Flop Stars: Wednesday February 21st, 2024

Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the toast.

Happy hump day!

It is Wednesday, bitch.

And if that weren't exciting enough, you know, like we're, you know, on our way to the weekend, it's Wednesday, which means we have deer toasters.

And deer toasters is always just like a fixture in society and in culture.

However, in this recent weeks, it's become kind of like, I can't wait.

Like, we're just, you know, hanging on till Wednesday.

And today is no different.

We have an update.

I just want to say something.

I'm here too.

I haven't spoken yet.

You haven't?

No.

Wow.

No wonder I was having so much fun.

Hey guys, we have an update.

I'm excited.

No, it's all I can think about.

As much as I don't want to

not be appreciative of the short week, I did think today was Thursday.

You know, it should be.

Yesterday was an incredibly long day.

Never ended.

I was in my jeans till 8 p.m.

That felt like two days.

100%.

I was shocked that we only had one day of healthfulness under our belt.

Well, that's what's really disappointing.

As we spoke about on yesterday's show, Jackie and I yesterday both began like a journey of healthfulness just because we've been kind of like monstrosities in the last couple of weeks and we did good yesterday but like it was only one day

one day one day

one day at a time

sweet jesus what is that the next lyric one one day at a time no

i don't know It's giving sweet Jesus.

I mean,

you died for your sins.

Yours too.

Not mine, actually.

Who do you think has more sins between us?

Me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So why'd you ask a question?

Like, you obviously knew the answer.

Just like, are we on the same page about that?

I don't know.

I feel like we're relatively, we're sin-light.

Like, we, we're not sinners in a sense.

Our

sin-less.

Wow, this show has really become.

Something else.

Our cross to bear is that we can't stop talking shit.

Well, privately.

I also, I mean, what are, are we talking like if we're Christian?

Like, I take the Lord's name in vain, but I'm not Christian.

Like, I'm always like, Jesus Christ.

But I feel like in the hierarchy of sins, you know, like adultery is worse than shit talk.

And like those cardinal sins, we don't commit them like lust, greed.

So actually

in Judaism, there are really three major sins like you have to die for.

Like you should die before you commit them.

They are adultery, idolatry, murder, and murder.

And I have never really been on the cusp of doing any of those things.

So like I feel good where I'm at, like my lush and hara, which is speak of evil, like I gossip a lot.

Like,

I just feel like when the time comes and I'm at the pearly gates, like I know God's not going to be like, you gossip too much, girl, get out of here.

Like, no.

No, he's chuckling at what we're saying.

No, and he's going to be like, that was funny.

What ended up happening?

No, and it was like, it was true.

Yeah, no.

And I, I don't want to repeat myself because I've said this so many times, but there is a difference between like talking shit and an exchange of

information.

And yes, do I sit around and say like she's ugly?

Sometimes, but most of the time it's like, did you hear that they got divorced?

Like I'm just sharing things.

I would say out of the pie of us talking about things, like

five to ten percent is mean spirit.

I agree.

But the thing is, like we're family and it like that doesn't make us mean people.

And I also think it's important to expel those mean thoughts because they will consume you.

Yeah.

And then you could act meanly.

And we don't act meanly.

No, we are, once again, talking about ourselves in the third person, we are generous.

We are kind.

We are gracious.

We are charitable.

Like we are God-fearing women.

Yeah, we are.

So I feel like if I were to die today, like honestly, like I feel like as though I would be welcomed in to heaven.

And anything that I would be brought to task for, I can answer for.

I can back that shit up.

That's different.

That's different.

Cause if I were to like seriously be held accountable for all my sins in front of God and his peeps, I would not be able to like justify every single bad thing I've ever done.

But then there are a few things that if he brought it up, I'd be like, I feel worse than you do about that.

Like,

trust me, it's killing me more than it's hurting you.

Oh, my God.

I love that.

That's so true.

And it's giving like victim energy.

Should we have Maddie Pruitt on this podcast?

Like, this is what this conversation is giving.

It is giving God-fearing women.

We are, by the way, when you think of God-fearing women, you think like church and Christianity.

But like, you can be God-fearing of like other gods.

Like, we are God-fearing.

Yeah.

And I was watching Love is Blind last night and that couple that both

are devoted to God.

I thought it was just so beautiful.

It was so cute.

And I liked hearing about it.

So I don't mind having this conversation because as a consumer, I enjoyed hearing about just like their thoughts on God.

And I would love if somebody

if somebody in the comments could let me know who Brittany looks like.

It's pissing me off.

Like I can't figure it out.

She looks like someone.

Yeah, she does.

I think she probably looks like a lot of people.

Who is it?

I don't know.

It didn't come to me.

Sound off in the comments.

Is that a big theme from the discussion about this season?

Like, who do people look like?

No, not at all.

Oh, because of the the mega jox thing?

Yeah, but also, I feel like it makes you think, like, if you were in a pot and someone asked you, like, who's your celebrity doppelganger to get, like, a sense of what you would like.

So the new episodes are out today.

Oh, yeah.

They came out at three in the morning.

Why does Netflix do it at midnight Pacific time?

Like, it's annoying.

Probably so they have time to like work out the kinks if it doesn't upload properly.

Because Netflix is based in California.

Like, they just do it on their own schedule.

Rude.

Rude.

I'm in the middle of episode four.

Things are getting good.

And I hope to be finished by the time that you guys watch tonight.

Yeah, because I'm gonna take some time for myself today.

I've been up for a while.

So Jackie did see the Megan Fox moment.

I saw the Megan Fox moment.

What were your thoughts on that?

She's getting dragged for saying it because she

like doesn't look like Megan Fox.

I don't mind that she said that she looks like Megan Fox.

And by the way, she didn't say that.

She said, I don't see it, but I get told all the time.

Okay, but she was putting out there, hey,

if you pick me, you're going with Megan Fox.

Right.

And

I don't mind that she like sees herself as Megan Fox, even if she wants to be like, no, it's not me.

It's everyone else.

Fine.

Like, yeah, I'm Giselle.

And that's the sort of confidence that you should have.

That's what I said on the shows yesterday.

But the timing that she said it, she was kind of losing him.

She was being manipulated.

And it's a manipulative thing to say to be like, hey, maybe you're not sure about me, but I look like Megan Fox.

Because obviously that's the thing that's like in the background of everyone's head.

It's like, I feel this way about this person and I also like this person.

Which one do I think is I'm going to be more attracted to?

So when you hear it's Megan Fox.

It helps put a tick in your column.

1000%.

It was at a point in the conversation where they like were almost veering into talking about Jess.

And he was like, I want to change the subject.

And he got weird.

So she was like, okay, let me keep it fun.

But it was strategic.

It was strategic.

And she, even though in that moment, it was a win for her because she reeled him back in.

It will be an L for her if they choose each other, which I don't know yet.

And she's not Megan Fox.

And even if you're celebrity

doppelganger, like if she, even if she looked like Megan Fox, you're setting yourself up for disappointment because unless you are Megan Fox, like then you're going to be like, oh, you're Megan Fox, but you're not, you got big ears.

Like, you know, no, I'm not saying she does.

I'm just, she actually, I haven't seen her ears.

I'm just saying.

I, if you watch my comedy special.

Comparison is the thief of a joy.

If you watch my comedy special, Lean In on Prime Video, which you can now watch in the United States and Canada on Prime Video, you would know like there, nothing good ever comes out of celebrity doppelganger conversations.

And this is just yet another example of that.

Although I did want to say what I said on the podcast yesterday is like, I feel very, like I'm being very cautious about what I'm saying because this whole saga, this, the Megan Fox thing has become the only thing that people are talking about and it continues to be like a thread throughout the show and I feel as though because of that and because it's like this hot button moment that everybody's talking about it has ended in a referendum on her looks and I feel like no person especially like a girl like is equipped to go through that and I actually feel really bad for her and she's been putting out like social media content like laughing with everyone and like poking fun and I actually think that's like a really good strategy but it's gotta it's gotta hurt yeah no that's that's not right but I do think in general, I know you're against celebrity dockbook gangers, but like if I was talking to someone, I wanted to get a sense of what they looked like and they gave me like a, a, a person and said, like, I don't look like this person, but we have like similar, we're of similar elk.

Yeah.

That would be helpful to know what I'm going with.

And what's so funny is that Jackie and I both separately said that we thought Chelsea actually looked like Adele.

Yeah.

Is that what other people are saying?

No, no, no.

I haven't seen anyone say that, but I thought it.

And then you said it.

I'm like, yes, I thought that as well.

So that would have been like a...

A better.

Yeah.

Or she could be like, I look like a combo.

And then it's more mysterious.

Oh, what do you look like?

yeah

so i cannot wait for the new episodes i forgot that that was the today that was today so i guess i know what i'm doing yeah i guess the 5k training is just going to be put on the background oh we could do a little 5k today because the boys will want to watch too yeah we have to wait for them even though ben is low-key in new york today and he's coming back tonight adios so we'll have to wait for him but see ya bwange see ya we've got a great show we've got stories that are solid as a rock Solid as a rock.

We've got deer toasters, our weekly advice segment, where today we have an update on the girl who last week let us know.

She had written in a few weeks ago saying that she had an inkling that her husband, like, she wanted to know if she was being crazy because her husband and his family owned a bunch of rental properties.

And there was this one like young hot woman living in one of the rental properties.

She was like being like annoying and taking advantage of her husband, being like, oh, the leaf, the roof is leaking.

My toilet's running.

And she was like, am I being crazy?

I just have a weird feeling.

Turns out she was not being crazy.

It wasn't just a weird feeling.

She came home and found a condom wrapper in her husband's pants after he had been at her house.

So we hear from her today.

I need to hear from her.

She's been on my mind and my heart.

And I know she's been on everyone else's.

And she needs us.

She still needs us.

Like, there hasn't been a conclusion, but progress has been made in the saga.

Okay.

I'm very excited to hear.

Me too.

Anything else we want to?

It's hard.

We actually don't have a lot to chit-chat about because yesterday we did so much chit-chatting on

chit-chatting.

Like earlier, was it this week or the end of last week?

Jackie and I spoke about like, what would it be like if we did two podcasts a day, like a morning toast and an afternoon toast?

And yesterday we kind of put that theory to the test and we did an afternoon episode on our Patreon.

So it was four, four o'clock and we kind of updated everyone on our day, followed up thoughts we had in the morning and, you know, brought them back up on the afternoon.

So it was like an hour-long podcast video and audio that we put on Patreon if you want to see what it would be like to have two episodes a day.

Right.

Because

if you want more than one episode a day, go to patreon.com slash the toast.

That's what we realized in this whole exercise.

It's like, oh, we already do that.

It's called Patreon.

You pretty much nets out to like a bonus episode a week

and you can go listen right now.

So that's really exciting.

And I also want to say one more thing,

because if you've been on our merch site, you will see that there's a countdown.

You will.

A week from today, we are launching New Merch.

That is the collection I am most week from today or week from yesterday.

Week from today.

Because it was like seven days and hours.

A collection that is so exciting that we've been working on since the fall.

Yeah.

And we've been like waiting for the right time to drop it.

The time is now.

It's in a week from today.

So just gird your loins.

We'll start to tease it soon so you'll be able to see.

But honestly, like we don't want like people to copy it.

No, the thing is, it's like the coolest thing we'll ever drop and yesterday we were like oh should we wear it on the patreon maybe give people like a little sneak peek and jackie she was right she was like this like if we start teasing it before we're actually able to sell it like somebody's gonna steal the idea we're kind of paranoid we are but

even though we talked about on the patreon how we are letting go of the chip on our shoulders we're saying goodbye to it we're saying goodbye to it

but that's really exciting so set your calendars get excited mentally prepare next week, new mer dropping.

So just like get that in your head, in your thick skulls, okay?

That's not, that's not a way to sell.

No, it's not a way to sell bullying.

That's one of the things I'll have to answer for.

Totally.

When my time comes.

I think without further ado,

it's time.

I'm actually excited about the stories.

Same.

It's time for the fast five stories that you need to know, that Claudia is actually excited about.

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It's been an absolute pleasure.

Our first story.

Kelly Rowland walked off the Today Show as a guest host because her dressing rooms weren't up to par, leaving Hoda Cotby scrambling.

So this story has been developing ever since Kelly Rowland dramatically walked out of NBC's Today Show on Thursday morning after the star thought her dressing room was not up to snuff.

Its source is exclusively Tell Page 6.

The singer and actress was a guest on the 8 a.m.

hour of today and then was expected to fill in in for Jenna Bush Hager in the fourth hour as a guest host of today with Hoda and Jenna.

However, she dropped out at the 11th hour because her dressing room wasn't up to par and she left Hoda scurrying to find a replacement sources, told page six.

Kelly and her team were not happy.

They did not like the dressing room, so they decided to pull her off the show, leaving Hoda without a guest host for the 10 a.m.

hour.

She was on the show to promote her new Tyler Perry-produced Netflix movie, Maya Culpa, in which she stars and is also a producer.

Her abrupt exit left everyone perplexed because she's beloved at Today.

She was getting the full hour.

Her biggest hype woman on the planet.

It made no sense.

And then a follow-up story was she continued to do press for this and she went on Sherry Shepard's show and Sherry Shepard gave Kelly Rowland her own dressing room.

Sherry Shepard gave Kelly Rowland Sherry's dressing room, like the host of the show.

She gave it to her.

For the

like because she's like a dressing room diva.

Now there are photos of the dressing rooms at the Today Show.

And I have to say, not to like make everything about me, I have been on the Today Show.

Now, I wasn't a guest host and I wasn't there for hours.

They literally tell you to come five minutes before.

They don't have a lot of space.

And there's like, do you know how many people go on the Today Show every day?

Like local community groups.

Like there's a million people.

They put you in a room closet for 10 minutes.

You go, you leave.

That's it.

Yeah.

So here are photos from 2021 that showed dressing rooms that are just like in disarray.

They're very small.

There's shit everywhere.

And maybe that's what she walked into.

Let's assume.

Yeah, like Hoda's room is covered in shit and tiny.

So it's clear that this is what the Today Show has, not that they have amazing dressing rooms and they decided to give Kelly Rowan the worst one, right?

Yeah, they were trying to like play musical chairs with the dressing rooms, find another dressing room.

Apparently there's a green room, but J-Lo was already in there.

Oh, so.

Yeah, the thing is, is like

this is just really like bad.

It's a bad look for Kelly Rowan.

It's bad behavior.

Especially because so many major celebrities go on the Today Show.

I'm sure a lot of them have walked into that room.

I can imagine a celebrity walking into that room and being like, no, no, especially if you have a lot of people

like highly of yourself.

Like, oh my God, you just reminded me.

Did you have a story you could swap out?

Yeah, I did.

Are we talking about Jayla?

Yeah.

Okay.

I swapped already.

Oh, okay.

I already did.

Okay.

His story reminded me too.

Oh, yeah, yeah, okay.

Sorry, back to Kelly Rowland.

Now, there are very, very few people on planet Earth who could get away with behavior like this.

Now, unfortunately, Kelly Roland is not one of those people, but, you know, who is her good friend, Beyonce.

But, you know, Beyonce, like people who can act like this wouldn't.

Beyonce would never.

Like, I feel like Beyonce would be like talking shit with her her friends, but be like professional, true, you know, woman.

It's true.

People who can act like this wouldn't.

And that's why they can.

And that's why they wouldn't.

And I don't know why I was like kind of shocked.

I don't know Kelly Roland on a personal level, but what I've gleaned from her just as a consumer of her work for many years is that she's like a cool down to earth girl.

And, you know, getting to go on the Today Show is obviously a huge get, but also getting that guest co-host spot is huge.

And it was a missed opportunity for her to like do the hour where she could have obviously just, you know, shown her, her personality to millions of people but also now i just have like an icky taste it's like this is really in poor taste yeah it is however

valiant hero rita aura stepped in at the 11th hour and co-hosted with hoda oh oh and you know what And I feel like that's loss is Rita Aura's gain.

I feel like Rita Aura wouldn't have gotten this gig if she wasn't just in the building at the exact same time that they're right.

I feel like that part of the story is kind of skidded over and I didn't watch the hour, but it's not an easy job to do, especially at the last minute.

Good for her.

Yeah, I feel like that's a job we would be good at.

And I am based in New York if they ever need anyone.

Beyond good at.

It's kind of like what we do here.

Yeah.

Except we just couldn't curse on the Today Show, which I can do because I can curse on Amazon Live.

And you're okay with that?

Yeah, I actually don't think I've ever flubbed.

Margo has once.

Even when I'm trying not to curse,

I can't stop myself because I'm just not aware.

So fucking hard.

I know.

You know?

I do know.

I'm going to, you guys, I want to like see how many times I curse in this episode.

I want to try not to, even though I will completely forget about that after I say this.

I'll like take a mental note.

Okay, yeah.

Call me, like, call me out in a nice way.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just, should we have a swear jar?

Swear jar.

But we should put like food in it because, like, who carries their own coins?

Yeah, or we should put

like gift cards.

You just have gift cards on your hand?

Who swore the least to go shopping?

I think, like, a modern swear jar is like a Venmo jar.

Oh.

Not as fun.

No, not as fun.

I like a jar, like a physical.

And maybe the beautification committee can make a nice one.

That would be our new centerpiece.

Got it.

But what would we be sitting here with at all times that we could put in?

Nothing.

Like pieces of duty.

Saliva.

Pieces of duty jar.

P-O-D-G.

So back to this Kelly Roland thing, like really weird behavior.

Beyonce whenever.

Yeah, not a good look.

Not a good look.

And then like Sherry Shepard, like kind of giving her her dressing room, like, dignifying the behavior.

Yeah, that I don't understand at all.

Also, Kelly Rowland's rep spoke out about the saga.

She said, after 28 years of knowing her, Kelly Rowland remains one of the kindest, most amiable humans I've ever met and have had the blessing to represent.

So, I'm going to give Kelly Roland the benefit of the doubt here.

Remember, the today's show is extremely early.

Like, if she was on the eight o'clock hour, this girl's been up since like four or five o'clock.

Maybe she was just like in a foul mood.

And I actually can relate to that.

So, I can relate to like

if this story was just like Kelly Roland like was a diva behind the scenes of the today's show because she didn't like her dressing room, like I could understand that having happened.

To leave and leave Hoda in the lurch when she's doing you a solid,

that's not right.

Especially when Hoda is one of those celebrities who I feel is like friends with everyone is good to everyone, like a generous queen.

I feel like she's not the type of person you want to piss off either.

Right.

It's like she's super sweet, but don't get on her bad side.

Yeah.

And she's also like an extremely powerful woman in media.

But the whole organization of the Today Show.

She'll never be invited back.

And that's bad if you're trying to like have a career in entertainment.

Like it's just a necessary part of like the press junket cycle.

Yeah, plus it's also NBC and there's more NBC Universal NBC Ting.

It's Bravo.

It's USA Network.

They own everything.

It's the Olympics.

Like it's everything.

So Kelly Rowland's not going to the Olympics.

You will not see Kelly Rowland in Paris of summer 2024.

This summer.

This summer?

Oh my God, wait.

I have to start getting excited.

That's why I'm wearing red, white, and blue today.

And you're sporty.

Yeah.

Do you want to talk about the the fact that I feel like people are going to be like, oh my God, I love the Rangers?

Well, I would love to go to a Rangers game if anybody would like to take me.

You have a sweatshirt?

I do have a sweatshirt.

Actually, I went into Jackie's closet and I just kind of stood there for like 25 minutes, like trying on and touching every sweater.

And I somehow ended up with this Rangers one.

The thing is, I'm trying on different colors while I'm here.

Like, I don't want to wear white, black, or gray on my top, on the toast anymore.

So I've been trying, I don't know if you guys have noticed, I've been wearing like colors every single day and just seeing like which one makes my face look best.

Okay.

And I haven't worn like a cobalt blue yet.

Yeah.

And that's what I was doing today.

That was the thought process behind this Luke.

I like that.

Yeah, like you're wearing pink.

Like, let's see how your face looks.

I'm always wearing pink.

Yeah.

It's like, I don't even know if pink is the right color for me.

Don't sound off in the comments.

Cause like I like to wear it.

I kind of love that.

Don't sound off in the comments.

Yeah, like I'm not looking for opinions.

I will continue wearing pink.

But I do think that if it didn't look good on me, like I wouldn't be wearing it.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I don't think it looks bad on me.

Don't sound off in the comments.

No, no, no, no, no.

This wasn't this.

Don't make it twisted.

This isn't like, you know,

been group discussion so often we make everything a group discussion desperate for people to sound off in the comments but i don't need everyone to be like no jackie pink isn't your color like and then i'm gonna keep wearing pink and then i'm gonna be feeling weird like is it not my color i don't want to know yeah and by the way like i like how i look in the mirror so you look guess what it's my color you look great

survey says survey says you are the color

are you ready for our next story Not unless it's about J-Lo.

It's not.

It's not because I have like it's thematic.

Okay.

And this is kind of like the second biggest story of the day.

Oh, what is it?

Tom Sandoval was profiled in the New York Times, which is just like news in itself.

I have not read the profile.

Nobody has.

They just read that one blurb that's going viral.

However, there's one blurb that's going viral wherein Tom Sandoval compared himself to O.J.

Simpson's murder trial and George Floyd.

So in the article, he asked, he was asked why he thought his affair with Raquel had gotten so big in the media.

And he said, I'm not a pop culture historian, really, but I witnessed,

but that's not even the craziest part, but I witnessed the O.J.

Simpson thing and George Floyd and all these big things, which is really weird to compare this to that, I think.

But do you think in a weird way, it's a little bit the same?

This is like a manic person who's like.

deeply mentally ill and narcissistic.

Like the fact that the New York Times profiled him, I think says a lot about the state of journalism, like the New York Times, this is all the news that's fit to print.

and also like maybe there was a time where a profile on top edibal would have been interesting like that time has passed so like get with the program new york times

so hearing like this like they didn't edit his words like kind of you know what i mean this is how this person's speaking like this is a crazy person this is a crazy person and then the follow-up quote from the editor was like he clearly you know has lost perspective yes if he thinks that this is as big as those things and he put out a statement and this is what he said mike oh i didn't see that my intentions behind the comments i made in new york times magazine were to explain the level of national media attention my affairs received the comparison was inappropriate and ignorant i'm incredibly sorry and embarrassed honestly like facts on that statement like i i can understand as how scandalized what he thought he was saying because here's the thing scandal was huge top five news stories of the year news too yeah yeah i know what he was trying to say it was bigger than it should have been it was the biggest thing that was happening it permeated all levels of media like it's scandal's on cnn it's on in the new york times like it was very very massive yeah like and other things that were very very massive were but it was just like i would have chosen different things honestly like the oj one wasn't the most far off yeah

The George Floyd one, like not the best, but I'm trying to think like what I would have compared it to.

Honestly, like, well, no, because that's also like murdery, like the murder trials.

Like, that's how much everyone was talking about it.

Like, I'm trying to think of a Megsit.

Yeah, I think if he had stuck to oj

it wouldn't have like raised the alarm agreed when and it's kind of like he's comparing himself to george floyd like it's a crazy thing to do it's psychotic but also like if you've been keeping up with this saga specifically like the mental health of one ton sandoval like this isn't shocking like he literally thinks of himself like you see even in the episodes like how he walks around his house like he thinks like he's seriously like this

like Jesus on the cross, like for real.

Yeah.

And the thing is, though, like for a moment he was and so he yes he has these delusions of grandeur but the thing was so grand yeah but like he wasn't grand no no no the thing that he was a part of was so grand not in a good way in a big way yeah and he already thinks so bigly of himself he does but like for one moment he was that big but he doesn't realize like it was all negative and and it wasn't even like as big as he thinks it was but it was extremely big it was extremely big

so it was enormous he was trying to explain the sketch the size and scale of it but also so important to note like this isn't like a deeply smart person no no or like well educated or um

doesn't have the their finger on the pulse of the tone of of the culture like this is just a person who definitely lives in their own world and who thinks of themselves very highly yeah and I'm not a standoval apologist, but I can understand how he arrived at saying something so fucking crazy.

And I just want to say like, I appreciate him saying something so fucking crazy because it's funny as hell.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I can understand how he, how he thought that, how he got to that too, but a normal person would have used like deductive reasoning to be like, maybe I should switch out these two examples.

Cause the point he was trying to make isn't lost on me, but it's lost on everyone now because we're just focusing.

I'm like, did you just call yourself George Floyd?

Like, it's crazy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I honestly, I think that his statement, even though people will like not care what he said and don't, if they were offended by what he said, like, they won't forgive him.

I think his statement like perfectly sums up.

Whoever wrote this, obviously it wasn't him.

Like it wasn't.

We get it.

The thing is, I have so many issues with Sandoval.

Like, this doesn't even register.

Yeah.

I also have issues with, like, I think he has a crisis PR team that's trying to do something.

Do a 180 on his persona.

For me, though, it's not like even if we can undo the effects of Scandival, like, I'll get back to a good place with Tom because I didn't like him.

Yeah, we were kind of ahead of our time in that sense, that we always knew there was something nefarious about him.

But I guess these puff pieces are meant for the people who were attending his shows before Scandival.

Like those people.

The fans, like he had fans.

He had fans.

Yeah.

And I think those people are also the people who are going the hardest against him because they're just so invested in this world.

Yeah.

And they were fans of him because they were fans of him and Ariana.

Yeah, nobody's like fans of him and like his extra most.

I actually like I

have to believe that there are people who are fans of the extra most.

Like I just, there's not.

There were people who were on their own.

Like Tom was their favorite one on the show.

No way.

Sound up in the comments.

The extra most

people.

If you are one of those people, like I I need to interview you.

But yeah, those people don't listen to this show.

So they can't sound off in the comments.

Thank God.

So they can't sound off in the comments.

Oh, that makes me feel better.

But these puff pieces are, I think, to win back those people, not us.

Got it.

It's just crazy that like.

But those people will not like this comparison.

Also, Raquel was like starting some drama on Instagram yesterday.

I'm just kind of compiling all the times.

Sheena, because Sheena did like an after show.

You know, Bravo has those like weird after-shows.

Yeah.

Just being being like the clowning on somebody for nonstop talking about Sandoval.

And then

Raquel put together like a reel of every time Sheena in the last couple of months has said Sandoval on her podcast.

Like it's a million times.

Like Sheena's podcast blew up

because of Scandivall.

Like a lot of those girls podcasted, the Bravo Vanderpump girls.

So there's like signs of life from Raquel as well.

Well, she has a podcast.

She's got to get in the mix.

I'm ready for her to return to the show.

Yeah.

Me too.

I also need to catch up on the show the episode was last night i've seen um what the general theme was and it's was talk about apparently tom scandoval tom skin tom sandoval was suicidal during the saga and what that meant for like lisa and stuff

and i think a lot of people are just like not believing him oh which is kind of crazy that is kind of crazy that like people are saying that no one with like a platform is saying that though right no like the fans the fans because they could say whatever they want yeah there's no accountability there's no right right right but like i'm i think that's like a cancelable offense.

Yeah.

Like, I'm just going to kill myself.

No, you weren't.

Right.

But, but do the rules apply to Tom Sandoval?

I think that's where, as a society, we're struggling.

And I think for a while they didn't.

And that's why people were saying like the downright nastiest things to and about Raquel.

Do the rules of civility apply to someone who you

perceive to be as like a villain?

That's a good question.

I think they do.

I think they do too.

And I think that people took it too far with Raquel.

Right, right.

Especially if that person appears to be like empathetic and sorry for what they've done.

Right, but also that person

was a lesser villain, sure.

So it's easier to like have a softer spot for her.

And she's also a girl.

So like.

Even if,

yeah.

No, I'm thinking about where I stand.

I need to watch the episode.

Michael, we need to catch up.

Like we've been so love is blindie.

We've been so.

And we're just like enjoying each other.

It's true.

are you ready for our next story is it the next story about j-lo it will be the next story about j-lo because the next two stories are related in shameful music news okay i need to talk about we need to talk about j-lo and we're going to get to this story in one second but just like a little backstory that i feel nobody's talking about which is a great preface for the story j-lo recently released a film and an album they were

like a joint project and she's been doing press about this film basically saying she had to fund it herself.

And it's giving like sob story about like women in media.

I don't know.

But essentially, she like pitched all these networks, the idea for her, her movie, which is like a story of how her album came to life, and nobody took it.

And she's doing press saying the story, nobody took it.

So she decided to bet on herself.

She produced the film and financed it herself, $20 million

on this film.

And now it's like flopping.

And it's on Amazon.

So it's on Amazon.

I am curious how much, if any, she made back.

Like how much did Amazon pay to license it?

Yeah.

Well, here's my question.

Why didn't anyone pick it up?

Obviously, like we know that nobody really was interested, but like J-Lo's the sort of name that the industry just like keeps propping up.

There's a million.

This isn't it.

Jay, I actually, I really like J-Lo, but some people, you'll never really know if they're are or aren't successful because they just like keep shining and they keep getting opportunities.

And it's like the same people regurgitated through the system.

And she's one of those people.

So like, why would they say no to her?

Well, these are tough economic times I don't know I don't know why like a network when you think about all the crap Netflix Amazon HBO like this is crap too.

Yeah, yeah, so like why is this crap different from all other crap and it's like we take everyone's documentary and every major celebrity and who's the bigger name and like JLo's as big as they get and also she's had a really big year and people are really interested about her and Ben like this isn't the worst idea I've ever heard.

Well, the film is bizarre.

Okay.

It's like animatronic.

Like I literally, I can't even explain it.

It's not like a movie.

Like I can't explain it.

I see a still from it it looks like guardians of the galaxy yeah and then it looks like ai yeah um but wait back oh so i i do wonder if perhaps her netflix stock halftime like if it if it was crazy successful you would use that data to pitch your next maybe it was a flop i didn't watch it true like i don't know i don't know why nobody bought it but It's crazy to me because I feel like there is no interest in a movie or an album from J-Lo.

And we're going to get to the story that proves that.

So I find it shocking that all these streaming services who spend money like it's nothing,

the book stops here.

Yeah, like, how do they know?

Or why did they care now?

Yeah.

But they're always putting up crap.

They're always putting up crap, but they have the numbers to sort of back it up.

And they don't really have to be accountable because it's like one show pays for everything else.

And they can, you know, spend money.

And Loman Blind literally is paying for all of Netflix's original content.

That and like Bridgerton.

Right.

But they can like spend money on things that like

nobody cares about, that industry things care about.

And they just keep like circle jerking each other with it because they have the big thing.

So yeah, it's weird to me that the buck ended here with her.

So all of that was in anticipation of this new album that she did all this crazy press for.

She spent $20 million and it's called This Is Me now.

And it's giving Demi Lovato like.

Oh my god.

It's giving Demi Lovato.

This is the real me today.

And then in six months, you'll be like, no, no, no, never mind.

This is the real me now.

Ignore her.

Yeah, I hate when people do that.

I don't know her.

Yeah.

So JLo's This Is Me Now is suffering a career low, fan say, and the release can't be saved despite long list of A-list cameos.

So J-Lo has attempted a comeback that fans don't think her career will be able to come back from.

She released her ninth studio album, This Is Me Now, paired with a star-studded Amazon Prime special.

Her LP has 16 tracks, a lot of features.

However...

This could not save it from its shockingly low reception upon its debut.

On Spotify, many of the tracks have not surpassed 40,000 streams and lacks any chart-topping singles aside from can't get enough which has 4 million streams after that the drop-off is huge with no other song on the album crossing 1 million streams 40 000 like

first of all and numbers i feel are always inflated so yeah because someone like spotify could serve it to you in a playlist and it plays but then you turn it off to the next song but i think that counts and there are like you know stands who will like put all their their um phone devices on repeat devices to repeat so i feel as though like spotify numbers are always really like hyped up and inflamed.

So for her to have songs that not reach 40,000, like that's insanely low.

Yeah.

Like that's like not to make everything about me, but like I did release a song and like

it did hit a million streams.

Like and I'm truly nobody.

Like that's how long did it take to hit a million?

A month.

Yeah, knowing she's J Lo, halftime shot.

She's J-Lo.

And I feel like she keeps she's so, I think, and I hate to use the word desperate because I don't think she's a desperate person, but she is desperate to stay relevant.

I feel like she's always entering these new eras.

Yeah, she's not like going to go to Vegas and retire and live off.

But the thing is, she is a pop star in retirement who refuses to retire.

And I don't mean retire, go live in a retirement home.

I mean like playing the greatest hits, do a Vegas residency.

You maybe you'll collaborate with another artist.

You do a bunch of YouTube videos.

Like she refuses to enter that era of her music career.

And I think it's to her detriment.

Like no one, and for not just now for a really long time nobody has been interested in new J Law music like the catalog is the catalog and it's excellent it's a plus stop I agree I also feel like she's had so much success as an actress recently and if I were her I would do more of that yeah like the kind of the music career is done like and it it's doesn't it's not over it's done in a sense of like newness yeah

And if she were to kind of go about it like Lady Gaga, like do a big project every year, like that's a great way to stay relevant.

You do the award shows like when she did hustlers yeah and i feel like that was a real peak for her hustlers yeah in terms of her relevance no and also like uh you know

industry accolades because she has done a lot of things where she doesn't really get super shiny i feel like she has kind of a chip on her shoulder too like really i actually disagree i think she could use a chip

I don't know.

I feel like with all that Oscar buzz, like she was shedding her chip because she really couldn't get like serious

people to think

she didn't deserve an oscar nom i'm sorry no but it was a good movie and she did a good job it's an amazing movie i enjoyed it immensely yeah

and she deserved an oscar nom for selena right but did she get one i don't know that hustlers movie was like her first foray back into like serious acting like if she had stuck with it like what i love i love the lady gaga

strategy like one big project and you make it your personality for a year a star is born house of gucci now it's the joke in phoenix movie like

you get to go to all the award shows.

You still stay super relevant, but you're not like up people's ass and being annoying.

And you're doing something new.

And if you're doing it well, which she does do it well, she was very good in hustler.

She didn't deserve an ostracom, but she was good.

And she's a talented actress.

We know this.

And they're also just like social media.

But I wouldn't even compare them because I want new albums.

I'm not comparing Lady Gaga.

I'm not, sorry, I'm not comparing the two.

I don't think Lady Gaga should stop putting out news of art.

No, I'm sorry.

She has more to give us.

No, I agree.

I was just talking about like how Lady Gaga does this thing with acting.

Okay.

And I think she does it really well.

And she gets taken very seriously.

And she didn't have a lot of acting experience.

Yeah.

Also,

when it comes to her music career, there's also like a lot of questions about it.

We were talking about, of course.

And, you know,

people did let me know.

Ashanti has actually been very vocal about, and Christina Million, two, two women who have been very vocal about like their voices being on J-Lo tracks.

Like there is there.

So

why not pivot, you know?

Yeah.

Let's see, but stop reminding people.

It's time to look at the data

and the data

the data says this no streaming services wanted her documentary or whatever it is movie and

her streams were abysmal yeah so what do we do like what what would your

recommendation be like if you were jlo's publicist

i would i would take a breath i would look at the things that jlo has been like most loved for i would focus on those things yeah maybe another acting project maybe even a vegas residency let's play the hits hits.

Let's remind them we sing.

Let's remind them we dance.

And let's remind them they've never seen a show like this before.

And let's kind of, you know, I think she did one.

No, but she did like a short, like also a real one.

Oh, you mean like a Celine Dion one?

Yeah.

Brittany.

Yeah.

And

then we will forget about like this chapter.

This is a blip on the radar.

Yeah, yeah.

Let's do like more Met Gala with Ben.

That's like what retired pop stars do.

Yeah.

And retired is like has a negative connotation and they have it that way.

J-Lo, skin, beauty, Beauty glow.

Also flop, like big flop.

That's a shame because she's someone that I would take beauty advice from.

I don't think anyone looks more amazing than she does.

I think a lot of people felt like it was just like an obvious cash grab, not like she was sitting down with the dermatologist, like coming up with formulas.

Like,

it just felt like a little...

I agree because she's the type of person who looks amazing.

Like I would buy.

workout anything from her.

I would buy skin things from her.

Like she's a person who's really like I think a lot of women look up to who looks amazing, who looks amazing for her age.

and i just felt like that whole jlo beauty thing like the launch was kind of flop yeah

yeah she's in her flop era okay it's fine it's fine happens to everyone diola davis said it there's nowhere to go but up you gotta flop you can't yeah right you can't be up if you were never down yeah and at least she's up in her personal life true like she has you know more success than she would ever need she'll be fine

what this is is it's embarrassing yes yes and we need to pivot

like ross calor

In more embarrassing musical news.

What number is this?

Four?

Four.

Normani has been accused of running her own fan account.

I saw this whole thing unraveling live on social media last night, and I had to clench my butthole.

So Normani recently made headlines after wiping her official in, well, she didn't make headlines.

She didn't.

But she wiped her Instagram page, Normani, because, you know, that's what artists do when there's a new era coming.

And then a Normani Stan account posted a screenshot of Normani's blank Instagram saying, what is happening?

However, the screenshot that the Stan account posted still had like the user logo on the top left corner.

It wasn't cropped out.

And you could see that it was from that at Normani Instagram profile.

So thus, you know, she took the screenshot, like the person who was on Normani's account took the screenshot of a fan account and acted like, what is happening?

However, if you are on Normani's account, like you know exactly what's happening.

So do I think that like Normani herself is running two Twitter accounts, one for Normani and one for Normani Nation?

No.

Is Normani Nation like the official one?

I think.

Okay.

Do I think like maybe someone on her record label, PR team, marketing, one of her management team does both?

Yes.

And that's embarrassing.

So it definitely was not her.

No, not like the girl Norman.

Not the girl Normani, but Norman, Team Normani.

Yeah.

Runs Normani fan account and pretends like they don't.

Like at least Taylor Nation is tree it is taylor's management that like in their bio right and that's where you get all the news that you need on updates on tour on merch like it all comes from it's verified that's also what harry style says he has hshq right so this is not that no

what is happening it's just like oh my god you know what's happening like you did it yeah and there's also this like running joke on social media about normani because when she you know there was a lot a lot a lot of hype for her music career remember we had this really long conversation about it in in their old, old studio in Long Island City.

And she had released Motivation and she had that really amazing performance.

I think it was at the VMAs where she was wearing those really cute basketball shorts.

Like there was a lot of hype.

They said she was going to be the next Beyonce.

And there was like, Beyonce was getting involved.

Like, and she has this tweet that people constantly refer to because it was basically like, you guys are not ready for this album.

Like it will change the course.

Like, she didn't say this, but like, it was.

basically saying like, it will change the course in music history.

The album never came out.

She has never released a body of work.

And there's this like running joke online, like, we'll get it when we get Normani's album.

And so for her to be making moves now, finally, for this album that we've heard about for years, and this is the narrative, like it's really unfortunate.

No, it's bad.

And whoever, and I want to state, I do not think it was Normani running her fan account, but it was definitely someone who works for Normani.

They should be fired.

Like, this is a fireball offense.

It looks

really bad.

Like, I'm all about like, people make mistakes, social media.

No, no.

This is.

You had one job.

Bill type.

And people are just like, there are a lot of eyes on Normani because of this running joke.

No.

It's bad.

Unforgivable.

Unforgivable.

I'm sorry.

It is.

And it's just, because you want to know why, it's moreover, it's embarrassing.

And like.

There's no way around it, you know?

Right.

And even though we know it was someone who works for Normani, not Normani herself, like the culture that that people know.

No, no, it's not even about the culture of the people knowing.

Even if everyone knew it was Normani's team, it's like, what's embarrassing is she doesn't actually have a big fan account.

Like she's been propping herself up all this time, her and her team.

Like not even that, oh, we slipped on showing.

And it's like, so where are the fans?

Okay.

And that's the fans in the room with us.

And that just reminded me, and I can't believe I'm about to bring up Maddie Pruitt again.

But do you remember when Maddie Pruitt, like right after her bachelor season ended, she was really, really famous?

She was caught also running her own fan account.

Yes.

In what way was she caught?

She left a comment on the

on her own Instagram account, but she thought she was commenting from the fan account, being like, oh, Mad's, like, you look so cute or something.

Like something to her sister or something.

Yeah, like she was on the wrong account, basically, and commented, and people saw it immediately.

Got it.

Embarrassing, but like, that's what happens when you're coming up in the reality TV world.

Like, you're not, like, yeah, you, you do embarrassing shit like that.

Normani is

a star.

A star.

She has teams.

Yeah.

She has people.

Yeah.

Unacceptable.

Like, what's Maddie going to do?

Fire herself?

Boom.

Like, oops.

Yeah, no, it's true.

It's true.

Like, you can just like, you know, curse yourself, but this is an avoidable thing when you have like a whole team of people.

Teams.

People's.

Yeah, and it probably was like the social media manager who had to go and clear out Normani's Instagram because it's not an easy thing to do.

No, and then she wanted people to know, like, and alert them it happened.

What is happening?

Yikes.

And it's like, it's also, if you like, if we like to like a magnifying glass to like the tweet itself, it's like, that's what I guess a real stand account would say.

Yeah, like a teenager.

But would they, you know what I mean?

It's like, no, I feel like they would do like

a bunch of letters, be like, guys, I don't know how people talk, but right, something like that.

So just

a tough day for the pop stars.

Big L for the pop stars.

Yeah.

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Quince.com/slash toast jacks real quick.

What's your favorite item you've gotten from Quince?

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Like just so much.

Jackie ran out of printer paper.

So I printed the dear toasters, which we'll get to shortly, on the back of this, which is

the printer information page.

Like, hopefully it's not confidential and you're showing it.

No, you had a stack of papers.

I saw a lodka recipe.

I wasn't sure which back I should use.

I went with this one because it seems like you don't need this information.

Maybe I do need it because I can't work my printer.

Well, don't worry.

The IT department is here and I purchased all the required, all the, Jackie, so I come printer out of ink, out of paper.

No, but like she's been using it all week to print.

I don't know.

Let's talk about it.

Okay.

I don't use it that much.

So I'd had enough ink for me for weeks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for weeks.

What was it?

Five days ago, I said, hey, Jack's,

order more.

ink she keeps telling me she said it was running low it wasn't out yet so i i gave you time no but you kept telling me to order ink while i'm sitting there choosing the stories and if i I leave to go and order ink, then I go on a whole rabbit hole on my phone.

And then the show gets backed up.

So I said,

she said, tell me when I'm not doing this.

And you never did.

So the next day, I said, Jack, did you get that cartridge?

Oh, no, I'll do it today.

The next day,

I didn't say those two days.

The next day, remind me later.

The same thing.

So the next morning, I come in here.

God forbid, the bitch orders the cartridges.

Basically out of...

out of it.

So I said, fuck it, I'll just do it.

I ordered the cartridges.

She comes in.

I'm like, by the way, annoying, I got the cartridges.

You're like, wait, I already did it.

It's arriving today.

So I'm like, okay, so I canceled my Amazon order, put the cartridge in, and then the printer stops working.

So the last 24 hours, the printer hasn't been working.

And this morning, I was like, okay, IT department, let's go.

I'm futzing with it.

Fixes of printer, I.T.

department.

It won't tell me.

And then I realized Jackie bought the wrong cartridges.

So when I put the new cartridge in, it was like, we don't know this cartridge.

We are not compatible with this cartridge.

So then I had to replace my order.

And then I realized she's also out of paper.

So I had to get more paper.

And it's just been like this terrible saga and nobody should ever have a printer for your but like you created this saga perpetuated it next time why didn't you just order the cartridges to begin with and so like you're on printer patrol i will i will lesson learned lesson learned my cup is here yeah My husband, I ordered a drink from downstairs.

Yeah, your husband came in when I was doing the ads and I swear to God, like I just saw a cup appear behind the door.

My heart stopped.

That's classic dirty.

You guys will notice if you go back and re-watch the Quince ad, like there's a period where I just like stopped talking.

I was like actually really scared.

Zach brought me a coffee.

I ordered it like 30 minutes ago because I've been up since six.

So this is my third coffee and I finished my second one and I need a drink.

We talk so much.

We do.

I didn't realize the coffee's not just decorative.

Like I

need a beverage.

We also like need a fridge up here to do some actual work in this studio.

You need to throw out like everything in this studio.

No, but like some, you'll, you'll see some things.

It's like, okay, the old mic flags, like, do I throw those away?

Yes.

I was was just thinking like that can go in the trash that goes in our new storage unit

i mean it's a part of toast hurstry but like i can't think like that we only need one no but what i was gonna say yes i i should get a fridge in here so i can have cold drinks but it's the restocking of it like can you see me carrying like a thing of waters up the stairs no you have a husband yeah maybe i'll just like put a week should we go today to get a mini fridge yeah well i was also like you have like four outlets in this room and we use every single outlet no chargers cameras lights we need extension cords when i change the setup like i have to change outlets and like everyone is spoken for no

we okay project today there actually is one extension cord here and it's not used um the panel wait what there's a panel you know there's an extension cord it goes um so you plug it in so you so you use one outlet and you get two

an extension cord with two plugs like no thanks Oh, and it has like two USB ports.

Who the fuck needs that?

And also USB ports are going the way of the horse and buggy.

Yes, they are.

You're like, everything's USB-Z.

Like, do not give me an extension cord that doesn't have at least six plugs.

Like, that's insane.

There's a dearth of outlets.

Yeah, one, two.

One was something weird also.

It's actually not a dearth.

There's.

I guess, no, there's a lot of outlets in here for a small tiny room.

There's six.

And there's another one here.

There's eight.

No, that's one, two, three.

Four.

Four.

Yeah, I love outlets.

No, I do.

This conversation is fascinating.

Do you guys, but no, like an outlet, especially like an outlet right next to my bed?

Like, I'm obsessed.

Oh, yeah.

But you don't want it to look ugly.

No, no, I'm sorry, like right behind my headboard, but like in an accessible manner.

Oh, to me, that's like pornography.

Because I have my hatch.

I have my phone charger.

Oh, my gosh.

I also have a bedside lamp, which is such a flat, like a bedside lamp is everything.

Everything.

I have heating pad for

brew.

And then if I want to treat myself.

Kindle charger.

Kindle charger.

Yeah.

So universal charger just for miscellaneous items.

And then like now I need the USB-C charger for my old Kindle and my new phone.

Like, so dumb.

So, I need six outlets.

Bye, my bad.

Wrong.

They're wrong for that.

They're wrong for that.

We need to go outlet-free, cordless.

That shit never works, though.

Never.

And if you have a squeachy on the back of your phone, squeechies, like really starting to piss me off.

Don't even bother.

I know, but I'm like such a content creator.

You are.

I am a creator of content.

You are.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story, which is kind of perfect news?

Perfect news, yeah.

Vanessa Williams will star in a reimagined Devil Wears Prada musical.

So Vanessa Williams is going to be playing Miranda Priestley in a newly reimagined version of the Devil Wears Prada musical, debuting at the Theater Royal Plymouth on July 9th, the day before Turdi's birthday, 2024, ahead of a West End Project.

It's London, yeah.

It's all London.

So this is all happening in London.

So I'm happy for the Londoners.

No, but this is like where shows get brought to Broadway.

And this is where things could start to happen.

So I'm hopeful that this will be a...

rousing success and it comes to Broadway because I a more perfect casting I couldn't think of.

So there's so many, so much to unpack here.

First, like the sheer fact that the Devil Wars Prada is being made into a musical, and it's like, it is a star-studded production.

The music is being done by Elton John.

I just want to say, it did already premiere in Chicago as a musical.

And so now it's like, you know, picking up steam and it's heading to the West End.

And now they have like a celebrity casting.

Yeah.

And Vanessa Williams, who we all know as Wilhelmina Slater from Ugly Betty, and also like Miss America, and she has like a whole ton of accolades.

Like we know her from that.

is going to be Miranda Priestley.

And I feel as though like her

time on Ugly Betty was preparing her for this role.

It's the role she was born to play.

It's the role that she's already played.

She's also extremely musical and has a beautiful voice.

Yes.

So she was meant to play this role on Broadway.

I'm obsessed.

Did we need a Devil Wears Prada musical?

No.

And what's with Broadway, like not being able to come up with the original concept and just being like, you know, making old movies?

Mean girls, School of Rock, Matilda, making them into musicals.

Like, I don't know who asked for that, but it's fine.

If you're going to do it, do it like this.

Elton John, Vanessa Williams.

Yeah.

It's a sleigh.

it's a sleigh it's a sleigh and I feel as though maybe we're gonna be spending turties 30th in London you think no we're gonna champion this and make all the English toasters go so that it does get brought to Broadway yeah like I more I'm more excited about like the Vanessa Williams casting than I am what do you think of Vanessa Williams from Ugly Betty or Desperate Housewise like what's your association

Ugly Betty probably eks out just like by a little bit because like she wasn't like OG casting of Desperate Housewise, but then she actually had a huge role in Desperate Housewise.

So it probably goes Ugly Betty, than Desperate House Eyes.

She like became a main character, but she's not when you think of like the four Desperate House Eyes.

She's not one of them.

Yeah.

Which was a mistake.

Oh, for sure.

And I think once they cast her, they realize that.

I think she actually might be in like the cast photos, the cover photos.

She is.

For like the fifth and sixth seasons, whatever season she was on.

Yes, I believe that she is.

And so was that freak, Catherine.

She was the worst character.

The worst, but also an iconic role of Vanessa Williams is Hannah Montana, the movie.

The publicist.

Yes, of course.

Love, love.

What else was she in?

She doesn't get enough hype.

Yeah, but she's in everything.

She's like, look at her IMDb.

It's forever pages long.

What do we know about her?

What are our faves?

Yeah.

Hannah Montana.

That's such a good call.

Such a good one.

That movie was also low-key star-studded, like Tyra Banks.

Right.

And they were fighting over the shoe.

Right.

Love, love.

Yeah, so that's exciting.

It is exciting.

And what's more exciting is that it's the time of the show that I really have been waiting for the entire day, Dear Toasters, which is our weekly advice segment.

Every Wednesday, you can write into us at deartoasters at gmail.com if you want to email us.

If you want to submit on our website, it's the toastpodcast.com.

And

both ways of submitting are completely anonymous.

So do it over there.

And I'm going to start with the update that we have.

So as you guys know, I recapped in the beginning of the show.

Don't make me do it again.

The last we heard from this girl was she didn't know what to do with this information.

She found the condo.

She's going to be on a trip with her husband.

And they had a Valentine's Day drip planned.

And our advice to her was basically, don't have sex with him because he just had sex with his Rando Hooker.

and Rando Hooker.

Maybe like sit on the information, see if he comes to you.

Like it'll be very interesting to see how he acts now that you know.

Yeah.

No, now that he's done it.

And now that you know about it, like you can watch him with that perspective.

Hey, girlies, I didn't anyone.

I didn't know anyone wanted a further update until I saw the pod Friday.

And now I need to deliver the rest of the story.

First and most importantly, I did not have sex with my husband during our weekend away.

Luckily, I got food poisoning and it was easy to refrain from that weenie of a man.

Did he poison you?

Did she poison you?

Literally.

Second, I wanted all week for him to confess his sins, but he never did.

Monday evening, the other woman messaged my husband needing some sort of maintenance and he ignored the message.

I asked if he was going to go assist and he said no.

I pulled out the condom wrapper and slammed it on the coffee table.

He immediately started apologizing, explained that the girl had given him a beer after the job and that turned into multiple beers.

She came on to him and quote, it just happened.

He said he didn't mean for it to happen and he hasn't talked to her since.

I freaked out and started crying, ended up packing a bag and went to my sister's house.

I called into work today and I've been thinking about this whole situation all day.

He's tried calling and texting, but I've ignored them.

I haven't told my sister the full story because I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

What should I do?

What would you do?

I'm a total mess.

Okay.

So far, you're handling everything like so amazingly.

I also understand you not telling your sister because like once you do, like.

it makes it real.

And like, if you guys do end up working things out, but like, then your sister knows that your husband cheated on you.

Even still, like, even if you work things out and maybe she will be less quick to forgive him, like you shouldn't keep these secrets.

It's not your like, you didn't do anything wrong.

You didn't do anything wrong.

And like your sister should know like the state of your marriage because also you need to be able to talk to her going forward.

Like, okay, we're, even if you work it out, like we're back together, but I'm feeling this way.

Like you need someone to talk to.

I would tell your sister, even though like, yeah, she's going to look at him differently, but like if you forgive him, eventually she will too.

So that's not a reason not to tell her.

And I want to preface by saying, I'm actually not one of these people who's like, you cheated, I'm out.

Like, I do think people can come back from things.

It's all situational.

It's all it depends on the person it depends on like the existing relationship and my opinion here is that you should leave i think that

you have no children so there's really nothing holding you to this man to you're like kind of newly married and the fact that he really wasn't able to keep his dick in his pants for that long like this is not going to be a one-time thing i also think the way he uh covered up the crime and and his reaction to you was like kind of a letdown like take responsibility she like gave me a beer and they're like it just she gave on to me like i think accountability i agree take accountability but i believe him that that's what happened like the woman i know that it takes two to tango and he was the one who was in a relationship but like this woman has been preying on your man since she moved in she saw a window like with the beer and i think he was so fucking dumb just like the way he made you feel bad because you like had a weird feeling about her like he was so naive to what she was doing but she was throwing all kinds of tricks on him for sure but personal accountability is important but like i think he never expected that to happen or intended for that to happen and just is a dumb idiot loser but like do you want to be married to a dumbass lost loss?

Do you want to be married to a dumb idiot loser?

And like before this happened, like, how would you have described your relationship?

Right.

Right.

I just feel like nothing ventured, nothing lost.

Goodbye.

Yeah.

Cut clean.

Like to cheat on someone so early in your marriage, it's like, why did you get married?

No, dumb, idiot, loser.

Yeah.

And then it's like, do you want the father of your children to be dumb?

No.

Like, no.

It's bad.

It's bad.

And that he would cheat on you, not even come clean.

I hoped maybe like, you you know, you guys would have a weekend and like this would be eating at him and he'd be acting weird and he would come clean and like, okay, but he would have never told you.

If he got away with it, what would he do it again?

Right.

And you, you, he'd let you.

He did ignore the message, but like, that's just the first time.

Who cares?

That's just the first time.

That's what happens in an affair.

Like, you freak out.

You, you say you're never going to do it again.

Then you get into a fight with your wife and you run to the lady's house.

Like him not answering her text is not a check in his column.

Leave.

Leave.

Like, goodbye.

Goodbye.

You're like, it's getting such loser energy.

Like, and I don't know.

Like, and it's like, I, I'm thinking thinking the most recent like conversation we had about cheating was like victorian david beckham and they worked it out and it was fine but like listen he's not david beckham uh he's not david beckham and by the way they had like kids and they had a whole life together like you have to weigh are you could you not get past this it's worth you know putting to bed everything you two have been together sounds like you two haven't even been together that long you don't have kids you don't have a life like And the first opportunity, like, okay, you're, you're saying like the woman was the harlot who preyed upon him.

I'm saying like it takes two to tango, but the first time that happens, like you're so weak.

You're so weak.

Like, ew, honestly, it's an ick.

Like, obviously, the cheating.

But the fact that you're like a big, dopey loser who has not even the smallest bit of self-restraint, ick.

No, and like, can't see that this person is like how she's behaving.

And like, like, you just have bad judgment.

Yeah.

And I don't think that's who you want to, like, father your children and be your husband.

And it's giving weenie of the week.

Yeah.

Who used his weenie?

Who used his weenie?

And I think you should leave him.

We will not judge you if you don't.

Because I do think people can come back from things.

And I think there are a lot of people who went on to have if there's things worth saving.

Based on what we know, it doesn't sound like he's worth saving, but maybe you know other things that we don't.

And so that's completely your call.

It's your call, and we won't judge you either way.

But this is grounds for leaving.

Oh, for sure.

If you think you're overreacting, you're not at all.

You're actually like being really cool about it.

Yeah, you are.

Like you gave him a conversation.

You didn't like key his car and burn his things.

And I dug my key into the side of his pretty little soup

four-wheel drive.

Yeah.

But feel free to carve your name in his leather seats.

Yeah.

Keep us posted, of course.

Thank you for routinely keeping us updated.

Like it means the world.

And if you need us, we're here for you.

Yeah.

Keep us, keep keeping us updated.

Hopefully, like Wednesday, we could share more on what you decided.

Yeah, I would love.

But you also don't need to decide anything permanent this week.

Like stay at your sister, see how you feel.

You're so lucky to have a sister nearby.

Tell your sister though.

Because the secrets, like it will poison you and it's not your poison.

Right.

And then you like, you're keeping a secret and you didn't do anything wrong.

And that isolates you from the people that you love and then you're punishing yourself.

Yeah.

Tell your sis.

Hey, Jackson Turd, I started dating a guy two months ago.

As a finance girl, I love to talk about money and my new boyfriend owns his own business.

How long do I have to wait before I ask him how much money he makes?

I don't care.

I'm just genuinely curious.

Love a girly who hopes he doesn't take it the wrong way.

I think you can ask.

Two months is like actually, I'm sorry, you can't ask.

It depends like how serious you are two months.

But once you hit like, you know, exclusive,

love you relationship.

Yeah, like that's part of a relationship.

Financial transparency.

Like I'm trying to think like when me and Ben, but we were also like kids.

Like we like, we're in college.

We like didn't have jobs.

Zach and I told each other pretty early because we worked at the same company.

Oh,

we, it was like more so like very curious, like talking to a coworker.

Right, right, right.

But which is like, you're really not allowed to do that.

No, you're allowed to do whatever the fuck you want.

You're like not supposed to tell your coworkers how much you make.

Well, I would never.

That's never the rule of HR.

I would never tell a coworker how much I made because I was never close enough with a coworker to like have casual conversation, let alone like sit like that.

Yeah.

But we worked in like different departments.

So we weren't like competitive, but I'm just like curious.

Yeah.

I think that it's not so much about like how much time you've been together.

It's about the status of your relationship.

So like, are you in love?

Are you exclusive?

Are you moving fast?

Are you moving slow?

Are you just like dating or are you boyfriend and girlfriend?

Yeah.

And like when the conversation veers into financial territory, then ask, don't just like out of the blue one day, bring it up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's actually a really good point.

Cause then you like look a little crazy.

But I understand like she's really only asking out of sheer curiosity.

I'm a curious person too.

Like I get that.

But I do think that you can ask.

I don't think it's an out of bounds question.

Did she say what he did?

Like, no, he owns his own business.

So it's not like he has a job and a salary.

Oh.

So it's just like, it's a little like.

You're not going to get a straight answer.

Right.

Cause people who own their own business, like ourselves, like if somebody asked me how much I made, like, I couldn't tell you a number.

Yeah.

And also it's like the business might have made this, but we're putting it back into the business.

How much am I taking home?

Right.

He might not be taking home anything because he's waiting to sell.

Like, you're going to get a whole run around.

He's going to give you the rigmarole.

Like, you're not, you're going to ask, you're going to get an answer and you're going to feel like you don't have an answer.

And you're going to wish you didn't even ask because you didn't get an answer and then you're the person who asked.

Yeah.

Maybe just wait till it comes up naturally.

It will come up.

It's a part of like joining lives.

Yeah.

It's a huge part of it.

actually that's kind of my favorite part of love is blind when they do the finances or like they just talk to each other about like do you have debt student loans credit card loans how much do you make do you own a business like it's i find i'm like nosy and it's interesting but it also like is a huge part of like a life together yeah do you own your apartment do you own your house yeah that is true there are a lot of a couple like foundational conversations that they have to have they assume that they don't show us well actually you texted me i had totally forgotten people because people are just talking now about magnet fox chelsea like that's all they're talking about um

but there was actually a really interesting conversation on the third episode of Love is Blind that we kind of breeze past because like that couple's kind of irrelevant.

We've gotten like no airtime.

I don't even know their names.

Jeremy, Jeremy, and Sarah.

And she was basically just like, well, yes, you're about politics.

Right.

Which I'm sure that they talk about it.

But they've never shown it.

They've never shown it.

I assume that every couple has that conversation.

And probably also like religion would be there too.

And unless it's like the thing that's binding them, like Kenny and Brittany.

Brittany, we don't need to see it.

And also, that's really personal stuff so i think it's better when they don't air it but like they just raw dog aired this girl's answer no and she was also like very um i think she was oh did he ask or she asked he asked it's like such a crazy he would and and then they went into abortion yeah and just like these really hot button issues and they seemed like they sort of were i thought this conversation actually like was healthy was really healthy but it was just like kind of unfair that they only aired hers totally it was like kind of crazy no i was and by the way, like, those are the questions.

Like, you really need to be on the same page with someone.

Like, those are like foundational things.

But I don't think that they, well, maybe, maybe they aired this because I don't think, so she's conservative, but the vibe I got is that he's not.

But he didn't say anything back.

No, they probably didn't air what he said because she said, you know, I'm conservative, but I definitely have left-leaning friends and I love them.

And we can just like talk about stuff.

So I feel like that might be their story.

I don't know if they get together or whatever, but maybe politics is what comes between them.

And that's why they showed us this conversation.

I won't answer you because, like, I know more than you, and I don't want to spoil it.

I don't want you to read my facial reactions either.

Okay, I'm sure.

Look, I feel like from what you're saying, like, he went with Blondini.

I'm literally not saying anything.

The blonde lady that also likes him.

Maybe if you, you know, finish the episodes, you know.

I'm working as hard as I can.

I know, I know.

Was that our third or our fourth?

I can't remember.

Two.

Which one did I do?

I did the update.

That was.

That was two.

Okay.

Let me ask you a question.

finances when how long does you have to wait ask but he owns his own business so there's so like you're not gonna find any and every year is different like yeah

okay final one dear turt and jackie oh i had a baby six months ago my husband and i have planned for multiple children we are enjoying parent life and recently i mentioned that i'm ready for round two my husband mentioned my weight He said that he doesn't think I should get pregnant until I lose the baby weight.

I reminded him that I was smoking hot and in the best shape of my life when I met him.

And he was a dope boy when we met.

I need advice.

Should I divorce him?

Should I shame him?

Make him buy me jewelry, etc.

cetera.

Okay.

First of all, I hate him.

Like, I just want to say, like, this just, like, gives me such a pit.

It's not his place to say anything.

And I just have to ask the question, like, is he saying it because of aesthetics or because of health?

Because, like, you know, medically, like, it is

healthier and safer to get pregnant.

Like, if you are severely overweight, like it

poses health risk.

She says.

baby weight.

Oh, well, that's weight from the baby, not like, I was thinking like baby fat.

Like, never mind.

But it's like

is I just and only really you can answer this question I don't need you to update us but like is it because he wants you to like be high aesthetically like you know cause and if you start to gain weight at this weight like it's obviously gonna be more or is it because it poses a risk like really how overweight are you sorry to ask that question because if it's the first one hate goodbye like I hate you yeah If it's the second one, like it's so annoying to hear, but it's not without merit.

Yeah, but there are ways to say it.

And if he was saying it in like the health concern kind of way, he obviously failed.

I just don't think there's a way to say it that's ever going to, I know, that's ever going to feel okay.

Where it's like, oh, well, he said it right.

Like, no, it's still the same message, even if it's, you know, it's a dog shit message.

It's also like something you really have to come to on your own.

Like, cause I speak from experience where I was like, I used to think like, yeah, I'll get pregnant.

But now, like, when I

think back on my weight loss journey, like so much of it was like, I really couldn't, not from like a fertility perspective.

Like, I don't know how safe it would have been for me to have gotten pregnant at that weight and I'm not pregnant I don't plan on being pregnant but it's something I think about yeah no and plenty of like people are pregnant and they get pregnant overweight and everything's fine and it's not necessarily like a bad thing but it can pose higher risk so that's just something to think about but but it really doesn't sound like that's what he was saying from like it sounds like he was like giving like for the aesthetic well then he can go fuck himself and I hate him okay and it's like and it's oh she cursed no and it in the swear jar was that the only time you cursed no I think I've been cursing this man for like

and I totally was not like paying attention to the whole thing.

Right, that's what I mean.

Like, I don't pay attention when I curse.

Let us know in the comments.

But, and I just like, and it's not as if, and it's your body.

So it's like, it's not as if you're not aware of these things.

You know, so it's like for him to say, it's like, okay, thanks, Captain Obvious.

Like, it's dead.

Don't fuck yourself.

No, totally.

Totally.

And it's like, if it's your body, so if you decide that like you're okay, that this amount of weight is like, okay, to get pregnant again, like I didn't lose all my Harry weight before I, but I got to a place where I was like, okay, this is a good amount and I feel comfortable getting, like, it's my choice to make.

Yeah.

Also, I just feel like nobody's ever sat someone down and talked to them about their weight, like even from a really, even the person who does it in the best way, like really coming from a place of love and concern for their health.

Like even if, you know,

people have, but there's just no.

No, I'm sorry.

You know, let me finish.

Okay.

Even if they did it in the best way, like.

and gotten through to the person, like it's really something you have to come to on your own.

Yeah.

And there's no

good way to do it.

Nothing anybody could have ever said to me to make me think that like to inspire me to go on my health journey like it really was something that took me like 10 years to come to and some people come to it faster some people come to it slower some people don't come to it no one sitting a person down like it doesn't help no no it doesn't work and he needs to get that memo and it's like for you it's like you'll make the decision within yourself it's like some people want to gain the weight and then lose all the weight before they gain more some people want to just kind of like pile it on and then i'll lose it all when they're done when i'm done

different strokes for different folks yeah

And so I know you, or you don't have to lose a weight.

Right.

Or some people don't and they're fine.

But some people don't have like the issues we have.

Like it's just like, I had a baby and then I lost some weight.

Like, how?

I had a baby and then I lost my baby weight.

And like, yeah, it took me a while.

Just fell off?

No, but it did not even fell off.

Like, you know, nine months on, nine months off.

Like, unless I work at it, I won't be losing the rest of my baby weight.

Right.

But not everyone's like that.

Yeah, it's so crazy.

So you decide for yourself how you want it to go and then you tell him how it's going to go.

And he'll be lucky if he's still around to see how it goes.

And he'll be lucky if he's around to father child number two, right?

Sorry, you're going through that, girly.

Sorry to all the girlies who are clearly struggling today.

So, like, annoyed.

Ah,

you know, we need lunch.

Speaking of gaining weight, lunch.

I think we're gonna go to the farmer's market or something.

Like, I'm hungry.

Oh, yeah, I'm gonna take Turdy to a market so that she can get Turdy tings.

And I'm excited about that.

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