Dakota Johnson Is Drowning Too: Monday, August 19th, 2024

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Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the toast.

Happy Monday, everyone.

Hope you had a gargie pargy weekend.

It definitely wasn't as gargy-pargy as ours, but that's okay.

Ours was incredibly gargy and pargy.

We concluded the gizno in Atlantic City.

It was a gargy-pargey gizno.

It was.

And in a gargie Pargi weekend in the Gargi Pargi summer, the Gizno in Atlantic City was unlike any other, as to be expected.

As predicted.

And we were really annoying, like, you know, in the weeks leading up being like, something major is happening at Gizno AC.

You might want to get a ticket if you're on the fence because we're doing something major.

And as we had said, we weren't lying.

Something major occurred.

Yet that's right.

A swirly got engaged at our show.

Like, when I tell you this, PJM reached out.

to every email he could find.

I don't know how he got it.

He got Margo.

He DM'd every, he wanted this so bad.

He's like, listen, my girlfriend's going to be at the show.

I think like she would die.

And Jackie and I, we get asked to do stuff like this a lot.

Yeah.

And it's like, if you do for one person, you have to do it for everyone.

And it like usually doesn't feel right.

But in this particular scenario, it was right place, right time.

It was perfect.

Like the final gizno and the more we learned about, you know, Brian and Eliana, it was just, we had to do it.

And it was so iconic.

And it was seriously like the best moment of my life.

I don't know if she like had an inclination.

I think when she got up.

She said she didn't.

I think when she got brought up on stage, she had no idea what was about to happen.

And then when we blindfolded her, she was like, okay.

I think she thought we were like doing some hijinks for our crazy show, not that like her man was side-stage waiting for her.

I really don't think that's what she thought.

And I just want to say, like, this is, I mean, we don't have any more giznos planned, but this isn't going to be like something we do at every gizno, so I don't want like girlies with boyfriends to buy a ticket being like, Okay, maybe this is my time.

No, and also, we couldn't do it again because the surprise is ruined.

If we ever invite someone on stage, they're gonna think they're getting engaged, so that's why it could only be a one-time thing, a moment in time for Eliana.

No, and Atlantic City is very much like a mini Vegas, so it was very much giving, you know, going to the chapel, gonna get married.

You know, if we were in Vegas, we would have then driven them to the chapel.

We would have gotten ordained and done a live wedding.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You mean it, Brian?

Really want to marry Aliana?

How about it?

We'll talk.

Do it right now.

It was so cute.

It was such a great show.

I love Atlantic City.

And the Swirlies were out.

It was great.

Yeah, it was a great environment.

It was an amazing way to wrap up the Giznow.

We have officially, you know, done, the Giznow has run its course.

You know, I was thinking, we don't have any live shows planned and like literally none, but I'm sure we will do more in the future one day.

Are we gonna, you know, call it the Jizz?

And that's why I love the name Girly Swirly's Night Out because whenever we do it, wherever we do it, it will be a night out for the girly swirlies.

So, I love that it's not topical.

It's not like an inside joke that's just now.

Like, Girly Swirly's Night Out is eternal.

Okay.

We could even go back to the same city and do a Girly Swirly's Night Out.

And because the show is different every time, like it's not stand-up, it's not a certain tour.

It's about the night of nights.

The night of nights.

Tonight, not only did kind of Gizno take over our weekend, it was very much like half Gizno, half Love is Blind UK.

I saw, I think actually, you know, I've seen a lot of people watching it.

And I'm telling you, like our sister Olivia made it go viral because it like it is slowly picking up steam and it's not as popular as I think a lot of the other Love is Blind seasons that are here in America.

Let me tell you how much I love Love is Blind UK for the cast.

Like I love, but I think it's a better show than the U.S.

for so many reasons.

Cause then we were like, we caught up on all the episodes last night.

We're like, let's watch like a season of Love is Blind.

US we haven't seen.

We're obviously like obsessed with Love is Blind.

Immediately different, like immediately disliked it.

Let me tell you.

We turned on Houston for three minutes and we're like, no.

They shove Nick and Vanessa Lachey up your asses.

Like, why?

I didn't even realize.

So Emma Willis and what's his name?

Mr.

Her husband.

They're like, I don't even know who they are.

They're like UK celebrities.

They were on episode eight.

We have seen them four times.

It is so little and it's so nice.

The show does not need a host.

And I just think Nick and Vanessa Lachey comparatively like have have annoying personalities compared to these other two, who are honestly very demure and very mindful.

So that's off the bat, I was like, okay, this is so much more civilized.

Like, thank you.

And Love is Blind UK.

I'm not sure if it's because they cast people a lot older than they do in the U.S.

or because this is just a cultural difference between the U.S.

and the UK.

Like my, one of my biggest critics and some of the reasons why I find myself unable to watch Love Island, Love is Blind U.S.

is because people on the show, like, seriously, don't say anything.

Like they have these long conversations in the pods and their sentences.

If you look at it, it's word salad.

It's like they just use the word connection.

Every other word is like.

And I know.

And also at the end of the day.

Yes.

And I know me saying that is like, you know, ironic, but I'm not on TV.

It's absurd.

It's insufferable.

And it's like really not.

And that's, I think, the first season of Love is Blind U.S.

is different from that.

Like I don't, when I'm talking about Love is Blind U.S., I'm obviously not talking about season one, which was just so important to me and precious.

But people from the UK, and that's, I'm not sure if it's because there are people on there who are almost 40.

So they're just like a a lot older and wiser, or culturally, like people from the UK speak differently because they're all so eloquent.

They all like are saying stuff.

I'm like, oh my God, like, wow, those are sentences.

Like, and I feel like I'm actually really getting to know the people.

And I'm really not sure if it's a cultural difference or, cause, you know, people on Love is Blind U.S.

are like 23.

No.

Tim is 38.

I think it's cultural.

First of all, I don't think 38.

I think that's a red flag too.

Like, there's a sweet spot of age for this show

based on like, you know, where you're looking, what you're where you're at in your life and so like a 38 year old man who's like never been married who all of a sudden is wants to get married in one month like red flags i agree um i do i've never had an issue with the ages on love is blind us i do think though for us it's more enjoyable to watch british people talk because they have their slang and words that don't mean a lot but for us it's like new and we don't know what it means and we just think they're saying something like when they say cracking on and those sorts of things and here those words we know them and we know them to be dumb yes but i don't that's not what I'm experiencing.

Like, I'm not like enjoying, I'm actually, I would say I understand 99% of what they're saying.

Like, I understand what they're saying, but when they do speak dumb, dumb, it sounds better than here.

For sure.

I don't think they're speaking dumb.

I think if they are speaking dumb, it's 10% compared to 100% in America.

Like, and I have felt like myself getting less interested when I watch the U.S.

seasons because I'm like, what the hell are these people saying?

It's just like, it's like reality TV words.

Yeah.

And it's so frustrating because I've never felt like I, the reason I love Love is Blind U.S., that first season, it was like so real, you know?

It's like what Jasmine's mom said, like uneducated people can be difficult to communicate with.

She's so right.

So, really quick, we're on episode eight.

There are, I think, two more episodes coming out on Wednesday.

So, if you guys want to watch with us, like, you have plenty of time.

The weddings come out on Wednesday and like the bachelorette part.

I think they're going to call it a hen.

I think that's what they call it.

And a stag.

A stag.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's so good for a multitude of reasons.

But, like, for us, like, there is,

and like, there's only really one reason to do it.

There's like life before Freddy and there's life after Freddy.

And let me tell you, Jax, like, they don't make men like Freddy anymore.

No.

What he's what's happening to him on the show?

Like, I'm not going to spoil it for anyone, but it's hard to watch.

It is.

I love this man with my whole heart.

Like,

he deserves the world.

And when him and his chosen beloved decided to get together, I was very, very excited for them and very hopeful.

I had a small concern that maybe she wasn't woman enough for him.

Jackie did say those exact words.

But I really held out hope that like they could be right for each other.

And now seeing what I've seen, like she's not woman enough for him.

Like she doesn't deserve him.

I don't really, it would take seriously Mother Teresa, but I believe she's out there.

For me, Molly Mae.

And

she does kind of look like Tommy, like a little bit.

Yeah, and Zach, who, you know, Love is Wine is his super show.

And he also watched Love Island Season 5 UK with me.

So he knows Tommy and Molly as well.

And he just keeps calling him Tommy because they are so similar.

They sound alike.

And then Freddy's whole thing is he's very much a homebody.

He doesn't like like the high life, the fast life.

and i mean is anybody more home me than molly may may sound molly no no freddie would be an amazing stepfather for sure freddy also has spoken about how like really his whole life revolves around his older brother who has down syndrome and it's like he's coming from this place of just purity everything that comes out of his mouth he couldn't be sweeter and he just ends up with a girl who's like high life city like and and at first you think like oh well they'll just live like they're combined they love each other so much that like they'll just be freddie and her so very quickly i'm saying her because i'm trying not not to spoil it.

Well, what I'm about to say is I want to go through really quickly our thoughts on every couple.

So, starting now, like if you haven't seen it and you're never going to watch it, like you can listen.

But if you are, skip ahead a couple of minutes.

Let's just go couple by couple.

Yeah, we'll refer to the timestamps couple by couple.

Okay, spoilers, start now.

Sabrina and Stephen.

Well, let's do, let's finish Freddie and Catherine.

Oh, okay.

Freddie and Catherine.

Okay, sorry.

We were being nice before.

Fucking hate.

No, like, she's just...

It's hard because with reality TV, it's like, I really want to give my thoughts, but it's, you also have to remember, like, it's real people.

I hope she never hears this.

Yeah.

Like, pray.

Um, no, her and her friends are just awful.

Anybody, she could act in any sort of way that she wants.

The way that she's acting, she's not acting in a way that she's not good enough for him.

She keeps picking fights with him, even like stop petting me, I'm not a dog.

The way she reacted when he said that he had cheated once, when it's clearly something he feels so horrible about, like, and she couldn't get over it.

And it's like, actually, in this one instance, I'm like, I feel like it's almost good.

And by the way, I will defend anything Freddy has ever done, anything wrong he ever said.

I don't care.

You guys say I'm biased.

Here I will admit it.

I actually think in this instance, it's better that he once cheated because he knows how awful it feels and that he never wants to do it again.

Well, that's like the one thing that we learned about him.

That's complete.

When he said that, like we were, the room gasped.

Like it was really incongruous with what we know about him and how we know him to be, our, our little PJOM Freddie.

And I would, I would love if she, she just like immediately judged and closed down.

And I would love for her to have asked more questions about like what that period of, like maybe he was going through a rough patch.

Like

maybe it was like love in other words where like he was like really drunk and taking advantage of.

Like he didn't know.

No, like for real there's really it was so confusing and so shocking i wish she had asked more questions like about the circumstances around it instead of just like labeling him as a cheater once a cheat always a cheat and i just want to say to me she started pushing him away and picking fights after she saw ollie Oh, because

before she saw Ollie, these two could have floated off in a cloud.

They were so high.

And I just want to say, I don't like Ollie, but did Ollie clock her and the pods almost immediately.

I was like, oh my God, this guy's writing her off because she says what kind of clubs she goes to.

Now, that might be a reference that I don't understand because he literally knew exactly that she was materialistic, you know, goes out every night, like not really looking seriously to settle down and slow down your life, which is what I think a lot of the people who show up to this show are like,

way to get a read on someone, Ollie, when seriously, I think Ollie's the worst.

Yeah, no, a lot of people read each other very quickly.

Like,

Jazzy and Sam loved that.

Just really, the last thing I want to say about Sam and Catherine, because I don't think they're going to get married and I don't think that they should.

Freddie, Catherine, if they get married, like I like, call Freddie's funeral

home because I'll need my burial.

And I'm sorry, okay.

When she went to his house and and he like showed her his outfit that he wears for his funeral directing, like, I'm sorry.

I love this man.

And I know some people are like, funeral direct.

Like, let me tell you, you know.

I'm yucky.

You're yucky.

No, not only are you yucky because like a living is a living.

Tom, we'll get to that.

A living is a living.

Let me tell you what a stable, lucrative job that is.

You know whatever goes out of business?

Death.

Like, it's kind of...

Yes, it's off the beaten path.

It's when you're looking for a partner who's going to like provide for you, there is nothing more stable.

Like, like, it's just as stable as like accounting, you know, death and taxes.

Those are the two things people always can rely on.

Like, I don't like how judgmental, when she was like telling her friends, she was like, clearly, her friends are also judgmental.

Like, you could learn a lot about people based on who they hang out with.

And they were like,

a funeral.

Excuse me.

Like, hate.

Yeah.

Hate.

Hate.

No, she's shallow.

And in any, if she were in another couple with someone else who had like red flags, I'd be like, oh, no, you can make it work, whatever.

I would like find it so offensive.

Freddie is just like, we've never seen anyone like him on reality television.

We as a society.

And like, he deserves the best.

And she's not even be, like, she could be anyone who she wanted to be like before the show.

And I feel that way about everyone.

Like, I don't care what you did, Bobby's music video.

Like, okay.

I agree.

Like, you show up to the show, like, who are you starting now when you say yes?

And like, she has just fumbled the ball.

No, and you, you can tell she's like looking for fights because she wants a reason to say no.

And the reason to say no.

It was really crazy to see her.

Like, you know, girls are always like starting stuff, right?

Like when they were shopping and she was like, so when we get married, like, will you want to come to the shops with me?

And he was like, like, no, but like, I'll come with you and I'll sit like everyone else.

Like, you go to a department store, you always see guys sitting on the couch.

He's like, I'll sit on the sofa and I'll wait for you.

So, in all life together, you won't want to go shopping with me.

Like, I'm dragging you.

And then she like, and I really couldn't tell.

Does she want him to go shopping with her or not?

What is the right answer?

So, that, like, that scene was really emblematic of her being the problem for sure.

Yeah, I feel like she saw life with Freddy as like, you know, very boring.

And I think she wants someone who, like, once the show airs and they're on their Instagram trajectory, who's going to like milk it with her for all it's worth, like doing club appearances.

No, no.

Like she's in it for the club appearances.

Yes.

It's

increasingly painful to watch because he's so precious.

And like all, like every time I see him, I like want to cry.

Like he talks about his family with such like respect and his job with such, even though they were laughing at his job.

He's like, no, like it's not sad.

Like I feel, you know, the responsibility to take care of people at their lowest moments.

Like he's so precious.

Oh, and he's the best looking person we've ever seen.

We've never told

literally like everyone else on the show is a dog compared to this guy.

You never saw someone so hot in your fucking life.

And she's just really shallow.

She can't even understand.

Like he brought up the idea of a pre-nap.

Like, you know, if I pass away, I want everything to go to my sister.

And she's immediately like, well, what about, like, she's not even thinking, it has nothing to do with he loves his sister so much.

He feels this like enormous responsibility to take care of his brother who has Down syndrome.

And I'm sure that's what he was referring to.

If she let him fucking finish his sentence and she's like gossiping with her friends, like, he wants to leave his money to his sister.

He's already planning for when he leaves you.

And by the way, it wasn't about when he leaves her.

It was about in the event of his death.

No, seriously, like her and her friends were the blind leading the blind.

I don't know how three people so shallow all found each other.

Yeah.

They're perfect for each other.

They should get married.

There was one friend who seemed nice and she's just grouped in.

No, I think she's shallow too, but she had like a self-awareness to the fact that they're on TV.

Oh.

She's like, oh, my parents are going to see this.

Let me act normal for 35 seconds.

Cause you can't, if you're, you can't be friends with two people like that who are like if you're so different.

Yeah.

So they're obviously like the main thing we're obsessed with, but there are a lot of honestly really good couples.

Strong couples.

In terms of strength, I think we all can agree like Stephen and Sabrina are probably going to get married.

Yeah, but I was also saying this happens all the time on Love is Blind, where like Stephen and Sabrina sell it as a rock, and then they show up at the altar, and then they're like, No, yeah, and we never really get answers because they've just been like, I guess, faking it the whole time.

I don't think that's what's going to happen.

They seem perfect for each other.

Yeah.

And if there is like a reason for them not to get married, it's that Fakak story he told about his like ex-girlfriend who had a terminally ill tumor, and then she broke up and broke up with him after treatment after months of like treatment and like her case getting worse.

And then

him saying, She broke up with me and she's also fine.

Yeah, they never followed up on that.

I had so many questions.

That to me was such a red flag.

Like, your terminally ill girlfriend broke up with you.

You, no, not only that.

And then she's still hired, right?

Right.

Maybe you were seriously the tuber.

Maybe she was like faking it to get rid of you and then you stayed.

And so then she had to break up.

I don't know.

Sabrina's just like crying with him.

Oh my God, that's beautiful.

Thank you for sharing that with me.

And it's like, I have questions.

There's more to that story.

There is more.

I have so many questions.

But, but otherwise, I do think they're solid.

Yeah.

Like, I'm great moving on someone who is extremely interesting to me is alexa and tom from the beginning i think alexa and tom oh not alexa maria maria maria she reminds me of alexa lemieu like so much confidence like seriously i'm obsessed with her level of confidence and we when we were watching this show like we immediately did not get good vibes from tom in the in the pods His age is definitely concerning.

Like you're 38 and this is how you want to meet someone.

It's just, it's confusing.

He's super judgmental and that was coming through.

And then he outright said probably one of the most judgmental things I've ever heard anyone say once he got out of the pods, they were talking about her job.

She's a makeup artist.

And by the way, she's the best sort of advertisement.

If I go to the UK, like I would literally book her.

Her makeup is gorgeous.

Her makeup is gorgeous.

Always fresh, dewy.

Even at the beach in Greece, I'm like, damn, it's what setting spray.

She is really.

talented.

And he was like, yeah, like when I heard what you did, like I found it judgment, like I found it, you know, odd because I really think that he's quote, in his words, a high-powered PR executive.

Okay, nobody high-powered says that they're high-powered, but nonetheless.

and he was like when I you know first learned what you did like I was you know it took me back a little bit because you know that's kind of a deal breaker for me someone who's not ambitious

yeah ex

what also I just want to say there is nobody on the planet more ambitious than a makeup artist like running around town all day lugging your kit it's so physical and then you also have this like artistry and then you also have to be marketing clients oh my god it was so judgmental yeah the fact that she didn't leave him in that minute and I thought she handled it he has so much patience for him even in the pods he was like saying all this stuff to the women about how like once they give birth they've got to get back to work

yeah she was like by the way i would like to have like one year two years at home with my kids like i don't want to miss that and he was like i don't want to miss it either like he's obsessed with that

back to work tom no but he wants to stay home too it's like he literally wants to find a woman to like be his sugar mama take care of him Oh, yucky.

And then they also have like that issue where she kind of starts, it happened off camera, but they went to a dinner, you know, dinner date.

He paid.

The next morning, they go out for breakfast.

And she was like, oh, do you want me to get this one?

And he was like, okay.

And she seriously was so mad.

So she had said she comes from like a really traditional background.

Oh my God.

And also, like, it's Love is Mind is so interesting because you like learn about things people have been through in their life that are so crazy, right?

When she told us how her dad died, I was like, Oh, damn.

She was like, Oh, he had terminal cancer.

I'm like, Oh, that's sad, but that's literally not how he died.

Like, she was like, He left to there for Morocco.

He went to Morocco.

He like knew he was going to die and he went to say his goodbyes.

He has a lot of family there.

He has like a big community.

And seriously, lockdown started the next day.

He was stuck in Morocco and just like passed away there.

Yeah.

Without any of the members of his family, like, oh my god, awful, traumatizing.

Like, and every time she talks about her dad, she starts crying.

And I think, obviously, like, losing a parent is triggering, but that's the craziest way to lose someone that, like, I don't think, and her sister too, when they went home, the sister brought up the dad, she immediately started crying.

Like, it's so, that's seriously the craziest story I've ever heard.

Like, I couldn't believe it.

But back to her and Tom, yes, he is, they have this like weird, she's very traditional, and she like owns that too.

She's like, I know this is like not okay to say, but like, I think the man should be a provider.

And she talks like, cause she, like, her cultural background is like, that's the vibe.

And like, thank you.

Like, that's just so honest.

Yeah.

She's so honest.

She's also like handles awkward or uncomfortable situations so well.

Like the way she carries herself, I think is admirable.

Like, like when, um, what's her name, Tash?

Yeah.

He finally meets the other girl at the bar and she lets them talk like for a good amount of time.

And then it gets to a point where it's like actually disrespectful, the length.

Yeah.

And she just comes over and she's like, Tom, my feet hurt.

Like, can we go find somewhere to sit?

Like, okay, the balls of steel.

Yeah.

Admirable.

No, and you see it play out with so many other situations where they're like quivering.

And then every time they go over there, they like make such a big deal out of it.

And everybody's like clocking, taking their temperature.

It's just so awkward.

And she just is a pro.

Jasmine, too.

We love Jasmine.

We'll get to her relationship, but that's not the main storyline about Jasmine.

No, no, no.

Jasmine is a queen.

No, Jasmine and why did I keep almost calling her Alexa?

No, no, no.

Maria.

Maria, it's that's been so interesting to also see like how women in the UK carry themselves.

Like that's what a strong woman looks like in the UK.

I feel like we see strong women on Love is Blind a lot.

Not like this.

Like Laura, laura jairamami yeah but it's jarami i feel like a strong bold woman in the uk is different than a strong bold woman in america i don't know

other than they have an accent no i think the way that they carry themselves like jasmine and and maria really are so similar to me in the way they carry themselves like

they like project this persona and that's how people see them like it's so convincing and it's so i don't know what the it's like strong but it's a different word like it's they're just like very smart.

Yeah, it's really nice to watch.

And also like Tom, I hope that they don't get married.

They're talking as if they are going to, but like, I don't think that they're right for each other.

I think that he's a prick.

Yeah.

Um, and that she deserves someone better and warmer and kinder.

And even though she like laughs off all of his barbs and like he's sarcastic and mean, we did see that afterwards she cried about the makeup artist thing, even though like in the moment she handled herself like with so much race, she's still holding his hand.

Like, how strong are you to not like give him the reaction that he wants?

And then like she goes and cries.

You have to, you cannot marry that person.

No, you really, they're really not right for each other.

And I just can't believe he said that on TV.

I can only imagine.

Right.

And they don't film them in their apartments that much.

So what?

They had one hour of filming and that's what he decides to say.

Like he's like a scary mean person.

And you know that millions of people are going to see that.

So that's obviously like not the worst thing that you say.

Yeah.

I can only imagine what he says to her when the cameras are off.

Like seriously, I'm thinking of her.

And in a situation like that, like they're really acting like they're going to get married.

So are they just acting because like this is a show and the big if is if they're going to say yes or no?

So she's getting us to the finish line or like, is she really going to marry this person?

Because she's talking about how she wants a seat at the table for her dad at their wedding.

Like, are you going to have a reception?

I know.

Let's talk about Jasmine and Bobby.

We love Jasmine.

Love.

Oh my gosh.

Every girl in the pot.

I feel like, I mean, this is also just like my perspective, but I just feel like everyone's been impacted by Jasmine and like her tutelage, you know, and we are all a friend like Jasmine one, like for the advice.

But I just also feel like the way that she carries herself and the way she like dresses so great.

She's really a girl's girl.

Done to the nines.

And I feel like she's just like someone you would want in your bunk and who's like clothes you would be stealing.

Who would like give you confidence that you would bring with you to the school yet?

And whose bed you'd always be sitting on.

Like she has the best story.

She borrows your, she lets you borrow her clothes.

Yeah.

And now, you know, she gets it from her mom, which

best character

on the show.

They were hyping up her mom so much.

I'm like, what is she going to be?

Like, she was more than I expected.

Like, seriously, she was hysterical.

Hysterical.

And like, pretty factual to cut, like,

she concerns that she has like are legit concerns.

One, the process is concerning, but like, I think you have to set that aside and trust that your child hasn't gone off the rails.

And that, like, if they do marry this person within a month, like they just happen to get it right.

Right.

But then you have to talk about the person.

Like, can you provide for my daughter?

Where are you going to live?

Like, these are legit questions.

And I feel like the thing we know least about Jasmine is about her relationship with Bobby.

Like, I thought that they were.

kind of like not a strong couple, but like she's a strong woman and I'm enjoying watching their storyline.

But then they had that conversation for the last date before the weddings weddings and like they're getting married.

Yeah, no, they just have been like coasting and we don't know a lot about them, but I actually think they're really well suited for each other because Jasmine is a really type, like a strong type of personality, right?

She kind of is alpha and he's like a little beta and it kind of works.

Yeah.

Like, yeah, it'd be nice for her to get someone who's like, you know, big personality, make lots of money, but you can't have like two hotheads in a relationship like that.

And there's really only room for Jasmine in that relationship.

And I think Bobby fits kind of perfectly in her life.

And I, and I kind of like him.

I think he really likes her.

Yeah.

I mean, who wouldn't?

No, she's fabulous.

And I think he like appreciates what we appreciate about him.

Yeah.

He just kind of like sits back and lets her shine.

And I kind of love her.

Yeah.

I think that they're so great.

I think there's a chance that they say yes to one another.

After what they said, their conversation before weddings was the most convincing thing I ever saw because they were the only couple not talking about the wedding day.

They were talking about their future together.

It wasn't about like, if I say yes, who's sitting where?

It was like, and about my dress is for you.

It was about like, she used the word, our love is eternal.

That person's getting married or she deserves an Oscar.

Yeah.

The last couple is Demi and Ollie, who I think is.

Another one that literally, I'm like, are they going to say yes?

I feel like they are.

Are they going to be together forever or is one of them going to kill the other?

Like, it's so confusing.

They had the roughest, I think, start post-pods, but they've kind of taken a backseat in the last couple of episodes, just like being stable.

I think a lot of us.

felt like Ollie didn't like.

And I think a lot of the girls were receiving that too, because Jasmine in Greece is like, if you don't like her, just be honest.

And he's like acting one way, but saying something completely different.

So it's really confusing for her and for everyone else watching.

It's like, you say you're committed, you say you've never been happier, you say she's the only girl for you, but your body language, the things you're saying, the way you're acting is weird.

Yeah.

And I think a lot of the girls are picking up on things that we can't pick up at home.

Yeah.

Because everyone's like, Demi, what's wrong with you?

Demi, you feel different.

Demi, you're not the girl we meet.

And it's not just like they're being annoying because then later in the season, when they're out together again, they're like, we're back.

They're like, you feel like you again.

You know, so they're not just like looking for stuff.

No, no.

and she like at point she makes me really sad because she admits that she you know is kind of this insecure person and this process has made her even more insecure and i don't know i i feel like every time she's on my screen she's a different person yeah like i think that in her own life she was going through something and then the timing of the show like didn't help i think we're watching someone like actively go through something and i don't even know what that thing is yeah and then with ollie it's like It was so bad.

I'm like, these two will never, could never.

But then like with the families meeting, like i don't know it's like kind of going well it's going well and i'm like confused like are they about to get married yeah

and it's it is really interesting like kind of the elephant in the room is like this is the first time maybe not the first time but i think love is blind while the concept is good the one thing they really don't breach on is people of different weights and i think that there have been a few instances where there is someone usually a girl who is you know because everyone that they cast like while they all look different they're all like kind of you know in the same league yeah And weight is a thing in relationships, right?

Like people won't date someone who's not in shape, especially if like fitness is a big part of your life.

And I feel like they never really get into that.

The couple of, like, when I think of plus size people who have been on the show, it's like Alexa, right?

And Alexa met a man who seriously, like, couldn't, could not be more obsessed with her if he tried.

It's like kind of a fairy tale scenario.

And I think if you're a plus-size person who's been on dates, like, you know that that's not the case most of the time.

Last season, there was Chelsea, right?

Who was like, was plus-size.

It never got brought up and she she kind of self-sabotaged before it could even be a conversation.

So they've never really, I think, tackled that.

And I think it's, it's, I mean, I feel awkward even like saying these things.

Like, it's a, it's kind of like a big thing.

And I see people who are like talking about it on TikTok, who talk about their experience dating as a plus size person.

It's like, it's such a thing in dating.

And,

you know, it's usually like if a man is overweight, like nobody fucking cares.

No, I'm talking about women.

And so Demi, I think, is coming, like, she's, she's like having this experience in real time.

And And that's why when she went on the

wedding dress shopping excursion, she ended up like giving this sort of like lecture to everyone.

Like in the moment of empowerment.

And it's because like she's like, yeah.

And I think like Ollie like really loves her.

I think.

And I think she was like realizing that at the dress ceremony.

And she's like, look at me.

I'm trying on dresses on TV, which is like something I would never do.

Yeah.

No, and she's acknowledged, she, even before she met Ollie, she was like worried about what she looked like and how he would react to that.

But then he also said like, she's got curves in all the right places.

Like, and she is so beautiful.

So, I feel like they discuss that.

I think the issue with Ollie and Demi is like, even if Ollie was giving her all the assurance that she needed, which he's not, and I do feel like at points, he was gaslighting her, not anymore since they've been back in London.

Might just be easier to stay apart until they say no.

I have no idea.

And they like hanging out with each other's friends.

So that's good.

Even if he was doing all of that, like Demi's insecurities are going to sabotage this relationship because she's really

not giving off positive energy, especially on the honeymoons like tray cup yeah and that's just like not the vibe for a honeymoon like you want to be like smiley and cheery and like and and not like this this storm cloud so like i feel like she was right to feel that way most of the time because he was being confusing but she was not helping her case with her energy of just like grumpy cat yeah However, she is so much happier now.

And now it's like, okay, she is that like positive ray of light.

And so I do see their relationship differently.

And like maybe they will go all the way yeah i think there's a chance but she's so crazy yeah i think it would be crazy if they said yes just like

No, just like what?

Like no, and they're, they're genuinely like not well suited for each other.

Like, yeah, and I think Demi deserves

better and more.

No, someone who will give her like that affection and stuff.

She's always just like asking for more.

And like, no, and I always see that when every now and then you see like his masks up a little bit like when he said Charlotte talking about Charlotte, I could say Charlotte's gorgeous fire.

Also like Charlotte.

Like I think everybody loves Charlotte.

And And when we were watching the pods, I'm like, who is that girl?

Like, she kind of like busted through the lens with like her personality.

She was so cute looking.

Charlotte, I don't think she said one word.

I still don't think she said one word.

You just see her in the background, like, working out or journaling.

And it's like, who's that?

Wait, I'm sorry.

We forgot about Nicole and Benaya.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

I actually really like them as a couple, but it needs to be said that, like, I don't think Nicole is okay.

Like, seriously, how anyone could choose Sam when, and not only, and, and I know Benaya really struggled to

verbalize it.

And maybe he didn't do it enough because he was just like, listen, I don't think he's here for genuine reasons.

Like what he should have said is he called you fat.

Like, no,

because he didn't.

Cause how can he call her fat when he hasn't?

He didn't insinuate it.

What he should have said is like, he won't love you if you're fat.

Like he was worried about a comment that you made, but I don't know what the right way to go about it is.

Jasmine said something to him about it.

Benaya, two people who I think she really respects and she still chose him.

Yeah, well, I think I'm trying to like empathize with her because I feel like.

With Benaya, the connection was really strong, but like he was sort of like giving

non-committed.

Like if she chooses him, will he choose her and will he propose?

I feel like she didn't have that assurance.

And she's someone who really wants to be in love, like really wants to be married, a very serious girl.

She has this

Sam saying everything you want to hear.

Now, us as the viewer, we can see he said that to everyone.

We can see he's full of shite.

Yeah.

More than anyone who's ever been on TV before.

He's an anomaly to me.

He will say anything.

Literally

anything to stay on the show and get married.

And like we can see that.

But for her who just wants to feel loved, it's like, wow, this man is saying everything.

And like, she doesn't even have, it's only hearing it through a wall you can't get intonation or genuine you like you really have to trust and if she's not trusting the process what is she doing there i also think she's just someone who doesn't have like good instinct but like immediately when she saw him she could feel that something was off and like that he is not genuine he's literally just saying whatever the reveals like seriously will never cease to make me so uncomfortable like even the best ones right no the best ones there's nothing better than a best like i think of some of the best ones as being like lauren and cameron and alexa

don't remember that one.

I remember Alexa and Brennan.

Like, I seriously watched Ed Season.

Jaggie.

I can't believe you didn't watch Ed Season.

It's seriously the best one.

Maybe I'll watch it.

So Benaya and Nicole, I actually do think that they're well-suited for one another.

I don't think they'll get married.

I think they should get married.

I think they're perfect together.

I think she'll say yes.

And he'll say no.

I don't know.

He was crying in Germany.

His mom, yeah.

I think they should both say yes.

Not just learning so much about the UK just in time for us to see that graphic.

Like, it's kind of gorgeous.

No, and so she's bringing her from Ireland.

They had to take a plane.

Elfis.

Then the Irish Sea, the mom's worried about because he works in London.

Right, Benaya, right, right, right, right.

Benaya is from the north.

He goes north for his landscape.

Oh, that's the other thing.

Culturally.

He goes north.

We are learning so much about different jobs that don't exist.

Oh my God, we're trying to figure out what Demi does as a supervisor to the attendance team.

She's the supervisor of the attendance team and what that means.

Okay, so we looked it up.

In a school,

my guess was HR.

Not right.

So in a school, there's a thing called like an attendance manager or team of attendants, whatever.

And they like look out for kids.

Like a truant officer.

I don't know what that is.

They look out for kids who are chronically, who are chronically absent.

And Demi.

Demitruant officer.

Demi is the supervisor.

of those

attendance.

That feels like a very specific way for them to write it on TV when it could have been like school counselor or something.

School worker.

Yeah.

Super, maybe it's a superintendent.

Maybe she's the, yeah.

So if anybody knows like what the U.S.

word for that is, we're like, also, what does Bobby do?

Luxury shopping guide on a cruise.

No, no, no.

I looked at it.

You guys are so hung up about the thing that he said about cruises.

But I feel like that was something he did one time.

And I was getting like a below deck vibe.

That's just me.

No, I looked it up.

It's like a thing on cruises.

Like your job is to help people shop.

It's like you work in sales, like you make a mission.

Okay.

Yeah.

A lot of confusing.

And Jasmine is a mental health nurse.

Yeah, I've not heard of that.

So, what's the equivalent?

Counselor?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Counselor Snitch.

Jasmine would be the most amazing counselor.

Like, give me all your advice.

Catherine is a dental nurse.

That's easy.

Yeah.

Bob,

Frankie, Freddie is a funeral director.

The jobs, though, like, that's super interesting to me.

Tom is PR.

Maria is makeup.

Makeup artist.

Sabrina.

I don't remember.

I don't remember.

I know this owns a gym.

Right at CrossFit.

With his buddies.

Right.

Nicole.

Corporate lawyer.

Like, she has a big high pack.

She's very cheap.

She's like a big swing-in.

Yeah.

She makes a lot of money.

Nice.

Benaya,

structural landscaper.

Whatever that gardener?

Like, what is that?

I think that's like, yeah, landscaper.

It could be, you could be like the architect of landscaping.

You could be the admirable scaper.

On Bravo, where they had like those backyard designers.

Yeah.

I think that's what he does.

Like a landscaper.

Yeah.

But like a landscaper can mean a million things.

But maybe like structural.

So what if like if I want to build a portico chair,

call banaya i would love one or like that guy with the commercials cambridge paving stones

yeah tech they always look like new or like if i wanted a zen garden right right right or if you were like building patio with an outdoor fireplace or something some someone who comes in and like structures your landscape i literally need a structure i have a lot of plans yeah i but i don't know like i actually have what if you just called banaya i've been looking for the term for the person that i'm looking for and thank you love is buying you okay i think i'm looking for a structural landscaper like i need my zen garden for my cold plunge in my garden.

Ding, ding, ding.

I'm going to start a garden when I get home.

Are you excited?

I am.

I am.

Are you guys excited to hear about it?

It's going to be great.

I'm a green thumb.

The weddings come out, I think, on the 21st, three days, Wednesday, I think.

We will keep you abreast.

If you

haven't watched, honestly, I can't recommend it enough.

It's one of the best seasons of TV I've seen in a while.

Most of you watch Love is Blind.

So if you're into that

vibe trope, this is such a good one.

Like so many great casts of characters, and you'll be introduced to Freddy, who's like, seriously the best person we've ever seen on TV.

Agreed.

Like,

if not for Freddy alone, and I just need like a lifetime of happiness for him with Molly Mae.

Agreed.

And, like, I'm sure Molly Mae is like down in the dumps watching Love is Flying UK.

She should slide into his Instagram.

Although, we looked at his Instagram and it leaves much to be desired.

So maybe don't look at it.

He's obviously like not had the royal treatment yet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He needs to go through his old social media posts.

Stop.

Okay, well, now are you ready for the fast five stories that you need to know?

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Our first story, an update from what we spoke about Friday, which turned out to be like a big fat nothing lie.

a big lie Dakota Johnson flashes her massive emerald engagement ring at paparazzi after shutting down Chris Martin split rumors so Dakota and Chris are still together that story that was reported everywhere not even just like us getting it wrong it was it was fact it was not fact no no but like it was reported as fact it was reported as fact yeah it wasn't like a theory um they're still together governance

happen I don't know why does that happen like nobody even it's not even like they're often reported on it's not like Ben and Jen right right right so who by the way I'm getting so fatigued with.

Like, I like, don't even want you to choose them as stories.

I don't choose them as stories.

Like, until the filing, I don't choose it as story.

Of course, they're certainly getting they're split up.

Like, she's there, even though she was at Jennifer Gardner's house.

Every once in a while, they do something to like throw off the scent.

She was just at the mall with one of the affleck kids.

Like, if you're a step parent for such a short period of time and the kids are much older, like and they have a very involved mother.

Like, do you hang out with them post-divorce?

No, no, so they're trying to throw off the scent until the filing happens, we won't be talking about it.

Happy to know Dakota and Chris are still together.

Like, I definitely wasn't happy to hear that they had split.

Same.

And it took some of my serotonin away.

And now I couldn't put it back.

No, I really like these two.

And it's like, they're such a stable force in Hollywood.

I think they have a lot of really famous friends.

I think people really like them in the

culture, but also in Hollywood itself.

So I'm so glad that they're not broken up.

Although I was excited about the prospect of Dakota Johnson being back on the dating scene.

Like we had to take her off our list.

I wasn't even because I don't think she would ever be dating someone like as

interesting to us and he's like as Chris Martin.

Like I feel like the next person she dated would be like a true person we don't know anything about or like an indie artist.

Like I'm glad it's like the big indie artist.

Yes.

The biggest of the, you know, no, I'm so happy that this was.

It's not like she's going out with Zach Efron.

But the low state of entertainment journalism, like how is it so widely reported, confirmed that two people broke up who are literally together?

Right.

And I'm obsessed with this picture of her flashing her ring, looking at the paparazzi like, you stupid idiots.

You know, she's not even smiling.

She's like, like, dumb, dumbass.

Yeah, it's like, it's giving condescending in the best possible way.

I, they could never make me hate.

Nobody does condescension like Dakota Johnson.

Nobody.

That's not true, Ellen.

Well, that's not true.

Constantly people are lying about her.

It's so true.

Like, why?

And I would feel bad for her, but I don't think there's a person more privileged on the planet.

Like, seriously, born into Hollywood Royalty became the face of the, one of the biggest movie franchises in history without ever acting a day in her life.

Before it even came out, it was a billion-dollar movie.

There was no question that it was going to be.

And I want to say something, and it's going to sound mean, but it's not because I love her.

Like Dakota Johnson, like literally can't act.

Like it's insane.

She did such a bad job in that movie.

Like the whole time I was like, oh, this is a woman acting community theater.

I love how like she literally doesn't give a fuck.

She did Madam Webb, like one of the worst movies ever made, went on tour and was like, I was like totally agree with you guys.

This movie is horrible.

It sounds like it was written by AI.

Like she's so real for that.

No, she keeps it real.

They could never make me hate her.

Yeah.

No, it must be nice to be Dakota Johnson.

Like Like seriously, what does Dakota worry about?

Now, I know everyone's life is their own behind closed doors.

La la la la la.

Nobody's life is perfect.

I do feel like Dakota Johnson's is extremely close.

Even like her, you know, what would be beef with the ex-wife, Garjee Pargi relationship, a best friend for life.

Yeah, and don't get me wrong, I'm sure, you know, Dakota Johnson has demons.

I'm sure Dakota Johnson's.

I'm not sure anything that's ever happened to Dakota is still the hardest thing that ever happened to her.

Just because you're drowning in 60 feet of water and I'm drowning in 10 feet of water doesn't mean I'm not drowning for sure.

Although I would like to just take a swim in Dakota's pool.

Like I i just she's one of the people it's like temperature perfect it probably doesn't have chlorine it's definitely like a saltwater pool and she's really gorgeous and it's she's so unique looking too like i feel like all these bitches today like everybody looks the same even the most beautiful girls i'm like i could tell you three girls who look like that not to be like a you know a woman hater she is so unique looking she doesn't look like anyone that i know yeah I just, I'm sorry, I love her and she stays winning.

She's so rich.

She's so famous and she does nothing.

Like she literally tries so little.

I love it.

Yeah.

It's It's nice like that there should be people out there like that.

Yeah.

So the balance, like the equilibrium or whatever.

Exactly.

Exactly.

I love her.

So happy to report.

They're still together.

Right.

Right.

And it's like, even when there was bad Dakota news, it never existed.

Like, that's the kind of life she lives.

Totally.

Our next person

story was probably someone who we would have said all those things about three weeks ago.

But now like things have taken a nosedive for Blake Lively.

It's not really fun anymore.

No.

I saw it was a TikTok.

It was from Amanda Hirsch.

She was like, seriously, this is like, I was having fun.

Like, and now we're like really canceling people.

I'm out.

No, I totally agree.

Blake Lively is now being called out again for repeatedly using a problematic transgender slur in resurfaced interviews.

So, a quote from her 2012 interview with Elle, and from what I've seen,

it's a text quote.

It's not her saying this on video or anything, but she

gave a quote to Elle saying, I hope to have a few girls one day.

Oh, this is also funny knowing that she like has so many girls.

She said,'Oh, I hope to have a few girls one day.

If not girls, they better be.

You guys know the word for transgender that rhymes with granny.

Like I, it's not productive if you don't know the word.

No, for sure.

It makes, it's hard to report on like when people like have, you know, drama with slurs because you guys are like, what slur?

Right.

Like when it was S-P-A-Z.

Right, right.

That was a really confusing.

Now, I want to say something because

she said, if not girls, they better be grannies because I have some amazing shoes and bags and stories that need to be appreciated.

So she uses the word not derogatory at all.

I think she's like hoping for one, you know?

It's important to note, and I like, I, what, the reference that I always use, and I'm sure everyone's tired of me, me saying it, is Sex in the City, right?

Is there a show that celebrates the LGBTQ plus community more?

Is there literally written and created by a gay man?

Like it's, you can't say Sex in the City is homophobic or transphobic, right?

They use that word in a couple of episodes where Samantha has those ladies outside her window who like won't be quiet at night.

And there was a time where that is how, you know, the community was referenced.

I think RuPaul has spoken about it at length.

It's a word he uses all the time.

He loves it.

And he like won't give it up and he doesn't find it offensive.

I do think it's like,

we are now currently living in the era of like post,

but there was an era where it was okay.

Yeah.

As with a lot of things, as with just like language and culture.

Bergie, let's get it started.

Right, right, right.

And like, I'm sorry, in high school, like, you could not stop me using that word.

Like, I'm just going to be honest.

Like, I use it all the time.

Entourage.

Entourage.

They use R word all the time.

F-word.

Yep.

R-word.

T-word.

No, friends, they don't use the F-word.

They use.

F.

You said they do.

Entourage.

I get it.

An entourage.

Yeah.

Entrage season one.

Every other word is the F-slur or the R slur.

Like, and that just, it was the culture at the time.

So now we're just, and this is what I was saying at the beginning.

Like, I am no longer having fun with the NNs with us drama because now, like, someone's being canceled.

That's like seriously not what I signed up for.

I don't participate in like going back to people's, you know, tweets, interviews.

She said this publicly.

It wasn't like she was caught on record saying it privately.

Like, this is a time where using a word like that was okay.

Um, she's actually using it in a complimentary way, right?

The magazine published it, they didn't ask for it to get out that she said a slur.

Yep, yep.

So, like, this wouldn't print a slur.

I have officially like stopped participating in the It Ends With Us drama, and I think I literally invented the drama.

Like, I am not having fun anymore, like, for real.

Yeah, this isn't so not where I wanted it to go, and this has nothing to do with me being team blank.

This is just, I don't participate in cancel culture like this.

Like, I don't participate in this culture.

No, and this is textbook cancel culture.

Like, this is 14 years ago, ago, a word that at the time, again, was not starred out in this interview.

L magazine printed this.

People saw it.

It wasn't an issue at the time because it was before people really took umbrage with that word in a, in a mainstream way.

Like, I'm sure at the time there were people who were offended by that word, but the general public, like, did not know that.

And it was a different time.

There are a lot of things that occur at different times.

And, like,

those people's feet are not held to the fire.

There is a lot of grace for that.

It just depends who it is.

And I don't play that.

Like, this person can get away with it and that person can't.

Agreed.

Like seriously, this is so not fun.

This is so not what I want to be talking about.

Like, oh my God, times change.

Like, that's it.

Times change.

Like, things are different.

That was 14 years, 12 years ago.

Oh my God, not me, like not being able to do math.

What did I say?

I don't know.

I think I said 14 because that was like,

should I say 50?

Right.

No, 2024 or 2012, 12 years.

Yeah.

Like,

I'm like, no.

And if Blake Lively had like a history of being like, you know, beating up trans folks, like maybe this would be cause to concern.

she seems lovely i think she's probably accepting of all types of people and i don't give a how about that yeah no this is a serious serious reach this is a serious reach and like we've gotten to like this is what we're doing now yeah and i just like i'm sorry this is my thesis on life ready nobody hates women more than women like this is a we we started here because like everyone in the cast was wary of justin baldoni like it was clear like everybody had beef with him right this is where we got to and and don't get me wrong like this is a story this is the only only people who care about what's going on in the nets with us are women.

Right.

So we have gotten to a place now where this is what, what we're doing to Blake Lively.

Yeah.

Like, you're just never going to catch me doing this.

Like, seriously, this is such embarrassing behavior.

Touch cross.

Yeah.

I think now, like, Blake Lively's probably just going to lay low.

And she should, seriously.

Yeah.

I think the press store is probably over or it should end.

And like, people can't.

No, it's gone.

I'm sorry.

I, like, I really can't.

I can't get into this.

And I know people like don't like what I'm saying.

And I actually don't care.

Like, we are being so critical and so hard on how like Colleen Hoover and Blake Lively are promoting this movie.

Like I have never seen such a critical analysis of how a film, so many movies tackle serious issues.

Some movies tackle more serious issues.

There are Holocaust movies made.

Like, have we ever sat back and been like, I don't like how George Clooney is promoting this movie?

Like we have literally never done that.

And we're only like, and so it's, I just, yeah, you guys know how we feel at this point, but just letting you know, like, it's really taken a crazy turn.

Yeah, no, I'm seriously, I'm done now.

Yeah.

Until further notice.

I'm going to be real with you.

You look like clowns in the words of Kim Kardashian.

Like going back, this is just behavior I don't participate in.

I don't.

Yeah.

Next story.

Brarry.

Barry Kyogan shares a rare photo with his son, Brando, amid Sabrina Carpenter breakup rumors.

So a lot going on in the Sabrina sphere.

First of all, her album comes out this week, short and sweet.

So cute.

I'm so excited for Sabrina.

Agreed.

Then also it was like came out yesterday that her and Barry have like an on-off again relationship.

Like it's not solid as a rock.

And I came out that they were broken up and then it was like, no, they're actually just like always like breaking up.

Right.

So I think right now they're like in and off.

Um, okay.

This is a relationship that like I'm happy to cheer for.

You won't find me crying when it ends because I didn't see Saltburn.

So like, and to me, like Sabrina like streams skim, like I, I would love to see her with the Zach Ephraim.

Well, okay, so here's the thing.

Like I champion Sabrina, right?

Like I'm a fan of Sabrina.

If Sabrina's happy, I'm happy.

And I love that she was dating Barry like at the height of Saltburn, right?

Like Barry Kyogan was the name on everybody's lips for a brief period.

And like, that's when she was dating him.

I do feel like some of the saltburn hype has worn off and now she needs to date someone like a little bit more relevant.

I agree.

Like now she's keeping him afloat by putting him in her music videos.

Right, right.

Who is somebody everybody's talking about right now, besides Justin Beldone?

And Zach Afron.

Like for me, it's Zach Afron.

No, I know, but who's like having a moment right now?

Let's go to the list.

No, he's not going to be on the list, the person I'm thinking of.

Like, what's a TV show?

Like, shh,

uh, Freddie.

She needs to date Freddie.

Glenn Powell.

Well, Glenn Powell actually just went to a Tate McCray concert.

Um, you know, they like hang out a lot, and I feel like they're cute.

Even though who she dates, oh, she's dating someone, she's dating someone.

Jeremy Allen White, who is Barry Keoghan.

Oh my God, wait.

Jeremy Allen White and Sabrina Carpenter, like that is what dreams are made of.

Knowing she like wouldn't even have to change anything.

She like is the same person.

She's still wearing her.

Probably have the same size clothes.

Like she could just like.

There's like a Barry Keogan-sized hole in her bed.

And Jeremy Allen White fits perfectly.

Yeah.

He just has like a little bit more hair.

Yeah.

I also didn't know that Jeremy Allen White.

And he's in a series, not a movie.

So it's like continuing fame.

Wait, they're literally the same person because I didn't know Barry Kyogan like had kids.

And if I did, I just didn't care.

So does Jeremy Allen White, his daughter.

And Barry has a two-year-old.

So like, that's like a little.

Yeah.

What does that mean?

I don't know, like that he was recently like in a serious relationship.

He's got a lot going on.

Yeah, I think if you were to look deeply at his like previous relationship timeline, like it wouldn't be favorable.

Yeah.

Like, I don't know if it cues him up for Sabrina to be like the one, and now it makes more sense, like, on and off.

And I'm sure, like, he, and his time is not his own with the two-year-old.

Correct.

And maybe that, maybe the two-year-old drove a wedge between him and Sabrina.

As it should, not to blame her.

Him, Brando, cute name.

And he's so cute, but like, as it should, because like you can't be like with your girlfriend who's taking over the world and you can't go with her to take over the world, but like you have a two-year-old.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's true.

If you want to be present, I just want to say, like, I personally like now i'm just so championing him and jeremy allen her and jeremy allen white like you can't see anything else i can't say anything else although he was connected to rosalita rosalita jimbalha

i don't know if that's still a thing i think it might be because like they really i think bonded over their love of cigarettes like they really did well sabrina smokes sabrina could smoke yeah if she wanted to i could see sabrina vaping i don't know if sabrina smokes so i shouldn't have said sabrina smokes but like anybody could pick up a a cigarette and start smoking.

Right, like you're not special because you smoke.

I actually think that if Sabrina smoked, she would smoke cigarettes because she's all like vintage-y.

It's true.

I think that like all

are like too modern for her aesthetic.

When you're a singer, it's like tough to smoke.

And every now and then, I'll like find out that like someone smokes and it really shocks me.

No, but Lady Gaga, it makes your voice kind of garage and carrying it.

Well, it depends what your aesthetic is.

I think Lady Gaga, like the rasp behooves the music.

Sabrina's very like vocally feather.

Yeah, like Ari can't be chain smoking.

No, no.

Lady Gaga can chain smoke.

Harry Styles, I think, smokes.

And I think it works.

And of course, like Amy Winehouse smoked, and I think, you know, her voice was

better off.

Yeah.

It would have been the RG anyway, but it was like the vibe.

It was the vibe, right?

And it's not Sabrina's voice.

It's Sabrina's aesthetic vibe, perhaps, perchance, but not audio.

No, audibly.

I feel like she really has to preserve her voice.

Yeah.

I feel like Barry Kyogan probably smokes.

1000%.

Yeah.

You can always tell like when an actor or actress smokes, like,

because if they have to do it in like, like, cause he smoked, I think, in her music video, and it was like so natural.

But sometimes you see him like, you definitely don't smoke.

Yeah.

Like, you're not like doing the vibe right.

Or you're just like a weenie.

And a lot of people are that.

It's so true.

Is that a transition to a story about a weenie?

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

But it is time for our next story, which is our fourth story.

Oh my God.

Our fourth story.

The fourth.

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Our next story,

the new Skims cover girl is Charlie XCX.

She fronts the Shapewear brand's latest campaign.

So

like a string of just high-profile campaigns and it girls, Kim has tapped Charlie XCX to star in her new Shapewear brand, in her Shapewear brand's latest campaign, which she's the singer and internet darling, posing the brand's new cotton ribbon cotton fleece styles.

So I feel like whenever

anyone's having a moment, like Skims does such a good job of grabbing them in a timely manner, like they turn this stuff because you never know it's going to go viral, you know?

Like, I, the most impressive is when they have those white lotus girls.

Like, they were literally famous for a week and Kim got them on Tuesday.

Like, it was really brilliant.

And I think this also cements Charlie because Charlie very much like operated.

She's having a moment, but like it really started small and like really within the gay community.

And I think she really like has this summer blown up.

Obviously, Brad Summer, her music is everywhere, like for everyone.

And I think like, you know, getting a Skims campaign is really kind of like the last big thing before that's like cemented.

So I think this is a big deal.

Now, obviously, I can't help but make this about Taylor, you know, of course.

It's like, it's, you know, Skims and Charlie is big for everyone.

But like to me, it's like, oh, it's the, I hate Taylor Club.

Yeah, but it's usually like Skims is like the I love Taylor Club these days.

And it's like,

it's very confusing for me to understand how that happened.

So like, I like this because it makes sense.

It says your one plus one is equaling two.

Yeah, not like suck.

And are there people feeling weird?

And they had to ask.

And then the Sabrina, what, when she mentioned that she talked to Taylor about skims, like people can't get over that.

That was the headline.

And then she addressed that headline when she did Variaby's cover.

And then her addressing it.

Because then the next headline, like, it's a lot.

And it makes me feel weird that, like, you know, Sabrina might be feeling pulled into different directions.

And it happens to a lot of Del Ree.

Like, it's confusing because, like, when my best friend has a mortal enemy, like, they are my enemy.

I take on that enemy for myself.

Like, I'm certainly not going to be like working with them and promoting them.

Like I'm just, I'm going to be with my best friend.

No, no, it was definitely confusing at that time.

And I think it's recently got even more confusing.

So this is like this because it follows like a very linear trajectory.

Yeah.

And it makes sense.

Like Charlie, it's Charlie August.

There we go.

Right.

And there was like no sort of hesitations for Charlie to be like, oh, should I do this?

There's a reason why I shouldn't do this.

No, there are actually even more reasons why I should.

Although, just like add her to the list of people who have opened for Taylor Swift and also starred in Skims campaigns.

Like

who

like the all the other ones who are still she's on a separate list of people who have opened for taylor swift who no longer speak to tailored that and who actively beef with tailored yeah that to me is and i think she has denied that there's any sort of beef but like for me you can i can't be no i mean if they're not like congratulating each other on their new music then there's beef yeah there just is

Where's Camilla and Taylor?

Where is Camilla Cabello and Taylor?

Like, I don't think that they have beef at all, but there was a point where they were so up each other's asses, like publicly, privately, hanging out, double dates, like everything.

They have not been spotted together in a really long time.

And, you know, Camilla also just doesn't like do spotting anymore.

Like, she's smoking.

She's between albums.

So she's just living off the grid.

She's like not between albums.

She's like actively on the grid, like releasing new stuff, making TikToks with anyone who will make a TikTok with her.

Like she's actively in her thirsty era.

The era you're referring to like did and like two months ago.

Yeah, like and it was a long time.

So at first I was like, well, Camilla Komeo hasn't been spotted with anyone.

So like the tailor of it all isn't weird, but it's weird.

Like I'm officially, you know, confused.

Yeah.

So, congrats to Charlie and Skims on the great photos and collaboration.

Look at a no-brainer for everyone involved.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Yeah.

One of my favorite swirlies is

like, I feel like I could use a little bit of like a touch.

You actually like have a nice color.

I'll take yours.

Like, don't be too singy.

No, no, no.

Bring it up.

The thing about this color, though, is not super,

it looks very natural and it might dull your shine.

I'm just saying.

I'm used to it.

You're used to it, really?

Who's dulling your shine, Turdy?

Talk to us.

Everyone.

Everyone who wants, like, everyone wants a piece of me.

Open up.

Because

shine.

Shiny.

They're dull in your shiny.

Okay, I'm ready for the fifth and final now that I have my lipstick on.

Fifth and final.

Lipstick on a pig.

One of my favorite girls making news.

Julianne Huff is on a press tour for her book, and she's actually making a lot of news.

But one thing.

Good for her because seriously, no one was talking about her book and now they are well i follow her on instagram so like i've been knowing about her book and it's a fiction book so it's different it's not like we can get teasers of like her life story right it's you don't want to spoil the fiction book so anyways she has her new book coming out and she went on watch what happens live and she was asked a question car a good question car i want to say we always are talking about how like andy gets a good gossip from people and he does ask really good questions but really the audience interaction because they have people like zoom in those people like are so fucking shady they ask the craziest for sure when they can like stop talking for a second and get to the question.

Hi Andy, I love you and I make it in Minneapolis.

I got your book.

And you just know Andy like hates these people.

He's like, thanks so much.

What's your question?

I feel like I hate it so much because I know how angry it makes Andy and how it like sets like

sets him off and ruins the show.

Yeah.

And he only likes it.

And he's so worried about the time of his show.

No, he's he only likes when people compliment him when he's actively promoting something.

Like when he promotes his books, he does like a four-month promotion on Watch Open's Live.

Like it's brought up every single episode.

And when people are like, Andy, we love you.

We love your book.

And he's like, hold it up.

Thanks.

That's the only time he likes it.

And when he's not, he's like, shut up.

No, seriously, like, he doesn't give the guests one minute to even answer a question.

He hates that Zoom part because people sit.

People take advantage because it's their 15 seconds.

I'm getting like every time they have their quarterly Watch What Happens Live meeting, like he tries to get them to stop doing that.

And they're like, no, Andy, like, it's good for the show.

And I think Watch What Happens Live started as like a fanning community show.

And like, so much of that has been taken away.

And like, I think that the Zoom is a core tenant of the show.

And Andy's like, oh, fine.

Yeah.

No, no, no.

And I'm surprised at this point they haven't just done pre-recorded people where they cut out everyone's like, Andy, I love you so much.

I've been watching House Ways forever.

And they just cut that out and say, my question's for Kim.

Right, right.

But it is live most of the time.

Right.

So Carter V wants to know if there's any, if there's ever been a Dancing with the Stars winner that you've strongly disagreed with, Andy asked.

Which is such a great question because the lore around like who gets cast on Dancing with the Stars, who ends up winning Dancing with the Stars is like highly controversial.

And anyone involved, like between the judges or the pros, they never, they never talk about it.

It's very subjective.

Like,

so she said, um, and she, uh, Mickey Guyton reached over and tapped her on the arm while clearing her throat.

And then Julianne said, I think she has an answer for that about Mickey Guyton, who was the other guest.

Hold on.

And then Andy asked Mickey who she said.

And Mickey replied, I just said Bobby Bones.

Oh.

And then Julianne said, I actually agree with you.

She said, and I think it's because of the fan base.

It's all about fan base on that show.

He was not the best dancer.

Right.

I just want to say, like, Mickey Guyton hates Bobby Bones.

That's really crazy.

I have so many things to say.

And like, as a fan of Bobby Bones, I don't appreciate the slander.

Like, and why did it have to be Bobby?

Although, I do want to say, because I remember when, I wasn't watching the show, but I remember when he won, how it was like, the audience was in a tizzy.

Yeah.

So that was like not a crazy one to say because, yes, objectively, he might have not been the best dancer, but if it was just about the best dancer, they wouldn't have fan voting.

Fan voting.

Yep.

So that's what it is.

I appreciate Julianne for giving an answer because these days people wouldn't give an answer.

Maybe, and then I have to appreciate Mickey Guyton for like pushing her to give her an answer and supplying her with one that like seems to be the right answer and that a lot of people will understand.

But like Mickey Guyton is like an upcoming country radio star.

Like saying that is kind of crazy.

No, okay.

So if you don't know who Mickey Guyon is, she's like a,

I wouldn't even say she's small.

She's like really having a moment, but she's new to the country music scene.

She's like.

big in country and like she gets a lot of work within country music like for CMA CMT and that's so Bobby Bones right like he hosts all this stuff if you don't know Bobby Bones he's the host of um like the biggest country music serious XM radio show.

And I guess he went on Dancing with the Stars and he won.

So for her to answer a question that wasn't asked to her and give an answer.

Nobody, nobody, Mickey Guyton throwing Bobby Bones in front of me.

Giving the answer as, you know, someone who's really powerful in country music, I feel like she hates him.

Like they have, they have beef.

100%.

And then they like high-fived after for agreeing with each other, but also acknowledge that he was great on Dancing with the Stars.

Damn, that's really crazy, actually.

It is kind of crazy.

She hates him.

Yes, she doesn't like him.

Julianne, I think, like, like was trying to be no

it's not a controversial answer i think if you asked any dancing with the stars lifelong fan they would say the season that made the least sense in terms of winner it's like it's a general consensus of the fans nikki guiten like hadn't tossed it to her i don't know if she would have answered she might have not been able to like drum up an answer in time anyway but it makes sense like you have this huge audience you're filming a show like you literally go on your radio show to millions of people and say like vote for me yeah no and everyone should have been running commercials like dancing with the stars like you would hope that everyone has a big audience that they can tap into.

They're supposed to.

Yeah.

And it's not always just audience because the biggest people don't always win.

It's not, it's not confirmed.

It has to be a mix of both.

Yeah.

Like decent scores and a big audience.

Right, right.

So that's, but like, if you really don't like the fan vote part of it, then that shouldn't be a part of it.

But I also do like that it shows that the fan votes actually matter.

And it's not like curated and we just like toss your votes into a bin.

He must have had so many more votes votes than who he was up against, like unignorable amounts.

Yeah.

Did Charlie D'Amilia win Dancing with the Stars?

Because literally, how could she not?

Right.

She's a professional dancer with a huge audience.

Like 100 million followers.

Yeah.

That's a good question.

Yeah.

Like if I were on her season, I just like would have stopped trying.

I was seeing like people are campaigning.

They want Jordan Chiles to be on Dancing with the Stars.

And it's like, I love her, but it really brings back to this thing we talk about at least once a year.

Like, I don't understand how that's fair.

How you're going to have seriously Jordan Chiles up against like a 300-pound footballer.

Yeah.

Yeah, right.

Or like a 300-pound footballer who seriously like doesn't know his right foot from his left because he seriously just like runs for a living instead of dances.

But at least Jordan Childs like is a trained gymnast.

It's different than like when it's Heather Morris and seriously Charlie D'Amelio.

Charlie D'Amilio is literally the greatest dancer.

Yeah, like seriously.

It's so crazy, but I don't think it's fair that Jordan Child should be precluded from something that is like the next thing in her career.

Like she deserves to be precluded.

She won't be precluded.

It's never going to be totally even when you have people of all ages, of all genders, like it's not

profession.

It's never going to be totally fair.

And like, I can accept that about Dancing with the Stars.

I mean, I can accept that.

I don't look for fairness.

Like, that's not where I get my dose of fairness.

So true.

So true.

But Julianne said what she said.

Mickey said what she said.

Let's see what happens.

Yeah.

Let's see if they stop playing Mickey Guyton on the radio.

Like, let's see.

Because.

Country music is so old school.

Like the way you get it.

That's how it works.

The way you get, like, popular and your songs out there, it's like you have to kiss the ass of country radio hosts.

Like, radio plays such a big part in the success of a country music artist.

Like, there are probably singers you've never heard of who get played all the time and are making so much money.

Like, it's really this.

But you could still, like, it's still 2024, so like, people can still get big on the internet, like Zach Bryan.

Yes.

Um,

a lot of like smaller artists can come up that way, but like there is still the traditional trajectory.

And I think that's the thing for pop music, too.

Like, there are still industry plans who are planting.

Yeah, yeah, but country.

But like, country really, it's a small world.

Like, there's a few key players, and like, it's just little

it's brave to call one of them out by their name for not being a good dancer.

That's our show, you guys.

Thank you so much for listening.

This is our final week of shows.

Well, not really.

We're just taking next week off.

It's officially like summer hiatus and then we're back in our usual remote setup starting September.

So just keep that in mind for next week.

Maybe start banking some episodes or join patreon.com slash a toes up.

Yeah, you know it'll be popping over on the Patreon.

When the girls are away, the Patreon will slay.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast on the Monday Morning Show where you tell the fastest life stories you need to know every Monday through Friday and YouTube.

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Bye.