Bring Back Joy: Wednesday, September 11th, 2024

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Toast and Happy Garjee Pargi Wednesday, hump day, a great day, hump day.

Wednesday, it is, it is, La Terd.

It is the day of the Wednesday.

It's actually a terrible day, like if I'm being honest.

It's 9-11.

So let's just get that.

That's never going to be like the best, happiest day.

No, it's not.

I

like always cry on 9-11.

I feel like weirdly, maybe it's like a New Yorker.

I don't know.

I think 9-11 is like the worst day ever.

And I am sending so much love to anyone today who was affected by 9-11.

I think like when I was even walking to work, like there's so many cops out, so many streets are closed because there's a bunch of memorials and it's really nice.

But just like a terrible day.

A good day to watch United 93.

I feel like we always on 9-11 talk about United 93.

That movie was so powerful.

It was.

Yeah.

A good day to stop and remember whatever that looks like.

A book, a documentary, a movie, just taking some time to not forget.

No, and the further we get away from it, it like does feel like everybody forgets, right?

Yeah, but you would hope at least like on the anniversary that people are remembering and reflecting.

There's just like low-key, a lot of people walking around who weren't alive.

Yeah, I mean, we see that.

We see a lot of that in a negative sense.

Yes, of course, writing letters and love letters to Osama.

To Osama.

Yes, but today I don't want.

Let's not talk about that.

I mean, that's, yeah, and that is, you know, unfortunate.

And we can spend other days talking about it, but actually, maybe today it is more important than ever to talk about that too, but also to remember the lives that were lost and impacted so greatly.

No, and I feel like we had this conversation last 9-11 specifically about the movie United 93, how like, seriously, it's one of the most well-done movies ever made.

And it's also like the lesser told story, right?

About on 9-11, of course, we think of New York.

We think of the Twin Towers.

We think of those two planes.

But we don't often talk enough about United 93.

You know, the plane.

Well, you and I too.

I feel like we're holding it up.

A thousand percent.

The plane that was headed, correct me, where was it headed towards?

The Capitol?

Yeah, the White House.

Well, they never made it because very brave passengers like

they hijacked the hijackers and everyone ended up dying, but they ended up saving a lot of lives because they didn't crash into another government building so really well done movie star studded will arnett who else is in that movie and then we our fame who peter herman we also always say when we talk about united 93 like how much if you're in that movie like i'm a fan of yours for life because i feel like if yeah i don't think it was like a big budget movie i don't think a big studio was behind it but it was like a story that needed to be told and i feel like if you got casted it and like you're a big star like you did it because it was a passion project of yours and it was like an an act of service.

Yeah, like it really is, because I think a lot of people, myself included, only really know most of the story about that flight from the movie.

Yeah, it definitely got

more press from the movie as opposed to just being an anecdote from the day.

Oh my God, you know who's in it?

Who?

Dodi Fayed.

From the Crown.

His real name is Khalid Abdallah, but Cheyenne Jackson, classic.

Who's that?

Oh, the guy.

You know him.

I was like, I don't know know that lady.

He's from 31.

Of course, I know.

Claudia, he's from Descendants.

I know him.

What?

Yeah.

He is?

He's major.

Yeah.

Oh, you know who else is in it?

What?

Descendings was kind of like a melting pot for the greats.

Okay.

Just saying.

Do you know who David Rash is?

You don't.

No.

But he's in succession.

Okay.

He wears those like glasses and he works at the company.

He's like one of the senior guys.

He's always on the plane, but he's not like a main character.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Classic guy.

There's a lot of familiar faces in this IMDb.

Of course, Peter Herman, but nobody,

I think maybe I'm also misremembering Will Arnett being in it.

And I feel like now I'm having deja vu that we've had this conversation before.

Whatever.

It's such a good movie, not to like make a joke about it, but like, it's really good.

It is good.

If you haven't watched it, maybe you should.

You definitely should.

So and also not to make everything about me like everything possible, but it also always makes me feel so old, like the amount of years we get away.

Cause I was alive during 9-11 but i was also like a conscious like i remember that day like i was in the third grade like i was alive you know yeah um and so it's been 23 years since i've been you know socially conscious yeah you were in the third grade i feel like we have the summer season every every year and then you remember it wasn't the third grade yeah no it was the first grade no who taught us mrs lacks do you remember her we what second so she was in second grade i was in second in second grade because i remember she said and i sell the story every year she said, the first kid got picked up, Bradley Garzinski, he was out of there.

And we're like, what's going on?

And she said, there's been an accident in Manhattan.

And you know what?

It wasn't the worst way to explain it to a bunch of second graders.

Like, I'm sure in that moment, she didn't realize it was going to be historic, right?

And how do you explain something like that to second graders who are probably freaking out?

In the moment.

Right.

In the moment.

And now everyone, if you're telling, if you were relaying it as a teacher, as a part of history.

Right, you would explain it differently.

You wouldn't say it was an accident.

Yeah.

But I am sure in that moment, she like kind of had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Yeah.

This is Lux.

She also might have thought it was an accident at first.

That's so true.

I think a lot of people did.

I think a lot of people did until the second one hit.

Yeah, of course, of course.

So very sad.

Today's just like a bad day.

But of course, what we do, you know, we acknowledge.

We bring light.

And we bring swirliness.

How was your evening?

I went to a fabulous event.

Not to like, I don't know how to shift out of 9-11 talks, so we're just doing it.

Here's what we do.

We just shift.

Of course you went to a fabulous event because you're the face of New York Fashion Week.

I am.

And I want to say, it was probably one of the sickest like productions I've ever been to.

It was in part.

All these, all these Fashion Week events have huge sponsors.

And like, you know.

based on who your sponsor is, we're going to see how fabulous it's going to be.

So I went to Cynthia Rowley and it was sponsored by Cadillac, Cadillac, excuse me.

And it was at one of the piers, like on the west side, which was really beautiful.

Sunset, water.

It was really, it was making me a little sad because I knew 9-11 was the next day.

And it was like kind of gorgeous New York night, not to be like morbid.

And I was thinking, I'm like, how are they, once it gets dark, like how are we going to see stuff?

Because it was outside.

And they basically lined up like 15 of the new Cadillac whatevers and put all the lights on and made a runway out of the cars.

And then they had like smoke and like the cars, the headlights were like doing dances.

It was really sick, honestly.

Like, and the clothes were obviously gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous, but the production was kind of 10 out of 10.

It was sick.

That is very cool.

We already knew the clothes would be gorgeous because not to make about us, but we shopped at Cynthia Rowley last month and we

scored like we've never scored before.

I honestly feel like the Cynthia Rowley ex-Cadillac partnership might be deserving of going on our list of Toasty Lions awards.

It was such a great, because I went to a couple events and, you know, Fiji Water sponsors a lot.

Like, and the integration is never, you know, that creative.

Like it was really brilliant because now here we are talking about Cadillac, gorgeous new car, American made.

So it was like the perfect blend.

I honestly,

I wish you could have seen it because, like, and the way they opened it, the girl stood in front of the car and the car wasn't on.

And then all this smoke and the headlights went on.

Like, it was sick.

I added it to the list, and we can always just like go back in a few months and we'll know whether or not it stood the test of time.

A thousand percent.

And then I raced home because we missed the first presidential debate because we were selling out the music.

Yeah, Gizno.

But to our credit, we scheduled Gizno

before the debate.

Okay, okay, cool.

Who else did the first one?

Like, what network?

I don't know.

Don't they each get like their own?

Like, last night was ABC.

Well, they don't each get their own because there could only, there could be no more debates, but there's more networks.

It just, it kind of depends.

Yeah, but like last night was an ABC exclusive.

It was like Disney Plus Hulu and ABC.

Yeah, so the last one might have been MSNBC or NBC.

Okay, okay.

Like they were coming for our next, like so jealous of us.

Jealous of Jizz and I was like, jealous of Jizz and jealous of our success.

So we weren't able to watch it.

And you know me, I love to watch something that everyone's watching and like scroll Twitter at the same time.

I raced home.

So many streets were were closed i'm now realizing like it took me i had to go like 30 blocks out of my way to get home it was probably because of 9-11

no and also like all of the presidents of past and you are at are in the city for 9-11.

yeah but like i'm sure you saw this morning pamela and donald were in pennsylvania like i was thinking sometimes the streets get like biden is in the city Okay, maybe.

Oh, actually, I'm sorry.

My doorman told me what was going on.

Biden was in the city.

You're right.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

I was just like so annoyed.

And I was like, so worried I was going to miss it.

Like, you know, me, I have such FOMO.

Like, I need to be like with the tweets, like, what's everyone talking about?

I made it home with like 20 minutes to spare and I was able to order some food.

So thankfully.

Oh, thankfully.

Thankfully, I got 38.

I got brisket from one of my favorite kosher restaurants.

It's recently been the target of an anti-Semitic attack.

So everyone goes supporting.

Mr.

Broadway.

Mr.

Broadway.

Best brisket in the city.

I saw.

Yeah.

Order Mr.

Broadway.

Show up.

No, it's like they know.

They know how to get to me.

Mr.

Broadway.

Mr.

Broadway, my favorite restaurant.

They also have Chinese.

They have Chinese, Italian.

One thing about kosher restaurants.

One thing about a kosher restaurant, like there's always going to be sushi on the menu.

They don't like to be cuisine specific.

And I love that because you know what?

Like as Jews, and if you keep kosher, you're limited in your restaurants.

So if one place is going to do it all, like thank you.

I know if you're an outsider, you come and you're like, oh, this place has a sushi bar and a pizza brick oven.

You don't get it.

It's okay.

You don't get it, but I'll explain it to you.

They are not cuisine specific.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So yes, it took away from my watching of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives last night, which was kind of a bummer.

I was looking forward to getting back into it, but I did, I I sat for the debate.

I also watched a couple episodes of Mormon Wives yesterday before I had to go.

I got up to, I love that they're talking about brand deals and how much money they're making.

Like, thank you.

Like, that if you're making a show about influencers, that's what people really want to know, right?

We always talk about influencers make so much money.

I want numbers.

And we're when she was saying they offered me 20 and they were like thousand, two thousand.

Like, she was like, two,

I loved that.

Yeah, need to know information, and good for her.

A thousand percent.

Now, I'm still having the hardest time telling two girls apart.

It's Demi

and I don't even know the other, the one, um

What does she do?

Hair.

Jay-Z.

Oh, Jay-Z hair.

Jesse.

But then there's also a Jen, so I wasn't sure like which Jen.

And then Jen is the one.

Who uninvited them to her baby shower.

Yeah, and she seems shorter than the other girls.

She's also the one whose husband.

Is second cousins with Ben Affleck.

Oh, and has like blonde of hair.

He seriously looks like a character from Game of Thrones.

Yeah, he looks like something out of a Greek novel.

Yeah.

I thought that was so like weird.

And this is what I like about the show.

These girls want this show to be successful.

And so like, okay, she gets uninvited from a baby shower.

What does she do instead of like gossip in a normal reality show?

No, she calls that bitch right up.

Like, I like that these girls.

She literally had like a 30-minute conversation.

Actually, longer, like, an entire head of hair was put into her hair and curled in the time that she spent on the phone with them.

Understanding why she's not invited.

Not prepared.

Like, she was seriously not prepared.

It was like a total ambush.

It was so rude when they kept flashing back to the car ride of like her literally inviting them.

Yeah.

So rude.

Well, I think I actually understand why Jen didn't invite them.

Like if you then get to the baby blessing, it's very small in her in-laws living room.

Like, of course, we're not inviting the couple that brought alcohol to our last party.

At our in-laws.

That is so rude, by the way.

And she's a toaster.

And like, Jesse, I love you.

But like, that wasn't the right thing.

It's like the equivalent, seriously, of bringing like a pizza with pepperoni to a kosher person's house.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's very disrespectful.

So I, and I, the, the blessing was like like so small that she didn't need to be inviting all of her friends.

So I understood why they weren't invited, but she shouldn't have invited them to begin with.

And it also seems like her husband was sort of putting his foot down.

Now, the more I know about their relationship, like

he's not allowed to do that.

She is the breadwinner.

She is paying for his school.

Oh, well, she goes through medical school.

Yeah.

She's paying for medical school, Claudia.

What about his parents?

His dad's a doctor.

The way she described it to me, like she is paying his way through medical school.

You're lying.

So like, if I want to invite my friends to the fucking blessing, sit down.

Sit down.

Oh my God.

Well, because then I actually like, I thought it was really, like, she was being super vulnerable, just talking about how, you know, when she invites her mom to things that her in-laws are out, she always like feels so awkward.

Like, and she said, to put it in perspective, like, my mom is like a custodian at the hospital where my husband's dad is like a cardiologist or surgeon.

Yeah.

And so she obviously has this awareness, not a complex, an awareness about just like the difference in like how she grew up and how her husband grew up.

So for her to be over here with her Instagram money and be paying, I can't.

Yeah.

She talks about it when they go on a trip.

She's like telling Demi about it and also how he says that like, you know, yes, but long term, like he'll be making more money because he is going to be a surgeon.

But like, I'm sorry, the way things are going for her, she's on a TV show.

Business is booming.

I don't know if that's the case.

I think being like a major influencer, you actually might be yielding more than a surgeon.

Okay, except some of these doctors, I needed to make a doctor's appointment today with like a new doctor.

I call first thing in the morning and she's like getting all my info or whatever and she's like okay the doctor's only in on mondays

what what is she i do would like to know what what about the other days of the week okay so i had my theories because that's really crazy maybe you're and and she also was like this was i need to go to like a specialist i'm having a lot of medical issues i don't want to get into it and this one doesn't take insurance which is so crazy classic and you know those doctors that don't take insurance like they that's like i think like if you want to make like real money as a doctor and not just like help people you don't take insurance and i thought that was really crazy and so i guess that's how he only works one day a week.

I was shocked.

You don't think he's like working, doing research the other days of the week or working at the hospital.

Like there's other things you could do.

Maybe he only takes appointments one day because he's a surgeon.

He's a professor.

Maybe he's a professor.

No, he's a surgeon.

So like, I think he does the surgeries the other days.

Oh, okay.

And then I thought it was crazy.

Like, why is Turdy seeing the surgeon?

I'll tell you about it later.

Is it your hand?

It's nothing cosmetic, please.

I wish.

Oh, I didn't think so.

And I'm hoping I don't need to get surgery.

It's just the doctor that I needed to go to was a surgeon.

That's what I was told.

Got it.

Like, I'm seriously having so many problems between my thumb.

Like, everything is always hurting me.

My neck has really been bothering me.

So I've had like a really upsetting discovery, I think.

And I've not even vocalized it.

I've not vocalized it.

But it has to do with what you're saying.

No, it's not bravery.

It's just like.

Ever since we got home, every morning I wake up in my bed and like my neck and back are

not right.

I think my bed, it's so comfortable.

I think it's too soft.

And Zach said the same thing.

He was like, have you been having like back issues?

And I was like, yeah.

And it starts every morning and throughout the day, like I adjust, but like I wasn't having that all summer.

We were sleeping in like harder beds.

Unfortunately, I think my bed is too soft and cozy.

I want to, we're going to talk about that, but you just reminded me a shameless self-promo takes precedence being of your husband.

I recorded a podcast with your husband.

Yeah, that's right.

We kind of wipe swapped yesterday.

It's on the Patreon because last month we did this really fun game where I sat down with Ben and Jackie sat down with Zach and we asked them like 25 questions about like women's health, women's interests, like girly questions and to see how many they knew.

Now we decided to flip and do like the man quiz on us.

But I also was like, what if I did it with your husband and you did?

So me and Zach podcasted together.

I think the first time.

I think the first time too, because I've podcasted with Ben, of course, of course.

For the toast, but also I've done like...

Dear Toasters relationship episodes with Ben.

We've done like bonus content together and we're podcasting again today.

Kind of a denay a duo like everyone's talking about.

So that's at patreon.com slash the toast and Jackie's with Ben is going to be up also probably today or tomorrow.

So I'm sorry we can get circle back to your back, but you mentioned Zach reminded me that this is a place of business and I needed to promote that.

Yeah, I think that if I want to get serious, like I have to get a new mattress and it has to be firmer.

Oh my God.

Why is it that like taking care of yourself is so expensive?

Like of course you need a new mattress, like the most expensive, right?

Godfrey, you guys need a pillow.

Could I, I thought it was pillow and I've been swapping pillows, but like it's very clear.

It's very clear on what's going on.

Maybe I could get a topper, but also like I love a soft bed.

Your bed is really delish.

Just, you know what?

Because it's seriously a marshmallow, but it's harming my health.

Deal with it.

I have been,

but I shouldn't be.

Circling back, I was texting you yesterday.

I totally forgot that we got tickets.

Like we have kind of like something exciting coming up.

Jackie has still never been to the heiress tour and she doesn't even know what goes on at the the Aristotle because she didn't watch the movie either.

I didn't watch the movie, I don't watch the videos when they come up on my Instagram.

I've really, I know bits, like I've seen pictures, and I know, you know, the gist, but I've really, I don't really know.

And I totally forgot that we got tickets because we got three tickets with me, you, and our friend Margo Lewin.

And she texted us yesterday, like in Florida, like, hey, should we start planning?

And I was like, I totally forgot.

We need to plan an outfit.

And do you remember when I went to the Arab store for the first time?

I was like, I don't know what to wear.

I don't know to wear.

And you were like, you and the girls should dress up as bad blood music video.

And I was like, wow, thanks for the idea.

Far too late.

Should we dress up as Bad Blood Music Video?

I just feel like we don't have enough girls.

The thing was, you were going with like 10 girls, and I just would have been so cool.

Yeah.

So maybe we all should just do like seamless,

seamless swirlies.

Oh, you just want to wear like regular outfits, not like costumes?

Wear like, you know, Taylor-inspired outfits.

But I have a closet full of like sparkly pink dresses.

I don't think I have to get a new one.

It's so true.

Like Eras is very retrofit coded.

Yeah.

Even though I don't have a retrofit dress, but I have plenty of dresses.

Also, it's not a story, but was it last night or this morning?

Because I woke up with Taylor's endorsement.

It was last night.

It was right after the debate.

Okay, so I was asleep.

Taylor and not a story.

Not a story, but Taylor got involved.

And I think a lot of people, myself included, I've been like thinking about this a lot.

Like, is she gonna, will she or won't she?

And I do owe somebody money because I really thought she wasn't going to.

Like for, no, I really, and I was so confident.

And I had a whole backstory because if you like look at the arc of her relationship to politics, she never got involved.

She never got involved.

And then she did get involved.

And I feel like when she did get involved, it wasn't for the reasons that I thought it was because like she had entered this, I don't want to say flop era, but this like low in her career, like the lover time.

And I think she thought that like this would really help.

And I don't think that it did.

I think what helped was just like her going back to what she does best, which was folklore.

That was like the Renaissance.

So I have like a whole theory on why I thought she wasn't going to.

And I was wrong, which it does happen,

unfortunately.

And then like Brittany Mahomes, I actually think Brittany Mahomes played a big, a big part in it too.

I think the noise was getting really loud and a lot of people were like, will she, won't she?

And with the timing of the debate, I think she had like a good opportunity to say like, I wanted to wait for the debate.

But she did.

Things she did.

That

thing she did that.

Yeah, I guess the noise was really, I hadn't realized I'm not like on, you're not talking about

talk.

I'm not chronically online, but I guess people were really wanting her to.

And there were like now,

I think it went beyond like chronic onlineness.

I think there was also like legitimate publications writing articles about it.

Yeah.

And I saw.

And I think she has a lot of care, even though she's at this level that she's never been about before.

Like, I think she really cares about being well-liked, being accepted.

And I think like when these big time publications and people start saying things, I do think it really gets to her.

So I do think that was a motivator for the timing.

Not a story, but definitely worth mentioning.

Oh, yeah, because everyone's talking about really that.

Yeah.

Tailored and the debate from last night.

Yeah.

So.

And and it's 9-11 so not to like yeah just like a big somber day that we will do our best to put a swirly swing sprinkle on i mean we do have dear toasters which i think helps putting a swirly sprinkle on things yeah that's true we've got stories we've got good stories yeah oh and i have an announcement to make okay use your voice raise your voice i have

mothered a child outside my marriage

and i want you to respect my privacy privacy, obviously, but I'm also telling you.

So,

okay.

Thank you for sharing.

You're welcome.

And now, without further ado, dido, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

And the fast five stories that you need to know are very appropriately brought to you by Hulu.

So, Jackson and I have been loving The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.

Hulu is a sponsor of our show, but it is not incumbent that we give positive reviews.

Like, all of our reviews are totally organic, but we are here to tell you about the show, where you can watch it, and all the things included.

So The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is now streaming on Hulu, and it is a show we have been so excited to watch.

We've really been enjoying.

That part is not sponsored.

This part is.

So the show is about a group of Mormon moms that grew up super conservative Mormon faith and they follow a lot of those really strict rules, which include no cursing, no tattoos, piercings, alcohol, caffeine, et cetera.

These women then blew up overnight on TikTok and they were fully in the spotlight when Taylor Frankie Paul, one of the main castmates, announced that she and the others in the group were involved in swinging.

Now they are coming together post-scandal to form this new reality series that gives you an inside look at the secrets, lies, and gossip in mom talk.

Wait, I really also liked when they had that party at Jesse's house that they were talking about how big soda is in their community and the role that it plays.

And I always knew that soda was important, but I didn't really understand that it was in absence of coffee.

And like in the morning, these soda places are like a coffee shop.

I didn't really get that until they explained it.

I thought that was very interesting.

I could totally be Mormon.

So if you don't already know who they are, totally fine.

They explain the whole thing to you, which I think they do a really good job of too on the show of like explaining the context of these women and the group.

They're also really changing the gender roles in the Mormon culture.

They pave the way for the next generation.

A lot of them are breadwinners, which is really interesting.

So, watch the original Hulu series, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, all available.

All episodes are now available streaming on Hulu.

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Today's episode is also brought to you by Huggies.

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A trusted source.

You're working.

You're working.

You're working.

You're working.

You're working.

By the way, never gonna give you up.

Never gonna give you down.

Okay, Arnese Michaela's new favorite song is Never Gonna.

I don't even know what the title of that song is.

And she's changed the lyrics.

Seriously, she's made them so much better.

Never gonna give you up, never gonna give you down.

Things she said that.

are you ready for our next story our first story our first story a little baby news actually in line is it dave grohl yeah i wouldn't know if that's baby news like little baby news okay

Foo Fighters rocker Dave Grohl fathers a baby outside of his marriage and is working to regain his wife's trust.

So Dave Grohl out of nowhere yesterday put out a statement on his Instagram saying this.

I've recently become the father of a new baby daughter born outside of my marriage.

I plan to be a loving and supportive parent to her.

I love my wife and my children.

I am doing everything I can to regain their trust and earn their forgiveness.

We're grateful for your consideration toward all the children involved as we move forward together.

Okay, I have a lot of thoughts.

My first, of course, is

like that's what you get, Taylor.

I want to tell you not to get lost in these petty things.

You nemeses will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing.

Of course, my first thought was like, seriously, this was a pretty quick turnaround, you know?

Love to see people out here failing and going through hard things when they seriously out of nowhere, like we're clowning on Taylor.

Oh, she doesn't perform live.

Like, it's just like obsessed, you know, from that.

Yeah, no, like, just get your own house in order before you're going to start like

criticizing other people.

It's so true.

Get your own house in order, first of all.

Second of all, I do find it like incredibly bizarre that he shared this.

Now,

I don't know if I would say that for anyone.

Like, he's like a rock star, right?

And what do rock stars do?

Like, they just like, they cheat and they fuck people and they like, you know, have babies.

Like, I don't know.

I just feel like it's not the craziest thing to me that, that he did this.

The crazy part is like the well-quaffed statement.

I think maybe it was going to come out.

Yeah.

And so like this takes the sting out of someone else announcing it

without him.

And then we see like that makes it much more salacious versus him like sharing.

Letting us know first.

also according to his instagram that i'm now on he has a book coming out in october that is like his memoirs of a girl it's called the storyteller so that's kind of really bad timing on the one hand it's good oh you know oh press is good press but on the other hand like if this is the story of your life like oh now all of a sudden like it's not finished because this is a big piece of your story I have to imagine also like the wife had we had the wife's approval in sharing this because I

would imagine she would have rather not, but it must have been coming out in one way or another and he wanted to get ahead of it because this is like it's it's not a poor of reflection on her or anything she did but I can imagine not wanting that out there and like feeling embarrassed.

Yeah, but also it's like, why should this be like her secret to keep for him?

Like go out, admit your mistakes.

Go tell everyone what you did.

It's like I could see both sides of it where it's like, now it's like this shameful thing that she has to keep private when it's like she didn't do anything wrong.

It's just a great day for people who hate Dave Girl.

Like really.

Yeah.

And I'm sure right now that includes his wife.

Yeah.

And also like when did he recently become a father?

Like this, I wonder how long he knew that like he was, was he having an affair with a one person and that person became pregnant?

Was it a one-night stand?

Right.

Like did he know about the pregnancy?

Did he only find out about the birth?

When was the baby born?

It's just a lot.

Yeah.

I also just think like the statement was crazy.

I can't explain it.

The way it was seriously like out of nowhere.

So matter of fact, I appreciate that there's not one like useless sentence in this because usually we get like this.

Yep.

And it's full of like word salad, yummy, yummy.

And instead, we just got, we got the need-to-know information.

Yep.

And I can appreciate that.

1000%.

Just the sentence, I fathered a child outside my marriage.

I don't know, it's just like a crazy way to say I cheated on my wife and got someone pregnant, you know?

I think it's really, it's beautifully said.

It's much more

elegant.

Yeah, I've recently become the father of a new baby daughter born outside of my marriage.

As if, like, the second part doesn't change the entire first half of the sentence.

I will say there are definitely a lot of men who would have, you know, ignored the woman and her child.

So for that, he's not like a complete piece of shit.

And he said, I plan to be a loving and supportive parent to her.

And I think that's good.

No, I agree.

The bar is so low for fathers.

And so this is good.

Yeah.

This is groll.

This is grol.

And just like, seriously, watch your fucking mouth.

Yeah.

Literally.

Yeah, just like people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, is the old adage.

It's so true.

And they're so right about that.

And you know what that old adage always makes me think of?

I wonder if you can read my mind right now because this is like a really random niche thought.

And I don't know if I've ever shared it.

That movie?

Oh, Glass House.

Oh, my God.

You are seriously like my

psych twin soul.

I can't believe you knew what I was talking about.

Yeah, it makes me think of that too.

It does.

Okay.

Does anyone remember that movie The Glass House?

With that woman who played the nerd DNA and never been kissed?

Lele

wait, I'm pulling it up.

The glass house.

Sobieski.

Lele Sobieski.

I was just talking about her on the toast the other day too.

We were because she looks like someone.

Yeah, she plays like the mathlete.

nerd lele sobieski you're right because you know she's a religious jew now i don't know if she converted or if she was born Jewish.

I think she's a convert, but she's like a very serious one.

I think she quit the industry and committed herself to faith, which is beautiful.

Also, Diane Lane is in it.

And Chris Knoth.

Yeah, yeah, Diane Lane is in it.

Okay, wait, it's the craziest movie.

Can you tell me the plot?

I don't remember.

I just know it's about like some bitch who lives in a glass house.

After the parents,

literally, I'm not talking about like figuratively.

The parents of Ruby, who's played by Lele, and her younger brother are killed in a car crash.

Their parents' best friends become their guardians.

The children hear promises of a world of opulence in California fun.

All they have to do is move into the glasses gated house.

Before very long, though, Ruby suspects that Erin and Terry may not be the ideal guardians that they seem to be.

It's a spooky thriller.

Yeah.

It's so good.

It's totally the sort of thing that sticks with you as a young man.

I know.

There are a couple of movies that I saw as a young child that I definitely like shouldn't have seen like too early.

And they never became popular.

That like, okay, do you remember when we were doing Toast Movie of the Meek Week?

And I made everyone watch that movie, Little Children?

Yeah.

With Patrick Wilson, Kate Winslet,

about like this pedophile who moves into a, like, he's like a sex offender pedophile who moves into a neighborhood.

Um, and like what that does to the neighborhood.

And then Kate Winslet is also like having an affair for some reason with

Patrick Wilson.

It's a bizarre movie.

Um, I don't know how I saw it and why I did, but like.

It's just like a fun fact about me that I've seen that movie.

I mean, we've all seen it now.

Yeah, during COVID, Jackie and I did this really fun series called Toast Movie of the Week, where, like, to keep ourselves from like seriously jumping off the balcony, we would all watch a movie together every week and then like recap it.

And we did like fun ones, we did sleepover.

And then I was like, we need to watch this movie, Little Children.

Now, granted, I hadn't seen it in a while, but I remember it being like just kind of crazy.

I definitely was misremembering.

It was really dark and like disgusting and covered really like disturbing topics.

And I apologize.

I don't know if I did at the time, but now obviously I'm better.

I've

done better and I've learned and I've grown and I'm really sorry.

We forgive you.

You saw it, right?

Like the fact that you saw it.

And at least now when you reference it, like we know what you're talking about.

Yeah.

And it's like another one like the whale.

No comment.

Yeah.

It's another one like the whale.

Like really disturbing, not based on true events.

My only question I'm left is why?

Like movies that didn't need to get made.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Bethany Franco has a new man.

I saw he's really cute.

He is cute.

Like, where does she find all these like handsome businessmen, like a handsome businessman convention?

No, it's so true.

She is always finding these like good looking, successful guys who we've never heard of, like the definition of businessman Bo.

And I do think it's because she, like, as much as we like clown on her, she's like a reality star influencer.

She is such a successful business person and like a famous person.

I do think she gets invited and like runs in very fabulous circles.

I do think she goes to like big business events, cons, you know, like Sun Valley.

And I can say with utmost certainty, there's nobody there like her.

You know, she's really one of a kind.

Right.

So she has a budding new romance six months after her breakup from her ex-fiancé, Paul Bernan.

She was photographed smiling and holding hands with businessman Tom Vellante on a date night in Santa Monica on Sunday.

She wore a flowy white dress with a plunging neckline, and the two were spotted holding hands walking into a restaurant.

They went to Giorgio Baldi, which is pretty romantic.

And it's also like big celeb hotspot.

I wonder who got the reservation.

She might not want to be seen.

Him or her.

Well, of course, that's true too, but but it's also hard to get a table.

Who do you think got the reservation?

Him or her?

Oh,

him.

I feel like she likes, you know, tradition.

Yeah, yeah, I think she's tradition.

And she looks gargie-pargy.

This is nice, you know?

I feel like these are the types of guys like the OG housewives of New York are always like dying to find when they go out.

Like businessmen, like this is the type of guy like Ramona Luan would eat alive in 35 seconds.

So good to see her out here like slaying the game, slaying the dating game.

Yeah, especially because things like got kind of low for her when like Paul moved on with Aurora.

Like that's kind of hard to come back from.

1,000%.

And now like she's just one, not that it's a competition between the two of them, but if it were, like, now she's just one-upped him.

And it's not a competition, but it's not.

No, but

in any breakup, like you're keeping tabs.

Of course, it reminds me, of course, of when Joe Jonas and Gigi Hadid broke up.

Kind of one of my great, one of, I know, I know I reference it a lot, but I feel like we can learn a lot from that time.

Like he was definitely, you know, hitting out of his league.

Gigi Hadid is super model, supermodel.

And

they were such a great couple.

And I feel like it did really good things for his like image, too.

And when they broke up, that was tough.

Like, where do you go from there?

How do you get better than Gigi Hadid?

And you know what?

He absolutely slayed with his next, with his next get, which was Sophie Turner, which I feel like is a good transition.

Are we talking about...

Yes, is the perfect transition just moved around my stories because Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner finalized their divorce after a messy custody battle.

No, not sorry.

I love a good seg.

I feel like that was like really, I know it was so messy, but I do feel like once they decided, they obviously had a talk during all that crazy press and was like, listen, let's handle this privately, like for the sake of whatever.

And I think they kind of turned that around really quickly.

And it's been very quiet ever since then.

And divorces notoriously take a long time, especially when somebody lives in another country, I mean, in another state, let alone another country.

I feel like they kind of tied this up really pretty, really quickly, really quietly.

I think it's been a year because I remember this time last year, we were talking about them splitting up and it was like August, September, October.

So according to TMZ, the X's came to a settlement on Tuesday.

Though the details are confidential, information about their child custody agreement for their daughters is also unclear.

Good.

In light of finalizing his divorce, he's saying a rendition of U2's I still haven't found what I'm looking for during the Jonas Brothers show in Dublin on Tuesday night.

Oh, they finally made it to the European leg of their tour.

I feel like people are always looking for meaning in things that are not meaningful.

Like you go go to Ireland, you're obviously going to sing and you have to do a cover.

Like YouTube is the pride of Ireland.

That's

a good point.

You also have to think about what you two songs, the Jonas Brothers fans, are going to know, right?

It's a totally different generation.

This is a known song, but it's not Beautiful Day.

It's a Beautiful Day.

That song is so good.

Yeah.

You two, I want to say, and I know this is a crazy thing, and I think that I'm still going to say it.

I don't know if you two ever fully recovered from that free album they put on everyone's phone.

Now, if you're really young, first of all, like, welcome.

I can't believe you're listening to our show.

Second of all, you might not remember there was a time where YouTube did a partnership with Apple that like they were giving away free versions of their album.

So if you had an iPhone, you just woke up one day and this brand new album.

iPod.

Oh, was it iPod?

I believe so.

No, I feel like it was in our phones, which made it even more of an assault.

Like for real.

You would wake up one day and like you just had this brand new YouTube album in your phone that you did not ask for.

And it backfired so poorly.

Like you would think, like, we're giving away free music.

What's the problem?

It felt really like an invasion of our privacy.

And at the time, like, no one was interested in listening to YouTube's new music.

And I feel like it did a lot of damage to their brand, to their reputation.

To me, like, I can't think of YouTube without talking about that.

Yeah, Forbes, how Apple and YouTube made an unforgettable blunder.

No, it's true.

Who is to blame?

I don't know who's to blame because I'm sure they were paid handsomely for it and that's fabulous, but seriously, not okay.

I never, I stayed there, dust collected round my pinned up pair.

Like, I'm right there.

I'm right where you left me.

When it comes to you two, honestly, his daughter being in the perfect couple, that has moved it along for me a little bit.

Oh, I'm, that's setting me back.

That was not a good one for me.

No, but I mean, and it's moving me along and thinking about something else.

When I hear you two.

So back to Joe Jonas, him choosing that song, I feel like it can be explained in a multitude of ways.

Now, what are you two's biggest songs?

Beautiful Day, Alternative,

YouTube.

And I feel like Anna still

haven't found that.

Like, that's a big one.

What I'm looking for,

it is a big one.

And you also have to think about, like, some people can't just sing any song.

You need to sing a song that's good for you.

You register.

It's true.

He might have been limited.

Just want to say, I don't know if it was so Sophie coded, you know?

Yes.

No, I think you've made both points.

Also, with or without you, what's that?

I have actually no idea.

I still haven't found what I'm looking for is top five.

So I, you could be correct.

It's like if an international artist came over here and like, what are they going to do?

They're going to sing a Taylor Swift song.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

Can we talk about Chapel Roan really quick?

I know you like.

Yeah, no, I almost like made a story, but I was like, So Chapel Roan is taking the world by storm.

And like, I've officially let the music wash over me.

Like it is, and I'm holding space.

I'm in a very serious way, like, holding space for two truths, right?

I think it's some of the best music.

Ben is obsessed with Pink Pony Club.

Like, he wants to make a remix of it.

It really is.

Her music is so good.

Like, and now there's a new song that she performed, and people are waiting for it.

Called Subway, like, it sounds so good.

I'm holding space for two truths.

I think she's probably one of the most talented musicians of our time.

Like, and I think she'll be huge if

she doesn't get in her own way because she has now done a handful of interviews.

And I want to say,

she seems insufferable.

Like, all she does is complain.

And you know me, I live to complain.

But she's just like...

Like, complain and like yell at everyone.

And she's like, yells at the fans in the world.

And, you know, don't take pictures of me.

Don't call me by my name.

So, Chapel Rona is not her real name.

It's her stage name.

And I think she looks at her

on stage persona, kind of like a drag queen, where it's like she wears all this makeup and these outfits.

But if you saw her in real life, you wouldn't even remotely recognize her.

She just looks like a regular girl.

Her real name, I think, is is Kaylee, and she

like, she does not like people using that name ever.

She has a lot of really strict rules and boundaries around how she wants to be famous, which I actually respect to in a certain extent.

I feel like a good example is Sia, right?

What the hell is Sia's real name?

It's not Sia, is it?

And there were many years where we never knew what she looked like because she did the big wig.

There is a way to do it without, I feel, coming off ungrateful.

Yeah, and Sia wasn't always like yelling at everyone.

Yeah.

And it's just with every interview, I'm like, oh my gosh, it's like bitching and moaning about something else.

Like in this, she just, I think, sat down with Vanity Fair,

really gorgeous photo shoot.

And it's like, get to know Chapel Roan.

And she's like mad that she didn't get famous sooner.

And she's mad that people take pictures of her.

And she's mad that HM wants to work with her.

It's like, well, if you're not bettering the world, like, I'm not going to work with you.

And while at its core, that's a message I would agree with, right?

Like, you know, you want to align yourself, especially at an early stage in your career, with brands whose values align with yours, of course.

But like, my God, like, so naggy, so Fibissana.

Yeah.

And the music is the total opposite.

Like, the music is pussy popping.

And I don't know.

It's like, I really am working hard to separate the art from the artist.

I see the music like on Instagram, like people's stories and reels.

So that's like the level, but it's not like I hear it in my daily life.

So because I've seen all this like negativity about her, I'm like, well, now I don't need to go seek it out.

But the thing is, like the music.

Like I hadn't, I hadn't already fallen for it.

And I'm not going to now go and like support this artist.

I think you're missing out.

Like the music.

It's really good.

Like it's some of the best shit ever made, like for real.

Like and I think you would be surprised and it's so embedded in culture now.

Like you said, like you see it in people's stories and stuff.

Like I think you would be surprised if you listened to like her top five songs like how much you would know.

Yeah.

No, I agree with that.

But like because they're not like I don't listen to them.

And I've avoided them for this long, like everything she's doing doesn't make me want to go and stream her music.

I know.

It reminds me a lot of like Billie Eilish, like the Fibissina negative energy, like long face complain.

Like, come on, like, you're a beautiful young girl.

Like, let's go.

Yeah.

Where's the joy?

Where is the joy?

Bring back joy.

Bring back joy.

Bring back joy.

Bring back joy, the movie.

I was about to say,

let's start making more movies like that about successful women being joyful named joy.

Yeah, making products that we all love and use let me tell you she ate with those velvet slimline hangers you know oy did she she changed the world with those hangers now the movie was obviously about her first hero product the mop now i i agree it was a good product but i don't think the mop had seriously as much of a an impact on the culture as those slimline hangers did yeah i still use them of course if you don't you're a savage yeah i mean some people like use pretty like acrylic but you just must have like acrylic like hanging hanging space for days.

No, of course.

And like those plastic hangers are bad for the environment.

They're ugly.

Like Joy is over here revolutionizing things.

And I think we could all take a page out of Joy's book.

I agree.

Are you ready for our next story, which is some more legal news?

Some more?

When was the other legal news?

Joe and Sophie's technically legal news.

Bro, you ate me up.

You're 100% right.

Diddy has been ordered to pay more than $100 million in his sexual assault case.

So Sean Diddy Combs has been ordered to pay up in his legal battle.

The rapper was ordered by a judge in Michigan's Lenouie County Circuit September 9th to pay over $100 million to inmate Derek Lee Cardello Smith, according to court records viewed by E-News.

Wait, just one person gets all this money?

Yes.

The judge granted Cardello Smith's motion for default judgment after Combs did not appear for the September 9th virtual hearing.

Cardello Smith encountered the music mogul while working at a Detroit area restaurant in 1997, according to his lawsuit,

which was obtained by Variety.

The two men went to a party where they began having sex with two women.

I'm just going to trigger warning.

When Combs allegedly touched Cardello Smith, Cardello Smith, who told Detroit Metro Times he's a self-taught student of civil and criminal statutes, then accused Combs

of drugging his drinks.

So he passed out, saying Combs later sexually assaulted him that evening.

Oh my God, what a fucking terrible story.

Yeah.

Oh, when I had saw this, I thought there was like

this $100 million was to go to like, you know, 10 or 11 Jane and John Does, but I didn't realize this was just one case for one person and literally not showing up to your virtual court.

And by the way, you don't even need to show up, your lawyer does.

That's really

wild.

Yes.

Also, per public inmate records, though, Cardello Smith is currently serving jail time on 12 sentences related to criminal sexual conduct and two sentences related to kidnapping.

Oh, so

okay.

That's

confusing.

Wait.

Okay.

I don't know, like, how to, where to go.

Okay.

I guess you can hold space for two things.

Yeah.

Like, I guess.

We're holding more than ever.

We're holding more.

Let's not talk about that guy.

Okay.

Let's just talk about Diddy for a second.

I feel like we all moved on too quickly from the fact that like Pete Diddy, who was just kind of like an American hero, you know, in some ways, not hero, like America's sweetheart, you know?

Yeah.

Everybody loved him.

like living this double life, yeah, and how we've all, I feel, for

especially when you're really into Hollywood and celebrity culture, like it's so easy to like slip into like conspiracy theories about like hedonistic rituals and evil Hollywood predators, and you have to like either like believe it 100% or not believe it because it's every now and then it's like, oh, wait.

And then something like this happens, you're like, wait, because this is P.

Diddy, you know, everybody loves P.

Diddy.

Everybody, everyone's in Hollywood, and they're saying like, this is what his parties were about.

And then you look at everyone who's at his parties.

And just like, you know, with the swinging situation, I don't think everybody who's there is doing like terrible things, but it's not like something that was super hidden, it seems.

No, and it's really hard to not then believe all these crazy things you've heard over the years about like sacrificing babies.

Like, because it's so

huge, P.

Diddy.

Like, he is really, I feel, was the center of like a big Hollywood social scene for, for decades.

Yeah.

So I feel like we all moved on a little too quickly from that.

Like I actually like forgot about it a little bit, you know?

Yeah, well, I guess like things are playing out in the courts and he's got a lot like coming at him.

So now because his victim is serving jail time, like doesn't mean make the crime any less egregious.

It's just kind of like a weird twist at the end of that story.

But disgraceful, like seriously disgraceful.

And to not even show up and like have enough respect for the judicial system, please.

Like it's giving guilty energy.

Yeah.

Also, Diddy's lawyers had said that this man is a convicted felon and sexual predator who has been sentenced on 14 counts of sexual assault and kidnapping over the last 26 years.

His resume now includes committing a fraud on the court from prison, as Mr.

Combs has never heard of him, let alone been served with any lawsuit.

Mr.

Combs, looking forward to having this judgment swiftly dismissed.

It's just a shame because, like,

he's like a liar.

I know.

When you got like a bunch of liars lying, what do honest people do?

I know, but it does also kind of track, right?

Because abuse is a cycle.

Most people who are victims of abuse then become abusers themselves.

And that could be what happened with this guy.

Not that I'm like giving excuses.

I don't know.

Everyone here is guilty.

Okay.

Like, I'm not going to be able to do it.

It's a very yucky situation.

And I wanted to take my foot out of it.

That I had to do.

I agree.

Like, this is not my problem.

Like, you guys are disgusting.

I'm not, not you, listeners, like, the people involved in this.

Like, seriously, I'm trying to like explain.

Get away.

Like, I don't do this.

Wait, I did, though, have a dream that me and Ben killed two people.

And Jackie, it was such a nightmare because, like, we knew that we killed two people and we're just like waiting for people to find out like the police.

And it's so scary.

And I'm just like, like riddled with guilt.

And I know my whole life is about to blow up.

And I also know that I'm sleeping and I know that this is a dream.

And I keep waking up and I'm like, girl, don't worry.

You're going to wake up and go to work.

Like it's not real.

And every time I slip back into sleep, I'm back in the dream.

And it's like, God forbid when I'm having a dream that I'm married to Zach Fran, I could slip right back into it.

Now that one ends swiftly.

That one's gone.

A dream where I've killed two people like on a couch in the middle of a lawn.

I don't know.

It was really weird.

Damn.

I consumed a lot of like, I watched a debate and then I watched like Desperate Housewives and a little bit of Mormon Wives.

So I had like a lot going on in my subconscious.

Okay, well, you had to work it out.

I did.

We worked it out in the remix.

That's great.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

If it's our, uh, yeah, sorry.

Which is kind of like big crossover news.

Like, this is like Sweet Life of Hannah Montana on deck for the new generation, because I don't know if you saw, but Nara Smith was at Ballerina Farm with Ballerini.

You're fucking lying.

Where are you?

Go to ballerina farm stories.

Like literally the imagery, it's better than you can imagine.

So Nara and Lucky both went to the ballerina farm in Utah and were

teaching Nara how to milk a cow.

She was a natural.

She was milking ballerina cows.

She was with ballerina kids.

She brought her

brunch.

Okay, there's the husband.

They're her kids.

She got gifted a snake from one of Valerie's.

Lucky be.

Well, they were in New York literally yesterday for fashion week.

He walked in Ralph Lauren and like she worked it as like an influencer.

Then they did like a big meet and greet.

I saw.

Oh my God.

Nara.

The collab of the century.

No, this is really crazy.

I know.

I need to know what they talked about.

I need to know.

So they obviously like met through Instagram, right?

Oh my God.

I'm dead.

This is so great.

They are both so pretty.

Like,

No, they're so great.

I'm so glad that they're far.

Oh, my God.

This picture of them, their husbands, and each holding their youngest kid.

In front of their house with the American flag.

Do you think that they spent the night?

Because it's far.

They're out in like rural Utah.

But Nara lives in Utah?

No, they live in Texas.

Oh, really?

I think they live in Austin.

Maybe double check.

Where does I don't know why I thought she lived in Utah?

Oh, because they're Mormon.

They are.

No, wait.

At 18, she moved to California.

Where do they live now?

Oh, yeah.

They live in Texas, but she just posted a big vlog.

They're moving to Connecticut.

I think they need to, I think she's really like raking it in with like influencer things, especially in the fashion scene.

And I think proximity to New York is becoming like really important.

It's always been important for him as a model.

And I think he's been the one traveling for work and she stays home with the kids, but she's become a sort of breadwinner too, probably out earning him.

Yeah.

So now it's like they both need to be near New York.

Okay, we'll move, but they still need that rural lifestyle.

So they were looking at these properties in Connecticut.

That's major for Connecticut.

Huge for the Connecticut City.

Yeah, they needed that.

Oh my God, I can't believe these two got together.

That's like, seriously.

It's not even Sweet Life because

Sweet Life, that's a Raven had it.

Like they were all so different.

These are two like very similar queens getting together.

It's giving, you know, the, and I need to think of like a,

I don't know.

I hope they made some content together.

Like, I'm sure they had a fun day, but like, I hope there's more that we can launch from this because that is just like so.

But I think with their new house, they are looking to like have chickens.

I think there was also like a

mission.

Yes, exactly, because they

right now just like live in a house where they like have a pool and a yard and they make their own gum.

But I think with when she was saying in her vlog, they're really looking for something like with land.

Yeah.

And I think the first, it's a slippery slope.

First, you have land, then you have chickens, then you have horses.

And I think they went over there to sort of learn about how they got started.

The ranch lifestyle.

That's really crazy because that's far out of their way to go.

They must be friends.

Yeah.

I mean, they should be.

Yeah.

I think

they're really the same, but they reach different people.

I think Nara really reaches because of TikTok, like a younger audience.

And Ballerini goes for like a little bit older, more moms, more millennial.

Yeah.

And I think people who watch Nara Smith's videos like see it like more aspirationally, but like less like practically.

But her videos are also like she makes them very

in amazement, whereas for ballerina, they watch with a pen and paper.

Yeah, yeah, I think so.

That's really the best news I've heard all day.

Right?

The pictures are really gorgeous.

They're serious Instagram stories.

Hysterical.

Hysterical.

I can't.

Now, we have Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment that is thankfully brought to you by State Farm.

You know, well, let's call it Dear neighbor for today because, like, a good neighbor.

Dear toasters are there.

Exactly.

So, State Farm is, some would say, a core tenant here at the Toast.

They're one of our favorite brands to work with.

We know that our toasters can agree.

There's nothing better than a personal win.

So, like, what's a recent personal win you've had?

For me, it was like, I obviously had swirly summer.

I'm not at the weight that I once was.

I'm like, these pants still fit me.

So, like, pop off, Queen.

Amazing.

What about you?

Personal win for me.

Ooh.

Well, you know, I hit my goal last week of home cooking every single night of the week, which is huge really major for me and i'm actually i i'm on i'm on track for this week too even though i'm not putting the pressure on myself so maybe it's just become like habitual whatever it is that you define as a win it does call for a celebration and does do you have any idea who's cheering right beside you oh that's right

farm

and turdy of course of course of course um so with the state farm personal price plan you can create an affordable price just for you when you bundle home an auto i love that they've made insurance so personal at state farm obviously when it comes to like the relationship you have with your agent, you can really get in contact with them like through that, through the app, through the website, through the phone in real life, like they're super available.

But also when it comes to like that personal price plan, people's lives are so personal, so different.

Like even you and I were so similar.

You read my mind about Glass House, right?

Right.

Even we have such different insurance needs and Safe Farm sees us for like the different independent women that we are.

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So there are a lot of moments in life that call for celebration.

Creating your State Farm personal price plan can be one of them.

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Talk to a state farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with a personal price plan.

Also, something I love about State Farm is like, again, we're so similar, but we really communicate very differently.

And I feel like when I'm looking for help, when it comes to insurance or really anything, like I'm looking for quick, fast, and I don't love talking on the phone.

So they have an award-winning app and website.

Super easy for like, you know, kind of Gen Z, Zelennial, if I will, like myself, to talk to my agent.

But also you, you know, you live a slower life, obviously, not Bright Lights Big City like me.

And so being able to talk to your agent on the phone or even in person, which is like so archaic, they have all different types of agents and all different types of methods of communication to get the job done.

So no matter what type of toaster you are, whether you're a Jax or a Claude, State Farm has the method of communication that works best for you.

Yes.

So there are a lot of moments in life that call for celebration.

Creating your State Farm personal price plan can be one of them.

You can celebrate choosing the insurance coverage that fits your need at a price that you can afford.

So talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with a personal price plan.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state.

Coverage options are selected by the customer.

Availability, amount of discounts, savings, and eligibility vary by state.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

And just to like sort of round it out,

like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Thank you.

And State Farm is the sponsor of Dear Dear Toasters.

Oh my God, throat.

Okay.

Thank you for sponsoring Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment.

So every Wednesday, Jackson and I will take three submissions from the girlies or the boys, of course, who are in need.

And when I say girlies, I don't mean like gender.

I just mean like the girlies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

From the swirlies in need.

So if you ever need advice from us about anything from like work, relationships, family, and you say like, oh, I wish I could hear from Jackson Claude, you actually can.

Email us, deartoasters at gmail.com or head to our website, thetoastpodcast.com.

If you scroll down, there's a little submission box for deer toasters.

Both methods are completely anonymous.

We will not blow your shit up.

And we're just going to try and help, you know?

And if also, if you have written to us and we've given you advice, like, can you please update us on what's going on?

I hate when people leave us hanging.

Even though, hopefully, like, our advice worked out so well for you.

You totally forgot about us because you're busy being happy.

Right.

Hopefully.

Okay.

Hello, ladies.

I need your advice.

My husband and I got into vaping this summer.

Now that fall is here, we agreed that we both should quit.

For the past two weeks, we have quit vaping, but I have secretly been doing it when he's not home.

Do I I need to come clean, try to quit now?

Is this not a big deal?

What do I do?

I mean, this is really a question for La Terte.

I don't even remember when I quit vaping.

But was it like a big thing for you?

Like I mean, I was vaping a lot during COVID and even like before in 2019, like mostly like social vaping.

I never really got to the point where I was like, wake and vape.

You know, it was always.

And it sounds like that's where this girl is because she's doing it when he's not home.

So like during business hours.

For sure.

It was always like an afternoon delight or like with a glass of wine, but I was never like

addicted, addicted, I would say.

So I actually had a pretty easy time quitting, but that's because I got to a place where I really wanted to quit.

Now, I think if you're quitting because like your husband is and like you don't have any, you know, like love for quitting in your heart, it might not stick and it seems like it hasn't stuck.

So I think you need to evaluate

if you do want to quit.

Like for me, like nobody could tell me shit.

I've aped for like three or four years.

Nobody could tell me shit.

Like you could tell me all you wanted.

I saw all the videos, popcorn lung.

Like I was like, it's not going to happen to me.

And like, if it does, like,

if it happens to me, like, I'm happy.

Like, I don't know.

Like, you just, you couldn't.

And then I got to a place, especially in like my fitness journey, where I feel like it was really hindering me.

And I would like to get home from a workout and vape.

Like, okay, what?

And I was so out of breath.

And so it really took a toll on me.

I really, I had this genuine desire to quit that, like, the first two days were super hard.

And then I seriously like moved on with my life.

And I was actually just remarking the other day, like, not me being nine months clean.

Like, okay, Queen.

Nine months sober, I must confess.

Oh, you guys, I must admit, is the lyric.

And please, this is your reminder to remind me that whenever 10 months after January 1st is, please remind me so I can post a picture of me vaping saying, 10 months sober, I must admit, just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it.

Got a reminder.

So when it comes to your husband, like you don't need to come clean, okay?

You're allowed to have secrets, and this isn't like a big damaging one.

If you do want to quit, like start quitting now.

It's never too late.

You can always quit.

And he doesn't need to know that, like, yeah, for a couple of weeks, you can't.

Yeah, if you're good enough to quit, then you don't need need to tell him.

But if you are going to keep vaping, like you said, like Claudia said, like you don't want to quit, you don't have good enough reason to quit.

And like you like vaping, you should share that with him then because like that's if you're doing it in secret, like that's weird.

Yeah.

Now, I just want to say, like, you've only been vaping, you started vaping in the summer.

So it's like, I don't feel like it's been enough time to like really cause any damage.

Like, you're fine.

You mean if she quits now?

Yeah.

And you know what?

Like, I saw something that was really,

what's the opposite of disheartening?

Heartening?

Yeah.

I saw something like a meme that was so heartening when I was like struggling with really wanting to quit, but like not being able to.

And then I did it on New Year's.

I was like, okay, it's over.

It was like a picture of like your heart, or it was like a bunch of statistics.

Like, this is what happens after one day of not vaping, one month, and one year.

And it was like, you can really get your lungs back to like really good capacity after a year.

And so it made me feel good that like the damage I did wasn't so permanent.

Yeah.

So just know, I'm not trying to convince you to keep vaping.

That is what it sounds like.

Just know, like, there is life after vaping.

I was also really worried that like when I drank, I wasn't going to enjoy drinking anymore because the best part of vaping for me was like vaping drunk.

Like, oh, my God.

And let me tell you, I've had many a cocktail since then.

It's completely fine.

I also think for this girl, it's easier to quit now.

The shorter you're doing something, the easier it is to quit.

Then like if it really has become a part of your life after a year, like it's much harder.

to go back to old habits.

So I would quit now if you're even, if you're wanting to.

I would recommend quitting as well, but I don't think you need to tell your husband, like, just get back to quitting.

Like, just get fat in any time.

Right, right.

I agree.

Just get back to it.

And by the way, your husband's definitely cheating too.

Like, let's be real.

It's so hard.

And in terms of like tangible, people always ask me like tangible things that they did.

Did you use like a non-nicotine?

They make different vapes that are like totally non-nicotine, non-tobacco that are fine for you.

I didn't.

I just went cold turkey, and I think that's the best way to do it.

Yeah.

Chewed a lot of gum.

Oh, and just know, like, you will gain five to 10 pounds.

Like, it is what it is.

It was also an appetite stimulant.

Hey, girly swirlies.

Yeah, you know what I mean.

Thank you.

Hey, girly swirlies, my boyfriend of two and almost two and a half years seems to be allergic to the words, I love you.

At our two-year mark, we were deciding if we were going to move in together, and I finally worked up the nerve to address it and told him I couldn't move in if we hadn't said these words yet, because what's the point?

He essentially said he doesn't know for sure and proceeded to ask, how would I know?

Like, we're at the Learning Annex or something.

Mind you, we're in our early 30s.

I explained how I felt and how I knew after a long conversation.

He finally said, you know, I do.

I thought, few, okay.

We moved in together and that was in May.

He still doesn't say the words, I love you, like ever.

His actions say he loves me, so it's not really like I question it, but he's still not a, but it's not like, sorry, he still doesn't say the words, I love you.

His actions say he loves me, so it's not really like I really question that he does, but obviously not, he's still not 100% sure if he won't even say it.

I'm not happy with it, but I'm so happy with him and I love our life together.

Am I Dolulu thinking he loves me and it's okay that he won't say it?

Or should I press the issue more and possibly break my own heart?

I just want to say, like, you making it to the two-year mark with your boyfriend never saying, I love you.

Like, you are a greater woman than I.

For sure.

But honestly, it's giving Shaylene an Aaron.

Like, I feel like he's an Aaron where he loves you.

He doesn't need to say it.

And also, it's kind of a good question.

Like, how do I know?

How do you explain like what love is?

It's really like a feeling.

And you, when you know, you know.

But, like, I could understand if he's a very like practical person.

How do you know?

It's kind of of like my favorite quote from A Walk to Remember: Love is like the wind, like, you can only feel it, you can't, like, see it or touch it or explain it.

Now,

I think that if what's most important here is that he shows you that he loves you, and you feel loved, but he's just not like saying it all the time because that's better than the opposite, right?

Like, someone who disrespects you, but it's constantly like telling you that they love you.

That's true.

And if your relationship otherwise is like totally good, it's just this like one thing.

Some people are weird about the word.

Some people like didn't grow up being told that they love you.

Their parents didn't say it to each other.

They like just aren't as comfortable with that word as other people are.

So if what you're saying is true that like everything else is really great and your relationship is where it should be.

It's just like he's funny about this word.

I think it's workable.

I'm a little too comfortable with the word.

I actually thank you for reminding me.

I said it to somebody yesterday and it was the third time ever meeting them.

Yeah, I say it all the time, but but also, but like I say it love you bye.

Like there's the love ya.

Yeah.

I get off the phone like with State Farm, love ya, bye.

Oh my God, it's so embarrassing.

But I also, like, when I, I have the depth where I say it to where like it means something.

No, I think your point about like some people really have a, not an aversion, but it's not a part of their everyday lingo because it's so much like about how you grew up and like your parents and parents saying it to you and parents saying it to each other.

Like we grew up in a family where like we all give each other lots of kisses and lots of love, like very affectionate verbally, physically.

And so that's why we say it the way that we do.

So you have to come from a place of understanding that like this person probably did it.

I do think it's really crazy to be two years into a relationship and never having said it.

No, but then they got past, like she already did that.

So then it was like two and a half years.

I'm just stuck there with that fact.

Honestly,

she put in that work.

Then it's two and a half years.

They're moving in together.

He lets her know in a roundabout way that he does love her without really being able to say, I love you.

And now he doesn't say it.

as a college.

Okay, so you know what?

Part of being in a relationship is like giving your partner what they need.

And so I feel like if you communicate, you say he's like a very good boyfriend, understanding he makes you feel safe.

Like, so if you say to him, listen, like kind of like love languages, like, I need to hear words of affirmation that you love me.

Like, that's what I need.

What do you need?

I think having that conversation is fair and like giving him an opportunity, like being like, I know you're like not that type of person, but like, that's just what I need in this relationship to feel safe.

What do you need?

Yeah, I don't know, but it could end up like Shaylene and Aaron, where it's like, you guys just feel like.

Well, then Shaylene and Aaron weren't meant to be together.

So

just saying.

Just saying.

I think having a conversation is so fair.

Yeah, of course.

You should communicate that.

But what if he can't?

What if like it just doesn't occur to him to use like to if you stop him, he'll say, yes, I love you.

But like in everyday small moments, like if it's not a part of his vocabulary, he's not going to remember to say it.

Well, like a really good partner would work on it because you express that it means something to you and it's something you need, like a validation.

Good luck.

Yeah.

I feel like like deep into my relationship, Ben and I finally started talking about like acts of service and like those love languages.

I thought it was like kind of boohickey like I'm like, no, but then you become a podcaster and everyone has to do the love language quiz.

And by the way, let me tell you, it was super helpful.

Yeah.

Like when me and Ben took the quiz, I remembered his and I think he remembers mine.

Mine is totally acts of service, right?

Like obviously I'm so lazy.

Ben's is so words of affirmation and like time together.

And so like once I kind of I knew that Ben liked that, but once I like put it into words and phrases, I was like, okay, that's how I know how to be like a good wife.

No, and you were probably doing all this other stuff that you you thought was showing him

that you loved him and it like wasn't moving the needle when it's like, if you just channel your energy in a different way.

No, we clown on love languages, but let me tell you, identifying, identifying your own and your partners

is helpful.

Maybe take the quiz with him seriously.

Yeah.

Seriously.

Yeah.

That's my advice.

Okay, this one's like so crazy.

And it's our third and final.

Dear Jackson Claude, my husband and I recently left town for a long weekend and we left our kids with our babysitter who we've used many times over the last year and a half.

She's always been over the top, great with the kids.

She's also a nurse.

Dream come true.

On this trip, we set up a camera in our master bedroom because we have cleaners, dogs, etc.

The babysitter had her own room and bathroom.

I started to realize I was getting a lot of notifications on this master bedroom camera, so I glanced quickly and realized the babysitter on multiple occasions was in our bedroom searching through every drawer.

bedside table, cabinet, closet.

At one point, she enters the room with a bag and appears to be thinking about taking things.

She only took an old sweatshirt.

On our outdoor ring camera, we also saw she took a bag of toilet paper and paper towels.

We immediately flew back with the excuse my husband had like that someone came up for work.

I have not paid her.

I have not confronted her about the situation.

After seeing the videos, I worry she could be like kind of unhinged.

I also worry I will never be able to trust another sitter again.

Yeah, you got to worry about the unhingedness.

Yeah.

I want to say like somebody stealing toilet paper and paper towels like in this economy, I understand.

Like to me, that's, it's not giving deranged, but like stealing someone's old sweatshirt, like that's giving like kind of crazy person.

Now, I would pay her and I wouldn't say anything to her because what?

Is she gonna fix her behavior and you'll trust her with your kids?

No.

So like pay her be like, oh, thank you so much.

And then ghost her.

You never need to see her again.

Yeah.

She could think, you know, you never left town again.

I agree.

And that's going to keep a crazy, a potential crazy person at bay, right?

Like, no bad blood.

Pay her.

Oh, thank you so much.

Bye.

Never again.

That's what I'm saying.

Because I would say activate a crazy person.

Then she'll come over to your house and like in the middle of the day.

Yeah, if you don't pay her, she'll come over looking for her money.

Like she was taking toilet paper.

She's not not about to let her paycheck go.

But now I need you to talk about like, how do you then trust someone else?

Oh, I mean, every person is different, but you do have to do like a lot of vetting.

And I think also like spending time with the person before you leave for a trip or to leave for work, like to really establish trust before you have to trust them.

Because you can't, trust is built and it's earned.

It's not just something that like you flip a switch and you're like, I trust this person that I don't know.

So I think to judge the next person based on what the previous person did is not fair, but definitely to learn lessons is fair.

And what is like, because I remember always, everything comes back to the nanny diaries, Scarlett Johansson's best work.

And she discovers there's like a nanny cam in the

eye of the

family.

And I feel like in movies and TV, they talk about nanny cams a lot

as like this kind of crazy thing.

But I feel like, is it like not that crazy?

Like, is your kid with, you know, like?

No, it's not that crazy.

And also nowadays, like, everyone has cameras inside their homes, outside of their homes.

There's Blink, there's Google Nest, like everyone has cameras in their house or at least in, and there's baby monitors.

So I think when you're putting the only thing about like those nanny cams, it's like you're putting it somewhere where the person doesn't know that there's a camera.

But I think nowadays everyone should expect that there are cameras.

I guess that's true.

That's a difference between like a nanny cam and just like all the cameras that people have for like baby monitors and stuff.

It's like you see it mounted to the wall

versus like incognito.

But I just don't think it's that crazy.

No, I that's how you establish trust.

Right, right, right.

But like Scarlett Johansen was really pissed when she found it.

Yeah, she was.

But she was also on the brink of like some sort of breakdown at that moment in time in the film.

She's like, she's taking the kids' room apart.

She wasn't like actually mad about finding it.

She was like, she was mad and then she found it and she gave her diatribe because they were listening.

Yeah.

That's the funniest.

By the way, that movie is so good.

It is.

We re-watched it recently.

It's really good.

10 out of 10.

So those were dear toasters hopefully the swirlies get the help that they so desperately need if again you want to write in it's deartoasters at gmail.com or head over to our website thetoastpodcast.com

and we gave you so many movie recommendations today Little Children first.

United 93.

United Nanny Dietrich.

The Nanny Diaries, Glass House.

And by the way, not Little Children.

That was not a recommendation.

No, I was kidding, but in all seriousness, like seriously, United 93.

If you're going to watch Tommy Tonight, like you need something, it's really a very powerful movie.

Yes, agreed.

It's a movie I feel like is so like I could really, I only seen it once, and I cried so hard.

I don't know if I could ever watch it again.

Yeah, I agree with that.

But I think it's once is enough to like just know what happened.

Exactly.

So, thank you guys so much for listening to the Toasta Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So, if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts anywhere podcasting any found at Spotify, June Sister Public Radio, or to Guest Box, all the way to the place website.

Podcast by Toastmaster First Review, about a beautiful setting in what killer talented we are.

Love ya.

Bye.