Homesteading Trad Wife: Tuesday, January 16th, 2024

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the Chosen Happy Tuesday.

That feels like a Monday.

That feels like also like a Thursday.

How is everyone doing?

It is blizzarding here in New York.

It's just like so not the vibe, you know?

Like, except for the vibe,

like, fuck off.

I like.

Oh, we're on totally different wavelengths because we're expecting a cold front this week and it's just not coming fast enough for your girl.

Well, that I understand because, like, you decided to live in Florida for some reason and it's like so hot and miserable.

So, of course, you would be looking forward to a cold front.

Okay.

So if you're not looking for Mexican climate, Floridian climate, nor New York climate right now, what are you looking for, Turge?

No, no, it's a good question.

It's a good question.

I am looking for 65 and sunny.

I am always looking for 65 and sunny.

Yeah.

I think like San Diego is always 65 and sunny.

Not Ben Soffer being in San Diego right now.

Of course.

Classic Ben.

You want to hear the craziest thing?

I mean, you know it already because I told you, but Ben and I were in Mexico together and we flew home separately.

I flew home to New York.

He flew home.

He flew to San Diego.

And we both have the same suitcase.

It's a black away carry-on.

And when we got out of the car, we were like, by the way, make sure we have each other's correct bags before we get on the plane because we're going on separate planes.

And my plane is literally taking off.

And Ben calls me and he's like, I have your bag.

I thought you checked.

What did the check entail?

That could be wrong.

We didn't check.

Oh, but you said, make sure you have your right bag.

Yeah, we were were like later before we like, you know, officially part ways, let's make sure.

Yeah.

We didn't.

For me, like, I don't really care because I'm going home.

I have everything I need at home, you know?

Ben is going on a week-long work trip, speaking at a conference this morning with literally a suitcase full of bathing suits and cover-ups and like sparkly dresses.

Well, he could sell your wares and buy some things for himself.

So he hit up a Nordstrom rack last night.

Beautiful.

He said he got some great things.

I'm sure he did.

I'm sure he loved the opportunity to do a last-minute shop.

But, like, when I tell you, Bennis doesn't panic really ever.

He's stressed.

And I was honestly like, you're being a little dramatic.

Like, you're not going to a third world country.

Like, you're going to California.

Go to a mall.

You're a boy.

You're not going to a gala.

Like, you're speaking at a conference.

Buy a button down and some jeans.

Like, please.

And he was really being like, ask the flight attendant if they could turn.

I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?

Ask the flight attendant if they couldn't turn.

He was being like so nuts.

And I was like, listen, I know it's not ideal, but like, you need to get a grip.

Now, if it had been me totally different like makeup glam like so different for girls for a boy i really wanted to be like grow up

yeah still you're headed towards civilization you can replace some things but it's not about like will i even access a dress it's like

it's the dress no he's like podcasting like what do you wear on a podcast like literally a t-shirt please please yeah if you were going to la for like a week of podcasting and you lost your things it would be extremely inconvenient but like you would survive no i would spend one hour at the beverly center and i would be completely fine.

At Bloomingdale's, a Macy's, like, please.

Yeah, Ben will be fine, and he loves to shop.

Loves.

Now, I want to preface that I'm not sick and I'm not crying either.

But you are hoarse.

And did you jewel?

No.

Wow.

So what's the point of not jeweling if you're still going to get a hoarse voice?

I just spent like the whole weekend screaming and not getting a lot of sleep, you know?

Yeah.

Hold on.

I'm like really not okay.

Are you sticky shoes?

Have you given it a spin?

Honestly, I'm a little far gone.

Sticky shoes, like, I just sound bad.

We'll take a listen.

Okay.

My sticky, sticky shoes.

That's pretty good.

It's giving like Louis Armstrong.

Right?

It is giving Louis Armstrong.

Oh my God.

I'm deceased and a half.

And I know everyone's like, Claudia, you were on vacation in Mexico.

How do you come back more tired?

This was not an ordinary trip.

Like, it wasn't relaxing in the slightest.

I'm

overloaded, candy coated, my life's imploding now.

I'm good and broken.

Oh, okay.

I was like, what are you overloaded with?

But yes, I understand.

I'm good and broken.

I understand.

You're good and broken.

Well, that's good.

It looks like you had a jolly good time.

I had a blast.

Like, seriously, just up.

This is the price that you pay.

Yeah.

I'm sorry to say, like, we don't feel sorry.

No, I'm not looking for sympathy.

I am not looking for sympathy.

I just, cool.

I cannot stress that enough.

Like, no, I'm not looking for sympathy.

I'm just deeply unwell.

Tell us about your trip.

It was amazing.

My friend Crystal throws every year like a major birthday party for herself, but it's really like not for her.

It's for everyone.

Cause like.

I feel like we all have more fun than her because we're just like enjoying and she's planning for everyone.

Right.

And this year was no different.

This is like my fifth year going.

She's such a fucking legend.

And she just like went all out.

It was like four days just party, party, party.

And like so many of her friends from LA, who are are my friends from la like i got to see and i never get to see them got to meet new people i met tinks like i met tinks and let me tell you we know tell us everything

i'm obsessed like you have a new best friend no this might i don't even think

yeah you're you're out you out tinks out for 2024 2024 out tinks in tinks is in but like i wouldn't say we're best friends because like I'm obsessed with her.

Like,

she probably thinks I'm a freak, you know?

You don't think she's going on her podcast today talking about you?

Honestly, she might.

Yeah.

It just depends, you know, what she likes to talk about.

Right, right, right.

I actually feel like she's personalized.

Yeah, I actually feel like on her podcast, like, she helps other people with, like, their problems.

It's more like advice than like, here's what I did.

Hey, look at me, you know?

If you want, you could write into her podcast if you need some friendly advice.

Hey, I met this girl.

No, I just had the best time.

Like, the weather was perfect.

I really worked so hard on my outfits because crystal themes every night.

So the themes were like disco, Playboy Club, and like White Party.

So you have to, and everybody really does the most.

So you don't want to be someone who's like just wearing something from Amazon.

You know, you have to like really work hard.

I spent like two weeks on my outfits.

I feel like I really crushed it in every sense.

And I just had so much fun.

I'm like so upset that it's over.

And I don't know what to do.

Like I'll never be the same.

Well, don't cry because it's over.

Smile because it happened.

So true.

And look back on the memories.

In the words of Fallout Boy, thanks for the memories.

Thanks, Crystal and and Tinks.

Yeah, literally.

No, I had so much fun

worth like what I'm experiencing right now, you know?

Yeah.

And I,

that's it.

Like, that's it.

Great.

Well, we're happy to have you back.

How was your long weekend?

It was lovely.

It was really a nice weekend spent with family and friends.

Quite different from yours, but

it was different.

I was with family and friends, too.

Tinks is like family to me.

No, but it was really nice.

It was nice to be all from the show.

Missed the show.

Missed yarn girl.

And a lot happened.

A lot did happen.

So we will get into it in the stories.

I finished The Crown.

Don't spoil it.

It was really,

don't spoil it.

It was really...

a highlight of my weekend.

I have to say, I texted you because I just thoroughly enjoyed this season.

And we have a royal story.

So I'll put some of my thoughts in there.

And then when you finish, we can do a whole thing because it was just a delight.

So we have a royal story.

Do we also have Kristen Juice Check story?

Of course, the name on everybody's lips this weekend was Kristen Juice Check.

The name on everybody's lips this weekend was Kristen Juice Check.

Juice Check.

She's in the running for Queenie of the Week.

By the way, we totally forgot to do Weenie of the Week last week.

I know.

We have to like set a reminder because it's just not.

Maybe it'll be bi-weekly.

It's like not in our DNA yet.

Like dear toasters, like I wake up on Wednesday and I know.

Yeah.

This is so new.

Like, of course, we forgot the second time we were supposed to do it.

Like

we'll get our sea lags soon.

Yeah, she is in the running for queenie of the week.

I have to like also start keeping it top of mind for me, like, when we're talking about people or just when I'm experiencing things.

Yeah,

also, with a ward show right now, like, it's ripe with fodder for Weenie and Queenie.

My queenie of the week is probably tanks.

Your queenie of the year.

Queenie of my life.

That's so crazy.

I feel like that's

what's it like?

It's like sweet life on deck of Hannah Montana.

yes yes yes that's that's so sweet life

that's so sweet life of hannah montana it's um

that's what it is it's the crossover of a generation i just feel like she's like west coast turney like we're two girls with nicknames we're like millennial icons like i really feel i really feel that way oh do you find that you guys are really similar or you are like magnets and you're attracted because you're of your differences i actually don't think we're similar at all except that like we both share this sort of love and obsession for gossip, you know?

Yeah.

But that's like a universal thing.

I actually got on a personality level.

On a personality level, actually, no, I feel like we're really like twin flames.

But in a similar way or in an attracted way?

I don't know.

Like these questions are too deep.

Like we just got along, you know?

No, but I'm asking, like, was she boisterous like turdy?

Or did she balance turdy?

Was she boisterous like turdy?

I don't know.

I'm like forgetting.

I'm like blacking out because it was like too much.

No, she's boisterous.

She's boisterous.

And, but she's different because like we're both funny, but I'm like absurdly funny and like a little wild funny, and she's like very smart funny.

Actually, she kind of reminds me of you, which is perhaps why we got along so well.

I knew there was a compliment in there for me somewhere.

Yeah, she's like witty, like, you know, she went to like grad school.

Yeah, what did she study?

Fashion, right, journal journalism,

awesome, yeah, like real, like, and she went to Stanford, like

smart, smart, and she's like decided to use her talents like for humor.

You like your friends smart?

Yeah, I do.

You surround yourself with smart people.

Do I?

I feel like, yeah, I feel like your high school friends are smart.

Yeah, they are.

They are.

Maybe I'm just like a smart person who lifts up other smart people.

You are what you attract.

What's the saying?

I don't chase.

I attract.

What is mine?

We'll find me.

That like doesn't really work here.

Also, in the crown, the queen kind of like told William like a line that came right out of TikTok.

Say it.

Like that sometimes happens.

I'll be watching a show.

I'm like, they didn't talk like that.

But she said.

Did she say, William, you are giving main character energy?

She might as well.

She said, William, what's meant for you won't pass you by?

Okay, that's like not that TikToky.

But when she said it, it made sense.

Like, and it was only after that I'm like, oh, that's like what they say.

That's meant for me will find me.

Yeah, it does sound like that classic chant.

Yeah, the manifestation.

Yeah.

What's meant for me will find me.

But of of course, the queen made it just exceptional.

On a totally separate note, on my flight home yesterday, I unfollowed almost 100 people.

Poor Kay.

I just like was getting a little out of control, like a little willy-nilly with like my follows, you know?

And I felt like my feed was filled with people I didn't want to fucking see.

Yeah.

And it just got me thinking because before I would unfollow someone, especially if they like followed me back.

I would be like, oh, this is like going to start a problem.

They're going to think I'm like mad at them or I don't like them.

And that's just not the case, you know?

Like not everyone's content is going to serve you at all different times of your life, you know?

Who were the kinds of people that you unfollowed?

Influencers, celebrities, or friends, former, like, you know, old high school people?

No, no, no, I didn't follow.

I didn't.

You really can't.

Those people who you follow, like you're locked in for life.

I didn't unfollow anyone from like high school or college.

Like it was influencers, celebs, content creators, like people with platforms.

Drop the names.

And so like some of them I followed because they followed me.

And I was like, oh, that's cool.

And that's like what we call mutuals, you know?

But then I was just like, this content doesn't serve me and so I posted this thing on my Instagram being like why can't we start like unfollowing people and not have it mean something like I don't hate you it's just like your content's not for me and you wouldn't want to hit them with the mute so then everyone was like I totally agree with this but then that's why the mute button but then I'm like okay we're really gonna like

Be like so phony and keep up appearances because you don't want it because you just don't want to follow someone and we're gonna tiptoe around people's feelings like maybe like like I don't know I just don't agree like with with babying everyone and what's the kind of content that no longer serves you?

Did you notice a theme?

Is it people who are like, what are they doing?

That's an amazing question.

Well, I just think like I followed a lot of people who were like,

at the time when I followed them, like really relevant in the culture.

Like they were on a Netflix show and then you became obsessed.

So you followed.

And now it's like, I don't care what they're up to.

Exactly.

Understood.

You want to name names or nah?

No.

But like, if you notice that I unfollowed you, you're one of the hundred.

Like just know, like, I still have love in my heart for you.

It's really, like, it's not that deep.

I think we really need to, like, desensitize ourselves to being unfollowed.

And then somebody messaged me and she, like, agreed with me.

She was like, no, Turdy, I totally feel this.

Like, I literally unfollowed you last year because like your content didn't serve me anymore.

And then I became a toaster.

So I refolled you and like now I'm loving it.

I was like, okay, wait.

This can't apply to me.

Wait a damn minute.

But no, like she's right.

Yeah.

That hurts though.

It hurts when it's like no, she threw it comes back.

She threw that shit back in my face.

Yeah.

but she's not wrong yeah but if you're gonna do it you have to be able to accept it as well so my heart goes out to the hundred

the hundred fall and follows and like maybe our like we will be reunited we salute you thank you for your service

not everything is meant to last forever you know

Yeah, so what like who else vibes?

No, and then I just like, then I was like looking at people who like followed 3,000 people just like I was checking.

I'm like, oh, does this person still follow me?

Because if they do, like, maybe I won't follow.

And I'm like, wow, you follow 4,000 people?

Like, you have no scruples.

Like, you have no standards.

Like, that's so many people.

No point where you worried about your number or like your ratio.

Ratio is not a thing when you have 3 million followers.

No, no, no, no.

But like, I don't, I was, like, I think I was at like 650.

And what are you at now?

Like 550.

So because you unfollowed up.

Right.

I just feel like 650 is like a lot of people to be following.

And I need to look at mine now.

Oh, and by the way, Instagram has this new thing, Jackie.

Jackie, look at me.

Go to who you're following.

And they tell you who you least interact with?

Yes, Ansel Elgore was my number one least interacted.

I didn't even know that I followed him.

Oh, my least interacted, Elsa Hausk.

See, like, that's weird that you follow her now.

She has good style and pleasant content.

I feel like I see it all the time.

How is she my least interacted with?

I like that.

They like let me know who I don't see.

I've seen this a lot, but it's like there's a reason I don't interact with them, but I don't mind following them.

Well, I found that little tab extremely helpful in the, you know, the hundred.

Yeah.

I follow, what did I say,

649.

I'm, I'm okay with that.

But I want to continue to be like fast and loose with my follows, so I had to make some room, you know?

Yeah, so you do care about the number.

Just a little bit, not so much.

Like Margo is obsessed with 500.

If she meets someone new and wants to follow them, she will go find someone else to unfollow to go to 499 and then go to 500 to follow that new person.

Like, that's sick.

She's cut throat.

Like, I feel like that's nuts, you know?

Like, I don't want to limit the amount of love I can receive, you know?

But I got a little out of control.

Okay.

Well, I don't think there should really be a limit.

I mean, I guess if you're following in the thousands, it's like, do we mean nothing to you?

Right.

But I feel like up until a thousand,

there's room.

What are your thoughts on unfollowing people who have passed away?

You just have to like rip it off like a band-aid well i and i feel like if it's just someone if it's someone you know like i feel like it's impossible to do but if it's a celebrity like you just kind of have to like look away and unfollow and then move on yeah like i did not unfollow virgil ablo

but mostly because he before he passed followed me so

Does the estate of Virgil Ablo use his account?

No, it's like it's not active.

It's done.

Yeah.

Got it.

Cause sometimes the estate then is like...

Right, no, no, no.

For For a while, like, Melissa Rivers was

updating Jones' Instagram.

Yeah.

I think that you can unfollow.

Obviously, it's not like the minute they die, rip, unfollow.

Yeah.

But as you comb through your followers, oh, this person is passed.

And so will I.

It's going to do like a quick unfollow.

Painful.

Yeah.

It's a weird thing.

Yeah, it is.

But so.

It's more personal than comedy.

It is.

Well, I just wanted to put that out there.

If you're part of the 100, I love you still.

Like,

maybe they'll start a support group.

Or like a hate page for me.

Well, they could just join one.

Yeah, it's so true.

You don't need to build it.

It's already there.

You build it.

They will come.

So we've got a great show.

I'm like lit for the stories.

Yeah, we could get into the stories.

It's time because we're recording late today and we've got to get the people.

The episode

today's episode is out far later than our usual time.

Like your girl needed to sleep.

Yeah.

So, without further ado, did it, did it, do, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Our first story, the name on everybody's lips this weekend, Kristen Yuzzchek, the wife of 49er star Kyle Yuzzchek, designed a custom coat for Taylor to Swift to wear to the freezing cold Kansas City Chiefs game.

And Taylor, it was one of her best looks ever.

Everyone,

who made that coat?

And Kyle Yuzzchek was going to let you know that it was his wife if you didn't already follow her but now I think around 500,000 so let me tell you how this weekend like so many people discovered oh Kyle Yuschek has a wife who's really really talented and beautiful and like has a great Instagram and they all started following her if you're a toaster you already knew that like you were kind of ahead of the game we talk about Kristen Yuszek all the time she is a toaster uh she's the best and she's always like posting really cute reels she like goes vintage shopping finds like old because her husband plays on the the 49ers, these old like jackets and jerseys, and she totally reworks them into like a pair of boots.

Like it's insane what she does.

Yeah, like every Sunday when she goes to her husband's game, she wears like a fit that she designed herself made from like reworked vintage jerseys or just regular jerseys, like always something so sickening.

And then in the last few weeks, she's been making for other people too.

Simone Biles wore one of her vests.

Right, when Simone Biles wore and like ordered from her, like it was such a big deal.

And Brittany Mahomes had worn something by her.

And then this weekend both tailored and brittany wore coats with their husband's jerseys designed by kristen and because it was like the coldest game ever it was like negative 30 degrees so all eyes were on the jackets like what is tailored to wear and she just wore one of her best outfits period to the games and everyone was like who's that girl it's kristen and i'm just obsessed with like monitoring how it's impacting Kristen Uscheck.

Before this saga, she had 113,000 followers.

As of this very moment, she has 520,000.

Like, that's insane.

Wow, that's amazing.

Also, they're going doubly viral because her husband, Kyle, is commenting on every post about Taylor's jacket being like made by the great Kristen Yuschek.

That's what I'm saying.

He was not, he was not going to let any.

Taylor Swift fan account, any major media news account, he was not going to let them talk about Taylor Swift's outfit without giving credit to his wife.

And we stand.

We stand.

Yeah, so now he's going viral for being just like a supportive king.

And it's a beautiful, beautiful story.

And I really hope that it leads to like Kristen Yuszczak should be designing like women's apparel for NFL.com.

Right.

So a lot of people are like wanting to place orders, but she doesn't like own a company.

It's really virtually impossible to sell

sportswear like.

with NFL logos on it because of the licensing.

They do not let anyone, anyone do that.

She just makes stuff for herself and for her friends.

So it's not like a business, but everyone's like, please like start up, start a a business.

She literally can't.

Right, but they should hire her if they're smart.

So the NFL should really hire her as like a creative director of their merch because like I feel like the website, the like

she try and buy a women's t-shirt.

Disgusting.

Just the shape of it.

I wonder if they've reached out like at all.

I should ask her.

But there's, yeah, let's manifest it.

Yeah, like she needs a gig.

Like there is work for her to be there's work to be done.

Like the NFL merch is horrible.

Especially for women.

Yeah.

And now that we're all obsessed with football, like we'd like a little something to wear.

It's true.

Somebody really should like jump on this.

Like Fanatics, that company, like they sell merch too.

Like somebody needs to jump on and like bring her on as like a designer.

Yeah, 100%.

Also, Taylor Lautner was wearing her jacket the next night to the Detroit Lions game.

It was Larver's Debt.

It was Larver's Debt.

And we need to talk about football because a lot is going on.

First is that the Eagles lost last night.

Yeah, well, we have an Eagles story.

So save your thoughts on the Eagles.

Second is that the Cowboys lost so momentously.

It was a depressing evening in my life.

Who do they lose to?

The Packers.

Oh, right.

And now the Niners are playing the Packers.

Yeah, it was really sad.

And I just, I kept asking Zach all these hypothetical questions.

And like, he was literally like, go away.

Shut up, bitch.

But no, he didn't say that.

He was just like,

he wasn't.

I didn't think he actually said it.

He wasn't verbally abusive.

He was just like.

Well, that's good.

That is good.

Thank you.

That's good.

I was like, would you rather lose by so much you sound annoying like you do you sound would you rather would you rather lose by so much like there was no chance of winning it's a good question oh oh okay thanks or like win it's the tightest game and and like they pull out a touchdown and you were so close to winning like i feel like that's more frustrating it's worse i would rather lose by like 50.

yeah where there was like no other parallel universe where we win yeah no i agree with you that's a good question but still it was really it was also sad because I felt like we were saying how the Cowboys like weren't a good enough team to be in the playoffs.

And like that proved that, like, they could not hold their own.

So what you're saying is like, we are analysts.

Oh, for sure.

Well, we're analyzing, whether it's good or bad.

We are analyzing.

I do feel like it's really important.

And a lot of people, like, especially from the debt area, are really mad at us because we talk so much about football, like who we think.

And we've really, I don't even think we've uttered the words Detroit Lions on this show.

And they're amazing.

Like they really are.

But like in my mind, and especially in like how the NFL and the teams like relate to the culture.

I honestly, the Detroit Lions might as well be invisible.

I don't give the Detroit Lions a first thought, let alone a second thought.

I could go years without ever thinking about the Detroit Lions.

No, and honestly, if I didn't follow Taylor and Taylor Laudner on Instagram, like I might not even know that Detroit had a team.

Like that's how irrelevant they really are.

But one thing that is in their column that I now know is that they're a team with a vowel in the middle of their acronym,

thus making them the debt.

So I just really want to quickly look something up because I think I really, truly stand by the fact, especially now that the Eagles lost, because in order to make the Super Bowl, the 49ers would have had to

beaten the Eagles and they lost to them last year.

So I really, I do firmly believe that the Niners are going to be playing the Ravens in the Super Bowl.

Like, that's what I think.

I think that's a really good guess.

And then maybe Debt will be in the semifinals.

So that's what I was, I wanted to know like how the debt team plays into this, like what division they're in and stuff.

Oh, they'll be their own conference champions, but who do they have to go up against?

The 49ers or the Ravens?

Wait, what was the question?

It's a hard question.

Take your time.

Detroit.

Which conference?

What's their name?

Lions?

Yeah.

The Lions are in NFC North.

Okay, and then search what the 49ers are in.

And God forbid it was just like East versus West.

No, and there's

divisions.

So we could look at a map of America and

NFC West.

No, wait, sorry.

Okay.

Lions are NFC North.

Niners are NFC West.

Okay, so they'll have to play each other for the NFC championship.

Yeah, I guess.

That makes sense to me.

And if that's wrong, then it just doesn't make sense.

Because AFC.

And I was saying this yesterday to my close personal friend, Kristen Yuszchek,

because we were just just talking about like how amazing what's happening.

And I said, like,

good things happen to people in waves.

Like, you have like a really good year, you know?

And I just feel like between the Taylor Swift effect and the 49ers like just being so good, I really feel like the 49ers could, like, I feel, I feel like this, it's their time.

I really do.

The Juju is strong.

And like for Olivia and Christian getting engaged and they're getting married soon.

Like, there's just so many simchas for the 49ers.

No, I really, truly, honestly believe it's their time.

And Nick Bosa being in a skims campaign when it rains, it pours.

Huge,

huge thighs.

I think it's their time too.

I do.

I really, really do.

And that's not just because, obviously, like we're close personal friends with so many of the players.

It has nothing to do with that.

Like I really just.

The toast is kind of the official podcast of the 49ers.

For sure.

When I was in Mexico this weekend on Sunday, like during the day, they set up like a big TV so everybody could watch the games.

And, you know, I was like chatting football with some folks.

And I was like, oh, who's your team?

And they were like, who's your team?

And I said, the 49ers.

And they were like, oh, are you from the Bay Area?

I'm like, no.

They're like, so why the 49ers?

And like, I just, I just, I had to say, like, I'm the official podcast of the 49ers.

That's why.

Yeah, it's the most

toasters per density.

Per capita.

Per capita in the locker room.

Exactly.

And that, and I feel like debt has the least, honestly.

Debt has the least.

Exactly.

They're in debt

to us.

Sorry to our Lions fans.

Yeah, it's on your time.

But you know what?

It might be.

What we used to say wasn't 49ers time and look at us singing a different tune.

Exactly.

We have like a pretty good sort of gauge on these types of things.

Yeah.

And the Kansas City Chiefs won their game.

Yeah, who'd they play?

Bills.

No.

No, Bills.

They're playing the Bills next.

That's going to be a hard game, by the way.

Like, I think the Chiefs and the Bills, it's anyone's game.

And I...

Especially because I think the Chiefs, oh, the Chiefs played the Dolphins, which was impossible.

It's negative 30 degrees.

The Dolphins play in the heat.

The Chiefs are used to the cold.

I also saw a reel about Dolphins Stadium, the way that it was built, is that the sun shines on the opposing team side.

The entire game, they have sun in their eyes, and they're hotter than the other side where it's shady.

Okay, that's giving like cheater.

It's giving home court advantage.

Wait, that's like really low-key crazy because like it kind of reminds me of like when the Patriots were deflating those balls.

Like a sort, like a very small detail, but it is considered cheating.

Okay.

No, but like it's not.

They well, I guess, like, how can you

chat?

I don't know if I believe that because games are at one, four, or eight.

Like, the sun is at a different spot.

Well, that's between one and four, but it's still coming in at an angle or it's overhead.

I'm just telling you what I saw in a reel.

Okay, the reel.

And then they don't play the second half of the year where the sun's like on the other side.

I'm not buying it.

I'm not buying it.

Let me Google it.

Dolphin Stadium Sun.

Cheat.

Dolphins Stadium Sun Sabotage.

By the way, title.

Love.

Say that again?

It's 30 degrees hotter on the other side.

She's, yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Wow.

So

that to me is such an extreme.

I feel like if the Chiefs and the Finns had played in Florida, the Dolphins would have won.

I'm sorry, the Chiefs and the who?

The Finns.

That's what we call them down here.

And you know what we say?

Finns up.

Fins up.

Okay, Alex Earl.

Okay, Santura.

Literally, it's giving Dan Marino and the Dolphin.

Yeah, but those are two teams that play in extreme weather.

And that's a real homecorn advantage.

So that's why the Chiefs versus Bills will be interesting because they're both cold weather players.

You're so right.

And they're doing it in Buffalo.

And there's a blizzard here.

Interesting.

Also, it's kind of like celebrity spouse versus celebrity spouse because let's be not forget, Josh Allen is dating the beautiful Haley Steinfeld.

And they're like really low-key serious.

And I'm obsessed, yeah.

And it's like, is Taylor gonna watch with her former friend, Haley?

Oh, by the way, totally forgot about like the history between those two.

Oh my god, do you know what Tinks told me?

What?

And like, it was a fact about Taylor Swift that like I didn't know.

Okay, there was like a very brief period, like maybe a week back in the day, where Taylor Swift dated Evan Spiegel.

Did you know that?

No,

is that crazy?

That's a fun fact.

Yeah, Tinks tinks was full of them.

Oh, I'm sure.

Tinks this, tinks that.

What about me?

I feel like all we talk about is tinks these days.

Anyways, tinks and Kristen Yuszchek sounds about right.

Okay, like circling back, so happy for Kristen Yuszczek.

Seriously.

Yeah.

Seriously.

And the cream always rises, you guys.

It's so true.

Are you ready for our next story?

More football news.

Yes.

Jason Kelsey tells his teammates that he's retiring from the NFL after 13 seasons with the Eagles.

So the Eagles lost last night, and Jason announced to his teammates in the locker room that he will be retiring.

So obviously it's not a great way to go out losing in the first round of the playoffs, especially when you made it to the Super Bowl last year.

And I'm sure part of him last year was like, if I win the Super Bowl, I will retire.

If I don't, I'll try one more time.

Now, do you think it's better to have gone out like at the end of a season where you lose in the Super Bowl or to go out at the end of a season where you lose in the first round of the playoffs.

It would have been a nicer story if it was last season.

It was like him versus brother, even though he lost.

I don't think of it as a loss because like there's nothing more

of a win than playing in the Super Bowl against your brother and like it was all about his family.

But I feel like athletes and just, you know, people in general just have a hard time like

going out on top because they think there's more to climb.

No, and the timing is really, really hard.

And I just googled it because I wanted to make sure like if he's ever won a Super Bowl and he has, he won once in 20 years.

Yeah, I remember.

Oh, you didn't watch their documentary yet?

And he gave that big speech about hungry dogs.

Oh, no.

I actually really do need to watch that stupid ass documentary.

Like, you don't.

Let me say it's probably way easier to like consider retiring

when you have such a huge career outside of football.

Like between the podcast and like him just being like really a celebrity, both in Philly, but everywhere too.

It's probably a lot easier to reconcile like the loss of income with the idea that you actually probably are now open to way more opportunities.

I'm sure he would not have a hard time getting like a big broadcasting contract.

Oh, yeah, people love him.

For him, I don't think it's about the revenue.

He, like, if you watch the documentary, which I don't think you need to do, like, he's really normal.

Yeah, not about that.

I'm sure he has more money than he'll ever need.

And the podcast is really, he's got a career.

And it is nice to not like worry what your next job is going to be, but he also has like a lot of investments in the,

yeah, he does a lot of different things.

He stays busy.

And then, of course, his music career.

Yeah, I'm sure he'll continue to do stuff like that.

And he really is a celebrity.

I mean, he's a celebrity, period, but he's like the mayor of the world.

Yeah, he's like a real, like a leader in his community.

He is.

And he takes that seriously.

So there's a lot waiting for him, but I'm sure it's hard.

And, you know, when you're an athlete, like, it's not just that you played in the NFL, like your entire life.

It's so true.

Your entire life waking up, workouts, ice bath, cold plunge.

Yeah.

But then it's like the first time that for a lot of them that they get to spend like a serious amount of time with their kids.

Yeah, but then you watch Tyson Fury's documentary and you got to get back out there.

It's too much time with your kids.

It's that's true.

Yeah, I think it's hard for people who are like going, going, going, going to stop or slow down even.

And it really, it wasn't a great year for the Eagles.

I feel like they started out really on top and just slowly, slowly, like they couldn't get their act together.

And they kind of were just this discombobulated mess.

Yeah, but maybe he'll come back like Tom Brady style.

No, he's like a like Jason Gillespie.

He's a man of serious.

Like when he says something, he means it.

Yeah, and this is not a decision he takes lightly, I'm sure.

Yeah, I don't think he's coming back.

No, but that's what happens.

It's really hard to slow down.

And then they're like, well, maybe I should just play more.

It's also weird, like, because the Kelsey family are from Ohio.

Like, that's their home.

But he's been 13 years in Philly.

Like, do you stay in Philly?

I saw something, but nothing reputable nor that I clicked.

It might have just been like a Facebook, you know, one of those like fake headlines to get you to click about how he's moving out of Philly.

It's fake.

Yeah.

Like, how would we know that?

And where does Donna live?

I feel like she lives in Philly too.

But also his wife is a Philly girl.

I think they'll stay.

And like the kids have lived there for 13 years.

Well, not 13, but you know what I mean?

Like they're in school and stuff.

Yeah, I think that they will stay there, even though the family should be together.

I feel like he's kind of going to become to the Eagles with Tony Romo is to the Cowboys, you know?

Yes, an elder statesman.

An Elder Statesman, and he is the official broadcaster for a certain network when the Cowboys play.

Oh, that's why I'm, to me, Tony Romo is always the broadcasting.

No, because you only watch Cowboys game in your house.

Trissant.

Yeah.

Oh, you know what?

Who am I?

Mac told me a fun fact.

What?

Fun fact that for the last two years, the color of the Super Bowl logo has wound up being the team colors that played.

And it's Ravens and Niners this year.

And Travers and Niners this year.

That's kind of weird.

It's because NFL is scripted.

The NFL is scripted.

Who am I?

Cowboys.

Harry.

Yeah, Harry's favorite word is Cowboys because Zach is like infiltrating and making sure that Harry grows up knowing like this is a Cowboys house.

And anytime you see someone playing a sport or literally the color.

All football to him is Cowboys.

Cowboys.

And it was funny because when

Dallas lost,

I was like, well, Harry said the Cowboys lost.

And he was like, no, because to him, the Green Cowboys won.

Right, right.

They're all Cowboys.

They're all, I mean, they are all Cowboys.

I mean, I think we're all Cowboys.

I think we all want to be Cowboys.

I don't even know if the Cowboys want to be Cowboys, you know?

Anything can happen.

No, it's so true.

And to make the playoffs, really, it's like an honor to be nominated.

Yeah, yeah.

Came further.

Right.

As long as you're always getting better.

Yeah.

But it's time for, you know,

a serious change.

I have no idea what needs to change.

I think Jason Kelsey needs to take his talents to Dallas.

Maybe a new coach.

I don't know who the coach is.

No, actually, I was reading something about a general manager.

Yeah.

Oh,

baby.

The cowboys don't have one.

Because Jerry takes it on.

And I trust Jerry.

I just want to say, like, I look at Jerry and I say, that man.

knows what he's doing.

But the fans, like, who are upset with the lack of progress, they say, we want a GM now I don't really know what a manager is gonna do like I just think don't you need like better players but yeah maybe I just don't know enough about football also it's like okay Dallas didn't go where they wanted to go but it's not like they were last like why do they need to upheave their entire system but the Jets don't like please okay right like they did okay they made to the playoffs the middle of the pack

No, it's

full upheaval.

And they had a winning record.

They were like 12 and 4.

That's really good.

We'll do better next year.

Yeah.

Doesn't mean it needs to be a referendum on Jerry.

No, it's so true.

Like, leave Jerry alone.

Leave Jerry alone.

Leave him alone.

Are you ready for our next story?

What number is this?

Three?

Three.

Sorry.

Trace.

Yeah.

We always like to inject a little Spanish on the show.

I literally like am Spanish because.

Right, no, and everyone thinks I'm Spanish because Claudia is like a Latin name.

And I feel like actually I am.

Okay.

Like what I said, like when I was in my story.

Are you the Rachel Dolezal?

Yes.

You're Hilaria.

Yes.

But my name is actually Claudia.

You're Claudia Baldwin.

I guess it would be like the equivalent of me like introducing myself as Claudia.

Yeah.

That's Hilary Hilaria.

Claudia Claudia.

No, but you didn't have to change any letters.

You didn't have to change any Morgan letters.

It's true.

It's just my intonation.

Yeah.

Well, Casa and La Casa.

Our next story is just a little award show recap from the weekend because there were many award shows that took place.

Last night was the Emmys.

Then there was the Critics' Choice.

Which apparently we all watch now.

Okay.

Chelsea Handler hosted that.

Emmys was a no-host situation.

I didn't watch.

Yeah, obviously, like, hosting is kind of...

the name on everyone's lips.

That's like why people are tuning in.

And I think a lot of people actually did tune in to the Critics' Choice awards.

One, because it was the first show after the Golden Globes and like you wanted to compare hosts.

And of course, Chelsea Handler and Joe Coi dated very seriously for like two years.

And the fact that they did back-to-back award shows and one of them flopped, like people wanted to see what she would do.

Battle of the X's.

Now, I watched her monologue.

It was like harmless.

It was funny.

Like, she just did the job, you know?

Is it going to be talked about for years?

No, but she did a good job.

She didn't yell at anyone.

She didn't have a breakdown.

And people, for the most part, seemed to really like her jokes.

Like in the audience, they were having a good time.

Yeah.

Now, of course, like it just makes the whole joke I think even worse.

Like your ex-girlfriend like could do it and you couldn't, you know?

Yeah.

And it's just,

I toy between being like, it's a thankless job.

Everybody hates you no matter what you do.

And also being like, a thankless job.

Try coal mining.

All you have to do is tell a couple jokes and that's your trade.

You just have to make people laugh.

You have endless fodder.

You're on a huge stage.

It's a great platform to launch yourself, especially anyone would kill for that opportunity.

What are you doing complaining?

No, it's so true.

And if it's really so hard, like hit the mines.

Mine a coal.

Mine a coal.

Yeah.

Right?

Like, I go back and forth.

Yeah, no, I, when I first came on this show to recap Joe Koi, my mindset was like, it's a thankless job.

Like, people just should have left and like moved on.

But then you were, really put everything in perspective.

Like, it's actually probably the best job in the world.

It's a job where you have an entire team of writers.

So, if you don't want to write jokes, like you don't have to, the best joke wins.

Two, it's a the hardest part of doing stand-up is memorizing your jokes and writing your jokes.

Two things you don't have to do when you have a gig like this.

You have a teleprompter and you have a team of writers.

You get like full glam.

Like, it sounds amazing, actually.

And it's a platform for literally someone like Joe Koi, who maybe not everyone tuning in knew of.

It's like the biggest stage.

So, I actually, my mind completely changed, and I agree with you.

Thank you.

So, yeah, that's where I've landed.

And now it's just like a word show season.

There were a couple standout moments from the Emmys.

Suki Waterhouse arrived, bumping to the gods.

Bumping to the gods.

Yeah, Christina Applegate received a standing ovation as a presenter, made some jokes.

She's a queen.

She's a queen.

She said it was able to everybody to be giving her a standing ovation because she can't stand without a cane.

Like obsessed.

Yeah.

Like that's the thing.

And it's like that's, and also she didn't write that joke because she didn't know they would all be standing.

So that's just like someone being funny.

Yeah, and then she was like, Sorry, my body's not biozempic because I think like the illness that she has like makes her gain weight.

And she's just like, she's just leaning in, like, whatever.

Yeah.

And, like, she was being funny off the cuff, improv queen.

Like, we stand.

There was also drama between Bella Ramsey and Ariana DeBose from the Critics' Choice Awards.

Yeah, it's giving like major loser-on-loser crime.

I don't care.

Yeah.

And, you know, the stars were out.

I, I, that was.

I didn't watch either of them.

So I really, I'm so sorry like not doing my job as a pop culture commentator.

But

no, we watched that other one.

Yeah, I feel like the Golden Globes was like enough for me, Diane knew.

I watched the Oscars and the Grammys.

Yeah.

I feel like Critics' Choice is definitely not required viewing and the Emmys really aren't either.

Yeah, there were some nice looks though.

Everyone's been looking nice lately and I appreciate that.

By the way, did you see what happened to Kelty Knight on the red carpet?

That she lost her diamond.

Yeah, her diamond, four carat diamond, like fell out of the setting of her ring.

And like, she literally hasn't found it.

Damn.

Isn't that crazy?

I'm sure she has it insured, but like, that sucks.

Yeah, that really does.

Oh, my God.

I totally forgot to wear my rings today.

I am still married.

Just wanted to say.

I don't know.

He was spotted with a woman's luggage in Nordstrom.

He was spotted shopping in Nordstrom with a bag full of bikinis.

It's true.

No comment.

Are you ready for our next story?

No.

No.

You don't look ready.

so I'll let you get ready.

Okay, hold on, I'm really not ready.

Take your time, La.

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Great.

Thank you.

Before we get to the last two stories, two bits of news that I just, when I checked my phone, I saw.

One, Kylie dyed her hair pink.

Oh, I know.

I'm obsessed.

Yeah.

What, you're not?

No, I mean, I love everything she does, but I just, I didn't, I feel like it's incongruous to this era that she's in of just being like kind of like demure Timothy's lady.

Oh, I totally disagree because I feel like while, yes, she's been dressing like very demure Timothy's lady, she's just kind of in this like free era.

You know what I mean?

Like, she's just doing whatever the fuck she wants, like going to the Emmys and being on TV for three hours.

Like, that's not something she would ever do.

And I love, like, I, I, first of all, I loved that King Kylie era where she wore wigs and had different colored hair all the time.

Like, that was so iconic.

And now it's like more mature King Kylie era.

I love it.

No, it's exciting.

And I'll change.

I love to see it.

And I look forward to following her in this journey.

I hope it's not just like a wig for a shoot.

And then, like, tomorrow she's back to the black of hair.

It did not look like a wig, but her wigs never do.

Right.

So we'll see.

What was the second piece of news?

Oh, something that I've been obsessed with all weekend that I know you don't care about, but I'm sure there are people out there who do, is Ballerina Farm has given birth.

She gave birth two weeks ago, but she's also hosting the Miss America pageant in Las Vegas.

And this woman is not real.

Like,

she does a ballerina farm stalking rampage.

This woman deserves a Nobel Peace Prize.

Like she just gave birth.

She has seven children.

She makes her own food and kills her own game.

And she is hosting Miss Universe.

She looks un Mrs.

America.

She looks unreal.

She's just not real.

I feel like she has eight kids because I stalked her and then I stalked her husband and his bio said father of eight.

Maybe it was seven going on eight.

Right.

She gave birth at home, no medication.

Like she's just not a real person.

Okay.

Also, I want to talk about ballerina farm.

I would, I could talk all day about ballerina farm and I'm glad that you're in the mix.

No, but

I was eight little.

I was reading this article about her and you know how like when anybody, especially like a digital person, mostly a woman, has like a scandal attached to them, they absolutely like have to reference it in the first sentence of the article.

Oh, yes.

I know the drama about her.

So the drama is that her husband is rich.

Yeah.

Her husband's dad like started JetBlue or something.

Like they're really, really wealthy.

And so that's like her scandal.

right

um that's like not a scandal like it's not bad like it's not illegal to be rich no so i think what we're just jealous like oh for sure but this is the host and she has a twenty thousand dollar stove and no one will ever let her forget it i think people's by the way that's like literally not a lot of money relative to how much money she has right people's issue is that she's like promoting this very difficult lifestyle while like she's not promoting it she's literally just living it and people and people happen to care claudia i stand with ballerina farm No, no, I know you're just like telling me what the discourse is, but people are dumb and stupid enough.

Like, why does she have to live a certain way just because she has money?

Like,

no, and it's like, and it's also not her money.

Like, you don't know how to do it.

The way this article was like, you know, even though, like, like,

it's like how you would, like,

I'm sorry, like, I'm having a stroke.

I can't talk.

It was so stupid.

Like, the fact that that's attached to her as like her big scandal.

And like, it somehow like invalidates everything she does.

Invalidates everything she does, which is crazy.

Gave birth eight times.

Everybody's like, eat the rich.

Like the rich are so wasteful.

Like this girl is literally living the opposite of that life.

Like I'm sure she doesn't fly private, you know?

Like they're literally doing the opposite of what people hate rich people for, you know, like excessive wealth, an abundance of things that they don't need, very wasteful, multiple homes, carbon footprint.

Like she's doing the opposite.

Right.

And she's the devil.

Like, I can't

do that.

She's raising cattle.

She's making her

bread.

So jealous.

Oh, yes.

They're so jealous.

Yeah.

I am.

No, but she also, like, does it all because then she also got a spray tan.

I'm like, yes, queen.

relatable.

Oh, wait, she had a spray tan.

She got a spray tan for Mrs.

America.

Oh, of course, of course.

But like, literally, what's with you and Mrs.

America?

Is it a pageant of married women?

It's Miss America.

No, no, no.

She's Mrs.

America.

Not Miss America.

Mrs.

America.

Mrs.

America was this weekend.

No, she's a it's a pageant of married women.

Wait, what?

Are you just saying that?

Mrs.

America.

Yeah?

There's Miss America and Mrs.

and she has been Mrs.

America.

Now she's going to, you know, support because it was like Mrs.

Universe or something.

Mrs.

World.

Oh my God, I didn't know that they made a pageant like for Mrs.

Yeah, and there's honestly like Jackie, Jackie, should we enroll?

If I had to scourge.

You could be Mrs.

Florida and I could be Mrs.

New York.

That would be a dream.

If I had to scour the entire country for a woman who is Mrs.

America and embodies what you would aspire a Mrs.

America to be, it's Ballerina Farm.

No, and I'm so glad that she like found her way to that path.

I'm so impressed by this woman.

It's not real.

She's insane.

I saw her making this like lemon curd.

Well, I was looking through like her reels, and one of them had 30 million views.

I'm like, oh, which one is this?

And it was literally just a recipe of her making like a lemon cake.

And it like wasn't even like that high quality.

Like people just die for her.

It's crazy.

Yeah.

No, and everything she does, just like it looks, it's aesthetic, but like it's really not because it's just like

she lives in Utah.

Oh.

Yeah.

And then also, so there's like this, now that I'm engaged with Ballerina Farm so often, she's one of my most interacted with, there is like this trend on social media of trad wives.

What does that stand for?

I think traditional wives.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I saw this.

Trad.

Trad.

It's that's like the thing.

And I see other trad wives and a lot of it.

Some of it's like put on because like they, I think they like go and buy these like huge dresses that like

costume.

It's cosplay.

Yeah, but

it's nice.

And they cook and they put it all in the Belle Mason jar.

Yeah.

Oh my, they love a Mason jar.

And they're always like, you know, boiling peaches.

Yeah.

And the sleeves are puffy.

Yeah.

And it's nice.

And I think it's like, in the way of fashion influencer, like people distill from that something they can take away into their everyday life, whether it's just a new trend, like, oh, I'm going to wear a belt.

What if I wore this hat to the party tonight?

Like, people follow trad wives and it's like hey maybe i will cook dinner

maybe that's like me trad wife that's literally you

i'm a trad wife like kind of but like because you like cook a lot and like you're like a mom and stuff but you also work which is kind of the opposite i'm a homemaking trad wife but it's just like

there's not even the definition of a modern woman like your trad wife who has like a business yeah but these trad wives on instagram like it's their business too you know it's not just like they're home all day they're also making content so they're not trad wives i'm sorry trad wives don't work it's inherently contradictory it is but maybe that's like the new kind of

like a new age for women like having it all you know being a trad wife who makes a living yeah because also then you don't have to sell your wares at the market if you're making i'm sorry what like i feel like traditionally a trad wife if they weren't filming themselves they would make their jarred goods and they would go and sell their wares at the market.

No, that's no.

A trad wife like waits at home and cooks and cleans and waits for the husband to come home, like very middle.

No, I'm also, I'm talking about like a homesteading trad wife, like doing it all the most.

Conversation is not English.

A homesteading trad wife?

Yeah, like Ballerina Farm's a homesteading trad wife.

She doesn't just like sit at home and make Betty Crocker.

Title?

Homesteading Trad wife?

Greater than.

Except you don't let us use greater than symbols in our title because you can't put it in YouTube.

I just like also, I'm over the greater than.

Oh.

I'm over this.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah, who does that?

Not me anymore.

Not a homesteading trad wife.

But anyway,

a trad wife, like, could be like, you know, someone who makes Betty Crocker hamburger helper.

Like, Ballerina Farm would literally never.

Never.

I'm glad that you came around to her ways.

She's so impressive.

Also, tell me who she looks like and why is it Kelsey Owens from

CSTK.

That's good.

That's good.

They're twins.

So Mazotov on the birth of her baby.

Beautiful.

Ballerina.

I wonder if she likes podcasts.

Like, I don't know why I feel like she doesn't have electricity.

Like, I know she does.

But like, she does.

Like, she has the Duna stroller.

Like.

No, and she literally has like a tripod because she makes content.

Right.

And like, like I said, she got a spray tan.

She got a spray tan, right?

And she took a plane to Las Vegas.

Private or commercial?

Unclear, but the photos,

like it looked like a regular airport.

Well, I would assume she would fly JetBlue.

Right.

No, but it was giving like all those articles like former, you know, where like he started it, but maybe he got like McDonald's out of it.

Right, right, right, right, right.

Anyways, let's move on to the next story.

I'll pick up.

We'll come back to her tomorrow.

We'll circle back.

This next story is one of my favorite stories and my favorite kind of story.

Aubrey O'Day has been slammed as disrespectful for for captioning her thirst traps with an MLK quote yesterday oh that is disrespectful so yesterday Audrey O'Day posted a 10-slide carousel in promotion of her only fans very seductive sultry photos and the caption is quote our lives

begin to end I was gonna guess I was gonna guess oh only love can only light can drive out darkness no that like would have been better.

It was our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King Jr.

That's the whole caption.

And I do wonder like how she thought that related to, like, obviously it's beyond inappropriate and out of touch, but that's not really my concern.

Like, I can understand why she wouldn't understand that.

But I'm just curious how it relates to the pictures.

Like, you always, your caption is reflective of what the photos consist of.

Yes, but I do feel like people have become accustomed to just like putting a quote on a photo.

And if you go down that rabbit hole too far without picking your head up, it's like, okay, here are my photos of the day.

And what's a good quote of of this day mlk day

mlk quote no i'm sorry this is really crazy like no no no it's insane

but i'm just saying like i could see how someone could get so caught up in like instagram quote culture that they miss that this is not the move right like this is somebody quoting like too close to the sun yeah because it's like okay i do a daily quote Maybe I should do like a daily quote for the day that this is.

Right, right.

Which is MLK Day.

Let me find find a quote that resonates with me.

Now, I think that this is, you know, reprehensible.

It's also extremely on brand for Aubrey O'Day.

Like, I actually don't think this will affect her standing in culture, like, whatsoever, because she's just kind of known as this hot mess.

Yeah.

And now everyone's talking about it.

It was all in promotion of her OnlyFans.

Like, when you swipe through the carousel, there's a card that is like a meme about her OnlyFans.

So here we are, like, furthering, promoting her OnlyFans.

It's kind of brilliant.

She reminds me a lot of Larsa Pippen.

Oh, yeah.

Just similar energies, similar bodies, similar, you know, similar energy.

Yeah.

Though Larsa would never.

Larsa would never know.

Larsa's like a queen.

Also, I saw something on TikTok today that made me giggle so hard.

Justin Timberlake's like out here on TikTok, like making hype videos that he's releasing a new album.

And it's like, the way we don't care is so amazing to me.

Like in any other year, if somebody was of even like,

if anybody,

if any, no, if anybody of similar like size to Justin Timberlake like started teasing a new album for the first time in many, many years, like it would be news.

This TikTok was like days old.

Yeah.

I hadn't even heard about it.

You know who I have to ask?

My husband.

Your husband.

That's my like litmus test.

Like if my husband cares about, because he loved Justin Timberlake back in the day.

So it's like, does he still have fans?

I will know if I ask my husband.

The rise and fall of Justin Timberlake should be studied by scientists.

It's so crazy how literally people were like, he's Michael Jackson.

Like in that video, Vanguard, Michael Jackson, like Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson, king of pop, king of pop.

Like, first of all, who the fuck wants to be the next Michael Jackson?

He was literally a pedophile.

Nevertheless, I progress.

I digress.

The way he went from that to like not being able to get fucking arrested is truly...

It needs to be studied.

It's a case study and what not to do.

Yeah, but for so long,

he was what to do.

He's how you transition from a boy band to a solo artist.

He was like the blueprint.

I feel like I've been saying like a lot today.

I really need to stop.

I just keep, I keep feeling myself saying it.

I didn't notice.

I didn't notice.

We've gotten so much better at that.

Don't jinx it.

We are far from perfect, but I don't know how the fuck people used to listen to the show like five years ago.

I feel as though that culture?

No, people who listened to us when we spoke like that were in the same boat as us.

And I'm sure they've improved too.

And then also it's just more pleasant for everyone now that we speak like this.

But we were younger and I think younger people speak like that and our audience was younger, but now we're all growing.

Yeah, yeah.

Growing.

We do it every day.

Our fifth and final story is a little royal family news because I absolutely need to talk about my kings and queens.

So there's, you know, always just rumors, but I thought this one was interesting.

Queen Elizabeth was allegedly infuriated over Harry and Megan's claim that she approved them naming their daughter Lilibet.

No.

Yeah, so the late Queen Elizabeth was infuriated that Megan and Harry claimed that she gave their blessing for their daughter to be named Lilibet.

There's a new book.

That's why there's all these rumors right now.

There's a new book that's out called Charles III, New King, New Court, The Inside Story.

Because there was also another book that came out like a few weeks ago by Omid Scobie about like Megan and Harry.

And there was like.

Did you see the drama about the translation?

Yeah.

That was crazy.

In one of the like translated copies.

It said who made the comment about Archie's skin color.

And who was it?

I forget.

A lot of the places wouldn't publish it because it's libel.

Right.

I feel like it was Camilla.

No, I don't remember who it was.

Isn't that crazy?

Because there was a time or Charles.

Yeah, there was a time where like that piece of information was what I needed to know.

Like if I could find out anything in this world, like I would want to know who said it.

Yeah.

So there's this new book And

one of the allegations in it is that the queen was very mad that they said that they got her approval.

Apparently, one member of the staff privately recalled that the queen had been as angry as I ever saw her when they announced that.

In the excerpt, it said

that they called the queen to let her know like we had the baby and we're naming it after you.

But like in a situation like that, you don't ask, can we name it?

And you don't say, no, you can't.

You know what I mean?

So then it came out that it was little bad and then they had said that they asked the queen if they could use the name and this person's saying they never asked

okay it sounds like a little bit like semantics and also um

oh this is tough because now i'm like seeing things through the lens of the crown i'm seeing everything through the lens of this last season of the crown and And just based on the part where I'm at, I feel like

I could actually see a world in which like Harry hates his grandma.

Yeah, I don't know why I had the idea that Harry was the queen's favorite, like because he was always like this like jokester and they had a funny relationship.

I know the crown is not entirely truthful, but I don't think that's the case.

Like I think her,

I mean, what we see in the crown is that like...

Well, because Elizabeth represents everything that like killed Diana.

Yeah.

No, on both ends.

Like, I mean, but I think Harry respects his grandma, but I don't think they had, I think if anyone had a special relationship, it's Elizabeth and William, not only because they are in the same position, but they are of a very similar nature.

You know, they both take very seriously what they're doing.

And throughout the Seasons of the Crown, they have like special like occasions or instances or conversations that, but I know that's also just the show, but they don't just pull shit out of thin air.

But the way that the show, the last few episodes ended, like it really left, you could see how the riff begins, like especially between William and Harry.

The way that it ends, the last episode is Camilla and Charles's wedding.

That's where they decided to end the show.

I actually thought it was a really nice place to end it.

By the way, I also didn't really realize how long it took for them to get married.

Yeah, I just kind of assumed that him and Diana broke up, and then, like, shortly after, he got married to Camilla, but I guess it was like a really, really big deal that he got remarried.

No, and I don't know how the firm feels about this show, but it is so good for them.

For Charles.

First of all, Dominic West has made me like Charles so much

as a future king, as a father.

I think he's like good on all of those counts.

It makes me like him and Camilla so much.

I agree.

I feel like, you know, they probably feel like, oh, no, the crown, it's like this bad thing.

But I think it's done so much good for their public perception.

At least I know how I feel about them.

And even as I was watching the entire show, I'm like, I love the queen, love the queen, but I've always like.

disliked Charles because like he's Charles.

But now that I'm done with it, I have like more respect for Charles and William and kate those are the best episodes no but also i think so many people dislike charles because of diana but and i don't know if this was the case in real life but in the show like at the time of her death like they actually were in a really good spot in terms of like their relationship with one another and co-parenting and things like that so it's also tough because i wasn't like alive or like conscious when it was happening in real time.

So like really everything I know about this is from things like the crown.

Yeah.

Back Back to Lilibet.

I actually don't believe this.

I don't know.

I mean, I'm sure there's some

things they feel one way, they feel another way.

But it is when you think back on like, after watching this season and they're really like sowing the seeds for Harry to be the rebel and leave.

It's all just even weirder.

Like now that it's all brought to the fore again, just because I'm in this time period of like before he left and how it all went down, like, it's so crazy.

Cause even on the crown, like, the smallest things are the biggest deal because it's headline news.

And, like, when they mexited,

nothing on the crown has ever been crazier, probably since the um

abdication,

no, or like Diana's death,

yeah, yeah,

yeah,

yeah,

yeah, Mexic was crazy.

So that's just like where I am right now.

And like, I'm, I was here four years ago, but it's, it's crazy all over.

And so now I'm reading these headlines.

I'm like,

yeah, no, it's hard like not to believe.

Whereas usually I'm like tabloid trash.

They don't know anything.

Right, right, right, right, right, right, right.

Interesting.

But it was such a delight to watch.

I'm so glad that I, that I made the time because it was fully immersive.

The St.

Andrews episodes of William and Kate, like, I was grinning from the fashion show.

I was grinning from ear to ear.

Don't spoil.

From ear to ear.

It was just lovely.

We'll talk about the season when you're done with it.

Okay, I'm like now so excited.

Yeah, you should like go treat yourself today.

I will.

I have, after this, I have an Amazon Live.

Make sure to tune in.

And then I'm going to spend the night watching The Crown because Ben's out of town and he doesn't watch it and it's like so annoying.

So like when he gets in bed, I have to turn it off.

Unacceptable.

He can learn a little something.

I'm sure he'd love it.

I know.

But he really should start from the beginning.

Yeah, I might.

I mean, I have so many things to re-watch, but that is on my re-watch list at some point.

I mean, I have so many things to watch, like all the housewives and everything.

But like, I want to re-watch The Crown, but I think it's going to make me sad because she's no longer with us.

Like, when I watch those seasons, and I'm so glad I watched them when they were, when she was alive, because I had so much appreciation for her at the end of her life.

But now it's like, it's just going to be such a reminder.

Like, it's such the end of an era.

It's depressing.

Yeah.

It's like really over.

Well, those were the past five.

You definitely needed to know every single one of them.

I'm so glad to be back.

We've got a great week of shows.

Don't let us forget to do Queenie and Weenie of the Week on Friday.

Hold us accountable.

Yep.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast of Monet Show.

Okay, I have no voice.

Like, really, I'm not, I'm not going to go.

I got to go, and the episode's got to go up.

Love ya.

Bye.