Bussin' Dialogue!: Friday, January 19th, 2024

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and

happy

Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on Friday.

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

Weekend.

We're getting down on Friday.

And we're looking forward to the weekend.

I actually have a very big weekend planned.

I'm excited to share when I'm done with my weekend because right now, not much to share.

But I feel like at the end of the weekend, I'll have a lot to share.

I feel like you don't even know what my weekend is.

What the hell are you talking about?

Oh, we'll talk offline, but I have a big weekend.

Okay, like, what are you doing?

Going camping?

No, but that's a good idea.

And, like, honestly, take them camping in the backyard.

Because

they won't remember it, so don't go out of the trouble of like.

No, and that would actually be really cute to camp in the backyard.

Wait, what is Jackie doing this weekend?

Have you told me?

I think so, but I mean, I definitely told you, but maybe not in like the last 48 hours.

No, I have no idea.

Well, we'll talk later.

But I just, I have an exciting weekend planned, and I'm looking forward.

As you so beautifully sung, everybody's looking forward to the weekend weekend.

I,

first of all, today's episode is audio only for a multitude of reasons.

One, it is a blizzarding in New York and my ass was not leaving the house like no shot.

Got it.

Also, woke up a little sick.

Woke up a little sick.

I know we spoke too soon yesterday when I said you were sounding like regular roll.

Then, most importantly, my delivery window for my 9 to 12 crate and barrel delivery.

They were here at 8.40.

We live for timely kings and queens.

Prompt.

Everything was delivered.

It was like the crazy, like, I never saw three people move so fast in my entire life.

Like, it was like, whoo, what do you want this?

Ho, ho, ho.

And everything's here now.

Amazing.

It was so, everything came so good, but like, there's so many other things that I'm waiting for.

Like, I have another Crate and Barrel delivery in like a few weeks and then another CB2 one.

And now I just need those to come.

Like, I'm beginning, I'm growing impatient, you know?

It's a waiting game.

You have to exert a lot of patience.

Ain't for the faint of heart.

And I feel like Crate and Barrel is pretty immediate.

You know, they have things in stock.

It's not like

you order in stock items.

Right.

But there are people, there are things that you order that take like six months.

No, I know.

One item of mine was custom.

So that one will be a while.

But I try to avoid like, if it ain't in stock.

Yeah.

Furniture-wise, like any furniture store.

I'm just, that's not for me.

I'm not one of those people, but then like.

It makes you appreciate the wayfares where it's like, you could have this in three days.

Yeah, but like it looks like it, you know?

Yeah, no, but you'll have furniture.

No, but then the last time that I was in a pickup like this, like when me and Ben moved into our last apartment, we were furniture shopping and we really wanted this couch in beige.

But this, the gray one.

I went through this exact same thing.

The gray one was available like tomorrow.

The beige one was like seven to 14 weeks or something, like something really nuts.

And we were like, no way.

And we went with the gray one.

And I loved the couch, but I always wished it was beige.

And if my fat ass had just waited seven weeks, like I had the couch for five years.

Literally same when we got the couch.

We could get it in gray or beige, but like the idea of custom ordering, I just know.

Who do I think I am?

Yeah, no, no, no.

It's like, what is this?

The Buckingham Palace?

You know, and it's like the gray one wasn't even tomorrow.

It was a few weeks.

And then the other one was like months.

Months.

So no, thank you.

We got the gray one.

And what's so crazy is now in this house, we needed to get a new couch and we wound up getting the same couch in beige, correcting the error finally.

And the wait wasn't even that long.

We bought it on Black Friday and it came in February.

No, the perils

of buying furniture.

But the benefits.

But the benefits.

Today I reaped the benefits.

I have so much more furniture in my home.

Still need more stuff, but it's starting to look like a home that feels like a home, you know?

Like a real home.

Right.

That's all you can hope for.

It's so true.

And we can also hope for and celebrate the fact that it's Friday.

We have a great show for you guys.

We have Queenie and Weenie of the Week.

We will not forget.

Did you write yours down?

I don't have them yet.

I'm hoping they'll come to me over the course of the episode.

I was thinking about the week at a glance and the stories, but nothing really stuck out yet.

Yeah, no, I heard read something on TikTok this morning, actually, that is my Weenie of the Week.

Ooh, exciting.

So like, you guys don't even know it yet.

Oh my gosh, we're in the dark.

So we've got a great show.

If that's all, like, should we usher these kids into the weekend?

I think that we should usher them.

They They deserve to be ushered and to know what's going on and to embark on their weekend.

I hope everyone has a great weekend planned, you know?

I think we all have great weekend plans.

Good.

It's just like a nice, cozy January weekend.

By the way, especially in like the Northeast, I think it's snowing in a lot of places.

It's like so cozy.

It's like classic weekend, you know?

It's giving weekend.

Right?

Is there a dumber conversation?

Like, is there a dumber conversation?

No, but let's try.

No, but you guys know what we mean, though.

That's what I said.

It's giving weekend.

Yeah, it's giving weekend.

It brings it.

Completely.

So without further ado, to do,

here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

And the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Skims.

We've been wearing Skims for months.

I love their bras.

I think it is so worth the hype.

I think it's actually underhyped.

The Fits Everybody t-shirt bra, which is a bra that I found on TikTok a while ago.

It is the best t-shirt bra I've ever owned.

I suffered from a lot of back problems and I actually went to physical therapy and then I ended up getting a new bra and I found most of my back problems to be fixed and the bra was the fits everybody t-shirt bra from skims.

I love it.

It's very full coverage.

Like I like my boobs to be covered, lifted, and I got real boobs, not, you know, not, I don't have fashion boobs, that's what they call them.

No, I need, I need a forklift to keep these babies alive.

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If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know that we sent you after you place your order, select podcast in the survey, and select our show in the drop down menu that follows.

And if you are looking for a gift for your Valentine or for yourself, Skims just launched their best Valentine's shop ever, also available at skims.com.

And I believe that's a story today, right?

It is a story today.

I was thinking that synergy, vertical integration.

Today's episode is also brought to you by HelloFresh.

Whether your resolution is to save money, eat better, stress less, HelloFresh is here to help you with all three.

Say hello to your most delicious year yet with fresh ingredients and chef crafted recipes at a price that you'll like delivered right to your door.

So each HelloFresh box is packed with farm fresh ingredients and everything arrives pre-portioned right to your doorstep for less hassle and less wasted food.

So I'm new to the HelloFresh game and I feel like you, Margo, and Olivia are always doing it.

And I'm like, yeah, sure, whatever.

I actually can't do it.

Everyone knows like I could mess up a bowl of cereal.

Like I just cannot cook anything to completion if my life depended on it.

I'm inept.

However,

I just made this like paprika chicken and rice from HelloFresh and like I actually did it.

Like I did it.

Everything was chopped normally.

I seasoned everything it was so easy like you actually it's pretty much idiot proof it's amazing it's so and it's great for novice chefs like you who need a step-by-step direction but it's also great for experienced chefs like I was thoroughly enjoying watching Ben's ad hello fresh

Also, I feel like a lot of people's resolutions is to, at least for me, like I really want to stop ordering in so much.

A lot of people want to save money, eat healthier, and HelloFresh is just a great way to do that.

They also have wholesome health forward options like their calorie smart options, their protein smart recipes each week.

And they say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

And HelloFresh agrees.

So they're giving all their subscribers free breakfast for life, which means you'll enjoy a totally free breakfast item with every single HelloFresh delivery.

And that's worth waking up for.

So go to hellofresh.com slash toast free and use code toast free for free breakfast for life.

One breakfast item per box while subscription is active.

That's free breakfast for life at hellofresh.com slash toast free with code toast free.

Thank you.

HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit.

kit.

No, Ben came up with a better slogan for them.

Oh, he did in his video.

What was it?

Hello Fresh.

That's funny.

It was making me chuckle.

I'm so glad.

Yeah, no, I could watch videos of Ben chopping like ASMR style.

I find it so impressive.

Oh, wait.

By the way, I know you don't have TikTok, but I don't know if you know that like the queen of chopping and like

healthy chopping and like salads is baked by Melissa, the cupcake queen.

She's on Reels.

She's on Reels.

And she just released a cookbook, by the way.

And it's like all of her big salads.

I saw.

You feel like you should get it.

I actually have a copy because Ben is like moderating an event with her.

And I feel like it's so you and Olivia, like big, big salads.

I love big salads and I like her content and I, it's very like aspirational, but I just feel like she makes it look easy.

But when you break it down, like it doesn't look easy.

Like

it looks like very hard.

But she's just skilled at it, you know, but it would take me like an hour.

Amazing chopper.

Yeah, it would take me an hour to make what she calls a 10-minute meal.

No, and then, like, I, like, she always starts the video with the salad being done, and she's always eating salad off a chip.

Like, that is so unique.

That's something you would do if you ate salad, though.

Yeah, like, instead of a fork, she uses like a tostito.

You love eating off a chip.

I love.

By the way, who doesn't?

No, everyone likes a chip, but like, you will eat, you eat, like, rice off a chip, taco meat, chili, like, everything.

Okay, I don't know if I eat rice off a chip.

You just, like, eat off a chip, which is why it's so surprising that you don't like macros.

You're getting confused.

Tacos,

what you're thinking I do with chips, I do with rice.

No, no, no.

You do both things.

By the way, I think I'm going to take out.

Oh, I know I said I was going to go on a chili fest until the Super Bowl, but it's such a chilly day.

Treat yourself, Turd.

But Ben's not here.

I'm going to have to make it myself.

It's going to be a good idea.

Goodness gracious.

I know.

Like, help.

Yeah.

No, don't do it.

Order in.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Get chili from like PJ Clark's or something.

Or Wendy's.

No, you know what has good kosher chili?

What?

Mocha burger.

Ben got it the other day.

Done.

Done.

I think it was turkey too.

Yeah.

Okay, let's get into the stories.

Our first story, you know, in light of the ads that you shared, Lana Del Rey stars in Skims' new Valentine's Day campaign.

So Skims always on the pulse and their Valentine's Day collection came out.

Lana Del Rey is the face of it.

Not only is she Lana Del Rey, but she was in the news this week because of Coacheller.

So it's so, it's everything's coming up, Lana Del Rey this week.

No, they really kill it.

Like there's never been a campaign that isn't like so on point.

I feel like she's also like, and the vibe of it, which was like very retro, like heart-shaped bed.

It's so Lana Del Rey.

No, the images are truly stunning and beautiful and creative, artistic, and makes you want to buy what she's selling.

And I think a lot of people are quaking about this because Lana's like low-key really close with Taylor Swift.

They did Snow on the Beach and they both are like connected through Jack.

Jack Antonoff.

And like, this is now the second collection, like Brittany Mahomes and Lana Del Rey, where it's like Taylor's best friends modeling for skims.

Now, I don't think Lana's her best friend.

And with Brittany Mahomes, I do feel like she shot it before she ever even met Taylor, but it's still interesting.

I feel like the Brittany Mahomes was more of a smoking gun than this.

And as we've stated, like, Kim has no problem reaching out to Taylor's friends and being in Taylor's world.

It's Taylor.

who will never.

And she also, like, these are her friends.

And they might not be, like, her bestest friends in the world who you could, like, I could say to my bestest friend on earth, Turdy, you can't talk to this person.

You can't work with this person.

But my wider network of friends, you can't be so controlling.

And I think Taylor is that way as well.

I agree.

Yeah.

So beautiful stuff.

Happy almost Valentine's Day.

That snuck up on us.

But wait, I'm sorry.

Back to to the Taylor and Kim thing because, like, that's my Roman Empire.

It really is.

Kim, like, the last time she spoke about it was on Watch Trappens Live, and Andy was like, what's the status with Taylor Swift?

And Kim was like, over it.

It's done.

But she didn't say that they ever spoke.

Kim was just like, I'm personally moving on from this.

But

it wasn't her thing to move on from.

No.

She wasn't the one who needed to move on.

No.

And Taylor is still here.

Still at the restaurant.

Still sitting in the corner eye haunt.

Yeah.

That's her.

And she'll always be there.

There's no way out for them.

That's her Roman Empire, too.

Yeah, like that's her cancellation.

She was just talking about in her Time magazine thing.

Like, it's not happening.

And by the way, I find this a lot

with people who have gotten canceled.

People are always like, get over it.

It was so many years ago.

Like, whenever I see like a clip on TikTok, when somebody asked Sophia Franklin about like her thing, they're like, oh my God, this girl's still talking about it.

Like, how can you not?

Like, we talk about ours all the time.

And people are always like, get over it, get over it.

You literally, you have to experience it to understand.

you guys you never get over it like it's so crazy you never get over it and there are some people whose theirs is just like bigger you know like sophia franklin will never get over it should never get over it and could never get over it agree because what happened was so crazy crazy and huge not even just the thought like it was everywhere it was like in the new york times but

What happened from there like Spotify $60 million of course she's not over it never gonna get over it but there are people who get canceled along the way and I think it's you know it's always gonna be like a part of them and a part of their story but it's not at the level of like Sophia Franklin or even like Taylor Kim reputation that like a year off a whole year of not working like you're not fucking getting over that I'm just never gonna be one of those people to be like stop talking about it get over it like I get it it's literally traumatizing no I yeah I guess anyone who's been through it would never think that way No, and like all the girlies who get canceled, like they do come to me, you know, for advice and such.

And I always say, they're like, when will it go away?

I'm like, girl, never.

But like, you just learn to live with it.

And like, eventually, like, it becomes funny.

Yeah, no, it hardens you for sure.

And you're really not anybody until you've been canceled.

No, it's so true.

And then I always say, like, think of anybody you admire.

Like, if they have a scandal, like, you're fine.

You're literally fine.

Yeah.

Speaking, I kind of feel like this weekend I want to watch Traitors.

What's that?

It's the peacock show where they take like villains from different traitors.

Sorry, I thought you meant like traitors, like

the war of the stock exchange.

Yeah, yeah, I thought it was like a documentary about traders.

Apparently, this season has like broken all sorts of records and ratings.

It's like apparently amazing.

And I think that's a good thing to watch while I'm sick.

Super cute.

But they're like waiting for episodes.

Like that's not all out yet.

Excuse me.

Okay.

Annoying.

Annoying.

Well, I just had a really great segue.

So I'm going to go back to that moment.

I'm so sorry.

Because like speaking of, you know, former scandals that you can't live down, Kelly Osborne has given an interview to Rolling Stone.

Obsessed.

And she's she's talking about a lot of things.

So, first of all, she's talking about being a Nepo baby and she's beaming with care.

That's not what we care about.

She's beaming with pride.

Well, I liked her, what she had to say.

She said, I'm a fucking Nepo baby, and I'm proud to be a Nepo baby.

I'm proud of my parents' achievements.

I think that what they have done is incredible history making.

I go so far as to say both of them are iconic, but it doesn't mean that I should automatically be given all of these opportunities.

My parents have taught me that you have to prove yourself.

I actually agree.

I like her ownership of it, but I do feel like she's been giving all these opportunities.

Like I don't know what opportunities she would have if those weren't her parents.

Not only that, like I don't know what opportunity she received that she was even remotely qualified for fashion police.

Yeah.

And page six notes, she's tried her hard at several, tried her hand at several career paths, including music, fashion, and acting.

Correct.

Yeah, just a little shady there.

And then elsewhere in the interview, she admitted that she was a self-righteous little C-word for previously asking and, you know, notoriously asking who would clean the toilets, Donald Trump, if Latinos were kicked out of the country.

So she opened up about the comment, which has since been turned into a meme, saying her comments, quote, came out so wrong and she feels as though this country was quote built on immigrants.

Speaking out now about the viral remarks, she described herself as a self-righteous little C-word in the video, quote, I hate it.

I hate it so much because I look at it and I'm like, you think you know everything and you know nothing.

Nobody wants to hear your opinion on this.

I feel very strongly that Latin American culture is the backbone of America.

I believe that Latin Americans are the hardest working people you will ever meet.

So I feel like so conflicted about this because can you imagine like you accidentally say, like, I don't think Kelly Osborne is like a bad person who like feels this way.

Like, can you just imagine like saying something unintentionally, like really fucked up?

And for years, and by the way, 10 years later, it's more popular than ever.

It's a trend on TikTok.

Is it?

Yes, people do like, they're making it their own.

So you just replace like, if you kick every blank out of this country, then who's gonna blank?

So people are getting really creative.

Like if you kick every angsty teen out of this country, then who's gonna smoke you?

Put Donald Trump.

Like people are making up their own.

It's mine.

That was a bad example, but like people are being really funny about it.

I'll send them to you.

So it's like another wave of people talking about this.

I'm like, I do sympathize with like your worst moment becoming truly a cornerstone of culture.

Like it's hard.

It's weird.

It is hard, but at least for her.

She said that shit.

It's the peep, like people aren't letting it go, but I don't feel like she was ever, there was no ever like retribution.

I don't feel like she ever got canceled or fired or anything, you know.

So, even now, like, y'all joke about it, but here's Kelly Osborne in Rolling Stone.

No, it's so true, you know.

There's not like it's not like she's been punished, so I don't know what's worse to like be immediately punished for your actions, but then like people move on, or people don't move.

You never were punished, or it had consequences, but people follows you for it.

People don't move on.

That's an interesting

two options.

I don't know.

And like,

it must be really painful for her, but it's so funny.

No, and I just need her to not get upset over it because it's so funny.

Like, yeah.

And the best is like the way she peddles back.

Like, everybody ends it after like Donald Trump, but then everyone's like, uh, no.

And she's like, no, no, in the sense that.

Yeah, you know, in the sense that, you know, what I mean, I didn't mean it like that.

Come on.

No, it's so funny.

Like, honestly, if anything, like, I think it might have been good for Kelly Asburen.

She's really, like, cemented herself truly as a fixture in culture because that thing will never die.

It's getting more powerful as the days go by.

Yeah, it's true.

And if she wants to get back into music, she could like remix it.

Back?

Yes, she tried her hand at music at one point.

But she could.

Honestly, say.

Yeah, I know.

DJ with no job.

No, I released two iconic songs.

I think I need to get back.

I need to get back into music.

Really?

Do you have more to say?

Yeah, it goes a little something like this.

Since nobody picked up my original song, I'll just make it myself.

I like being alone too much to dance with you.

You honestly should make that song.

I know.

I know.

Why did my mind go to DJ?

I don't know.

You obviously don't think of me as an accomplished musician, which means I have more work to do.

Yeah, it's not.

It wasn't top of mind.

I've kind of like forgotten about toast and

Well, I haven't.

And millions of others.

No, millions.

No, no, but like, I haven't thought about it in a while.

It's more like it.

Like.

That was like, honestly, like, low-key, like, such an iconic thing for me to do.

Iconic.

Like, we need anthems in the culture, in the show.

Like, and you just, you put out the song you wish to see in the world.

Exactly.

But, anyways, I feel, or you could do a remix of this.

Then who would be cleaning your toilets, Donald Trump?

Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump.

Who's going to clean your toilets?

No, I'm crying.

Crying.

Oh, my God.

It's so funny.

But I do think.

I feel like a TikTok DJ has definitely already done that.

Oh, you got to find it and send it to me.

But I do think her description of herself in this clip is a self-righteous.

She doesn't see where it is extreme, but calling, like, that was the energy of the comment, just extremely self-righteous.

And it's clear that she's self-aware.

And

that's all you can hope for.

So, no, it's true.

And like, I believe she's changed.

I don't think she's like a crazy, like, anti-Latina queen.

No, no.

She was just like a brat who thought she was like making a point.

And she was not, actually.

Yeah.

And in trying to, like, call someone else racist, she was being incredibly racist.

Racist.

Yeah.

She was giving pot.

kettle.

Yeah.

But, and I feel, I do feel for her that she will likely never love this this jam

She will will never and honestly She needs to learn to live with it because it's not going away So like she needs to I don't know like go to therapy or sometimes it can feel you know great to like take your power back get in on it, you know something that's what I'm saying like to make a song out of it maybe exploit it so much that people get sick of it.

That's always a good strategy.

Exactly.

But I just so

much I don't see a world in which I'm ever sick of this.

I know.

But what if like she really like ruins it?

It's a good strategy.

I'd like to hear an interview from some of the other women at the table

who were there and like what was going through their minds.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, they talk every day, those women.

So.

But I don't think some of

half of them are on the show still.

Yeah.

I guess it was a really long time ago.

Yeah.

It was like Rosie Perez.

Yeah, but the other one is still there.

Joe, Joy, and Whoopi.

Oh, yeah, they're always there.

They're always there.

Okay, well, sadly, we have to move on from this story.

But we never truly will.

But we're still here.

Yeah, we are.

And we will continue to be here.

If you're looking for notice.

If you're looking for us.

Yeah, we'll be right here.

We'll be right here.

Our next story.

Madonna has been sued for false advertising after starting her Brooklyn concerts two hours late.

Matana, Matana.

Matana, Graham.

Matrona, Matana.

Madonna and Live Nation Nation have been sued by two fans for false advertising after she started her shows late.

Concert goers Michael Fellows and Jonathan Hayden argued in their class action lawsuit obtained by TMZ Thursday that Madonna was not punctual during her celebration tour stops at Barclay Center in Brooklyn.

The performances were supposed to start at 8.30 Eastern Time, but the singer did not take the stage until 10:30 p.m.

Eastern Time.

They claim she showed up late to all three of her shows at the New York venue, which took place in December 2023.

In the suit, the plaintiffs state that the late start constituted, quote, a wanton exercise in false advertising, negligent misrepresentation, and unfair and deceptive trade practices.

They are suing for unspecified damages.

These are two fucking losers, um, like wasting their time and money.

Like, it's really annoying, and it actually is rude that Madonna makes people wait.

Like, I don't care who the fuck you are.

Like, people paid to be here, they got sitters, like, you're a pain in my ass.

Having said that, like, putting together a class action lawsuit, like, you need a hobby.

You need a hobby, you need a life.

Like, this is some of the most losery behavior I've ever witnessed in my life.

Yeah, also, it was on a weeknight, so part of their complaint is that they had to go to work the next morning.

But if they truly, like, had demanding jobs, they wouldn't have time to be doing

nonsense, such as this, right?

They have all this time and money for litigation.

Like, please, yeah, I mean, I guess we'll see how it pans out.

Like, is this really cause for a suit?

And if not, and they lose, don't they have to pay her legal bills?

Yes, I just don't.

Uh-oh, Spoolie's back.

I, Yes.

I don't think that they'll win.

Well, I feel like they think they'll win if they're doing this.

Unless they're just doing it for attention.

Classic.

Classic.

Like, I get that.

Doing something for attention.

Like, that I relate to.

Yeah, I feel like they must have some sort of case.

I look for, I'm interested to see how it plays out.

Like, what are the legalities here?

Is it false advertising?

Yeah.

You know?

know then it would like set a precedent for like every performer but even the performers like it says seven o'clock but you know that's the opener right but there is a show that starts at seven yeah i guess that's true

interesting sort of if you're like loser oh weenies of the week contenders oh let me write that down i actually completely agree Those freaks suing Madonna.

Are you ready for our next story?

It's number four, so I feel like you're not.

Oh my God, no, I'm not.

Thank you.

How did you know that about me?

I can read my turd.

Muttered, muttered, muttered.

Reading about, muttered,

muttered.

Okay.

Today's episode is brought to you by Cygnos and the Cygnos program, where you can get access to your continuous glucose monitor and have it mailed right to you.

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Our next story, a Wizards of Waverly Play sequel pilot has been ordered at Disney Channel.

Selena and David Henry are among the cast.

So a pilot for a Wizards of Waverly Play sequel series has been ordered at Disney Channel.

Variety has confirmed.

Original series star David Henry will star in and executive produce the potential series with original star Selena Gomez to guest star in the pilot and executive produce.

He will

reprise the role of Justin Russo.

She'll be Alex Russo

and that's...

Wasn't there another brother?

Jake Tioski.

Yeah, the little one.

Like, here's the thing.

I think for a lot of people my age, like, Wizards of Waverly Place was their Roman Empire.

Like, people talk about the finale.

Like, it was, like, made them cry or whatever.

Personally, I must have missed out on that chapter.

Like, I was very much in that era of like Sunny with a Chance, Hannah Montana, like, loved, love, loved.

Never really resonated with Wizards of Waverly Place.

So, this is actually meaningless to me.

And I guess the only thing I really, truly feel is happiness for those two people who host the Wizards of Waverly Place recap podcast.

Yeah.

Because hopefully they're going to get back to work in the show that shot them to stardom.

Yeah.

Or even if they don't, like, there's another show about wizards, like, they can recap that.

There's so much.

No, it, because that one of the hosts was Alex Rousseau's dad, and the other one was Harper, her best friend.

Like, Yeah.

No.

They were main characters.

Yeah, no, but this is just all around great for their podcast.

This is like surprising

on everyone's count.

What will the show be about?

It's going to be on Disney Channel.

So it's like, is it for us, the people who used to watch Wizards?

Now I'm going to be watching the Disney channel.

No, but also, I believe at the end of the show, spoiler alert.

Like the whole show was that the three siblings were wizards.

And then when they turned 18,

there was this competition between them.

Only one of them came out a wizard.

And, you know, Justin was the smartest one, and everybody thought it was going to be Justin Russo, the oldest brother.

But then at the end, like, where everybody was crying, he like gives it to Selena or something.

But Selena was always the craftiest one.

Like,

I would have thinking

that.

She's the only wizard.

So if it's a show where she's only guest cameoing in the pilot,

do we need her?

She's the wizard.

You're a wizard, Harry.

Yeah, I don't know.

When you spell it out like that, it's pretty silly.

But now I have to think, like, I actually, Wizards Wavely Place is a good show.

And actually, Alex Russo's character was like very funny and it was very cute.

Yeah, cute.

But I never like loved it as much as say Hannah Montana.

So now I have to put myself in the shoes of like, if Hannah Montana were coming back on the Disney channel, Miley was reprising her role.

I would be so excited.

Except I don't know how it could be the kind of show that we need it to be while being on the Disney channel.

Right.

Like it's a show for kids.

I feel like it's going to be giving Ravens home energy where it's like Alex and her brother have kids and like they're wizards now and they show up in a few episodes kind of like Fuller House.

Yeah.

But how old could their kids be?

Selena's 30.

10.

20 year old?

She got pregnant.

Yeah, no, no, no.

No, no, no, never mind.

But she could play someone who's 35.

That's true.

I don't know.

Or maybe they're like teachers at the wizard school.

Classic.

What would you want a Han Montana sequel to be?

See, I don't know because it's like so perfect in its entirety, but I would never turn down like an opportunity.

But I think she's like

still Hannah.

Still leading a double life.

Like she has kids who know she's Hannah, but like her friends at their friends at school don't know that their mom is like the biggest star.

And so they like are mean to the kids and they're like, we have VIP tickets to Hannah Montana and you can't come.

But then like the kid gets pulled on stage by Hannah Montana, becomes the most popular kid at school, but the kid doesn't want it because they weren't nice to her before that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wait, I'm obsessed.

And Grandpa Billy Ray?

GBR obsessed.

Uncle Jackson.

Uncle Jackson, Aunt Lily.

Uncle Oliver.

Lily's probably still living in the guest house.

Like she was low-key a freeloader, but okay, go off, queen.

And Oliver is troublesome these days, yeah?

I believe he was just arrested for meth.

Mitchell Muso.

Yeah.

That hair.

Oh, what would the hair?

What would would Jackson's hair be now?

I'm obsessed with the actor who plays Jackson.

He seriously is one of the greatest comedic actors of our time.

Like he was low-key hysterical.

I know.

Not just because we were kids.

Like, I watch it.

Now they even had him on Tana movie.

Like, I chuckle.

Like, his physical comedy was on point.

He's really so funny, and he deserves more.

I completely agree.

Like, he should be on SNL, like, deadass.

I totally agree.

Like, I feel like the industry has failed him.

I completely agree.

I'm trying to see what else he's done.

No, don't look it up because it's nothing and it's going to make us sad.

Like, high school musical, the musical, the series.

Excuse me?

Who is he in it?

I'm not sure.

Well, that's what's coming to Disney.

Let's see if it actually happens.

It's giving Lizzie Maguire.

Oh, actually, did you think Lizzie McGuire made waves?

Why?

So she went on Good Guys?

Well, yes.

The first, oh my God, Ben is obsessed with Lala Kent.

He interviewed her yesterday for Good Guys,

and he was like, fuck Randall.

Like, he's obsessed.

Like, he just learned about this whole thing.

Oh, that's an exciting place to be.

Because

remember how we felt?

Like, and also we were first introduced to Lala.

Like, she's the coolest girl on the planet.

No, totally.

But wait.

Oh, the creator of the Lizzie Maguire reboot that got like booted.

did finally share what the plot of the show was going to be.

And

it was so uninteresting, I forgot it.

Lizzie's a chef and Gordo's about to get married and he's expecting a baby with some girl.

Lizzie's a chef.

Yeah, I thought that was weird.

I thought that was weird for sure.

And Lizzie and Gordo aren't together or she's going to be a little bit more.

She wants to stop the wedding.

Yeah, right, right, right.

With her chef, with her food.

Wait, she's going to bring a knife.

With her wares.

This cake is so tasty.

I think I should marry Lizzie.

She gets hired as like the caterer.

So like, it's literally giving the wedding planner.

Like she spends a lot of time with the bride and groom like making cakes and shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And falls back in love with Gordo.

It doesn't sound terrible.

No, it was a movie or a show.

A show.

It's supposed to be like a series on Hulu.

It's kind of like not enough for a show.

I agree.

And also like, I might really be like offending our core millennial audience, but like Lizzie Maguire like was epic for a period in time.

And that's it.

Like it wasn't like Hannah, like, or even for some people, Wizards of Way Willie Plays, like, it wasn't brought with us.

Like, we left her in adolescence.

It was kind of like the dumbest fucking show on the planet.

Like, yeah, she was a moment in time.

Exactly.

I agree.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Yes.

It's a little food news.

I feel like it's been a while.

A little food news.

Subway introduces foot-long churros, pretzels, and cookies at stores nationwide.

Wait, how do you make a foot-long cookie?

I'm looking at it, Turdy.

It looks like like a cookie that's in the shape of a ruler.

Thank you.

Okay, that's the perfect descriptor.

Like, I know how a pretzel can be

cylindrical.

I know how a churro can be cylindrical.

Of course.

Oh, the pretzels look good.

Honestly, I feel like a pretzel, like a soft baked pretzel, especially from a fast food place, is like so easy to get right.

And there's nothing tastier.

Yeah, but Anti-Anne's like kind of has a corner on the market.

However, do you live near a subway?

Because we should try these in our Mucban the next time we.

We should.

Let me do Subway Near Me search.

I know you wouldn't know because you'd never set foot in a Subway.

Well, I can't step foot in because then I'll smell like it for the rest of my days.

But I could pull up.

I could pull up.

Yeah, there are Subways aplenty.

Subway, pull up.

So yeah, we should definitely Mook Bong this Foot Long Cookies, Foot Long Churros.

I feel like we had talked about Foot Long Cookies and we already had like, you know, a

bussing dialogue about it.

A bussing dialogue.

Well, I feel like there's no.

This should be the name of the show.

Thank you.

Yes.

Title today is Bussing Dialogue.

Bussing Dialogue.

I

fuck.

What was I going to say?

I feel like there's no.

Yeah, I don't feel like any fast food chain has kind of cornered the market on churros.

No, not in my estimation.

Not in my day.

Like, I, if you say, like, who has the best nuggets?

Like, everything's been covered.

Chocolate chip cookies.

Like, who even has a churro?

i don't know claudi

claudi

i thought i'd try something new i feel like i've said turd so many times in this episode like oh man please do not call me claudie like i don't like that at all back to turd back to you in the studio turd why don't you call me claudia

back to you claudia Because I'm not mad at you.

Literally.

Yeah.

I will definitely be trying these churros.

What was the other one?

Pretzel and Cookie.

They are available.

Here are the important dates you need to know.

Starting January 22nd, they're in a brand new category for the brand.

Okay.

Claudia.

Claudio.

Claudia.

For the fast casual spot.

The category is called Subway Sidekicks.

So cute.

I don't know why they have to like make a thing for everything.

I know the menu.

Because it's someone's job and they need to earn their paycheck, but like, that should be my job.

What would you have called it if they came out with three desserts for Subway?

Okay.

Ugh, like, I'm so put on the spot.

They have like hours of team meetings about this, and I have two seconds.

No, and you could do better.

Come on.

What did they call it?

I mean, for me, it would be Subway Sweet Treats, but that's just me.

No, for me, it would be Subway Sweet Treat.

Sweet Treat.

By the way, that actually is better, Subway Sweet Treat.

Versus Subway Sidekicks.

They also like me to change the name of Subway because it's giving Subway.

It's giving rat

rat energy.

The rats don't run this subway.

We do.

That is so true.

We do run this subway.

Once we pull up.

Yeah,

in the mom car.

I know.

You know what?

I was oggling a minivan yesterday that was driving in front of me.

No, you weren't.

And I was just like, I'm sure it's so convenient.

Like ample space.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Stop.

I'm sure it drives so smooth and safe.

And now, the thing is, though, since I drive a Tesla, I'll only drive a Tesla for the rest of my life because

you know how big a minivan is?

Like, you could never, it's a bus.

I need a Tesla minivan.

And I feel like because Elon has...

Well, no, the family Tesla is the Model Y, which I have.

The Model X is a little bigger.

It's a family car.

Yeah, it's a mid-size SUV.

No, they don't have like a wagony or Tesla.

David Dobrik, I remember when I used to watch his vlogs, had a Tesla with a third row.

So the Model X is a little bit bigger than the Model Y.

It has those Batmobile doors, which are just a bit much.

I know, and also like really not, what are you going to pull up to like, you know, the kids' playground with your Batmobile?

Right.

But I've also heard that the doors going up that way are actually really convenient for getting kids in the car.

And when it's raining, they act as a bit of a shield.

Yeah, I've heard they're actually like really good for that, but I'm sorry.

We need to circle back.

We have to circle back to the minivan.

And this is not a slight against minivans because I know it's like, you need it.

They serve a purpose.

Of course.

But, and this is just me being totally honest with the audience.

And I know we have moms who drive minivans and I like respect.

They're so fugly.

But the thing is, when you are in the car, you don't see what it looks like.

And so everybody else has to suffer through the eyesore, but you're enjoying that.

You're in a literal spaceship for kids.

It's no, you're literally in a hearse.

Like, it's so big.

Yeah.

And yeah, of course, moms need space, but like, honestly, low-key minivans have too much space no but like it's it's a party

yeah i mean i guess like i could see you know with the with the tvs on the back of the screen like it's it's classic childhood stuff like go to the soccer game changing in the back like i get it yeah you have room for everything but until there's a tesla minivan i can't participate but i do think elon with his 10 kids like should be giving us the minivan of our dreams.

Just like how he reinvented the pickup truck with the cyber truck.

Right.

Don De Astar minivan, except after reading the Elon book and he talks about everything that he hopes to accomplish accomplish in the future, like we know what's coming, the minivan was not on the docket, unfortunately.

Shit.

There was no mention of one.

Fuck.

Fuck.

So before we wrap up, we have remembered today that it's Friday, and that means our new segment will be airing.

It's Queenie and Weenie of the Week, where Jackie and I both nominate someone or something to be the queenie of the week and the weenie of the week.

Now, of course, the queenie of the week is somebody who did something fabulous this week.

The name on everybody's lips, if you will.

Weenie of the week is somebody who did something so illusory.

It could be a person, a place, or a thing.

It's really up for interpretation.

It is.

I'm just going to briefly look through what the stories were this week to see if I'm like missing something.

So

my queenie of the week is not a person.

It's more of like a place and a group of people.

Okay.

And, you know, this one goes out to the girls from Detroit.

I feel like, you know, they were really upset by what we said and they could have, you know, they could have, they came for us, but like they were low-key respectful about it.

Like I didn't see anything rude.

And when it comes to, when it comes to sports, like when we get stuff wrong, people are so fucking rude to us.

Like, get a grip.

And I felt like the Detroit girlies were sad to hear what we had said, but they weren't disrespectful.

And that's queeny behavior.

It is.

I'm sorry.

I agree.

And people were commenting, like, no, this is Detroit's time.

Right.

It's been 66 years.

And I just want to say, like,

we shall soon see, you know?

And I want to say that.

Yes, we were right that one time about the Kansas City Chiefs, but we've often been extremely wrong.

So I'm very open to being wrong.

And if I'm wrong, I will eat my words.

No, and I'm riding for the 49ers.

If the time comes where the 49ers are no longer in this thing, I will ride for Detroit.

They're my backup team, okay?

They are not Kansas City.

No, no.

What have the Kansas City girls done for me?

You don't want to see Taylor storm the field?

Oh, fuck.

Yeah, but by the way, the

Lions and the Niners, I believe, are like in the same league.

Like, so I think it could be like Lions versus Chiefs.

Got it.

Don't quote me on that.

But do you think it could be Sharks versus Jets or no?

Yes, I do.

I think it's actually entirely possible.

Got it.

Who is your queenie of the week?

My queenie of the week is Ballerina Farm.

I do think she'll win Mrs.

World.

She's already our Mrs.

American, not America, by the way.

And she's the queenie of my heart.

She is the most impressive woman I've ever laid eyes on.

And I just want to miss her many mazels in the birth of her child.

Lesson 2.

And don't let the haters stop you from, you know, doing your thing.

No.

And she's just an inspiration to millions, and I'm one of them.

So she's my queenie.

Honorable mention to Kristen Yuszchek, who was also a queenie of this week.

Nature queenie.

Now, my weenie of the week is a man whose name you don't know.

It's Adam Schefter.

Okay.

And he is a sports reporter who apparently was the first to like leak Jason Kelsey's retirement, thus like ruining the moment for him.

And I found out that he did the same thing to Tom Brady.

And that's why Tom Brady unretired, just so he could make his, like, take his own retirement and make his own moment.

And apparently, this little shit, Adam Schefter, like, has just a history of doing this, like, it's like a pattern, and he's like a little bit of a prick.

So, my weenie of the week is Adam Schefter for taking that moment away from Jason Kelsey.

I don't think Jason Kelsey is going to do what Tom Brady did and like do it all again just so he could have his own moment.

But yeah,

interesting.

Yeah, that's that's weenie behavior.

It's by the way, it's literally the definition of being a weenie.

MWB, major weenie behavior.

MWE, major weenie energy.

So I guess my weenie, it wasn't a week full of weenies, to be honest.

I know, which is so refreshing.

But my weenies are going to be those men who are suing Madonna.

Agreed.

Like,

you're going to be okay.

Just stop it.

Stop.

Stop existing.

Stop

wasting people's time, energy, resources, court appointments.

Stop it.

It's an abuse of the justice system.

Yeah, but let's see what the justice system has to say for itself, you know?

Right, maybe we'll be eating our words.

Yeah, the wheels of justice turn slowly, but the cogs work mighty fine.

Is that the second half of that phrase?

I def I, no, like, no, I changed it, but the sentiment is the same.

I can never remember the second half of it.

The wheels of justice

turn slowly.

Quote.

The wheels of justice turn slowly, but grind fine.

I like yours better.

But the cogs are what?

The cogs

work.

I forget what I said.

Okay, well, good thing we recorded it.

Another one is the wheels of justice turn slowly, but exceedingly fine.

Yeah, that works.

I actually don't know if I believe that to be true.

The wheels of justice grind slow, but fine.

No, I mean,

you don't think it's true?

No, it takes a while.

It could take a very long while, but eventually.

The wheel turns.

Not always.

Really?

What are you thinking of in particular?

You don't want to say?

i don't know i'm just like not like not gonna lie i'm just like over this conversation like you started it i was just like complimenting your use of words you know oh okay okay i didn't know it was gonna turn into an interrogation about like my thoughts on the legal system i didn't know that no i don't mean the legal system actually i actually feel like the legal system sometimes it doesn't i mean like in public opinion like the truth coming out sometimes it takes no No, people are dumb and ugly and the wrong people always get screwed.

Like the right people, the wrong people always get screwed.

I feel that way i actually agree with you thank you when you put it like that and i have a i can think of a couple instances oh my god i'm starving what are you gonna have me to for lunch i actually think i'm gonna have soup because like i really don't feel good

is chili soup I know, but I don't mind because I ordered my soup from Second Avenue Deli and they give you two pieces of chala with the soup.

And let me tell you, their fucking chala is so goddamn good.

Best hala, period.

Period.

I sometimes order a whole loaf.

It's only seven bucks.

Yeah, if you're looking for a great hala, Second Avenue deli.

I guess like seven bucks for a loaf of bread, which is like the most basic food.

Like it used to be a quarter.

That's why people make their own sourdough turdy.

Listen, I kept it at HelloFresh.

I want to see turdy in the kitchen making sourdough.

Someone's in the kitchen with turdy.

Someone's in the kitchen.

I know who.

Well, that's our show.

Thanks for a great week, you guys.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast of the Millennium Morning Show, Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So you're watching us on YouTube.

Please leave a free subscribe.

Give me this video, thumbs up.

We're also available so I can see us in our podcast.

We found out Spotify, Tisjo, Bobby, Radio, IRA, Guest Podcast, all the place by visiting podcasts, find us at Toastlife Fest.

We've been listening and giddily talented.

We are.

Have an amazing weekend.

I guess we'll find out what Jackie's doing on Monday.

It's not a big secret.

It sounds like it is.

It's really not.

It's really, really not.

Well, I can't wait to hang up this recording so I can find out what the fuck it is.

You know what it is.

Act it out out for me.

Like do charades.

Okay, one second.

Can she take your headphones off?

What?

Oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

I did not realize that that was this weekend.

Yep.

Okay, that was a pretty good clue.

That was a good clue.

So tune in Monday to find out.

Oh, oh, wait, you guys are going to want to tune in Monday.

What we're doing and what the clue was.

Oh my God.

Love.

Love it.

Tune in Monday.

You're not going to want to miss this.

Love ya.

Bye.

Love ya.

Bye.