Seder Swirlies: Tuesday, April 23rd, 2024

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Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the toast.

Happy Tuesday.

Right?

Yeah.

Hopefully you're hearing this episode.

It's really TBD because Ben Soffer used this studio before us, after us yesterday, before us today.

I double-checked that he made everything right.

It looks right.

We're looking at it.

We're doing like the classic checks.

Looks good, but you never know with Ben.

There could be a cord that was unplugged from the wall.

No, I know.

And I do really believe we scared him straight like the last time.

Like the wrath of the toasters was so strong and so fierce that I think he literally didn't touch one thing yesterday, but I did all my checks, but you just.

It could be something that you don't even see coming.

The smallest of things, you know, but let's just stay on alert the whole show we will things look good chags of meyah last night was first seder happy passover to all those celebrating let me tell you passover is literally one of my favorite holidays i kind of like i never think of it it gets kind of a bad rap you have to wait a long time to eat it gets a bad rap because the the the meals are hours long, like in prayer before you can actually eat.

But it also gets a bad rap because it's 10 days where we're not allowed to eat bread.

And that's hard for us, you know?

It's not 10 days?

It's not eight days.

No, I think it's 10.

Don't quote me on that, but I'm fairly certain it's 10.

Really?

Why would you say eight?

Like, I just saw it as eight days.

That was like the number you had.

That's the number that, like, I associate.

Oh, that's the number you grew up with?

We absolutely have to clear this up.

I'm pretty sure it's 10, where you can't eat any sort of leavened bread.

Like, no, basically no gluten.

Also, no corn.

There's like a lot of annoying raws.

And it's like all my favorite foods, basically starches.

Anything fattening, you can't have.

It's literally a 10 days-long diet.

Outside of Israel, it's eight days.

In Israel, it's seven days.

Oh, my God, eight days.

Okay, it's literally not even that long.

It's when you were a kid.

Oh, my God, it it felt like an eternity.

And that's hard.

So it gets a bad rap for sure, but I forgot how much I just love Pesach.

First of all, like, I do love matzah.

And Loki, a big slice of matzah is only three points on Weight Watchers, which I was really shocked by.

It's like really not bad.

That's very not anti-Semitic of Weight Watchers.

There it is.

Ally.

I feel like they could have cranked it up, you know, to stifle matzah sales.

And they didn't want to do allyship.

Allyship.

And like, it's a lot of prayers for sure.

But, and I love, I love all my prayers.

You know, I don't like to choose favorites.

But the tunes that Pesach brings are so like pussy popping.

No, there are certified bops in the Haggadah.

There's so many.

I mean, my favorite one of all.

Yeah, but I like the way that song starts.

So you come in at Malacha Hayam.

Malachayam, like, Do not even try.

If you're at a seder that's in attendance with me, like, and you think, oh, maybe I'll lead

you won't.

Sit down.

Take several seats.

It's been in my family for generations.

Everybody knows to just sort of like quiet down.

And I always, always deliver.

And, you know, since I was a child, and speaking of my childhood, and I, for a, you know, a brief period of my life, I really thought I could be a chazan.

Which for those who don't know is like when you go to a synagogue, there's like two men up there.

One's the rabbi and one's the chazan, the singer, you know, the cantor.

The cantor.

He's like the, the lyrical sort of melodic part of the

journey.

And the sect of Judaism that we, participate in actually does not allow women to be chazan.

So it was kind of like a fruitless dream.

But I've seen some chazans who kind of stink and I feel like they could use my leadership.

Usually they're really strong.

I've not seen really stinky.

It's really like music and lyrics.

The chazan is the music, rabbi is the lyrics.

I love that.

Yeah.

So like who is the Hugh Grant and who's the Drew Barrymore?

The Hugh Grant is the Chazan and Drew Barrymore is the rabbi.

She's lyrics.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And he's music.

Yeah.

I love that.

Yeah.

So we just sang all night long.

We ate.

There was a kids' table.

It was so cute.

We're going to do it again tonight.

Two satyrs.

I love Passover.

Like it's really one of my favorites.

Okay.

And the story.

Well, the story is timeless story about the oppression of the Jewish people.

But this year, it seriously reads like a newspaper article from today.

Oh, it totally does.

It's eerie.

And I don't know.

I just,

I feel like we've been talking enough about Passover, you know?

Yeah.

I'm having such a blast.

And I'm able to sort of look past the lack of bread.

Yeah, it's not a big deal at the Passover Seder because there are so many other foods.

And now with gluten-free, like life hack, Judaism hack, anything gluten-free is kosher for Passover.

I just had to go macro bar, gluten-free.

Amazing.

Didn't even have to get K for P.

Now, some people I feel like take it a little too far.

Like they won't have fountain soda because it has corn syrup in it.

And like, just to know, I'm not personally that religious.

Like I will be having fountain soda, probably one today.

Yeah.

And I just think that's what God would would want it's open for interpretation much like a lot of judaism but you know what's not up for interpretation toastiness no that is ironclad as is bruno who's here again today being a handsome devil you look gorgeous you know

let's talk about that for a minute i i'm spent a lot of time with you in new york and now here and i'm just feel like i'm getting a lot of physicality you know physical sort of energy from you and i feel like a lot of our relationship you know is virtual thanks to you abandoning we're pen pals is virtual yeah we're we are literally pen pals.

Um,

just Jackie's, you've just been looking so gorgeous lately.

Like between the haircut, you're looking snatched.

Like, I feel like you're feeling yourself.

I'm really loving this sort of jackassance.

Thank you so much.

I told you guys when I stopped breastfeeding, like, it would be over for you bitches.

And I haven't even reached the end of my road.

Maybe I'm halfway to this.

It's feeling over.

Like, I know it's not over.

No, no, for these bitches.

Oh, yeah.

No, it's starting to be over.

Run for cover.

But as I progress on my journey, it's very exciting to feel better.

And it's like, this is the lowest weight I've been in

like a year and a half, but still not like my regular usual weight.

So it's very exciting.

Like I told you guys in February when you were here, like I'm going on a wellness journey.

And like, I've just, I've been doing the work.

And tell me, like, what's your number one tip?

For the wellness journey,

whether it be like an actual, you know, like aid or just like something you tell yourself, something you feel, like, what's been carrying you through?

just like seeing like SVs and NSVs has been carrying me through but it's those

it's those early days that are really hard um I've had a lot of great friends along the way Taylor Farms

Sakara go macro kids bars bear bells I want to say, coffee, you know, just really kind of never sitting down because of my children, staying busy.

Well, I have been on a wellness journey here because I have not sat down for one mere moment, unless it's to record the podcast.

Being a mother is a physical job.

Yeah.

So that's like just keeps me on my feet all day.

I don't even have to work out.

Speaking of working out, I know what you're talking about.

And if I want to work out, then I'll just take them in the stroller.

Literally.

Yeah.

Speaking of working out, I don't want to stop talking about you, but I just did want to just, you know, bring up a personal anecdote, if I may.

We're two weeks away from the 5K.

I've made enormous strides in my 5K journey.

Like really.

Really pun intended.

No pun intended.

Yesterday, I pretty much ran three miles, two eight.

Okay.

I'm getting there.

Like, and I'm, and I felt so good afterwards.

I didn't feel like I needed to collapse.

So, while my overall time, when I ran the first 5K, and I literally like seriously had to go to the hospital, what was it, like 42 minutes?

And I did it here in your gym.

I'll probably have a similar time.

Maybe I'll show you a few minutes, but I will be able to go on with my day.

Like, I won't lose.

You'll be able to speak to people and network because don't forget, like, the main goal of this is not for you to be in the best shape of your life.

It's for networking.

Oh, right.

Yeah, you've lost sight.

I have completely lost sight of the 5K.

I'm going to put it in.

Putting your personal health and wellness above your job,

your career in our business, unacceptable.

I agree.

I need to sort of like get my head screwed on straight.

And if they're walking, you're going to have to walk.

Oh, no, no.

If the big wigs are like in the back holding court,

slow your ass down.

Yeah, I guess.

But the thing is, the big wig, like, I think the biggest wig showing up the 5K, I believe, is Joe Rogan.

And you know, he's not walking.

It's literally going to be me and Joe at the front.

Oh, so you want to catch up to Joe?

I think everyone's literally going to be running after Joe.

Interesting.

Also, I feel like, I don't even know if I knew this or if I mentioned it, but like a bunch of podcasters, comedians, whatever are running it separately.

It's also like open to the public 5K, like an hour prior.

So I feel like a lot of people have gone on this 5K journey with me.

And if you live in the LA area, like feel free to sign up.

And then you can, if you want to, like wait for me at the finish line and be like, ta-da, da-da-da-da.

Or maybe you'll be waiting for them.

No, they run first.

So who's running second?

Just famous people?

Yeah.

How many?

I'm not sure, actually.

I hope it's like a decent amount because if it's very few, I feel like everyone's going to be looking at me.

And do they know that you're coming?

Yeah, of course.

I spoke to to Bert.

You spoke to Bert.

Oh, I spoke to Bert.

Bert had graphics made for me.

Like, please, I'm going.

Oh, they know.

Yeah.

And I think, like I said, Ben's coming with me.

And I asked Josh Peck to come with me too.

And Josh Peck really knows these guys.

And I feel like showing up with Josh Peck, like, it definitely elevates my street cred.

I'm definitely nervous about like the social element.

Yeah, I feel like you haven't been training as much for that.

No, I haven't because I was so focused on not embarrassing myself.

And I feel like we do need to reassess your goals for the 5K.

Like if it is about health and fitness, great.

But we just,

we need to know.

Yeah.

Let me tell you what I've learned about running.

Running outside is so intimidating.

Like I did most of my five care training up until about a week ago on the treadmill.

And I was so afraid of running outside.

I don't know what it was, like the elements, the people.

I just wasn't sure.

And just like, you know, at what point do I turn around?

I don't know.

I have spent so much time running outside these last like 10 days.

It's so amazing.

It's so much better.

Like get off the treadmill if you can.

I mean, I don't know what I'll be doing in New York.

I don't think I'll want to like run the shitty streets, but it's so fabulous.

Two, a playlist is everything.

A playlist is really everything.

It can kind of change the whole vibe.

And three, just believe in yourself, you know?

And I feel like I'm finally believing in myself and I'm really loving it.

I'm such a runner.

Yeah.

So that's a little fitness update for me.

Great.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

Today's World Book Day.

What are you reading, Demon Copperhead?

It's World Book Day.

What does that mean?

We're just like appreciating books more than usual, you know?

Okay.

Books are getting their shine today.

There are a bunch of like fake days always.

National, yeah.

National Flower Day.

National Fashional.

National Reissel Streis.

We should make our own national day, National Beautification Committee Day, because those people deserve to be appreciated.

I'm sure there literally already is.

But today is World Book Day.

So we're just appreciating books.

I've started an amazing book because, like we said, we went to Barnes and Noble, which was so

fun.

I could have just picked up so many books, but it's like, I like to read on my Kindle.

So what am I going to do with these books?

Anyways, I started the book that I bought from Barnes and Noble.

It's called Serena.

And whenever you say it, I think you're reading a book about Serena Williams.

You're calling it Serena?

Oh, Mike.

Williams?

No, like Tsarina, like the star feminine.

Yeah, like princess in Russia.

It's so good.

The cover, the quote on the cover was by Daisy Goodwin, who wrote American Heiress and also the show Victoria.

And she said, this book makes Game of Thrones look like a nursery rhyme.

Chilling.

It might drop.

And it kind of does.

Like there's some crazy stuff.

Really?

And I'm only like 100 pages in, but it's really good.

I haven't read like a historic.

I haven't read really anything in so long.

I only read for the Redheads right now, but it's so nice to be back in the saddle.

I'm so glad.

I'm in the saddle as well.

My saddle makes me want to jump off a cliff.

Demon Copperhead is so good.

It's so sad and it like keeps getting sadder.

And it's just this like little kid just living in immense poverty who literally cannot catch a break, even in the slightest.

He's hungry all the time.

Nobody will adopt him.

Like, I'm going to throw myself off a bridge.

Just literally, if nothing good happens to this kid in the next like 50 pages, like I seriously don't know if I I can finish it.

It's so depressing.

It's so heavy.

Yeah.

It's so heavy.

No one said it was going to be fun.

And he's just like this red-headed little boy.

Like, it's just make, it's really making me upset.

Yeah.

I didn't realize he's red-headed.

That's why they call him Copperhead.

That's not his last name?

No, that's like the name of the snakes that like live in the area and they're like red.

But I thought that was also his name.

No, Copperhead is like an insult.

Oh, and then they did like this whole paragraph about, and I feel like I remembered you giving me this spiel that I'm about to say on the toast and like me literally not listening

about the word hillbilly.

Like I literally won't use it anymore.

And not that I like use it, but I definitely have said it like

here and there.

Yeah.

Not anymore.

Yeah.

It was really upsetting.

Yeah.

It was like a late night.

He was watching something on late night and they said the word or something like that.

He loves to show Beverly Hillbillies.

Yeah.

And someone, like sort of like a kind of woke person in their community,

like explained

like why the word they're like laughing at you and

they like people like hillbillies like for lack of a better word have tried to sort of take it back and they compared it to like the black community's use of the n-word.

Um, but like it didn't work in that it didn't they didn't do it people still use it and it's not like even thought to be offensive.

Yeah.

And

it was interesting.

Yeah.

But um

so much has happened in the book since then and it's just all so upsetting.

Yeah, it's an upsetting book.

But hopefully I'm looking forward to flying home so people can see me reading it because I've just been reading it in your house, which is sort of like...

Useless.

It's useless.

And then when I was reading it at the hotel in Miami, I was on my Kindle.

So like literally nobody knows that I'm reading this book.

But that's why you have to use your platform to let people know.

Yeah.

Oh, actually, I did make a like a viral TikTok slash reel about it and it really kind of crushed.

So actually millions of people do know.

That's so important.

Yeah.

Because what's the point otherwise?

And when's your book club?

After the 5K.

So I have time.

My flight to LA.

I'll make a lot.

I feel like I'm like 20% in.

Yeah.

And then once you get to like 50, the last half is always easier than the first half because you care.

Yeah, that's true.

Always.

And by the way, I care.

Like getting into a book is the hardest part she gripped me she gripped you i just can't believe i'm reading a pulitzer prize winning novel so like i'm jogging i'm pulitzer prize reading it's so crazy like how sort of elevated i am and how far i've come how far you've come and how people can change yeah and you know i was thinking this morning because i was making a coffee in your home and you use uh truvia right Stevie and the Ross.

Literally same thing.

Not Splenda, basically.

We were raised on Splenda and it's just sort of who we are.

And up until I would say like literally a month ago, I was a Splenda home as well.

But another just sort of like thing I've changed is I'm, you know, using Truvia now.

You're not sprinkling chemicals into your everyday life.

I'm not using it that way.

You know what really got me?

The thing is, I didn't stop using Splenda because of being like a clean, crunchy lady.

No, migraines, my doctor had told me like that doesn't help.

Oh, interesting.

I thought it was like a cleanliness thing.

No, it was a migraines thing, which does tie back to chemicals.

But like when I was going through like, oh, and that's not the reason I was getting migraines, but it surely wasn't helping.

Well, I love Splenda, but then I saw when I was like shopping that Splenda is starting to make trivia yeah do you know that like trivia and the raw Splenda brand and I was like oh even they're abandoning ship maybe I should too yeah and it's like there's space for all healthy sugar There is

except when me and Abe were at a diner like a couple of months ago, we were talking about, you know, when you're like so hungry, you have nothing to talk about.

And the only thing at a diner on the table is like the packs of sugar.

Yeah.

We were talking about how like really these packs of sugars are so identifying.

You know, when I think of a certain pack of sugar, like I'll think of a certain group of people or even like a certain certain culture, like sweet and low is extremely Jewish.

Yeah, but I also equal is not Jewish.

I feel like sugars, like they kind of have their moment and then they're debunked.

Like for a time, it was only sweet and low and then it was only equal and then it was only splendid.

Now it's only truvia or stevia and I do stevia in the raw because I'm just like on another level.

Of course.

But like what's next?

It's very fleeting.

It is.

It's fickle for sure.

I like that.

But you know what's always like been around, tried and true?

Domino.

Sugar.

Do you feel though the call about how like you can like picture the type of person who's picking up each pack?

Yeah, because like they were in their heyday when that was in their heyday.

Like I'll probably always use Steve and the Run.

Like that's going to date me.

At some point, but right now it's keeping you young.

Right.

But like what are the kids using?

Monk fruit?

You know what?

I love that.

You know what uses monk fruit?

Spritz.

The kids are using monk fruit.

Natural.

Yeah, that's right.

Spritz.com.

And I'm left behind already.

Yeah, you're already like getting dated.

So who knows what will be next?

Sugar is like just constantly evolving, constantly changing, just like dirty.

I love that.

So we've got a great show.

Jax, tell me a little bit about the stories.

How are we?

They're like five stories that they could have been in any order.

They're all equally important and unimportant.

I absolutely love that.

So it's very fair and balanced, I would say, not weighted.

Not biased?

Well, we are biased.

Of course, we never said we weren't.

No, did we?

No.

Without further ado, did it do to do, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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our first story a little more tortured poets news everyone is still processing digesting the album more thoughts more easter eggs more discoveries discoveries including emma stone was credited on the song florida from the album so emma stone has been credited for contributing quote oddities to taylor's new album the tortured poets department um

she released the

like credit credit track list and everything it's listed that she had quote oddities added to the tract.

No further information was provided about exactly what the double Oscar winner added to the final song.

The Swifties will figure it out.

I feel like,

and

I'd be curious if was Emma Stone like a credited for anything in the thanks or whatever on When Emma Falls in Love?

Because that's like a song we know to be about Emma Stone.

Because at first I was like, well, Emma Stone's obviously not singing.

Maybe this

message or the story in the song is inspired by something that happened to Emma and she's giving credit.

But then she would have done that on When Emma Falls in Love.

So no, maybe there's like,

let me look up something else.

You know, on London Boy, when at the very, very beginning, I think it's Idris Elba, she samples like something he said in a James Corden interview one time, go riding on Mia Scooter.

Is he credited there?

Like maybe it's something like that.

Or maybe like when they were shouting Florida in the studio, like she just like banged on a drum.

Okay, that's obviously it does.

Right?

That's, because you have to also think, it's not like she's credited in the credits.

Like, she's credited as oddities.

So it's something weird and random.

Credits on London Boy.

Maybe she added some shouting.

Yeah, he's not on here.

Idris Elba.

So like, hmm.

It's interesting.

Oddities.

That song when Emma Falls in Love is like literally one of my favorites.

I also like love Emma Stone.

I know that's not like a hot take or anything.

No.

She's just like kind of America's sweetheart, unproblematic queen, super talented, really gorgeous.

La la la land, obviously.

I just really like her.

Or maybe like when they were in the studio, like Emma went and got coffee or like brought cookies.

Like, and so she's credited.

They do say, actually, they do say

a person really just needs to be in the room to be put on the songwriting credits.

It's like sort of the...

Like the song in songwriting culture you could have contributed like literally one word and you just stood in the room the entire time and they put you on there and that's why they say like a lot of artists who don't write their own songs are just in the rooms where the songs are being written.

So they put themselves as songwriters in the credits, but they're not, you know, really contributing to the songwriting process.

I don't know.

Especially because I feel like Taylor's like thing is her songwriting.

And I think she's really proud that a lot of her albums have a ton of self-written music.

And oftentimes, you know, the only other songwriters are like Jack Antonoff, who was obviously in the room as a producer, Aaron Dessner, things like that.

So for her to just like, she's not willy-nilly with her songwriting credits.

Yeah.

And it's not even like she got a songwriting credit.

She got an oddities credit.

And also, what is that?

What is that?

It could be anything.

Probably some inside joke.

Okay.

Maybe like Emma contributed to like a funny, like odd line.

Who knows?

Yeah, or maybe, you know, you have friends who like always say like kind of crazy things and then you start saying them too.

And then maybe Taylor like started putting that in your song.

She's like, why did I start saying this phrase?

You know how I always say like literally.

I literally, I got that from hanging out with Brian, you know, like you just start talking like you're friends.

Maybe that's it.

Maybe like, you know, you get home from camp.

Yeah.

Maybe it's something that oddities.

I don't know.

The oddity is just is throwing me off.

Right.

Well,

congrats, Grads.

Does she still make money from it with her oddities?

Yes.

Oh, that was also another thing that we need to talk about with the TTPD

album recap yesterday is, I don't know where it came out, but it was a pretty like trusted source that

Joe was a songwriter on a bunch of Taylor songs that are so popular.

Like he probably will never have to work again.

How do you think that makes her feel?

Fine.

Okay.

Like I think she's fine with him.

Like he doesn't deserve misery.

And I think when she put him on the song, it's not like she was like a naive young first boyfriend, like didn't realize things could go wrong.

I think she recognized like, even if we don't work out, he'll make money from this.

Okay.

Yeah.

Especially if he did help her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And contributed really.

It wasn't like a handout for her and be like, you want to come right?

Right.

Or I'll put you on one song.

You can make money for the rest of your life.

Right.

It's just giving like a little charity.

You know, he's obviously like, he's not like the most famous actor.

No, but if he helped, like if he wrote a, you said, if he was in the room, he was in the room.

Work is work.

You know what else I was thinking about?

And if she, if it really bothered her, I feel like she would stop performing those songs.

Kind of how she like, or she would like re-record them,

like the re-recordings.

But like, you can't, you can't live like that.

No, you can't live like that.

But she does.

Re-recording every time someone from like your previous life, just so they don't benefit.

Like the scooter thing is obviously different, but like, no, she can't re-record all of Joe's songs and like change them.

How many are there?

Would you guess?

Look it up.

William Bowery, like songwriting credits.

There's a bunch, and it's really from her most popular, like, folklore.

William Bowery.

And, like, she was at home during COVID with him.

Like, I think he might have been helping.

Every song Taylor Swift co-wrote with ex-boyfriend Joe Alwin.

Ready?

Thank you, Us Weekly, for doing the work.

Exile, which is the Bony Bear one.

Betty.

Betty, yeah.

Champagne Problems.

I mean, literally one of Taylor's biggest songs.

Coney Island, Evermore, and Sweet Nothing.

It's significant.

Yeah, I think he did significant.

I'm sure he actually.

He did significant work.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because they were home alone, like writing songs together, maybe.

And I, that, that's not the most surprising thing.

He seems artistic.

He's a tortured poet.

And we always say that like people who act like are theater nerds.

So they all have like songwriting and singing abilities.

Yeah.

So are.

She can't hold on to everything.

I think that's something that she's, if she has, like, I think that she's made peace with.

And if she hasn't, like, she absolutely hasn't.

No, you're right.

You can't hold on to everything.

Yeah.

She's holding on to a few things.

She holds on to a few things and no one's taking them away from her.

No, like the Kim, the Scott Borschetta slash Scooter Braun.

Like those are things she's not letting go those are her roman empires and you're right and especially the fact that like didn't the album didn't seem to drag joe no deeply or sad joe it was respectful i think for the most part also i listened to a little bit more music today i listened to the song cassandra which people say is also about the kardashians and i listened to the song peter which i really love they say it's like a cardigan sort of

sequel and it's clearly about maddie healy and it's all about you know never growing up and she met maddie um it says he was 25 and it was so clearly that they were the right for each other but they both needed to grow up and then he came back and he wasn't grown up, whatever.

And Kristen, our friend Kristen, posted on her Instagram that there are two songs that Taylor has written that are like, that name significant people in her life.

Her husband's name is Peter and Willow, that was the name of their dog.

Now, Willow, the song came out first and then she liked the name, whatever.

And I was so jealous.

Like, oh.

Oh my God.

There are a few things like that.

The song, Olivia Oshray doesn't even know how lucky she is.

Something like Olivia, John Mayer, and then Olivia One Direction.

There's no Claudia songs.

What I had growing up was Gloria Estefan, Calling Gloria.

And we used to to sing, Calling Claudia.

That's all I have.

And it's not even good.

Like, I was so jealous when she posted that.

Like, my two boys, I was like, oh, bitch.

So you wish that Cassandra was called Claudia?

No, that's not what I'm saying.

I'm just.

And there was also like Sam and Chloe and Marcus and Amy, Sophia.

So like those are five names that, and you didn't make it.

Yeah, no.

Like,

yeah.

Is your name in anything or like Zach's name or your kids' names like anything that you think and it makes you think like you know um in songs yeah not in songs

no but i'll see like harry and char like in the oh you'll see it in life see like a headline like charles and harry feud well of course what's so funny is i never think like oh my god that's my like they're so

even when we talk about like prince harry all the time i have to remember like oh That's my son's name.

When I think of Prince Harry, I do also think of your son.

When we talk about Charles, first of all, we, is Charlie's real name Charles?

Yeah.

We've literally never called him that once and nobody calls King Charles Charlie.

Yeah.

The two couldn't be more different.

Yeah.

But Harry, yes, I do think that's a good thing.

Technically, I was always reading their names.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But like, I just saw that Chrissy posted that, and I was just wanting to come and, you know, I be the green-eyed monster.

And I feel like I just come on the show and talk about things that other people have that I'm jealous of, and that's one of them.

Okay.

And I feel like there's a lot of songs like

that have like random names in them and people just like get to have that and that's like their song.

Well, I feel like it's never too late.

You know, she could put out her next album and there could be a Claudia.

Claudia is also a hard.

It's a lot of syllables.

A lot of syllables.

What the hell rhymes with Claudia?

Oh, you know who has a song called Claudia?

Who?

Phineas.

You're lying.

You want to listen?

No, I don't want to listen to it because I'm not getting demonetized for that annoying, like, fuck.

But I guess that makes sense that it's his girlfriend.

But it's funny when you search Claudia on Spotify.

Like, it's all you.

But that's good too.

Oh, wait.

You have ISEO.

Wait, nobody write a song.

Nobody write a song.

So first the toast, then Claudia Acheray, the artist.

Spotify is like, is using your data?

I don't really listen to, I don't listen to the toast on Spotify.

I guess I go for sometimes the episode link, but.

No,

your data is fucked.

But I'd like the theory.

And that's sort of, you know,

nothing here is really bigger than you.

Yeah, I don't know what you would search in like a did in like a media platform like Spotify that would come up before me.

No, nothing.

All right.

I changed.

I changed what I said.

Nobody write anything with my name in it.

So I will continue to, you know, dominate search results.

All the podcasts you've guested on,

everything is coming up, Turdy Lou, when you search Claudia.

So take a negative, make it a positive.

That's what I love about you.

Your POV on life is always just leaning towards the positive.

And look, here I was like lamenting being jealous and green and ugly.

And you want to be like you want to be like everyone else with a common name.

So true.

No, she's one of a kind.

Meanwhile, Bruno has a song about him.

We don't talk about Bruno.

No, no.

And Bruno also is like, oh my God, we never even spoke about it.

Did you see the story that came out about Bruno Mars?

No.

That he allegedly is in like insane gambling debt and he owes like MGM or one of those win-maybe biggest properties $50 million.

I don't like that.

I don't like that either, but it does kind of track.

I feel like I've heard like for years.

Well, then wouldn't he be working more?

Wouldn't he get a residency at wherever he owes them money and says, I'll work it off?

So I thought the same thing, by the way.

But he is working by the way.

He's on like this global tour, like literally milking 24 karat magic for all it's worth.

And that's why we haven't seen him here in the States and he's not been releasing any music.

I think he's working on paying off his debts, but I thought the same thing about literally parking his ass at a residency and being able to work off your debts.

Yeah.

What would they pay Bruno Mars for a residency?

A lot.

Yeah.

And we would benefit.

Because now it also got me thinking, because I don't know what made me think about Bruno Mars the other day, but I was thinking about how like Taylor Swift is so big.

And I was thinking who's on her level and Bruno Mars for a time, oh my God, you couldn't touch him.

And he is so supremely talented in every element.

He's really the definition of a triple threat.

So he writes his own songs and he's so talented.

The dancing, the actual voice, the performing, he's really can fire on all cylinders.

And I was like, where in the world is Bruno Mars?

And then people let me know that he's, you know, dodging a gambling debt.

Wow, Bruno.

Bruno is his namesake.

Hopefully Bruno doesn't sort of follow in that negative, like let that be his role model.

No, Bruno's fatal flaw is that he'll spend it all on Magnolia.

That is a fatal flaw.

Yeah.

And

he also invested

in crypto and he lost it all.

Oh, wow.

I didn't know that about Bruno.

Yeah.

I'm definitely looking at him differently.

Yeah.

No, he was trying to like save so he could start a life with Magnolia, get a house.

And then like he was in FTX.

Sam Bakeman Freed took it all.

Got it.

Yikes.

Bruno's like in a class action action lawsuit.

It's a mess.

It is a mess.

I also heard he was like an early investor in WeWork.

Is that true?

Oh, yeah, because he just loves community.

But also, I feel like we can't only talk about Bruno's bad investments.

He was obviously one of the first people at Facebook, which was huge for him.

And that's how he bought this house.

Yeah, it's true.

And that was amazing.

But he's really proud of him.

He's had some tough losses.

Who hasn't?

And that's why he's now back working on the show after retirement.

Let me ask you a question.

What's the worst financial decision you've ever made?

Oh, the one that last week.

That you're currently working through?

Yeah.

The one that I'm currently working through.

Let me think.

What was the worst financial decision I ever made?

Like money down the drain.

I don't know.

I feel like everybody has like a Roman Empire finance version.

Yeah.

Things they wish they either never purchased, invested in.

I'm not sure.

I'll have to think about it.

It definitely exists.

Yeah, mine was just last week.

Yours is just recent, so it's fresh.

Oh, it's fresh.

Oh, yes.

Are you?

What lessons need to be learned the hard way?

I am ready.

What number is this?

Two.

Like, you must be.

Chris Pratt and Catherine Schwarzenegger are facing backlash for demolishing a historic LA home.

I heard about this.

Chris Patt and Catherine Schwarzenegger are under fire for raising an architecturally significant house they purchased last year.

According to the Rob Report, the couple bought the Zimmerman house in L.A.'s Brentwood neighborhood off market for $12.5 million in January 2023.

Shortly after, they demolished the mid-century building designed by esteemed mid-century architect Craig Elwood and began construction on a new home for themselves.

The previous owners were Sam Rolfe, the co-creator of classic TV shows, The Man from Uncle, and Have Gun, Will Travel, and

Uncle.

Yeah, and his wife Hilda.

Chris and Catherine reportedly were drawn to the property for its proximity to a home by her mom.

A post on the LA Conservancy's Instagram account describes the 1950 Zimmerman house as a noteworthy example of modernist design from this era, adding that the house was identified as potentially historic, but no protections were currently afforded.

Permit records obtained by the Rob Report reportedly show that the new house is being built and its place is designed by LA architect Ken Unger, known for his modern farmhouse style mansions.

It's going to be like another cookie cutter or like whatever.

Yeah.

People are a big mad.

The thing is, like they bought it.

Like they're, they can do what they want.

And like it's unfortunate.

Would it have been better if some of the person who bought it had a deep admiration and respect for this architect who I never heard of?

Yes, that would be lovely.

But that's not the way the world works.

It wasn't significant enough to get landmark status.

And you know what?

People are allowed to do what they want with things they spent $12 million on.

No, totally.

I feel like people are going to be mad at these two, no matter what they do but so many things are landmarked and are protected that it's not like out of the realm of possibility that this could have been a contender but it's not and like leave them alone at this la conservancy like blowing up their spot then why didn't you landmark it then no no you buy it you care so you buy it and save it and and keep it old and fresh yeah i

i i'm not gonna be mad at these two Not also to be so mean.

And I also don't know a lot about architecture, but I've heard of the greats, you know?

I haven't heard of, what was his name, Rob?

Craig elwood

no and like craig elwood built other homes like go find them and bother them yeah no i'm i'm not caring yeah i feel like what i always wind up like defending like chris pratter and it's like not even like i have a dog in this fight but like the way people will reach yeah they get hate too they get so much hate they literally cannot take one step without being like but you didn't take that step with anna farris yeah no it all goes back to anna farris because and also like people perceiving like one time that he slighted their child but he didn't but he didn't.

If you read the facts, he didn't slight their child and the child's health.

Like he wouldn't, he didn't and he would never.

Like people are insane to even think that.

I do think in real life, Chris Pratt is a dick.

Like I think he's like one of those, you know, formerly fat turned hot movie star.

Like he's an asshole.

And I remember that.

Do you remember being formerly fat keeps him real?

No, actually.

I think like formerly fat who then like become Marvel, like it's, it's a really toxic pipeline.

I really, and I think somebody interviewed him once, or maybe I'm getting that confused with Miles Teller, and just basically said he was like an asshole.

And I'm sure he is, like, just a Hollywood asshole, but like, he's still allowed to, you know, buy a house and build it.

Where do you get that vibe from?

Like, from...

I don't know where I get that vibe from.

I'm trying to originate.

On your mind or things you've heard or you met him or just like, that's what people say about him.

I don't know.

I've never met him.

I feel like Chris Pratt's misunderstood.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

The misunderstanding of Christopher Pratt.

Because like Catherine Schwarzenegger seems like the loveliest person.

Yeah.

She seems like really down-to-earth, organic.

Like so, so sweet.

Yeah, that like she had, you know,

just like giving him her Catherine stamp of approval.

That means something.

That's true.

But I also think regarding to this one particular story, you know, where do we draw the line?

Yeah.

Everything is a part of history.

Everything ever built.

No, and like they tear down actually like culturally significant places all the time.

I mean, the old Penn Station.

Right.

You know?

I do.

so why this random house and seriously what would they do with this house if they kept like if they don't want to live in a house that style that's their prerogative but say they couldn't buy the house because it was a landmark blah blah blah then what would it be just like a house that sits there the house that built me the world moves on and you know like i appreciate and respect history so you can't even say that about me no and like every like who's to say you know everyone's childhood home gets raised if you will and that's a part of history my personal history right we could we could it's all very subjective So I don't care.

That's just kind of my thesis.

Yeah.

No, and I just don't think this is like a big crime.

Crime.

Agreed.

Now, if it was a Frank Lloyd Wright home, but that one would already be protected.

Are all Frank Lloyd Wright homes protected?

Either they are in like an official capacity or culturally.

Like no, literally, absolutely no one.

Only, you know, from a financial point of view, if you don't even give a shit about architecture, you would never destroy a Frank Lloyd Wright.

You could sell a piece of shit on the corner for $10 million.

So you're not stupid.

Now, I don't know if if like in the government that's done but it hasn't been done because no one's stupid yeah

well our next story the celebs

david beckham sues mark wahlberg's company i heard this but i don't know the details so two fitness titans are on a path to square off in court because david beckham has sued mark wahlberg's company over a fitness deal that made the former soccer star weigh lighter in the wallet Beckham's company, DB Ventures, alleges in the lawsuit that F45 duped him into signing on with F45 Training, a company in which Wahlberg has 36% interest.

Mark Wahlberg also serves as the company's chief brand officer.

Beckham, who got close to Mark when he moved to California to play for the LA Galaxy, became F45's global ambassador.

You know, David has millions of social media followers, so presumably you expand the company.

And what kind of company is it?

Like

Athleisia?

F-45 Training.

So it's like a fitness company.

Yeah, like the equipment looks like F-45 branded.

Like Nordic Track Energy.

Yeah, it might be bigger than that.

Okay.

But that's what I'm seeing based on the pictures.

Nordic track is huge by the way well things didn't work out beckham says he never got the ten million dollars he was promised this was after the company stock tanked by the way and now the posts have been deleted that he had like forced but f45 asked the judge to throw out the lawsuit calling it fraudulent but the judge said the case will move on why what was their reasoning for getting it thrown out did you pay him

Oh my god the boys are fighting.

But I also feel like the company is defunct now.

Yeah, of course.

They can't pay him.

But like,

David Beckham's a businessman, I feel like you get paid at least like a penny before you start doing the work.

Yeah.

And he would have done his research.

Like $10 million is a lot of money from a company you've never heard of.

So you would do your due diligence before signing being like, can this company afford me?

Yeah.

Interns.

So awkward.

That's a friendship killer.

It is.

It is.

And these two, I feel, run in similar like circles.

They're very A-list.

They're very Hollywood.

They're very like older man.

Yeah.

Very athletic.

I feel like they both go to a lot of sporting events.

Like they would be seated next to each other at like a, you know, basketball playoff game.

Not anymore.

Not anymore.

I stand with David Beckham because, you know, they can never make me hate him.

No.

And it sounds like he's a victim.

Yeah.

Mark Wahlberg's good too.

I like Mark Wahlberg.

He doesn't bother me and I find him handsome and Ted is like one of my favorite movies and I really have no issue with him and that picture of him when he was young in the Calvin Klein ad, like I enjoy.

But you stand with David.

Oh

And honestly, when Mark Wahlberg like did that whole PR thing where he told everyone his morning routine, it was really crazy.

It was really crazy to get up at 3 a.m., work out, pray, have breakfast, take a shower, work out again, and then like, it was really so nutty.

Honestly, we're just, we're not for each other.

I respect it, though.

I respect it.

I don't like it, but I respect it.

Yeah.

Like, nice if you can do it.

No, and she's like, really, nobody needs that.

Like, nobody, especially he's not even like a professional athlete.

Like, he's like an out-of-work actor, you know?

Yeah.

And I, I understand caring about health and fitness in yourself,

of course, but like to an extent.

Yeah.

Well, are you ready for our next story, number four?

Oh, no.

Oh my God.

I'm sorry.

No.

Is it our, oh my God, I'm so flustered.

You totally caught me off guard.

Her Kurtz.

Her curts.

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Our next story, Alec Baldwin smacks the phone out of an anti-Israel agitator who demanded he say free Palestine in a coffee shop.

So Alec Baldwin was caught on camera in a coffee shop in New York City yesterday, and there is an agitator who's repeatedly demanding that he say free Palestine in the coffee shop.

So they continue to follow him around the store.

He asks the person to leave.

He holds the door open.

He says the person.

Can you say free Palestine?

He doesn't answer.

They say, can you say fuck Israel?

Can you say fuck Zionism?

And then Alec Baldwin smacks the phone out of the hand.

So they could never make me hate David Beckham, but they, I thought, could never make me like Alec Baldwin.

But here comes a mentally ill pro-Palestinian, I don't even know what to call.

Agitator, agitator, harasser, terrorist sympathizer.

There's a lot.

And here I am standing Alec Baldwin.

And they say like Alec Baldwin is like crazy and whatever.

I thought he was so measured.

And he let that mentally ill person harass him for minutes before he slapped the phone out of her.

And honestly, you couldn't torture me like that for less than three seconds without me slapping you.

So I have to say, he felt like he's really gotten his temper under control.

He's all calm and collected.

And honestly, I didn't know where the video was going.

I was watching the video and they were like, wait till the end, wait till the end.

And I'm like, oh my God, he's letting this person just attack and torture.

And oh, it was just, it's such a fabulous video to watch.

Yeah, really a beautiful moment.

I mean, these people who have just.

Oh, they've really gotten so out of control.

They've gotten so out of control.

This is actually small potatoes compared to what they're doing on college campuses, shutting down highways, airports, and with all of their their like terrorist supporting rhetoric.

I don't want to spoil the ending for you guys, but these are not the good guys.

No, and for real, like anyone who's running around a college campus is like waving a Hamas flag.

Dude, dude, do the FBI, like these are domestic terrorists.

No, but they get suspended and now they're already reinstated back on campus.

Columbia had to shut down all in-person classes and now they've moved to a remote schedule till the end of the semester because like terrorists have literally overrun their campus.

It's the most insane thing.

It is so crazy.

And

my favorite, like there's so many subplots going on, but obviously everyone's talking about what's going on at Columbia University where like they took to the middle of campus, they pitched tents and they're like, we're not leaving until Columbia stops aiding and abetting the genocide, which is so not, I can't even get into it.

But a bunch of, you know, these domestic terrorists were arrested, these college students.

And because they were arrested, they lost, you know, their campus housing and whatever.

Elon Omar, who's like a congresswoman, her daughter is like, I'm homeless.

I'm like, your mom's a congresswoman.

you'll be completely fine but one of the students who was arrested and it's all these like i mean who goes to columbia university it's ninety thousand dollars a year it's these really privileged more morons and

the names of the students who have been arrested for being terrorists have been released and one of them is this girl whose dad is like a major major executive at ups she lives in like a three million dollar home in atlanta um she's oppressed her d she's oppressed and she's also a murderer like it was so crazy so there's people are doing you know deep dives on who these kids are they obviously are radicalized and they should be put on some sort of watch list And so somebody did like the smallest bit of research on this UPS girl.

Her name is Isabel.

And she literally murdered two people when she was 16.

She like veered her car in the middle of the road and killed this elderly couple.

Her

punishment was a $200 fine.

And she like literally moved on with her life.

She went, how do you get into Columbia when you've killed two people?

Like it's the craziest thing.

How are you not in jail?

And the family of this elderly couple is now speaking out because they're like, finally, people are talking about our grandparents were killed.

And they were like, this family is disgusting.

They've literally shown no remorse.

This girl went on with her life.

And you know what?

I've I've literally never lived for like any story other than this girl who like, oh, like, I'm oppressed.

I live in a $3 million home.

And my parents spend $90,000 a year to send me to this idiotic university.

And I've killed two people.

That was a plot twist.

I personally wasn't.

I did not see that coming.

No, it's absolutely wild, covering their faces.

These are actual terrorist, terrorist sympathizers.

They're like covering their faces.

Dumping for terrorism.

They're not even trying to hide it.

No, they are trying to hide it because they're literally.

They're not hiding their faces, but the things that they're saying,

like

kill Tel Aviv, kill the jews kill the zionists like it's so it's all out there like if you know it's good and evil we tried to tell you guys you know who else used to cover their faces at their rallies and protests the kkk like yeah

i can't i do kind of like obviously what's happening is so scary but it's so insane and i do feel like people are really um

like seeing the movement for what it is which is a pro-terror movement and I am enjoying it.

I can't lie.

Like, not that it's good, you know, that

Jewish students are literally being told to go home.

Yeah, they're told that it's not safe for them on campus.

They have to go home.

But like, it's so-the world needs to see this.

And also, people are seeing, like, what's been going on on college campuses.

Like, these people have been radicalized and indoctrinated while they've been there.

I mean, now Jewish donors are pulling their money.

Like, thanks, Robert Kraft.

You're a little late.

Yeah, no, I was surprised that Robert Kraft pulled his funding, not because he shouldn't have, but because who I fuck is still donating to these terror factors.

And also, it's like, and it's nice that you made your announcement.

You must be really proud, but now we we think

you should have done it quietly because now we're realizing you've been donating like this whole time since October 7th, like still donating.

Right.

No, the college campuses have been really bad for a while.

So a lot of people pulled their money months ago, which I thought was even too late.

But of course, because it's been happening.

Right.

And Robert Craft has been like really good.

And, you know, he's like a huge supporter of Israel.

And he's like a great Jew and very philanthropic.

And he, it's, he was the one who started the organization Stop Jewish Hate, like, or Steph Anti says, one of those.

The blue box.

Blue Square.

So he's obviously someone who's Klug, you know?

No, that was really crazy.

And surprising.

I'm not, he's not the problem here.

Better late than never.

Yeah.

But you're really late.

So.

And he's not the problem here.

But it's all part of one big problem.

We've got a baldwin problem.

Alec Baldwin, queenie of the week.

Queenie of the week.

I agree.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I am.

Kim Kardashian went on Jimmy Kim Alive, clearing up some rumors about herself and acting, you know, like the sun is shining, which I think for her, it is shining.

Okay.

You think?

No, no.

I think her life remains unaffected.

You think you Amy got her down?

No, not at all.

But I do find,

and I think these things are pre-scheduled.

I wouldn't have done an interview like on release week because not being asked about it when it's the one thing people are talking about is so obvious that if she didn't do any interviews, no one would think anything of it.

For sure, but she is promoting American horror story that she's doing.

Okay.

And they did a segment of like true or false things that people think about her, whether or not they're true.

Okay, what were they?

Is it true that you put your blow-dry your jewelry before you put it on?

She said yes, because it's cold.

That's like not crazy.

You have someone take the Starbucks sleeve off your coffee because you hate the sound of cardboard.

Yes.

The sound of cardboard.

Okay.

She also revealed that she sleeps with her eyes slightly open.

She washes her feet before bed every night and she celebrated her 14th birthday at Neverland Ranch.

Yikes.

Yikes.

Yeah.

Okay, but the feet washing thing, I kind of get.

No, it's pretty smart.

Yeah.

I mean, but they put their shoes on their bed.

Right.

I wear socks and slippers around my house.

So, like, but if I ever feel like my feet have like crumbs on them or whatever, I will like do a rinse.

Oh, I don't, but it's a nice idea.

Also, if you just shower before bed, which I usually do, it solves the problem.

That is what I do.

Maybe she's a morning showerer, though.

Oh, for sure, because she works out in the morning, for sure.

Right.

I don't know.

I feel like for us, it's like, oh my gosh, what's Kim thinking?

What's Kim thinking?

But I think for Kim, it's like, oh, my God, that crazy girl is still obsessed with me.

No, I don't think so.

You don't think, I think she's like sending it to her friends like, oh my God.

Okay.

Get over it.

I'm sounding just like that.

I might have, if it weren't for that one, Watch Happens Live interview where she was asked about it.

And she was like, no, I've moved on from that.

Like

it was clear like she didn't understand like it wasn't her saga to move on from.

And I do feel like, not that it bothered her in any way, but I think it made its way across her desk.

And she was like, oh, damn, like I'm, this isn't, this thing is not getting swept under the rug like I thought it was.

But she just mentioned it in Time also.

So Kim knows like Taylor is still mad.

And I think to like give her a song and to capitalize her name, like I think to Kim, like being in Kim's position, who's over it, is like, oh my God, this girl is crazy.

Perhaps, yes.

But also, you can't deny currently the, oh, I wanted to talk about something.

The New York Times.

So they wrote a big review on TTPD and it was slanderous.

Like it was not positive.

It was like this kind of a big deal, this major

publication doing like a really negative article on Taylor.

And they had to issue a correction because the entire article, they called her album, The Tortured Poets Society.

Relatable.

And honestly.

But like unacceptable.

Unacceptable.

But inevitable.

And are we supposed to be taking this

company seriously?

It's like you literally, you can't even get the name of the album right.

Right, right.

Like you're the new york times you guys have like fact checkers and everything we're just like spewing out stuff live on our show right and we've gotten it right at this point no and we got it wrong but we knew we were no and we were doing it like we were having fun right

they don't care much for facts it's actually impressive that they issued a correction correct correct i just thought that was funny and worth mentioning oh speaking of margo and i while we're here are gonna sit down and do a full ttpd episode it'll be video and audio and we're just gonna like chit chat about our favorite songs some theories so i posted in the Facebook group.

I'm like, me and Margo are gonna do an episode.

If you have any questions or things you want to hear about theories, whatever.

And

every single comment and question is about different theories.

Have you heard of the Red Cross theory?

I seriously, I'm not getting into it.

And I didn't even realize, and I'm like deep in the Twifty lore, how not into it I am.

What's the Red Cross theory?

I don't know.

What do you think about the prequel, sequel, antiqual?

And

I guess I thought I knew.

I know nothing.

I'm still on like TTPD 101.

I know people are like on their senior year.

Yeah.

Then they're saying like some songs are sister songs of songs from other albums or like she'll she sampled some songs and

they go together.

Again, I'm still on 101.

We're just learning the basics.

But did she do sample her own songs?

Yes, I think Death by a Thousand Cuts is sampled.

Is Mad Woman reference?

Because there was a song when I was listening.

I was like, this feels like Mad Woman's sister song.

Maybe.

I don't know.

I can see how you guys, it's a slippery slope.

There's a lot to keep up with.

And honestly, I thought I was doing a decent job, but I'm not.

So I feel like if you're looking for like a full breakdown on theories, that's not what this episode is going to be.

We're just going to be like talking about our girl, you know?

Oh, okay.

Like the theories are so crazy.

Like I know a few.

Cardigan Peter.

Like, and I actually believe that one.

Cause that's like not, it's not a theory.

It's just, it makes sense.

There's a fluid, like there's a string between the two songs.

Some of these theories, you guys, I'm not getting into it.

Like I'm really not.

It's really, it's crazy.

Who's Clara Bow?

I don't know.

Like, I really don't know.

Like, she's a person from history, right?

Yes, yes.

She just reminds me of Goofy's girlfriend, Claribo.

Okay, mom.

Yeah, no, that's literally what I'm scaving.

So.

And it's also reminding me of, like, I don't know.

I guess that's like, I feel like singing Claribo.

Scared to death.

Jackie?

I was going to make that joke like when you said Claribo, but I'm like, no one's going to know what I'm talking about.

Jackie, we have the same brain.

Well, why do I think that?

Clarabeth is scared to death to hear what the doctor will say.

And she hasn't been well since the day that she fell.

And the bruise just won't go away.

There used to be a time where I would literally hear that song and start crying.

It's so sad.

It's so sad.

I know her version.

She's the cancer song.

I know Claribo TV is probably really strong, but it's just never going to be better than Claribel RF.

Agreed.

RFV.

So that is our show.

Happy Tuesday.

Happy Passover.

We're back tomorrow.

Hope everybody has an amazing day.

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