Sex Slave Dora: Thursday, December 4th, 2023

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Good morning, Millennials.

Well, welcome back to the toast and happy Thursday.

Hope everybody's having a great day.

Rip Theo, how are you?

Rippity Rip Rip, Rippity Rip.

Wait, can we talk about something?

Rip, rip, rip, rip, rip, rip, rip.

That's

first.

Literally, this show is all about us talking about some things.

So kick us off.

Like, Theo died.

I know.

It hits me like that sometimes too.

Like,

where it's like, of course, I know Theo's no longer with us, but then sometimes I realize like Theo's no longer with us.

Right.

Like, he's not at his grandparents.

Like, he's literally dead.

Like, what the fuck?

He just, like, vanished.

Poof.

Unless he's in a basement.

Who am I?

Poof.

Theo, allegedly.

Yeah, unless he's a sex slave in someone's basement.

Sex slave Dora.

Sex slave Dora.

No, I've made peace.

Like, I realized like those were hallucinations.

Like, those were, that was my denial phase.

Totally.

Yeah.

But actually, a lot of people message me, like, people who have lost someone, like humans, dogs, and they're like, we have this writing joke in my family because we never saw, you know, our grandmother's body that, like, she's literally still alive.

Like, that, okay, I'm glad I wasn't the only one who had that insane, irrational fear.

Yeah, no, I think that's real.

You've got to see the body.

You've got to get confirmation.

I know.

You've got to literally do a pulse check.

So now I know the next time, you know, God forbid, God forbid,

like I lose someone, I got to do triple checks.

Yeah.

Just a little, you know, and actually I learned how to take someone's pulse.

I feel like people just like put their fingers on their necks.

And I'm like, you're not feeling, like, I never could figure it out.

And then I recently, not recently, like a couple of years ago, I went to a wedding.

It was like in a ski town.

So we were on this gondola and I was on the gondola with another wedding guest who was a cardiologist.

And he just like, I told him I was like freaking out like about the gondola and he took my pulse.

I'm like, hey, how do you do that?

And I figured it out.

Now it's actually much easier on the wrist.

Let's take my pulse.

Oh, wait, I lost it.

I always forget, I forget to breathe when I take my pulse.

So then I can't see it.

You should have a pulse even when you're holding your breath.

Okay, I feel it.

I feel it.

Oh, it's kind of weird.

I don't like it.

It is weird.

I don't feel mine.

Uh-oh.

Two fingers on your wrist, like a little bit lower than you would think.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've got some

turdy.

She's dead.

Oh no.

Call an ambulance.

Call an ambulance.

Call an ambulance.

You find it?

It's also hard to listen to someone talking.

A fun fact about me is that I have a very low pulse.

Like,

yeah, when I go to the doctor, like it's, it's low.

Dr.

Fox called it a runner's pulse.

Are you a runner?

She's a runner.

She's a tractor.

She's a big runner.

But I feel that way.

I feel like I don't breathe unless it's completely necessary.

you know you don't you don't breathe unless told to i don't take extrenuous breaths like ben takes extrenuous breaths i mean that's putting it mildly like i think ben like breathes double the amount that i breathe

it's like one of the meanest things you can say to someone really

Why

I know what you're saying, but like the implication is that it's just like this gorilla like

the thing is though he's like svelte now and it's still true.

So it's really not a weight thing.

Wait, speaking of Ben, I had my ski lesson yesterday.

I know.

And speaking of Ben, it's because if you watch my vlog on Patreon, I really could not find anyone to come with me.

And I was just like nervous about driving there by myself, parking, filming, vlogging, and learning to ski all at the same time.

So Ben did take me and he waited in the car, which was so nice.

The vlog was amazing.

I don't want to spoil anything, but I vlogged my whole experience yesterday driving out to New Jersey for a ski lesson.

It's on Patreon at patreon.com slash toast.

But I want to talk about the ski lesson because what what I did was shred some are it was I was incredible now.

Let me tell you skiing is so hard.

Yeah,

and I didn't, they just kind of like the best way to learn is sort of like baptism by fire.

Like they just kind of send you down.

Yeah.

And I didn't really know.

And it's like you learn slowly.

Like I thought you just ski, you like squat and you go.

Like you just go straight.

But if you do that, like you go so fucking.

Yeah, that's like what ski racers do.

If you want to

slow it down, you got to cut it up.

It's like boom, shh, boom, shh, boom, shh, boom.

So I was learning that slowly over time, but there was one minute, you know, one, there was one run where they just essentially throw you down.

I would pay $10 million to have watched myself on that thing.

Like, Jackie, I was screaming.

The fact that I didn't fall is a miracle.

I was screaming.

Ethan, Ethan.

He was my instructor.

He was amazing.

Ethan Greater Than.

Ethan Greater Than.

I got the best possible instructor, and he was so down to be in my vlog, which was so nice.

And he had

a charisma, personality, and he was a really great instructor as seen in Turdi's New Skills.

Also, I feel like other people should go take ski lessons at this mall.

So what's so funny is one of my best friends, Margo,

she's not a skier, but she went skiing like a couple of years ago with her in-laws and she also took a lesson before and she was, she texted me.

She's like, wait, are you going to the American Dream Mall?

That's what I did.

I'm like, oh, yeah.

Honestly, everyone should do it before going on a trip because I have taken a lesson on a mountain.

It's such chaos.

And if you're going with a group of people like I was, like nobody wants to wait with me with my lesson and then I'm all alone.

Like it kind of sucks.

So preparing before, now, of course, indoor skiing is not the same as outdoor skiing.

And the big run quote that I did is, I think, probably one tenth of an actual

trail, whatever you call it.

Yeah.

But, and that's kind of what's freaking me out is like, okay, I would go down this run and it would take like 30 seconds, but a real run is what, 10 minutes?

Yeah.

Well, the thing is, the hardest part of skiing, I think, once you know how to ski is when you're not on a run.

It's walking over to the chairlift.

It's waiting online and shuffling up and using your sticks and navigating and then getting on the chairlift, which I, I don't want to spoil your video, but the chairlift, imagine a chairlift going up an actual mountain.

The chairlift is the most horrible place on the planet.

I know.

It's really not pleasant.

But there are some chairlifts.

A lot of them, especially the runs that we do, are bare-bones chairlifts, like what you did, one bar.

Great.

But there are some chairlifts, especially when you're doing a ski, where it's enclosed and it's a little more.

Ethan was telling me about that.

And then he was showing me pictures of the gondola he went on in Alaska.

He's kind of like a big-time skier.

You have to be if you're teaching ski lessons.

Yeah.

So do I feel prepared?

No.

Am I more prepared?

Yes.

I might still do one more lesson when we get there.

Yeah, you should, or take the instructor with us.

That's the thing.

I just want to have someone with me because I felt so much peace.

I'm like, Ethan, please just.

stay close to me.

Yeah.

Because there was one time when like I literally almost died and he like helped me slow down.

Having like a professional nearby, nearby, even if I don't like touch them, just knowing that they're there, I think would bring me a lot of peace.

Yeah, you should do that.

And that way we can all meet like at the bottom.

We're not all having to go at the same speed, but we actually meet incrementally throughout the run.

We don't all just meet at the bottom.

Like we'll see.

Well, I told Ben, like he's not allowed to leave my side.

I think being alone on the mountain is the scariest part.

Of course.

We've never, when I see with Ben and Margo, none of us are ever alone on the mountain for more than like three minutes.

And then like there's at the end of a hill, like we wait for each other and then we continue going we should just like kind of be tethered to each other which i know is like so dangerous also so unsafe yeah yeah that's no but then you know you just think about like skiing is so unnecessary like people die skiing like why are we doing this for the thrill of it i know but we're not thrill-seeking individuals no and the way that we ski is not that thrilling we only do green runs and we take it at our own pace.

It's very leisurely, but it's pleasant.

It's to be out in nature, you know, to be working your body.

It's like working out while also taking in the great outdoors.

So we don't really do it for the thrill, but we also don't really ski in a way that's like really unsafe.

Competitive.

Ben did say it's like the one thing you were missing that skiing is all about is like you were inside.

So there's no, you know, beautiful trees and mountains and vistas to look at.

So I am looking forward to that.

Also, the run that I did, Ethan said, is like, it's like a.

It's considered a blue.

It's like an easy blue, but it's a blue.

So I'm not going to do a blue.

I'm going to do the easy one, which is a green, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We need to do that.

So that's just like more flat kind of?

Yeah, less steep, less twists and turns.

It's just the easiest one.

Okay, so I feel like I overprepared in a sense.

Yeah, for sure.

I'm excited.

I saw your footage.

You're ready.

You do, you think?

Yeah, you're ready for your first day of skiing.

100%.

Yeah.

Honestly, it's a great place to learn.

I think if I was like an avid skier, I wouldn't find those facilities so much fun because, and this is what I was saying to Ethan.

And Ethan was like, that's the essence of skiing.

It's a lot of work for a little bit of fun.

Like getting on the chairlift

with the skis and the boots.

Like, it's a lot of torture for like a small thrill.

It is, but at least for me, the thrill and the fun of it outweighs the torture.

That's why we continue to do it.

That's how fun it is because we know the torture threshold is high.

Yeah.

So I was like dreading it all day, but I ended up having a blast.

I feel like I was, it was very successful.

And then I got to eat at Yardhouse afterwards, which is honestly so much better than Cheesecake Factory.

Like, not enough people talk about that.

What's Yard House?

I know.

So I only discovered Yard House when I was on tour because pretty much much every venue, like they, when you would like order dinner, Yard House was always an option.

I'm like, all right, Yard House, Yard.

And then I just realized it's kind of like a BJ's brew house.

It's a chain, but it's not as well known as Cheesecake Factory.

It is so much better.

Nice.

What'd you get aside from fries?

I got chicken lettuce wraps.

They were so good.

They were so, and Ben got Ahi Tuna taco nachos.

Yeah, it was so good.

And it was happy hour.

So we got like so many appetizers, some Diet Cokes, and it was like $33.

Yum.

Well, I was also watching your vlog, and it was making me a little bit sad about this mall because it's like

someone somewhere decided we're going to spend all this money to that people like get out there and have fun and do activities and like live.

And nobody

was built outside.

It's like they built it.

They built it and they did not come.

And it's sad.

It's like, okay, so you could what, sit on your phone all day?

Like go to the mall, go ski, go to the water park.

Like they're trying to make real fun activities for people.

And the people said, no, thank you.

There is a mall that's a few years old.

Some company spent a billion dollars building this mall.

It's like, Mr.

Beast filmed a video there.

It's like this insane mall, water parks, indoor skiing, luxury shopping, food court.

Like it's huge.

It's right by MetLife Stadium.

And it was built for the people of New York and New Jersey.

And I mean, a mall at Christmas time is pandemonium.

Not the one I was at last night.

Like people just don't go to this mall.

Yeah, I guess at the time, you know, it's not peak mall hours, like between three and five on a Wednesday.

During the holidays, we'll give them the cost.

We'll have to get the marks there, but it's like we,

no one I know really goes.

You know, it's not like we see tons of stuff happening there.

I know Kim went once.

She took her kids skiing.

Yep, yep.

No, I was talking about that.

And then we talked to him about it.

And hopefully this Patreon gives them a boost because from what I saw in the vlog, I saw successful indoor skiing.

I saw great instructors.

I saw a beautiful ceiling that you were constantly filming in front of.

I heard Kelly Clarkson underneath the tree on the soundtrack.

And I saw a gorgeous meal.

And I can't even imagine what other offerings there are there.

So get out there and go to the Mall of Dreams.

American Dream Mall.

American Dream Mall.

And a gorgeous name.

I had a blast.

Like, no complaints.

Parking was $5 for a couple of hours, which was pretty reasonable.

Like, it was good stuff.

And what town is it in?

East Rutherford.

It's right next to MetLife Stadium where the Jets Giants and Taylor Sports play.

It's not that far.

If you can get to a Jets game, you can get to the mall.

Aaron Rodgers should go to the mall.

If you can see the Nidge, you could see the ad.

Adam.

You could see the Adam for sure.

Adam greater than Nidge?

Something to think about.

Something to think about.

Everyone, go check out that vlog.

I hope you all enjoyed it.

It's also just some of the great Ben Soffer celebrity footage, you know, listening to Lionel Richie and the cookie.

It's a lot of turdy and Ben.

Oh, we did a little mukbang, too, because we went to Mrs.

Fields.

I was so hungry after skiing.

Like, it's really just so.

I know.

You work up an appetite.

It's fun.

And then you eat on the mountain.

They have like such good food.

They better.

Yeah, they've got, I mean, they have it all.

You get a little hot cocoa but we always they have like fried foods it's tasty tasty and some the only thing is sometimes there's restaurants at the top of the mountain middle of the mountain bottom of the mountain usually and so sometimes it's fun to eat at the top of the mountain because it's really nice views and everything but then you have to ski down then you go down with a full belly it's the hardest run no i would never um a lot of people like ski in the morning eat lunch and then ski in the afternoon i've never successfully skied post lunch like I need to be, I need to be empty.

I feel, I feel that.

Yeah, but I'm also a little nervous to ski this year.

I haven't skied in two years, which not even that, but I'm carrying a little extra weight.

And I just hope that I'm able to get around.

But you're carrying extra weight because you gave birth to two human beings.

And that gives you like more superpowers.

Oh, for real.

That's true.

And that's true.

I'm not worried.

Okay, okay.

I should be okay, but it's just like it won't be the same exact like weight.

So maybe we're on the same level now.

Perhaps.

Yeah.

And it's, you'll get onto our level pretty quickly because Snitch and I, we don't really advance to the next level because we don't challenge ourselves, but we're happy with that.

Like, it's enough for us, Dianu.

And then sometimes if we're on a ski trip and like we've been doing the greens for a few days, maybe we'll try one blue for like we're feeling crazy.

And that's also enough for us, Dianu.

Ben told me he went to Vale like before the pandemic and he went skiing with his friends.

And one of his friends is a very good skier and they were on the chairlift.

And one of his friends like tricked him, saying that they were going to a blue and they went to a double black diamond.

And I said, Ben, that is literally like the nastiest prank.

Like I would would not be friends with that person anymore.

No, Ben meets a new friend.

And Ben saw it.

Ben's like a, like a victim.

He saw it.

Like, no, he was really trying to challenge me.

I'm like, he's trying to hurt you.

He's trying to kill you.

Oh, that reminds me.

Speaking of victims, I watched the dumbest fucking movie last night.

What movie?

Everyone's talking about it, May December.

It's at Netflix original with Natalie Portman, Julianne Moore, and Charles Melton from Riverdale.

And it's loosely based off Mary Kay Leturdia,

you know, the famous school teacher who had an affair with her seventh grader and then ended up marrying him and having a bunch of kids with him.

She just actually recently passed.

And so it's loosely based off of that, but like the events of the movie aren't

based on true events.

It's just like the

May, December.

I don't understand why the movie was made.

I didn't understand the point of the movie.

Everyone was honestly terrible, except Charles Melton.

He was fabulous.

And for that, I was happy that they made the movie.

Like

Netflix, you know, giving Charles Melton a chance and like an Oscar, what should be like an Oscar contender, he was excellent.

He played

the young student, but now everyone's all grown up.

So it's like they go back.

So they're making a movie about Mary Kay Laterna in the movie.

And Natalie Portman is the actress who's going to play Mary Kay.

So she goes and spends like some time with Mary Kay, her husband, her family.

And, you know, things get crazy.

Sounds like a good concept.

That's why I watched it.

But it wasn't.

If you asked me what happened in the movie, I don't think I could tell you.

Or like what the plot of the movie is.

They love making movies like that.

Where it's just-here's a bunch of footage.

Do with it what you will.

And then I, of course, went down like a Mary Kay Letterdia rabbit hole.

And that was interesting, but

it was creepy as fuck.

Like, Ben was so disturbed.

He was like, why the fuck did you put this on?

I'm 0 for 2 with Ben.

First was that documentary, Love Has Won, and now Mary Kay Leterd.

Like,

I gotta stop.

I gotta stop taking recommendations from Instagram.

Well, yeah.

that's your first problem.

Yeah.

Why don't you watch the new Lifetime Christmas movie with Jana Kramer that has a sex scene?

I think I would prefer to watch the Hallmark Hanukkah movie with Lewis Litt.

It's called Round and Round.

It might be Lifetime, actually.

I can't remember which one.

Hmm.

Two Great Options.

Two Great Options.

And we have a great show today because there's stories, but there's also Deer Toasters, which we pushed off from yesterday.

We have an update from somebody who wrote in for a very polarizing one a couple of weeks ago.

And we've got great submission.

So I'm excited.

I'm excited too.

So without further ado, to do to do, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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All right,

Josh.

Our first story.

Taylor Swift celebrated her 34th birthday last night at a Leto party alongside Blake Lively and friends.

They did not go to Zero Bond as expected.

They were at a restaurant.

No, we had said, we had said that we think Travis's party for her could be at Zero Bond.

Right.

He wasn't there last night.

No, he didn't go to the party last night.

So maybe he's throwing a party for her this weekend.

No, I'm so crazy.

Like when I drive around, I drove past Nobu uptown and there's like a big tent outside.

I just want to put it out there.

Like maybe it's there.

Or do you think there's a chance that it's going to be in Kansas City and he's going to fly everyone out?

That would be so cute and probably cheaper.

No, but also because he might not be able to leave.

Right.

Kansas City.

That would also just be so cute.

Will it be at Holiday House after he plays the Patriots?

I don't know.

Holiday House is like not private.

But it's also like, how do you play the Patriots and not stop over at Holiday House?

It would be a crime.

Holiday House like is the New England Patriots.

I agree.

So, I don't know.

I feel like this weekend, something's a brewing.

Will it be before the game or after the game?

This looked nice, like a fun night with friends and she was wearing her birthday sparkles, but it wasn't like the thing, right?

No, it it wasn't the thing but it was like a dinner with close friends like blake lively was there sabrina carpenter was there i love sabrina carpenter being brought into this fold i love sabrina carpenter yeah i'm i also love a shorty being brought into the fold because everyone in this group is tall and representation matters and sabrina carpenter is out here like representing us and it's really crazy how i feel like short people stay friends with short people and tall people stay friends with tall people maybe it's a logistical thing you know like i can't hear you up there yeah right but i love to see sabrina crossing over i love and she's really short.

Like, your friends are not tall.

You don't have to.

I have one super tall friend, and I feel like we're always having to move past it.

Kristen.

Oh, Kristen is tall.

And she's like, but she's like normal height, but just compared to us.

She's pretty.

She's like average.

She's a tall girl.

She's a tall girl.

Like when we would take pictures together.

She found a tall husband.

Good for her.

When we take pictures together, like.

It's a problem.

Yeah.

I mean, I have Brian, but that's just like, I can't even talk about that.

Like, that's just not normal.

No, but like your

girl crew is average.

Average.

Yeah.

Like my friends, we're all 5'1 and under, which is crazy.

That is crazy.

And Dana, for those of you who don't know this about Dana, sometimes people will see like a video of her and they'll be like, is Dana really short?

Dana's 4'8.

Wow.

It's rare that like I, she makes me look tall.

And when I wear heels and I'm with Dana, I'm like, what's the, I'm the monster on the hill.

It's very rare that like I feel tall or that I give someone a hug.

I'm like, oh oh my God.

But I experience that every time I see Dana.

She's tiny.

And just so you know, I don't like the feeling of being tall.

Me neither.

But maybe that's because it's just unfamiliar to us.

I just want to say like we are very short.

Whenever people meet us, they're like, you're so much shorter than I thought you'd be.

We're so short.

We're five foot.

Like I am five foot zero.

I'm five foot three quarters.

Maybe with the body, I'm five one.

I just want to say I'd have it no other way.

I love being short.

Me too.

Me too.

I feel like.

Are you worried?

Are you worried about your sons being short, maybe?

No, I don't worry about things that are completely out of my control.

That's so smart.

Like, what's the point?

And also, like, Ben is six, whatever, one, and both of his parents are, like, very average, borderline short.

Like, I don't think it has anything to do with it.

No, it does, but, you know, you could always, like, something,

well, Aaron Gene comes in, and you just literally can't do anything about it.

You can't do anything about it, except just be like a great person.

Right.

A successful person, person, a happy person, a charismatic person, and then no one will give a shit about how tall or short you are.

Right.

Look at Napoleon.

So focus on yourself.

Focus on your insides.

It's so true.

It's so true.

So that's what those are the things I can control.

And that's what I focus on.

That's so smart.

You're so wise.

I'm trying.

I'm trying.

And soon I'll be homesteading.

You know what?

I was, so many people sent me homesteader accounts yesterday.

You know who's a homesteader?

Homesteader like Flex, sort of.

Because I did see some consumer goods.

Magnolia.

Joanna Gaines.

Magnolia Ashre?

No, Joanna Gaines.

I forgot her name for a second.

Is Magnolia's last name Ashre?

Yeah.

Yeah, Theo's last name was Saffer.

Bruno is a wine reb.

But I call him Theo Ashre Sopher.

And I call him Bruno Ashre on Winter.

Of course.

But I've never done Magnolia's first and last name.

She's just not a firstie-lastie.

No, she's a one-name wonder.

Okay, but who's a homesteader?

Becca Martinez

from The Bachelor.

Becca

R-E-C-Short hair.

Excitement excites me.

Yes.

Short hair.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

She's a very successful influencer, podcaster, and homesteader.

She really does it all.

I was on a wormhole of her Instagram yesterday.

I followed her because, like, I was so.

So what has she said?

Like, she's making her own bread.

She did this, like, she did this first bath.

Making your own bread doesn't make you a homesteader.

Okay, fine.

But she made this bath for her baby.

And like her, her older children are like cutting flowers.

And so she put her baby, she just had a newborn baby, Ernest, Ernesto.

And she got like a caraway pop, pretty much, but it wasn't caraway.

It was probably like, looked more like Crusade.

And that's what she used to bathe her baby.

But she picked all these like flowers from her garden and put it in.

It was like a natural rose water bath.

It was...

quite beautiful.

And she had the older kids like clipping the flowers for the bath.

Okay, I just want to say like nothing you've described though is giving home separate

sufficient.

That's like homemade soap with the flower soap.

Okay, I guess, but like bread and flowers.

There was just someone with a garden and a kitchen.

The vibes were homesteading vibes.

That's probably true.

Yeah.

No, it was a beautiful content.

I'm so glad.

Yeah.

So you love to see a homesteading podcaster.

Jackie's going to be out here like any minute turning butter.

I don't, I really don't think I will because I do not have the time to make my own bread.

And we don't even eat bread.

No, and like bread from the store is so good.

But like, I don't even buy bread from the store, really.

I have like, you know, a loaf in my fridge for a rainy grilled cheese day, but it's not like we utilize bread all the time.

Yeah, not like you're like making sandwiches.

I live with Ben Soffer, so like we do often have bread.

And I made a banana bread the other week to make use of some old bananas.

And like

we didn't really eat it because we don't eat banana bread.

I have such a problem with banana bread.

I really can't get into it because I know I'll trigger a nation, but

we need to stop.

There's nothing better than a good banana bread.

Dana brings me this one from Breads in the city and it's so goddamn good.

Dana and this bakery breads.

She came over to my house a little while ago and she brought me like a little home

house warming.

Housewarming gift.

And she brought me stuff from Breads Bakery.

She brought me a rugelach and my favorite Pomiere cookies.

I don't know if I'm saying that right.

P-A-L-M-I-E-R.

Like I call them the elephant ears.

And everyone else there was like, you don't know breads?

You don't know breads.

I'm like, no.

No, because you live uptown.

No, but there's a bunch.

No, it's a downtown thing.

I didn't know it.

Oh, is it?

It feels that way because I didn't know it and you didn't know it.

Well, I am obsessed.

It was the best work of hide I'd ever had.

It was so fucking good.

Try their banana bread and then maybe, maybe you'll sing a different tune.

Well, banana bread is how I feel about carrot cake.

Like, get your fucking fruits and vegetables out of my desserts.

It can't be a dessert if there's a fruit or a vegetable in it.

I support

that thinking,

but I love carrot cake and I love banana bread.

And I'm sorry.

Wait, so why don't you go eat like a broccoli browning?

Like it makes no fucking sense.

If it were good, I would.

But it isn't.

Who knows?

Maybe someone out there makes a good one.

Drop the recipe.

I just don't like it.

Okay.

Well,

Taylor had her birthday.

Oh.

Wow.

Well, we took that really far.

Taylor had her birthday.

She looked gorgina vagina.

Loved seeing, oh, we were talking about Serena Carpenter.

That's how we got here.

I loved all the girlies being out and about.

I saw a video of her getting out of the car with Blake Lively and the Tellers, and the paparazzi flash was so insane.

Like, I just wonder what Miles Teller was thinking, you know?

Yeah.

Because he's like an extremely famous person, and I doubt anything really phases him.

But I was thinking, I'm like, even this must be wild.

Yeah.

I'm surprised he's not going to be able to do that.

Because there's also dark sunglasses because that would really hurt my eyes.

But I have sensitive eyes.

Yeah, no, I was just like, how do you see what's in front of you?

No, you like don't.

It's a lot.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, I'm waiting for the big party.

Also, are you seeing all this drama with Taylor and the comedy show?

I'm sure you're getting tagged in it incessantly.

I am, and I'm choosing to ignore it.

Like, I, I really can't.

I can't.

Yeah.

I just.

And I, and I have thoughts.

It's just upsetting.

So, like, sometimes we have to.

No, the thing is, you have to choose your battles.

Like, I just.

So, okay.

So, Taylor went to a comedy show where all the proceeds were going to Gaza.

And there's like nothing wrong with that in its essence.

However, we all, like, after learning, like, a lot of the aid that gets sent to Gaza actually gets nowhere near the civilians there.

And it actually ends up in the hands of Hamas and in turn creates weapons and just aid for a terrorist organization.

So that's a concern, obviously.

But I don't know, if you're just...

If you're going to get involved now and not mention the atrocities of October 7th and not mention all the Jews who died and not mention the terrorist organizations,

which is ongoing.

Like, that's just disappointing.

It really is.

And Taylor is very intentional.

That's, and I'm not saying that in a bad way at all.

She's like a very meticulous person.

She cares a lot about what people think.

So, this was obviously like a move because, you know, people have on both sides have been disappointed in her for not speaking out.

And so, this was her way of speaking out in a way that I think she felt comfortable and that she felt was safe.

And

yeah, it was a tough blow.

I'm, I, it was, but I'm, I, I, I don't, I don't know.

I don't know how to feel.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, but you also have to keep in mind, you know, like who she is super close with.

Yeah, I don't think she has a Zionist friend.

I don't think so either.

You know, Gigi Hadid,

you know, Selena Gomez, you know, these are not people who have favorable

opinions about Israel or the Jews.

Yeah.

So it's been, it's, that's something I, I deeply struggle with.

Yeah.

So I guess that's why it hasn't been a story.

Like, what's there to say?

Disappointing?

Are we at a point where it also hasn't been like it hasn't been like big mainstream news, but like, okay, so are we at a point where, are you disappointed enough to like stop being a fan of hers and stop talking about her?

Honestly, like talking about her every single day like is good for our business.

So sure.

Why should we be punished?

No, I do.

Like, but also like, this is a person I love.

Like, I,

I don't know.

I'm sure, I don't know.

Now you know.

So, yeah.

In case you were wondering.

Yeah.

And I was.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story in case you were wondering?

Yes.

Oprah Winfrey has admitted to using weight loss medication.

She says she was blamed and shamed for her body for 25 years before deciding to use a weight loss drug.

So a slimmed-down Oprah is looking back on the emotional

Oprah.

Okay.

Is looking back on the emotional turmoil she faced during her decades-long struggle with her weight.

She said, it was a public sport to make fun of me for 25 years, and that she was often blamed and shamed on her journey.

She said, the things that were said about me, said to me, around me, the jokes that were made, you could not get away with today.

She talked about that landing on

Mr.

Blackwell's fashion critic list early in her career crushed her emotionally.

She said, I was on the cover of some magazine and it said, dumpy, frumpy, and downright lumpy.

I just accepted that as that's what it is.

And I didn't feel angry.

I felt sad.

I felt hurt.

I felt shame, but it didn't occur to to me that I could even feel angry.

She said, I swallowed the shame and I accepted that it was my fault.

Now, in her people cover story, she's admitting to using a weight loss drug, not only to help her lose weight, but also to assist in maintaining her figure.

She said, the fact that there's a medically approved prescription for managing weight and staying healthier in my lifetime feels like relief, like redemption, like a gift, and not something to hide behind and once again be ridiculed for.

I'm absolutely done with the shaming from other people, and particularly myself.

That's my queen right there.

We were talking about this.

I I think you weren't on the episode.

I think I hosted with Taylor Strecker.

And Oprah was asked about these medications and she gave just sort of like an evasive answer.

And we were saying how like we need like a face of Ozempic.

Like we need, and Oprah being like the spokesperson, obsessed.

Like we needed Oprah.

Yeah, but I feel like she didn't say which drug she's on, whether like that's okay.

Oh, when I say Ozempic, I'm sorry, I mean just the needles, like in general.

She didn't even say, like, she didn't say that that's what it is.

I mean, we can all glean that that is what it is.

Yes.

but someone had said that like weight watchers bought

so yes this is also like a business thing for oprah oprah is like a majority owner of weight watchers and maybe a year or two ago um

weight watchers bought like a telehealth company that prescribes weight loss drugs.

So it's all, you know, synergy.

Well, which I love that.

And maybe she's like waiting to drop the name until the ink is signed.

But I do think these drugs should be more accessible for people, more affordable for people.

And I hope that's what her MO his here.

Me too.

I completely agree.

There was a lot of people being like, duh, Oprah, we knew.

Like, why didn't you tell us, shut the fuck up?

Like, everybody comes to this admission on their own.

Everyone's journey is their own.

I'm sure Oprah wanted to be like, will this even work for me?

Like, it takes time.

I respect her journey.

I'm a, like, a big,

big fan of her sharing.

And I love this.

And I agree.

Like, hopefully her getting involved with it from a business sense, like really does make it more accessible for people, more affordable.

It shouldn't be as expensive as it is.

It should be covered by insurance because weight is a health concern.

Right.

And hopefully that's her mission here.

Like, if there's anyone who can do it, it's Oprah.

It's Oprah.

Yeah.

Combined with Weight Watchers.

I think there's major potential.

So I hope that's what this is.

Me too.

And she looks great.

She like looks more confident and happy.

Like obviously her body looks different, but there's just like an aura about her.

her i was watching her on

i forget what it was maybe tick tock she made a tick tock with gail and they were just like walking through the office and she's only been wearing purple because she's out here promoting the color purple movie and she just looked so different not even in a physical sense but just like the way she carried herself like it was fabulous i'm really happy for her yeah same and she's really someone who's been through it like and not only in terms of like weight fluctuations but like She's been in the public eye for what, 40 years.

And it was at a time where like you could say shit that you can't say now and like i'm sure like that cover story that she just referred to is just like a the one of many yeah yeah yeah

well our next story is some mama news pregnant sienna miller flaunts her baby bump and poses with her 11-year-old daughter marlo for a vogue photo shoot So she's got the new mama glow.

Sienna Miller showed off her growing baby bump on the cover of Vogue's Winter issue released Wednesday, revealing her bare tummy in a relaxed beach shot.

Seriously, gorgeous photo.

I feel like we were just saying that some that, oh, maybe it was about Sports Illustrated, how they should, like, you know, they had a bunch of people on the cover and they really covered the gamut of everyone.

And they should have had a pregnant woman, too.

Like, they should have.

And I love that Vogue did it.

And the picture is truly beautiful.

Also, her 11-year-old daughters in the photos.

This was a pregnancy announcement.

Oh, I guess.

What, I mean, I don't follow her closely, so I don't know if it should be announced.

But if it is, that's great.

Also, her boyfriend is Ollie Green, who stars in the new season of the Crown.

So that's good.

Oh, that's good.

Sienna Miller is so chic.

Yeah.

Like, there's not even a word.

I feel like she's this generation's like Carolyn Bassett, you know?

She's just like on another level.

And she's so not like a fame whore.

She just gets attention because she's that cool.

Yeah, it's so true.

Every movie she's in, it's like, also, she, to me, is such a chameleon that she'll be in a movie and I don't even realize that it's Sienna Miller.

Like the fact that she played Chris Kyle's wife.

Yep.

What?

Yeah, I didn't even recognize her.

She was like a redhead in that movie.

Runette?

Something.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, she's really like a very talented actress, and she got known for her like talent.

And then she just happens to be this, like, really stylish.

She doesn't, like, she's not like gaudy.

She doesn't wear like a big Chanel purse.

Like, she's just so understated and so simple and chic.

She's really goals.

Like, she's,

she's iconic.

And everything she does is just iconic and chic.

And elegant and refined.

Yeah.

But I really love this color.

And I think it's a, it's a great look for mamas.

And I can't believe there was a time where Jude Law and Sienna Miller were together.

And then what?

He slept with the nanny.

Yeah.

Like, because to me, that coupling...

Like, they might as well be brother and sister.

Like, that's how perfect and similar they are.

Yeah, but I also just like, they don't shock me that they were together because like I associate the, I didn't think I knew them separately until I knew them together But the way that you feel about that is like how I feel about like now Victoria Beckham and David Beckham.

Yes.

Yes.

Wow.

Couldn't have written it any better.

Right.

Well it's a story old as time.

Happy for her and her daughter's name is Marlo, which I'm sure you've seen everyone is saying to you that's Lit's middle name in suits.

And you should name your future pup Marlo as opposed to Shelly.

No, I still like Shelly also.

Also, like, I know someone, Jessica Marlowe, and like, that's just what I think of when I think Marlowe.

So, I feel like I don't like it for a name for a puppy.

I also think of the Marlowe pillow.

What's that?

Oh, it's a pillow.

I guess you don't watch my Instagram stories.

I've done a few ads for them, and it's a pillow where it's like there's what it's a one-size-fits-all pillow.

You can like zip both sides to make it firmer or plusher.

Oh, that's smart.

Yeah, you don't need to go like pressing around on pillows.

Like, it's just the one pillow, the Marlowe pillow.

Right now, I'm enjoying, I'm stuck on Shelly, but I don't know if that's the name.

Okay.

I also haven't brought it up to Ben.

I could see him being like, I hate that name.

I don't see that for Ben.

He'll support whatever you want.

Yeah, because he doesn't really have a choice, you know?

Are you ready for our next story?

A little more mama news.

Is this number four?

Number four.

Yeah, I'm ready.

Paris Hilton says she was joking about not changing her son's diaper for the first month of his life.

So Paris Hilton had to issue an apology.

Well, she didn't have to.

She could could do whatever she wants.

But I guess on her show, they're airing the season now where she has her son and she goes to change his diaper and she said,

she made a joke like, this is the first diaper that she's changed in the whole month of his life.

And I guess people were very upset about there.

So she put out an extremely long statement.

Oh, read it.

About how it was a joke.

And I firmly believe her.

She said, hey, there it's Paris.

Just wanted to clear the air about something.

On my show, Parents in Love.

I joked about changing a diaper for the first time, which let's be honest, was just me having having a bit of fun.

As you can see, I changed his diaper the night I brought him home.

But in all seriousness, when it comes to being a mom, I'm fully involved and loving every moment of it.

It's interesting how a playful comment can be taken so seriously.

Even though this seems to them was the most real, authentic, and raw I've ever been with my fans.

Sometimes I play into the whimsical

character I portrayed on the simple life.

It's a role that's hard to shake off completely.

While I love a good laugh, I also believe in being real and responsible, especially as a parent.

Let's remember to find the humor in life, but also to cherish and respect the real moments.

Thanks for understanding.

I actually like totally understand her explanation, like of this, like she has this like character that she's really shed over the last few years.

Like we've gotten to know the real Paris through her book and her documentary.

But it was this like character she played for so many years.

And I'm sure when the camera's in front of her, it's hard not to be like, eh, that's hot.

And so I totally get it.

Yeah.

I also find like in the first month of baby's life, like the diaper, the dad's doing the diapers.

Like that's what I'm saying.

That was another thing I wanted to say, but I can't speak because I'm not a mom but like okay let's say it was she didn't change a diaper for the first month because the kid has a dad and I'm sure a nanny like is that so bad no like I feel like whenever like I would be with maybe all the time and whenever it was time to change diaper okay like now I can get up and go to the bathroom or brush my teeth or wash my face and I feel like I would have made the same joke like oh my gosh I haven't changed a diaper in two weeks because like right that was just like not my responsibility.

So I also don't feel like it's that crazy of a thing to say.

And I do think she was also joking.

Like even when I say, oh, I haven't changed a diaper in two weeks.

like yes i have changed a diaper but like not a ton of them because that's daddy duty like i also just think it's so important to remember like when if you're gonna like critique you know on the internet someone's parenting it's so important to remember that fathers exist

and it's a very real thing you know yeah yeah so don't forget about the fathers yeah no that's like one i feel like between diapers and also baths baby baths that's like daddy duty yeah because like the baby's really on the mom so much So that like when the daily things need to get done, it's like, oh, great.

Now mom can get out of bed for the first time today.

Right.

That's what we're saying.

And also, not the case in Paris's situation because she had a surrogate, but for a lot of women, like, we are healing.

So I, and my back is broken.

I don't want to stand over the changing table.

Your back, your vagina.

No, but like to change the first few weeks of changing diapers, like my back, also, that's from giving birth, but also from breastfeeding.

Like and epidural, right?

Yeah, but I think it's more so like the, the,

it's the whole thing.

So painful to stand over and change to stand and do the bath.

Like daddy duty.

Daddy, literal duty.

Literal duty.

You know, don't forget about the dads.

Yeah, don't sleep on them.

They are real.

Don't sleep on them.

Yeah, and I have a feeling her husband's like very involved.

So yeah.

But I mean, I literally don't know that, but I just have a feeling.

But also I read an article from them when she was doing that press about her book, right when like Phoenix was born.

I forget which cover she did.

Maybe it was like W Magazine.

They were talking about how the first few weeks of Phoenix is like, they did not have any help.

They did it all themselves.

Like, where's that?

Right.

So, but I totally, I respect her explanation because it actually makes sense.

Yeah.

And I'm sure like her seeing like people clowning on her for being like, she doesn't, she's not a present mother, like that hurts.

And it's like, oh, shit.

Okay.

Let me explain to you.

Yeah.

Let me explain to you, fools.

Fools.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

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Thank you, Law.

You're welcome.

Our fifth and final story: a little rumored new couple news.

RNCN.

Drake and Camilla Cabello cozy up in Turks and Caicos with jet skis and a boat ride.

A source says he digs her vibe.

So Drake and Camilla Cabello were spotted flirtatiously chatting while vacationing in Turks and Caicos.

According to videos obtained and posted on Dumois, they were seen giggling and standing close as they let loose on a rickety boat that was tagged at the No Frills Outdoor Dive Barbara.

Not the rickety boat.

Outdoor dive bar, Noah's Ark Beach Club.

The songstress was dressed in a black one-piece bathing suit while he opted for a blue tie-dye muscle tee and shorts.

There was also a picture of them on jet skis, separate skis, but like next to each other.

So they're on vacation together.

There's no pictures of them kissing or touching, but they're on a trip together, which is kind of crazy.

The source says she was with a friend and he was only paying Camilla attention.

I know, but like these pictures are so platonic.

Yeah, no, there's no no sexiness.

Like, and maybe like the sexiness is just hasn't been captured, or they're kind of like courting each other and they're not doing PDA right now.

You court, you court someone by taking them on vacation.

Celebrities are just different from us.

They are, but like, I feel like for any human being, like, when you go on vacation, it's because like you already have a connection with someone, you know?

Yeah, I'm going to need a little more to believe this is what I'm saying.

Even though, yes, technically, it's like right in front of me and they're together on vacation.

I know, but historically, like celebrities on yachts, like that's where we've gotten like iconic sexy photos.

Of course, who remembers Harry and Kendall laying on that yacht?

Like we always, I feel like a vacation is where you're very sexy and touchy and in the ocean and you're in a bathing suit and you're naked.

Like, I don't know.

It's giving friends.

As stated, it was a rickety boat that they were on.

Like, I'm watching the video and it's not like a yacht where lounging and we're just like lost in each other.

Like, sure, like on a party boat sort of thing.

That's not the vibe.

A boost cruise.

A boost cruise, literally.

So they're just like talking and having, you know, doing their courtship.

I think if there's touchy feeliness, if there is, it's happening later or before.

I just need more.

That's all I'll say.

I agree.

But let's talk about the potential coupling and what our thoughts would be.

I feel like she's...

How old is she?

She's 26 and he's 37.

Appropriate.

I like it.

Somewhat.

I like it.

I feel like he dates younger.

I feel like he doesn't really date like famous people.

Of course, we know Rihanna, but I feel like every girl he's like spotted with or.

It's always like someone on like an Instagram model or

a star.

A nay.

Yeah, so

I like this.

I like it too.

I hope it's true.

He deserves love.

Can we talk about Camilla Cabello's friendship with Taylor Swift?

Like, where did that go?

I'm sure it's just lying dormant.

I don't think there's beef.

I think just Camilla's, you know, hard to pin down.

Really?

Yeah.

I don't like where does she live

LA does she

for sure I don't know I feel like she just kind of does her own thing I don't know I know she lives in LA but her half her heart is in Havana Una

yeah I just feel like she's taking some Camilla time

okay and she's not like in the middle of Drake and Taylor Swift pounding the pavement with tailored but Drake and Taylor are like are close so like this maybe she set them up yeah I think it's all good like I think just Camilla, like, sometimes makes herself scarce.

And then, other times, like, you, she's inescapable.

She has every song on the radio is Camilla Cabello.

Like, I think she comes in waves.

She does come in waves.

There was a time where, like, you could not get away from Camilla Cabello.

And her music is just pervasive, like, when she chooses to engage with the world.

And I feel like sometimes she just likes to, honestly, I feel like she kind of has a healthy balance.

I feel like maybe she's Meredith Marksing and disengaging.

For now.

For now.

So

I would ship ship if there is a ship that's not a rickety boat.

It's also just so interesting

the highs and lows almost because I was thinking the other day about Sean Mendez, how like there was a time where he was like the biggest star in the world and he's still super famous.

But like where in the world is Sean Mendez?

Maybe like his aforementioned love, he comes in waves.

Yeah.

Which I think is good.

Take time for yourself.

Don't always be like promoting, touring, writing, singing.

Like take your time.

That's how you burn out.

Enjoy your life.

Enjoy the spoils of everything that you've worked for.

Yeah, I actually just was watching this video of Sia.

She did Zane Lowe and she, he was like, what else do you want to do?

And she was like, honestly, like nothing.

Like, I've won Grammys.

I've met Beyonce.

Like, I've worked with everyone.

Like, what's with this like insatiable hunger?

Like, I'm good.

My, I've gotten to take my parents all around the world.

It was so refreshingly healthy.

Yeah.

And I was like, yeah, and you know what?

That's what I see.

Like, Sia's not always doing the most everywhere, number one, but she's just is popular because of her talent.

And like, that's enough for her.

And it was honestly so refreshing, like, outside of this, like, insane hustle culture.

Yeah.

And she's another one where when she puts out an album, like, all her songs are everywhere on the radio.

And that's great.

And then sometimes we don't hear from her because she's enjoying that success.

When she puts out music, she's not like on the Today Show, GMA ever.

Like, she just puts it out, promotes it a little bit.

Well, she's different from any other artist because she's in it for like the love of the music.

Like, she could just write songs, put them out, and we literally don't even see her.

She's Hannah.

Montana.

So she's not like everyone else, else, but I do think it's a really healthy mentality that others should try and emulate.

But I also think that's something that's innate.

You know, you can't teach someone that.

And some people who are always hungry and striving for the next thing will always feel that way and it will never be enough for them.

And it's sad.

Sometimes, but sometimes you learn that lesson the hard way.

Yeah, because then you look back on the times when you thought you didn't have enough and you're like, if only I could get back to that.

Exactly.

But then the people who are always striving and wanting to achieve can accomplish really great things that maybe the people who are like, this is enough for me, Dainu, don't.

Yes.

There's two sides to every coin is what we're saying.

And what we're also saying is that those are the fast five, but we're far from done because we have dear toasters, our weekly advice segment.

So once a week, we will take three submissions from the girlies who need help from us.

And if you want to submit, you can do so in one of two ways.

You can go to the toastpodcast.com, scroll down a little bit.

There's a little submission box.

It's totally anonymous.

Try and keep it brief.

If you've written us in and we haven't read it, it might be too long.

And then you can also email us, dear toasters at gmail.com.

We'll keep it anonymous, of course.

So our first one, I am writing in.

Oh, sorry.

Hi, Jackson Claude.

I am writing in because I recently lost a ton of a weight, a ton of weight, thanks to Ozempic.

Before starting Ozempic, I gave all my cute designer clothes that didn't fit me anymore to my best friend because they were too good to go to waste.

And I never thought I'd lose the weight or be able to get on Ozepic.

The clothes are not things I can just rebuy for myself.

They were all high-end designer that I've collected over the years.

Now that I'm back to my waist smaller size, I really want those clothes back.

I recently saw her and she was wearing a pair of my expensive pants and I mentioned how those probably would fit me now.

She said, hmm, and moved on from the conversation.

Should I just flat out, flat out ask for my closet back?

Yes.

Yeah.

Send like a really sweet text being like, hey, I was so like happy to give you those things when I thought they would no longer fit me, but I've lost the weight and I would love to get back into some of them.

If you, you know, if you still have them, could I, how do you say, can I get it back?

And like, what?

Let me just say it honestly.

If this is a true friend, like she'll be happy for you and we'll be grateful for the year she got with clothes she didn't have to pay for.

Like, I'm sorry.

If she says no, she's psychotic.

And just be like,

hey, Christian, I don't know.

I was just thinking about all the clothes I gave you like last year and how they probably fit me now.

And I'm so excited about that possibility.

And I'm wondering if you'd be able, if I can come pick them up, like make it easy for her.

Don't be like, can you drop them off?

Be like, can I come pick them up?

Like, I really want to try them on and see if any of them fit me because I've been dying to wear them for so long.

Yeah.

Like, just make it about you.

And then, of course, make the picking up process easy because don't give her a job.

Be like, can you drop it off at my building?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do it though.

Do it.

I mean, the worst thing that happens is she says no and you've lost a friend but I think it's worth you should do it I mean and it's literally like money and clothes like it's yours snatch it snatch it this next one is so

interesting Dear Jackson Latourde, I became a toaster over a year ago and my life is forever changed.

I'm writing in for some wedding planning advice.

I'm getting married in June to a P job and we are so excited.

We're in the thick of wedding planning and we recently found out that another couple from the town we grew up in is getting married at our venue the night before our wedding.

I went to high school with the bride, but I wasn't friendly with her and she's a few years younger than me.

She DM'd me very nicely talking about how we're both getting married at the same venue, let alone the same weekend.

She then inquired if we wanted to go in on flowers together for the tables at the venue since we're gonna have back-to-back weddings.

Is this weird that she wants to share some of the flowers 50-50 or is this financially responsible considering while planning a wedding in this day and age?

Thanks so much for booing me daily.

Forever, sincerely, a forever toaster.

That's not the worst idea I've ever heard.

It's not.

My only concern was that like the flowers might get like destroyed or wilted at her event.

People are drunk.

People take flowers home.

Yeah, so like from weddings.

She'll get like the best of the flowers.

But sometimes like they sit on the centerpiece of the table, nobody touches them and they're still good the next day.

Sometimes.

I think she should pay 60%.

I was just going to say that.

I think there's nothing wrong.

Do you think there'll be a lot of crossover at your wedding?

Even if there is, there's a way to like have the same flowers, but dress up other things differently.

Like if you're doing your different linens linens and like

it just you could have different lighting it just would look different people aren't going to be that eagle-eyed no and the money you would spend you can either save it or you can spend on more decor I like this idea this premise honestly and I want you guys to I think it's kind of genius yeah

and if you don't want to do it then then you can just say no but like I think it's worth inquiring and seeing if she'll pay a little more because they will be fresher for her yeah no but it's also kind of like amazing that I feel like nobody gets this Yeah, that's not what I thought.

The particular wedding venues, wedding venues on Saturday, they bring in all this stuff gone by Saturday night, Sunday, all this stuff.

It's so wasteful.

So if you happen to know the person, it's kind of.

No, you guys are kind of turning the industry on its head.

Yeah.

This could be like a really good business idea for like people who connect people in towns who are having like weddings back to back.

Yeah, but I agree that you should pay a little bit less because you're getting it second and you never know.

I mean, I see like, you know, always at weddings, like the old lady leaving with three centerpieces in her car.

Like, okay.

Yeah, you never know and you have to be prepared for that.

But if you just save 60% on your flowers, then okay,

I could live with that.

I think this is major.

Yeah.

I think you should be.

Innovative.

I have one more and then I'll do a, because this one's just like a short deer toaster and it's so funny.

Long time listener, first time emailer.

Important question for you both.

What position are we reading in?

Is there some sort of magic reading pillow or couch that I am missing?

I know you're both slaying the Goodreads goals, so you must have found a comfortable position.

Signed a toaster with a sore neck.

It's a good question.

My neck is in sore.

It's my hands.

It definitely is hard to get a good position.

What I've recently been doing, because I have a big Kindle, is I lay in bed on my back with my pillows like up on my neck.

I put my legs up.

My knees are like this.

And then I lay the Kindle on my knees.

Oh, that's okay.

I sometimes, if I'm reading like not under the covers, I'll sit up.

I actually sometimes put my nursing pillow on my lap so it's like a rest for my Kindle and my hands.

It's my wrists that hurt the most, not my neck.

Yes.

And then a lot of times I read like with the lights off under the covers and I'm on my side and then I switch sides.

I'm on my side a lot too when I read and I think that's helpful.

But can we talk about how unbelievably torturous it is to read a physical book, like especially if you're at the way beginning or the way end, like with the way the pages lay flat?

Like I just I like I'm always like breaking the neck of my book so it like lays even.

It's so annoying Kindle

Kindle because when you're reading a book there's always like the right side is always coming modern solutions for an archaic problem

you said it that would be funny if that was our title today invert

inverse yeah two days ago our third and final deer toasters is an update so I'm gonna read her original submission found you guys on tick tock I need advice in a bad way I was going through my boyfriend's phone and came across a picture I took of one of my friends in a bathing suit that was on my camera roll.

It was never on a social media platform.

The photo even said live in the top corner.

I asked him about it and he claimed he screenshotted it off of Instagram, which I debunked immediately because it was never posted.

He gave no further explanation for himself and denied it, that he denied that he saved it from my camera roll, which was the only place that the picture existed.

I don't think I was here this day that this was submitted because I'm in shock.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Oh.

So I'm not sure how to move forward with this information.

XOXO, a turned-off toaster.

I feel like I have like a memory of reading this.

No, I've never heard this before.

So.

Isn't it crazy?

Like the live photo, like he literally went on her phone, clearly sent it to himself.

I'm in shock.

What I don't know what you advised, but read the update.

Ready?

Hey, girls, I'm the one that wrote in about her boyfriend sending himself a picture of

off my phone of my friend in a bikini.

I just wanted to let you know that I found out they had been sleeping together the entire time.

Girlfriend intuition to go through the phone never fails.

You were correct.

Yeah, what we said was like, why were you going through his phone in the first place?

You know, what came first?

The chicken or the egg?

You obviously had a reason for snooping.

Like, I always hate for my, like,

it, my response or my advice to be like, this is the reddest of flags.

And, like, you can't be with this person if he's, like, looking up a bikini photos of your friend.

I'm glad that solved itself.

Yeah.

Damn.

Double homicide, losing a friend and a boyfriend.

No, you saved yourself time, friendship.

You don't have to get drinks with this lying, cheating whore.

You don't have to talk to him.

Oh, true.

You know, think about a future with him.

Time equals saved.

No, but you're right.

Like, when we read these things, like, the inclination is always to be like, this is a big red flag.

Get rid of this loser.

I know, but it's like, I can't tell everyone to break up with their boyfriend.

Sometimes, like, people do things that are bad, but like, you have to work through it.

And, like, I feel like we see this all the time on shows and stuff where, like, someone will cheat.

And it's like, yeah, you need to break up with the cheater, but like, they work through it and it's better and it's good.

So, like, sometimes the advice isn't to break up.

I know.

Also, somebody I think posted this in one of our Facebook groups, and it's so funny.

Like, literally, every time we do a deer toaster is about someone's boyfriend, they write in, like, I've been with my fiancé for three years, total PJOM.

They always call him PJM.

And then they continue to write like the most vile, atrocious thing that this person did.

And it's like so.

And when I hear that at the beginning of a Dear Toaster, it's like, my fiancé, total P jump, he's the best.

Then, whatever the thing that's going to come after is, I'm like, oh, well, he's a P jump, he's the best.

So that thing after, like, we're going, I'm going to clean it up for you because he's obviously a good person.

But maybe I need to be questioning that initial judgment.

Never stop asking why.

Yeah, that always complicates things.

Oh, it's hits a PJOM, but he has a picture of your friend in a bikini, but he's a PJOM.

But he's, but he's maybe he's going to like buy you that bikini because he thought it was.

Did she call him a PJOM?

No, she didn't call him a P-jum in this one.

So what did she say?

How long were they together?

Just called him.

That's also relevant information.

If you've been together six months or a year, like I will more likely advise breakup with him.

If it's like a seven-year, this is your long-term partner and you guys are in a come-in-law marriage.

Like, I might want to work through some things.

Yeah, of course.

We'll give it more effort.

Yeah.

We'll save it.

Yeah.

But when I hear boyfriend, I'm like, he could go.

Merk.

Yeah.

Boyfriend, not anymore.

So that's Dear Toasters.

Don't forget to submit your submission at deertoasters at gmail.com or head over to the toastpodcast.com.

This was our second to last episode of the week.

Tomorrow's episode 2: last episode of the year.

The final episode of the year.

Of the year.

So

don't miss it.

Tomorrow's going to be sad, emotional, reflective.

Final.

Final.

So thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts anywhere.

Podcasts can be found.

So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeart, Radio, Cast Box, all the places.

Wherever you listen to podcasts, find us a toast lead to five-star view about how beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are.

Hope you guys have an amazing day.

We'll see you tomorrow for Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on on Friday.

Love ya.

Bye.

Love ya.

Bye.