¡Dale! & Make Haste: Tuesday, August 20th, 2024

Good morning, Millennials.

And welcome.

Welcome to the Toast Podcast.

Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome,

welcome, welcome to the toast podcast.

Bum, bum.

Welcome back to the toast.

So, turdy, how authentic do we want to be right now?

You know, we we did not have this chat offline, but we need to lead with authenticity because you guys know any sort of

vigilance in our show kills us.

Absolutely kills us.

You know, I was actually just going to like sail right past it, but since you brought it up, we have to address today's episode.

Okay, okay.

You guys, you beat it out of us.

We're recording the night before.

We're recording the night before.

That's why there's no video because it's super late.

We're in our jamas, which is very exciting because you know you get a different Jackson Claude when you get late night Jackson Claude.

And we're both wearing pajamas that we bought as gifts for each other.

No, I'm so sorry, but these are my In My Sundays, even though they do look like the Eber J ones.

Okay.

So we're both wearing In Mays.

We'll cut that out.

We're both wearing In My Sundays, and Claudia is wearing the ones that I procured for her from the In My Sundays swirlies.

And are we going to tell everyone why we're recording?

So I'm going to the city tomorrow for the day for something really exciting that I think I'll probably like share tomorrow.

But just in case, I don't know.

It's like not my.

It's not your story.

It's not my story to tell.

I'm very excited.

It's all good stuff, but I'll be out of pocket, as they say.

Yeah, Jax is traveling.

Lone Traveler.

Lone Traveler tomorrow.

So, there was like no time for me to podcast tomorrow, so it had to be a night before a situation.

And as you guys know, a night before a situation is just kind of a recipe for disaster, a special situation, and you know that, like, we have to tell you.

So, I wasn't going to.

I just, I'm gonna be honest.

So, what were you gonna say?

What's the reason for no video?

What were you gonna say?

Let's continue.

What were we gonna say?

I'll tell you.

Let's continue with the transparency.

I'm gonna be honest with the audience and tell them, yeah, I was planning on lying.

And what did Jackie Brown say about no video?

The only explanation, there will be no explanation.

There will only be reputation.

People think reputation Taylor's version is coming out like tomorrow.

They always think that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, like, they've been thinking tomorrow.

People are the same as they were three months ago.

Yeah, but the last Taylor show for two months is tomorrow.

So, a lot of people think, you know, tomorrow's the day, tonight's the night.

Oh, so you mean tomorrow or today?

No, I don't know.

Oh, let's not play this game.

We're going to be honest because, no, so I'm saying tomorrow, but today when people listen.

So, hopefully, we'll know soon is all to say.

All of this to say.

Yeah, we're recording the night before.

You're okay.

We're a bunch of liars.

Oh my God.

Do you know who was in the Hamptons?

We're literally not lying because I told you guys.

You guys know, like, I could never not be honest.

We literally said good morning, Millennials, and it's literally midnight.

Well, that's boilerplate.

Yeah.

I forgot to talk to you about this offline.

So let's just have a chat.

Okay, you're pulling me for a chat.

Okay, Tommy Fury.

Do you know like who was in the Hamptons?

Like,

everyone.

Well, of course, but like yesterday.

And I'm surprised we didn't sort of feel the cosmic shift.

Jellyroll.

Okay, wait, you're really close.

Jelly Roll.

Jelly Rolly.

No, at the same event as Jelly Roll.

Oh, wait.

Okay.

I saw two people who were at the event.

It was like the Sirius XM event.

John Hamm.

Why the fuck would we care that John Hamm was in the Hamptons?

Oh, he's a handsome guy.

John Hamptons.

Yeah.

No.

He's a hamsome guy.

So Jelly Roll went to this event and the ham.

It was his event, Jelly Roll.

Sirius XM.

It was Sirius XM's event, and they brought their best and brightest to like and like honestly like another hamptons affair that like we would have loved and that we weren't invited to do you want to know why we weren't invited because you know who the co-hosts were jelly roll howard stern and our nemeses themselves the new big podcast at serious xm smartless yeah those freaks were there and let me say something you would think that they would invite us just to like keep us close you know

to keep their eye on us because we're just like

chomping at the bit.

And I thought you would find this interesting.

I did.

Honestly, I saw a good amount of stuff about jelly roll in the hamptons because i do feel like that's like kind of a shocking headline yeah he's so not hamptons so not hamptons and i didn't see that smartless was there even though it was like their big affair so and i also didn't see howard stern was there even though he like lives in the hamptons i'm going to show you a picture of what jason bateman currently looks like do you know what he's currently looking like in terms of like no because i don't like i don't i don't look left and i don't look right like you just look straight i just look straight forward at the future.

Well, my head is on a swivel and I'm constantly looking at everyone and everything.

And I was really shocked.

I keep my head down and I grind.

Okay.

And I want you to give like, since we are not doing video today, I want you to give like an audible reaction to this like new look he is sporting.

Okay.

Shock.

Oh, thanks for that big audible reaction.

Is it a role?

He actually kind of like looks good.

Like he looks cut, even though he's always eating and talking about food, you know?

Like he looks like

chiseled.

Don't know what he looks like.

He looks like one of those

men from the Geico commercial.

He looks like Wilson, Tom Hanks movie.

You know what?

Overboard.

I reference Wilson all the time.

It's not Overboard.

And I have never seen that.

Stranded.

What's that movie called?

Keep guessing.

Strandberries?

So close.

Man Overboard.

Castaway.

Okay.

And I've never seen that movie, but I reference like, you know, having a friend as a volleyball and a volleyball as a friend, excuse me.

And I do want to know, and I think maybe seeing the movie would answer this question for me almost immediately.

Is the ball's name Wilson?

Because like Wilson is the name of a brand of.

Yeah, because the volleyball says Wilson on it because it was a Wilson volleyball.

I just want to say in all the pictures I see of Wilson, like he kind of looks generic brand.

Oh, no, you're right, Wilson.

Let me see.

Well, because this is always what I see.

Like he drew a little face on the ball.

Oh.

But they're Wilson.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

I just want to say I came to that conclusion on my own.

I'm not.

Brilliant.

Yeah, I'm kind of like a step above everyone else, but just can never.

So Jason Bateman looks Wilson.

I actually think he looks not bad per se.

What's your favorite era of Jason Bateman?

I guess arrested development.

I guess, but can we talk about how annoying his fucking character was like such a narc?

Yeah.

And like, I feel like he was always doing like narcie things for the sake of keeping the family together when he was like low-key selfish for him.

And what was his kid's name?

Michael Sarah?

Michael Douglas.

That show is like George Michael.

George Michael.

That show was seriously not real.

It was actually so good.

So good.

But I just want to say Jason Bateman came extremely close to ruining it.

Yeah.

And his character.

He thought he was saving his family, but I feel like if he were out of the equation, like nothing would have actually changed in their lives.

Like he wasn't holding anything together.

If he was out of the equation, like seriously, how copacetic everyone would have lived, like he was low-key a torturer beyond.

Like they were not living in reality and like that was going for

them.

No, and I think he really like held up a mirror to Job specifically when like Job didn't need to see that.

You know?

And like Job would have been fine and Job would have never known if he didn't see.

Portia DeRossi is in that show.

Yeah.

She's a sister.

It's kind of an amazing show.

It is.

And that's your rested development recap 30 years later.

That's so us.

That's so us.

Oh, my God.

Class.

What's new with you since this morning?

What's new with me since this morning?

I like that.

Like, low-key class.

We had like a really nice day.

I've been up your butt since this morning.

You've been up mine as well.

Okay, don't be rude.

Oh, I have to tell you something.

You farted?

It's so crazy.

Well, maybe.

It's so crazy because

I went up to my mom.

We did a podcast together in the morning, like, we haven't eaten anything since we're.

No.

But now that it's late at night.

Yeah, and we actually.

We had a big dinner.

Big dinner.

We went hard on a pint of ice cream.

We shared a pint of ice cream.

I had something I wanted to do.

So harmoniously, I want to say.

Yeah, we, I was actually.

And kind of like unexpected.

We'd never done that before.

Yeah.

And it's not my flavor of choice, by the way.

Well, I think that's also better sometimes because if it's the best flavor ever, you just gobbled de-goop it and maybe we wouldn't have shared it.

This one.

This is so gobble-de-gooped.

This one I was like happy to pass it back to you.

I was also happy when it came back.

Yeah, I was like a happy giver and a happy receiver.

And I'm such a toxic ice cream sharer because like the way I dig, dig, dig, dig for like the big chunks because we had chocolate chip, cookie-dough.

And like you know, my ass was looking for the chocolate chips and the cookie dough.

Oh, and then I get upstairs and I'm giving Ben a hug and he literally grabs me by the neck and he's like, what the fuck?

I had the biggest smear of chocolate all over my neck.

He's like, you look like you've been stabbed.

Like it looks like dry blood, but that's not what I wanted to tell you.

So we've been together all day, up each other's butts.

I have nothing new to recap with you on, except I've been upstairs for five minutes and I have something to tell you.

Oh my God, something happened.

I don't mean to like start, you know, a divide, but Ben said something about your bread.

My bread today?

Yeah.

It wasn't all the way risen.

It was overproofed.

So he said, like, oh, I think he smelled the bread and he was like, oh, it smells good.

He's like, I hope the loaf is better than today.

And I'm like, no, she over like, I'm like, it's not a big deal.

Don't be worried.

Like, like, she overproofed it.

And then I was like, I'm just going to tell her that you said that and you can't have bread anymore.

And he's like, no, please don't tell her.

Totally.

Yeah, just so you know, she's like a hater.

The thing is, I'm not offended, but we should use that as a way for him to not eat bread anymore because, like, we can't keep bread on the shelves around here.

Is this a safe space where I could say something like really fat?

It's always been a safe space.

Them loaves of sourdough are not big.

Like, okay, let me just tell you something.

Especially, I cut like a healthy slice, not like these little, these little girl slices.

I cut a man's slice, two of my slices, and we're at the nubs of the bread.

Yeah, I did try to make bigger loaves.

I know.

And it wasn't good.

And Lee, we need bigger loaves.

Honestly, not to give you more work.

We need more loaves.

I'm working around the clock, Turdy.

I'm tired of this, Grandpa.

That's too damn bad.

It's 10 o'clock.

I have the oven preheating out for my loaf that I'm going to leave you guys for tomorrow.

I'm not even going to be able to do it.

She's traveling tomorrow.

She's not leaving you a loaf.

That's huge of you.

Because I'm leaving so early in the morning, I won't have time to cook it in the morning.

So I'm like, you could also leave us instructions.

Oh, I could.

If you don't want to wait up tonight for your bread, I'm just letting you know.

Like, I would do it.

That's true.

No, I'll just do it.

Otherwise, you won't have like edible bread till like one o'clock.

No, and I'm not just saying this to blow smoke up.

Be honest, I don't know how to go back to life without this bread.

What is that company?

Because Olivia has really been into this.

It's wild grain.

It's real sourdough, but they just ship it frozen.

Yeah, they send it from like artisan bakers like me who have micro bakeries and they send you like you know

like it's people like small

bigger than you bigger than me but it's just like a girl with a dream by the way that is how i can i'm gonna have sourdough in my life but maybe i'll just send you home with some of of my starter you could put it in the fridge if you and ben ever decide that you want to start okay startering you'll have it in your fridge because like for me to ship it to you would be too hard yeah yeah yeah okay i'll take some home with me that's a good idea Rebecca sent me a picture.

She was at the farmer's market this weekend and she saw a table like someone was selling their starter.

That's so smart.

So smart.

In what, like a little mason jar?

Yeah, exactly.

In a little mason jar.

I'll tell you how much it was going for.

It's like genius.

I went to a local farm here and they had, they didn't have starter.

They had all their breads made and it was all sourdough, but yeah, it's sourdough this.

And I was like, sorry, I can't.

And then I came home and everybody had eaten all the bread and I was like, damn, I could really use this.

I know a couple times I've been like ordering from Citerella and they have sourdough.

And I'm like, I would feel foolish, but like, we don't have a loaf right now and I want sourdough.

It's extremely foolish.

So here is the sourdough at the farmer's market.

In little mason jars.

That's $17 a jar.

Let me say something about that girl, Rebecca.

She is always at a farmer's market.

Let me tell you something about her.

She's been going to farmer's markets since we were in college.

Like there used to be a a farmer's market in town.

That's so cute.

I never went.

Did she have a kitchen in her dorm?

Um, no, not until we were like living in apartments, but like you could just get like fresh fruit.

Like she's upset, she's been obsessed with fruit since I knew her.

And like I only became into fruit when I got pregnant with Harry.

Like I was craving fruit.

And then when you have children, you always have fresh fruit around.

So fruit has become a part of my life, like in motherhood.

Unwillingly.

And now I can understand where she's been coming from.

I love fruit.

Yeah.

I like it too now, but she like literally would go to the farmer's market all the time when we were in college.

I never went once.

Like now, oh my, what an amenity.

Yeah.

Like a Sunday morning, like fresh fruit, fresh bread, fresh jams, fresh honey.

When fruit is like prepared, peeled, and cut for you, not and then like sold at a grocery store.

Like someone in your house does it for you.

Or if you're like on vacation, oh my God, that is luxury.

Yeah.

Fruit is so good.

The fruit is all about the presentation.

And it's also about, and I know you're really like picky about non-GMO organic.

And I just want to say, like

the GMOs taste good.

Like, the fruit is very good.

They make it look nice.

Yeah.

Sometimes like I go for the, I do buy jumbo blueberries at the grocery store and they're not organic because they wouldn't look like that if they were.

No, I think that what they, whatever they're pumping into the fruit, I know it's killing us all.

It's so good.

Like it's worth it.

I pick and choose.

Like on the one hand, sometimes people say like organic is like.

nonsense and I've seen like both arguments, but then I do think organic isn't nonsense.

I don't know.

Some of these

I'll never quit those big blueberries.

Bruised Bruised apples that are like when I go grocery shopping, only with you, I'll like take a look at the organic section.

Like, it's giving sad.

Yeah.

Everything is shriveled.

Everything is bruised.

Everything is small.

And everything looks like it tastes gross.

I know, but like, that's what God wanted you to eat.

No, no, but I refuse to, like, that's not what the architect wants.

And you would have never known that that wasn't the ideal until you saw like a genetically modified fruit.

Even something as small as an apple.

It's simple and somehow complex.

Claudia didn't realize that like in order to plant an apple tree, like you just needed apple seeds.

That's literally not at all how that conversation went.

That's not.

I started with a pine cone.

Thank you.

That's what we were talking about.

No, I knew that a seed would make a tree.

I'm not fucking stupid.

But

we were walking on like pine cones and somebody was like, if you bury a pine cone, it makes a tree.

I'm like, A pine cone isn't a seed?

I didn't know that like a whole pine tree would be grown if you buried a pine cone.

And I don't think that's stupid of me to not know, honestly.

No, I agree with you.

They don't tell you that about pine cones, that there are little seedlings like running around.

But I know that like you said it about apples and you didn't, you acted like you didn't know that.

What do you mean I made it about apples?

You mentioned apples.

I actually didn't, but keep going with.

And you were like, that makes how you get an apple tree?

No fucking way did I say that.

That's literally what you said.

Such a liar.

So what'd you say?

I said I didn't know that if you've been a pine cone.

So we did talk about apples?

I don't think so.

Okay, we did.

I do.

So, maybe you guys didn't continue the conversation without me because you're always leaving me out.

Maybe that's what it is.

Yeah, maybe we were just like, Does she even know anything?

Yeah, is this bitch so stupid?

Did you know?

Let me ask you a question: Before that, were we on a hike?

Where were we?

Okay, yeah, we were walking a walk.

So, before that conversation, did you know that a pine cone in the ground makes a pine tree?

No, I'm woman enough to admit no.

Thank you.

That I did not know that.

And is a pine tree a Christmas tree?

Yeah, yeah, pine.

Yeah,

chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

Not to get like ahead of myself, but it's low-key almost that time of year.

Yeah.

Yeah.

At this time of year, like even when one door is closing and like one month is ending, like there is excitement on the horizon.

Yeah.

It's not like the beginning of the year where like every month is more dreadful than the next.

Like seriously, it's such desperate times.

Now it's like, okay, like summer's ending, but then we have September vibes where it's still really nice out, but we can, you know, maybe put on a cold, a cute little sweater.

And then when September's over, it's like, oh, it's almost time for Thanksgiving.

Well, Halloween.

Like, it's really, it's such an exciting couple of months.

And then my birthday is right in there.

Birthday.

How old are you turning?

17.

That's like not that old.

You feel seriously 39 to me.

That's just not in, not in how you look in your level of maturity and wisdom.

In the sense that, like, you've accomplished a lot.

I think I'd rather like feel, I don't know, actually, what's worse, like to feel

39 and be 32, or like, oh, she seems like she's 25.

She's got some, you know.

Yeah, I think that's what people say about me.

Right.

I don't know.

I prefer like, oh, I realize that I'm actually not.

I think that's not that there's there's anything wrong with being 39.

No, I think that the stage of life that you're in, for me to say to you, like, oh, you feel 39, it's honestly because, like, you're not one of these, like, new frazzled moms.

Like, you've just got it down.

You've like been doing motherhood for like 30 years.

You literally feel 60, honestly.

Like, and not in looks, just in vibes.

And if even if I was in looks, that'd be okay.

Well, I know it wouldn't.

Oh my god.

It wouldn't be okay.

You're 32.

If I said you look 60, like you should be mad at me.

But I'm saying, like, the look of a 60-year-old is beautiful.

It is, of course, so beautiful.

So you told me I look 60.

Like, that would just, like, probably mean 60.

If I told you I look 60, that would mean you look bad, but that doesn't mean 60-year-olds are bad.

Do you know what I mean?

Yes.

But even if you told me I look six, like, that would be bad too.

No, it wouldn't.

No.

What do I look?

Like, let's be real.

I'm going to say something right now.

And this is going to be probably unpopular and out of pocket, but I'm going to say it, right?

Like, telling someone they look younger than they are is obviously better, you know, because we're in a youth obsessed It's like the same way like when you comment on someone's weight It's like so different being like eat a cheeseburger or go to the gym like sorry Those two insults are not the fucking same because even though they're both inappropriate like telling someone they're too skinny when like the world is like skinny is like a good value in this people are obsessed with like too much of the good value right like please like so

hard and i obviously say this is someone who's never been told to eat a cheeseburger but i have been told the opposite like a million times and i'm just telling you there's no way the two feel the same no there's just not and you like

the skinnies have been trying to make like, he told me to eat a cheeseburger.

They've tried to try to make it happen.

They want in on the fun.

They want in on like the victim.

Yeah, of course everyone does.

I ain't buying it.

It's not the same.

No, I totally agree, but can you blame them for wanting in on the fun?

And like, what about us?

You know, by the way, I'm sure it's like, it's just like Dacomi Johnson.

Like, it's not easy all the time.

But it's different.

And that's struggles.

For sure.

But let's not pretend Dakota's struggles are the same as ours.

No, no, we're not.

But like, I can understand

that she has struggles and like being told to eat a cheeseburger, like in some ways insulting.

I just feel like,

like, I'm now starting to feel like sad.

I've literally never been told to eat a cheeseburger.

Maybe because they know your kosher.

Maybe you should say it to me.

Eat a cheeseburger.

Maybe tonight at dinner, like the cheeseburgers were really good.

I feel like I might have said, Claudia, eat a cheeseburger.

Yeah, but you guys know I don't like cheese in my burger.

Yeah, so that's why no one said it to you because they know.

They know my ARFID got in the way.

But I do think, oh my God, you don't want to hear what my book says about ARFID.

Oh my God.

Jackie's book, like against, against,

what is it it against therapy?

Like, it's not against therapy in general, but it's like definitely talking about like the over-therapized nature of our society and how there's like diagnoses for everything and how people like cling to these diagnoses and they define them when they're like hardly real and certainly like not in the way that people are using.

Okay, what does this bitch say about ARFID?

Like first, I just want to say like it was.

She brought up A-R-F-I-J.

She did.

She was like, to prove her point that they really have a name for everything.

They do, yeah.

I have to find it.

You'll be glad to know.

It it was such like a speck on her radar like it was such a throwaway comment like you didn't even get a chapter

your people didn't even get a chapter no i don't disagree that like our fit is really emblematic if you will of there being like seriously an acronym and a diagnosis for everything like yes i i definitely have our fit like you can't tell me now um and i'm okay yeah right okay also she does talk in the beginning like how there are two groups of people in the world, and especially in like the world of therapy, like people who are seriously, like mentally ill and have

serious issues issues and who, for whom therapy is like not even an option, not even not an option.

It's a requirement.

It's right.

And it says immediately, I am not talking about that.

Obviously.

No, and I think when you talk, when you brought up this book a couple of days ago, people are like, Jackie hates mental health.

Like, that's clearly not what we're talking about.

There are obviously people who are mentally ill and like require therapy, require medication.

But you can't deny like the culture is obsessed with diagnosing, coming up with ARFID, medicating, and for things that like, you know, really people have lived with forever.

No, and doing all of those things while also presiding over a real mental health decline.

So, like, something isn't working.

That's like what

is so obvious and like what the book is trying to get at.

And I just find it really interesting.

And a lot of people have read the book too, and they thought it was great.

And, you know, I'm going to like force Turdy to read it.

Whenever

I haven't like, I can't.

Recap for me in 2029.

I keep walking around with it, but like, I haven't actually read a page in like five days.

Okay.

I, by the way, that's so many here with literally, I walk around in my robe.

My robe has huge pockets.

My kindle's in there i haven't pulled it out once um i bought jackie book me and ben were in town we went to segham seghampton seg harbor town and they have a really cute bookstore and i was just perusing because ben was like thinking about getting a book he did end up getting stanley chouchy's memoir and as we memoirs of a tooch memoirs the touch yeah and as we were checking out he ran back over with like two cookbooks and i was like girl just look it up online and he was like no these are like local people oh local people because i was gonna say there's stanley chucci's cookbook in this house he bought stanley chucci's memoir right memoirs in this house is stanley chucci's cookbook And I said to Ben, if by the end of the summer you don't read one chapter from Stanley Chu Chi's book and you don't make one recipe in either, he went bought one

summer on a plate was the name of the book.

And the other was like salmon, how to cook a fish or whatever.

I said, if you don't make one recipe or read one chapter from Stanley Chuci's book, like you owe me $100.

I think that's really fair.

Yeah.

And no, and Ben paid for the books.

It's not even about the money.

Like I said, it's about the bet.

I want $100.

Because I said, honestly, put these cookbooks away.

Like, you can seriously get these people's recipes online.

And it's not like you are a collector of cookbooks.

And he's like, no, no, no.

I'm like, okay, just get one then.

And he didn't agree.

So, you know what we should do?

We should have a bunch of people.

How should we spend my hundred dollars?

No.

Rather than that, let's like have an amazing meal because let's go through the cookbooks and like find one recipe that looks so good to us and say like make this first.

Let me tell you, these were so uninspiring.

Like one of them was literally a pamphlet from that somebody like who obviously is like a local rich person who just like in her retirement.

Right, but that could literally, that could have been Aina.

Yeah.

Ina would write a book like that because she's like seen Ina.

We've been in Hamptons all summer.

Yeah.

She's in Bridge Hampton, which we like haven't really spent time in.

And we haven't really gone to like Aina-eat places.

We need to go to an Aina food tour, like all of her favorite spots.

She posted about this place that I've really been wanting to go to.

It's like, it's called like Loaves and Cook Shop.

Loaves and Fish.

I literally pass it.

I pass it a thousand times.

There's Loaves and Fish, which is like the, it's like a Stranberries.

And then there's Loaves and Fish Cookshop, which I think is like that's what I've seen.

And that's where I want to go.

And I feel like a place.

And you've driven past it a thousand times.

I know, but we're always like coming back from a show at the beacon.

Like we're not, and it's midnight.

So true.

We We are always driving around the Hamptons at midnight.

Ben driving us, like

driving us, and arguing about the speed and the temperature.

Claudia and I wrapped up in blankets trying not to vomit.

That's us.

So, no, it's not the time to go to loaves and fish cook shop.

It's not.

But if we went somewhere like that, maybe we would increase our odds of seeing her is what I'm saying.

Perhaps.

Pretense.

Well, unfortunately, even though it is midnight, aka like.

We're lying.

And if just feels wrong, like we're just feeling like we're sitting here having a chat.

We do like like have stories right like there's so much to discuss yeah we do have the fast ice stories i would say like there's no rush um so if there are more things that you want to talk about places that you want to go to recipes that you want your husband to make like feel free to wax poetic let me think let me think let me think i do want to take a look at that cookbook my father-in-law just texted me yasso makes a birthday cake flavor i didn't know that I think I knew that.

It's, it's missable.

It's missable.

It tastes like like Halo Top, you know?

Oh, okay.

Damn.

Well, I have a hot take.

I don't like those like cartons, those pints of like fabricated ice cream.

Yeah.

Like that seriously aren't even cold.

Like, it's crazy how chemically they are.

Yeah.

Like, you know what?

If you really can't be eating ice cream, just skip it.

Yeah.

Like, ice cream isn't that bad.

Go for the Hagen-Daws or just have no dessert.

Like.

There's really not an that's very not necessary to have like yucky ice cream.

So I think that's further proof that I don't have anything else to contribute to the pre-Fast Five Panter, you know?

Cool, cool, cool.

Yeah.

So now without further ado, did, did, ado, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Thanks, Turdy.

You're welcome, Jerdy.

Our first story in no order of importance, I will say.

Yep.

A little

romance news

to start.

Yeah, we are romantics.

Love, love.

Baby, we're the new romantics.

Come on, come along with me.

Gracie Abrams and Paul Mescal are enjoying hooking up.

It's still early stages.

Enjoying hooking up, says a source.

And they were just spotted together.

Yeah, but they are hooking up, as the kids say, and they're cracking on.

So

Gracie and Paul, the punch-in, grawl,

have been spotted out and about together this summer, causing romance rumors to swirly on social media, shedding light on the pair and the nature of their relationship.

A source told people that they've been hooking up and it's still early stages.

Representatives did not respond for comment, but they were seen holding hands.

Yes.

Walking around in London's Mayfair area.

I love that show.

Just like our first sponsor, Wayfair.

Oh my God,

in the neighborhood.

In the neighborhood.

Okay, wait.

I want to say something because I know like London is obviously a big city, but there have been so many celebrity spottings in London this week.

And I thought when I saw Paul Mezcal and Gracie Abrams, like they were obviously hanging out waiting for the heiress tour.

I haven't seen them at a show.

And then did you see Harry Styles was spotted walking around London with Hame?

Yes.

And did you see Doja Cat was walking around London with someone?

Yeah, he's a guy from, his name is Joseph Quinn.

He's from Stranger Things, which I don't watch, but the reason why I think why people freaked out so much about this is because, like, a million years ago, and the first time I ever heard the name Noah Schnapp, because again, I don't watch what's the show, Stranger Things.

Um, she had messaged him, and he was like, like 14 and was like, oh my God, like, can you set me up with Joseph Quinn?

And he was like, just DM him on Instagram, Doja.

She was like, he doesn't have an Instagram.

And he sent her profile.

He's like, yeah, he does.

It's right here.

And those screen, I don't know.

I think maybe Doja cat shared.

Then they went super viral.

People were kind of yelling at her for like being inappropriate.

But it looks like she like really liked this guy.

She played the long game, and now that's who she was spotted with.

She made it happen, she manifested it.

But she was not at Eras either.

Like, and I know there's a lot of things going on in London at all times, and it's a major city, but don't you feel like it's kind of weird that everyone's there?

Like, it feels like it's about Eras, but I do think that London is most beautiful in the summer.

You know, it's the season, yeah, the season, like the diamond of the season.

Like, it's London summer.

Yeah, everyone would go to like this, that, the London city for the summer, like from their country estates.

Oh, that's like the opposite of like America.

Everybody like lives in the city, and in the summer, they go to their pool.

You know that, like England has crazy weather.

They're so backwards over there.

They have a lot of weather.

Yeah.

You know,

and I think it rains a lot.

Bad weather.

I think it rains a lot during the rest of the year, but like their summers are most beautiful.

Even Ladies of London was like shot during the summer.

Fun fact.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah, exactly.

There's kind of an endless

wealth of Ladies of London facts.

Like nobody, I think, actually knows more about the ladies themselves and the show than Jackie.

I really feel strongly in saying like nobody knows more about that show than me.

Like, nobody watched it more times and as closely as I did.

I think if they ever loved it more, have brought it back.

And they, like, maybe, like, an Andy Cohen is not alive in this potential scenario and they needed someone to host the reunion, like, they would tap you.

They should 100%.

Like, I haven't forgotten anything.

If they want to bring it back and they need, like, a consultant on like how to make it as good as possible, you should definitely reach out.

So, back to, and to me, Gracie Abrams and Paul Mezcal are so tailor-coded.

Obviously, Gracie is like a friend and opened up.

And then I was just thinking of Paul Paul Mescal because

did he date Phoebe Bridgers?

Yeah, right.

They were engaged.

It's so hard to say.

That's such a weird.

It's so hard to say when everyone looks alike.

Oh my God.

Okay.

So this is like definitely,

and I think we said this when we first reported on these two, like Gracie Abrams and Phoebe Bridgers, like the genre of sad girl music.

And they, if you're not keeping up with them, like they can be interchangeable.

Now, I do want to say something.

But I'm, Gracie is one of a kind for me.

You were the best and you were the worst.

As sick as it sounds, I loved you first.

Who's that?

Gracie.

Oh, I know.

Us.

That's beautiful.

Beautiful.

Side.

Yeah, I have like a hot take.

I don't like that song.

I know you don't.

It's just like kind of weird and like not good.

I like it enough to add it to my liked.

It's on my liked.

And once something's on my liked, like it will be on my

side to listen to Spotify rap.

Yeah, like I listen to my liked playlist every day like when i get ready when i'm looking for anything to listen to so if it makes it to my liked it's a part of my life that's so beautiful so us is a part of my life else to say i just want to say i really like these two together i don't did you watch what show was he normal people

you know how i feel about the show about the show that i didn't like it what and i read the book and i didn't love the book and then i just i found it to be like really really miserable and depressing the book and then the and then seeing it visually oh my god i loved the show it was like so dark and so unhappy and i didn't finish it oh my god i watched it so wrong for that

but like it was just misery on the tv my introduction to paul and to daisy edgar jones like so and i loved it by the way and i didn't read the book and i knew that the show I know that there was like some moral of the story in the book where it's like your first love, yada, yada.

And I don't think it translated through the show because I just liked watching this like cute couple.

I didn't know what I was supposed to be learning.

I loved it.

Misery on the TV.

Oh, wow.

You and your pronunciation of TV, putting the wrong emphasis on the, on the wrong syllable, like misery on the telly.

On the telly.

What do you want me to say?

TV?

TV.

Misery on the TV.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The emphasis goes on the T.

Says who, literally.

I'll tell you, I'll tell you exactly who.

Literally, my entire group friends who were friends from high school, like shout out.

I'm going to totally drag her, but Ana always says TV.

Wait, no.

TV.

TV.

Okay.

The emphasis goes on the V, and Ana was always like, TV.

It's like, girl.

But no, literally says who.

Like, it's an abbreviation.

Society.

Sound up in the comments.

Do you abbreviate it?

I know that I know that I say it in an unpopular manner.

Oh, you do.

So you know you're wrong.

Yeah, but like that's how I say it.

Why don't you just say the television?

I could, but that's so many syllables.

So, but at least you'd be doing the right syllables.

But it's not wrong.

It is.

It's just like the Maj Maj Dijon.

It's wrong.

It's also wrong.

We love the Maj Dijon.

It is an abbreviation.

Like, yes, Maj Dijon is abbreviated.

It's short for major degan.

Okay, I mean, yes, we could go on the abbreviation, but Dijon is completely wrong because it's deacon.

But I'm French.

I think even the French would say it majeur Dijon.

Degan.

Majour Degan.

Something like that.

Okay.

Gracie and Paul.

Gracie and Paul.

And who were we just talking about, Gracie and Gracie and Glenn?

I think I like Gracie and Paul better.

Of course.

And she's not British at all, but she's

British.

And also, I think Paul Mescal, is he British or is he Irish?

Claudia, do you really want to step in this?

No, I don't.

Do you really want to step in this pile of dunk?

So there's a sound.

Take your foot out of the dunk.

Jackie, okay, I'm going to share something with you.

There is a sound going viral on TikTok.

I believe it's from Sinead O'Connor's monologue

on SNL.

Okay.

And I seriously, like, I'm dying to make a TikTok with the sound, like me all the time for no reason.

Like, and she, and like, I just think I need to make, but I don't want to offend because I feel like I've already done so much damage with the Irish community, and I'm really sorry.

Just know, like, seriously, I'm just dumb.

Like, I, I'm really sorry.

And I learned and I listened.

And I just, like, I don't really have a pulse check, like a temperature check on the Irish people's sense of humor.

Like, are they rolling with it?

Well, I think, you know, we can hark back to the Dublin portal if we want to seriously get the temperature yeah but no like irish toasters like no they were really mad do you give us grace no no no do you give us gracie we get no grace like seriously they're like learn are they even here still are they're upset about mile horn no no they're here and they said learn about my culture or seriously shut the fuck up keep my name out of your mouth thing is like we can't because you're in such close proximity to like a major epicenter the dublin portal

the dublin portal london ladies of london like you guys are just like us.

Yeah, we're always talking about the UK.

Which includes.

Which includes.

Let me look at my map.

Hold on.

Let me look at my map.

This is why we have it.

This is why we can't have map.

Did I not favorite it?

Oh my God.

She lost the map.

Wait, no, I texted it to you.

Remember?

No, I don't.

Because

I'll be completely honest.

Like, I didn't save it.

I think by texting it to you.

Yep, I found it.

So the UK.

Okay, I want to talk about Ireland.

Okay, Claudia, the UK includes Northern Ireland, Ireland, not Ireland, not the Republic of Ireland.

Okay, wait.

So the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland are both part of Ireland.

And Jackie, you know why we should know this?

What am I going to say?

Thanks a lot, Rachel.

No.

Why we really should know?

Tom Branson?

Yes.

Oh, my God.

I like how you threw that out like a dumb possibility, and it was literally what I was going to say.

Beyond dumb.

Like, I know that Ireland is separate, but then they came in, but then they're also like Scotland is separate, and they came in, and they're happier to be there.

Scotland is happier to be there.

Scotland loves where they are.

Scotland loves to be a part of something.

And Ireland is like, get me the fuck away from you, losers.

And there was like that rebellion that Tom Branson was a part of.

Of course, but like Northern Ireland is a part of the United Kingdom.

Yeah, that's crazy.

It's almost like Northern Ireland was less scrupled.

Yeah.

And then Southern.

I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Because then they'll be like, you think we're not scrupled?

And the Southern Irish.

Like, I just want to say I love everyone in Ireland.

It was never about that.

No, no, no.

But just in case anybody doubts, I think your history is beautiful.

It is.

And have you seen Outlander?

It's Scotland.

Okay, I don't know her.

I think she's disgusting.

And the lack of respect she has for Ireland and their beautiful storied history is really, it's embarrassing.

That's not true.

I love Ireland and I hope to go there one day.

And I love the Dublin portal.

Thank you.

Well, you could go there vis-a-vis the Dublin portal and like just head over to Times Square.

Two birds.

Yeah, I love that.

I really want to move on.

So Gracie and Paul are hooking up.

We need a better word for that.

And it's not like there never was anything with Glenn Powell because she was spotted with Paul Mezcow before Glenn Powell and

after.

So they're cracking on.

Or maybe like Paul wasn't giving her the energy she wanted.

So she was spotted with her.

So she like planted her own dumois item, Gracie and Glenn flirting all of a sudden.

And She's in London.

Paul comes calling.

She's being flown out.

Yeah.

Lovely.

By Taylor.

And Paul happens to be there.

No, she's not opening for Taylor.

I don't think he has Peage money.

Oh, no.

I think she probably...

That's such a name statue.

I think she flew commercial.

Oh.

But she has Peage money.

Her dad has Peage money.

Right.

And I feel like at her age, and she is successful, like, I feel like it's okay for her to tap into her dad.

Like, he doesn't have to worry about her turning out okay if she uses his money.

Because the jury's kind of out.

Yeah, like she's a good girl.

She's working hard.

Like, sure, use the jet, Gracie.

Go see your man.

Or maybe they all, like, like you said, like, it's the season.

Maybe they all went to London for a second.

Maybe she caught a ride.

Yeah.

Maybe.

Yeah.

Or maybe she just caught a ride with other people.

Rich people are always giving celebrities rides on their planes.

Yeah.

It's like a thing.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, are you ready for some more couple news?

Because Mauricio Yumanski is packing on the PDA with his girlfriend, Nikita Khan, in Mexico, part one of the story.

Part two, his show on Netflix has been canceled.

I know.

Which I'm surprised by.

I mean, I didn't watch it, so I can't say that I helped.

Well, I feel like, why does Netflix have to cancel shows, really?

Like, they have endless money, they have endless space on their television.

Well, I think it's just about the budget for producers.

We're filming it, but reality TV is very low cost compared to like a scripted show.

And they could just like not be filming season three yet.

Like, why would they go out of their way to cancel it?

I mean, should we talk about the society?

Like, right.

Things that Netflix canceled unnecessarily.

It's like after season two,

I'm not even like fighting for buying Beverly Hills, but I was under the impression that it was as successful as anything else that's on Netflix that like does decently well.

Like, yes, except I think that Netflix has at this point like too many real estate reality shows, like Selling Sunset, Tampa, Orange County.

There's like four selling sunsets, right?

Yeah, you know what I watched?

Buying Beverly Hills, buying New York City, buying the Hamptons.

Like, why?

You know what I watched?

Selling London.

Whoa, okay, yeah.

Selling London.

Yeah, it was really, really insanely stupid.

Yeah.

It was fake.

And I think that, you know, shows like that are good to have.

I don't think you need like eight of the same show just set in different cities.

But I would imagine of the eight, I would have thought that one about the Yamanskis and

Mauricio and the agency like would have been one of the higher performing ones just because like they're not AI generated reality stars.

No, they are real reality stars.

I agree.

And I actually think the business, like the family business element of the agency, and I think the agency itself is super impressive and really successful.

I agree.

If there ever was a reality show about real estate that was going to take off, it was going to be that.

I,

when it comes to Mauricio and the first part of the story and his lady, I really love Mauricio Yumancy.

Like, seriously, they can never make me hit him.

I think he's like a gem.

I just really like him.

And it's hard.

Is it?

It's hard to see him out there shaking his thing with a young thing.

Like, go back to your house.

So he was with Nikita Khan, who's a Ukrainian-American actress, and she's 33.

How old is he?

54.

And he has a daughter.

How old is Pharah?

I feel like she's about that age.

Just saying.

Yeah, I guess when you put it like that, like now it has to be yucky.

It's a little icky sticky.

One of the kids called me Yucky today.

And seriously, I don't know if my feelings have ever been so hurt.

So she's 35.

Pharah.

Oh, that's crazy.

Yeah.

Did you hear what I said before?

They called you Yucky.

Yeah, one of your children called me Yucky.

I said, can I have kids?

No, that's Yucky.

Okay,

I don't know what you want me to say.

I'm sorry, behaving in a yucky manner.

Is being lovely yucky?

No, I don't think so.

Or is being yucky yucky?

I what, by the way, don't victim blame.

Like, I, I was not, I'm, how could I even be yucky?

No, you don't want me to answer that.

Wow.

Oh, so she thinks I'm yucky.

Oh, now we know where they're learning it from.

No, no, no, no.

He just like, he literally knows what to say to set you off.

No, it's true.

Like, next thing you know, he's going to call me stinky potatoes.

And I just want to let you know, I will not recover from that because like Harry, Jackie's kids have been saying stinky potatoes.

And let me tell you who likes stinky potatoes.

Everything is stinky potatoes.

Jackie, me and Ben cannot stop saying stinky potatoes.

Like, cause, you know, Ben makes big farts.

He's like, oh, stinky potatoes.

It's so funny.

It's such a great.

Phrase.

No, it's so crazy how now the kids are becoming like an endless source of inspiration for us.

Like all of our like new sayings,

intonations, really Bert.

Really Bert was a Michaelaism.

What is Jackie doing?

That's a Harry influence.

Uh-huh.

They all are so nuts and they just say crazy things and it's endlessly inspiring.

It really is.

So like if we're ever just like looking for inspiration, we don't have to look very far.

By the way, you know, it's one of our new phrases that I think is taking off.

What?

Gargie Porgy.

Because I was on the phone with my friend Margo and she listens to the toast and soda.

She's like, has a bunch of sisters and her sister Abigail listens.

And Margo said that they cannot stop saying, but they say a gorgie porgy because they're normal.

And Abigail looked at her.

She was like, where did we get that?

Did we make that up?

And Margo's like, no, I think it's a toast thing.

That is so funny.

I didn't even realize that it was something that we're saying more than usual.

But yeah, like all my Instagram stories are gargypargy today.

Let me tell you, I love gargie party.

Yeah.

Let me just say, like, we love to rhyme.

Like, we're literally.

Dr.

Seuss.

I'm surprised we didn't invent rhymezone.com.

Girly swirly, gargie party.

Let me tell you something else.

I have noticed that since I started getting hate for saying by the way too much, now I say let me tell you.

And let me say this.

Let me tell you.

Instead of by the way.

Great.

Both work.

Yeah.

Synonyms.

Synonyms.

Thesaurus.com/slash antonym.

Rhymezone.com is one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Yeah, me as well.

And Dana Holtzmerg.

And Dana, yeah.

That's not her name, by the way.

Dana Holtzmer-Webman.

That's not even her name.

It's Dana Webman.

Right.

She did a really good job of transitioning to her married name so quickly.

Like I actually call her by her married name.

And I think having somebody in your phone as their married name is really helpful.

It really helps move the needle.

Because I recently changed Shannon to Shannon Middleton.

And let me tell you,

for the first couple of days, it pops up on my phone.

I'm like, who wants God's green?

Dally Earth is texting me.

And now it's like it's so not a big deal.

I think it's like, You have to change a part.

You have to put in the work.

You have to do the work.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

okay just like a little piece of advice from turd are you ready for our next story three

three yeah exciting news from jeff bezos because this is your i don't know if any podcast like really keeps as close of tabs on jeff bezos as we do but let me tell you what he's up to with we really keep keep up on him but mostly his boat right no but and his money of course

making sure that jeff bezos is spending his money in ways that we feel are are appropriate are congruous with how he should how we would so he is interested in buying an NBA team.

Oh.

So I approve this message.

You want to know why?

He wants to buy the Boston Celtics.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

And reminder, he tried to buy the Washington Commanders, one of the NFL's top franchises.

Why?

Why what?

Why Washington?

It was probably for sale.

It's really hard.

But is he obsessed with Washington?

He owns a Washington Post, too.

Yeah, I think he like wants to take over.

I don't know.

I mean, it feels like a coincidence.

I agree.

I think NFL teams are like cooler to own.

They are more expensive, I think, than NBA teams.

Well, the Celtics are one of the most expensive.

They're $6 billion.

Who currently owns?

Who currently owns?

And I'm going to tell you why he wants to buy a sports team once you're done sharing that information with me.

I don't know who currently owns, but Bill Simmons talked about it on his podcast.

So I guessed Bill Simmons is like also tracking Jeff Bezos, but like not for the same reasons as us.

No, he tracks sports.

Anyways, this is what he said.

In the last few days, there's been some, I think, legitimate buzz about Jeff Bezos buying the Celtics, and I think it's real.

I think he's going to be one of the suitors, which got me thinking, why would Jeff Bezos, when he's looking at the Celtics, what is he seeing?

What does he want?

I think the only way it makes sense, I mean, granted, he has a gajillion dollars, but it's one of the crown jewel franchises, right?

That's why you get it.

To him, it'd be no different than if he bought this famous, gigantic $300 million yacht.

But I think if...

It's real that he's potentially in the mix for this.

He said it's a crazy price, but they're probably going to get it.

They want the $6 billion because they want expansion teams in Seattle and Vegas, and Mexico City is kind of looming as the third team.

But they want to get $6 billion apiece for the two franchises for expansion, which means a check of $400 million to every NBA owner, all 30.

Right.

So it's like a big group that owns the Celtics, but the majority owner is this guy, Wycliffe K.

Gruspeck, who's an American entrepreneur, the majority owner and governor of the National Basketball Association's Boston Celtics.

So it's not as cut and dry as other teams where it's like, you know, everybody knows Mark Cuban owns the Mavericks.

Every NBA owner would get $400 million from the sale of the Celtics.

Every, I think, Celtics owner.

He said NBA owner.

Hmm.

Well, also, I just Googled, and this rumor is exclusively coming from Bill Simmons.

Yeah, this is.

So he must have like really good sources.

I mean, I know why Jeff Bezos is doing this because

it's going to be mean, but I'm going to say it.

No matter how much money you have, like, and Jeff Bezos has all of it,

he is not cool, right?

He's, he's not.

Like, he's actually inherently uncool.

And I think he tries a lot of different things.

He got really jacked.

He's got this hot new thing.

He's got this big boat.

He hangs out with Katy Perry and Tom Brady.

But at the end of the day, like, he's still weird.

I think there's literally nothing cooler than owning a sports team, any sports team, the worst or the best.

It is such a baller move.

And I think that's kind of the last thing.

Yeah, I think, I think he's cool and everybody like wants to be around Jeff Bezos, whatever.

But I do think it's like a different tier and a new club to be in, one that you cannot be in if you don't own any part of any team.

And I think it's like in a very elite squad and he wants to be a part of that.

And I'm sure also it's good business.

And there's, yeah, when you have all the money in the world, like there's no downside.

Why not do something like this?

No.

And what I was just looking at is the, the, it's called the Gru Spec and Boston Basketball Partners LLC.

That's who own the Celtics.

They've owned it since 2002.

And when they bought it, they bought it for $360 million.

So it's also an amazing investment.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But you have to think, like, we're like high inflation right now.

Like, is he overpaying?

He definitely is, but I don't think he cares.

Yeah.

And he'll have to make it more profitable.

But I don't think he has it in him.

I don't think he can really like take a basketball team and like

rise it

from the ashes.

Also, didn't they just win?

Yeah, right.

That's why they're like also super expensive.

But do basketball teams like, do the owners

like make decisions about like the players and shit?

I feel like no, no, because I don't think they want to and they don't have the

expertise.

But I think, like, if they wanted to say, we want this person or fire this person, like, they can do that.

Like, you can't just like piss off your owners.

Okay, so you have a ton of money in the hypothetical scenario, and you can buy any sports team.

You're going MLB, where what league are you doing?

Football.

I think football is awesome.

Me too.

I like a daytime, you know, outdoor venue.

What team are you buying?

I don't care.

Me neither.

Like, I'll take whichever one.

I mean, at present, like, I would probably buy the Chiefs.

Right.

Just for the access to

your room.

Oh, you want to come to the Super Bowl?

I got a suite.

And that's the only way you're allowed to come.

Or like, oh, you're getting a suite?

Well, I have to suite.

I'll be next door.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think I would like the information and the power that that gives me.

Yeah.

But again, I would.

I would seriously, I would take any.

you know, happy to be here.

I don't think I would take the Tennessee Titans.

I'm so glad you brought them up because I've been holding back.

but have you been seeing

Victoria Fuller and Will Levis like hard launch, soft launch, left launch, right launch?

She's on the field.

He's posting her on his feed.

No, I

love this man, and I have to have him for Victoria.

I love her.

She's so my queen.

Don't get it.

She's so handsome.

As stated, like she is.

Probably one of the world's most beautiful, naturally beautiful women.

Yes, he's so handsome.

When I was trying to ascertain how I knew who he was, like I I thought the boys were always talking about him.

He went viral when he was drafted on draft day

because he was supposed to get picked sooner than he did get picked.

He was very much giving like a draft day situation, like nobody came to his birthday party, which like I do can kind of see because like, how can one person be that perfect?

Like, there's obviously a downside.

And when he wasn't getting drafted, they kept panning to him.

And he was with his girlfriend at the time, not Victoria Fuller, because she would never, and she's a graceful queen.

And the girlfriend was like mean muggins.

Giving such a dirty look because they were like really disappointed.

Yeah, I mean, that is disappointing.

I can respect that.

And maybe she was disappointed because like things weren't going well for them.

And he knew, she knew that if like he moved to Tennessee, that he would be captivated by Victoria Fuller and be over her for her.

And look, what do you know?

She was right.

Damn.

Damn.

Anyways, I'm really happy for Victoria Fuller living the dream, the absolute dream.

Like, the regular season hasn't even started.

And like, she is there.

Turning out looks, content.

With the friends in the suite.

And he's obviously like into it.

He is into it.

He is into her.

Love that.

Are you ready for our next story?

Well, only if it's the next story that's brought to you by Huggies.

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Our next story is some really sad, crazy developing news that just like broke a few hours ago.

But a tech tycoon, who at one point was dubbed the UK's Steve Jobs, and his teen daughter are among missing after a deadly tornado sinks a massive yacht off the coast of Sicily.

No, this is so crazy because every like every rich person is in the south of France, in Greece, in Italy, on these huge boats.

And you don't think about stuff like this happening.

No.

So British tech tycoon, Mike Lynch, and his 18-year-old daughter are among the six people missing after a super yacht sank off the coast of Sicily on Monday.

The 59-year-old who was once dubbed the UK's answer to Steve Jobs was on board the 160-foot sailboat.

Bayesian with 22 others when it was stuck by a tornado off the port of Porticello at sunrise, according to a person familiar with the rescue operation.

So he and his daughter are among the missing passengers.

14 others, including a one-year-old child, managed to escape the boat before he went down.

Sorry, 15, like by

being in the water, if they like weren't struck, I think some of them were on deck because it was like the weather was bad.

And then maybe some people got trapped

like the Titanic.

So six people are missing, including the two of them.

and two Americans.

Jesus.

The boat was carrying a crew of 10 people and 12 passengers at the time.

So sad.

Yeah.

And it's like still developing.

And

the people who were rescued, do you think they can just tell us where they are?

Like, they're not missing in a sense of like they ran away.

No.

Like they're probably like they were all pulled in different directions, I think.

Like even if there was a tornado, right?

I forgot about that.

Like it was just like really crazy weather.

I didn't know they had tornadoes in Italy.

No, it's a very, very sad and scary story.

And I know

for the best outcome.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Oh my God.

And like, so you're just treading water for hours till someone can come pick you up with a one-year-old?

Yeah.

The

woman who was a mom who was on the boat with her one-year-old, she was, uh, she told the story of like how she was able to use all of her strength to hold up her daughter the entire time until the Coast Guard was able to come and rescue them.

I don't know how long it was until they were rescued.

Oh my.

Yeah.

Really, really crazy.

So, so sad.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I am.

A little drama, like the most unnecessary drama I've ever read.

Pipple versus Kesha.

Is it even that?

It's not, it's not because they're a dynamic duo, and I knew that Pipple would never do anything even remotely nefarious.

Pipple is rejecting speculation that Kesha's name was intentionally removed from Timber YouTube video credits.

After some aggressive fan speculation, Pipple went on.

I just want to know who is monitoring the YouTube videos.

That's my only question.

You guys, look, here's

information.

But he went on X to address the rumors about why Kesha's name was removed from the YouTube title of their 2013 music video.

So previously the music video was called Pitbull Dash Timber parentheses official video featuring Kesha.

Okay.

It was then modified to Pitbull Bash Timber parentheses.

Dash Timber?

Dash Timber parentheses official video.

Then Eli Kesha fans were so upset.

Because it didn't say featuring Kesha anymore.

Because it no longer said featuring Kesha.

So, this is what he had to say.

Like, he literally couldn't ignore all the hate of the hate.

Yeah.

Kesha and I have an incredible song together.

Nothing will change this.

So true.

Team Pitbull is looking into this matter.

Always nothing but love for Kesha.

Dale.

I just want to say Dale to that.

And the next time I'm in any sort of trouble, like please call on Team Pitbull.

Like, if they can't help me, nobody can.

Anytime I'm in any sort of trouble, like Team Pitbull will be looking into the matter.

And do they bring it down to the no, and I do want to know these eagle-eyed Kesha fans, like, but you sit on YouTube and refresh Kesha is like, I need a statement from the person who found it.

Yeah.

I need the people to know, like,

I need a schedule of your day.

Like, how do you spend your day?

That's really nutty.

But of course, Pitbull himself.

And then I entire Saga with the utmost respect.

I need to know who's paying your bills because you obviously

don't have a job.

I

have nothing but love, respect, and admiration, much like probably everyone listening to this podcast for Pitbull.

And I never thought he would do anything to nefarious.

And by the way, like, if he did, like, he has to reason.

He had a reason.

He's extremely just.

He's extremely.

I would never go against Pitbull like in anything.

And I know a lot of people talk about Pitbull even right now, like in a little bit of a jokey manner, but I'm deadass.

I think he's so great.

I think Pitbull could seriously heal the world.

He does so much.

I think he's human.

He's trying.

He makes amazing music.

Like seriously, music that changed me as a person.

Timber is one of the greatest songs of all time.

No, and in his own way, he's like a real legend.

I think he's seriously, he must have 300 million dollars.

Like, he does, he's such a smart business person, obviously, in addition to being.

I think he has 301 Dale.

Dale.

The 301.

And then at the end of the day, 305.

305.

Oh, yeah, because that's embarrassing.

What's 301?

California, I think.

Oh, I'm just such like an L Calendar.

LA girl.

Yeah.

301 area code.

I do think that Pitbull is also a comedian because signing off of like a serious statement saying Dale

is like genuine.

It's hysterical.

It is hysterical.

Now I need to go see if he ends everything with Dale.

Yeah, I think he does.

That's like his thing.

And what does Dale mean?

It's a good question.

Is Pitbull,

I feel like it means like, let's go, you know, like when you're getting in the car, Dale.

Oh, it does.

Dale, yeah.

Dick hustle.

It literally means make haste.

Oh my God.

Pitbull and I are the same.

I say make haste and he says Dale.

Okay, I'm looking at half.

I'm signing off all my statements from now on.

Make haste.

I am looking at Pitbull's social media and he does a quote of the day.

So three hours ago, do you want to know what his quote of the day was?

Ready to be inspired?

Don't wait for the right opportunity.

Create it.

How did you know?

Because I'm on his Twitter.

Oh, and so then he went, when he released a statement about Kesha, he also posted a little clip of their music video together from the song.

And then he said, thank you to the fans, Teen Pitbull.

Pitbull got on it.

Dale.

He said, old money is always better than new money.

Dale.

Is that true?

I don't know.

Like, it's money.

I

think I need to follow Pitbull on social media.

Don't look back, not even for a boost.

Always move forward.

He is so rich.

Oh, Claude, this is so us.

Do what you say, but don't say what you do.

Is that another Pitbull quote of the day?

Yeah, it is.

Pitbull net worth, like to me,

$100 million.

He owns some businesses.

Not enough.

Give him more.

He has a bunch of Latin American radio stations that are owned by Sirius XM.

He's also the owner of a rapper.

He's probably invited to Judly Roll racing NASCAR team.

He's won 35 Latin music awards.

I'm sorry, I just love this man.

Failure is the mother of all success.

That's so Pitbull.

When everybody's going right, you got to take that risk and go left.

And why is Pitbull Mr.

305, but also Mr.

Worldwide?

The rapper is not married.

I've never thought much about Pitbull's personal life.

I think it's hard to be Pitbull at the end of the day when you're carrying the weight of the worldwide on your shoulders.

As far as we know, the rapper is not married, but personally, had affairs.

Claudia, Claudia, people take so many pictures, they miss the big picture.

They're so connected, they're disconnected.

That's beautiful.

Oh, wait, this one was in English and Spanish for the Tostados.

Hold on,

I keep like swiping out of his Twitter.

I'm busy looking for his wife.

I've got it.

I've got it.

Do you know Pipple's real name?

I'll give you 15 guesses.

You'll never get it.

Paso Corto vista Larga.

Short steps, long vision.

I was like, I heard Larga.

And I'm like, what did you call me?

Do you want to know Pitbull's real name?

I love it.

It's Armando.

Armando Christian Perez.

I feel like I knew that.

I don't think you did.

If you, whoa, my mind is blown.

With another quote.

If you ain't living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.

Wow.

What do you think is Pitbull's biggest song?

I'll tell you.

He has a few.

Give me everything by Neo.

Yeah.

Yeah, that one.

I just want to feel the

Christine Aguilar.

I need to horror Pitbull concerts.

Timber, ex-Kesha.

And then, like, this Wild Love.

Time of Our Lives with Neo.

I think this wild love is like, seriously, you're the only person who stops.

I don't believe that.

I like it.

Enrique and Glacier.

I don't like it.

I love it, love, I love it.

Uh-oh.

Okay, also, DJ God has fallen in love.

Like, that's not my favorite, but I really.

These are songs that he's done guest appearances on, not like his music.

Right, but they wouldn't be what they are without him.

You noting that we gonna get on the floor.

He's so funny.

Do you know what his first album was called?

Dolly.

Yes.

Do you know what his second album was called?

Dale 2.

No.

Dos Dale.

No, kidding.

Climate change.

Because he's changing the climate.

No, he's such a king.

And then Libertad 548.

Libertad.

Yeah.

Is that French?

Where is he from?

Miami.

Originally,

his parents are Cuban.

He's from Miami.

Yeah, he's Cuban.

Yeah.

While growing up, he was strongly encouraged by his family to take privilege, to take advantage of the privilege of living in America and the opportunities that came with it.

His family had a long history of fighting against the Castro

regime in Cuba.

King.

Well, libertad means freedom in Spanish.

I've just learned.

I just think we've got to be.

Different from liberté.

I think we've barely scratched the surface

on Pitbull.

I'm ready for a Pitbull Doc.

I'm ready for a Pitball memoirs.

Memoirs have a pity.

Because I would love to know what his house looks like.

I'm telling you, I think we all are really underestimating how wealthy he is.

We need to get him on the toast.

By the way, add him to the list of dream interviews.

100%.

Not obvious.

You know, obviously Kim Taylor.

Of course, of course.

But people we really need to talk to.

People we need to talk to.

Pitbull.

Yeah.

That should be the name of the list, like the title.

No, no, no.

Who else is on it?

Kiki Palmer.

RuPaul.

Kelly Clarkson.

Of course.

Mimi Kayling.

You can like tell who wrote which one.

Yeah, yeah, yep.

Yep, yep, yep.

I'm taking off this person.

Okay.

I can't wait to see who it is later.

After, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, fuck you.

Oh!

Guy Fieri.

Okay, classic.

Elon.

Of course.

John Corbett.

We need to talk to John Corbett.

Jack Black.

We need to talk to Jack Black.

Kenny Ortega.

Oh, my God.

In such a desperate way.

Do we need to talk to Kenny Ortega?

And Pitbull.

Okay.

Well,

it pretty much all comes back to the list.

So while you guys are doing what you're doing, we'll be manifesting Pitbull on the toast.

You guys, thanks so much for spending this evening slash Marining.

Morning.

Hope you guys have a good night.

Have a good day.

Thank you so much for listening to the toast.

I'll tell you tight.

The Millennium Morning Show.

We deliver the Fast Five Stories you need to know every Monday through Friday and YouTube.

So watch me on YouTube.

I need to wrap up because I need to know.

I need to know who you took off the list.

The Millennium Morning Show that's recorded at night.

We're releasing the podcast by Nassau Toasting 5 Star View about a beautiful setting and wickedly challenged.

We are.

Love ya.

Bye.