Affirming Our Jewishness: Monday, March 11th, 2024

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the toast, you dirty little sluts.

Happy Monday.

Hope everybody had an amazing weekend.

And speaking of amazing.

Speaking of dirty little sluts.

Oh, duh.

Speaking of sluttiest.

Speaking of nasty little sluts, it's my favorite human being on planet Earth.

Me.

No, I'm kidding.

It's Jax.

Hey, Jax.

How you darn?

Dern good, T-Y-S-M.

Y-W.

Y-W.

T-Y-S-M-F-A.

T-Y-S-F-M.

I'm, my brain is jumbled.

Thank you so fucking much.

Oh, classic T-Y-S-F-M.

Hope everybody had an amazing weekend.

H-E-H-A-W.

Hope everyone had N-M.

No.

H-E-H-A-A-W.

Double-A.

Yeah, double-A.

I-D-T-Y-S-F-M.

I did.

Thank you so fucking much.

I'm so glad.

I had an amazing weekend too.

No, no, literally amazing.

That's so funny.

How's Romeo?

Amazing.

We really haven't caught up with you all weekend.

Like, this is our catch up.

You guys are just going to have to be privy to it.

How are you doing?

How's Romeo?

Tell me everything.

He's doing really well.

In terms of like training and stuff, you know, we've still got a long way to go.

He's so so young.

I can't, you know, I'm so hard on him.

I really am.

I really need to relax.

Like, he's literally born three months ago.

Like, give me a break.

So he has not had an accident-free day, which I'm gunning for desperately.

We'll get there.

They're getting fewer.

Today, not off to a great start.

We already had one.

So

that's okay.

You know what?

In solidarity, Bruno had one too yesterday.

Oh, okay.

That does make me feel better.

Completely my fault.

But the thing about Bruno is like, if we don't take him out like an appropriate time, like he will just pee on the floor.

But like, then when I see it, I'm like, oh, all the signs were there.

Like, you've been at my leg.

Like, I thought he just wanted food.

There was so much going on in my house yesterday.

There was like five kids here and Bruno's schedule fell by the wayside.

It didn't.

I know.

I'm sorry, Bruno.

It's frustrating when like this morning we took him out.

He peed and pooped.

He comes back and 20 minutes later, he pooped in the kitchen.

Like you have to think, his bladder is so tiny.

I know, I know.

And I'm still really learning his schedule.

And now that I take a look back at the schedule, that was my fault.

I know he takes two poops in the morning.

What was I doing?

Like, it's just in over the weekend, we were like, our whole lives revolved around Roe.

I got to work.

I have a job.

I have a family.

Like, Roe fell by the way.

On a Monday morning.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So we're getting there.

We are definitely getting there.

I definitely feel like Ro and I truly connected on an emotional level this weekend.

Like he loves me.

He, by the way, he totally likes me more than he likes Ben so far.

And oh my God, it was time for that.

Theo, like, like Theo loved him to bits.

I will never speak ill.

Never.

But he was a daddy's boy.

He loved Ben so, like, and he didn't even try to hide it.

He loved Ben so much more than he loved me.

And with this dog, I, and I was actually having this conversation with Ben.

It feels really good to be really doing equal parts responsibility.

Like with Theo, I definitely was just like,

bye.

Like, Ben did everything.

I might even be doing a little bit more, you know?

And I'm really the one who can soothe Romeo.

Ben's like, oh, he won't sit down.

I'm like, give him to me.

Fast asleep.

He's a mother's love.

Yeah, so we're really connecting.

We really are.

And it was a great weekend for me, for Ro, for Ben, for everyone.

I love that.

How was your weekend?

My My weekend was great.

Lots of fun.

I actually like went out a little bit Friday night.

Had dinner with some friends.

I did some night driving because Olivia and I went and I drove because happy to not drink and be designated driver.

This was always like meant to be my role to be designated driver because I'm usually sober, but I didn't drive.

So I finally can fulfill

my destiny.

Yeah.

But night driving is like a little crazy.

You can't see shit.

Do you need glasses?

No, like I can see in front of me, but like I can't really see in my rear view.

Like when they're behind me, it's just a bunch of lights.

You know?

No, like

it's actually, I feel like super easy to see in your rearview mirror at night because like the car's lights would be up your ass.

Yeah, but it's like I can't see the dit, I don't know the distance of the lights.

Maybe that's just I need time experience.

Or maybe the lights were just really far back.

That's why it felt like I couldn't see and there wasn't anyone around me.

I don't know.

It sounds like you, a night driver is just as capable as a drunk driver like

stop stop no plus olivia was with me so it was a great opportunity to do some driving we went to the farm this weekend picked some strawberries oh my god two major things happened this weekend jackie

did you pick strawberries as well oh my god did you see that there's balloons on our face time because i did the peace signs oh i think they think you turned two oh

what if i just turned three who does three like that?

That's, you know what that reminds me of, that three that you did.

What?

Is that in Glorious Bastards where they like are able to see that the spy is a spy because he did three like he's from a different territory?

I had to rewatch that movie.

Speaking of Christophe Waltz, he was at the Oscars last night.

He's so creepy.

We're going to do a full Oscars recap, but what I wanted to say was two major things that happened this weekend.

First, we sprung forward.

Okay, yes, we did.

And I hear that people with children, specifically children on schedules, like a child like Charlie, have been really thrown through a loop.

Not so much.

Yesterday, I just kept thinking, okay, so it's really this time.

And yesterday we just kind of had to get through.

But now today, I feel like we all woke up on the same page.

Actually, there was even a little sleeping in in my house today.

Romeo slept in.

But it's like we're technically, you would think the sleeping in happens on the other time when we go backwards, we get an extra hour.

But weirdly, the sleeping in happened this morning and I'm not complaining.

So we sprung forward, which is like on the day, so annoying, like to lose an hour, excuse me.

But now moving forward, the sun will set at like seven.

Hallelujah.

Yeah.

And I know there's a lot of debate and controversy around daylight savings.

Should it stay?

Should it go?

It causes heart attacks, et cetera.

I have a proposal in the middle.

Here it, let's hear it.

I think daylight savings should not be on a Sunday because I want to lose an hour of the weekday, not of the weekend.

I love, love, love that sort of thinking.

Like real, like that's, that's the kind of thinking this country needs, like true creativity.

And compromise.

Yes.

So that's my proposal.

So that was the big thing that happened this weekend.

And then the other big thing that happened this weekend was that Ben and I watched Oppenheimer.

Wow.

Jackie, it was

seminific.

So amazing.

Well, you watched it just in time because it won all the awards.

I know.

And I didn't even really put it together that I finally watched it right before the Oscars.

But then when I realized the Oscars were on and I had seen the movie of the year, I felt so invested in the ceremony.

And then you saw the ceremony and you felt...

No, and then I saw all those muronic people wearing the red pins and I said, oh, T-Y-S-F-M, this is not for me.

We've been having such a good awards season where every time I watch the awards, I'm like pleasantly surprised.

And then maybe, maybe that's why the Oscars were always set to fail because now my ex, I had a little bit of expectation.

And I turned it on and it was so sickening.

Yeah.

Really made me sick.

So I turned it off and watched Summerhouse, which was not sickening because this weekend I also caught up on Banner Pump Rules.

Oh.

Which had me gripped.

Maybe I was.

You were gripped.

Yeah, I was gripped.

Like I wasn't on my phone.

I was really feeling a lot of the emotions that the cast members were feeling.

Like I was really into it and I'm looking forward to the next episode.

Oh my goodness, a rave review from Jackie O'Freebush.

Yeah, I don't know what it was.

There was a lot of emotions swirling around, especially from Sheena.

Yes, and that's what I've heard.

And I'm feeling for her.

I'm feeling for her.

Oh, nobody else is.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I keep up with, like, so funny.

I'm, I watch Vanderpump Rules, but not week to week every week.

So when I miss an episode, I'm like, always just seeing stuff on Twitter.

And everybody's just like, I think the running joke is Sheena, actually, you know, Sheena Shay has very turdy loo like tendencies.

Like, how can she make everything about her?

And I think that was the general sentiment.

It was like, she's so emotional and it's just really not about her.

Okay, she shared one interesting fact that

allowed me to, that allowed me to maybe see her side because she keeps saying like, she lost a best friend in Tom Sandoval.

And that's just like so hard to relate to.

Like, how can Tom Sandoval be your best friend?

Like, how can his loss really be that felt?

But she shared, and this, she, this was just like a throwaway comment that she shared, which was that when COVID happened and they weren't working and her podcast was canceled and she was pregnant, she had no money coming in, she was really, really stressed out.

And she woke up one day to a PayPal of thousands of dollars from Tom Sandoval.

Like that is a friend who is there for you.

By the way, 100%.

And he never mentioned it.

Like, and now I think about paying for James's proposal.

And that just was so extra because he kept talking about it.

And it was so unnecessary.

But like to silently help out a struggling friend like that,

that's a real friend.

I agree.

And it makes it harder to turn your back on them when then you hear, of course they did, they did wrong, but you hear they're having suicidal thoughts.

And it's like, you were at your lowest ones too.

And they were there for you.

It makes it hard by the way i completely agree

so i was starting to see where she was coming from and

i didn't feel like sheena was making it about her i feel like for the last five six months it's been all about ariana and now she's processing her own feelings and no one other than lala is giving her the space to do that got it okay i i'm gonna catch up so maybe we'll do our tv recap this week Can't wait.

And we just got a great show.

Tell me about the stories.

So the stories are unfortunately kind of Oscars heavy because there was other news to come out of the Oscars.

I will say I was really like made nauseous by so much of the Oscars and the Oscars in particular, I think, are

so, of all the award shows, like they take themselves the most seriously.

It's like, oh, these artists, like they're usually the most out of touch, the most insufferable, honestly, because they're really like the highest level, like the most elite and really just obnoxious.

And everybody gets on the podium to preach about something.

And it's like, please, shut the fuck up.

Like, you're talking to real people.

You don't know real struggle.

like it's really i think the hardest to swallow sometimes having said that i did think there were some interesting moments that came out of it like i think a lot of people were so fabulously dressed everybody looked great i thought um i just really really enjoyed i am ken anywhere else i'd be a 10.

i enjoyed i am kim too and i still i love that song yeah no so there were There were positive moments.

There were.

It's just hard because the way I felt today is like, I don't want to talk about the Oscars aside from saying what we will have to say about explaining to people why it was so atrocious, like for the Jewish people, which we will get to that, which is also a daunting task, but it's our job to do it.

Yep.

Um, so it's like, I don't want to talk about other stuff about the Oscars when it was just so rotten.

I know, I don't want to praise it, however, like, there really wasn't much else that happened this weekend, and so for the good of our show, why should we suffer?

Why should we suffer?

Why should we have no show?

Why should we have no show?

Because they're stunk, right?

Right.

No, bring everyone down to your level, right?

So, that's where I'm at today.

So, show

stories, I got a manicure.

It was really like an amazing weekend.

I can't lie.

I don't know why.

It had like a combination of everything.

Even though I low-key like was sick on Saturday, I got a little sniffle.

Probably it was an amazing weekend because you haven't been home in months.

Yes.

Oh, and I went to a workout class, which you know is not something I normally, I really don't like to work out in front of people.

Like it's humiliating.

It's degrading.

Like it really is.

But I wanted to support, you know, my trainer

and friend, Hillary, who you introduced me to,

she, I do her virtual classes and she had a pop-up for the last three months in New York.

And it's down in Tribeca, which is so far.

And I was like, you know what?

I'm going to go.

I'm going to go.

I haven't been there.

And so I went, I brought Ben and I brought Abe, who are two like, you know, men who work out.

And I know they just like walked in and were like, oh, Turdy's little workout class.

Let's see these like little arm movements.

These people were dead.

Oh my God, Ben, this morning, he's like, my hip flexors, he can't move.

They were lying on the floor.

And, you know, I'm not really in good shape, but because this is a class I've done, and it was much harder than the ones I choose to do in privacy of my own home on my phone, I kind of killed it, you know, compared to like these two.

And they were just like, I don't know, I think they were in awe of Turti Lil.

I think they were.

And they were just like, oh, Turti's little class was a little hard, you know?

I feel like that's not to minimize, but I feel like I've seen that a bit where like men, big strong men do like women's workouts and they can't hang.

And by the way, the class was completely full.

They were the only two men.

It's like, it really is a class like that women are drawn to, even though it's challenging for everyone.

Yeah, no, but just like or bar, Pilates, like all of these women's workouts are much harder than I think men give them credit for.

And then they realize like, oh, we can't do these things.

Yeah, Ben's like benching 240.

He's like so proud of it.

Ben would seriously have to go to the hospital if he ever did bar.

Yeah.

Not for men.

No.

So it was just like a well-rounded weekend.

You know, I got some cardio in.

A well-rounded weekend.

I would say so as well.

I love that.

And guess what?

Something I'm excited about today.

Let me think, let me think, let me think.

You're not going to know

because I didn't share yet.

I got a new pair of sneakers.

Oh, wow.

Isn't that cool?

I thought you were going to say, like, I'm pregnant.

No, I got a new piece of

sneakers.

Sick.

The brand is Amiri.

Sick.

And they're just like so cool.

Zach said I looked so trendy today.

He had like heard of Amiri because he's like in the sneaker world.

And then when he saw the box arrive, he's like, you got Amiri's?

I'm like, yeah.

I love it.

Yeah, I did.

I love like putting people like on their backs, like putting their backs up against the wall with something like they're really into.

It's like, yeah, I'm familiar too.

Yeah, I got Amiris.

You're sickening.

Yeah, I have a phone.

I can read.

That's how he felt about also those new balance sneakers that I got through you.

And then he got a pair too.

And it's like, he literally has 100 pairs of sneakers.

I have now two.

Right.

And he had to get the one.

No, you can't have anything as a mom, as a wife.

Like, you can't have anything for yourself.

Yeah, but now we have like the family version.

And it is cute, but it was like supposed to be my special thing.

I'm really shocked that you you haven't commented on like my slutty look today.

Well, you it looks as though you're wearing a skirt.

I can't really see, but you do look very professional.

So, what do you have going on today?

Yeah, no, I don't look professional, I look slutty.

I'm wearing some sheer tights, you insist, leather shorts, and knee-high boots.

It's giving slut.

And to what do we owe this sluttiness?

Um, I just have like kind of a speaking gig after this, and I couldn't show up in my usual crap for the sluts, yeah.

I'm the slut conviction.

No, I'm just speaking at a brothel.

I'm at,

stop.

I'll tell you where I'm speaking after.

It's like kind of like professional.

I wouldn't expect anything less from you.

Yeah.

So I'm just looking like a professional.

A young professional.

Who sluts on the weekends.

And a Monday.

Monday's a weekend for every slut.

Sluts are us.

Classic us.

I kind of love the word slut.

Like, I know what Amber Rose was talking about when she wants, like, take the power back.

Like, yes, I'm a slut.

Yeah.

I married

Taylor song.

I married my first boyfriend, and I've had sex with one person.

I'm a big slut.

You are.

What do I think about the Taylor Shift song slut?

It's actually one of my least favorites.

And if they call me a slut,

I might as well be with the ones.

And if I'm all dressed up, that's really me.

Yeah, they might be looking at us.

Everyone's going to be looking at me today being like, oh man, who's that whore?

By the way, Turdy is covered from the tip of her neck to the tip of her toes.

Not an ounce of skin showing.

Well, if you count my sheer tights, you could see a little bit of skin.

And I'm wearing leather.

It's giving slut.

Okay, if you insist.

It's giving slut.

Turdy, we will think of you as a slut if that's exactly what you want.

Call me a slut.

Okay.

Do it.

Slut.

No, say, you, Claudia, are a dirty slut.

No, Claudia, I don't talk like that.

okay she's a mother what would your sons say if they started calling people sluts you know yeah no no no

i think now it's time yeah without further ado to get into the fast five stories that you need to know And I have something to say before Turdy has something to say, which is that today's episode is brought to you by Tini Lux.

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Yes.

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Thank you, Claudia.

An absolute honor and a pleasure.

So first story is going to be like Oscars, winners.

Recap.

Before we get into the Oscars, we need to talk about artists for ceasefire pins and then Jonathan Glazers

speech.

So let's, I'm going to name them.

Name them.

Billie Eilish, Phineas, Rami Youssef, my actual nemesis, like the person on this earth who I hate the most, Mark fucking Ruffalo.

And then, like, you know, Mahershala Ali.

Mahershala Ali Ava Duvernay,

wearing the red pin.

So what is the red pin, you ask?

It's layered, actually, but the red pin was, you know, if you're an artist for ceasefire analytics, artists for ceasefire, you wore the red pin.

And you would say, Turdy, like, what's wrong with an artist who wants a ceasefire?

Don't we all want the ceasing of fire?

And I would say, of course we do, but I'm Turdy Liu and I live in reality.

And in reality, ceasefire is literally not an option.

Hamas, they're not, they haven't, this isn't a secret.

They said like a thousand times, like, girly, we don't want a ceasefire.

We want to kill Jews.

Ceasefires don't let us do that.

Actually, as recently as two weeks ago, there was a ceasefire proposal that was rejected again by Hamas.

Happens all the time.

They don't respect ceasefires.

If they ever do agree to a ceasefire, which they actually did, there was a ceasefire on, oh, what was that?

Yeah, October 7th, but then they broke it and came and killed thousands of Jews and raped Israeli women and took them hostage.

Now you're going to say, wait, I was on a good chair.

What was I saying?

That ceasefire is not an option.

They do not want a ceasefire.

Even for the week and a half where there was a ceasefire because there was a hostage in exchange, in exchange for violent terrorists.

They still broke that ceasefire every single day.

So if you want a ceasefire, you need to go talk to Hamas.

Ceasefire?

But you are doing Hamas's bidding by putting the pressure on Israel for a ceasefire.

Two people are asking for a ceasefire.

Either people who genuinely want dead Jews and are masquerading that evil anti-Semitism as artists of ceasefire.

I don't believe that all of those artists of ceasefire want that.

The other people who want a ceasefire are dumb, dumb, stupid people who think saying ceasefire makes them feel good.

I want peace.

Who doesn't want peace?

Stop the killing.

No, I feel like saying ceasefully.

Ceasefire is such a,

it's representative of the fact that you know nothing.

Because if you knew even the smallest amount of this conflict you would know like of course who wants to go to war nobody but like this is real life and this is how it's how it's unfolding and it's literally

not an option and if Israel ceases firing there will be no more Israel so you are inadvertently calling for like the extermination of the Jewish people and especially the Jews in Israel so and here's the thing like you're allowed to be dumb and you're allowed to not know yes Don't say anything.

Don't wear a pair of wear a pin.

Don't go on the biggest stage with your dumb fucking message.

You look like a moron.

You do.

And if you look at the history of the red pin, if you look up close to the red pin, why it's red, it's a red hand.

And you would say, oh, that's beautiful artwork.

Well, you wouldn't if you knew actually what the red hand comes from.

There's like this famous, famous photo during the second Intifada of a Palestinian person waving their hands in the air.

There's blood all over their hands and it was like captured by the media.

It became this huge photo.

And if the history, the context behind that photo is that person had lit, so there were two Israelis who wandered into Ramallah and then were detained by Palestinian police.

Two civilians from Ramallah went in and killed that Israeli, that Israeli person with literally their bare hands and showed their red hands.

And people were cheering, like, look, we killed a Jew.

And the media captured that photo.

And that red hand on that dumb fucking pin, Phineas, my nemesis, is that man's red hand who just was literally celebrating killing a Jew.

Yeah.

It's literally, what's the word?

So either you do know that.

It's virtue signaling.

It's virtue signaling for killing Jews.

Right.

And either you know that, so you're like an evil bastard, or you don't know that and you're a dumb bitch and you should don't wade into conversations that you know nothing about.

For me, like Mark Ruffalo, that's classic Mark Ruffalo.

I want to talk about Mark Ruffalo really quickly.

No, wait, wait, wait.

The major.

Two seconds, two seconds, two seconds.

Okay.

Because it needs to be said.

Mark Ruffalo gets away with the fact that people think he's Jewish because he's a curly-headed fuck.

I just need everyone to know Mark Ruffalo is not Jewish.

Even though he was just in that Holocaust movie, movie, All the Light We Cannot See, take it, throw it down the toilet.

Whoever made that movie, whoever's book that is, that allowed Mark Ruffalo to star in your Holocaust movie, why don't you flush that shit down the toilet?

Mark Ruffalo is not Jewish.

I feel like everybody thinks he is.

I thought he was.

So he gets away with being a dick and an anti-Semitic fuck because people think he can speak freely because he's a Jew.

But the thing is,

we have enough self-hating capo Jews in our Jonathan Glazer that Mark Ruffalo can take several seats.

No, I just before we get to Jonathan Glazer

and the ripping apart of his asshole, Billie Eilish.

So I was having a dumb bitch.

I was having this conversation because I feel like she's one of the people

who really knows nothing.

I don't think she put that pin on with any sort of malintent.

I think she's an idiot, like an actual, I mean, she, like, not to be so rude, she didn't go to college.

Like, she hasn't lived in the college.

Well, if she went to college, she'd certainly be wearing the kits.

So,

she's not an educated person.

She's an incredibly talented musician.

She's an artist.

She's got a lot of feeling.

She has something to say.

But this is not an educated person who knows a modicum about history, but who maybe rolled out of bed one morning and said, I want peace.

Right.

And they said, artists are ceasefire.

Right.

So she's the type of person where it's so irresponsible.

And it's honestly like, you know, like, I don't think she's ill-intended, but the way she was so irresponsible.

At this point, it's ill intention.

It's ill-intentioned.

Exactly.

It's ill-intentioned to be like so

vocal about something that you do not know about.

And if you actually knew about it and you're still choosing to be this vocal about this position, then you are evil are evil yeah

so no matter how you flip the coin like you're no good yep

john glazer and by the way whilst wearing a chanel suit a jewish owned company vomiting vomiting and the jews in the industry who dress these people and support these people and prop them up and make them money and give them these platforms even you know she's singing for greta gerwig's movie so is greta jewish yeah she is yeah

i feel feel like she's not.

And she's married to Noah, Jew?

I think Noah's Jewish.

Greta Gerwig Jewish?

Huh.

No, she's not.

She's not?

No.

But she's always in this conversation then.

But she said that the Barbie movie was inspired by Shabbat.

It's an article, I swear.

Wait, did it say Shabbat?

Greta Gerwig wants Barbie to feel like Shabbat.

Greta isn't Jewish, but growing up, her close friends and family were observant Jews.

Why is Greta Gerwig always in this conversation then?

Because for many, I know why, but I.

No, not because of the BDS letter that she signed and then apologized for.

So, Noah Baumbach, is he Jewish?

Baumbach?

B-A-U-M-B-A-C-H.

He's totally Jewish.

Totally Jewish.

Well, as just the wife of a Jew, you have his responsibility too, but I did think she was Jewish.

Baumbach, whose father is Jewish,

technically not.

Technically not.

Half.

Half.

So he ran.

He ran away.

He ran away from that side.

Okay.

Okay, so Jonathan Glazer, who is an irrelevant ugly, I hadn't, you know, I lived a very glorious life not ever hearing of until last night.

He was a director of a film called The Zone of Interest, which is a Holocaust movie.

Actually, it's a Holocaust movie.

It's about like the family that lived right outside of Auschwitz because the husband was a Nazi officer.

Right.

And leave it to this self-hating Jew to make a movie about the Holocaust surrounding around a non-Jewish family.

I can't.

And then he gave his acceptance speech and said, all of our choices to make the movie were made to reflect and confront us in the present, not to say, look what they did then, rather, what we do now.

Our film shows where dehumanization leads at its worst.

It shaped all of our past and present.

Nobody really knew what the fuck he was talking about until he said.

Until he said, quote, and he had written this down, so he didn't mince words.

He said, right now we stand here as men who refute their Jewishness and the Holocaust being hijacked by an occupation, which has led to conflict for so many innocent people.

Whether the victims of October 7th in Israel or the ongoing attack on Gaza, all the victims of this dehumanization, how do we resist?

No, refute your Jewishness.

If I see Jonathan Glazer in the fucking streets, he better run because it's on.

I'm throwing hands.

First of all, buy, like, please leave.

You know,

we don't want you.

We don't want you if this is how you use your position.

You literally made a movie about the Holocaust.

And it's so easy to 90 years on say this was right, this was wrong about the Holocaust.

But I think what people don't understand is like in that moment, I feel like even when we read books, like our stupid historical fiction, it feels like everybody's like, tis the Nazis and there's only like one bad Nazi.

No, like everybody.

Most people, I'm sorry, because there were a few righteous, but that's why we have literally statues and museums erected for the shameful of righteous people.

Yeah.

Because most people were not and most people went along with it and it was so much easier.

That was like the flavor of the day, just like how right now it's so easy to say these things and it's like ceasefire, you know, stop the killing, but

it's the wrong side.

And so you're in this moment and you're and you just made this project and you still can't see.

Yeah.

No.

I can't help you.

And you're a Jew and you can't see the importance of the state of Israel, that Israel is defending themselves.

That it's not just, but October 7th, October 7th is a reason for everything.

Yeah.

And, you know, to have given that speech when Mia Shlem, who was a hostage, excuse me, Shem, I'm so sorry.

When Mia Shem, who was a hostage in Gaza, she was

one of the women who was released during a hostage exchange.

And she's been just kind of traveling around doing press speaking about her experience, hopefully, you know, to change people's hearts and minds.

She was at the Oscars last night.

Imagine sitting there listening to that speech.

After you sat in a fucking tunnel with disgusting terrorists holding you hostage for months.

Imagine.

Talk about dehumanization.

Let's talk about it.

Talk about dehumanization.

Jonathan Glazer, and I want to say, this is a threat.

If I ever see you, bitch, it's fucking on.

And he just like gives so many Jew haters so much ammo.

Like, look what Jonathan Glazer said.

There was a word for Jews like this in the Holocaust because there were them, Jews who like aided and abetted Nazis who sold out fellow Jews.

They are called capos.

Jonathan Glazer is a copo and he can fuck right off.

Vomiting from you.

Your ancestors are rolling in their graves we don't claim you please we don't claim you refute you

all day long get the fuck out of here refute your jewishness i refute your existence you cocksucking ass wipe

let's talk about mia shem because she's the kind of influencer we need in our society so mia shem i just followed her last night she's so gorgeous oh you hadn't been following she's so gorgeous

she's so brave she told her whole story to israeli media and if you can watch the whole interview it's like an hour literally about exactly what happened to her where she was she was being held hostage by a family in their home.

Yes, civilian.

Civilian family.

Civilian family, innocent civilian family holding a young girl hostage, starving her while her arm is falling off because she was shot during the Nova Music Festival.

Don't worry, Jackie, they brought in the local veterinarian to stitch up her arm.

To stitch up her arm, which is still in a cast.

And she's still on a cast, and she went to Elton John's Oscars party last night.

Oh, and by the way, she went to the State of the Union.

She was a guest of House Speaker Mike Johnson, and she is doing advocacy work because a lot of the hostages that she was with in the tunnels are still there.

So she was also, if you guys remember, when they released a hostage video, she was the one, one of the videos where she was like, look, my arm is fixed.

They're taking really good care of me.

And fucking morons in America were like, they're taking good care of the hostages.

Have you heard what she had to say?

First of all, she was literally being held at gunpoint during that video.

Everything she said was a lie.

Like people who believe Hamas propaganda, Palestinian propaganda, I truly, I worry for you.

I don't know how you cross the street without getting hit by a car.

Because you're obviously dumb.

No, but it's also a choice.

Like, it can't, you can't just be that dumb.

It's a choice to be so dumb.

And, like, you really want, you feel more inclined to believe what a terrorist organization is saying and their facts and figures than they're putting out than a democratic country.

With a government, with a, with literally like a public health ministry, with literally infrastructure also being held to the highest possible standard that's that no other country is held to.

But no, you know what, Hamas said said this.

I'm feeling it.

Yeah, they released a video.

I believe it.

Yeah.

You're all dumb and ugly, and that could truly never be me.

So if anything, the Oscars made me actually feel good about the fact that I'm a person of deep intellect, I am gorgeous, and I am a Jew, and you're so jealous of me.

It's disgusting.

The good news is that I think most people who are listening to our show like get that by now.

No, the thing is, by now,

don't even leave a comment.

You're not going to change my mind.

You're just going to make yourself look stupid.

So go away.

But one, I couldn't talk about the Oscars without explaining these things.

And two, I think there are still people, and I think I see comments sometimes.

It's like, but what's wrong with ceasefire?

Of course, of course.

Ceasefire is so nice.

It's a fair question if you don't know enough.

It's so fair.

It's a fair first question, but now that you know, ceasefire is not an option.

If you want a ceasefire, go talk to Hamas.

Like, here's the thing.

Go talk to Sinoir.

I wrote, because when I posted something yesterday about ceasefire artists for ceasefire, I roll, somebody asked in a very nice and respectful way, like, obviously, what's wrong with a ceasefire?

It's not like we're not people who love war.

It sounds nice.

If you just have opened your eyes to the conflict, a ceasefire sounds, and you're done calling for ceasefires in the Ukraine and elsewhere where there's been conflict for years, and you've been doing all your ceasefire advocacy there.

And now it's time to ask for a ceasefire in Israel after, what, five months of fighting?

Right.

There is an appropriate answer on Claudia's Instagram.

Yeah.

Did you want to read it?

I did want to read it because I worked really hard on it and I think it was.

It's going to expire too.

So don't worry, I saved it.

So the question was, what's with the frustration around ceasefire?

Is it because it's a pointless statement?

It just seems like something we would all want.

I'm hoping to learn slash gain some perspective.

Yeah.

Thank you for asking a question in a respectful way.

I said, we all want peace.

In an ideal world, there's an immediate ceasefire, but that will never happen.

That will never be the reality because Hamas has vowed publicly to never stop the violence until they wipe Israel off the map.

Most people don't realize there actually was a ceasefire in place on October 7th, but then Hamas terrorists invaded Israel, murdered, raped, and brutalized thousands.

Ceasefires mean something to civilized people, but they mean nothing to barbaric terrorists.

Ceasefires actually give terrorist organizations like Hamas an opportunity to rearm themselves and strategize on how to attack again.

Anytime Hamas has actually agreed to a ceasefire, it's never been as a gesture of good faith.

It's been, they ran out of ammo, they need to re-strategize, they need a new thing, they need to run away, they've been found.

They use it strategically, not ever for ceasefire purposes.

Not for peaceful purposes.

So the artists and celebrities advocating for a ceasefire, which Hamas has stated will never happen, have never spoken out about the October 7th massacre in Israel, nor have they advocated for the release of the hostages who are still being held in Gaza.

And if a ceasefire were to ever hypothetically occur, what then happens to the hostages?

The ceasefire movement

completely disregards their circumstances, which are abhorrent.

Right.

So October 7th happened.

Hundreds of Israelis were kidnapped to Gaza.

The Israeli military went into Gaza to get them back.

We are there to get them back.

If there is a ceasefire, what happens happens to the hostages, over 100 hostages that are still there?

Like, it's very simple.

There's literally like an enormous, enormous terrorist group, like miles from the city center.

Like,

think about it in America.

What would you want them to do?

And by the way, and then that terrorist group literally launched an insane, insane terrorist attack in your country.

The equivalent, like, I think people were saying, it's like bordering like Texas and Mexico.

Like, that's how it is.

And so there's this American-hating terrorist organization in Mexico.

They come in, and the equivalent, population-wise, was I think they come in and they kill 25,000 people in Texas.

What do we do?

We ceasefire?

And there's still a thousand people back in Mexico being kidnapped,

being held hostage, starved, raped.

So, we send the military in to try and get those kidnapped people out and to bring to justice the people who committed the terrorist attack.

And then there are people calling for a ceasefire, ceasefire.

What if it was your mom who was in there?

Ceasefire?

But what about your mom?

Right.

So the Oscars were on last night.

So the Oscars were on last night.

The really large room of fucking morons.

I didn't see what, and you know what?

I'm sorry.

I don't want to call out people who are like Jewish and who have been historically like good, but like where was one person wearing a yellow pin with just the yellow ribbon, which means bring the hostages home, Steven Spielberg?

Like, what are you doing?

What is Steven Sielberg doing ever?

No, but he's like one of the, he's the most powerful person in that room.

Like, Like, for sure.

He can't be, I understand on a small level, people who are new to the industry, who are afraid to make waves and like, you know, go against the grain.

Everybody's wearing a red pin.

To show up in a yellow one is an extremely brave thing to do.

Why the fuck would Steven Spielberg care?

Yeah.

And just like a pro-Israel Jew.

Wearing the red pin, like really, if you are trying to be a good faith actor, like, and you feel compelled to wear the red pin and call for a ceasefire, like also wear a yellow ribbon.

Like that would have been understandable.

I want a ceasefire and I want the release of the hostages.

I mean, because that's the same thing we all want.

Same, yeah, wear both.

But no, don't wear the red one.

Like, like, literally, the imagery.

No, yeah, it's like.

It's a virtue signaling for the murdering of Jews.

Feel free to wear a ceasefire pin, not the red one because it's like red, bloody, dead Jew hands.

Yeah.

A different one.

Maybe like the graphics designer could get on Canva, make something else.

And the yellow ribbon to release the hostages.

Unless you don't want the hostages released because you're a vicious Jew hater.

In that case, just make your make your feelings plain.

But just not one person wearing the yellow pin.

like if pins were being worn you know like not one no and the jews run hollywood

oh please oh please the jews run hollywood watch the 2024 oscars you'll never think that again yeah no but they think they're being like brave and resistant they think they're being brave is what's so crazy who like the people wearing the ceasefire pins yes that's great bra in hollywood i'm really having a hard time right now thinking about who i hate more mark ruffalo or jonathan glazier i really want to say mark rufflo like i you just like hate him because he has like an ugly face

Well he also just like to me he stands for and by the way he has like the craziest history and I didn't even really like look into it until most recently like because he's been wearing the pins and being insane

He has like a very very long history of having to like apologize and clarify for being anti-Semitic.

Like it's actually crazy.

Mark Ruffalo is a full-blown anti-Semite like walking amongst us and he gets cast in Holocaust movies.

No, it's so crazy.

So yeah, I think we give like someone like Billie Eilish for now give her the benefit of it.

I give her grace.

I give her the benefit of grace.

So dumb.

Dumb, dumb, dumb, dee, dumb, dumb, dumb.

But Mark Ruffalo

is old enough to know better.

Mark Ruffalo just likes dead Jews.

Mm-hmm.

A thousand percent.

I fucking hate Mark Ruffalo.

That's why he likes being in Holocaust movies.

He gets off.

He's like, yes.

Oh, Roman, not Mark Ruffalo masturbating in his trailer.

I'm deceased.

Is this episode going to get us canceled?

I don't give a fuck.

Claudia, I don't give a rip.

I don't give a rip.

So Oppenheimer won best picture at the show Fest Oscars 2024.

But wait, can I talk about Oppenheimer for a second?

Yes.

I loved it so much.

It was so brilliantly done.

I knew very little about the, you know, creation of the atomic bomb.

I didn't really know who Oppenheimer was.

But in the very first scene in the movie, I know I'm getting that it's about really smart, you know, physicists in the beginning at all these elite universities.

And so Oppenheimer is obviously this really well-respected guy.

And he goes to talk to another another one of, you know, the scientists.

It's this older gentleman with white hair.

I'm like, wait, is that Albert Einstein?

I'm like, you're telling me Albert Einstein was alive during World War II and not 400 years ago.

I had, Albert Einstein drove in a car.

Like, I was shocked.

I was shocked beyond belief.

Now I need to watch.

Honestly, Oppenheimer made me really want to watch a documentary or like a biopic on Albert Einstein.

Jackie, I was floored.

That's like when you find out Picasso died in the 80s.

Like, come again.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was, me and Ben were like, no.

Is it Picasso that died in the 80s or the other P?

Van Gogh?

Oh.

Van Gogh.

No.

No, it's Picasso because Picasso invented like modern art.

He's like the grandfather of modern art.

And so modern is like modern.

Picasso, 1881.

Oh.

I think it's Van Gogh.

No.

No, I don't think it's Van Gogh either, actually.

Hey, Van Gogh cut his ear off.

Wait, 1853.

Who's the one?

Yeah.

No, we haven't hit the yet.

Modern art

test.

I don't freaking know.

No, it's bothering me, too.

It's a thing.

Feminist one.

It's a thing.

It's like a meme when you realize that this person.

It's something with a P.

Yeah.

I wonder if it's going to feel good when we get it.

I know you're probably screaming.

I know you're probably screaming.

Okay, hold on.

I'm going to find it.

Pablo Picasso.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Born in 1881.

Bitch, I'm not sure.

Died in 1973.

Okay, sorry, sorry.

Okay, so that's like a really long period of time.

And also, while we're there, Van Gogh

died in 1890.

Okay, that's not modern.

Okay, thank you.

That's what I was saying.

So I was shook to see Albert Einstein in the film.

I also didn't really know that so many of the great scientists during that time were Jews.

And that's why so many of them were happy to drop everything and move to this remote part of New Mexico where they built the atomic bomb, because it was meant to be dropped on the Nazis.

Now, by the time they figured it out, and we were the first to figure it out, the Nazis were already defeated and then they decided to use it on Japan, which

there was talk in the movie about whether that was the right decision because they were all ready to drop it on some Nazis.

So I didn't know like the Jewish influence of the science and physics community at that time.

Almost every single one of them was Jewish.

And that's why why Christopher Nolan literally hired every Jewish actor to play.

Like, there was a million random scientists, including Josh Peck.

Now, me and Ben were screaming, like, literally screaming, because spoiler, it's really not a spoiler alert, but they basically they work forever on this atomic bomb and they have to test it in this desert.

And so everybody's gearing up, they're miles away, it's gonna explode, is it gonna work?

It's three years of work.

And the person to actually press the button for the first time ever is Josh Peck.

Wow.

It was really crazy.

So you liked it?

I loved it.

No notes, except, now this is a kind of a crazy thing to say, and you guys are going to be like, Claudia, of course you would say this.

You hate women.

It was perfectly cast, like truly perfectly cast.

Except, like, I actually think Emily Blunt

really did not do a good job.

I was floored she got nominated for not so much.

Did she play?

His wife.

And she had a very, very big role.

I

thought she actually did a really bad job.

Like, I was giving community theater.

Every time she was on screen, I was like, oh yeah, I'm watching a movie.

I was like reminded.

Oh damn, is that just because you're so familiar with her and the other people you don't really know and like you're just aware of her?

No, because I knew I knew a lot of the people.

Florence Pugh,

who was amazing.

She had a very small role and she was naked pretty much the entire time, but she looked great.

She was great.

I'm not super familiar with Killian Murphy.

That's true.

Josh Hartnett, of course, know Robert De Niro.

I think that's Josh Peck also would make you realize you're watching a movie.

Yeah, yeah, because I'm like, that's my friend.

Yeah, that's your friend.

That's good guys.

Just get you a good guy who could do both.

Totally.

Well, that's true.

He was amazing.

You would love it.

And honestly, the three hours flew by.

Okay, I'll watch it.

And it won Best Picture.

So that feels right, is what you're saying?

Oh, definitely feels right.

Christopher Nolan won as well.

I had no idea because every time somebody from Oppenheimer won, they would get up and thank Christopher Nolan and Emma Thomas, who's his producing partner.

And when he won Best Director, he got up and thanked his producing partner who produces all of his films and all of his children.

I didn't realize that was his wife.

It was so cute.

Now I'm like low-key obsessed with Christopher Nolan.

Like, catch me literally not knowing who he was a week ago and like not caring at all.

Like now when we think back about that Peloton story and Jen Sherman, like I'm like, that's so cool.

Like he's such a legend.

And he was basically, he said something so profound.

He was like, when you think about like the art of filmmaking, it's literally in its first 100 years.

We've only been making film for 100 years.

And so the fact that you guys think I'm like a important person in the early stages of filmmaking is so profoundly humbling because, you know, think about the first 100 years of painting.

Like think about it as any art form.

Like he was just so smart.

I'm like, yes, Christopher, keep talking.

Like, I'm obsessed.

And he's hot, too.

Love.

Yeah, he's nice looking.

Dilf, director.

So he won best director also.

Then best actor went to Killian Murphy.

Of course, like he was Jackie.

Incredible.

Then best actress went to Emma Stone in Poor Things.

Oh, you know, she, like Loki, did she make anybody else cry?

Like, she was really making making me like emotional.

I didn't watch.

I don't know if she's like really always wanted an Oscar or something about this film was so personal.

She like could not breathe.

She ripped her dress as she was getting up there.

She like seriously was like on the verge of a panic attack, like short of breath.

It was so genuine.

So many people get up there and it's just like, please, like, shut the fuck up.

She was so genuine.

And,

oh.

Like, I was, me and Ben were both like, like, I was tearing up.

She was so, I just love her.

Cute.

Yeah, she looks great.

best actor in a supporting role robert downey jr

well deserved well deserved i loved his speech also there was like a weird moment i thought jimmy kimmel did like we were i was gonna ask you what do you think about jimmy kimmel he didn't bother me he was like never on thank you that's what a host is supposed to do at the beginning monologue it was fine except there was this weird moment where he um

like kind of referenced Robert Downey Jr.

So Robert Downey Jr.

famously is sober, but he had like a really

very dark time where he was like addicted to drugs.

And the joke Jimmy Kimmel made was, you know, this is the highest moment in Robert Downey Jr.'s career.

Well, not the highest, because he like used to be high on drugs.

And I don't know the relationship between these two.

I don't know really how Robert Downey Jr.

like refers to his

sobriety, but it definitely felt weird.

Like it definitely did not feel appropriate.

Also, given the other jokes he made compared to other people, he never pushed the button.

No, he didn't.

It was very boring, safe jokes, like bad jokes.

Robert Downey Jr.

like did not look like he was enjoying it.

Like he kept doing like roll tape.

I felt like he was trying to say like move on.

Move on.

Yes.

And two, I actually watched a monologue on YouTube because I, you know, didn't know it was starting at 4 p.m.

Eastern time.

So I watched a monologue on YouTube this morning and the commercial was in the middle of that joke.

So like the break.

So

as Jimmy Kimmel said, this is the highest Robert Downing Jr.

has ever been.

And then it and then maybe there was a little more of this cuts to a commercial.

And then by the time you come back, I feel like I've missed the joke.

So I didn't even know what he said.

Oh, that's intentional.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

Best actress in a supporting role, Daveen Joy Randolph, the holdovers.

Hilarious speech.

So sweet.

I didn't see the movie.

Best, I'm going to get to shit we care about.

Best original song, oh, what was I made for?

Billy dumbass Eilish for property.

But that song's good.

Yeah, it is.

By the the way, I'm holding space for two truths.

Yeah, no, the song is good.

It's very good.

It was emblematic of the movie.

And yeah, perfect.

It was good.

And then best, what else was there?

That I missed it.

That's really it.

But then the performances.

I have to say, I'm kind of in love with Becky G.

She's, and that, by the way, that song was not good.

It shouldn't have won.

But like, I'm glad she got to perform.

She

is so gorgeous.

And so little, you know, she's like this, you know, I feel like I relate to her in that level.

She's like 4'11.

I just i just wanted to say i love her and i feel like she was really nervous and she did a great job um

the performance on everybody's lips was um just ken like the whiff i didn't really realize ryan gosling could truly sing like that he did an amazing job he's not a singer but obviously he grew up in

the middle clubhouse yeah but that's not his trade he's not his profession he's an actor no but he did la la land he sang and i am chem like it's not not like it's something he on his resume It's on his resume.

He's not a live performer is what I'm saying.

Okay, yes.

And I thought he did such a great job.

I did think he was a little nervous.

I thought everything was so 10 out of 10 amazing.

Like the choreography, I was cracking up.

And then when he goes into the audience and gave the mic to America, Barbie, everyone, the crew.

And then he had a little moment with Emma Stone.

Then he gets back on stage, Mark Ronson, Simu Liu.

Who was the guy playing guitar?

I feel like he was like a famous guitarist.

Was it Gene Simmons?

I don't know if it was giving that.

I kept trying to Google who it was.

I could not figure it out.

Maybe it was nobody.

Yeah.

I didn't see a name, but I thought the same thing.

He was playing guitar like he was somebody.

It was giving Gene Simmons.

Yeah.

But

It was lash.

Slash.

Slash.

Okay.

I don't know who that is, but we were right.

I just loved it.

Like, and I don't even love that song so much, I'm not going to lie.

I thought it was brilliant, brilliant.

I thought that performance deserved an Oscar.

What was funny is like this whole time, it's like, is Ryan Gosling going to sing?

And he's been saying, like, I don't know if I'll sing it, blah, blah, blah.

But it's like, this was a very big production.

Like, they've actually been working very hard on it.

It's not like he woke up and decided, okay, I guess I'll sing the song.

Totally.

They put everything they had into it.

And I think it was meant to be comparable to that scene from Gentleman Performance with Marilyn Monroe.

Marilyn Monroe.

They put their whole barbussie in that, and I loved it.

I ate up every second.

And you know, I'm like a Barbie low-key hater.

Loved it.

Yeah, I love that song.

I think it's really cute.

No, and I loved it all the time.

Men dancing.

Love

Simulo getting Castin Barbie is the best thing that ever happened to him.

Yeah.

Right after being Castle Barbara.

He didn't have to be in that performance because most of the other Kens weren't from the movie.

They were just back in the movie.

I bet he asked.

I'm not going to miss this.

No, no, no.

I love how much he loved being in that movie.

Like, first I knew him from Selling Sunset.

Now I know him from Barbary.

Yeah.

And then I think his most important work would be number three.

He's a superhero, no?

No, his most important work, it depends who you ask, would be his role as Mallie Shannon's boyfriend in the other two.

No, but he is.

Yeah, no, he's like in Marvel.

Marvel, yeah.

Yeah, he has

or DC.

Don't ask me.

Yeah.

Anyways, that is Oscar's part one.

Our next story is a bit of Oscar's adjacent news.

Okay.

Because Vanessa Hudgens flaunted her baby bump in a sheer gown at the 2024 Oscars, announcing her pregnancy, and also then did a change and another glowing pregnancy look at the 2024 Vanity Fair Oscar party.

Okay.

I want to talk about the Vanity Fair Oscar Party second, so remind me of that.

That's our like next story is like some news from Vanity Fair.

Okay.

So

I watched actually for the first time I think ever ABC.

Like I always watch E, but I'm sorry, it's insufferable.

Like, you know what they do, E?

First of all, it was only Laverne doing interviews.

What's a story you're wearing with this outfit?

Like, really, it's unwatchable.

But they get you in because then they have like Justin and Kelty and Heather.

We're like, oh, oh, oh, they shove them in a corner.

Like, they weren't interviewing anybody.

So I'm like, you know what?

What if I just didn't watch E?

I'm like, a 29-year-old woman.

I have free agency.

So I watched ABC.

Now, for the last 30 minutes of the red carpet, ABC had the exclusive.

But, and that was Vanessa Ann and Julianne Huff.

But until that, they had this random guy who was clearly an entertainment journalist by trade.

I couldn't tell you his name because it doesn't fucking matter.

He asked the most brilliant questions.

I could tell everybody talking to him obviously knows him.

Like he's a red carpet guy.

They were so into his questions.

They were thought-provoking.

They were different.

And I just want to say i don't know his name i don't want to know his name but he gets five stars from me great

then vanessa i thought it was so sweet how everybody talking to her was like so happy and giddy for her every before they answered their first question they were like oh my god congratulations it was so cute she's doing a very good job Yeah, I mean, she showed up like low, like nobody knew she was pregnant.

She's, I don't know how far along she is, but she's decent.

She looks amazing.

She's glowing.

She looks so happy.

And I feel like we didn't even know that's what we needed.

Yep.

But it's what we needed.

It's giving honeymoon baby.

Yeah.

Because she just got married.

Yeah.

Honestly, like getting up there in a dress and heels, talking to other people for X amount of time, pregnant, has to be like harder than any Olympic sport, I have to imagine.

Yeah.

They should have given her a chair, like deadass.

Just saying.

The heels makes it tough.

I bet actually she probably took her heels off after the carpet to like do her job because you can't see the feet and there's no reason.

And Julianne Puff is also a shorty, so it's not so bad.

And they were on separate stages.

Oh, they weren't together?

Not a gross reunion?

No.

Oh, I thought they were hosting together like friends.

No, they weren't physically together.

No, I thought it was like, you know, a duo, a hosting duo.

No, they were interviewing people separately.

Oh, I like my version better.

Well, it was great.

I thought it was actually very well done.

I'm like a big hater on red carpet coverage.

I thought ABC actually killed it.

And I wouldn't have guessed Julianne Huff.

She's fine.

She was fine.

She's got

some chops.

Vanessa Ann has obviously been studying.

Great.

I just love when people clearly saw the movies, you know?

Yeah.

That's like

the baseline.

Baseline knowledge.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, our next story, Vanity Fair's Oscar party

took place after the Oscars, and there's some news.

It was star studded.

It was star-studded.

Everyone was looking good.

Some news at a merger that Kim Kardashian and Odell Beckham Jr., I think like for the first time since months of rumors about them being together, they were spotted leaving the party together.

But they were also spotted in Vegas at the Super Bowl.

But everyone was at the Super Bowl.

Like, I don't know.

Just seeing these pictures now, I'm like, oh, okay.

Yeah, maybe they're hooking up.

I didn't really believe it before.

Oh, I did.

I just don't care.

Yeah.

I don't like care immensely, but that's a cute couple.

I think Kim looked literally so gorgeous.

Maybe the best she's ever looked.

Maybe, no, the best she's looked in years because she's been like kind of like flopping with her Valenciaga looks.

Yeah.

Who was she wearing?

She was.

Oh, she was wearing Valenciaga.

Question.

Stop me fucking up.

I'm sorry.

Two things can be true.

I'm holding space for true truth.

She looked amazing.

I'm sorry.

She really did.

And it's about time.

She did.

Yep.

All the Jenner Kardashian girls look so sick.

Kylie?

Kylie.

Distressed.

Yeah.

Timothy, where was he?

People are saying they've broken up.

Really?

Yeah, I had seen that a few weeks ago.

I guess it has been a minute.

The last we saw them was the Emmys.

I feel like if they broke up, though, she wouldn't have gone last night because that's kind of like Timmy's territory.

I think they're not.

It's actually not.

Vanity Fair Oscar Party is actually Kardashian territory.

Like they literally invented that party.

I disagree.

Okay, I they didn't invent the party, but it's so their territory.

You know, they can feel comfortable in that room, but if you like just got freshly, that's a fresh ex-boyfriend and like it's more his room that year than in Terry.

Yes.

That's it.

That's all I'm saying.

I happen to love the Vanity Fair Oscars party because everybody, I've never seen one person look bad.

It's like for some reason, everybody has agreed we're not going to take crazy risks and look stupid.

We are all going to look glamorous and sick.

We're going to slay the house down boots.

Sabrina Carpenter was there with her rumored boyfriend, who's not really rumored anymore because he was in Singapore for her last era's show, Eris tour show.

They took a picture.

Gary Kyogan, he's like the man of the moment.

Saltburn.

Saltburn, he's wearing a friendship bracelet that says Sabrina.

So these two are very much together.

No, I'm I'm obsessed.

I love Sabrina Carpenter having like moments.

I'm such a big fan of hers.

Yeah.

Lindsay Lohan was there, who's really been on this

renaissance tour.

Like, she's just, she's back.

Yeah, she took a picture with Kim.

Throw back love.

Really cute.

Everybody showed up and looked gorgine.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Nice night.

I enjoyed it.

Nice.

That part.

That half of the night.

Nice after party.

Nice after party.

So that's Oscar's recap 2024.

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Our next story has the internet in even more of a tizzy than they already were.

Kate Middleton is apologizing for a botched family photo.

She posted a photo of her and her children for UK Mother's Day.

Very seemingly cute photo of her and her three children.

But of course, eagle-eyed viewers found a Photoshop fail on Princess Charlotte's arm/slash wrist.

No, they found like 30, and it wasn't a Photoshop fail.

it was what's more than the wrist oh there's a look at her neck okay by her jacket there's like a there's like a line like a pixelated line okay

if you go to Twitter people have probably found it out 30 things wrong with the photo also Charlotte's teeth also Charlotte's hair length if you look at her hair in December there's no way her hair could have grown that much what's wrong with Charlotte's teeth without being

no not like it's just incongruous with what her teeth have looked like in like paparazzi photos recently and what's wrong with Kate's neck there is a line where her jacket meets her neck and her hair.

Do you see?

Pixelated?

I do.

Yeah.

So it's not that people thought this was a Photoshop fail.

People thought this was AI generated.

Oh my God.

And then, wait, so people were being, you know, you can't talk about Kate Middleton can't do anything right now without people freaking out about it because what started as a joke is now like a full-blown conspiracy theory.

Where in the world is Catherine Middleton?

And so People were very quick to point out all of these things and really be like, it kind of feels like this photo was used, you know, like generated by AI.

Then after all this hoop law on the internet, people like going crazy, the Associated Press

recalled the photo.

So the way that it works, like the Associated Press like gets a photo and then distributes it to like every newspaper.

And so when they have a headline, that's why so many newspapers have like the same exact headlines because it just, it came from the wire on AP.

It was from the wire, yeah.

Companies like Associated Press Reuters are like these sort of overseers and then they distribute it to every newspaper.

Yeah.

So they kind of recalled the photo and they said, we have reasons to believe the the photo's been manipulated and we're just like, we're not putting out fake news, essentially.

So that then spurred like, holy shit, we were fucking around, but like, it's true.

Got it.

So then Kate put, oh, then Kate put out the statement saying, quote, like many amateur photographers, I do occasionally experiment with editing.

I wanted to express my apologies for any confusion in the family photograph we shared.

And I wanted to apologize for any confusion the family photograph we shared yesterday caused.

I hope everyone celebrating had a very happy Mother's Day.

And so now.

Okay, I just want to say the photo recall thing, I kind of interpreted it differently as like they realized this photo came like from Kate.

They realized that it wasn't good.

And so they stopped people from sharing it anymore because it's like now Kate decides she doesn't want it to continue being shared.

No, that's not how it works.

Like you can't just decide you want a photo not shared on the internet and AP is going to approve.

No.

Just saying.

They have relationships.

Friendships.

By the way, read AP's statement.

Right, right, right.

No, but I'm just saying that's the lens that I read it through where it was like, oh, fuck, like, we take it back.

No, no.

It's Trill Z.

So when people started theorizing, I was like, oh, classic, whatever.

I'm sure they Photoshop the photo to be as beautiful as they wanted it to be.

And I don't, Photoshop fails don't bother me, like, whatever.

Then the AP thing, and I was like, oh, damn, there's definitely something more.

Maybe the people who are like joking about AI, like, we're onto something.

And now Kate's losery-ass statement, oh, silly little mom, I'm an amateur photographer.

No.

Something's going on.

I don't think it's a physical physical.

If you weren't a conspiracy theorist before.

I don't think it's AI generated because this literally happens every time they put out a family photo that like there's AP has never recalled the photo.

Okay.

I don't care about the AP.

Like they're dishonest journalists.

I don't get my truth from them.

I'm looking at the photo.

I don't think it's AI because the AI has a look to it that this photo does not have.

I think.

Look at the kid on the left's fingers.

Oh, he's crossing his fingers.

Oh, that I thought was funny because I feel like she made him promise something that he then crossed.

You know how kids do that?

Like, you're so sweet.

I'll smile.

First of all, look at her fingers.

I'm seeing her fingers on Charlotte.

Yeah, no, no, sorry.

Charlotte's fingers.

Okay.

Her wrist is like detached from her hands.

Yeah, that to me is like face-to-fail.

I just feel you wait.

Hold on, I'm going to pull up all the discrepancies people have.

My bigger question, so this is what I'm saying.

I don't think it's AI, but I do think the photo was like edited so that everyone looked absolutely their best.

They took like a million photos and then they used the version of everyone that's best and they put it together.

Why can't you just take one decent photo?

Like, maybe someone isn't giving their best smile, but like people take family photos all the time.

Yes, it's hard to get three children to smile at the same time, but like two out of the three are grown children who are obedient.

It's just the one with the crossfait, Lewis, who likes to cause trouble.

Yes, he likes to cause trouble, but there is like weirdness all around this photo.

Like, I will,

it's, there's a lot going on.

Her hair couldn't possibly have grown that long.

Uh, Kate's hands look look fake.

Oh, her right hand, the one on Lewis, is blurry as fuck.

Okay.

You saw the neckline, the wrist, the kid's hand.

There's more that people have pointed out.

There's something wrong with this photo.

And like,

I do think it goes beyond, not to be like such a conspiracy theorist, because at first I was like, haha.

But no, there's something going on.

But here's, if there's something going on, and she, what's the theory that she wasn't well enough to take a photo for Mother's Day?

Where's her wedding ring?

Well, I don't think she would intentionally put out a photo without a wedding ring.

Like, I think it means nothing.

Like, where's my wedding ring?

Okay, but, like, you're not taking an official family photo for your, you know, for yourself.

I just think if they had all these things they wanted to hide, they could have easily used an old picture.

People would have figured that out, too.

No, and yeah, it's an old picture that I like of my family.

Why does it have to be today?

Oh, yeah, yeah, like when they were all babies.

Yeah, like something that represents motherhood.

Yeah.

I don't know what's going on, but honestly, I believe it.

I believe what I'm doing.

Okay, what are people saying?

What is the running theory?

They don't know.

They don't know.

Like, there's no conclusive.

The theory is that you got a BBL.

No, seriously.

Like, what's what?

So what do they think happened?

They're divorcing?

I don't know.

I think she's gone missing.

You think she's gone missing?

So why not just post an old-ass photo?

I don't know.

I need her, like, that Range Rover photo, it was giving, giving, you know, Madame Tousseau.

Also, AI, if they're going to mess with hands, like they're giving you six fingers.

Yes.

They're not doing this.

Pinky Promise.

I crossed on it.

You're such a mom.

Like, he's crossing his fingers.

Because he, like, said something untrue.

He probably said, okay, I'll smile.

Shout out in the comments.

What do you think is going on with Kate Middleton?

Yeah.

I'm waiting till Easter.

After Easter, all bets are judge.

But she has my good faith, my benefit of the doubt, till Easter.

Fair.

So I'll see you guys in April and we'll have a conversation.

And they usually do like a big Easter service.

So will she be spotted at the church?

The world may never know.

No, no, we'll know on Easter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like a big deal for them.

Right.

So just practice patience is all I'll say.

I'm having fun in the meantime.

Okay.

I'm happy for you.

Our fifth and final story is a little ra news because it was a very re heavy weekend i listened to the album this morning she performed on snl this weekend two songs and then did some sketches but she performed we can't be friends and imperfect for you and as i stated on friday we can't be friends is such a bop agreed such an amazing song i can't stop listening to it however i need to say that the way i interpret the song when i first heard it i thought it was about her and spongebob it's like we can't be friends because like i love you too much sort of thing of Of course, because I want to fuck.

And the lyric that's like, take all your papers and pens, wait until you like me again, I thought was about like the media and the public.

Like,

no, this song is about Dalton.

We can't be friends because like, I fucking hate you.

I'll wait until you like me again because you fucking hate me.

And then she put out the music video for the song, which, you know, she makes, does not mince words.

This is about her marriage that ended.

I love that song as well.

I listened to the whole album this morning.

So funny.

I watched an interview.

I forget, I think maybe it was Zane Lowe, where she said her two like greatest musical influences have and always will be Mariah Carrey for her like songwriting and Imogen Heap for her production.

And Ari's like very into producing her own music, yada yada.

And ever since she said that, like, I hear so much Imogen Heap.

Like, the album is so imagined.

Yeah, that's true.

On We Can't Be Friends, though, I think it sounds like a robin dancing on my own a little bit.

Every time the chorus is about to come in, I feel like it's about to start singing, I'm in the

gun.

Just listen to it like that next time.

Maybe someone could do a mashup for me.

I love a mashup.

Internet DJs, get on it.

If I had musical production skills, that would be something I'd be really passionate about because I'm really good at like hearing two songs and realizing which songs are similar.

And if I could make mashups, like I would crush it.

DJ Earworm would be favorite thing to do.

DJ Earworm would be out of a job.

I actually think DJ Earworm is out of a job.

That's not funny.

Like, I hope that he works forever because he can't.

Unemployment is no joke.

No, it's not.

And I love DJ Earworm.

I think he's the best DJ of our time.

Wow.

That's a strong statement.

Yeah, I do.

I don't think anyone can do it like DJ Earworm.

Damn.

Yeah, I said it.

I said it.

Yes.

And

say that shit with your chest.

I'm surprised she didn't perform that on SNL, but I kind of love that.

Like, I'm over that song.

On to the next.

Yeah, no, I thought the sets were really beautiful.

She looked beautiful for Imperfect You.

And she was at the Oscars.

So she's been, you know, bicoastal all weekend.

I have to say, probably one of my least favorite hairstyles debuted on any red carpet ever.

Even though I've been liking this era of hair for her.

Me too.

I love the blonde.

It's super cute.

It was literally like a...

It was swirly, curly, like you need to brush out your curls.

Yeah, like, you know, Anna Paquin from True Blood, when she was like six, she was the youngest person to ever win an Oscar.

Yeah.

I think she wore her hair like that.

Shirley Temple.

Shirley Temple with the curly cue and

curly temple.

It was horrible.

It was horrible.

Yeah.

But was giving out a passion.

Okay, so that's like one note from the weekend.

And of course, you know, I'm sure the climate change activists will be looking into her flight log from how she got to New York to LA so quickly.

She walked.

Don't worry, she walked.

She's fine.

She took her bicycle.

Yeah.

Other than that, a good weekend for Ari.

I feel like

the cycle is like we're moving through it and people are enjoying the music, which is benefiting her personally and her reputationally.

Slowly shedding like the home wrecker vibe.

Yeah.

And she must like really fucking love SpongeBob is all I'll say.

By the way, they have not like, do we have confirmation that they're still together?

The last they were actually spotted was at that Broadway show like kind of a while ago.

No, I think they're still together.

It wasn't that long ago.

By the way, same, but we don't know that.

No,

they better be together is all I'm going to say.

Yeah.

It's just so crazy because like she was on SNI.

I figured out she was in the room with someone and then she's at the Oscars.

She's in the room with all these people and she could date any of them.

I know I was thinking the same thing.

But SpongeBob's a man for her.

Okay.

Those were the fast five stories.

You didn't really need to know them.

You think?

Yeah.

That wasn't a slight towards you in the work.

No, no, I'm asking.

No, no, no.

A slight towards you that you think.

I guess technically you don't need to know them as far as like survival.

Do you need to know anything, you know?

You need to know what's going on in Israel if you're going to speak on it.

That you need to know.

You also need to know that if you get the notovirus and you're about to throw up, don't get off the toilet.

That's something that you need to know.

Yeah.

So that's our show.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toastmiller Morning Show.

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Hope you guys have an amazing day, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love you.

Bye.