The Final Jam: Thursday, April 25th, 2024

Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the toast.

Happy Ersday

that

really is giving, not in a good way, Friday energy, you know, I think it's giving finality.

So many dreams, so many plans.

Yeah, Turdy's going home.

Turdy's going home.

It's the final together episode of the week, but tomorrow we'll do one as pen pals, which is exciting, but bittersweet because we won't be together.

Bruno won't be with his auntie.

Not only for the show is it harmful and destructive.

It's rhetoric.

It's destructive, but for us as people too, we're going to miss each other.

No, of course.

And it's not right.

But it's okay.

But it's okay.

I'm gonna make it anyway.

Whenever I say I'm going home in like a dramatic way, I always think of, do you know what I'm gonna to say?

No.

That scene from, what is that Dakota Johnson or Rebel Wilson movie?

Had to be single, where like at the end, she finally finds herself and she gets into a cab and he's like, where are you, ma'am?

She's like, home.

I'm going home.

I need an address.

And she's like, ma'am, I don't know where the fuck you live.

Honestly, hysterical.

So I'm going home.

I'm going home.

I'm going home.

Not the worst.

No, I know.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

I thought, oh my God.

I didn't know.

I thought you were.

Oh, my God.

It's called like Crave.

I thought you were like trying to, you know, really sing.

Excuse me?

No, maybe

is this our first rodeo?

It's not.

It's actually

a thousand, three hundredth.

We got to count.

We don't know where we're at.

We did count recently.

How many episodes has it been since we stood in this here room and did our thousandth?

So that was about 14 months ago that we did our thousandth.

So 300.

Give or take.

Give or take.

Well, in the honor of that, we've got a great show planned for you guys today.

We've got stories.

We've got bru la la.

We've got shula la.

It keeps working.

More importantly than all of that, we have the fiddler on the roof kind of recap follow-up that you've all been waiting for.

Jackie and I finished Fiddler on the Roof last night.

What have they been waiting for since the 1970s when the movie came out?

Correct.

I wasn't expecting the turn the film took, you know.

I always knew, like I said yesterday, the film was about a family.

I knew it was about daughters getting married.

I didn't know about, you know, the political climate in the village in which they resided.

And I didn't know the second half of the film was seriously going to make me want to kill myself.

Yeah.

Because it is about Dorders getting married, sure,

amongst other things, but it's really about like Jewish history and the plight of the Jews in Russia.

What happened to the Russian Jews?

Everything from the first act, all the drama, the silly town gossip.

kind of fell by the wayside was irrelevant because uh they had three days to pack their shit and get out yeah so i was left at the end of the film like climbing into bed feeling sad for sure.

Um, and I wasn't, you know, like LARPing, like, oh, I'm the title.

Like, I was just kind of sat there with you.

Yeah, like your title, you're moving somewhere with your husband while you wait for your family who's emigrating to America to see if they can bring you over, like with your new baby.

It's not really like fun anymore.

While your sister is living in Siberia because her chosen husband is a political prisoner, and your other sister is dead to the family because she married outside of the faith one and two to like an officer whose people just kicked out your people.

Yeah, I was, I'm I'm not gonna lie, living for the cancellation of Chava.

Like, Java is over party.

I loved every minute of it.

I kept saying, I'm like, we need to get back to Java.

Like, I need to see the part where her family finds out.

I need to see the part where, like, they literally ignore her and said shiva for her.

And let me tell you, it did not disappoint.

I wanted them to go harder on Java.

I really did.

Like, I seriously, I wanted Java to leave there in pieces.

Yeah.

I am all for the destruction of Java.

What's that last name?

Hmm.

I don't think they told us like the family name.

I don't know.

Well, I was all for like I was the event planner for Java's Overparty, you know?

Yeah.

I was obsessed.

Yeah, so it was enjoyable.

Good family movie added to the list.

Good family movie sad.

Like just don't forget about the unexpected turn.

Yeah, and it just kind of ends there.

And now having seen it in full, like fresh in your mind, what are your final thoughts on a potential?

modern take on the film?

No, the more we talked about it and the more people wrote in the comments, like the more I feel like this movie needs to be protected and that it wouldn't be and it seriously couldn't be in the modern climate.

There is no way that it doesn't turn out like a hot seeming pile of garbage, no matter how many protections are in place.

They can't help themselves, turtle.

I did see a good suggestion for a casting in the comments and it be that Amy Schumer plays the matchmaker.

She's too like funny and like The Matchmaker is funny.

No, but I feel like I'll be too much like, oh my God, that's Amy Schumer.

I just feel like all these people that we know like Kaz played.

Yeah.

And it needs to, i think she's too recognizable

okay

okay

i and by the way as far as i've heard there are no projects in the works to revamp this film someone said like the heim sisters should play the daughters like no that's why we shouldn't have a remake yeah like you're you like that sort of suggestion is really not understanding like how specific we tend we are intending to be when casting this film sort of suggestion is not in tune with what's necessary somebody also left a comment josh groban actually converted to christianity which was really heartbreaking by Felicia.

I feel like a part of me knew that because I didn't see him in my head as a Jew.

Oh, I did.

Somebody told me that like somewhat recently and like, it's been my favorite thing that I've been doing.

I feel like you're always telling it to me.

And I'm kind of like a Josh Groban stan.

You are.

Like amongst Bruno Mars and Kelly Clarkson, like you can add, he's of that elk for me.

And

it didn't have like Jew on his resume for me.

And you always tell me that.

I'm like, oh, cool, but it doesn't stick.

Well, God had Jew on his resume, but Josh had other plans.

He converted outside the faith that's i mean it's hard to be a jew look around no not everyone can handle it clearly josh carbon could have historically you know what we're seeing right now is not new no it is not it's a tale as old as time so fiddler on the roof what uh platform did we watch it on i don't even remember amazon prime we bought it did we i don't know well i was gonna recommend i feel like it might have been disney plus no it wasn't it wasn't whatever stream fiddler stream fiddler stan topal

and i really enjoyed that journey we went on.

And other than that, before we dive into the Fast Fifth Stories, anything you want to tell us about?

Is there something you're waiting for me to tell you about?

Like a recap, but that's what we do here.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it just, it felt like kind of targeted.

What did we do yesterday?

What did we do?

We reared children.

We worked nicely.

The day kind of just goes into a hold.

It does.

And then

we had dinner, you know?

Right.

There was dinner.

And then there was frozen yogurt.

Oh, there was.

For me, I went for the ice cream, ice splurge.

Jaggie went for heart ice cream.

I went for soft serve.

Hers was so much better.

At the end of the day, make the right choice.

Yeah.

Ben was just like pressuring us.

He's like, I'm going.

I'm going.

I'm going.

Write your two things in the chat.

And I actually put two different orders in the chat as did you.

Because it was such a sort of

hasty moment.

And he mucked up my order.

I wanted like one

Cookie monster ice cream and then one cookies and cream ice cream like separate so I could have my experimentation ice cream and he put them together.

And what is worse than like somebody like going and like doing you a favor and doing it wrong?

You can't really be mad at them because like they were the one who volunteered to go get the ice cream.

Yeah, but he had selfish interests too.

Well, of course.

He went and he, by the way, he ate his ice cream before he even got home.

And seriously, every night he's been like ice cream tonight.

So we were kind of doing him a favor by

giving him permission.

Because we've been really good on it.

And not making him eat alone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we were good on our health journeys, but we've been slipping.

Once it became Passover and we had to like get creative with meals and stuff,

we let the chips fall where they may.

Because potato chips are kosher for passover but we've been slipping which is also why it's kind of good that we're parting ways because we haven't been like the best influence on one another so now we'll kind of like go back into our holes grind grind rise grind and then i'll see you again in like a week and a half are you talking about physically you're gonna see me in a week and a half i am

you are because we're going to dare meet irl in austin not a secret we have a lot of things coming up we're going to jackson's jackson turd are heading down south we're going to austin which is just always fun and exciting we're doing a panel together we're also doing a spritz meet and greet.

So details to follow.

Then I'm headed to LA.

Yeah.

For the 5K.

So I'll be seeing you in Austin really soon.

Yeah, I forgot about that.

I also

total blur.

I ran 3.2 miles yesterday, which I is the 5K.

And then some, my time was 39 minutes.

I was really not okay.

We need to talk about the 5K.

Oh, my God.

Okay, what?

What?

What did I do now?

We've reached

the threshold of talking about talking about the 5K.

Wait, that's like so crazy i feel like i literally like never talk about it no i'm being dead serious really i feel like yeah i like when i have like a an update in my run progress like i'll share it in the prefast five banter and i really don't feel like that's that crazy no no no if there's a by the way sound off in the comments have i been talking too much about the 5k i'm telling you my ass is not yeah i like i haven't for sure maybe you haven't i think perhaps you have a low threshold maybe that's what it is I don't know.

I kind of have a high threshold for you talking, period.

I have a high threshold of people talking about like their passion projects you know i feel like i have a high threshold but maybe i'm that maybe i can't see it's giving me blindness but perhaps that could be blindness

yeah

one of us is blind okay i'm deaf does jackie have a low threshold for talking about the 5k or have i been really annoying Let me know.

Also, I don't care.

Even if I have been really annoying, there's one more week.

And what I've done in these last three months is just amazing.

Right.

Nothing short of a miracle.

Miraculous.

And the good news is like in a week, it's over, unless you've got the marathon bug.

Absolutely not.

I do like running.

I do think I'll add it to my fitness routine.

Three miles is definitely my max.

I feel like you're on track to run a marathon by November.

Are you november?

The New York City Marathon.

Okay, so when the marathon happens, like I do watch it and I'm like jealous of all the attention that people get.

And I think, oh my God, like people could be writing posters for you.

I'm going to start today for you.

364 days till the marathon.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

But like in theory, and it's so crazy because I always think about that one year, Olivia ran the half half marathon.

And we were like, what are you doing?

And she did that shit.

Like we literally went our, we dragged our asses to Prospect Park and we waited for her.

And honestly, the more I think about it, like we didn't give her enough credit.

It was really like a crazy thing to do.

A half marathon is 13 miles.

Yeah.

I would say like maybe that.

Jackie, it's so many miles.

Like you get hours to do it.

It's not like wants to be running for hours.

I like count down the minutes.

Yeah.

I don't.

I don't really feel like that's in my future, but you know, maybe play this at my funeral, you know?

Right.

Play this after you finish the marathon.

Right.

When you're making like fan edits of me, when you came to to see me live, like that's why I would do it for the attention.

Oh, for sure.

The fan edits, like lights will guide

you home.

And she's crossing the finish line.

Handing

out

your bones.

And she's sitting here saying, I would never do a marathon.

I will

try

to fix Brew.

Bruno's perfect.

Just the way

you are.

And when I'm in LA, when I'm not doing the 5K, i have lined up such a stellar

stellar lineup of guest co-hosts i don't want to spoil that i'm not even going to make an announcement i'm just going to drop the episodes with like these i think i have four booked i'm waiting on my fifth so far nobody who's ever been on the shows before correct that's exciting i don't even know who the final four are right now like There were names swirling, but I don't know who was booked.

Yeah.

It's giving women in comedy.

It's giving Netflix is a joke fest, you know, that we happen to be in LA.

That's why the 5K is that week.

All these comedians are in town.

So I really had my pick of the letter.

That's exciting.

And what's exciting for me is don't look for me.

Your girl will be at the spa.

Love.

She will be pampered and pampering.

She'll be getting tasks done that she hasn't been able to get done.

It's going to be productivity.

It's giving women in STEM.

No, that way, that week, like I just have to get to that week.

Like I have so much going on.

I have to just get to that week and then I'm free it's gonna be amazing no no I'm so excited and the best part is I'll have the toast to listen to correct and if you guys are looking for me you should stop because you won't find me I did want to let everyone know I plan on pre-recording these episodes so I land Sunday and I'm gonna record Sunday night for Monday Monday for Tuesday Tuesday for Wednesday and so forth so the episodes will be out on time and they might not be like the most insanely topical like if there's breaking news

It's gonna be giving more of an interview for him.

There's certain people, like especially who I'm recording with on Monday, I want his takes on the fast five.

So he'll be doing Tuesday's Fast Five with me.

But for everyone, I'm just going to take it, you know, day by day.

Great.

Co-host by co-host.

Great, because you know that the fast five here are just a means to an end.

And if you think that like this show is about the fast five, then it's your first episode and welcome because we are so excited to have you here.

So this is an amazing show woman.

We love new listeners.

And the thing is, we'll, we'll bring you in with the fast five and the talk of pop culture.

You think like, oh, it's a pop culture podcast.

How exciting.

I like pop culture.

But now you're here.

And it's really just about Fiddler on the Roof and Turdy's 5K and how Bruno is an amazing gem of a man who is in financial ruin, which is why he comes to work every day now.

Speaking of pop culture, Jackie and I found ourselves a couple of days ago sort of at the center of a phenomenon in pop culture and we completely forgot to talk about it on yesterday's show.

Which is giving conspiracy.

Because people are like, why aren't you guys mentioning it?

And what's so funny is like when it happened.

We told you guys.

What do you mean?

We told you guys that this was going to happen.

We said on our Patreon, though, that they had, that Vanderpump Rules producers reached out asking if they could use a clip from the toast that Jax was on.

Signed like a licensing form.

And we assumed that it was from that scene where he's talking to Tom Sandoval.

And it was going to be a clip from The Toast when he was talking to Josh about Sandoval.

But they clipped a...

Segment from his and Britney's podcast instead.

So we were like, oh, they didn't choose us.

They didn't choose us because that was when Jax was on VPR and it was going into the Valley.

So we didn't think we would see Jax again.

But then we said that on Patreon.

And then the producers actually emailed.

They're like, no, it's going to be on a different episode.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I thought about that.

They were like, no, it's on a different episode.

Like, it's still happening.

They gave us the air date, but it just completely slipped my mind.

Right.

And then when it aired two nights ago, everyone who was watching live messaged us and our friends texted us and we were so excited.

And we actually turned on that one moment.

Claudia took a video of me watching it and we just like forgot to post the video.

And then yesterday we forgot to mention it.

And it seems like we're kind of like giving.

Dodging.

No, dodging and like avoiding.

And the spotlight.

There's like beefs, maybe?

No beef whatsoever.

Live for it.

Like I did cringe because like I was really the one like fanning the flames of that conversation.

If you watch, they only clipped a small bit but the conversation jax and i were having which is one that i started was i felt like at that point in time lisa vanderpump's presence on the show was a little superfluous for lack of a better word and i was asking jax like what his thoughts were on her being there when it's like all these younger people and why she was getting involved in their business and he just went off like if i had started what i thought was like a provoke provocative question, he like totally took the bait and he said that she was superfluous, that she was a prop.

He betrayed, she betrayed him.

Like he really went off.

And so Lisa is really angry with him.

And that's like a big storyline, kind of, you know, started by Turkey.

Central to the central.

And I wonder if, like, when they're at the reunion, they're gonna be like, You said that on the toast, you know?

Yeah, no, they usually don't say that.

They'll say, like, and sometimes they'll say not about us, but others are like gossip podcast, reality TV podcast, like Jura Nine.

Like, Journal number nine.

Shout out Jura number nine.

I hope you're having a good day.

We still haven't heard from her, by the way.

Like, but if we had, maybe we wouldn't have even told you.

Is Jura number nine, like, do they have to stay in a hotel?

Is it like a

high-profile trial like that?

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

But also, jur number nine.

Let's do the Gematria of number nine.

Half of Chai.

Correct.

It's giving Tevia.

It's giving Jur number nine as a toaster, as if we needed any more reason to believe.

Yeah, so that's exciting.

Again, toast just kind of like central to what's going on right now.

Yet another phenomena in pop cult.

Phenomenon?

Phenomena.

One of them is plural.

One of them is singular.

Is that what it is?

I believe we are not

wrong I like it my way better and if I'm wrong so be it so so what look I didn't get struck oh so I'm wrong what are you gonna do about it leave a comment

create engagement create engagement bro the women's basketball team is still in the finals that was the men

you know we ended up being wrong about that right did you ever figure out because what they were telling us was different it wasn't that it was men's and women's it was like iowa state versus iowa university like we were talking about the wrong team don't care so what i'm still a rock star i got my rock moves and i don't need you because like yeah sure we were wrong but like seriously so what like

it has no actual bearing on society bearing on society or even whatever conversation we were having like sometimes if we're wrong and like that changes like the message or the whole change it's rare it's rare then it requires a correction but like seriously okay i really guess and i can't believe like you think i talk about the 5k too much like i'm really not feeling self-conscious i'm sorry no no no but it's these things are important to know i like to you know fancy myself a self-aware girl yeah

i just want to make sure like you're right you know maybe i hopefully i'm not maybe it's just like me because i'm on the receiving end of it perhaps or maybe it's because like i've been living in your house just sort of like running every day and like you see me you know and like i always make like a big deal of it you know no actually maybe i'm just like kind of rubbing in the number on

My athleticism.

Maybe that.

I could see how maybe I've been doing that.

Yeah.

I'll do better.

And you'll listen.

No.

And you'll learn.

No.

Tell me about the stories.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Good.

That works for me if it works for you.

That sounds good.

No, I'm excited to talk about some of them.

Not all of them.

I'll be real.

I'll be real.

Okay.

Well, I mean, some of them, it's like you guys are excited for us to talk about them.

But if I'm being real, like.

Oh, I i feel that sometimes

yeah it's giving

like

like whatever no but it's good i think there's some really interesting conversations waiting for us on the other side of the ads oh okay well on the other side of the yeah with the neutral and farmer's dog and

i don't want to spoil

sex.com and hatchbring campaign podcast copy

Yeah, it's just a little spoiler of what's to come.

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Thank you, turtle.

You're welcome.

Our first story, rumors swirling.

Swirling?

I'm tired of rumors starting.

Except this isn't like a rumor.

It'd be weird if it weren't true.

I'm sick of rumors swirling.

I'm sick of being girly.

Never.

Never.

I'm not tired of either of those things.

But word on the street is that Travis and Taylor were on a private couple's getaway with Gigi Adid and Bradley Cooper Cooper at Carmel by the Sea this weekend as her album dropped.

The four some were double dating.

No, wait, I'm trying to find the phrase.

Hold on.

Taylor Swift to me is, she's a near-perfect person, you know, and every, the more I learn about her, like later in, like the older she gets, like the more I love.

Her fatal flaw, that's the worst thing about Taylor Swift is her friendship with Gigi Hadid because there's like fewer people on this earth I despise more.

And honestly, I'm probably one of the people Gigi Gigi Hadid despises most too, her and her family's anti-Semitism just oozing out of every pore.

And

it's very tough.

And you know, the fact, and I feel like they've always been like really strong, but I feel like their friendship has never been stronger.

Like she's spending this weekend.

She's like the top of the crop.

Like she's like, Taylor has a lot of friends.

She's always had a lot of friends, but there are, I think, like three or four of the celebrity elk that like are her.

Rider guys.

And Taylor's friendship with Kelly Taylor made me like her so, like, as if I couldn't like Taylor more.

I love love Kelly Taylor.

We've been on the Kelly Taylor train before everyone else.

Like it was so much cool now, but we've always been.

To me, that friendship, I was like, oh, this is a woman of taste, you know?

Yeah.

And

this is like,

who do you think she's closer with?

Gigi or Blake Lively?

Blake Lively.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We stand.

No, it's really, really tough.

It's tough.

The Zionist 50s definitely have a hard time with this.

And I don't know how many of us there are, but I know there's me, Margo, and Liz Woods.

And we struggle.

We struggle.

Yeah.

And that's how she chose to like celebrate her birthday but they're really close I'm sure Travis and Bradley are enjoying each other because also Bradley is an Eagles fan right yeah so I'm sure he's excited to be with the brother yeah of the eagle legend of the eagle legend was way hardcore and not to make this story about me but like you know it's tough it's tough yeah

It's also tough because there was a time when like I literally died for Gigi Hadid like the Real House Does the Beverly Hills Cody Simpson

No, really before that, like when she was on the Real Housewives at Beverly Hills and like really her star was taking off and she dated Cody Simpson and she did that.

I always think of this one like Australian swimwear company.

I think that was like one of her really big first campaigns.

Like the way I was obsessed with Gigi Hadid like was so crazy.

And it was because I was obsessed with housewives and it was just like this natural.

And she was like my, like I was obsessed with her.

And I can't believe that that's the same.

She also like looked so different.

She was like really bleach blonde and she was more bikini.

not bikini.

She was more commercial.

Commercial looking than high fashion.

And that was like a lot of the work that she did.

Like when she did that campaign for guests and she like fainted and her mom was like, have a bite of an almond.

Like that was iconic.

And I can't believe that's the same person.

She's lived like so many different lives.

We all have.

Yeah.

But yeah, this is a story like I really can't talk about much further because like I'm just blinded by rage.

Yeah, I understand.

Well, there's part two to this story.

Oh.

And it's about Donna Kelsey.

Oh, yes.

She's running her mouth.

She's running her mouth over Taylor's album.

So she was at QVC's Age of Possibility Summit in Las Vegas on Wednesday, where she was also overheard talking about the fact that Taylor was on this double date.

So that's like partially the source for this, but also I saw it on Dumois.

Anyways, she said, I listened to the whole album and I listened to it all morning long when it was.

She said this on QVC this part?

No, she said, yes, she told People magazine at QVC's summit.

She said, I was just very impressed.

She's a very talented woman and I think it is probably her best work.

We love that Donna Kelsey has gotten media trained because the last time she was asked about Taylor on the today show, it was like muster fuck.

And she was trying to be respectful, but ended up like

trying to be like aloof and like coy and ended up being rude.

Yeah.

So we love that she's listening and learning.

Yeah, she was asked if she has any words of wisdom for Taylor and she said she doesn't need my advice on anything.

In fact, I hope she will give me advice.

Yeah, she has clearly listened and learned.

And we love.

We stand.

Yeah.

Like, yeah, you know?

Like, cool, Donna.

No, cool.

We love.

We love.

Do you think Donna, like, is worried?

I don't think Travis is worried about this because I don't think Travis is a worrier.

He doesn't give worry word energy.

But I think, you know, mothers worry about their sons.

Of course.

Do you think that she's worried what sort of album would come out about Travis if things go south?

Because I think she knows the type of like person she raised.

And like, you can say what you want about Travis, but he's not like a bad person.

Yeah, you think he'll behave in a respectable way.

I do.

Although there were like a lot of rumors about him prior that he was like sort of like a cheater.

Yeah.

Like football athlete energy.

You can't pull that shit.

you can't pull that shit in this type of relationship the whole world is watching but regardless of what happens in their relationship if it were to end which at this rate like it's it never will but if it were to end like there would be songs to come out about him you know and and

you know not every person that taylor's dated and slammed in the past is a bad person she just like she's sharing her feelings yeah

Right, right.

It doesn't make them a bad person if they're in a song.

So you're saying like she knows the boy that she raised, but that doesn't make him him immune to having like a song written about him that someone like that he broke someone's heart.

Yeah, right.

No, I don't think Donna's worrying, honestly.

I think they're all just like basking in the glow of whatever the hell is going on right now.

It's so strange.

Like they're just like living life, you know, and it seems like things couldn't be going better.

Yeah, it does seem that way.

So let's just enjoy this moment without ruining it, like thinking about the future and like all potential bad outcomes, you know?

Yeah, I'm just saying.

No, I don't.

I'm just making conversation.

No, I know you're on the podcast.

Which is always good.

Thinking through things.

It's always good.

But no, to answer your question, no, I don't think she's thinking that.

Especially because, like, this album is such a slammer in terms of slamming people.

And when I think back on her last two albums, they actually weren't.

No, because they weren't written about her.

Like, Midnights was about a lot of, like, some songs are about her personal life, but it felt more about like experiences.

It was just more random in a good way.

You know, there's like this

sort of battle, this debate between, you know, online spifties that Midnights is a breakup album masked as like, you know, a pop pussy popping song.

Okay, that's fine.

I just feel like it wasn't other albums from earlier in her career, like Red is the Jake Gyllenha album and the Connor Kennedy album.

And Speak Now is John Mayer.

Right.

And Torture Poets is the Maddie Healy, a little bit of Sprinkled Joel and her.

Folklore Evermore and Midnights don't really have that sort of identifier.

Neither does, and Lover is a positive album.

So

no slam, no beat, no shade.

And Reputation is not about relationships.

No, it is.

It's also very popular.

The songs that some of them are obviously about Kim and like, look what you made me do.

But a lot of them are, you know, call it what you want.

Good, positive.

Positive Joe songs.

Right.

So we haven't had like a slam in a while, a full album slam.

And I think it's just like, she's putting everyone on notice.

We were too.

She's putting everyone on notice.

If I'm down and I'm listening, I'm saying like, Travis, like, act right.

You bitches forgot, but this is what I do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love that.

Yeah.

Our next story, story,

some update in the saga between Rebel Wilson and Sasha Baron Cohen.

Oh my God, these the most unlikely feud.

I'm obsessed.

Rebel Wilson's memoir.

We were at Barnes and Noble and we like almost bought her memoir because like it's been enticing.

For sure, but listen to this.

Her memoir will be published in the UK with the Sasha Baron Cohen allegations redacted.

Rebel Wilson's memoir will look slightly different when it hits bookstores in the UK.

Rebel Rising, which was published in the U.S.

on April 2nd, debuts in British bookstores on April 25th with some passages redacted.

They said, we are publishing every page, but for legal reasons in the UK edition, we are redacting most of one page with some other small redactions and an explanatory note.

Those sections are a very small part of a much bigger story, and we're excited for readers to know Rebel's story when the book is released.

Among the redacted elements are details of her allegations about experiences working with Sasha Baron-Cohen on the set of the movie The Brothers Grimsby.

She wrote that she felt harassed and humiliated by Sasha Baron Cohen, and he vehemently denied the allegations.

A rep for him told people when the book was first published in the U.S.: While we appreciate the importance of speaking out, these demonstrably false claims are directly contradicted by extensive detailed evidence, including contemporaneous documents, film, footage, and eyewitness accounts for those present before, during, and after the production of their brothers Grimsby.

Well, two things.

One, you know, the laws are different in every country.

So it's possible that, like,

you know, she is more guilty in the UK, and maybe perhaps that's why she took it out.

But also, I do feel like in a sense, redacting it is like an admission of guilt.

Yeah.

That's not the best look.

Yeah, there, his camp had said, like, they clearly did not fact check this book.

In the UK, you can't just write false shit about people.

That's still the law.

This is a really bad look for Rebel.

Yikes.

And her memoir.

Memoirs of a Rebel.

Memoirs of a Rebel.

Like, it's giving, like, I'm a liar.

But by the way, did we just even talk about the name of her book?

Because I think it's kind of a great name.

Rebel Rising.

I love it.

Yeah.

It's not Memoirs of a Rebel, but it's number two.

And it's certainly not Memoirs of a Streisand.

And like, this does call into, like, of course, when two, but when someone has a bad experience, like, two people experience it differently, and someone, you know, they're there are three sides to every story.

His version of it.

His version of it is their version of it.

And that's how they felt, regardless of the facts of what happened.

Like, there's the facts and then there's your feelings about it.

Like, and you're free to write about your feelings.

But to be so obvious in who it's about and slanderous, and then it might come to be that the facts don't really line up with your feelings.

Yeah.

That's not a good look.

No, but it's clear that UK law has

a little bit more specific when it comes to facts versus feelings.

And how do you redact a passage in a book three days before it hits shelves?

Like it's printed.

So what, is someone at the bookseller's crossing it out?

I don't know, actually.

Or perhaps they, when they went to print in the UK, because I think it's like a different version.

It's different

like imprint and stuff and a different printing press.

Maybe they've known for a while that they were going to cut it out because of the law.

No, I don't think so because we just heard about this a month ago.

Books start printing like months in advance.

Also, if he does sue her, the fact that the excerpt was released prior to the book being published and it's all over the internet, like it not being redacted in the UK, like barely helps her case.

Not her case, but it helps his.

Yeah, of course.

I'm saying, like, it's definitely an admission of guilt.

Yeah.

Because if something is 100,000% factual and able to be backed up,

you have absolutely no reason not to publish it.

You're not doing anything wrong.

Right.

So it just makes you think.

It does make you think.

And, you know, good for him for standing up for himself because people just like when you make allegations like that about someone,

they stick.

And who would we be to say, like, oh, that didn't, like, no, you know, if she says, like, that's what I experienced, like, of course, that's what, but if that's not what happened, you have to defend yourself.

Yeah, because those things just stick.

And they're like, well, then you just get a label on you.

Like, of course.

You know, alleged harasser, Sasha Baron Crown.

That's how they'll refer to you in articles for years to come.

Right.

Yeah.

So it's important to speak up.

It's also important to defend yourself.

Agreed.

Our next story is some crazy legal news.

CLN.

Harvey Weinstein's 2020 rape and sexual assault convictions in New York have been overturned.

So stay tuned for the deeds.

So Harvey Weinstein's convictions in New York state for rape and sexual assault have been overturned according to a decision on Thursday, April 25th.

So he was reported, he was sentenced to 23 years in prison.

He was charged after being accused of forcibly performing oral sex on a woman in 2006 and raping another woman in 2013.

The overturning of the convictions comes after his lawyer claimed that the client didn't receive a fair trial due to decisions of the trial judge, in particular allowing three women to testify against him whose allegations weren't included in the case and permitting prosecutors to potentially confront him about his general behavior.

His lawyer claimed that these decisions by the judge meant that Weinstein's character was on trial rather than the allegations at hand.

So this has been thrown out, but he is still in prison because of a conviction in California.

So it's not like he's getting out of prison.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

But like, what, like, are people dumb?

Which people?

Like, you're, this kind of reminds me like of OJ when that woman, Marcia Clark, like, shit the bed.

Yeah.

Like, this is, do better.

You're literally a lawyer.

Do better.

Like, there clearly was reason for his thing to get appealed, but you just said, like, having women on trial who aren't a part of the case, like, whatever, that obviously is is against law.

And some like, what are you doing?

What are you doing?

Yeah, moron.

Like, that's the prosecution.

People who can't do their jobs, like, really irk me.

Yeah.

So that's really crazy that that was thrown out.

When I saw, I thought, like, he was like getting out of jail and we'd go through this trial again.

Where is he in jail in California?

I thought in New York.

I thought in New York too.

Like, which prison?

Is he in like a real prison?

I think so.

Yeah.

Like, I don't know which prison.

Not like a camp, like, where you know, no, because this is where they send Felicity Heffman.

No, it's not a financial crime.

Right.

Where is Harvey Weinstein in prison?

Like, did you go where Teresa went?

No, it's not.

Mohawk Correctional Facility in Rome, New York.

Now, let's look up this facility.

Okay, it is, yeah, Rome, New York.

They have a website.

It's an American State Prison for men in Oneida County, New York, owned and operated by the New York State Department of Corrections.

It's a medium security, but also has a maximum security unit and a special housing unit.

Yeah.

There's also an inmate list.

Interesting.

Oh, wow.

Where are the most comfortable prisons?

I'm now on like some list.

Guess where the number, but this is all over the world.

So do we really care?

Norway, for those who are wondering.

Damn.

Damn, Daniel.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yes.

It's number four.

Oh, well, that of course does change things.

Yeah.

No, to answer your question, I'm not ready.

Because if it's the number four story that's brought to you by Hatch per chance.

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Our next story has to do with the story from last week that I didn't get your opinion on, but which I would love.

But Buckingham Palace has now started promoting its strawberry preserve days after Megan Markle releases her line of jam.

Yes.

However,

Sori kind of makes it seem like they launched jam just because she did.

This is a years-long project.

So, as we stated last week.

And it's also jam season.

Like, sorry, this is a big nothing burger.

For sure.

But as we stated last week, Megan Markle started ARO.

She launched her jams.

What is it called?

American Riviera Orchard.

She sent her jams.

American Riviera Orchard by the rural juror.

Exactly.

And on Wednesday, Buckingham Palace's shops Instagram account shared a video promoting a Royal Strawberry Preserve just days after Arrows jams.

I think this is not like a slight or these two things have anything to do with each other.

I think it's

Jerry, jam season.

You think there is room for all of us in the jam market?

I think we all have jam products that we want to promote.

Interesting.

I just want to say the Buckingham Palace gift shop is an amazing place to shop online for gifts.

Like I have placed a few orders from there.

The joy it brings, like you have to check out

the gift shop.

Jackie's nutty, but those cookies like you could get biscuits.

Everything is like so fancy looking.

Got like books.

Oh my god, some of the best kids' books that I got.

I got from there.

I've got like some history books.

It's crazy.

Like you have to look at this website.

It's insane.

She's not wrong.

I'm not going to lie.

She is not wrong.

Stationery, a planner, like an apron.

Just the cutest things.

So anyways, just like shout out to that.

So you don't think this is Battle of the Jams?

I don't, but I do want to talk about jam

and

Arrow.

I love ARO.

I hate the name and this first product makes absolutely no fucking sense to me.

But I love that she's doing PR boxes because like seeing who's getting them, Chris Jenner got one.

Perfect.

She's kind of the only name I know.

Me too, but it's perfect and it's a start.

And to say I'm disappointed in the direction ARO has taken when

I first was, you know, introduced to the brand and where they would be going, did I think that jam would be no, I thought we were going to get, you know, a Dutch oven as the first product or perhaps

tea towels, you know?

i didn't expect this um

and it's an orange jam which i think is disgusting i love strawberry jam i love raspberry jam i do not like grape jam and i don't know what's in orange jam apricot perhaps and it's not for me but it was presented with lemons i feel like it has lemons in it lemon jam ain't a thing

like you saw the gift basket had lemons

I thought it was more like a stylistic thing, you know, like the season.

I think maybe it was a tie-in to the nodes of jam.

Nodes of lemon in the jam.

yeah interesting i think the whole thing is like being done really poorly i'm showing

the final jam

it is giving the fact this is real this is me that's literally megan she's like you guys think you know me but here's my jam and buckingham palace is i'm too cool too cool i'm too cool to know you they're like yeah we've been at this camp for six years good luck mitchie good luck with your jams at the final jam literally it's giving mitchie She's Mitchie Markle.

Okay, content idea for the social, like the final jam, but Tess has Charles's face on it and Mitchie has Megan's face.

Oh, that's funny.

I don't associate the Buckingham Palace gift shop with Charles, but yeah, I guess

Lizzie.

It's Lizzie's shop.

Lizzie is ripped, so it's Charles's shop now.

I feel like Kate, when she's well and good and looking to take something on, should really

become the face of the shop.

No, but I feel like the shop is perfect.

Like the way you described it, like I wouldn't change a thing.

I know, but you just said it's Charles's shop.

Yeah, he's the king, Jack.

And he lives there and she doesn't.

Kate doesn't.

He doesn't.

Not yet.

Camilla's shop?

Camilla has a book club.

No, and one thing about Camilla is like, I actually, like, over the last couple of years, they've done a good job.

Like, they've gotten to me.

Like, I, I kind of get it.

I get it.

Um, nothing about her aesthetic is enticing to me.

Yeah.

No.

She doesn't give off like even Nancy Meyer Coastal Grand.

She gives off like old lady butterscotch candies.

Like she gives off bad vibes aesthetically.

I said it.

Yeah, but I think she should keep doing what she's doing.

It's working.

I don't need more from her.

No, no, I don't need her taking over the shop.

I need a like direct to consumer marketing branding expert.

Like somebody needs to help Megan.

This brand is like very slowly.

I don't know if she has all the help that money can buy.

There's no way all the help that money can buy came up with American Riviera Orchard as a name.

But it did.

And a first product being Jam.

It's so bad.

She has all the help that money can buy.

It's really bad.

And I'm really disappointed because I was excited.

You don't think, I've spent so much of last week like analyzing this jam.

And I ended up in like, what did Stasi say about it?

Oh, my God.

Stasi.

Was she disappointed?

She was disappointed that, not for the same reason as you.

She's disappointed that Megan has just like

decided to become an influencer and has had some product line and all this stuff.

That like it's so she thought Megan was going to change the world, she said.

And like all the stuff they talk about, like philanthropy and this and that.

And then just to see like she's just going to become like any other like commercial energy.

Yeah.

Like where is the humanity?

Where is the charity?

Where is the change?

People's princess.

Yeah.

Like she thought Megan and Harry had what it took to change the world.

And I think we both agree that.

if that's what they wanted to do they could have accomplished way more staying in the royal family yeah and now she's really disappointed that like none of those things are happening oh man she's coming from a place of earnestness no and and clearly sadness it sounds like yeah damn yeah like disappointment in a different way Real disappointment.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, honestly, like it sent a chill through me when she said it.

Chilling stuff.

Chilling stuff.

But no, where I ended with the jam is I think the jam is a jumping off point.

I mean, we're starting small and we're going to build out.

We can't just start with a Dutch oven.

We're not going to beat like Crusade in a day.

No, of course.

Like Crusé wasn't built in a day.

This is her lip kit, for lack of a better analogy.

The difference being when I think at the time, especially when I thought of Kylie, I thought of lips.

When I think of Megan, I'm not thinking of jam.

What do you think of?

I definitely think of like more.

I think that's the problem.

I think that's the problem.

I don't even know what I would suggest.

Yeah.

But when, when the brand was described to me, even though I didn't like the name, I really liked when they announced the brand, what it was going to be.

There was going to be like a partnering Netflix show is going to give very much Joanna Gaines energy.

Still happening.

Yeah.

And I think,

and also like selling food online is like weird.

Do you know what I mean?

Well, jams last forever.

No, I know, but like, it's just weird.

Like, okay, Kroger.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like, am I going to get it on Instacart?

Kurt?

It's just weird.

Yeah.

I do like a jam, though.

I love a jam.

Not an orange one.

I love a honey, too.

Maybe that'll be their next product.

Yeah.

I want honey by David Beckham.

He has his own bees.

Oh, right, right.

I was like, okay, what's the correlation?

Yeah, he takes honey seriously.

Yeah.

I respect that.

He respects them.

I hope one day I'm in a position to take honey honey seriously.

I mean, it's definitely a privilege.

You know, like, but right now I'm just like buying the bear from the store.

No, no, no.

And I personally like cannot relate to anyone who's not buying the bear from the store.

Yeah, but that's a goal of mine.

And if you don't buy the bear from the store, like you should just, good for you.

I'm not like saying anything bad, but like you should just like every day like stop and be grateful.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because you're like, you're on a different planet.

If you had a bear, you wouldn't know what it's like.

But you don't.

Right.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story which is some sports news oh man yeah one of our favorite athletes reggie bush

is getting his heisman trophy back 14 years after forfeiting it coming in so reggie bush has had his 2005 heisman trophy back as the heisman trust announced wednesday the formal reinstatement of the trophy to bush amid what it calls an enormous changes in the college football landscape So the decision comes after Bush had forfeited his Heisman trophy in 2010 in the wake of significant NCAA sanctions for USC, which included Bush receiving improper benefits during a Trojan's career that spanned from 2003 to 2005.

As part of the decision, on Wednesday, the Heisman Trust is returning the trophy to Reggie and a replica to USC.

Bush will again be invited to all future Heisman trophy ceremonies beginning in the 2024 season.

It's like awkward showing up to like a facility you've been uninvited from for many years.

Like I wouldn't go.

Hey.

How y'all doing?

Literally.

Yeah, so I guess the NCAA rules have changed and now like what he did back then would have been allowed.

So they're giving him his trophy back.

Well them them like recently changing the rules on like, you know, deals athletes can make and all these different things is so long overdue.

I think like people were having that conversation for so many years.

But, you know, at the time, like not to be such a narc, like Reggie did like break the rules.

Like, you know what I mean?

Now that the rules have changed, like he still broke them when they were

in place.

You know what I mean?

It's like kind of weird.

Like, yeah, you're not breaking the rules now, but you didn't do it now.

You did it then.

Yeah.

I think it's okay.

I'm all for Reggie Bush getting his flowers.

I just think conceptually, like, that's not how rules work, you know?

Yeah, unless, like, the rules were made to be broken.

And it's like, we were wrong for that rule.

Chilling.

And we were wrong for the way that we treated you.

And this is an admission of that.

They were wrong for that rule.

And he deserves his trophy.

Like.

And now, let me ask you a question.

Did O.J.

Simpson get his Heisman trophy removed?

That's such a great question.

I believe he had one.

Now, don't.

I get.

Also, Johnny Manzel got the Heisman trophy.

Yeah.

Did you watch his documentary?

I didn't.

It was good.

I needed to know about him.

He did win it in 1968.

Did he get it?

What happened to his Heisman trophy?

Somebody bought it at auction, but I meant like, not the physical one.

Yeah.

No, it's, it's such a great question.

It's giving Willie Millie somewhere.

The strange but true tales of O.J.

Simpson's two Heisman trophies.

Yeah, I don't know.

Did he get it stripped?

But it's, it's now owned by somebody in Reno who collects that sort of thing.

But it's because Johnny Manzel won the Heisman trophy the year that Mante Teo was up for it.

And so that made me like upset.

Johnny.

Yeah.

But then I was like, okay, well, I want to hear about John.

Like, how, how did someone beat Mantai?

And I watched his documentary, which was also like so fascinating, but he broke rule after rule time and time again.

But he still is a member of the Heisman.

Did Johnny ever go to the NFL?

Yeah, and he flopped majorly.

Oh.

No, it's not.

Oh, he had like literally more natural born talent than anyone, and he completely squandered it.

Like,

first of all, like.

okay aaron andrews yeah well i watched a documentary so i'm an expert uh um he broke rules didn't work like was drinking and not and doing drugs and couldn't even like pass a urine test sometimes and like not training the way an athlete should train and he still played really well for a long time under those circumstances but like he was a liability within the nfl and what team was he on

i don't know let me look it up

i feel like he's a name like that i recognize, but I literally know nothing about him.

Maybe I shouldn't watch his documentary.

Yeah, you should.

I think I was in an elevator with him once.

That's so funny.

I was in TSA pre-check with him once.

Oh my God, he's just kind of a man about town.

And the paparazzi were fine.

From the Browns, he was selected as the 22nd overall pick, but despite his success, he struggled with consistency and his tenure was dot, dot, dot,

overshadowed by off-field controversies.

Yeah, exactly.

He was released by the Browns after the end of the 2015 season.

Following further controversies during the 2016 offseason, he was not signed by another team before the start of the season and spent two years away from football until he returned with the Tiger Cats of the CFL in 2018.

He was later traded to the Alouettes during the season, but was released the following year and rendered ineligible to play in the CFL after it was determined he violated the rules of his contract.

Not the CFL.

Not the CFL.

Yeah.

Damn.

Well, it's just a name that I recognize it now.

I feel really learned.

So thank you.

So you should watch the documentary because it's a crying shame how he squandered natural born talent.

I hate watching documentaries like that.

You won't feel sorry for him, though.

No, no.

I mean, enraged.

Wasted potential.

Yeah.

Like he could play hungover and still like.

slay the house down in the woods.

Imagine if he tried.

Imagine if he stayed sober and like worked out every morning and trained.

You know what it's giving?

That year Michael Phelps like stopped trying and Ryan Lochte kind of got his shine.

When Ryan Lochte, like, wasn't even that good, Michael Phelps was just sticking it up because he smoked pot one time, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That Michael Phelps pot thing was so funny.

And then they were like, it's Stevia.

Or not Stevia.

What do they call it?

Salvia.

Salvia.

It's like the Miley way out.

Miley, yeah.

That was like, that's one of my favorite like celebrity tropes.

Salvia.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, that is our show.

Final together, but not final of the week because tomorrow is Friday.

We'll be back.

Remote girly swirlies.

And that's fine.

Remote swirlies are still swirlies.

Thank you so much for listening to the windows of

Monday, Friday.

Have a great day, everyone.

Love ya.

Bye.