Weenie of the Week: Friday, December 1st, 2023

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the tow stand

Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on Friday.

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

Weekend, Friday, Friday, Friday.

getting

down on

Friday.

Hello, Letter DeLou.

Happy Friday.

Happy motherfucking Friday, bitch.

It's exciting.

It's been actually, I feel like a very fair week.

Sometimes the week feels very long.

Sometimes the week feels short.

I feel like this week felt fair.

I mean, it's all subjective, you know?

I feel like a newborn at home.

So

it's been a very long week.

Like, I'm so, if you couldn't tell by my like like little extra oomph i put in the friday song like i'm overjoyed

overjoyed for this day of fry yeah oh my god we had a night oh my god did we have a night like a real newborn night every two hours so we were told that like it's so important for theo to eat and we've been so like hell-bent on making sure he eats enough i think yesterday we really overfed him

Oh my god, was he shitting his pants every two hours last night?

Like my whole house is covered in poop.

Thank God I'm like getting rid of pretty much all my furniture.

Like every rug is covered in poop.

There's poop on the couch.

There's poop on the bed.

There's poop everywhere.

Yeah, it was a really hard night.

And I can't even complain because Ben did so much more than me.

And he's not even complaining, but I have my period.

So like it made it harder.

And there we go, everyone.

You can mark that off on your calendar.

And by the way, it's like day three or four of my period and I didn't even bring it up.

Yeah, you didn't bring it up like day one.

Well, sometimes you have a period that like joins you on day one and like makes itself known.

That's most of the time.

It's like it'll rock your world day one.

Day one was kind of quiet for me this, this month.

I feel like periods day one usually solve my problems.

Like, oh, I've been feeling bloated and irritable.

And it's like, thank heavens the period has arrived.

It's the days before that really get me.

No, for me, it's like.

When I get my period, I'm like, oh, that's why I've been eating so much.

That's always what it is.

But I'm like always eating, you know?

Yeah, but at least once a month, like you eat.

I have something to blame it on.

Yeah.

So we just had a night and a half and

tonight,

Ben's wonderful mother has agreed to watch Theo for the night.

Like I need to sleep.

We have not slept like soundly in like 11 days.

My eye twitch is on fleek.

I know.

Everyone who has like actual children is rolling their eyes at me.

Please, like I'm doing the best that I can.

I need a break.

Like

I'm not okay.

So Theo's staying at his grandparents tonight.

And honestly, I will miss him dearly, but like, my God, am I excited?

Are you going to go out?

I'm going to go to dinner, like a nice civilized dinner, but I would like to be in bed by 10 o'clock.

Nice.

Yeah.

Nice.

Few things.

One.

Okay.

I started Matthew Perry's book, and I just have to say I am in love with it.

I'm so glad.

It's amazing.

Like if you're into friends, obviously there's so many good like friends things, but if you're just like into Hollywood, I didn't know like before he got cast in Friends, he was like really a part of like the Hollywood scene and all these people he came up with and how many amazing things happened to him before Friends.

Cause we weren't really, Friends was aired in 1994.

So this was like really before our time.

And I do have one complaint about the book, but you can definitely tell that the book is written by him because I feel like if I sat down and had a conversation with Matthew Perry, I would know the exact type of personality I'd be sitting down with.

He's very all over the place.

And he'll like start a story and like, you're not sure why he said it.

Maybe like three chapters later, he'll bring that story back up.

It's a little all over the place, but it's so good.

Yeah, I like when celebrities go out of their way and their editors and ghostwriters too, like go out of their way to make sure the book sounds like the person.

Like I felt that way about Paris Hilton's book, like it very much felt like her train of thought.

Yeah.

No, it's really good.

And there's a whole part in there about River Phoenix.

I feel like River Phoenix is like a big Hollywood thing that was also before our time.

But Matthew Perry, before he was famous, got like a role in, it was like his first big deal role, even though the movie flopped, in a movie with River Phoenix.

And he was just like such an unhappy young kid, Matthew Perry.

Like he was an alcoholic from literally the time he was 14.

And he was just so unhappy.

And he had like, not a hard family life, but he came from like a broken family.

And this like couple of weeks that he spent in Chicago with River Phoenix were like the best of his life.

Like when it was over, he like cried in his hotel room.

He didn't want to go home.

And a few years later, River Phoenix famously died outside the Viper room over a drug

from a drug overdose.

And Matthew Perry like lived down the block and he like heard the whole thing and he didn't know what was going on.

He just like went to sleep and when he woke up the next morning, he like found out that his friend River Phoenix had died.

There's just like so many like

Hollywood moments in there.

But I think the most interesting part of the book that I thought of you immediately is he like spends his whole life in therapy.

He's very transparent about like the amount of money he spends and how much money he was making.

He spent in total about $7 million on his recovery.

And because it was, he's been in it.

He's been sober slash not sober for 40 years.

And

he talks a lot about like what he learned in therapy and like why he was driven to drink.

But when he was two months old, he was a very, very colicky baby.

His parents couldn't fucking take it.

Like it was nonstop screaming.

So when he was two months old, they took him to the doctor and something they did in the 60s was they prescribed him a narcotic,

barbadol, phenobarbadal.

And it was like the only thing that worked.

So he would literally, his parents would give it to him.

He would literally be stoned and finally sleep for like a day.

And I think he contributes that to his like chemical obsession, like inability to stay away from alcohol and narcotics to that, which was something that they did very commonly in the 60s.

100%.

I would say that that's a fair assessment.

And that's what's so crazy.

Like, and that's the 60s.

It's not even that far off, but things that were like

common and medically done and recommended, like were so wrong.

There's so many things like that.

And it just like makes you want to.

Hysterectomy.

Lobotomy.

Lobotomy.

Lobotomy.

Yeah, no.

Like, what are we doing now that in 50 years they're going to be like, I can't believe they did that in the early 2000s.

No, and that it was like inhumane and cruel.

I mean, I can think of a few things, honestly.

Isn't that such a, I was, I was reading it, my mouth was hanging wide open.

That is shocking, but just like added to the list.

Like they used to, you know, put those leeches on you to suck the blood out of your, like all throughout history, like horrible medical ideas that were touted as revolutionary.

And you're crazy if you're against this.

So also another thing about the book that I love, it's kind of reminds me when I watch The Crown, like the second I finish an episode of The Crown, I'm Googling 45,000 things.

Yeah.

There's so many things about Methbarius.

He's not like a Nepo baby because, no, I guess he is.

So his parents, his dad like abandoned them in Canada, moved to LA.

He had these dreams of being an actor.

And he ended up being the Old Spice guy, which at the time was like a, kind of how we would think of like the Dose Eckies guy.

Like everybody knew him.

Yeah, or Jake from Safe Farm.

Right, right.

But he wasn't like a celebrity, but he was like a working actor who had this gig and he was somewhat recognizable.

So it afforded Matthew when he eventually moved to LA like a little bit of clout and he went to like fancy private schools.

His mom, I'm highlighting so many things from the book.

His mom was in Canada.

She became like a,

she became kind of famous because she was Pierre Trudeau's press secretary.

And she was just this beautiful woman who was always kind of like Tree Payne, you know, always photographed next to Pierre Trudeau.

And she became like a little bit of a social life.

And then she got this gig for the national news.

And she became like kind of famous.

And then she ended up marrying another news anchor who ended up being the host of Dateline, who everyone's obsessed with, Keith Morrison.

And they're still married to this day.

But we will disappoint him.

Oh.

So Matthew Perry weirdly like grew up hanging out with Justin Trudeau because they were like similar ages.

Actually, he went through like a really rebellious phase.

He He was a really unhappy kid.

And starting from the age of 10, he was just like a misery.

He beat up Justin Trudeau.

They got into like a fight.

They threw arms.

As friends or as foes?

Foe.

Foe.

So they weren't friends.

They were just like around each other a lot.

Because the parents.

That's really funny.

No, it's an amazing book.

Like, I'm, I think it's a great book club book.

And then, of course, I'm up to the part now where he books friends.

And all of that is so interesting.

It's like they knew before

the script hit the pilot scene and there's like a star of every pilot scene.

It's like the show that's going to be big i don't know if that happens so much anymore but like this was real i think it does but this was real like you got a time slot like it was all very like old school tv guide energy and they just knew everyone in town was gunning for this role and his best friend he was best friends with this crew hankazaria who's that guy who does the simpsons voice and this other guy craig craig got chandler

Matthew Perry wanted it so bad, but he was locked into this dumb role for a sitcom that was going nowhere.

It was about baggage claim handlers in the year 2100.

He was like, I was so desperate.

It was so stupid.

And he couldn't audition for anything else.

And he was so mad.

He was like, Chandler is me.

I know it.

I know it.

His best friend gets the role.

But his best friend gets the role and also gets offered something else, another role in another sitcom.

So he sits down with Hankazaria and he's like, guys, what should I do?

I got both these roles.

Should I take friends or should I take this other one?

And they said, you got to take friends.

Like, they were really honest with him.

The guy takes the other role.

Him and Matthew Perry didn't speak for two years.

So then how did Matthew get out of his thing?

It flopped and one of the showrunners was married to one of the showrunners from Friends and was like, hey, is your shit show going anywhere?

We want Matthew Perry to read for Chandler.

And they were like, yeah, you can have him.

They just happened to be married.

Got it.

No, it's so good.

At Lisa Koudreau wrote the foreword and it's very quick.

I started it last night.

I'm further into it than I was Iron Flame.

Got it.

You should read it.

I finished Iron Flame.

Maybe I will read it.

I have so many things on my want to read list now.

Like,

obviously, I have to read Britney's book, but then I just, I think I'm going to go in a more non-fiction direction.

I'm just not in a fiction state of mind right now.

No, wait, so you're in a celebrity memoir is what you're looking for.

Yeah, I want truth.

Yeah, yeah.

It's so good.

I really highly recommend.

Okay.

Just don't be like put off by his writing style.

It's very erratic, but there's good shit in there.

Now, another thing that happened to me today that I I wanted to talk about that I'm so upset about is that the Golden Bachelor was spoiled for me.

Wow.

I mean, I know that Gary is spoiler alert.

Spoiler alert.

Engaged.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I saw that.

That's how the show works.

I don't know who the woman is.

I do.

Like, and I don't even engage with any sort of bachelor or golden bachelor things on TikTok.

And this morning they served me two back-to-back videos of the winner and him talking about their wedding planning.

So the first time I just tried to...

The first time I tried to ignore it and put her name out of my mind.

The second time I saw it, her name is is solidified in my mind.

I'm so sorry.

Do not replace it.

I will not.

I'm so upset.

Maybe you'll forget.

You do have a bad memory.

Yeah, but like now that I've seen it twice and now I'm talking about it.

And you're thinking about it.

Yeah.

It's with me for good.

Understood.

So we've got a great show today.

So many stories that actually

came across my desk in the last 24 hours that I sent to you.

Did you include all three?

Of course I did.

So I'm excited about that.

I feel like it's kind of juicy day for a Friday.

It is kind of a juicy Friday with a juicy placenta.

Yikes.

You look beautiful.

I got some new things for our family trip

and I couldn't wait to wear them.

That's how I felt.

That's the thing about, and I would just experience something similar because one of our sponsors and a brand that I've just now become obsessed with and I really hadn't chopped at before is Loft.

And they just sent me a huge box and I'm like, oh, this is all perfect for our trip.

I put it in the other room because I literally will just, I'm so, oh, oh, oh, the outfit I'm wearing today was for my first box from Loft.

And I'm like, oh, this is perfect for our trip.

I've worn it five times.

Yeah.

I put the new box of stuff in another room.

I, when you get stuff for a trip, like, how do you not wear it before?

Unless it's like beach clothes, but

I just want to say, like, we are on camera every day.

Like, why not wear our nice new things?

And if I wear it again in four weeks, like, it'll be okay.

It'll be okay, but there's something exciting about having something new and wearing it for the first time on your trip.

But it's also something exciting about having a a nice new outfit for your big show.

Where's your vest from?

It's from Revolve.

So cute.

And my top is Revolve.

My pants are Lululemon and my shoes are Ugg.

My shoes are Ugg and my whole fit is Loft.

I love it.

I need to shop more Loft stuff because now I need more new stuff.

No, guys, everyone's sleeping on Loft.

I know.

We've been trying to tell them.

Well, honestly, I feel them.

I think with brand association,

you were asleep.

We all think like Ann Taylor Loft is where we used to get like our pants for our internships.

Like you don't think of it as like comfy, cozy, cute.

They had like a whole rebrand, I think, and it's really cute stuff.

I got like scarves, gloves, matching sets, really cute stuff.

Oh, exciting.

Yeah, I need to do a bit more shopping, but I also like have plenty of loungewear.

I don't need to go crazy, but I just wanted like a few nice new things that I'm already wearing.

So, for the stories today, Tree Pain has lit the universe on fire, and I cannot wait to talk about that.

Okay, so let's get into it.

Okay.

Without further ado, did it do, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Our first story, Taylor Swift's publicist Tree Payne slams gossiper Dumois over the insane Joe Alwyn marriage ceremony claim.

So here's what happened.

Dumois got a blind item about Taylore, very long, about Joe and nonsense, the song glitch, their relationship timeline, whatever.

Then Dumois posted posted that with the caption on top of it saying, she did have a ceremony in either 2020 or 2021 in the UK, and it was described to me as a marriage by more than one person.

It was never made legal.

I will die on this hill.

Put it on my tombstone.

I have no reason to lie.

I could give a shit what she does.

I'm sorry she didn't tell you guys about it in a song, but just because she doesn't sing about something doesn't mean it didn't happen.

So then Tree Payne, who's Taylor Swift's publicist, the one and only...

You guys probably recognize her.

She's like that very tall, beautiful redhead who's always with Taylor.

She's like a really,

most publicists aren't like front-facing, but Taylor, everyone knows her publicist.

She's popular within the Swifty community.

Like she's a, and she's.

She's like only Taylor's publicist.

She's not like someone who's just the publicist to the stars.

Like she's Taylor's mouthpiece.

She's Americana too.

She's Taylor's mouthpiece.

If she's saying something like she is speaking, she's the voice of Taylor.

She's like a full-time employee just for Taylor.

So this is Taylor speaking through Tree, saying, she screenshotted this saying, enough is enough with these fabricated lies about Taylor from Dumois.

There was never a marriage or ceremony of any kind.

This is an insane thing to post.

It's time for you to be held accountable for the pain and trauma you cause with posts like these.

So I was shocked, absolutely guffawed to be reading this.

for a multitude of reasons.

One, Taylor Tree never responds to anything.

People say the crazy, like her thing is that she never responds.

And it's a good strategy because

nothing is wrong.

You give life to it.

I wouldn't have seen that Dumois post if not for Tree's response.

So I found it even more shocking because I feel like maybe at one point

people were reading every word Dumois said.

And probably during COVID, like when everyone was really bored, they were really taking everything Dumois said as gospel.

But then over the years, so many things came out to be not true.

So now it's just like a fun thing that people enjoy.

It's like tabloid-y.

But I don't think, and I would love for people to sound off in the comments, like when you read something on Dumois, like, what do you think about it?

Because for me, at least, I'm like, it's so 50-50.

I don't really,

I really don't give it much credence.

So to find that Taylor Swift, the biggest star, the Beatles of our generation, would be bothered by and respond and give air to something posted on Dumois, I find so shocking because from my point of view, something being posted on Dumois is kind of meaningless these days.

Am I wrong?

I, I, no, it's less, it holds less weight than it once did because a lot of things have come out to be not true.

And also just people have are not as highly engaged with that sort of content as they once were.

But she, Dumois, like sometimes will post something and is like, this is what people are saying, take it or leave it.

That's what she does most of the time.

It's like, she literally says like, not verified rumors.

But here she's throwing her whole weight, but I will die on this hill.

Put it on my tombstone.

Still, I don't think it was, it required a response from Tree because I think that like Tree and Till are, they're just

above this.

They're huge.

Like,

but

she's never really goes that hard for a rumor.

Yeah.

But also, like, does her going hard for a rumor move the needle in terms of public perception?

I feel like no.

I feel like when I think about blinds, like I think about Entie, and I feel like I got to that place.

I used to like read them every day and be like, oh my gosh.

And then I got to a place where it was like, I'll keep this in the back of my mind about someone, but it's not going to color everything that I think about them.

But if he like said, I will die on this hill, put this this on my tombstone, like this is where I'm going to stake my claim.

Like this is what I know for sure.

If I was like, you know, a, ooh, these, this shirt has holes.

Oh, I love thumb holes.

Norma Kamale, queen.

Um, if I was a uh, even a fan or a passive fan, I'd be like, oh, okay, so that's true.

So let's backtrack a little bit.

So I think.

And I just also want to say, Dumois has responded.

Yes, yes, yes.

We'll get to that in a minute.

We'll get to that, but let's talk about this.

So a little bit of context for someone who might not be like as chronically online as me is that Taylor, Taylor, like a few days ago, released a song that had been like

an exclusive, what's it called?

Like a...

A bonus, a deluxe bonus song if you bought her CD.

Now there's ripped off versions all over TikTok.

If you're a Swifty, like you know it and you might not have ever actually streamed it.

But this week she actually put it on Spotify to say thank you for making me the number one girly.

And the song is called You're Losing Me.

And it's very clearly about Joe Alwyn.

I wouldn't marry me either.

A pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see see her.

It's very much like a breakup song, whatever.

So

nothing about that was particularly shocking, except then a day later after the song was released in order to promote the song, Jack Antonoff posted a picture of Taylor.

And I think it was from the day they wrote the song.

And he shared that the song was written in 2021.

So that like made the Swifty spiral to be like, wait, Taylor's been unhappy in this relationship since 2021.

Have they been broken up that long?

So

Dumois posting this was on the heels of everyone being like, wait, have these two really actually not even been together since 2021?

And

then she said, these two were actually married.

I know it in my bones, whatever, whatever.

So now the question is,

well, she said they had a marriage ceremony, but it was never made legal.

The question is, what about

this?

Dumois posting bothered Taylor so much.

You want to know what I think it could be?

What?

I think that maybe

she if she technically like had a ceremony where she was like married to joe and she never told that to travis and now travis might be thinking like do you have an ex-husband like were you married to joe

i claudia claudia yes and so she needs to put like adamantly say it like i was never married before because like not that it would make Travis like think of her any differently, but that's something that you would disclose to a new partner.

So it's like, wait, did she not tell me that she was married?

So that's a kind of a crazy hypothesis.

The one that am choosing to believe that I do credit to Liz Woods, she put this on her story and it made a lot of sense, is that Taylor and Travis like are getting really serious and like the idea that they could be married or engaged sometime soon isn't out of the realm of possibility.

And so Jack Antonoff posting that like this song about the breakup was actually written in 2021 puts a lot more room between her two relationships, making it easier for people to digest.

Okay, not that anyone had something to digest.

The relationship seemed far enough apart for me.

But piggybacking piggybacking off of that, what I thought you were going to say is that she's taking this relationship very seriously.

She wants to perhaps marry him, and she wants the world to know, like, that this would be her first and only marriage.

Like, if now we know she had this little marriage with Joe, like, oh, so this is a second marriage.

Like, it's different as opposed to, like, no, I'm finally choosing to wed this man.

No, that's not any man.

The more you say it, it's not crazy, but also, totally separately, there's a new Hulu documentary about Trailer and Travis

with like sports experts and pop culture experts.

And we are on it.

We are?

They did they reached out to us about like they wanted us to be like experts on the dock.

I didn't want to do it, but they still included us, just like clips from our podcast because they were like

talking about how the whole world is obsessed with this.

And they say even the Toast podcast was talking about it and they had a little clip of us.

Oh my God, thank you.

One of the editors.

That was a perfect amount of involvement for me.

One of the editors is a toaster.

Oh my God, I'm obsessed because they always do, whenever there's like a documentary about pop culture, they always do like a roundup of it in the news.

And it's like, yeah, we should be in there.

Yeah, no, it was very sweet.

Oh my god, I'm gonna watch it.

Yeah, um, it's about like the 25-minute mark.

I watched the whole thing.

Okay, well, you would have maybe watched it anyway because, like, that's your,

you like the beat.

Was there any new information about Trailer that you didn't know?

No, no, it was very basic.

It's for like an older person who is like, What's going on with this Taylor Swift?

Got it.

Okay, so that is what happened between Tree and Dew last night.

But then do responded.

But then do responded.

But when I saw that tree like woke up and decided to drag do by her hair, like I was quaking for do.

Okay, so that's what I was just about to say.

Like, do you think doodadu is shitting her fucking pants?

Because what I think maybe some people do realize and some don't.

Like do is just one gal.

It's not like a whole media company.

It's just one girly who does all this work.

She's very nice.

Like

I would die.

Right.

So I would have thought that Dadu Noi was shitting herself.

Like, oh my God, shit, gonna like crawl into a hole for a little bit, let this blow over.

But then she responded.

And her response, she had some big brass balls because she's doubling down.

And I have more respect for that.

And I actually think that's a better strategy than her kind of like cowering into herself.

Well, if she does cower and just be like, oh, I'm sorry, no one will believe anything she ever says.

Right, but it's much easier to do that than it is to stand your ground, especially because like pain and trauma, oh, okay.

Yeah, sorry.

But it is easy to stand your ground anonymously.

But she's not, insiders know who she is.

Like she knows who she is.

Yes, yes, yes.

Also, she's like come out.

There's like she has.

Has she?

Like there's an article.

I think that she contributed.

There's like an article about Dew and who Dew is.

And I feel like she.

Vulture did a piece, like we figured it out.

Oh, it was a figured it out, not like a sit-down.

Not Dew's coming out.

No, it wasn't a doo-dadoo out debutante ball okay well this is what du said in response she said well i make zero dollars from lying can publicists say the same also to relate something that is in reference to something that happened years ago to quote pain and trauma after what just happened seems like a poor choice of words either way i apologize to taylor after what just happened what happened so the deadline article i'm reading thinks that it's about the fan in

real

i of course you know think it's about october 7th yeah that's what i was thinking too i'm like that's just where my yeah pain and trauma like right right oh oh oh oh oh but i do think it's about the fan

after what just yeah probably the fan no that response is like a knife i don't think this was wise it was it's so out of character not wise for tree yeah

it's so out of character to respond to anything but

I don't know.

Does Jumois still have that sort of chokehold on the culture?

Please sound off in the comments.

Because for me personally, doesn't it doesn't penetrate anymore

there was a time though that it did i don't think it was like dumois posted this and everybody was like oh my god taylor's been married because apparently dumas been saying this for a while yes she has i think that maybe you know kylie kelcey is a big dumois fan and she saw this and she's like travis do you know that taylor has been married and then everything got blown up i don't think kylie kelcey or really anyone in the kelsey clan is reading tabloid like i honestly i think if anybody is reading dumois kylie kelsey would be the last person.

Yeah.

Maybe Mama Kelsey loves Dumois.

Like there's she's on her cruise.

She's

cooling.

Mama Kelsey's tapping through her IG stories.

By the way, so there's a celebrity cruise going on right now that like a lot of celebs are on.

Mama Kelsey.

Oh my God.

That cold boat Ben was supposed to be on.

That's the one that Ben was supposed to leave for a few days ago, but he stayed home with Theo and canceled his trip.

I told him to go.

I'm actually so glad he didn't.

I could not be doing this by myself, but Ben was supposed to be there.

I'm literally Madison Beer right now.

You know, I was supposed to be in the video.

I am glad that Ben is with you and with Du Gatu the first,

but he should be on a cruise with Mama Kelsey.

Like,

that's what the world needs.

No, Donna and Euphagenia, like, a lethal combination.

That's upsetting.

I know.

But there's no worthier cause to stay home for.

Like, I don't have, there was nothing else to do.

Yeah, of course.

But, like, it sucks for celebrity cruises because it's a celebrity cruise line and they could have gotten Ben's offer celebrity.

And that just sucks for them.

Yeah, but they do have Mama Kelsey, and she was listening to Taylor Swift in the background of her story.

Yeah, I saw her.

She's so cute.

I thought she was tapping through Dumois.

By the way, so Taylor and Andrea were, she's supposed to be with Adonna and the Kelseys

in Kansas City for that game, but then the shows in Rio got postponed, so her schedule got fucked up.

I do feel like I don't think the families have met yet and I do think they'll probably spend the holidays together.

In Kansas City?

Somewhere.

They're saying she's like staying in Kansas City for a while.

I don't know if Holiday House is gonna happen.

It's gonna happen.

Yeah, she's in Kansas City, even though she did leave to go to London last night to go to Beyoncé's premiere for Renaissance movie.

And Beyonce had a premiere in the States and Taylor wasn't there because she had a show.

But I was like, damn.

Beyonce showed up for you and you're not showing up for Beyonce.

I was like, damn, that's kind of crazy.

No, she got her ass.

She made it work.

She got her ass on a plane.

I'm sure she's back in Kansas City already.

She just like flew in for this event.

So she is like home base is Kansas City.

And Travis, like a few hours after Taylor landed in Kansas City, Travis was seen at Trader Joe's in the local like Kansas City town and he was buying ice cream for Taylor and like people were freaking.

How do you know it's for Taylor?

I just feel like Travis is an athlete.

He probably doesn't need ice cream.

No, I feel like he's like eats a million calories a day.

But what's more classic, it's like, babe, I'm hungry.

Can you go get me ice cream?

Like it's for Taylor.

I think it's for both of them.

Oh, okay.

But I think we all like ice cream.

I think they both do probably like ice cream.

Sharing a spoon.

So cute.

One spoon.

What flavor?

Did anyone get the flavor?

No, apparently, like people in Kansas City were so respectful.

Like nobody saw that.

I saw that.

Like there were videos of him walking around the store totally normally.

Not one person went up to him.

He was lovely.

Everyone was well-behaved.

So I'm sure that's why he loves his town so much.

They really respect him, even at this level.

Like they're leaving him alone.

Yeah, that's hysterical.

Okay, so that is what went down between Tree Taylor and Dadou Moi.

And I just want to go on the record saying, like, this was an uncharacteristic move of Tree and Taylor, and I actually don't think it was the right move.

And one more question.

Do you think they had a ceremony?

No.

I do not think they would have responded.

So publicly, which they never do, if there was even a glimmer of truth to it.

Because that's an insane thing to do.

I think it's one of those things where a ceremony can be interpreted into a lot of different things.

And in Doom Wild, they're talking about the same event.

And in Tree's mind, this was not a marriage of any kind.

And in Dew's mind, it's like, oh, this was a ceremony in the elk of a wedding.

Elk, yeah.

Wedding elk.

Yeah, it's possible.

Oh, I have to add that to the list of words that we're never going to use properly again.

Or say properly, because it's like ilk.

No, no, but it's ilk, but I'm saying the wrong word.

Like elk is a bad animal.

Oh yeah, so you're saying it wrong, but you're using it right.

I guess it's both.

Yeah.

Okay, just gonna add that.

Great.

Well, you know what?

We can't be held back by like social constructs and words and their meanings because we are the elk of dreamers, you know?

We are.

Also, language is ever-evolving.

And why not?

Why can't we put our spin on it?

It's so true.

Language is, for me at least, it's interpretive.

You know what it's giving?

The Tower of Babel.

The Tower of Babel.

It always comes back to the Tower of Babel.

So true.

The Tower of Babel is my Roman Empire, like really one of them that I'm constantly cross-referencing in my head.

Like, hmm, Tower of Babel.

Yeah.

What a lesson.

What a lesson.

What a lesson.

You want to know what the moral of the story of Tower of Babel is?

Shut the fuck up.

No.

It's about girl bossing too close to the sun.

Hmm.

Literally.

It's beautiful.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Kelly Clarkson's ex, Brandon Blackstock must pay her over $2.6 million for unlawfully procured business deals.

Obsessed.

Okay, if there was like...

We used to do this in our family, like Weenie of the Week.

Oh my God, have we ever told the toasters about Weenie of the Week?

It was one of the most hurtful things like ever because we would do just like the sisters and we wouldn't do it every week.

No, but we wouldn't ever like someone would remember, we would do weenie of the week, and we would like we'd all nominate one other person.

We couldn't nominate ourselves, obviously, a sister, not a person in the world.

Oh, yeah, it was between the four of us, and we had to nominate one of the sisters as the weenie of the week and cite what they did.

That was weenie-ish.

And the way, like, you and Olivia only ever chose me and Margo, you and Olivia never won weenie of the week.

We formed the alliance, it was always me or Margo, and it was just like it was stupid because it wasn't fair.

No, I mean, it doesn't seem like the most fair and generous of spirit sort of game no i hated weenie of the week it was always me well i just want to say like brandon blackstock is the weenie of the year

i forgot why we were talking about weenie of the week brendan blackstock is the weenie of the week every week like

oh my god sand just takes l after l after l and it's all because of his actions action so it's like it's justice no it's actually really beautiful to to be watching someone face the consequences of their actions over and over again.

Like, this is a bad person, you know, who stole and manipulated

the woman he loved, the mother of his children.

Like, how rotten can you be?

And it's like, of course, mother of children, woman you love, like, you should never betray her.

But also, like, it's Kelly Clarkson, America's sweetheart.

Like, pure goodness.

No, and I know that the judge presiding over this case, like, he was calling and voting for Kelly Clarkson.

Like, that's how

deep the Kelly stanhood runs.

Like, but it's actually so true, like, because when American Idol was on, like, even if you watch it religiously or you just like

were a living person, you knew you had, you were impacted by Kelly Clarkson.

So it's actually.

Do you think the judge was calling for Justin Gordon?

No.

Was anyone?

I think that when Kelly cried during peace by peace, the judge cried during peace by peace.

1,000%.

And now we're seeing the judge.

I just think it's going to be impossible for Brandon Blackstone to get a fair trial in this country because of Kelly's impact.

Well, you should think about who you're harming then.

It's you should just also just think about

harming in general.

It's a good lesson.

I love this.

Here's the story.

Brandon Blackstock helped orchestrate several business deals for his ex-wife Kelly Clarkson while serving as her manager, but he wasn't supposed to, a California labor commissioner has ruled.

Earlier this month, Clarkson scored a victory in her latest legal battle against Blackstock.

According to documents obtained by People, he's been ordered to pay her $2.6 million for overstepping in his managerial role and unlawfully procuring deals that should have been handled by a talent agent.

His legal team has filed to appeal the ruling.

I hate this man with every fiber of my being.

And I just feel like in the last like year or two, Kelly's had a couple of really big legal wins because she didn't do anything wrong and the law is on her side.

And the, you know, the judicial system is slow, but the wheels of justice are turning in Kelly's favor.

So this is just another one.

You know, she won that child support thing.

She won the prenup.

He tried to have the prenup void.

Like, he's just been a dick at every turn.

And she took the house.

Yeah, the ranch, and he was ordered to give it back.

To see him losing brings me great joy.

Yeah.

The wheels of justice turn slowly.

And of course, you know, not to bring gender into it, but to see a man, like a greedy little fuck, try and leech off a successful woman who's, you know, a mother, an entrepreneur,

a touring touring singer, a daytime host, like to see an unemployed slob

try and bleed her out, you know, suck her dry, it makes me sick.

The men should be ashamed.

It's, it's terrible.

Yeah.

No, especially I feel like there are a lot of men who like when they're married to a woman, they try and like, you know, manage and take advantage and make themselves and ride the coattails.

And in to some degree, that's like, you know, that's their job and that's lawful.

And they're just, you know, why should someone else have this job if I can do it?

Right.

The fact that he was also being like a crook, a crook about it.

Yeah.

Like, why don't you just like ride her coattails lawfully?

You know, why don't you just like be normal and be like a stay-at-home husband?

Like, I'm sure Kelly would have been happy to make the fortune and you just not do anything.

But he's also, he's a music manager.

Like have other clients.

Don't shit where you eat.

By the way, he did have other clients.

That's what's so greedy about this.

He was Blake Shelton's manager.

And when Kelly and him decided to get divorced, Blake Shelton took, you know, Kelly's side and dropped him as his manager.

But up until that point, like, he had a career of his own.

So why you got to go and steal too?

Why you got to be so mean?

No, I hope he, like, I want him to lose every penny to his name.

Like, you're going to be a criminal.

Cool.

Kelly's coming for you.

Yeah.

Kelly's coming for you.

Are you ready for our next story?

What number is this?

Three.

Yes.

Some Disney tea from back in the day.

I don't know if you've seen it, but we always love Disney tea from back in the day.

So Kim Rhodes, who

was the one who was like, actually, right before we started watching this, I was watching a clip of her on Christy Carlson Romano's podcast.

Exactly.

Kim Rhodes, who played the mom on Sweet Life and Zack and Cody.

She played the singing mom, who's the mother to the twins.

The cabaret.

She was kind of like cabaret with the countess before it was careful.

She was kind of like the crazy queen.

No, I was obsessed with her.

Of course you were, because she was living her dream singing.

Yeah, she eventually sings on a cruise ship.

Like it takes her everywhere.

She's singing at a luxury hotel.

No, and she like her passion afforded her children like amazing opportunities.

She was an incredible mom.

She was a single mom.

She had two jobs who loves her kids and never stops.

A gentle hand and the heart of a fighter.

She's literally a survivor.

Yeah.

So she...

choked up as she recalled an incident on Christy Carlson Romano's vulnerable podcast where she claimed that an executive allegedly body shamed Dylan's sprouse in front of the show's cast and crew.

She said the executive had screamed at craft services that there should be no more junk food until Dylan looked like his twin brother Cole, who also starred on the Disney Channel sitcom.

She defended the then teenager at the time and fucking lit into the network, Bigwig, whom she refused to name.

I was like, you do not have the right to say that to a child.

You do not have the right to be writing for children if that is your attitude.

Never again do you speak like that.

Never.

She also recalled a time where the boys were, I think it was Dylan, he was instructed to make a fat joke about her on the show

and he wouldn't say it.

He just kept skipping over it, she told listeners.

She said it was like in the middle of a chunk of dialogue, so he kept skipping this laugh line.

Finally, we get in front of the studio audience and he skips it and the executive producer screams, cut, Dylan, say the line.

And he goes, I would never disrespect any woman that way, let alone this woman.

Oh my god,

you write something funny and I'll say it.

Oh, okay, slay with the, with the nine-year-old.

Yes.

That's like kind of one of those quotes that it's like, like,

I remember that a nine-year-old said, or he was probably 13, like, I will never disrespect any woman that way, let alone this woman.

But I do believe that like he.

He said some iteration of that.

And a child's version of it.

And that he refused to say the joke and refused to disrespect her.

But there was a lot of mutual standing up for one another.

Yeah.

That story about craft services, when I saw the clip, like that was wild.

Because I do remember a time, of course, where the twins looked different, but they were, you know, pubescent, kidding.

Growing boys.

That's what happens.

And honestly, I think for a lot of people, it was how they started telling Dylan and Cole apart.

And I think it actually, in the end, contributed to a lot of their individuality, like for real.

Yeah.

I do, because I think it's a twin.

They were so similar looking, like the hair, the clothes, everything.

So I think it established them as like two different people at first.

And I don't think it was a bad thing.

And

to know, I feel like.

So there's like this conversation being had now on social media, especially on TikTok, where there's a couple former Disney stars who are grown now, now whose entire brand is what basically Christy Carlson Romano is doing, having a podcast, inviting others on and talking about their show.

So the three kids from Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide have their own show that's like, you know, being talked about.

Annalise Vanderpol,

who is Chelsea from That's a Raven, has her own.

Christy Carlson-Romano, of course, the Wizards of Waverly Place.

And people on TikTok are like dragging them because like it's annoying and it's all they talk about and all their TikToks, everything is just about this one job that they had.

But I don't feel that way about this particular conversation because I watched a lot of this podcast and Kim Rhodes talks also about how like she's very famous.

People recognize her.

She doesn't have a career.

She says she's, you know, virtually unbookable.

She doesn't have health insurance.

Like I actually did think it was an interesting conversation.

And Kim Rhodes seems like a really, really nice lady.

Yeah.

No, that sort of conversation doesn't bother me.

I feel like it's the opposite that bothers us when people are known from from their one show and they don't talk about it and they're like, think they're better than that.

But see, as like a child star, there's really no way to win because if you don't talk about it, we are like, oh my God, it's annoying.

Talk about the thing.

And if you talk about it, they're like, oh, my God, will you ever stop talking about it?

Like, what, how really?

How are you supposed to exist

post that?

Well, that's like anything.

You'll never make people happy.

So just talk about it to the degree in which you're comfortable.

Yeah, I feel like someone who does a good job of that is Josh Peck.

Yeah.

Because he obviously has this thing,

Drake and Josh.

That's so huge.

But he really did a good job of like, he talks about it if you ask him about it, but he doesn't make it his personality.

And he'll engage with like the funny hug me, brother, type of things.

But he also has a life and a family that he talks about and fatherhood.

And he was in the vlog squad temporarily.

Like he has other things that people, I feel like when I just said Josh Peck, your immediate thought wasn't Drake and Josh, right?

No, it's good guys.

It's good guys, right?

And Oppenheimer.

Yeah, so I think he's kind of a perfect example of how to toe the line, but I imagine it's very difficult.

Yeah.

You know who I feel like actually does a pretty good job considering it's hard?

Who?

Hilary Duff.

Yes, but Hillary Duff is different because she went on to be in things that were just as big as

Lizzie Maguire.

Yeah, that's true.

So it's a difficult spot to be in.

Yeah.

Well, okay, TikTokers, if you don't like it, don't listen to it.

Yeah.

And I thought that Christy Carlson Romano actually did a really good job with this interview because Kim Rhodes was like dropping truth bombs after truth bombs.

And

I thought that story about craft services was just wild.

And it's so something I could see happening.

Oh, of course.

The people who run those kid shows are disgusting.

Disgusting.

It's like, this is just, I feel like a tip of the iceberg.

I mean, and the way that they make kids feel, the way that they talk to kids, like

that.

you know, doesn't even go below the surface of some of the stuff that happens.

Right, but I always felt like those types of stories were really reserved for the other networks, like especially Nickelodeon.

I think Nickelodeon, and if you you read Jeanette McCurdy's book, there's so much in there about Nickelodeon.

I don't really know of a lot of traumatizing moments or stories that I can think of from Disney.

I think Disney was very like exploitative.

You know, you think of like Miley and Selena and Demi, like they're all like traumatized from Disney, not necessarily in the way that some of the Nickelodeon kids might have been traumatized.

And I think we're all talking about like...

Down Schneider.

Yeah.

And the allegations against him.

So I don't, I hadn't heard anything about that like at Disney, but I think it was, you know, as far as kids go, like a toxic work environment.

Yeah.

And they're not treating kids with like, they're not treating kids with kid gloves.

Yeah, not treating kids as kids.

Yeah.

Like they couldn't get, you know, they have to do their schooling and they have to do their show and they're the

centerpiece of the show.

There's so much pressure on them and their kids going through puberty and their emotions are heightened and like no one's there caring for them.

They're just like, get back to work.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it's very like a sweatshop, like 24-7.

So I don't think they like look back on it fondly.

But I think maybe an adult like Kim Rhodes in certain, like when you're an adult and you're on this like great show and you have a lead role, but it's not all on you.

Like it's more of a palatable work environment, except for when they're like fat-shaming everyone.

Right, right, right.

She just seemed like a really, like she had a great head on her shoulders in the interview.

She like looks really similar.

She just has big arm tattoo.

She seemed like a sweet lady.

She reminded me a lot of her character.

Like a very maternal energy, very calm, peaceful.

I really like her.

We knew Sweet Life of Zack and Cody reboot.

Do we?

Yeah, with her and the boys.

Everyone.

I quite love Mr.

Mosby.

In terms of that show.

There's actually a lot of actors from that show who went on to have.

Usually it's just like the star.

But we have Dylan and Cole, Brenda Song, Ashley Tisdale.

There's quite a few people who made it out.

Even Mr.

Mosby.

Does he act in other stuff?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

I'm pretty sure he was convicted of manslaughter in like 2014 or something.

What?

Yeah.

Phil Lewis is his name, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, never mind.

Am I right about manslaughter?

Why did Phil Lewis get arrested?

He was involved in a horrendous tragedy.

Oh, okay, never mind.

Yeah.

Yikes.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Is it our next story that's brought to you by L'Oreal?

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Okay, our next story, a little clarity on one of the breakups from this past week.

Dave Portnoy reveals the reason behind his split with Silvana.

Okay.

So Dave Portnoy was on his podcast, BFF's Pod, just one week after she revealed they're no longer together.

And this is what he said, because a lot of people were like wondering why they broke up.

There was the Raquel rumor, which obviously wasn't true.

I'm sorry.

If people believe the Raquel rumor, no, no, I don't think people do, but people are still waiting for me.

We need to all like use critical thinking sometimes.

Like the way rumors just get spread so fast, like people are being stupid.

Yeah.

Like you're being dumb.

Use your brain.

You obviously need to hook up with Raquel.

Quote, we were dating for three years and I guess you get to a point where you think maybe there's a difference in what somebody wants and what the other person wants.

And without going into too much detail, I just didn't think I could give Silvana kind of what she deserves.

She's so beautiful.

She's funny.

She's smart.

She's all these things.

He admitted that it was probably a me issue and he doesn't think that he is the guy she is looking for and is going to be able to provide her with what she needs down the road.

He said he felt like he was, quote, stealing Silvana's youth, but didn't elaborate on whether or not it had to do with the brunette beauty wanting to settle down.

That's, that's probably what it was.

It's getting like Scott dissick, Shep and Taylor, like, I don't want to be married.

I don't want to have kids.

And like, a young girl is like okay with that up until a certain point.

No, and a young girl, every girl thinks like, yeah, he says that, but I'm different.

Yeah.

And like we have a great relationship for three years, even the way he's talking about her on the podcast.

She was his best friend.

He misses her so much.

He's very concerned and like wants good things for her.

It literally is exactly Shep and Taylor, if you watch Southern Charm.

Like, they were such a great couple.

Shep was so happy.

Taylor loved him so much and like was waiting for him to get it.

But there are men who just never will settle down.

You can be the perfect person inside and out and do everything and like be there ready, willing, and able.

And they just don't want that.

I don't understand it, but that's just them.

No, same.

So like, I wasn't particularly surprised by this breakup.

I think there's really only so long you can be in a relationship with that doesn't progress before things get troublesome.

And that's as a young woman when you have like, you know, desires for what you want your life to look like.

I mean, if you're someone who, if you're a young girl who never wants to get married and never wants to have kids, like you should call Dave Portnoy.

It's so true.

But I think even sometimes young girls go into like a relationship like that.

Oh, I don't care about like marriaging kids.

But then you grow up within the relationship and those things start to matter for you.

And then the relationship can't work.

But I just like can't understand.

I feel this way when I'm watching Southern Charm.

I felt this way about Scott Disick with Sophia Ritchie.

Like, and he's always dating young girls because a girl at 21, yeah, she doesn't want to get married yet.

But when she's 25, she's like, hey, what about that marriage?

Yeah.

I don't understand these men who are so, so against like marriage.

And

the thing is, same.

Because if you're going to be in a three-year monogamous relationship, that's marriage.

Getting married changes nothing.

From being in a committed relationship, making the jump to marriage, quite literally your life doesn't change at all i understand people being very hesitant to have kids like that's your whole life being flipped on a dime but the fear of commitment while being in a committed relationship makes no sense to me yeah yeah people are very like freaked out about marriage you're living with someone you're monogamous you do everything together you hang out with her family she hangs out with your family how is that different than just being married i think the kids is a big piece of it i think like for everyone it's like okay for well we're getting married then we're having kids therefore we cannot get married i feel like the men feel that way, and also the women feel that way.

Like, I don't want to necessarily be married to someone that I can't have kids with if I want to have kids.

Yes, no, no, no, for sure.

So, that answers that, and it makes sense.

I just like, why?

Why?

No, but also, Dave Portnoy, a lot of people forget, was married,

right?

A million years ago.

No, no,

that would be crazy.

Yeah.

I don't know what happens to men like this, like Shep.

Yeah.

And I mean, Scott obviously has kids, but

does it ever change?

Like, no.

I mean, do they become like that guy in their 60s?

Yeah, who's like finally ready?

George Clooney.

Yeah.

He dragged that Stacey Keebler around town for years.

I don't know.

He felt a little different.

He was always kind of dating like age-appropriate women.

Yes, yes, but they never, ever, ever got serious past like just being in a committed relationship.

Never engaged, never married, never kids.

Yeah.

Then, I don't know if it's the woman, like, was Amal different, but you know, he dated beautiful, successful, smart women his whole life.

Yeah.

They were all wonderful wives, could be wonderful wives and mothers, and they all went on to be wonderful wives and mothers.

Yeah.

It's not about the woman.

It's, it's like that thing from

Sex in the City.

It's really the perfect metaphor.

It's every, every man is a cab.

Yeah.

And if you hail one when his light is on, It's just timing.

It's not you.

Yeah, it's timing.

But I don't know how like people like like this change or when or why they would.

Maybe they get older and they start to like have an existential crisis and they're like, let me try something different.

But whenever I, like, I,

to me, like, Shep and Dave are the same person and I just don't see them ever changing.

No, yeah.

Shep is also just very stubborn.

Yeah.

I don't know, Dave, but I.

In this situation, like, if you were watching Southern Charm right now, like, Taylor and Shep were the perfect couple.

Like, she made him so happy.

He literally like cried.

Like, they shared a dog and Shep, it's Shep's dog, Craig, little Craig.

And like when Shep sees Taylor with the dog who she had to leave when they broke up, like he cries over like missing Taylor and their dog and their little family.

And it's like, why not marry the girl?

You love her so much.

You love her so much.

Even like when Paige was, she went down to South Carolina.

She was like, Shep loves Taylor so much.

Like, what if you just stayed with her and got married?

No, I can't with people who refuse to be happy.

Like, I'm not sure.

No, and also what's crazy is like Shep's parents are still together.

So like, what?

He grew up in a loving home.

Like, what's what's the problem?

Right, like, back to Matthew Perry's book.

He's never been able to have any sort of happiness when it comes to relationships.

He was abandoned as a child.

That carried him through his entire life.

Every year for his birthday, he would wish for his parents to get back together.

His parents fucking hated each other.

Like, hate.

They maybe have been in the same room three times in the last 15 years.

Like, hated it.

And that is so prevalent.

His mother really never gave him attention.

She worked so hard.

She was a single mom.

All he ever wanted was attention.

He has a fear of abandonment.

Like, he just used to leave good relationships before that person left him.

Like there's a psychological reason.

Like he, yeah, he spells it out.

He's been burned.

He has, you know, past pain.

He doesn't feel mommy issues.

He's never seen it.

If you can't see it, you can't achieve it.

Yeah, I believe Dave Portoy's parents are also still married.

Right.

So like, what is this?

I don't know.

But like, girls, you can't change them.

Yeah, if you're in one of these situations, like, thinking you're going to be different, like, I love you.

I'm sure you're an amazing person, but you're not different.

It's not about you.

It's just about something.

And sometimes it never, the flip never, the switch never flips for a man.

Sometimes it does.

It has nothing to do with the girl, but sometimes they don't.

Do not be wasting your time in relationships like this.

Like for real, it will, you will drive yourself mad.

And you'll think it's about you when it's not.

Yeah.

Well, at least he said it's a me problem.

Right.

And at least he was kind enough to realize he's stealing her youth and like she should get on with it.

And I have to imagine he was pretty open with her from the beginning.

Like you don't get into a three-year relationship without telling someone someone you don't want to get married.

Yeah, they broke up like the Sunday before Thanksgiving.

They were supposed to spend Thanksgiving together.

They just like got into a conversation about the future.

He said it wasn't the first conversation like this, but it's the last one.

Yikes.

Yeah, it was a little like out of left field, considering it's the holidays.

The timing wasn't great.

I think their parents were both in town, like ready to spend.

But

that's it.

That's how the cookie crumbled.

Speaking of cookies, are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I am.

I love this story.

Subway announces foot-long cookies and is giving them out for free on Monday.

So again, if there's a free snack, the toast is going to let you know where to find it.

And this one is a special one because it's a foot-long cookie.

But it's also Subway.

And the reason why I wanted to talk about this story is we rail on Subway all the time.

We don't eat their sandwiches.

The stores smell like shit.

But their chocolate chip cookies are amazing.

Yeah.

And they must be in like a special.

you know, vacuum sealed vault because they don't smell like the rest of the store.

No, it's true.

It's true.

So the fact that they're doing something different with their cookies and, you know, they're known for their foot long.

So it's like a funny, you know, it's like literally, it looks like a piece of bread.

It's a foot-long cookie.

Imagine getting two of those and putting a little bit of ice cream between them.

Chef's kids.

You should go.

Treat yourself.

100%.

On Monday, though, when it's free.

I love this sort of ingenuity in marketing and baking.

And I just, I give this tens, tens, tens across the board.

The subchain announced that it will add 12-inch cookies to menus nationwide in early 2024.

But before adding the foot-long dessert across the country, Subway is handing out the new dessert for free at select locations next week.

So listen up.

Monday, December 4th is National Cookie Day, and fans can visit a restaurant in Chicago, Dallas, Miami, and New York City to snag one free foot-long cookie with any purchase of any foot-long sub.

Okay, you have to buy a sub so it's not like totally free.

Turdy?

You have to buy a sub so it's not totally free.

Oh,

uh.

Get them a tuna sandwich.

Doesn't he love their tuna?

Or he hates it.

It's not real.

He used to eat it a lot as a kid, and then it came out a few years ago.

There's actually not even a 1% trace of tuna fish in their tuna salad.

Got it.

But wait, this just reminded me of something.

Okay.

I saw something on TikTok over the weekend.

It was just like the biggest chain restaurants in the United States in terms of

locations.

Okay.

I want you to guess.

McDonald's is number one.

Yes.

Number two?

Subway.

Yes.

Well, just because we're talking about it and you like, don't you find out?

You guys seem surprised.

Strange.

I can't say that I do, I'm not an expert on the matter because I'm I don't keep up with Subway.

Like if there's a Subway, if I pass a Subway, I don't register it.

If I pass a McDonald's, go to Norch's.

Number three,

Taco Bell.

It's like a different category.

You're not, you have to think a little bigger, like chains.

A drink chain, Starbucks.

Yes.

Four, you're never gonna guess it.

I found this shocking.

No.

No.

Red Robin?

KFC.

Oh, that's not that crazy.

Six.

Can you just tell me?

Burger King.

Okay.

Seven, Pizza Hut.

Eight Dominoes.

Nine, Dunkin', 10, Krispy Kreme.

Taco Bell is 11.

Krispy Cream.

To me, they're like.

So random.

Diamond in the, like, a needle in a haystack.

You can never find one.

Right, but this is just about location.

So I do think it's regional, like to certain areas.

No, so there are people who have Krispy Kreme aplenty.

The way that we have Duncan in New York, they have Krispies.

Yes.

Where can we move to?

They have Krispy Kreme, over 10,000 locations.

To put in perspective, McDonald's, which is number one, has 40,000 and Subway has 37,000.

Starbucks has 36,000.

That's because McDonald's is not a burger business.

It's a real estate company.

Right.

And we learned that from what was that movie?

The founder?

The Millions?

The Founder.

If you haven't seen The the founder, add that to your list of family movies.

It's

amazing.

Also, I want to just talk about something for a brief second, and it's about Spotify rapt.

Okay.

Are you starting to see like more and more inconsistent information coming out of Spotify rapt?

I'm not really looking for inconsistent information.

I'm not looking for it either, but like everybody's listening sounds brings them to Provo, Utah.

Yeah, I heard about that.

Mine was too.

What was your listening sound?

I didn't see that statistic.

I didn't even know what people were talking about.

I must have tapped through it.

They had like some random statistics.

You listen most similarly to Provo, Utah, like a bunch of people.

Like what's going on in Provo?

That's where those schools are.

I was going to say what's going on in Provo is illegal.

Like those, that's where those ESG schools are.

Where Paris Hilton went, Provo Canyon.

Yeah.

They're like, I don't think they get to listen to music there.

Right.

I guess what they're saying is you have the same sort of music taste as an angsty teen.

Or EGS, not ESG.

I have the same music taste as an NSD teen.

Anyways, I'm just seeing like, and people, they're not making sense.

I feel like there was some plant planting

going on on the lists.

Well, Spotify used 24 hours to respond.

To bring it all the way to the top, was Taylor even the number one most streamed artist or did they want in on the Taylor?

I do think she was.

I really do.

I think it's fairly.

I think it's believable because like she's, everybody's listening to her.

She had like three albums.

Nobody had Taylor Swift in her top five and was like, what?

I never listened to Taylor Swift.

I know.

I'm just saying Spotify rap doesn't doesn't seem as data-driven as it once did.

That's all I'm saying.

Oh, wow.

That's a huge accusation to hurl.

It's a huge, I just feel like there were a couple things that were planted in there.

Not necessarily Taylor, but then it makes you question the validity of Taylor.

If there's one lie, it makes you question what else to be a lie.

Right.

It's rotten at its core.

Yeah, if there's a piece of rot you have to peel away, is the whole thing rotten?

And I've never felt like that about Spotify rap.

You haven't.

You're always, always lauding it for.

It's such a challenge.

a Spotify rapped.

You really are.

But we have to be asking the hard questions or else we're not doing our jobs.

So true.

Now we can go embark on the weekend, have our lunch.

Let's do it.

I hope everybody has an amazing, restorative, and relaxing weekend.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast, the Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the Fast Test stories.

You need to know everybody, the Friday and YouTube.

So you're watching us on YouTube.

Please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts at our podcast.

Can you dance at Spotify?

I already guys watch all the podcasts of the Sunday Podcast.

Finances at Toast of Fast Review Bit of Buddhist and Wickedly Talented We are.

Have an amazing day.

Happy weekend.

Happy Friday.

We love you dearly, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love you.

Bye.