Spite Podcast: Friday, February 2nd, 2024

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the shows and happy Friday.

It's a celebración.

It's an extravaganza.

It's the end of the week.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my goodness.

Hey, Jax, how you doing?

I'm dern good.

A hard-earned end of the week.

It's been a sick week for y'all, girl.

I've seen you guys complaining in the comments, and I just want to say, imagine how I feel.

Imagine how tired she is.

You're tired of me sniffling?

Imagine how I feel.

Sniffling.

Have some compassion.

How are you feeling?

Are you wearing my shirt?

I'm wearing this outfit that you gave me when I was pregnant because I have so much cabbage in you're cabbaging in this very moment?

You're cabbaging in this moment and Zach bought me a fresh cabbage yesterday.

That is the biggest cabbage at the patch.

So the leaves are huge and they literally go up to my neck.

If I just open one button, look, cabbage.

Oh my God.

And you thought...

You thought that the gorgeous Norma Kamali set that I gave you should smell like cabbage?

That's how you receive the gifts that I give?

I wanted to look amazing today.

And I said, oh, some of my most amazing outfits were gifted to me by Claudia.

Not the black and white cardigan.

Dark times.

Dark times.

No, and I needed something where you wouldn't see all this cabbage, but I didn't want to do like another sweatshirt.

Oh, you know what it was, Turdy?

Actually, I had already put my hair up and I had already put my eyebrow glue on so I couldn't put something over my head.

So I went for my button-downs and then I saw this outfit that I love so much.

And yes, it is a little oversized because I'm like teeny tiny.

And I thought, perfect.

Okay.

Noted.

I love this outfit, La Terre de Lou.

Michio, that outfit's kind of like, it really is a sisterhood of the traveling pants type of outfit.

It looks good on everyone, whether it's a little small on you, whether it's a little big on you.

Like it could be snug, but it could also be oversized.

Like it's kind of the most amazing outfit.

And I think like each sister should wear it.

It would fit every sister.

Like that's what's magical about it.

Fit every sister.

The last time I wore it was at your birthday and I was nine months pregnant, slayed the house down boots.

Yup, boots.

Today, five and a half months out, slaying the house down boots cabbage.

Slaying the house down boots cabbage.

Write it down for title.

That's

many options we will have today.

Even though, like,

let's give some inside baseball tea to like the girlies listening today.

I'm very particular about titles because it's like, so slay the house down.

Boots.

Cabbage is like a funny thing that we've said, but if you are toast agnostic and you're scrolling through the charts, it's not something that's going to make you want to listen.

Not only that, it's too long.

Like I have a character limit on the title.

It says it was for me.

The way it shows up on our YouTube cover photo, the way it shows up on our social cards, even the way it shows up in the charts, if it's this long sentence, people can't read the whole sentence.

I love a short, quick, nasty title.

Like, especially one that like...

When Taylor Swift does something, it's like so great for our business.

Like Taylor on the Field earlier in this week.

That's our highest listened to episode.

Not necessarily because of the title, because I think a lot of people wanted to know what we were going to say about Taylor.

But they know for sure that we're going to be talking about it.

And then, actually, maybe some people who are casually scrolling the charts, they see this episode that's like in the top 1%, and they're like, oh, the top 1% talking about Taylor on the field.

Let me listen.

That actually would get new listeners.

No, they see, oh, the 1%ers are talking about Taylor Swift.

Right.

And how many other podcasts in like the top 20 overall podcast episodes of the day have Taylor in the title that day?

Like, really, none.

It's all about.

you know, war and the election.

Also,

once again, another Friday has rolled around where I have an overwhelming amount of options for weenie of the week, and I might have one queenie.

I was thinking about it as I was doing my makeup this morning, and then I forgot about it.

But it will come to me.

I had some early starters, but it's just like, it's hard.

It's hard to like get so in the weeds, you know?

Because then I'm like, is this person deserving of weenie?

And then I zoom out and I'm like, Sinoir.

Sinoir is my weenie.

Yeah, no, you're, you need to like kind of reset your level.

I have my weenie.

Oh,

the weenie has spoken.

I can't wait.

The weenie has emerged.

Oh, wow.

The weenie has made him or her or themselves known.

Oh, my God.

Is it...

Okay, you know what?

I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

They've made they themselves known.

They, it's a group of people or a non-binary person?

You'll have to stay tuned till the end of the show to find out.

Yikes.

So we, of course, have a great show for you guys today.

I was inspired by my absolutely gorgeous drop-dead Ziva bitch ass of a sister to get a spray tan today, which I'm going to do later today, just to kind of like look gorgeous for the weekend.

Love that for you.

You've just inspired me to book my next spray tan.

You know,

one thing about 2024, like let's stay on top of our beauty treatment so we stop looking like rats.

Like we're on camera every day.

And like the fact that for years I wasn't consistently getting spray tans, consistently getting lash lips, consistently taking care of myself, consistently exfoliating.

Like we are going to be beautiful this year.

That's the goal, bitch.

I love that for us.

And like I've said, once I'm done weaning, it's over for you, bitches.

So you better enjoy these last few weeks.

You better enjoy them.

By the way, all you bitches who've been like laying dormant while Jackie's kind of been like in her nesting, hibernating, you know, big-breasted cabbage years, like, watch the fuck out, bitch.

Wake up.

Wake up.

She's coming for you.

Enjoy these last few weeks.

Your time is winding down.

Oh, yeah.

Just wait till she starts shooting herself up with Ozempic.

It's really over for you, bitches.

Yeah.

I mean, I decided to do that.

You decided you're not going to do that.

I've decided that's just not in the cards for me right now.

I'll let you guys know if that changes for any reason, but I really don't know why it would.

Listen, your decision is your decision.

And it pains me to make that decision because I'm so eager to see what it's like.

Like to experience the juice and the magic.

By the way, the cool thing about it is that it lasts one week.

So I could shoot you up.

I think you could leave it like one week and just...

Like, by the way, then this, I'm not recommending this.

I'm not a doctor.

I'm just saying, like, I could could bring some and like shoot you up and we could just say how i feel i just know i'm gonna be addicted no i know by the way it's literally heroin in a needle it's like my version of heroin no it's my version of heroin too i don't think i would like traditional heroin but i think every everybody

is that everyone does that was a crazy part of mike sorrentino's book that i can't stop talking about it because it was so good At the very height of his addiction, he had gotten sober like many times, but really fake sober just so we could get back to work.

At the very height of his addiction, he had like literally spent every, he was making millions.

He had not a dollar to his name.

He had sold all of his cars, everything to buy drugs.

And his girlfriend and his parents like knew he was a drug addict.

So they were keeping an eye on him.

His friend came, picked him up.

He ran in the car.

They drove to Newark.

And this guy, his friend was like, I know where we can score some cheap drugs.

They pick it up.

They go to the guy's house.

Mike opens like the tinfoil thing.

And he's like, oh my God, it's heroin.

And he had never done heroin before.

And he like said he was not going to do it.

And I forget what actually happened.

I think he did it.

Or like Lauren, his now wife called him at the second he was about like thinking about doing it.

It was like this crazy moment in the book.

And

yeah, it was like, he was like, I was a crazy addict, but my line was heroin.

Like I was never going to do heroin.

But then here he was faced with the only option of heroin.

Yeah.

Damn.

And I can't talk about heroin without talking about that episode of

you okay?

Yeah, it's just, I feel like that cough proves to people that I'm sick.

Like

just to cut it out the time safe.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no.

And it's, I don't have a chronic cough.

Right now, it was just a clearing of the throat because I'm on the men and I'm hoping that by Monday I will have watched the Barbie movie and I'll be able to discuss it without sounding nasally.

So as I was saying, I really can't talk about the drug heroin without thinking about that episode.

Well, that segment Dr.

Phil did on those three sisters who were addicted to heroin and who lived in that sort of like crackdown and how I spoke about it on the toast.

No, actually, I think it was the breath like many, many years ago.

And it turned out one of them was a breather and she like DM'd me and she said she thought it was hilarious.

I'm like, oh, okay.

Classic.

the toast

they had tapped out the veins in their arms and they started shooting up in between their claudia stop claudia just stop it no honestly like i feel like no we're moving we're fricka fricka we're switching gears okay here here's what something that's sad that happened to me this morning

i saw on instagram this like absolutely gorgeous picture of ariel charnis on her instagram stories just looking so sick and i was like what if i just swiped up and i really wanted this coat she had like the cutest outfit on yeah yeah yeah it's it's very i think think it's from yesterday because it was very early in her stories.

It's a white coat.

Okay.

She has like a Chanel bag, a white coat, leggings.

Like, it's just like a cool girl, like Upper East Side mom.

And I'm like, I think I need to look like that.

Let me know.

So, why didn't you just hit the copy paste?

$1,500 jacket.

Like, girl, come on.

Let me see.

On Aurel Charnes.

Let me see what it's made of.

Your mom's going to be a little bit more.

And she did do a look for less.

And I love

how sickening.

Okay, I see the coat.

Where's the swipe up?

Oh, she's posted all these throwbacks.

Oh, no, by the way, you're too far gone.

It's pride.

It's over.

Okay, so let me go back to the coat and analyze.

Tap the link.

Tap the link.

It's right there.

It's not linked.

Oh, it must have expired.

It was from yesterday.

$1,500.

And then my queen, she was like, oh, let me do a look for less.

Oh, I see it on the grid.

So now she said, oh, here, I'll link a jacket for less for you broke bitches.

I'm like, okay, great.

I'll do the only her dupe is from Revolve.

Like, that's not the dupe.

That's the goal, you know?

Yeah, but what what about that one for you?

That's really like where you're where you like to shop.

I don't know.

Compared to like the one that she posted, I just felt like it would be cheap.

Like even though it was a $300 coat, like it definitely wasn't cheap.

But like, I don't know.

It didn't feel right.

I wanted the one.

Well, the thing is, I do really like the style of coat, so I do want to

persuade you to get it.

All right, calm down.

I'm not getting it.

And I just feel like you need it.

I feel like I need it too, even though I don't really.

Otherwise, how would you be warm if you didn't have this coat?

Well, I do have my vest that I'm currently wearing that was $4 from Amazon.

So I feel good about that.

I also am wearing my 1989 Taylor's merch that I ordered in October that took four months to come that arrived literally yesterday.

So you're feeling warm enough?

I'm feeling warm enough.

And I just want to thank Taylor because honestly, like her having a four-month lead time like makes me feel so good about our toast merch, which if you've ordered, like you shouldn't be getting in like literally a week or two.

In a fraction of the Taylor time.

Right.

So thanks, Taylored.

We love you for that.

Yeah.

I just think you should get that coat.

I really like it.

And I think it would just elevate it would it wouldn't just be about the coat it would kind of change who you are as a person sorry okay i could wear it with everything day or night and everyone say oh my god there's claudia just like kind of their breath would be taken away by you and in that coat oh no you're like kind of convincing me also a coat can change a person wait what if you get the coat for me

no what if we find a reason why you should treat yourself No, okay.

I need to find like an, I know, no, no.

I could, that's easy.

I need

a coupon code.

I should have done honey.

Like, I should have, but like, the brand was wardrobe.

Like, they don't do coupon codes, you know?

Like, they're not like us.

No, you just have to.

What I'll try to just, like, done with the coat and she could give it to me, even though she's probably, like, a size double zero.

Just get the coat.

I don't know.

$1,500 is a lot of money on a coat.

But why don't you order the coat?

If it does, if you put it on and it doesn't change who you are, then return it.

And if it does, then you're meant to have it.

And you'll wear it so many times, it'll justify the price.

Coats are expensive, like when they're made of things that will keep you warm.

When they're made of coat.

When they're made of real coat that's like a real coat.

Like one thing about me, like I, for no reason, like will defend Ariel Charnas to the death.

Like she's just a person I follow on the internet who I feel fiercely protective over.

There's a few people like that.

Like I'm always going to bat for them even though I literally don't even know them.

And would they do the same for you?

No.

Actually, I don't know Ariel Charnas' character, but I imagine she would.

And it's not tit for tat.

You don't do it to get it in return.

You do it because it's the right thing to do.

Like Brittany Mahomes won't be defending me anytime soon soon, but I'll keep defending her.

No, no, exactly.

Like I do it because my job is to comment on the culture and I'm going to speak from the heart.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you're not going to like add to their burden, to their pile.

They have enough people coming at them.

No, it's so true.

And just having been someone who has been piled on on the internet a couple of times, like I know what that's like.

And I'm literally like never going to be a part of it, you know?

Except if it's Justin Timberlake.

Oh, I'm sorry.

This conversation is really only talking about girls.

Like, I feel differently about girls and boys.

Like, boys can handle it for real.

Yeah.

Also, celebrities versus influencers is different, as we've stated so many times.

By the way, Justin Timberlake and Ariel Charnis, I couldn't be more different.

Yeah.

I'm glad that we've established that because I think people were confused.

I did, however, buy the socks from her LTK swipe up.

So you got a piece of the magic.

I got a piece of the magic and I spent $30 on socks.

Like, she's insane.

I'm sure your feet will be so warm.

We live for it.

I love enabling people to buy nice things.

It's really one of my passions in life.

And I've also recently, like, my itch has been reactivated.

Yeah, like you're feeling like you want to invest in something.

Feeling like shopping, feeling like shopping is going on.

I'm dropping.

Because I'm coming out of hydration.

Right.

And I got to go.

We go shopping together.

Oh, my God.

You want to come down.

Yes.

And I can drive you.

And I got like one thing recently.

I'll drive.

And it just, no, I'll drive.

Oh, you know what?

I realized I was playing around with my Tesla yesterday.

I realized, you know how you don't like Tesla because it's like a golf cart in terms of stopping and starting.

It's not traditional the way we were all taught to drive, which is foot on the brake at all times.

You can change the settings so that it will drive like a car that you're used to.

So if you ever want to drive it, you could drive it that way.

Oh, we should definitely do that.

And you should probably do that too, just so you can, you're like a new driver.

You should know how to drive one type of car.

No, I drove Dak's car the other day.

It wasn't pretty, but we made it home.

Yeah, I just honestly, like, whenever you talk about about driving, like, I get the vibe, like, you don't want to succeed, like, for real.

What is it?

No, I'm scared.

I do want to see, I want more than anything for this not to be like this big impediment in my life, but I just, I'm too cautious of a person, you know, and I can't just throw caution to the wind on this.

It's too important.

No, I know that.

So like, it would be more cautious of you to set up your Tesla like all the other cars on the planet.

Why?

I only need to really know how to master my own car.

And I find it easier to drive this way.

Like, I'm more comfortable.

I don't want to keep my foot on the brake at all times.

Okay.

I could just, like, sit out of light and my both feet are willy-nilly.

How crazy.

What are you going to do?

A dance?

Never know.

A nourished jig?

You never know.

How are the stories today?

I feel better than yesterday.

Oh, okay.

And I didn't even think yesterday was so bad.

Yeah, no.

They came together in a nice manner.

Any follow-up stories on Tarek's armed hike?

I would love to.

No.

T-A-H?

What else do you want to know?

Has Christina spoken out?

Like, anything?

Oh, I don't know if I would click if Christina spoke out.

Like, I don't think I would notice that.

It wouldn't pop off the page to me because she's always like in People Magazine, like sharing her favorite bracelet, you know?

Yeah, I know.

Like, she's always in People Magazine sharing her favorite bracelet.

So I don't know if I would notice.

I kind of like scroll past the headlines.

And by the way, what's so funny?

No shame.

There was a storyline in Selling Sunset, like season one or two that Christine Quinn said, like Heather was so upset that Christine Quinn said how

Heather is always in People Magazine like sharing her favorite muffin recipe.

Tarek almusa married the same woman.

Yeah.

Twice.

Yeah.

Yeah, he did.

Yeah.

So.

I really like Heather and Tarek, though, so I'm not going to say anything.

You're not going to be a hater?

No.

I really like Heather.

And if A equals B and B equals C and she loves Tark and I love Heather, then I love Tarek.

I love using the theorem of logic.

A equals B, B equals C.

No, what is that?

The chain.

What's that theory called?

Chain theory.

Chain theory.

Like A equals B and B equals C, then A equals C.

It's never not right.

No, it's so factual.

And don't even start like when we throw D in there and then A equals D.

No, that's too much.

It's a hair too far.

Also, let me tell you about a new thing I'm experiencing that's actually ruining my life.

I woke up at 3 in the morning and I went back to bed at 6 and I just woke up like an animal

at my usual time, which is about 8, 8.30.

I actually didn't get out of bed till 9.

I really couldn't.

I don't know what the fuck is up with that.

And it's really pissing me off and it has to be done.

It has to be stopped.

Well, at least when you come here, you can make yourself useful at those hours.

Oh, my God.

Give a little bottle.

But I would love that.

But like, no, you know?

No, I think you would like it.

And then Ben wakes up and he's like, Are you awake?

And I'm like, Yeah, because I was, I scrolled on my phone.

I was literally laying there for like 30 minutes.

I'm like, I have to do something.

I'm so bored.

And so Ben was like, Are you on your phone?

I'm like, Yeah.

He's like, Well, that's why you starts yelling at me.

He's like, That's why you can't sleep.

I'm like, Do you think I want to be here?

Like, do you think I want to be doing this right now?

Okay, not to be Ben's advocate, but it's true.

Like, you turning on your phone tells your brain, Hey, it's awake time.

You'd be better off just turning on your Kindle, please.

Wow.

Yeah.

Oh.

The light from your phone signals to your brain that it's time to to be awake.

So you're actually accomplishing like the exact opposite thing of what you're setting out to do.

Oh, so we have gotten to a place in this show where you took my husband's side.

Noted?

Yeah, it's dark times.

Noted.

And I will be calling your husband later.

I think actually that Ben took my side because that would have been my argument.

Tell Zach he will be hearing from my people.

You're going to take his side?

I'm going to set up a call with Zach, ask him what's going on in your marriage and how I can help make it worse.

What would he want you to take his side about?

I feel like you guys disagree on like the dumbest, most random stuff.

Like, yeah.

Like, I can't even, I can't even remember.

And whenever I'm at your house, you know, I ride for you.

Yeah.

Now, it's usually because you're right, but I still, like, even if you weren't right, I wouldn't feel right about not taking your side.

Maybe I would just like walk away.

And we love when we're like having a disagreement to like opening it up to the jury, which is really the worst thing you can do for a marriage or just any sort of relationship.

Yet, you know, nevertheless, we persist.

And And I always ride for you.

So the fact that not only you would take my husband's side, but you do it publicly on this show here.

Noted.

That's how much I care about turdy sleep.

I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear.

Noted.

I think after this, I'm going to listen to good guys.

Noted.

And I'm going to like and subscribe.

You know what I think I'm going to do?

I think I'm going to go listen to Reese's Book Club podcast and like and subscribe and maybe share it on my Instagram to my millions of devoted followers.

Maybe that's what I'll do.

Whoa, she got me there.

Yeah.

Maybe I'll start my own.

Wow.

Hit me where it hurts.

Yeah.

But, and you would do that to the Redheads.

Like, it's not just about me.

We're a collective.

Yeah, no, and I would, I would actually just, it would be a spite podcast.

By the Kirb comes back on Sunday.

Exciting.

That is very exciting.

They did like a big premiere for it.

Larry was on the Today Show.

Larry's looking good.

I didn't see it.

Oh.

Why don't I get the vibe you like, hate Larry?

Like, what is...

No, I don't.

You're just like giving, like, I hate Larry energy.

What's wrong?

I am, but I love Curb.

No, it's the best show on TV.

And actually, so.

I just feel like he's a little, no offense, demi levato at being like, this is the last season of curb.

Oh, stop.

By the way, thank God for that.

No, I'm glad for it, but like, stop saying that.

I think this is like the final season of Curb until he comes in.

Yeah, no, they say it, he always says it's the final season, and then that was like four seasons ago.

However, I think he just like, he, it's, what's more more relatable than that, like working really hard on something and being like, okay, never again.

And then a month later, being like, well, what if I just did another season?

I.

It's like Tom Brady.

He, he, they had a big premiere for it.

And actually, that guy, so funny, remember that guy who worked at, um, I think he went to Colgate, the journalist from E-News who like got fired for.

Yeah, he got fired for like a shady reason.

Now he's like the face of variety.

I feel like nobody talks about that.

Oh, interesting.

What's his name?

Ken Baker?

He went to Colgate, right?

Yeah, he did.

So not Baker.

Who is this?

Ken Baker.

Yeah, he went to Colgate.

He asked Larry, what is your favorite?

Like, what do you think is the best episode of Curb of All Time?

And Larry said, and it couldn't be more appropriate, Palestinian chicken.

Yeah.

That is the best episode of TV, like ever.

It's just like a crazy episode of TV.

It is, but that's not my favorite episode.

I couldn't tell you what my favorite episode is, but there's one episode with the girl.

Ben's favorite episode.

Excuse me.

There's one episode.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

We both just started talking at the same time.

From 22 Jump Street.

She's also in other stuff.

Jillian.

What's her last name?

Jillian!

That's what I was online!

That's Ben's favorite episode where she wears a crop top and Larry holds onto her belly.

That's Ben's favorite episode.

That's just like one that really sticks out to me.

I remember after I saw it, I called you and I was like, you have to watch this episode.

It is Ben's favorite episode.

Well, I'm so glad that, you know, our crossed paths.

We would have ended up at the same place anyway.

It's not about the journey.

It's about the destination.

Yeah, it's about the destination and not interrupting people as frequently as you can.

I just think it's so fucking important to remember, like, we're literally on a delay here.

We both started talking at the same time.

It may have felt like I was interrupting you, but we started at the same time.

Gaslight.

Okay, like, low-key, why am I lying?

Like, no, I interrupted you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Also, I actually wanted to come clean about a lie I told earlier on the show.

I'm burning yourself, Turdy.

I shared last, maybe it was it earlier in this week or maybe last week, like that I hit a new milestone in my fitness journey that I ran four minutes straight.

Like it was three.

I don't know why I lied.

Like I was just straight up making stuff up.

It was three periods.

Yeah.

No extra seconds.

Like I'm sure maybe it was like three, two or something, but it wasn't four minutes.

Okay.

You're only lying to yourself, really.

I'm okay with that.

Yeah.

And maybe like if you told that lie, it inspires you to actually get to that four minute and it's motivational.

So, yesterday I was like, okay, if I just hit the four-minute, then it wouldn't have been a lot of fun.

Then you're not a liar.

I literally couldn't.

Like, I was dying, cramping.

You'll get there.

Yeah.

So, sorry about that.

I'm coming playing.

I think we should get into the stories because we've got a lot to do today.

And we're being like a little radical 25 minutes.

Like, what?

It's 25 minutes?

We're at 2330.

Not me making up numbers again.

Jeez, Louise.

Without further ado, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

And the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Dossier.

After learning about the incredibly high markup across the designer perfume industry, Dossier began their mission, make luxury fragrances accessible.

So at Dossier, each scent is crafted of the best ingredients sourced from Grasse France, the perfume capital of the world.

Their expert perfumers are among the industry's top noses, each of them having worked with the most prestigious luxury brands that you see on the market today.

Fragrances cannot be patented, and the ingredients inside the designer perfumes that you all love cost about $2.

That's why Dossier decided that it's time to revolutionize the fragrance industry and bring you the same designer quality for a fraction of the cost.

All the perfumes range from $29 to $49 and today we have a discount code for all of you.

So they have perfected a wide range of designer fragrance impressions.

Yes, dupes, inspired by some of the most popular fragrances and a variety of unique original perfumes for everyone to find their personal scent.

I love that somebody's tackling the fragrance industry or as I like to call it, it, the water in a bottle.

It's literally insane.

Like you pay, there are people who pay $300 for a bottle of perfume and it's literally water.

It's staggering what perfume costs these days.

It is staggering what perfume costs these days.

And I just want to say, I got the dossier products and I got like a sampler and it was so awesome because they not only give you like, I don't know how many perfumes were in there, maybe 10, but it came with a one sheet of like what each perfume, what it's inspired by the like designer.

It's a dupe.

And one, I could smell it smells exactly like something else and two like now i'm a designer perfume girly for fraction of the cost at dossier indulging in luxury is personal pleasure that everyone can enjoy so visit dossier.co and use code toast at checkout for 10 off your next order that's d-oss i e r.co code toast for 10 off today's episode is also brought to you by neutrophil

If you experience anything like hair thinning, shedding, hair issues, check out Nutrofall.

I feel like everybody, whenever anyone experiences like like a hair issue for the first time in their life, they all turn to Nutrophol and everybody I know has such good things to say about it.

Actually our sister Olivia just started it.

So hair thinning is very complicated.

It's much bigger than your actual hair.

It usually doesn't even have to do with your hair.

I know when I experienced like really bad hair shedding last year,

it had to do obviously with my drastic change in diet and weight loss.

So there's always something going on inside.

It can be stress.

It can be hormones.

Of course, postpartum.

Whatever the reason is, Nutrofall is going to tackle that specific reason.

With their hair wellness quiz, you can get personalized hair health plans today.

It's the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement with over a million people seeing thicker, stronger, faster growing hair and less shedding.

The three-minute quiz determines what the underlying root causes are that are keeping you from reaching your hair potential.

So by analyzing your lifestyle, biology, hair history, as well as environmental triggers, NutriFall creates a hair health plan that is tailored to your hair needs.

So start your hair growth journey today by taking NutriFall's hair wellness quiz.

Get your personalized hair health plan today.

For a limited time, NutriFall is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping at neutrafall.com slash quiz when you enter promo code the toast.

Take the quiz and get started on reaching your hair wellness goals with NutriFall today.

That's n-ut-t-r-a-f-o-l.com slash quiz.

That promo code is the toast.

Neutrafall.com slash quiz, promo code the toast.

Thank you.

La.

You are so unbelievably welcome.

Okay, our first story, some Wendy Williams news as a new

trailer for her documentary has dropped.

Wendy Williams is finally telling her side of the story.

In a trailer for Lifetimes documentary called, Where is Wendy Williams?

The iconic TV host openly abuses alcohol and breaks down crying as she details the financial strain she's experienced from being placed under a guardianship.

She says, I have no money.

The documentary features her son, Kevin Hunter Jr., her sister Wanda, and more family members as they fight to help her get well physically, but also free her from the financial prison in which she finds herself.

Her sister says, we all make choices in life.

We all go through our challenges.

She's still a person.

Her son also claims that her appointed guardian hasn't done a good job of protecting wendy and wanda echoes that the system is broken wanda says we are her family and you tell me i'm not capable of taking care of my sister what would you do what should i do

i feel like everyone in the world has been wondering like where in the world is wendy williams and now we know and it's like worse than we could have thought i really thought she was just like taking time privately to deal with her health issues.

Also, she was on TV every day for many, many years.

Maybe she just wants to like, I don't know, be alone.

But the reality is much worse.

And I'm glad she's making that lifetime money because, like, she sold this documentary.

This is a project.

This is income.

Yes, but

the guardianship is kind of confusing.

It's like, who is the guardian?

And it seems like it's her former or current financial advisor at Wells Fargo.

And her money is like there.

Oh, I thought she had no money.

No, I think she has no money because she doesn't have access to it.

I was very confused.

I was trying to like read more about it.

And like the Wells Fargo Guardian Guardian like is like complaints that she has to have like armed security because of like the Wendy

fans, you know, every like she's kind of like the villain in this story.

The Wendy fans like are extremely zealous.

Like it's a real community.

I just, I don't understand what's happening here and how like Wendy or her family, how they have a guardian placed on them who is in charge of their money and she doesn't have like access to it.

And even this lifetime honey, like, does it go into that pot?

Is it more for the guardian?

I also don't understand how

things went so bad so quickly with Wendy Williams.

I feel like she was on TV consistently for so long, and then she had some like personal issues with her husband and then her health, and then boom, she's fired.

Like, I feel like it all happened so quickly.

Yeah.

Also, her physical health isn't great.

In the documentary, she's like in a wheelchair and she's just struggling.

So, it's all very compounded.

And I guess the documentary will get to like the roots of each of these issues but it's been a very hard few years for her.

No, and I highly recommend the Lifetime movie that she produced about her life.

Wendy Williams is a hustler.

I feel like in like this day and age, she's like the butt of jokes, but like people don't realize like how major it was that she got her own daytime show.

She like started in radio.

She hustled so hard.

She was like all about gossiping freely on radio, like not giving a fuck.

She started in like the R B space.

She made a lot of enemies.

And

it's, she kind of has like an amazing story.

Now, the lifetime movie was like hella dramatized and like low-key really stupid, but I loved every minute of it.

And I feel like we need a serious Wendy biopic.

Like, she has a real story for real.

Like, she's been through a lot of stuff.

So I have a lot of sympathy and I love Wendy.

Like, I really do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And she's responsible for so many iconic, like, viral moments.

I would ask people to respect my privacy, but I don't do it with those hot topics.

That's the best video.

She's such a queen.

Like, remember when she literally fainted on air?

She's been through a lot.

She's been been through a lot.

So I don't even know what like peace looks like for her at this point.

You know, is it a return to TV?

Because that's like what she does and who she is.

But then on the other hand, it's like maybe she needs a break.

Totally unrelated, but do we have it as a story today that my lord and savior Darius Rucker was arrested?

Next up.

I'm devastado about this.

Next story.

Hootie and the blowfish front man.

Darius Rucker has been arrested for a minor drug offense in Tennessee.

Darius Rucker was arrested on Thursday in Williamson County, Tennessee, where he lives.

Page six can confirm the hoodie and the bloachfish front man was taken into custody and booked in three count, three misdemeanor charges, including two counts of simple possession slash casual exchange of a controlled substance and one count of a violation of the state's vehicle registration law.

Police accused Rucker of driving with an expired registration tack, according to TMZ.

He was released.

Is that arrest worthy?

Which I feel like everybody's registration is literally expired.

Well, in conjunction with these other.

Yeah, I don't know.

I feel like somebody has it out for Darius.

These sounds like such minor offenses.

Like, I'm really upset.

Like, I feel like Darius is a good guy.

Do you think it's a conspiracy against Darius?

I do.

Like, I actually

do.

It's a conspiracy rucker.

Conspirious wrecker.

Well, okay.

I looked it up.

Casual exchange of a controlled substance can mean like passing a joint to someone.

Totally.

That's what it sounds like.

Okay, let's break them down.

Casually exchange this controlled substance.

Three misdemeanors.

Two counts of simple possession.

Simple could be a joint in the pocket.

Right.

No.

And I feel like simple joints in the pocket for two counts.

Literally.

And I feel like simple means marijuana.

If it was anything other than that, whether like prescription pills or cocaine, like it would have been not simple.

It would have been complicated.

Oh, no.

I feel like prescription pills could be simple.

This is just like a feel, my feeling.

So I could be totally wrong.

I feel like prescription pills could be simple, but that wasn't even a good thing.

But I think prescription pills is like a higher level.

And I feel like cocaine could be simple.

No, there's nothing simple about cocaine.

It's a devil's drug.

I know, but I just feel like,

I feel like it could be simple possession if it's just like a little baggie.

No, no, I feel like they take cocaine like really seriously.

And then casual exchange of a controlled substance like passing the baggie.

I just feel like if I know anything about Hootie, it's that he's much more of a pot man.

Like I couldn't see Hootie doing blow, like railing lines.

I agree.

Let's look at the mugshot.

And it's unflattering.

It is not a good mugshot.

I feel like, again, this is a conspiracy against Hootie.

Like that angle, angle, every lighting, it's so bad.

Like, I feel like you can do a few things.

Like, I feel like they need to wipe the lens, you know?

Yeah.

Like on the back of the camera.

It's a bad photo.

It's not a good look for Hootie.

The thing about like country fans is they don't give a fuck.

Like, I don't think this will affect Hootie whatsoever.

No, I just up until now.

I feel like he does have a kind of sterling reputation.

But I did see a headline this morning.

I'm going to pull it up.

Like his ex-girlfriend is out here like talking about how this is karma for Hootie.

Ah.

So like, I don't like when people, you know, when they kick someone when they're down.

Yeah.

And I was, of course, worried when I saw this headline that he was obviously arrested for a DUI because that to me is.

Oh, that's unforgivable.

It's an unforgivable line crossing.

And I was worried because I was getting, you know, Sam Hunt flashbacks.

However,

so his ex just a little pop.

His ex is a comedian, and she posted on X saying, Yes, I've heard, all I can say is karma heart.

Ooh, what's her name?

And then she, uh, her name is Kate Quigley.

And then she also posted a selfie of her lounging in a blue bikini while sticking her tongue out.

And she said, mood when you hear your D-bag ex got arrested.

I stand with Darius.

He's a national treasure.

I'm sorry.

I only want to be with you.

Like, I only want to be with Darius.

Yeah.

I stand with Darius.

Darius is one of those people, like, it would take a lot for me to stop standing, you know?

Yeah, and as we've like proven, these are misdemeanor, simple charges.

Could have been kind of

conspirious.

It's conspiratorial.

Okay.

It's giving conspiratorial energy.

Yeah, but I do think just because he has such a pristine

reputation, like

it's not great.

I think he'll survive it.

Oh, big time.

And I think people will forget soon.

Like, remind, set a calendar alert for, like, in a year and see if we remember.

No, and like, low-key, we shouldn't have even made it a story because we're contributing.

Because, like, literally no one's talking about this because that's how much everyone just loves Hootie.

Like, we're looking past it.

Yeah, but it's a Friday and there, like, wasn't much else.

So, like, don't get arrested on a Thursday, guys.

Try for Sunday.

Oh, my God.

It's so important that if you're going to get arrested, that it be like towards the end of the week.

Yeah, on the weekend, buried.

Love.

Thursday?

Stories were sparse today.

Sorry, Darius.

But at the end of the day, it just depends on the story.

Like Erica Jane very

smartly dropping her divorce news during like one of the most heated elections of our time.

We still cared.

Like I'm sorry.

There was no undoing that.

Of course.

I actually, I think she intentionally dropped it on election day to kind of bury it.

But because there was no other news, because everyone was talking about the election, it was kind of the only news if you didn't want to talk about the election, which is us.

Which is so true, by the way.

Like, kind of backfired.

I can't believe there's like another election.

Seriously, I hate election season.

Don't, like, I can't.

Do you hate all election seasons, like all every year or just the president?

Just the president one, because I feel like there's not a lot of like hype for like midterms and stuff.

And like, low-key, every time I vote in like

a little like mayoral or whatever, I just feel like such a small town girl.

Like, I really do love it.

And it's like, it's just, it gives harmonious energy.

It does.

People become the worst versions of themselves.

Everyone I'm talking about during the election, the presidential election season, like do not talk to me.

Like, I really can't.

Yeah, but make sure you pack a snack.

And if it's raining, maybe an umbrella.

We absolutely have to repost that clip during election season.

The way influencers acted last, was it presidential?

No, that wasn't four years ago.

No, that was present.

Yeah.

I was sitting in this chair four years ago.

Four years?

No, because it was a remote clip.

2020, we were in that studio.

Law.

It wasn't a clip.

We didn't clip it.

It's just a press.

Yes, we did.

No, it's a clip.

It's a clip.

Okay.

I swear to God, it's a clip moment and it's remote.

And it must have just been a regular election where people, influencers, like we're creating graphics, like teaching people how to vote.

Like, bring a snack, grab an elderly neighbor.

Like, we know.

Yeah.

No, if it's raining, like, wear your rain boots and don't forget your windshield wipers to turn them on.

Pack a snack.

I can't.

Yeah.

Or like go to like, you know, how to find your

polling place.

As if like, it's not constantly every time you open up Facebook, Instagram, it's like pop up how to.

It's the same every year.

Oh, that too.

That too.

I've been voting at the same like school for a hundred years.

That too.

But I guess if you're a new voter, let's give them the benefit of the doubt.

Fair, fair.

If you're a new voter, like ask your parents.

It's like, where do your parents vote?

Right.

It's really not hard.

Also, if you're a new voter, low-key, like, I assume you're maybe in college, like, you can vote through your college.

You can?

Yeah, actually, low-key,

the first time I ever voted, I was in college, and like, they did it for you in your dorm.

Like, it was kind of like absentee energy because you're, obviously, you weren't home.

And it was also the year of Hurricane Sandy, and I got a letter in the mail, like, six months after the election that my cat, my ballot was never cast because of Sandy.

Interesting.

Conspirious.

I forget, I don't think it was, like, an important election year.

I don't remember what year it was.

Sandy was 2013.

2012.

I don't know.

All is that to say, my vote didn't cast.

2012.

So,

oh, no, that would have been a presidential election law.

I want to say it was 2013, actually, when I think about my college years.

When I think about where I was during Sandy, it was 2012.

You know what?

Sandy was so crazy.

A simple Google search.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I wasn't thinking about, hold on.

I think I was thinking about Hurricane Eileen.

No, Sandy was like really major.

Hurricane Sandy.

Oh, no.

2012.

I lived through Hurricane Sandy.

Like that's kind of like a fun fact about me.

I was in New York.

It was so crazy.

Yeah.

I wasn't really affected by it.

It was actually so crazy how like in parts of the city like people's cars were underwater.

Like downtown because the city is kind of on an incline.

And so 10 blocks up, like my lights flickered once.

That was the most like craziest thing that happened.

So I didn't really like live through Sandy.

Not to make everything about me.

But she'll try.

So I'm sending well wishes to Darius and just know like you're OG fans, like you're true fans.

We ride for you.

And we know this is not a reflection of who you are.

And we know that there's a conspiracy against you.

Are you ready for our next story?

A little more music news because Ariana Grande is tearing up as she previews vulnerable songs from her upcoming album, Eternal Sunshine.

So Ari posted to Instagram a video of her with like, I guess, some

what's the thing?

Label Big Wigs of her.

Like members of her team.

Yeah, I was getting like, this is for the label.

of her sampling her new album, like talking about the process of recording it and when she started and what the inspiration was.

But so she has a new album coming out in March.

She started recording right after the strike.

So this is like, you know, SpongeBob era songs.

Oh, wow.

SpongeBob era songs.

Because SpongeBob broke in the summer.

I think she started recording this in like September.

When does the album come out?

March.

I want to say, like, I do think she's a Universal Music Group

client.

I do think releasing an album while UMG and TikTok haven't worked things out will severely impact streams.

Like it's actually like a really big deal.

But they're not going to work things out.

No, I know.

And by the way, like all the stuff that's going to be.

People have to still release music.

I got notified yesterday, like all my TikToks with the music is no longer.

Have been removed.

They're like silent.

They're like, you want to switch it up to like some

public domain song?

I'm like, no, I'm okay.

But they're not going to reach an agreement.

So there's never a good time to release the album.

So it is what it is.

No, and Universal Music Group is quite literally everyone, except for me.

So Stream, Toast, and 100% by Claudia.

This could be a good opportunity for you.

Time to support indie artists.

Straight up.

Straight up.

Well,

this is, you know, exciting.

I feel like it will be a good window into how she's feeling about what's happened in her life in the last six months and public perception and all of that.

By the way, is Ariana Grande the Justin Timberlake of girls?

No.

Okay.

Ariana Grande, I'd have to think.

I have to think.

Like, yes, and is giving, I owe an apology to nobody, Cry Miriver.

Just saying.

It's a thought starter.

I'm not saying for sure.

It's a little bit more energy of, like, I'm going to do me.

Right.

Even if me is bad.

But the things that Justin has to answer for

versus Ari are not really comparable.

Yeah, no, that's fair.

That's so fair.

Yeah.

Okay, so would you say that like Ari is a small-scale JT or we're just hating the comparison altogether?

The comparison's not analogous for me.

I understand what

you're saying, but it just doesn't feel apples to apples.

Fine, fair.

I'll drop it.

I'll shut up.

I've silenced her.

I'll just leave.

I've silenced her.

I'll just leave it leave.

How about that?

Okay, do it.

What about just go?

Do it.

Our first walk-off?

Can't be over this.

Can't be over this.

Also, I say that every time I walk off.

Our first walk-off.

She's literally never gotten up.

That's that's cause for leaving.

Bye-bye.

So, are you guys ready for our next story?

Let's just jump right in.

Oh, she's still wearing her headphone.

She can hear me.

I wanted to catch her in the middle.

She's back.

Do you have anything to say?

Do you have anything to say?

Welcome back.

Turdy.

I'm sorry.

For

disrespecting you.

How?

By saying you didn't get up.

By literally insinuating that I should like kill myself.

I'm sorry for saying that you didn't get up.

You proved me wrong that you got up.

So.

Yeah, yeah, because I don't know about you, but I did run for four minutes straight, so I can't get up now.

Classic.

Before we dive in, I have something to say.

Okay.

Today's episode is brought to you by Manscaped.

Getting ready for Valentine's Day and don't know what to give the gift, gift the git, don't know what gift to give the man in your life?

No worries.

Manscaped is here to save your love story with the all-new performance package 5.0.

Snag 20% off and free shipping with code toast at checkout.

It is the ultimate gift to elevate his grooming game and keep the romance alive all year round.

So let's zero in on the hero of Valentine's Day.

The Performance Package 5.0 is basically just a kit of grooming essentials that the man in your life needs.

The most important thing I think in the kit is the Lawn Mower 5.0.

It's an electric chimmer.

It features skin save technology.

It'll guard his sensitive areas from any grooming mishaps.

Also comes with an LED spotlight, which is super bright.

The package also features the Weed Whacker nose hair trimmer, manscaped liquid formulations, two free goodies, the shed travel bag and the boxers.

Comfort is king.

Get Get 20% off free shipping, codetoast at manscaped.com.

It's a gift for you, but it's a gift for your man.

Also, getting your man something that gives him a pouch.

Men don't have pouches like girls do, and men need one good pouch.

And I will say, the one from the performance package is fabulous.

Ben uses it all the time, and it is like his go-to travel.

Like, I have a thousand pouches, but Ben has one, and that's really all he needs.

So, 20% off in free shipping with codetoast at manscaped.com.

That's 20% off with free shipping at manescaped.com.

Use code toast, T-O-A-S-T.

Here's to Keeping the Romance Alive, one smooth move at a time.

Today's episode is also brought to you by the new Lionsgate movie Scrambled that we've been talking about all week.

That I'm so excited for you guys to see because it comes out February 2nd.

And today, hey, Jax, what day is it?

February 2nd.

Grandhawks Day.

Oh, we have to talk about that.

We have to talk about that.

Scrambled is in theaters now.

So Scrambled is a heartfelt yet hilarious journey of self-discovery and self-love.

It's written, directed, and starring Leah McKendrick, who is, quote, among

Indie Wire's

top female filmmakers to watch this year.

So the plot of the movie is really just like a relatable moment for, I think, a lot of the toasters.

Quintessential eternal bridesmaid Nellie Robinson, who's of course played by Leah McKendrick, is constantly finding herself between weddings, baby showers, and bad dates.

When she begins to feel like the clock is ticking and is faced with bleak romantic prospects, Nellie decides to freeze her eggs.

Scrambled,

setting her on an empowering journey to a brave new world, where she ultimately discovers that the one she's looking for, you guessed it, might just be herself.

So, Film Threat says this is brilliant storytelling.

You can learn more about the movie.

Watch the trailer at lionsgate.com/slash movies/slash scrambled.

The movie is out today.

It is rated R.

It is in theaters now.

So, check it out.

I feel like this weekend is raining in New York.

It's such a movie weekend.

Go to the theater, get a snack, a soda, treat yourself, and go see Scrambled.

Just a heartfelt,

a movie for for the girls, you know?

Yeah.

The trailer will make you cry.

I love the actor who plays the brother.

Go check it out.

The movie's called Scrambled.

In theaters now, it is rated R.

Get yourself a ticket and enjoy your weekend.

Is there anything better than popcorn and soda?

No.

Yes.

Pretzels and soda.

No.

French fries and soda.

Go back.

Popcorn and.

Like chocolates thrown in.

Goldfish?

Yeah.

M ⁇ M's.

A party mix.

Yeah, but specifically popcorn and like really salty buttery popcorn hot that you throw the m's in the m's get really soft yeah that's good i know what i'm gonna say like you're gonna yuck my yums so like can you just try to stop yourself want to put like dried cranberries in there raisinettes

oh dried cranberries literally same thing i love raisinettes i haven't had them in forever

you walk off because you're sick you walk off yucking yums disgusting yeah raisinettes amongst other things but by the way bunch of Crunch, Loki, very good.

Bunch of Crunch is only sold at movie theaters.

Same with Dibs.

Dibs.

We have this conversation like once a year.

I'm having deja vu.

We need to talk about Groundhog's Day because Puxutani Phil like knew that he was up on the chopping block and Homeboy did not see his shadow.

Spring is coming soon.

Honestly, like I know it means nothing.

Like it has no bearing on the climate, on Mother Nature, on the environment.

But when I saw that news this morning, like I perked the fuck up.

And PETA wants to take that away from us.

And that's why they're discussing it.

Yeah.

And Punxatani, like, he doesn't give us that early spring often because

often

so that when he does,

it means something.

But he also knew he needed to give the people something so that we continue to ride for him.

No, and it's nice, like, okay, Pungsatani Phil literally worked half a day and he doesn't have to do it again for another year.

Like, if that's not living in the lap of luxury, I don't know what is.

No, apparently, his digs are luck.

I am sure.

What is it?

I feel like he lives at like the Gracie Mansion.

Yeah, and they probably have like a whole little caretaking team.

Yeah.

I'm happy for Phil.

Phil stays winning.

No, that I am.

Speaking of, do we have a story about Demi Lovato today?

Oh shit, but I meant, you know what?

I'm going to make that the fifth because I meant it's funny.

It's so funny.

It's funny.

But our next story is a lovely story about Jason Kelsey, who is playing in the Pro Bowl this weekend only so he can take his kids to Disney.

Relatable.

This was cute.

Jason Kelsey says says traveling for the Pro Bowl means a Disney trip for his kids.

So he is in Orlando to compete in the Pro Bowl this weekend.

While there's football on the horizon, there's also family time for the girl dad of three who plans on taking his daughters to Walt Disney World.

He said, I don't even know what you do in the Pro Bowl anymore, but it's down in Orlando, so I get to take my kids to Walt Disney.

Not off the Super Bowl Walt Disney World, but as long as Wyatt gets to see Elsa, I don't think it really matters.

Yeah, like it's that classic thing when you win the Super Bowl.

What are you going to do next?

I'm going to Disney World.

I literally never understood why the fuck they say that.

I don't know.

Now that I've been to Disney, I kind of understand.

No, for sure.

And I think they do go to Disney.

Like as a team?

What's the correlation?

I don't know.

Can you look it up?

I feel like as football girlies, like we need to know.

Yeah, yeah.

Why Super Bowl?

And I think it's cute.

I think it's cool, actually, that Jason Kelsey, like, never plays in the Pro Bowl.

He is this year only because his kids want to go to Orlando.

It's so cute and sweet.

And like, they don't know the difference that like, you know, daddy lost, so we're going to Disney versus Daddy won.

So we're going to Disney Disney Disney.

Right, it's Disney.

Same thing.

But what is the correlation?

And I feel like, is the Super Bowl even on ABC?

Like ABC is owned by Disney.

That I would understand.

I feel like the Super Bowl is like on CBS.

So it all started when Michael Eisner.

Or it's just a tradition, which is nice.

Like there's no monetary.

It all started when Michael Eisner, CEO of Disney and his wife, dined with...

A couple of aviators who traveled the world nine stop.

The wife asked the pilots what they would do next and they replied, we're going to Disney World.

Okay, what does that have to do with the Super Bowl?

Right, how is that applicable here?

Like, I know it's just a thing people say.

That's where the idea of promoting it for the Super Bowl came from.

Walt Disney met with NFL organizers, and they reached an agreement for the most valuable player to say the phrase after the game.

Oh, wow, this is like a coordinated attack.

But is it like a verbal contract?

The first one.

Like, and now that's just a tradition, or do they legally have to?

I imagine it's one of those things that, like, you always dream of saying.

The first player to say he would visit the famous park and star in the company's commercials was Phil Sims, who won in 1987 with the Giants.

According to reports, the MVP earns between $30,000 and $50,000 just for saying the iconic phrase.

So I guess if you win and you say it, you get paid.

And if you don't, you don't.

I feel like they always say it.

It's one of those things.

Like, if you want to be a football star, it's like your biggest dream is to say it.

But $30,000 to $50,000, when's that article from?

Because I feel like with inflation, like it should be $250,000.

2023.

And by the way, I did did read, I wanted to talk to you about this, that a lot of the players playing in the Super Bowl this weekend have like incentive-based bonuses in their contract.

If they, A, make it to the Super Bowl, if they win the Super Bowl.

So I think I read Patrick Mahomes will make like another million dollars just for getting to the Super Bowl.

Prock Purdy has a,

it's not a lot of money, but he'll make like a nice little bonus, like six figures, low six figures.

So there are like, you know, merit-based bonuses packed into these NFL salaries.

That I'm glad to hear, though I do think Rock should kind of make up the difference of the fact that he's not making Super Bowl money.

Yeah, no, for sure.

But anyways, I hope that the Kelsey family has a blast this weekend

at Walt Disney.

I'm looking at a picture of them from the last time they went to Disney, and it looks like,

no, I was going to say, it looks like they have that double stroller that Olivia has that I hate, but this one looks a little different.

They would never.

They were clowning on Olivia's stroller in the Patreon episode.

You guys are so mean.

No, like me and Shaviro, she needs a new double stroller why like doesn't the wheels don't work it's literally about to oh the kids are like sardines it's just a piece of crap by the way like get her one like stop complaining obviously it bothers you more than it bothers her

so go get her one

that's true put my money where my mouth go to target yeah no there's one i have in mind she's the one pushing it's one i have in mind for her She's literally the one pushing it and she doesn't appear to be complaining.

I know, but I just feel like

she's become stubborn about it.

She's like trying to prove something to me that like this stroller works and prove to her husband

by the way that's so something i love classic like suffer in silence just for the point yeah totally now are you ready for our fifth and final story i am demi lovato performs her song heart attack for heart attack survivors demi lovato performed her song heart attack for a room full of heart attack survivors and some audience members were not impressed

Demi was the headliner at the American Heart Association's Go Red for Women Red Dress Collection concert.

That's a mouthful.

On Wednesday in New York City, where she sang some of her biggest hits, including Sorry, Not Sorry, Cool for the Summer, Confident, Skyscraper, Heart Attack.

According to an eyewitness, it was her choice of the song Heart Attack that raised a few eyebrows.

They said, quote, she was belting heart attack in front of the class of 2024, who were all survivors of heart attacks.

There was a video package played before the fashion show and concert where the women all shared their brushes with death via heart attack, how they were all saved during a heart attack.

One has a pacemaker for the rest of her life.

Demi was smiling the entire performance.

Oh my God.

Demi was smiling the entire performance and it was really tone deaf.

Says I just want to say, eyewitness.

I wasn't there.

So I can't really, like, really read the room of the tone.

Like, I don't know how it went down.

But like, this might be the most iconic thing Demi Lovato's ever done.

It's peak comedy.

It's so funny.

And like, low-key, you survived a heart attack.

Like, lighten up.

Like, this is funny.

It is.

That's funny.

I mean, I also feel like if I were Demi Lovato, maybe, oh, I'm performing for the Heart Association.

Of course.

Perfect.

I have a song called Just About This Thing.

And it's like one of my most popular songs.

Yeah.

I feel like maybe.

Read the lyrics.

Read the lyrics.

I was literally about to pull them up.

I feel like maybe she was even asked to perform because she has a song about the subject matter.

Yeah, of course.

Putting my defenses up because I don't want to fall in love with

love.

Just to speak it.

If I ever did that, it's going to be hard, but I'll try.

I think I'd have a heart attack.

Okay, yeah, I guess if she fell in love, she would have a heart attack is kind of the moral of the story.

I guess the hard part of the song is right after this chorus, she probably says the phrase heart attack like 10 times.

Heart attack, like she keeps

drilling in the point.

The last five lines.

If I ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack.

I think I'd have a heart attack, heart attack i think i'd have a heart attack attack i think i'd have a heart attack

oh

oh i think i'd have a heart attack oh i think i'd have a heart attack wait i'm just want to say one two three four five six seven eight As she ends the song, she says, I think I'd have a heart attack eight times.

And perhaps that's where some of the outrage has stemmed from.

And that I definitely do understand.

Now,

I feel like all heart attack survivors are different.

So I think maybe like some of them thought this was funny and some of them thought this was insensitive.

Because like Loki, I don't know how I would act if I had a heart attack, but I think it would be, I would find it funny.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that it would kind of be ruder for her to not sing heart attack.

It would have been like, oh, the elephant in the room.

She has a song.

No, you guys can't handle the song.

Right.

I think she was giving them a lot of credit.

Too much credit, clearly.

No, they're like a strong group of survivors.

I think she thought that they, like, they've been through worse.

Yeah.

I also love how the article is like an eyewitness as if this was like a catastrophe.

It was.

I'm obsessed with this

on the ground.

Seriously?

There are certain moments in history that I like would do anything to have witnessed firsthand.

And like, I don't even think a video of this would suffice.

Like I needed to feel the energy in this room.

But to me, this is 10 points in Demetrius' column.

And don't come for me.

My father died of a heart attack.

You can eat it.

Oh, yeah.

So we can say what...

I feel like we needed to clarify that.

That like...

Oh, yeah.

Like, we have been touched.

Our opinions like matter here.

And we think that.

The American Heart Association.

The American Heart Association failed our father.

Like we.

Right.

Can say.

We can say.

This is funny.

This is hysterical.

And I do feel like.

Right now they'll probably try and like distance themselves from it, but I feel like someone on the committee was like, we should have Demi perform.

She has a song about this very thing.

It's

like breathtakingly synergetic.

I love every minute of it.

Yeah.

The end.

Oh, and it's a bop, too.

Right.

Pop that pussy.

You survived a heart attack.

It's a great song.

And look at Demi donating her time to a cause that might have like an important.

I'm sure she was paid handsomely.

Really?

I feel like these things you do for free.

Wow.

These associations have so much money.

I know, but shouldn't that money go to like, I don't know, finding a cure for heart attacks?

No, it's like they go to getting Demi Lovato so that more people buy tickets so that they can raise more money.

Yeah, but like imagine if Demi just donated her time.

I don't think that's how it works.

I don't know if, I don't know.

I don't know either, but also, this is also great PR for the American Heart Association because I didn't know that they had a

soiree this month.

No, I know that they have their walk.

They love their walk.

Walking is good for the heart.

So is laughing.

So is singing.

Jackie, walking is good for the toast and so is laughing.

So sit down and listen to the toast.

So is singing and dancing to a great song such as heart attack.

Such as.

So those are the fast.

The good news is that while the stories may be over, the show is not because we have our new segment that we have not forgotten today, Friday, where we kind of wrap up the week by bestowing two prestigious honors upon four different people.

Jackie and I both are going to nominate someone who acted in a weenie-like manner this week, and we are going to give them the award of the weenie of the week.

And we're going to give an award to the Queenie of the Week, someone who we thought showed great

fortitude

against all odds.

So I think let's start with Queenie.

I'm feeling motivated to nominate Temi Lovato.

Oh, I love for Queenie.

Queenie for her brilliant choice of song.

No, this kind of was like like how a queen would act.

I love that.

I completely agree.

And I'm feeling motivated to nominate the weenies as the eyewitnesses in attendance who couldn't dance along.

I love that.

I'm feeling motivated for that.

It's giving like weenie energy.

Like, come on.

I completely agree.

It's actually giving the definition of like weenie.

That's why we see it.

Yeah, because I was going to do a different weenie, but like...

Weenie is not meant to be, you know, a malek.

So serious.

So serious.

It's just like weenies.

You did something a little weenie.

And I don't want like other weenies to like then feel like, oh my God, I was in the category with this person.

Like it's so.

It's not a title.

I feel like a lot of Ken.

It's not something you should wear forever.

It's just for the week.

It's a moment in time.

Yeah.

And next week, like you could even be weenie one week and queenie the next.

For sure.

My queenie this week is Margot Robbie.

Like I think the way she responded to the snub, like she could have really dug in her heels and been such a victim.

And I actually would have put her in weenie.

But the fact that she was like, listen, other women were nominated.

It's all good.

Everyone seriously calm down.

Love and respect.

Love and respect to that statement.

Why aren't you saying anything?

You just like love dipping into the Barbie.

I do.

I love starting stuff.

You love starting stuff.

Like, here you are being one of those people that's like, Barbie, Margot Robbie's a queen for the way she handled.

Oh my God, you think I'm acting like a Barbie stand?

You're like kind of obsessed.

No, I mean, Jackie, like, think about how far-reaching the oscar snub story went like hillary clinton statement and margarita robbie could have been like such a fucking loser about it and she wasn't yeah sorry she deserves credit yeah but she wouldn't have been even if you know she's has daggers at the hfpa up on her wall like she knows that that's that's not the way that you act

right so that's queen behavior agreed

Now, my weenie is someone I really wish I did last week.

And I thought about this person all week.

Okay.

It's Jessica Beale.

For weenie.

For weenie.

That eating in the shower thing, like the more I think about it, like it's fucking, it's literally the definition of weenie.

It's so illusory.

I feel like honestly, like it requires no further.

No, it does.

And I can't even look at a yogurt without thinking.

I can't, I, really, I can't think of, look at a Clementine.

I can't look at the shower.

Yeah.

Without thinking, shall I have a snack?

Yeah, no, no, there will be no further explanation.

Like, Jessica Beal is my weenie of the week.

I thought about it all weekend.

I was so mad at myself for not choosing her last week when we talked about it in the episode on Friday, but it needed to marinate.

Yeah.

So, with that, we will bid you adieu.

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

I hope you have a great weekend.

I do too.

I will.

Good.

You should.

Good.

Because it's the one you got.

It's your weekend.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the toast.

Jackie and I are both like coughing, sneezing, sniffling.

I'm not even doing the wrap-up.

Goodbye.

Love you.

Bye.