FunnyD Deficient: Wednesday, March 13th, 2024

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Wednesday.

It is hump day.

That's right, so don't forget to hump someone you love.

Speaking of somebody I love, it's my co-host, my sister, my rison d'eterre.

It's Jax.

Reason d'eterre.

Is there a higher compliment in the land?

I wouldn't know because I actually don't know what rison d'eterre translates to.

I just know it's like reason for.

Reason for being.

I mean, I.

If the show is.

It's the reason why I wake up in the morning.

Well, the reason why I wake up in the morning these days is Tromeo, specifically this morning because one Ben Soffer celebrity left super early on a flight.

I'm alone with Tromeo for the next couple of days, like

single parenting it.

And I'm not looking forward to it, especially the morning ones.

Ben does it in the morning.

And like today, I seriously, like, was really unhappy.

However, however.

Yesterday was our first no accident day.

Put a one-up on the board.

One day without accident.

I do think I have a better chance of having more accident-free days

with Ben's offer celebrity being out of town.

And now, that's not to say that he's a neglectful parent or anything.

I just think I have a better chance of having more accident-free days with him gone because Ben just sort of like marches to the beat of his own schedule when there's like very clearly a schedule we're supposed to be following that was given to us by the trainer.

He has a hard time following rules.

He's like, oh, it's sad.

He has to go in the crate.

Like, it's actually not sad.

That's his home.

It's very lovely.

Like, I have no qualms about putting Romeo in the crate.

Ben thinks it's literally like abuse.

Yeah.

No, these next few days will be good for the schedule and also good for your bonding as you further cement your role as primary caregiver and favorite parent.

As number one, you know, giver in this group.

Yeah.

But, you know, yesterday was a big day.

Very proud of Romeo.

And, you know, it was so gorgeous outside.

What were you going to say?

Oh, one.

One, one, we have a one up on the board.

Yesterday was like the first nice day.

And, you know, people in New York like treat it like it's six, like seriously, 95 degrees.

Were they laying out in Central Park?

So, let me tell you, I was in the park because I did my first session with the running coach, which went fabulously, might I add.

I really, I can't lie, I loved it.

Like, I'm just that girl running, you know, and I know everybody's like looking at me running, be like, oh my God, she's gorgeous, she's athletic.

I want to be her the way we all look at other runners, you know.

I'm her now, and I just, I could tell everyone in the park was like deeply jealous of me.

And really,

did they all stand up and start clapping?

They were in awe of my athleticism, and like, you know, it was busy because it was really nice out.

So there was like people, schools, elderly, you know, people getting engaged, things like that.

And they were like kind of in my way on the trail.

So I was like being such a classic runner, just sort of like cutting through like beep, bop, boop, bop, giving very much like pinball energy.

Do you not think that you're one of those like cliche first day of spring people getting out there and getting after it?

Yeah, but when I like what people in the park were saying about me is that it wasn't cliche because I was so like elegant in my running.

It's like you do this every day, not just on the first nice day.

Right.

So sorry, having said that, Romeo and I spent so much time outside yesterday because my building has a lot of outdoor area.

There's also a little like dog park in my building.

And oh my God, everyone in the building was out and about.

Like it was just one of those days.

And it's really nice again today, but it's not going to be the same as yesterday.

Like yesterday was the first day everyone was out.

Having a dog really allows you to get to know your neighbors and your neighborhood because you're just like on the street in front of your building like multiple times a day.

You see the same people like going to work,

coming back from work.

Everyone makes this, oh yeah, cutie.

Let me tell you something.

I'm so glad you said that.

You just reminded me of something.

So at my old building, there was another cavalier in the neighborhood.

And not to be so rude, it was like one of the ugliest dogs I've ever seen in my entire life.

Like I hated this dog.

And the owner like always wanted Theo to play.

And like Theo was outside for a reason.

Like he was like, let me take this dump so I can get my ass back upstairs.

He was not a dilly dallier.

He didn't like to, you know, roam the streets.

And he certainly didn't want to hang out with this nasty looking mutt.

He didn't like to roam, you know?

Exactly.

So it was just this thing, like me and Ben, whenever we'd get back from the walk, be like, oh, we saw the lady.

Like, it was just like this funny family inside joke.

I haven't thought about her, you know, since I moved.

And since Theo passed, I'm walking to work the other day.

I see the lady.

But she'd never dog.

And I didn't have mine.

So she didn't recognize me.

And like, it took me 45 seconds to place her.

And without your dogs, like, why would you talk?

No, of course not.

But by the way, she's the type of lady who would talk is what I'm saying.

for sure no but like they're the reason to tear other than the dogs like the two of you are just strangers passing and with my new building since there is there's a big dog community in my building because it's a very dog friendly building and actually the super has a dog and theo

excuse me romeo romeo had like a little play date with the uh super's dog this morning and I just feel like I'm about to get some special treatment like for real in the building.

It's true.

It's a great way to make friends, get building tea, because you're just around in the lobby all the time outside the front of the building.

Like you just see stuff.

You're right.

Actually, yesterday I found out the craziest thing about my building.

Because

they're changing the name of the building.

That's weird.

And they were actually asking if you had any ideas, like you can put it forward.

Like the names of buildings are meaningless.

It could be called the charity, you know?

Like, oh, I should put that forward.

You should.

So they're changing the name.

You're right.

I do learn a lot about my surroundings.

Interesting.

A building rebrand.

I'll try and think of some names for you guys.

So, Ben's out of town.

Um,

my best friend Abe is out of town, so I really have nobody.

Come here, literally.

Romeo.

I mean, training Tromeo in a backyard would be so much fucking easier than what I'm currently doing.

By the way, what if it like Ben just came home and I was gone?

Romeo should be here,

he should be here standing with his arm around Brew here.

He really should

think about it.

We'll talk about it offline.

Oh, speaking of things we're doing offline, today's such a fabulous day.

One, it's Wednesday, which is just always, you know, good show energy.

Two, programming update is that we both are fully caught up and we watched a new episode of Vanderpump Rules yesterday.

So instead of deer toasters today, we're going to do that tomorrow.

And today we're going to do a big recap of Vanderpump Rules because I watched three episodes last night.

And if that weren't enough, today at 5 p.m.

Eastern time, for our Patreon subscribers, which you can still join as of this moment, we are doing a YouTube live show.

We love doing a live podcast.

It's kind of, you know, it's cocktail hour.

It's 5 p.m.

Eastern Time.

The day is winding down.

Jackson and Turdy are doing a little toast after dark.

We play some of our favorite games.

We talk about pop culture.

You probably get a Tromeo POV.

True.

And it's just something we like to do once a month sometimes on Patreon.

It's so fabulous.

It's for members only.

So if you head to patreon.com slash toast, you can become a member now.

Just in time to see us live at 5 p.m.

Eastern Time.

There's a chat.

You can write with the other toasts.

We read the comments.

So it's very interactive and fun.

And it's truly the toast after dark, even though 5 o'clock these days, it's nice and sunny thanks to daylight savings.

Yeah, let's talk about that too.

How is that going for you?

The toast before sunset.

It's going great for me.

I'm loving every minute.

I'm loving every minute of having extra daylight.

I agree.

Because you know what I've been doing recently?

I've been praying for daylight and it's finally come to fruition.

And it's definitely a mood booster.

It's good for my health.

It is.

Now we can play outside after dinner.

Oh, that's cute.

And now I'm like, what did we do for the last five months after dinner?

I guess it was like already dark, so it just like felt more like sleepy time vibes.

Whereas now, even at seven o'clock, it's still light out.

So it's not bedtime.

Does that change your kids' bedtime?

It hasn't really, but you would think that it would.

But I guess we just play up until bedtime, then like change in bed, and that's it.

No, like wind down.

The wind down happens earlier, I guess.

Got it, got it.

It's really just better.

And you know, I was suffering.

I don't know if I shared this kind of personal medical news on the show.

I was diagnosed with a vitamin D deficiency, and so I'm hoping this extra hour.

Yeah, I remember.

We all know that she needs the D, she needs it now.

She needs these amounts with daylight savings.

That'll help my D deficiency.

You would hope

one could argue for your deficiency vis-a-vis

the D.

Right.

Do you remember Sunny Sunny D?

But Ben's out of town, so perhaps not.

Do you remember Sunny D?

Sure.

The drink?

Yeah.

Why wouldn't I?

Have I fallen on my head?

I was just thinking about that.

Like, what happened to Sunny D?

I canceled.

But how many kids literally got cancer from Sunny D?

Like, that shit was just not.

not healthy.

Rocket fuel for children.

Literally.

We know too much now.

But I I feel like they did.

Do they still sell it?

Maybe.

And Brave Souls are buying it.

But I think also probably what they've done is they just kind of have repackaged it to be like sunny D organic.

Right, right, right.

Funny D.

I drink that.

Oh, I mean, I don't need to.

You wake up every funny D deficient.

What the lady said, what the lady said.

So dear toasters, postponed to tomorrow.

Vanna Prump Rules today.

Jackson turdy.

Turdy and Jacks.

Okay, wait.

Bryce and Streis.

Bryce and Rice.

Bryce and Rice.

Is that what we're calling the boys?

And Streis, right?

I feel like it's going to be like tro and bro.

I like that.

Let's just see where

we don't have to plan these things.

That's one thing that we don't have to work hard at is the jargon and the lingo evolving and doing what it does.

And I think we should just let the chips fall where they may.

I think that would be the right thing to do.

I think it's generally speaking always the right thing to do.

Like, when in doubt, do you think so?

When in doubt, let the chips fall where they may.

Every once in a while, you must place chips, manipulate them, arrange chips because maybe they fell in a way that wasn't best.

Yeah.

But generally speaking, you may let chips fall where they may.

Can I say something else totally off topic, but complimentary of you?

So I know you'll embrace this topic change.

I have a laugh.

You've been looking so small recently, like just petite and frail.

How is your health journey going?

I know it's something you've been working on.

I've been working really hard on my health journey and mathematically, like on the scale, I'm not seeing the movement that I want to see, but I feel really good.

So I'm trying not to let that bog me down.

I think my body's like fighting me, and they're like, bitch, we know you're about to get back into your bag of chocolate and the chocolate tier.

Like, we're not going to get, you know, we're not going to start moving numbers.

I think they call that a non-scale victory.

No, for Who?

Who?

The community.

Which community?

Like, there are like benefits of like healthy living that aren't weight loss.

No, I understand, but where does that term come from?

An NSV?

I feel like maybe like a dietitian came up with it.

I'm not sure.

But I have found like

I hate it, but it's just like over

describing just, I feel good.

No, I know, but there are other non-scale victories besides feeling good.

That's what I'm saying.

So like better skin.

You might not see the results you want on the scale, but your clothes fit better.

Yeah, yeah.

So that would be a non-scale victory.

Little things like that.

No, I like the term.

It's just.

I know you have a hard time with like the new age language that like comes up with phrases and words.

That comes up with like medical, clinical terms for things that it's just like, I felt good today.

By the way, that's not a clinical term.

It's not a medical term.

It's literally an internet term.

You don't think soon the doctor is going to be like, have you had any non-scale victories recently?

You know what?

I could see it.

I could see it.

So what was the most recent non-scale victory that you had?

Most recent non-scale victory

that I had.

Hmm.

Because I would say mine, maybe yours would be similar, was yesterday when I ran with my coach.

Like, I really.

I like I walked home afterwards.

I wasn't going to collapse, you know?

Yeah, we did the same program of training yesterday and I felt good.

I felt fine.

Like it was hard, but good.

Yeah, did that feel good?

That did feel good.

Yeah, so I would say that's an NSV.

Oh yeah, I ran two yesterday too.

I just.

So I then, you know, told Jackie what we worked on in the training so you could mirror that remotely.

Consider it mirrored remotely.

Thank God.

Like, thank fucking God.

It has been mirrored in a remote fashion.

I have to thank you.

And I didn't tell you this.

Yeah, we're going viral on TikTok because of your Kenny Rottega clip.

Tell me more.

let me pull it up they're just loving

tick tock to be banned i have my moment i heard it passed the house floor this morning but does it have to pass the senate too or it already passed the senate i'm not sure but then i did hear joe biden say if it makes it to his desk he's gonna pass it too like everyone's kind of on board interesting

elon's not on board he's not no i saw a headline this morning i think he thinks it's government censorship okay so it says 700 000 views

you're

sorry, okay, yes.

Wow, cool.

Thanks.

Just in time for the bang.

Here are some of the top comments.

Oh, okay.

He directed Hocus Pocus, High School Musical, and Cheetah Girls.

That man's movies formed my personality.

Like, people just agreeing with you.

And I feel like these aren't even toasters.

Like, we're really just somebody else.

I actually gasped because of how perfect this was.

That was like my feelings as well.

By the way, this, this.

Kenny Orktega could do The Departed, but Scorsese could never do high school musical.

Literally.

Literally.

I think Kenny Ortega also did Descendants, which doesn't get its flowers because it's for the younger generation.

Yeah.

But I'm glad that we can all unite around Kenny Ortega.

And how would you feel if TikTok gets banned?

It's like such a good question.

I, not to be like so, this is going to be like so obnoxious, but there was a time when I first started my career, people used to always say, like, if Instagram were gone tomorrow, what would you do?

And I, honestly, I was like, I don't know.

Now I'm at a place where I feel I'm a multi-platform content creator.

You're a multi-platform artist.

But also, I am, by the way, multi-award winning as well.

Instagram's not going anywhere.

So like, you know, that problem's kind of solved.

I feel for the TikTokers who I'm sure their parents have always been like, well, what happens if TikTok doesn't appear tomorrow?

And it might disappear tomorrow.

For sure.

I would remain unaffected.

I would remain unaffected career-wise, which I think is fabulous.

And I makes me feel really good, honestly, about the business that we've built, that like we have things everywhere.

In terms of like, you know, my days freed up hours back,

I think I would miss it.

It's like an addiction.

Kind of like, I think I feel about it the way I felt about like my vape.

Like I loved it, but I knew it was bad for me.

And that like when the day came when I would be rid of it, like I would feel good when that day came.

I think that's how I feel.

Let me just tell you, I'd be thrilled.

We didn't even ask because we know.

How I'd be thrilled to know that standing on the sidelines will have paid off for me.

And,

you know, I never needed to build my business on TikTok because it's washed away.

Well, you say that, like, very, you know, cavalierly, knowing that the toast has been doing well on TikTok.

Yeah, and like, I was like working on your behalf.

For sure, but the toast success has little to do with TikTok.

For sure, for sure.

But like, you say you're TikTok's older sister.

Like, who introduced them to you?

Like, it's not like you were completely absent.

It's not like TikTok didn't know me.

That's true.

That's true.

So thank you for that.

And for the people who found us from TikTok, I will always be grateful.

But I also know like you would have found us otherwise because we are of your elk and elk finds elk.

To be, that's true, by the way.

Like on an actual serious note, if TikTok were banned, I would actually feel very relieved about the future for my children, like for real.

That I would feel very relieved about, like more relief, not relief in general, but there would be more relief about like everyone's mental health.

Yep.

Everyone's, you know, just falling down like the same rabbit holes, finding themselves to be like experts on a certain subject, even like as benign as the Titanic.

Kate Middleton?

Oh.

Oh, no, Kate Middleton.

Everyone's having so much fun.

But there are all these Titanic conspiracy theories that people really just believe now because they've seen it on TikTok and they're so unfounded.

But like because you saw a TikTok, that makes you an expert.

It does.

And you know, I take Titanic misinformation personally.

Obviously, like you're really taking this personally calm down.

No, I'm just, I wanted to use a benign example because of course he Osama bin Laden.

Like of course.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, it's a slippery slope into like actually i mean it's like a radicalization platform for a lot of kids when it comes to like the war in israel and anti-semitism and then that you know it's like kind of emblematic of that person in the air force who set themselves on fire chanting free palestine like clearly that person was mentally ill and his parents like literally said that he had fallen into a propaganda like campaign on social media and it cost him his life like it's serious it is serious and of course in a perfect world like these algorithms could be neutral less biased and positive.

Like not one bit of content carries more weight than another.

And it was not censored as it is.

But that's not happening as long as China owns it.

So I think they would want to sell it.

That would be good too.

But in general, if it just has to go, bye-bye.

And no, by the way, I'm also just a very happy.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

You are bigger than the whole sky.

I'm also so interested in like the creator economy and like what actually would happen to all these people who built platforms.

Who has built something big enough to exist without the platform?

It's very hard.

Yeah, but I think if you've been doing a good job and you would have had success anyway, then you would find your success elsewhere.

And people, I do think this will be great for the reels community.

And people are doing really amazing things on reels.

Yeah, Jackie sent me a TikTok.

I didn't even want to tell you.

You sent me a reel yesterday on.

like Instagram DMs and it was such an old trend.

What is it?

If I won the lottery, I wouldn't tell anybody, but there would be signs.

Oh, I've seen the trend, but I sent it to you because of what it was, the content of the video.

Okay, I thought that was your first time.

I thought it was a funny take on that trend.

It was, it was, it was.

I thought you just were introduced to the trend.

No, no, you would have to know the trend to understand this video because this one was, if I won the lottery, there would be signs.

And it was just like tons of blueberries because like all the kids eat are blueberries.

And there were like gorgeous looking blueberries.

Yeah.

Oh, speaking of, I went back to the kosher market yesterday.

Me and Ben, like, we couldn't figure out what we wanted for dinner.

I was like, let's just walk over to the kosher mart, Ori's.

I don't know if you saw Aries posted us on their Instagram.

Like, what I tell you, I've accomplished a lot in my career.

And, like, it takes certain things for people like who I've known forever to be impressed.

I saw all my friends after.

They're like, did you see Aries posted you on Instagram?

Like, that for them was bigger than Madison Square Garden.

Like, that's beautiful.

Is Ori's our new sponsor?

Do they share it?

I don't know.

I don't know if they can be considered a sponsor when I pay full price and I've never been given, you know, so much as a discount code.

And let me tell you, it's pricey, but I do feel it's worth it.

So I've really kind of been like in my orange era.

I've just been like a girl who like eats oranges in bed and like oranges or clementines?

Oranges.

Oh, wow.

You take the time to peel.

Let me tell you, clementine is delicious, but it's fleeting.

It's too small.

I'm like, it's fleeting.

Yes.

Like, I'm going to go to all this trouble for like I can eat a clementine and I wouldn't even be trying to eat it fast, 30 seconds.

Like, it's not enough for me.

I like to cuddle up in bed and like it's a project too the orange it's like a it's a journey and i don't know i just love the way it smells and then i'm just like a cute little girl with my like fuzzy socks and i'm just watching van and primarily eating an orange that was me yesterday i just felt very girly very feminine and i loved it what kind of oranges you have sumo oranges because we have them here and apparently they're amazing libido's always talking about them but i've not tried one everyone on tick tock is always talking about sumo oranges.

I don't know anything about them.

I also don't look.

Like when when it comes to apples, I'm like very specific about, you know, Granny Smith versus Honey Crisp.

Orange, if it looks good, I take it.

I actually think you wouldn't choose a sumo apple.

They look a little disfigured.

Sumo apple?

Sumo orange.

The sumo orange doesn't look like a gorgeous picture perfect orange.

No, yeah, I like, I need it to be gorgeous, the perfect shade, huge.

Also bought a cantaloupe.

To carve yourself?

So the last time, the thing I love about this market is they have so much pre-cut fruit.

Now, of course, it's like triple the price, but it saves you a lot of time.

Last time we got it, I'm like, you know what?

I'm not loving the cantaloupe.

So this time, Ben was like, let's cut it ourselves.

Oh my God, I'm 20, 30 minutes cutting this cantaloupe.

I get it all in a tupare.

It literally wasn't good.

Maybe I don't like cantaloupe.

You don't like cantaloupe because I had cantaloupe here while you were here and you were clowning.

You were like, this cantaloupe has gone bad.

I'm like, no, that's what cantaloupe tastes like.

Okay, I don't like cantaloupe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good to know.

You've learned something new about yourself every day.

So when I went to the market last night, I experimented.

I'm getting into Kiwi.

KiwiCo.

Yeah, I'm getting into Kiwi.

Okay, cool.

Yeah, that's just like the new thing I tried.

Like, you know, I also was never someone who ate oranges, and now like Ori got me into oranges.

What about peaches?

I'm like, actually, delighted that you brought that up because

I feel a really specific way about peaches.

There's a very short window of the year where I'll fuck with a peach so disgustingly hard.

Now they sell them year-round,

which actually should be illegal because it's, it has a time, where we are coming up on peach season.

What I was thinking the other day is I don't think fruits were meant to be like certain products are not meant to be year-round cherries things

because we were just at the strawberry patch and maybe at other times of the year they don't grow strawberries because it's not strawberry season.

And it's like, I feel like this is a modern invention where we get all fruits all year round.

I like it.

And it wasn't supposed to be this way and our fruits are suffering because they're growing when they shouldn't be growing.

I feel like back in the day, it's like you only had strawberries one season out of the year.

And it was like exciting to have a strawberry at that time.

And it was a tasty strawberry.

I agree with the thesis, although I do think there are certain fruits that are year-round, strawberries being one of them, blueberries.

Like there are, I think, more exotic fruits.

Like they're the basics, and I think the basics are year-round sustainable, you know?

But then the peaches, I think, are

seasonal.

I feel like apples.

What about apples?

Because I feel like there's apple season in New York.

You go apple picking.

You don't go apple picking in the spring.

Okay.

There's apple season in New York for apples that are grown in New York, but you can climate-wise grow them in other places.

And that's what we're getting at the grocery store in the middle of February.

We're not getting New York apples.

Right.

But you know what?

Now that I'm such like a fruit head, is that what we're calling ourselves like the fruit community?

Maybe I'll go apple picking this fall.

You should.

Yeah.

You know what?

Like, this is how it starts.

No, we are homesteading trad wives.

We don't even realize that we've been,

we've been radicalized.

We have been radicalized for sure.

Wait, I'm just a slow start.

Like, and I feel like most people come at it from sourdough.

That's what I see.

Like, at first, you get a sourdough and then you have chickens.

But I feel like I'm bypassing sourdough.

It doesn't.

I don't feel the need for it other than it's like what my people are doing, but you have to grow your sourdough.

And

It's like a living organism.

Yeah, like a plant.

And what would I do with a loaf of bread even anyway?

I'm on a diet.

Right.

But if I'm making my own sourdough, then my bread is healthy for my diet.

But it's still bread.

Yeah, like it's still not what I should be eating.

So I'm sorry, I brought up the kosher mark.

All sad to say, they had a lot of pre-prepared foods and I ended up getting a rotisserie chicken.

Now, fun fact about Turdy is she loves a rotisserie chicken.

This will not surprise anyone if you know Turdy and you've been paying attention.

For sure, but I just think a lot of people would be shocked to like something pre-prepared, like sweating in a meat case all day, like is something I would like.

And I have to tell you.

If only they saw what you ate when you were little.

Right.

Your chicken.

I have to tell you, Jackie, about this rotisserie chicken.

I'm sure it was the best thing you've ever eaten in your life.

It was the best thing I'd ever eaten in my life.

And I've had a lot of rotisserie chickens.

And some grocery stores in the city carry kosher rotisseries.

Allies.

Ally shit right there.

Fairway.

Thank you, allies.

Thank you.

She is an ally.

However, you you know, when you're kosher, you're desperate.

So you just eat whatever.

You're like, yeah, it's good.

It's good.

It really took me eating this rotisserie chicken from Ori's to know how deprived I've been.

Jackie, I could have drank the juice at the bottom with a straw.

No, it's so crazy and unfair to me.

I don't like to complain that, like, some people can just go to Publix and buy a rotisserie chicken and just have that for dinner every night if they want to.

No, I said, I'm like, I literally would never cook.

If I had people over, I get two of these rotisserie chickens, put them on a plate, and pretend like I made it.

Like for some, for most people, like that's having a pre-made rotisserie chicken.

Like, people are always talking about pre-made rotisserie chickens.

We're the best ones, Costco.

Like, that's a daily occurrence for them.

And, and I find it unfair.

I do.

I mean, if we lived in Israel, like, we wouldn't have these problems.

That's true.

Or you could just live near Ori's.

Yes, so true.

Honestly, I don't live close enough.

And let me tell you, once you get within like a three-block radius, oh my God, it is the social scene of the century.

Like me and Ben were walking.

Oh, my God, you saw this guy from basketball team.

I saw someone from high school.

Like, it's literally once you get in, it's kind of like a vortex.

Once you step in with like a three-block radius, east, south, north, and west, like it's over for you.

Speaking of chicken, I've been cooking chicken every night and I have officially perfected baked chicken.

Do you think that's why you look so good?

Because I'm upping my protein and I have egg whites every day too.

She's literally on her protein grind.

I teach her in the gym, bro.

I should probably just do keto right now because I'm having a lot of protein options, but it's like, I can't let go of my popcorn and my true fruits.

I can't.

By the way, that's literally me.

I've been really trying to do like mostly meat because I'm a volume.

What I've realized about myself is I'm a volume eater.

Like I need to eat a lot.

I'm good to be full.

I'm hungry.

No, but I'm a volume eater.

Like I need to eat a lot versus like, you know, small portions of like dense things.

Do you know what I mean?

I actually would have thought you were the opposite.

No, it takes a lot for me to get full.

So like when you're, when you're a volume eater or something like keto, where you can have unlimited protein is great for you.

So I've really been trying to do that.

But like at the end of the day, like a true fruit, my popcorn, like things, you're right.

I can't give up.

These are important to me.

So maybe I could swap them for like keto-friendly late-night treats.

I just don't know if I want to go the way of keto.

Like,

no, then you start to smell.

It's such, it's so foolproof, though.

Like, if calorie counting is math, keto is science.

Okay, Sheldon.

Okay, Elizabeth Zott.

It's giving lessons in chemistry.

I love her.

And speaking of celebrities, like, should we get into the show?

We should, because it's our job.

And the sooner we get into the show, the sooner we can talk about Vanderpump rules.

And eat lunch.

And eat lunch, a keto-friendly lunch.

We'll see.

So without further ado, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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You, I'm sorry.

Are you ready for our first story?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's some drama, major family drama in the Hilton Richards, Umanski family.

I'm aware.

This is like the story that never ends.

Out of nowhere, but it's also like coming full circle because the trailer for the new season of Buying Beverly Hills just dropped, Mauricio's reality show about his.

company, The Agency.

And he all of a sudden is saying what happened between him and the Hiltons when he worked for Rick Hilton and what led to a falling out within his family, which this is the exact story that people speculated for years and exactly what we thought happened, but they didn't ever talk about it because it's family.

Right, because when we met Kyle on The Real Housewise,

like the first two, maybe three seasons, that is when he left.

And when we met her, she wasn't talking to Kathy, correct?

I don't recall, but when we met her, Mauricio hadn't started the agency.

Right.

He started maybe like season three.

So in the time that we met her, he was working for Hilton and Highland, which is Rick Hilton's real estate company.

Rick Hilton is Kathy's husband.

Yep.

Then he left and then they started the agency.

And in that time,

Kathy and Kyle were no longer speaking and Mauricio went out on his own.

So you have to think these two things are related, which is what we always thought, and which turns out to be true.

But now Mauricio is telling the story on his show.

He said, quote, I think I kind of got fucked by Hilton and Highland.

And when I say fucked, you know, like today, I'm happy, but there was 100 agents at Hilton and Highland.

He said they did a billion dollars for the first first time a year.

I was 19.6% of their production.

He remembered that he thought he deserved to be made partner because he contributed so much to the agency.

But when he asked Rick for equity in the company, Rick termed him down.

So he quit and started the agency, which he founded in 2011 and has since become a major real estate firm and is featured on his Netflix series.

He also talks about on his show.

Kyle's reaction when Kyle told him this and she was like, you know, this is kind of going to be a big thing in the family, but I support you.

And she completely supported him.

Well, I mean, that it worked out for them tremendously.

Whatever ended up actually happening at Hilton and Highland, I'm sure everybody has their own version of the truth.

You know, but this makes sense.

He was a major earner and he wanted to be a partner or have equity and they said no for whatever their reasons were.

So he said, if I'm doing this here, I can do this on my own and started his own thing.

Now, but also his own thing is in direct competition to the thing that he was working on with his brother-in-law.

And I'm sure his brother-in-law like helped him get started and had connections.

Of course, no, Hilton and Highland was like a very successful real estate firm, like long before Mauricio was there.

Like they did him a favor and gave him a job.

Right.

And so he took it.

And I'm sure, I'm sure that they see it as like him being greedy.

Like we gave you a job.

Like we gave Kathy's like, I gave my sister's husband a job and look what he did.

Like I'm sure everybody sees it a different way.

But Paris Hilton left a comment.

So I have the comment here.

She commented on a post about the subject and said, My father is a consummate gentleman and has always taken the higher road.

He would never speak negatively about his family, especially in the press.

Frankly, we are all sick of him using the Hilton name every chance he gets to plug his lame show.

It is enough already.

Yikes.

Okay, so like, first of all,

this signals to me, first of all, just Mauricio kind of telling the story and not in a nefarious way.

And he also said, like, I have nothing ill to say of Hilton and Highland because I think nothing ill of them.

Like he was.

Not like trash talking or anything, just like telling the story as it happened.

But to me, it signals the fact that he would tell the story finally that like him and the Hiltons, because he has no no relationship with kyle anymore like he doesn't care oh yes i totally forgot their divorce for so long he wouldn't say because like that was his family and and kyle didn't want it out there but now it's still his kids family it is but i also feel like of course you don't air your family's dirty laundry but kyle and kim and what's the other one kathy sorry i thought kim okay kyle kathy and kim have been fighting publicly for almost a decade like this is one small small piece of the public.

So, like, who even cares?

I don't think it's such a good idea.

It's not even though that he finally said what happened.

No, it's not even that.

You're not supposed to, you know, air your family's dirty laundry in public.

We have so, like, crossed that line years ago.

Like, that's not even an issue anymore.

That's what they do.

Yay!

Of course.

That's what this family does.

So, like, now,

why is this different?

And I also feel like this is the least dirty piece of laundry of all the fights that have been out there, you know, like alcoholic, the house.

Of course.

It's been so much nastier and dirtier.

I feel like now it's kind of ancient history and he's just explaining this on his real estate show, how he got his start.

I do also think that, you know, I'm sure everybody has their own version of the truth, but let's say it happened exactly as Mauricio described it.

I don't think that makes really anybody look bad.

It makes Mauricio look like a hard worker.

It makes Rick look, you know, magnanimous for giving this person a job and really giving him a start, but not forking over a piece of his company.

Like, I don't feel like it makes anybody look bad.

I don't think so either.

And I'm sure if Rick had a show and said his side of the story, he would have perfectly good reasons for not having made Mauricio a partner, giving him equity at that time.

Yeah, also, like, I feel we're always getting news about this family from this reality show on Netflix, like, more so than the Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Like, Kyle's never been, like, super transparent or forthcoming on Housewives.

I feel like she's gotten really far just kind of coasting and always like being a little bit of a pot stirring.

And I feel like we got that footage of the girls finding out that the parents were separating on the Netflix show.

It's like they're giving a lot of the stuff to Netflix.

I feel like I would because that show is more their show

than Beverly's.

It's like kind of their, I've actually never watched it.

It is about the agency, but I think their family has more of a stake in that show.

And

I think that show was actually really successful for Netflix.

And, you know,

being one of the last remaining OG housewives has to be like a bit of a pit for Kyle.

Like, they're really all sort of dropped like flies, except for Teresa, who is...

Kyle's not Teresa.

No.

and so you can only get away so long by being like low-key uninteresting like to the to the plot line that was sort of like Kyle's kind of brilliant actually when you think about her career as a housewife she's never really up until this season with everything going on in her divorce she's never had like a crazy embarrassing crazy like bled out moment she's just like always been really relevant and I think that's what Lisa Vanderpump was saying you know towards the end for Kyle I think those embarrassing bled out moments are the ones with her sisters and her friends Oh, actually, I'm sorry.

She bled out the first season and then never again.

You're right.

Yeah, she was like, fuck this.

Yeah, no, she actually, I'm sorry, you're completely right.

I take back everything I said.

She created that, she put that franchise on her back for 30 seconds, destroyed her entire family for it.

And you know what?

She's been rewarded ever since.

Yeah, and then even more recently with Kathy, and then her relationship with Kathy suffered.

And now it's coming to a head with her marriage.

I watched a little more last night.

I'm going to keep watching Beverly Hills, sees what's going on, but it is weird.

But I, I, I toggle between two feelings of like, yes, Kyle is not being completely honest, even just in the fact that she's now sober, she's working out all the time.

And to me, watching her, like, she seems like a different person, not because of those things, just her personality, the way she's.

And Sutton's like, be honest.

What's going on?

Be honest.

And because Sutton feels like, if I'm your friend, like, tell me what's going on with you.

But if you're my friend, you don't ask me like that and you don't ask me on camera.

Especially if you think it's because like there's something going on with mauricio so it's such a hard line to walk but i feel like dorete walks that line perfectly she's really good friends with kyle she clearly you know knows too but she would never say something like that yeah and that's what the women of beverly hills have always done almost to a point where it's annoying for the viewers they really do protect one another yeah um especially when there was that core five what do they call themselves the foxy five or whatever like dorit lisa erica kyle and teddy they like had this sort of pact that they wouldn't turn on one another and they would make the show good but not at the expense of anyone's families or personal, whatever.

Um, and so Kyle, I think, is sort of expecting that from Sutton and not getting that.

Yeah, but I also feel like she gets it from Darit for sure because they're true friends and their husbands are friends.

I feel like Erica's now just like, as long as it's not me, yeah, you know, Erica's, I think, was like hardened by her experience going through it and how nobody really stood up for her.

And she's like, fuck these women, like, whatever.

And now that Lisa Brenna's gone, like, the one true friend that she had, like, I don't think she gives a fuck.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I'm really enjoying Erica this season.

Oh, good.

Yeah.

She's like,

it's been a lot for her.

She reminds me of Lala.

Yeah.

And we'll get to that.

I have a lot of thoughts on Lala.

Me too.

My absolute queen.

I kind of agree.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Which is actually big news.

There is a new show coming out from Discovery ID called Quiet on Set, The Dark Side of Kids TV.

And Drake Bell is speaking out and he is sharing that he was sexually assaulted by his Nickelodeon dialogue coach.

So for the first time, Drake Bell, the one-time star of Nickelodeon's Drake and Josh, has spoken publicly about being reportedly, repeatedly molested by dialogue coach Brian Peck when he was a child.

The announcement comes as part of Drake's appearance in ID's upcoming four-part docuseries, which uncovers the toxic and dangerous culture behind some of the most iconic children's shows of the late 1990s and early 2000s, many of which were produced by Dan Schneider.

How unfortunate that this guy's last name is I know because throughout the whole story, it's like he slept at Peck's house.

Right.

And I had to go back to be like, Peck, it's Brian Peck, no relation to Josh Peck, who was on Drake.

Who was on the show?

Yeah.

Beyond unfortunate, I think, for just confusion purposes.

I feel like if you've been paying attention, this is not shocking at all.

Like, you know,

Drake

was a like, it's a cycle, sexual assault.

So he ended up a perpetrator, most likely because he was a victim.

I think we all probably could have guessed that based on what we know about the show.

And it's so crazy how, like, all these years,

so many

things have been said, and people just wondering about Dan Schneider.

And, like, this four-park docu series comes out, and

there's, you know, allegations of sexual assault, and they're still not even getting to Dan Schneider.

Yeah, but also, what's crazy about this story, and maybe there will be something about Dan Schneider in the docuseries, but in this story, when Drake finally goes to like tell someone, he tells Dan Schneider.

And I and it doesn't seem, it seems like that was

like nothing nefarious came from that, but can you imagine?

No.

Oh my God.

I just got like chills.

I didn't know that.

And so Brian Peck was his dialogue coach and like worked really closely with Drake Bell as he was now, you know, grooming him and then eventually like became his manager.

And Drake Bell's dad tried to speak out and be like, this is fucking weird.

And he was like ostracized by the show.

Oh my.

And so he backed off.

But but it's just a really sickening story.

And it's like, when you read it,

how he was groomed and then was constantly with this guy because he came in his manager.

He was like, would sleep at his house because auditions were so far away.

It just sounds like a textbook child abuse, like pedophilia in Hollywood.

And it's disgusting.

And that's the thing.

And that's really what I learned with Jeanette McCurdy's book is like.

when it comes to specifically like the Nickelodeon era, but just like child actors and like child entertainers in general, so much of how they end up has to do with their parents.

And so like with Jeanette McCurdy, like the reason she got so fucked was because her mom was so unstable and was really sort of, you know, living vicariously through Jeanette because all she had ever wanted to be when she was younger was an actress.

And so to do that through her daughter was so tough.

Like it really,

it just depends.

Cause then I then I read Josh's book and his, you know, mom, it had nothing to do with his career.

Josh wanted it so badly.

He was the one who wanted to act and his mother was fiercely protective of him.

So it really is so sad how not only did like the network and the people who were supposed to be taking care of Drake, you know, fail him, but a lot of times with child stars, like their parents fail them as well.

Right.

Because here it says that he started acting at the age of five in the middle of his parents' divorce.

And I feel like a predator sees that.

He sees a vulnerable child whose parents are maybe distracted.

Yep.

And preys on that.

Yep.

And that's like, I keep comparing it to Jeanette's book because I think she explains so well, like, how she was sort of the perfect storm.

Like, no one was looking after her.

Um,

she had, you know, grew up in a house that, you know, also money plays like a huge circumstance when you start to become an earner, you know, and your parents start relying on you for like just the basic necessities,

how that becomes so toxic because, you know, your well-being sort of gets put on the back burner because, like, we have to pay the visa bill this month.

And that happened with Jeanette.

She became like a primary earner in her family.

And her family was very poor.

And she had a lot of siblings in the house.

She said she grew up in like a hoarder house.

Like it was just like news.

They slept in the living room because the bedrooms were full of old newspapers.

Like really crazy.

Wow.

Yeah.

So you're right.

Like the at-home circumstances often play a big role and I'm sure like who a predator chooses to prey upon.

Yeah.

Also, I feel like

the

children's entertainment industry like hasn't had the veil lifted off of it yet.

Like, where's their Me Too moment?

There hasn't really been one.

I mean, Dan Schneider stepped down gracefully in 2018.

And he's still working.

Like, he is like a production company.

Like, he works with Paramount in like a very sort of backdoor way.

But, you know, I think a lot of the people who were working then still work now.

And even if they are not necessarily pedophiles themselves, if they ate in the bed and they turn the other way, like this,

there needs to be a purge.

Yeah.

And I hope that this is the beginning of something.

And what's so interesting is I think when we were younger, it was very much like Disney versus Nickelodeon, Disney versus Nickelodeon.

And now, when we talk about that time, I think, you know,

the Disney kids, if they ever really have anything negative to say, it's more so about the fact that they were like a little overworked and just like sort of treated like adults very quickly.

They all grew up really fast.

But there's really not a ton of like nefarious.

I don't know of many allegations being made that they were, you know, abused sexually or whatever.

But with Nickelodeon, it's just like it's everyone.

Yeah.

Well, a lot of the Nickelodeon shows are Dan Schneider shows.

Right.

Like Amanda Show, all that, Zoe 101, Drake and Josh.

Right.

And actually,

not to make a joke, but like, it really kind of comes back to Kenny Ortega.

It comes back to Kenny Ortega.

And he was the man of the time.

He was like the equivalent of the Dan Schneider who was in charge.

And

for all I know, he was incredible.

And everybody still to this day is amazing.

Everybody, you know, loves, loves, loves him.

Yeah.

So it starts at the top.

Yeah.

Um

so I'm sure more news will come out from this series that

should be watched.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

What number?

Three.

Yes.

It's a little news that I love because Hoda Cotby is planning her third date with a mystery man that was introduced to her by Jenna Bush Hager.

Oh no, I love that.

So cute.

So she told Entertainment Tonight that she has her third date coming up with the mystery man that was introduced to her by her co-host, Jenna Bush Hager.

Oh, that's cute.

Hoda confirmed that Jenna did indeed play matchmaker, but she clarified that Jenna doesn't really know well the love interest, just he's a friend, that's fine, friend of a friend.

She said, Jenna is a great picker.

She goes, look, I just want you to know I don't really know him.

A friend of mine knows a friend.

Nonetheless, she shared that she had a great time and she loved her second date with him.

Stop.

That's like, first of all, the best way to meet someone

mutual setup, friend of a friend.

I don't know him that well, but he has like a, you know, seal of approval from this person that I'm.

It's also great when it's not like, I'm really close with both of these people because likely, you know, just odds.

It's not, you're not going to be a great love match.

And then that's a weird thing.

Then at every brisk gar mitzvah wedding, you got to see this guy you went on a date with once.

So it's cool.

Like you have

accountability, a friend of a friend.

We run in this.

But a degree of separation.

But, you know, we're not going to run into you all the time if it doesn't work out.

This is so cute.

This is so like us coded if one of us is single in 20 years, you know, like obsessed.

Obsessed.

So cute.

So cute.

I

just want to quickly sort of estimate, guess, like, what do we think this guy does if he's like a friendly-ish of the Hagers, you know?

And who is Hager, by the way?

Who is her husband?

Nothing Google can't let us know.

Yeah, I've never really looked into him.

Like, who married the former first daughter?

I know that the other one is Lauren Lauren.

Yeah, right?

Lauren Lauren?

Yeah, Ralph.

She married Ralph Lauren's son, David Lauren, so her name is Lauren Lauren.

Henry Chase Hager, who is Jenna Bush Hager's husband?

Thank you, People, magazine.

Oh my God, they met while he was working on her dad's presidential campaign.

They met while he was working for the campaign.

It said they met during the campaign, but he could have just been a fan.

We just said the same thing.

Oh, no, while working on her dad's presidential campaign.

I didn't see that.

Oh, what do you think?

He came to a rally?

Like

a supporter.

He was working for president george h no not h sorry w bush they hit it off right away um jenna asked him to marry her after dating for just three months he turned her down which led to a humiliating humiliating valence valentine's day incident jenna has previously recounted this on the show um how do you feel about that

he then did propose in 2007 so i feel good about it Let me ask you, is your video still recording?

Because I heard a noise.

Yeah.

Okay, good.

I thought I heard what.

Oh my God, my heart fucking stopped.

I thought I heard what sounded like end recording.

Like the beep, boop.

Yep.

Yeah, no, we're good.

We're good.

Okay, good.

Sorry.

Oh, my God.

She's trying to attack me.

By the way, her husband is mad cute and like, no cap, no cap.

He looks like George W.

Oh, I gotta go look now.

What was his name?

Henry Hager?

Strong name.

Do you think that like they double date with Lauren and Lauren?

I feel like are so I feel like we're always talking about Jenna Bush Hager, of course.

Because she's every day giving us tea.

But the other one, like, what is she up to?

Lauren Bush.

I know they're twins.

Yes.

Oh, by the way, they look literally nothing alike.

David Lauren, yeah.

She's super pretty.

She used to be a model.

She's still Ralph Lauren.

Oh, where did they get married?

I love going on random rabbit holes like of things were like popular before I was sort of socially conscious.

Yeah.

Oh my god, obsessed.

Okay.

So they got, they had like a western-y vibe wedding.

Where?

And, well, I'll tell you, but the Vogue article is how the West was wed.

That's cute.

Cute.

Where?

Over Labor Day, of course, at his family's 17,000-acre double RL ranch in Ridgeway, Colorado.

Of course.

That's definitely, that's a holiday weekend wedding, you know.

Oh, 1,000%.

Where are the pictures?

Like, give me one picture.

You're kidding.

Oh, no, there's a slideshow.

Ugh, I hate a slideshow.

Okay, wait.

She, first of all, the wedding was literally in a field.

Okay, wait, I'm on my way.

This is Vogue.

Yeah, yeah.

She,

you know, comes to the aisle in a horse and buggy.

Oh, it's so gorgeous.

It's so all-American.

He is so his dad.

Oh, he's Jewish, right?

Okay.

Western Union?

Yes, yes.

Cute.

And the picture looks like it's from the 1920s because it's like.

like yes keep keep sliding in that sideshow my ipad's frozen me ipad grandma grandma my ipad wow this was a great sort of rabbit hole i just went down i really enjoyed my time here thank you google great and thanks to you know this story

for bringing us there wait jaggie they don't want me to read it yeah jaggie

hold on lauren bush on google it says her parents are neil bush and sharon bush who the fuck is that?

And her siblings are Ashley Bush and Pierce Bush?

Wait.

Is she Jed Bush?

Wait.

No.

She's not.

She's

Jenna Bush Hager's sister.

Oh, that's why we're never talking about her.

We're always talking about Jenna Bush.

Barbara is her twin.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Lauren.

Who the, by the way, Barbara Bush is

gorgeous.

No, her dad's name is Neil.

Jeff.

What the fuck is Lauren Bush?

Her dad's name is Neil.

Do you know who that is?

Oh, no, no, it's just

resonating.

Yeah, Barbara and Jenna are sisters.

Okay, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Start over.

Who is Lauren Bush?

Now I just need to know who she is.

The daughter of Neil and Sharon.

Neil and Sharon.

So who's Neil Bush?

No, I have no idea.

Neil.

I'm on Neil Bush.

He is the fourth

of

brother.

Okay, he's George H.W.'s son.

Okay, he's not irrelevant ugly.

No, he's George W.

Bush, the former president.

Brother.

So brother.

And so Lauren is Jenna's cousin.

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, great, great.

We're not so far off.

He's a businessman.

Yeah.

Oh, so Jeb is one of his brothers.

George George is one of his brothers.

And George H.W.

is their dad.

They have six children.

Wow, it really is like sort of like

dynasty.

Yeah.

It's a lot of bushes.

A lot of bush.

It's a bushy, bushy beef.

Bushy bunch.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yes.

Which is for me and me only to have to process.

And my other Little Mix stands because former Little Mix singer Perry Edwards' debut solo album has been announced.

And as if she didn't want to hurt us enough, she's calling it.

And it feels

targeted.

Big mix.

Forget about us.

Oh, wow.

She's not even trying to be subtle.

Like, maybe it's about, you know, a boyfriend and forget about us, but it's probably about her telling me that I should forget about Little Mix and give up on the idea that they'll ever get back together.

I actually don't think that it's about that, but I could see how one would feel that way.

So her first single is called Forget About Us.

I'm sorry.

Her first solo single.

So emphasis on the solo and us is a plural and Little Mix wasn't us.

If the us was representative of Little Mix, it would be like that all, you know, we would know, I feel it would come on the heels of all the girls be really being on the outs.

They're all incredibly close and support, except for that one, but they're all really supportive of each other.

Leanne had a solo career.

They all hyped it up.

Like they're very supportive.

I think their babies hang out.

I feel like between the three of them, not the four of them, but the three core members, like,

I feel like there's no bad blood.

If anything, they look back on that time so fondly and they really do believe.

I think of all the bands that have gone on hiatus, Little Mix, Fifth Harmony, One Direction, the ones we have the best chance of seeing together one day again are Little Mix.

Okay, great.

And now here's the good news about the forthcoming album and single, which

is being described as a kind of Kelly Clarkson meets Katie Perry vibe.

Ooh.

Put me in, coach.

The first single was reportedly co-written by Ed Sheeran.

He is allegedly on the album.

So is Ray, R-A-Y-E.

Like, big on the album.

I think, like, so much.

So, I think there was a collab post for her announcement.

I would have liked to, I would like to see some of the Little Mix swirlies on the album.

Of course, just, of course.

But this is good and bad news because obviously it's going to be of the Little Mix vibe, which I love.

Good music for me, but I need my girls, especially as I've been working out.

I listen to so much Little Mix.

So do i and it cuts deep what do you think are like the best little mix songs to like work out to if you need like hardcore beats because and why is it a heartbreak anthem well of course heartbreak anthem david get a little mix but also like don't sleep on and it's called and it's called and it's called black magic i personally so that song

is like sonically and chemically a perfect song yep I've listened to it too much

and I've nullified the effect.

All the girls on the block like an embado.

dog.

So go don't sleep on salute.

Like if you need to power up, ladies all across the world, listen up.

We're looking for recruits.

Like not that I celebrate International Women's Day in earnest, but if I did, like that's the song.

Agreed.

Power.

Power.

Just treat yourself to a little mixed listening party today, everyone.

You don't even have to work out.

No, yeah, but it's going to make you want to work out because that's how inspiring these women are.

I mean, you don't have to tell me about songs that make you want want to work out brokenhearted by carbon

have you even been listening to that of course

i have like a workout playlist that has like 11 songs on it seriously because like they're just like a no-bit song don't you find a lot of sagala don't you find that

if once you hit a point with them where they don't do for you i'll rotate them out don't do for you what they once did I will rotate them out, but currently, like, it's a lot of Sagala.

And if, like, if there's one song that I have to listen to first, like, let's say I'm not feeling it and I just need one song to seriously change me 100%.

It is Favorite Kind of High by Kelly Clarkson, the Dave and Getter remix.

You guys, it is the most pussy popping song on the planet.

It is so good.

What was I saying?

Oh, but Broken Hearted is a mainstay on that playlist.

Got it.

Yeah.

Now I'll like make a perfect working out playlist.

I listen to it too much and it doesn't have.

that power over me anymore.

But then a few years later, I'll go back to it.

And I'm like, I love that.

Hell yeah.

I love that.

Yeah.

That's where I'm at right now.

I'm on my, I'm on my few years ago playlist.

Love that.

I'll share them to my Instagram.

Jackie is.

At Jackie October.

Jackie's kind of amazing at making like a playlist curating.

In another life, you could have been a DJ.

Like a radio, a DJ for the radio, not at the party.

Like, I don't have the stamina.

A lot of lights, a lot of combo.

I just want to say, I do feel like I could see a world in which you get like a second job for a local radio station that like, you know, needs a couple of hours.

You're a professional talker.

You're really into music like honestly i feel like maybe you should sign like see if there's anything out there in your community totally but also like new answer to my dream job question

radio dj radio like elvis duran where i talk and curate music yep yep yep yep my skill set

and maybe i could hire like a smaller dj that could make mashups for me Yes.

And we could have like our mashup hours.

By the way, I had said earlier in the week, Jackie was talking about Ariana Grande's new song, how you really feel like at one point in the song, Robin is going to start singing dancing on my own.

Correct.

And then a TikToker felt the same way, and that made me feel seen.

And he also posted it to Wheels, so I felt extra seen.

So I'll play it for you guys.

Jackie, her mashup dreams came true.

Ready?

It's really good.

Shout out to Adam Music underscore on TikTok.

Check out his other stuff.

You do.

Are we ready for our fifth and final story that's actually going to lead into our TV recap?

So let's do it all at once.

The fifth and final story that's going to lead into the TV recap is brought to you by KiwiCo.

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Today's episode is also brought to you by Sonos.

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I have three move to, one in the living room, one in the bedroom, and one in the second bedroom.

I have, I've never had Sonos before.

Let me tell you how elite it is.

Like, I put it on every day when I come home and I work and I just like walk throughout the house and you would never know where the speaker is it's literally magic i don't know how they do it but it sounds like it's all around me like i have built in sonos into my walls which you actually do which i actually do but i also use my move too for outside and what i also like about it it's like when you're close to the speaker it's not like you feel like you need to turn it down and when you're far away you need to turn it up right because we're always moving it's very universal for everywhere that's can hear the music it's such a pleasure the sound is so good

and i just love having music on all the time as like a soundtrack to my life.

I think it just makes everything like more enjoyable and

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I feel like some of these speakers are so ugly.

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And I feel like move to is a gateway drug because I got a few move tos and now I have for my TV that I haven't set up yet.

Like I have a whole sound system.

I just like now trust Sonos really.

Yeah, my sound bar for my living room TV is a Sonos.

I have Sonos Sonos speakers in my...

That's the only piece of technology I'll allow in my house with me, Sonos.

Oh my God, she's no, because we were saying, like, is it, which one would you want?

Sonos.

Oh, oh, right, right, right.

Our fifth and final story, Dana Primp Rose was on last night.

They dropped the mid-season trailer at the end of the episode.

Tom Sandoval is accusing Ariana of trash talking all of her castmates in the mid-season trailer.

Yes.

We see them finally in the same room together for probably a finale party.

It's hosted by Kyle Chan, the jeweler.

and that's the one that um tom sandoval like a fan sort of crashes and and physically attacks tom sandoval do you remember when that happened in real life and all that people got it on like their instagram stories i never saw that yes oh wow so i it's like a culmination of on the season but i remember when it happened in real life that's insane like how insane do you have to be to go and physically attack someone that you don't know whose actions did not affect you whatsoever

so let's talk about vanderpump roles i caught up on three episodes last night and I just so much preferred it that way.

Now, let me tell you, I'm going so soft on Sheena Marie Shea these days.

Let me tell you how funny she, like, I just thought, okay, sorry, I didn't know that's how the term is being used.

I thought you meant

now, like, I thought you meant you were going against her.

No, no, no.

I've never been like a big Sheena stand or apologist.

I feel like I've actually been really hard on her, mostly because I think like on a personality level, Sheena and I are probably as different as two people could be.

Like we're just not the same.

Um, but I'm really starting to see her in a new light.

I don't know.

I still respect her as a mom.

I think she's an amazing mom.

I love her marriage.

I think so many people tried to clown on it.

But at the end of the day, like, it really appears like they have a true partnership.

And I've just started to love her.

And these episodes in Tahoe, let me tell you, I thought she was so funny when they were just like arguing, not in a way that made me worry about their relationship, but just sort of like bickering when he was like putting his underwear on the floor.

Like, funny.

Like, I was just, so I went into the episode like already feeling feeling sympathy for sheena and maybe it's because last week you recapped sheena's relationship with tom sandoval and the paypal thing and you made me see her maybe i don't know what it was but i think i went in with like an advantage on sheena yeah but you've already been you've been loving sheena and her motherhood journey and her honesty so

she's yeah she used to she's been honest and now it's always like hindsight is 2020 but when she was sitting and talking about how at the upfronts, you know, Tom Sandoval was the only one including her pictures.

And Katie was basically just like, get over it.

It's so easy for Katie to say, because Katie was the bully then, you know, and she doesn't have those memories.

I'm sure those first few years, having to work in those types of situations with those girls who hated you, like was horrible for Sheena.

And Sheena's one of those people who's probably never gotten over it.

And so I understand her having a hard time.

And I know everyone's like, Sheena making it about herself.

And like, she is, she is.

But I thought her reasonings were completely valid, the upfront story, the PayPal story.

And she waited five months to make it about herself, I feel.

Yeah.

And, you know, I totally see her being one of those people who really gets bogged down with like what the fans say about her.

Cause, you know, I actually follow her on Twitter and she is always responding to haters.

Like she's not one of these cool, like Lala, I feel like, just lets it roll off.

I feel like Sheena really gets to her personally.

So I had so much respect for Lala, literally just calling Ariana out.

And actually, Ariana did end up saying something.

And I remember in real time when that photo came out, we were like, oh my God, Sheena and Tom.

And then Ariana saying something actually changed the conversation.

Like it meant a lot.

So so much respect to Lala, who I haven't been like obsessed with in recent years.

So much respect to her for being like, you're not going to help your friend out.

Like, I feel like Ariana just sort of like put her blinders on and like let everybody else do her work for her and then didn't, you know, know the consequences.

Yeah.

And didn't keep her eyes open to see how things might be affecting them.

And she is.

the queen of the cast right now and she can step in to help someone.

And it is Ariana's fans who who are coming after Sheena.

Like those are your stands.

I agree.

I like that Lala had that idea and said it to Sheena.

And I also like that she said the exact same thing to Ariana's face in a way that wasn't offensive.

Yep.

I am going back and forth because when Sheena and Lala talk about

having grace for Sandoval

and all of that, like I hear it and I see it.

And I'm like, yeah,

yeah.

He deserves to be treated.

This is a person.

He deserves to be treated like a human being because he's a human being.

I do not like him on any personal level but he's a human being and he should be treated as such because he is going to be in these rooms with us because we are co-workers so i i've really been feeling that and i i feel like when sheena was going through her emotional struggle in tahoe like i felt that alongside her and i felt and i thought it was i felt pulled in both directions And then when Katie was like, get over it, like he's an actual demon, like that you shouldn't have such a hard time moving on from this person.

And Ariana's like, anyone who has any relationship with him, I don't want them in my life like I feel that too because that's kind of how I know I would be if I were in this situation like

but you that's how you would be if you were Ariana I think Katie's coming at it from a place that I find confusing um I know she really really really dislikes Sandoval like I get it but she's kind of more aggressive and more offended than Ariana.

Yeah, I actually think Lala's POV might be the most neutral because she doesn't like Sandoval.

She has no relationship with him that she wants to salvage, but she's trying to like move forward, move forward.

And the thing is, we have to move forward because we're on a show together.

And if this were real life, you can make those rules and say, if you talk to my ex, I don't want a friendship with you.

But

two things.

One, like they were friends just as long as the other two, but still you should see their character and not want to be friends with them.

But also like we're all going to be forced to be in the same.

rooms together.

We're all going to have to move on from this because we are coworkers.

So it's not apples to apples of like what I would do if I were in this situation.

If I were in this situation, I would remove myself completely from anything having to do with this person.

And yeah, if some of my friends still wanted to be friends with the person, goodbye.

But it's not like it would be affecting our jobs.

So like it's very clear that Ariana and Katie, when this first happened, like their goal was to get Tom off the show.

And if nobody agrees to film with you, even Tom Schwartz, then you really can't be on the show.

There's no point.

But slowly he's getting his way back in.

And to be honest, them being so

not flexible in their thinking is going to really, I think, end up hurting them.

Cause, you know, they're on this trip and then they keep cutting back to, you know, Ariana and Katie in LA having interviews.

Who cares?

Like, it's almost hurting them in a sense because they're being so inflexible when everybody was on their side and everybody agreed, but then slowly, you know, you have to get realistic and everybody's just sort of in the middle now, except for them.

Yeah.

And right now, I think it's fine.

Like people are glad they're sticking to their guns, but it can't go on forever like this.

Like we have to reach some sort of place where everyone can film together and be on cast trips like for the job because this is a job and i also feel like for lala i understood what she was saying and i don't know why katie just like jumped down her throat because lala that was crazy said the same thing about randall like if you're friends with this person yeah don't be friends with me but like one randall was a person that none of them knew it's just lala's ex like It's not like you have 10 years of history of friendships.

It's not the same who's done anything for you.

It's not the same.

It's not the same.

And Randall's not a cast member.

It's not like they're forced to be around Randall all the time and work through these issues.

It's not the same.

And when Randall cheated on Lala, it's not like she had this like big global moment that helped push her forward and propel her career.

No, instead, like she has a child and this person is like wielding her child against her and making her like...

It's so nothing.

It's so not the same.

And I know Lala was about to say like my situation was so much worse and so much harder.

And she's right.

Yeah, no, but nobody wants to say anything that's going to make them look jealous of Ariana.

Cause like, even just sort of like

saying that her getting all this money and all these opportunities, it definitely healed her.

I'm sorry.

Like that's exciting.

And to have gone through a breakup, most people go through a breakup and get nothing.

They literally get a box of their shit back.

Ariana got worldwide fame, love, adoration, and money.

Like that, sorry, it helps.

It does.

But nobody wants to bring that up because it makes them look jealous.

Cause technically, you know, they're all technically in competition with no.

And I think, you know, you would say, oh, money can't heal a broken heart.

but the thing is now we know what we know about their relationship like these weren't two people who were hopelessly in love like it sounds it sounds like she's been hating him for a while and i don't know why they stayed together i just get like bothered with ariana because when they like cut to clips of you know sandoval's and sheena's friendship and then they showed a clip of sheena being like

trying to get Ariana years and years ago trying to get Ariana to see like Tom's a bad guy it was like this dumb random fight I don't even remember what it was about the way she just like rode so hard for him.

Even with Katie, Katie was on to Tom for years.

Nobody could tell Ariana shit.

So we've been trying to tell you for years about this person.

Now you see it and we all have to see it how you see it.

It's like, it must be frustrating that the way she feels dictates everything.

You know what's so funny?

I was watching catching up on episodes the other night and I accidentally started playing an episode from last season.

And I didn't realize until I was like 10 minutes in that it was from last season because it was about like something about her.

And Ariana starts talking about Lala had a conversation with me last night telling me that Tom like he didn't leave the party when he said he was going to leave the party and my grandma had just died and he could have gotten a ride and he didn't get a ride and he stayed markel was there and ariana's in her confessional being like i don't want to hear this like you bring this up to me like i don't want to know this because now i have to deal with this and she doesn't want to deal with it and it's like

that's problematic and oh no and it was

about the fight between lala and tom on the boat in tahoe when tom sandoval is saying like lala you hid your life for so many years.

And Lala saying, well, you hid seven months of an affair.

So can you get off me about hiding my life?

I don't even care that he hid seven months in an affair.

For so many years, the two of them never had to talk about their relationship on the show.

And I think everyone behind the scenes knew that there were so many issues in Tom and Ariana's relationship and no one brought it up and they didn't bring it up and they weren't honest and they kind of skidded it over.

Like you weren't honest about your relationship.

And now you cheated on her and you want all this sympathy because you're trying to say your relationship was bad, but like you lied.

Right.

And if you had shown that it was bad, maybe people would understand where you're coming from more, but you hid.

You hidden.

You made us think like the greatest partnership ever.

Yeah.

And so modern, literally, like, we're not getting married.

We're a modern family.

Right.

And if you were just more honest, things would have seemed more natural in the way that they went down.

But no, he hid his personal life just as much as Lala did, if not more, because their relationship was so much more central to the show.

Now,

I agree.

I went back and forth because like I really felt for Sheena and I felt like, you know what, like if she wants to have a relationship with Sanoval, Sanoval, like, so be it.

But then, when Ariana was like, and she's right, and it flipped my mind, she was like, Sheena's sort of like the weakest language, Sheena is very emotional, very forgiving, very people-pleasing.

Tom knows that that's a way to weasel back into my life and just the social circle in general.

So, she was right about that, you know,

slopping.

And that's so

not how I usually watch things where I understood what Sheena and Lala were saying, but then I also know myself, and I would be as hard-lined as Ariana.

Me Me too.

But it just doesn't work in this context of doing a show.

We have to all be around each other.

And so we need to find a way to move forward.

We don't have to be friends, but we have to move forward.

Right.

And then, like, the buying of the sunglasses, like things like that, we're not making Tom look good.

He's so cringe.

By the way, it was, it was almost like him and Joe spoke before about how to like get these glasses on James.

It was like also orchestrated and choreographed.

She was like, James, like she's cringe.

She's cringe, but her and Tom Schwartz are a perfect couple.

They should get married and have children and be together for decades.

Like, why don't they?

Agreed.

I just want to say, like, I love Brock.

I really just love him.

And I love Jeans, too.

Yes, yes.

And I like Allie.

And you know who I like, you know who I'm kind of loving?

Lisa.

Yeah.

She's been very pragmatic.

Yeah, she's been very good.

Oh, my God.

When he was walked into the restaurant and been like, oh, Lisa didn't run by me that we changed the menu out of here.

And in her confessional, Lisa was like, why would I run by a menu change by somebody who owns 2.5% of the business?

Literally.

He still times hand while it's so hard because it's like so self-important.

I so don't want to like be defending or stick advocate, not defending, but like advocating for, you know,

his growth or just grace in any way.

But it's not about him.

It's just about the fact that like he is a person, he's on this show and we have to move forward.

Do you feel, do you feel like any part of him, whether it was him crying with Sheena or him crying with Lisa or any of the times he's been like vulnerable and emotional, do you, have you found any of it to be genuine?

The way that I feel is, I don't know how it could not be because,

how are you not utterly devastated by what has happened?

But he's not me.

Like, I can't put myself in his shoes because

I'm my personality, like, I'm not him.

But if I were, like, how could he not be completely

heartbroken over his friendships?

Raquel, like his relationship, his relationship with Ariana, the way that the world just turned on him and hates him so much.

Like, how could that not bring you to tears?

No, and I actually thought that him explaining to Brock finally, like, what you guys saw me doing my shows, like, Schwartzy's mom, Raquel, like, I know that made me look like the villain.

And him just sort of explaining that he literally had no choice but to get out and do these shows He needed the money like I actually appreciated that sort of perspective because his behavior post scandival was so insane and really made everybody like see him through this lens of like being a narcissist and being really manipulative him explaining like needing the money like I appreciated that POV.

Me too.

And I just want to talk about money for a second because I'm now confused because Ariana talks about

she had $200,000 in her bank account before Scandival

because she put a a lot of money into her house and then into something about her.

Tom Sandoval, he's the only one who seems to have like unlimited money, but we actually see he spends a lot of money all the time, but he still has more to like give away to friends.

Even Sheena, having lost her podcast, which yeah, that can be really hard, but they're making hundreds of thousands of dollars an episode per season.

Sheena, Tom Sandoval, and Katie Maloney make the most because they've been on the longest.

Yes, Sheena, Tom, and Ariana.

I don't know how much they make.

Katie, not Ariana, because she came off.

Katie, yes.

I think they make somewhere between,

I wouldn't say a couple hundred thousand.

I would say between 500,000 and a million

per episode.

So

I think about it per episode, and I would say they make between 50 and 100 per episode.

Agreed.

And I don't think they're all that far off from each other, except for like Brock and Allie and James even.

Where's all the money going?

They're making a lot of money for people their age.

I don't see that, yes, like they don't live crazy.

Ariana and Tom bought a house that was seems to be within their means for the amount of money that they're making.

They were famous for all of them for many, many, many years before they all bought homes.

Like they all bought homes around the same time and they had been famous for

brand deals and sponsorships.

Apart.

Yep.

Books.

Where has their money gone?

Yeah.

Because it's not like they're even the flashiest cast.

No, not at all.

They're all like kind of like tacky.

Yeah, or they'll have, it's not like Real House is Beverly Hills.

Right.

Nobody has like crazy bags.

Yeah, or they'll have like a couple of nice bags, like, which is

congruous with the amount of money that they make.

But where is the money?

They make a lot of money.

Yeah.

I mean, now post

Scandal, I think all of the, like Sheena's podcast is now like considered a success.

Lala's podcast is considered a success.

It really,

it sort of raises stakes forever.

For sure, but I don't even think their podcast made close to what, like, think of what their podcast make in an episode compared to what they make in an episode of the show.

Yes, also, um, but podcast is year-round.

It does sort of go without saying that

the show prior to Scandival was on its last leg.

I remember they really were struggling.

Charlie, they didn't know what to do.

Old people, new people, they couldn't figure it out.

And Tom really gave the show at least, you know, a guaranteed popular, popularity for three seasons, I would say at least.

Maybe more.

And then those other revenue streams, like the podcast, Lala said she bought a house with it.

She put it down payment with the merchant she made, send it to Daryl.

Like, there is

value in that.

Yeah.

They really should all be thanking him.

And then, of course, Ariana.

Duracell, Dancy with the Stars.

She's on Broadway now.

She was on Watch Robin's Live last night with John Oliver.

I watched, like, I would say half of it.

I found John Oliver, like, his enthusiasm was actually endearing, like, and how much he knew about Bravo.

I just, like, something about his voice, I needed to seriously punch him in the face.

Like, stop talking.

His enthusiasm was sweet.

And I love when someone comes on and like knows everything and like really gets it, doesn't think they're too cool.

Love that.

It was actually too much.

Like, it was too much.

Okay, fair.

And Ariana just sort of like sat there giggling while he was like

being insane.

I don't know.

It was just, the episode was pissed me off.

I had to turn it off.

That's really funny.

I watched it too.

And it seems like Ariana's like not pleased with what's happening this season that she's watching.

And

that's for next season.

By the way,

you know what I was getting

from Ariana this episode?

And it's just ironic because Ariana's actually the one who introduced me to this phrase.

Either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain.

And it's like,

it's crazy because she's not really done anything wrong other than like hold her own and be successful and be successful.

And just make her feelings known.

Like, you can't be friends with this person, but like she can't continue with that and be on the show.

It just doesn't work.

Yep.

And what the fuck is going on with their sandwich place?

They can't get a license.

Because in real time, no, in real time now, they're like at the same place that they were when they shot.

I heard there's something they can't get a license for that's holding everything up.

Bureaucracy.

well it kind of makes them look like shorts and sandy

yeah no i mean and and it makes shorts and sandy's look good because everybody was clowning on them they said next month and now it's two months like it's hard to open a restaurant yeah like it's expensive it's zoning it's permits it's red tape and they just sort of tom and arianna made so much i mean arianna and katie made so much fun of shorts and sandy's we all did and now

They're taking just as long, if not longer.

And it's a much smaller space.

It's not, they don't need a full liquor license.

I don't, they said they might be serving wine, but they don't, like, liquor license is what really takes forever.

I don't know why they wouldn't just open without liquor.

Yeah, no, liquor wouldn't be the thing holding them up because they would do that.

No, because people have been outside and they had pretty much been like, they looked like they were ready to open.

And now the entire front of the building has been completely wiped.

That porch, that yellow and white umbrella, the signage, everything's gone.

Really?

Yes.

Signage is so they're taking away.

Yes.

And they're missing the momentum.

Oh,

momentum's gone.

If they had opened like right now while the season was airing, it'd be good, but it's not going to happen.

And they're also not going to air now because the opening would need to be filmed if they're smart.

So that they're not filming right now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's your Vanderprump Rules long overdue recap.

And that was your show.

Just an absolute pleasure to have done it with my favorite, My Reason Dead Tear.

My Reason Dead Tear.

Tear to Loo.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toastlam Millennium Morning Show, where we do love the Fast Five Stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday.

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