This One's For Du: Friday, December 8th, 2023

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Friday.

I don't feel like singing today, even though I'm really glad it's Friday.

I've never needed a weekend more.

Um, hey, guys, I'm back.

Sorry for missing yesterday's episode.

I was planning on doing it, like, I was fully dressed.

Me too.

It was just at the 11th hour.

That the day took such a turn.

Um,

so there was no episode yesterday because my worst nightmare came true, and Theo left us yesterday.

I can't believe I'm saying that.

How are you?

I'm okay.

Like I'm going through like highs and lows.

Like I cried on the toilet this morning, but then I was fine for the rest of the day.

It just keeps hitting me in different ways and like weird things.

And, you know, I'm trying to avoid like all pictures, but he's just everywhere because that's like where he was, you know?

And he's everywhere at the studio.

I know.

For sure.

So he, I'm okay.

I do feel like I've been slowly mourning Theo since we found out the news.

Like I knew this day was going to come.

So I don't, it doesn't feel as fresh, but the actual like experience of like putting a dog down, which I had never done, was so hard.

And I just remember like wanting to get it over with.

Basically what happened is like.

The last like two days, he was just like like in bad shape and I was really ignoring a lot of it.

But when we woke up yesterday morning, it was just like unignorable.

We woke up and I was like, what is that smell?

And like my entire bedroom was covered in vomit and poop.

And Theo got in bed with us and just started vomiting in his sleep.

And so Ben and I just like looked at each other and we were like, we had a doctor's appointment for like acupuncture at 11.

And I called the place and I was like, can we come in earlier to see like a regular doctor?

And also like, do you guys, I didn't know, like, you have to ask, like, do you guys do that?

Do you euthanize?

And they were like, yes, come in immediately.

So we went to your vet care on the upper east side and they were really amazing and

it was just like a pretty place you know it's like very cute and blue and as sad as it was i felt like when we were told to put him down two weeks ago at the hospital like the hospital was so depressing and and i just don't think that was like a good place for theo to go

And I think this place, like, it was just like prettier and everyone was so nice.

And I have no, like the only thing that brought me peace and that continues to bring me peace is I know I did the right thing of course like his time was up and I felt like I kept him home and I kept him comfortable for as long as I could but I don't think he was comfortable anymore and that's not fair and it just like dawned on me that we've been like you know we can up burning him a little bit, which is exactly what I said I didn't want to do.

Like he was only eating because we were giving him an appetite stimulant.

He wasn't walking.

He was only shitting because we were giving him laxatives.

He was wearing diapers.

Like it's not a way to live.

For sure.

But when you first set out to do that, it was just to get him into treatment so then he could go on to live life.

But I think it's becoming clear that like it would always be like this.

And that's when you've decided to make the decision.

So yeah, we were just thinking like, okay, yeah, radiation might work, but it probably won't.

And even if it does,

it's not going to give him much more time.

And given the rate that things were going, it wasn't making him more comfortable.

So I know I did the right thing.

And

when I walked in there, like, we weren't sure what we were going to do, but we left the house and we were like, this is a real possibility.

So we need to just like start thinking that way.

And when I walked out of the house, I'm carrying Theo and we're walking across the street and it's snowing.

And I texted you and I was like, oh my God, it's snowing.

Like, what does that mean?

I wasn't sure if it was a sign to keep going or that this was the end.

Like, I wasn't sure, but I knew it meant something.

And you said, I was like, it's snowing.

What does it mean?

And you said, it means that Theo got to see the snow before Christmas.

And that really in that moment, like, I knew, I knew what we were going to do.

So, we did.

And then, and then when you left, it was not snowing.

It wasn't snowing.

Yeah.

No, like, I, I know I made the right decision.

And that's, like, the only thing that brings me peace.

Like, I have no regrets about how the whole situation unfolded.

So he got to come home and he got to be with us.

And I got more time with him.

And he got more time with us.

But towards, like, the last two, three days, like, he wasn't there.

Like, I don't even think he knew where he was.

Like,

so I know I made the right decision.

And that's

that brings me peace.

Yeah.

And I do think the last few weeks he was in heaven with you guys in bed watching gossip girl.

Yeah.

Eating everything.

He finally got to eat whatever he wanted.

He had an insomnia cookie.

Like he was living life.

It was so hard.

Like he got to see the tree.

He got to be in a stroller.

Yeah.

No, it's, it's true.

And

there's just like so many questions they ask you.

Like, I don't know, you know?

Like what?

Like, first of all, what do you want to do do with the remains?

And they like brought me this, like, list of options.

And I literally called my rabbi because I'm like, we don't do this, like, cremating.

And he was like, you know, there's nothing in the halacha about like pet remains, like, do whatever you want, whatever makes you happy.

I don't know, just like cremation is so inherently not Jewish.

And I just, I wasn't pulled to that at all.

So I didn't do it.

And then also, like, do you want to be in the room?

And I didn't want to.

And Ben was like, I don't want Theo to be alone.

And the doctor, his name was Dr.

Mendez, he was, he had the best disposition.

Like of all the doctors I've seen this entire journey, like he was, he made me feel so much better.

Like having bedside manners, so important.

Like it really is.

And he was so smart.

And he was just like,

This is this is what I did with my dog.

This is what other people do.

Like he was just very level-headed about the whole situation and he was like really gentle with Theo.

So we ended up staying in the room.

There's basically like two things that they do

to put a dog dog down.

The first is like they give them human-grade anesthetic.

And the doctor was like, up until that point, like he'll be able to see and hear you.

But once we put this in, like, he's completely unconscious.

And then they do the second drug, which is, you know, the final nail in the coffin, if you will.

So we, we stayed for him to get the anesthetic, and his eyes just completely glazed over and his stomach like wasn't moving.

And I was like, okay, that, like, that was enough for me.

It like freaked me out a little bit.

And so we left.

And

I just, I really wanted to get it over with.

Like, I kept wishing Theo would just like take his own last breath so I didn't have to be the one to make the decision because it's so sad.

It's so sad and it's really hard.

It's a hard choice to make.

Yeah, but I know I made the right decision.

Like I keep saying that because I know I did.

Yeah.

And I just kept thinking like, I've just been like

when we got home, there was like already like bagels, flowers, food, like everything.

And I know that there are people who like, you know, put their dogs down and their dogs are their whole life and they don't have other people around them.

And so, I'm just trying to, like, really focus on how lucky we are to have given him like the best care I could have given.

Like, I literally spent every dollar I had to keep him comfortable.

Like, the fact that I was able to do that, I'm so lucky.

The fact that I have people in my life who care about me, who cared about Theo, people who met him, people who didn't meet him, like literally

like reading the comments on my Instagram, like made me cry, but it's just like thousands of people.

Who can say that?

He touched thousands of people.

And not everyone can say that.

So, I'm really just trying to focus on how really lucky I am.

And

just like

not focus on like the last couple of months, but really focus on like Theo's whole life.

Like

I think people are like, why are you guys so obsessed with cavaliers?

And we had one growing up.

And when our parents got divorced, we like lost.

the dog and the divorce and then our dad passed away and so like we really never got closure with the childhood dog that we loved so much.

And years later, whenever I would see like a cavalier on the street, it would just like it means so much to me.

And it was like so much nostalgia and like our childhood.

And I remember when I was getting married, I like realized that I have free will and I'm like an adult and I can do stuff.

So I got a cavalier and it was like this thing I always wanted my whole life.

And that was Theo.

And I did it.

And like, it made me so happy and it made our whole family so happy.

And we got Bruno and we got Magnolia.

And, like, he just started this whole love affair for our family.

And he, like, I know he, like, he served his purpose.

And

I wish I got more time.

And I do feel really robbed to have only gotten six years.

It's so unfair.

And I'm really trying not to, like, enter that stage of grief where I'm just angry.

Cause like it's so unfair.

But it's okay.

I want to get another dog.

My house feels sad.

When we got home, we just like immediately got rid of everything because like

Theo was, and he was always everywhere, but especially in like the recent weeks, he required so many more things, like meds and diapers.

And I just threw it all out because if I had to see it, I know it would like really trigger me.

So I'm okay.

Like I, I really, I am okay.

You do seem measured.

Like, and

I'm sad.

I'm sad.

Not a basket case.

It means that you have every right to be.

When I'm distracted, like, I really can't be on my phone because people are being so nice, but like, it's really, like, it's making me really.

I'm sure it's a lot.

Even I'm getting so many messages.

I'm just an empty.

So, like,

I'm okay.

I really am.

Like, as long as I'm distracted, like, I'm fine.

Well, that's what the toast does, distracts.

But I do also feel like we have to honor

he, he's the third co-host.

Everyone says, who would be the co-host if one of you dropped out?

Like, it would have been Theo.

No, he came to work every day.

He showed up to work every day with a smile on his face.

Yeah, no, we built this brand like off of Theo's back.

Theo was there for you in the cancellation.

No, he really was, by the way.

Like, when I think about how many things I've been through, like, with Theo, he was so receptive to my emotions.

Like, he always knew when to behave.

And, like, he was really, I remember him being like so emotionally supportive for me when I got canceled.

Like, Theo's been with me through so much through highs and lows.

And you know what?

When he went out on a high, and

he went out on a high I didn't like I did I don't like I do need him

but like I don't need him right now you know he got you to a great place yeah where like I'm really happy I was like in the tub yesterday I can't get like the tub is really depressing for me but like I was really smelly like covered in poop and I got out and I was just like looking at myself in the mirror and I'm like so mad at myself because I finally feel like I'm at like a really good like physically healthy place where I can do more with Theo.

Like Ben was always the one like doing the physical stuff.

Like I was the bed mom and Ben was the

walk mom.

Park dad.

And I like feel so guilty that like I finally got to a place where like I can do more things with him and like now I can't even do them.

Well on the other side of it, he also is a lap dog and most of most parts of him just wanted to lay in bed

with his mama all day and his mama provided.

And that's what he did.

He does fed the best television.

Yeah.

The best scratchies.

I'm okay.

I just honestly, like, I can't listen to music.

I find it so triggering.

I understand that.

Like, Love You Anyway by Luke Holmes.

Like, seriously?

Oh, give me a bridge.

You have to boycott the whole album.

Yeah, because you know what?

This one's for due.

Doot, dad, doo.

Doot, da, da, dude.

So part of the lore.

Every part of how I speak is decoded.

I know.

I do think the timing is like good.

I need a few days.

So like it being the weekend is really helpful.

But then also like our end of year break coming up, like I need some time and I'm excited we're all going away together and that I can like be with other people.

And then I will, I will get another dog, like for real.

I'm excited.

Me too.

We'll look to the future.

That's what you would want for you.

I know.

I know.

So I'm okay.

I really am.

Because it's not so fresh in the sense I don't feel like day one.

It feels like day 14.

Yeah.

And

right.

As it is,

you had like time to come around to the idea as much as you could and prepare yourself as much as you could.

Yeah.

But still, it's, I don't know, yesterday was like so different.

It felt so different.

Like when you said that you were really thinking, like it really hadn't hit me.

I've just been in denial.

Me too.

You know what?

I was actually getting a manicure.

I got a turdy cure.

I got the turdy special.

You know what song was playing when it was this time on in the

salon

when you believe pentatonics version?

Oh my god chills because you know what song was was playing at the vet they were like you can take as much timing as you need and just let us know when you're ready and so when we were taking that time it was so depressing stay with me by sam smith and like oh won't you oh yeah it was they should curate the playlist a little better just saying

i was like you're kidding me they need kelly clarkson yeah they need

lights Christmas tunes.

I cracked out the Christmas playlist last night.

Yeah, so music is like a very sensitive point for me.

I will not be listening.

Even though I think I'm going to go to a concert tonight.

I just like, whenever I'm doing stuff, I am okay.

What concert?

It's Jingle Ball.

So it's like a medley of concerts.

Oh.

And Olivia Rodrigo's playing and Ben Wants to Go.

And I think, I think I should.

Olivia Rodrigo's playing and Ben Wants to Go.

Classic.

Yeah.

That'll be fun.

Yeah.

No, I don't.

With some of you?

No, I'm going to go with a couple people.

Sitch, the Taylors.

You know who goes to Jingle Ball every year?

Dana.

Dana.

Does she?

She loves Jingle Ball.

Oh my God.

I'm going to text her.

Jingle Ball is so middle school coded.

Dana is middle school.

Dana

is stuck in a time warp where she's a middle schooler going through life as a 31-year-old woman.

No, that's so true.

It's, I literally knew what you were going to say.

Like,

that is so funny.

She doesn't miss a year of jingle ball.

She doesn't make a big thing of it.

I wouldn't be surprised if she goes by herself sometimes.

Well, you know what?

I'm glad I'm going then.

So she has someone to go with.

She would love an invite.

Okay, I'll text her.

That's so funny.

Okay, so you're just like teeny bopping your way through life tonight.

Yeah, I just want to be distracted.

And that's what I will be doing.

That's what we will be doing today.

How are you doing?

I know Dew meant a lot to you.

Dew meant so much to me.

But I don't want to make it about me.

No, you can.

It's okay.

Like, I like, it makes me feel good that like so many people like loved this thing that I brought to them, you know?

It's just there was a time when he was my first and only nibling I know and he taught me how to be an auntie and I remember when Kayla was being born and Theo was the only other nibbling and I was like, I don't know how I could love a baby more than I love Theo.

I know.

But he expanded my heart

and showed me how to be an auntie and made me a proud auntie.

Yeah.

And really like, I mean, you didn't become an auntie until after until Kayla, but

it's been such a blessing.

And when he used to stay by me, and I used to watch his paws after every single walk, because I was a nutcase.

And at one time, I gave him a whole bath so he could sleep in bed with me and watch Yellowstone.

And then you came and picked him up.

Yeah.

And I wanted him to stay.

I remember.

And we just

so many good, so many good times.

Such a sweet soul.

It's so crazy.

Like the last time him and Brute were together, if you had told me, I know.

This is the last time they would be, that would have been like right before I came back to to Florida.

I wouldn't, I would be like, what?

I know, it's the craziest thing.

It's the craziest thing.

And I have my dew pillow that I'm looking at.

I'm not getting rid of it.

The brew pillow is like actually really triggering me.

I know.

I have to like keep Brew off of FaceTime.

Yeah.

Like, Bruno, go in the corner.

Brew, not now.

Bruno, go, go hide from Auntie.

It's not your time.

But no, Bruno is Bruno's grieving.

I know.

And also it's like, all the kids love Theo.

I know.

Michaela loves Theo.

Harry loves Fa.

Like, do we tell them?

No.

Harry, I don't, I think he's young enough that he won't realize.

Let's see what happens next time we're at your apartment.

Like if he's asking, but right now he doesn't like ask for Fa.

So he might forget.

I wouldn't tell him anything.

I'd just be like, who?

What?

Where's the wait?

Gaslight the shit.

And then you'll have a new dog and be like, it's Fa.

Fa.

Yeah.

And since it's a nickname, it's fine.

Yeah.

I really want to get on getting another dog.

Like my house feels meaningless.

Empty.

Quiet.

I got rid of everything except the crate.

I do think I, like, I'm going to get it.

I know I'm going to get another dog.

So.

You should.

Yeah.

Boy or girl?

Boy.

Boy, mama?

Yeah.

Great.

Well, we will never stop talking about do.

We couldn't if we tried.

Here, the fast night story is that you do dado need to, like, everything is coded.

Yeah.

So I'm really looking forward to like talking about anything else.

Okay.

I'm going to admit.

Because we didn't do a show yesterday, which I apologize for.

We hopefully have lots of good stories worth discussing.

I thought like double the stories, double the fun.

No, no.

Still pretty much crap, but it will be a great show.

That's what Dew would want, not to keep bringing him up because we are going to distract.

But it's also Hanukkah.

It is.

Last night was the first night of Hanukkah, which also felt meaningful.

Meaningful and

was a light.

Yeah, definitely.

And he shined bright.

So I thought that was meaningful too.

Not, there's no coincidences.

No, no, there's not.

So happy Hanukkah to everyone who celebrates.

I hope that you had a great first night getting good gifts, giving good gifts.

Happy Hanukkah to you, Turdy.

Thank you.

Happy Hanukkah to you as well.

Hag samayach.

Hag samayach niska jul hayasham.

Publicize the nace, everyone.

Well, now that I live in an apartment that's not a bunker, I can publicize the nace.

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

Okay, so without further ado.

Oh, I just wanted to say one more thing.

Of course.

There were like so many people I wanted to tell, you know, that Theo was no longer with us.

Because Theo kind of had like a big social circle.

He did.

And

so many, just like one thing in particular, like really broke me.

I sent it to you guys.

You know, Theo's dog walking crew is such an integral part of his

day, and he loved it so much.

And he loved Jonathan, who was the actual walker, along with the crew, Butter, Mystery, Olives.

So I'd been keeping him updated because Theo obviously wasn't going on the walks recently.

And I texted him yesterday just letting him know like Theo's no longer with us.

And he was really upset.

And he said it was his pleasure to be.

let me just read it because I don't want to butcher it.

It was so sweet.

Heartbreaking news.

It was my pleasure to be his friend and walker.

And that really made me upset because Theo loved him so much.

Those were definitely the highlights of his day.

Totally.

I hope Butters is okay.

I don't.

No, I'm kidding.

I'm totally kidding.

I'm just like jealous.

Like when I like when I see like I'm in my bitter resentful stage okay that means you're traveling through the grief no like whenever I see someone's dog on the street I just want to go up to the owner and shake them like

don't take his health for granted you'll be glad to know as we speak Bruno is at the vet Oh, good.

Good, good, good.

Cause I also, there were so many people who were so helpful.

And like, I will thank all of them properly, but one of them was Theo's vet his whole life, Dr.

Lisa, who has just been like, of course, checking in, but then also helping us find different specialists and whatever.

And she's going to text you about what sort of screenings, because hopefully this isn't genetic, but if it is, you know, they're all from the same breeder and it might be an issue down the line.

So different cancer screenings.

No, you're not screwed because you have the one thing I didn't have, which was like knowledge and preparation.

Yeah.

And she's going to text you about different things that you and Margo should be doing and screening for.

There's a lot of really good like cancer screenings for dogs.

Okay, well, he's there as we speak.

Good, good.

Take your dogs to the vets.

Yeah.

And the one thing I've learned that I would like to pass on, and and this is what I was saying to Ben: this whole thing started because Theo wasn't jumping up and it appeared like he had some leg pain.

And to me, I was just like, that's so, okay, like, what's the worst case scenario?

His leg is broken.

Okay, we'll put him in a cast.

Like, I thought it was so

innocuous.

Innocuous.

I didn't know that, like, a limp is really the first sign of something bad.

Like, it's more often than not a tumor or a mass or an obstruction of some sort.

Like, I didn't know that.

I thought it was like, oh, his toe is broken.

He's being lazy.

Yes, like I do.

I really didn't know that it was like an initial sign of something bad.

So don't be cavalier, for lack of a better word, about it.

Thank you.

I think a lot of people are like Dew's memory.

He's an educator as well.

Because he was a doctor.

Don't forget.

He was a doctor and he's a public figure and he's leaving behind lessons for everyone else.

Yeah.

Dr.

Theodore Fichemon.

Rip.

Rip Theo.

Rip.

I can't believe I'd be saying that about Theo.

No, I said to you yesterday, like, not to you, but like when his time came, like, rest in peace, my sweet angel.

And, like, I meant every word of

the acronym.

I meant every, but the thing is, I didn't say rip.

No, because you have respect for the dead.

Right.

Like, rest in peace.

It's a lovely saying to say.

That's all you could wish for anyone, to rest in peace.

Yeah.

Why you gotta say rip?

Why you gotta be so rip?

Oh, do we have a story about rip today?

We actually don't, but I just that would have been a yesterday's story, and I'm gonna put it in because.

Yeah, there's like some drama with Rip from Yellowstone and the creator of Yellowstone.

Yellowstone is just falling apart at the seat.

No, the wheels are coming off of Yellowstone, and I'm adding that because I had one story I didn't particularly care about.

So that's great.

So while you do that, why don't I do my thing?

Without further ado, did it do to do about

dodged, we will remain do strong forever.

Don't get it twisted.

Here are the fast five stories that you do

need to know.

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Wow, you're really not feeling like, were you about to sing?

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gomanz has a new man's and she's making it everyone's problem so she appears to confirm that she's dating benny blanco she said he is my absolute everything amongst other things so a selener fan account posted a photo of Selena and Benny Blanco, who was a music producer.

And she said, he is my absolute everything in my heart.

And then she started replying to some fans who I guess were.

Right.

Like the news here for me is not that Selena has a new man.

Good for her.

Who cares?

The behavior in which she behaved last night on social media was so deeply unhinged and unwell.

And then she, of course, after like, you know, setting the whole thing commenting.

She's taking MLA break.

Then she said, I'm getting off Instagram till my next project.

And then what, 25 minutes later, she's resharing like Wizards of Waverly place stuff on her stories and wishing Ashley Benson a Mazletov on her baby.

Like, I don't know what's going on, but somebody has to take her phone away.

Yeah.

So she said, he's absolutely everything in my heart.

Also, the idea that like she's commenting on Celina or fan accounts and with like breaking news.

No, this just isn't the behavior of the world's biggest pop star billionaire queen.

Like, what are you doing?

Yeah.

Then she started replying to people saying, I don't know what their comments were, were, but this their comments, people were like, people are not happy that she's dating him.

He had been quoted like six years ago because he produced the song Lonely with Justin Bieber.

He had like said something in an interview while promoting the song that like, you know, she was a cookie cutter pop queen who just makes makeup or something.

Like he has been, you know, shady in the past.

Okay, so this is, she said to one fan, then why has he been the best thing that's ever happened to me?

The end.

And then to another fan, yeah, and he's still better than anyone I've ever been with.

Facts.

And then to another fan, I don't understand.

If you actually care about me, this is my happiest.

If you don't, feel free to say whatever you want, but I will never allow your words to guide my life ever.

I'm done.

If you can't accept me at my happiest, then don't be in my life at all.

So, I feel like this is really like emblematic of fan culture and how you should always be grateful for your fans or and you know, be thanking them and whatever.

But when you like start to get in the weeds and like

becoming so accessible, I don't know.

I think, I think this is dangerous.

But it doesn't sound like she's talking to like

fans.

I don't know.

People who are commenting on like Selena fan pages, those are Selena fans.

I don't know.

I think they've just like gotten sucked in to like

this Jelena Stan culture.

They don't even know where they...

what they believe anymore.

And if they are Jelena Stans, not Selena stands, then Selena being with someone else goes against their Jelena core tenants.

It goes against their constitution.

Right.

It's just like how they treat Justin when he's with Haley is how they treat Selena when she has a new man.

It's actually really toxic.

She can't move on.

The Jelena stands won't let her move on either.

Yeah, yeah.

It's just like this vicious cycle of Selena Gomez.

Like, remember when she made like the war in Gaza about her?

Like she really has very bad social media practices.

And I think she's one of these people who clearly runs her own social media and probably shouldn't.

No, but she's one of these people who actually doesn't run her own social media, I feel.

But you can tell when she got her phone back.

Oh, oh, that's actually fair.

The things that's posted on her grid are like pretty curated and, you know, not too much.

detail, just a little personal drop, but she's also like the most followed woman on Instagram.

So she's got to give the people something.

Yeah.

And then every few weeks she like steals her phone

until Selena's back.

Yeah, yeah.

What a weird series of events.

A series of unfortunate events.

The comments are just beyond strange.

And it's just not how someone as famous as Selena Gomez should be acting publicly.

Agreed.

Let's talk about the coupling.

Yeah, like whatever.

Do you think like he could be the one?

No.

Like, I don't know.

I don't find Selena's dating life.

Like, I do find Selena's dating life very interesting.

And I just think this is like a fling.

And maybe we wouldn't even be talking about it if it weren't for these insane comments.

Even though she's the happiest she's ever been, he's better than anyone she's ever been with facts.

Well, every time you're with someone new, you should feel that way.

Right.

Otherwise, like, go back to the other person that made you happier.

Right.

Otherwise, it's like it's not worth pursuing.

Yeah.

True.

Facts.

No, I don't think that.

Hopefully they make some music together because he's, you know, obviously one of the greatest producers of our time.

Is he?

Yeah, he's like, he's done everything.

Yeah, his name is so familiar.

I actually thought he was an artist himself.

He might be a singer.

Let's see if he has Spotify.

Actually, no, I don't think that he is.

He's just, he's on every popular song of the last 20 years.

That's great.

Like, he's major.

Yeah, he is major.

No, like, everything is like with, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's always collabing.

You know, he was, I think, he was a main character on that show, Dave.

Because he looks like him?

No, he played himself.

But Dave is.

What's that?

Little Dickie.

He looks like him.

They both just have curly hair, and I believe they're both Jewish.

So he wasn't a stunt double?

No.

He's four feet tall.

Okay.

Well,

congrats to the happy couple.

Stay off Instagram.

Period.

Period.

Are you going to listen for our next no cap?

No, no, sorry.

That wasn't how you use cap.

Sorry.

No, no cap is

no, that was right.

Stay off Instagram, no cap.

Stay off Instagram, bet.

The way that I feel about using cap is like not the right way, because I would want to say, stay off Instagram, cap, like period.

No, no.

I know, I know.

Put a lid on it.

No.

For sure.

But I kind of like that.

I just want to say, like, everybody's making up arbitrary definitions to these words.

Like, they're not really rooted, not like coming from Latin.

So why can't I make my own shit up too?

Fine, cap.

Stay off Instagram.

Cap.

Well, why do you put it like a question mark?

I undermined myself.

You mean when you say cap, like put a lid on it, like done, period.

Yes, thank you.

I kind of like that definition.

Like, like a physical cap.

We're going to put a cap on that.

We're done.

Twist it.

Put it away.

Throw it up, give birth to it, put it in a blender.

And then put a cap on that and put it away.

And we're done.

Cap.

Period.

Our next story is a little more romantic news.

Okay.

Kevin Costner and Jewel have sparked dating rumors with cozy pics after his divorce.

And Luann de Lesseps is crying tears of sadness.

I was going to say something rude, but I'm not going to.

Say it.

No, it's mean.

And it's not what you would think.

Okay, but I just want to say it should have been Luanne.

But I feel like it still could be Luanne.

Yeah, Luann and Jewel are not that different.

No, and

I wouldn't want to be the woman right after the long-term marriage divorce.

Like,

Luann's waiting in the wings.

Yeah, no, this one's clearly a rebound.

And Luann is OTP.

Luann is the final destination.

Agreed.

Also, like, her response when someone asked, like, who was you on the date?

And she said Kevin Costner, like, I feel like he's not what people typically say.

You know, everyone's like, Brad Pitt.

Yeah, yeah.

But, like, he's up.

He's just as great as those guys.

No, and the fact that I know we're joking, but he's like, might be dating Jewel is so age-appropriate.

And he obviously, he could have, and he might have done like an 18-year-old, like, disgusting, like everyone else in Hollywood.

But he's really, I know we talk shit because he's like ruining Yellowstone.

And I think he's probably one of the meanest people on the planet.

Like, if I had to guess.

Yes.

He's a family man.

He's respectable, you know, dating someone of a certain age.

And the bar is so low for men in Hollywood that I have respect for this.

So, Kevin Coster sparked romance rumors with Jewel when TMZ obtained photos of her speaking into a microphone as Kevin wrapped his arms around her waist.

The duo were in the British Virgin Islands for a week last month as part of a tennis fundraiser for Jewel's Inspiring Children Foundation.

There was definitely something going on, a source told the outlet they were flirty, and when they were together, it was like they both just lit up.

Okay, I want to say something crazy controversial.

Like, in my mind, Jewel and Cheryl Crowe are the same person.

Okay, for me, it's,

yeah, it's Jewel, Cheryl Crowe, like,

Leanne Rhymes, Leanne Womack.

Okay, no, so for me, Leanne Rhymes is in her own category because of Brandi Glanville.

Right.

That's the only reason why she, like, breaks through.

And Leanne Womack, like, I don't even know what she looks like physically.

I just know she sings that song from Love is Blind.

So like, I really, like, Jewel and Cheryl Crowe, these like 90s guitar blonde gals, like, they're just the same to me.

I know, but Cheryl Crowe, like, is a little more distinct to me because she's more country.

No, she just has like more pervasive hits.

Yeah, I agree.

What does Jewel sing?

Really good songs.

Let me find them.

Hold on.

Like, I don't know Jewel.

And, you know, we should look at related artists because, like, those are also the people.

Yeah, that I lump in the same group.

And I'm sure for some, like, Jewel Stans, this is absolute blasphemy.

And, like, I respect that.

It's just my experience.

That's my opinion.

Okay.

Um, like, none of her top five songs are resonating.

Okay.

But I do think she was also a little bit like at her peak before our time.

Agreed.

But, like, we know Cheryl Crow songs.

What's like Cheryl's Crow?

I'm

gonna soak up the sun.

And also, what's that one with Kid Rock?

That's like a photograph.

It's like a classic Classic

karaoke song.

Sing it.

Look at this photograph.

Are you kidding me?

No, no.

That's nickelback.

Are you okay?

No, no, no.

Oh, all I want to do is have some fun.

Yeah.

But no, what's the one with

if it makes you happy?

But that's still not the one.

What's the classic karaoke song with Kid Rock and Cheryl Crowe?

I don't know, but then the other Cheryl Crow song is one about God.

Sing it.

Picture.

Picture.

I put your picture in.

I just want to say, me saying photograph when it's actually picture.

Oh, oh, yeah.

I'm not losing my mind.

No, you're not.

And honestly, I think we need to start putting more respect on Cheryl Crowe's name.

I never think about her as like a musical influence of mine, but I think she might be.

Okay, and I have another crazy thing to say about Cheryl Crowe.

What's the song about God?

Like how God is like on the subway?

No, if God.

Something about the bus.

It's like a classic.

God's on the bus.

Yeah, wait.

No, wait.

Hold on.

Don't tell me.

If God were a.

I'm trying to find it.

Cheryl Crow God song.

No, no.

Like, if God were a man.

Yeah, no, and if God were like on the subway with me.

No, on the bus.

If God were on the bus.

It's like a classic, I feel like, song, like a hymn almost that she recorded.

Hold on.

This is infuriating.

Yeah, wait, hold on.

I'm going to find it.

Cheryl Crow, all the hits.

The first cut is the deepest.

Cheryl Crow, God bus song.

Claudiette, I already searched that.

You did?

Yeah.

No, what's this?

What if God was one of us?

Just a strong break.

One of us.

Wow.

Why was that so hard to find?

Okay, but also, I don't know if Cheryl did that song because i looked it up and it's a woman named joan osborne but why do we both think did cheryl crowe sing the song what if god was one of us one of us is a song written by eric brazilian performed by joan osborne not cheryl crow alanis morissette has also been incorrectly been rumored to be the singer of this song but she never recorded it joan osborne did you know who cheryl crow also

is

similar to but you have to just zoom out of the situation who like think of if an an alien came down to Earth and these two women were standing next to each other, like, they would think they were twins.

Who?

Cheryl Crowe and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Oh, physically, yeah, but not career-wise.

No, not career-wise.

But, like, you know, if S.

J.P.

was having a bad day, like, Cheryl Crowe could play Carrie Bradshaw.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is what I'm saying.

Yeah.

So what was the story?

Oh, so Jewel is dating, like, love, love.

Hopefully he'll become so happy with her, he'll want to get back to fucking work.

Yeah, well, if he goes back to work, it might be a toxic work environment because our

story

is that Yellowstone creator Taylor Sheridan has sued Kohlhauser's coffee company.

A legal battle is brewing between the creator of Yellowstone and one of its stars.

So Taylor Sheridan is the showrunner.

Kohlhauser is Rip.

And Taylor Sheridan's boss ranch filed a lawsuit against Rip's coffee company, Free Reign, in the Northern District of Texas on November 21st.

In the court filing obtained by People, it accuses Free Reign of trademark infringement, unfair competition, and false advertising, noting that both companies use branding marks with two overlapping letters.

Letters!

The lawsuit alleges neither Hauser nor the defendants asked to receive permission or authorization of Sheridan or Boss Grant's to use a mark confusingly similar to the BR brand for virtually identical goods.

People reached out to Free Rain for comment Wednesday, but did not receive an immediate response.

So, Taylor Sheridan's company is also coffee?

I guess so.

It's called Boss Granch Craft Coffee.

I want to say I will defend Rip till the day I rip.

However, the logos are extremely similar.

Yeah, that's kind of weird.

I thought at first that the lawsuit was going to be like Kohlhauser is kind of marketing his character of Yellowstone, which was written by Taylor Sheridan.

You know, like that would be a stretch.

This is weird.

And like, no, it's coffee.

It's weird because I feel like it's very easy to make Taylor Sheridan the

villain.

But honestly, I kind of feel him in a legal sense.

Like I might do the same thing.

No, this is weird.

Like the fact that he did a coffee when Taylor Sheridan has a coffee is a little like just unnecessary.

But then the logos like really are similar.

Yeah.

And the branding vibes of both the companies are going to be similar.

Like Yellowstone.

Ranchy.

Wow.

Ranchy.

So same product, same branding.

Honestly, it's good grounds for a legal fight.

It is.

what about the show

does so anybody care about the show anymore no no no i'm sorry the viewers care deeply does anybody working on the show give a rip want to give us a show no and this is just another thing like bringing us even further from a possible reunion and getting back to work but

Rip should be in the next iteration of Yellowstone.

I think it's called like 2024 or whatever.

With Matthew McConaughey, allegedly.

Yeah.

And so any future work between Tyler, I always just want to call her him Tyler, Taylor Sheridan, and Rip seems now even less of a possibility, which is devastating.

So whose side are you on?

I'm always going to be on the side of Rip, but I'm not a judge.

And if I was a judge, I think I'd side with Taylor.

Yeah.

And even if legally this has no merit, if I was Taylor Sheridan, like I would be annoyed on a personal level at this guy who I made famous off of my vibe.

And he then takes my vibe and creates the same product as me.

Yeah.

It's, you know what?

Like, it's not cool.

Yeah.

It's weird.

That's why I feel like there's more to the story.

Like

from like maybe they wanted to start the coffee company together and then Taylor Sheridan kicked Rip out and was like fuck you.

I'm going to do this myself.

And so then Cole, maybe he came up with the original logo and he was like, I'm going to do mine.

It kind of reminds me of like Juliet and Kelsey from Siesta Key both having a bikini line.

But they would have been stronger together even though Juliet's being suit line is doing really well.

Yeah.

But yeah,

better together.

Yeah.

This is so bizarre.

So bizarre.

I just feel like there's more to the story, even though legally it looks like Taylor has a slam dunk on his hands.

Yeah.

There's more to this story.

People don't just like do stuff like this.

You're right.

Like I can't imagine Kohlhauser would go to all this trouble to create this brand.

And it's like a legit brand.

I keep getting emails like from press releases and wanting to send me gifting.

It's like legit.

I can't imagine he would go to all this trouble knowing it was like stolen unless he had, you know, a good reason.

Yeah.

Also, can we talk about the fact that I'm wearing

what do we call them?

Big blue jeans?

What are the big pants?

Yeah, like what do we call it?

Big baggy jeans?

Big baggy pants?

I finally found a pair of jeans that like I kind of like.

These are from Madewell.

But can we talk about something that nobody talks talks about with jeans?

Like the circulation to your vagina being cut off?

Like I'm in pain.

Yeah, I think maybe uncross.

Yeah, definitely uncross, but I'm like a lady.

I sit like a lady, but between my underwear and this like tight crutch, and by the way, don't be like, get a bigger pair.

No, they fit really well.

Yeah.

Don't come for me.

No, super cool jeans.

Today I'm dressed like turdy.

Jackie's wearing my exact outfit.

I told you.

I've been telling everyone.

Stop sleeping on loft.

I got it.

That's a set from loft.

I got a bounty from loft yesterday.

I was wearing a super cute outfit before we

decided not to do the show.

And I was actually thinking about just wearing it today,

but it's like I wanted to save it for vacation.

I feel like if I wear it again, like I'm just ruining it.

So I think I found a solution to our problem of like getting close for our vacation and then wearing them and for me, like staining them before I even get a chance.

Or like washing them, shrinking them, you know.

Yeah, no, like the set that you're wearing, I got like two weeks ago for our trip.

I've worn it five times.

Theo pooped on it.

Like it's literally useless to me now.

So I've every time I get something new that I ordered ordered for our trip, I'm putting it in a different bedroom.

Now it's all folded and it'll be really easy to pack.

That's good idea about it.

But we also do a show every day where you like want to wear something new, cool, and fresh.

So it's like, why am I saving this to go wear on a couch somewhere when I'm on camera?

No, it's so true.

It's just maybe, maybe I'll take it out of the second bedroom.

Yeah.

And then wear it, bring it still.

The set that I wore yesterday, I'm not going to wear it again before vacation.

I'm glad I wore it yesterday, but now it's going straight to vacation.

Yeah.

So maybe like a wear once policy is a little treat.

Love that.

Get it a little stretched out, you know?

Yeah.

So it fits nice.

See how it moves.

You ever get like a hair in your lipstick?

Of course.

We are women, aren't we?

I'm just a girl.

We're real women.

Before we keep going, you mind if I say something?

Of course.

I was hoping that you would.

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Our next story.

Some fun

news.

Probably would have been a yesterday story.

Robert Pattinson, Suki Waterhouse, joined Taylor Swift in a first joint appearance since pregnancy news.

So a lot going on here.

Taylor went out with Robert and Suki.

Suki and Robert went out together.

Suki was bearing the bump.

The three of them had a jolly good time.

And then there's the added element of like, what about Taylor Lautner?

You know, do you think that Taylor Swift was Team Edward or Team Jacob in her heyday?

I think now she's Team Jacob.

I think she was Team Edward because she's a romantic and

And he reads poetry and like that's so Taylor.

Yeah, no, she is Team Edward for sure.

I know I say this every time, but like, I really am so happy for Suki Waterhouse and Robert Pattinson, despite my like insane jealousy.

And honestly, like, if it couldn't be me, and it can't, like, I'm married and unavailable.

So, if it couldn't be me, like, I'm really glad it's her.

I think they're a really good match.

And they've started, they really look alike to me in my mind.

They look like siblings, which I know is the makings of a good couple.

Yeah, no, I'm just looking at some like coupley pics of them.

There aren't many, but when they are together,

they're so cute, and I think they're going to last forever.

I hope they're going to last forever.

They really are so cute.

They don't give us a lot publicly.

I'm gonna say that.

I need to take it back.

Otherwise, because I'm doomed.

So I think it's not gonna last.

They're doomed.

They're no, no, no.

Claudia, they're not gonna last.

Don't worry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I love them together.

They really, publicly, like they give us nothing.

We have very few moments of them.

I think like probably the biggest, most public display of like affection that we have for them is from the most recent Met Gala, where they looked so happy and they were so well dressed.

Like, I think these are two people who are just really in love.

I think so, too.

And I love that.

I love love.

And so, and now they're hanging out with Taylor.

Do you know that they're all friends?

Yes, they went to Arrows Tour, LA, and I was like, no way is Robert fucking Pattinson at the Arrows Tour.

The Aristotle to me is just like the antithesis of everything Robert Pattinson is.

Because he's so like artistic, alternative, like mainstream sucks.

But that's just the vibe that I give.

I'm sure he loves Taylor's music.

And also, it's like he's in such mainstream things.

Twilight, Batman.

It's true, actually.

You're kind of like putting him in the split bags, judging him.

Yeah.

But maybe I really see him as Edward.

Because like Edward wouldn't like Taylor Swift.

You know what I mean?

I feel like Edward would get down.

Oh, also, you know how our favorite

statistic to share is like you had once read they did like a roundup of all the richest fictional characters from books, yes.

In TV, movie, and books.

And

Carlisle was like number one.

He's worth like $45 billion.

I saw TikTok.

They like redid it.

And it's actually unfair because

all of like the most rich fictional TV characters are mostly superheroes.

Like if you take superheroes out, then it's still Carlisle.

Okay.

But superheroes and super villains, there was someone who was worth like way more.

There were two people worth way more than,

but Bruce Wayne, who I think is Batman, Robert Pattinson, was on the list too.

He's worth $9 billion.

Interesting.

Yeah.

That's one of my...

But if you take superheroes out of it, which I don't know why you would, but if you did, Carlisle would be number one.

Carlisle.

Carlisle.

Like, growing up is realizing it's not Team Edward or Team Jacob.

It's Team Carlisle.

It likes Team Carlisle.

One, because he's so wealthy.

Two, he had such a good head on his shoulders.

Yeah, and like he's not that old because he's.

Right.

No, but he's still hot.

And you know what?

This is going to be a spoiler alert for the final Twilight movie.

So if you haven't seen it, go away.

They really knew what they were doing when they like fake killed him off.

Like they knew where it would get the fans.

I remember like where I was, who I was.

Like I remember my stomach dropping.

I was literally in the East Village.

I was an NYU student.

Me and Kristen went.

She had already seen it, I think.

So she like watched me watch that.

I was gutted.

No, like

floored.

And I knew what they were doing with the battle scene.

I was just like, the battle's lost.

Like we, spoiler alert, lost Carlisle.

And then, so for the, the way that it ended to be the way that it ended, like it was the perfect ending.

Like, I needed that so much for it to be Tabula Rasa.

It was really the perfect way to end that whole franchise.

Like, they really left no stone unturned there.

And they knew what they were doing when they chose Carlisle to be the one who faked died.

And then they also knew what they were doing bringing him back.

Bringing him back.

You mean like wiping like the battle never happened?

Right.

yeah.

Yeah, wait, hold on.

I hear music too.

With me down, mazeus hip, make me move.

Is that coming from the street?

Mr.

Sexo Beat.

That person's listening to music really loud.

Oh, yeah, ooh, yeah, yeah, ooh, yeah, yeah, ooh, yeah, yeah.

Like, I could never listen to music that loud in my car because I'm like a person who like cares about other people.

And it's like, I can't think when it's so loud.

Let alone driving kill people.

Yeah.

It needs to be at an even decibel.

I've really been loving.

What the hell is this?

I've been driving a lot, by the way.

I feel like I haven't been telling everyone every time that I drive because it's just like so casual for me at this.

She's so agulate.

I literally like drove into my golf cart yesterday.

But

there was no mark left on either.

So it's like it didn't happen.

But I was being extremely dumb.

Nuts.

No, not nuts.

Because I'm not nuts at all.

I'm not a nuts person.

Yeah.

You're not.

Just dumb.

Like,

does it ever get easier?

It does.

I just have to keep making these dumb mistakes.

But most people I make them at 16.

Yeah.

And I'm just,

but also every time I do make, do something really dumb, it's also kind of a relief.

It's like, oh, okay, I have one dumb thing done.

Like, I feel like I have to get the dumb things out of my system.

You know?

Yeah.

And you never know what they're going to be.

You never know what they're going to be.

Are you okay?

sorry.

I really like wasn't listening.

No, I could tell.

It's becoming anything you do.

It's kind of like happening more and more.

I'm going to give you a past.

I've been dealing with a lot of people.

I'm going to give you a pass today.

I'll bring it up with you on a different day.

Because I was thinking about the.

Were you?

Yeah.

You know, you could like say that any time now, and I have to say that.

But I was.

I was.

You want to share?

No.

Okay.

I'll just.

Cool.

I'll just keep my personal anecdotes to myself for a while.

No, don't, don't, because they're listening.

I just want to.

That's true.

Let me know.

When does it get easier and how many dumb mistakes do I have to make before I can drive with a clear conscience?

It does get easier.

Our fifth and final story, turdy's choice.

Oh my god, my breath just smelled like Theo because my breath kind of smells bad.

I'm like smelling in my nose.

Our fifth and final story was a turdy's choice.

It's a turdy's choice, choice, choice.

It's a turdy's choice.

It's a turdy's choice

At least we got you back to singing.

Yeah.

McDonald's is opening a new chain called Cosmics.

Here are the locations and menu.

McDonald's said it's opening a new chain called Cosmix that will focus on coffee and other drinks, a step that is viewed as a challenge to Starbucks and Duncan, as the fast food giant seeks to boost afternoon sales.

They opened its first Cosmix location in Illinois on Thursday with plans to open additional restaurants in 2024.

What's on Cosmic's menu?

The chain will include new customizable drinks and McDonald's favorites like the Egg McMuffin, the CEO noted.

Let me say I have a lot of thoughts on this, and here's why I wanted to talk about it.

I think this is brilliant.

I actually really like the name and I like the branding.

And people love

Starbucks coffee and breakfast and they're always mad.

It's literally in movies.

Like, I didn't get here before 11.

Oh, sorry.

Sorry, sorry.

McDonald's.

People love their coffees.

They love their breakfast.

And it's like a limited.

People get mad when they can't get it after a certain time.

It's in the movie Big Daddy.

Like it's a part of the culture.

So establishing a whole franchise to it when that is a proven success with like Starbucks and Dungan is brilliant.

Also, Brett a really interesting inflection point with Starbucks, because I don't know if you know this, but like Starbucks is being,

I can never think of this word.

Not protested.

Boycotted.

Boycotted.

Thank you.

Starbucks is being boycotted.

And it's so funny because if you ask like a Jewish person, like what their thoughts politically on Starbucks are, like they love Starbucks, but Starbucks like a million years ago was like, we will never open franchises in Israel.

And that's why the very popular chain Aroma exists because it started in Israel.

It's their Starbucks version.

Now it's all over the states.

I've been to one in Canada.

So like a pro-Israel person would be like, fuck Starbucks.

But pro-Palestine people hate Starbucks because during, in the aftermath of October 7th, a bunch of employees, I think at like one location, like wrote a letter and put up flags or whatever.

And Starbucks was like, This is actually really insensitive after thousands of Jews were just killed in Israel.

Like, not now, please.

It was like the Starbucks union or something.

Yeah, but it's like, so pro-Israel people were mad about the Starbucks union writing this disgraceful letter.

So, pro-Israel people are boycotting Starbucks because their employees harbor these views.

And then the Starbucks corporate kind of like shut down the letter.

So, pro-Palestine people are mad at Starbucks for shutting down letters.

So, like, they've kind of have no, they can only have people

who are not, who don't care about the conflict.

Yeah, like, I'm on TikTok, and people are like,

like showing their, their support for Palestine by drinking a Dunkin'.

Like, so Starbucks is having like a really, they're getting it from all in the middle.

No, for sure.

Zach used to like bring me an egg bite from Starbucks because he likes to go to Starbucks.

And then that letter was circulated.

I'm like, don't bring me Starbucks anymore.

And right, no, everyone has an issue.

And then they

like, you know, they try to distance themselves from the letter, but one, the damage was done.

Two, those egg bites aren't filling.

And three, I don't need the calories.

So it was best for me.

So I think this Cosmics launch is actually an people are literally looking for a new story.

No, but McDonald's is also being protested by Free Palestine.

You're right, because Israeli Starbucks.

Israeli McDonald's was giving free meals to Israelis and maybe IDF.

So in the wake of the war.

Because even in London, like some free Palestine person was freeing Palestine by spray painting a bunch of rats and releasing them into McDonald's.

Into a McDonald's.

So they're protesting McDonald's too.

Damn.

Well, I do think this is a great idea.

That's what I was trying to say.

Okay, I think it's a great idea, too, because I love food.

I love beverages.

I love food and beverages.

I like McDonald's a lot.

And I just want to give some suggestions for things that I would like to see at Cosmics, if I may.

On the menu.

On the menu, because I'm not, you know, a saucy egg and cheese type of girly, but there are two.

One, we need egg bites.

Starbucks has them on lock.

And McDonald's, I think you could do it better.

I really do.

Okay.

Egg bites.

Two, the thing from Duncan that I love, those egg and cheese

breakfast wraps.

I need more breakfast options, low calorie, egg white, you know, egg white muffin egg bites, egg white breakfast wraps, maybe a breakfast taco, breakfast burrito, little.

Love.

These are some things I could get behind.

And of course, make the coffee tasty.

So they released their menu.

Can you share?

Oh, yes.

Also, can we talk about what's going on at Panera?

I don't know what's going on at Panera.

Let's finish this thought first.

Okay.

The chain will include new customizable drinks, as we said.

Also, make sure you get all sugar-free flavors.

You know, sugar-free vanilla, sugar-free hazelnut.

We could go hard with the sugar-free iced coffee.

Yeah, but is McDonald's trying to become like a diet-y place?

McDonald's is not known for.

I'm talking about my needs.

Yeah, no, I know.

But I also feel like dieting girlies, like, they love a customizable, sugar-free beverage.

They do.

So I'm just telling you about like this sect, but there are other needs out there, but it seems like they also will have a churro frap, a s'mores cold brew.

A what cold brew?

S'mores.

Is it sugar-free?

Oh my god.

Who wants a s'mores cold brew?

A 500-calorie drink to start the day?

Not me.

A lot of people.

A lot of people.

Not me.

Okay, a lot of people do.

They'll also sell non-coffee beverages, including a sour cherry energy burst.

Yuck.

Oh, it kind of sounds like they're coming for Sonic, too.

They're coming for everyone.

Even the name Cosmics is kind of Sonic-y.

It is.

Blackberry mint green tea, yum, and a popping pear slush.

So it sounds like they're really coming for everyone.

Claudia, they will also offer sweet and savory treats.

These will include a spicy queso sandwich.

Yum.

A cheese sandwich.

A creamy avocado tomatillo sandwich.

Love.

Pretzel bites.

And

caramel fudge brownies.

They are coming for all you bitches.

So funny because everybody was like, this is them coming for Starbucks, Starbucks, Starbucks.

It sounds more like they're coming for Sonic.

They will also include customizations including popping boba.

Wow.

Flavor syrups.

Just make sure they're sugar-free in there.

Oh, yeah.

And energy and vitamin C shots coming for Erewhon as well.

Wait, I think this is brilliant.

I really do.

I think it's brilliant too.

Please open one in New York or Florida.

And Turdi and I will do a dedicated m'bong to Cosmics.

We will.

We will.

Oh, they did say where they're opening next.

Hold on.

Let me just go back to that.

The branding was so retro.

I actually, I loved like the the way the aesthetic, everything.

It looked really great.

It opened to the public on Thursday, located off Weber Road in Bowling Brook, Illinois.

And then they also have a Texas location as well.

McDonald's plans to open about 10,000 new stores worldwide by 2027.

Also, so these are different like locations, physical locations than McDonald's.

It's not just like the Cosmics menu.

No, no, no, it's like a full different store.

That's really crazy too, because I feel like they could have just beefed up their breakfast at McDonald's.

Yeah, no, this is major.

It's major.

We're getting like a major new fast food chain that has the resources to be everywhere all at once and not have to like build up regionally first.

Exactly.

Now, Panera, I don't know if you saw, they released a new product.

It's like a charged lemonade, like really caffeinated.

Two people have died.

And that's unacceptable.

How much caffeine?

Like a lot.

Like I think it's caused heart failure for some people.

I want to just know like what levels of caffeine.

So Panera caffeine beverage.

Damn rip.

I know.

Panera Caffeine Lemonade cited another wrongful death lawsuit.

What?

390 milligrams of caffeine.

Whoa.

Another Panera page listed it as 235 milligrams of caffeine, 74 grams of sugar.

Damn.

That's why I'm harping on the sugar-free, turdy.

100%.

It's a safety precaution.

Yeah.

Who knew 235 milligrams of caffeine is even even fatal?

It's like, it's a lot of caffeine to drink all at once, but to be fatal,

there's more to the story.

Maybe there was pre-existing emotions.

There's more to the story.

There always is.

It's been a bad week for Panera.

That's our show.

I feel better.

I'm glad.

What are you going to have for lunch on a brighter note?

I've made some plans.

I don't want to go home.

Like, home is really depressing.

And I had literally canceled my entire week.

So I have like no work to do.

So I'm going to go out to lunch.

Are you going to go?

Well, I guess don't tell me because if you're there.

Yeah.

And then I'm going to go shopping.

Okay.

And I'm just going to like, you know, I'm going to spend my day.

Have a girly day.

Yeah.

Maybe I'll get like a manicure or something.

I'm just going to treat myself.

That's beautiful.

So thank you to everyone for listening.

And thank you for just all the lovely messages.

Knowing that Theo touched so many people and he got to meet so many people.

We brought him to Camp Toast.

He was just always walking on the street.

People would always send me pictures being like, I think I saw Theo and Butters.

Like, he was really kind of like a New York socialite.

I think

a lot of people would see him that way.

So, I really appreciate the messages.

I'm going to get to all of them.

Like, I'm not in the mood to read them right now.

It just makes me really sad.

But thank you.

And

yeah, that's our show.

Do da-doo.

More music.

What song is it now?

Is it a message from Dew?

Hotty hop.

Everyone dancing merrily in the new old fashioned.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Just the Monday Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available, podcasts and where podcasts can be found.

So it's Spotify, June, Chitcha, Public View, where I read a catastrophe, Fox, all the please web visits and podcasts myself.

So just to give a fast story, we've been a beautiful standing and weekly down there.

We are.

Have an amazing day.

We'll see you next time.

We'll see you next week.

Have a good weekend.

We love you dearly.

Love you dearly.

Bye.