The Toasty Poets Department: Monday, April 22nd, 2024

Good morning millennials and welcome back to the toast happy Monday that feels like the Mondays Monday that ever lived.

It's so true because it kind of is even though this week is Passover.

Right.

And I'm sure you guys are feeling sad.

You climb into bed and you start feeling sad.

Suddenly you realize that the cell Passover, the girls might be celebrating and there might not be full toast this week.

But there is because we're together.

There is because we're together and we forgot to take off and we had added obligations.

We forgot to take off the days, but honestly if we were together anyways i might have added the shows back like if we're in your house i'm literally sleeping next door it's really it's not work no but it's it's blasphemous to be podcasting on passover but is that passover right now no not right now but you would think tomorrow there'd be no show but tomorrow there will be a show so your girls are and you know what it's also for the best because my god do we have things to do i literally created a like an outline for today's show do you want to see it outline for the pre-fast five yeah pre-fast five and then also my outline on ttpd thoughts because i didn't want to forget anything great i'm glad because that's obviously our first story of course so let's just go back to the last time we podcasted together we were getting ready for the toastiversary party and by the way i didn't even mention this last week because we had guest co-hosts i didn't want to be like you know promoting my little projects project even though they all would have understood because they're all creators and they're businesswomen and toasters and patrons yes um but we did drop the documentary of our toastiversary party.

And I do think in some ways it was different from a vlog because someone else was filming on it.

So there was like a lot of discourse here on the show about, you know, how Jackie kind of dropped the ball with finding a videographer, but we ended up vlogging it like our usual way, phones and all.

And let me tell you, I think it was our best work yet.

Like really, Jackie edited it.

Like, I don't know, we'll get into like where I was that last week, like why I couldn't do it, but Jackie literally had so much on her plate last week and still edited it.

It was so good.

People are lauding it.

It's like some of our best work yet.

It was really cute.

And I think because what made it a vlog documentary hybrid, we could call it a hybrid.

A vocumentary.

A vlogumentary.

It was a vlog because it was filmed on our phones.

It was a documentary because we had someone else like filming us as we walk through the party and everything.

And usually we're doing everything on selfie mode.

That's very vlog like.

Yes.

And other people were in it.

We did our, we fulfilled our lifelong dream of recreating our bot mitzvah videos where like this was like the trend back in the day.

Like if you grew up on Long Island and you had a bot mitzvah, the cameraman would like find all your friends and give them a microphone and be like, what do you want to wish Jackie on our special day?

And we had that with all of our guests.

And there's some real highlights in there.

Brian's in there, Taylor's in there, Simon, Dr.

Geezy's in there, Simon Huck is in there.

It's also a documentary because we had an external microphone.

Yeah, I brought my microphone.

So there is a lot and it was definitely a departure, an artistic departure from what we usually do.

And I really feel like you get a sense of like the vibe of the party.

And these are the people that we work with or like our closest friends and family.

And it was incredibly, I feel like a word that's kind of going by the wayside, steeny.

It was incredibly steeny.

What happened to the word steeny?

What happened to the steens?

It was incredibly.

It was also planey.

We were plany.

We were also plany Luke's.

You got to see it like a little bit behind the scenes of our partnership.

Yeah, that's right.

Our party was sponsored by Amazon.

Yeah, ever heard of it?

So it was just kind of amazing.

It was a small, small business.

I don't feel like you and I, even like on a personal level, recapped the party because the next day, like everything just went into trip traveling, my trip got canceled, which we'll get into.

Like, we didn't even get to recap the party.

For sure, except you did come over that morning while you booked your flights.

If you don't remember, they were going to the park.

Yeah, I do.

Yeah.

I remember.

And I had that croissant.

Yeah, but we were still, there was so much going on.

There was so much going on.

We really didn't get to properly recap.

Okay.

So what did you think of the party it was great i had so much fun i my full body like i needed an ice bath after i had like full body aches pains when i was going to bed that night it was like 1 a.m i was so tired but i couldn't fall asleep because my back hurt so much from dancing dancing and standing and meeting and greeting yeah but we were like dancing hard because it was incredibly steamy yeah we listened to the radius showman we listened to kelly clarkson awesome music we drank awesome shooters we pretty much spent the entire night soaking up each other's awesomeness that's the best way to describe it Jack and I both gave, you know, sort of impromptu toast that is also featured in the vlog.

We gave little speeches that are in the vlog.

Also, the party was at Zero Bond, which I know for you is like just a regular night at McDonald's.

Just sort of like a drop in the bucket at one of my local spots, yeah.

But for me and for people viewing, like that's an incredibly cool spot with a lot of history on this show included.

A lot of history.

That room we were in the, we rented like the private party room.

has been frequented by many an A-list celebrity, Kim and Taylor included.

I'm sure a lot of tortured poets department songs kind of took place at Zerobond.

It was an amazing party.

I loved it.

I can't wait to do it again next year.

We'll probably do like a proper big party again at 10 years.

Agreed.

So I'll start planning it now.

Okay.

I wouldn't do anything different.

No, me neither.

Just hopefully Amazon's on board again because we didn't have to do anything.

Like they planned everything.

And Birch worked with Amazon to like get the coolest, toastiest decor from Amazon.

All of it is shoppable in our storefronts.

Oh, and I didn't mention any of this.

Yeah, well, we made merch with part of like our sponsorship, which they were like so excited about.

So were we.

Amazon is like this merch on demand thing.

So we made tote bags, like celebratory tote bags that you can literally buy on Amazon.

And people like got them in like

Amazon.

Like they showed up like an hour later.

It was really crazy.

No, really like one day later.

And people are loving.

They say like, not to be weird, it's the best tote bag we've ever made.

Yeah, because also the inside is like lined with black.

So like if you've seen it, you know, no one knows.

So we had an amazing time.

But and you'll, if you watch the vlog, this might be repetitive.

As we were getting ready, you know, the Iranian regime striked, stroked.

They had a stroke.

They had a stroke and they attacked Israel and I was literally like leaving in 12 hours and all airspace was shut down and no commercial flights were going in or out and it was like really, really scary for a moment.

And the next, I had decided in that moment just to cancel my flight.

They've been saying like, what about Iran?

What about Iran?

I'm like, if you guys are knowing about it, like it's not happening.

It's fine.

And it's always like, what about Iran?

They've been saying they want to wipe Israel off the map forever.

So if you're always worried about Iran, like you'll never go.

And I just feel like we're always talking about Iran.

It's like all we talk about.

It's always all about Iran.

And that's hard for Jerdy.

Am I giving Iran?

No.

However, so I canceled my trip like immediately.

And the next day, like canceling my trip felt like such illusory thing to do.

Like, okay, like big, dumb, moronic American.

Like the people in Israel didn't give a fuck.

Like they're just kind of conditioned to it and they're so brave in the face of like such

existential threats.

Yeah.

And they just like go on with their lives.

There was like a, I saw a video of a flash mob the next day.

Like they're just unbothered.

They have this like zest for life.

And it's just so like canceling my trip because I'm afraid it's like so the opposite of everything they stand for.

But obviously everyone was like, you can't go.

And I agreed.

I agreed.

But I did feel like a big, big dopey loser.

Also, for a time, you canceled your trip because your flight was canceled.

Well, actually, my flight was never canceled.

The Israeli airspace was closed that night, but it reopened up in the morning and my flight was at 2.30 the next day.

So

I could have went.

And now in hindsight, like nothing happened this last week in Israel.

It was like kind of, I feel stupid for canceling it.

But in that moment, I feel like I made the right decision for me and my family.

And it was like, everyone was like, you're not going.

And I was like, okay, so I wasn't going.

I will go.

My trip is like going to be rescheduled.

But then I had taken off this whole week.

Jackie had done all this work to like book these, you know, kind of new.

different guest co-hosts.

And I was ready to come back to work.

I'm like, all right, Jackie, you know, cancel them.

The star is back.

And Jackie was like, take a hike.

I did all this work.

And it's fine.

Like, just-I didn't want to cancel on my co-hosts.

And I was excited to chit-chat with all of them.

So then I was like, And I had like, Shannon was coming to my house to say so.

I was like, certain, and like, Josh, I was excited to like, everyone, there was a reason, like, no, I'm not can't, I'm not canceling my friend Mary Orton because I would never do that to her.

MFMO.

Not canceling Lauren Elizabeth.

We have so much talk about certainly not canceling Stasi, the get of the century.

The get of the century, like on the heels of her new book announcement.

No, of course, of course.

But I found myself with a whole week off.

So Ben and I were just like, Ben also took off work.

He was coming to Israel with me.

We're like, all right, let's just like take a trip.

And then I'm like, okay, well, if I'm going to take a trip, I'm obviously only going to go to Florida where Jackie lives, but let me spend a few days like outside of your house.

So the next day, I just ended up flying to Miami.

Ben and I had like a couple of days in Miami.

We were in Miami from like Sunday to Thursday night.

And it was honestly delightful.

Low-key, Miami fucks.

I haven't been to Miami in forever.

You were there a year ago.

Okay.

I'm glad you brought that up.

Exactly a year ago.

Ben and I took a staycation a year ago to Bell Harbor, which like isn't Miami proper.

It's like a little bit different.

And I remember then being like, wow, I haven't been.

And then before that, I hadn't been to Miami in four years.

So in the last five years, I've been to Miami once.

Okay.

Calm down.

Let me tell you, it's a fabulous place.

Like, let me tell you, I don't know why I like, I used to go to Miami all the time and then I stopped going.

And I feel like it's just a really well-run city.

Like it's very clean.

Me and Ben were walking around at night during the day.

I didn't feel unsafe.

I don't come from New York where I'm like very critical of how things are run.

Yeah.

Because we're being run into the ground.

And I was just walking around seeing, they have these public gyms.

Me and Ben took these bikes.

Like, have I ever taken a bike in New York?

No.

We took like the equivalent of city bikes on the boardwalk and they have all these like gyms.

Do you know them?

No.

It's like how there's a playground.

There's a gym and people come and they take such good care of it.

It's like such a clean, I was really impressed.

I loved what I saw and I caught so much sun.

I'm sure you guys are noticing I'm just sort of like sun-kissed and gorgeous.

And I listened to the toast every day at the beach.

It was such a delight.

And I really

kind of have this new sort of joie de viv for Miami.

I'm so glad to hear that.

You should spend some time there.

Yeah.

It's not what you think.

That's the thing.

I used to go all the time and I would like club a lot and it reminded me of vegas and i was like so many different parts like i was actually there two weeks ago but i don't think i was where you were where were you i don't even know like you were suburban i was filming something oh yeah yeah yeah i was on set

yeah oh my god is this the morning model modeling so i really enjoyed having like a podcast to listen to every day which is i imagine how our listeners feel and so you're welcome um tell me everything i feel like i was really most excited there was a lot obviously the mary Orton of it all was really kind of triggering.

But I was really looking forward most to you and Josh Peck because, you know, me, you, Josh, and Ben are sort of like this group of friends slash nemeses.

But I think out of the four of us, like you and Josh are the least connected.

Right.

And I wouldn't even know if you guys like had ever had a conversation alone.

No, I don't think that we had.

What was it like?

Because the episode was fabulous.

It was great.

He's such a pro and we had such great conversations.

I was ready to spend the whole time like talking poorly about our respective co-hosts.

I thought that's what you were going to do.

I thought it was going to be like me talking about Claudia and him talking about Ben, but like he refused to say a negative word about Ben.

So I moved on quickly.

Let me tell you, those two have like a real friendship.

Like they talk on the phone.

And he said this on your episode that Ben hangs up the phone and says, love you.

Like they're literally family.

Yeah.

No, Ben, like Josh would never.

And Ben would never.

Ben would never.

Plus, he's also a parent.

And

you brought the parents out of everyone.

Oh, yeah.

Four out of five were parents.

And I also feel like Shannon is a mom because she's like so close.

Like she's like me.

You are to Shannon as like Taylor is to her neighbors.

Yeah.

So she loves hearing about mama things.

So it was actually really nice.

And I feel like all the mamas listening were really seen by all the combos because they were just like talking about classic, relatable things.

So that was

really fun.

And also Josh, you have to remember, like now he's a podcaster and just like friend of Toast, but he's also been a celebrity for so long.

Like he told me he turned down Dancing with the Stars.

Yes.

And the Met Gala, right?

And the Met Gala.

Yeah, he tells the Met Gala story on Good Guys a lot.

It's like, for him, it's like his thing.

It's him, it's me not getting in the cop car.

Like, it's his biggest regret.

It should be.

It should be.

Snubbed.

And who invited him?

Hillary Duff, right?

No, he was in a movie.

No, Hillary Duff is when he told that story and she was like shocked.

No, or Hillary Duff invited him to the Vanity Fair Oscar party and he either did or didn't go.

There's a story with Hillary Duff.

The story with Hillary Duff, he said, is when Hillary Duff was on their podcast, he told the Met Gala story.

Yes.

And she wasn't shocked.

But no, he said he did a movie that year that was like some like indie movie that was just like really cool and fuzzy and like the cast got invited.

Oh.

Also, what I didn't realize until later in the week is that Josh, you're gonna die.

Remember in the Toastiversary documentary when I was talking about the movie The Wedding Ringer, how the groomsman who rips up his speech then's like the word, that's Josh Peck.

But I didn't see that movie.

That's why.

The wedding ringer.

The Seven Heart, yes you did.

Bic, no.

Bic Mitchum, yes, you did.

No, no, I feel like I've seen that movie because you low-key reference it all the time.

It's so good.

However, I haven't.

Yeah, by the way, just push it back.

I can't.

And then like move the neck up.

Yeah, I think that'll help you a lot.

And Bruno, like, couldn't be more annoying.

No, Bruno's mommy's angel.

Look at him.

He was so, oh my God.

The thing about last week with guest co-hosts, everyone came who came through my house was taken with Bruno.

Yeah, he's got that spirit.

He was the star.

Oh, Bruno.

So who was on Tuesday?

Shannon.

Shannon, which just major drama, shingles, ever Shannon in the midst of like, which is terrible for Shannon, but amazing for our ratings.

ratings, in the midst of sort of this like global medical emergency.

I loved, loved getting a firsthand sort of narration from her.

Yeah.

And I was glad that I was able to provide support in any way that I could.

I hooked her up with Bracha from Hasty Meds and IV Drips.

And so that was a really great resource for her.

And we also had so much fun because I caught her like in between hematoma and shingles.

So we kind of took the town while she was here.

We had a really great time.

Wednesday was Mary Orton.

She also came to my house, was also taken by Brew.

Let me tell you something.

I listened to Mary Orton's episode and it was painful for me because this is a person I so deeply want to hate.

And actually, on a real level, I really appreciate that Mary Orton.

Like the toasters have, everyone's got a full in on the joke.

Like, I hate Mary Orton, huh?

I just want to say, I've never met Mary Orton.

She seems incredibly lovely.

We've been like DMing.

She came to the toast, like donated her time.

She was sent you a gift basket for your family.

Like, she seems like an amazing person.

And we've been sending like fake hate her way.

And I feel like some people would be like losery about it, but she's been like such a good social media.

She's such a class act.

And getting in on the fun.

And I just want to say, like, she's so good in my book, Mary Orton, that, you know what?

MFMO is fine by me.

As long as it's not MBFMO, my best friend, Mary Orton.

Well, just wait.

She comes to me.

One more gift basket.

One more.

Oh my God.

She sent something for everyone in our house.

Oh, no, it's like the dog.

Yeah.

And then the toasters just

like with the audio.

You guys, I listened to it.

The audio was

fine.

So she turns her head.

Get over it.

The thing is, like, it's so incredibly generous of people to come on this show.

Like, it's an hour of their time, especially Shannon came all the way.

Mary Orton came all the way.

She lives in Wisconsin.

And it's like really embarrassing if you're going to clown on people in the comments.

Like, do that in your own personal lives.

Don't do it on our platform.

That's not a place that you can do it.

No, seriously.

Even though I was embarrassed by you guys complaining about the audio and to everyone who was like, the audio is finally, she goes in and out because her face is moving because we're talking.

Yeah, no, like it's an embarrassment on us.

Like you make us look really bad.

So don't do that ever again.

Like it's really.

It was shameful, like some of the behavior.

And it was giving like old 2020 energy where people were.

Absolutely.

Former toaster energy.

it was giving um

mie mentally ill energy like just stop it really makes us look like it's embarrassing stop yeah she was amazing and by the way i love the episode you know i looked at her instagram when you first and i was like what in the world like i understood why you liked her aesthetically like could her home and her style and her everything be more beautiful but she has such a funny personality like very dry sense of humor wasn't expecting that from mfmo was just sort of expecting like this sort of class act you know mom businesswoman and like stylist what did she did she do like interior design or something?

Like on a personal level.

Right, right.

She was hysterical.

I loved the episode and I loved the gingham pan.

I don't think anybody's ever worn a gingham pan on the show.

No, but they should.

Not me.

No, I would get them.

You need a link.

I need a link.

And then who was Wednesday?

Lauren Elizabeth?

Lauren Elizabeth.

She's the girl.

Oh my God.

We had so much fun.

Who was fun?

Mary Horton.

Okay, yeah, sorry.

Sorry.

Lauren and I had so much fun.

We were podcasting forever and it was remote.

So it's just like huge files.

But I was like, fuck it.

Like I literally, so Lauren and I gave birth around the same time.

And like, I feel like we've been playing phone tag for the last few months.

We like catch up over text, but like we do a proper FaceTime for months now.

So we finally got that.

It was so funny to just like vent about mama things.

No, and I feel like the toasters really haven't heard from Lauren since she stopped doing her podcast.

And so much in her life has changed.

Like she really went from zero to 60, I feel so quickly.

She's so.

headfirst like into mom.

She's like, she's a mama.

There's a difference between a mom and a mama.

And she's a mama.

And it was so nice to hear from her.

I just love her.

Like she's one of my favorites.

No, we had so much fun.

And then on Friday, I podcasted with Stasi.

And I was so glad because all week, the Fast Five were really cramping my style.

And I wanted to do away with them.

And I'm like, no, like, this is the show.

And they were all weekdays.

So it was super busy.

But by Friday, I was like, there's nothing.

I just want to talk to Stasi and pick her brain about everything.

So we just had such a fun conversation.

Her new third book was just announced.

And it's all about like all the conversations we were having last week about like.

being a modern woman now and a mom and a working mom and but a full-time mom and just how do you balance it all and you kind kind of can't do all yeah so it was a really it was like a week of great conversations I love that you did away with the fast five because like in a week or two I forget when it is I'm going to LA for the 5k Jax is getting the week off I've booked some amazing people and I hate being beholden to like people who do pop culture because I'm going to get the same crop I want to just you know podcast with someone who's funny or interesting and so some of the days I'm not going to do the fast five and also because I'm in LA I'm trying to do them the day before so that I can get them out early and the day before stories, it doesn't work.

So you might get some episodes when Jax or I take some time off whenever.

I think we should get comfortable with guests, like not always being beholden to the fast five, especially if it's someone who's never been on or somebody who has a lot to say.

Like, I think it's depends on the stories that day also.

Like, of course, if there are stories, you're going to talk about them, but if there's not, you don't have to like make shit up.

And I love that you didn't get into TTPD without me.

I'm not going to lie.

Like when Stasi's episode was No Fast Five, I was like, you know what, good.

Like I need to be here.

And I'm also glad that I wasn't on because if Taylor at midnight, and you know, my ass fell asleep.

So I woke up on Friday morning.

Let's say I wake up, what, 830 to a double album, 31 songs.

And then I have to podcast and people be like, what are your favorites?

Give me your ranking.

I can't do that.

Now it's been three and a half days and I have something to say.

I've listened to the entire album multiple times.

I have favorites.

Now, of course, they're going to change.

And I'm sure if I watch this episode in a year, I won't agree.

But I have fully thought out thoughts.

Okay, great.

And I'm excited about it.

Is that next on your outline?

No, okay.

Toastiversary Israel.

I wanted to go through the co-hosts.

I love Miami, except

I lost my Kindle in Miami.

You didn't lose it.

You left it.

I left it at the hotel.

And such a crazy coincidence was Remy Bader happened to be staying at my hotel.

And it was so funny because I saw her TikTok.

And then I got there, I was like, hey, are you at the W in South Beach?

And she's like, yeah, are you?

I'm like, yeah, me and Ben are in lobby having dinner.

And she came and sat with us.

And she was there with her parents.

And I literally, like, it's a big hotel, but everywhere we went the next couple of days, we were with Remy.

Like we got beached.

That's what happens at a hotel.

Take a cruise.

We got, Ben said to, and Ben's mom, Ben said to Remy's mom, who was so funny.

He was like, I feel like we're on a cruise.

It's literally, Ben was in the pool with Remy and her mom.

I'm sitting next to Remy's dad at the pool.

We just couldn't stop seeing them.

And they're the people you meet on vacation.

We just embraced it, you know?

Yeah.

It was so fun.

But I left my Kindle and I texted Remy.

I'm like, will you go into my room?

I'll call the hotel.

I'm like, she got my Kindle.

So, and she's back in New York.

My Kindle is secure, but I don't have it here, which forced me very sadly to go to Barnes and Noble.

Not sadly.

We went to Barnes and Noble this weekend and it was

so amazing.

They don't have Barnes and Noble's like that where I'm from.

That's why we go to the bookstore a lot because it's really a feast for the eyes.

It was so great for the kids.

Yeah.

But also, obviously, like we love books, but I forgot like all the other things they sell.

Tchotchkis, games, stationery.

I didn't realize.

Barnes and Noble is also really a toy store.

Yeah.

The games, and for me, like I love board games.

I was overwhelmed by that section.

Games I had never heard of.

Honestly, we needed a shopping cart, not just a basket.

You should have seen us trying to carry everything.

The kids and the books and the wrapping paper and the toys and the books.

It was insane.

And I did snag the last copy of Girl With No Job, The Crazy, Beautiful Life of an Instagram Thirst Monster, my debut memoir, which is available wherever you get your books, but not at this local Barnes and Noble because they were like almost sold out.

I got the last copy.

From the humor section.

They'll have to order more.

Yeah, no, I was going to like, I didn't want to be obnoxious, but at the, and I didn't, I didn't want anyone to know it was me.

Even though it's her face on the cover and here she is.

My face looks so different.

True.

I wanted to just be like, oh.

I just want to tell you this was the last copy.

Maybe you guys should order more.

I think they have that on the back end, like when you check out.

But I just wanted to alert them to it.

It'll let them know it's sold out.

And then the last thing on my list.

Oh, so I got here on what?

Thursday night.

So Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

And I feel like every time I'm here on the Monday show, I give like a major shout out to the stay-at-home moms.

But I'm again feeling like even more

sort of impressed by them.

This weekend was amazing.

It was a lot of work, you know?

And, you know, I didn't even do it alone.

Yeah.

I just wanted to say to the stay-at-home moms out there, like, keep your heads up.

It's going to be okay.

Love you dearly.

Amisra Khai.

Yeah.

It was, it was amazing, but it was a lot.

Yeah, it was.

It was amazing.

So like lifelong memories, core memories made.

You agree?

Yeah.

No, that's what it is.

It's high, high.

It's like a lot of everything, a lot of good, a lot of work.

That's what I was saying to Lord and Elizabeth.

It's like, I wouldn't say things are easy, but I would say that they are, things are a lot of other things that I, that they weren't when things were easy.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Easy, things ago, happy, full of love.

Like when my days were easy, I wouldn't say they were full and joyful and full of love.

I was just like sitting in bed watching TV.

Also good.

Good.

Easy.

Different.

Yeah.

But not everything else that a full day with the children brings.

I definitely feel full.

I feel, you know, like my back hurts.

Oh, and I feel full body sore because I've really taken my running up to the next level.

I feel like when I was in Miami, I really committed to my fitness and I did all my runs for the week outside.

And so last week I ran five.

times outside, which is just a lot for me.

I still haven't run the full 5K.

I'm like working myself up.

Like, I think I got to 2.8.

I'm going to run again today, but that's also why I feel weary.

I can't blame the kids.

It's also like my physical fitness that's taking a toll on my body.

That's good, but ultimately will make you stronger.

So I can pick the kids up, you know, for an eternity.

Mm-hmm.

So I feel properly caught up.

Anything else?

I feel like I talk the whole time.

No, not much else.

I saw you guys on Friday and this weekend was

good, clean, fun.

Yeah.

We need to talk about one more thing.

What?

Bruno?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

So on Thursday night.

Let me tell you guys my experience, okay?

Me and Ben get to the house.

We're so excited.

I like run in, seriously, like Harry's having dinner and I just like attack him.

And Bruno was like at my leg.

I can't even give him a notice yet.

Like I'm really working on Harry.

And I'm finally like, man, Bruno.

And I'm shocked at what I see at my leg because from my point of view,

Bruno has doubled in size.

I'm like, they're killing him.

They are killing him.

He's, to me, he looked like a hog.

I'm like, Ben, do you see this?

He's like, oh, my God.

And then Ben picked him up.

He's like, holy shit.

And you guys have been traveling a lot.

And I know Bruno spent some time at his neighbors who he loves.

I'm like, you know, maybe Bruno's fitness and diet routine fell off.

That happened to Theo like a lot when we would send him to his grandparents.

His grandparents were always giving him special treats.

And he came back like a big fetzel.

So I was like, okay, that's obviously what's happened.

And I'm just shocked at this point.

And I'm concerned because, you know, we know a lot about the breed and they're.

They have to stay fit or else it takes years off their life.

Like they have

aesthetic.

It's not aesthetic at all.

Like when I see fat cavaliers on the street, it makes me sad.

It takes years off their life.

So I say to Zach, I'm like, you weren't home or you were podcasting with Sasse.

I say, Zach,

I'm not going.

This is, this is not okay.

And he's dumbfounded.

He's like, you're insane.

Yeah.

But it's hard to see it when it's your own dog.

And it immediately came to mind when you told me, you came to my house one time for Shabbat, like when you still lived in New York and you were like, Theo is obese.

And I'm like, literally, what are you talking about?

I'm just like, Theo's really big.

Or I would always tell you when I thought he looked big.

I was always like taking him for runs or stuff.

So then I come down from podcasting.

She's like, Jackie, how could you not tell me what's been going on?

Bruno is so big.

And I like, I know people can't see it in their own dogs, but I'm always worried that Bruno is big.

Like I'm always looking at him like that, but still maybe I've lost perspective.

I'm like, he is like, he looks great to me.

They were like, how much does he weigh?

I'm like, well, he's, I haven't weighed him in a while, but his standard weight is 18 pounds.

So me and Ben were like, okay, he's 23 to 25 pounds now, which obviously like four or five pounds doesn't sound like a lot, but on a ton of dogs.

It's 30% of his weight.

I'm like, Jackie's like, I'll go weigh him.

I'm like, he's going to weigh 25 pounds.

And as we're walking to the bathroom, I'm like, wait, I'm like, I think you guys are just bugged out by his size because you've been with Romeo and who's so, so tiny and so light.

You pick up Romeo versus you pick up Brew.

Like, I think you just have lost perspective, but okay, I'll go and weigh him for you.

We were like, no, that's not it.

So we all go into my bathroom.

I weigh Bruno 18 pounds on the dot.

On the dot.

And like, to me, that was really crazy.

Because it was the convergence of like reality numbers.

Like, you can't

with what I'm like what I'm seeing.

and I still can't really explain I'm not ready to concede that I was wrong and I don't believe Romeo was a part of the problem No, it's literally you're used to picking up Romeo.

No, I don't think so.

No, that's that's exactly what it is

They're even go so far as to say like 80 pounds isn't his standard weight like check his record like yeah He used to weigh 12.

Yeah, no But like I know it's 18 because it's always like a milestone when the babies are bigger than Bruno.

Oh, that's cute.

So I always do keep that number in mind.

Yeah.

No, I believe you I believe it's just like it's crazy when your your eyes and ears are just not agreeing with one another, you know?

Oh my God.

She made such a thing about it.

And I'm like, my boy is handsome as ever.

And your boy has really, like, we've been spending a lot of time together.

When I was still convinced that he was obese, I took him with me on my run.

He loved it.

I feel free to take him.

We've been, yeah, I got a, on Amazon, I got a hands-free leash.

You like wear it like a belt.

So I'll bring him today on my run.

We've been spending a lot of time together and he's really been bringing me a lot of joy.

He reminds me so much of my baby boy Theo.

And he's really stepped up to the plate as like the patriarch, the canine patriarch of the family, like since CO has passed, because before that, like he was on his puppy shit, like he was just little brother energy.

He grew up overnight.

And now he's, he recognized that there were shoot paws to fill.

No, and he's bringing me so much joy.

And I think

he's bringing me the joy I think I thought I would feel with Tromeo.

Now, I posted on my Instagram that, you know, Bruno reminds me so much of Theo and I'm like loving spending time with him.

And everybody's like, well, don't you have your dog?

What about Romeo?

Where's Romeo?

When I was going to Israel, Romeo was already scheduled to spend some time in his favorite place, dog-friendly living, where she trains him and boards him and just where he behaves, where he has the time of his life.

Yeah,

and

I decided to keep that because he needed the training, like the biting and the shitting in my house was not going to work for me.

Now, I do really miss him.

I do.

I was thinking about him a lot last night, especially here now that you're here.

But what's he going to do?

Go to the W?

I know, I know, especially on the heels of, you know, two days ago, which was Theo's, should have been Theo's seventh birthday.

I don't want to get into it.

Um,

but yeah, Tromeo's not bringing me that sort of energy that Bruno has been bringing me this week.

That's what I'll say.

Yeah, because he's in his lapdog era, whereas Romeo's not.

And Bruno wasn't for a while.

Bruno was a real, like, high-energy pup for many, many years.

Yeah.

Is Magnolia in town?

No, Magnolia was also...

Magnolia's with Romeo.

Actually, I feel like Magnolia's at Emily's.

I don't know where Moonlight is.

Close your ears, Bruno.

Las Nolias is not here.

Close your ears.

I don't know why.

Margo's like always bringing Las Nolias everywhere.

She's actually really good about that.

Yeah, and Bruno would love to see her.

Yeah.

We'll have to follow up.

Margo's here.

Very exciting.

The whole family, you know, doing Pesach together.

Let my people go,

which really couldn't be more on point, more ever-present.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

History repeats itself.

Let our people go.

The hundreds of hostages laying in Gaza.

Yeah, I actually saw a really interesting post.

It was about the day that Iran sent all those missiles, like over 300 drones and missiles, like, you know, meant to kill thousands of Israelis and jewish people um and they were all shot down by the iron dome defense system and also by neighboring countries who all stood up to help right and i feel like people kind of take that for granted like oh israel has the iron dome so like missiles can't touch them but i read a post that said like the

the odds that the entire defense system which is like run from multiple like outposts in the country worked perfectly and in tandem and like shot and there there was one that landed

um no and or like they were rerouted to like areas that don't have like people living there.

The odds that that happened are so slim.

Like it's miraculous.

Similar to the miracle of Passover when the Red Sea split.

And I feel like people are just, oh, well, they sent drones, but they didn't hit them.

No, look, those drones were

meant to kill and meant to overwhelm the defense system, but it works so well, not because it's perfect, but because it was a miracle.

No, I thought you were going to reference, I like what you said, but a tweet that I saw that was really interesting.

It's like the Iron Droman, for those who don't know, is this sort of

next level defense system that Israel has.

It's what's kept Israel from being eradicated by all their enemies for many, many years.

And every time.

Because hundreds and thousands of rockets are even sent from Gaza every single day into Israel, and they are intercepted by the Iron Dome.

So they don't have the intended effect that Hamas is intending for them to have.

But if they did, like...

Right.

So a lot of the attacks that Israel receives are thwarted by this Iron Dome.

So like literally, I imagine it's millions of lives every year, given the amount that they're attacked in different stages of, you know, wars and stuff.

But every, you know, attack is meant to kill someone, but the fact that it isn't is because of the Iron Dome.

And so the Iron Dome is obviously this amazing technical marvel.

But it also gives, you know, people who don't support Israel and anti-Semites this sort of comfort in, because less people die because of it.

And so like they don't ever actually have to theorize that those hundreds of drones were supposed to kill thousands and thousands of people.

They didn't, but they were intended to.

But people don't think that way because they don't.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

So it just allows like a more comfortable anti-Israel stance because you don't ever have to theorize those things coming true because of this amazing defense system.

I thought that's the tweet you were referencing, which I really liked as well.

Yeah, also very true.

And also then it's like Israel gets a lot of aid money and they use it towards building systems like that.

Whereas in Gaza, Hamas takes all the aid and they use it to build tunnels and dig up pipes and use the pipes that are meant to give water to people, use those to make rockets to shoot into Israel.

So that's where they're spending their money.

And Israel has this amazing defense system because that's where they prioritized their money.

So, you know, correct.

It's all about priorities, man.

And my priority is just to deliver the best show.

And we've dilly dallied for 32 minutes.

Oh, it felt longer.

No, and like we were going into Israel.

Like, what?

We could do another 32 on that, you know?

So I feel like we got to get to TTPD.

How are the other stories like irrelevant?

Fine.

Okay.

Fine.

Fun fodder.

And it'll be fun to talk about after TTPD.

So without further ado, the Fast Five stories today are here.

And they are brought to you by L'Oreal Paris.

So L'Oreal Paris Lash Paradise Mascara is a new sponsor of today's show.

I happen to love this mascara.

I bought it many, many moons ago.

I think somebody recommended it to me on TikTok.

It gives so much volume and length.

It's really perfect for a done-up eye look.

And I don't know, I'm just not into this like, oh, clean girl, no makeup.

Like I need makeup.

My lashes are not giving most of the time.

I can't just roll out of bed and not put on mascara.

And it's really, I'm very particular about mascara.

So the lash paradise from L'Oreal is the staple for the trending looks of, you know, mob wife.

If you want want a sultry lash, bold eye look, we need more of a cat eye moment.

The intense volume and length of Lash Paradise gives luxe level lashes.

The fluffy bristle brush gives fuller looking lashes instantly.

It is the perfect mascara and lash look for day and tonight.

It lasts all day.

I've personally never been the type of person who can or wants to wear fake eyelashes.

I love the look on other people.

I can't administer them myself, certainly not daily.

So finding a really great mascara that can give that sort of look is really important.

So drop the falsies.

Lash Paradise mascara gives you all the drama for your lashes.

You can order Lash Paradise Now on Amazon, which is fabulous.

I am wearing it today.

You might say, oh, Turdy, you're looking so gorgeous.

It's the Lash Paradise Mascara from L'Oreal Paris.

It gives tons of volume and length.

So if you're looking for your next great mascara, check out the Lash Paradise Now on Amazon.

You can purchase it.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Mary and George, our new favorite show on stars.

So Mary and George is a starz original inspired by the story of Mary Villiers, who molded her beautiful and charismatic son, George, to seduce King James I and become his all-powerful lover.

Through outrageous scheming, the pair rose from humble beginnings to become the richest, most titled, and influential players the English court has ever seen.

I love this, like random stories from history you might not have heard of coming to you, you know, live and in a television show.

We love this one is star-studded.

It is so good.

Julianne Moore and Nicholas Gallatin star on the show.

Critics are calling it sexy, witty, darkly rewarding.

You can watch Mary and George only on Starz and the Starz app.

You know, we love a period piece, especially a period piece.

I I feel like when we're reading books and watching TV shows, learning about moments that we are not, you know, educated on yet.

And I had not heard of this story until the show came out.

And I'm loving it.

We are obsessed with period pieces.

Mary is played by Julianne Moore.

And Mary pretty much has nothing to her name, but she's desperate to elevate her social standing.

And that sort of narrative really related to me on a personal level.

You can watch now on Stars and in the Stars app.

Nicholas Galaxy and Julianne Moore, you're going to love it.

It's See Me, it's Sexy.

It's just really interesting.

It's really, really well well done.

So watch now on Stars and the Stars app.

That is Mary and George starring Julianne Moore and Nicholas Galatzine.

You can watch now on Stars and the Stars app.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Sachs.com.

Jackson and I have decided we are just saying yes to warm weather this year and stepping up our wardrobe with the help of Sachs.com.

Everyone knows that Sachs.com is the place to shop.

I just placed the biggest order.

I feel like all the things coming up that I have like LA week, I feel like I have a lot of weddings this summer.

I can't look forward to things until I have something to wear.

Once I know what I'm wearing and I like what I'm wearing, I'm like, oh, this will be so fun.

But until then, I kind of dread it.

So I just placed a huge order at Sachs.com.

They make it so easy to shop for like specific things.

Like if you're going on vacation, they have a vacation edit, festival edit, stagecoach is coming up.

You guys might need those outfits.

They make it easy for us to get a jump into spring and summer fashion trends as we approach the warmer seasons.

So whether you're looking for some new boots for Stagecoach, beachwear, you're going to St.

Bart's, new activewear, perhaps you're running a 5K, they've got it all at Sachs.com.

Sachs.com is super fun and easy to shop on with with brands that we love like Stodd, Lueve, Favorite Daughter.

Sax also does a great job of finding up and coming designers so you can hop onto new trends before everyone else.

I actually just bought a great, I don't know if I told you this, like sort of investment piece, a belt, a Lueve belt.

I got it from Sachs.com.

I could have bought it anywhere, but I wanted to buy it on Sachs.com because I was like placing a big order.

And it's kind of fabulous.

I saw Emily wearing it and I was like, oh, let me get me one of those.

So I just got the Louve belt.

You guys know I got my Eristor outfit from there.

I got a ton of my stagecoach outfits last year from them.

and now with all these things coming up a lot of the loops i'll be wearing in la i also got from sax.com so with different curated shops like spring wedding guest it girl closet designer shop and date night sax.com makes it easy for you to find exactly what you're looking for you can find anything from a cozy vibe to a more elevated look at sax.com discover new ways to shop for everything every day at sax.com that's s-a-k-s.com Thank you, Claudia.

Yeah, well, yes.

So our first story is tortured poets, department, society.

I have now officially started saying it correctly.

Like like now that it's out and everyone's saying TTPD like TTPD now I'm able to say it the way that I feel today is like you know when you have nightmares that like you are still in college and there's a test and you didn't study for it and you're cramming like that was literally me this morning there's so much homework like this whole album I started it on Friday we were listening in the car like running errands and it was just like not the way I wanted to listen to it I need to want I'm driving like I need to focus on the road Harris just like play Cookie Monster I'm trying to decode lyrics like it's not happening.

And so this morning while I got ready, but I didn't have like a morning of getting ready this weekend because we were just, you know, being wholesome.

This morning while I got ready, I listened to more of it.

But still, I feel like I showed up to class, my dog ate my homework and I feel seriously overwhelmed.

Can I tell you also why you might be a little bit behind?

Cause I feel like I listened to the album a couple times through, but a lot of like the, the research and sort of like hooks getting stuck in my head is because it's all over TikTok and it probably hasn't made it to reels yet.

So anytime I was like on my phone, not listening to the album, but scrolling TikTok, I was learning.

I was learning the choruses were getting stuck in your head.

Yeah.

And I feel like it's actually really shaped my favorites because those are the ones going viral on TikTok.

And I will say with an album this long, I've probably listened to it in full maybe three times, but I keep starting from the beginning.

So I really know the first half much better than I know the second half.

So it's making me inclined to say the first half is better.

And those were the songs that we knew she was going to release.

That was the track list that she released.

Yeah, but it turned out to be a double album.

31 songs.

And I think the big sort of surprise, not that it was a double album, is that actually a relevant Joe is like not even in it.

It's really about Maddie Healy.

Yeah, he's the tortured poet.

Yes, yes.

And okay, question mark.

I've thought a lot about, and I've learned a lot too.

Like I'm a big Taylor stan, but there are eras of her like dating, like even still learning new things about her dating history.

Like I just found out she dated Corey Monteith and I feel like maybe I knew that, maybe I didn't.

So I didn't know a ton about the Maddie Healy background.

And so so yeah, she dated him after Joe for like a week and she wrote a whole album.

Question mark.

It's so much more than that.

This is now the third time they've dated.

And she kind of goes back to him periodically after Calvin Harris, after Harry Styles, and now after Joe Alwyn.

And I think he's sort of this thread through her life.

And that's also what the album's about a lot, not just this one week period where they were at Casa Cipriani.

Got it.

Also, it turns out Cardigan is about him.

And she did say that at one of her shows, but now it makes sense.

Like, I'm an old cardigan under your bed.

You put me on and said I was your favorite.

And then I guess you like put me under the the bed again.

No, and like, okay, Joe Alwyn is really not that interesting as a person.

I couldn't see him being a tortured poet.

Like, I think, you know, Mattah Healy is just sort of self-destructive.

He is, you know, and she references it a lot.

And I think fans of his know his struggle with addiction, but she talks a lot about pills and heroin.

Like it is.

a thing.

And so that gives you more fodder.

You know, you love someone with an addiction and it makes it difficult and you could write more songs about that.

Yeah, I think the end of her and Joe's relationship like isn't all that interesting.

It's just like sad and it was time wasted and he like couldn't give her what she wanted.

And I also think,

because a lot of people are, you know, noting, and I agree, a lot, there's a lot of anger in this album.

And

the thing, I, what, what, what we sort of learned from Taylor is that Joe didn't want to get married.

And that was like a big thing.

And Joe, I wouldn't marry me either, a pathological people pleaser.

So

does that mean he didn't want to get married or not married to her?

Because

those are two separate things.

Yeah.

But this is a person she dated for six years.

And I think

it's the most serious relationship she's ever had.

And I think she's not going to treat it how she's treated other relationships in terms of her songwriting.

I think, honestly,

it's more like respectful to Joe, which makes sense.

Like this was her longest.

It's basically like a marriage, six years.

Maddie is this sort of...

And also Joe Owens like not famous.

Like she made him famous.

Maddie I feel he's like famous on his own.

It's like different to like put someone at the center of the spotlight.

Like I know he like acts and stuff, but he's literally famous.

And he's like a private person.

It is worse crime is just like wanting to be in a private relationship.

Actually,

it's sort of now through lyrics and things, it's sort of now confirmed that Joe cheated on her in Florida.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

But like, this is all like fan speculation.

Like none of this is confirmed.

Yeah.

But the thing is, I feel like this album, and she's always been pretty literal and metaphorical at the same time, but not literal.

I feel like this album is so literal.

She wants us to know everything.

I woke up.

You were standing there.

I'm looking at you.

You said, I don't like you.

Like just so minute by minute.

And I think that's the anger.

Like she wants everyone to know what she's talking about.

So if Joe cheated on her, like

it wouldn't be

unclear, I feel.

And there are different lists floating around.

And don't take everything I say as gospel.

People are interpreting it differently.

If he did cheat on her, I think this would be a slam out.

It would be more, because then you have something like negative to say.

And I feel like when you date with some of these other guys, like Maddie Healy, it's like you date for a few weeks and then you see who they really are.

And it's like, oh, you're a monster.

Okay, cool.

When you date from someone for six years, like you know who they are.

So if it doesn't work out, it's not because they weren't who you thought they were.

It's just because it didn't work out.

Yes.

Yes.

Another thing is what we didn't think we were going to get is we got a few, not a lot, Travis songs.

So high school is clearly about Travis.

I know you ball, I know Aristotle.

Like literally so literal.

So you play Grand Theft Auto with your friends.

Like I'm sitting there watching you and your friends like yeah it's very literal not often for interpretation she wants us to know especially with certain songs like thank you amy where the letters k i and m are all um capitalized there's certain things she wants us to know honestly thank you amy needs to be its own story maybe i'll kick something out of the fast fire sure sure because i have a whole theory on it and i won't get into it then if you would like just table it let's talk about the relationships first and then we'll see where the clock's at um

now In terms of the album, I can't say, you know, where it ranks in any of my things yet.

I haven't lived with it long enough.

It's very long.

And I'm at the place now where I feel like it could have been edited slightly, but perhaps in a few months, once I know all the songs, I'd be like, not a single song could have been left off.

What's funny is I feel like it could have been edited slightly.

Sure.

It's a lot.

And I just feel overwhelmed because I, like, cause I feel left behind because I don't have the time to listen to all of it.

And everyone like has all these thoughts.

This one, you know, is pussy popping.

No, so I, so it's also coming from, I feel like she should have edited it because of

for me.

because I can't listen to all of it and I feel a little left out.

But then I feel the way of like, when I listen to 1989 vault tracks, I'm like, why the fuck weren't these on the album?

So that was this tweet that I saw that was like, you know, Taylor like had so much success with her vault tracks.

She's not leaving anything.

Crazy Swifties, that was me saying, I don't feel the way that she should have edited it because in the past, I feel like I wanted more.

Okay.

And so I feel like that critic who has to, who wrote under anonymous, someone, I guess, wrote like a not appraising review review of her album and they were anonymous because they didn't want to deal with the harassment.

Now, I feel like the album is really long.

And you know,

by the way, crazy swifties.

I haven't made a criticism.

Crazy Swifties, okay?

Did I make a criticism?

You didn't.

You've been like highly complimenting.

You can't really criticize them.

You low-key haven't listened to me.

No, exactly.

So the album is very

long.

And I think it's also very, you know, emotional.

There's anger, there's sadness, there's pussy popping.

And a lot of people are talking about album of the year.

This has like been an amazing year for music.

Ariana's new album.

So many people have an album.

Cowboy Carter.

Cowboy Carter.

How does this play into that?

And you can't say yet.

You really need more time with it.

But I have have to say like i don't feel like taylor sat down wanting to write the album of the year sometimes you know when she sat down to write 1989 when she sat down to write wrote midnight she was like i'm here to prove something people think this about me i'm gonna give them this like you can tell i feel like this was just sort of this like emotional thing where think about all the things that happened like the ending of joe the maddie which was obviously way more chaotic and toxic than any of us knew and had this long history And then Travis.

Like there were so many.

And I feel like she just sort of like threw up.

That's her way of processing it.

Herbal diarrhea.

And she just needed to get it out you know i also think she needed to build a bridge to whatever's coming next and it needed to it be very explanatory which it really is because i think not to talk about her next era when she's just dropped 31 songs but i'm sure she's already written it yeah and it's done but like from where she left us what from midnight to whatever's the future like with travis it's a lot has happened and i think a lot has happened for her emotionally that like this album is just i'm letting it all out there it's a bridge i do always think in the back of her mind she's you know she's not not thinking about Album of the Year, but like, that's not why she does those things.

And I wonder if you make a really long album, if it helps you or hurts you.

I don't know.

But like, but I also think Ariana's album is a little too short for Album of the Year.

I agree.

I completely agree.

Honestly, like, give it to Cabby Carter.

Like, for real.

That one was long too, though, but.

It was, but not as long as it is.

Not as long as this.

And like, there were some songs on there that were like, it wasn't a song.

It was like an interlude.

It was like 30 seconds.

Interlude.

So,

wait, I had one more thing I wanted to say.

Yes, I also really hope and pray like when we got lover which i feel like at the time was criminally underrated and really has become one of my favorites it was this sort of pop happy joyful and i feel like she wants to write that about travis but she kind of has to like let this diarrhea out like all the things maddie joe everything um that's ttpd and it's very emotional and it's very dense and it's very poetic and it's somber it gives I wouldn't I didn't know what we were getting.

This feels, and people are saying it's Woodvale.

Everybody thought there was, everybody thought there was a third album after folklore Evermore, that it was three sister albums and she like never released it.

There's a whole theory on it, whatever.

This does feel like the third and final part of that chapter.

Unintentionally, it's not like this is Woodville that she's sitting on because this happened like after those albums were released.

But yes, I was feeling reminded of Folklore and Evermore, where again, that's kind of a double album.

And again, I love the songs and they're all really pretty.

I did also feel overwhelmed.

Oh, I didn't.

Well, because she put it out in two parts and I didn't have children yet.

So it was better.

And now I'm just like, well, damn.

Yeah.

Damn, damn, damn.

We also need to talk about Charlie Pooth.

Right.

So there was a line and it actually had got leaked.

And I saw it on Twitter.

I'm like, there's literally no way.

Oh, yeah.

And also a lot of you listened to the leaked.

And so you had did your homework early because you saw the test before the teacher gave it.

And so you were copying the test.

Right.

So you're kind of like Taylor Swift.

Taylor Swift puts a lot of like big thoughts and ideas into the songwriting of a high school.

So, and like, that's how she brought like Miss American and the Heartbreak Prince.

People are always like, why is she writing about high school?

It's like, it's not about high school.

She's just putting it in those sort of metaphors.

That's literally what you're doing.

Larger.

Yeah.

Charlie Pooth.

So this line had been leaked.

And I'm like, there's literally no way.

The line was,

you smoked and had seven bars of chocolate.

We declared Charlie Pooth should be a bigger artist.

And I'm like, there's no way.

And then it was.

What song is that on?

TTPD, which I actually really like.

That one's clearly about Maddie.

Now.

Does Taylor think Charlie Pooth should be a bigger artist?

Or is that only the thought a high person?

Like, is it insulting to Charlie Pooth or complimentary?

And hashtag, has Charlie Pooth responded?

I think you would know if he did.

He must be freaking out.

Yeah.

I think it was complimentary.

I don't think it was, I don't think she would punch down like that.

It's really mean.

Unless she has a beef, unless like she knows like Charlie Pooth said something mean about her one time and she like really hates him.

Oh, no, but still, you know, then it would be like capital C, capital H.

I think it was meant to be a compliment.

Like I think when you're really high, you have like these realizations that you think are brilliant.

No, and Charlie Pooth, like, I despise.

Actually, I will say, I either blocked him on TikTok or he stopped posting on TikTok.

His, I don't have like as much of a dislike for him as one, at one point, it was just prevalent everywhere.

Like, he, maybe he's taking a break, or I literally blocked him on social media, and so I forgot about him.

Um,

where was I going with this hot?

Charlie Poobs.

Right.

I understand the actual line.

Like, he is this sort of once-in-a-generation talent in terms of he has one of these rare people who has perfect pitch.

He can name any note.

He's sort of this musical prodigy.

So I know what she's saying, actually.

Like the line actually makes sense, but it was kind of crazy to hear.

It was crazy to hear it.

But again, so literal.

So literal.

Yeah, right.

Every conversation they've ever, like they've had, I'm hearing about it.

Yeah.

Also, there is a song.

It's the first song after her track list ended.

Like,

okay.

And it was, um, I'm going to get you back.

Now, I hate to compare my queens, but

not stylistically, but just in terms of the message of the song, it's almost identical to get you back by Olivia Rodrigo.

It's the concept of, I want to get someone back in a revenge type of way, but also in a romantic, I want to get him back.

What do I do?

I want to get him back.

Or, I want to get him back.

What do I?

And so she's talking about getting someone back romantically, but also like, you know, keying their car.

And it's incredibly similar.

Interesting.

Do you feel like that was Taylor, you know, swinging back at Olivia?

I have this thing.

I think these two fucking hate each other.

There's definitely beef, but I don't think she would

swing back with the same crime that she literally sued Olivia over.

Right, right, right, right, right.

Like the grudge on guts, people think is about Taylor Swift.

Interesting.

I don't know what the,

I don't know what the intention is there.

So for those asking, I will give you my top songs right now.

It's obviously subject to change.

Oh, we didn't even talk about the only collab is Fortnite.

Right.

I was going to go through each song and if you just want to tell me like I might not have enough to say not what your thoughts on it like what people are saying about it in terms of what it means like oh honestly i'm not there yet with my research like i don't know or not even people like what the lyrics are saying no like i don't know i don't like if you name me haven't even talked about smallest man that ever lived okay fine you can go but i'm not i'm really not familiar okay first fortnight with post malone is like the single and the lead and the music video we got um two things to note of that first is that Everyone's like kind of freaking Post Malone looked really handsome.

He had all his tattoos covered up.

He was wearing like a trench coat and he just looked totally kind of the opposite of his aesthetic, which is grungy, you know and people were like okay people were really into it um also

she has tattoos on her face in some of the album art she's in the music video art she has his tattoos like the same exact ones um there's also a lot of visual parallels to a 1975 music video it's like almost identical so this is like very clearly okay i happen to love this song it's also the lead single so it's the one we'll be hearing on the radio it'll be everywhere in due time okay cool and that's on my list of favorites great tortured poets department love that's the charlie booth line um that's obviously about Maddie Healy, and I really like it too.

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys.

Not on my favorites list.

Neither was TTP.

Oh, no, TTPD was on my favorite.

No, it wasn't actually.

Oh, but you said you really liked it.

I do really like it.

My boy only breaks his favorite toys is not one of my favorites, but also I don't know it yet.

I can't stop singing these songs as our guesses.

I know.

I was down bad.

You were so bad.

So sad.

Down bad.

I believe Maddie Healy.

I don't know.

I don't know.

So long London, the sad one, track five.

The thing is, is like

Maddie and Joe are both British.

Like, and, but London has sort of been this Joe Alwyn character, London boy.

So I think it's safe to say, and it's such a sad, sad song.

And that's how you, that's how you would write about the ending of a six-year relationship.

She, she's like

desperate sounding.

Like, I think that's Joe.

But daddy, I love him.

Okay, so that, I love this song for a while.

It's on my number one.

I'm obsessed with it.

That's a TikTok I made you film with me yesterday.

Yeah.

And the one she said she's pregnant, you should see her faces.

People are saying she's breaking the fourth wall.

Okay, so this song, a lot of people are interpreting as a kind of direct conversation with some of her mentally ill fans.

Like when she was dating Maddie, there was like an open letter and people are burning their posters.

And it's like, there's a line in there.

It's like, it's my name to ruin, not yours.

Like, it's very much like, fuck off, let me live.

Like, you enjoy my music.

That's amazing.

You having any sort of commentary on how I live my life is delusional.

Like, it's really, I feel like it's a statement on, you know, toxic stanhood, but I could just be interpreting it that way.

When I listened to it, I felt, and I don't think this album has a lot of it, but I felt like it was more just kind of,

you know, when she was singing songs about like other situations.

Yeah, folklore and Evermore are very much like she watched a movie or a book and wrote about that love story.

It was no reflection on a personal experience.

I feel like she was talking about a relationship where you just like saw so caught up in someone and then just kind of like, went running with it.

Like if they lived in a small town, like how it would be.

So I don't agree because I feel like when she was writing folklore in Evermore romantically, there was not much going on in her life.

It was sort of this like peaceful, there's not a lot to write about when you're just like in a really long-term happy relationship.

With all that's went on, I don't think there's one song on this album that isn't about a personal experience, like for real.

No, I agree with what you're saying.

I'm just, I feel like it's about her personal experience, but then her just like kind of going off with it.

Like if they were in a small town, I love that the way that she thought about this person, like placing it in a different time and place.

So the Swiftsies have pretty much like come to the conclusion that like this song is a direct like hit towards like the toxic fans, but I like your interpretation too.

Okay.

Then Fresh Out the Slammer.

Yeah.

I feel like that's one I like can't remember how it sounds right now, you know?

No, but it's like about rebounding with

Maddie.

Right, right, right, right, right.

Florida.

So there's like a lot of Florida in

Fortnite, there's a Florida reference.

Destined, Florida.

What the hell happened?

That's why people think Joe cheated on her in Florida.

Yeah.

Why would Joe from London be in Destin?

No offense to Destin.

It's a lovely place, but it's very weird.

And who has a timeshare?

No, I don't know.

Whose timeshare is it?

No, and like timeshare, rich people don't have timeshares.

Yeah.

I don't know.

That's why it's, I don't think it's so literal.

Right, right, right.

Guilty as sin?

Question mark.

Honestly, like if you played it for me, I wouldn't recognize it.

But that doesn't mean it's bad.

I just haven't like, it hasn't hit my TikTok yet.

TikTok has completely influenced my, my, my likes and my dislikes.

I don't even dislike anything.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Oh my God, you're just...

I know.

I'm so frightened.

You know, this, we're operating out of fear.

Yeah.

Who's afraid of little me?

Crowd.

Top two.

Yeah.

Top two.

I love this song so much.

Like, it's brilliant.

Yeah.

I can fix him.

No, really, I can.

And I've listened to all these, but only once.

Like, I can't really.

I can't.

They've all been pleasant to listen to.

I didn't skip any.

I didn't.

I'm not remembering much.

Yeah.

Llamo, love of my life.

Life.

I was your wife till you took a knife

to my chest.

Charity's version.

This is a really sad song.

Like, and it's like love of my life and then loss of my life.

It's really sad.

Because that's one of the big themes.

And that statue, I've only seen a few things, as you can tell, that I keep harving on.

You know, the statue that crumbled.

Yeah.

And so that's kind of like her and her like.

womanhood and yeah fertility and all those things.

Yeah.

It's like the loss of her life.

Six six years.

Six good years.

Good years.

Yeah.

I can do it with a broken broken heart.

That's my top four.

I can do it with a broken heart, but daddy, I love him.

Who's afraid of Little Ol Me and Fortnite?

I can do it with a broken heart.

It's a jogging song, first of all.

It's a pussy popping song.

That's one is about Joe.

When she first started Aristotle, first of all, we didn't know until like, not deep, but decently into Aristotle that her and Joe had broken up when that announcement came out.

And they obviously had been broken up for a while.

So from the very beginning of Aristotle, this like kind of monumental thing in her life, the hardest thing she's ever done, this sort of Everest, she's also dealing with like a personal tragedy.

And she's getting all these accolades, people saying it's like the most impressive, amazing thing.

And she's like dying inside.

That's what the whole song is about.

But the song is super upbeat, sort of mirroring.

She's like up there dancing three hours, smiling, laugh, mirrors, ha.

And she's like dying inside.

Yeah.

The smallest man who ever lived, which is like the dissiest track on the album.

And it's pretty fire.

Songs about me.

I'm killing myself.

Like it's really nasty.

And this is also perceived to be about Maddie.

Do you think that Maddie will now like write songs about her?

The thing is, I feel, and now everyone's going back into the whole catalog.

These two have been writing about each other for years.

They just weren't like main characters in each other's.

Yeah.

When people think of Maddie, he dated Halsey for a really long time.

And that song, her best song, his smoke, his jeans, and it's a column

blue.

You know that song?

Yeah.

Colors.

Colors.

Thank you.

That's about Maddie Healy.

And that's sort of like...

When I think people look back at their both of their disographies, they don't, I don't think of Maddie for a lot, but now people are going back and recontextualizing a lot of music.

Yeah.

She sort of opened up the floodgates.

yeah so it's like songs on here that we think yep that we can't place it maybe about not about someone else but you know just something that we don't know yeah

okay say too much

the alchemy

i'm not sure i feel like that one's about travis but i'm getting them all confused i'm sorry clara bow no now we're in the part now we're in like the latter half yeah okay so then so high school which we talked about that's about travis i hate it here you know that one's going viral because that lyric about the 1830s oh okay.

That was a weird lyric.

When I heard it, I was like, question mark?

Yeah.

And so when you finish the lyric in the verse, I actually like the message.

Like nostalgia is useless because you're always going to look back on things with rose-colored glasses.

Like all these period pieces we watch.

It's like horrible fucking things.

Yeah.

But you romanticize it.

And it was more of a statement on nostalgia.

And I actually really liked the message, but that line with Gaming the Willies, like, I feel like she, she couldn't say that like she wanted to live in the 1830s and not like mention.

Honestly, Honestly, you know what I feel like it was a reference to?

So in Timeless, the vault track from Speaking out.

We really were timeless.

Yes.

In the 1500s.

So

there's a lyric about the 1940s and some girl made a very viral TikTok being like me singing this song knowing I couldn't relate because in the 1940s my ancestors were being like walked into gas chambers.

And it was like funny.

It wasn't like shade at all.

But it did sort of signal this really bizarre thing where like we reference and we romanticize these periods of time that were awful yeah no but i think the with the 1830s and so i think she made that caveat like without the racism because like maybe of something like hearing the word racism in the middle of a song in like a in sort of a very light poetic slow ballody song it was like sort of this anvil like

yeah but also it's like it's slavery yeah no it's horrible and then i think there's things that are romantic about the 1940s and there's also the horrible things.

But I think one of the questions is like, what in the 1830s were you jazzed about?

Like, seriously, what, what was like, name, like, she said, yeah, if she could live in another time, it would be the 1830s without the racism or the like sort of dowry, how you would get, like, sold off for marriage.

I forget how she phrased it.

No, but like, aside from that, like, what's the glamorous part of it?

Like, like the dresses?

I honestly don't know.

Yeah.

I don't like that line.

Yeah, it's like people are getting hung up on it.

But the thing is, and I forget who it was, I think I said this to Margo is every now and then, and I feel like it's happening a lot more frequently with Taylor, is she'll have a lyric that's sort of like jarring and it doesn't like flow lyrically.

She uses words that are just sort of like, they stand out because they're not words that you use in songs like racism.

But then they just become normal.

Like then you just sing them at a concert.

But when you listen to it for the first time, there are certain lines that really stick out and you're like, that's not supposed to be in a song.

And that's one of them.

Yeah.

And now

for Thank You Amy.

Is that a second story?

Let's do it because it's, we're going to lose time on the cards.

It's been an hour.

Okay.

So story number two is Thank You Amy, a song that is,

you know, perceived to be about Kim Sebastian.

However, it's not even perceived because it's called Thank You Amy and the letters K, I, and M are capitalized and the rest are lowercase.

It's literally, she wanted, she's like, you bitches need to know this song's about Kim.

Also, lyrically, I actually really like the message of the song.

It's about having this, you know, nemesis who you literally fucking hate forever, but being able to see them in in a positive light and not really, it's kind of a song about healing.

And so when people are like, get over it, why is she still singing about Kim?

If you listen to it, it's actually about, you know, moving on in a sense, because it's not so much about hating this person forever.

It's about seeing this person as being like, you know what, I'm so happy in my life right now.

And I actually wouldn't be right exactly where I am right now if I hadn't went through this really hard thing with you.

So it's about, you know, almost appreciating them.

That's part of it.

I don't think it's about moving on.

I think it's about I'm going to stay right here.

Here's the silver lining and I'm gonna be glad for that but uh not gonna forget everything else yeah and so

half the people are like yes kill kim we hate and the other half are like oh my god get over it happened five years ago it wasn't even kim it was her husband um and i've thought a lot about this because obviously like we're kardashian stands i'm taylor's biggest fan and

I think in this moment, you know, for many years, if you would ask me, like, who would you choose?

Who would you choose?

Who would you choose?

I didn't know what to say.

I feel like now I think I would choose Taylor, like my stanhood, but that could change.

Stanhood is, you know, ebbs and flows, but I think we all know I'm choosing Taylor.

But I'm also, I know thyself, like, do I let anything go?

No, like if you cross me, like I'll literally never forget it till the day I'll be talking about it on my deathbed.

And there are certain people, I think everyone has it.

Like they're Roman empires.

It could be big or small, like a friend who betrayed you in middle school who you never forgot, or someone who, you know, crossed you in work and years down the line, you never forgot it.

And yeah, of course, we're all taught therapy, heal on, move, yeah, yeah.

I really do like about Taylor, specifically as it pertains to this one thing with Kim, is this is her enemy for life and she's not letting it go and she's not moving on.

And you know what?

That's okay too.

You know, a degree of grudge is certainly healthy.

I think two things where it's like,

this is her Roman Empire, you know, she's not gonna let it go.

I think some people feel like when you think back to what happened, I think some people would be like, it's not that big of a deal.

And I feel like Taylor, for Taylor, it was the biggest deal.

She took a year off, but at the time, like, you didn't need to take a year off, but it just like forced all this chain of events in her life.

And it just always reminds me of the saying, like, the worst thing that's ever happened to someone is still the worst thing that's ever happened to them.

It might not be the worst thing that's ever happened to you.

Maybe you've had it worse.

So you're kind of like, get over it, but still, like, it's the worst and hardest thing that ever happened to them.

Yeah.

And it's their Roman Empire for a reason.

And now, of course, like people are re-bringing up the

feud.

And when I think of the feud, I think of the phone call, of course.

But I also forgot about that like art installation where they had like naked bodies made of everyone.

Like that was really weird.

Yeah, but that's not Kim.

But Kim went and like took pictures and like put it on her instagram and like remember it was on her snapchat oh that is really weird but

like imagine if somebody made like a nude body of you like no no no no no like i didn't even think about that as part of the feud but that but then as people are bringing up on twitter i was like oh yeah that's another part of it and you know taylor's very she's not like a emirata who's like her body is like freeing the nipple taylor's like the total opposite she's like old school conservative like seeing a picture of her in a bikini which we've done like twice in her career is like the craziest thing yeah but then i wonder why there's not this energy also for kanye yeah well to me kanye is this sort of like disgraced person.

Like there's really not more that could be done.

You know what I mean?

And Kim is like still, Kim's like a billionaire.

Kim's doing better than she ever has.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I think Taylor's very like woman supporting woman.

So like to get it from a man, whatever, but I think like, you know, it hurts more coming from a woman.

For sure.

But isn't it also then like to blame the woman more on the man?

It was his lyric.

True.

I'm just saying, like, I do think it's still both of them.

But yeah, for some reason, it's become Taylor versus Kim.

Yeah, because you wonder, it was his lyric and his recording of the phone call.

But like, Kim was the one who posted it.

Kim was the one who did the snakes.

Kim was the one who sent everyone after.

Like, and yeah, I don't know.

I don't know.

You're right.

I see both sides.

I see both sides.

But I also feel like she's kind of written about Kanye and dealt with that.

But that was also about the VMEs, not about the lyric.

Yeah.

And then you also forget, like, it wasn't just, they had the history of the VMEs.

Like, it's really kind of been this like years long.

So yeah, I could see someone who doesn't know everything being like, oh my God, enough already.

But when you really go back and visit the context, like

I get it I have an enemy you know whom I literally like

hate yeah with every fiber of my being and I will I don't I there will never be a day where I wish this person well yeah and I think a lot of people have that and they like hold it inside being like yeah no I'm over it it's okay yeah it's okay not to be okay and your version of it is like talking about it or we'll do like an episode or something we were just talking about and her version is writing songs so yeah it's gonna be on this album might be on the next one because it's like still something that's inside her head and that's okay Yeah.

Why do you think she did Amy like that?

So

the message at the end of the song is, you know, she's screaming, fuck you, Amy, fuck you, Amy.

And at the end, she says, thank you, Amy.

It's like you learn to actually see this person made you better for whatever reason.

The challenge was good for you.

And

so it's going from fuck you to thank you.

And I think she saw there was a K in thank.

So she's like, I need to get I-M in there.

Honestly, I don't know.

Yeah, because Amy, like.

What other name?

Cause she's spelling Amy weird.

It's A-I-M-E-E because she needed the I.

What's another name that's not Kim that has I and M in it?

Samantha.

Like, you know what I mean?

Miley.

No, but the M comes first.

I'm sure she thought about it hard and long and then was able to land on Amy spelled in the, you know, alternative way.

Well, I had a theory that also maybe Amy was like her childhood bully and now she's like putting the two together because it said like in my hometown like it still does talk about like growing up things yeah so like maybe amy and kim are like the two bullies of her life and i really need people to stop like making videos like thank you amy is about dumois thank you amy is about the media like they're theorized she literally says it spray tan statue kim is in the like stop and that your kid will come home singing this song

so a lot of people are also like you know taking moral high ground here being like don't bring north into it

Yeah, because the lyric is, so I change your name and any real defining clues.

Not and like real defining clues, K-I-M.

No, so i think this song is like

no i don't know and one day your kid comes home singing a song that only us two is gonna know is about you but that's everything like it's the future no and also and everyone knows it's about her because of the kim

yeah i don't know so maybe it's not about kim or maybe this no but it is why else would the letter i know but why would she say only us two is we all know it's about her i do want to say though i like I really like the song.

I just wish she didn't capitalize it because we would have been able to figure it out.

It's not, she's not mincing words.

It's a very clear.

Spray tan.

We know.

Who else?

Yeah.

And

also I said your words still ringing in my head, ringing in my head, like the phone call ringing.

Oh, right.

No, it's so obvious who it's about.

Easter egg.

And I just wish she didn't put Kim's name in there because I feel like it's giving Kim like a lot of attention and credence.

But it's like, you're the most famous person in the world right now.

Like you're, there was a time where like, you know, she kicked you down and now you're so many levels above.

Like you're this global superstar.

Like it's really the Beatles.

You know, they're comparing you.

Like to put her name, it's like, you're kind of better than that.

No, I,

I don't even think it's that as more so it's like just kind of corny to capitalize letters and make it so overt.

Like, keep the art.

Yeah.

Keep the subtlety.

You know your fans are going to do the work for you.

I agree.

So I, I really, and she knows that.

So why?

Yeah, I don't like it.

And I like the song.

I just wish the letters were like.

But also everyone's freaking out with the letters are caps.

Like maybe that's why.

But people would like to.

No, because it would always be like

right, like 99.9%.

It's about giving it.

There's always 0.1%.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That 0.1%.

So

just a lot of questions and a lot of answers.

Need time.

Need time with the album.

Need time for me.

31 songs.

Like, you know, give your local influencer and podcaster like a minute.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And anyone who's like already with their dissertation in their faves, like either hasn't slept.

Yeah.

Or is lying to you.

Yeah.

And I'm going to say it's the latter.

Yeah.

Because even so, like music, you need time, especially when it's a new sound.

I do feel like a lot of these songs, it's like that pop synth.

Synth.

But it takes a minute to adjust to and to find out what stays in your head.

So funny, when me and Jackie were in the car running errands, listening to music, I was just like, whenever I hear a new song, I hate it.

And I think that's more so

my, you know, we always joke, like Turdy hates change.

Turdy listens to the same, I literally listen to the same music, I watch the same TV shows.

I hate doing new things.

Like I'm very much a creature of habit.

And that apply, when I hear new music, it like scratches me in the wrong way.

I'm like, go back to the song I know.

Go back to me.

That's why whenever Taylor releases new music, I always find myself having a renaissance with the previous album because there's comfort in knowing the lyrics.

That's why I only recently like you're like i like this sound but i want to know it

thank you yeah but that's why when a song like hits on the first one that was like the ari song we can't be friends yeah it's like oh this is a certain

bop yeah

okay well are you ready for our next story if it's the next story that's brought to you by caraway perchance his

all right spring cleaning caraway we're getting our kitchens in to shape.

Oh my god, nobody has more caraways on the planet than Jackie.

How many sets you have, three?

Two.

Pink, ivory.

The pink is so cute.

The pink is so cute.

And honestly, our week is brought to you by Caraway because Ben has been cooking in my kitchen and Caraway just makes it tolerable.

You guys know Caraway is the official cookware here at the Toast.

We love, love, love their products.

They have so many different lines.

Love the cookware, love the bakeware.

They have kitchen utensils, gadgets.

And what's so great about them is that you're ditching the chemicals.

They are non-toxic kitchenware.

They feature a chemical-free ceramic coating.

Food can be prepared with peace of mind that no hard-to-pronounce chemicals will leach into your healthy ingredients.

When Jackie's cooking for her family, obviously that's of utmost importance.

Now, for me, I really like the vibes, you know, the aesthetic energy.

I have this sort of, I think it's the sage green set, really matches the energy of my home from a color story perspective.

The no chemicals is also great, but I also live in New York City with limited cabinet space, and I really, really like their storage solutions.

Like they have this thing that hangs on the door for all the covers.

It really, they've got these little liners.

It's just really, it's 10 out of 10.

I love the organizational element of it.

It's easy cooking.

The ceramics naturally slick surface means minimal oil or butter for slide off the pan, eggs, and easy cleaning.

Just as a reminder, their iconic cookware set comes with a saute pan, fry pan, Dutch oven, and saucepan, plus lids for all of them, and a canvas lid holder with a magnetic pan rack for storage.

It's the ultimate kitchen setup, and it will save you $150 versus buying the items individually.

If you visit carawayhome.com slash toaster, you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase.

That code has changed, so please keep in mind it's carawayhome.com slash toaster or use code toaster exclusive for our listeners.

Caraway, it's non-toxic cookware, and it's made modern.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Roeback.

You all know Roeback, we absolutely love their women's line.

Their hoodie and jogger sets are incredible.

They are soft.

They are fabulous.

They are comfortable.

The fabric is called VSoft because it is VSoft.

Whether it's a lazy day or you're out running errands, we love to wear our Roeback hoodie and jogger sets.

Get yourself a set and stay toasty all season.

Sets are just everything.

Like you're not going to catch me wearing a set today.

Like sets are the podcasters sort of uniform.

It makes you look put together, but you still stay comfortable.

You still

stay looking fabulous.

Perfect for errands, perfect for mamas on the go, perfect perfect for a working girl from home who's like taking Zoom, but like doesn't want to look like she's in her pajamas, but she feels like she is in her pajamas.

They also have great men's stuff.

So if you need something for the man in your life to stop looking like a slob, check out Roeback.

If you haven't already, it is now time to try RoBack.

You can use code Toast, T-O-A-S-T, on roback.com for a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week.

Everyone knows we love a good crew neck.

These might be the best that we own.

So roback.com is spelled R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.

That's 20% off all hoodies, joggers, crews, and more with code toast T-O-A-S-T.

Stay comfortable this spring with ROBAC.

They are super lightweight.

They are breathable fabrics that are designed to keep you comfortable while you're on the move.

It's made with their signature GTG technology.

So head to rhobak.com to get 20% off hoodies, joggers, cruise, and more with code Toast T-O-A-S-T.

Thank you, Turtle.

You're welcome.

Our next story, Victoria Beckham's 50th birthday party was just star-studded.

The Spice Girls, quote, reunited.

They did not reunite.

They all attended a party.

They all attended a party.

Their song came on.

They started doing their choreography, and it was seriously amazing.

This is David Beckham's.

I know he has like a destiny to fulfill as a soccer star.

And, you know, he's doing really big things.

But to me, like his destiny and his fate is to capture iconic Spice Girls moments as they happen and share them with the world.

I agree.

I feel like it's really crazy how the Beckhams have had such a long career.

And I feel like we weren't really like alive and conscious and living in the UK when they were, you know, posh and becks.

And I'm sure that was huge.

But it's really crazy how they're still so A-list.

And I feel like they've had all these different phases of their careers.

And now they're in this sort of like, you know, really rich older, their kids are all grown.

And then of course the Nicola Heltz Beckham of it all.

Like they're in this.

And then the documentary.

The documentary, I think, like gave them like a new wave of

even though like if this had happened before the documentary, like it would still be major news, but people are just absolutely loving the two of them since the documentary yeah like do you think like i started following her since the documentary i didn't follow her before do you think there would have been as many paparazzi stationed outside the party like because her walking in on crutches and then she i don't know what happened to her foot but she obviously like has a broken ankle or something and then he carried her out on piggyback and the photos are amazing do you think there would have been that many paparazzi standing outside her birthday party yes okay because also it was in london Like Tom Cruise was there.

They're also like so famous here, but I bet it's even more in London.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I think always heightened, but now it's just on steroids and the girlies, their song played.

I love how they embrace and they're all good.

Like they're all still friends.

People are like, when's the reunion?

Like, I don't think we need a reunion tour.

I think like this is enough knowing that your fave girl band grew up and they all look unbelievable.

They all seem so happy.

They're still close with each other and they have so much like love and nostalgia for the good old days.

Like that's enough for me.

I agree.

I think it's good.

It's so cute.

When I saw this video, like seriously so cute and you could see like David's like so proud.

He should have, he like, I felt like he felt funny about filming them and then turned it back to him.

And it was like a very short video.

Like we need more.

They could never make me hate David Beckham.

Like between his love of Judaism, which he was like raised Jewish, his dad is Jewish.

There's like a story there and he loves it.

He's so proud.

Between his love of Judaism, his love of his wife, obviously his insanely good looks, my love of the movie Bendit like Beckham.

And then that.

viral moment of him waiting in line for like seven hours to go wish the queen well when her you know when she was dead and they had like the coffin i don't know what the procession is called but they leave the coffin out in like a public square.

And it's like people fly from all over the world.

There's thousands of people.

And I'm sure he could have cut the line.

He's David Beckham.

I know he has such respect for the queen.

He waited, waited, and he was crying and he brought his son.

Like they just couldn't make me hate this man.

No, never.

Nicola was not at the party.

Okay, let's get,

but her, like, she was with her grandma.

And I think really all is well.

I,

there was a time where they couldn't make me think that anything good was going on.

Like, I was so convinced.

Oh, Nicola wasn't at the birthday party and it's like this big party.

What else do you have going on?

Like, unless you were on a set where you couldn't leave, why wouldn't you go to the party?

I don't feel that way.

I don't feel that way.

I think now that they're good.

I think there was a time when it was bad, but I think a lot of people can relate to that.

Like planning a wedding is stressful.

Hating your in-laws during the wedding planning process.

And then like you move on, like it's over.

You look back

with rose-colored glasses.

Like it's good.

It's fine.

And also,

this might be like a crazy thing to say.

I feel like Nicola Peltz Beckham has like been a socialite for a really long time, but I feel like she's like wanted to be properly famous for a long time.

I remember her like doing projects.

We really knew about her like from the Beckhams.

And I think that

and Bellathorne.

But the thing is, that was like niche.

That was niche.

And we knew it because we're freaks, but America didn't know Nicola Peltz Beckham.

And I think she wanted America to know, to know her.

And I think once the Beckhams had this sort of renaissance, she sort of started seeing her in-laws in like a more positive light and like really being open to having a sort of reproach.

She watched Beckham and she was like, they seem great.

No, I just want to get along.

That's not what I'm saying.

I think she's using them.

No, no, no.

I think it gave a favorable thing.

Like, oh, you know what?

If I just got along with them and they're nice people, like, whatever, they created my husband who I love.

And, you know, they're the most famous people.

Like, like, I think she saw and she was like, you know what?

Because they did, especially after the wedding and then the documentary, they became

newly famous in a new way.

And I think she saw it and she said, you know, the mass appeal I've been looking for could be right down the street.

Yeah.

That's what I think.

Okay.

I'm surprised why she missed the party, though.

She was with her grandma and she's very close with her grandma, but like she could have gone to grandma tomorrow.

Yeah.

But also like for us, it's like, oh man, how could you miss Victoria Beckham's birthday party?

When you're like at that level, it's just like a party.

It's one of a million parties.

It's not the biggest thing.

Maybe she didn't realize it was going to be so like big and iconic.

She's like, oh, they're throwing a party.

I'll miss this one.

I'll be at the next one.

It's like, oh, no, this was the one.

And the mass appeal she was looking for was there.

Right there.

Right there.

You live in your line.

Yeah.

Anyways, happy birthday, Victoria.

HB Day.

It looked awesome.

She looked amazing.

Really, all the spice girls looked amazing.

I love those girls.

Those girls raised us.

Those girls raised us.

And they all turned out to be good role models.

Like nobody went off the deep end.

You know what?

You're right.

Like leave them alone.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Which is some surprising breakup news, at least for me.

I don't know how you feel about it, but Claudia's doppelganger, Victoria Fuller, and Greg Grippo have broken up.

So they are both bachelor alums.

Bachelor Nation stars Greg Grippo and Victoria Fuller are officially done so.

He confirmed the report that they broke up after one year of dating.

He was on a podcast and he said, it's sad, to be honest with you.

It's really sad.

He said, I just want to respect her during this time and not go into detail on anything, but we definitely ended things.

So I don't know Greg.

I didn't watch his season.

I know like he was one of the seasoning.

He was like the Tyler Cameron of his season.

And he was on a season like right after we stopped watching.

Of course, I know Victoria Fuller.

She's like, I love her.

She's one of my favorite people to follow on Instagram.

Fame.

Chase Rice, who remembers that.

Like that was crazy.

And I weirdly just started following them because I follow her and they were so cute and everybody loved them.

And I was like, that's so great.

But I just like, I don't know him, but I ended up like loving him and I love her.

And

they were very low-key about their breakup.

Like it just sort of trickled out.

They've only been broken up for a while.

Yeah.

Like there was a report that they were broken up.

I don't think they confirmed anything.

And then this was like the official confirmation.

He talked about it on the podcast.

And to me, like, this is a great loss for like Cupid.

I really liked this couple.

I liked their origin story because it was kind of like them against the world.

I think she got engaged on Bachelor in Paradise and two days later was like, bye, I'm dating Greg, like the most eligible bachelor from the franchise in recent years.

Like, you can't touch me.

And they got so serious and were together for so long that it was like, oh, yeah, we can't touch her.

No.

And I feel like this is also a huge loss for the franchise that's like desperately trying to come back.

Between Gary, like this is, it's been a bad week for them.

Yeah.

I just feel like Victoria Fuller is just one of those girls that it's like what Victoria wants, Victoria gets.

She'll bounce back.

I'm not worried about her in the slightest.

Like this, I feel like was Victoria's call.

By the way, so many Victoria's in the show today.

It's a great name for great women.

It is a great name.

It's a really

powerful name.

Like Queen Victoria, my fabe.

I agree.

I think that this was Victoria's choice.

Like she's just that type of girl.

She has that sort of energy.

Yeah.

Like, oh, if Victoria wanted to be with Greg, they would be together.

Correct.

Victoria wanted Greg to pack it up.

He's got

he's gone and crying about it on a podcast.

Correct.

But you don't see her out here like slumming it on podcasts.

No, she just like got a new dog and she's like, hey guys, what's up?

I was like, should I date next?

I was DMing with her.

She was sending me some.

some worship songs that she thinks I would like.

Oh, that's so great.

Yeah.

And I like, I didn't want to say anything, you know.

But you knew.

Well, yeah, like I had just read about it.

So I was just trying to be like there for her and like a sort of the thing is like I don't think she needs anyone or anything to be there for her.

One thing about Victoria, she's has always been and will always be fine.

I think she's good.

She's good.

But still, I'm sad.

So when I climb into bed, I start feeling sad.

Correct.

Our fifth and final story is actually just like a really funny saga that has to do with one of our favorite subjects.

Ourselves?

No.

No, it's like probably, you will never guess.

Okay, go.

New York City rats is what it has to do with.

Oh my God.

I'm so glad you're bringing this up because I read this story.

It was like a week ago, not to like date you with an old story.

No, with rats?

Yeah.

Birth control?

No.

Oh, no.

Oh, okay.

Well, what I was going to say really quick, and I was thinking about this story before bed last night.

Did you see, and they've actually spoken about this a couple of times historically about doing it to help eradicate the New York City rat problem, is disseminating rat birth control, like where rats congregate, you know, the subways.

It's not a bad idea.

Putting birth control, rat birth control system everywhere to cut the population.

And I thought it was brilliant.

And apparently it's an idea that's been floated over many mayoral terms and nobody's ever done it.

Why?

I don't know.

And I just wanted to come on my platform and say I endorse the idea.

Yeah, I don't see why it's a bad idea yet, but sound off in the comments.

Why shouldn't we give rats birth control to control the population?

But what were you going to say about the rats?

So this is kind of a long saga with one of the worst people on the planet.

Let me think.

Again.

Bill DeBasio?

No, no.

Okay, who?

Keith McNally.

Oh, this fuck.

So rats were seen scurrying on video at his restaurant.

Balthazar.

Let's just give a little context to who Keith McNally is.

I feel like people are.

No, no, no, no.

It started with James Corden.

That's when we first heard his name.

Thank you.

I forgot about that association.

Now, in hindsight, justice for James Corden.

So Keith McEnally is this like restaurateur who's like, he claims to be the owner of a bunch of well-known New York City restaurants.

And then one of the times he was getting canceled, somebody did the deep dive.

He's like...

not really an owner anymore.

He's like a partial owner or whatever.

So he like lies a lot about his background.

But he's made waves a couple of times.

Yes, he was the one who accused James Corden of like yelling about eggs.

He was also the one who wrote the most like nasty thing on October 8th.

I forget what it was.

Every celebrity who like goes to his restaurants flocked.

It was like Chrissy Teigen, Jessica Steinfeld, like everybody was writing the nastiest things.

He wrote the craziest Instagram posts.

And he's always like writing the most honestly like brain dead bad takes on his Instagram.

He's kind of become famous for being like a troll.

Yeah.

And so last week he wrote about Jeff Bezos' wife, Lauren Sanchez.

Oh, yes.

And he said, does anybody else find Jeff Bezos' new wife, Lauren Sanchez, absolutely revolting?

This is like so, I don't even want to repeat this.

He's horrible.

He's horrible.

So anyways.

Read it.

People should know how disgusting he is.

What an ugly and fucking smug-looking couple they make.

Is this what having $1,000 billion does to people?

So then this week, people were in his restaurant and they saw rats at Balthazar.

And he's saying that they were.

unleashed and planted in his restaurant after his Lauren Sanchez diss.

Oh my God.

Like victim complex, first of all.

Yeah.

Second of all, he's awful.

Oh, he just says the most like awful, disgusting things.

Like, tell me you're jealous without telling me you're jealous.

I'm jealous of Lauren Sanchez, but even I know she's like beautiful and lovely and has done great things for Jeff Bezos.

And I'm a hater to my core.

Like, I'm all, I'm all for hating, but like, this is really mean-spirited and ugly, like really ugly.

And to be honest, like,

I could, you know, wax putting about how having rats in your restaurant in New York, like

the best restaurants do.

Like, it's just, you can't exist.

It's like a a ray of passage.

It's sort of like a right, like you like.

Like ratatouille.

Not that I'm making it okay, but I'm saying like

if I wanted to come on here and defend Keith McEnale, I could.

Like every restaurant, even the best, cleanest, health department A, it's unavoidable.

It's just a part of the culture.

But yeah, Keith McInally definitely is dirty and disgusting, and all of his restaurants are dirty and disgusting.

Yeah.

Page six reached out to him about the video and he said a suspicious man of about 40 camps sat nervously at Balthazar bar last night around 8.30.

After paying for one drink, he suddenly left very quickly, leaving an upturned bag, which five white domesticated mice ran out from.

He also alleged that one of the bartenders who noticed the whole episode ran after the man, but failed to catch him.

Oh, rats.

No.

Literally.

Literally me when I'm lying.

Stop making things up and like just.

No, but that's like actually such a good defense.

Like if someone saw like the thing is, ready for this?

A mouse, I'd be like, oh, my enemies planted it.

And if that actually did happen, this, you know, Fukak's story, he just sort of made up.

He would have lay.

He would, no, he would have have it all on tape.

Yeah, he wouldn't know, but like, and he would release the tapes and that would be a slay.

I'm sorry, if you're gonna like insult people and in such a disgusting way and that's your revenge, like, I kind of love that.

I love that too.

But here's another thing.

You're telling me that if at this fabulous New York City restaurant, somebody came in, flipped over a box and mice ran everywhere.

And the bartender, it's obviously a chaotic scene.

The bartender goes running.

The mice are run.

You're telling me this wouldn't be in page six an hour later.

Like, this is something, like, a story that local tabloids like page six would eat up.

We would have known about it.

It would have been on video.

Like, please stop lying.

Like, seriously.

You're, oh, I hate this man.

and everything i learn and see about him is against my will like i don't actively go out seeking like stop stop he's just so thirsty and like desperate and nobody gets that better than me but i would never stoop to this so what does it make you think about the james cordon situation now because he really got dragged through the mud for this because his wife's eggs had eggs in them and partially allergic to eggs yes and he yelled at someone said keith mcnally said keith mcnally it definitely makes me look at it that was my first you know piece of information that i saw against my will about keith mcnally Now, knowing all I know, this person's obviously a compulsive liar and attention seeker, and it makes me feel bad for James Corden.

And Keith McNally knew exactly what to say, because if you're going to say that a big, rich celebrity attacked the small, poor waiter, no one is going to come to Keith McNally's defense.

No one will defense.

I mean, James Corden's defense.

Like no one will defend yelling at a waiter.

It was the perfect crime.

It was the perfect crime.

And I just know James Corden, like if he, like, he has a...

a wall of darts and it's a picture of Keith McNally like his thank you Keith McNally would be like James Corden's song Keith McNally is to James Corden as Kim is to Taylor.

Because he really, and he like, oh, it was so strategic in the sense that people were getting like a little fed up with James Corden.

He didn't do anything wrong.

He was just like everywhere all at once and likability is a prison.

And it was the perfect timing.

It was the perfect crime to accuse him of to really bring down James Corden.

Yeah.

Perfect storm.

So justice for James Corden, all's to say.

Yeah.

I like that.

And what did James Corden ever do, really?

Except bring joy in like a positive, that could be like an annoying kind of way.

That's not a crime.

His wife is allergic.

allergic right right

and he tried to kill his wife i feel like i just took the biggest duty ever like i had so much to say i feel like i said it all yeah no no stone unturned and i enjoyed being you know back in front of the flamingos with you i'm loving the flamingos

we've spoken at length about you know someday in the future the near future i love them so much and it's really making me happy by the way once we start podcasting from here we could have different until i get flamingos who cares no but you don't even need flamingos I would change that into something new.

Great.

I think also the colors of the palm leaves, like it's not our colors from a colorist.

I think this really is just like fun and bright.

And something about that translates to being a little dull.

Not to hate on the palm leaves.

They've been so good to us, but I'm just having a renaissance with my mingos, as Shannon calls them.

You should start podcasting from here.

I think I'm going to.

I really enjoyed it last week.

We need to throw the rulebook out the window, Jax.

We're just

the Instagram rulebook went out the window and we're free.

Free.

Like the content that we're creating on Instagram.

Unparalleled.

Where our creative juices are flowing.

Unparalleled.

So, rules, I don't know them.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast of Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So, if you're watching us on YouTube, please help me to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We are also available as podcasts anywhere.

Podcasts can be found.

So, that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, IR Radio, Castbox, all the places where we listen to the podcast.

My name is Toastleaf Star View about a beautiful signing and wickedly talented.

We are sound off in the comments.

Is Bruno obese?

Love you.

Is Bruno the most handsome angel you've ever seen?

Yes.