Feeling Follicular: Wednesday, July 31st, 2024

Good morning, millennials.

And welcome.

Welcome to the toast.

Happy Wednesday.

Hope everybody's having an amazing, really glorious hump day.

I'm certainly having an amazing Wednesday.

Yeah, it's Tuesday.

We are doing something crazy.

We're so enjoying it.

No, no, I actually meant to talk to you about this.

That we need to pretend.

Like, my God, why can't we just, we do the episode every single day.

Okay, we have a big, like, busy day.

We have to pre-record.

Why do we have to tell people?

Because we're so authentic.

And like,

it just they need to know the headspace that we're that we're in and i think it's not a big deal okay i would rather lead with honesty lead with transparency i prefer to lead with lies but that's just saying lead with love okay and i also think they would be on to us because nighttime swirly podcasting energy is so different it's a little crazy than the gmm if you're a patron you know like when we record at night things just are haywire like it gives a lot of coconuts falling out of the coconut tree it gives mold it gives gives all the sort of crazy interfaces so yes i do agree with you that it's important that's how i feel when i share that i'm on my period

i feel like i'm not sharing with you guys because like i think you need to know i'm sharing with you because if i if i'm being bitchy or something it's like girl i'm literally on my period pitch your main to the context yeah oh my god like that's really i'm so glad you finally understand what i'm saying seriously like sustained i know you think like all these years i share every time i get my period like to bother you i don't

well you didn't share this week no and i did have my period just wrapping it up.

Yeah, honestly, what was so funny, I think it was whenever you got your period five days ago, I knew that you got your period.

And I saw someone commented on the YouTube being like, Claudia hasn't told us that she's gotten her period in a while.

And I was like, you're due.

Yeah.

And she was due.

No, they, the toasters know me so well.

They literally like, they keep track of, they're like, Turtle, you're in your luteal phase.

I was like, oh my God, thank you so much.

Your aura ring will also tell you that.

Okay, can I tell you something, actually?

I've always seen Tanya Rad talking about like the phases of her cycle and how she lines up like her workouts and just like her moods and her date nights based on like the ovulatory phase, the luteal phase.

And the follicular phase, which I think is the most bussing of the phases.

So the our ring has like started to tell me what phase I'm in.

And I actually feel like the difference in phases.

And I know that's not revolutionary.

It's like since the dawn of time.

I find it so helpful.

Yeah.

Especially when it comes to working out.

Like some days I literally can't.

Like my output is so crazy low.

It's like it's giving luteal.

It's giving follicular.

No, follicular, I greater than.

Okay.

So obviously menstruating phase is the phase.

Yeah.

Then ovulatory, which I know is ovulation.

Yes, but that's not, that doesn't come after menstruation.

Follicular comes after menstruation.

You feel your best right after you've had your period.

Oh, so I guess I'm in my follicular.

I'm not great.

I'm not feeling follicular.

Check your app.

Just confirm.

I think it goes follicular, ovulatory, luteal, menstruation.

Luteal?

I don't know.

You said it.

I thought it was luteal.

You said it.

Okay.

Luteal.

Yeah, I guess I'm in my.

Your follicular era.

Yeah.

It's giving follicular.

I think I'm in my follicular too.

We went from not talking about.

Can you tell?

You went from not talking about periods to telling us what phase you're in.

Well, now you know.

No, and at the end of the day.

Well, I did say I was here for transparency.

Well, also, I read a tweet that was actually really interesting.

I guess I'm on like luteal talk now or something.

Somebody was sharing that like, you know, your feelings can so drastically change towards your partner throughout your cycle.

And

after the, no, no.

oh, leading up to your period,

it's your body's like natural, when you start hating your husband.

And everyone's like, it's PMS.

No, it's actually your body's natural response to your partner.

It's like very much like caveman-like, like, because your body knows that your partner didn't fulfill his duty of getting you pregnant.

So you just hate him and you think he's worthless.

Like, that's literally your body's reaction.

I have to find the tweet because it was, I was like, oh, damn.

So it's literally not my fault.

I love that.

However, I love when biology gives us a reason to hate our husbands.

Yeah, no, everything makes sense.

Like, it's giving that song, The Architect by Casey Musgraves, like, it's designed to perfection.

So many things about the

female body make sense.

They explain themselves.

Except, like, what did God intend for us to do, like, with

the men's season?

Yeah, like, there's no built-in way.

I don't understand the question.

Like...

Pads, that's not part of nature.

Oh.

Tampons, that's not part of nature.

How were we meant to manage?

I think we were supposed to, like, lay out on a stack of hay.

Or like a leaf.

Yeah, but the leaf was like the OG sanitary napkin for sure.

Yeah, but then there should have, I feel like that part does.

It's like kind of excrement.

I guess it's like duty.

Yeah.

I know this conversation

wading into tough territory, except like duty can be fertilizer.

So like it's part of the cycle.

I just want to say I am extremely grateful to have lived.

in the time of pads, tampons, panty liners, diva cups, things of that nature, IUDs, like

drip syndicate.

I don't know how the girlies in the back of the day did it.

And I know like the wealthy girls probably had like, you know, people bleed for them.

That.

But also like, they probably wore, had like

cloth something.

Definitely.

But I do think they just like sat all day.

Yeah.

Ooh.

Yeah.

I don't know, but that's, that's my question.

Like.

What is the most natural way to do it?

How does, yeah.

Like, what did God intend?

What does Malarina Farm use?

I mean, I guess that's what the author was trying to ask literally what she said, but I don't, yeah, I don't know like what the the how did Eve do it, you know?

Yeah, what's like the intended way to do it is is my question sound off in the comments and let us know what phase are you currently in and how are you dealing with that?

Right.

No, and then I just was Tanya Red put out a great piece of content like how she plans her workouts around her I think she also plans what she's eating.

Yes, and her date nights because you feel like sexy.

Sometimes you feel like you hate your man.

And it's actually like she's kind of living in the future.

Yeah.

Her whole life is kind of surrounded.

She's at a high level of performance.

To me, I could absolutely never be that productive.

And like my life is just like constantly changing.

And I just, I don't think I could do it.

I would love to get to a place where I could.

But I also don't feel my hormonal mood swings that acutely.

Do you really feel like

PMS?

Yes.

And the hating of your husband.

specifically at that time.

I didn't even know that that was a thing.

No, I'm going to look out for that now.

I feel like period hormones.

Like I feel really down sometimes.

I feel really down on myself sometimes, obviously on Ben.

Sometimes I'm like, oh, I'm being so nice to men.

Like I do feel, yes.

Interesting.

Yeah.

I'm kind of a woman of nature in that sense.

Interesting.

Fascinating stuff, Letter.

So we went from me not being allowed to talk about my period to us doing a whole prefest.

If you want to talk about it in a way that's really helpful for women, then I'll allow it.

I'm all about helping women.

And no, I do mean that.

I don't just want to hear you on your period, like just to like set, you know,

just to set off like a bomb on the show

but like if you want to talk about what it means to be a woman I mean I would I'll have that conversation all day long I would love to talk about what it means to be a woman how much time do you have I mean how long do the Kurds give us these days these days the Kurds are kind of putting in the work endless Kurds endless and there's no video today because as you stated we recorded the night before we're in our jammas

which also adds to the experience.

Yeah, when we look ugly, we like feel crazy And we just, I think, feel more comfortable saying the things that maybe when we're all done up really hold us back.

You think it's that?

Yeah, I definitely feel, or it's also just like a level of comfort.

You know, you feel comfortable.

You just like things come out of your mouth.

Yeah.

But I also feel like most myself when I'm made up, I think you can just like argue it any which way.

Do you feel more yourself when you're fully done up to the nines?

Yes, like when we, like when we sit down to do a podcast, if we're going to do one, say, audio only and I don't do my makeup and I'm like sitting in my bed, like I definitely feel worse, more like haywire, crazy, fun, and funky, but like not professional and polished in the person that I want to be.

Yeah, I guess when I'm all done up, I don't feel most like myself, but I like myself more.

Major key.

Major key.

People stopped saying that, but I never did.

Speaking of major key, DJ Khaled's going viral.

He did a fridge tour.

Oh.

He had the craziest looking freezer I've ever seen in my life, like the most organized stacks on stacks, the biggest fridge I've ever seen, like giving Yolanda Hadid a run for her money and it was full of ice cream.

It was like the opposite of Yolanda Hadid's lemon fridge.

It was kind of amazing.

I believe that.

I feel like he's someone that would be at the Olympics,

just like in everyone's face.

I feel like he's not that guy anymore.

Like, when his Snapchat blew up and he became really like the biggest person in media, and it was kind of annoying.

He was everywhere to everyone all at once.

I feel like he's kind of taken a step back.

You think it's him stepping back or people being over it?

No, I think like if he wanted to go to the Olympics, like if he wanted to go to anything, like I think NBC would love to have him.

Like they have Snoop Dogg, and that's going so amazing.

He's doing a great job.

I will say he's making me giggle a lot.

And I actually think the Olympians really like him too.

He's like sitting with everyone's family.

I love that.

Yeah.

We are going to talk about the Olympics.

Huge day for Team USA when it came to girlies and the gymnastics.

Love to see it.

Literally took up my whole day.

I had the best time.

I love the Olympics.

Go America.

USA.

USA.

One thing about me, there's a USA champ.

Like I'm not going to be.

I'm chiming in.

I love.

Like I get chills.

Yeah.

I got a lot of chills during the Olympics, especially when the girls like celebrated and they they knew that they they had won and they grabbed the flag and they were like screaming jumping upside down like they worked so hard it was the cutest thing it was really cute we are going to recap yesterday's day of olympics spoiler alert yesterday

recording session night airing right now for people who didn't watch it live yeah i know like that i've watched too much olympics because i wake up super early and i start watching and then by the time i watched the whole day and by the time we're like sitting down for dinner they are now playing in prime time the things that i watched live at like seven in the morning and then i'm like okay i've officially watched the whole cycle i need to turn this off yeah and then we podcast watching live is so much better i just i can't stress that enough yeah the last few nights we've been podcasting at night but maybe like oh tomorrow night no no jay i said watching like i'm talking about the olympics no i know but then what would you watch at night Sorry, I skipped like ahead in my thoughts.

It's like, because you've watched the Olympics during the day, you don't need to watch the Olympics at night.

So what would you watch at night?

I'm saying we've been podcasting.

That's why we haven't been open to evening content.

I've been watching a lot of Mindy Project.

That's like my new comfort show of choice.

It's so much better than Friends.

Like it's seriously.

Have you been watching Mindy Project here?

Yeah, like every night before bed.

I fall asleep to it.

It's so fucking good.

That's really crazy.

I didn't know that.

Like I think that if I know you were watching TV, if I were to ever properly like be able to write a successful sitcom, like it would be the Mindy.

Like I feel I feel represented in the Mindy Project.

It is the best show on television.

She is seriously so funny.

She's so us.

She's such a squirrely.

It's the best show on TV.

Like, I stand by that.

I mean, I agree.

That's why I was doing ads for it.

That's just like a fun fact about you.

Jackie was paid by Hulu to promote like a million years ago.

They're kind of ahead of their time in influencer marketing.

And he did like a super cute ad for them.

And everyone should go watch Mindy Project.

I stand by it.

Hashtag ad.

Hashtag ad.

Hashtag Hulu partner.

Hashtag, yeah.

Hashtag go watch Mindy Project.

Yeah.

Like, I'm still singing that tune.

Oh, we've been podcasting all night.

We're going going to talk about the Olympics.

We watch the Olympics all day.

Yeah.

Big day.

I know, I know a lot went on, but really the swirlies were swirling.

They were twirling and swirling.

Yeah.

So that will be our first story, Olympics recap.

And I guess we could get into it.

We also have Deer Toasters, which we're so in our Deer Toasters group.

We actually recorded a full Deer Toasters episode for our patrons.

If you're like a DT big fan, check that out.

It was hilarious.

People, when they write in for Patreon, I think they feel a little bit more comfortable sharing.

They're not like worried someone's going to figure out that it's them.

It's safe behind a paywall.

We had really good submissions.

So if that's your favorite part of the show, there are a number of episodes like that over the years.

You should check them out.

You should.

Now, without further ado, it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Our first story, major news out of the Olympics, Simone Biles and the Swirlies captured gold in the team gymnastics women's competition.

Oh my God.

I mean, there was really never a doubt.

There were like whispers that Brazil was like a little bit on their ass, but Brazil was like really favored to win silver, and lo and behold, they won bronze.

Italy won a medal in gymnastics for the first time in 92 years.

Huge for the community.

Huge for the Italians.

Very excited about it.

So happy for them.

Like, don't care.

Who is slated to win third?

Like, who was the third?

I guess Great Britain was fourth.

There were a couple.

Great Britain, Canada.

Yeah.

And China has a very, very good.

gymnastics team.

And they had some like major mistakes, like kind of, you know, competition ending mistakes, like falling off the beam,

falling falling off the uneven bars it was really sad to watch um and you can't but like just feel so bad for people especially i was watching this totally random um ping pong with table tennis excuse me finals between north korea and china and north korea lost and like i actually felt so bad for them like these people know no joy um just like seriously the chinese people should have let them win and i don't think i don't think it's gonna be good for them when they go back to their country i don't know like how seriously they take

and takes the olympics no i know

and if he was expecting victory, it was a gold medal match, too.

So I do think they placed, they won silver, but like, and also, what is this thing?

Can somebody explain to me?

Like, we're changing all the acronyms.

Like, I can't keep up.

Like, okay, so you would think for

South Africa, right?

Yeah, it's when they're playing

RSA.

When they're playing against someone, it's like RSA versus USA.

I'm like, what the hell is RSA?

It took me, like, I was like trying to think, and I couldn't recognize the flag.

Republic of South Africa.

With North Korea, I thought it would be NK.

No, P-R-K, People's Republic of Korea.

It's so confusing.

I mean, that's what it is.

No, I know, but like,

people might.

Okay, here's the exact explanation.

I know, USA.

People would call America America, and then they're like, what's USA?

No, even like Great Britain, excuse me, it's the UK.

What is it there?

Great Britain.

Great Britain.

GB.

It's also like England.

Jib?

It's GB, yeah.

I got targeted for a piece of information on Facebook.

You've been targeted?

On Facebook, in my algorithm, I get information every four posts.

It's some ads, but mostly just like interesting information that they think I would find interesting.

And what did you find interesting?

And it was this map of the UK

that I literally screenshotted because it's literally what we've been needing in our life.

And it explains the islands and which parts Great Britain, which parts United Kingdom, what Scotland and Wales are and Ireland.

And like Northern Ireland is a part of the UK.

So I just will have this map on my phone for the next time we need to talk about things there.

Okay.

And this might be a dumb question, but so in

the Olympics, yeah, like Ireland.

Does Ireland have their own?

Yes.

Yes, they had a boat.

But Scotland doesn't because they're a part of Great Britain.

Then they're in GB.

They're really crazy.

And they're in GB.

To me, Scotland just gives like they have their own identity, like they're their own thing, but they're

proud people.

Did I say that they weren't?

But I also think they're team players.

Damn, that is helpful.

Thank you.

Do you want me to send this?

Kind of.

Like, I need to favorite it in my, just add it to my favorite album.

Share a Facebook so maybe maybe you'll see it one day.

Perhaps, perhaps.

Well, back to the girlies from America.

It was so fabulous to watch.

It's really interesting how they all have such unique personalities.

And a lot of them have, this is not their first Olympics together, actually.

Simone.

Simone Biles tweeted that

the name for this team is the Golden Girls because they won gold, but also they're the oldest.

Simone Biles is currently the oldest Olympic female Olympian.

for gymnastics since for like the last 50 years.

They're all veterans except for

that new girl who is so cute.

And so they have this really great connection with one another.

I feel like they're so like, if I ever found out that they hated each other, like I wouldn't be okay.

I don't think that they do.

Me neither.

Me neither.

There's no room for that in what they're trying to do.

Like there's no room for that energy.

Like they have to focus.

They have to lift each other up.

These are like cheery people.

And I think it's all good.

But Simone did say that the name for their team this year, they had a hard time finding a name.

She said their name is fuck around and find out oh my god well she just tweeted that the name is Golden Girls well maybe it's in response to she got asked in an interview and apparently they were on the Today show and they still didn't have a name and people were giving suggestions in the past it's been fierce five or

fighting four I think that's when Simone didn't compete I think I remember the fab five that was like my Olympics I feel yeah that ally raiseman year London Gabby Douglas yeah McKay McKilla Maroney yeah that was a good year what was it the scour Sounds like we're like talking about wine.

It was a good year.

No, I feel like everyone like remembers the most prominent Olympics in my life and just in the way that I, my age.

But I also remember growing up like the Nastiliukin Sean Johnson year.

I feel like I was young for that.

Like I watched it and I appreciated it, but I didn't feel like a present force, yeah.

Formed person.

Well, I loved, and I, I, one of my favorite parts was learning so much about the girlie's background.

I feel like I know a lot about Simone now, especially like her family, because of her documentary.

Her husband was in the audience and he was wearing a shirt.

I don't feel like it was like a direct response, but like, like I said, this man can't do anything without the comments being like, Mrs.

Jonathan Ellens.

He wore a shirt that said biles and like it had pictures of her.

Like I said, I am over it.

He would be wearing that shirt no matter what he said in the past.

I am over it.

I actually love him.

He was writing down everyone's score.

He was being so cute.

He had a sharpie.

He had to do his own math.

And he had this like rogue piece of paper.

It was like a piece of mail he probably like pulled out of his suitcase.

And he was literally, because you don't think about it, we have all the information at home because the

announcers are helping us.

And it's actually very confusing in gymnastics how the scoring works.

No, and he was literally doing math, sitting with her parents.

I'm sorry, I like him.

I like him too.

From what I've seen and heard, I really like him.

I just need to give one demerit to Peacock because they never told us Simone's final score for her floor routine.

Like, we're sitting there with our dick in our hands, being like, it seems as though they've won because they're really happy.

But what did Simone get?

Totally.

Especially after everything, Simone's whole story.

It's like, it's not just about the team winning gold.

It's also about Simone's comeback.

Like, she hit the floor.

What did she get?

Yeah.

Did she hit it?

Did she stick it?

Some other sort of like chill worthy moments was Jordan Childs fell off the beam during her routine, which was,

I can't, like, I was probably,

you can probably attest to this, like one of the most annoying people to watch with the beam.

I have a physical reaction to the beam.

It's so scary and it's so stupid.

It's like my least favorite thing to watch.

I don't find it interesting.

I have such anxiety for the girls.

It defies math.

It defies physics.

I hate the balance beam.

She fell off, but but then she ended up like doing such a fabulous routine.

Sunili also had like a bit of a

kind of critical mistake in her uneven bars, which she's known for.

That's like her skill.

Then she ended up doing the girls, just they were like, they couldn't be stopped.

And I think even them, and they had like some big mistakes, like I said, her falling off and the other, but their skills were so far ahead the other teams that they were able to kind of afford those kinds of mistakes.

Which for

some of the other teams, like it put them out.

Right.

It put them out.

Those girls girls make me so proud.

I just love them.

And then I

was learning a lot about Jordan Child's.

I kind of love her.

I think she's the one on the team with the most attitude.

Like, she's always dancing and cheering and most personality.

And she's named after Michael Jordan.

It's like her parents knew she was going to do great things.

I love that little fun fact.

They've said it.

45 times on the broadcast.

Like, it's their favorite thing to share every time they show her on the screen.

And she is the daughter of not one, but two pastors.

She's from Washington.

She's an interesting girl.

Do you see

the state?

Vancouver, Washington.

Very confusing.

Not Canada.

Not Canada.

Suni is my girl.

Like, I literally love her.

I love that they kept coming to her sisters.

They're so swirly.

They were so excited to be there.

My personal favorite part of the entire affair, and this is something everyone's talking about.

I had sent it to you as a story.

Yeah.

Is this moment where the girls realize they've won.

They see Simone's score.

It was the number they were waiting for.

They jump, jump, jump.

And their first inclination, Suny and Simone, like look at each other and they very quickly are like, all right.

And they're start, they start plotting the tick tocks they're gonna record yeah soon as soon as they say okay let's do the one where um they said what would you do if you didn't win i guess we'll never know simone was overheard telling her teammates that she wanted to do the chomping on the gold medals as she moved her hands to mimic putting the medal in her mouth and then soon he said okay and i want to do the one that says imagine what we would do if we didn't win that's literally me and you at giznow That's literally me every morning.

I wake up on this earth and torture everyone.

But yes, it's us at Giznow.

That is so relatable.

And then it really brings it back into perspective because they really are these world class athletes.

But at the end of the day, they're just girls.

They're just young.

And they're so young.

Yeah.

It was so funny.

I loved that moment and I loved that we could hear them.

I didn't know we would be able to hear.

I thought we'd have to read their mouths, but I heard it.

I was cackling.

Yeah, but they got the talks.

Oh, the talks.

Sure, they're going viral.

Of course.

They came up for Ama FYP because I follow all the girlies.

They, Suni.

Suni like made a decision, I think in Tokyo 2020, that she was going to continue to do gymnastics, but like she was going to take social media really seriously, which I think was really smart because, you know, your career as a gymnast is over.

I mean, someone's considered old and she's 27.

Like you don't have the longest.

And she's really setting herself up.

She has so many followers.

She's worked, she worked so hard on her social media.

Like I, I think it's probably one of the smartest things she's done.

It reminds me a lot of Sean Johnson.

And also Nastia.

They both like really went to influence into influencing and they have.

Huge careers.

Yeah.

And they each, I think, make a lot of money from it.

So I thought that was really smart.

Yeah.

No, and they're like thinking about the future.

Like they won gold and the first thing they're thinking of is their social media careers.

And they're also like just young girls and that's what you do.

Yeah.

And Simone posted something.

So

she posted a couple of stories.

She's like, I don't want to hear or see anybody talking about my hair.

I guess the other day she got dragged for like having her hair in a messy bun, which like whatever.

And she was like, I don't want to hear about it when it comes to my hair because she took a video of herself on the bus on the way to the competition.

She's like, I had a snatched pony.

Her hair looked so good.

She was like, they put us on this bus for 45 minutes with no air conditioning, and now my hair looks like the way it is.

So, don't I don't want to hear about it.

Them putting this world-class athlete.

I wanted to know, I was thinking, who's in charge of transportation?

Is it team USA?

Is it Paris Olympics?

Who the fuck is putting these girls?

The Paris organizing committee, and maybe it's just like Europe not having air conditioning-that's like their thing.

Unacceptable.

It's the middle of summer.

These are world-cat-class athletes.

A 45-minute bus ride on the way to an important competition, a medal.

It wasn't even qualifying.

It was a final.

And they don't have air conditioning.

That's wrong.

They're so wrong for that.

But all is that to say, those girlies are doing the most like when it comes to social media.

And I was also thinking when I was watching, because they all, especially Suni, she had really gorgeous makeup.

And gymnastics is one of those sports where I don't think it's required.

And it's interesting how the makeup trends in like different countries are because I feel like I was just noticing like the girl, American girls are so TikTok, like glowy Charlotte Tilbury skin.

Like I thought the girls from China was so interesting.

Not a lot of skin makeup, but a lot of eye makeup.

Whatever.

It just made me think of like, their days are so long.

You know, not only do they have to compete in these hours long, but they're doing their hair and makeup, like full glam.

I don't think they bring glam teams with them.

They're doing it themselves.

Miserable.

Yeah, but hopefully they're wearing something, you know, lightweight, wearable, flexible, can move with them.

You know, a makeup company should get on that.

Fenty Beauty is the sponsor of the Olympics.

Yeah.

I bet they all got gift bags for you.

I think that's a fun part of it.

You know, just like doing the TikToks, like I think they're girly swirlies.

And by the way, they don't have to wear makeup and they don't have to go to the nines.

So if they don't like that part, they don't have to do it.

I'm sure we can look back at Olympians from the last 20 years who, like, didn't do the most.

But I would imagine, like, you're on TV, too.

Like, it's very exciting.

And a lot of girls these days, and I feel like more so these days than even when we were their age, like, everyone does their makeup and everybody knows how to do it.

And it's just really fun.

Yeah.

What age are kids starting to wear makeup these days?

Well, it's earlier now, and they're wearing more now.

And some of it is in a like a, oh, bad, you know, this is bad way, but some of it is like, it seems like a fun, creative outlet.

I don't think so.

I don't take so much issue with it.

Me neither.

It just depends.

They could be doing, you know, math.

Yeah.

It's like painting.

It's like painting.

When did you start wearing makeup?

I have vivid memories.

Yeah, of seventh grade.

Like, I used to get in so much trouble every time I would put black eyeliner like on my bottom waterline.

That was like my thing.

I loved it so much.

And I remember like, I really used to do it at camp because I couldn't get in trouble.

And then on visiting day, I had to like wipe all the eyeliner from my eyes.

But I remember also high school, like putting on like a tinted moisturizer and like doing makeup.

No, I started in middle school like with mascara and then I started doing bronzer and I just like built my way up.

But I feel like I have no qualms about when I started.

I didn't feel, I don't feel like I was too young.

Yeah.

When I see like really young girls on social media doing get ready with me, they're literally like in middle school.

Okay, that like it's better.

It's there are other worse things you could be doing.

There are and actually I weirdly feel like not even the trend so much with with younger girls in middle school now is makeup more than it is skincare.

Yeah.

Like the whole drunk elephant thing.

I, I mean, it's never a bad time to start taking care of your skin.

It's just like kind of stupid and a waste of money, but I do feel like when you're so young and your skin is like pretty normal, you're like clogging your pores.

Right.

But have fun.

Yeah.

Have fun.

Yeah.

I loved today at the Olympics.

Like seriously, such a glorious day.

And then just part B, another major Olympics news story is that Coco Goff is out at the Olympics.

She was a shock.

Cry during an emotional argument with the chair umpire amid her eliminating loss to Donna Vecchik at the Paris Olympics.

Oh, my God.

Amid soaring temperatures in Paris, tennis star Coco Goff felt the heat both on and off the court when she was moved to tears during an emotional argument with the chair umpire before an Olympics ousting loss to Donna Vecchik.

She was eliminated from the women's singles competition at Stade Roland Garrows on Tuesday after losing to the Croatian.

This was shocking.

And honestly, what's so interesting to me about the whole thing is like Coco Goff in America, And honestly, I mean, it's a global sport, like of all the competitions.

And in the tennis world, she's really highly respected.

And I don't think she had to go to the Olympics.

I think she wanted to.

Like we were saying earlier in the week, she opted to stay at the Olympic Village.

I think she like really loves the Olympics and she was the flag bearer.

And I think she took that job really seriously.

So I'm really sad for her because I think she like really wanted, everyone wants to win, but she was like taking it oddly so seriously.

It's not even about winning, but it's like you're also out of the game.

You have to participate.

She can still win in doubles and mixed doubles.

She's playing both.

So there's still more tennis for her.

She's still part of the Olympics.

But like the big one, her big solo.

But yeah, and she is like the greatest tennis player in the world.

It definitely feels a little premature.

What round is this even?

I mean, it's day three of the Olympics.

It's not that great.

It's not that far.

I do think the person that she played was also really highly ranked.

So it just one of them had to get out.

Just like who played?

Jokovich and Adal.

And Adal.

Like, it's like, oh my God, they're already playing.

That feels like finals energy.

Kukugov is also so young, and it's like the beginning of her career.

I do feel she'll have an Olympic medal at some point, but I've really enjoyed like watching.

She's just someone who's like really joyful and she's like fun to see the Olympics through her eyes.

And, you know, she's still competing and she's still there.

But like, this was like surprising.

Yeah.

She's playing doubles and mixed doubles.

She's playing with Taylor Fritz for mixed doubles.

Yes, I knew that.

I love him.

He's so cute.

Yeah.

And he's the one who's dating the other one.

The Marx.

That whole saga is confusing because those two girls are twins.

Right.

And I think they have beef.

Yeah, clearly.

If you guys don't know what we're talking about, like the influencer, there are two influencers who look exactly, like, seriously, exactly alike.

And their Instagrams are so similar too because they're both.

Their content is so similar.

They're both dating professional tennis players who are like number seven in the country and they keep switching.

Like they're the exact same level of tennis.

It's Paige Lorenz, who I feel like everybody knows from like Army Hammer and Morgan Wallen and Morgue's.

What is her name?

Morgan.

Morgan.

She's so cute.

Like the girlies are so cute.

Loving the content.

Is Paige's boyfriend playing at the Olympics?

I don't see why he wouldn't be.

And also, the boyfriend's names are so similar.

Taylor and...

Tommy.

Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Tommy just won that big competition.

With the neck.

With the claw.

It wasn't a big competition.

It was like a big swim meet or whatever.

Meet.

And that's a competition.

Yeah, what are those things called?

Open.

An open.

Grand Slam.

Yeah.

One of those.

It was, which one?

I think it was maybe the Australian Open.

It was like a big one.

Yeah.

And that's where that whole Paige Lorenz claw neck thing went violently.

Oh my God.

That was so crazy.

And we talked about this at Gizno.

We never talked about it.

We never talked about it on the toast.

When we were talking about what we were going to talk about at Gizno, and I was, I put up a claw.

It was like, there's like the influencer drama.

And I was like, giving you a sign.

I put up a claw.

And you were like, oh, I know.

And then everyone in the comments was like, oh my God, you're talking about Paige Lorenz Claw.

No, I wasn't.

What I was talking about when I did claw, I meant the Panthers Stanley Finals game because Caitlin Bristow was there and so was Jason Tartick and they were both like

I don't even know what we're talking about.

I do feel the need to clear it up right now because we only cleared it up at Gizno.

And no, when I saw that picture of Paige Lorenz and Tommy,

iconic Americana.

I wasn't looking at anything other than their stunning beauty.

I didn't notice for one second that her hand looked weird.

When that video went viral of like them posing for the photo, Paige got like a lot of backlash for like having her claw around her man and like being crazy.

For me, I was like, oh, I didn't realize girls like Paige Lorenz

worried as much as I do about how I look in a photo, you know?

I move my neck, my arm.

I'm so crazy.

If you actually ever saw a photo, I mean, a video of me taking a photo, you would think I was crazy.

Like I'm so, and I just saw someone who looked as perfect as she does, like, doesn't have those problems, but she does.

Like, she's just like us.

To me, I thought that the video actually brought me great peace.

Yeah.

Also, I just saw an interesting article that Taylor Fritz is set to play three matches in one day at the Olympics on Wednesday.

So today/slash tomorrow.

That's really crazy.

Because he got like a horrible schedule.

He's really cute.

Yeah.

And then

he will be partners with Tommy in men's doubles.

No, no, no, I'm telling you, their girlfriends hate each other.

I don't really know the TM.

I'm not speaking like I have any like

gossip if there's something going on.

If they didn't, they would be best friends.

And the fact that they're not best friends means that they don't like each other because they have everything in common.

They are the same person.

I think that they both think that the other one copies the other.

I could see Paige being like, that girl copies me.

I can see Morgan being like, that copies me.

I really feel like it's like, what came first, the chicken or the egg.

You could argue both sides.

I don't know, even though I don't know the answer to the question.

At the end of the day, I'm so happy to have these two women to follow.

Like, I don't need more than that.

No, and the content is so premium.

Correct.

Yeah.

I haven't seen the Olympic stuff though yet.

I got to keep my eye out.

I can't believe they were playing devils together.

Did you know that?

No, I didn't.

That's really crazy.

No, it's really crazy.

And I think this is like a corner of the internet people are obsessed with.

I like the tennis wags.

No, and tennis wags in general are having many a moment because through this content, I've seen some other tennis wags online.

And what a fabulous circle of women.

They run in a fabulous circle of women.

Not only do they dress so well and they are beautiful girls, but like they have a really great creative eye.

They have really great style.

Like the photos that they capture of themselves.

Stone in.

Magazine quality.

Anna Wintour.

Take note.

Literally.

Right?

No, I don't.

What is in the water?

I don't know.

They're turning out like magazine-level content.

They are.

Yeah.

And I just want to say thank you

to the tennis wags.

Correct.

So that's your Olympics recap for

today slash yesterday slash tomorrow.

Slash asterisk.

Are you ready for our next story?

Because it's major podcasting news, sports news, and sibling news.

And no, it's not about us.

Disgustingly.

But we'll find a way to make it about us.

Of course we will.

Because Travis and Jason Kelsey are seeking a massive payday for their podcast.

TMZ is reporting that according to the Wall Street Journal, the Kelsey brothers have been in contact with Wondery, whose parent company is Amazon, about locking up a $100 million agreement for their weekly show.

It's unclear what the length of the pack would be or how many episodes it would entail, but it seems that the brothers have a decent shot of getting near or

their actual reported demands.

I, call me crazy, feel like $100 million is not a big enough deal.

Because when you think about the big deals in the podcasting that we're always reporting on, like Smartlist just did 100 million,

Call Her Daddy, 60 million Joe Rogan's was like under

wraps.

Like we didn't know.

We don't know the full, like we know there was 100 million, maybe for like one day, and then there was many more millions.

I think at this point, Spotify has paid Joe Rogan.

My guess is $300 million.

Like that's what I really think.

And I think that their podcast is massive.

I think that they have a kind of a formula that nobody else has.

What they have is people, they don't have guests on their show.

People tune in for them and people are increasingly tuning in more and more.

And it's really consistent.

It's not like when they talk about Taylor, they get so many.

And then when they don't, nobody listens.

People listen regardless of whether they're having a big London Wembley Stadium woman or not.

I think that the show is massive.

I think it's only going to get bigger.

Jason's retiring.

I think they're going to like dealt the, like, invest more in it and more of his time.

I think they can easily get $100 million.

I actually think they could get more, even though they are one of the only shows.

They're weekly.

Yeah.

Smartless is what?

Like three times.

Yeah, they do a lot of episodes.

Joe Rogan does more episodes.

Yeah, he does like three to five every week.

At most.

So them doing really, they really only do one episode a week, which I feel like is how podcasts got started, but nobody does just one anymore.

I feel like putting them on the same level of Smartless right now kills me to say, but I feel like that.

seems right.

That feels right.

A hundred million dollar deal for probably like three years, that feels right based on what we can see and what we know.

And I love it, by the way.

Love to see siblings out here getting massive deals.

I think the show is great.

I think it's like a family-friendly, fun football fame.

Like, it's, it's, I think a lot of like young people watch it and I think it's great.

Like they're just, I think they're good role models.

Yeah.

I, Jason Kelsey's cracking me up.

He was see, he was, him and Kelsey went to see Simone.

Kylie.

Kelsey, I'm cracking up.

Him and Kylie went to see Simone Biles in Paris.

Like, I just think they're good American folk, you know?

Yeah, no, and I think one of the most,

what's the word?

Valuable.

Valuable, yes.

Thank you.

I don't even know what you're going to say.

One of the most valuable things about the show is that, like, they won't have to worry about getting to a point where it's like, what are we going to talk about?

Because it just regenerates itself.

Like, you said, they don't have guests and they talk about sports, which happens every single day.

And their brother, like, I think it's really a good formula.

They're not just like peeking and it's like, where do they go from here?

Even if him and Taylor broke up, God forbid, you know, whatever.

That wouldn't change the show.

Totally agree.

And I think there are so many shows out there when you look at like the,

even all the shows we just named, Joe Rogan's, Marlus, they're all interview-based show, and that boast-based shows, excuse me.

And that's great.

And they haven't run into an issue, and I don't think that they will.

But not everyone.

I'm literally like Joe Rogan's been podcasting for 15 years.

I think he's

all set.

And that's great.

Not everyone can be the best interviewer.

Not everybody can have the best guest.

So you're almost in like a little bit of a rat race.

And when you're Jason and Travis, you're kind of coming into this, like,

we don't have that problem.

Everybody tunes in every week just for us.

Yeah, but I also think with interview-based shows, like the way to make it so that it doesn't, the guests doesn't matter as much.

It's like when people are really still tuning in for you.

Well, that's the thing.

I think like Smartless gets the same amount of downloads every week.

I think people just love those guys,

which they've been doing for a really long time.

Like they've earned that.

And I think they're really good at what they do.

Same for Joe Rogan, because like the guests that he has that are hit number one, I'm like, like, I've never heard of that person.

And

they're very obscure people.

Oh, my God.

Wait.

Speaking of guest interviews, the funniest thing happened today that is so BSC coded.

We have to talk about it.

Well, actually, the code was BSC.

So somebody DM'd me and was like, I'm like, feel like I'm in an

alternate universe.

And they sent me the screen recording.

And I went to go do it on my own phone.

And the same exact thing happened.

Amanda Hirsch, Nutscape Mead off that, had Ryan Reynolds on her podcast.

Like huge for her.

You go to listen to the episode this morning.

Literally,

a press play.

It's the good guys.

Literally, an episode of Good Guys started playing.

I don't know how, and I'm sure it was like some sort of backhand issue.

I haven't heard anything about it.

I didn't even talk to Ben about it.

I meant to ask him.

I haven't, I heard nothing.

And then later in the day, like they fixed it, obviously.

But other people had the issue and I did too.

Oh my God, like that would happen to Ben.

Like this huge moment for Amanda.

Right.

And it's Good Guy's promo.

Yeah.

That's so good guys coded.

That's so funny.

A little dear media wire crossing.

Hysterical.

I meant to ask Ben if like everybody was blowing up his DMs.

I'm sure if it reached you.

It did.

Yeah.

Then it reached me.

I was cracking up.

Well, I look forward to hearing the deal points on this one.

Me too, by the way.

I, and I don't know if.

And I think it'll be good for his relationship if he brings home this like really big paycheck.

Totally.

You know?

I don't know if other, like I'm clearly, so I love stories like this, but because it's literally what I do for a living.

I don't know.

Did you guys care as much?

Like these stories, I could talk about them forever.

I think people would say that they care about this because

it goes back to Taylor.

Everyone loves the Kelsey brothers, which is why they deserve this money, as we stated.

I find podcast deals more in the weeds, but I do think when we're talking about the biggest deals like this, that it's people that a lot of people know because that's why they are up for a big deal.

Right.

Like Smartless.

It's also just great to see like new media, you know?

New heights.

Correct.

Yeah, and they're a relatively new show.

So this might be one of the fastest rises in podcast deals.

For sure.

For sure.

No, I think the fastest rise was like that one year that both the Call Her Daddy girls worked on the show.

Yeah, yeah, but in terms of like getting to

the multiple.

They never got to it together.

No, and like from the first episode to the Spotify deal, maybe that was,

actually, we would know.

It's how long was their Marshall contract?

Three years, right?

That was the point.

I don't remember.

I don't know how long they've been doing New Heights.

How long have they been doing New Heights?

I feel like it's been at least two years because they were doing it before

he blew up, not for that long.

Really?

I feel like they might have been doing it for a while, actually.

Well, then that would be really amazing for them.

Like this thing they stuck with.

Yeah.

And worked hard to slowly grow finally came to fruition.

That would be amazing, too.

Yeah, it would be.

September 2022.

Two years.

Fastest rise in power.

That's pretty fast.

Yeah.

Damn.

Good for them.

Good for them.

I like them.

Like, you'd love to see it.

Does anyone not like them?

I think like crazy football fans, like, who hate

taking them out, like, on a personality level, like, they are universally beloved.

Because I think even if one of them, like, might not do it for you, the other one.

So, it's so Jackson Claude coded.

It's so.

And

so who's the Jacks?

Jason.

That's a good question.

I think you're the Travis.

I wouldn't say it's so cut and dry, but if I had to, yes, I would say that too.

But I don't think we're equal matches.

No, no.

We're not like, I'm not like so Travis.

You're not like so Jason.

You're not so Travis.

You're not so Travis.

I think that's what's not as I'm so high school.

You're so Travis.

You love Taylor.

You're literally so Travis.

So drove.

Are you ready for our next story?

What number is it?

Number three.

Yes.

About a little more Jax news.

Taylor?

Jax Taylor is seeking inpatient treatment for mental health struggles amid Britney Cartwright's split.

Jax Taylor has decided to seek inpatient treatment as he struggles with his mental health amid his split from his wife, Brittany Cartwright.

Page six can confirm.

Jax has always been candid about his mental health struggles, especially during the past few months.

On his podcast, he has made the decision to seek inpatient treatment, his rep told, page six.

This is a particularly sensitive time for him and his family.

They ask for privacy and respect until he is ready to speak more on the matter.

Page six, I mean, TMZ was the first to report the news.

After years of attempting to work with mental health professionals, he recently revealed on his podcast that he had found an amazing doctor.

He said, quote, I met a doctor at my bar and she's absolutely amazing.

And I went in and

I literally just broke down.

Yeah, he has a bar now in Studio City.

Yeah, Jackson Studio City.

But I don't know if that's separate from him going to inpatient.

But just to say, the last time he spoke about his mental health update, he had met a therapist at his bar.

Okay.

I feel like every detail that was just shared like is so vague.

So vague.

I don't want to be so naive no no no no because i feel like for a while until i watched the valley i was like oh they'll get back together oh they'll figure it out like they know each other they love each other but like britney really hit a wall with him and like jax is who he is

i don't know how much a person can change and it be lasting change when like this is just who he is in his dna so

I also feel like the valley might be recording and that's why he's taking these drastic steps, just like when he only finally called a counselor, when the cameras picked up after six months right so then he didn't even go right fool me once which like i do feel like i've been i had been fooled we have been jax taylor like apologizing i still will stand by that i think he's like to us he's only really nice like i know that he does what he has to do for the show but just like evaluating their relationship as a viewer we saw something new in the valley that we had never seen before and mostly because brittany was finally like sharing what she goes through.

All this time we thought, oh, she must not be going through much with him.

He must be great to her because she's happy and she doesn't complain right but then when she cracked and you could like see everything beneath the surface it's like oh

that's not what it's been this isn't like how it's been is not what we thought right and that's like not livable for her so

i hope that they can make it work though for the sake of like their family and i think when they are good they're great yeah

and they have a young child right that's the only reason because i actually think like these two

you think like don't need to work it out except for the fact that they have a you know a young child together But I also think that they like do love each other.

Yeah, and like really who

I think it's more so what can Brittany like forgive and it's up to her because for Jax It's like how are you gonna find someone like better for you more devoted to you

an amazing partner better than Britney?

Like you're really not going to a show that does not exist.

No, it's so true.

I'm wishing him well.

I don't fully understand where he's going and for what.

But maybe, you know, I'll find out when I tune into season two of The Valley.

Like, I don't know if this is in earnest.

Yeah, right.

So, with Jax, like it very rarely is, but somebody who's like going to get help, like, I'm not going to be like in the middle of that.

But at a certain point, like, it could be in earnest.

So I'll hold space for that.

But like I said, like, fool me once, fool me twice,

three times.

Like, I'll see.

We'll see.

Yeah.

That's really my take here.

We will see.

C V D to be De Chairman.

Are you ready for our next story?

Reese Witherspoon, Spidoon.

Spadoon, has a new man.

Oh, my God, what?

Reese Witherspoon sparks dating rumors with financier Oliver Harman.

Oh my God, Queen.

She headed to dinner with her new man one year after her divorce from her second husband, Jim Toth.

So Rhys Witherspoon appears to have a new man in her life as she was spotted with private equity financier Oliver Harman in your

life.

And I'm saying it weird because look at how it's spelled: H-A-A-R Har.

M-A-N-N.

Harmon.

You got it.

Got it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

One year after her divorce.

Oh my God, I never thought so much as like Reese Witherspoon as a single swirly, you know?

Like, I knew deep down that she was not married anymore, but I didn't think of her as like an eligible bachelorette on the market.

I don't know why.

No, she's so eligible.

And let me tell you something about that Reese Witherspoon.

She's no dummy.

She is always going for the sensible choice.

Like I always loved, even though it didn't work out, they had a long marriage, her and Jim Toth, and he's an agent, so he works in the industry, but he's not thirsty.

He can relate to her, but they're not competing within one another.

I thought it was a good move, you know, that's very Lady Gaga coded to go with the agent.

Now she's dating not even a businessman, a financier.

Like, I think this woman is smart.

I think she's smart.

Yeah.

So he had they've been out on a string of dates.

His ex-wife is a businesswoman named Mala Gonkar, and she's literally like the most gorgeous woman, but she's in a relationship now with David Byrne.

Sure.

I'm just googling all these people, like to see if I recognize them.

But like Mala's like a business, she went to like Harvard, Harvard, and Harvard.

Oh, Harvard.

Harvard College, Harvard Business School, and Harvard University.

Like, it's hard.

Classic.

Interesting.

No, this is a great circle for Reese to run in.

I think, you know, we forget, and it's because she's so relatable.

She is a billionaire.

She is, of course,

a businesswoman herself.

She's a Hollywood actress, yada, yada.

She has a billion-dollar business.

She's not, you know, your run-of-the-mill Hollywood actress.

So I think she moves in shakes and circles that some of us could only dream of.

And I think that's how she met this guy.

Probably.

And I love this.

I really do.

Yeah.

I can't imagine her dating.

I can't explain why.

Like, she's so cute and like silly and funny.

But I could also really see her dating because she's just like

a swirly.

She is swirly energy for sure.

I love this for her.

I'm so happy.

Yeah.

So wishing them well, not going to get like too involved.

I was off in it, but I hope to hear nothing for for a while.

When you were saying his name, I was like, no way is she dating Len Delisepp's ex-husband.

I mean, ex-boyfriend/slash Mary Kate Olson's ex-husband.

This is so much better than that.

This is so much better than that.

But this is a,

is he cute?

So, I only got a picture of him from the back.

I guess I could Google him.

What's his name?

Because I've Googled everyone else in this story.

Oliver Harmon.

Oh, right.

Ha-Armana.

Ha-Arman.

I would also love to know.

And what exactly does he say?

Oh, he's cute.

He's German.

But they said, did not they say English?

Maybe I made that up.

I'm like having a hard time following, finding this guy on social media.

Oh, I'm just on Google.

He's definitely not on social media.

Well,

green flag, not on social media.

Like, that's the type of guy you should be dating.

So he is a German private equity financier and a founding partner of Searchlight Capital Partners.

Obsessed.

What's that?

We love a founding partner.

Yeah.

Of something.

Of something.

Oh, they have $15 billion in assets under management.

Sounds legit.

Maybe one of those assets is Hello Sunshine and that's how they met.

I don't like that for her.

That's a toxic dynamic.

Yeah, no, it's so true.

It's like a power imbalance.

Yeah, when she's a powerful woman.

Like, why do we have to take her power away?

Oh, my God.

Not me taking her power away.

I'm so sorry.

You're so right.

I apologize to the power swirlies.

to the

power swirlies.

It needed to be said.

No, it's so true.

Like,

I'm so toxic in my, like, I think everything's a smart book.

Like, yes, she's your boss.

For sure.

And usually I'm, like, with you when it goes to like a

dynamic, like classic dynamic.

But, like, she's the businesswoman here.

Let's not forget.

Right.

Right.

She's just not your typical Hollywood swirly.

No.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

If it's the fifth and final story that's brought to you by Haya.

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Thanks, the turd.

You're welcome.

Our fifth and final story is a little throwback fun because Jennifer.

Throwback Thursday, if you will.

Throwback Wednesday on a Tuesday night.

Jennifer Stone from Wizards of Waverly Place is kind of spilling the tea.

Okay.

Is that Harper?

Was that her name?

That's the friend.

You know, she does the podcast, the rewatch show.

Nowhere.

And they must have gotten to this episode that was the crossover between Hannah Montana, Sweet Life on Deck.

Oh, so it's a rewatch show.

Yeah, and Wizards of Waverly Place.

Okay.

So she is talking about Miley and Selena's dynamic on set and the fact that they actually couldn't film a scene together because of the drama.

So Miley and Selena only, okay, we're going to recap this, but it's really important to like take stories like this with a grain of salt because there is a certain like generation of post-child actors whose full-time job is making content about the show they got famous on, and it's all over social media.

Famously, Chelsea from That's So Raven.

And these people become like genuinely insufferable, and they'll do anything for attention.

So just keep that in mind.

Although, I do, I feel like Harper's genuine.

Harper has reached that level.

I think she's just commenting on the episode again, and she's like inadvertently giving us tea that some of us have been waiting for for 15 years.

That's the way you should feel your whole lot.

So, Miley and Selena only, quote, got along intermittently, says Jennifer Harper, during their Disney Channel days due to drama over their mutual ex, according to fellow former child star Jennifer Stone.

Wizards of Waverly Place alignment.

Jennifer Stone explained on Monday why the actresses did not have scenes together in the show's 2009 crossover.

I need to go back and watch the episode to see like what they never filmed together.

Yeah, Sweet Life on Deck with Hannah Montana.

She said, quote, it was like high school.

Like they both dated Nick.

I think Miley dated him first, and then Selena dated him.

And then it was just messy high school nonsense.

She went on to clarify that that they're fine now, they're all good, but yeah, it was high school BS.

I mean, I guess like you have to think about the fact that these girls were actually 14.

And if you ran into in the hallways, like a girl who dated your boyfriend, you would have like, it wasn't probably that they were ignoring each other.

They probably like,

you're so immature at that age.

Like you probably don't even know what to say.

You're just like ignoring them.

And then add on top of that the dynamics of like them being at the helm of their own Disney show, being in competition by the world and by the network.

And oh, what's Wizards Wizards of Waverly Place doing like this girl is your competition there's no way to like forge a genuine friendship especially when you're so young and immature and insecure yeah yeah and then the Nick Jonas of it all like doesn't help because I think those girlies were like seriously not okay after they dated him nick never did it for me but I do think that like

And maybe it was just those brothers in general.

When you think about like the damage that they did at that age, like how many girls are left in their wake and are never the same?

Demi Lovato.

Tail swift.

Tail swift.

What the hell did those boys do like they weren't okay?

I know, but I think it was I think it's also just when you're a girl at that age like you feel things so deeply

also like we were all in love with

these brothers like They were those boys.

And I think also you can throw Justin Bieber in there.

Yeah, not for us.

And so Selena got hit from both ways, not in the sense of

like teen love hearts.

Double homicide.

and because she really with like the bittest heartthrobs of that time you're right like it was the justin timber like excuse me justin bieber and nick jonas and she's the only one who dated both of them and seriously pray for her because

something you're right like something about

that generation of girls who everyone who they dated at that time like seriously they're still talking about it yeah like those girls went on to have many loves kids they are still talking about the time they dated like what the the hell was up with the Jonas Brothers back then?

No, but it's also nice to know and reassuring to know that, like, they were those guys.

Like, we weren't just idolizing

lame sauce.

Yeah, no, they were those guys.

They were the whatever.

Who are those current guys in this very moment?

Probably like Josh Richards.

Oh my God, like TikTokers?

I think you're right.

Yeah.

Right?

Who are you going to say?

Or like

Chase Stokes or

yeah.

But they're a little older at this point, but like like super

no, it's not even the TikTokers.

The TikTokers are like in their 20s.

When we were seriously like

crying

ourselves to sleep, they were like 15, 16.

Who, I guess I'm not a freak, so I don't know who's going to be able to do it.

But even what is the content that they're watching?

Like, is there a big Disney channel show?

Oh, that's a good question.

Not really.

I don't know.

I don't keep up.

No, but I feel like if it's big enough, like I feel like 30-year-olds knew about Hannah Montana.

I don't know if they did, honestly.

Really?

I feel like you couldn't do anything.

You can't watch the Macy's Day parade.

You can't go to Walmart.

Like, everything is whatever's the zeitgeist.

And I really don't know what that is right now.

I think maybe people who were 30 years old when Hannah Montana came on were like familiar with it because Billy Ray was also on it.

And he was, you know, he brought in an older audience and people knew who he was.

Okay, but 30-year-olds also knew the Jonas Brothers.

I don't know.

Like, it's hard to know if like Disney was my universe.

I feel like

the universe.

People are siloed now.

Like, some people like Bryce Hall.

Some people, Josh Richards, some people like, you know, Noah Beck.

Ross Lynch.

People do like Ross Lynch.

That's true.

That is very true.

I can't believe you know who Ross Lynch is.

I do know who he is.

Wow.

He's from Austin and Alley.

Yeah, that's why.

And he.

But what does he do?

He's like in the Macy State parade.

He's not.

He's such Macy's.

He is one of like eight siblings.

They're all really musical and they're all in different bands.

Some of them play together in a band.

Sea Beach movie, so good.

Classic.

Classic.

And he's now, he tours.

He's a musician.

He's, you know, he's a very small but cult following.

I'm looking at like related

Noah Centennio.

Noah Centennio was a Jonas brother of his time.

Of his minute.

He only had one minute.

That's the thing, because media works differently now, nobody's going to have what the Jonas brothers had.

And if they do have it, they'll have it for 35 seconds.

A la Centennio.

Is there a crazy big show that kids are watching?

Like Euphoria.

Jacob Alorney is one of them.

Yeah.

But he's still like kind of old.

And like low-key, not pervasive, like Jonas Brothers, because he's an actor.

We don't get that much of him.

He's not on tour.

All right.

If you have like a teenage daughter, you guys sound off in the comments.

Like, who are they obsessed with?

Like, who do they have a crush on?

Yeah.

I guess for a while it was One Direction,

Harry Styles.

But that's not too far away from Jonas Brothers, Justin Bieber.

I don't know.

I'm not keeping up with what 12-year-olds are doing because I'm a grown-ass woman.

That's good.

That's helpful.

It is good.

It is good.

Yeah.

Who's touching go there for me for a minute?

Yeah.

Was that the fifth story?

Beach movie.

Yeah, that was the fifth story.

So I just want to say, like, shout out to Jennifer Stone.

Like, feel free to keep them coming.

Yeah, no, I'll give you that one.

I will never like tire of hearing about that period

and the behind-the-scenes drama.

Like that.

Just like hearing yesterday/slash today about Billy Rose, like ruining my childhood.

Yep.

Billy Rose, Billy Ray.

Yeah, I know what you meant with.

Billy Ray and Fire Rose.

Like they've effectively ruined my childhood.

Like this brings me back to life.

I would love a documentary on that period.

Although, and I'm sure it was filled with like highs and lows, but I think the general consensus from everybody who came out of that was like nothing terrible happened.

Yeah.

It was like, I think high stress, toxic, not a normal childhood, not the way an environment for a child.

But not like, you know, committing crimes.

Right.

But that was, to me, like some of the greatest days of my life.

Yeah.

So thanks to everyone who participated, who made that, made it that way for us.

We really appreciate it.

And thanks to everybody who wrote into Deer Toaster.

So our weekly advice segment, every Wednesday, Jackson and I take three submissions from girlies in need, covering a wide range of issues from relationships to, you know, we get a lot of weight stuff.

I think people like see us as like, you know, the girlies they can talk to about weight.

I like that.

Me too.

And if you ever want to write in, you can do it at deartoasters at gmail.com.

That's the email, deartoas at gmail.com, or head over to our website, the toastpodcast.com.

If you scroll down, there's a submission box, totally anonymous.

Same with the email.

We'll never, you know,

expose you in that way.

But let's get into it.

Hello, Jackson Turd.

Longtime listener here.

Thank you both so much for your daily dose of laughter and joy.

Oh.

Recently, I was getting some work done at my

car at my regular body shop.

I come here often for oil changes, regular maintenance.

Do people go to the body shop?

I didn't know you had like a regular spot, but that's cool.

This time, I guess.

I guess I don't have oil.

Oh, yeah.

I drive electric.

How often do you change your oil?

For me, that's not my job.

Like, that's a bench.

How often, like, are you telling your husband to go change the oil?

Well, we do it at the dealership.

And I don't know.

I don't know how often.

Like, it's not, it's really, like, I can't stress how not my problem that is.

So I was at my body shop, yada, yada.

This time, as I was getting ready to pay, I noticed a few of the mechanics were smirking at each other.

I thought it was really odd, but I just assumed that I was looking sickening that day.

I love that that's

you probably were.

Later on, when I got in my car and drove off, I noticed that the smut book I had been listening to on audiobook seemed to have skipped ahead to the next chapter.

I was mortified when I realized that while I was sitting in the waiting room, my phone had automatically connected to my car's Bluetooth and a particular steamy chapter was playing through my speakers for the whole garage to hear.

How do I show my face here again?

Do I have to move to a new mechanic?

Please advise.

Love you dearly.

Okay, that is so funny.

I just don't understand how you could be in such a conundrum where like your, you know, weekly mechanic appointment has to be moved.

Like maybe there's something wrong with your car if you need to go there so often.

For sure.

That.

And also like i i'm having a hard time giving you advice because i i i can't get into the headspace if somebody who's like mechanic knows them i feel like a mechanic is something you do am i crazy like once every 10 years it's like a one-off thing and i feel like it's always when you're on a road trip so you go to like some forlorn place on the side of the road yeah or you go here you go there this time maybe there's a new mechanic maybe you get like a task rabbit mechanic sometime the thing is when it comes to actual tangible advice like who fucking cares the next time you come in hopefully we'll be in like i don't know with you it sounds like a couple of days, but so much happens in people's lives.

Like, they're not going to be thinking about it.

Just wear your hair differently.

Like, boys won't, he won't even remember you.

No, it was like, it was a painful moment.

I don't think it's going to permeate longer than that.

Except like, if you keep going back for more, yeah.

You might try and hold off for the next one so they can really forget.

Not only that, might I suggest, what is that sponsor that does like sexy audiobooks?

They sponsor the Redheads and

Dipsy.

You should get into Dipsy.

Just, I didn't realize like people were also doing audiobooks of smut because I'm, I don't, I don't, because because i don't do audiobooks yeah and i don't know what that experience is like it's basically like audio pornography yeah dipsy check out dipsy that doesn't solve your problem because dipsy still would have played you're just saying i think you would like it yeah no i'm just making suggestions for like ways for you to spend your time but yeah dipsy would have still connected to your bluetooth yeah don't beat yourself up right seriously hysterical

You just gotta ride it out.

No pun intended.

And no pun intended.

And I just want to say you're feeling down.

And let me just lift you up.

The fact that you thought everybody was staring at you because you looked so beautiful, like you are my kind of woman.

I love your energy.

No, and also like maybe one of the mechanics like listened to your smut and was like, oh, she's like DTF.

Maybe they were all hard.

More looking so beautiful.

And maybe next time you're going to, one of them is going to ask you to be his girlfriend.

Yeah.

And like you, you literally like put on something erotic and then they like were acting.

like corny.

Interesting.

Interesting.

Okay.

I think you have five mechanic boyfriends now.

But I do think we should talk about your car.

Like,

even, I know I drive an electric car, so I don't have to get my oil changed, but like, my husband doesn't get his oil change that often.

No, and I understand like cars have issues, but you know much money you're spending at the mechanic, like maybe just like you might be better off saving that money for a new car.

You might be better off marrying a mechanic who could just fix your car, maybe go back.

And I know a mechanic, perfect for you.

I know a group of mechanics who are in toast.

Good luck with that.

All right, next step here.

Thank you for the laugh.

Dear Jackie and Claudia, toaster husband here.

My wife is pregnant with our first, and we are so excited.

The only drawback so far is that my wife is having an extremely difficult time with her body changing and growing.

My wife is absolutely stunning and fit, and I try to constantly be positive and uplifting, telling her that she's crazy and that she's just gorgeous when she gets down in the dumps, but really nothing is working.

How do I get through to her that all of this is a part of the process of being pregnant and ensure her that she's not morphing into a beluga whale?

Her words, not mine.

Save me.

When I go the positivity route, she looks like she might kill me.

You can't, you can't say anything.

Like, it's, she's on this journey.

She'll get there.

She will have, you know, God willing, her baby one day.

And, and she'll bounce back and she will literally forget how big she was.

I was just looking at pictures on my time hop of me from a year ago today.

Like, I was so big.

And

you seriously forget it's a moment in time.

If my husband was trying to tell me, like, you're girl, shut up.

Yeah, they're really.

Shut up.

You're not changing.

Is it more helpful to be like, what are you talking talking about?

I hate when people are like

acting like what's happening isn't happening.

And it's like, no, no, facts are facts.

Like, I have gained weight.

So saying like, no, you haven't is not helpful because I have.

And it's not about talking about gaining weight.

Like, this is a pregnancy.

It's not like your wife is gaining weight and you want to assure her that she's beautiful no matter what she looks like.

Like she's going through something right now.

Well, that's the other thing.

It's like, oh, no.

Like, I'm, when people are like, I've gained weight, they're like, but you know, you're, you're beautiful.

And it's like, well, I wasn't asking if I was beautiful.

Like, I said I'm gaining weight.

so yeah I don't know what the right way especially like for a pregnant person but I imagine it's frustrating for you and you can continue to like be positive don't be like toxically annoyingly positive um if you see there's an open when she's saying something if there's an opening for you to say something or if she's being hard on herself like tell her like how amazing she's doing what she's doing is so incredible um but don't like

like just say like you just keep you know saying the same things maybe talk more about the process but also this is i do feel like something that she's going to work through, come around on and work through.

And it's all part of the journey.

Like, yeah, it's weird and

parts of it are like upsetting when you're getting so big, but it's a luxury.

It's a luxury.

You know,

you also don't want to hear that sometimes, too, when like, oh, you should feel so blessed to be so big.

No, and like you can't complain, even though like there are things to complain about.

In this case, I'm saying this earnestly, two things can be true at the same time.

We have officially come full circle.

Yeah.

But two things can be true at the same time.

You just got to let her go through it.

Yeah.

You know, just get her snacks.

That's a funny thing.

Like you.

Sometimes when I feel fat, like the only thing that can help me is eating.

No, like, have you ever had a breakdown about like what to wear and you just decide not to go and eat?

Yeah.

No, I'm, or I'm at a party and I feel fat, so I have to go.

It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Like, no, but I feel like that night, like, it doesn't matter if you eat or don't eat.

Like, that's not going to be a good thing.

Yeah.

We'll start tomorrow.

But like that night, I need the comfort of food.

Yeah.

It's actually the only thing that like makes me feel better for not looking the way that I want to.

It's insane.

I'm unhappy because I eat.

And I eat because I'm unhappy.

And there's something really crazy.

Do you ever get to a place where like you're so unhappy with the way you look?

Your immediate like reaction is no longer sadness.

It's anger.

And like you, you eat like despite yourself?

Oh,

no.

I've been there.

Like, yes, anger, but then I'm not eating to spite myself because I still am like finding the comfort and sweetness.

It's like a cozy cozy vibe.

It's a good vibe.

Yeah, it's a good, sweet vibe.

It's a sweet treat.

Yeah, I don't like eat out of anger.

No.

I feel like I don't eat out of anger.

Sometimes I eat out of anger and I'm like, yeah, that'll show her.

It's like, I don't even know who to direct my anger at these days.

No, I feel like sometimes when I'm so angry, like I won't eat.

No.

I'll show that.

Like, I'm so crazy.

Sometimes I'll stub my tongue.

I'm like, all right, that's it.

I'm ordering pizza.

I mean, you tried your best.

No, you ever bite your tongue and you're like, okay, ice cream.

Yeah.

Well, you need it to soothe the pain.

No, like, I need the cold.

You need to put ice on it.

That one's medical.

So just get your girl ice cream.

That's our advice.

Just be there for her.

Stay out of her way.

Don't say annoying shit.

That's just good pregnancy advice in general.

Also, like, it's so important.

And I have to say, like, so many of the girls that I talk to

who have either had babies or are going to have babies, like really.

have used or plan on using Ozempic as a resource post post-baby, which I think for like a lot of women is, I think it holds a lot of people back from like getting pregnant because the idea of this huge shift is so scary.

The fact that we have this is such a blessing.

Right.

I don't know if like bringing that up to her like might ease her pain at all, but just be like, there's always those empic.

Yeah.

No, I think that would like hurt her because I feel like what she's experiencing, she's not worried about like losing the weight.

She might actually be looking forward to that.

Right.

I think she's dreading like the climb.

But life's the climb.

Life is the climb.

And the view is great.

It, it, it's just a part of the process.

Sometimes you just got to let things things play out.

You can't fix everything.

You can't fix everything.

Longtime brother and toaster in need of your girly's advice.

Every time I take my kids to the park, there's a young couple that lay next to the playground without kids and they practically fornicate in front of everyone.

Shirtless massages, straddling each other, heavily making out and slapping asses with a belt.

Do I say something to them?

Do I call the cops?

Bringing my kids to a new park.

They're there all the time.

It's just really awkward and inappropriate.

Call the cops.

Yeah, this is like where, and I think the older you get, the more you're like embracing your inner Karen.

Like you have to call the cops.

At the end of the day, what these people are doing is illegal.

Illegal, you just.

It depends where you live, but.

And it also just depends on like the level of nudity, but it's inappropriate.

Like these are children and there's something weird here.

There's a million parks you could go like get your rocks off.

Why are you doing it next to kids?

Like that's creepy.

I want to talk about the belt.

Slapping asses with a belt.

No, no, no.

This is like.

Call the cops.

Yeah, this is freaky.

And this is just a conversation I feel like.

But having sex in public is not legal.

No, it is not.

Thank you for bringing that up.

And it is the perfect segue into a conversation I love to have.

And I feel we always have it at some point during Deer Toasters is, you know, bring back shame.

Yeah.

But also like bring back

decency.

Bring back the cops.

Hey, cops.

Get over here.

Come back.

There's a crazy couple fornicating in front of the.

And by the way, this is like,

obviously it's illegal, but it's like another level of illegal when you're within like X amount of feet from a children's playground.

100%.

Seriously, we were like X amount of feet from

a school.

A school.

No, but I'm saying like, what's like a public park that kids aren't at that just adults would be at?

I don't fucking know.

Like a nudist park?

I don't know.

Yeah, but say it was just like Washington Square, like a general park and they were doing this.

Like it wouldn't be as

bad and as inappropriate as doing it next to a children's playground.

Well, it's like this actually just happened.

I think it was in Williamsburg.

Or no, it was Central Park.

It was like such a gorgeous day.

Everybody was out in the park and this couple was like laying under a towel like having sex and people were filming it.

Like, and I don't know.

I think the cops ended up like breaking it up.

My God, like who would ever be a cop?

I don't fucking know.

Like that sounds horrible.

Like making these freaks like get off of each other.

I would seriously be like, don't touch me.

Yeah.

It just happened.

And it's like,

broad daylight, a million people around.

It was a gorgeous day.

I think it was a Saturday, Sunday.

Everybody was like, you know, hanging around in the park.

You're having sex in the middle of the park.

What is wrong with people?

Well, a lot's wrong with people, but I actually am like not surprised that that doesn't.

I'm actually surprised that that doesn't happen more.

Like, I feel like people walk around naked.

Yeah.

People are like just having sex everywhere, kissing.

Like, you know, there's no boundaries anymore.

Like, why now I this line?

Yeah.

But doing it near a kid's park is so not okay.

And you should 100% call the cops and you should feel empowered in your Karen-ness.

Like, this is one of those moments where it's allowed.

100%.

Got to protect them kids.

That's so crazy.

Deer toasters, Toasters, again, our weekly advice segment, where if you want to write in or if you have written in and we gave you some advice, let us know how that went.

Update us.

You can email us, deertoasters at gmail.com or head over to the toastpodcast.com for a little submission box.

That is our show.

We're back Thursday, hoping to have the new studio set up.

I plan to have video.

Don't, you know,

get excited.

It's going to be a bit of a surprise and delight for everyone.

It'll be a surprise for everyone what happens on Thursday.

But there will be audio.

Yeah, of course, there always is.

Thank you guys so much for listening to that's the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast-fast stories you need to have every Monday through Friday, and YouTube.

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Bye.