The Almighty Jews & Their Big Podcast: Tuesday, November 7th, 2023

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Tuesday.

Hope everybody's having a great day.

Hey, Jax, how you darn?

I'm darn good because I just pulled a little prank on you right before we started recording.

Just a teeny tiny one.

Don't spoil it.

I'm gonna clip it.

We actually got it on camera.

It was one of the dumbest things ever.

And you got me.

You got me.

Classic stuff.

Classic

stuff.

Classic Jackson Claude, man.

Jax, how you doing?

I'm darn good.

I'm excited.

I'm going to see you later today.

Can I get a whoop?

Can I get a whoop whoop?

Because I'm coming to New York for the rest of the week, so we'll be together in studio OG original recipe.

I'm officially 31, and I had a really lovely birthday,

and

it's over now, you know?

That's the thing about birthdays.

They come and then they go.

But what I like about my birthday, obviously, and the older that you get, like the less import you place on it.

But it does force me to like stop in my tracks and like reflect on my life.

And especially like throughout the day, I keep having to be like, oh, it's my birthday.

Like, let me be present.

So that was very nice, a constant reminder.

I couldn't do that every day, but it was really nice to do it yesterday and just to pause and be like, I'm enjoying myself.

That's nice.

Yeah.

Well, I loved celebrating you and Jakey yesterday.

I think you liked celebrating Jakey more, honestly.

And update from yesterday's episode, your present has been secured.

I think I crushed it, honestly.

I'm excited to see what you got me.

It's always like, obviously, I get a gift that's exciting, but also to see what people think of me is exciting.

Yeah.

I think you're going to open this gift and be like, oh, my sister thinks highly of me.

I love that for me.

I think, I hope.

I don't want to over, you know, maybe I should underplay it.

Like, no, it sucks.

No, let's hype ourselves up, Turtleoo.

Let's get excited about things.

Turtleoo Turtleoo.

Turdaloo, turdaloo, turdaloo.

We have a gorgeous show today because you're here and I'm here and we're both supermodels.

Therefore, the episode will be gorgeous.

And that's just girl math for you.

Girl math.

What are your thoughts on the girl?

Oh, wait, we need to talk about something.

I'm sure you don't know this because like you're not like

an insane person who spends as much time on the internet as I do, but we have fallen into some sort of conspiracy theory.

There is something being theorized about us.

Tell me.

So last week, there was like a story going around.

I don't think it was like major news.

I have, I think I know what you're going to say.

Not as exciting as I thought it was going to be like a real conspiracy theory.

About Travis Kelsey's publicist.

Yeah, that we're like covering for her.

Yeah, okay.

So the story last week that we didn't make a story.

Did you know about it last week?

I had seen it, like maybe on Instagram.

I saw like a screenshot of it, or maybe even it was in the news.

I never clicked it.

I just didn't care.

I had a feeling.

I had seen it, obviously.

And if I, sometimes there's a story that like I know you might not see and I always send it to you being like, I'll explain it to you on the toast.

Yes.

I didn't send me it.

I didn't do that with the Travis Kelsey publicist story because honestly, like

I don't know what the result was.

Like, I don't know what happened there.

So I also like, I just didn't think it was that crazy.

But the story was that like Travis Kelsey's publicist, it was her birthday.

And on her private, not private, her personal Instagram story, she reshared a photo that her friend posted of her, like a collage that was like, oh, oh, happy birthday, Pia.

You're our Roman Empire.

And in the collage was like a bunch of pictures of Pia's life.

And there was a picture of Travis and Kelsey in it because she's obviously Travis's publicist.

And the picture of Taylor had a clown emoji over Taylor's face.

Now we don't know.

No, who's in the picture?

Travis and Kelsey, and I believe Pia was in the background.

Why do you keep saying Travis and Kelsey?

Oh my God, I'm sorry.

Travis and Taylor.

Travis and Taylor and Pia's in the background.

Okay, and then she put a clown emoji over Taylor's face.

We don't know if Pia reshared the story and then put the clown emoji on top or if the clown emoji was there originally.

Like we don't know that.

Okay, that's important facts ways.

And then obviously the Swifties found it immediately.

The girl made her Instagram private.

Like there was, people were freaking out.

Like why would her publicists do this?

And conspiracy theories were, you know, ablaze.

They're a PR couple, whatever.

We didn't choose it as a story.

There was really no underlying like strategy there.

It just, it didn't feel compelling.

Yeah, and we talk about Travis and Taylor every day, so we can't talk about every

minute story that comes out every day.

Like we talk about the big ones.

They were spotted.

There was a game.

Right.

You know, whatever.

We had just been Travis and

Jason for Halloween.

Like it was overkill.

I didn't

pick a Travis Taylor story every single day.

That's really why.

I agree.

It didn't even cross my mind, should I pick a shit or not?

I just breezed past it.

So I guess us not choosing it led people to spiral.

And they were like, well,

we know that Claudia knows Travis's publicist.

Because you said that.

We know that Claudia knows Travis's publicist.

She's probably trying trying to cover for Pia.

I think that you were trying to cover for Pia.

Okay.

I think that you were because she's a dear, dear friend of yours.

And you know that she was really struggling because she thinks Taylor's a clown.

So I just wanted to come on here today and clear my name.

I don't know Pia.

I have never met Pia.

And now people are going to be like, Claudia, you're misremembering.

You did meet Pia.

Cody Rigsby.

So Cody Rigsby was here.

We were talking about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey, and he mentioned that he has the same publicist as Travis Kelsey, and that that publicist was in the room with us.

So yes.

Was the publicist in the room with us?

She was not, okay?

What?

Yeah.

The publicist that came with Cody Rigsby was a man.

I don't know his name.

He was a lovely fella.

I'm sure he works at the same PR agency as Pia.

So Pia was not here.

I never met Pia.

I don't really even know Cody's male publicist.

I couldn't even tell you his name.

He was so lost.

You just like saw him in the room.

Yeah, and he brought a few people with him.

He was in the room with us.

He was in the room with us.

He brought his assistant, who was a toaster, a lovely gal, and this male publicist.

I never met Pia.

I do not know Pia.

I stand by all of those statements, and we were not covering up for Pia.

You guys, I have to tell you, we've been covering for Pia.

I personally was covering for Pia because Pia doesn't like Taylor.

You guys are right.

And

she didn't think anyone would see her Instagram story because that's how it works, right?

You never would see that.

And so she posted it to her public account.

Some of the thick-headed people who might hear this.

She posted it to her public account thinking no one would ever see it.

Might not know that you're joking.

So all is that to say, there is no conspiracy, but I do love some of these conspiracy theories that come out about us because they really make us look so good.

Like, so important.

We are hunchknobbing and covering covering up for you know the elite i love it yeah yeah like this whole pr relationship is gonna fall through if the toast like puts it on blast because we're powerful jax i don't you forget it i agree a conspiracy like that shines a nice light on us usually the conspiracy about us like give us a lot more credit yeah than we have they're like they did this because of this i'm like Girl, we just like woke up and talked about ourselves, but okay.

No, it's so true.

We just woke up and talked.

they think we're like masterminds they think we're so like powerful back channeling maybe because we're jews

oh my god yes anti-semitism it's like oh they definitely you know met pia i don't even know if pia is jewish they met pia at the weekly jew meeting underground no it's like you know we just have this cabal that we're involved in oh my god it's just that like we're controlling the media jackie it's giving anti-semitism i love that

it is

Yeah.

The Almighty Jews and their big podcast.

And their big podcast.

That's a great title.

The Almighty Jews and their big podcast.

You know, it goes against my internal policy because it's a little too long, but today I will allow it.

When it's a really good title, I make Turdi make space on her curds for the long title.

When the podcast episodes are so long, like when you're searching the podcast store.

Sorry.

Yeah, no, the long episodes are good.

When the titles are so long, not only does it like look so bad on my Photoshop graphics that we post every day on Instagram stories, and but it also like when you're scrolling through the podcast app you can't read that whole thing so you're just like not compelled to watch it we always try and have like a really catchy no it's it's more so about the photoshop curd because you could read that that title's not too long that you wouldn't be able to the only thing that would be cut off is like the date which is fine yeah so i just i'm very particular about podcast titles but this one the almighty jews and their big podcast is so good

So good.

And I will allow it.

Speaking of big podcasts, I'm on a couple other podcasts this week.

You are.

If If you are looking for your girl, yeah, I'm on Dr.

Fox's podcast.

You guys know Dr.

Fox, king of the surclage.

He was my doctor throughout this pregnancy, who saved my pregnancy.

And he has a podcast for women's health.

So I did two episodes with him.

The first one came out yesterday, and it's all about me and my story.

You know, like, he didn't know I was a canceled person.

Like,

yeah.

So I was like just telling our story.

There's a score of people who walk this earth.

And you know what's so funny is like, I was thinking this the other day, I think because I was listening to Reputation Era and this just happens all the time.

We always talk about this.

Like, when somebody gets canceled, it is the biggest deal in the world for about an hour.

It is, depending on how bad it is, ours was like really like three, four days.

Yeah, nothing else would happen in the world until I think it was like the Oscars that weekend.

No, I know who it was.

And even though he was canceled for doing something bad, I will always think of him fondly because he finally cycled us out of the new cycle.

Who?

Mario Batale.

Inappropriate like workplace behavior at his restaurants.

Yeah.

I was just, I was grateful for the distraction.

I didn't know that we crossed paths on the cancellation timeline.

We did on the trail.

But I was thinking about this the other day because, like, remember in that whole Taylor Swift video, like, it was so crazy.

Like, yeah.

Literally, who cares?

Like, it was so dumb.

And I was thinking, like, I can't believe she just, she took all that time off.

And then this big album.

And it was like, what was the crime she was canceled for?

And it was like, this stupid video.

Like, who fucking cares?

And that happens all the time like in hindsight you realize how stupid it was and i feel like for us i had the same experience like now i look back on it and i'm like oh my god like really our tweets like get a grip yeah

but in that moment i was like i should go to jail like for life that's how people really made me feel i was like i am the worst person like seriously i should be i should be shot yeah that's how i felt

and it's by the way it's so consistent like that really because you know who I'm feeling that with?

Like, because she's been really slowly, I think very strategically, like making a comeback is Lizzo.

Huh.

And I'm like, wait, what was it again?

Like, it's just, no matter what happens, like, that's the cycle.

Unless you do something like hella illegal.

Like, Chris Brown, like, goodbye forever.

Like, but I'm talking about like, you know, acting inappropriate or like.

Nothing criminal.

Well, the acting inappropriate, it's like, we always say like saying things and doing things.

So the acting inappropriate is more of a doing.

Yes.

And,

But a lot of these like thought crimes,

it's just like so crazy in hindsight.

And the Lizzo stuff was like on the sexual assault allegations spectrum.

Spectrum.

It was on the spectrum.

I think it's like up for debate as to if what she did is like a crime.

Yeah, well, they're just sweeter.

Well, they're sweet.

So, but she's like been posting on TikTok.

She's been posting like random things on TikTok.

I think she's, you know, slowly climbing her way out of it.

Yeah, I saw like people were writing up her Halloween costume.

Right.

It's like, oh, so we're just casually engaging with Lizzo again.

Yeah, yeah, and that happens sometimes.

I feel like, you know, who's been really interesting?

Ansel Elgort.

Okay.

Because Ansel Elgort was like fully accused of rape.

And then like a year later, nobody cared.

Ralph Lauren, Face of Ralph Lauren, Westside Story, you went to the Oscars.

I don't think it's fair to say nobody cared because I feel like his name is tarnished.

Well, so Westside Story didn't even get like press because he was in it.

Yeah, that's I don't think nobody cared.

No, no, I felt like there he took time off and then came back and like there wasn't as much of conversation about it as there should have been.

But now I feel like he's really like done.

Why now done?

No, nothing.

I just feel like he tried for the comeback and like maybe it didn't work because now I feel like I've like laid him to rest.

Here lies Ansel.

Right.

Rip.

Here lies Shannon.

Like I think,

I think it's having like a resurgence.

Like, I think we're done with him.

I haven't seen him around.

Right.

I haven't seen him.

But there was like a moment in time where he was like back hobnobbing with celebs.

He was trying to.

Right.

Yeah.

So just interesting.

Yeah, it is.

It's always, you know, we could wax poetic about cancel culture.

the variations

of scale of which you know who's like the current can the cancellation of the week, which like it's just reading so off to me.

Who?

Ramona.

Oh, really?

Yeah, she's like, you know, she was out of BravoCon.

She got fired from her Douglas Elliott job.

Dorinda's saying, you know, speaking out against like that she used a slur in this, in this message to the Page Six reporter, but like we read the message.

She did not use a slur.

Yeah, no, she definitely wasn't as, you know, buttoned up and PC as everyone would like her to be, but she wasn't, you know, she was trying to reference something and she's like an older person and like when she texted she didn't use the word right right right no and I think the word is so bad but there's definitely a difference between using the slur you know

what's the word I'm looking for

intention like targeted targeting like a person of color versus trying to reference versus speaking about the word but even though she was speaking about the word she didn't even say the word while she was speaking about the word no and Andy was actually asked about it quite a bit at BraboCon like his ask Andy panel and then on the carpet And he clearly had a memorized two lines about it because he kept saying, I think we made the right call.

But if it was the right call, then it should have been the right call when she said it.

She said it.

When it happened.

And I just feel like she's like taking, she's falling on the sword for that whole article.

And it just.

Why now?

Why Ramona now after like 10 years or more than 10 years of bad behavior now?

No, it's true.

There was like very little fallout from that Vanity Fair article when it came to like executives and people

at the production companies who like made this sort of environment.

It's all on Ramona.

That's true.

Yeah.

It's just, it's odd.

It is odd.

I also feel like you can't keep a Ramona singer down.

Yeah.

I feel like every couple of years, there's like this.

There was

a really bad period.

I don't even remember what she had done, but I just remember it was bad.

It was after Black Shabbat.

Oh,

because that was bad.

That was bad.

That was really bad.

That was bad.

I feel like that story that she was telling about like being picked on was referenced in Vanity Fair again.

Yes, that she got called a Shiksa.

Yeah, yeah, she was telling it again.

And I just want to say, as a Jewess, I don't think there's a greater honor than being called a Shiksa because being called a Shiksa like means you're beautiful.

Yeah.

A Shiksa goddess.

Like a Shiksa is a Yiddish word for just like a non-Jewish woman.

But what you wouldn't say about an ugly woman.

No, you when you reference it, it's like, oh, this shiksa.

Like, it's like, oh, this beautiful

temptress of the non-Jewish faith.

Like, yeah, it's it really is.

No one's ever gonna call me a shiksa, not even because I'm not no, it's like you, it's just a vibe, it's a vibe, and it's a pipe, and it's and it's a beautiful, positive vibe.

Yeah, it's a beautiful, positive vibe.

That's your Yiddish lesson for the day.

Yeah,

shiksa, not a bad word.

No,

no,

so here we are.

How do we get out?

I think we have to say, I know.

Dr.

Fox

podcast.

Oh, I had to, he didn't know I was a canceled person.

Yeah.

So the first episode that dropped yesterday was all about me.

It was perfect episode to drop on my birthday.

Like, here's a little bio about your girl.

And then next week, my second episode drops and it's all about my pregnancy.

Right.

So from Dr.

Fox's point of view, because he was like, don't you want to know what I thought of you?

Like, how you were handling it?

Did he call the episode between the legs?

No, he said, what does a fox say?

Is that in his head?

No, I don't know what it's called.

It didn't come out yet, but he could

call his podcast Betwixt the Legs.

Yeah, no, because that's like his POV.

You know, because he was saying on our podcast, because we're constantly pod swapping with our doctors, he was saying that his name of his podcast stinks because it's a mouthful, The Healthful Woman.

I just want to say, love Dr.

Fox.

Would lay my life out on the line for him.

It's one of the worst names for a podcast of all time.

I like it.

I feel like it sums up what his podcast is about.

It's about healthfulness in women.

It's a lot of

pregnancy stuff, but just a lot of different conditions in general with a lot of different doctors and experts.

And it's a great resource for women.

It was what I listened to on the plane to New York when I was going to get my first surclage.

I listened to his episode about surclages so I could like have a modicum of understanding of what was going to be happening to me.

He should have called it the quiet woman.

Oh, no.

I think he should have, he should call it, what does the pop fox fox say?

What does the fox wait pop fox?

No, no, I misspoke.

Okay, well

what does the fox say?

I completely agree.

I'll text him.

Yeah, let him know.

What does the fox say?

So should we?

Yeah, I think that we should.

I have a really busy day ahead of me and we've circled the drain enough here.

Yep.

So without further ado, to do

about the podcast that I'm on this week, here are the fast Fast Five Stories that you need to know.

And the Fast Five Stories that you need to know were brought to you by Blue Nile.

I have never heard anyone complain about receiving jewelry as a gift, but it can be tricky to get it right.

And when you're investing in a piece for yourself or for anyone else, you want to make sure that everything about it is absolutely perfect.

That's why I want to share what makes us feel the best about a jewelry purchase.

And that's sourcing it from BlueNile.com.

Blue Nile offers thousands of independently graded diamonds and fine jewelry at prices significantly below traditional retail.

Whether you're looking for a bit of sparkle for yourself or a gift for someone special, Blue Nile offers peace of mind with every purchase with some of the highest quality standards in the industry.

You can design your own earrings for something custom and fresh or check out their necklaces for a timeless essential.

I have a pair of really beautiful, like multicolored hoops from Blue Nile.

They're just, you could tell they're made really well.

They're beautiful.

They were so fun and easy to shop for.

Blue Nile is just a great, really reputable website.

When spending a lot of money on something and you want to invest in something you're going to have forever, like you can't go just anywhere.

You got to go to Blue Nile.

And what I love about Blue Nile, by the way, is that they have 30-day return periods, service and repair for life, discrete packaging.

So if you're getting it as a gift, like they'll never know when it shows up at the door.

They're ethically sourced diamond

source diamonds.

They have a page on their website about how they source their diamonds, which is fabulous.

So you can have peace of mind.

So if you have any questions, their jewelry experts are on hand 24/7 via phone or chat.

Experience the ease and convenience of shopping Blue Nile today at blueenile.com.

That's blue N-I-L-E.com.

B-L-U-E-N-I-L-E.com.

Beautiful Beautiful jewelry, timeless essentials, ethically sourced, really made very well.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Honey Love.

This year, I'm thankful for Honey Love because there's nothing worse than suffering from an uncomfortable bra or shapewear.

Honey Love has revolutionized the bra and shapewear game, so say goodbye to uncomfortable underwire and bulky fabrics at Trap Heat.

Honey Love's bras feature supportive bonding that eliminates the need for underwire without sacrificing the lift.

Plus, they're made with fabric that's so soft that you won't want to take it off.

Their shapewear uses targeted compression with fabric so soft and technology you, so you no longer have to feel like you're suffocating while wearing effective shapewear.

Shapewear has been a staple in my life my entire life, but so has comfort.

And I have literally worn shapewear that has seriously almost put me in the hospital, like removing my organs.

And I found Honey Love on a Facebook ad like five years ago.

Some of my favorite shapewear and bras are from Honey Love.

I just trust them as a brand now.

Like I'll buy anything from them.

So visit honeylove.com forward slash toast to shop their November sale and let them know that we sent you when you take the survey.

So that feeling when you get home from taking, from a long day and immediately want to take your bra off, with Honey Love, we don't know that feeling because we're feeling comfortable.

We're chilling in our brassiers.

We're not feeling constricted.

We're feeling fabulous.

Going to a wedding, need to wear shapewear.

Don't worry.

You don't have to leave the party early, go to the bathroom, take off your shapewear and throw it in the garbage, which I have done literally a thousand times.

No, Honey Love is carrying you through the entire evening because you're feeling smooth.

You're feeling snatched, but you're also feeling comfortable.

So treat yourself to the best bras and shapewear on the market and save up to 50% off-site-wide at honeylove.com slash toast this month only.

Inventory is limited and the sale ends soon, so don't miss their best deals of the year.

After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about Honey Love.

Please support our show and tell them we sent you.

It's time to ditch the underwire for good, thanks to Honey Love.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Stamps.com.

It's been a minute since we talked about stamps.com and the holiday season is rearing its ugly head.

So did you forget to add stamps.com to your holiday wish list this year?

We all make mistakes.

Shady.

The holidays are hard enough.

Make things easier with stamps.com.

Stamps.com has been helping businesses like yours save time and money during the holiday rush for 25 years with easy access to USPS and UPS services and premium rates for all your postage needs.

So it's your own personal post office wherever you are.

With Stamps.com, all you need is a computer and a printer.

They even send you a free scale so you'll have everything you need to get started.

Now taking care of orders on the go is even easier with stamps.com and the mobile app.

If you need a package pickup, you can easily schedule it through the dashboard.

And if you sell products online, stamps.com seamlessly connects with every major marketplace and shopping cart.

You're getting premium discounts and supplies at your fingertips with Stamps.com.

So if you're running low, you can order shipping and mailing supplies, labels, even printers from their supply store.

You're also getting huge carrier discounts up to 84% off UPS and USPS rates to help your bottom line.

Plus, they automatically are just telling you the cheapest and fastest options for shipping.

For 25 years, stamps.com has been an indispensable resource for over a million businesses.

So give your business the gift of stamps.com so your mailing and shipping is covered this holiday season.

Sign up with promo code Toast.

for a special offer that includes a four-week trial, plus free postage, and a digital scale.

There are no long-term commitments or contracts.

Just go to stamps.com, click the microphone at the top of the page, and enter code toast.

That's T-O-A-S-T at stamps.com.

Thank you, Lecter DeLou.

You're welcome, Jacqueline Folet.

First story.

Megan Fox dives into complicated relationships in a raw new book of poems.

Poems that she's released.

Poems.

Poems.

So Megan Fox has released a book of poems called Pretty Boys Are Poisonous, and it is her first book.

It debuts today.

And it's taking inspiration from her own life as well as her imagination.

She said, quote, it comes from a lot of places.

Some of it is literal, while other parts are allegorical.

Some poems contain a Grimm's fairy tale type element, and others serve the same purpose as memes in online culture.

All of it is something women can relate to.

She said she turned to writing her whole life after finding an outlet that her performing career never provided.

She said, acting doesn't really allow me to express myself fully.

in the way writing does because I'm reading someone else's words under someone else's direction.

Poetry gives me a space to experience some catharsis through art.

Pretty Boys Are Poisonous explores toxic dynamics, among other topics.

As she explains, relationships are complicated.

This is so awesome.

Yeah, would you like to hear a poem?

Okay.

It's called A Beautiful Boy is a Deadly Drug.

This is like so,

you know, like, I'm so not into this vibe.

I feel like it's very, you know,

MGK and Megan.

It's very like Courtney and Travis, like the drinking of the blood, the licking of the tongues.

It's very rocker.

It's very punk.

It's so not me.

I'm so uninterested, but please, yes, read the poem.

But it's weird to me because I feel like it can't really be that much about MGK because, like, she's still with him.

So if he's poisonous.

No, I'm not saying the poems are about him.

I'm saying that aesthetic that like they have together, you know, blood on fire, wolf, blood-packed, you know, like

twin flames.

Yeah.

A Beautiful Boy is a Deadly Drug by Megan Fox.

You are an addiction that no amount of prayers will ever cure.

My cries for relief floating unheard into the ether.

You are killing me, but my heart won't give you up.

This thread through our past lives tightly wound around my neck, siphoning my breath to fill your lungs.

My hands are bleeding from trying to free myself.

You offer me a smile, content to steal my life, knowing at least this way, no one else will ever have me.

So it seems as though the poems don't rhyme.

And for me, that's a huge poetry faux pas.

And I think I know why you chose this story because you absolutely have to share the poem you received yesterday.

Oh,

such a great segue and a positive turn for this story.

Yeah.

Because Dana, my best friend Dana, you guys know her, love her.

She's a redhead.

She writes me a poem for my birthday every year.

And it's like a really cute thing.

I think she's been doing it

maybe since the year we met.

Does she still post it on your Facebook wall?

She only posts it on my Facebook wall.

She hasn't posted anywhere else.

Literally, it did not get one like yesterday because I have six Facebook friends.

Actually, no, Claudia and I share consistency and like the nod to you know Facebook memorabilia.

Yeah, but it needs to be seen and it needs to be heard.

So we have to share it.

So I told her like I was going to post it to my Instagram because like it's so amazing.

The world should see it.

So here's the poem Dana wrote for my birthday.

She writes it every year and it's about my year.

Here we are.

Here, how are we here another year?

Oh my god.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Excuse me, Turdy Lowe.

Starting again.

Sorry, right now.

How are we here?

Another year round the sun?

You know the drill, Jackie O turns 31.

2023 started strong, the party full of cheer at the clubhouse in Florida, lit on New Year's.

Days filled with Mickey Mouse in the sunshine state, redheads going strong because it's never too late.

You got your license, the Tesla you were driving, podcaster and mom, some might call it thriving.

Then came Passover, but instead of 10 plagues, you got a short cervix.

Diagnosis was vague.

Celebrity Ben Soffer hooked up a private plane.

No return flight in sight.

This chapter was insane.

But the bonus time with you was such a blessing.

Harry hangs and Smith lunches.

Things were progressing.

Then along came Charlie, the greatest gift of all.

Against all odds, that nine-pound baby was not small.

No, it was not.

Now you're a mom of two and a famous writer.

The camper or the counselor.

Snitch, choose your fighter.

The only thing I want more than your beef stew is to watch lessons in chemistry and cuddle with brew.

Obsessed.

Obsessed.

She should write a book of poems.

Now that's a poem.

Now that's a poem.

I feel about poetry the same way I feel about children's book.

If it ain't rhyming, I'm buying.

But we've also said poetry is incredibly personal.

So I think to Megan Fox, like this is very personal.

And I wish her all of the luck in the world.

And it's clear, clear, you know, she's put her heart and soul and her feelings into this book of poems.

And you know what?

I like a celebrity doing new things.

We don't often get the most beautiful woman in the world writing a book of poems.

Yeah.

She could have written a book of short stories.

We get that a lot.

We do.

I happen to love a book of short stories.

If the stories are good.

And by the way, they have to be funny.

I don't know why I don't want to read a short story that's not funny.

Oh, I didn't know people wrote books of short stories that weren't hysterical.

Like that's the only shit I read.

That's the only shit you read.

But like, no, you could could have any kind of short story.

Tragic.

No, not interested.

The best book of short stories is Gary Giannetti, like hands down.

Tom Segura.

You know what?

I actually was like halfway through Tom Segura.

It's one of those books that I

just leave downloaded on my Kindle for like when I'm on an airplane and I'm running, like I don't have a book to read.

I didn't feel so compelled to finish it like in one sitting, but it's nice to always be like paging through.

But I also like, I don't know Tom Segura.

Like I don't follow him.

I don't listen to his podcast.

Like I know him as a, he's like a famous famous comedian, but, like, I know Gary Giannetti.

Like, I follow him and I know his husband and I know his life.

And, and so there's, like, a connection there.

Yeah.

But I imagine if you're like a really big Tom Segura fan, it's like the best book.

I didn't know him really, except I knew his wife from her Netflix special.

I didn't really know him other than like a podcaster, Two Bears, One Cave.

But that was like enough for me to read his book and appreciate it.

And I learned a lot

about him.

It's very funny.

Also, a book of short stories that I read.

I think it's called New Teeth, and it's a book of short stories about parenthood.

So if you're a new parent, I would recommend that.

It was really funny.

I keep trying to get you to read you.

I keep trying to get you to read this one short story from the book.

I gave up.

I've literally never heard you mentioned it.

It's about Beauty and the Beast.

Oh, that does sound familiar.

Yeah, it was really funny.

I feel like that meme, you know, that meme of like when someone's trying to convince their friends to watch Friends, and it's like, come on, bro, it's so funny.

They picked up a couch and yelled Pivot.

It's so funny.

It is funny.

Pivot, it's funny.

Come on, man.

I'll read that short story for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll send it your way.

Actually, I can't send it your way.

I need to like trap you in a room with my Kindle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, congrats, Megan Masotov.

Congrats, Dana, on the best poem ever.

Yeah.

We'll see what she's got in store for us next year.

You're right.

Poetry is so personal.

Yeah, but that's like my vibe is like Dana's poetry.

Me too.

And the Cameron and Counselor.

That's poetry.

I also love a haiku.

Cameron Counselor is poetry.

100%.

Am I a poet?

The iambic pentameter is there, so.

Am I a poet?

And you didn't even know it.

And I didn't even know it.

Are you ready for our next story?

I really am.

Sabrina Carpenter is in some trouble with the Brooklyn Catholic Church.

Yeah, did you see the story?

I did.

A Brooklyn Catholic Church is forced to re-bless its altar after pop singer Sabrina Carpenter filmed a racy music video at the century-old site.

A New York bishop has taken action against a parish that allowed pop star Sabrina Carpenter to shoot a controversial music video in a century-old Brooklyn church.

Last week, Brooklyn bishop Father Robert Brennan criticized her video for her song Feather, which was filmed at the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary Church.

In the video, she wears exclusively racy outfits and watches several as she watches several men who wronged her die.

At one point, she struts into the church to attend a funeral for the dead men, where she moves through a number of pastel coffins, one of which includes the inscription, Rip, bitch.

The local bishop was horrified by the contents of the video and made known his displeasure with the local parish that failed to prevent its filming.

His statement read, the parish did not follow

diocesan policy regarding the filming on church property, which includes a review of the scenes and script.

The parish first claimed that the production company failed to accurately represent the video content, but an investigation found that the documents given to the parish provided sufficient description of inappropriate behavior unsuitable for a church sanctuary.

Due to the lack of...

I'm less interested in

the public.

Yeah, no.

Like, I'm less interested in who to blame and more so just like

I...

I hate to sound like such a grandma, and I'm not even like a church goer, but like, I would, like, if somebody did this in a shoal, like, I would be horrified.

Like, some things are sacred and i like i i love a racy music video like go for it but i think like if she had done this like on a set that looked like a church like i still think it would be disrespectful it's so much worse that this is like a centuries old facility yeah and you know what like

i like i hate to be like such like a like a i i feel like a like a knock no no what's who are the like Who are the people who are always protesting like West, like

Westboro Baptist Church?

I hate to sound like a protester protester from the Westboro Baptist Church but like maybe like let's like stop being like you know like racy and doing everything like Christian like religious like this it's disrespectful to the community but I also think it's disrespectful to like

good Christians to say that it's a take that only the Westboro Baptist Church might have that that's fair like I think a lot of people would feel this way and this like happens a bunch you know Megan Fox aforementioned Megan Fox is constantly desecrating religions um

yeah i think there's two things one can it can it stop being like cool to like literally dance on graves and

be sacrilegious?

Two though.

At first I saw that the church said they kind of duped us and didn't tell us what the music video was going to be.

And I was like, oh, that's shady.

You're like coming into their place of worship and under false pretenses.

But they put forth documents saying like, hey, rip bitch.

Like, yeah, no, by the way, these are going to get crazy.

It's also on the church.

They are ahead of a centuries-old church.

It's not like Sabrina's prerogative to make sure that the church is looked at in the best light.

So I think it's twofold here.

And like the church should have read through the documents.

Like you don't want people like dancing on the altar, then say no.

No, of course.

Like if we had to find blame, like the production company in Sabrina didn't do anything wrong in terms of like logistics and clearance.

But it's like this larger conversation about like how

religion is becoming like an aesthetic

and more often than not like it's disrespectful and it's like racy yeah but I feel like okay when you say it's like an aesthetic it also kind of reminds me of like Courtney's wedding there was a lot of

like Catholic imagery and some people were offended by that oh were they like that I don't like the there was a wedding yeah and also to me that's like respect like they have the utmost respect for it like the Virgin Mary was on her veil yeah what's wrong with that I don't know I think people weren't into it which they're not racing it's a wedding I feel like a wedding is where you put like all of your religious

energy.

Yeah.

I'm just saying, like, that's one,

like, so where it says an aesthetic, I don't think it's always necessarily a negative thing.

If it's like done by people who have respect for their religion and are probably practicing that religion.

Right.

But when it's done like this, it's, it's wrong.

Yeah, no, because I just think like if they were in a synagogue and there were like rabbis and stuff and like you're in a racy dress like I would be horrified horrified.

So like I have to put myself in someone else's shoes.

And like, I don't think it's cool.

And I think like the community, if there's outrage, like, you know what?

I understand it.

It's just not necessary.

And furthermore, if she really felt like this was the vibe for her music video and she couldn't, you know, go in another direction, she should have made a set of a church instead of actually like desecrating a historical landmark.

I am in agreement.

All is that to say, nobody on the planet is making better music than Sabrina Carpenter right now.

I feel like a feather when you have, like, so good.

Yeah, that's the song for the music.

Yeah, no, I know.

And then, of course, he's the one of you not talking nonsense.

Obsessed.

Love the music.

I just think the direction could have been different.

Yeah, I think it's easy to get carried away.

I think in Hollywood, there's not a lot of boundaries for anything, and you don't have people around you who are like, hey, yikes.

Not our best idea.

We're not going to like be canceled and ever work again for this, but it's a little tasteless yeah yeah i agree this isn't like a criminal offense but it's just like mer however other argument like maybe they want to push the envelope some people want to push the envelope right they want to get the diocese involved yeah and maybe it's like a larger statement on religion i don't think that's what's going on here yeah but there are people who like you know they wade into this sort of controversy and they're like yeah ha think about it right

yeah they're trying to make you think yeah i don't think that's what sabrina was doing i think she was just trying to like trash her exes and

the wrong venue.

Yeah.

Also, we don't know how much involvement she had in the, you know, location scouting.

For sure, but like you're up there dancing on the altar.

No, no, it doesn't.

It doesn't feel funny.

You walk into like this ancient church with all this, you know, stained glass window and you're in like a bikini.

I would feel weird.

But maybe I'm different.

But you never know.

Maybe the record label, she just doesn't feel empowered to speak out.

Like all this money has been spent on the...

That's actually also a definite possibility.

She's up there dancing in her undies on the altar and she's feeling bad.

Yeah, we don't know what she's going through at this time.

No, we don't.

So important to think about all possibilities here.

Agreed.

Agreed.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

A little fashion news.

Because the CFDA awards.

Wait, was this third or fourth?

Third.

Don't worry.

I know that before the fourth.

you have something that you need to start to expel myself

yeah

our third story before turtle expels herself the cfda awards were last night that oh yeah like i don't remember a time where like the cfda awards were like maybe it's because with sag like there's so little going on but i felt like it was like an especially fabulous like attention seeking evening i feel that way as well i also think maybe it's because it's in new york i feel like in the past it's like in la or something really i feel like it's actually like such a classic New York plant.

You know what?

There's a really great search engine where we can.

Oh, what's it called?

It's called google.com.

Oh, wait, 2000.

Oh, Google Agle.

Michael Google.

Hi, Jackie.

I think you're confusing it with LACMA, which also was this week.

I'm certainly confusing it with LACMA.

That's for damn sure.

LACMA,

which is,

I want to say the LA Country Music Awards.

No, it's the Los Angeles

Community of Arts.

Okay, yeah, last year it was at Casa Chipriani.

Yeah, it's a New York affair.

You're confusing it with LACMA.

I am confusing it with LACMA.

I can accept that.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

And the year before it was at the Pool and Grill.

Okay, I stand corrected.

Anyways, CNTA Awards last night, the Oscars of Fashion, the stars came out in full force.

Ann Hathaway hosted.

Serena Williams won an award, as did.

She looked fabulous.

Everyone really looked quite lovely.

Yeah, it's like a clown-free event.

Like, I feel like sometimes people show up places like trying to,

like the Grammys or the Oscars, like trying to make a statement, do the most, get attention.

And I feel like a lot of times they end up just, you look like clowns.

But CFDA is like really high fashion.

Like

no one's messing around.

Yeah, it's a clown-free event.

Even the Met Gala gets a little clown.

I was just going to say that.

Because it's a costume.

Because it's like a themed costume gala.

Let's not forget.

Right.

So Kim was there, Anne Hathaway, Gwyneth Paltros, Rena Williams, Demi Moore, Vanessa Hudgens.

She's a funny one because she's always at the high-class events.

She really sneaks in there.

She's got a great publicist, I have to imagine.

She's just like, oh, I'm going to snag an invitation for my girl, Vanessa.

Yeah.

I don't know like what strategy like got her there, but I admire it deeply.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Go Vanessa.

Another cancellation that seemed like a big deal.

It's so true.

Question mark?

Exclamation point.

So yeah, everyone looked nice.

Wait.

So there was a few honorable mentions, I want to say.

Morgan Stewart was there.

She looked just radiant.

I think one of my best dressed is Serena Williams.

She looked fabulous.

Gwyneth Poucher got an award.

We love goop fashion.

And

what was the last?

Oh, you love to see influencers out here shaking their thing.

Danielle Bernstein was invited to her first award.

She went with an Israeli designer, made like a big statement about bringing the hostages home.

Slay.

She looked great.

Slay.

Slay.

So it's a good night for fashion.

Yeah, no, that's like a fabulous event.

Like, I wouldn't mind being invited to.

Like, I know, literally, look at my outfit.

I'm wearing leggings and socks.

Like,

it's not a possibility, but I feel like that's actually like a really cool event.

Like, I feel like a lot of events look cool and they're like not fun or there's really not a lot going on.

I feel like that's an event because we don't really see a lot that actually is like fun.

You think fun?

Yeah.

I don't know about fun, but definitely like cool, prestigious, not a bunch of losers in sight.

Right, right.

Hard to get an invite.

Not a loser in sight.

I haven't looked at all the red carpet.

Looks just like the high, the, you know, the biggest name.

Highlights.

I liked Anne Hathaway's look, too.

I thought she looked really nice.

Yeah, no, it was a high-class affair.

Yeah.

So I hope everyone had a good time and drank awesome shooters and listened to awesome music and soaked up each other's awesomeness.

That's that's like what one can only hope for, you know?

For any affair.

For any affair.

Are you ready for our next story?

Is it the next story that's brought to you by Jenny Kane?

It is.

Perfect timing because winter is right around the corner and our wardrobes definitely needed a refresh.

Jenny Kane is a California brand through and through and their staples make getting dressed easier than it's ever been before.

Think minimalist and effortless, but totally refined.

From luxurious cashmere sweaters and iconic accessories to elevated versions of all of your everyday basics, not to mention the most incredible home essentials too, Jenny Kane is here to help you live your best holiday season yet and for a limited time our listeners get 15% off their first order when they go to jennykane.com and use code Toast for that 15% off.

I'm in my Seeing the Snow Before Christmas coastal grandmother, warm cashmere, light a candle, era, need a comfy pair of slippers.

Jenny Kane is the official sponsor of Seeing the Snow Before Christmas.

She is.

They are.

And I just want to say, I've been wearing this oatmeal sweater probably once a week on the toast.

I get so many questions about where it's from.

Jenny Kane and the oatmeal set I wore last weekend once a week on the toast.

Jenny Kane.

A lot of people wanted to know where Donna Kelsey's cashmere sweater was from.

Jenny Kane that Ben wore on the toast.

She, oh my God, I was like, she would wear Jenny Kane.

No, sorry.

Fauna Felsi.

Fauna Felsi, my fave.

This one, this season especially, sweaters are the it item.

And lately, we've just been obsessed with the cashmere sweaters from Jenny Kane, the Flynn Cashmere sweater.

It's the perfect wear anything V-neck.

The cashmere half zip, such a cool everyday staple.

They've really got everything from candles to home stuff to slippers to cashmere sweaters, whatever you need.

Give yourself and your loved ones the best gift of all, Jenny Kane.

Our listeners get 15% off your first order when you use code toast at jennykane.com.

That's 15% off at J-E-N-N-I-K-A-Y-N-E dot com, code toast.

Let getting dressed be the be one less thing to worry about.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Caraway.

The holidays are approaching, and you know what that means.

Awkward family discussions around the table.

Luckily, your beautiful Caraway pans are sure to be the topic of conversation.

Hosting the season just got easier with their square wear set.

From roasting your first ever turkey to making pancakes for 10 at brunch, they have got you covered at Caraway.

The internet famous kitchenware is a staple for any home.

It comes in a variety of modern shades to fit with any design aesthetic.

Their products are non-toxic kitchenware.

They feature a chemical-free ceramic coating so you can be prepared, food can be prepared with peace of mind that no hard to pronounce chemicals are leaching into your healthy ingredients.

And now introducing their stainless steel cookware set, their most popular product redesigned with stainless steel to make your take your meals to the next level.

So I obviously have a ton of Caraway products, but because I have such a bigger kitchen now, I just placed a huge order for their food storage sets.

I never had their bakeware before.

Like I've been thinking I want to start making muffins.

Like you need their muffin tin.

You need that tin.

I got it.

And also I love that tin.

You don't have to spray it.

I make ug bites in there all the time.

They just fall right out.

I also got

oven mitts.

Like I, now that I have space, I got so much more stuff.

I had the basics before, like the frying pan, the Dutch oven, the good stuff, but I got like a lot of extra stuff and I'm so excited about it.

And I got new colors.

They had this sort of, I think it was sage.

It was like a green.

I felt like that was very cool for my kitchen.

Oh, I love that for you.

I have the cream ones but i'm eyeing the pink collection visit carawayhome.com slash the toast to take advantage of this limited time offer for 10 off your next purchase this deal is exclusive for our listeners so visit carawayhome.com slash the toast or use code the toast at checkout caraway non-toxic cookware made modern thank you latcher you're welcome jacquis Our next story, a little romance news.

Chase Stokes says he cried the whole time during Kelsey Ballerini's first headlining show in her hometown.

I chose this story because we haven't spoken about these two in a while.

We haven't.

And we're due for an update.

So, Chase Stokes gave us one at the CFDA Fashion Awards Red Carpet.

He spoke to People Magazine and said what it was like seeing her perform in her hometown of Mascot, Tennessee.

He said, I'm still recouping my hearing from how loud it was for her to go back to her hometown and to sell out an arena like that stage.

It was the coolest thing.

I cried the whole time.

He then shared how special it was to see her accomplish her dreams in front of her family.

No, these two are just like quietly living.

Quietly going the distance.

Like this is not just like a rebound relationship anymore.

No, I think a lot of people thought maybe like you see the divorce.

It might have been like to start, but sometimes like you rebound with the one.

And now that enough time has passed, I can officially make this story about myself because I was with Kelsey Ballerini the night of or maybe the night before her first date with Chase.

And she was like, I'm actually going out with someone.

I'm like kind of nervous.

I'm like, who?

And she's like, you really can't tell anyone.

I'm like, oh, okay.

Chase Stokes.

I'm like, wait, obsessed.

Like, so not to like be sounding like I knew before everyone else

And then I had a text from her because we were texting after and I was like oh my god Let me know how the date goes and she was like yeah so excited like nervous like not to make everything about myself, but I was pretty much there and I'm like kind of the reason they're together.

I agree

So they should thank you for this

And I actually saw her recently at dinner and she was like, wait, like I haven't seen you since my first date with Chase.

And I'm like, yes.

So she remembers too that I was like an integral part.

Okay, good.

I'm glad it's a mutual.

It's not just.

Yeah, no, no, but

delusional.

I wouldn't say that.

She literally, I read into her at Polar Bar and she was like, by the way, like,

you were there.

Like, she said it.

She said it.

Okay.

She recognized you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's cool then.

You're part of the horse story of this company.

I'm part of the horse story.

Yeah.

And by the way, I just want to say like obsessed.

Like, I feel like they're not like annoying and they just like share their lives, but not in a way that's like, hey, look at me.

Yeah.

So they're like, they're not private per se, because they like share photos and they like take Instagram stories together and they take trips, but it's not in like an annoying, thirsty way.

I totally

think it's legit.

It's the perfect amount and they support each other.

Like he's going to her shows and crying.

And well, and that's like why everyone's obsessed because so much of the, what Kelsey shared about her divorce through her album and then when she went on the College Addy like was that there was the weirdness because like of her success and there wasn't like a huge amount of support and you know he didn't take the flight to come to the show.

And so the fact that Chase is at so many shows is actually impressive when he has like a career of his own.

Yeah.

I feel like his career with OBX is like seasonal.

You know, they film and then they go.

Right.

And that probably works for her.

Yeah.

And she, he like does like a lot of offline work, like not offline, online work.

Like he's like a brand ambassador for Armani.

And that's like work, you know, that you can do from anywhere.

Yeah.

He's an influencer.

He's doing it from the road.

Yeah.

So these two are going strong.

I feel like we're almost coming up on a year of we are probably like April.

No, January.

It was January because that's when I was there.

We were at a party and I saw her.

Okay.

Well, we'll keep you posted about these two.

I wonder if she wants to get married again soon.

Yeah, or if she's like scarred.

Yeah.

But I feel like once you go into it and like everything goes wrong, you can go into it again.

Like because you're equipped.

Right, right.

So you don't have to like write it off forever.

Right.

You just know like the paperwork.

Right.

And what you're looking for.

But they're also really young.

Like, I feel like I could see them dating for like three years.

He's 31 and she's 30.

If she hadn't been like married young, I would say like they're gonna get married.

But now I don't know how she feels about the institution, considering even before Morgan, like she wasn't really about it, right?

She said that on her podcast because she's like a child of divorce.

Yeah, and she's she's a child of divorce who's like, some people like their parents' divorce like really affects their love life and like their adult relationships.

And some people, I feel like it doesn't.

Like for me, it doesn't.

No, me neither.

Maybe it's because our dad dropped dead.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

A little more romance news.

I feel like this is like a story that came out of BravoCon that I didn't see until this morning, and not enough people are talking about.

So it's the final story.

I'm just feeling kind of like emotional about it, you know?

It's like the final story.

No, but it should make you feel good because it's the last story that we're going to do separate.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end, it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

But the next story that we discuss together, we will be together.

Think about it that way.

Are we going to hang out tonight?

Are you going to think you're going to be tired?

No, I think I'll be good.

Okay, cool.

Then the final story, BravoCon news, not enough people are talking about it.

Gulnessa from Shas of Sunset wants to date hot Mauricio Yumanski after his split from Kyle Richards.

Oh, wow.

Gigi from Shas of Sunset is interested in pursuing Mauricio Yumanski amid his separation from Kyle Richards.

She told us weekly at BravoCon, I wouldn't mind going on a date with Mauricio, just putting it out there.

Yeah, he's hot.

And to that, I say, get in line, bitch.

Okay.

For sure.

But like, that's so, I'm sure.

It's interesting to me when Bravo shows cross over, but it's not like housewives, housewives.

Like, I think of like Shas of Sunset with like Vanner Pump Rules, Southern Charm.

But like, no, Gigi could go for a former house husband.

No, by the way, it's so true because I think there's like a younger generation of Bravo shows, which includes like Summer House, Winter House, Shahs of Sunset, Southern Charm, Vanner Pump Rules.

But when you get down to brass tacks, some of those cast members are older than those Unreal Housewives.

Yeah, no, I just think of them as like the younger generation.

And then the housewives are obviously like the older, like OG, but that's literally not even true.

Like Shep is the same age as like some of the house husbands.

Yeah.

He just acts like a teenager.

That's why we think of him so young.

Yeah, but like Kyle Cook is older than Aaron Leachy.

Wow.

Wow.

And that puts things into perspective.

So Mauricio is 53 and Gigi's 41.

Age appropriate.

We stand.

Yeah, but he's like holding hands with his dancing partner and maybe getting back together with his wife.

No, by the way, another story that came out of BravoCon, Kyle like, was on the red carpet and just like accidentally said, and nobody caught it until after.

She just said like this divorce, like, she said D.

Damn.

D for damn.

And I have to say, I really do feel like Mauricia is dating his partner, even though they said, like, they weren't.

But like, I don't hold hands.

I barely hold hands like with my husband.

Like, it's a very intimate thing.

It's extremely intimate.

Yeah.

Cause like.

clammy.

So unless you're at like a really crowded protest and you need to like, you know, lock hands to get through.

Yeah.

There's really no reason when there's no one around you physically to be holding hands with another person of the opposite sex.

Yeah, I'm not a big hand holder.

I'm a like, I'm a linker.

I like to link elbows.

Oh, I'm not a linker.

I like that support.

Yeah, now that I think we do that more than hold hands.

Oh, you mean with your husband?

I thought you meant like with other people.

Oh, even with other people.

I feel like I'm always like walking and leaning on someone, you know?

I, I don't love holding hands, not because of the intimacy, like it's fucking annoying.

Like I need my hand.

It's also for me a hygiene thing.

I know that it is for you.

But I like a link.

Do you and Ben hold hands?

Well, that's what I'm thinking.

We do hold hands.

I don't love it.

I prefer like

to put my arm around his like waist.

Oh.

Interesting.

He he hates that.

He thinks it's hard to walk.

Yeah, that is hard.

You have to be like in lock step, like a couple synchronized swimmers.

I don't mind putting forth the extra effort, but my husband does.

It's like left, left, right,

left, right, left.

Yeah.

Yeah, I like a link.

So there's definitely something going on between the two of them.

And I can't lie, I don't hate, you know, Gulnessa and Mauricio, but I feel like Mauricio,

if and when he, you know, dates and the divorce is final, I don't think he'll be dipping his toe in the Bravo universe.

I don't feel like he's that type of house husband.

No, I don't think so either.

But as you like, to remind us, Shah's no longer on.

Right.

But there's still part of the Bravo universe, which I'd love to remind you of.

Which you love to remind me of.

So yeah, I guess he's with the partner.

Who do you think is the most eligible house husband?

Because Mauricio's definitely up.

No, any.

I have to like sit down with a list of them.

Probably someone from New Jersey.

Yeah, I was going to say, like, Evan Goldchend.

I mean, I think it's more personal.

It's so personal for me.

Obviously, like Evan Goldchand, Jewish king, like successful, has a job, obsessed.

Mauricio Yumanski, of course, Jewish.

So mine's very personal.

Yeah.

Evan Goldschneider, Frank Catania.

Yeah.

I think.

So for me, it's obviously about looks.

He's engaged.

He's engaged.

To Brittany.

Yeah.

Love.

Joe Benigno.

I mean, would lay my life out on the line.

Bill Aiden, even though he doesn't seem like the best husband to Jennifer.

No, he doesn't.

But he's rich and he's funny and cute.

So,

yeah, I don't know if I would go for Joe Warga.

Because there's really only room in my relationship for one star and it's me.

I agree.

It's not because I need to be a star, but it's just too much for me.

Like, I like a bit of quiet.

I like a peaceful environment.

Louis is going to be a big fat no.

Polly seems nice.

I know he seems nice, but I don't know him enough.

I agree.

Even though he was on my flight to Ravocon.

Jeff Fessler?

You know, he's not really on the show, but I did sit next to him at this dinner at Bravocon.

And he's really shy and like really sweet.

Yeah, so really most of the jerseys.

But he has a wife who's like the big personality, and he definitely like lets her shine.

And I love that in a man.

Yeah, that's like Joe Benigno, too.

Right.

Let's go through, like, Beverly Hills' husbands.

PK.

I like PK.

I like PK too, Jewish King.

I do feel like there's a little bit too much uncertainty in the finances for me to choose him.

Yeah, no, he wouldn't be, I don't know what my number one, but he would definitely be in the bucket of yes.

Like if I have a yes bucket or a no bucket, he would be in my bucket of yes.

I just, I don't know how long, like, we're, like, when is the axe gonna fall on the Kemsley finances?

Like, every year there's a story about them.

I just heard that he owed like $2 million to a casino.

Like.

Then there was the guy who apparently like attacked Dorit in the Bahamas for owing them money.

Like there are all these stories.

They never become a storyline and they never actually come to fruition.

Like she's still, you know, buying the clothes and living the life.

Like,

either it's all fake or something major has to happen.

I just feel like because it hasn't happened, it's not going to happen

because it would have happened.

She's been on the show for so long.

Like,

it's been public, like, their life has been public for a while.

I feel like something would have happened.

By the way, before the scandal, I would have put Tom Girardi in my bucket, like, supportive Rich King.

What we thought he was, what we thought we knew, yeah,

Ray Huger, yes, Bucket, a thousand percent.

Yes, Juan Dixon, no.

Correct.

Jamal Bryant, no.

No.

Michael Darby, no.

Chris Samuels, yes.

Oh, oh.

Chris Samuels is top two.

Yeah.

Because he's PJOM energy and he's so wealthy.

Chris Willie, Chris Samuels, yes.

What's Candace's husband's name?

Chris.

No.

He's a little too cool for school, you know?

Yeah.

Terry Dubrow.

Terry Dubrow.

1,000 per Terry Dubrow, top five.

Shane Simpson, top five.

He's deeply misunderstood.

He's deeply misunderstood.

They're so funny.

There are certain franchises that have like no husbands.

I know, like, Roni, regular, original.

Tom D'Agostino.

Let's go, Roni, new.

Abe, top three.

I only saw two episodes.

Who's a husband?

Oh, Povet, love.

He's in my yes bucket, but like, I wouldn't marry him.

He's just not my type, but like, he's PJOM.

Um, Sai's husband, I can't get a read on him.

He's really in the middle for me.

Uh, is that the only other husband?

Jenna, Abe,

yeah, I think that's it.

We could go to Miami.

Oh, we could go to Miami.

Complex dynamics.

At one point in time, Lenny Hawks would have been top of the list.

Now he's top of the no list.

He's the shit on my shoe.

I hate him.

Yeah.

Larsa's

OG husband would love.

And current boyfriend.

It's a little weird.

I know, but like he went to BravoCon with her.

They're so serious.

No, I think they have a podcast together.

They do.

Yeah.

Michael Jordan's son.

Yeah.

He's literally our age.

How would you feel if your father was marrying someone your age?

Alexia's new husband?

Yes.

Oh, Todd.

Yeah.

You know, he whipped that kid into shape.

He needed it.

Yeah.

He needed it.

Actually, love him.

Oh, Marisol is married, but he's Steve.

He's never on the show.

Steve's new.

We don't know him.

Yeah.

Gertie's husband seems great.

He's a firefighter.

Oh, obsessed.

Oh, other news out of BravoCon.

I feel like not enough people talk about Miami.

And actually, recently saw ratings for it.

It was in the 300,000.

So it's really not like a big franchise.

But Gertie was diagnosed with cancer and she's fully bald.

And at BravoCon, she announced that she's cancer-free.

Yay.

It was just a fabulous story that like no one's talking about.

Oh, that's great.

I'm sure it'll be on this season.

I don't know if this season has premiered yet, but also Martina has cancer too.

Oh, yes.

I guess I would consider Martina a housewife, husband, wife.

Partner.

A house partner, 1,000%.

In the yes bucket.

In the yes bucket.

She is a no-nonsense kind of gal.

Obsessed.

She's extremely wealthy.

And she lets Julia do whatever the fuck she wants with her.

And it's like obsessed.

But I do think that that's going to stop soon.

I feel like they were, I didn't finish last season, but they were having troubles because Julia was just kind of all over the place.

And Martina Martina deserves better.

Yeah, no, like you could let your spouse do whatever you want, like within reason.

And I feel like Julia was like toeing on the line of disrespect,

yeah, like with Adriana, and she was also being annoying, like she was always complaining, which is her worst crime, which is her worst crime.

Other franchises, Dallas has good husbands when it was on.

Oh my god, throwback.

Loved Stephanie Holman's husband, loved Court West Scott, good man,

good man, Deandra's Deandra's husband, top five.

Deandra's husband.

We love a military man.

Yep.

They had good husbands, you're right.

Yeah.

What other franchises?

Atlanta.

Atlanta.

Todd.

Greg.

Greg.

Rest in peace.

That's like such a crazy thing.

I know.

What other franchises are there?

I feel like there's like 10 more.

Oh, Salt Lake City.

Yeah.

I like Meredith Marks' husband.

He would go in my bucket, mostly because he's Jewish.

I like Lisa Barlow's husband.

Yeah.

I Heather Gate is not married.

Whitney's husband.

Now he's a funny egg.

He seems nice.

He's really supportive.

Yeah, I think he's going to go in my no bucket.

He's going to go in my middle with

that other guy from Roney.

And you know what?

There was a time where Coach Chaw would have been in my yes.

Yeah, but no.

He had a good head on his shoulders, but we didn't know what what lied beneath him.

We didn't know anything.

Yeah, that's a fun game to play.

I feel like, are there more franchises?

No, I feel like we hit them all.

Okay.

That's our show.

There's going to be like one that we completely forgot, and people are going to be like, no, we did OC, we did New York.

I'm just saying.

We did New Jersey, we did LA, we did Beverly Hills, we did Potomac, we did Atlanta, we did

it.

Yeah.

Dubai.

We don't watch.

Oh, yeah.

But that's like,

there's a bunch of international ones, but they don't all air on Bravo.

But, yeah.

No, Dubai is like the only sanctioned international one.

Yeah.

Because it's like on Peacock.

And they were at BravoCon.

They were at BravoCon.

All right.

That's our show, you guys.

Thank you so much for, oh, you know who else goes in my bucket?

Crystal Kongminkoff's husband.

Yes.

Very rich.

Very laid-back.

You know, he lets Crystal do what she wants.

She's redesigning the basement and spending a million dollars.

Like, Jewish king.

Yeah, and I think she like he wanted to spend more, right?

We love a man who can loosen the person.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She was tightening them.

Yeah, because she's, you know, a responsible queen.

Yeah.

No fun.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast of the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories he needs to do every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts and we're podcasts and we found out Spotify, Tune, Switch, or Public Radio, IRA radio cases, we'll talk to all the places we have listened to podcasts.

First of all, toast leave a five-star review about how beautiful standing and wickedly talented we are.

Make sure to give our big Jew podcast a nice big five-star review to show your support for the Jewish people right now.

Okay,

love ya.

Bye.

Love ya.

Bye.