Slay The Dragon, Save The Princess: Wednesday, April 30th, 2025

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We'll start your day off swirly.

It's the toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to the toast and happy hump day.

Hey, Bruno, how you doing?

Bruno is doing good the brutalist bruno has just really been showing up to work putting in the effort ever since he saw rodeo was getting top billing he said yeah don't forget i am the number one guy in this group don't forget i would say everything once first

i what'd you say he had no idea i fucked that up what'd you say it's a tick tock i was his everything

once first i understand i was once his everything like what is a tick tock sounds his everything once first first First ones?

I was once,

and don't you forget, I was, whatever, it's from a movie.

I think it's Julia Roberts.

Classic.

Classic.

Well, Bruno is my everything once first.

And I'm so excited that he's here to celebrate hump day and to celebrate the mama merch drop day, as I am Bruno's mama.

And we are so excited because our mama collection and our toasty bedbec collection dropped.

It's already sold out, but it is available for pre-order at shop toastmerch.com.

The mamas came through strong this morning.

And the thing is mamas are capable because we didn't have the usual issue where everybody heads to shopchanel.com.

You know,

um, that happens a lot when we do merch launches.

People see and they're like

immediate thought is to go to like Hermes.com or shopchanel.com.

And it's so confusing because our website's actually shop toastmerch.com.

And I know how confusing that can be, but moms are, you know, built tough.

They're, they're different.

So they didn't, we didn't have that issue.

Right.

They've been through a lot.

Like we didn't have that issue this morning, which was actually really nice.

Yeah, they're able to keep like simple facts, to keep their facts straight, you know, because they've been juggling a lot at once.

Yeah.

Like, you know, how many ounces?

How many diapers?

Let's have bath.

Like

choseburgs.com.

It kind of just rolls off the tongue.

Yeah.

So shout out to the mamas.

Hope everyone gets what they want and you can pre-order.

You know what I want?

Jordan.

Yes.

I get what I want.

And this winter break, I want Jordan.

I would literally only have Megan Fox on the podcast just to make her do that.

Like, I think she would be some people's dream guest.

That's why she wouldn't come on.

She's not the elk of that.

No, she wants to talk about like, you know, whatever it is that she's doing.

I want to talk about Holiday in the Sun.

I get what I want.

And this Swinter break, I want Jordan.

It's funny how we don't think of Megan Fox as like a child actress, even though like Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, Holiday in the Sun.

She was probably like 16.

She's a 16 actress.

Yeah, but I don't even think of her like that.

I just think of her as like a famous woman yeah um but not child because like she definitely came to us in her teens she was an oh she still is but a very talented young woman yeah she is very talented because she was such a bitch in both movies like she was really typecast as like the bully she never played like a nerd um and i couldn't help but wonder like was she like that in real life or is she just that good of an actress well i think she can't be put in a box if you were to ask her

if you were to ask her i don't think that she would answer that question i don't think she would like it well that's why she's not coming i don't think she would like any of our questions you you will love it you you will hate it literally um

so funny i was like sweeping yesterday i've been like sweeping really crazy and people are like oh she's nesting no and you take the nest and throw it out the window like i know Nesting like implies that you used to not be this way.

Like I've always been this.

No, but if you're in like turbo sweeper mode, that is the nesting.

I guess I'm only in turbo sweeper mode because I have a deadline, right?

Like once the baby comes, like I'm not gonna be able to be sweeping all the time.

So I gotta get all my sweeping done for the next couple of months.

It's the elk of nesting.

It's your version of nesting, I do think.

It's my version of nesting, but people are like, how sweet.

She's nesting.

You should see me.

Like seriously, throwing everything away.

I did my kitchen yesterday, which I've already done.

Actually, this is the second round of

sweep nesting.

And when I first found out I was pregnant, I was like, Ben, let's sweep the kitchen.

And we did.

And now it's like back to normal.

Um,

so I made like a little, I actually made it really nice.

Like, you guys, I should like really start one of those like organizational pages.

Like, I really could do it.

You should.

I made different cabinets for like different people.

Like, Ben has a cabinet.

Romeo now has a cabinet.

Rodeo.

He has half a cabinet.

Like, he has a baby.

What does he need?

He's well, first of all, you know, he's a brand ambassador, Romeo.

He's kind of the face of a brand called Wagwell, which is like a pet wellness company.

And so he has a lot of his supplements from them.

He's his father's son.

He is like a businessman.

So he needed like a specific but he doesn't get a whole cabinet he is a dog so he got half a cabinet and then my dry goods got the other half i feel weird about like keeping dog things with human things but like in new york city you just can't be so particular i understand and he was really like loving he thought mom this is nice and forget i buy so many nice things for him and then because is it a cabinet that's like Romeo height so he could go level what he wants.

It's on the floor.

And then I got him like a Pargy wicker basket to put all of his, you know, know, it's allergy season.

So he has his allergy and itch supplements.

It requires a lot.

He's echinesia.

He's a Romeo's an extremely well dog.

You know, I don't know what, like, whatever the opposite is.

Like, that's what Theo was.

Like, we seriously, like, we were just like, we want some food.

Here you go.

No, Romeo has like a regimen.

He has a cabinet now.

Ben has a cabinet.

And I'm working on clearing out one whole cabinet.

So by the time I, God willing, God willing, God willing, get back from the hospital, I have an empty cabinet in the kitchen for the babe.

Now, it's a cabinet that I need to empty full of Ben's crap.

we have a meat grinder that's cool we have never once ground our own meat does it attach to your kitchen aid it does but it's huge that's cool

okay so but like i feel as though we're past the the cool

i don't know i i've got my eye on throwing it away you should make him grind some meat I've also got my eye on his ninja creamy.

It's gotta go.

It's huge.

We don't make our own ice cream.

And I'm sorry.

I think it's time for Goodwill, somebody, somebody, another family to start making their own ice cream.

Yeah, I don't have one of those.

We did it once.

And it was so fun.

Yeah.

I do feel like you're not a real influencer until you have a ninja creamy.

Agreed.

And I am okay with that because I'm a podcaster.

Like, Romeo is going to use his ninja creamy and his

Wagwell vitamins.

And he's going to make a little.

That's actually a nice idea for Rodeo.

Maybe for his birthday.

Purchase smoothie.

Maybe for his birthday.

Oh, his birthday is coming up.

What's his birthday?

It's December.

we have time what are you gonna get him um a ninja creevy

we already have one no i'm just i keep waiting for ben one of ben's running jokes about my sweeping he actually hates that like i he'll need something and it was thrown away six months ago right

so i'm trying to be better with that but like with each day that passes i've just started like throwing things out and he doesn't notice Yeah, just like the meat grinder sounds sad to me because it's just like it just shows someone who's like wanting to eat healthier and like better his life.

And then you just like take away his tools.

But why do you need meat grinder like we have the most amazing kosher grocery packages hunting his own meat you know what meat would you need to be ground chicken beef we could buy it right but like when you grind it it's fresher but i'm sure the kosher grocery is so fresh i'm sure like the chicken breast versus the ground chicken at the kosher grocery is equal freshness like if you were hunting and killing your own sure dinner and then you get a cut of meat and that but you want meatballs then you can put it through the grinder sure luke combs can have a meat grinder at his house, okay?

And his palace.

Me in my apartment with my husband, who literally has never shot a gun in his life, like, we don't need it.

Chip and Joe grind their own meat sometimes.

And I feel like if I was in the process of the meat being ground, I would not be able to eat it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, that movie kind of ruined it.

Kingsman, Golden Circle, Yikes.

Okay.

That scene with the meat grinder in the diner.

I don't remember.

Then you obviously

saw it.

I have seen it, but obviously it had an impact on you you know pedro pascal in the diner at the end in the jungle julianne moore

put yourself there

like none of the sounds familiar that's the whole movie takes place in this diner remember elton john elton john yeah

like what's her name poppy julianne moore

pedro pascal

maybe

chucci stunt double yes fanly fuci is the actor's name.

His name is Mark.

Is it?

It's Fanly.

It's Fanly.

Yeah, as I said, we've been very busy.

Yeah.

We've been busy cleaning out.

I understand.

I love cleaning.

Like, this is a bonus of pregnancy.

I feel like I talk a lot about the thorns, not about the roses.

And one of the roses is like, it's become totally acceptable for me to be like my sweeper self.

And I love, I love just the urge I get to just like throw things out.

We both watched The Valley last night.

And did you see the highlight on acupuncture?

I did see that highlight of acupuncture.

I felt extremely seen.

Everyone's doing acupuncture.

I and I had no idea that Nia and Danny struggled with infertility for a year and a half, and that fertility acupuncture got her pregnant.

Okay, I have heard fertility acupuncture is like really amazing.

And I do have a lot of thoughts on the valley, and I will save them.

But I am, um, I was kind of shook at something I found out on last night's episode.

Let me think,

what did you find?

And maybe

give me a clue.

Maybe it's because I have a lack of context, but like someone I thought I knew

turned out to be something entirely different.

Janet?

No.

Oh,

Danny.

Because he gets drunk and grabs ass.

Yeah.

We all.

We all.

Like, we watched last.

Did you know that?

No.

Okay.

Okay.

So we'll talk about it in the recap, but like, that was enormously disappointing.

No, no, no.

That was like an insane thing to casually say.

Like, oh, that's.

And it wasn't even made a storyline.

That, that, that, um, conversation with Jasmine was like a flashback.

I think it will become a storyline.

I think that's gonna be the thing that Nia gets upset about Janet for bringing up.

Because, like, Nia

acts like, and I think for the most part, like, her life is very, you know, idyllic.

Um, and she likes to keep it that way.

And, like, no, you know, she doesn't want anyone to like know if there's ever any trouble.

Like, last season, Danny got drunk at one of the dinners, and he was just like being annoying and crazy.

And she was a bad drunk.

She was dying.

He didn't even do anything wrong.

She was literally humiliated.

Yikes.

Yeah, so I will say that for the valley recap, but like that was disappointing.

No, that was so out of left field.

None of us saw that coming.

It's not you.

Okay, good.

And what else do you want to chit-chat about on this Pargy Wednesday morning?

It is so gorgeous out in New York City.

I can't believe I'm sitting inside.

Like, it's so Pargy.

Sunny.

Podcast outside.

That's like in school when you would like have class in the park.

And that was like the best day.

Yes, except like because we went to school in the city, it like wasn't as much of a thing as it is, I think, in other schools.

No, you have class outside, even in college.

Sometimes you'd have class outside.

No, I'm talking about like high school in the city.

Oh, like we didn't do it as much.

We didn't because, like, if you're on like a high school campus, like, yeah, sure, let's go sit out and by the tree, but we'd have to like get field trip permission slips.

Like,

it wasn't a thing.

That's like kind of a something not enough people talk about, kind of a downside of going to school in a major city.

Yeah, that's no school outside.

Well, I hope you guys are having class outside today to our

what are maybe what's after

Gen Z?

Gen Z

alpha.

Alpha, but like Alpha's like Charlie.

Yeah, like babies.

Charlie didn't have class outside.

I do think maybe one day this week.

Don't you feel like Gen Z is getting a little old?

I don't really think much about Gen Z.

I think there was a time period where I was like really obsessed with getting them to be like into me and think I'm cool and skinny and pretty.

And now, like, I don't know if it's the culture has moved on from being obsessed with Gen Z or I just personally have a bit of a definitely had the Osama of it all like definitely helped.

Like not only am I not interested,

not only am I not interested in what they think of me, us and our show, like I actually don't want them here unless they're sound of mind individuals.

Yeah,

I agree, but I just feel like they're getting old and irrelevant just like the rest of us.

Yeah, like welcome.

Nobody cares about you.

We were all, you know, everything.

Oh, yeah, remember when everybody wanted to get the millennial.

The millennial consumer, the millennial vote.

Yeah, we were all special.

Like you, and how you act at the top is really interesting interesting because we're gonna see you on the way down bitch like yeah i feel like gen z is like with us as like a discarded generation now like nobody's targeting to them or they are but like it's they're moving they're moving away from their time has is has come and the way they behaved at the top

That's what I'm saying.

It was not a good look.

But I do feel like that's the circle of life.

I feel like every generation, when they're in their prime like that, behaves awful.

Like millennials, was there a lazier, more entitled bunch?

No.

I don't identify with those characteristics.

No, No, well, you can't put me in a box.

So I'm not talking.

You actually can't put me in a generation.

I am transgenerational.

I'm not talking about me and I'm not talking about you.

And we're not talking about anybody who listens to this show either.

I am timeless.

You're timeless to me.

Like in any time, in any generation, like I would be the same person.

I'm not affected.

Oh, that's interesting.

That's how I feel about my looks.

Like I am a timeless beauty.

Like I think that if were you to drop me in any century, I could like adapt.

I'd wear the clothes, I'd fit in, and I would be considered like a beautiful woman in any generation.

That is how I feel.

I agree, but I do think there are some generations for me that I would have been more beautiful in.

Of course, no, you would have like been higher up on the list, but you, you wouldn't be considered, you know.

An ugly duckling, where there are people now who are like good looking for our time, but they would have never cut it in the Renaissance.

No, but also they very much look like ours from our time.

Well, I would say it's a matter of like, have you had work done?

Because you wouldn't have asked it

pre-plastic surgery.

Right.

And so I feel comfortable knowing like, yes, I have Botox and things, but I have maintained a face that could thrive in any millennia.

Yeah.

That's something I'm really proud of.

Yeah, but I think people who have had a lot of work done, they wouldn't be looking like this.

in the Renaissance.

No, no.

And if they did, they would have looked like old maiden looks.

People would point at them and be be like, that's an alien.

Like, if you showed up with your big ass lips and like a BBL.

Yeah, that's an alien.

They would point at you on the reservoir during like the daily walks and be like, who's that?

I would love to get a time machine just to send someone with a BBL back.

Back to like the Gilded Age.

Yeah.

Well, actually, they all look like they had a BBL with those petticoats.

Yeah, right.

And the corsets.

That was the look back then.

That was actually, the more things change, the more they stay.

The more they stay the same.

So true.

You would have hidden that thing.

Well, do you ever think about getting a BBL?

No.

Have you ever seen like the BBL recovery videos where like you sit literally in a colostomy bag that like collects blood?

It's, it's probably one of the most severe recoveries.

Um, you have to like lay on your stomach for days at a time.

Um, you're in this like girdle that has like bags attached to collect like fluids.

Um, it's, it's absolutely brutal.

And I think more often than not, you look like clowns.

Like even a really good BBL, it's like, we're not buying it.

You have this huge ass, tiny waist and tiny thighs.

Like, where is gravity in all of this?

No, I can't get into the mind of someone that wants a BBL.

No, I think a good example of like a BBL that like James Charles.

No, no.

Like James Charles, right?

This is obviously.

There's like a like, yes.

Okay.

He hasn't confirmed it, but it's like he showed up with a big fat ass.

Yeah.

Like, where did you get this big fat ass we we couldn't help but wonder and

he has he has a seemingly normal body otherwise like there's nothing that would indicate this person has like big hips and a big ass he has a very normal waist very normal thighs and just like this big ass and it doesn't make sense like we know how bodies work and so i think that even a really good bbl and i'm sure he went to the best of the best i think even a good one looks bad.

What's so funny is he's obviously like not obsessed with it because there are no pictures of him from behind on his Instagram.

Well, so there was a period where he had like obviously just gotten the BBL and was like really into showing it off.

And the internet is.

I don't know if he thought that like people weren't going to notice.

Oh wait, he literally posted on May 7th a picture of him like in a bikini.

And he doesn't turn around, but he said, Drizzy ain't got nothing on this BBL.

Right.

It was so obvious that he had gotten one.

that the internet like clowned on him and he leaned in.

Oh, okay.

And so I don't even think that one looks good yeah if there are some surgeries like

even like if you don't get a good one like it's still better you know like i think like fake boobs like

even i hate my boobs so much like even if i got like a bad boob job like oh they're standing up on their own i'm good i don't agree entirely with that but i understand what you're the point that you're making like some like lips is very sensitive like you have to have them done well or else they look very bad um that's how i feel i think a bbl even the best bbl looks bad a bad boob job like all right no like even the best like unless there's someone who's had a bbl and we actually don't know because it doesn't look like a bbl like bbls aren't meant to be like subtle surgeries no no no but let me ask gee

i won't go into evaluating women's bodies we could do that offline

all right i mean i'm open i'll text you let me know if it's a fair question are you asking me like if i think this person had a bbl yeah or some version of it and does oh okay larsa

uh A few of you.

She totally had to be crazy.

Yeah, okay, okay.

Are you crazy?

And like, hers is not, like, in my opinion, like a super well-done one.

I texted you a name.

Oh, no, I don't think.

Let me actually look up.

I don't think there's something.

You don't think there's might just be fat injections.

Yeah, some people do that too.

I think that's like a subtle way of doing that.

And you might have people start out.

No, she hasn't.

Okay.

Yeah.

That's just, I don't know that for a fact, but.

I just feel like it's not the original ass.

Maybe not.

Yeah.

Maybe not.

Fat injections.

A fat injection, yeah.

I just don't want fat injected anywhere.

Like, seriously, take it away, boy.

What's the opposite of injection?

Dejection?

Lego section.

Yeah, like I need fat

dejected from my face, not injected.

That's why I can't relate.

Make something bigger?

No thanks.

Seriously.

I guess lips.

I guess.

I wouldn't make them smaller.

Right, right.

But everything else, make it smaller.

Yeah.

My philosophy on plastic surgery for my body personally is to make everything smaller.

Tit's ass face, boots,

belly, ears, neck, like everything.

Yeah.

But that's my philosophy.

Yeah, I agree.

Well, I'm ready to dive in if you are.

I have some harsh words for the

desperate housewives reboot that everyone's talking about.

So also say, Claudia is not getting a BBL anytime soon.

Not today.

But if she does, you'll know.

We'll be sitting on our BBL pillows.

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Our first story, Little Sidney Sweeney knew, she was spotting Get it Close to her co-star, Brendan Sklenar.

I don't know why I think his name is Brendan when it's Brandon.

No, it's Brendan Slinar.

On

the page.

You might say they have Brandon.

You might think that because I say it all the time or because that's his name.

No, but also because like something about Sklinar lends itself to Brendan.

Phonetically, I completely.

Because there's an energy.

It's Brandon.

Let's go, Brandon.

Brandon Sklenar.

Brandon.

Oh, this changes things.

He's just a Brandon.

He's not a Brendan.

He's such a Brendan.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I just have to change my whole outlook on life.

Let's go, Brendan.

Brendan.

It's because of the Sklenar.

Yeah, no.

Like, if

visually,

oratorially, and phonetically, Sklenar has the same exact vibe as Brendan.

No, it's true.

If it was, it would be Brandon Sklonar.

Exactly.

No, I'll try to call him Brandon Sklonar,

but absolutely no promises.

There are two different words in two different languages.

Languages, yeah.

Brandon Sklenar and Sidney Sweeney were spotted together at Stagecoach.

Getting close, yes, but also it's a tight crowd, so everyone's close.

So we're not going to say that they were canoodling, but they were next to each other at Stagecoach.

they're actually the video i saw he was like directly behind her which i thought was even more intimate than like being next to someone at a concert do you know what i mean i know but like i feel like it's not fair to assume assume just because crowds are crowded crowds are crowded these two are obviously friends they're working on a project together maybe they just like happen to get along or both like really love country music sure Sure.

Yeah, so it's like, let's take a day off, go see a country concert, but I'm sorry.

Like she's 27, he's 34.

She's beautiful he's handsome she's single we think even though she was just spotted with the restaurant tour a couple days ago and the dog i hope they're not doing dog did you see the picture of her um like holding up her ring finger no she's single she's single but she was with jonathan devino the other day maybe they have like a life to i think they're having the dog issue Well, and someone commented yesterday, a lot of people are like weighing in and they said that they did the like co-parenting with the dog and it was a mess.

But but judge judy says that you should never get a dog in a relationship it has to clearly be someone's so even if we're in a relationship and we're getting a dog like we have to know whose it is yeah but that's like really tough to like breach the conversation like we're in a loving relationship i'm getting a dog like i don't trust you i don't trust that this relationship is going full term but i'd like a dog yeah but i do like seriously how do you i do feel like whenever a couple is getting a dog there is someone who is pushing who wants it yes sometimes it's like a true genuine like we're making a family like people who act like they're having a kid uh but then sometimes yeah it's like one of the people in the relationship wants a dog and they're like foisting it on the other person it's situational i trust judge shuddy implicitly i thought that was a good policy because this is a mess the more i thought about it like the more my brain is jumbled i don't know what the right thing it's an impossible situation it is it is so obviously sydney sweeney has found herself in a situation like that and she's still tethered to jonathan devino vis-a-vis the dog and she wants to be with orex glennards they might like they might co-own a house too like like they were gonna get married so like and they were together for quite some time.

So I don't think it's so crazy that they saw each other.

I don't think it's them getting back together.

Like by any means, especially like once you go Slinar.

You can't go Devino.

Sounds like a injury attorney at like

and Powell.

Right.

I love this.

coupling if that's what it is.

They also like, there was a TikTok I saw.

So they also like spent the weekend together.

They like were on this party bus.

Like I

i don't want to jump to conclusions and i don't want to get excited because i have loved brendan slidar like long before all these other bitches did like i i actually discovered him oh a thousand percent

um

and everyone's now watching like the first season of 1923 but like i watched it like a million years ago for some reason and i saw something in him 1923 literally i saw something in him that nobody else did he was just like some random guy but to me he wasn't like to me he was so much more than that and i yeah right he was my everything once first and

i

like like, I feel very close and attached to him.

And now he's getting, like, super famous.

Like he did the movie with Megan Fahey and Sidney Sweeney.

Sort of like, let him go.

Blake Lively.

And so everybody thinks that they know Brendan Slenar and they don't know him the way that I, now, granted, I did just learn his name.

But I feel attached to him.

And I actually really approve of this.

And this is what I've wanted for Sidney Sweeney, right?

This is what her career has been missing

as like this bombshell who popped on the scene.

Everybody loves her.

She's in a million movies.

She's been missing that relationship to sort of go along and have your your star rise.

So I think this is fabulous.

Yeah, even though I think she raises his star more.

Yes, but he's not a nobody and he's really up and coming.

He's a nobody.

Like it's it's really a sweet, cute relationship.

But I also think like they're filming the movie together.

They went to skate coach.

I imagine these are the early days of what could be and they're still figuring it out too.

So the added pressure doesn't help, but I'm sure they're having fun and I don't feel sorry for them and the pressure.

No, they're going to be completely fine.

I also really like to see like so many celebs, almost equal amounts now, like making news, doing things at Stagecoach versus Coachella.

It used to be first week of Coachella, like everyone was there, paparazzi, la la la.

And then second week, like nobody went.

And then nobody cared about stagecoach.

But now, like.

I saw a million videos.

I saw like Mila and Ashton at Stagecoach.

I saw so many celebrities.

Right.

That's what I'm saying.

The Lana Del Rey effect.

Where are they when like country is just getting shot on the rest of the year?

They're nowhere.

Also, I don't think it has a lot to do with country.

I think country is definitely more up and coming.

But, like, that's what we were saying on Monday with our stagecoach recap.

It's like the Lana Del Rey effect.

A lot of them went for Lana.

Interesting, but like, okay, you just go for Lana and then you leave.

Or like, you're going for Lana, like, let's spend the weekend.

Yeah, but like, how are you going to spend multiple hours like listening to a genre that you don't like?

Like, I couldn't do it.

But, yes, but if you find it, because I saw like Mila and Ashton were at the Google Dolls.

So, like, you can

make it like mainstream.

Yeah, like curate your day.

You can.

Like the same way at any festival, you would curate your day.

I could not curate my day at certain festivals.

Same, same.

I'm also not like a festival goer.

I feel like celebrities love festivals.

Like I find festivals, like I only, literally only have been to Stagecoach and Coachella.

And I've had amazing times at both of them, but I don't like missing.

I don't like look forward to them.

They're like, they're journeys for me, you know?

We've been to GovBall.

Yeah, but like that was short.

That was in our hometown.

We went for one concert and left.

Like that doesn't count.

Yeah.

We weren't like there all day festivaling.

I feel like we were.

I don't think so.

It's, I feel like we were, but that was another time.

It was the 80s.

It was the 80s.

It was literally the 80s when we went to Gumpball.

Just want to say this is not a confirmation of a relationship, but I'm really hoping that it is.

Like forever.

We're on a good, strong path.

Yep.

Just don't ever, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Let's just let them do their thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Our next story.

Unfortunately, we have to talk about the interview that Megan Markle

did on a podcast.

Like, I'm sorry, but we do.

No, this is exactly the type of Megan news I want to talk about because it's decently substantial.

And when we've talked about her podcast up until this far, we have learned nothing about Megan.

We have her personal life, her as a mom, her as a wife, her as a friend.

And so now she's going on someone else's podcast to promote her own podcast.

It's her friend Jamie, who also is like the first female CEO at L'Oreal.

She's the CEO of It Cosmetics.

I didn't know any of this before.

She has her own podcast.

and they did a pod swap because she's on Megan's podcast this week.

Yes.

But her conversation with Megan on her own podcast is much more interesting.

It is because it's more personal.

The clips are going so viral of Megan having various conversations with Jamie Kern Lima on the Jamie Kern Lima show.

JKO.

So she's talking about motherhood.

She's talking about her marriage.

She's talking about her work ethic.

She's talking about her.

Her like that, her self-worth.

Her self-worth, you know, how she feels now versus how she felt then.

There are so many like takeaway headlines from she cries the interview oh what did she cry about she was talking about um

was it i think it was like related to her self-worth and how like that for so many years like she's just always felt like she had to prove herself the prove it at the prove-it game um

i had so many thoughts on this interview like first of all here's some quotes like when she talks about harry she talks about harry she talks about their marriage and also like they're not getting divorced she said like we'll be married forever and um so everyone who, like, thought they were getting divorced, like, they're not, because, like, you, I never, no, run it back.

I don't think they're, I don't think they're getting divorced.

I don't think they can get divorced.

You were believing the rumors for a while.

No, I like, even if they fucking hate each other, they're not getting divorced.

They can't.

They can't.

But that's not what she was saying.

No.

She was saying, we love each other so much, we'll never even think about it.

No, and like, she says, like, she thinks about the game Super Mario and like, what's the, the, the end goal.

Cringe, when she said this, like, this was seriously butt-clenching, like, cringe-worthy the end goal of the game what happens like the you slay the dragon and you save the princess and like that's literally what h did for her h yeah

i think

that tweet that's like megan explains why she calls him h and he calls her m and someone was like and i imagine it has something to do with his name being harry and her name being megan

i think so

my takeaway i had so many like big thoughts from this and big feelings the first big feelings The thing is, is that this is not new.

This actually is, I think, who Megan is, right?

Yes, because I have a distinct memory.

And I remember when it happened, like people, for people for a while, ate up everything she said.

And I remember being like a hater in the corner, being like, that's really cringe.

Remember when she said, like, her and Harry don't watch TV and like their nighttime routine is doing a little Duolingo before bed, learning a new language.

And people were like, I like it.

And I just remember being like, are you fucking serious?

Like, get a TV.

You live in America.

Like, and so she has been like this always.

Now people just hate her and they like, they're taking clips and they're like clouting on her.

I just want to say she's nothing if not consistent.

This is how she has always been.

And now people like being having their eyes opened, being like, who talks like this?

Some of us have been having those thoughts for a while.

I just want to say.

Now, nothing she said was like harmful or bad.

She's just really, really cringey.

And I don't know if she sees herself.

like it lacked a little like a self-awareness.

Yeah.

And it does make you question, like, is she really like this all the time?

And I agree.

She's been like this in public since you've known her.

In public, for sure.

How can someone be like this at all times?

And like get things done.

You know, and she's busy.

She's like a business owner probably.

I'm talking about like how busy she is.

And she listed a lot of tasks that she does like for various businesses.

And she's busy.

She's busy.

I also had a lot of thoughts on the host.

Like,

I found her annoying.

And the host was just enamored with her.

Yeah.

And she just couldn't believe the opportunity.

She had a podcast to go on.

She was just like, yeah, like every time Megan talked.

But they're like best friends.

I was getting the vibe that they're best friends.

I was getting the vibe too, but I feel like Megan want everyone she's like bringing into her orbit on the show, on the podcast, I think she wants us to think like is her close personal friend.

I got the vibe.

I got the vibe that they are best friends.

Cause she's like, remember when I told you this?

Remember when this happened?

Remember that?

So when Mindy Kaling went on, I was like, oh, they're friends.

And then like Mindy Kaling went on the view and was like talking.

And it was just like giving like

a sense of distance.

Like she was so excited to be on it and honored to be.

And she loves Megan and they've seen each other a couple of times, but they're not like chit-chatting.

Yeah.

Also, something about the Mindy Kaling episode that happened in the episode that like kind of bugged me then and bugs me every day now when I make a peanut butter sandwich.

Like when they talk about making the lunches or whatever, Mindy's like, no, I do it.

I use organic peanut butter.

She's like, all that oil.

What do you do with it?

And Megan kind of just like brushed by the comment.

Like, no, she really spoke to a truth.

Like, all that oil on the top of organic peanut butter, you don't have it with Skippy.

You're supposed to mix it.

You're supposed to mix it.

But like, I didn't know why Megan didn't like respond to that.

I really wish she had like spoken about it.

Okay.

So that's what's bothering me.

It's like a real issue.

Every day, the oil on the top.

So that's Mindy being like so relatable.

So relatable.

I've seen, I think I saw something where someone was like, if you store it upside down, then the oil will go to the other top and then you flip it over.

So I'm trying that.

I decided to do that.

I saw a device.

It's like a wire.

It's like a coil almost and you put it in the peanut butter and you just like sort of churn it and it mixes the whole thing together.

I'll send it to you.

I'm going to put my own butter.

You know what I should do?

I should put it in that butter churner Olivia got me.

Yes.

Because I'm not making my own butter.

No.

But I just thought that was like so nice.

Like Mindy Killing was really trying to like enter like the crunchy convo.

And such a real thing that she said.

And she was brutally rebuffed.

It's true.

So the thing is with Megan, at this point,

she's not winning anyone new over, right?

There are people who just love her and there are people who recently like have decided that they fucking hate her.

And

I almost,

I like,

I don't know.

I don't know what the if I'm trying to like give her advice.

Like I, I don't know how to advise her because when she opens her mouth, she's like seriously and defensibly insufferable.

Yeah, I would say, like, make yourself more scarce.

But that's it's like, it's her turn now.

It's her turn.

Yeah, that's what she's seen.

Nowhere to be seen.

That's what I've been thinking.

I was actually thinking about that last night.

And that was another thought I had when I saw this podcast ever.

I'm like, man, she's everywhere.

Like the jam, the show, the podcast, now this.

And I'm like, where the fuck is her annoying ass, ugly husband?

And it's like, well, he was up our asses for two whole years with his three books.

So it's like they take turns being like public,

like taking public spankings just to pay their bills.

Yeah.

But I just feel like there's a lot of talking happening.

People are

talking no action.

Yeah, people aren't loving like what they're saying.

Everything's being dissected and some things

justifiably and some things not.

But like I feel like people are being harsh, but she is not making it easy.

There are some criticisms that I genuinely don't agree with.

And then I see some that I'm like, yeah, that's spot on.

And I just feel like they need to find a way to make money where they don't have to talk so much.

Yeah.

But so much of what's interesting about them is their personal lives.

Harry specifically has a struggle with his family.

We got the story.

It's not interesting.

But Jackie, they don't have other things.

That's what I'm saying.

They're, they're

just like, you can sell jam without talking.

Not enough to pay and live in Montecito.

And the flower sprinkles.

Correct.

Thank you.

You made my point even further.

They have to rely on their personal lives for content, whether it's a documentary, a book, a TV show.

It's getting a little old and they're not like deeply interesting or funny on camera.

Maybe they are in their personal lives, but it's not translating and it's a real issue for them because they're running out of places to do it.

Well, I'm ready for her to go back to acting.

1,000 places.

Someone else's lines.

She's a really good actress.

She's very beautiful.

She is an excellent actress.

I discovered that on Suits.

Like she she was really,

and I don't think she's like her character.

Like, I think it was a role.

Like, she really had to act differently.

I do think going back to acting is a great call.

There's a new suits.

I think that will be next.

Like, I think she'll finish out this cycle of work.

Then Harry will do something.

Uh-huh.

Harry taps in.

Harry taps in.

I think he'll sink the ship even lower.

And then I do think that she will act again.

I would, I, I would love that.

As she should.

But then also, then you have to remember, and I guess we could have this, you know, issue with anyone, any actor or actress who's doing like a lot of

self

promotion, just talking about themselves.

Like they could be acting.

They are an actor.

Well, great.

Act.

So yeah,

that was a fun, a fun journey.

And shout out to the Jamie Kern Lima show.

JK.

Big get.

Big get.

Our next story, a little TV news.

Desperate Housewives offshoot show with Syria Lane is in the works at Onyx from Kerry Washington and Natalie Chiadez.

I feel that this isn't so misleading because when I heard it, I was like, okay, they've said that all the women are down.

And Yva Longoria has always said, like, it's, we'll do it.

You have to get Mark Cherry to agree to do it.

Like,

and now I saw this headline.

I'm like, oh, so I guess Mark Cherry's on board.

Maybe they're going to.

And it not one single person or production company or whatever from the original show is involved.

So

how, I don't know if this is like off-brand, Desperate Housewives.

I don't know how.

Yeah, I think it's a reboot by another name.

They know that that word is like, nobody's going for that at the moment.

So it's sort of like a spin-off reimagining and now it's called Wisteria Lane and it's the same concept.

I think it's better though.

I was just like looking.

Someone sent me something, but I already knew this.

Like Marcia Cross's personal brand has

completely ruined the legacy of Desperate House.

I was like, the way I was looking, someone sent me like one of her tweets.

Like she's like Mahmoud Khalil, the way she tweets.

She's like a radical, crazy person.

I completely agree.

And even beyond Marsha Cross's like craziness, I don't want a Desperate Housewives.

And I'm the biggest fan of the show.

I just watched it again for like the fifth time in my life.

I watched it live.

It is a show that raised me.

It is.

perfect.

It needs to not be touched.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Their reboot is not going to be good, even if everyone was involved.

Stop it.

I actually think that if all the women came back and Mark Cherry, this is a show that actually could be like continue on because they're still housewives they're older but it's not like they were in high school and now they're like with kids like they were 40 and now they're 60 like there's narratively narratively the show can go on except if you watch like towards the end like it wasn't good anymore all the women did move off the lane yes they could move back for sure like not a big deal but like it ran its course and it was good and like why can't it just be good i'm just saying of all like the reboots to bring back like an original cast and do it again like this narratively would work yes

because you can always just live on a street street i'm not interested in marsha cross being in it and i'm also not interested in watching it without brie so

i also don't know not if felicity if felicity huffman is like doing active roles i think she's like over that life and of course the terry hatcher drama it's a mess it's not happening No, the only one who's like clean and good to go is Yvalon Goria.

And she gets asked about it all the time.

And she's like, yeah, sure.

And she's still like the wealthiest woman in the world now.

She's married to an actual billionaire.

Why would you like to get it?

She also forget

at the end of the show.

Vanessa Williams was a, was a housewife, Renee Perry.

She was like the last two, three seasons.

She was an excellent addition.

And I would love to have her back.

I would consider her, she's not one of the OG four, but if they brought it back, she should be there.

Agreed.

So then this new version is going to be like all new wives.

And I think it's possible that it could be good, but it has to be written by Mark Cherry.

You need like an.

It's not.

But like you need an insanely good writer.

That's what what made Desperate Housewives so amazing.

And they don't have that and they're not willing to do that.

It was a perfect show.

Yes.

Mark Cherry, all the writers, like it was the best of the best, but it was also just sometimes you hit it.

Right.

And it's a perfect casting, perfect everything.

It's not going to happen.

And I'm so over this reboot.

Like stop

desecrating the legacy of great shows.

Yeah.

Also, Carrie Washington's involved on the production side.

Unclear if she would be in the show.

I do think that if she were were in the show, like that wouldn't be good.

I don't, I'm not familiar so much with her production work.

You know, I think she does a little, like, she's similar to like how Reese Witherspoon does it on like the biggest and best scale.

And a lot of actresses have their own production companies and like higher.

I don't know a lot of Carrie Washington's behind-the-scenes work.

I think look, Carrie Washington Productions.

I feel, no, Little Fires Everywhere was definitely Hello Sunshine.

That was Hello Sunshine, but maybe it was in collaboration.

And that show was really bad.

Yes, it was.

So So that's like a demerit for all the people involved.

Okay.

But Carrie Washington does come from like a very, very prestigious, successful, long-running ABC show, just like Desperate Housewise scandal.

She obviously wasn't like a right.

She was just the actress.

It was Shonda, Shanta Land production.

But there is like the ABC overlap.

I don't know.

I just, I'm not interested.

So she has a production company called Simpson Street Productions and

it's in, like, they have an overall deal with ABC.

Got it.

So now I'm on their website and I'm not really seeing the productions.

Nothing familiar.

I'm not seeing productions.

Let me

see their Instagram.

Though it says they have like a season, but I think we'll get there.

Okay.

I just want to say, like, I'm not going to watch this.

I'm not going to support.

Like, I love the show.

And even like decent reboots, whatever you want to call them, they never

do

what they need to do.

At this point, I'm no longer even going to be like happy for a second when I see the headline and then realize that it's bad.

Like anytime I see the word reboot or I see my favorite show in the news, like I'm going to be sad.

I completely agree.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Leave Wisteria Lane alone.

So Simpson Street has a new movie called Shadow Force, only in theaters May 9th with Carrie Washington.

Okay, I haven't heard about it.

Street You Grew Up On, Season 4 Starts Tomorrow.

Okay.

Um Shadow Force again.

So it's probably like a new venture for her.

Yeah, but yeah.

Yeah.

So this would be big.

Yeah, unfortunately, it's going to be like I as the I feel I am the chairman of the Desperate Housewives fan club and we are extremely like protective of the of the brand and I'm saying no.

Same with Clueless.

But like narratively, Clueless doesn't make sense to bring back.

They weren't high.

It was about high school.

It's about the moment in time, that age that you are.

Leave it.

Yeah.

So, and they just like, honestly, they don't have the talent in Hollywood to do great things anymore.

It's so true.

Especially writing wise.

Writing-wise.

Are you ready for our next story?

Mm-hmm.

Katy Perry is speaking out about being beaten and bruised and battered and bruised by the internet.

So she took to social media to write a comment that she's felt battered and bruised, but has kept looking to the light.

So if you're worried about Katy Perry, she is speaking out about all of the hate that she is receiving.

And Katie is doing okay.

Mostly.

She seems like a very healed and therapied person that, I mean, nobody can really withstand like such global like mockery, but she seems to be taking it as well as one could.

Yeah.

Based on this one comment.

She responded to the online hate in a lengthy comment under a post from her fan page, Katie Perry Brazil.

She said, I'm so grateful for you guys.

We're in this beautiful and wild journey together i can continue to remain true to myself heart open and honest especially because of our bond i love you guys and have grown up together with you and i'm so excited to see you all over the world this year please know i am okay i have done a lot of work around knowing who i am what is real and what is important to me she referenced some advice her therapist gave her saying no one can make you believe something about yourself that you don't already believe about yourself which i actually thought is like it's good advice

it's pretty true like if someone says something mean about you like it only really hurts if it's true when it like rings true or it touches on something you're insecure about.

But someone says something like so out of the field, it's like

objection, relevance.

She said, when the online world tries to make me a human pinata, I take it with grace and send them love because I know so many people are hurting in so many ways.

And the internet is very much so a dumping ground for unhinged and unhealed.

So

it seems like, you know,

she's doing these shows, by the way.

There are people there.

Like she has a lot of fans.

So, the fact that she's choosing to just lean into that, I think, is a very healthy

mindset.

And just like, this is not for the internet.

It's for the kitty cats.

It's for our universe.

I don't know how one deals with this, but she seems to be doing well.

She does.

I actually was feeling like maybe she didn't even know what everyone was saying about her because she's like...

Protected from that.

Protected.

And she's also like older.

She doesn't need to like be in the comments all the time.

It's not like she's an influencer.

So I could imagine a world world where like she doesn't even know that this is happening outside of like, you know, in terms of comments and stuff.

So it makes me sad to know that like she

understands that she's the pinata of society right now.

But that she seems like strong enough.

And also like she is a little like delusional and nutty.

And I think it takes that type of person to go through something like this.

100%.

Like a healthy dose of delusion is really...

in a situation like this, medica, medicinal.

It's, yeah, it really is.

So because it provides a a layer of protection yeah i agree and i think she's like happy and fulfilled in her personal life like you really can't bring her down she also has like so much more than like most of these online people will ever have in their entire lifetimes and she does have a very fulfilled personal life and that helps like that man or lena bloom loves her and like she is a

beautiful happy family yeah she has more than most yeah i'm i'm sure she focuses on that it's important too are you ready for our fifth and final story that will lead into our recap?

That, like, so sprung up.

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Sizing is, I believe it was Garrett Hedlund who said, sizing is everything.

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Today's episode is also brought to you by Taylor Farms.

Okay, like obviously Jackie is, I want to say like one of, if not the face of Taylor Farms, right?

So sweet of you to say.

I definitely see myself that way, but I wasn't sure if other people, I didn't realize that was happening.

And it feels so good to make a salad, right?

You're like, oh, I am the beacon of health.

Everybody's looking at me.

But making a salad is so much work, especially if you like it really chopped with lots of ingredients.

And then obviously salad in a bag is a great option, but I think we've been conditioned and over the years, we're like salad in a bag, it's brown, it's gross.

No, Taylor Farms is out here like reinventing the salad in a bag.

First of all, it was a category that needed reinvention too.

It's so true.

They're salad flavors, like they have really fun, like different

style salads.

I'm boring.

I like the Caesar.

You know me.

I like the Caesar too.

And I'm like not even that boring, but it's like, you could do so much with it.

You could dress it up.

You could dress it down.

The dressings are so good.

So you could just do the dressing.

But I also love

the Mediterranean crunch.

The Mediterranean crunch, avocado ranch, sweet kale.

Your family will love them.

If you want to make it for yourself for lunch, it's like so easy.

If you want to have a dinner party and not have to spend all day chopping a million ingredients, throw a Taylor Farms in there.

You could also dress it up.

Like if you wanted to add protein, grill some chicken, be fancy, throw some turkey in there.

But also, if you just want to literally throw it in your purse and eat it on the way to work, that works too.

Taylor Farms are more personal than comedy and more personal than food, yet.

Everyone loves them.

There's no chopping, no slicing.

Everything is fresh.

The dressing's really yummy.

Just mix it up and give yourself a round of applause.

Grab grab a taylor farms chopped salad kit and get your salad together i didn't realize that was happening i i didn't realize that was happening

our fifth and final story did you watch watch what happens live last night oh i didn't who was on brittany and luke random luke from summer house luke kristen's husband oh

well i like that i thought of somebody who hasn't been on bravo in three years yeah before i thought of luke kristen's husband who was on bravo but honestly someone must have canceled because it was a very strange to have him because he didn't, like, he's just Luke.

He is what you thought he would be.

He gave like no tea.

He was asked shady questions and he was like, I didn't know that was happening.

I think that Brittany also could have and should have deserved a one-on-one.

Yeah, so maybe it was also good that they had someone there who wasn't talking that much because Brittany had a lot to share with us.

Is this about the Stasi thing?

No, this is about Jax and her relationship.

She was asked about Stasi.

She was.

Being like, now that you're not like with Jax anymore and like he was obviously the problem, like have you and Stasi reconciled?

And I thought for sure the answer was going to be yes.

No, the person asked like, has Stasi reached out since you've gotten divorced?

And she was like, no, she hasn't reached out, but I see her around.

And it's always good.

It's always love and hugs.

And that's fine.

And she also said, like, what we know, like, obviously it's all about like the wedding, like them not going to Bo and Stasi's wedding.

There's so much more that people don't realize.

And a lot of it has to do with Jax.

So I am holding out hope.

I would love these two to be like really good friends.

Yeah.

I mean, it wouldn't do anything for me at this point.

They're not on the same show.

So it's not like I'm like.

No, just like vibes.

Yeah.

yeah but it seems like they're like totally fine fine which is good because like ocean's birthday party like you don't want people fighting at ocean's birthday party correct um but she was shading jax's sex skills on watch what happens live did you see this no yeah so she was asked a lot of questions about jax she was asked about his recovery and she said like she kind of cast a little doubt on it like She was like, he's still Jax.

Like, I hope he can be.

She's so entitled to that.

And, like, if that's real, I'm sure she would be the first person to be like, he is changed.

This is the man I've been waiting for.

You know what I mean?

Like if he was, but she was like, he still has his Jax personality.

I hope he like continues on the path, but like, it's still not great.

And like, she's not getting back together with him ever.

So I wonder why she hasn't filed.

That's a separate question.

But she was asked to rate his sex skills by the shady dress.

There's a new

game in town?

A new prop, Kristen Dodie last week, gave the green dress

to Andy, and then they put it on a mannequin.

They called it shady revenge dress.

And so she was asking shady questions.

And it was asked to rate Jax's bed skills.

And so she said, there were times when he was about a seven or an eight, but, you know, most of the time he was a two or a three.

No stamina, no nothing.

Well, you know, this is a person who we've now realized like is an addict.

And when you have all these different substances coursing through your veins, it honestly

usually affects your ability to hold an erection and such.

Yeah, but he's also like a sex addict.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, and I don't think sex addicts are like particularly good at sex.

They're here for a good time, not a long time.

Yeah, that's true.

I love this.

Like, I know she has been holding back like so much for so many years.

And she still maintains like a level of respect because it is Cruz's dad.

I actually don't think that she maintains it.

But

she doesn't feel this like enormous responsibility to protect him as Cruz's dad, which I actually like because I find that annoyingly.

It's more entertaining.

And also, I think she feels a bigger responsibility to do an amazing job at her job, to make more money to provide for her son than she feels to protect Jax.

And I actually think that that's like a

compromise that's like really fair because they are pub.

They're not like any couple that just went on reality TV and like you want to protect the father of your child.

Like it's Jax.

Like this is his livelihood.

It's your livelihood.

And playing koi about it will affect their bottom line.

And it's all already out there.

So I actually think that that's like fair for them.

It's in, it's in her best interest too, because it helps ultimately provide.

And like she has sole custody of Cruz.

Like she is the breadwinner.

She is taking care of them.

She, I don't know if she's in the house, but she's like has to pay for two houses at this point.

Like we're making money.

I'll say what needs to be said.

I feel like everybody moved on far too quickly from the fact that she had to move out of the house with Cruz.

It is seriously diabolical.

And she still pays for her half of the house.

That's so crazy.

insane yeah so let's get into the valley recap and i'll share if there was anything else from watch what happens live that uh janet's b-day party um

i just fucking hate jesse like i hate him so much even though it sounds like he has like like legit reason to believe that michelle was unfaithful to him during their marriage like i literally don't give a fuck like i don't i think he's evil i hate him um when he got caught for saying that thing in the group chat which i need to talk about the losery ass group chat in a second,

and his thing was like, it's a joke.

Like, oh my God, you're such a fucking loser, bro.

Like, I literally hate you.

Like, I hate everything about you.

We were trying to see who the mole was.

The mole, nobody fucking cares about you.

Like, I hate.

And I'm not even like such a ride or die for Michelle.

I just, you can't help but feel so bad for her.

He is a psychological terrorist.

Yeah, he really is.

But like you said last week, she really falls into every trap that he sets.

Like she's so not moved on from him or in a place where she could just be like, oh, that's stupid that he said that.

Like, I'm gonna go be happy with my partner.

Who's so cute?

He is so cute.

And I also, I think there's a chance that she didn't cheat on Jesse.

I think they like, they probably maybe fell in love while Michelle was still married to Jesse, but didn't enter a relationship until after she separated from him.

And like, yeah, she likes his honey.

And she said that they would like go on walks on Runyon Canyon.

Yeah, she wanted to look cute for him, but I, I think it's possible that she didn't cheat on him with physically, but emotionally maybe emotionally maybe and uh like i literally don't care i don't like i don't care the reason why i struggle with the two of them is because i don't know them i can't even imagine how they were ever married it would be like if jackson brittany came on a reality show right now after and i would say who the fuck are how did they ever even get together what even happened between them the idea that like michelle left jesse is so not what you would expect from the two of them because like he's the prick like so what was going on in their marriage that like and she seems kind of like shy and meek a little bit that like she left him.

And then she also said that, like, he wasn't like giving her hugs and kisses or like any sort of love.

Like, so I, I, it's hard for me.

I am on her side because from what I see now, like, he just makes her life impossible and he doesn't even want to be with her.

So, just let her go.

He's like a real evil person.

But I just wish I knew them a little bit better to really understand like the issues between them because I feel like I have no context.

And I'm sorry, Kristen Dodie is so wrong for like her team, Jesse.

She's got to stop.

She's so shit like this.

like, I'm sorry, girl, that is not the vibe.

Like, and when

then Michelle kind of lost me and she's like running around the party being like, let's think of that.

No.

Like, that's your response to right to this heinous accusation.

It's so lame.

It's so childish.

And like, you know what?

Even though, yes, we know production's paying for the house, but it is being positioned on the show as like Jesse's trip, Jesse's house, Jesse's rental.

Like, you can't kick him out.

Like, it was just a bad call.

Like, it was very lusery.

And then when, like, very high school.

And when Jasmine was like, I'm not voting for you.

And she just like immediately broke down.

Like, she's just so fragile.

Like, it's hard to root for someone like that who's like, then she's like, no, I'm going to kick him out of the house.

And she gets like happy and strong.

And then she doesn't get the votes that she needs.

And she's crying again.

She cries.

Be stronger than that.

Or don't like, don't engage.

That's the easiest thing you could do.

Don't engage.

You don't even have to be strong.

You could just fake it, like act like you don't care and then go home and cry.

Why don't you get home?

Yeah.

Now, I was excited because we were getting more of my two favorites, which is Danny and Michelle.

Danny and Nia?

Yeah.

And then I wish we didn't get it because I learned something that I didn't like, which is that he doesn't have a drinking problem, but he's like a very bad drunk.

He doesn't drink a lot.

And when he does, it's like Armageddon.

And he was very inappropriate with two women.

Like, oh, I have to grapple with this now.

Like, are you fucking kidding me?

I was so upset.

Why would someone like that ever drink?

On TV.

Period.

He didn't even do it on TV, the grab act.

Right.

Like with his TV people.

Jason said that was the worst thing he's ever.

He always does stupid shit when he's drunk.

That was the worst thing he's ever done, though.

Can we talk about Jason?

Thank you for bringing it up.

First of all, him having an Android, like

Janet, like stopping him in the doorway, being like, you're a good man for doing that, dropping jacks.

Like, I actually couldn't.

Like, I wanted to die.

No, it's so crazy that this man, Jason,

is on a reality show.

TMJ, this man Jason.

In any other world, like, he'd just be his lawyer self with his android going out of his business.

But like we're watching this person on TV and like he's not a TV.

He's so deeply uninteresting.

Yeah.

And when people say Jason, I'm like, wait, wait, wait, who's Jason?

Who's Jason?

Who's Jason?

Of course.

I literally forget.

I'm like, no, that's Jesse Danny.

I'm like, who the fuck is Jason?

Mr.

Janet.

Mr.

Janet.

He was just like.

He just is, but he's actually, we don't get like normal, boring people like him on TV for a reason, but it does sort of help like give like a normal boring perspective.

And just like, I guess you then can see like relative to a normal boring person, like how crazy these people are.

Like, how do Jax and Jason know each other?

Get along.

How do they know each other?

And this group chat that they say is like 30 people, but like they want it to be super private and there's a mole in there.

Like who do, who do these people think that they are?

And Brittany said on Watch What Happens Live, like every wife and girlfriend has the password to their husband.

Scrolls through it.

They all know about this chat and they all read it.

It is not like under lock and key there's no mole it's open

right there's no mole it's just like common sense no and i'm sure like things about jack started getting leaking because maybe before that there was like nothing like newsworthy happening no like jax yeah is a leak worthy person like people are gonna like send in things about him to like bravo accounts or whatever like jesse

nobody cares yeah

like you and your mole yeah but like is danny stupid or wants to like get the show on the rolling so that was the weird, kind of incongruous part because it existed in the group chat, not on the show.

And Danny brought it on the show and told Luke and was like mad that he told Brittany.

But like you, you told Luke, and now it's out there.

It doesn't matter what Luke does with it.

It's on the show now.

But you thought Luke would not say anything.

And then what at the reunion, we'd all be like, hey, right.

By the time you said that.

So again, I asked, like, stupid or wanted to get the show rolling.

That's what I mean.

It was like a bad episode for Danny.

Like, I'm casting doubts on his PJOM-ness.

I know.

I do think he's a P-Jom, but he does.

I'm really worried that he's not.

I'm really worried.

Like, but I don't know.

I think that he will.

But I wonder why Nia, like, I know that she doesn't control him, but she does.

Like, I wonder why she lets him drink.

Yeah, he has to stop.

He has to stop.

That's just such an easy fix.

Like, you're a bad drunk.

You make bad decisions.

Don't drink.

Bad, bad, bad.

Yeah.

And it's not like he drinks a lot.

Like, they were saying nice stuff about him.

Yeah.

But it doesn't seem like he has a problem.

Some people just don't mix well with alcohol.

One time is too much.

Get daddy a drink.

Oh,

stop.

It's actually like funny.

Also,

Zach.

Benji.

Benji wasn't in this episode, thankfully.

But like him showing up to get ready for the party and like not going.

The most loser, not invited even.

It's not like he's turning it down.

Like, what are you doing there?

I really, like,

I don't know.

And can you explain to me why Kristen feels she's owed an apology from Janet

for the podcast thing?

I guess so.

Yeah.

And like, and what she said on the podcast was that, you know, referencing these people being like, Kristen and Zach didn't care if my pregnancy went full term.

Yeah.

Which I guess like Kristen did not say.

Zach did.

But she like sat by him as he said that.

And she's like guilty by association.

Like Britney has at least condemned him for it.

Yeah.

Nobody's holding Brittany accountable for what Zach said, even though they're best friends.

Right, right.

But no, she was like sitting there and she didn't like speak out against it.

So let Janet to feel like she didn't care either.

Okay.

Which then like Kristen feels like is a big thing to say about her.

But so I actually think that they can clear things up.

And when Zach was like, this is the saddest, it's like, well, why would Janet invite Kristen and forgive Kristen and not me?

She didn't say that shit that you did.

But that's just like a sad spot to be in.

Like two people are fighting, like one person's getting forgiveness and you're not.

And it's so much more than like being invited to the event.

It's like grasping on to relevance in the show.

Of course.

Like, and so

it's like you're not invited and you're already kind of like hanging on by a thread with your Benji storyline.

And now like things are getting thrown through a loop even more.

Yeah.

And like last year, he wasn't invited on the baby moon and he cried.

He cried, Claudia.

At least this year he didn't cry when he wasn't invited to Dave and Buster.

Dave and Busters.

Looked like a good time.

It did look like a good time.

Janet is funny.

like, with, I really didn't, like, understand her obsession with Damon Busters.

Like, I didn't realize how real it was for her, but it's very real.

I understood it because I also happen to absolutely love Damon Busters.

And you love games.

I do love games, and I've loved playing this game with you.

This game of love.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast of the Monday Morning Share.

We deal with the fastest stories you need to know every Monday's Friday.

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Yeah, love y'all.

Bye.