My Boyfriend Travis: Thursday, September 12th, 2024

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Toast and Happy Thursday.

Congrats on making it to the latter half of the week.

Hey, Jack.

This week is slowly chugging along.

Don't you find?

I want to say something crazy.

Like it's back to being long weeks, long days.

This week is giving perfection.

It just is.

Oh, really?

It's zooming by for you?

The rate in which the days, like the

RPP, rate per passage, the rate in which the days are going by.

Like, it feels so fair that today's Thursday.

I don't feel like it's too fast, too slow.

Like, every day has come and gone in an orderly fashion.

And I'd like to thank the universe and God for making it that way.

Not too fast, not too slow.

Look at you, Goldilocks.

No, I mean, obviously, like fast is great, but like I have felt at the end of each day, like tired, not overtired, like productive.

It's just, I think, if I have to live in a world in which there's a five-day work week, if they all could be like this, you know what?

It's giving gratitude.

I'm feeling like, okay.

That's so great.

The good news is, is that technically, they all are like this.

They're not.

Like, stop.

I know.

I know you like to say all weeks are the same length.

They're literally not.

It's that tic-tac sound.

Are all marathons the same length?

I fear that's common knowledge.

Like, it is, but they're not.

Because I'm sure you could run a marathon that, like, you killed it, and then there was a marathon that seriously?

Yeah, no, no, no.

You couldn't even do half.

Then there's extenuating factors, and you have to factor in the factors.

I think that's kind of the whole point of factors.

So that they should be factored.

I am doing an experiment on today's show.

I've just kind of like had enough of

being actually crippled at the end of this show from sitting on my like chair too hard.

I'm sitting on a hemorrhoid pillow.

Okay.

Now, I don't want to start any rumors.

I don't have a hemorrhoid.

I just thought the pillow might benefit me.

Have you not tried that before?

Because I see two pillows in my studio that I was like, why is there a silk garjee paragy pillowcase in my studio?

And then I remembered like you were sitting on it because we were having tushi problems.

No, that wasn't me.

I never sat on a silk pillow.

I wouldn't, that's like, that's counterintuitive.

You'd slide right off.

I'm just, and I also then have a,

what's it called?

Like a Euro sham.

Yeah, the Euro sham was me, but for my back, not for my ass.

Okay, okay.

I'm just saying.

I wish you luck.

Please let me know how this experiment fares because I too could use a little help in the tush department.

The pillow in the description like said good for

people who sit a lot, which is literally me.

Not even just in this job, but in this life.

Yeah.

So we'll say.

Let us know.

Keep us posted.

If my spirits like feel like they're even, I feel like sometimes during the show, I dwindle.

You know, by the end of the show, I'm like, I have nothing left to give.

If I don't get up and move, like my back will break.

I feel like, let's see how my stamina is today.

Just our butts have gotten to such a bad place that like it's actually unsustainable.

Like what's going to happen if we don't make a change?

We can't keep living in this sort of pain.

Like soon we're going to be podcasting on like, you know, people have like treadmills.

In the hospital.

People have like treadmill desks where they're like walking and working.

Ergonomic.

We're going to need like a standing desk.

I mean, like, I don't want to get to that place.

I don't want to get to that place.

I love sitting.

And the fact that

my body is rejecting sitting, that's not going to work for me.

Sitting is one of my favorite hobbies.

That would be so crazy if we stood for the entire show.

The shows would then just become shorter and nobody wants that.

But like, we want to sit down.

We'd be tired.

We'd be like, all right, let's wrap this up.

Yeah.

I'm just saying, like, it's not sustainable, the pain that we're feeling.

Speaking of pain

and sustainability,

the VMAs were on last night.

We have so much to discuss discuss in today's episode, but also like lots of other news as well.

Yes, lots of other news, but lots of VMAs recap because I watched the majority of it, I think.

And I have so many thoughts.

I want to say, I feel like in VMA's past, I have really felt like super old and really not like I knew.

I'm like, who are these people?

And I was happy for the VMAs that it seemed like a lot of big people showed up.

And they had like a big night.

I feel like all the subs were like, oh, are you going to the VMAs?

Like, it was

probably, probably because Taylor was there, but there were a lot of like good names and I felt like it wasn't like loser con.

Agreed.

It was cool con and as akin to VMAs of your as it possibly could be.

Agreed a thousand percent.

It was like, I was impressed.

I feel like we've said this a lot.

Like there are so many award shows and it's like the pop girlies have sort of this unwritten rule where like one big star goes to every single one and never the twain shall meet.

And you know, with the Billboard music, American music, people's choice, ladies' choice men choice like there are enough to go around yeah but it felt like everybody like who was in town available and promoting stuff decided to show up there was like multiple stars and i loved it yeah i really liked it too and a lot of the artists were people that i've probably that i've heard of but don't know like chapel rone for example so i was really excited to like evaluate all the artists and i wanted to watch until chapel rone like to really see what she's about.

And it was really nice to see.

And I just want to say, overall, my thoughts are incredibly positive about the show.

Like I really enjoyed it.

Yeah.

And I think, obviously, Taylor being there makes it so legitimate, right?

But it being...

Katie Perry, too.

But it being Chapel Roan's like first televised performance, like when there's been so much like hoopla, it was also a big deal.

I feel like the VMAs kind of crushed it.

They did.

And I don't think I've said that in many years.

So I think like there's this moment right now for the pop music girlies like that we haven't had in maybe 10 years.

Like not since the days of like when Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Nikki Minaj, like everyone was like doing the most and i feel like it was like they've been doing it for the last 10 years but now you have this like crop of new talent and there are so many big girlies that you could just see are at the beginnings of very illustrious careers like sabrina like chapel like also like olivia rodrigo there are just like a lot of up-and-coming artists she wasn't there was she no no no i'm just saying in the music landscape in general yes so you It had that same energy of like, oh, what's Lady Gauga?

Lady Gaga's wearing a meat dress.

Like Chapa Rob is doing a medieval crossbow thing.

yeah yeah yeah no it was exciting for sure yeah and there's a lot of like talent who also they still need shows like the vma so it was like good for them good for the viewers and just reminded me of of those times tate mcrae tate mcrae

there were also a lot of dynamics at play i was really shook to see sabrina camila cabello and sean mendez all in one building and then it got me thinking about sean mendez um I feel it's very crazy what what happened to Sean Mendez.

Like, is Sean Mendez like still famous?

like I know he's famous but does he work he was singing his song last night was he oh I missed I missed his performance

he saw yeah he was giving like John Mayer I was mostly on my phone

it wasn't like for me but he was he had a song in his heart there was just like a time where like everything Sean Mendez did made news and musically personally and now I just feel that's no longer the case and of course that's not a sustainable level of fame for anyone I just feel like Sean Mendez is I'm gonna say it like kind of in his flop era I feel like you think about Sean Mendez more than the average person because I don't like think about him.

I don't worry about him.

I feel like if Sean Mendez

Sean Mendez is not in the news is because Sean Mendez don't want to be in the news.

So like I feel like whatever Sean wants, Sean does.

Okay, this is like a theory I have about Sean.

You're right.

Maybe I do think about Sean more than the average.

And a lot of it was inspired by probably one of the worst documentaries ever put out.

Please don't get me started on his Netflix documentary.

I feel like Sean Mendez got took a really toxic place with fan, with fame, right?

It happened really quickly from Vine, and it was that type of fame where like it was lust from teenage girls.

And it was just, I think, I think maybe he didn't like it and he became like a little diva.

Like, I don't want fame.

And so, like, the fame went away.

And now he's like, wait, come back.

Okay.

That's what I think.

Okay.

I

have no thoughts because I don't think about his.

Because you're average.

Because I don't think.

Yes, in my consumption of Sean Mendez.

I think I'm below average, actually.

I think so too.

And I'm okay with that.

Like, I didn't didn't think for one second, I can't believe Sean, Camilla, and Sabrina are there.

Like, oh, well, that's crazy.

Sabrina and Sean were fake.

But they weren't.

Did you listen to the album?

Like, they, like, he literally ghosted her and then went back to Camilla Cabello in Palm Springs.

Remember that picture that, like, was ever really explained to us?

Like, they had been broken up for a while.

He had recently been seen with Sabrina Carpenter.

Next thing you know, he's at Coachella with his hands around Camilla Cabello.

Well, it turns out we had the same experience with that photo that Sabrina Carpenter did because she literally thought they were dating.

Yeah.

Sabrina is just so moved on.

Like, I feel like the way she feels about her past is the way she feels about her old music.

Like, I'm sorry, it's not mine.

Like, don't expect me to talk about it.

No, it's like embarrassing.

Don't expect me to talk about it.

Like, that's a different girl.

She's such a star.

She is.

She was incredible last night.

So we'll save the VMA's recap.

That's our first story.

So we'll save all of our thoughts for that if we possibly can.

It's going to be a chunky review.

There was a lot to unpack.

Yeah.

Performances, wardrobe, awards,

Katie,

Katie Perry.

It was a big night for big Katie.

You just said, yeah, like, tell me what movie this is.

Yeah.

Luckily.

Legally blonde.

Cool.

Duh.

Duh.

Okay, wait.

I saw a game on TikTok that I think we should play.

Okay.

So it's my favorite words.

Who uttered those immortal words?

Literally, mate.

So I'm going to take my headphones.

We're going to decide on a movie.

I'm going to take my headphones off and you're going to give like a quote to the audience, like a classic like movie quote from this movie that you know that I can think of.

And and then I'll put my headphones back on and try to guess the quote that you guessed, okay?

So, we're coming up with the movie together?

Yeah, like let's do an easy one to start.

Mean girls, okay?

Okay.

I'm gonna take my headphones off.

You like give a quote, like a classic us quote, and I'm gonna see if we think of the same one, okay?

Okay, I just did the first quote that popped into my head, which is, you can go shave your back now.

Bye, Jason.

Okay, I'm done.

Yep.

Well, she heard me.

But I feel like you took like a long time to say it, and the one I have was a little bit shorter, but I'm gonna say it anyway.

Okay, you can go shave your back now.

Bye, Jason.

That was it.

No way!

Okay, now let's do the same one, but you take your headphones off.

What movie should we do next?

The classhouse.

I literally don't even know a single word from that movie.

What's like a classic Steeny movie?

We could do like Legally Blonde.

Let's do Clueless.

Okay.

Wait, let me think.

What's like a.

How do I know when to come back?

I totally paused.

That's not a good one.

She's not going to get it.

You're good.

Honestly, I felt really like under the gun.

I'm like embarrassed of the quote that I chose.

Like, I don't know.

Like,

I'm sorry.

I'm going with you're a virgin who can't drive.

No.

What?

I totally paused.

That's what I chose.

Fun game, right?

Yeah, super fun.

It's more fun when you get it right.

Should we do one more?

Fine.

Okay, what's the movie we should choose?

Sleepover.

Okay.

But I need a moment.

Oh.

Julie.

Julie Corky.

When we're good.

Okay, wait.

Ready?

No, no, no.

I didn't say that.

Okay.

Okay.

Julie.

I don't want to hear it.

Julie Corky.

Okay.

Are we good?

We're good.

Julie.

Julie Corky.

Yes, of course.

Why does it take you so long to say three words?

Because

I'm talking to the people.

Oh, you're hosting a podcast.

Like a solo podcast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the first time I said it, I was laughing too much, so I needed to say it again.

Yeah.

Julie, Julie Corky.

Obsessed.

Okay, fun game.

She was just having.

I feel like we're like playing stupid games so as not to talk about the VMAs, but like it's what we need to talk about.

But it's what we need to talk about.

So now without VA.

Because I have three words to say.

VMA.

My boyfriend Travis.

The Very Megan Awards.

The Very Megan Awards.

Or I think it was the Voluptuous Megan Awards.

That's what she said.

Honestly, she's a queen.

Now, without further ado, to do, to do, here are the queen.

Okay, do you not agree that she's a queen?

Like, why did you just like can we get into the recap?

Okay, okay.

Because if I start going down this path, like, yeah,

why don't you yell at me?

Why don't you yell at me?

You yelled at me.

Do you not agree?

Why do you yell at me?

I want to say, I thought she was a really great host.

Me too.

Further thoughts coming after the break.

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Our first story.

As stated, 2024 VMAs took place last night in New York.

The stars were out.

I also love that the VMAs are always in New York.

Like, thank you.

Yeah, Taylor Swift, Megan Thee Stallion, Chapel Rohn, Sabrina, Katie Perry.

Let's talk about, should we start with performances, awards, or outfits?

Outfits.

We'll go like in order of how it happened.

So let's start with Taylor's outfit.

As she was the woman of the night, and I think her outfit was most discussed of the evening.

She wore

a Dior plaid number.

I thought she looked great overall, head to toe.

I thought she looked really good.

Like the dress, it's probably not what I would have picked off the rack for her, but I thought she crushed it.

I thought her hair and makeup looked like so beautiful.

And all together, I really liked it.

I know a lot of people didn't.

One thing about Taylor, she's never going to wear the thing that we would have chosen off the rack for her.

Like the obvious choices, like one of my favorite Instagram accounts, You Belong in This is like always putting Taylor in, like styling Taylor with like what's the hottest fashion things going on.

And she's never going to be like the obvious like fashionista.

She's always going to do her own thing.

She has a real sense of personal style which i like and while i again would not have picked this i agree with you overall it was a look i think people were initially like what the

but it's important to remember the vmas is not the oscars and it's not the grammys it's meant to be fun like when you think about the meat dress right that was at the vma's

brittany and just in all denim look that was at the vmas the vmas is kind of like circusy in its in its outfits there's really no dress code and people always do the most do the most wacky things that they would never do on like a red carpet for the grammys or something a little bit more sophisticated so keeping that in mind it's not my favorite look she's ever done.

It's my favorite glam she's ever done.

And so many people are like, oh man, she's had work done.

And the lack of critical thinking really bothers me.

Like Taylor was at the U.S.

Open not three days ago, looking like her regular self.

Nobody said at the U.S.

Open, what do you think?

She got a face left in three days.

Like, please.

She just had like maybe a new makeup artist or a totally new makeup look, but a little bit more glam than she usually does.

She usually does very soft, romantic.

She had like contour, smoky eye, like her jawline was contour.

Her makeup was so sick.

Yeah.

And I loved the hair.

It looked good throughout the night, the hair and makeup.

And she changed into two more outfits.

She wore a shorter dress during some more of the ceremony.

And then she had an after-party look.

And I thought, I really liked all three.

I liked the three of them together.

And like, I liked this look better than her Grammy's look.

I think she looks better than she did at the Grammys.

What was her Grammy's look?

That like.

When she announced TTPD, it was like white.

White.

Yeah, I didn't like that one.

But then when she came out with the music video and you saw like it was, she was literally wearing the TTPD aesthetic.

So it served a purpose.

Now, I think a lot of her outfits serve purposes.

Like when she, before she announced midnights, I think it was at the VMAs, when she wore that blue dress with stars, it looked, it was literally midnight, you know?

So what is she telling us here?

Is she going to the Highland Fling?

Like, I'm not going to be able to do that.

Is she wearing tefillin and going to convert to Judaism?

I would love, would welcome her with open arms.

I also thought, like, she looked like a gamer.

I know it sounds crazy, but she looked like a character in Fortnite.

That's how like the girls in gamers like dress.

Maybe she's doing like a big Fortnite concert.

That's like a thing.

Yeah, I do think there's probably a message here because it's a choice.

And only time will tell.

It's a choice, and it's such a departure.

Like, it's so different.

Yeah, but I just want to say, I think she looks great.

She, okay, let's just actually go artist by artist.

I think that would be easy.

Next, we have Sabrina.

No, no, I mean, like, as a whole.

Oh, her evening as a whole.

Okay.

Right.

She won a bunch of awards.

No surprise.

Like, when you're the most famous person to show up in an award show, VMAs is that type of award show where I do believe it's fan voted and Taylor probably won with the first one.

She has the most fans.

But it's not like, I don't believe it's a really, truly merit-based.

Yeah, Yeah, like Fortnite won Song of the Summer.

It was not the Song of the Summer.

It won Collab of the Year with Post Malone.

I think we could say it was that.

Right.

But so, like, I think there's a pre-arrangement.

Like, you want me to come to your silly little award show?

Give me all the awards.

Because then Taylor continues her reign as like the most awarded female artist of all time.

That includes the BMA.

So not that Fortnite is a bad song at all, but it wasn't the song of the summer.

But happy for the more time she got on stage, the more opportunities she had to talk.

So that works for me.

And I think we all knew she was going to do her vote.org.

But what we weren't expecting was my boyfriend Travis.

I didn't see her second speech in full.

I only saw the first one live with Postmillen.

She talked about 9-11 and then also just like voting with Posty and how.

I really appreciated the 9-11 call out because like in New York, 9-11, like,

maybe I'm unique.

I feel like it's grossly under discussed.

Yeah.

Because like young people these days, like, it's like something that happened in history to them.

It's not.

Yeah.

Real.

Like we experienced it.

So I really appreciated her talking about it, especially given that that the night was in New York.

Like, and nobody.

Do you think it's weird that the VMAs were on 9-11?

I do.

And to not, like, commemorate it in an official capacity.

I saw someone like post.

Oh, actually, I'm sorry.

That's not true.

I heard them say, and I thought this was really cool.

A lot of people in the audience, like a lot of tickets were given to like people who lost their parents in 9-11.

Like a lot of, not survivor, like children of survivors.

That is really.

So they did something.

That's sweet.

I'm sorry.

But I think putting anything.

I'm not going to put any day on the calendar and you're like, let's do our nutty award show on 9-11.

I just think that's a weird choice.

Like, I feel like.

Well, it's a choice because the event was on a Wednesday.

I think some events, like people's weddings, like you have no choice.

It's a Saturday night.

I'm not talking about events in general.

I'm talking about the VMAs.

Yeah, when, like, what's the difference between a Wednesday and a Tuesday?

You know, it's not like it was a special Friday night or a Sunday night award show.

Do they have the VMAs on a Veterans Day?

I don't think that they should.

Would they, though?

I don't know.

I don't know.

It's definitely weird.

And then, like, you promote it, and it's like September 11th, September 11th.

And it's like, try as you may, September 11th will always be September 11th.

So I think that was wrong.

And I didn't really think about it before.

I saw someone saying, like, the VMAs are on September 11th.

What is wrong with the world?

I'm like, what is wrong with the world?

No, and seriously, thoughts and prayers to anyone whose birthday is on 9-11, too.

Like, that's a somber day.

Yeah.

No, but to have a birthday on 9-11 or a wedding on, like, that doesn't, I mean, of course, your birthday takes away.

It's not the same.

But a wedding doesn't bother me either, especially it's a weekend and you need a September week.

Like, listen.

Right.

It is what it is.

When everyone's getting married at the same time, dates are hard to come by.

But there are 365 days in the year the VMAs could have picked.

There are probably only a handful of that are off limits.

Yeah, no, it's weird.

So Taylor saying something like queen, like queen.

Yeah, and then she was also talking about how Posty is such a gentleman, how there's a reason why he's the most collaborated artist within music and everyone wants to work with him because he's just that guy, which

I could see that.

And in the second award that she won for Fortnite, everybody came up with her again and she was talking about how while they had the best time on set, there was like someone in the corner who was just like so joyous and like clapping between every take and just like shouting between every take.

And that person was my boyfriend Travis.

Yeah.

And the way people screamed, I don't know who.

If I thought she was going to say Travis, but I certainly didn't think she was going to say was my boyfriend Travis.

She like made it a thing.

Not to take away from the moment, but I know they're not engaged.

Okay, so I thought, like, the way that she labeled it, I was like, oh, because she should have just said it was Travis.

Like, we know it's your boyfriend.

So, my boyfriend Travis.

I could study.

Okay, so literally.

Oh, no, the thing is, she is like such a romantic.

She's always going to be that girl, like, in high school, who's just like wanted her boy, her boyfriend is like the star football player.

Like, I'm calling him my boyfriend at every chance.

Okay, but, and I need to explain this to people because I'm about to, like, we need to be Rashi on this.

Okay.

So

in the Bible the Old Testament the Humash the Torah there are like famous rabbis who give commentary on the way that the Bible was written and like you'll read a sentence in the Bible and it's literally just a sentence right no but Rashi will come in with this little commentary and it's like the way they use like this letter instead of that letter you're not understanding it and you know we understand the Bible like 30 times more deeply because of Rashi

And there are other inter there are interpreters.

Interpreters.

Like there are a lot, but Rashi's the one.

He's the main one.

Yeah, he's cited the most what rashi could do with my boyfriend travis

what do you think she's saying i think maybe she's saying i'm not engaged because like that's a a rumor i think yes she wants everyone to know she has a boyfriend like literally me when i got a boyfriend even though like she's not like she's ever had one but like she has the best one

I think she's really grateful for these fan awards.

I think she cares a lot about the awards, especially the ones that are voted on by fans.

And her whole career and so much of her success has been because she feeds her fans, and she's really grateful to her fans.

She's not one of these people who like hates her fans.

And so, I think, you know, she was out of the house last night.

She wanted to give us,

she wanted to feed us.

And you know what?

We ate.

We fed.

We were fed.

And so I think part of it was that, like giving these little sound bites to people like myself, like who desperately needed to hear my boyfriend Travis.

I think it was layered.

I think Rashi would agree.

Okay.

Well, I just thought it was sweet.

He was so happy and clapping.

She said, everything that he touches turns to joy and happiness.

Which is such a nice thing for someone to say about you.

And

it's just, that's a nice presence to have in your life, right?

And we talked about this at the beginning of their relationship, how when you listen to her music when she was with Joe, specifically the song piece, like it's like kind of miserable.

Like she looked at her life and her fame as this like negative storm cloud and how she would never be happy and she would never be at peace and she's never gonna be able to find anyone.

And then for her to end up in a relationship with this like real goofball who takes the seriousness out of everything and is so happy, it's just it's just fabulous.

And then also, the VMAs had a Taylor cam and they had a camera on her in the audience the entire time, which

yes, I think it's like right up her butt.

Yeah, but like there are cameras everywhere.

So like, do you think she knew that there was like a solo?

I think she has to be told that.

That's wrong if they don't tell her that you're going to be watched the entire time on a live feed on like MTV.com, which is just like, I mean, it's great for the fans, but like annoying for the human being.

Of course, but I think if she didn't want it, she could have nixed it.

Yeah.

But I mean, she's going to have fun regardless, but then you can't have like just one moment.

Like, it's just, you're on the entire night.

Yeah.

But I guess we get so many viral moments.

And it's a working night for her.

Like, she's going to the VMAs to work.

Like, she's not just going for fun only.

Like.

We're

to work.

So she's, yeah, viral moments of her dancing and singing along to Katy Perry.

Her facial reaction to Katy Perry announcing that she's on day one of her period, which was, I think, shocking for a lot of us.

I need to react to that as well.

So let's move on to Katie Perry.

Oh, moving on to Katie Perry.

Okay, so Katie Perry won the Vanguard Award.

She did a multi-song performance.

And honestly, without Woman's World.

I didn't realize that she was winning this award, that she was doing this performance.

When the performance started, I was like, oh my God, this is like when she performed at the Super Bowl.

Like, we're about to get like a 13-minute medley.

Thanks.

Katie gave everything that Katie had and she was doing the absolute most.

However, like, I did have to clutch my pearls at certain moments, you know?

know, yep, I was down with most of it.

The scissoring on the table and then the camera up the pussies.

Yeah, that was really crazy.

That was a lot for me.

And then again, I'm not,

you know, on Satan watch around here.

We discussed Claudia and I, like, satanic things are not, like, really something that we're familiar with.

But, like, when she put those

balloons on her back.

Towards the end of the performance,

that's Satan.

And I think

she gets a lot of things.

That's my thing.

She gets, like, That's like one of the conspiracies about Katie Perry, that she's like sold her soul to Hollywood.

Oh, is it?

Yeah, that's hilarious.

That she didn't have success as a Christian artist and then sold her soul to the devil.

Oh, she made a deal with the devil.

She made a deal with the devil.

The devil went down to Katie.

And there's all these demonic references in her music videos and in her work.

And yeah, it's there.

It's like Josie and the Pussycats.

Like, the demon is that girl who subliminated the messages everyone.

Parker Posey is demon, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So she's like, and then Katie is Josie.

Katie's like constantly feeding Satan because like he gave her a career.

I'm obsessed.

And like

other,

what was on her back if not that?

What were those balloons?

I can't even pretend to like understand Katie Perry's performance because again,

what we have said time and time again, like Katie Perry doesn't know who she is as an artist.

And I'm getting the vibe that she doesn't know who she is as a human being because to do this video Vanguard, and I want to say I actually think she was a great choice for what the video Vanguard represents.

Like she really has had such an illustrious career.

We clown on her now, but like she is and has always been that bitch, right?

Yeah.

The music spans her biggest.

She's her biggest fan.

Don't forget.

I'm literally her biggest fan.

She doesn't know who she is as a human being.

And so I think her doing all those different things, like the scissoring and like the old school music and then the balloons on her back, like that's her just sort of like trying to appeal to everyone.

Yeah.

And it's coming through.

for people like it really is so desperate and I think it's very bizarre that she didn't do do Woman's World.

Like, are you not promoting an album?

Like, you've been doing Call Her Daddy.

Like, she's doing Lifetimes.

But Woman's World was like the one, right?

The first.

I love Lifetimes.

I have not stopped listening to it.

I'm not complaining.

She's like running from stage to stage like a maniac, like in her alien suit.

It was crazy.

She's seriously

not okay.

And

was anyone singing live last night?

I'm not like a live singing watchdog either.

Like I understand there's reasons why people don't sing live.

I don't think it's because everybody has a bad voice or anything.

And I felt like she was singing live because she was also like talking, like make some noise, whatever.

How was she not out of breath at all?

Well, she's probably training for some sort of like tour.

And

I didn't get the vibe that there was a lot of lip singing last night.

Like I thought Sabrina sounded so beautiful.

Definitely live.

Yeah, I was

definitely live.

No, but like Lisa for a black pink, I didn't know she went on on her own.

I think that sort of would have been stronger with the rest of black pink, but like I don't think she was singing.

And I don't think she was even like pretending like she was.

But you know what?

Like seriously, I'm performing in another country in my second language.

Like I'm lip singing too.

Okay.

Well, her performance was strong and it was nice to see a member of Blackpink.

And I didn't know that she was doing her own thing.

So Katy Perry's red carpet outfit I actually really liked.

I thought like, yeah, it was a little nutty, but it's so VMA.

And again, I don't know what her...

current brand aesthetic era she's in.

So whatever.

Like it's a cool, objectively cool outfit.

Yeah, I thought she, she looks great right now.

Like she's a beautiful woman, and she looked great then.

And Orlando was with her, and he was a big part of her evening as well.

I feel like she was just kind of like leaning on him, like to absorb it.

Or

to absorb some of like just the feelings of the thing.

No, the thing is,

he's so well liked, I think, within people in the industry, but also he's kind of like

America's sweetheart.

Here is not American.

He's a heartthrob.

He's in these movies that people just love.

Like, he is kind of one of...

One of the strongest things of her brand right now.

So I appreciate that she knows people like him and she just kind of uses him as a shield.

Yeah, he was a human shield last night.

A hundred percent.

No, literally, that's hysterical, Jackie.

Yeah.

And

the butterfly thing at the end when they were like passing it back and forth, he like didn't want to take it.

I think she thought like him standing with a butterfly would be like heart throb, heart throb.

She's gonna ruin him.

She's literally gonna destroy Orlando Bloom.

But we need to talk about her starting her speech off with that.

She just did that on day one of her period.

The thing is, okay, ready?

It was shocking, of course.

And in the moment, I'm like, Scoozy?

However, you know what?

We were just talking about like the girls at the Olympics.

Like, what if one of them, like, they're both equally talented, but one of them is like in their luteal and the other is in the follicular.

So, you know what?

While it was a shock to the system, I appreciated the knowledge.

That's what I'm always saying.

I'm only sharing about my period so you guys know, like, be impressed.

We all know too much about each other.

Yeah.

And, like, I know know sometimes i was hard about i was like hard about like knowing about people's periods even when it was like innocuous whatever but it was like because i was you're i was trying to stop the tide from from this like now we need to know every time someone's on like we don't need to know

we don't need to know

and

i it didn't change how i saw her performance

To me, she wasn't, okay, moving on from Katie, like, because I want to transition, she wasn't like the most obvious, like, she wasn't everywhere during the show.

I feel like Katie was like making the most in Taylor.

But to me, the night i think was the biggest biggest success for sabrina carpenter so she's next we have sabrina on the red carpet wearing bob mackey it um is the dress that madonna wore in 1991 it's classic sabrina silhouette like she stuck to sabrina i think people sometimes would expect or hope that at the vmas like someone does something crazy but i think she's still in this period of cementing who she is as an artist.

So every look is going to be like this sweetheart feminine silhouette until it's seared in brain.

This is who Sabrina is.

That's the thing.

Like one of my favorite things about Sabrina, I feel like whenever we're talking about her at a glance, I always say like she has such a

point of view, like a very specific aesthetic.

And it comes through in her music.

How her music sounds is also how she looks, right?

Like her, it all is so cohesive.

And I don't think a lot of artists can say that.

Katie Perry certainly can't.

So I love that she's hammering it and I completely agree.

The backstory of the dress, I mean, Bob Mackey, like sick.

The fact that it is Madonna's, like Madonna heard that Sabrina loved her and wanted to wear one of her dresses, and without even asking, she just sent it.

And so Sabrina was like, okay, I guess I'm wearing this to the BMAs.

It's also a dress that Fran Dresher wore on the nanny, like obsessed.

The history of the dress, and like I have seriously not a single issue with the dress.

She looked amazing.

And it tied to her performance wear because she also wore like this very corseted sweetheart neckline white outfit too.

So it all, again, the brand book of Sabrina Carpenter stays cohesive.

Yes.

Her performance was adorable.

She did a medley of a number of Sabrina songs, including Taste, Please, Please, Please, Espresso.

She didn't sing Skin, which was definitely a lost opportunity.

But I loved her performance.

She made out with an alien.

She did like a little menage a trois thing with an alien and an astronaut.

I felt as though that was not necessary.

Yeah, that was definitely like a scandalous moment, but it was kind of like, you know, Brittany and Madonna making out that's a classic VMA's moment.

And now Sabrina's going to make out with an alien.

And that's like so Sabrina.

Because don't forget, like in her brand book, she's also weird.

There is like that 1% quirky.

I think her performing taste in a room with Sean Mendez and Camilla Cabello, like I know you don't see that, but it was palpable to me.

Like obsessed.

Like one thing about Sabrina Carpenter, she doesn't give a flying fuck.

And no matter how famous she gets, that doesn't change.

And that's why she's such a real one.

And I seriously love her.

The alien thing, like, again, made no sense to me.

The outfit was everything.

The little, the little smooch, the sealed with a kiss on her inner thigh and her back, like obsessed.

Her with all the astronauts at the end.

It's also because it's the moon man.

I'm sorry, moon person.

The moon person.

Jackie.

I didn't get it.

No.

And there's astronauts everywhere because it's the moon man.

Okay, because then I was like, but you do know it's moon person now.

I didn't just.

We'll get to that.

Don't worry.

I thought that her kissing the alien and then Taylor wearing like a UFO dress.

I'm like, oh, they're teasing a collab.

But now I understand they're both just referencing.

It was all extraterrestrial.

And here's the thing.

I want to say something because I'm a person.

like i see everyone for who they are like i really do like you are you and i respect that i am gonna say moon man so i'm holding i'm holding space for true truths like you are you and i love you it's a moon man it's a moon man

and i don't think like female artists getting a moon man are upset about it like by the way think about it like the oscar is a man the sag award is a woman like it's fine no it's seriously fine No, it's a moon man.

I'm sorry.

I'm not changing.

Oh my God.

Do you want to hear the funniest thing?

Me and Ben were

in an Uber, and there was like traffic, and we passed because there was construction, and there was a sign that said manhole.

And like, as a joke, Ben was like, It's what about woman hole?

And like, Ben, they literally changed it because of that.

He's like, You're lying.

Ben is not chronically online.

Like, he doesn't know the things that go on in the world.

Like, he's just like normal.

And he was like, What if it is a woman hole?

And I'm like, No, they're changing it.

I'm just gonna say, like, a hole in the street being called a woman hole is offensive to me.

Agreed.

It's like sick.

There are going to be children that come out of my life.

Like, there's like life that emerges, not like like some

dungeon.

Jackie, I need to address a rumor.

I need to address a rumor.

Ooh.

It's a rumor that I like unintentionally started.

Yesterday on the toast, I said that I was mothering a child outside my marriage.

And there are people walking this earth now who think that I made an announcement that I have a surrogate or something.

Or that maybe that actually sounds like you're becoming a surrogate for someone.

Oh, okay.

Like I would, like for the Taylor, you know?

Or they don't need it.

Sorry.

Brian.

They got plenty of women.

They've got two.

Yeah.

I'm am so sorry.

I was making a reference to Dave Grohl's statement about him fathering a child outside his marriage.

That wasn't any sort of announcement.

I'm so sorry to disappoint.

I am not, I don't have a surrogate, nor am I becoming one.

Sorry.

However, like, if you are going to become a surrogate, a great way to announce it is to say, I'm mothering a child outside of my marriage.

To all toasty surrogates, let this be your

calling.

If you're looking for a caption, like to announce to your inner circle that you have like taken on the job of surrogacy, which is such a beautiful, selfless thing, like congrats to you.

Feel free to use that as a caption.

It's yours.

Yeah.

Great idea.

Any other thoughts on Sabrina?

Like, I just love you so much, Sabrina.

Perfection.

Like, 80 plus, it was a big night for her.

It, like, she had last year, to put it into context, last year she performed at the pre-show.

And this year, she had her own medley.

So even though it wasn't like a pre-show VMA debut, in a lot of ways, it was, and she aced it.

My favorite thing about the VMAs is that, like, they have huge talent come, but they also use it as an opportunity to promote their own talent.

And they always have like the cast of the Jersey Shore and Teen Mom like hobnobbing with Taylor Swift.

And I just like, I want to thank them for that.

It's not like they, oh, Taylor Swift is coming, kick Snookie out.

Like, no, bitch, seat Snookie next to Taylor.

Like, I love that they promote their own talent.

Yeah.

It's sweet.

Next, we have Megan Thee Stallion, who wore so many looks throughout the night, kept changing into like iconic VMA, where she hosted the evening.

And I think she did a really good job.

She had like really great energy.

She does have good energy.

She has a good personality.

And I also feel like she made herself a little scarce.

Like with a host, you don't want to see them too much.

It's like, girl, get out of here.

I feel like she showed up when she needed.

And I thought she did a great job.

I agree.

Yeah.

Like totally good.

No notes.

No notes.

Yeah.

And she looked great.

And she's funny, too.

Like, and I think all the people there really like her too.

So it's not like any weird like VMA classic.

Miley, what's good, you know?

I think she's, it's very copacetic.

Yeah.

Camila Cabello was there.

She performed.

I did not catch her performance.

Did you?

I did.

It was really nutty.

Like, I didn't like it.

Because

everything I was seeing before that, it looked like Camilla got her shit together.

Yeah, I loved her look on the carpet.

Like, the very funeral-esque, like, I loved it.

Yeah, me too.

I didn't understand the performance.

And if I was there in the audience, and I know these things are made for TV, but like seriously, like.

She was like in this glass box.

She was literally in the glass house.

And she was like, it was, I really didn't get it.

A performance that I loved was Carol G.

Wait.

agreed.

Carol G.

I don't know if I've seen her perform before.

I thought she was so great and fantastic and I really enjoyed her performance.

I agree.

Like great energy, great dancing, great vocals, like tens all around.

Yeah.

I need to talk about something.

And I know, like, you know, I'm obsessed with this dynamic between like Camilla, Sean, and Sabrina.

But there's also another dynamic at play as like Taylor's plus one, right?

Taylor's best friend.

For so many years, it was Camilla.

They've sat together at a million award shows.

And just like, you know, she's been that thing that like that person that Taylor leaned on to like dance with and take pictures with.

It's a role.

It's an important role.

Tree Payne has played it at many times.

Sabrina Carpenter played it.

I feel like it was maybe last year.

Sabrina is also now like an inner circle Taylor girl.

And we haven't really spoken about this, but what happened to Camilla Cabello and Taylor Swift?

I don't know if there was like a breakup of sorts, but they definitely fizzled.

Yeah, we talked about it a few weeks ago.

They definitely fizzled.

Now Margaret Qualey and Jack are playing the role.

Also, Lana Del Rey likes to sub in sometimes.

But last night, I think that like Sabrina was really having her own night.

And so she didn't want to sit with Taylor as like Taylor's support system, which I feel like Taylor's like, yes, you have your own moment.

Camilla didn't sit with her either.

I need to know like what happened there.

Suki is tapping into.

Yeah, Suki's new recruit.

She's up at bat.

Yep.

I love her.

But you know what?

Like it's time for it to be Travis.

And I understand it's the season right now and he probably couldn't go last night for his schedule.

But like they've been dating a year.

He loves to party.

He's a celebrity.

They're out and about.

He loves to dance.

They do everything else together.

Like it's time for it to be be the man.

I agree.

And she's been very wary of like not making red carpet moments ever in her career.

Like moments for her, like making it about her relationship.

I think she feels really strongly about that.

But everything with Travis is different, right?

Yeah, no, I think if this had been any other day of the week, like U.S.

Open Day where he could have been in New York, I think that he would have gone with her.

This would have been the perfect event for them to go to together because it's so not serious.

Yep.

I'm sure they were actually bummed that they couldn't go together because they would have had a lot of fun.

Everyone there would have like been so into each of them.

It would have been, it wouldn't have, of course, it's like Taylor's domain, but like VMAs are really for all sorts of collections.

It's not like the Grammys.

If he goes to the Grammys, like he has to be buttoned up, he has to behave.

Like he is like Mr.

Taylor Swift at the Grammys.

I think if she gets the nominations that she wants for TTPD, he will go with her.

Yes.

If the schedule is aligned.

And I think by then, like, they'll be doing even more stuff publicly.

But as a first one to just like have a fun date night, like this would have been perfect.

Agreed.

Like dancing, singing.

when i got up to the podium i think that i forgot to say your name and if he were in a matching plaid outfit like that's all the evening needed in a kilt in a

in a kilt that's what the evening needed that's what the evening called for there was a kilt sized hole at the vmas 1000 bursa okay next up chapel roan chappelle roan what did you think this was your first interaction she know she had a little bit of a rough start to the the evening because the first thing that went viral was...

She's like, I'm going to tell a photographer to shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up.

Now, I have read a lot and I haven't seen any video proof, but it appears as though the photographer was yelling at her.

And so she said, shut the fuck up.

Like he provoked her.

I do think that is the protocol on the red carpet.

Photographers are always like, left, left.

And they scream.

They're actually really rude.

And she, you know, she loves her boundaries.

And I think she's like, listen, this is my first red carpet.

I'm not playing that game with you.

Yeah, I saw a lot of interviews with you.

You talk respectfully.

How it was, you know, the red carpet is very anxiety-inducing and it was very overwhelming.

And she didn't like the red carpet i could see her like one day when she's like even bigger to like skip red carpets in general and being like this is not for me yeah being one of those artists who like i'm only here so i don't get fined yeah

so she performed good luck babe which is a song that i is familiar to me and i thought it was really great i liked the medieval um

aesthetic and the background and i was like is she really about to shoot a fiery bow um but it all worked and it was good she canceled like many shows in europe for this performance and i think her fans were really upset but this was kind of a huge moment for her um the medieval she's she has a very artistic unique point of view and she's gonna do what she wants for me like i'm just more of like the fun pop girly like i want bright colors not like dark fiery medieval energy um but one thing about her is her vocals are next level and i was glad that she was able to like show everyone like i can do it all i can do the crazy shooting a bow an hour but my vocals are gonna remain on point i think it was a a big mainstream moment for her because we talk about her a lot in the sense that like she feels very online.

And this was huge, like televised American moment.

Yes, I just want to say, I just don't feel like the vocals, I felt like the song sounded exactly like what I've heard from Instagram and TikToks and whatever.

And I don't feel like the chat, I understood completely like chaperone like washed over me, but not because she did a good or a bad job.

It's just like you can only get so much in a three-minute performance.

Yeah, I think though, when

I heard a song, people have had their first televised moment.

Like we're always making excuses.

Like, I remember when Olivia Rodrigo blew up and then she had her first, they were like, it's her first show, get better.

And to really nail it, your first time.

I guess it's good that the song just sounded like it was playing on a soundtrack and then she's dancing in a, in a night's uniform.

Like, right.

I didn't get to know a lot of chapel roan.

But again, how much can I get to know in a short performance?

And it wasn't even a medley.

I was hoping for a medley.

A medley would have been good.

Did you like her red carpet look?

I actually really liked it.

Yeah.

I think that she doesn't usually show some of the things.

I don't love the glaze.

Well, so, okay, so you have to understand like she prefer every time she's seen live, she does, and that's why so many in all of her speeches, she like acknowledges and thanks drag queens.

She does drag makeup, like her foundation is pink usually or green, like really out there.

And I think that's like a, something she does to like pay homage to drag, but also like to maintain a level of privacy.

So for her to wear, like, yeah, she still wore like crazy makeup, but like it was kind of flesh colored.

That was huge.

interesting okay so the glam's like not my favorite but i actually i in looking at the outfit on its own i i do really like it yeah it's very like demure and she always goes i don't know what's more out there i don't know what she's what i should have been expecting but i think this is actually really uh cool yeah i agree

who else i don't have anyone else really

like the the awards the ones that were televised um oh eminem opened the show

l cool j i just want to say i love him Like,

I didn't know any of the songs that he performed.

I just feel like he has a really good attitude.

Like, I love him.

Benson Boone, I heard him performing because Zach was still watching in the living room.

He sings these beautiful things.

Teddy Swims performed every five minutes.

I love Teddy Swims.

Yeah, so that was good.

You know who could have been there but wasn't there, but it like would have been a year for her to be there?

Donde Sta Ari.

Donde Sta Ari.

She was nominated for a lot of awards.

She probably would have won if she went.

I feel like she's taking the Lady Gaga path where like she's acting and she's kind of like not leaving music behind because she's still making music but you think you're like a little like lady gaga would never go to the vmas like she's going to the oscars you know

because she's acting wicked right like you get like a little bit of like a superiority complex when you make a major movie i'm cracking up that's what i think okay

well that's the vmas

All in all, like, I feel like the kids are doing all right.

Sometimes I watch these award shows and I'm like, you guys, like, need help.

We all need, we need to pause pause and we need to evaluate.

But checking in on the youth, like, the music is good.

Everyone, like, it was good performances.

Joyous.

Everyone was looking really good.

Like, put care into their outfits.

Glamour was here.

Yeah.

I enjoyed it.

The glamour was in the room with us.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I thought it was good.

Jolly good show.

Jolly good show.

Our second story, a little more Katy Perry news, a follow-up from this week because Katy Perry reacts to her fiancé, Orlando Bloom, being caught checking out Kim Kardashian's butt.

I want to say, like, I know you guys think that I'm a Katy Perry defender.

I actually feel like it was really crazy that they asked her this question.

I thought it was crazy that they asked her when she hadn't already seen it.

So, Katy Perry was on the Elvis Duran show on Tuesday, and as she's being interviewed, one of the hosts sees this photo that we talked about this week of Orlando checking out Kim's butt.

And they're like, Have you seen this?

And she's like, No.

And you can, like, tell when someone says, Have you seen this?

And they're like, No, like you can, like, you could sense like the fear taking over.

Where could it be?

Turns out this is like not nearly as bad as what something else could be.

So

the whole thing, honestly, the clip kind of gave me the ick.

Like I actually felt really bad for her.

I thought that even if she had known and if she wasn't caught off guard, like seriously, I thought, I thought it was a disrespectful question.

Yeah, but one, she could have like had a prepared answer to just like nip it in the bud.

And I think her answer would have probably been the same as what she said, but she could have had something like maybe even snarkier.

And two, like to be live on air and someone goes, have you seen this?

Like the blood drains from your face.

It did to her too.

It did.

So anyways, Elvis asks, I mean, how could you not look?

And then, so she like looks at the picture and she goes, I approve.

Yeah, of course.

And by the way, like, I'm, no matter what she said, I was never going to hold it against her because being put on the spot like that is like actually rude.

But I just want to say, like, my problem here isn't even that they put her on the spot.

It's the fact that they asked this question in general.

Like, it's fucking rude and it's disrespectful.

Yeah.

Also, and I felt actually really bad for her watching the video.

Like, try not clutching your butt cheeks watching it.

Right.

And then Elvis said the images captured Orlando with his hand right above Katie's butt.

And then Katie said, it's been other places.

Sorry to tell you.

and she said my daughter is four yeah then she has to like go and be her unseverable self but you know what i can't even blame her oh speaking of she did mention orlando doing the dishes um at the vmas

so

one thing about katie is like she's gonna make you cringe yeah and that like never really was her thing i guess like we didn't know that much about her she was all teenagering she was always in costume she was always putting out music and music videos and like not to do with like her person.

Agreed.

She really needs to stop like all of it.

Just release the album and go home.

So there you go.

We can put a bow on that.

Love her.

But she is also on a press tour right now.

She's doing like tons of things and so she's going to get asked about like the stuff that's going on.

And that's also like the feeling when somebody's doing a lot of press, like you get over them.

You get annoyed.

It's like enough.

Oh, yeah.

Well, that too.

I'm ready for the album to come out.

Like I feel like she's done an adequate amount of press.

Like, I want to tell her PR team, like, jolly good job.

The job is done.

Give us the work.

The fact that the work isn't out yet does feel like a miscalculation.

Yeah.

Like, they started too soon.

I've like clicked a couple times.

I'm like, oh, the album, let me listen to it.

And like, both times it wasn't out yet.

It says like upcoming.

And it just doesn't feel right.

I need to know.

And it's like now, when does it come out?

I'm going to look.

September 20th.

September 20th.

What's today?

The 12th.

We still have like over a a week.

Next Friday.

That's a week.

Oh, yeah, a week from tomorrow, but

it should be tomorrow.

It should be tomorrow.

By the way, it should be tomorrow, like after the VMA.

And by the way, it should have been last week so people could have saw her performance last night and then went and streamed Katy Perry.

Yeah, or really today.

Or tomorrow, excuse me.

Yeah.

Next story.

Some good news, everyone.

John Bon Jovi stops a woman from jumping off a Nashville Bridge.

I'm so ready to talk about this, but I thought it was going to be your segue into Ardham and Nikki Garcia.

No, I have another segue for that.

Some good way.

Some good news.

We're 50% there to getting John Cena and Nikki Garcia back together.

But this is better news because a lot of people are.

Because John Bon Jovi has saved a life.

He stopped a woman from jumping off a Nashville Bridge in a heart-wrenching video.

John Bon Jovi talked someone out of taking her own life in a video shared by the Metropolitan Nashville Police Department on Wednesday.

The video, which was recorded on Tuesday evening and shared on YouTube, shows the singer slowly approaching a woman on the famous John Segan-Halter pedestrian bridge in Nashville, Tennessee.

He happened to be filming a music video for his song People's House when he and his team noticed the woman standing on the outer ledge of the bridge and

clutching onto the handrails.

He stopped a few feet away from the woman and began speaking to her before moving closer alongside another bystander.

It's unclear what was said, but the singer and the other individual appear to convince the woman in distress to return to the main part of the bridge.

The video shows the pair helping the woman back over the railing before further speaking to her, and then the trio walks off.

This is really chilling.

I mean, like, talk about right place, right time.

And do you think she knew she was talking to Bon Jovi?

For sure, right?

He's like that famous.

I wouldn't know, I don't think.

Yes, actually,

if they were filming a music video, like down the road, and then the person, like, who's probably in like a leather jacket and sunglasses, like, comes over, definitely in a leather jacket.

It really, yeah, like, he looks like Bon Joe, he's in his Bon Jovi wares.

Because I feel like

a thousand percent

everyone knows who he is.

I would not know this man.

I'm looking at him.

Really?

Yeah.

That's so crazy of you.

Well,

why would I?

Journey?

But like, I'm, I don't, why would I know what he looks like?

I only know what the glee cast looks like.

I'm dead.

There aren't enough people that talk about the fact that like Bono and Bon Jovi are different people, right?

I think that that's definitely confusing.

If you weren't like alive and socially conscious for the peaks of both of their careers.

Yeah, it's a lot to take in.

But as it pertains to this story, I want to say like, like, let's assume she knew who he was.

I think it's fairly safe to say he is like the biggest rock star in America.

He's like one of our, like, America's greatest

productions, you know?

Yeah.

Do you think,

imagine, I can't really imagine what it's like to be in the headspace of like, of that woman, but I imagine maybe she thought for a second, like, that she was hallucinating because you're like so close to the end.

You're like talking to God.

People say like they, have crazy experiences, people who have been there.

Like, maybe she thought it was hallucination.

Like, maybe like Bon Jovi's coming, you know?

Maybe, except for, like, the music video being filmed down the way.

And there was, like, another guy, too, I guess.

I don't know, but this is so great.

Also, um, page six notes that he has extensive training in interacting with people in crisis due to his John Bon Jovi Soul Foundation.

So it really is right place, right time, because, you know,

who knows if he could have said the right thing or the wrong thing, but because he, like, is.

What's the soul foundation?

The organization's purpose is to recognize and maximize the human potential in those affected by hunger, poverty, and homelessness by offering assistance in establishing programs that provide food and affordable housing while supporting social services and job training programs.

Garji Parji.

Cop off John Bovey.

Bonjo.

John Bovey.

Garji Parji.

Garji V.

It's the Ganji Parji Foundation.

No way.

I love him.

Like, seriously, this is so sweet.

And what a great end to a story that could have had a very different outcome.

Yeah.

Really a mitzvah.

And the fact that it's all on video is even crazier.

I mean, you can't do anything these days without being on video.

Yeah, everything, I feel like everything is recorded.

Like, this was probably

CCTV.

Yeah, from the bridge footage, but I wonder who put it on YouTube.

Maybe it was even the police department just because.

I mean, these are good stories, right?

These are stories that should be amplified.

Yeah, yeah.

And I hope that woman seriously gets the help she needs.

His team said he will not be speaking on it to protect the privacy of the individual.

Well, of course, and also, like, at the end of the day, the story is not about Bon Jobi.

It's about this woman who's like having a a crisis.

And so, let's focus on that, you know, let's get her the help she needs, not like Ban Jobi.

And I like, I like that he's not being like, hey, look at me.

Classic, honestly.

Classic.

Mensch.

Mensch.

Menshi energy.

Are you ready for our next story?

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Thank you, Claudia.

Oh, also.

I just needed to correct something from yesterday because I was saying like Dave Grohl has his book coming out in October because those were the other posts on his Instagram.

And his book came out October of last year.

Last year.

And he hasn't posted on Instagram since.

Maybe he's been busy impregnating women.

His book says, like, coming this October,

and it's confusing.

Past October.

Just want to say that.

October's have passed.

October's have passed.

Our next story, what Claudia thought I was going to say before, is that Nikki Garcia Nebella has filed for divorce from Ardham after the former Dancing with the Stars pros domestic violence arrest.

So it is over between Nikki and Ardem.

She filed for divorce from him on Wednesday per TMZ less than two weeks after he was arrested for domestic violence.

As a reminder, the exes share four-year-old son, Mateo.

So obviously wishing them well, respecting their privacy, et cetera, et cetera.

How long does John Cena wait before obviously leaving his wife?

Six months.

Because sometimes like, you know, you have to, you see an opportunity and you have to take it.

I think that is when he starts like planting the seeds and like getting in fights.

Yeah.

So that like in six months, it's not he can claim he's unhappy, yeah, and it doesn't just seem like I'm leaving because Nikki is free.

Now, all jokes aside, I wish him and his wife the best, but some truths are just sort of undeniable.

And I think that, like, this actually couldn't have worked out better in the sense that Nikki really should never have given up her wanting to have kids, no woman should, right?

For a man.

So she got a beautiful baby son.

Thank God.

And you know what?

It didn't work out with the father.

Luckily,

luckily, there is a gorgeous, successful, loving man.

Remember when he went on the Today Show and was like, Nikki, come back to me.

Like, seriously, not enough people talk about these two as the greatest love of our time.

What if he doesn't want to be a stepdad?

Oh, please.

Because I think at that point when he went on the today show, he was so desperate.

He's like, please, I'll give you a child.

And she was like, no, I don't want it this way.

So I think now he'd be happy being a stepdad.

He said, give you my wiles, give you a child.

It's not wild.

It's wild.

Wiles.

Give you my wild give you a child there'sn't that your wiles yeah isn't your wild like your

maybe it's not

hold on here it is give you i think it's wild oh she's saying give you my wild give you a child we're both wrong Oh, wild.

I thought that's what you said.

No, I said wiles.

Cause our and what are wiles?

Like your woman.

Oh, Jackie, wait, we're saying the same thing.

Oh, I thought it was wiles too.

Like your womanly wiles, right?

Give you my.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, I don't know what wiles means, but okay, wild means the devious or cunning stratagems employed in manipulating or persuading someone to do what one wants.

So, your womanly wiles are when like you use like your women womanly wiles.

And by the way, that's a word Taylor Swift would 1000% use.

No, like, I actually think it's a typo on AZ Lyrics.

Oh, please, AZ Lyrics doesn't have typos.

Give you my wild.

No, even Genius Lyrics is saying it.

Give you my wild, give you a child.

Give you my wild, give you a child.

I do think now needs to, I was singing this on the way to work today, that because we're going to the Eras tour in like almost a month, which I'm so excited about.

Like we're not talking about it enough.

We also need to start some sort of online media campaign to get her to sing.

Peace.

Peace in Miami.

It's not out of the question.

Peace in, are we going night one or night two?

I literally don't even remember.

I have no idea.

Hashtag peace in Miami.

Hashtag Peace in the Middle East?

Nah.

Peace in Miami.

Yeah.

I guess you view the silence that only comes when two people understand each other.

Family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother.

I haven't even thought about like what surprise songs I would get and what surprise to get songs I would want.

Well, she's in this era where she's doing like very glee medleys

mashups, if you will.

So I would just put out into the universe, like what songs do you want to hear?

Like just give me two.

I do feel like most of my songs are on the set list.

Yeah.

I'm going to put, I'd really like to hear peace.

I'd really like to hear the other side of the door.

And I would really like to hear Coney Island.

Perhaps with, like, you know, I know she brought out, oh, that was Cowboy Like Me for Marcus Mumford, but Aaron Desner, like,

I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island, wondering where to my baby go.

Does she sing Snow on the Beach?

In the set, no.

I like that song.

I know you do.

Bigger Than the Whole Sky.

I mean, it's so sad, but I would love to hear that too.

I really like that song.

Marjorie and Gold Rush.

Marjorie is in the set, Gold Rush is not.

I'd like to hear Gold Rush.

Marjorie, for me, is a top moment of the tour.

And I wasn't even particularly looking forward to hearing it when I went.

It was maybe, it wasn't going to be a bathroom song, but it wasn't one that was top of mind.

And it was the one that really got to me like all three times that I went.

Dear John.

She doesn't play Dear John, but she does it, has done it as a surprise song.

That would be a really good one.

That would be a really good one.

I'm not.

I was also thinking, I listened to Dear John.

So crazy that you said that.

I listened to Dear John on the toast today, and I was thinking, if Taylor comes up, I wanted to remark how, like, seriously, I don't know if anybody's ever written something meaner than I'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town.

We actually have that on one of our lists.

Maybe that's what made you think of it because when we did our town.

No, I was listening to it to work on work on the way to work today.

That's what made me think of it.

When we did our Patreon of my lists.

I have a list of quotes.

Oh, I'm sorry.

This wasn't even in the Patreon episode.

I have a list of quotes and it's just one quote.

I'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town so i don't know what that list was originally meant to be but i i think it should be like extremely cutting taylor swift lyrics like you don't even realize like it's seriously so fucking mean but like in a good way oh okay i don't think that's what it's set out to be i think it was just like poignancy

your sad empty town oh my god kill me like so it's like kind of mean to other people who live there like what did they do It's empty.

Nobody lives there except for this person because he's pushed everyone away.

Loserville Population U.

Loserville Population U.

That's what she's doing.

She literally rewrote Loserville Population U into like a more sophisticated song lyric.

That's exactly it.

I'm shining like fireworks over Loserville Population U.

Well, probably Nikki Garcia is listening to that song right now, but just don't worry.

In a couple months' time, you'll be listening to Lover.

I totally forgot this.

Maybe dancing to it at your wedding.

Yeah.

I hate Ardom.

Like, I knew it.

I knew it.

He gives one of those vibes.

Like, everybody from Denzy with the star is like, we love Ardham.

And I was just like, ew.

And I was right.

Because, look, look, he was just arrested for domestic violence, and his wife is leaving him.

So, where there's smoke, there's obviously fire.

Yeah, justice for Nikki Garcia.

I fucking love her, yeah.

And I'm look, I'm learning.

I'm really, I'm calling her Nikki Garcia, not Nikki Bella.

Yeah, um, it only took me three years, but you know what?

Soon, I won't even need it because it'll be Nikki Cena, Nikki Cena.

Now, you see me, now you don't.

She's the invisible man, the invisible man and woman.

Are we ready for our fifth and final story, which is a little more legal news?

The thing is is about us, like I'm always ready for the legal news.

Justin Timberlake has reached a plea deal in his DWI case three months after his Hampton's arrest.

So like not to make it about us, but this case like did become more interesting after we summered in Sag Harbor.

Yeah, because we really got to know the town.

We literally had drinks at the bar hotel where he had been drinking.

And I have to say, like...

surprise to nobody, he has bad taste.

Like seriously, one of the most disgusting margaritas I've ever had.

Oh my God, all I wanted was a cappuccine and their machine wasn't working.

Couldn't even get in.

And they were like, yeah, sure, you can have an espresso.

And then they come back 25 minutes later, like, sorry, the machine's broken.

It was giving me McDonald's with ice cream.

So, like, no cappuccine, no nesprezzo.

And the margarita was, like, poisonous.

So, um, not to disparage a local, you know, mom-and-pop shop, but.

No, it's, like, fancy.

They'll be fine.

They'll be fine.

And what was funny is that.

Like, obviously everyone in town knows that this, like, big, major scandal.

And all these shops, like, around that bar,

like, one of the art galleries was selling a picture of his mug shot.

Like, it was hysterical.

Hysterical.

So Justin Timberlake has reached a plea deal in his case nearly three months after he was arrested in Sack Harbor, New York.

The singer is due in court for a hearing in New York tomorrow, and the AP reports that he has agreed to a plead guilty to a less serious offense after initially being charged with driving while intoxicated.

His attorney in a rep for the Suffolk County District Attorney did not immediately respond to people's request for comment.

But his lawyer has maintained that he was not intoxicated when he was arrested and booked, one for running a stop sign and for failure to keep in lane.

He maintains that he had one martini, and his turdy would say it was a gross, perhaps martini.

A gross teeny.

A gross teeny, and he followed his friends home.

That's his story, and he's sticking to it.

Like, that's literally me when I'm blackout.

I'm like, I'm literally sober.

What are you guys talking about?

I'm always maintaining, like, how sober I am, and I can't even stand up.

But martinis, okay, you could have one martini, but like the size.

Also, what did he eat that day?

Martinis are very potent.

No, one martini, I think, and don't quote me on this, like scientifically.

I do believe one martini, like a real martini, is equivalent to like two and a half drinks.

And if you didn't eat a lot that day, maybe you hadn't drank in a while, you were on a cleanse for six months.

Like context is key.

It's true.

I'm going to need a toxicology report on what was in his situation.

If you have one martini right now,

you would have to go to the hospital.

You know, when we were at Polo Bar with Pookie and Jet, Ben

had like three or four.

It was really crazy.

And he like never really drinks that much.

I actually think Ben having like four martinis, he might even be less drunk than me having one martini right now.

1,000%.

So context.

of like you're just a little girl.

I haven't drank in forever.

I haven't eaten yet today, except for a yogurt.

Should we do a Patreon?

Jackie has a martini.

And then we just sort of follow you around with a camera crew for 24 hours.

I mean, that would be hysterical.

Like we take you through the highs, the lows, the hangover, everything.

The hangover.

That would be actually a hysterical series.

Jackie has a martini.

What happens next?

What happens next?

You'll never believe.

You will never believe.

Like, if I got you, like, round-the-clock child childcare, like, I made sure the kids were completely fine.

I put, I took us to, like, a local, fabulous hotel.

We spend the night.

We have a martini and we go to bed.

Like, we'll see what happens after that.

That would be, yeah, sure.

And you have to get like IVs.

Yeah, but like, I feel like you'd be worried about the kids.

I can make Olivia like stay at your house.

I got to make sure they are 100% fine.

Yeah, no, I trust, like, you know, the level of care I need.

So, yeah, no, like, not just Zach.

Like, I would make, like, I would make everyone, Margo fly down.

Like, the kids are completely fine.

Like, you have to worry about nothing.

Yeah, No, I'm saying yes.

I'll get round the clock security.

I'll get a security team.

Okay.

Armed guards at the house.

Literally.

Armed guards.

I got you.

I said yes.

It's going to be the most expensive Patreon we've ever filmed.

I got to pay for flights.

Armed guards, armed vehicles.

Just to give me a martini.

Just to give her like a really worry-free night out.

Yeah, but then the issue for martinis is I don't like olives.

You better, you don't need.

But I don't like martini taste because I don't like olives.

Like, do you drink a martini?

No.

So I've actually never had a martini until Ben was at Polo Bar.

And

it's very off-brand for me to not like olives because I do like most gross vegetables.

Let me tell you what the cocktail that Ben had was.

It was a martini that started with a V.

Viper?

Keep saying.

Vermouth?

No.

Veranda?

Honestly?

Honestly?

Let me just ask him.

It wasn't the veranda martini?

What was the name of

the martini you had at Polo Bar?

No, it was the Aunt Vicki martini.

That's what it was.

Thank you for reminding me.

No, it was called like

Vesper, yes.

Vesper.

Vesper.

Vesper martini.

It tasted like a sumo orange.

It was delicious.

What was the first thing I said?

not vesper

you didn't say oh by the way not it literally being on the menu right in front of me yeah vesper martini what was vodka i said gin lilette blanc aromatic bitters grapefruit twist 36 this place is out of control i really strongly believe the first thing i said was vesper and i'm so glad we'll be able to watch that back i'm so glad too because i know that you did it because it like when i heard vesper it clicked like i i if i had heard it i would have think it was just the way that she said it with authority vesper as opposed to me being like Vesper?

No, she said Vermouth.

You said Vermouth?

No, before Vermouth.

We'll find out soon.

I'm so excited.

Roll back the tapes.

I love that.

Did we get into the fifth story?

Oh, yeah.

Justin Timberlake is pleading to something, so he'll probably have, you know, community service and whatnot.

But this takes place tomorrow.

Really looking forward to the paparazzi pictures of him in an orange vest on the side of the highway picking up my trash.

Not me like driving by and throwing things out the window.

Like, hey, Justin, you missed a spot.

Hey, Justin, Backstreet Boys were always better.

Hey, Justin, you curly-headed buck.

That's what you get from drinking and driving.

And I'll literally throw, like, you know, Harry's dirty diaper out the window.

And you ship it to me.

Vermiony, like, why do you hate him so much aside from like, like, the D, because now I feel like our level of hatred has surpassed the man.

Well, I, of course, anyone who drinks and drives automatically on my list, but for me to, like, like, never forget, I have to have had like a

duty diaper at someone, like, what did they do?

What why do I dislike him beyond like the obvious reasons?

I guess the handholding in New Orleans.

The handholding in New Orleans, the Britney, the Janet Jackson, like

okay, it's all coming back to me.

Thank you.

Like the long history of just being seriously like a

Neanderthal.

Yeah, no, I literally forgot who he was.

Brittany, Janet.

Yeah, it's all coming back.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

It's all coming back.

It's all coming back to me now.

Now, a little status update on my hemorrhoid pillow.

I feel like it's really working.

I have lots of energy.

Usually I'm like, okay, like, I'm like singing, like, let's have a prep.

You want to check with something else?

Like, what's going on?

I just readjusted my

butt, so I have a few more minutes in me, too.

And if anyone's wondering, I'll link my pillow.

I know probably everyone wants to know, like, where my pillow's from.

Yeah, get that affiliate.

Maybe we can finally retire.

Yeah, retire on retirement.

Listen, there are people who have retired for less.

We thought we were going to retire on Fruit Bowls.

Yeah, yeah.

Jackie thought that her affiliate link to her really cool fruit bowl was seriously going to put us like I guess people were more so curious like what I paid for it because it got 30,000 clicks, but it did not get 30,000 orders.

Otherwise, we seriously second home.

Now, I can't recommend this pillow enough.

Like it's really,

I like the way it feels, the gel-like, it's ugly, I'll say that.

And it's huge.

Like walking, I had to put it in a shopping.

I was humiliated to walk to work with it.

But let me say, my life is vastly improved.

Okay.

Well, maybe I need one then.

You can use my, I'll send you an associate's link.

Thanks, TY.

So, that's our show, even though I could go on, you know, I really wax poetic, but we'll be back tomorrow.

We'll save it for tomorrow.

Um, thank you guys so much for listening to the Toastmille Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Have an amazing day, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya.

Bye.