Hardcore Christmas SMUT: Thursday, November 30th, 2023

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Thursday.

Hope everybody's having a great day thus far.

Hey, Jex, how you dern?

I'm dern good.

Happy Thursday, latter half of the week.

Gargeous tings, gargeous tings.

Oh my God.

Gargeous tings, gargest tings.

I can't go cross-eyed, but if I could,

one of the time.

One of my absolute favorite things on the planet to do is to like go cross-eyed.

I think it's one of my greatest talents.

I've recently started incorporating it into my comedy.

It's pure comedy.

It's pure comedy.

And as a kid, like, I was told a thousand times, you're going to get stuck that way.

So I used to be really afraid to do it.

Then a few years ago, I was like, wait, I'm not going to get stuck that way.

Like, what if I just,

you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love it.

No, I'm, I'm jealous that you have.

And I'm not one of those people who has to like do you know with the finger.

Like, no, I'm always

with the finger.

I'm organic.

Literally part of your comedic routine.

It's like adding a curse word to

a joke.

Like it just gives it a little punch.

It gives an extra oomph.

Yeah.

So that's like another thing.

We should add that to your list because we're always like, what are your talents or what are my talents?

Like, obviously, you have the singing.

I can go cross-eyed.

Natural charisma, comedy.

She can go cross-eyed.

Yeah, no, I

adds a little spice, you know?

Yeah.

How are you?

I'm good, guy just tings, guard just tings.

Guy just tings, guy just tings, guy just tings.

How are you?

how is due how is our holistic king of acupuncture yes theo took a trip east yesterday actually we went south it was downtown um

and it was good he got his first acupuncture session he responded very well to it she was like wow i wish all my patients were like this he was so chill very zen

he is zen he is

zen embodified embodified yeah what's the word embodied or personified you you joined them together conjunction Conjodified.

Conjunction, junction.

What's your function?

He did really well.

She said, you know, it's a journey.

You know, sometimes there are miracles.

You know, he walks out of here perfect, but, you know, most of the time it takes a couple of sessions.

And so we're going to do that once a week, you know, radiation in the beginning of the weeks, acupuncture a few days later, seeing if one of these Eastern or Western remedies are going to, you know, help my boy, hopefully.

It's East versus West, sharks versus jets.

And the thing is, I would love to, you know, have this,

you know, one of them work, and we can definitively say which one it is, and then we can finally put to bed, you know, is it East versus West that really works?

But we won't know which one worked.

We're just hoping one of them.

But perhaps if it does work, Berakashem,

it would be a fusion of East and West.

You know, finally, it's not about the competition.

It's about the coming together.

It would be north.

It would be south.

It would be central.

South, central.

East, west, north.

South, too.

No?

Yeah.

Snoo.

News.

Or snoo.

Really?

S-N-Eaton?

Yeah, Snoo.

Yeah.

Wens.

Just a little compass.

Fun tree today.

Let's talk about the compass app.

Let's talk about the compass in general as an invention.

Compass or compass?

Depends who you are.

It's compass.

It's personal, potato, potato.

Because you just said both in one sentence.

I did.

Yeah, you said compass and then compass.

I guess it just depends on where in the sentence it falls.

Am I feeling like enunciating in this part of the sentence or not?

Like with the word D-A-T-A, I don't have a preferred

pronunciation.

It's just like I could use it twice in the same day and use it totally differently, data or data.

That is how I feel.

It's not a preference.

Compass, compass.

Compass, yeah.

What were you going to say about the compass as an invention?

The compass, greater than.

It is such an incredible invention.

I think it was one of those inventions that really changed the world.

Industrialized.

You know, one large leap for mankind, one small device for man.

True.

It's really a marvel.

I know now we just like look at the app on our phone or our car tells us which way we're facing, but I think we take it for granted.

Yeah, I mean, honestly, like I use directions.

I feel like most people are like, who needs a compass?

North, south, like it's not a big part of there every day, but in the city, actually.

In the city, it is.

It is because there's east side, west side, uptown, downtown, which is north, south, east, and west.

And when I'm in the city, I actually at all times really do know which ways north, which way's south, which ways east, and which way is west, which I feel like kind of cool about.

Yeah.

And if you don't, you get out your compass and then you know exactly where you are.

Yeah, like I love to, you know, be in a taxi and be like, you know, it'll be southeast corner.

Oh, yeah.

I am Lewis and Clark, navigational clean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know.

Like, when I pull those words out, that's like a, like your driver.

You know, you're like a, you're a New Yorker.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, I think somebody, you know, lesser than me would say, oh, the far right corner.

But I would know that that far right corner is actually the southwest corner, depending on where I'm coming from.

Yeah.

And also it's the far right corner from the angle you're coming at it from, but it's the southwest corner universally.

So Lewis and Clark had nothing on Jackson Turd.

Jackson and Turd are the modern day Lewis and Clark.

trailblazing queens.

I would also say Jackson Turd are the modern day Bonnie and Clyde.

I would say so too, but we have a reverence for the Lala Turd.

It's true, it's true.

Except for

iconic duos.

The records from Yale about the three identical strangers.

Once we do steal those so

steal those sealed records from Yale, we will be the modern day version of Bonnie and Clyde.

But we won't be driving away in a convertible.

We will be driving away in a pickup truck.

That'll sell us.

Or a Tesla.

Or whatever we can get our hands on at the rent to center, you know?

Yeah, well, I heard that you can rent a Tesla at Hertz now.

Is that true?

Yeah, if you've been wanting to try out the experience, that's actually like a perfect thing to do when you're on vacation.

Like try a new car.

Let me tell you how one of my favorite things is renting a car.

Like the actual journey of getting off the plane, walking to the rental, waiting in line is torture.

But when you get the keys and you're like, Sometimes they let you choose from a whole section of cars and you just get to try out different cars that you're never going to really have in your own life.

Like, it's very exciting.

Yeah, I feel like most of the times I've done rental cars, obviously I haven't rented a car myself, but you know, with Zach or with you, always.

And wait, Jackie, why haven't you rented a car yourself?

Because I've never had my license at a time when I rented a car.

Yeah, but and also it's just like.

Girls don't rent cars.

That's like a thing for the husbands.

That's like such a husband job to handle.

They rent a car once in a while.

And we flush the keys down the toilet and now the Jaguar is still sitting in Connecticut and you're never going to be able to buy a home with your credit.

Oh man, I totally forgot that

moment.

I don't know how we could talk about car rentals without talking about the extremely hasty blush.

And yes, I do often think about that car sitting in that rest stop in Connecticut.

And I also do

get a pit every time I get like an experient email, like a change in your credit.

You know, usually it's like your credit limit

coming back to you.

Usually it's like little things, like, you know, your credit limit increased or you spent more this month and you didn't pay it down.

Right, right, right.

But one day it's just going to say, there's been a change in your credit, Jaguar.

Yeah.

And if you don't know what we're talking about, it's such a long, amazing story, and there's a whole episode on it.

The episode is called The Extremely Hasty Flush, and you absolutely need to listen to it.

It's a cautionary tale for all drivers out there, rental car owners, and people who go to rest stops.

And if you're not going to listen, here's the lesson.

Do not put your rental car keys in your bra when going to take a piss.

at a rest stop, especially a rest stop that has automatic flushes, okay?

So we'll leave you with with that.

Yeah.

Where were we?

You could rent a hurt.

I mean, you could rent a Tesla.

When we're driving away with the records, because we're the modern day Body and Clyde Lewis.

Compass.

Compass.

We needed to center ourselves, Dirty.

Wait.

I wanted to say a few things from yesterday's episode because a lot of people had very good

responses to like some of the things we had said.

The first thing when we were talking about Mark Cuban, there's a lot of conspiracy theories now about Mark Cuban.

A lot of people think he might be running for office.

Okay.

Good luck with that.

Good luck with that.

Kenzie Elizabeth actually texted me because she's like a Dallas girl and she listens to the toast.

Is it about the pharmaceutical company?

Yes.

So he talks about it on Chart Tank a lot, but his most recent project, I think, is like his biggest passion project where it's like a website to get people medications for like any and all diseases, ailments at like the cheapest possible rate.

And he's like really passionate about it, like, you know, $16 for cancer drugs that would normally cost $2,000.

So it's very expensive.

Apparently he's like very, very invested in it, obviously financially, but also like emotionally.

And maybe he like wanted to cash out to put that money towards this particular project.

But then there was like another conspiracy theory I saw going around on TikTok that, you know, Dallas is like a big sports town, but they don't have any infrastructure yet for sports gambling and casinos.

And I think there's like a bunch of very wealthy people trying to get that initiative off the ground.

And he might have sold to put money towards that because that's going to be like a billion, multi-billion dollar journey.

and interesting also is that the Edelson family like does casinos and resorts so yes they are the sans

right so maybe like their part in this has to do with that too yeah and then I also heard that this Edelson fam had to cash out two billion of their shares from sans to pay for the mavs right so maybe they're just like moving

the the

their business down to Dallas so it was a nice idea that he wanted to, you know, spend time with his family, but I do think there's like a business thing going on.

I don't think he's running for office.

I don't think so either.

I think the pharmaceutical thing makes sense.

I hope he has success with it.

Someone needs to overhaul the pharmaceutical system in this country.

Like it makes no sense.

No, it's a disgrace.

It's a disgrace.

Like these are life-saving medications.

Like every like all medication, it's helping someone.

Like what is, why is it like this?

No, it's an absolute disgrace.

And I agree.

If anyone can do it, I think it could be Mark Cuban.

Yeah, I think so too.

Good luck with that.

Yeah, we truly wish you well.

If you need to take a step back and ruin one of our favorite shows, then for this, it's okay.

But thankfully, it's an ensemble show, and it is my personal belief that the show won't be ruined without Mark.

Me neither.

The show will go on.

The other thing I wanted to talk about, somebody made such an excellent point when we, I didn't know if people were going to agree with us or the sentiment of the weekend being an industry plant was going to resonate with people, but it was just like this feeling that I had, and then you felt it.

And I guess a lot of people felt it too.

And somebody offered a really good explanation for why he feels like an industry plant.

And they basically just said, like, who goes to listen to the weekend?

It's mostly just straight men who don't really participate or contribute to like stand culture.

So they don't have, you know, Twitter accounts tracking all of the weekends, charting and everything.

They don't have fan accounts.

They just listen and move on with their lives.

And, you know, that is powerful.

And obviously there's enough people who do that.

But the reason why we're not seeing that sort of

reception and why it feels like a plant is because they're not putting that energy out there.

They don't participate in like fan culture, straight men.

They just enjoy.

Okay, I agree with you, except about the fact that straight men don't participate in fan culture, the NFL.

Sports.

Yeah, sports.

Nobody is more of a fangirlie than those guys.

Like every weekend, getting dressed up in costume, painting their faces, having a party, like nuts.

Oh, my God.

Okay, there's NFL drama.

Did you hear about this?

It's so crazy.

Yes.

It's the craziest thing.

Okay, let me tell you.

So Deadspin, which is like this

website.

Sports publication.

Sports.

Yeah.

So they published an article about this little kid who was at the Chiefs game last weekend, who was apparently wearing black face.

And because they're the Chiefs, which is like Native American, he was wearing a big Native American headdress.

So they had a picture of the kid from the side.

You saw his whole, he must have been eight years old.

He's nine.

Nine.

Oh, wow, okay.

His whole big headdress, and then his face is completely black.

And so, of course, they like roasted this child to filth.

And it has come out recently, I mean, it has come out since that article came out.

They were using like a photo of the kid where you only saw the side of his face.

And if you saw him head on, he had half red, half black, which are the chief's colors, which is not black face.

And this kid is Native American.

His grandfather was actually like a really major leader in the Chumash tribe.

And

if he wants to wear a Native American headdress, like he absolutely can do that.

I just don't know why in the first place, like Deadsman was going after an eight-year-old.

What is the world come to?

No, it's so sick.

That story is literally an accurate representation of the media.

Like they think they slayed let's you know skewer this eight-year-old he's doing bad and then it's actually not the whole picture literally literally and it's like i'm sure none of the people who worked on that article have any ties to native americans actually give a shit about him wearing the headdress but it's like actually he does no it was such a crazy turn of events i was like following the whole thing on tick tock um

yeah context is key context is key and then speaking of cancellations i'm sure you have it as a story Gary?

No, I don't because I'm like kind of avoiding all Gary things.

Yeah, me too, because we're trying, we're saving the Golden Bachelor for our family trip.

By the way, as predicted, hold on.

I just, I'm pretty sure, I need to correct this.

I'm pretty sure it's pronounced Jerry.

But the reason why we're confused is because we thought it should be J-E-R-R-Y.

No, Jackie, it's Gary.

No, no, no, Claudia.

No, I remember when this happened.

Like we did a reel about the Golden Bachelor and we were like, and it's Jerry.

And then the issue was we spelled it wrong in our reel.

It's supposed to be G-E-R-R-Y.

Oh, so people were saying it's spelled Jerry, not pronounced Gary.

Yeah, but we were confused because it's like, okay, if it's, but if it's with a G, then it's Gary.

Jackie, I just want to say, and I don't want to go looking for clips because you're right.

Like, we'll end up spoiling it for ourselves.

I'm 95% sure it's Gary.

Both spelled and pronounced.

I think it's spelled Gary, pronounced Jerry.

Well, Gary Jerry.

has been canceled.

We literally said like a year ago that he was going to get canceled.

And I like we were joking, but it's so absurd because it actually did happen.

You know, apparently all alleged, you know, his ex-wife, who is dead,

he said he wanted her to lose 10 pounds and she couldn't come to his high school reunion unless she lost the 10 pounds.

And he started, you know, a new relationship one month after she died.

Like, okay, and whose fucking business is that?

And who, how do you know?

And what if he started dating someone a month after that?

How do we know he told his ex-wife to lose 10 pounds?

Because she came back from the dead and told the New York Post.

Like, for real?

For real.

No, I didn't read the article, but I only read the headlines because I don't want to spoil it.

But, like, I can't believe we're trying to cancel this

geriatric, this geriatric.

Literally.

He likes to spelt woman.

No, but like, okay,

you're kidding me, right?

Like, this is the best.

So, like, first of all, I'm going to need proof.

And second of all,

I'm just,

I don't know.

Like, I

it's just

not canceling the oldest man on the planet.

Like, I'm just not.

I'm not canceling the Golden Bachelor.

No, it's.

I can't.

I can't.

It's, it's actually.

Like, there are so many cancel-worthy things happening right now and very few cancellations.

So, Gary.

Doesn't even make my list of 1,000.

No, it's so true.

Like, let the man be fat phobic in peace, okay?

But it also hasn't been proven that he's even fat phobic.

Let the man be allegedly fat phobic in peace.

No, it's so true.

Like, how do we know that these conversations took place when one of the people is dead and the other is Gary?

He's not going to tell me that post.

But I did see a headline.

I didn't click on it, but now that you're mentioning it,

it was an ex-girlfriend that he told to lose.

Oh, and she might be living.

But I didn't, that's my putting too much.

Well, she sounds like a scorned lover.

For sure.

You can't take her seriously.

Okay, the Hollywood Reporter.

The Golden Bachelor's not so golden past.

Hey, let's get into it.

Let's get into it.

By sharp contrast to the young CADs with six-pack abs, previous...

Okay, I don't need like their...

Their editorialization and word count so that you can hit as many advertisers as possible.

Still grieving a widower.

Oh, Gary, pronounced Gary.

Oh, it's like Gary.

G-A-R-Y.

It's pronounced G-A-I-R-Y.

So you're adding a third pronunciation to the mix.

Hollywood Reporter is not me.

Cried real tears during the opening episode when he recounted the story of Tony, his beloved wife of 43 years, who tragically died of an infection just one month after their move to their dream retirement house in Hudson, Indeed.

It was a dramatic backstory, but our bachelor was able to switch gears and interact easily with the attractive and equally senior.

Okay, I don't want to see.

Hold on, let me just find.

Yeah.

You might have to go to a different publication that like doesn't take itself so seriously and just gives you the tea.

So he had told Entertainment Tonight that he hadn't dated in 45 years because he was married for 43.

Oh, I was like, okay, that makes sense.

Despite the vetting, the Hollywood Reporter has discovered several inconsistencies

regarding both his work history.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.

I saw this on TikTok.

They're literally dragging him like for his LinkedIn, okay?

Regarding both his work history.

Yeah, we did that yesterday to the puppet.

Shut up.

They have found inconsistencies regarding both his work history and recent romantic entanglements that contradict the received narrative.

Whether they never learned about these discrepancies, ABC, or ignored them to sell a buffed up, shinier storyline for the greater impact, producers presented an incomplete and misleading image of Turner, which The Bachelor helped perpetuate in personal remarks.

But it was just a buffed up story to

make him like, I think they called him a restaurateur.

To accentuate his impact.

No, that's what they said.

Listen, it's it's show business, baby.

A buffed up story to accentuate his impact.

I can live with

He's identified in Chirons throughout the show as a retired restaurateur, which is a fancy way to say he owns or owned a restaurant with all of its attendant fun and glamour.

But according to his profile on LinkedIn, Gary last owned a restaurant in 1985 when he sold his Mr.

Quick Hamburger drive-in franchise in Iowa, where he worked his way up from high school.

Well, that's impressive.

Right.

After that, he held various sales and management positions in the meat business, again, per his LinkedIn resume, which does not list an end date for his employment.

This does not match up with the idea that was pushed on the show that he retired at the young age of 55, which would have been 2006.

Never mentioned are his years of pickup post-retirement work, like installing hot tubs at Gannon Pools near Davenport, Iowa.

He then worked as a maintenance man.

This is so

elitist.

And he's canceled because he didn't disclose he was installing hot tubs.

He then worked as a maintenance man at the Vera French Mental Health Center, also in the Davenport area, as verified by his colleagues who spoke highly of him.

Hardworking

entitled.

Yeah, of course.

First of all, he worked at a burger joint in high school.

Years later, he worked his way up to being the owner of that franchise, sold it, and then didn't rest on his laurels and got more jobs.

No job too big or too small for him.

This is a dream man.

Yeah, so I guess

the Hollywood reporter is upset that like maybe the bachelor just kind of condensed the story.

He owned restaurants, he sold and retired.

But okay, where's the crime?

So then he came to know a woman, they're calling her Carolyn, with whom he would go on to have a nearly three-year relationship with, beginning innocently enough, a month after his wife's death.

Attractive and 14 years his junior, she was a staff accountant at the mental health center.

They dated for 10 months and then lived together for a year and nine months.

This account is drawn from interviews with Carolyn, who requested not to be named to protect her privacy, as well as friends she confided in at the time and text messages with Gary, among other documents.

So wait,

they dated for 10 months?

After

they dated for 10 months and they lived together for a year.

And nine months.

So almost two years.

They were only dating for 10 of those months.

No, no, no.

The total, they were together for three years.

10 months

dating.

Not living together.

A year and nine months living together.

So three years almost.

Okay, but not three years because they met, they knew each other for three years, but like that's intentionally misleading because they met a month after his wife died, but they didn't start dating until a few months later if you count all those months up.

Okay, so they were in some sort of entanglement for nearly three years.

Nearly three years, but not starting a month after the wife died.

No, they met.

Oh, actually, it says beginning innocently enough a month after his dating.

I met you at work and I know you.

The fact that he started dating is not unexpected.

He was single and a widower, after all, not cheating.

But his amorous activity certainly didn't align with how he regularly yanked viewers' heartstrings with on-air announcement about his lack of a love life since his wife died.

He later touchingly admitted to one pre-show kiss on the Bachelor Happy Hour podcast.

Okay, so they're coming for him because he was with this girl for three years, but he said on the show, like, he hasn't known true love.

It seems like it was just a situation ship and she's getting caught up.

Yeah, no, like she thought it was more than it was.

So this relationship with Carolyn is not the only relationship the Golden Bachelor and Jerry produced to, producers fail to mention.

This fall, a reporter from the U.S.

Sun reached out to Heather, a waitress at the Shady Nook, a bar and restaurant located on the lake in Hudson, Indiana, next door to Gary's new lake house, so close that he'd essentially made it his bachelor clubhouse.

Why did the Sun reach out to Heather?

Right.

Heather, who no longer works there, considered Gary her friend.

She told the reporter that in the past six years, he dated a couple of women.

They weren't all long-term, but they weren't short-term either.

He was with a couple of women for a decent amount of time, but it just didn't work out.

Well, what's a decent amount of time?

Three years.

Okay, so let's say he dated a couple.

So the fact that they didn't include it on the show makes all these people like liars.

It's TV.

No, but these articles are intentionally vague.

Not for a long time, not for a short time.

Everybody has a different idea of what a decent amount of time for a relationship is.

Like, also, he said he hasn't had love since his wife passed.

So, okay, he didn't love these women.

Sorry, girls.

No, and a lot of people at that age just date for companionship.

This is so sick.

Wait, Carolyn, the first girl for three years, didn't want the years of her life as the Golden Bachelor's girlfriend to become a national news fodder.

But neither did she want to be the invisible woman whispered about in Davenport as the gullible gal Gary dumped, duped, and then dumped.

So Susan McCreary, who's a close friend of Carol.

It's giving Karen McCluskey is what it's giving.

I just can't believe this happened to my girlfriend, she said.

When Caroline and Gary first started dating in September 2017, my husband and I took them to an Iowa Hawkeyes football game.

I thought, this guy's legit.

This guy's a really good guy for her.

McCreary recalled watching the show and hearing Gary say that line about not having been having been kissed for six years.

And I'm like, what?

He's got to know that people are paying attention to the show.

I'm just flabbergasted.

At first, Carolyn tried to laugh it off, but then The Golden Bachelor became a ratings bonanza.

The show was suddenly the talk of pop culture, considered a breakthrough for its positive portrayal of sexually active seniors.

And it bothered Carolyn that her ex was foisting lines and moving on to the bachelorettes that he had used to seduce her.

I just want to say she was surprised that the show was a success.

It's The Bachelor.

So he had texted Carolyn on September 2nd, 2017, less than three months.

Now they're saying three months after Tony's death, his wife.

He says, damn, I go to bed at night thinking of you and wake up in the morning thinking of you.

That's so sweet.

That's literally so sweet.

So because he sent that text, he's not allowed to break up with her?

No, it's insane.

I guess the one lie I'm really detecting is he said he hadn't been kissed in six years and there were kisses that happened.

Okay, has anybody watched the show Unreal?

Do you know how much bachelor producers manipulate everything?

There's other women in here.

I'm not in the mood to read this entire article.

You would think that just honestly grown women would not be acting this way.

Like, I expect it when, like,

Jed's ex-girl or like girlfriend is actually his girlfriend and she comes forward.

I was his girlfriend.

He's on the show.

But, like, Karen McCluskey's in her 50s.

And, like, you really want to drag Gary now, the man's like, just trying to find love and set like a nice, uh, realistic expectation for seniors in love.

No, it's so absurdly stupid.

I can't get over it.

That's and honestly, the Hollywood reporters should be ashamed of themselves everyone should be ashamed and it's like they dug this deep and this was the worst that they came up with gary's probably an amazing guy i agree i hope gary just lets this roll off his back i don't know the it's it's hard actually but he's older new he's old hopefully he's wise and he knows it doesn't matter and he can ignore the noise insane we stand with you gary yeah that's crazy is it really like actually canceling him or it's just like they're trying to i don't think anybody cares Like it's hard to cancel someone who's 60 and like probably just made an Instagram and a Twitter.

He's like, okay, so I'll leave.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

I'll just not post.

Yeah.

And as stated, he has plenty of jobs and skills and he doesn't need the internet.

No, that like work thing really bothered me.

Yeah.

Like it was very judgmental and elitist.

Like he installed hot tubs and

what?

And what about it?

No, I guess the point, just to be, you know, devil's advocates, like he said he retired at 55, but he's still working.

These people are disgusting.

Like, seriously, we're clowning on someone for, you know, living the American dream.

No one's jealous.

And it's like, why are you digging it on Gary?

Why?

Yeah.

What did he do to you?

It's bad faith.

Bad faith actors, 1,000%.

Being badly faithful to their bad faith.

And acting while doing it.

In a nefarious manner.

So dumb.

So dumb.

Well, I'm glad that we parsed through that and I I can go into the holiday watching Golden Bachelor, feeling proud of my support for Gary and his hot tub

and

traits.

His hot tub dreams.

His hot tub dreams.

And I'm sure there's going to be some hot tubs on the show.

And I just have to say, like, leave Gary alone.

Leave Gary alone.

This is why we can't have nice things.

Seriously.

So true.

The Bachelor tried to do something nice and pure and they distilled his story down to something, you know, just so

palatable.

Fairy tale.

We don't have all the time in the world on television.

No, that's the point of the bachelor.

It's like everyone who's a lead is a loser, and they try and make them look cool and successful.

Like, that's the whole premise of the show.

Literally.

Like, they have to make it so that, like, he's desirable for 25 women.

Right.

It's a show.

Like, get a grip.

It's show business, baby.

Should we dive in?

If you can't handle it, don't watch.

Yes, I think we shall dive in because that was like a sixth man story.

Yeah.

Without further ado, did it do to do, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Our first story, and that will surprise no one, Courtney Kardashian ingests her juicy placenta after her son Rocky's birth.

So

Courtney posted on her Instagram, her mommy-made encapsulation placenta pills, which she showed was her juicy placenta.

And she talked about a lot of the benefits of eating your placenta.

And I would like to discuss with my sister-in-law, Turd, our thoughts on this.

So So here are some of the benefits she said that people report: higher energy levels, lesser chance of baby blues, lesser chance of postpartum depression, balanced mood and hormones, increased milk supply, tempting.

Oh.

Enhanced bonding experience with baby, higher iron levels, reduced postnatal bleeding, uterus returning back to pre-pregnancy size faster, losing the baby weight faster.

tempting and overall faster and better recovery from having the baby.

So it was not an ad.

She just wanted to share.

I mean, if anybody on the the planet is going to eat their placenta, like it is going to be Courtney Kardashian.

So this is, it would be more surprising if she wasn't doing this because a lot of people, even like non-super crunchy people do it.

And I just want to get your thoughts.

Like, do you think that you would be eating your placenta?

Honestly, I'm not entirely against it.

Like I have known that people do this for a while.

And when I first heard it, I knew that people did it primarily to combat postpartum depression.

So like anything you can do, sure.

But I have also heard it, and I'm sure Courtney got like the best of the best, but a lot of these companies companies that did you do a capsule?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like a lot of the times that process strips your placenta of all its nutrients by the time you get it in that capsule.

Interesting.

I've also read on the contrary side that like the function of the placenta is kind of to like filter out like toxic things in your body, like so that they don't make its way to the baby because it's like the conduit between you and your baby.

So it's kind of like all the things that your baby didn't get for a reason.

Oh, that's interesting for sure.

Like if there, if there was like a definitive answer, like, yes, it's good for you, bad, it's not for you, like, I would do it.

Yeah, you wouldn't be icked out.

No, I'm not going to sit down with a fork and a knife and start cutting it like that.

I feel like if you want to eat your placenta, like you actually have to take a bite out of it.

Like these pills.

So I know people do it in like a shake where like they'll literally put chunks of placenta with like chunks.

Ice.

No, no, no.

Like more raw.

Okay, because I feel like if you're going to do it, you got to go raw.

Yeah.

I want a fork and knife.

It's literally that scene in Game of Thrones where Daenerys eats that heart.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And this reminds me of the episode of the Kardashians where they pranked everyone into thinking that they ate a placenta.

Yeah, I'm actually surprised that Courtney pills hers and doesn't just like go straight from the source.

Raw.

Right.

But I have to imagine, like, she's so health girly.

She probably did extensive research.

Yeah, I think also the thing with this, it's like it could have all these benefits if it does what you think it's going to do.

Or worst case scenario, like it doesn't do much, but it might make you feel better.

Man, it's like a placebo placenta.

Like really, what's the problem?

Yeah, it's a placebo for sure.

Unless it's like a place.

Well, the downside is the thing that you just said.

Right, but that's not proven either.

Like, there's not too much actual information.

It's, you know, what Courtney said is some of the benefits people report.

That's not like proven benefits.

Just like how I feel.

I'm not against it.

Like, it obviously sounds crazy and gross, but like it kind of makes sense.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I wonder if they ate their placentas back in the day.

Like, when did this start?

And where do we get the idea?

I guess other animals, I think we're the only mammals that don't eat their placentas naturally.

Oh.

So we're just like copying like our

mammal friends.

Mammals.

The mammals, if it's good enough for the mammals, it's good enough for me.

Right?

I mean, we're all one in the same.

Yeah, I'm not entirely against this.

And I think a lot of people like probably would assume that I would be and like drag people because it's like gross.

But no, whatever the mamas need to do to be okay, like I don't care.

Yeah, placentophagia, that's, I guess what it's called, is a behavior present in almost all female terrestrial eutherian mammals, more than 4,000 species, consisting of the ingestion of the placenta.

Hmm.

The more you know, but then three articles down, no, you shouldn't eat your placenta.

Here's why.

Well,

i don't know these are the same people who are writing about gary from indiana so i don't know who to trust anymore i don't know i

i don't know

is eating the placenta beneficial to date there's no evidence from human studies to support these claims you could say that about anything i know it's just it's a personal preference it's a personal preference kim ate her placenta too

Oh, I wouldn't see that for her.

Right.

Hmm.

The placenta is just kind of this,

she just transcends everything.

Yeah, it does.

And it's, you know, more personal than comedy, more personal than food.

Did you have to push out your placenta or it was just like

it came out?

Well, no, no, no.

You have to, the doctor has to take it out and either they press down on your belly.

I wasn't paying attention.

It's nothing compared to giving.

Compared.

Like, yeah, they can really like press it out or maybe you give like one more push, but nothing of note.

Interesting.

And then it's gone.

It's big.

Really?

Like the size of the baby?

Yeah.

Maybe like in width, yeah.

It's like a nice big

what?

Like piece of meat?

Honestly, like when we did the brisket.

When we cooked the brisket.

That looks like.

Why'd you have to ruin the brisket for random?

That looks like a placenta.

Wow.

And then what do they do with it if you don't?

They send it for testing.

Oh.

I'm pretty sure.

I wonder if they do that.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure they do that for everyone.

They send it for testing.

But if you want to eat it, you have to wait for the testing.

I think you can fill out a form to get it back.

I don't know.

There's a way to get it.

It's costing a lot of paperwork, honestly.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, and then you have to get it to the place.

And it's like, is it on ice the whole time?

Right, that's what I was saying about the capsules.

Like, by the time you actually get it into powder capsules, what's the point?

What happens to your placenta?

Actually, this conversation is making me like a little nauseous.

Really?

Yeah.

It's beautiful.

No, like

you can discard it, in which case your hospital or birthing center will take care of it.

So that's kind of sad.

You could take your placenta home.

And in some places, people bury their placenta.

It's so fascinating.

Beyond.

The placenta is more personal than comedy, more personal than food.

That's true.

That's true.

So

glad Courtney's eating hers.

Me too.

I'll make you placenta pills as your push present.

Thanks.

I'd prefer like a diamond necklace, but go off.

A placenta necklace.

Ew.

Our next story.

Kristen Cavalier reveals the hottest guy she's ever hooked up with.

Do you want to take a guess before I share with you?

Jay Cutler.

No, that would be so nice if she said that.

Tyler Cameron.

I love that.

You gotta have him get hooked up.

Oh.

Yeah.

She said, Tyler Cameron, and believe it or not, you guys, I know this is really freaking hard to believe.

He's hotter in person.

She said, it's insane.

So, yeah.

What do people mean these days when they say hookup?

So they mean fuck.

Okay, I don't think so.

They're kind of, they never had a relationship.

He was in her campaign for un She used him and paid him for publicity.

Right, but they did like kiss in the ad.

So

maybe that was the hookup.

But then also, like, there was like a video of them like dancing sexily at a party.

So I don't know if they like hooked up offline, but she has maintained that they never like had had any sort of relationship.

Yeah, no, that was clear.

No, like Tyler Cameron is the hottest man alive, and he's literally could not be a nicer person and is so lovely and it makes him hotter.

Yeah, he should be people's sexiest man alive because like that's really what he is.

He's actually

by definition.

Sexy.

Yeah, that's actually an amazing point.

He really should be people's magazine.

What?

No, nothing.

Oh, actually, this just reminded me.

I went out to dinner last night and there was a man in the restaurant who was so beautiful.

Like, it was

shocking.

My age, like, nothing, like, maybe a little bit of a drink.

How would you feel if your father was seating someone your age?

And he was wearing this just like, you know, beige cashmere sweater.

He was just so well dressed, well-quaffed.

He had this like beautiful blonde hair.

And like, honestly, like, everyone in the restaurant was looking at him.

He was, he was otherworldly.

Like, he was so beautiful.

Where did you go to dinner?

I, when I decided I wanted to share this story on the toast as I walked to work this morning, I knew you were going to ask me that.

And I think I should not say because like his sister's probably a toaster.

Like, I don't need that sort of.

Oh, the man.

But I didn't know you went to dinner last night.

Yeah.

We literally spoke on the phone.

And I said I just got back from dinner.

I didn't hear that.

Who did you go to dinner with?

My friends from college.

Your friends from college?

Aren't those your friends from high school?

Well, something shady about this dinner, Law.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I actually don't know how to describe them because I went with Abe, who's my best friend from like high school.

But then also Margo Fish, who's my friend from college, but me, Abe, and Margo became like a threesome in college.

So I think describing them as my friends from college is accurate.

Okay, technically, but then also Margo Fish became a part of your high school group of friends.

Like

when you get together with your high school friends, she's there.

She's there, but I know Margot from college.

That was so crazy.

Yeah.

Oh, there's another conspiracy kind of going around in the toast dumb.

I don't know if you've seen it.

What do I do now?

I don't know if you've seen it because it has to do with me.

But you cut me off the other day when I was about to say a story of something that happened in college.

I like,

I started to say it twice and I got cut off both times and then I just like gave up.

And what was the story who wants to know the story?

Okay.

You said a conspiracy theory about me.

No,

no, I said about me.

Oh, okay.

I said about the toes.

There's like

people like we're petitioning to hear the story.

It's like not a great.

Is this when you fell off your bike?

No, no, no.

We were talking about brainy quotes.

You falling off your bike is the best story when you fall.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Claudia doesn't want me to hear my brainy quotes college story.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, go ahead.

But it's not even that great of a story, which is kind of why I gave up trying to say it.

Like, it's really not that great.

But I feel like any story that starts with like in college one time, you think is going to be really great.

But I'll just, I'll let you know.

so there was um someone who wrote uh his paper and i don't know where he left it somewhere and you know how sometimes you would start a paper with a quote

it's like the laziest move ever yeah it's like a really profound way to start a paper like a quote that kind of encapsulates what you're about to talk about gets the reader inspired albert einstein once said yeah no or it's just like

speak strong and carry a big stick.

And then you get into, you know, policy.

Anyway, so we found someone's paper and the top of the paper had a quote and he had his citation and when he went to the citation at the bottom, it was brainyquotes.com.

That's a story.

That's a story.

It was just an anecdote about brainy quotes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And like, is Brainyquote a legitimate source you can cite?

Well, that's just like not where the quote originated from.

Right, right.

And do you have to

source a quote?

Let me just tell you, like, bibliography culture.

You do have to source a quote.

Otherwise, you could just be making up quotes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was never into bibliographies.

No.

I'm into sourcing, but I'm not into bibliography format.

No, yeah, I just wanted my bibliography to write, like, trust me, you know?

Yeah, no, like, I just want to be able to, like, bullet points, like, here's where I was looking at, you know, go find it for yourself.

Right.

Not like MLS,

the quotations.

MLS, Chicago.

The quotations, the commas, the underlines.

So true.

It's sickening.

Why did we need to learn that?

I don't know, but now it's like, I kind of wish people were learning bibliographies instead of the poison they are learning, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let's go back to the MLS.

Let's go back to MLM, okay?

Things were so simple when we were all just selling leggings.

Let's go back to MLM.

Take me back.

Some people are still there.

Yeah, good for them.

Some people.

I love, I love the girlies on TikTok, like who cannot be deterred.

Like MLMs could not have a worse reputation.

Like, I feel like these days, like, if you join an MLM, there's enough information for you out there for like you to be turned off to it.

And so, if you're so resolute in your desire to sell makeup or whatever, like, I have such respect for people just like doing the opposite of what everyone's telling them to do.

Agreed.

But then, how do you feel about those people when it doesn't work out?

Like, being like, I'm a victim.

I'm a victim.

Yeah, I don't know.

I haven't thought through my whole, I don't have like a fully thought out thesis.

Like on this MLM.

If you open eyes, enter into an MLM,

what happens next, for better or for worse, you are responsible for.

Right, no, but that's also like now.

If you were to literally just like walk by Scientology and

go in, how do you not know?

Right.

Right.

You're grown adults.

Take responsibility for the choices that you make, especially when there's ample information out there.

That's all we can do as grown adults.

I 100%.

Our next story: Christmas is heating up.

By the way, I watched a Christmas tree lighting last night.

Kelly hosted a two-hour live special where she sang like five topics.

Finally, she's getting to work at being our America sweetheart.

It was incredible.

It was so well done.

First of all, David Foster and Catherine McPhee saying, everybody's just saying, Claire, they're kind of the new faces of Christmas.

Don't at me.

They were, she was spectacular.

She is.

Kiki Palmer, Kiki Palmer sang,

what did she sing?

Like, they all sound the same.

Jingle Bells, something like that.

No, Catherine McFee did jingle bells.

And I don't remember what.

Maybe I'll be home for Christmas.

She was impeccable.

Liz Gillies and Seth McFarlane did a duet.

Adorable.

I love Christmas.

The night ended with a duet of share and darlene love.

It was

breathtaking.

Like it really was.

And then Kelly, of course, did a few of her originals.

And then they lit the tree.

It was stunning.

Beautiful.

You would never know.

You didn't see on TV like all the chaos that ensued at the tree lab.

No, no, no, that there are like people, yeah, animals came and like Hamas perfectly.

Tried to fuck shit up.

Yeah.

I mean, they did, but I guess it didn't make it to TV.

No, it didn't make it to TV.

And then after that was Christmas at Graceland hosted by Lainey Wilson, where they had Lana Del Rey, Casey Musgraves, Lainey Wilson, a bunch of people performing.

I fell asleep, but I do wish I recorded it.

It was really beautiful.

And they literally set up like little stages inside of Graceline.

I'm sure it'll be on Hulu or whichever streamer is affiliated with the network.

Peacock.

It was like a gorgeous night of programming at NBC.

They crushed it.

Wow, that's great.

Yeah.

Santa, can't you hear me?

Well, now is some Christmas programming.

Not NBC.

Lifetime has its first ever Christmas movie with a sex scene.

Oh, my God.

And guess who's starring in it?

Gretchen Wieners.

No, but I feel like you could guess.

I don't think you will, but if you want, if we sat here long enough, I feel like you could.

Okay, give me like three clips.

Okay.

She is an actress.

I would hope so.

She's an influencer.

She's a podcaster.

Becca Tobin?

No, but that's a great guess.

She's a podcaster, influencer, and actress?

Yeah, actress first.

Okay.

And then, but now I would say.

Oh,

I know.

Jana Kramer.

Jana Kramer stars in Lifetime's first Christmas movie with a sex scene.

More like Triple X-Miss, Jana Kramer's upcoming lifetime movie, A Cowboy Christmas Romance, is the network's first movie with a sex scene.

So she was actually pregnant while filming the movie.

Oh, wow.

And she said it's on her podcast.

She said it's the first lifetime Christmas movie that has a sex scene.

When I read it, I was like, well, this is going to be interesting.

I'm like, how are we going to do this with a baby?

The movie portrays Lexi Crenshaw, a real estate closer who returns to her hometown of Tubac, Arizona to try to convince Kobe Mason, a horse-whipping rancher, to give up

to give up his family's land while also reconsidering returning home to her roots.

About the steamy scene, she said, we're on this, spoiler alert, he lays me down on some hay and then we

and then we, you know, and then, you know, obviously it's still lifetime, it's still family, but it was pushing limits there, too.

I do feel like lifetime got so surpassed by Hallmark in the Christmas category that this is an attempt to, you know, just do

the most.

Yeah.

But the thing is

with these types of films.

The whole point of them and why they're so different and weird and why people are drawn to them is because they're like so conservative that like the formula is so bizarre, but it weirdly works.

It's just like these almost like these like dumb made-for-TV movies that have so much heart and they like don't make a lot of sense, but they're really well done.

And I think this might complicate that formula.

Well, I think Lifetime does need to find a way to differentiate himself because there is Lifetime Christmas movies, there's Hallmark, there's Netflix, like Hulu, everyone's making Christmas movies.

They're all following the Hallmark template, but I commend Lifetime for literally stepping their pussy up and saying.

They did step their literal pussy up.

We're going to do Christmas different.

Like, if you want a little smut with your Christmas jolly good fun, come over to Lifetime.

I think that they're offering something new and different, and that might resonate with viewers.

No, but it's still on cable.

So like they're really, they're not going to be doing like Game of Thrones, but it's going to be soft.

Right.

Maybe if they did do like a hardcore smut Christmas on maybe on their app or something, that would be powerful.

That's the title.

A hardcore smut Christmas.

No, the title of my Christmas Smut

movie would be

got it.

Christmas is coming.

That's good.

Christmas is coming, and so am I.

I was singing Jingle Balls.

Oh, love that too.

But mine's a little more subtle.

This isn't a title.

We could work through it.

Workshop.

Yeah, something about like

a ho, ho, ho, Christmas.

So I was thinking, like, what I was going to say, if you read it, it doesn't sound bad.

It was more like my intonation, like, Holly Jolly Christmas.

You know, if you say it like that, everything is good.

Yeah, right.

Santa Claus is coming to town.

Right.

Or like,

deck the hall.

I don't know.

Dick the balls.

Deck the balls.

This is a genre that's rife for exploration.

It's so true.

And I think

Jana's the woman to do it.

Lifetime students.

I mean, Jana was in,

Jana's like a God-fearing woman, like,

but she was in entourage, and she was a very promiscuous college student.

Yeah.

No, I think this is a really good

first step for Lifetime.

I think they're the right network.

I think they got the right girl.

This story looks like a beautiful love story

about a horse whipping rancher.

I know I've told the story a thousand times, but I can't talk about Lifetime Christmas movies without talking about the one I saw with Mae and Bialik.

No, you literally can't.

What was that?

I was on tour and there was like one channel on the TV, so I watched this Lifetime Christmas movie.

It was a Hanukkah Hanukkah.

It was a Hanukkah movie.

And that's why you don't like when they do Hanukkah movies.

And I just don't like when they do Hanukkah movies, period.

Like

we don't, not everything has to be like for, like, it's about the forever movies.

No, it's so true.

Like the Hanukkah movie movie was so bad.

It was bad.

It's always bad.

And like representation is nice, but like.

The non-Jews can have Christmas.

It's okay with that.

Yeah, they can have their holiday movies.

Like, that's fine.

Yeah.

It's fine.

Yeah.

That's your myimbialic story.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm so glad I was able to bring that up today.

Thanks for choosing that story.

It's been bursting all year long.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

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Our next story.

Elon Musk tells advertisers who left X, quote, go fuck yourself.

Elon Musk, the CEO of Tesla and SpaceX and the owner of X, formerly Twitter, says that the current advertiser boycott could kill the company.

So he was interviewed by Andrew Ross Sorkin on Wednesday afternoon at the New York Times Deal Book Summit, and he is making headlines, waves, memes.

The clip was everywhere.

The clip was everywhere.

So the interviewer asked him, like, what about advertisers leaving the platform?

And why are advertisers leaving the platform?

Advertisers are leaving the platform because of that thing that he tweeted like a week or two ago about the, he responded to a tweet about Jewish communities, which I want to talk about that initial tweet.

People are saying that like it was anti-Semitic, what he said.

Something calling out like Jewish communities and how they've kind of all bought into like these progressive ideas that that are now being wielded against them.

And Elon responded, this is the actual truth.

Now, the tweet itself was clumsy because it made it seem like all Jews, all Jews are progressive and into that stuff.

And also that like all progressives are Jews, which is just not true.

And Elon had since clarified, like, that's not what he meant.

And so, but Elon also just got back from a trip from Israel.

Like, I

was like, I was hard pressed to call someone anti-Semitic because of a tweet when they literally just got back from Israel and visited the kibbutz and visited with families.

Like, I'm sorry, that is, that's more important and more indicative of anything.

Right.

And the interviewer had started the question.

I think he was trying to say, like, was that press work kind of like just to make up for that tweet, like to smooth it over?

Like, does this person know Elon?

Has he ever like done anything to appease anyone when he says something that he believes?

He like immediately clarified that he was talking about specific Jewish groups like the ADL, which by the way, like, it's true.

And it's like kind of a reckoning going going on in the Jewish community right now of like how the progressive cause has completely left us out.

And a lot of progressive Jews are like, what the fuck?

What the fuck?

What about us?

I know.

And

they don't know where to turn.

It's been like a, it's been a lot of Jews who are extremely progressive and identify, so much of their identity is rooted in that progressivism are having like identity crises now.

And they really don't know where to turn because, you know, when you've devoted so much of your identity to standing up for what you believe and then nobody stands up for you, you're like, well, what the fuck?

How do we get here?

How do we get out?

Right.

Also, speaking of your girl, Mayan Bialik did a video talking about this.

Did you see her video?

It was a few weeks ago.

Okay, what'd she say?

How she's just like left heartbroken by all of like her, like she thought that she was a part of this movement and she was marching with this group and that group and this group and that group and like she's been completely left out of it.

Left out.

And she's kind of, you know, coming to that realization.

You should watch that video to understand like what's kind of going on.

I think a lot of people

have seen that video.

Anyway, so that's just kind of what Elon was saying when people like were like, this is anti-Semitic.

He's like, I'm talking about like specific Jewish groups, not the entire Jewish community.

And then so advertiser, and then also it was kind of like a media matters, it's a campaign against him to slander him as an anti-Semite and

take him out.

for that.

But like, he's not an anti-Semite.

I don't believe him to be an anti-Semite.

I really don't.

Not at all.

He then went to Israel.

I don't think it was to appease anyone because as it's clear, he doesn't do that.

He literally told advertisers to go fuck themselves.

What he said was...

No, he doesn't do that, but also like taking a 13-hour trip to a war zone is not something you do to appease people.

You do it because you think it's the right thing to do.

Right.

No, if you want to appease people, you make a donation, you make a statement, or an apology, right?

You educate yourself and listen and learn.

But he went to Israel.

He met with hostage families.

He met with victim families.

Like he's wearing a dog tag with victim's name on it.

He said he will not take this dog tag necklace off until they come home.

Like, that's not something you can fake, and he's not a faker.

So no, I agree.

I've at this present moment, no issues with Mr.

Musk.

No issues with Mr.

Musk, but anyways, you know, they're always trying to take out Mr.

Musk and now this anti-Semitism thing is being used as like a label so that they can stop advertising with him.

Also, a couple of advertisers, their advertisements had appeared next to,

I didn't see it, but what they're saying is like not see things.

Wait, what?

Like, I don't know exactly what it was, but there was like advertisers on Twitter.

their advertisers like were next to

anti-semitic rhetoric nazi propaganda but like isn't that on every platform

um anyway so what he said was he said don't advertise if someone is going to try and blackmail me with advertising blackmail me with money go fuck yourself go fuck yourself is that clear hey bob if you're in the audience that's how i'm at disney because they pulled their ads that's how i feel don't advertise and then the interviewer is like but elon if you don't have advertisers you don't have a business what are you gonna do?

And he said that if that's what's going to happen, then that's what's going to happen.

And the whole earth will know that X went down because of these advertisers.

And

that he said, quote, let the chips fall where they may.

Did he say that?

But did he do the hand motion?

No.

Did he say let the chips fall where they may?

No, he didn't.

And so that.

He needs to.

He needs to do that.

And he said of the post that sparked the advertiser exodus, the post I was just telling you about, I should, in retrospect, not have replied to that particular post and should have expanded in greater length about what I meant.

I handed a loaded gun to those who hate me, he added, calling it one of the most foolish things he had said on the platform.

Yeah.

I um

I'm just like, I'm focused on like on real anti-Semitism, like not this like

it's strategic, you know?

I'm focused on like people who are really anti-Semitic and like go out and cause violence and hurt you and say things like I'm focused on like real real anti-Semitism.

And that's, I think, where everyone should be.

From both celebrities and non-celebrities.

And there are plenty of celebrities who are posting the wildest anti-Semitic shit, the lies.

Like if Bella and Gigi Hadid are not smeared and canceled for being anti-Semitic, like Elon is not even on the list.

No, and I'm hesitant to call her a celebrity, but that girl from Fifth Harmony, have you seen her Twitter, Lauren?

She know when she starts coming out with the you people,

I know everything I need to know.

and she's deeply unwell and she needs to get the fuck off the internet now I would say you know she'll never work in this town again but she pretty much ready to handle that for herself before Gaza she's also so small even if she were getting canceled I don't know like the headlines would be so big but she's not not a famous person like no she's recognized and I you fifth harmony was global for her

fangirly you have to raise her Twitter

insane and there's a there's a lot of people like that who are you know operating at that level.

Celebrity, intellectual, political, journalist.

No cancelations.

It's like it's open dialogue.

So Elon.

So Elon replied to a tweet that wasn't perfectly quaffed and felt bad about it, clarified, and then took a trip to Israel.

I'm seriously, I'm not going to lose sleep over this.

There are worse things going on.

Not for one second.

But the big news was pretty much, go fuck yourself.

Hey, Bob.

Hey, Bob.

Bob, what's good?

This is tough for us.

This is tough for us because Bob is a real fixture here at the toast.

He is, but he's more of like, it's the idea of Bob, you know?

No, and it's like, what does Bob recognize?

No, I literally, I don't know Bob, but he's just like the, it's the idea of him.

He's the head of Disney.

He was the head of like the studios against the SAG Afstra.

That's right.

Like he is a symbol.

And he's interchangeable.

I'm sorry, Bob.

He literally just lost his Disney job and got it back.

Like he's interchangeable.

It's true.

Elon,

once in a lifetime.

It's true.

Not like other businessmen and Lob.

Literally not like other businessmen.

So that's the latest business news.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I am.

Like my eye is twitching and I'm an older.

Okay, but it's sports news.

Does that get you perked up?

It does.

And it's Aaron Rodgers news.

I saw him practicing.

Aaron Rodgers returns to the practice field 11 weeks after Achilles heel surgery.

He's eyeing a December 24th comeback.

Oh my God, Christmas!

Christmas is coming, and so is Aaron.

Christmas is coming.

And so is Aaron.

Now, this could be a smut novel movie, too, like where he's like injured.

Yeah, he falls in love with the physical therapist.

He's injured.

And it's the big Christmas game.

Will he make it?

And then, of course, he makes it.

They win.

Him and his physical therapist have a Christmas together.

They fuck.

The end.

Yeah, and he had so many walls up because

football is hard.

He was angry when he came into PT and he was like, I don't need this.

I can do it.

He tries to stand up on his own.

You know, that's a classic scene.

And he can't.

He falls.

She catches her.

He has to accept her help.

I love it.

I love it.

I love it.

The Jets quarterback, who tore his Achilles heel in the season opener in September, made his first appearance on the practice field with teammates on Wednesday.

In a press conference, Jets head coach Robert Sala addressed his return to practice after news broke that his

21-day practice window had started.

The window expires on December 20th, giving the team a three-week period to decide whether or not to remove Rogers from the injured reserve.

Should he be removed, he could potentially be on the field for the December 24 matchup against the Washington Commanders.

Okay, I wish Shiga was a more exciting team, like with famous people on it.

Okay, but also the good news is that the Cowboys just beat the Commanders and like the Cowboys aren't the best team in the NFL.

So like this.

So the Jets have a chance at winning and getting a little confidence.

Yeah, and Aaron looking good and then going back to his physical therapist.

We did it.

No, this is so crazy.

He said, he was like, I will make a historic comeback.

I will be back in December.

Like, he didn't give up on New York.

And New York certainly did not give up on him.

But it's been a dark couple of weeks with Zach Wilson at the helm.

Like, he's just ill-equipped.

And I appreciate him stepping in at a time when we needed him, but but his time is definitely up yeah aaron goes back to december all the time

there's a song for there's a taylor swift song for every part of aaron roggers no it's true that's why he's such a swifty

like the morning of the game against the commanders are you ready for it

like there's a song and then after he wins

I mean

New Year's Day.

And just waiting.

There's glitter on the floor after the podcast.

And And just waiting until Taylor writes her NFL-inspired album for Travis Kelsey.

Like, oh, oh, oh, it's over for Aaron coded.

100%.

So I am hoping for a speedy recovery.

What a thrill.

Aaron, December 24th.

Hopefully, he'll be back on the field.

I'd rather see him up there shaking that thing.

We're all going to be together for like the Christmas Day football.

Shapiro was at my house.

He was like so excited that we were like excited to watch.

And it's just going to be a family affair.

All the cameras coming out for a family affair all right

all right

oh i had one more thing to say to you

and to everyone which is that

i finished iron flame

oh my god i didn't i finished iron flame

and and i think it's my end of the road for the series it's it's not that it's not them it's me like i it was always a little young for me and a little silly and i it was too much of my precious time taken up by reading this book.

That's how I felt.

I feel but I think like Snitch loved it.

We'll do a mini recap on the Redheads.

I'm happy.

I'm happy for like the fourth wing family.

The Impyrean lives on.

It was just too much for me.

And I have to tap out.

Yeah, I'm like 50%.

I'll just finish it.

I haven't picked it up in the middle.

Finish it, so it wasn't time wasted.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I have to start Matthew Perry's memoir for my book club.

So I'm going to have to take a break from Iron Flame.

Yeah.

And I'm about to start Brittany.

It's Britney, bitch.

Oh, how exciting.

Yeah, I'm excited about that.

So I'm really happy that I finished the book because that has just been like every day.

I'm like, today will be the day.

And today was not the day that yesterday was.

Okay.

Fabulous.

We love, you know,

achieving our goals here at the toast.

Big or small?

Every goal counts.

100%.

So that is our show.

Tomorrow is our final episode of the week.

So be sure to tune in then.

Share the toast with somebody in your life who's miserable and needs us.

We're doing important work here.

It's a hard time of year.

Send the toast to someone in need.

You'll be doing them a favor and us in due time.

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Liza.

Bye.