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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Toast and Happy Monday.

Hope everybody had a great weekend.

Jax, or should I say, Miska.

Miska, if you're listening to these episodes in succession, I left you on a cliffhanger on Friday.

What am I doing?

If you're not listening to these episodes in succession, what are you doing?

Oh, of course, but maybe someone listened on Friday, waited two days in Monday, but maybe some people saved Friday's episode and they're going right into Monday, which is how I like to consume content sometimes.

I don't have to end on a cliffhanger.

This weekend, I went to Disney World in Orlando, Florida, with my family, Olivia, and her family.

It was the trip of a lifetime.

Now,

to be clear, let's just clear up some rumors before they get started.

Okay.

You went with your children.

You were not Disney adulting around the park.

I mean, I know, you know, you know, the consequences of what you do, you never know what's going to happen.

It did turn out that our eldest sister, Olivia, actually is a Disney adult.

She became a Disney adult.

She didn't know either.

Kind of took over.

The spirit of the Disney adult took over for Troud Skin.

But yes, we took our families.

We weren't just like adults picking up and deciding to go to Disney.

It was for the kids.

They love a lot of the Disney characters, and we felt that they would really get a lot if we did it and we went.

Of course, of course.

So I had said on the show a few weeks ago that, like, Disney was in our future this season, and we

made it happen.

And how do you feel now?

You got home last night.

I got home last night.

I feel broken physically, mentally, everything.

I feel accomplished.

Of course, of course.

I feel happy.

Oh, she feels happy.

I feel full of memories and good times and food because the thing about Disney, it's like you're either starving or you're about to puke because the only food that you can get there is just so

gluttonous.

Right, like they don't sell salads.

They actually do sell salads, but you can't customize no dressing.

Oh, not very accommodating Disney parks.

No, that was one of my thoughts or critiques about the park.

Like there really isn't healthy food.

And it's just like, why?

You have literally everything there.

It's not like there's no expense spared at the Diz.

Yeah, at the Diz.

Okay, so I know you did the fireworks show.

I know you did the Mickey parade.

You were limited, of course, in what rides you could do because, you know, with small kids, but highlights, low lights, best part, worst part.

So the highlights for me were the things that the kids enjoyed most.

And I guess surprisingly, what the kids enjoyed most was like the shows, the parade, just like seeing the characters.

Mickey and his friends like come on stage at the castle at Magic Kingdom,

like once an hour, once every two hours.

And they do this little like dancing show.

And Harry, that was his, the best thing that he saw.

And like, that wasn't even on our schedule.

We just happened to be walking by and saw it.

So, for kids their age, like, really, the parade was amazing.

Um, there was actually another parade that we saw.

There was Mickey's Philharmagic, which was a little like magic show

type of thing.

Really, really cute.

So, the things where they could like see the characters they love the best, the rides,

a lot of waiting, a little payoff.

Yeah.

Well, I remember going as a child, and I remember meeting the characters whom I, of course, had come to know and love on my television screen and actually being like freaked out and like not excited, but scared.

But they're like enormous compared to you.

And I just remember being like scared of them.

They weren't scared, but they were definitely, you would never know that, like, Harry is obsessed with Mickey.

He was playing it super cool.

Like, oh, hi, Mickey.

You want to hug my mom?

By the way, I have a memory of meeting the Lion King character.

I think, who was it?

Maybe Rafiki?

And like hysterically crying.

Yeah, it could be overwhelming.

Then we stumbled.

We were at Epcot

on Sunday and we were just like walking in this area and they were like, are you here for Daisy?

And I was like, no, we're just taking pictures.

And then I'm like, oh, my gosh, it's Daisy Duck.

Like Donald's Daisy.

Oh, Daffy's.

Wait.

Donald's wife, Daisy.

And who's Daffy Duck?

She's from Looney Tunes.

Oh, she's not affiliated with this family?

Okay, my bad.

My bad.

So we're like, oh, shit, like Daisy.

And we're at the front of the line.

So we like we're like okay yeah we'll meet daisy the kids love the ducks and then they come out she's like running late they're like daisy's running a little late and we're like okay daisy's a diva they're like daisy's having a fashion emergency she won't be here for an hour and a half

where the fuck was daisy

wait what's the tea she was drunk she was hungover daisy was drunk

drinking on the job and up until that point i was gonna say like the park runs so like a well-oiled machine smoothly, so amazing.

It's incredible the amount of people that go through the park every single day or every single year.

Like

for the volume, there's really not that much charge and not that much waiting.

And like the lines for security, like they move.

Everything moves.

It's not.

I love that.

It's not so painful.

And everything was so on time.

Even you do like the genie app and the lightning lines and everything really moves.

And that was the first hiccup we had because like I need to know.

what was going on with Daisy.

Like I just need to know.

Now let me ask you a question.

Now, a lot of adults who go to Disney, not Disney adults, adults who go to Disney with their children really marvel at the

drinks.

Like, apparently, Disney's really known for its cocktails, but you were with your kids.

And I know you don't really drink, but like, did anybody have a cocktail?

The first night, Olivia, I'm putting together like a little reel from the trip.

So you'll be like, And you guys, by the way, you guys are going to record a podcast, right?

We are going to record a podcast because we have so many funny stories from the trip.

So it'll just be fun to like rehash it.

And then also we'll take some questions if you want tips for going to Disney because Olivia is officially a Disney expert.

She could be a Disney tour guide.

She studied.

She was giving us all these like fun facts about Disney, about the history, like why Epcot is called Epcot.

Why is it called Epcot?

It stands for like experiential places, countries.

Like it's, it stands for something.

It was meant to be like something, a futuristic vision of the world.

Cute.

And obviously when we're now living in the future, I mean, it doesn't really look like that, but Epcot was not what I expected.

It was like kind of giving Zen garden.

No, the best thing to come out of your trip to Disney is like this inside family joke that Olivia is a Disney adult.

No, and like we were.

Olivia, by the way, it's worth mentioning because I don't want to disgrace her name.

Like, Olivia would absolutely never go to Disney, like by choice, without her kids.

Up until this weekend.

No, no, no, I'm saying in her own.

And she never had.

Oh.

Like, no, I don't think she would go again, like, without her kids.

Well, no, she would bring her kids because it's like, what are they doing?

What would she be doing without?

But like, if something, if for some reason she had to go to Disney without her kids and like adults, I think she would love it.

Oh, wow.

That's a heinous accusation.

Yeah, no, I'll have her respond to these charges, but it was funny because she was doing all the like lightning lanes and the genie.

And the first ride that we did of our trip was this Peter Pan ride, which they said is like the best for kids of all ages.

And the line was really long.

And we were like, and this was the first thing we were doing.

And it kind of set like a bad precedent.

We're like, this is supposed to be a lightning lane.

And throughout the weekend, we were like, yeah, but Peter Pan line was long.

And she was like, that's not how the genie app is supposed to work.

When it works right, it will not be like that.

And Shapiro was like, did you work on the team that built the genie app?

Like, she was so defensive of genie.

I just want to say, I have absolutely no FOMO from like you guys going to Disneyland, but I can imagine how much you guys were just like poking fun at one another and laughing so hard.

I'm like, that gives me FOMO.

It's laughing so hard.

And we came away with the conclusion that Olivia and my husband actually really thrived at Disney.

Like, I see brought out the best in them, they

took it all on gracefully,

positively.

Yeah,

Conversely, Shapiro and I.

No, I could see Disney bringing out low worst in Shapiro.

We are not of the Disney elk.

Shapiro and I were not of the Disney elk.

Ugh, I would have loved to have watched like a reality show episode of You Guys the Disney.

Like, so funny.

Well, that will be when Olivia and I podcast, we will share all the highs and lows, but it really, it's the most magical place on earth.

But what's so funny is like you go from the highest of highs, like just watching your child, like

it's magical it's really truly magical to then like the lowest of lows like brink of divorce

no that's so relatable not letting your child see see this low point

yeah yeah yeah

and i just want to say that belly laugh that every funny every family that's walking around there like every parent who's it's a universal experience yeah no and i just want like the parents who are there taking their children, like you are amazing, parents, like you're amazing.

And by the way, if you don't take your kids to Disney, you're also amazing.

Hey, calm down.

Um,

it's just like

you could go, yeah, you're being so funny today,

you could go to Disney and like just sit and watch people.

Yeah, like I didn't have the time to watch people because I have to watch my own children, but like a solo traveler could just go and watch people.

It would be like an anthropological experience to watch these couples breaking down in real time

totally so come on

like no you should go and also what it was reminding me of a little bit like with the outfits and everything like these three date tariff tour no it was like adult a family version of coachella it's like what are the outfits gonna be okay i'm gonna wear my best outfit on saturday the full day well i do want to say you guys planned inadvertently to go at an amazing time where you're experiencing a cold front in Florida.

I'm like, I saw you guys wearing hoodies.

Yeah, no, the kids were wearing gloves bundled up in

blankets.

I guess it's not great for the kids, but like

adults.

Imagine if you had to do all of that in like shorts and 90-degree weather.

No, no, no.

But what's so weird is that the weekend we went was, they say, one of the least busy weekends of the year, but I don't know why people wouldn't want to go in the cold.

Duh.

So the mornings, it would be like less than 50 there.

So the kids wore jackets, but then it warmed up over the course of the day.

So the jackets come off and it was like beautiful, beautiful weather.

But like Friday night, i was like okay i'll go in my like athleisure look like you know not trying too hard then saturday balls to the walls like it's really the way i was planning outfits

it felt like coachelle okay harry wear his best fit on saturday when we're doing like you know mickey's headlining yeah and then sunday casual heading home you know not trying too hard chill yeah yeah that is so funny i'm so glad you made it out alive i'm so glad everybody had a good time i'm so glad that we did it and now that we know what we're doing a lot of mistakes were made by me and my What would you say is your biggest?

And I don't want to spoil the Patreon because you guys are going to do a whole podcast episode.

But what would you say is your biggest mistake?

Like, if you could part some wisdom to the future parents going?

The mistakes that I made, I don't think other people, like I made, we made some really dumb moves, Zach and I.

Like just.

Are you going to share them?

We'll talk about them on the episode because it's just like, but not even in planning, like in driving.

Like we were just being stupid a little bit, honestly.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Well, if you can own it.

Yeah.

No, we were being stupid because like we we were blindly following Olivia and like she's not a mind reader and she couldn't predict how stupid we were going to be.

Okay.

Yeah.

So you'll get all the drama on the Patreon, but no, no regrets.

Just even being there, like walking down the street, it's magical.

Yeah.

No, I get it.

And especially you, you see it through your kids' eyes.

Yeah.

And

I started a little list on my phone of like lessons of things that I would do differently next time aside from like the dumb human errors that I made like packing a lunch for the kids because the thing is, like, it's so hard to get food there.

And when you decide you want to eat, like, then it's still another like 30, 40 minutes until you get your food.

And like, they can't wait that long.

So it would just be nice to like have had also like healthy, balanced meals for them and just like in a little bento lunchbox, like nothing crazy like a sandwich, so that they could eat whenever they were hungry and we could carry on.

It wouldn't just be like, oh my God, the kids are falling apart and we can't get food.

No, and like the whole day stops.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I get that.

So a lot of lessons.

And I think Olivia and I will put our our heads together on the Patreon and like come up with another list.

And I have a note on my phone so that next time, like, I don't have to remember and it'll be just there.

Maybe we'll become like Disney annual pass holders.

I was going to say, as Florida residents, what do you think with children?

What do you think is like an appropriate amount of times per year to go to Disney?

I don't know.

I'd have to ask the class, but like maybe for us, because like for other people, maybe more.

Maybe for us, like twice.

It depends.

I'll talk to Trout, but Florida residents do get discounted passes.

I heard.

I guess because our tax money might in some way go towards Disney because it's like a tourist.

Yeah, and it has special perks in the state of Florida.

It's actually very cool that Disney itself, it feels like its own city, which by the way.

The last time I went, which was one of the worst experiences of my life, I thought the same thing.

Whoever runs Disney should be the mayor or the president because it runs smoothly.

I didn't see any crime.

The streets were clean.

The clocks were on time.

Like really, really a well-run city.

But Olivia was telling us that it's one of the only non-government, non-space

spaces where there's a no-fly zone overhead.

You can't fly airplanes over Disney.

Wait, that's like so crazy.

A lot of interesting factoids about Disney.

I'm going to have to listen to this podcast with you and Olivia.

No, it's going to be hysterical.

And we'll just like go through every moment.

I'm sending in our family chat.

She said this like bedroom.

Obviously, it's like a, it literally looked like AI.

Like make me a bedroom for for a kid who's obsessed with Mickey Mouse, it's like the bed is Mickey every, and it's like Olivia's new bedroom.

It's so funny.

It's my favorite running joke in the family.

And we could not have had more different weekends.

No, we could not have.

What did you do, Turtle?

Deathly ill.

From the last podcast you guys heard Friday morning, I was like getting a little sick.

Oh my God, the whole weekend, miserable.

I haven't left my house since Thursday.

How do you feel now?

Not great.

You look good.

I sound good.

No, I am definitely sick,

but I got tested.

It's nothing like, you know, contagious.

So I got to work.

Yeah.

I got to work.

Don't you miss the days where you're like,

I'm sick.

And everyone's like, stay home.

Don't

work.

But it also made me think, like, remember when you used to get sick during the weekends, like as a kid, and there was nothing worse on the planet?

Like, my God, I couldn't have gotten sick during the week.

Now I have to miss my whole weekend.

That's how I felt.

Yeah.

Now for us, it's like a holiday falling on a weekend.

Yes, exactly.

But, and I know we're going to talk because I'm sure the stories are about football.

I watched every minute of football this weekend.

And something I really did want to talk about is me and Ben have started the OC.

And we're pretty deep into it now.

I'd say we're like 10 or 11 episodes into it.

And I have an extremely hot take.

It's not good.

It's not hitting for me the way like Gossip Girl did.

I feel like it's kind of a bad show with, you know, a lot of redeeming qualities,

Sandy Kenyon.

I mean, Sandy Cohen.

How far along are you?

So Ryan's living permanently with them.

He's been with them for like a while.

It's like, I would say I'm the middle of season one because I know the seasons are really long.

I would say it takes a while for it to become really addicting and really good.

Like the dialogue gets better, the characters get better.

But I have to say, Ben is obsessed.

Like as somebody who's watching it the first time, he literally, when I went, I asked to turn on the football game, he was like so mad.

He is obsessed.

And I know when we go back and watch old shows, we're always like, oh, you know, the main character is the worst.

I feel like a lot of people experience that with Serena and Gossip Girl.

I experienced that with Susan Meyer.

You experienced that with Marissa.

Okay, that's what my.

Marissa might be worse than Serena.

For sure.

Why does nobody talk about the woatiest woat of all, Ryan?

Oh my God, I fucking hate Ryan.

You would hate Ryan.

Oh, my God.

And everything he does gives me the ick.

Like, ugh, oh, my God.

I think he's disgusting.

Like, I.

Jaggie, I hate this man.

Him and Marissa, perfect.

Perfection for each other.

The most

annoying people.

No, it's like his whole life.

He gets a chance at a new life.

It's time.

The summer's over.

They're sending him to school.

He obviously just can't go to this school.

He has to take, it's a very

prestigious school.

He takes a placement, placement school, placement exam.

While he's taking the placement exam, Summer and Seth are like, Ryan, we need you.

We need to break Marissa out of the hospital.

She's upset.

Her parents are getting divorced and they want to send her to a facility.

Like, we have to break her out.

Oh, yeah, let me throw my whole future away for this girl I haven't even kissed yet.

I can't.

So dumb.

So,

so dumb.

No, they're a perfect couple because she's like a moron.

Like, and he has a savior complex.

So he keeps saving this moron who keeps getting into dumb situations.

Okay, in the episode we watched last night, I got the biggest ick from Ryan when

he tried out for the soccer team

and he he put on this like soccer outfit.

He was like, there's something wrong with it.

He was just wearing like really, really long shorts like below his knee and like this gray t-shirt.

And he was running just like such a freak.

And I was like, ugh, like, I just, I hate, hate, and honestly, love Luke so hot.

Love Luke.

Yeah, like, he cheated on her or whatever.

And I know he gets worse, but like, love.

Yeah.

No, but he gets better.

Oh, oh, okay.

Yeah, he, like, he becomes one of the guys.

And it's really killing me to like not have to scream things out at Ben because like I know the big things of what happens in the show, but I don't know like the little plot twists of how we get there.

Yeah.

But like I just want to say, like, I'm just dying to tell Ben.

Are you loving though, Sandy again, Summer again, Seth again?

Okay.

I'm so glad you brought that up.

Best characters in the show are the Jewish ones.

Sorry.

And that's because the creator of the show, who also created Gossip Girl, is Jewish.

Josh Schwartz.

That's why there was so much Judaism in Gossip Girl, like nobody even noticed.

Sandy and Adam, Adam, what's his, Seth, are the best characters, hands down.

And it's because they're Jewish, I'm telling you.

Now,

Summer is a fucking bitch.

And I know she gets better when she finally falls in love with Seth and they become a couple, yada, yada.

But she's so awful, like really awful.

I don't know how I'm going to like her.

She's evil.

You will.

She's crazy how you can.

She's the Chuck Bass.

She is the Chuck Bass.

It's crazy how a show can like make you

like someone, like someone who you wish would get killed off eventually or like oh, they're okay like Adam Carrington on Dynasty.

Right.

Who did you ask me?

Seth Summer Sandy?

Yeah, that was it.

Okay.

Oh, and Julie Cooper Nicole Cooper.

Julie Cooper.

By the way, Julie Cooper is in her name is a spoiler alert.

But right now, she's just Julie Cooper.

She's, you know, thinking about getting divorced from Jimmy Cooper.

She's actually so mean.

Evil.

She's Summer Roberts grown up, by the way.

So funny.

She is Summer Roberts grown up.

And just Ryan was pissing me off.

Like,

she doesn't want to live with, like, screaming.

Like, you just got here.

You're screaming at the neighbor that her daughter doesn't want to live with you anymore.

Like, know your place, bitch.

Take a fucking seat.

Like, he's insane.

And by the way, at that point, he hadn't even kissed Marissa.

Like, they just liked each other.

I can't.

He's the worst.

He's so icky.

And honestly, he's like short.

And I don't like him.

Hey.

Not surprising.

but funny.

No, but say every time people re-watch OC, they're like, wait, Marissa was the worst.

Like, Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We need to talk about Ryan.

Yeah.

And I think he's meant to be the moral compass of the show.

Yes.

But he's literally the dumbest bitch alive, making the worst decisions.

Yeah.

No, I think Sandy Cohen is the moral compass.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For sure.

So that's the journey we went on this weekend while I was sick.

Very fun.

Jolly good time.

Jolly good time.

Jolly good show.

Yeah, jolly good show we do have a great show as you say there was a lot of football so that's our first story i didn't get to watch the football but i did watch liz woods' story so i do feel like i was there but i'm gonna tell you everything i watch every minute of the game yeah but i know like i know who won the game like i've got the overall picture plus zach was watching living room so every time i came out to you know wash a bottle or something i i checked the score yeah And we listened to it in the car on the drives.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

It was the least I could do.

He was driving nicely.

Okay.

And I didn't have, you know, I didn't need to, I didn't want for much.

Bruno was chilling.

Bruno came to Disney too.

But he didn't come to the park.

No, but we did see that they had like a place called like Best Friends Pet Care where you can drop your pets off because they literally think of everything.

Wait, that's so smart.

So smart.

Instead, he stayed at the hotel because our hotel was dog friendly.

We stayed at the J.W.

Marriott Bonnet Creek and Bruno was in heaven.

Wait, I love that.

Yeah, no, and so he got to see the Diz.

He got to go to Orlando.

Bruno's extremely well-traveled and cultured.

Yeah, he went to Orlando.

Yeah, he's extremely cultured.

And it wouldn't have been a fun family weekend without Strice.

No, I'm so glad he got to experience even the littlest bit of that Disney magic.

Yeah, because even when you drive, like, it's Mickey on the highway sign.

Like, Mickey said.

Oh my God, the kids are probably freaking.

Yeah, except Harry's car seat is turned backwards, so he

missed all of that.

What about in the mirror?

Maybe he saw it in the mirror.

Maybe he saw it in the mirror, but he had its sun shield up.

I don't know what he saw.

But if he wearing the Tesla, it's all sunroof.

And he gets to see a lot.

But that's daddy's Kia for you.

No, you needed the big family car.

Yeah.

What do you mean?

Like a, what's a big family car?

The Kia.

Like, you wouldn't have taken the Tesla to Disney.

No, no, no.

Oh my God.

You sound like Zach.

You needed like the loser.

You sound like Zach being like, how could we take the Tesla?

Like, he just wants to, like, put my car down because it's so superior to his.

No, by the way, you should be grateful.

Like, what do you want to shit up your car at Disney?

Let the Kia get shitted up.

i mean it wasn't like shit it up but no but it's like hours in the car with two kids all the stuff snacks of course like don't do it in the nicer one i know that's why we need a minivan

that's why and if you need if you got a minivan maybe the shapiros and the wine ribs could all go together well the shapiros have a wagoneer and still we couldn't all go together did you want to go in one car Not to the drive up because why not have all the space, but we should have maybe gone all in one car to the park.

Oh, yeah.

That was a lesson.

A lesson.

So anyways, good times.

Had by all.

Let's get into the stories.

Without further ado, do to do about Misker, Muska, Mickey Mouse.

Oh my, that was like our funniest intro yet.

I was cackling.

Disney will do that to you.

It'll bring out the best of you.

It's the joy.

And the worst.

So that might be later in the episode.

Here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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And it's like really fun and cool to use.

But what's so great about it, it's an amazing exfoliant that you can use every day.

Most exfoliants, since they're so harsh and have like crazy chemicals in them, you can only use them like two times a week.

But if you spray tan a lot, like I'm wearing a spray tan right now, you need to exfoliate like every day.

Exfoliating is a huge part of your life.

And I love the daily microfoliant for face.

exfoliating.

It will bright, well, for me, I really use it to remove dead skin, remove spray tan, but a lot of people use exfoliants for a different reason.

It can reduce

blackheads, improve skin smoothness, visibly brighten skin, and minimize the look of dark spots.

So, Dermalogica, which is a brand we all know and love, I also use their vitamin C serum, is a professional-grade skincare brand whose products are designed to treat your unique skin concerns.

So, visit dermalogica.com for more information and a free gift with an over $20 purchase at checkout.

That's Dermologica, D-E-R-M-A-L-O-G-I-C-A.com.

They're just a skincare brand.

Like, whenever they have a product, I'm like, oh, I need a new cleanser, let me go to Dermologica.

I just trust them.

They're made really well.

A lot of toasters work there.

We stand.

Great.

Thank you so much.

Guerpao.

Our first story.

Football.

Semifinals, I think, were this weekend.

It was the game before the game, before the game.

Yeah, it's the game before the division championships.

Right.

So semifinals, then next week would be the finals.

No.

The finals of the conferences.

No, no.

I think we would consider this week like the quarterfinals.

Okay, quarterfinals, next week.

Upcoming games, semi.

And then the Super Bowl.

So this was important in terms of who would win.

The Packers played the Niners.

And let me say, let me say, they gave him a good run for their money.

They did.

Oh, my God.

Wait, I'm obsessed.

Have you seen the clip going viral

from this game?

This like enormous defensive player.

Like, by the way, the games were so tense.

Like, everybody was fighting, like, physically fighting in every game.

And the Packers versus Niners one, like, had a lot of fighting.

And like, people were like throwing words around.

around.

And one of the Packers players, like, tried to get involved, but this enormous defensive lineman just kind of put his hand out, and the player fell to the ground.

Like, just he put no effort.

Jackie, do you know who the player was?

The player who fell to the ground?

Yeah.

Christian McCaffrey?

No, no, it was a Packers player.

Who fell to the ground?

Yep.

Who do we know except for Aaron Rodgers?

The fact that you don't even know makes the story even greater.

Simone Biles' husband.

Jonathan always like, he literally went viral because the guy didn't even touch him and he literally fell completely to the ground.

Stop.

So the Niners won, which was so fabulous.

There was so much to take away from that game.

And, you know, the Packers, it was a close call.

Like, not really, but, you know, the whole time, it wasn't like, obviously, the Niners are winning.

Like, it was a good game.

They tried their best.

That quarterback, Jordan Love, he's got

I saw an interview with him.

He's like, he was waiting.

The theme of his career is patience because he didn't start as a quarterback until his sophomore year in college.

Then he waited on the bench.

He waited on the bench as Aaron Rodgers was quarterback for three years out of a four-year contract that he has, Jordan Love.

No, and like, I think people from the Packers, like Aaron Rodgers was their guy.

You don't get back-to-back guys.

Yeah.

You get a few good years with a guy.

You know what they call that instead of the guy?

I think they call that a franchise quarterback.

Yes, yes, yes.

Which means like a guy.

The guy.

And so I don't think anybody expected much from him.

And he's really fabulous, like really, really fabulous Yeah, and I think like the team is very young and fresh now and they're just like

killing it No, I love that for them.

I wish them the most but like not up against my niner game family, you know

I want to say like Jordan love versus Brock Purdy like Jordan Love was amazing Brock turdy was so bad like he almost lost the game for the team.

Yeah, Zach was saying that Brock Purdy's not good.

He's not.

And the thing is, is he's not a franchise quarterback.

He's not not meant to be one.

I just saw a meme this morning, and it's not a meme, it's just an image with text on it, that Lamar Jackson, the quarterback for the Ravens, will make $80 million this year, and Brock Turdelieu is going to make $870,000.

Like, he's not a franchise quarterback.

No, he's not.

And the thing is, the 49ers team is like so perfect in every way.

Like, George Kittle, Kyle Yuszczak, Christian McCaffrey, like they've got the guys, Debo Samuels, like they've, like, everyone else is doing like level 10 most, 10 out of 10, A plus.

And they've made it this far, despite the fact that like, really, they don't have a quarterback.

And I know, like, what happened with Brock last year was like Jimmy Garoppolo got injured and this like fourth string quarterback came up and he wasn't so bad.

And it was like this cool like Jeremy Lynn moment almost.

It was like, oh, cute, fun.

But like, why when the season was over, did they not get a real quarterback?

Like, why did Aaron Rodgers go to the 49ers?

Like, why did they get someone?

Because that's what I was saying.

If they had Jordan Lover, just like someone who's not like the biggest name, but who's like decent, they would just be winning, period.

Like, it wouldn't even be a question.

And it must be, I wonder if everyone on the team is frustrated.

Like, why don't we have a real quarterback?

It's a good question.

So, if they don't win the Super Bowl or make it to the Super Bowl, it'll be because of that.

It won't be because of anyone else.

Okay, that's a good sports analysis.

So, it was really fun to watch.

I was really happy for them, but I do worry because, you know, they're playing the Lions.

The Lions won yesterday.

They beat the Buccaneers, you know, Baker.

I literally know everything now.

Baker Mayfield.

He tried.

And they were the wild card.

They shouldn't have even gotten this far.

No, and they should have gotten smoked.

And it was really a nail biter to like the last couple of minutes.

We had to get it.

We love when people give us, you know, something to talk about.

And I wish them well.

They did a really great job.

And I wanted them to win because the winner of that game plays the Niners.

And of course, I wanted the worst team to win.

I saw that in your story, but wouldn't you say the team that wins?

is the better team?

I know someone could win on a fluke and there's the refs and this and that.

Things happen.

Things happen, but technically like the team that won would be the better team regardless of who wins.

No, I don't agree with that.

Because so many rules in football like make no fucking sense.

Like one I learned last night, a touchback.

Do you know that like if you like run the ball into the end zone, but you fumble,

not only does the touchdown not count,

you turn over the ball to the other team.

But there's a fumble.

Yeah, but like the other, yeah, but not a turnover, just a fumble.

Like you just drop the ball so the thing doesn't count.

You drop the ball when?

While you're in the end zone.

You have to hold it for how many seconds until a fumble.

I don't know, but you fumble it.

That kind of makes sense.

Why?

But if you fumble it on a regular catch, you don't turn it over.

You just turning it over is a little messed up.

Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

Thank you.

That's the one.

It's a little extreme.

Yeah.

No, and they just like make rules up in this game every time.

It's like, I don't know.

I just, just because you win doesn't mean you're the better team.

I stand by that.

Okay.

That's definitely up for debate.

I don't disagree, but I think, you know,

it could be a great debate for someone else.

So then Detroit and the Buccaneers.

The debt has been on my mind a lot lately because the debt toasters are not like letting this go.

No, they're not.

And they're making a really good case for the debt.

And every game that the debt wins, it's like, we haven't won this game in 60 years.

And then the next one, 70 years.

So I do like the history of it all.

I think their shade of blue is a gorgeous shade of blue.

I'm so glad you brought that up.

It's like pastel.

It's a really beautiful shade of blue that I wouldn't mind seeing on the Super Bowl field.

I wouldn't.

I agree.

Especially if they played the purple.

Ooh.

But now we're cleaning the Super Bowl logo conspiracy theory.

Oh, yeah, we talked about it.

Very much.

And it's very much intact because the Ravens and the Niners are both in.

And it's making it, you know, seem kind of like a possibility.

The thing is, though, the debt blue color is not a primary color.

So it would never be in the Super Bowl logo because that would be weird.

Wait, but purple's not a primary color.

No, but the shade of purple, it's not like they're the lavenders.

Oh, I know what you mean.

But also, Bennett, because it's not a hard blue.

I said, do you really feel like the NFL is scripted?

He's like, like, maybe, but they wouldn't be dumb enough to like tell you with the logo.

It's so true.

It could be an Easter egg.

Yeah, like, they might have interest.

Like, it's definitely in their best interest to get the Chiefs to the Super Bowl.

So many people tune in

in their best interest.

It's in their best interest.

Except Taylor maybe really can't go.

We checked her tour schedule.

Oh, that's true, actually.

But maybe she could make it work.

She has a plane.

Yeah, but like, it's in their best interest to, you know, give a good call to the refs over here.

Like, for sure.

They're not going to broadcast it in the logo.

Like, they're not leaving us Easter eggs.

They don't want us to figure it out.

The red in the logo could be the Chiefs, too.

But there's no purple for them to play against.

Right, exactly.

So yesterday I was thinking, actually, the Buccaneers could win and then play the Niners, and then maybe the Buccaneers win and

Buccaneers, and they're the red but no they lost they were not the red no but I don't think anybody feels bad for the Buccaneers one they were the wild card Mazletofrieve and getting to this place and two they just won a Super Bowl recently like it's not your time but can I tell you who I actually do feel bad for

who did the debt play no not them

uh the bills the bills the bills are bills strong let me tell you why I feel bad for the bills because I was rooting for them I'm not gonna lie I do love an underdog it's a New York team.

I'm sorry.

I'm from New York.

And you know that Josh Allen, he's got charisma and he's got old tweets.

Two things he and I both have in common.

And I just, I don't know if I'm not sure.

And I love for Haley Seinfeld.

Yes, I kind of just like love him, even though like in the DMs, everybody was making me hate him.

Like apparently he cheated on his old girlfriend, got a girl pregnant.

Paid her off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I'm just sticking to like mental health.

Ignorance is bliss.

Ignorance is bliss.

And he's a franchise quarterback.

Like he is a, he scored so many touchdowns.

Like he himself, like he ran with the ball.

Like I'm, i kind of like as i was watching the game was falling more and more in love with josh allen and the team and they you know it's like every year they get so so close but they never really just like get there and i don't know i was kind of feeling like maybe it's their year especially when i you know Put them next to the Chiefs who I'm like no offense like I'm just like a little bit over I feel like all we talk about is the Chiefs and it's Chiefs this and Chiefs that and they won last year and it's like always their time and I know they're amazing but like I'm just like oh like can somebody else get a little bit of attention?

yeah like the Chiefs are whatever the opposite of the underdog is they are that you know the obvious choice oh always winning stays winning it's annoying Goliath versus David Goliath yes and a lot of people were saying like that's very much what it was like for like 10 years with Tom Brady and the Patriots right and it's annoying it's annoying like can somebody else have a little fun yeah I wouldn't have minded the bills winning either but considering the chiefs won we got you know what is also also a big story from the weekend, which was the tailored celebrations of it all.

Yeah, so Taylor was at the game in a suite, which of course we knew she was going to be, but why was this game different from all other games?

Well, it was the first playoff game where Travis's brother, Jason, was able to attend.

And not only did he attend, but he got wasted.

He went to a tailgate before, and he brought his wife.

And we were talking last week how we feel like Kylie Kelsey and Taylor Schrefluck are not friends.

Now, they were in the suite together and there were a couple of photos of them talking.

I don't think it really proves that they're like friends.

No, they behaved, though, but I think

Taylor can charm anyone.

I know.

It's like you think you're not going to like her and then you meet her and she's just amazing.

Yeah, so I feel like they hit it off.

They might have not even ever met up until this point, but I feel like they click just because I think it's Taylor's mission to click.

She's not going to have a sister-in-law that she doesn't get along with.

Like, she's going to make everyone like her.

Yeah, no, and I think her and Jason got along really well.

And I feel like they haven't spent a lot of time together.

But when you think about, it kind of reminded me a little bit of like, um,

in a really like wrong way, how like when before Harry, Prince Harry got married, it was like Harry, William, and Kate.

They were like a thrupple, really.

And that's really what Jason, Travis, and Kylie Kelsey have been.

Like he's been, he fucking loves his sister-in-law.

And now it's Jason's time to like give that same energy to Travis's new girlfriend.

And I feel like he went in and just like did the most 10 out of 10.

And I do feel, I always find it interesting, like, which friends Taylor decides to bring to White Game.

And she brought Cara Delavine, which like I kind of thought was weird until I realized like Cara Delavine is Jason Kelsey.

Like they're the same.

Okay, she is.

I agree.

I thought it was weird.

One, because also she's not American, so I don't think she cares about football.

Because at first I was like, you should bring your Eagles friend fan, maybe a friend from Pennsylvania.

Yeah.

But Cara Delavine also

is sober now.

So

we reported that.

Well, because she was not in a good place.

She had been rehabilitated.

I don't know, you know, some people might come off of one thing, but still drink.

So I don't know what...

me neither, but it's not the type of environment for actually.

No, it's not even about the type of environment, but I think like former Cara Delavine is more akin to Jason Kelsey than who knows.

But even in still in all the pictures, she's like being silly goofy.

No, she looked like her old self.

She doesn't have to be drinking to be her fun-loving self.

True, true, true.

But I don't know.

That's a good question.

I just always find it interesting, like, who gets the invite to which games.

Maybe it's just based on availability, you know?

Yeah, yeah.

But no, it looked to be like that was the best suite in the house.

I mean, it usually is, but they were generally having a jolly good time.

Britney was there.

Brittany was there.

Jackson was there.

Oh, I didn't see him.

I did.

They're trying to hide you.

You don't miss him.

I never miss him.

Oh, they have a suite full of people to like keep

Jackson down.

Yeah, and like, it probably sucks for Brittany because I'm sure like Taylor would get her own suite, you know, but like, you know, include Britney, but with Brittany comes all this baggage.

Really?

Why does that suck for Brittany?

Because it's like, oh, hey, Taylor, you want to go to the game together?

Can I bring my sex offender brother-in-law?

Like, it's not like that.

Okay, but she could split from him sometimes.

He could go with friends.

No, no, like she can't.

That's like, that's Patrick's brother.

No, I know, but like, she is.

Okay, if you were a football player.

They are a package.

If you were a football player, Ben and I would go to a lot of games together.

But if sometime, like, Ben wanted to go get a suite with the boys, like, I could fend for myself.

Okay, in this scenario, are you a sex offender?

Well, no.

No.

And by the way, no, it's like they take a plane there together, they're not gonna charter two different planes, and like these tickets are like so hard to get.

Like, get one big suite, like, for everyone.

No, Jackson, you have to go get another suite.

Where the hell is Jackson gonna sit?

Like, like, that's her brother, like, you know, like it or not, they're blood, yeah, no, but like, Ben could get a suite with his friends and like, just throw me a couple tickets for sure.

But, like, you, this analogy is just not

congruent because you are not a sex offender.

No, but because I'm not a sex offender, like

I deserve, like, it's less,

say I was, then for sure he's going to throw me out of the suite and throw me a couple tickets.

But considering we're all good, it still wouldn't be weird that if we don't go to every game together.

I don't know.

Like, this is a big game.

It's not just like a regular season game.

That's true.

I just think it's interesting.

So that's the new.

Also, Travis did the heart.

Everyone's losing their minds.

So he blew a kiss and then did the heart.

I scored a touchdown.

And he scored three.

Honestly, it was one of the cutest things I've ever seen in my life.

Like, sorry.

Like, I loved it.

It was really cute.

And it reminded me, of course, every touchdown, he's looking at Taylor, like, that's my girl.

But to me, that was like his equivalent of her changing the lyric to Karma's a guy in the Chiefs.

It's like, I'm doing this for you in the stands.

I see you.

I have eyes only for you.

By the way, love that analogy.

Thank you.

And so true.

Yeah.

You've got to make your girl feel special.

No, it was so cute.

We got so much footage.

Jason Kelsey also like took his shirt off.

He was obviously like really drunk, so excited.

Okay, also like I know I'm crazy, but there was like this video going around of Jason Kelsey like jumping out of the suite, banging on his chest, whatever.

And I swear to God, I saw two Spritz cans.

Like I know, I know I sound crazy.

It looks like there's two passion fruit spritz cans.

Where?

Oh, I see that.

Right?

Now, it's worth noting, we don't sell spritz at that particular stadium, so there's no way they could have bought it there.

But when you have a suite and when you're Taylor Swift, like you bring whatever beverages you like inside the suite, so I'm just saying it's an option.

It is.

I do see something that doesn't look like part of the Spritz can, but Macy, Macy, who runs the Spritz Instagram account, was also posting on the Spritz Instagram story.

He's like, does anybody else think that looks like passion fruit?

Like, I wasn't the only one.

Yeah, it does.

I see them.

I did like look at other angles and stuff.

I'm like, it's not, but let's pretend it is not.

I just feel like Jason Kelsey publicly like drinks beer, pounds on his chest, but in in the privacy of his own home, cracks openness for its passion fruit.

For sure.

I didn't think necessarily that Jason was drinking.

No, I think it's Jason.

There's a lot of people.

It's okay.

I could see that for Jason.

Classic.

I could see it for Taylor.

Of course.

That's so on the nose.

So on the nose.

I just had the best time watching so much football.

I'm kind of obsessed.

And next week, and you know what?

I had to cancel all my plans because I was sick on Saturday night, the night of the Niners game, 8.15.

So annoying.

I was actually supposed to be out at a dinner.

So, you know, all's well, that ends well.

And next week, both the games are on Sunday, and I'm going to the rodeo this weekend.

And I actually moved my flight home earlier, so I can be home.

But you could watch on the plane.

Who the hell wants to watch on a plane?

I feel like what else do you do?

I always just watch the airplane on my flight.

Of course, me too, because I'm sophisticated like that.

But I just like

close and like,

oh.

No, but I want to enjoy.

Like, I moved my flight home earlier, but I'm excited to go to the rodeo.

Yee-haw, turd-e-loo.

This actually is my first rodeo.

Zach thought it was really funny that we call him Brock Purdy Lou.

I call him Brock Turdy when he plays bad and Brock Purdy when he plays good.

But that's an insult to yourself, that turdy would be the negative.

No, right in this particular scenario, turdy is duty.

Turd, turd is dudy.

But when it's me, turd, it means, you know, beautiful princess in a foreign language.

Makes sense to me.

I told Zach he should listen to the toast.

Like, we're hysterical and we say funny things like this all the time.

Oh, I'm so glad you brought that up.

What's funny is that he doesn't listen to the toast, but he listened to my episode of Probably a Podcast, and he's been like referencing it all weekend.

I was just going to say something about Probably a Podcast.

What were you going to say?

Shannon always says, like, this is a finance podcast because she gives like the worst finance advice.

She'll like buy herself a new product bag, but then get an at-home manicure.

Yeah, yeah, no, or like, she'll buy herself a new product bag, but like, sell an old one.

Therefore, it's

this is a finance podcast.

And she's always saying that when she does, like, when she saves $1, she's like, oh, got a free Duncan today.

This is a finance podcast.

And so this is a sports podcast.

Well, this is a sports podcast.

Well, the thing is, this has always been pop culture entertainment news podcasts, if we're being real.

I'm like, this is what's going on in pop culture and entertainment.

Sorry.

So yeah, we studied up.

So yeah, we fell in love with the sport.

Okay?

Sue us

Ben wanted to kill me.

He's like, the game is over.

Like, let's go back to watching the OC.

And And I'm like, literally a man.

I'm like, it's not over.

There's two more minutes.

You're like one of those debt fans who wouldn't leave the stadium.

Yeah.

They were all just like sitting there being happy.

Also, their quarterback is cute.

Jared, a cute team.

I mean, we say that every quarterback.

Have we ever like discovered a team and not made mention of like their quarterback?

Are we against any quarterbacks?

No.

Let me think.

Hold on.

There's definitely someone I hate.

No.

But see, here's the other thing that gets me confused about football.

Cause like, you know, what's his name?

The really hot guy from Cincinnati?

Joe Burrow.

And then there's that guy, Trevor Lawrence, from Digital, their franchise quarterbacks.

Like, where are they?

They get paid like hundreds of millions of dollars.

We're not even talking about them right now.

Yeah, they didn't even make it.

And like Brock Purdy, even though he's not the greatest with his 870K, like, I'm sorry, he deserves a raise.

No, I know, but like, that's what I'm saying.

It might incentivize

how you can be worth hundreds of millions.

Like, Joe Burrow has the biggest contract.

He's not even, we're not even talking about him right now.

Like, how the fuck does that make any sense?

No, it doesn't make sense that, like, these are the best quarterbacks in the league and you can make the playoffs.

Then you're not the best quarterback in the league.

Sorry.

And Brock No.

No, but it's a team sport.

Your quarterback can be only so good, but if you don't have, if you spent all your money on your quarterback and you don't have the other players.

Yeah, but even if you're, I mean, look at Tom Brady.

He's a great example of the fact that a quarterback could take you all the way.

No, so true.

Over and over and over again.

And he even like went to Tampa Bay just to prove that point, sort of.

Okay, that's what it's respect.

Respect.

Yeah, respect.

No, you're right.

So I, but I agree with you.

Like,

like, hashtag, where in the world is Joe Burrow?

Remember all the hoopla for Trevor Lawrence?

Like,

I don't.

You don't remember the guy with the long hair?

Oh my god, everyone was obsessed with him.

He like married his high school sweetheart.

It was actually, like, super cute.

And he's like, number one pick, and he just, like, has his long hair and like big, big contract.

Where are you?

Where are you?

Yeah.

And then, like, we're talking about two people I never heard of: Jared Goff and Love, Jordan Love.

Like, I never heard of them.

Right.

Makes you think.

And Zach was telling me that Brock Berdelu is the only quarterback in the playoffs right now who was not drafted in the first round.

He was the last pick.

No, like,

it's an amazing story.

I know he's not good enough, but, like, he is doing really good and he deserves props.

And I think he deserves a raise.

He definitely deserves a raise.

Somebody, I read somewhere, yeah, Christian McCaffrey had to buy tickets for his family.

Right.

I mean, he still makes almost a million dollars a year.

Like, that's certainly not living below the poverty line, but those tickets are really pricey.

And Christian McCaffrey, obviously, I think he's getting paid like $50 million a year, was able to, you know, get some tickets, pay for them for both of them.

It's just like not right that like everyone on the, and it might make him feel some sort of way.

And so he drops the ball.

So true.

Like he's looking around, like, he probably looks into the players.

He just sees like their salary, and he's like, poor Purdy Lou.

Jackie, Brock Purdy is like an immense, a man of immense faith.

Yeah, no, like

super, super Christian.

Like, I feel like he's so religious to the point where, like, even if he had money, he would get put it all on the church plate.

Like, I don't think money does anything for him.

For sure.

And, like, I think his interior life is not guided by money whatsoever.

But, like, then he would have more to give to the church plate.

And I think that would fulfill him more.

Oh, that's true.

Maybe he looks around and he says, My church is suffering.

Your churches are gluttonous.

And look at me.

That's where the resentment comes from.

That her church is suffering.

Purdy's church is suffering.

Purdy's church is suffering.

My God, we are so funny.

Like, it's insane.

Somebody needs to put us on ESPN.

Like, this is the most funny conversation that's ever been had in the history of sports.

Purdy's church is suffering.

Someone needs to put us on ESPN.

Like yesterday, okay?

Yeah, new dreams.

You know what I think we should?

Oh, by the way, you know what I think we should do?

And I shouldn't say it out loud because we're not going to do it, but we should.

Live broadcast the Super Bowl?

Yeah, like on our YouTube channel.

That shit would be fun.

100% and you'll be here.

Yeah, but then we miss the Super Bowl.

We could do something.

Patreon exclusive.

Of course, of course.

Patreon.com slash the toast.

And that's just our first story, guys.

Are you ready for our by the way, Jackie?

Title, Purdy's Church is suffering

oh man I'm sweating are you ready for our next story Definitely the other bit of content that was on this weekend SNL which

I didn't watch one minute of but two headlines caught my eye one Miss Olivia Jade was that Miss Olivia Jade

This girl is breathtaking.

This picture of her I know this outfit.

She's perfection.

But anyway, she showed up to support her mans, who was still her manners, who hosted SNL.

So all that talk last week, just flush it down the toilet.

And Rachel McAdams made a surprise appearance to introduce Renee Rapp.

It was Regina on Regina Crime.

Okay, back to story number one.

Olivia Jade.

Told you so.

Just wanted to say that.

Like, we obviously knew these two were not broken up.

And it just feels good to be right.

I agree with you.

She's so elegant.

I fucking love this bitch.

Like, this is, like, I just only wish good things for her.

And dating Jacob Alarty is obviously like a very good thing.

It is a very good thing.

This picture of her leaving Saks, Fifth Avenue in her fur coat.

Everything is perfection.

And it's, it's not a stage, like, it's not a picture she took herself and posted to Instagram.

Like, this is a candid moment of a perfect person.

No, I completely agree.

I die for her.

And now let's talk about Rachel McAdams, who has been, like, noticeably absent from all things mean girls in the last, you know, year between the Walmart commercial, like all these different things um

convenient timing rachel mcadams but i'm happy you're finally getting in on the fun you know yeah but she did an interview and she explained why she wasn't in the walmart commercial and she said she had no idea everyone was doing it so i feel like that i could see how that could happen where it's like oh i got offered to do like a play an old part in a walmart commercial like no thanks and then you like wake up and it's like oh everyone said yes and i'm the only one who didn't do it But that also shows that she doesn't communicate with her former cast members, which is hurtful to the Mean Girls fandom.

I also imagine that they sent her an offer.

Maybe she didn't know, so she said no.

And then like when everybody got on board, I'm sure they like tried one more time to get her on.

Being like, hey, everyone's here.

You sure?

She said she didn't know.

I know it seems like I'm trying to see the worst in Rachel McAdams.

I'm really not.

I just feel like she's not a nefarious

person.

I would agree with that.

She doesn't give nefarious energy.

Yeah.

I feel like she's very genuine.

So when she says something, I'm going to believe her.

Oh, wow.

okay you're just like kind of taking rachel mcadams at her word i am but i give people the benefit of the doubt until you've lied to me and proven yourself like to be nefarious to be a liar to be a liar i will believe what you say

i think that's like a good general rule of thumb i think so too it's hard like when it's applying it to people that i don't know Right, right.

It's so important to remember.

Like we actually don't know Rachel McAdam.

But like I get a vibe.

Even in this picture, she's so excited to be introducing Renee Rapp.

That's not someone who's like bandwagoning on the mean girls fun.

Agreed.

And it's cute.

Like it's the Tina Fey of it all bringing, you know, SNL together.

Renee Rapp was great.

She brought out Megan The Stallion.

It was, it was jolly good fun.

I, I'm not like, I'm just a little angry at Renee Rapp for leaving that show.

Like, I know it's so dumb, but like, I'm angry.

I know.

And I do think it's a mistake and will turn out to be a mistake.

But right now, it's not looking that way.

No, of course not, because she's on SNL and she's in like this big movie, yada, yada.

But

she left Sex Lives of College Girls to like focus on music and because she had a lot going on.

But like, I don't know, you don't just walk away.

That show is huge.

Like, I think

a lot of people don't realize it's good.

And like, it really shot her to mainstream success because she was like a Broadway queen who a lot of people knew, but not, you know, in a mainstream kind of way.

And I just think the show will continue to be huge.

And I think it was a mistake.

Yeah, but we'll see because we didn't even get a season without her yet.

So.

These things have to play out.

Yeah, that's true.

And maybe I'm just saying that because I'm like angry because I loved her character.

And I just love, like, the show was perfect and I don't want it to change.

But as long as, as long as Kimberly Chalamet, oh no, what's her name?

Paulina.

Paulina.

Her name is Kimberly on the show.

Paulina Chalamay remains on the show playing the role of Dana Holzberg.

I think we're okay.

I think so too.

And that feels good.

Are you ready for our next story, The Big Drama from the Weekend?

You keep saying that about every show.

I said first was like the big news, the shows.

This was the drama.

What what was it kite baby

oh I didn't know if you like knew the name on everybody's lips is kite baby the CEO is forced to post two groveling apologies after she fired an employee named Marissa Hughes who asked to work work remotely while her adopted premature newborn was hospitalized so this has been playing out on the internet it's really gotten like reached a level it exceeded the mama community every day

or even like the TikTok community like every everyone is talking about this story.

So there was an employee that works for Kite Baby.

Kite Baby, if you don't know, is like one of the leading digital brands for kids.

I literally, as I'm like reading this drama, I'm unpackaging, unboxing a Kite Baby order.

I just.

What do you use from those?

Oh, everything.

Their clothes are so soft.

So I love their pajamas.

I just got some like outfits that are onesies and pants for Charlie.

So it's a clothing company.

Clothing company.

Really soft.

And there's.

You said digital.

Because they don't have stores.

They're online.

Oh, so you mean like e-commerce?

Direct-to-consumer.

Yeah, but they're like one of the newer baby brands that's like everybody loves, like that are really getting really big.

Okay.

In a DTC.

DTC.

That's it.

That's what I just said direct to consumer, but I was like, right, right, right.

But I just need to arrive there on my own.

You know what I mean?

I needed to find

the word I was looking for.

Digital.

So it's not digital.

Well, you could shop online.

Yeah.

Anyways, I had just placed a Kai Baby Order before this drama.

It didn't come until after the drama.

And so yesterday I got home and I was opening everything while like reading these headlines.

I'm like, oops, but it's too soft to return.

Sorry.

No, by the way,

whatever's going on online, like you still got to buy the best thing for your baby.

Like, sorry.

But I just want, I probably wouldn't have placed an order in this moment.

But while this was happening.

So you stand with the employee?

Of course.

Of course.

I stand with this employee.

Okay, so.

Give everyone top to bottom, like what the.

Okay, so the employee, her name was Marissa.

She had been fired after requesting to work from the neonatal intensive care unit at a Texas hospital, the NICU, because she had adopted a baby who was born prematurely.

The baby was born at 24 weeks and was in the NICU, like weighing one pound.

So, of course, Girlie couldn't go into work.

She asked to work remotely, and instead she was fired.

The baby was born at 22 weeks.

I'm sorry.

I mean,

any sort of company like not being remotely flexible with their parental leave when someone's baby is 22 weeks old and in NICU, like that's when you go above and beyond for your employees.

The fact that it's a company for babies like is so fucked up.

Like those are the type, and it's a successful one.

Those are the types of companies that should be giving you like the crazy, I forget who I was just talking to about.

It's like new age benefits where it's like maternity leave for life.

Oh, I was just talking to a girl who works at Amazon and I was like, what is it?

And she just had a baby.

I'm like, what do you get?

Three years off?

Like those are the types of companies that should do.

And she was like, Yes, those are the types of companies that should go above and beyond for

parental leave because they can.

And like, Kite Baby isn't because they know

they know what it entails.

And she wasn't even asking for her maternity leave, she was asking to work remotely, right?

And also, she should get maternity leave.

And I wonder what the maternity leave policy is for parents that adopt newborn babies because it's still you have a newborn at home.

What is maternity leave?

Of course.

So she should, it's this.

She should have been getting maternity leave.

Not even, I mean, first of all, her remote work request should have been granted at yeah I mean

yeah but she also should have been given like time off or maternity leave and they should have just been like been flexible in this situation and also this girl like everything she's posting she seems like the actual sweetest nicest person on the planet I mean anyone and she by the way she didn't like want this to like become national news yeah no but even she posted like she's not they offered her her job back she said you know it would be weird to accept but like her whole statement was like I'm just praying for for everyone, praying for the company, praying that changes are enacted.

She's just praying.

She's praying.

And of course, they started a GoFundMe for her, I believe, because obviously now she's, you know, a new mom without a job.

With incredible medical expenses for her new baby.

Right.

Right.

So like she'll be okay.

And I'm sure this is an opportunity for like a Frida baby or, you know, some company

to make, make her the CEO or something.

Dreamland baby, give her a call.

Yes, somebody needs to give this girl a job.

Yeah.

And they win.

That starts in six years.

Yeah, right, right.

So, like, I do think it'll work itself out.

But the story became even bigger because the CEO of Kite Baby, when the story just like randomly, people started like hearing about it.

It was very organic, very, you know, grassroots movement around this.

started to get like a lot of, you know, comments on their social media.

And so she released an apology where she was like reading off of a script.

And that like doesn't bother me so much.

I think, you know, with a lot of people people watching, you want to be careful, of course.

So she had to then release another apology after that because people were so angry that she didn't seem genuine.

And I just think the whole story feels so backwards to so many people because it's literally a company for babies.

Yeah.

It's just like weird.

Yeah.

I mean, the last kite baby order that I, now that we're just slamming kite baby.

Yeah, go.

I ordered kite baby stuff like maybe six months ago and it like never shipped.

Like it was like two weeks and it hadn't shipped and they're like, we're moving warehouses.

so i i was like can i just it was almost a month i was like can i cancel my order so i never even got it and then i decided to take a chance on them again this time because that's how good the stuff is i was like okay i'll wait whatever it is with your warehouse and this happens

kind of like every time i kind of feel like if you are the catalyst for drama at kite baby you are the common denominator here they can't handle my orders they can't handle your they can't handle your kids no it's really crazy so this was a shock to everyone I think that they'll be okay.

Yeah, like, you know, this happens.

The life cycle of brands.

I mean, people are shopping at Valencia again.

So, like, you know, this is.

And I think things will hopefully be okay for Marissa, the employee.

She has her GoFundMe and she has so much support and love and prayers.

And everyone's like, she's, you know, the name on every single thing.

She's going to become an influencer.

And

I hope that things work out for her too, but she obviously has a lot on her plate right now.

I don't think she cares about the

internet.

Like she's in the nickel.

Like there are more important things in the world than like what's going on in your Instagram.

Right.

But it's just been a crazy saga.

It has.

And it's been crazy the amount of like reach the story has, how far it's gone.

Yeah, surprising.

Considering Kite Baby isn't the biggest name in baby.

It sounds like Johnson and Johnson.

Right.

Hampered.

It's kind of like the it's kind of like the Johnson and Johnson of the digital DCC digital.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

For sure.

Are you ready for our fourth story?

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Yeah, well, are you ready for our next story?

I am.

Southern Charms Craig Conover and Austin Kroll are set to open a new bar concept in Charleston.

Of course, genius.

The Southern Charm Boys are bringing new business to town in the form of a neighborhood tavern fit for friends, fans, and tourists.

Later this year, there will be more to Bap Badoo in Charleston, South Carolina.

Did you write that?

No, and I need to thank Entertainment Tonight Online for putting that in.

That's fun.

Because that was really good.

Ba-ba-doo.

Da-da-doo.

Da-daddy.

Da-daddy.

It's easy.

It's good, easy.

It's like the birds and one, two, three, three, one, two, threes.

So anyways, Entertainment Tonight can exclusively announce that Southern Charm stars Craig and Austin are bringing a new business to their adopted hometown, partnering with Uptown Hospitality Group on a fresh concept called By the Way.

Wait, is Uptown Hospitality Group Leva?

No, hers is like Republican.

Yeah, I don't think she's Uptown because she's not named in this article.

The neighborhood tavern tavern is set to open midsummer just around the corner from the company's flagship location, Uptown Social, on the city's famous King Street.

This move furthers Craig and the Austin's business relationship.

The two are already partners in a podcast called Pillows and Beer and investors in the New York City eatery called Carriage House.

Craig said, Charleston has grown so much in the last few years and brought in a lot of travelers.

So we wanted to create a space where locals and travelers could hang out together and enjoy the neighborhood.

Travelers is an interesting word.

Yes, I completely agree.

I believe the word Craig was looking for for waste.

But I think it was a choice not to use it.

Because I feel like tourists is a little offensive.

It's derogatory.

Why?

Because nobody wants to go to a place where the tourists go.

That's true.

I go where the travelers go.

Right.

I have to say, this is like pretty brilliant on behalf of...

Craig and Austin.

The show is so big.

It's so popular.

I do feel like it's done a lot for Charleston.

And when you think about like how the restaurants in West Hollywood for Van and Prump Rules and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, what that did for like the lives of the reality stars and their businesses.

This is that, I think, on like a smaller scale, but I think it's really smart.

I do wonder like what Shep makes of like all of like the dynamics within the friendships of the men like changing so much.

And now Austin and Craig, for like the last couple of years, their podcast is really successful.

They went on tour.

Like what he makes of it.

Well, there's a few things.

One, I think at one point, Shep is part owner in a bar or he has his own bar in Charleston.

He doesn't like talk about it that much on the show, but he does something like this.

I don't know what's going on with the bar, but I also think it's interesting that this bar isn't branded as like a southern charm thing.

It could have been called Pillows and Beer, and it's not.

I was thinking that.

What's it?

By the way,

BTW.

So it has nothing to do with the show.

It could have been called Bap Badu.

Right, I guess Tom Tom has to do with the show.

Pump has to do with the show.

They all do typically.

So it's not, but I think it's also smart.

That way, if Southern Charm goes away, it doesn't make the bar irrelevant.

They can use Southern Charm to prop up the bar, but it's not like just a bar for Bravo fans.

And people might not walk down the street.

They might not want to go in.

They're like, oh, I don't watch that show.

That's the bar from the show.

But it really can be more inclusive.

And it's just an interesting, I'm sure they sat on it for a long time and thought about it and came to this decision as the best decision.

So I do think it's interesting.

But yeah, Austin and Craig, it's also funny because on the show, sometimes they fight like.

They don't like each other.

Like brothers.

No, but like they'll go through spells where it feels like they're not talking, but they are business partners.

And I feel like they prioritize their business relationship.

Like no matter what happens in the personal like we will be business partners and i feel like at this point in their lives they're more of business partners than they are of friends at certain points yes but they're also like professional reality stars and maybe they're able to like really compartmentalize like what happens on the show as like that's part that's work you know and not being like actual personal i feel like it's kind of the opposite where when they're not filming they like

Not that they're not friends, but like they're not each other's maybe best friends in this world.

That's good.

And then when they're filming, like they just get picked right back up when they do their podcast, they're touring.

Like they're really, it feels like very good business partners.

And then maybe

not all the time, like BFFL.

BFF, living together.

I do like, I think one of my favorite sort of storybook ending, character arc, you know, journeys through all reality TV is like how Craig Conover really like ended up on top.

Yeah.

With, you know, Paige in his relationship.

Professionally, he did become a lawyer.

Sewing down south is huge.

It's huge.

No, the tone of the show has changed now that Craig isn't the punching bag.

And the last season, so last season and this season, it's like everybody is like struggling with how to treat him.

And they like to be like, You've changed since your society.

It's like, oh, shut up, it's up.

You just have to have respect now.

You can't get away with like, you have to take him seriously.

Yeah, it's funny watching everyone try and like have to like struggle with like Craig isn't the butt of the joke anymore.

Like jokes on them I love it no I love it as someone who has always loved Craig and like

thought that he's been right and mistreated it's so vindicating I imagine how Craig feels no totally yeah no but in like it's relationship he's winning everyone else is like a mess Austin's a mess yep Shep is a mess.

Whitney, yes.

And you just, you just love to see it.

Like it's my favorite.

And this is just like one step further of like them becoming really businessmen of Charleston.

I'm sure Shep will find a way to knock it, but it's impressive.

I agree.

And no one's done it on this particular show yet.

Like, you said he has a bar, but

except for Leva, but Leva's kind of like the Lisa Vanderpump.

She already

had it before.

And now her bar has a show.

Yes.

What's it called again?

I don't.

Southern Hospitality.

I've not seen it, but it looks good.

And it looks like a non- And I've heard it.

It was good.

It was good.

It makes total sense.

yep yep yep yep so so does this and i hope it does well me too and like maybe they'll get a show next you know like yeah it's giving tom tom

yeah until it isn't

hopefully it's well run yeah tom tom's well run also it's smart that they're working with a hospitality group they can lend their faces and stuff but like maybe not have all the pressure not be like tom

shorts and sand put all their money into it and like refinance their houses yep so it looks like they're making shrewd business moves and you love to see it.

You do.

And what is surprising that I was thinking about is the fact that Austin launched Tropop.

Yeah.

I think it's still around, but the fact that he found no way to use momentum from the show in order to like prop the business.

It remains like a local IPA only available in Charleston.

Yeah, at like two bars.

Yeah, they could have named the bar Tropop.

Which is honestly, I think Tropop's such a good name.

Like that's what they could have named if they wanted it to be like the Southern Charm Bar, which they don't.

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Which I think is good positioning.

I hope it, I hope they have success.

Our fifth and final story is that Kim Kardashian attended a boss mitzvah this weekend.

I'm obsessed.

I saw.

So Kim attended the bot mitzvah of her lifer friend's daughter, and she was posting from the bot mitzvah, which looked.

Do we know which lifer friendly friends?

I couldn't figure it out, but I'm sure others could.

Me neither.

So Kim has this group of friends.

They call themselves themselves the lifers.

They're like OG friends from middle school.

Obviously, everybody knows Allison, the blonde girl who's like always around.

She's a lifer.

Zoe Winkler, Henry Winkler.

Winkler.

Winkler's daughter.

Henry Winkler's daughter is a lifer.

It's like this group of like seven or eight girls, and one of their daughters had a bot mitzvah.

And like, I'm obsessed.

Yeah, Kim was posting some of the activations.

What was the girl's name?

Violet.

She had like a little Starbucks, Violet Starbies.

Then she had a little

skims.

It was like a little mall.

Pop-up.

It was really cute.

She also posted a video of Violet doing the horra.

Kim said, I love the hora.

Hashtag, I love the horra.

Hashtag

mother of the bot mitzvah.

Yep.

Also, I love the hora.

No, the hora is such a good, like,

it's such a good energy, like

vibe cultivator.

Vibe cultivator.

It makes me sad that people have like weddings that don't have huras because to me, the horror is my favorite part and it's so rooted in tradition.

You know, like we've been

hurrahing thousands of years in the land of Israel where the Jews are the indigenous people.

Agreed.

So I'm glad that Kim got to experience a good whore.

Also, this bat mitzvah girl was like so elegant,

beautiful, not awkward bat mitzvah energy.

Well, she's from Hidden Hills and Kim Kardashians at her bot mitzvah, so like she wasn't going to be brace face.

It wasn't about brace face, the way she carried herself, this Bas basmisfa.

Okay, but also, it's worth noting that, like, basmisfa-aged girlies today are not what they were in the days of yore.

30.

13 is 13.

No, no, it's not.

You know, I know that 13 is not 13.

Differently, but biologically, it's evolution.

No, it's evolution.

It's not, it's, it's uh, social change, it's not biological change.

Mentally,

on the outside, they might look different, but on the inside, they're they're the same.

I don't agree.

13 is 13.

Awkward teens are awkward teens.

I know they look different, but on the inside,

they're going through all the same feelings that you were, La.

They're not.

What are they feeling?

Well, today they're feeling depressed and suicidal.

They really are.

That's true.

Like they're built different.

They're like experiencing such different childhoods than we were.

They're all depressed.

it's so negative oh i thought you were saying so toxic 13 year olds like look like you know 18 year old instagram super well that too

well they do also look different because they have access to more information and more like makeup tutorials hair care like they know what they're doing maybe in visalign

Invisalign too, yes.

But this is a huge conversation happening on TikTok right now.

It's like all about the 10-year-olds who go to Sephora.

And like a lot of these Sephora employees are speaking out because the kids are so fucking rude and like disgusting.

They like play with the displays and like make it dirty.

And they really all go over to the drunk elephant

section.

The kids today are obsessed with drunk elephant moisturizer, bronzing drops, et cetera.

And then people started to realize if you look at the ingredients in drunk elephant, drunk elephant is not made for kids.

It's just a brand that's weirdly like kids have become obsessed with.

And it's kind of like a Livstrong bracelet.

Like if you don't have it, you're not cool.

So these kids like force their parents to take them to Sephora and force them to go get drunk elephant.

But if you look at the ingredients, it has like retin-a in it.

It's really for mature skin.

It's not for kids.

And this conversation of like, does, you know, drunk elephant, is there a responsibility on the brand?

Because if you look at it, it really kind of looks like a brand for kids.

It's like bright colors.

It's like, looks like a toy almost.

It's like pump screw.

Drunk.

That's not for kids.

So then the other side of the conversation is like, well, one, it's called drunk.

This is obviously not a brand that's ever marketed towards kids.

Two, like the child, the kids industry like doesn't have a monopoly on bright colors.

Like just because something's colorful doesn't make it for kids.

So there is this big conversation about like, is drunk elephant guilty?

But you're right.

Like drunk being in the name, like it's obviously not for me.

You know what that reminds me of?

Jewel.

Like the kids industry doesn't have a monopoly on fruit.

Woo!

So true.

Jewel literally gone, but not forgotten.

But the thing is, there was, there was evidence of

marketing towards teens.

I don't think there really is evidence of drunk elephant marketing.

No, I'm sure they're like, how did we end up in this situation?

Like we're just a makeup.

It's like every 13-year-old.

Yeah.

But a a lot of the jewels, I'm sure, like, there might be evidence of, like, jewel marketing campaign, like, targeting kids, but, like, a lot of the citations were like, it's fruity.

Yes, right.

Which really isn't an argument.

Fruit isn't inherently childish.

No.

Like, everybody wants a fruity pebble.

Something.

Right.

No, it's true, but that's what people are talking about on TikTok.

That and kite, baby.

Okay.

So now you're in the know.

And I just loved this episode, and I want to end it so we can get it out because people deserve to hear it.

I agree.

And it's been a long one, right?

Yeah, we're at like okay, let them go, turtle.

So

thank you guys so much for listening to the Toastmillennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Please by the time podcast podcast, fast story, you've got to be able to set it weekly.

That's where we are.

Have an amazing Monday, and we'll see you tomorrow for Tuesday because that's how it works.

That's how it works.

Love ya.

Bye.