Man Planned, Palmetto Laughed: Thursday, March 14th, 2024

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast.

And what is it, Thursday?

No, it couldn't possibly be.

We did it, Claudia.

All of our work has paid off and ushered us into the latter half of the week.

Give yourself a pat on the back.

Jackie, I almost like love Thursdays more than Fridays.

There's even more hope on the horizon.

And it is supposed to hit 70 degrees in New York.

Depression?

I don't know.

That's beautiful.

Yeah, Thursday, there's a lot of promise, opportunity.

Especially when the weather's nice.

Like, I think people treat Thursdays really differently.

The best is ahead of us.

The best is yet to come.

So I have a lot to say this morning.

I'm feeling a lot of feelings.

Oh, my God.

Okay, it's giving therapy.

By the way, could you guys die imagining Jackie in therapy?

I actually just saw such a funny tweet that made me want to go to therapy.

Let me tell you what it's like.

Oh, I saw it too.

It said

from Liz Woods' repost.

Oh my God.

I was, I laughed out loud.

I laughed out loud and said I had to go to therapy now.

It said this.

I'll get there.

Just give me a second.

Take your time.

I'm waiting in the lobby of my therapist's office and I just heard her laughing to another patient's joke.

I feel sick to my stomach.

I just want to say, I would quite literally pay millions to like be a fly on the wall of you in a therapist session.

Okay, but I feel like at least with you, I'm an open book.

There's nothing

to a therapist that you don't already know.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

No, no.

I wasn't saying that I would love to be a fly on the wall because I'm like nosy and I want to know about you.

No, bitch, I know everything.

Like, I feel like you would deconstruct that therapist's line of thinking and her entire education in a mere 30 seconds.

Yeah, if I went to therapy, I feel like when a good therapist, like a really good therapist, is so transformative, curative,

amazing.

My issue is there are too many bad therapists and people are getting.

Oh, would you say they're bad faith?

They're bad faith therapists?

I don't know if they're acting in bad faith.

I think they think they're good.

Right.

But I think a lot of people are just in like this

cycle and like circular version of therapy that they can't get out of and they're not actually getting help.

But when it comes to the fact that

it's good, like Good Morning Monster, one of my favorite books.

I think also a huge part of therapy is like assigning phrases and words to feelings.

And you hate that non-scale victory.

Yeah, but I also feel like sometimes people go into therapy because they want a diagnosis and like the therapist won't give it to them.

Like, what do you think of me?

I've been telling you everything about me.

Like, so what's the verdict?

No, do you love it?

What's the verdict, teach?

Me in therapy.

So, how did I do?

Like, you're obsessed?

What do you think?

You're literally obsessed.

Like, what's the diagnosis I can go take to my TikTok and tell everyone?

Right, right, right.

Well, today's show is so busy.

It's sick.

It's so not only.

It's sick.

And not to get into my feelings, but I was starting to talk about this when I was talking about it.

Oh, yeah.

What's what did you want to say?

A lot of things.

First of all, we can't talk about today's show yet without talking about what went down last night on the Patreon.

I agree.

Like the funniest podcast ever.

Claudia and I did a live show on our Patreon.

If you were there,

completely live.

If you

haven't seen it you need to head over to our patreon.com slash the toast because i feel like that episode is integral to the toast moving forward

i agree like we're going to be referencing or not referencing moments from that live show from here in perpetuity so if you want to really be in the know you absolutely need to watch the absolute shit show that was put on by your girls via patreon live podcasting it was so so funny i had such a good time

i had such a good time too last i was so busy with love is blind i kind of forgot about it I know.

I definitely forgot about yesterday's episode.

I was watching clips and I was like, was that?

I was watching them yesterday.

I was like, is that today?

Right.

By the way, I love that cardigan.

Thank you.

I love it.

I feel like, is there like a classic picture of you in that cardigan sitting in your old living room podcasting?

Yes, because it was my first podcast back from my first maternity leave.

There's just kind of like a picture that will go and toast her story.

Yeah.

And you're wearing that sweater.

It's a great sweater.

You could wear it postpartum, pre-partum, in partum.

Love that.

The brand is Olivia Rubin.

Great, great brand.

Gorgeous tings, gorgeous tings.

You get it on Revolve.

So was that your feeling?

That was one feeling, just making mention of that.

What was it again?

I forgot.

Freaking Fred.

Oh, yes, of course.

It was just a blast.

We really dove into the Kate Middleton theories, broke it down from almost a human and more psychological perspective, if you will.

Yes, we dove into a lot.

We couldn't be tied down.

We couldn't.

By any one subject.

And we're not going to be tied down by any one subject today because we've got, you know, pre-Fast Five banter.

Your girlies have to catch up with one another.

We've got the Fast Five.

We've got the Love is Blind reunion that we both watched last night.

And we've got yesterday's postponement of Dear Toasters, which had I put together that Love is Blind.

If I had thought this week out more thoroughly, I would have put Dear Toasters on Tuesday.

Tuesday, but actually, it works out because Love is Blind is going to be our fifth story.

The recap will be our fifth story.

That way, we're not here for two hours.

And the stories are

there's only four of them, so that works out.

Okay, wait.

Also, I have a major update, and I'm going to give it to you in charades.

Okay, okay, it's not charades, it's more so I'm acting it out.

Charades, okay, but you don't have to do like one

right, right?

Okay,

zero days without accidents.

Yes!

Oh my god!

So, yes, Romeo had an accident, and Nami on the podcast being like, yeah, well, now that Ben's got, he's not going to have any accidents because I'm so great and Ben is dumb.

I couldn't even, you know, I couldn't follow my own advice.

I did exactly what I think that Ben does, which is when he has accidents.

You know, I was like, Romeo, you've been so good.

You know, I don't have to put you in, like, I have a schedule.

I'm like, you know what?

Take some free time for yourself.

Boom, peanut in my kitchen.

I must learn.

It's just so sad to put him in the crate.

I feel like Ben.

Wow.

I know.

The teacher becomes the student.

But I will become the master yet again by the end of this week.

So great morning with Tro.

I've been waking up early, spending some time with him, you know, getting him nice and tired before I leave for a few hours.

It's good.

It's good.

Give Romeo grace.

By the way, they loved the word grace on the Love is Blind reunion.

Did you feel like they really overused it?

No, I feel like it's the sort of word that, as of yet, I know I'll regret saying this, can't be overused because it's really, one, it's a beautiful word.

It's a really nice concept.

And I feel like it's one of those things, like, we can't even, we can't give enough grace if we tried.

The limit does not exist on grace.

Okay, it's giving good Christian woman.

That's me.

GCB.

We need that show.

I was just going to say, GCB, Christian Chenoweth, the most amazing show on the planet.

Actually, you know what?

I feel like maybe if I re-watched it, would I even like it?

Yes.

Yes, but it's a one-season wonder.

So it's just, it's very upsetting.

But they kept saying they were going to redo it.

Redo it, not bring it back, but like try it again.

Did you feel like it was on its way to becoming the next Desperate Housewives?

And was it created by Mark Cherry?

I don't think it was created by Mark Cherry.

It could have been the next Desperate Housewives if everyone kind of stepped their pussies up.

Yeah.

It could have been the next, I feel like maybe it was filmed on the same set as Wisteria Lane, which they use for everything, by the way.

If you watch Desperate Housewives and you really get to know the set and the streets, you will see that set and those streets reflected in millions of other TV shows.

It's in Heart of Dixie.

Like, it's in everything.

It's a great street.

It's a great street and it's still like

up.

I actually did a tour of Universal Studios, and I was on Wisteria Lane.

They use it for everything.

Have I told this story before?

Yes, the charity has been on Wisteria Lane.

And it's not Mark Cherry.

I just wanted to double check.

Oh my God, she's done it.

It's true.

Okay, so then I have to share my other feeling that I felt last night.

Oh, my God.

Jackie being emotional.

Okay.

Now, Claudia, I feel like you because something really harrowing happened that ruined my night.

You saw a mouse?

You saw a mouse?

Not a mouse.

It ruined my night.

A palmetto?

I had my whole night set up.

Lib,

reunion, then I was going to watch

drives until I fell asleep.

And Zach was out last night.

He went to the movies and Bruno and I are curled up.

It's always when they're at the movies.

It's always when Bruno and I are curled up watching Love is Blind.

And I was it?

Corner of my eye.

In my bathroom, I see the biggest bug, like a palmetto, but I swear it was Ant-Man.

It was

huge.

Like give it to me like in, you know, like a finger, like how big?

So the way I remembered it, I would say like it was the size of your foot.

Maybe maybe the length of my pointer finger.

That's long.

That's a really big bug.

And it was just walking slowly from my bathroom into my closet.

It's giving leisure.

It was giving leisure.

Walks into my closet.

I'm frozen.

I can't go in there there

again, burn it down.

Go and kill it.

Like, I just have to wait for Zach to get home.

He's seeing

two, which is.

Wait, wait.

Wait, that's kind of crazy.

I shut the door in my closet.

I stuffed a towel under the door.

But they can get out through like vents and cracks and outlets.

You definitely, did you not get in?

Just wait.

Okay.

So I, no, Claudia, I couldn't go in there and face this beast.

No, I know, but like the alternative of him getting away.

Well, I shut the door in my closet and I put a towel under the door.

And if he was as slow moving as...

But but

Claudia, he could have flown for all I knew.

He was huge.

I would have put a bowl on top of it or something or a cup.

No, if I'm approaching it, I would have killed it.

I knew I was going to use my dossier perfume box because it was big and heavy.

Not there being a truck outside the window.

I can't podcast in the city anymore.

I was frozen in time, but I shut the door and I put a towel under the door waiting for Zach to get home from the movie, a three-hour fucking movie.

Yeah, of course.

God forbid he sees, you know, a short.

So, of course, I couldn't go to sleep after the the reading and I stayed up watching Beverly Hills.

I was up till midnight when Zach finally got home and I sent him into my closet.

And as he's in there looking, I go and now I can go about my nightly routine.

I go into my bathroom.

Oh, my God.

And I just take a look, see in my bathroom, make sure he didn't bring any friends.

And behind my tub is, not behind, to the side, to the side of my tub is a dead palmetto.

Is he on his back?

He's on his back.

Dead, super dead.

And in order to sleep at night, like I need to believe that it's the same one that went into my closet because Zach never found anything.

Oh my God, you think

it has to be.

It has to be, Claudia.

How would he have gotten out of the closet in your

20 minutes before I thought to shut the door to the closet?

Instead, I was just sort of like on alert, looking out the corner of my eye because I wouldn't have missed it.

But maybe I, maybe I blinked and I missed it and he missed it.

And why would he die?

Well, he wasn't out slowly.

They come out to die.

Okay, I want to be on your side here, and I I want to tell you that the one you saw is the one you saw.

Now let me ask you a question.

And the last time I saw a palmetto in my house was over a year ago.

So what are the odds on one night there's two?

Maybe I dropped pairs.

I know you don't use your tub.

Do you keep your drain closed at all times?

I checked last night and it wasn't closed.

That's a rookie mistake.

I know.

You need to pour boiling water down it now and then seal it for life because you never use that tub.

No, I do use it.

Not seal it for life, but keep it closed, dumb bitch.

Keep it closed, dumb bitch.

And let's say, you know, sure, it was the same bug.

You know, I just think it's important for your health that it was the same bug.

Yes, but and I can, I can realize, you know, maybe it wasn't, but what are the odds?

One night of terror and it's two different bugs.

It's so important that we learn, you know, always like every situation makes us better.

What would you have done differently?

Chase him in and drop something on him and wait for his acts to come home to clean it up.

But then I have like roach, eggs, and juices.

I like, ugh, yucky.

Not the eggs and juices, yucky.

I don't know.

Claudia, I was frozen.

And honestly, I blame Brew because I feel like he should have done something.

Oh my God.

Like Bruno sat there more scared than his mommy.

Bruno's just a baby.

No, Bruno's a teenager now.

He sleeps in and he rebels and he should be hunting prey.

He should be.

And she said what she said.

So that kind of ruined my Love is Blind reunion experience.

I mean, of course, that would ruin my life.

And let's just hope it's not.

I feel like you're being very mature about the whole thing.

I'm trying to be because the last time I saw a palmetto, like I woke up my whole family in the middle of the night and went to Olivia's to sleep there until the Exterminator could come the next day.

And in hindsight, like I didn't need to do that.

I can say that.

No, yeah, no.

I think it's growth.

I can say it was an extreme reaction.

So I'm trying to learn and do better.

And when the exterminator did come, he really made me feel a lot better about palmettos in general.

Like they're not a big deal.

There's nothing that you can really do to keep them out of your house.

It's kind of just like Florida Tings, like when you see a get-go.

And there's no amount of pest control that can change that.

So I just have to kind of accept the things that I cannot change.

And let me tell you, as somebody who's had it far worse than you, lest we not forget, mousegate,

I

don't sweat the small things.

And those bugs that come up through the drains, literally just to kill themselves, like, don't let me get in your way.

Go off, king.

Like, bye.

Nice knowing ya.

I don't know.

They want to use my bathroom for the service.

I think I can make some space for them, you know?

I guess even if there were two that came up best friends, maybe they were soulmates and they wanted to, they had a suicide pact.

Yeah.

That would mean that the other one is dead too.

Unless he chickened out, but yeah.

Unless he was like, okay, yeah, we'll both kill ourselves and this one goes first and then he has a woman on the side.

Like like finally his wife his wife of the dead one finally we can be together in jackie's closet yeah and he bought look at all these nice things i bought you sweetie see you by the side-highs 10 o'clock yeah it's going down in the purses oh yucky i'm so sorry that that happened to you hopefully today's episode can be a nice distraction i don't know if this happens to you but for me and i'm experiencing it still it's sort of the after effect of seeing any sort of rodent or whatever i before i walk into a room in my house i stand in the doorway and i survey the floor and then I walk in.

It happens to me like now, even in the middle of the night when I go to pee, I turn the light on, I look at the floor and then I walk.

I don't comfortably walk from room to room anymore.

And that takes months to stop.

There's definitely afterquakes for sure.

This morning, like I had my closet door still closed and I tried so hard to get dressed without going in there because I have like merch and sweats in other closets and I couldn't find a proper t-shirt.

So I hope you guys like this outfit.

I couldn't take more time than this to pick something out.

And you know what?

You look good.

so thanks rochi for the loop thanks for the loop oof oof that just it really grew a wrench nobody is gonna be like a more sympathetic ear than me i know i felt like turdy and i stand with turdy i always did but now

of course and you know aren't you glad your situation is what it is of course because you could always be me things could always be worse but why the did he have to be at the movies the one time yeah no and your husband so funny like when i was there for at your house for many many weeks,

he was talking about how he's just dying to go to the movies.

It's like something he hasn't done in a while.

And he loves going to the movies.

Like it's something that he would love to do more of.

I don't want to do that like he does.

And he had some friends who wanted, they wanted to go to the movies.

They wanted to see Dune 2.

So they went.

And it was like, you know, very exciting.

It was his first

theater here.

Of all the nights.

We're home together every night.

I think Palmetto knew that.

Man plan, Palmetto Lacht.

Palmetto Lacht, motherfucker.

Palmetto.

Palmetto Lacht.

It's giving title.

So we actually have a lot of business to attend to.

So not to scurry along your trauma, but like wrap it up, you know?

No, that's really it.

I'm going to set it aside.

I'm going to move forward.

I'm going to begin the healing process because there's nothing more that I could do.

And the exterminator is, of course, coming.

You know what it sounds like you might need?

Therapy.

Could you imagine?

Imagine.

Because you saw a roach.

Unwell.

This is my therapy.

I do believe it.

It's so true.

It's so true.

I come here.

I talk about my feelings.

I process them.

I laugh about them.

And I move on.

I love that.

I hope that for all of you.

That you have a swirly in which you can do that with and be your true honest self.

That's beautiful.

Who needs therapy when you have swirly?

Swirlethy.

Swirlethy, greater than therapy.

Wait, swirlethy chalame.

Swirlethy Chalamet.

Chalamay, thank you.

Fucking Timothy Chalamet in his long-ass movie.

Fuck you.

Oh, my God.

It's his fault.

Fuck you.

Oh,

clip it.

You're lying.

She said the F word.

Taggy, what about other man's listening?

You guys, I've had a hard day.

You know, I wouldn't do it unless I had to.

Listen, I get it.

I get it.

Yeah.

I'll give you grace next time.

Thank Thank you.

Grace.

Thank you.

Speaking of Grace, let's get to our Love is Blind recap, which is going to be at some point in the show, and we can't get there until we do this.

Should we make it the first story and not the fifth?

Fuck it.

Let's go.

Love that.

Without further ado.

You know how I love to just like throw the book out the window.

Yeah, just make minor changes to keep the show exciting and fresh.

Love it.

Without further ado, to do to ado, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Thank you, Claudia.

A pleasure.

Our first story, Love is Blind recap.

Reunion.

So the season has come to an end.

They pulled out all the stops for the reunion.

And overall, I thought it was a jolly good show.

Production, very well done.

Agreed.

They really, they left no stone unturned, no internet question unanswered.

No, they're good about that.

Like Vanessa Lachey reads the comments and turns them into questions, which I appreciate.

They're a little too good about it.

I just want to say I feel like they let the internet dictate their show a little too much.

Yeah.

I, there were a lot of moments that I want to talk about, but first and foremost, I feel like in previous reunions, Nick Lachey has said all but three words.

Like he has really taken the back seat.

And I think the last reunion, the live one, there was, um,

there's steadily, slowly been like, actually, a lot of Vanessa Lachey backlash specifically about how she spoke to the women about like having babies and it was just giving out of touch.

And I feel like they were, they said, like, Vanessa, take a backseat.

It's Nick's turn because Nick really was the one.

Like he was moving the show along.

Oh, that's not even how I remember it.

I feel like Vanessa does a majority of the talking, but she definitely like reeled in

her opinion.

Her personality, her opinions, but still she went hard on a chosen few.

Okay, which we'll talk about, Trevor, but also the Lachés live in Hawaii.

Fun fact.

Interesting.

Very fun fact.

Okay, so let's go in order of kind of the way that they went with Jeremy.

The couples, the order of the couches.

It started with Jeremy, Sarah, Ann, and Laura.

So I stand Laura.

Like, I really do.

I think she's just a great reality star.

I think she's a very smart person.

And I liked watching her argue with people because she had personality and she was very cutting with her words.

Like I enjoyed it.

She had facts and she's the sort of person that like I, I would enjoy going to lunch with.

Now, it's important to remember that most of the Love is Blind drama went down a year ago.

So we're now a year out from this and a year out, like I see Sarah Ann and Jeremy still being together.

And I think people were like really hard on them last night.

Like at some point, like we got to move on.

They maintained that they did not cheat.

He definitely acted inappropriately, like being out that late with a girl he used to date.

But it was a year ago.

And like, personally, like, I'm okay with it.

Like, if these two want to date, they've literally been dating since that lake party.

That's fine with me.

Like, sorry.

Yeah, I feel the same way.

I feel like in this show, if you're between two people, like,

it's like Zach and Bliss, too.

It just was okay because everyone didn't like Irina.

In this situation, like, everybody does like Laura.

Yes.

But Sarah Ann has as much of an opportunity to be with Jeremy.

In this situation, like, the only person I have an issue with is Jeremy because he went about it wrong.

I feel like Sarah Ann, everyone can say, like, you should have done this and you should have done that.

I don't think she went about it so terribly.

Me neither.

And I feel like they were kind of hard on her.

And it was definitely like an everyone against her sort of thing, which I don't really like in general.

And I don't think she did anything to really deserve that.

Vanessa Lachey was very personally offended that she said this is entertainment, like really like breaking down every sentence of the video that she made.

Like Sarah Ann's just trying to defend herself.

I'm sure she's getting influx of hate.

She's trying to laugh it off and be like, are you not entertained?

Like this is a show.

And I guess we're doing a good job.

I didn't take that to mean that Sarah Ann says all this is fake and that this is someone's real life.

And as much as it's Laura's real life and her 96-year-old grandma, like, this is Sarah Ann's real life.

And, like, she's being publicly flogged.

I don't like that vibe where it feels like, as much as we all talk about, like, no bullying and this and that.

Like, you get on a show like that.

And even Trevor, who I

have no desire to defend whatsoever, like,

it's giving public flogging and it's uncomfortable to watch.

It is, especially when you put the crime in perspective.

I feel like, you know, there was a public flogging of Shake

when it was his season.

But like, you know, his crimes were greater, you know?

He was like talking about women's bodies and he was clearly like a dick.

Sarah Ann, like, seriously, in the scheme, we have to have perspective.

Let's take a step back at a glance.

She really didn't do anything wrong.

She didn't commit any crime.

She just like sent a message to a guy that she liked.

And I actually thought the message was kind of respectful.

It was as respectful as sending a message can be.

And by the way, it's like the thing that goes without saying is that a part of this show is coming off and seeing who you were talking to.

And then it becomes like, I remember that season with Micah.

Like there was a lot.

Can you overcome that moment too and double down on your choice?

So I agree.

The public flogging wasn't as bad for Sarah Ann as it was for Trevor.

Like that was actually uncomfortable.

And I feel like they were trying to send a message to anybody who thinks about, you know, auditioning for this show.

Like, we will find you out if you're here with bad faith reasons.

Like it was giving very much like making an example.

It was giving scared straight for sure.

Really uncomfortable.

But I don't even feel like Trevor came on this show for fame or anything like that.

When they said, did you come to further your career?

And he's like, what career?

Like seriously, like what career does he have that would benefit from him being on this show?

It's not like he carried himself in a way that he was being super extra, trying to make moments, trying to get air time.

Like I think that he was in a toxic, bad relationship that was somewhat serious that he knew he shouldn't be in.

He thought this would be a good opportunity for him.

I think while he was in the pods, he gave it all that he had.

He fell in love with Chelsea, who did not want him and he went home and he was like, fuck that.

I'm going back to what I know.

Like this broke my heart too.

The thing is, is that...

He didn't do a good job of explaining like what exactly his circumstances were prior to the show and explaining those text messages, but they also didn't give him a chance to explain himself.

I think he was really flustered.

I think he like realized very quickly he was walking into some sort of like ambush.

And I actually really would have liked to have heard them ask him questions in a more thoughtful way.

And that's my really one big issue with Vanessa and Nick, but more so Vanessa, is they don't really ever remain neutral.

They, they, they sort of parrot what they think the internet wants them to say so they can come off as like heroic.

Yeah.

And I think like a good, a really good

reunion host like gives everyone a chance to explain themselves.

And when absolutely necessary, and I feel like Andy does this, like when absolutely necessary, like they take aside and like make their feelings known.

But I can always read Vanessa and it's like, that's not what you're supposed to be doing, by the way.

And also to move the conversation forward, not just keep it in this like bad Trevor, we're mad.

Like let's move forward.

I feel like by the end, when he was like, the only person I owe an explanation to is Chelsea and I'm happy to give that to you all day long.

Like even though what he did was not right, I felt like he explained it as best as he could.

I don't think he was lying when he was in the pods, honestly.

But again, I'm realizing about myself, maybe I'm a little naive, but I really look at this.

Like, I don't think.

I know.

He's not giving master manipulation.

He's not giving, I want to be a famous TV star.

So

I just feel like they never just like let off.

Like, of course, you have to ask the questions and we want an explanation, but then just be like, okay.

Yeah.

You know, it was uncomfortable when they were like, you can leave.

And he just like walked off silently.

Like, he's like the child at the principal's office.

Yeah.

Speaking of principals, by the way, I did feel like the only stone left unturned that I just didn't feel super.

And they made us wait till the end.

And they were kind of who I wanted to hear from almost the most because everybody else, like Chelsea and Jimmy, it's been dragged out.

It's been, they've fought with Brittany and Kenneth.

They just sort of like ended randomly.

It felt like he had a change of heart.

And I did want to hear more about that sudden shift in his behavior.

And they never really got down to the bottom of it.

They did give him a really fair chance at explaining himself when it came to the phone.

I felt like he was like able to poke fun at himself, but also really answer for like the phone addiction.

And you know what?

Like when you give people an opportunity, people who aren't bad people, when you give them an opportunity to explain themselves, like I was completely understanding of his situation.

He's like, I've just been off my phone for three weeks.

I have all these teachers, all these students, and all these parents, like, who rely on me.

Like, I get it.

Oh, you thought that was a suitable explanation?

I did.

And I don't think there's really anything.

Like, I think they, when they were breaking up, I was like, wait, something's going on with Kenneth.

He's a bad faith actor.

But I don't know, just like seeing him and Brittany, like

a faith actor, and I don't think something was going on with him.

I also think like maybe he wasn't just constantly working on his phone.

Like, you're a principal.

It's late at night.

Like, what's going on on your phone for the parents?

Like, emails from the parents?

I guess, but like,

that also is just a pet peeve of mine.

Like, if you need to work, of course, carve out your work time.

But also, by the way, imagine you were off your phone for three weeks.

Keep that in mind.

I think.

No, but like go into an office or a room and be like, I'm working.

I don't like, but that's just in general.

Like, the phone is just a...

a social thing and a professional thing and it the lines are always blurred and I just like hate when people are on their phones and I understand you're working but then like go set aside time for work we need boundaries okay

so I feel like you were gonna say listen the camera people are here.

We're filming for what, an hour tonight?

Like, we're going to do this now.

But what were you going to say, like, when it comes to Kenneth?

Um, I agree with you.

Like, what turned, second of all, are they still together?

No, but so I just felt like they were.

I feel like they never asked that question of anyone.

Are Brittany and Kenneth still together?

Are Chelsea and Jimmy and Chelsea?

Chelsea and Jimmy, are they together?

Clay and A.D., are they together?

So with Kenneth and Brittany, I think it's been made clear that they're not together, but they have like a deep friendship.

And that's maybe what the connection in the pod was, like two people who who love each other in a platonic way great i agree i just feel um

i almost especially with britney and kenneth like i got no answers that was like the one it's almost like they got cut for time yeah also like because and they both looked so good like so i'm obsessed with them is when they went on their honeymoons like if i had to make bets i would have said britney and kenneth are getting married and of course jeremy and laura

I thought Jeremy and Laura were such a cute couple.

No, that's really what I like about the show.

Like, it's truly unpredictable.

And I actually thought a good fact statistic was that of the 11 couples who have gotten married, nine are still together.

It's almost like not a lot of them get married, but those that do, like, it does really work.

That's what we were saying.

It's like, if you're going to actually say yes on the show, like, the jig is up.

You don't have to act anymore.

It doesn't matter.

But like, will you actually marry this person?

Yeah.

For your real life.

And so funny, I feel like the couples who

I think would have had the most to say, Jimmy and Chelsea, Clay and A.D., like sort of took a backseat at the reunion.

I also like didn't really care.

I feel like those conversations have been like played out almost where it's like, I'm actually really curious about Sarah Ann and Jerami and Kenneth and Brittany.

And I feel like they, especially Kenneth and Brittany, like we got nothing.

Oh, something I did want to say and actually really liked.

I thought Chelsea, by the way, came off great at the reunion.

Yeah.

And when they finally brought up the Megan Fox thing, she said, she's like, I am so proud of myself for how I've handled this.

I actually really agreed with her.

Like I almost, like, I felt proud of her too.

Like when the whole Megan Fox thing like really blew up the season, blew up the internet, and it became this sort of referendum on her looks, which is probably the most horrible thing to go through if that's ever happened to me i imagine i i seriously would not be able to handle it it was horrifying and her social media posts like poking fun at it i'm sure in her private moments she struggled with it but how she's handled it publicly i think with grace yeah and with like i seriously she's a better more mature bigger woman than i could ever be like that could i would never like i would never be able to handle it that way yeah i would have liked to see them have a conversation about what goes on in the pods in terms of do a lot of people share their celebrity doppelgangers was that really out of the norm because the way it felt to me it was like kind of a cheat you know it's like yeah I'm gonna hook you in I'm gonna tell you that I look like Megan Fox but it's like is everybody sharing who they sort are we sharing vibes here right I want to know right and also I remember there were conversations really important conversation with like Lauren Hamilton and Cameron about race yeah um which is a physical indicator of how you look are you are do they share race now I don't know I feel like they don't show us those conversations yeah but I would have liked that at the reunion.

Like, I guess that would kind of spoil the show, but is every couple doing celebrity doppelgangers?

Because that's a great way to figure out what your person looks like.

Yeah.

Oh, Johnny and Amy got very little airtime because they're beyond uninteresting, but the question of condoms was floated, thankfully.

Basically, like their answer was that, like, you know, Johnny was having these big conversations about birth control while seemingly having little to no education on the matter.

She, you know, didn't go on birth control in the end and she educated him the end.

So that's that.

Great.

It's really uncomfortable.

Like, I really, I can't.

I did also like them incorporating people from past seasons.

I absolutely like love would die for Brendan and Alexa.

Like, love seeing them so happy.

I thought the selections was kind of bizarre.

Yeah, like, where were Lauren and Cameron?

And like, seriously, why the fuck was Giannina and her boyfriend from The Bachelor there?

I don't know.

Like, why were they chosen over Lauren and Cameron or literally anyone?

Well, maybe they invited Lauren and Cameron and they couldn't come or Amber and Barnett, but I also think like Janina and Blake are kind of buzzy.

And so I thought we were going to get Amber and Barnett because I, they did like this recap in the beginning of all the couples and I totally forgot about Amber and Barnett.

Like, I need to see them.

What do, what are they up to?

I'm sure they're on Instagram.

I need them.

For sure.

I don't know about that.

I didn't realize until the show was almost over that the micah sitting there was micah from two seasons ago.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I thought I because she was sitting next to a guy named Izzy.

I was like, oh, I must have, they must be a couple from last season.

I missed Izzy's season.

Yeah, so I thought that they were a couple from that season.

Wait, and then, so when they announced that they're on some show that I guess Nicola Shea

can't wait to watch, is that, because they said Jess is on it too.

Is that

the photos that we saw?

So it was filmed a while ago.

Yeah, I will be watching that.

I thought Jess came off just radiant.

Like she didn't really, she had one thing to answer for, which was that conversation with Laura that was giving hypocrite.

It really was, given, you know, the Sarah Ann of it all.

And she just immediately was like, listen, not my best moment.

Embarrassed, wrong, apologize.

Like, love, thank you.

Like, that's how you handle.

And then when Micah was like almost getting choked up about how Jess has become like one of the most, it's clear that Jess is obviously this beautiful person, like really probably one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.

But she also is like beautiful on the inside.

And I thought that was just coming through.

And she didn't get a ton of air time.

But for that to have come through on, you know, the couple of minutes we spent on her, I was like, damn, she must be really lovely.

No, and the fact that Netflix put her on Perfect Match before we even, before her season even aired, it's like they knew everyone's gonna love this person.

Let's

let's put her in the show.

I thought, you know, it could have been way worse for Jimmy.

It wasn't.

No, I feel like by the end of Jimmy, like if there was a reunion in the middle of the season, it would have been really bad for Jimmy.

By the end of the show, like, I believe that he loves Chelsea.

Yeah.

I agree that once that trust is broken, it's really hard, if not impossible, to get back amongst the other issues they were already having.

It's not going to work out.

I did feel like she didn't take enough accountability for that.

Like it really was fucked up.

Yeah.

Given that this private person, like,

and if anything, I think him telling her off-camera really

like proved that he was in it.

Like he was trying to make this work.

Of course, there are things that you're going to share with someone in a relationship that you don't want put on TV.

So if you're actually having those conversations and sharing those feelings and those things, you're obviously in it.

Like you are.

And so I think Jimmy really was in it.

And I think she sort of kept making excuses for it.

Even she's like, I know it was wrong, but I was feeling this.

I was feeling that.

Yeah, and then when they asked to like bring up the show, I don't even realize when the cameras are there.

Like, please, when Vanessa asked the whole cast, like, you know, if they thought it was wrong, I just don't feel like she was sort of put in her place enough.

Like, it was, it was really wrong.

Yeah, amongst other, just the whole

their whole relationship in the townhomes, like, she was just self-sabotaging to a degree.

I've never seen anything like that.

So I thought it was good.

It was a little long, an hour, 40 minutes, but it was good.

Another interesting factoid was that AD went out with Matthew twice.

No, no, I'm sorry.

The more interesting factoid of the century is that Chelsea now works for Netflix.

Let me tell you, I kind of love that.

Yeah.

I think that's brilliant, first of all, like for Netflix is.

And Chelsea is the exact, she went on with the best of intentions.

She got married.

Like, she wasn't everyone's favorite, but she really was perfectly cast so her working in casting and working for netflix like i'm kind of obsessed yeah chelsea of chelsea and kwame not chelsea from the season oh i'm sorry yes chelsea aka britney mahomes she looks so much like britney mahomes last night with her hair like that yeah

um and they're another couple who's like proof is in the like i was a major doubter when he said yes i was like what the fuck i was like no way no way and you know what there's proof in the pudding but that also goes to show like we don't see everything we kind of maybe only see the worst or most interesting moments that are 1% of their relationship.

Also, I had completely forgotten about Britney and Tiffany.

Brett and Tiffany.

Brittany and Tiffany.

So cute.

And that conversation when Clay was like, I had never seen this show.

And then I watched the season and I was so impressed and I wanted to be like Brett.

And then Brett was getting choked up.

Like, no, that moment I was like obsessed.

No, I love Clay.

I know.

He's a person who's capable of growth, which is really

unique in this day and age.

My only like sort of criticism of him is that he was not ready to go on this show.

Yeah.

But I'm glad to have met him.

I, I completely agree.

Like,

he was just saying really some emotionally intelligent things.

Yeah, and really taking like a good, hard look at himself and being really honest and self-aware.

I, I really like him.

And I feel like he's grown so much since like the first episode of this season to now.

I hope that they can make it work because, as he said, like, she's the love of his life.

So cute.

So cute.

So that's a wrap on Love is Blind.

I thought it was a great season.

I think the franchise actually really needed a big season.

Oh, I just want to say shout out to Nick Lachey for saying the funniest thing when he got in the pods.

His first question was, would I be able to hold you on my shoulders at a music festival?

Like the way that lives rent-free in my mind, too.

By the way, 1000%.

It's giving a celebrity toppleganger.

It's like a cheat question.

Yeah.

No, but it's very rude.

That one was not subtle.

No, no, no.

No.

By the way, totally.

I get gold at that as well.

Loved it.

Loved it.

Okay, so Love is Line Season 6.

That's a wrap.

We'll see you on the next one.

We will.

Our next story, big news that came out yesterday, is that Olivia Munn revealed that she was diagnosed with breast cancer and she underwent a double mastectomy.

So sad.

Yesterday, Olivia Munn posted on Instagram that she was diagnosed with breast cancer in April 2023 and underwent a double mastectomy shortly thereafter.

She explained that her and her sister had tested negative for the BRCA gene, the most well-known gene to cause cancer, and her mammogram had come back clear, but her doctor decided to calculate her breast cancer risk assessment score just in case.

She said the fact that she did that saved my life, noting that her lifetime risk was 37% at the time.

Factors included the age in which she had children, family history with breast cancer, and I think anything over 30% means that you should get regular mammograms.

So she,

her doctor prompted her to get an MRI and then an ultrasound and finally a biopsy that confirmed she had luminal B cancer in both breasts, which is an aggressive, fast-moving cancer.

And so that was three months after her mammogram.

So if she had waited for her annual mammogram, she said that it would have been too late.

It would have been nine months more advanced than it already was.

So she underwent a double mastectomy 30 days later and has gone through four surgeries total over the past 10 months.

She said, I went from feeling completely fine one day to waking up in a a hospital bed after a 10-hour surgery the next.

She credited her family, friends, and partner, John Malaney, for their support throughout her journey.

No, this was really sad and like extremely

just shocking, I feel like out of nowhere, because she went through the journey and then decided to share it with everyone.

And they're very low-key.

I feel like they don't, you know, get spotted out a lot.

And like, this is what she's been going through while the internet like hates her because she like stole Anna Marie.

And Anna Marie Tandler's writing a book.

Did you see that?

Right.

I have like something crazy to say like about Anna Marie Tandler, Tandler, but I don't think the internet's ready for my hot take.

I think say it now before the book.

Um, and I don't think this is necessarily her doing, I think it's the way the internet like refers to her, but like, it just gives victim mentality.

Like,

it sucks,

yeah.

That's just how I feel.

Maybe I like, that's, I feel like people are gonna comfort my neck with that one.

Um,

but like a Olivia Munn, sorry, back to, oh, you know what I found so interesting?

Like, totally put random and

sidebar, but she had posted a bunch of videos with her doctor sharing her doctor.

And it's like, I've been seeing this doctor everywhere recently.

It's Dr.

A.

Do you know Dr.

A from the Kardashians?

No.

She's their OBGYN.

They call her Dr.

A.

She like, they fly her private.

Like she's like this premiere, Dr.

A, Dr.

A.

They're always talking about her.

And then she just launched a podcast with Dear Media, Dr.

A.

Oh, my God.

And now she was in Olivia Month.

She's just been like popping up for me ever, Dr.

A.

That's so funny.

She's like the Dr.

Fox Fox of the West Coast.

She's definitely like premiered.

She was at that big Indian wedding last month with Rihanna, the 15 million, like, yeah, the people who are worth 150 billion.

But I also thought that some of the Kardashians see the OBGYN that Chris had seen, like, that gave birth to them.

All I know is like Dr.

A.

It's always Dr.

A.

Like, Dr.

A, get on the plane.

We're flying out, Dr.

A.

Dr.

A said to come in, Dr.

A, this, Dr.

A, that.

Like, if you go back and watch a bunch of like the pregnancy episodes with all the girls, but Kylie specifically, Dr.

A.

Okay.

Well, I mean,

clearly, she's the best.

The best.

And I also think that this was just a really good, I read Olivia Munn's like whole Instagram post.

I think there was a lot of educational tidbits in there, very informational, like for women.

And I think we all know like to get tested, but it's even more than that.

And there is a year between mammograms that is a long time and things can happen.

So, and also it's like, it's, you could be negative for the BRCA gene.

That doesn't mean that you're in the clear.

Yeah.

So that was, this was a shocking story.

Like,

but I'm glad to know that now she is doing well.

She had like done some red carpets and she said like she did them like on days where she felt like she could get up and get out of bed in the last few months.

I think they were just at the Oscars or at a Jason party.

He was at the, they were at the Oscars and he did a

presentation.

He was a presenter for one of the awards and he gave like a little jokes, like two minutes of jokes.

Before it was so funny, people were

campaigning for him to host.

He would actually be a fabulous host.

He's very funny.

Yeah, he would be a good host.

Yeah.

Well, are you ready for our next story?

Yes.

Some news about your favorite person.

Tarek?

Justin Timberlake.

Honestly, same energy.

Had a concert last night.

Travis Kelsey attended.

And the members of Insync reunited in the middle of his show.

So everything's coming up, Justin, today.

It's really not.

It's really not.

Like, ask me if I care.

No, Justin Timberlake is trying so hard to make us care.

And don't get me wrong, there's like a certain, you know, fandom.

Justin Timberlake stands in sync millennials, like who this is for.

But I do think he's

trying to win back public

opinion.

Opinion.

He's, you know, this is something he never would have done when he was at his peak.

He thought he was too good for InSync always.

Like, remember when he did the Super Bowl?

They're like, is he going to bring out in sync?

Like, he was on top, and he, you know, the members of InSync weren't the shit on his shoe.

Now, you know, he needs some help.

So he's bringing out NSYNC.

And, you know, they're kind of desperate.

So they agreed, even though I'm sure a lot of them are like, fuck this guy.

Yeah.

I'm just like, I'm not buying it.

Like, him and Jessica Beal are doing the most, the most right now.

She posted this like sexy pic of him.

Like, you won't post this, Justin.

So I will like, stop.

I eat oranges in the shower.

Stop.

Stop.

Like, you can't fool me.

You cannot fool me, Justin and Jessica.

Try as you might.

You won't.

Okay.

So that's how you feel about it?

Like, I'm not giving, like, this is propaganda.

It is.

Wow.

Well, yes, the in-sync reunion, but the fact that Travis Kelsey is a big Justin Timberlake fan kind of tracks.

He's not a big Justin Timberlake fan.

By the way, they've been friends for a really long time.

And I just think it's interesting that Taylor didn't go.

I just think it's interesting.

Can you be friends with someone who like is an artist and actually not be a fan of their stuff?

An incredible question.

I guess think about like people in your life.

Do they listen to the toast?

Yes.

They do.

And I think I also have people who don't listen to the toast, but like would like it, you know, don't aren't anti-toast.

But no, I couldn't be friends with someone who's anti-toast.

And you're just anti-me.

Right, because the toast is like

our DNA.

It's not much different offline.

But I think when you're friends with a lot of famous people, you can't, you know, know the lyrics to everyone's songs.

Yeah, that's true.

So it depends.

How many famous friends do you have?

I guess that actually plays an important factor.

Okay.

But I actually do feel like Travis would be a fan of his music.

1,000%.

He literally dresses like a Justin Timberlake fan.

Yeah.

So

kind of a match in heaven.

They're the same person.

Yeah.

1,000%.

I could see Taylor Swift getting together with Jessica Beal.

I could too.

Jessica Beale gives like strong Blake Lively energy.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Well, are you ready for our next story, which is also some music music concert news, actually?

Yeah.

Jennifer Lopez has canceled seven tour dates without explanation after her new album, This Is Me Now, has listen.

No explanation needed, girl.

More or less flopped.

Jennifer Lopez has canceled the final seven tour dates of her upcoming tour without explanation.

Fans noticed that Ticketmaster quietly added cancellation notices to the Nashville, Raleigh, Atlanta, Tampa, Florida, and New Orleans listings for the This Is Me Now trek earlier this year.

Those are like big cities, like Atlanta.

Those are not like small town Nashville.

Even more curiously, previous announce shows in Cleveland and Houston were wiped from the company's website entirely.

So here's she was playing arenas.

Right.

Okay.

So I actually, when I was in Florida, I was watching the television.

There was actually a commercial for her concert at some local Florida, whatever.

And, you know, that was giving Dazzle.

You don't see commercials for concerts very often.

It's a good idea.

It's what they used to do.

It's like an old school technique of marketing.

I think we all know why these shows were canceled.

They weren't canceled due to high demand.

Listen, J-Lo's in her flop era, and that's totally fine because you can't have a peak without a flop.

But

I'm curious how we get out of this because I feel like JLo's sort of refusing to acknowledge that it's a flop.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I just want to say Olivia watched her documentary.

And the way she speaks so highly of it,

she loved it.

We were having dinner the other night.

She was telling everyone about it.

She made it sound really good, too.

Well, I saw a clip of her documentary on TikTok.

The comments roasted her to absolute fucking filth because she calls.

It was her and Ben Affleck and he was working on the script for something for her.

And she kept calling him.

She's like, Poppy, no, poppy, poppy.

And people in the comments say she actually doesn't even speak Spanish.

So

people like are just fucking done with her.

They really are.

For now.

For now, by the way, just likability is a prison.

Likeability is a prison.

You're never going to be hot always.

Like you to understand the moments where you're, this is what it is.

And I think this is the nature of celebrity.

You have to understand the moments where you're not everybody's favorite and you need to take a step back.

And J-Lo's having one of those moments right now and refusing to step back and it's making it worse.

Like when people aren't into you, it's the nature of celebrity.

You need to give them less opportunities to talk about you.

And she doesn't stop.

Documentary, that movie, album, tour.

She doesn't stop.

SNL.

I know, but she's just because it's not like hitting right this moment, like you can't just like drop everything.

It's just, listen, I feel as it's the nature, I think, of being a public figure.

It's like navigating these waters.

And I think she's just acting like everything's fine and doing nothing differently.

And it's not, it's just not your moment right now.

Totally fine.

Take a little bit of a step back.

Like, I don't know if announcing a tour.

Yeah.

No, I don't think that she should.

I think she should keep acting like nothing's wrong.

I don't think she should like give in to this, but I do think

a pivot.

A pivot.

Let's let this album just quiet down, keep promoting.

And she has fans.

Like, they want to see her and hear from her.

And then we'll try something new.

I feel like everybody loves J-Lo, though.

Like, no, and she had a really good pass.

She had a really good few years, like, where people were just loving everything.

Hustlers, the Super Bowl, everyone was just loving everything.

And that doesn't last forever.

And then, of course, Ben Affleck, the wedding.

She's had a really good few years.

It's just the nature of the biz.

Like, you dip and you dive and you duck and you dodge.

And I feel like her personal life is at such a high.

And so professionally, you know, it's an ebb and flow.

Yep.

And maybe

when this went, maybe at the Super Bowl, like she was miserable in her personal life.

I'm not saying any of this as like a negative.

It's just, it's the nature of the work.

Yeah.

Like I worry about that a lot with Taylor Swift.

Like she's at a crazy level of popularity, like this height, new heights, for lack of a better phrase.

And that sort of likability does not last forever.

Yeah.

So you have to be conscious of it.

And I actually think because she's been so disliked for periods in her career, she's very,

and I feel like I actually heard her say that in an interview recently.

Maybe it was Time Person of the Year.

She's cautious of this sort of popularity.

Yeah.

What goes up must come down.

It's human nature.

It's gravity.

It's giving Isaac Newton.

Gravity.

Oh my God.

Ben was singing a John Mayer song.

We were walking to, of course, the kosher market.

Where else do we go?

And he was like, my dear wear, slow dancing in a crowded room.

And I was like, oh, actually, Ben, that's not the word.

He's like, oh, what is it?

I'm like, my dear wear, slow dancing in a burning room.

And he said,

like for him, like it made no fucking sense.

Like, you know, you would slow dance in a crowded room.

Like, that's so classic.

Everybody around you is busy, but you're locked in.

He's like, well, why would we be dancing if the room is burning?

And I said, it's a good question.

It's a metaphor.

I think, I said, I think it's more of a metaphor.

It's like everything around us is going to shit, but like we have each other.

Yeah, no, or it's like we're holding on to each other even though like we're going up in flames.

Oh, that too.

Be slowed, but we're just going to have like one last dance.

Yes, Ben's very literal.

And, you know, he doesn't like surface lyrics.

Yeah, but he was giving surface lyrics.

Yeah.

But that would have been, yeah, I guess slow dancing is in a crowded room would have been good, but I think burning room is why John Mayer is John Mayer.

You know, crowded room is like hallmark card energy.

It's, it's just kind of overplayed romanticism.

Yeah, yeah.

But it was, it was a very sweet, endearing moment for Ben, who like doesn't know lyrics.

That is cute.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story, which is kind of

a major update to something we were talking about yesterday?

Is it a major update from a major brand like Taylor Farms?

Yeah.

Taylor Farms chopped salad kits.

Deliver the freshest, best tasting salads to eat at home or on the go across North America.

Jackie, everyone's talking about.

Everyone's talking about Taylor Farms.

I'm so glad to hear it.

Claudia, I eat a Taylor Farms salad every single day.

Sometimes I'm doing two days.

I don't eat anything other than Taylor Farms right now.

Jackie, Taylor Farms chopped salad kits defy boring in every bag with over 30 flavors.

So I love Taylor Farms salads.

30 flavors.

You got to try all of them.

I got to switch it up.

The ingredients are fresh.

The lettuce is not brown.

I know you think salad in a bag, it's giving icky.

It's not.

It's giving yummy.

It's giving fresh.

It's giving crisp.

The lettuce is green and gorgeous.

It's crispy.

It's crunchy.

It's also chopped.

They're chopped salad kits.

Yeah.

Salad that isn't chopped, stop.

Like just stop.

Throw it in the garbage.

No, all the ingredients are like literally Julianne.

It's giving Julia child.

So good.

There's a flavor for everyone.

They're making...

Eating healthy a breeze.

And that's actually not a breeze.

Eating healthy, it's very hard.

But having these stocked in your fridge, like you're going to make good choices for lunch, for dinner.

You can have it as a side salad if you're having a dinner party, or you can make it the main event.

Throw some protein in there.

Purchase Taylor Farms chop salad kits wherever you like to shop.

Yeah, it's a sleigh.

It's available at all major grocery stores.

That's right.

Sleigh.

Purchase the Taylor Farms chop salad kits wherever you like to shop.

It is available at all major grocery stores.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Liquid IV.

Whether you hydrate to live or live to hydrate, Liquid IV quenches your thirst faster than water alone.

Oh my, that's so true.

There's literally two people, people who live to drink water or just drink water to live.

I am the latter.

I'm not drinking water for enjoyment.

I almost, you know, forget to do it some days.

And Liquid IV has got my back because I don't drink the most water, but when I do, I know that my water is working harder for me because I've got a stick of liquid IV in there.

So one stick of liquid IV into 16 ounces of water is going to hydrate you better than water alone.

It has three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink.

It has no artificial sweeteners and zero sugar.

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dairy, soy.

The multiplier sugar-free is what I'm really loving these days.

The flavors are fabulous they taste good you don't know that it's sugar-free but you're gonna feel so much better because a lot of those other uh

electrolyte companies they're pumping those with sugar it's like what's the point you're gonna crash no the liquid iv hydration multiplier sugar free is available nationwide in costco so you can buy it in bulk or you can get 20 off your first order when you go to liquidiv.com use the code toast at checkout currently i'm in my lemon lime era they've really a lot of flavors flavors are so personal so i'm not going to recommend but i'll let you know that's my favorite they've They've got everything, truly.

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Thank you, Claudia.

You're welcome.

Our fifth and final story, a major update to a story from yesterday, is that Hoda Kotbi has been spotted with a mystery man after revealing she was set up by Jennifer Shaker.

So it's unclear if this is the mystery man, man, but he's an age-appropriate, handsome man in a suit.

They were spotted walking towards St.

Patrick's Cathedral in Midtown Manhattan.

They were kind of walking the way that you would walk with someone who you're gone on three dates with.

I have three words to say.

Businessman, Bo.

Yeah.

He's wearing a suit during the day.

He's got a job, obviously.

Well groomed.

I thought he was a well-manicured, handsome fella.

Handsome.

Good on Hoda.

That's all I have to say.

Well done, JBH.

Well done.

I I do hope this is the man.

I mean, no offense.

Like, who else would he be?

Like, he could be.

Producer.

I feel like producers don't dress that well, honestly.

Have you ever seen glory?

Also, after leaving the cathedral, they went to the polo bar where they stayed for an undisclosed amount of time.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's giving date.

You don't go to the polo bar with your producer because that's on company, the company down.

What about like your agent, manager?

By the way, yes, could be her agent.

But then when we know what his name is, I feel like patients would have been like, oh, it's big wig agent, big time, you know.

It's giving like random man.

No, I mean, it's giving boyfriend.

Like

three dates doesn't make a boyfriend.

I do want to say, I feel like Coda's not the type who gets paparazzied.

I feel like everyone's really invested in this story.

I mean, we are.

Yeah.

I love when, you know,

it's very hard for a woman of a certain age to find a husband, especially if she's successful, because those men date 13-year-olds, you know, they're disgusting.

Yeah.

So

I am, it's tough out there.

Like, I have sympathy, and I think Coda's out here slang.

Yeah, I hope that this is the start of something beautiful.

And when there's a man that's single at that age and he does decide to date someone his own age, like the respect, it's so sick, like how much of a big deal it is to me, but it's an enormous deal, especially if they're successful.

They always go for the 25-year-olds.

Like, and then it's like, what about the older women?

Who are they supposed to date?

Oh, no, then Kristen Cavallari dates a 24-year-old and everybody's crying crying about it.

Like, did you see her podcast episode Responding to People?

I saw a clip.

I loved it.

She was like, there have been two different types of people.

Some people who have been like, yes, Kristen, get it.

Like, I would do the same.

And some people who have been like, you're gross.

The people who have been negative about it, she said, I looked at all their profiles and they're ugly.

And the people who have been like encouraging me, I looked at their profile.

She said, they're all hot.

Ooh, I love that theory.

She also said, like, if you think that's like, if you're anti-her, whatever, like, it says more about you than it does about her.

No, and she also said, like, how many 37-year-old men do we know who date 24-year-olds?

And nobody says anything.

It's so true.

It's so, so true.

I'm here for it.

I like their relationship.

I just didn't say the only weird thing about the relationship is like his TikTok content, not his age.

Okay.

Because to me, that would give me an ick.

If I saw like somebody on like a prospective date making videos like that, I'd say, oh.

The thing is, how are you going to date a 24-year-old who kind of isn't making stuff like that?

That's what 24-year-olds do right now.

So true.

So that's kind of the pill you have to swallow.

It's so true.

But I'm sure ever since since the dawn of man, like 24-year-olds were, men were doing cringy things.

Right.

In the caves, they were doing stuff.

They were renegading.

For sure.

Yeah.

I'm really excited.

Well, thank you for sharing that update.

I'm really excited because the show is not over.

It's our dear toaster segment, and we have an update.

There's kind of been a developing story over the last couple of weeks about the girl who

had this sort of, she wrote into us initially being like, am I crazy?

But I have this inkling about my husband.

Turns out her inkling was correct.

Her husband did cheat on her.

She found a condom.

Last update we heard from her, she confronted him.

He was like being a big baby about it, and she didn't know what to do.

Now, this was a young, married girl.

She'd recently gotten married.

They didn't have any kids.

And we did encourage her to leave him.

That was our advice, but we said we would support her no matter what.

Yes.

So we have an update from her and two other submissions that we're going to read today.

On Dear Toasters, which is our weekly advice segment, you write in to us.

You can write in anonymously both ways.

If you're really wanting to go anonymous, like this girl writes to us on the website, she does not want anyone to know.

The toastpodcast.com, completely anonymous.

Email us to your toasters at gmail.com.

It's anonymous.

We're not going to share, but your email, you know, I will have your email address.

We have your email, but we're never going to share.

It's, they're both completely safe.

So here's an update from our girly swirly.

Hey, Jackson Claude, this is the final update for the worst time of my life.

After confiding in my sister, listening to your guys' advice, and reflecting on my marriage and my husband's affair, I've decided to file for divorce.

My husband showed his ass when I told him that, when I told him, but that made my decision easier.

What does showed his ass mean?

Like, she showed his shoe colors.

I guess he didn't take it well.

I plan on living with my sister until I can afford my own place, and I'm excited to be on my own and focus on myself and my happiness.

Thank you both for the encouragement and the advice.

Maybe I'll update when I find love again.

Godspeed, my friend.

You're doing the right thing.

You're doing the right thing.

I think moments like this, which I feel like could be considered lows, like you'll, you'll look back on this time like in a year from now and realize how far you've come.

But it's important to be,

have perspective and find things to be grateful for.

And I think the fact that you have a sister nearby is such a blessing.

A lot of people leave their husbands and don't have that sort of support.

The fact that she's letting you live with her, you are so blessed to sort of have time to get on your feet.

A lot of women also don't have that.

So acknowledge

what you should be grateful for, but also it's okay to feel sorry for yourself in this moment.

Like be sad.

You have to, you know, dedicate the time, but in a year from now, you are going to be, you know, in your own apartment.

You might even be seeing someone.

You will have made such personal growth.

And you're going to look back on that time and be like, wow, I was so brave.

Maybe I feel like that happens sometimes where you look back on difficult times in your life and you can't believe that you I can't believe that was me.

Yeah, that you went through that.

Like you kind of disassociate from the bravery.

You're like, oh man, I can never do that now.

I have a feeling in a year from now, you're going to have that feeling.

Yeah.

It's like the phrase said, sometimes the hard thing and the right thing are the same.

A thousand percent.

I think you totally made the right decision.

And we're really proud of you.

And the toast is always here for you.

So join a local toaster Facebook group if you're looking for, you know, new friends, because sometimes that's also a hard part of leaving a marriage is like he gets the friends.

Yeah.

I would say join a toaster Facebook group and it might solve like all of your problems.

Yeah, I could find a roommate, could find a job.

Yeah, exactly.

Great.

Love that for you.

Okay.

Congrats.

Good luck.

Good luck.

Dear Toasters, long time listener, first time caller, I'm writing because my five-year-old has been roasting me.

It started out cheeky, fun, within the comforts of our own home.

Then this past weekend, she absolutely crucified me, not once, but twice at a party.

First, she declared to the partygoers that I pooped in in a McDonald's, which for the record, I did do.

If that wasn't bad enough, my daughter came back an hour later with the most diabolical burn I've ever heard.

She came over to me with her friend, looks her friend in the eye, and says, watch this joke.

She then proceeds to come over to me, kiss my belly, and say, I love you, little baby.

Now for the record, I'm not pregnant.

What?

Now for the record, I didn't read this part before.

I'm not pregnant on account that I'm her dad.

Oh, it's a a man writing in.

We never get men.

Any parenting advice?

I feel like it's that riddle of the doctor.

Yes, yes.

Because, I mean, I automatically assume this was a woman, but mostly because we really only have female listeners and the ones that write in.

No, Clint, you don't have to explain why you thought this.

We all thought this was a woman.

I'm not pregnant on account that I'm her dad.

Oh, it's a man.

Okay, continue.

Any parenting advice or should I simply be proud of my daughter's sense of humor?

Okay, so she's roasting her dad, not her mom.

For some reason, that makes it better.

A thousand percent.

This is kind of tough for me to answer because I don't really,

until I have children at these ages, like I don't realize what they understand and process and like how you can discipline them.

Like I can't really give advice for a five-year-old because like, can five-year-olds read?

You know, I don't know yet.

Let me tell you also, like, this is definitely a fear of mine.

Like, cause, you know, things I do in my home, Ben is conscious enough to know, like, there are home things and there are things we don't talk to the outside world about of course and you know children don't have that sort of filter and that social consciousness yet so knowing that like whether it's things that are embarrassing or things that I just I'm embarrassed like there are things that stay in the home and things I will do in front of my children that I don't want them telling a friend at school you know for sure but it also seems like this five-year-old is just like a snark another level you know it's not just like she told everyone that you pooped in McDonald's because yeah she might not realize like the boundary between home and the public and that's something but that she's kind of like a mean girl

Yeah, what do you do?

I feel like this is like a

not to be like mean like a future bully like I actually do think you need to rein it in a little bit.

Yeah, and I do think like as a parent of we love our children more than anything but like there needs to be like I'm not your friend.

You don't talk to me like I'm your friend like there needs to be that level of like respect and almost a little bit of fear.

Like you don't roast your parent.

You absolutely

should be afraid of your parents.

Not like to the point where like violence, but like you should always fear your parents.

Yeah.

The thing is though, she hasn't done anything really

punishable.

Like, okay, you told everyone that I made a duty.

Like

that's not the other thing.

But

what's the joke that she's making?

Like, does she even have the social conscious to know that it's like a stomach?

Like

fat?

Right?

That's what I mean.

I don't understand what a five-year-old understands.

I know, it's hard.

But I do think like there needs, I think for kids to learn the difference between right and wrong is like when they do something that you perceive to be wrong, there are repercussions for it.

Yeah, but what if

I don't even want to put in her head about belly and

you know?

But is it already there or she's just like,

it's a good idea.

That's what I'm saying.

I don't know what they know at that age.

That's why it's hard for me to like really give advice.

But clearly, these are two examples out of what you're saying is more.

This girl, like, she needs a little

discipline.

She does.

Yeah.

And

that's on you.

But is she roasting her mother like that or just her father?

Like, do you guys just have like kind of a jokey relationship?

Does she know not to tell anyone that mommy boops?

Then it's right.

Right.

Or maybe he's a single dad.

Maybe he's a single dad.

I don't know.

I seriously need more information.

I agree.

Please update us.

We need context.

Usually I tell you guys to like keep it quick, keep it short.

Because like who has the time to read a whole Miguela?

Send a Miguel, sir.

Yeah.

And like, is the wife a toaster?

Did she tell you to write in?

Are you gay?

Like, right.

What are the families to?

I need more.

I need more.

I need more.

Hold on.

Actually, if he wrote via email, like, I'm literally going to go stalk his Instagram so I can figure it out.

Like, I'm, I'm curious.

Oh, okay.

Good idea.

All right, our third and final.

Hey, girlies, I'm getting chin liposuction and I need your help.

I'm so excited for this journey.

You're about to go.

You spoke to the expert.

The only time I could schedule the procedure that works with my schedule is the week of Easter.

My doctor emphasized that I need to keep the compressive head wrap on for seven full days after the procedure.

My family has a huge crawfish boil on Good Friday every year, and my fiancé's family has a huge party on Saturday as well.

Should I go to these events with a head wrap on and own it?

Or should I lie and say I had some other procedure done?

Or should I risk taking the wrap off for a few hours, both days?

Should I fake sick and skip it?

Sincerely, a soon-to-be single chin toaster.

Listen, if you're doing this, you have to heal right.

Like, do not, definitely don't take it off.

Don't take it off.

It depends how close you are with your family.

Like, if it were me and you guys, like, hell yeah, I'm leaving my wrap on.

Everyone knows already.

But if you don't want to tell people, like, there are other things that you could say, like, oh my God, wisdom teeth out.

You will also, as somebody who's gotten the procedure, you will also be swollen.

So keep that in mind if you like want to be seen like that.

For me, yeah, you're right.

It's circums, like for my, my family and Ben's family, I wouldn't give a fuck either way.

Um, but you might not have that relationship with your family or with your in-laws family.

So do what you think you'd be most comfortable with.

You can lie.

You really do look like you got your wisdom teeth out.

That's how, um, that's how you look.

You look like a chipmunk and you wear the same exact head wrap.

So you can lie, but people might notice, you know, your chin looking better in a couple of weeks and then remember that you wore the head wrap.

So let them talk.

Also, like I would encourage to be like, you know, never give a fuck.

Like, yeah, I got my chin removed.

And what about it?

Yeah.

True.

Also, you could go to your family thing and then maybe skip your in-law thing if you feel like they might be judgmental or you couldn't be open with them and you don't want to lie.

You know, I don't like lying.

So I know.

I would suggest that too.

To skip their in-laws.

Or vice versa.

Even though it's not your family, if you feel like your family would be really harsh, like whatever it is, um, you've got options, but also don't postpone the surgery.

Don't you dare, that's the only one that's not an option.

Yeah, no, your life is going to be so different.

Like, when I tell you, it was the best thing I ever did in my entire life.

Like, you're going to look back on this time and just be, be so excited that you got it done when you did.

Do not postpone.

Your future is waiting for you.

Don't wait another day.

No, do it today.

Love that for you.

Congrats.

Good luck.

The healing is a little brutal.

Surgery around Easter.

It's giving Kate Middleton.

Is this Kate Middleton writing in?

With her in-laws' family.

She's got a big crab boil.

It's Kate Middleton.

Kate, we're so glad to know you're okay.

And we love that you love the toast.

You would, though.

You would.

Because it's a jolly good show.

And it has been a jolly good show.

And we're going to wrap this up so we can get this episode uploaded for you guys in due time.

Dupad time.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We are also available as a podcast anywhere podcast can be found.

So, Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public, Ready, Your Hero Ready, Cast Box, all the places you have listened to podcasts by Netflix, toast, and Fox Robbie, but anyway wickedly talented we are.

Love ya.

Sorry, I keep saying love ya when that's your line.

Like, I don't know.

I keep saying yesterday and today, I stepped on your toes.

How wickedly talented we are.

Love ya.

Bye.

It's not a crime to love them, too, turdy.

It's not.