United We Swirl: Thursday, November 7th, 2024

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy, what is it, Thursday?

Thursday.

It should be a Friday, you guys.

It's meant to be a Friday.

It's enough is what it's like.

It's a glitch in the matrix.

I was getting ready this morning.

I'm like, it's giving Friday.

Getting

Friday.

However, it's Thursday.

Make it make sense.

Literally things I can't do.

That.

I think the election, like, it wasn't meant to be on Tuesday.

Like, it's more of a latter half sort of thing.

It's so true.

Like, it should be on Thursdays that we find out Friday Friday and then we can all just sort of like sit with the results and then reset by Monday.

Agreed.

Yeah.

That's not what our founding fathers had in mind.

They said, you'll sit with it on a Thursday and you'll like it.

That's exactly what they said.

That's what they said.

How was your birthday?

My birthday was amazing.

Wow, her birthday was amazing.

You guys, did it have to do with all the positive

sort of accolades on my performance?

Yes, your beautiful rendition of happy birthday, but it was just like everything you could hope for in a day of just like good vibes, good times,

good people.

So sorry.

Someone made fun of me

in the comments.

I saw that comment too.

It was so funny.

I didn't, I don't even know what they're talking about until right now.

I guess I oftentimes get a frog in my throat and I push through.

Yeah, you don't like say, oh, excuse me, and then keep going.

You just keep talking till the frog goes away.

That sort of perseverance is what we love about you.

Thank you.

Well, this was a big frog.

unavoidable.

Frog?

Be God.

Jax,

you got to kiss a couple frogs.

You got to kiss a couple frogs.

So

as I was saying, pre-frog, just like good times, good vibes.

And I just had like a really lovely, beautiful day with my family at home.

And

like nothing crazy happened.

I did get a massage, which is all I really ever want on my birthday.

So that was like a little special treat.

But like Olivia cooked us dinner last night.

So we had dinner at her place.

I didn't have to cook all day or clean up.

She's She's powering through that frog.

What is it?

Oh my God.

I don't know.

Are you a smoker?

No, I feel like that comment jinxed me.

Yeah.

Can you get rid of it though?

Like, how?

Cough, drink.

I don't know, snort.

Like, do what you need to do.

Are you sick?

No.

Okay.

No.

There's always like a low-grade sickness going around.

Am I right, kids?

I mean, are you sick?

In the head.

No, like, there's a cough in my house, but like, I haven't been coughing.

Anyways, frog, be gone.

Hopefully, that works.

We cast a spell on the frog.

I'll just finish my birthday.

Thank you, Olivia, for cooking, even though Brian Gate threatened to come between us once again.

By the way, Olivia texted us yesterday.

She was like, Did you guys talk about me on the toast today?

And we were like, Yeah, Brian, which we gave you a warning about.

And then she was like, And did you talk about me something with gum?

And we were like, Yeah, we told the 25th.

Did you talk badly about me the other day?

No, actually, we didn't.

But because she listened to yesterday and when I said

something about Olivia, you were like, oh, did she hear what we said?

And it just like sounded bad.

So it wasn't.

But she was like completely unfamiliar with 25 packs of gum.

She's like, what are you guys talking about?

Like, she doesn't even know the lore.

I feel like she's blocked it out, honestly, because we talk about it all the time.

Yeah, I think so, too.

But the Brian lore, like, that's probably the strongest.

Brian.

And by the way, you guys, Jackie, stay asleep.

Stay asleep.

Stay asleep.

There is a second half of this joke that came after the fact that we would make fun of Olivia incessantly.

We needed to like, we needed to wake the person up.

So we'd be like, because she would always be like in defense of this story.

She'd always be like, I don't even like Brian.

I don't like the Backstreet Boys.

Like, I always liked Insync.

You can't be right for that.

Right.

So we said, okay, you liked Insync.

You ready?

Hold on.

Brian.

JC Shizay.

So Brian would put her to sleep and JC would wake her up.

Kind of a dream.

That is a 90s girl's dream.

I'm so glad you had a great birthday.

I'm so sad I couldn't be there with you.

What did you make of your gift?

Now, let's rank everybody's gifts.

Mine was obviously first.

I got Jackie a wallet.

She got me a beautiful bag.

And it's like, I'll never like show like, oh, this is what everyone got me, but there'll be signs.

There'll be signs like in how much she wears it.

So I don't know.

Like, you'll see, you'll see the newness coming through.

We're going out to dinner tonight, actually.

Not to like.

We're really going to miss you, but it's just like girls' night.

I'm a girl.

Sisters.

Sisters and

sisters who are here.

We're going to dinner tonight and I think I'm going to try and wear your bag.

Yeah, so it's like a bag.

It's like a clutch wallet.

So it could be used as a wallet.

You could throw it in your big bag or you could wear it on the night as like, yeah, it's pretty sick.

And so would you say it's the best gift from the sisters?

I would.

I like, I definitely.

That's not right.

It's why?

Why is that not right?

You can play favorites.

It's not favorites.

It's just a ranking of gifts.

We never do that.

Okay, I could do it.

Like, let me see what everybody got me last year and I'll rank them.

Okay.

You got me that bag.

What did Margo get me?

Oh, something I returned.

Okay, so you won because you got me something that I loved.

Margot got me something that I returned.

And Olivia got me something that I never wore.

So.

Okay.

Well, actually, all my sisters got me really beautiful things.

Of course, like Claudia's bag is just the tits.

But everyone actually got me like a little bit of Hermes.

So it's a very Hermes birthday.

And I'll leave it at that.

If you see me with some new belts and shoes.

Don't come looking for me.

You'll know where they came from.

Well, so glad you had a a great birthday.

Thank you.

So glad I was able to be there in spirit.

Yeah.

So glad we were able to make it through a day that's like mostly about me.

Yeah, exactly.

And we cruised right through.

I meant to ask you before we started recording, like, what are the stories?

Are there any?

It's a great question.

And let me just tell you,

I'll rise to the occasion.

You always do.

It's a tough week.

Yeah.

But this is where boys become men.

And I've been in this job for a long time and i know people like to complain about my story selection but it's times like these that you bitches will be grateful manner maketh man yeah because i was even thinking like even my own media consumption whether it's tv or tick tock it's only election stuff and like yeah

what are the celebrities doing now you'll have be able to appreciate my flair for the obscure it's true i will be able to appreciate like your food news your business your

it's actually like not food and business The story's actually Deese.

And also the thing about the celebrities, and of course there's so much election news, but like so many celebrities were like involved.

If they were being present, it was like for the election.

So like they were all sort of like off doing that.

It really left a small pool for like non-partisan celebrity things.

You mean bipartisan celebrity things?

And or non.

Yeah.

Actually, yeah, non.

Yeah, anything but partisan.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, this, the toast is non-slash bipartisan.

Like, those are our pronouns, non-slash, bi.

The toast is anything but partisan.

It's so true.

All are welcome here.

I've seen

I've also seen like a lot of discourse regarding influencers and the election, like people's response either being too much, not enough.

And I think my, and it makes sense that my TikTok algorithm like definitely thinks I'm a chronically online person and like these crazy takes is like, what are they?

Where were they going?

They think that like, this is what I want to see because just by the sheer amount of time, like it's a logical conclusion to get to.

So I've really seen like some wild stuff in the last couple of weeks.

And you can count on, I mean, I'm sorry, in the last couple of days, you can really count on the toast to just like be here doing our thing.

Yeah.

And that's consistent.

That's what we're going to do.

And I know like a lot, like I've been receiving a lot of praise.

People are like, I love it.

And then people are like, you guys are gross.

Okay, fine.

Like, I literally, you can't please everyone.

I just want to do my job.

Please.

If the anything but partisan strategy like doesn't work for you, A, B, P,

then the toast is not for you.

And the good news is, there are so many partisan things out there for you.

We are anything but partisan.

I love that.

We're just for the swirlies, like all swirlies.

We are united, we swirly.

You title, title.

United.

We swirly.

United, we swirl.

Yeah, that's better.

United, we swirl.

Because it's a verb.

When you think of swirly, like the word swirly,

what do you picture?

Um,

like maybe that blue emoji that's like a

swirl.

Yeah, I always or like a little swirl.

I always, always picture an ice cream cone.

Like, maybe I'm just fat.

Like, I just, because you, like, when you go to like Tasty Delight or like any place that has vanilla and chocolate, you're like, I have a swirl, right?

You say that.

Yeah, vanilla chocolate swirl.

Yeah, swirly.

When I think of a visual representation,

it's different than a swirly.

It's not.

When I think of a visual representation of the word swirl slash swirly, like I think of an ice cream cream cone.

But now I think of a gorgeous girl who's having a great day.

Yeah.

That's what I think of now, who's got a song in her heart and has joy to share with the world.

And joy in her eyes.

Yeah.

That's beautiful.

And who's anything but partisan?

By the way,

people have been so funny in the comments because somebody was like, dare.

No, wait.

Like, I have a dare for you guys.

Dare you to give actual advice instead of telling people to break up with their boyfriends?

Like, I can't.

Okay.

I actually, I need to discuss that comment because I feel like yesterday I did a rare thing in saying, like, maybe it's time to hit the eject button.

I feel like I typically, I'm in, like, I'm typically last to say that, especially when people like are married.

I'm a work it out sort of person.

And then I feel like I get flack for like giving men too much credit or benefit of the doubt or like having too low of a bar.

But it's a really good point.

Seriously.

I can't win.

You can't.

And I can't care.

Maybe if some lesbians could write into us about their problems, like that would make it a lot easier.

Yeah, but then I don't think we'd be the right ones to be giving advice.

Oh, please.

I have two lesbian best friends.

Don't start with me.

Please.

I know.

Please.

Please.

I have tons of lesbian friends.

Sure, sure.

Sure, you should.

Oh, you know what I'm doing tonight?

No.

Brian actually invited us to this event that I'm actually so excited about.

It's like a Joan Rivers comedy show tribute with like, you know, Nikki's laser, like lots of like top comedians.

And all the proceeds go to Joan's charity in

Gaza?

No, no, it's God's.

In God's will, we deliver.

In God's love, we deliver.

Thank you.

Not in Gaza.

In God's love, we similar.

And I'm so excited.

One, because I haven't seen The Swirlies.

And two, like, I just, I don't know why I'm acting like I'm going to see Joan Rivers.

Like, she's not going to be there.

But the vibes are like, the vibes are high.

Am I wrong for feeling like you should be up there shaking that thing?

You are not wrong.

Okay.

Okay.

Even though you know, like my favorite thing to do is sit.

Like the last place I would want.

I wouldn't be looking forward to tonight if I was like if i was like working no i want to sit and like have a drink and like be with my friends but it's like comedians doing like comedy in the elk of joan rivers i think it's you know how they do like kennedy center honors where like most of the times the person is alive but they have people come and like do your songs or your shtick and like talk about you i think it's very much like that yeah like

I'm glad that you're going and supporting, but I'd rather see you up there shaking that thing.

Okay.

You know what came up on my Time Hop the other day?

Not Time Hop.

By the way, iPhone literally put Time Hop out of business with their memories thing.

By the way, I still use Time Hop.

Shout out Time Hop.

Do you know what came up on my Time Hop?

Do you know what I'm about to say?

No.

Do you remember when we like got a tour of Joan Rivers' old apartment?

Yes.

And the air conditioning wasn't on.

It was so hot.

Yeah.

We have like all these pictures inside of her house, like really weird.

I just was reminded of that.

That's like an underrated thing that we've done.

Yeah, things we did.

That walk through an apartment.

Yeah, that's no longer owned by Joan, but at one point was and hasn't been renovated.

Slay.

If you watched her documentary, which you know I have a piece of work, we recognize a lot of it from her documentary.

Yeah, and we walked it.

Yeah.

A guided tour.

It's kind of a sick apartment.

It is sick.

Half of it was like maids' quarters.

Yeah, it's very gilded age.

Yeah, and it's, she, like, had the whole thing enshrined in gold.

It looks like...

Mar-a-Lago.

Like, it's like...

Yeah, like Charm Tower.

Thank you.

Gold.

You know what I meant.

Thank you.

Mar-a-lago is designed by Ms.

Marjorie Post.

Well, I was just telling Ben that when we were watching the election, you know, I have like not a lot of fun facts, like trivia, but I had one about Mar-a-Lago.

And literally, Ben finished my sentence.

I guess I've said it before.

Like, I literally have one fun fact.

I'm like, do you know that Mar-lago?

Ben knows Marjorie Post?

Well, I must have told him when I was reading it.

And then I was like, do you know who built it?

He was like, yeah, the Post family.

Like, how the fuck do you know that?

The fuck?

I know.

I was really shocked.

I was like, have you been reading?

No, he's like, no, I listen when you talk, which is such a lie.

I don't believe that.

It's just, yeah.

I just feel like, I feel like it was like the,

he happened to care because it was the Post family and like, that's like, no offense, like food and cereal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, but it was just like, if you had just said Marjorie Post, like that wouldn't have resonated.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like a strong woman.

Yeah.

A strong businesswoman.

Trailblazing Nepo baby.

Let's don't get into it.

Okay.

So that is the thing about Marjorie Post.

Well, I love that book.

And she did do like amazing things.

Like she totally invented freezers.

Or a Nepo baby.

She was, you know, talk about a foot in the door.

Like she, she was the CEO of like this major company and she literally had no qualifications.

Yeah.

But she like did, that's always what we say about Nepo babies.

It's like, I don't mind nepotism, like if you're worthy.

Oh, she was worthy.

But you know what?

And she made the business like even bigger than it was.

We actually, this is a perfect segue because Redheads just came out today and I brought up that quote that's like, the first generation is the risk taker.

The second generation is the caretaker of the.

business and the third generation is the undertaker.

And typically that's funny.

Like the first one builds the thing.

The second one like manages it.

Fine.

And then the third generation just ruins it for whatever reason.

I like that.

Thank you.

Marjorie Post was a double risk.

Like she doubled what her dad had done.

She didn't just like manage it.

She made it bigger and even better.

So credit to Ms.

Post for that.

And her dad was like an amazing inventor, whatever, but he wasn't like...

He wasn't a big thinker, you know?

And like low-key, like the thing that made him successful, like he did Steel from Kellogg.

So, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And Marjorie also like had a very swirly way about her.

Oh, and she was like, that girl knew how to live.

Like she was spending money in a way that it needed to be spent.

Right.

But she was also like working all the men in her life.

Like, yeah.

Like every man was like a stepping stone.

Like every husband, her dad, like she was just on her way.

Yeah.

Got to be the Russian ambassador.

That is definitely, I don't know if that was this year, my favorite book that I read this year.

That was not this year.

It wasn't?

No, we like didn't read this year.

I have read literally three books this year.

I've read 14 books and like the Redheads, we did 10, 11.

Right, right.

So that's not good.

Yeah.

But anyways, New Redheads episode is out.

God of the Woods, amazing book.

Read the book.

If you're a reader, if you're not a reader, Rebecca did like a big recap at the beginning of the episode, so you can still enjoy an episode with the Swirlies.

I would love that.

And it's like, it's like the number one podcast of Margaret Washre.

Right.

If you're ever looking for like an insight as to what's going on in our younger sister's life, which by the way, I am all the time.

That is the place to go ever since her, you know, defunct podcast never came back on the airwaves.

Right.

So like it's Margot Wacheray's podcast.

You might want to listen.

It's Margot Ashray's podcast, and we're just sort of like listening to it.

Yeah, and I'm just sort of like editing it and marketing it, but it's

just work for her.

You're just like an assistant.

Well, I'm curious to see what you've cooked up for us in the form of stories.

Well, let's get into the fast five stories that you need to know.

And the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Hill House House Home.

You're probably familiar with the Hill House Home Company.

They invented the viral nap dress, which is the most flattering and comfortable dress with their signature smocking.

Celebrities like Jacqueline Folet, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo, Mindy Kaling have all been spotted in Hill House.

Their Hill House dresses are super easy, very versatile.

You can wear them just to run errands.

You can really jazz them up and like go out to dinner.

I saw you wore one on your birthday outing to get a massage yesterday, which is the perfect thing to do.

I wore a nap dress yesterday.

It was so comfortable, gorgeous, and amazing.

It's on my stories linked if you want it, but it's also from Hill House Home, and they have it in so many different prints, and it's the cutest thing ever.

They also, obviously, they're known for their nap dresses, but like, do not sleep on their robes, their pajamas.

Like, that same swirly pattern that's like really cute, very cottage core, is now in their pajamas.

I have two Hill House robes.

It's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

The other exciting, yeah, the other exciting, and they're both monogrammed.

The other exciting Hill House news to share is that several of the toasters on staff have convinced the bosses to take our discount code from 15 to 20%.

So it's really significant.

Use our code toast20 for up to 20% off your order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com.

Our code is toast20.

That's T-O-A-S-T20.

Again, that's code toast20 for 20% off your order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com.

It's exactly, it's spelled exactly how it sounds.

H-I-L-L househome.com.

Code toast20.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Bolin Branch.

So after long days of decorating, hosting, celebrating, nothing feels better than a restful night's sleep in the softest, most luxurious sheets.

And Bolin Branch signature sheets are just that.

They are made with the finest, 100% organic cotton.

They get softer with every single wash.

They will immediately change your sleep and bring you the dreamiest bedding experience.

Jackie and I, like, you can't trust us on everything, right?

Like, you know, sometimes we speak out of turn.

That's what people say about us, allegedly.

One thing you can trust us on is like knowing how to make a good bed.

And Bolin Branch has been a cornerstone, a tinpole of our sleeping habits for the last, how many years?

Since my first apartment.

Yeah.

I love Hill House Home.

Jackie and I both have the signature.

Excuse me.

I love Bolin Brad.

I mean, they do also love Hill House Home.

Jax and I both have the signature hem sheets.

My bed at Jackie's house has the same sheets that I have at home.

They really do get better with every wash.

And I had the same pair of,

call it a pair of sheets, set of sheets, for many, many years.

And I only recently got new ones because I wanted to change up the color.

They're still in fantastic shape and I use them in my guest room now.

They get better with every wash.

They're really buttery, soft, and they're also very temperature-controlled.

Like I'm a very warm sleeper, sleeper, even if it's freezing.

My literally sleeping like 60 degrees, I still can get hot.

And so having sheets that are really breathable, that will regulate my temperature is a non-negotiable for me.

And that's why I really never went back after switching to Bolin Branch.

Obviously, it's a great gift too.

They have great bed accessories.

Their throw blankets are super cute.

Gift you and your loved ones a better night's sleep with Bolin Branch.

Right now is their best offer of the entire year.

Shop their cyber event for 25% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets.

Just head to Bolenbranch.com.

Use our promo code toast.

That's B-O-L-L-A-N-D Branch.com.

Promo code is toast, T-O-A-S-T.

For a limited time only, exclusions apply, so do see their site for details.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Game Time.

GameTime app, everybody knows, is the only place to buy tickets.

They have a new feature on Game Time that everyone's obsessed with.

It's called the Game Time Picks.

It makes getting tickets for your favorite live events even easier.

Game Time Picks filters out the fluff to show you only incredible deals on great seats, so you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets.

So there are so many reasons why Game Time is superior when it comes to buying tickets, especially online.

Game Time Picks, which is a curation that makes it easier to save more on sports, concert, comedy, theater, is one of those reasons.

But also they offer all-in pricing.

So you can toggle this feature to show you the total upfront with no surprise fees at checkout.

I think a lot of us have been through great wars buying tickets.

By the time you get to the very end, your price has doubled because of all these hidden fees.

Well, not with the all-in pricing feature.

You also are going to get seat views.

So they're going to show you a panoramic view from your seat in the app before you buy.

They offer the lowest price guarantee or they will credit you 110% of the difference.

And the Game Time ticket coverage, your purchase is covered with the most flexible customer service policy in the ticketing industry, so you can feel good knowing that you're protected.

Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time.

Download the Game Time app, create an account, and use our code Toast for $20 off your first purchase.

It's also just a great app to have on your phone downloaded.

Like if you're, you know, feeling whimsical and you want to buy something, like always having Game Time downloaded.

Terms apply.

Again, create an account, redeem our code Toast T-O-A-S-T for $20 off.

Download Game Time today.

What time is is it?

Game time.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Our first story.

You're welcome.

You are welcome.

I think you mean you're welcome.

I think I mean thanks, Turk Time.

Yeah, I think that's what you meant.

Our first story, someone who's making news despite the election cycle because she's got a job to do, is Miss Ari Stilm.

So Ariana Grande went on Las Culturis podcast, which is hosted by Bowen Yang and

the other guys.

His friend, Matt Rogers.

Matt Rogers.

It's a huge podcast.

And I was actually wondering, like, she is doing so much.

She's doing all the press for Wicked.

Like, no stop is too small for the queen.

And I was like, oh, she'll probably do some podcasts.

And this actually is a perfect, makes perfect sense for her because Bowen is her close friend.

It's a super popular podcast.

So it's not like she's just going on some like niche random podcast.

So she doesn't have to get asked hard questions.

Yeah, no, it's like, it's, it's appropriate.

It's acceptable.

It's safe for her because he's such he's such a ride or die friend he is the one who was like started the whole thing about like telling people to shut up that the rumors

about trust sorry the rumors about the infidelity are so not true he's like i can't say what happened but like just know what you all think is a lie and she doesn't speak on it and she lets people tell lies on her name like he was so fiercely defending her so obviously she needs to repay the gratitude by going on his podcast yeah so it makes a good deal of sense.

And

she's talking about her music, her wicked, what's next for her she's you know it's a long-ranging interview so check it out but she made a couple of headlines talking about her plans for the next 10 years of her career okay she said the next 10 years of her career will scare the absolute out of her fans Yeah, because I feel like Ari is not in the mood to be a pop star, like for a little bit.

She's taking the Lady Gaga Express.

So this is what she said.

I'm going to say something so scary.

It's going to scare the absolute shit out of my fans and everyone.

I love them and they will deal and we will be here forever.

I'm always going to make music.

I'm always going going to go on stage.

I'm always going to do pop stuff, I pinky promise.

But I don't think doing it at the rate that I've been doing it for the past 10 years is where I see the next 10 years.

Well, that makes sense because the rate that she was doing it was nutty.

But here's what she said, and this makes a lot of sense.

She said, I think I love acting.

I love musical theater.

Reconnecting with this part of myself who started in musical theater and who loves comedy and it heals me to do that.

Finding roles to use these parts of myself and put them in little homes and characters and bits.

and voices and songs.

So she said, it really does feed me in a different way than songwriting.

I'm writing about my own pain because it's just like constantly reliving that one thing you wrote the song about.

So I think she's really got the musical theater bug again because of Wicked.

And I think like we're going to see Ari sat on Broadway for a while.

Yeah.

And you can feel that too.

And I do appreciate that she's being honest about like bus club and other club bus album tour.

Like that life is horrible.

And

she in particular really struggled with it.

Like there was a time where every story on the toast was like her breaking down and crying on stage and it clearly wasn't good for her and she was doing too much.

So the fact that she's able to recognize that and then find something that she really loves that does fulfill like her fans will will get fed and they can have music and i can i can this feels like she's telling the truth and i could have guessed this i and even when we were talking about like grammy nominations and stuff like she i don't like i don't think she cares like i think she's like a little moved on from it and this is how she started she before she was even on nickelodeon she 13 the musical that's how she started the musical on broadway where i got my start and then she went on to do victorious which was musical theater yeah singing acting, comedy,

and feet.

Lots of them.

Lots of feet.

So, this to me is congruous with who she is.

And I can see why it's so much more attractive to her at the moment when her personal life has been picked apart.

So she's not really feeling like she wants to give her heart away.

She also talked about her album positions and the reception to it.

And how, when the album came out and the first singles came out, she felt that the reception was kind of like lukewarm and people

weren't loving it.

And and so she pulled back some of the promo she had planned to do I think it was even like a music video for POV she didn't release it um

and I feel like now she said in hindsight now people love that album and like they're like that's the best thing you'll ever do but like at the time she put it out and she kind of felt like people are like oh thanks no thanks yeah yeah so I think that must be like such a shitty feeling but and it did kind of happen with yes and people were like what is this

But I it didn't happen with Eternal Sunshine.

I don't think no, no, I don't think it happened with Eternal Sunshine either.

But I also...

But Yes And is from eternal sunshine yeah it was the first thing she did after like being kind of offline for a while yeah and then everyone was like this is what and like the music video now i my only concern is that like she's and we we've known this about ariana even before she got cast in wicked she had been you know talking for years about how like glinda was the dream role it would be the best thing that ever happened to her if they ever made it to a movie she would do anything in her power to get that role and so i only worry that like she's having this musical theater renaissance because this role is so important to her and like she won't feel this way if she gets casted like the greatest greatest showman on Broadway do you know what I mean yes but I think there are probably other roles she could feel this way about now that would be being made into movies or revivals on Broadway like well what's think about what's on Broadway should she be Fannie Bryce no

she shouldn't she should there are roles that are like clearly carved out for Ariana like when she did um hairspray live and she was

like that's obviously like a role same with alphabet no not alphabet excuse me glinda Single Blonde on Broadway.

She could do.

But then there are also probably like Broadway shows similar to like what Nicurl Scherzinger's doing that are like new and buzzy and she wants to get into the scripts.

Yeah, maybe she wants to like have like a dear of Enhansen moment.

Go have fun with that.

Yeah.

Even though I feel like she's maybe they're casting for SpongeBob on Broadway.

Maybe.

Maybe she could do it with Sandy.

She could be Sandy.

Do you think this is his influence?

Like, because he's a Broadway theater kid and like that you become like the guy that you're dating.

It's like, no, but it's also like a,

she's, she's from that world, but it is like a little bit like a cult.

Like you start hanging out with theater kids and all your whole life is theater, theater, theater, theater.

I think it's actually like probably also that.

Definitely wicked.

This is who Ari is, but like...

Her man's is a musical theater guy.

And like you do pick up hobbies of your man.

Look at Claudia.

She's golfing.

It's so true.

Your partner like should in a healthy relationship like influence your choices and like your like how you spend your time.

Like I mean Ben is always doing things that that i like right and he secretly likes them too so i think that's also made her realize that she wants to do more of it yeah i like this journey for aria it feels very authentic like she's not forcing this and and i think from uh it's hard to stand out especially like in

if i was a pop star in this day and age and like

it's just tailor this tailor this tailor this tailor that like I don't know if I would want to try so hard either.

Like maybe like, so I actually think it's a good move for Ariana because it does really separate you.

Movies are so elevated, very Lady Gaga.

Like, when we think of the pop girls, of course, Lady Gaga is one of them, but she's so elevated.

Like, she goes to can film.

Like, she really is, has done an amazing job of like putting herself in another stratosphere as an artist and a an actress.

And, and I think that

Ariana Grade is taking the Lady Gaga route, and I think it's smart.

I also think if Wicked has the success that it probably will have, that she'll be able to write her own ticket and like go to studios and say, Let's make this into a movie starring me.

And they're going to really want to do that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is Legally Blonde the musical being made into a movie?

We report some of these stories like this, I guess.

Legally Blonde 3 or 4 or whatever.

Prequel.

The L Prime Show is coming.

Okay.

Well, I'm looking forward to Wicked again.

I guess I have to say that every time we talk about it.

Did I tell you about my tickets?

You did.

Tickets, tickets.

Tickets, tickets, tickets.

Yeah, exactly.

By the way, that's just another example of like us never letting go of anything.

Tickets, tickets, tickets.

Do you know what that's from?

What do you mean?

It's not from anything.

It's that thing in Times Square.

What is thing in Times Square?

By the way, tickets, tickets, tickets is that thing in Times Square.

It's like a red booth that you can go up to and like got get last-minute really cheap Broadway tickets.

And it's TKTS, period, TKTS, period.

TKT.

Tickets, tickets.

That's not why I say it.

You want to know why I say it?

Okay, but I just want to let you know, it is why you say it because whoever told it to you told it from the times square thing maybe 10 years ago margo posted on her snapchat she was in times square wow and she really forget nothing she took a selfie and she put on like the sticker of like times square and she captioned it tickets tickets tickets she did

she had to find it i think i have it because i like i thought it was so funny and then i

she was obviously in times square yeah so maybe she did it first because

of the booth.

Do you not know about the booth?

No, I guess not.

It's like this little hut in Times Square.

Let me just text Margo quickly and say,

do you have a screenshot of

tickets?

That is so funny.

I need to like now start.

When I say something and I know it's like something from an old inside joke, like I'm going to start sharing the stories because everyone really likes it.

And like like, it seriously cracks me up.

It cracks me up too.

It's also like a window into your mind.

Like, when you were like, do you know what tickets, tickets, tickets is from?

Yeah, it's like a New York institution.

It's just like a word three times.

But it's actually like a deep family lore for you.

Yeah, no, I thought it was like peak comedy from Margo.

Got it.

I mean, it was in her own way.

It was.

Okay, next story.

This story also cracked me up.

Okay.

Luke Combs says he wanted to crawl into a hole after Tracy Chapman pointed out his fast car cover mistake.

Oh my.

So during the middle of a recent concert, he recalls a particular mistake that still follows him.

In a TikTok from the concert, he can be heard telling the crowd that one conversation with Tracy Chapman led him to realize he incorrectly sang the lyric on the record, on the recorded version of Fast Car.

He said,

still got to make a decision instead of we got to make a decision.

Okay, that's not a big deal.

He did the wrong word.

So that was the first time that I knew I recorded the song incorrectly.

It was her telling me that because I remember when she said that I wanted to crawl into a hole.

He said, luckily she was awesome about it and I think about it every single time that I sing the song and I will think about it every single time I sing.

Is he singing the right word or the wrong word?

Well, so last night he sang the word.

He tried to sing the right word.

But he said every single time he performs the song, he thinks about the fact that he recorded one word wrong.

And every time he sings a song, you think about the fact that he uses she, her pronouns in the song.

Right, which also cracks me up.

But also, this story is even funnier because he didn't change those pronouns because he didn't want to

change a hair on the head of the song.

And it turns out he actually changed a word in the recording.

So he should have just done

a checkout boy.

It's not the one that he should have.

If you've listened to the song, the original song is written by a woman, so he just sang it exactly as it sounds.

And he refers to himself, like in every chorus, as working in the market as a checkout girl.

And Jackie thought it was so funny.

Like, it just cracks me up every time I hear it.

And it speaks to Luke's integrity.

This is like a very very famous song that needs to be protected.

He didn't want to change anything about it.

Meanwhile, he's fucking it up over there.

And it just makes me laugh to think about every single time.

He performs this song every night all over the world, and he'll always think about that.

And that's just fucking real.

That is real.

At least it's not like super detrimental.

Still got to make a decision.

We got to make a decision is really the same message.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's just like, even Luke Homes has worries.

Yeah, but when you think about how many people like work on a song and and like it's just really crazy that it was,

that it got published incorrectly.

When they knew they weren't changing anything.

Right.

I feel like that does not happen a lot.

Right.

Leave tonight or let it die this way.

Still gotta make a decision.

That's literally you and your Tesla.

That is me and my Tesla.

And we have been having a fantastic time.

I'm really like at a crossroads with my Tesla.

Her lease is almost up.

My lease is almost up.

And I just like, I have no problems with my, I love my car.

Like, I know I'm supposed to get a new one.

I wish I bought this one.

Then I wouldn't have to like have change.

There's no sense in looking back.

And then there's like this person on my shoulder like that's just whispering like, get a cyber truck.

And who's that person?

You?

Yeah.

And like, I seriously, like, I really might.

Bitch, I might.

Listen, test her.

Test her?

Try her.

She'll do it.

Because I was like, I already tested.

Yeah, and I use the wrong word.

Sorry.

Can we actually just move on?

Like, I fucked up the whole joke.

Anyways, like, I haven't made a decision on my car.

And now that I got my dent out.

You still got to make a decision.

Now that I got my dent out and I took off that sticker that was on there for two years.

Like, it's a brand new car.

Why do I need a new car?

No, every time, and it's only happened three times.

Every time I get a car wash, like a real car wash where they vacuum the inside.

Oh my God.

Like, you should see me.

Well, I'm in the passenger seat, like, cruising down.

I'm like, who should we pick up?

Anybody need a ride?

There is something so special.

And actually sometimes on TikTok fall into like ASMR videos of car detailers who do like really, really detailed cleanings.

And just like you watch it, there is something so special about like a true car wash.

Not just like, you know, suds on the outside.

I don't even care about the outside, the inside.

Like the vacuum of the floor and like the screen being like windexed.

It's so special.

Interesting.

I have something crazy to say.

You've never gotten a car wash?

I've never gotten a car wash.

I know Olivia took my car to get washed once because she was driving it a lot and she just like wanted to like do something special for me.

But I've not like experienced a car wash.

I don't know if that's like weird.

Like when you use that car to drive around your kids and I feel like back seats, like there's always like Cheerios all over the floor.

I don't give them Cheerios in the car.

Sometimes like if they sounds like a choking hazard.

It is a choking hazard, but sometimes they might be having something that's got a little crumb.

But I clean it out.

Like I clean my car.

It would be, I'm sure if I, if I got a car wash, like there's stuff in there, but like, I don't know.

It doesn't seem like it's reached that level of critical necessity but i but like you make it sound desirable i've got a big screen i've got fingerprints you should by the way

up adulch it's your birthday get a car wash but not like a drive-through one no no and so what do you do when your car is being washed you sit in the lobby Oh, that's a good question.

Bet is usually the one who does it.

In the city, like you just walk and like go get a snack.

I think also in the suburbs, like people come to you to there are mobile services.

Actually, I do have someone's information.

Okay, maybe I'll do that.

But, like, I don't want to fall even love, even more in love with my car when I have to give it back.

Okay, just think about it.

Our next story: a little more country music news.

What number?

Three.

Oh, great.

The CMA Awards are announcing some performers that are sure to get everyone excited.

Well, that remains to be seen.

Post Malone.

I'm excited.

Shabuzi.

Shabuzi.

I'm excited.

Shabuzi.

Teddy Swims.

You know what?

We don't talk about Teddy Swims.

We don't talk about Teddy Swims.

Control.

What was Teddy Swims doing recently where I saw him?

You were with Teddy Swims?

No, like on TV.

He's always doing stuff.

And I think...

As a person, I think a lot of celebrities really like him because he's always getting invited places, collabing with people.

Oh, he did a Kelly Clarkson, Kelly Oakie duet.

Maybe that's what what you saw no I was watching one of the award shows and like every 30 minutes they'd cut to Teddy Swims performing somewhere he's really talented and like if you need someone for a collab who can like just carry their own weight and like sing he is getting tapped a lot he's and that song is really good when you're not next to me

And he doesn't sound like anybody out there right now.

Like he's a very unique sound.

So it sounds like you're excited about him performing.

Although, would you consider him country?

No, so they are intentionally like crossing over due to all the crossover success of the year.

Like Post Malone is performing with Chris Stapleton, their song California Sober, other big names that will be performing, of course, Lainey Wilson, because where is she not performing, including the Victoria Cedar Griff Fashion Show?

I, well, she wasn't there.

I listened to Lainey Wilson actually this morning getting ready.

That song, Hang Tad, Honey, I'm a Walla Running Down a Dream of a Long Lost Highway.

Like that shit's so good.

And not me like always like speaking on lainy wilson's name not in like a positive always in a positive way but not in like a high positive glowingly positive let me tell you that bitch can sing that bitch can write a song like she's so good like try listen to long lost highway and try not like going to the gym like it's just like a very pump-up song i'm gonna really spend some time trying to get into lainy wilson because there's like really no reason for me not to be into her kind of like not to compare the two but kind of it was reminding me of Zach Bryan like something that's just like passing me by I know I would like it I just like huge phenomenon I'm not in it.

And I don't know why Spotify is not like trying to get me in.

And let me tell you something.

Lainey Wilson, she gets accused a lot of being an industry plant.

And I definitely think she has, you know, planty vibes within the country community.

She's got roots.

She's got roots.

But in like the real world, I don't feel like her music ever gets pushed on me like on the radio or on Spotify.

Like she really has this very grassroots following and she's super, super talented.

And her music is very good.

Listen to Hang Tight, honey.

You will love it.

Okay.

Put on my to-do list.

No, song it's that it's a it's like the taylor swift thing the song that you know that like you've heard is like her worst song watermelon moonshine like it's just everywhere and it's like enough like if you knew her other songs like they're not the same i'm cracking up i don't even know that song that sounds like you know this one i've got a heart lack a truck

yeah and it's like not even a good song meanwhile it's her biggest baddest song it's everywhere all at once and like that's what people think of when they think of lainy wilson that's why when she wins like entertainer of the year you're like excuse me?

Exqueze me, watermelon moonshine.

And then that other song, Grease.

You need to listen to Grease and Hang Tight, Honey.

Okay.

Okay, if I can stop listening to Patterns by Kelson Ballerini.

I was listening to Patterns and then this morning I went back to Sabrina Carpenter's short and sweet because I listened to it like too much for like two weeks and then I was like, I kind of hate this album.

Then I took a break and now I came back and it's so good.

It's so good.

It comes up like one every three songs.

I'm always listening to some like playlist for me on Spotify and they just, you know, every time I'm ready to change the playlist, it's like, who knows?

I'm going to let you make me junior.

Juno.

I just, I love my Sabrina.

I can't tell you guys that enough.

We know.

And thank you.

We can't hear it enough.

It's just, it's so rare for me.

What happened with Sabrina never happens to a girl like me.

It's so true.

Like you're kind of having with Sabrina what like a lot of the world had with Chappell.

No, where it's like I, oh, so many of the artists that I love, not like the huge ones, but like people that I really just invest in, like they always, they do fine.

fine, but like to have this global takeover of like someone that I've always been really afraid of.

It happens for me.

It's so true.

Like you very much operate in like the Gavin deGras type of.

Instead, Little Mix splits up.

And they never, and they never fully conquer the U.S.

And by the way, if you are a pop star, aspiring pop star or a current pop star and you want long-term success, like just make sure Jackie doesn't like your music.

Like that's why I know Chapel Road is going to be huge because like Jackie's not participating.

But if Jackie like rides or dies for you with the exception of Sabrina Carpenter, Carpenter, like it's pretty much like a curse to your career.

Yes, except I just want to say Sabrina broke the spell.

Yes.

Do you think she's the exception or that like the spell has been broken?

We'll have to wait and see.

It's too soon to call.

Yeah.

Much like Arizona.

It's too early to call.

It's too soon to call.

Anyways, other performers that are not crossover, Turk Spentley, Thomas Redd, Ashen McBride, Luke Bryan.

See you at the CMAs on November 20th.

Thank you for announcing this today.

I don't know what else to tell you.

That's That's

pretty soon, November 20th.

Yeah, that'll be fun.

Love having somebody to watch.

I'm in my cable era.

Have I told you that?

Like, I've been watching Jeopardy every single night.

Like, now when I open my TV, my go-to app, it's not a Netflix, it's not a Macs, it's my YouTube TV.

Like, I'm just like, what are people watching with commercials?

And you know what?

As somebody who like needs to be stimulated on my phone whilst watching.

You actually need a commercial break.

I need a commercial break so I can scroll TikTok.

Like, actually, I think that Gen Z is sleeping on the traditional cable model.

It's because what's old is new in breaks.

What's old is new again.

That's really good.

And I've been like watching the voice, and every time there's like a made-for-TV, like, like, special, and with the holidays coming up, you know, there's going to be so many.

Like, this is my time.

Yeah, that's really, really funny.

Yeah.

I'm telling you, if you too are like somebody who cannot watch something without ending up on your phone and like missing the entire program, check out Cable.

Highly recommend.

This new thing called Cable.

Live TV.

It's huge.

Are you ready for our next story?

Our fourth.

If it's the fourth that's brought to you you by Robek, it is.

The best way to describe Robek is best fit, best feel.

They recently launched a new women's line.

It's comfortable.

It's fabulous.

And if you like being comfortable while also still looking cute and you can go out and about and run into like a coworker and not feel embarrassed, then Roeback is definitely for you.

Especially with the weather getting cooler, we have been living in their fleece.

It has this very cute, cropped, loose fit, and it's a perfect fleece fabric to keep you warm.

I've been wearing it every time I walk Romeo or just like running outside for a little snack.

Robek also just released their new Clarity Clarity Jogger and half-zip hoodie sets, and we are obsessed.

It's made from a really nice cotton polyester blend, so it's both breathable and soft.

The half-zip hoodie is cropped, and the joggers have a very cute mid-rise fit.

Really become a go-to layering piece for before and after workouts or just you know, being on the move.

And Robak's OG Swift crew necks, tempo hoodie, jogger sets are the best, softest pieces of clothing that we own.

Whenever we just want to be comfortable, we wear these because they're not

ugly, they're not like restricting, they're just super comfortable.

And I feel like sets like crew neck sets, jogger sets have become a apparel category of their own these days.

And like Roeback is really doing it very well.

And I think a lot of people don't know about Robek men's.

It's hard for a man to like wear comfy cozies without looking like a slob, but it's like, oh, get a job, right?

Roback is the best place to shop for your man.

If he wants to be cozy, if he like goes out, you know, on jogs or

excuse me, like running errands and you don't want him to like look like a slob on the weekends, check out their men's pieces.

They're really fabulous.

And if you haven't already, try Roeback.

Use our code Toast for generous 20% off your order.

That's r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com, 20% off all hoodies, joggers, fleeces, and more with code Toast.

Today's episode is brought to you as well by Open Phone.

Running a small business means you're wearing a lot of hats.

Your personal phone becomes your business phone, and before you know it, you're juggling customer calls day and night.

As your team grows, it becomes impossible to manage with your personal phone number, and that's where OpenPhone comes in.

OpenPhone is the number one business phone system.

They'll help you separate your personal life from your growing business for just $15 a month, the cost of a few copies.

You will get complete transparency and visibility into everything happening with your business phone number.

So Open Phone works through an app on your phone or your computer and it integrates with HubSpot and hundreds of other

systems.

They use AI-powered call transcripts and summaries, so you'll have a summary of your phone call with action items as soon as you hang up.

If you miss a call, automated messages are sent directly to your customer, meaning that you will never miss an opportunity to engage with them.

It's affordable and very easy to use.

So whether you're a one-person operation and you need help managing calls automatically, or you have a large team and you need better tools for efficient collaboration, OpenFoam is a no-brainer.

Plus, they've won multiple awards by G2 for software reviews and they are trusted by over 50,000 businesses.

Right now, they are offering our listeners 20% off your first months when you go to openphone.com slash toast.

That's O-P-E-N-P-H-O-N-E dot com slash toast for 20% off six months.

Openphone.com slash toast.

If you have existing numbers with another service, OpenPhone will port them over at no extra charge.

That's openphone.com slash T-O-A-S-T.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Bihart.

Jax, can you tell us a little bit about that from One Mama?

Yes, Baihart is an infant formula company that's on a mission to make the best formula in the world.

So why don't more infant formula brands use the latest breast milk science?

Why don't more infant formula brands use organic, grass-fed whole milk instead of skim?

Why don't more use certified clean ingredients?

These are great questions and Byhart wondered the same thing.

By Heart is an infant formula company that's obsessed with nutrition.

Its next generation gentle recipe was designed to deliver clean ingredients, high quality nutrition, and proven benefits all in one formula.

So yes, Bihart is on a mission to make the best formula in the world using the latest breast milk science and created with clinically proven, easy to digest infant formulas.

Made with organic, grass-fed, whole milk certified clean ingredients and features a patented protein blend that gets the closest to breast milk.

So in all facets of my life, getting organic products, grass-fed dairy products, whole milk, certified clean ingredients is so important for my family.

So, that there is an infant formula company who is prioritizing this as well is so major.

And if you are curious about Buy Heart,

Buy Heart is available in Target stores nationwide.

Check them out in store today, or you can find BuyHeart at buyheart.com, redeem your welcome offer, 20% off orders of $100 or more, at buyheart.com/slash podcast with code the toast 20 for a limited time.

So that's B-Y-H-E-A-R-T.

Additional terms and conditions apply.

Code the toast 20.

Thank you, Jacqueline Folet.

I think you mean thanks the Jax 20.

No,

that's not what I meant, actually.

I think that's what you meant.

No, I don't think so.

Our next story is a little more major music news.

M-M-N.

Dave Portnoy is revealing a major twist in the rap battle against Zach Bryan.

So Dave Portnoy's War of Words with Zach Bryan is just getting started.

Dave said there was more to come after his diss track about Brian was taken down due to copyright issues on Wednesday.

So here's where I...

I get that feeling when I saw it at the very end, when they're singing How Lucky Are We, like that was a direct infringement.

So the reason why it's taken down, they're saying not to protect Warner Brothers artist Zach Bryan, but because Josh Richards is signed with Warner Brothers and he's put out this piece of music, but they essentially own him and they've taken it down due to that.

Now it's also just coincidental that Zach Bryan is signed with Warner Brothers.

Okay, wait, Warner Brothers?

Sorry, Warner and Warner Music.

Okay.

Josh Richards has a record deal?

Josh Richards is signed with the label and Dave said they essentially own him.

So that is the reason why it's down officially.

The thing is, you can be down officially from like the official YouTube, but the video's everywhere.

Like I saw it on Twitter, on TikTok.

Like, so it exists and beyond, I thought my, I didn't even watch Dave's whole video.

I just knew that they had actually infringed on copyright in the How Lucky Are We Parts.

So I thought for sure that that was a legitimate takedown.

So this is what Dave said.

Fine, you think that's just it?

You think we were going to put, just put smallest man away?

I will write 10,000 diss tracks.

I will go die in the booth.

I will put the headsets on and come back spitting bars twice as hot.

Maybe we do Dave's version.

I hear Brie may get in the booth and do her version.

We will figure this shit out.

It may take 24 hours, but the more Warner Music Group acts like little fucking pussies and Zach Bryan, little fucking pussies, the more they worry about this shit, the worse it's going to get.

You're in the mud.

You got mad.

I'm going to have to get in the booth.

I thought it was going to be one and done.

I don't care.

I'll keep spitting.

So now he's raging.

Yeah, no, now he's like officially activated, which is almost worse.

Like, seriously, if you ever, if I ever find myself like on Dave Portnoy's like list of people he hates, like actually, I'm leaving the country.

Like, I don't want that.

I don't want the smoke.

I can't handle it.

Like, please, just know, like, I don't want it.

Um,

now, Warner Music, like, this reason, Josh Richards, like, sure, sure.

I imagine Zach Bryan had something to do with it.

Like, they really, I could see him, like, not caring to a certain extent, but like the things that were said were pretty major allegations, especially about the STDs.

That's sort of a rumor that sticks for life.

So, I imagine he had something to do with this as well.

But I'm so sad for this podcast.

Brianna posted on Instagram yesterday, like, just recorded, like, my first episode.

Like, don't think I've ever been so vulnerable on a podcast in my life.

Like, I'm actually shaking.

It'll be out tomorrow.

And I'm sure

PFFs.

Yeah, like the way I'm sat with popcorn.

I'm going to watch it live.

I think I will too.

Full recap tomorrow.

But now I feel like this is becoming an even bigger thing.

Even though I felt yesterday, like that music video was like a big thing.

Like, I don't know why it was, to me, it was a huge deal.

Like, they, they left no crumbs, you know, as the kids would.

As the kids would say, they ate.

Now that they've taken it down, I'm sure they worked really hard on that.

So that really angers me.

It wasn't on a big budget production.

It was.

And now they've made Dave like really angry.

So I think there's going to be more.

I mean, he said Re might get in the booth.

I would love that.

Ms.

Chicken Fry on the ones and twos.

Miss Fry herself.

Oh, also,

I discovered why they call her Brianna Chicken Fry.

And like, it does make me hate her.

Like, when she was in high school or whatever, she got made fun of for like having having legs that were so skinny.

They looked like chicken fries.

Like, okay, then like they called me drumstick.

Like, I can't.

Like,

that's so sad.

And, you know, she took her power back by making it her famous person name, Brianna Chicken Fry.

We love that.

But, like, okay, so me and this person have nothing in common.

Yeah, yeah.

It's hard to relate, but it's hard to relate.

And that was definitely like, you know, hard to hear.

That it's like a nickname from being too skinny.

Yeah, classic.

Actually, not

classic for me at all.

I know I did see that too, and I'm moving because we just chose to ignore it.

Yeah.

But I do like calling her Brianna Chicken Pry, so I'm grateful for that.

What else would you call her?

Brianna Lepaglia.

That's not her name.

Like Brianna Chicken Pry Lepoglia.

Imagine how her family feels.

They came to this country with their name.

That's true.

Lepaglia Erasure.

No.

They're the chicken pie family.

It's so true.

I mean, I guess that maybe is how my family feels.

Like, I did away with Austria and I'm the Lou family now.

Oh, my God.

When I was picking you up from the airport and I wanted to make you a sign, I put this in.

Mrs.

Lou.

I almost wrote Mrs.

Lou, but I just like.

It's so funny.

I didn't want...

I didn't want to go too niche.

So I wrote too loud.

And I might not like immediately, I mean, I know you, but if I just saw the sign, I wouldn't like immediately recognize, like, oh, that car is for me.

Turdy, I would.

So I just did turdy, but I pondered Mrs.

Lou.

Yeah.

I mean, by the way, feel free to start calling me Mrs.

Lou.

I actually really like the sort of respect.

Yeah.

Actually, I forgot to talk about something kind of major that happened to me.

I was recently asked to be someone's matron of honor.

Oof.

Oh, and sister.

Yeah, and of course, you know, she meant it in a lovely, respectful way.

And if you are married, like you become a matron.

It's not an age thing.

It's a marriage thing.

It's not about having old maiden shoes.

No, it's not about having old maiden type of shoes.

But when she said it, I looked behind me.

I was like, is your grandma here?

Like, who are you talking about?

That's right.

And yeah, so I'm honored and I accepted gratefully, but she will have to change it to maid.

I'll just get divorced for the wedding.

I'm honored and offended, but then you wouldn't be in her wedding party if you're not married to her brother.

So true.

You'll never, you'll literally never be her maid of honor.

No matter how you're going to be aware of that.

I just don't know why they had to make like a special name for like girlies who are married.

It's so offensive.

But like, why is the term matron so offensive?

Like, where?

Because at one point it was maid and matron.

Like, just two words.

Like, where does the hurt come from?

Historically.

You look kind of matronly today.

But, like, why?

There's the hurt.

There's the hurt.

What about you?

Look kind of maidenly today.

Does that hurt?

Doesn't sound great.

So, who historically put the hurt in that word?

I don't know, but keep it away from me.

Seriously.

I'm a maid of honor.

You're a maiden.

Old maiden type of honor.

Are we ready for our fifth and final story?

Yeah.

It's a little how the sauce gets made casting news.

Oh, I thought like actual sauce.

I said, ooh, food news.

No, one of our favorite story types here is almost casting news.

My absolute favorite.

And The Office.

Ellen Jegeneres as Phoebe on Friends.

Right.

The casting director for The Office is talking about who almost got cast to play Michael Scott, the casting process, but she also has casted so many shows and movies that like are critically acclaimed.

So she's

I gotta meet this woman.

Right.

She's talking a bit about her process and the history.

The herstery, if I may, because she went.

She's not the first Michael Scott.

Michael Scott.

Because she went on Office Ladies.

So that's where this all went down.

Making it major hurster.

And she reveals that NBC originally wanted to go for some big names when casting Michael Scott.

Steve Carell isn't.

Steve Carell was.

However, at the time...

Was he unknown?

No,

he was meant to be on another sitcom called Come to Papa, which would mean that he couldn't audition for the office.

But then after four episodes, it was canceled, which gave him the freedom to do the office.

But in that time, the other names that were floated were Philip Seymour Hoffman.

I don't see it.

And Paul Giamatti.

I see it, actually.

Then she said, um,

she was so jaded that she thought neither actor would be interested in the show because at the time, nobody did TV.

Comedy was the bottom of the barrel.

But they wanted the new series to pretty closely reflect the original British series.

Right.

Where like people actually look like actual office workers.

right?

That really was like the brilliance of the show, like how regular, degular, no one was wearing makeup.

Like it was just really between the wardrobe and the people, like it was very

common.

Yes.

She said Nancy Perkins, who was the head of casting of NBC Universal, always knew Steve would be a top choice for this.

We brought in the best of the best.

Everybody was a different version of Michael Scott that could have worked.

Patton Oswald could have worked.

Bob Odenkirk could have been amazing.

Those were two others.

Bob Odenkirk would have been great.

Mostly because he's like a very good actor.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then also they were talking about um angela's part she said that she originally auditioned for pam and that catherine hahn was also in the waiting room that day oh

as pam as anyone or even if she wound up getting the okay wait angela wouldn't have been good as pam like not right but Catherine Hahn as Angela would have been great because she has this like bad attitude the whole series.

That's funny.

Yeah, really funny.

She also.

Catherine Hahn is extremely underrated, actually.

I feel like she's grossly undercast in things.

I agree.

She's extremely talented.

Yeah, she is.

And I just feel like Catherine Hahn is like just always so close.

Like she even was supposed to be Joan and then it was canceled.

She was almost Angela and then she wasn't.

She's like 50 feet from Stardust.

Like she can't.

Imagine how she feels.

I know.

It's kind of not similar to, but reminds me of Judy Greer.

Yeah, but like Judy Greer is a character actress.

But she didn't intend to be.

Like she was out here trying to be a star.

Some people like

pursue acting like for the sole purpose of like not being a star, but like getting work, paying your bills and like not being famous,

acting because that's your chosen career.

Correct.

And so that I don't think was Judy Greer's intention, but she really is like.

She wrote a book and she titled it Something Really Funny.

Like, I don't know where you know me from.

Because I guess people come up to her like, where do I know you from?

Yeah.

I know her from 13 Going on Third Night.

Me as well.

So this casting director, her skills are legendary amongst comedy fans.

She's helped put together the ensembles for shows like Freaks and Geeks, Arrested Development, Parks and Wreck.

Perfectly cast show.

Oh, wow.

Brooklyn 9-9 and The Good Place, as well as movies like Bridesmaids, Ladybird, and Barbie.

She also said

that one of her secrets to casting success is that she remembers the people who didn't book the job and then calls them back in.

So she noted that Kristen, Skull, Zach Woods, and Aubrey Praza were all brought in for the office.

Woods ultimately joined the series late in its run while Skyland Plaza were cast in other shows she worked on, Parks and Wreck.

Right.

So I guess like getting an audition with this queen is like kind of a...

Yeah, and maybe you're not right.

I don't know when it's going to happen.

Maybe you're not right for that, but like if you're good, she'll remember you.

So that's a pretty interesting.

Freaks and Geeks was a perfectly cast show.

And then, oh, you said Veep also.

Veep is, and especially for like those roles, we know them now, the actors, but the people who like played her administration and her cabinet, like people I had never heard of, these no-names, like they were so perfect.

This show, by the way, it might be time to re-watch Veep.

Like, I rewatched it twice.

It seriously is the best show on TV.

And every time I watch it, like, I'm reminded that it's up there.

When we were talking the other day about like Desperate Housewives versus Veep is up there.

Yeah.

Did you see Sophia Franklin dressed as Selena Meyer for Halloween?

I did see that.

Like, it's so perfect.

It's a deep cut.

No, and

one of my favorite things about Veep, and I remember saying this when I re-watched it a couple of years ago, is like, it's a political show, right?

It's like all about

Hollywood, D.C.

and like DC culture.

And they really never explicitly become like overly political.

So really everyone can enjoy it.

It's so good.

Yeah, it is.

So

if you're looking to break into the business, there's some tips.

Yeah, and I am looking to break into the business.

And you'll always be looking to break into the business.

Hold on.

Can we do it?

Can we do a game really quickly?

What, you want to audition for something?

Yeah, but we need like a script.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, send me my lines.

Practice scripts for actor.

No, I just Googled.

Okay.

I just googled audition script.

And I used the first one.

Text it.

Or.

Oh, God, they make this so hard.

Like.

Okay, what's like a famous scene that we can reenact from like the Titanic?

The Titanic.

Are those the sorts of roles you want?

Drama?

Dramatic.

Yeah, for sure.

Okay.

Who would you have wanted to be in that?

Rose?

I could see you as Rose.

Who's Carpathia Stewart in Titanic?

I don't recognize this page.

Carpathia.

Hmm.

What is she saying?

Okay.

What's Carpathia saying?

I don't know.

I found a new page.

Okay, this is like a really tense scene between Jack and Rose, okay?

So you would want to be Rose if you were auditioning?

Well, I just want to see who has more lines.

Because I'd want to be.

I want to be Jack because he has more lines in this one thing I sent to you, okay?

And I actually don't have a lot of acting experience.

Like, I actually don't know if I'm a good actor, okay?

Okay, I'm looking.

Tell me when I'm reading for Jack.

All action.

No, you're reading for Rose.

Jack has all the lines.

Wait, you want to be Jack?

I don't give a fuck.

I just want the lines.

An all-girls camp summer play?

Yes, go.

Ready?

Say action.

Action.

Rose, listen to me.

Listen, Rose.

We literally don't have a line.

Okay.

Winning that ticket was low-key the best thing that ever happened to me, girl.

Girl, you don't even know what that ticket did for me.

Oh,

you're just having trouble breathing, it says.

Yeah, okay.

Actually, and I want to start over.

I don't like the angle I took.

I didn't like it either.

It was giving the yossification of history.

I'm sorry.

I'm just like really struggling to be serious right now.

It's like embarrassing to be serious.

It's embarrassing to act.

Okay.

But be serious.

Don't look at me, okay?

Rose is futzing with her hair.

I'm not looking at you.

Rose is futzing with her hair.

Rose, listen to me.

Listen.

Winning that ticket was the best thing that ever happened to me.

It brought me to you.

And I'm thankful, Rose.

I'm thankful.

Oh, so my, sorry.

My voice is trembling.

You must do me this honor.

Promise me me that you will survive, that you will never give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless.

Promise me now and never,

ever let go of that promise.

I promise.

You could do better.

Come on.

I'm not, I'm not.

I'm dying.

Oh, right.

I'm just reading lines with you.

I promise.

Okay.

Never let go.

I promise.

I will never let go, Jack.

I will never let go.

I mean, could you be more like uninterested in Jack?

That's when you run lines with people.

Like, that's what you do.

It's so Johnny Drama, this whole thing.

That was really something.

Oh, sorry.

Inscene.

Okay, now that we're out of the scene, that was really something, Claudia.

How did you think I did?

I thought you were amazing.

Let me tell you something.

And I'm sure I've told the story once, so I'll make it quick.

You guys know, like, one time I auditioned for a cameo in Lawn Otter SVU, and I didn't get it.

It was like seriously the worst thing that ever happened to me.

And I only had like three days' notice before the audition.

And so my agent was like, listen, you got to get a

new, an acting coach.

Like, if you want this, like, take it seriously.

And so for three days, like, I literally met with this acting coach and Tribeca in her apartment every single day.

And like,

I can tell you in an honest, and I know, like, you know, I'm always like hyping myself up.

Like, I do not have the talent for acting.

Like, it, it's so dumb.

Like,

like, oh, I'm pretending I'm Superman.

I'm literally not.

Do you know what I mean?

And I have such a firm grasp on reality.

And you, and I feel like people who are really into acting, like, they are dreamers, you know, and I'm not.

Like, I know what's going on.

Yeah.

I'm glad I'm not.

I'm so self-conscious.

Like, the one time I audited.

Oh, and so when I went to the actual audition, it was like at this like casting couch type of place, like in like the Garmin District.

And you go into the room and there's like a camera and just one person.

And you're supposed to like act in front of this.

You have to be mentally deranged.

Yeah.

You have to be mentally deranged or like seriously give no fucks.

And I'm sorry.

I care a lot.

And so

I think an actual crazy person.

Yeah.

I think the person in the room was told, like, like, this is an influencer.

Like, give her like a chance.

Like, she's not going to kill it.

So I don't even think he was recording for the first one because it was really bad.

He's like, can you just do it one more time?

And like, I did it better the second time.

She's from Maysville.

That's not much bigger than Pensacola.

Pensacola.

She's from Pensacola.

That's not much bigger than Maysville.

Maysville.

Yeah.

It was like about this like, you know, like big back hillbilly who like killed her mom or whatever.

That's a slur.

Oh my God, it is.

Sorry.

Yeah, I did read Demon Copperhead.

We don't say Hailbilly.

Okay, she's like this big back

freak.

Like she actually is a mole woman.

And when I saw the episode, like the girl is so crazy looking because she literally like lives in like a hut with no electricity and her mom has cancer and she just like like takes her mom to the bathroom three times a day.

Like that's literally her full existence.

And so she like coordinated a cyber attack on an influencer where she like convinced this like pro wrestler to like attack.

It was like this crazy thing.

And she was so frightening looking that I thought they actually didn't cast me not because I can't act but because I'm like far too beautiful.

And not crazy enough to get into a room and like.

Yeah, and act.

So.

Well, if you're an actor out there,

hats off to you.

That is.

Take your meds.

No, it's a crazy person thing to do.

I was so embarrassed.

I was like,

it's just, you really, you can't properly do it if you, like,

if you have two feet firmly planted on the ground.

Do you know what I mean?

But it's a great thing to do if you don't.

And it's so hard to, like, not, like, and mind you, I've auditioned once.

It's so hard to like not like zoom out and watch yourself from above, being like,

what the hell are you doing?

Like,

it's like fantasy play pretend.

And I just can't, like, I'm far too

real.

I'm too real.

She's real by Simon Van Kempen.

Yeah.

So that's my brief

history.

Yeah, and it's not for me.

I can tell you that much.

Yeah.

Well, I'm glad that you can see it that way.

That's how Claude sees it because your audition was seriously not good.

And let me tell you just now, like, I was trying.

Like, I was actually trying.

That's really sad.

I know.

And that's our our show, you guys.

So thanks so much for listening to the Tosa Monday Morning Show, where we deliver the Fast Five Stories in each and every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast and more podcasts to be found.

So it's SpotifyTune Stitcher, public video.

IRDKS box, all the places away listen podcasts find us with Toastmasters and Five Star.

View about a beautiful Sunday, wickedly talented.

We are.

And we'll see you on the next one.

Tomorrow's Friday.

So we're almost there.

Seeing you about you in a room.

Jackie.

And I wish you could have seen the room.

Like real prison cell vibes with just like this one like

she's from Pentacle.

And I'm like acting crazy.

Oh, and by the way, I needed to have an accent, like a deep, deep southern accent, which I could not master.

I was all over the place, like Russian, Jamaican, Southern.

Like, I just really couldn't nail the accent.

And I actually think when he asked me to do it again, he said, like, forget the accent because it was just like distracting.

Right.

Maybe you moved from New York to the woods.

Yeah, they would have changed it if I was right for the role.

Right, right.

Which I wasn't.

Anyways, love ya.

Bye.