Word Salad (Yummy Yummy): Friday, October 27th, 2023

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and

happy

Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on Friday.

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend, weekend, Friday, Friday.

Getting down on Friday.

Beautiful, per usual.

Per usual.

Wouldn't expect anything less from my swirly.

You look gorgeous.

Me?

No.

Yeah, I feel like you've been really wearing your hair up a lot and it's down and you're just looking gorgeous, radiant, Beyoncé.

Like.

I wear my hair up like two times a week, probably, because it's just this cycle of things.

Like today, I washed my hair last night, so I have fresh, blown-out hair by me today.

But yesterday and the day before it was like dirty hair, so it was making its way into a bun.

So Friday, fresh.

Usually I hold out.

I don't wash my hair till Friday night, which I could have gone one more day, but I wanted my hair done for the weekend.

And I know that if I wash it on a Friday night, I'm never going to do it this weekend, but I have to do it for the toast.

So now I have my hair done.

Yeah, I've recently discovered the underrated style of a flat iron.

Like, I feel like for so long I was doing the most, like, full blowouts, curling, like, no, flat iron, like, enough.

Yeah, I actually just started because now when I go to sleep with my hair wet, which I always do, it's still wet in the morning.

Yeah, of course.

But it's actually serving me because now I use my Dyson like a blow dryer and I'm able to achieve like a faux blowout.

A faux

which I wasn't able to achieve before.

She's over here achieving things, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm achieving my goals and my dreams.

And I just feel like you've just have like a list of achievements and you're checking them off.

Yeah, so I've achieved this nice hair Luke and

that's my story.

Yeah, so it's just like day two of me telling you you look beautiful and getting nothing in return.

Oh,

Can it be like that sometimes?

Because I'm always showering you with compliments, Law.

I don't know.

Two days ago.

I know it's a lot for you, but I'm always showering you with compliments, Law.

And I feel like if I just give you a compliment because you gave me one, phony, baloney.

Yeah, it's phony, but it's also just, you know, courteous.

Like, oh, you look nice too, turdy.

Phony balogna.

It's courtesy.

A courtesy, if you will.

Bologna.

Courtesy.

You look gorgeous.

Wow.

So sincere.

Thanks.

We have such a big show.

All the things we forgot/slash put off this week will happen today.

Do not let us end the show before.

It depends.

The Kurds dictate because, you know, we just got so off track.

Like, really yesterday, who the fuck needed Real Houses Beverly Hills recap?

Not I.

Not I.

We will attempt to get a Beverly Hills recap in for this episode and Dear Toasters from Wednesday.

Yeah, the stories, I guess I could breeze through them.

Like I could wax poetic breeze.

Or I could breeze.

I mean, we have

our

time constraints given to us by the Kurds.

We can't just go on forever.

Plus, we have to, like, upload the episode.

I just feel like

the sort of structural and, you know,

segmental boundaries put on us by ourselves, you know?

By the Kurds?

No, no, no, by like all these things we just have to do.

I think it definitely stunts creativity.

I disagree

about that.

I think it sometimes it might feel like it's stunting creativity, but the larger goal and the larger aim of those boundaries, like keep the show in check.

What boundaries are you talking about?

Fast five.

Oh, no, I wasn't talking about that.

I was talking about like TV recap and deer toasters.

I mean, we don't even do TV recap anymore.

This will be our first TV recap in like six months.

I feel like we're just like slowly talking ourselves out of doing the things we said we were going to do.

I mean, I'm really down.

Like, I

can we just

tabula rasa, you know?

No, no, I'm fine not recapping Beverly Hills, though.

I did wind up finishing it last night.

Like, it was bad.

I have, I really, like, I don't have anything to say.

Let's go really quick, okay?

Let's just do it now.

Yeah, like, first of all, I really don't have that many thoughts on Real House House and Beverly Hills.

My thoughts, and something I wanted to talk about was Watch What Happens Live.

Um, the guests were Kyle Yumanski and Kyle Umanski.

That was weird.

Yeah, like that would be the

Kyle Richards and Teddy Mellencamp.

Andy, like, grilled Kyle on Mauricio stuff.

And the takeaways were that she had just seen the photos of Mauricio and his dance partner holding hands.

She was really upset about it.

She had no idea.

She was the one who initiated the divorce.

So I don't know why she would be mad about him cozying up with his partner.

They're still living in the same house, separate bedrooms.

She took a guest bedroom and let him stay in their original bedroom.

But the real reason I wanted to talk about Watch Rapids Live is because Teddy Mellencamp was a guest.

And honestly, Andy Cohen just shouldn't have invited her because he fucking hates her.

Oh my God, I've never seen someone have like such obvious contempt for another human being.

Every time Teddy talked, and like Teddy was being a little cringe, she kept trying to have like moments and like say kind of like slay-worthy things, being like, I think Vicki should look at her hair before she does that.

Like just really kind of trying really hard, like pre-rehearsed.

I understand.

I understand.

And it was giving cringe, but like, my God, Andy, this person's on your show.

They're a guest of yours.

Like, be a little courteous.

Jackie, he was staring at her like she literally had like a swastika on on her forehead.

Like he just like hated her.

And I was like, this is so obvious.

My God, pretend a little bit.

I actually, I felt bad for Teddy.

Why did he invite her on the show?

I don't know.

That's weird.

And they did like a whole segment, like, Teddy, since you're now like a housewise podcaster, like, let's go around the franchises and get your takes on things.

And she, again, was giving like cringe, like.

pre-rehearsed, just cringy one-liners.

And Andy wouldn't even respond.

He just gave her like this grimace and then moved on to the next question.

I was so uncomfortable watching it.

Did anybody else have that takeaway?

I can't be the only person.

It was so obvious.

That's so funny.

I watched a little bit of Watch What Obs Live last night because Southern Charm was on, my fabe.

And interesting duo.

Who was it?

Kristen Stewart.

Oh, well, I saw this.

And who was the other guest?

Jana Kramer.

Yeah, I saw that too.

And I thought that the booker at Watch What Opens Live clearly made a mistake.

This was drunk.

Yeah, Kristen Stewart is the type of guest who would go one-on-one.

No, no.

Maybe she didn't want that, though.

She's, no, she wouldn't go one-on-one, especially I don't think like Andy is like a Twi Heart.

And I don't think she wants to spend the whole time talking about Twy Heart.

For herself, of course.

But to have, like, Jana and her.

She should have had like a housewife.

That would have been funny.

Like, or Shep.

But the few minutes that I watched, Jana and Kristen were really getting along.

Jana.

Like, Jana was so like enamored with Kristen.

And Kristen really appreciated it.

Like, it had a nice dynamic.

Jana was like, you're so sweet and you're so lovely.

And Kristen was like, wow, thank you.

Like,

an unlikely friendship.

Right.

That's what happens when, you know, a mixed bag.

Sometimes things can happen.

Also, Kristen Stewart, I don't know her, you know, personally.

And I don't have her figured out.

And I haven't really attempted to.

She's definitely a mystery.

But right.

She's an enigma.

But she's not the right guest for Watch What Happens Live because she takes like so much time to answer stuff.

And

there's a lot of like, you know, stuttering.

And that's

you know andy hates that like it's it's supposed to be rapid fire and she's like oh well you you know

and you can't be thoughtful or long-winded on watch what happens live you have 10 seconds to say your piece and that's it yeah it's so much so that i think that they give people the questions before just so that we can move things along yeah that's they should because there's so many time constraints and andy has no time for anybody She was being like super Bella, like, you know.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, well.

Starting, stopping.

And you just know Andy's like, we have to cut it to a commercial.

But

Edward's hat.

Yeah, she's like so stuttery.

So I don't know if that's like Kristen brought that to the role of Bella or Bella influenced Kristen.

Kristen brought that to the role of Bella.

It was too good of acting.

Yeah, and she does it in her personal life.

Was she licking her lips a lot?

Bella was always licking her lips and like biting her own lips.

Ooh, I didn't notice, but there was like a lot of hand movements, a lot of like, you know, crouched over sitting.

She's a very theatrical type of gal.

But I like, I liked her and I love Twilight.

And it was hard because you know that we just want to talk about Twilight the whole time, and you know, she's not about that.

No, and it's so crazy because she's the type of person who obviously got so famous off of this one franchise, but still has a myriad of accomplishments.

She's not just really known for doing one thing, but it's really like the only thing I want to talk about.

Yeah.

And I feel like, you know, some other people from franchises don't do much afterwards.

And even they don't want to talk about the franchise, but it's like, what else are we supposed to talk about?

Kristen Sewer, we can talk about a thousand things, but we really only want to talk about Twilight and our pats.

For sure.

What else can we talk about?

She was Diana.

She's like an accomplishment.

She's a face, Diana.

She's a face of Chanel.

Like, she's always doing movies.

Like, she has stuff.

Okay.

Okay.

She has stuff.

She's always in Venice.

That's true.

And she was in Snow White and the Huntsman.

Like, she's a booked and busy girly.

Yeah.

By the way, she's also another type, like, doing a Disney movie that is the opposite of what you stand for.

Like, she's so not Disney.

You mean Snow White and the Huntsman?

Yeah.

But that was like edgy.

Plus, I think she liked the director.

Yeah, I think they had a fling.

I think they flung.

They flung.

That was a good movie.

So then, Real Houses of Beverly Hills, I agree with you, really requires absolutely no recapping.

The big moments for me were the last two minutes with Kyla Mauricio, Dorit going brunette, which everyone seems to be clowning on.

And I actually really like it.

I miss her blonde hair.

And I guess Erica saying that thing about Dorit and PK at BravoCon and Darit being mad about it.

Rightfully mad.

That was shady.

But I also, I thought Erica actually gave

as good of an explanation as one could give.

Like, I'm a showman and I gave them a show.

I completely agree.

Like, it was shady.

And then when she explained it, like, she asked not to answer the question, but then she's on this stage.

People started booing her.

So she gave them something that people, you know, the Bravo fans, they're like, they're

feeding for drama.

So she gave them exactly what they wanted.

I kind of understood her response too.

I understand Darit not understanding it and still being mad and just wanting more of an apology, but this is really like a dumb conversation.

Yeah, I agree.

What was shocking to me is how fractured the group is.

I feel like for so long, it was like the franchise where they hung out all the time offseason.

You know, the Fab Five was going, always going to dinner, but it's like all of these women haven't seen each other since the reunion.

They literally needed an Eagle Woman to repair them.

Yeah, that was shocking too.

I think it's because that Fab Five included Lisa Rinna.

Lisa Rinna and Erica are so tight.

And a lot of the fight from last year was between Lisa Rinna and Kyle.

So I'm sure Erica took Lisa Rinna's side.

Kyle and Dorit are like beefing.

Are they beefing?

Yeah, like I'm watching what happens live.

They weren't beefing in the episode.

They had that conversation that was so weird about their relationships.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, and no, in the trailer, it's like Dorit gets mad that Kyle defends Sutton more or something.

Okay.

Also, where was Crystal?

Hashtag, where in the world is Crystal Kung Minkoff?

Was she on the retreat?

She wasn't even in the episode.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

And I didn't even notice it until somebody tweeted.

I'm like, oh my God, yeah, where was she?

Are you sure she wasn't on the retreat?

I'm positive.

I feel like she could have been there.

She was not.

Okay.

And then we had that weird scene with Garcelle and her sons that felt like so deeply intimate and beyond weird to be sharing on TV.

So weird to have like bring your sons on camera to tell you that you're a bad mom.

Yeah, and honestly, I'm sure Garcelle was a great mom.

Yeah, but why would she, okay, if she needs to have that conversation with her sons, like go and have a son?

Why do you want us to see that?

Like,

my heart was hurting.

No, I know.

I felt really bad for Garcelle.

I felt really bad for her.

And the son just like kept digging in.

Almost like he was told, like, beat me up on camera.

Like, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was very weird to me.

It was so personal.

Yeah.

I thought it was weird.

The last couple of minutes were very interesting.

It was the first time we've really seen like a very clear shift in Mauricio and Kyle's relationship, like their demeanor how they talk to each other strangers they're strangers there's so much tension like the tattoo thing is so stupid it is weird he didn't know how many tattoos she had yeah

and she's just like being like a completely different person even in her confessionals and even in her interviews like the way that she's talking like just the intonations and the speed at which she is just a different person it's very subdued She's like a personality transplant.

I completely agree.

But it's interesting because in the confessionals for the first episode it's clear that she's still um

maintaining like she hasn't admitted yet that like there's something wrong she's maintaining she's like you know marriage highs lows you know it's a bump so it's clear that maybe in the beginning they were going to try and like fix it and pretend and not put it on camera but it's so far gone it's so far gone so it wasn't like a great episode but we've got to start somewhere Yeah, oh,

something actually interesting that was very quickly talked about was Kyle having a lot of animosity for Sutton and I think Crystal for remaining really friendly with Kathy.

And like, you know, Kyle said, I mean, Sutton loves a party and, you know, who throws a better party than Kathy Hilton?

And then there was all those pictures of them hanging out.

I thought that was interesting.

Crystal and Kathy are friends before.

Yeah, and Sutton and Kathy would be friends.

They would be.

They're very similar, but Sutton knows Kathy through Kyle.

Yeah, I mean,

it's not that weird to me.

Like, Kathy Kathy and Kyle could make up tomorrow, and then what, everybody just like gets on board again and is friends with her.

Like, Kyle and Sutton aren't that close.

And Kyle,

they are.

Oh, I guess Kyle and Sutton.

Kyle has a legitimate gripe with Sutton, I think.

I just don't care.

I just don't care.

And I think a lot of us, like,

would still want to be friends with Kathy Hilton.

Like, I get it.

Like, yeah, not even out of thirst.

She seems like a fabulous gal.

Yeah, no.

I go be friends.

I'm not in the stage of caring about the season yet.

Yeah,

they didn't pull me in.

No.

Oh, I was, of course, really bothered by a lot of the conversation about Erica's weight loss.

They did on Watch What Happens Live too, of course.

Andy had to ask.

And Teddy actually gave a good answer until she like undid her own answer.

He was like, what do you think about the Ozempic allegations?

And Teddy, as an accountability coach and a weight loss person.

And she was like, I just think like we're so beyond the point of commenting on people's bodies and their weight loss.

And I was like, oh, great answer.

Then she's like, but it's more than just hormones.

I'm like, you literally just did what you said people should stop doing.

Yeah.

Like, leave Erica alone.

Leave Erica alone.

What kind of hormones?

Yeah.

I have heard that, like, when you go to a doctor or like a med spa for semaglutide, there are a bunch of other shots, injections, peptides, hormones that you can pair with it that make the process like just to take care of your body.

There's like fat burning shots.

I have heard.

Okay.

Cool.

Yeah, we got to go.

We got to go see one of those doctors.

Just write that down.

Yeah, so I don't think she's lying.

Yeah.

I don't care.

Yeah,

such a good response.

That's kind of the overall message for your recap of Real House Wise at Beverly Hills.

I hope you all enjoyed it.

We don't care.

And just like one minute on Southern Charm, if I may, because my comfort show I watch every week and I always forget to share my thoughts.

Not my favorite season, but I love these peeps.

And I will say, like, I'm struggling because last night there was like a fight between Taylor, Madison, and Shep.

And they were all a little bit right and a little bit wrong.

And I don't know whose side that I'm on.

Like, Taylor's obviously wrong for, you know, engaging in

relations with a few people around the table, but she's admitted, she said, I'm going through a hard time.

Like, I'm not in the shit.

She's wrong.

So she dated Shep

for years.

He broke with her.

And she was

burning her.

And yeah.

And then she kissed Austin.

But Olivia is her best friend.

And Olivia's been like crying on her shoulder about Austin.

Turns out like Taylor and him like talked about dating and she lied to Olivia about it for months.

Not cool.

And then she she sent Whitney a nude photo.

We need to talk about Whitney.

So, so the thing I like about Taylor is like when people, you think like everyone's talking about her, she's going to get like red in the face.

Oh my God, I can't believe I did those things.

She's going to try and lie and we seal her way out of it.

She's like, with the Austin thing, she's just like, I'm, I, like, she's so hard on her.

Like, she feels so bad.

It's like a good person who made a mistake.

And it's like,

nobody feels worse than she does that she lied.

And she keeps being like, I lied to my best friend's face.

Like, how can I, she's just accepting that that she did wrong.

So you can't really fault her too much.

And then the Whitney thing, that was like weird.

But then she was just like, she took a new approach.

She's just like, I like the naked body.

I would walk around naked if I could.

It's not a big deal.

And then the other, the other girls are like making fun of her because they're like, she's a Bible thumper.

Like she doesn't practice what she preaches.

And I'm like, I'm not getting that sense.

Like, okay, she loves the Bible and she sends nude pics.

Get you a girl who can do both.

She said Jesus wouldn't mind.

And that's on.

So she's taking like a fresh approach.

And every time she's confronted about something, I'm like not mad at her.

Okay, I can respect that approach.

Like, she's like not being shady about it.

She's being like very upfront, except that she lied to Olivia because she really didn't want to hurt her.

She didn't realize like lying is so much worse than just being honest.

Then, so Madison's like going in on Taylor about this like nude picture.

And she's like going in on her on Olivia's behalf.

And Olivia's like, me and Taylor need to work this out.

Like, please don't.

And I love Madison.

And I just don't know why she's like making this her problem.

Right.

And then Shep starts defending Taylor to Madison.

And it's like, Shep, you're the reason for, if you would just like marry the girl, none of this would have happened.

Right.

Interesting.

So I'm a little mad at everyone, but I also like everyone.

I think it's a pretty good place to be.

Yeah, we'll see.

We'll see what happens next.

Should we dive in?

Yeah, I guess why not?

What else is there?

You know, it's, that's all there is.

Yeah, it's Friday.

We're going to let you embark on your weekend.

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Our first story.

Taylor Swift reaches billionaire status with Eros Tour success.

So today's a big day for Taylor.

One, she's a billionaire.

Two, 1989 Taylor's version is out, which kind of snuck up on us.

Like I didn't realize it was coming out today.

Did you remember it was today?

I did know, but only because like a few days ago, I remembered.

Oh, I remember.

Right.

And I have a couple thoughts.

First of all, just something that was frustrating to me was that I went to listen to the album this morning and I knew that Kendrick Lamar like redid Bad Blood, but I didn't see it on the album.

So I was like, maybe I'm just missing it.

And then it was like, oh, there's a deluxe, there's 1989 Taylor's version, Deluxe, and it's like the only additional song.

Why are there two different, like, why can't we just have one with all the goods?

Explain.

The thing about Miss Taylor is that she's going to release four different versions of the same album.

Why?

I have to assume it has to do with like tracking and sales.

There's a reason for it, like a strategic reason.

I don't know exactly what it is, but I agree.

It's annoying.

But like, I would think, you know, I wouldn't want someone to listen to Bad Blood on this album, Bad Blood on that album.

All the streams on the streams in one.

It has to do with something.

I'm not, I'm not sure.

I'm, I'm sure there's a reason for it.

If you know, please explain in the comments because it was like, it's really annoying.

And then two, I was realizing that I actually feel like her behavior in the last few weeks has been very 1989

coded.

And I don't know if it's intentional, but she's also like dating the guy on the football team.

She's with all her friends, girl gangs, dinners, et cetera.

And that's what she was doing when 1989 came out.

Yeah, she's definitely been in her 1989 era.

And for a lot of people, that was their favorite Taylor-specific era in terms of like

social media, outfits, friendships, award shows.

I listened to the album.

I have a lot of thoughts on the Vault songs.

I still need to tell, I've only listened to them like twice through.

Like, give me a minute.

don't sound how I thought they'd sound.

They sound very midnight-sy.

I feel like a lot of her current inspo was

like influenced on this music.

But I was really hoping for me, 1989 is the greatest pop album of all time.

And the 1989 tour should be studied by historians.

And

there are so many things in the 1989 live tour that are magic.

Out of the woods.

Her rendition of her own song, Out of the Woods, where I think she makes it literally into a better song, is spectacular.

Her mashup of Enchanted and Wildest Dreams is one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard in my life.

I also really, really like the Screamo,

We Are Never Getting Back Together version.

She did a bunch of different spins on the song, and I would have loved, loved if we got either live versions of them or she re-recorded the, you know, an out of the woods, you know, different version.

Yeah, I agree.

I would have loved that.

I agree.

And I also,

this morning upon listening to the album, I didn't even make it to the vault tracks because I was just enjoying listening to the album.

Like, it's the best album, period.

And it's, it's it's, like, a basic answer when people are like, what's your favorite Taylor album?

Because it was like her most like commercially successful album at the time because it was technically her first pop album, even though like red is really pop.

Um, and it's just so good, and

it's a delight to like go back.

And because when it came out, like, my issue with Speak Now is like it brings me back to when I was

18.

Like, I just can't relate.

But this album, I was like 22.

Yeah, I was 21.

And

it's a good time.

It's a good time.

Like, I had a boyfriend.

I was like getting famous on Instagram.

Like 1989, the year, the 1989 years were good years.

Yeah, like I was graduated from college.

So I was like becoming an adult and I just feel more connected to that version of me than like Anna said, speak nah.

Yeah.

Well,

agreed.

What else did I want to say?

Oh, and another thing she could have included on like my dream Taylor's version for 1989 is Sydney.

I'm not that close to it.

What's that?

Oh, did you ever see the 1989 movie DVD?

I don't think so.

Where can I watch it?

You like can't.

I mean, it's on YouTube.

If you want to watch it, somebody like uploaded it.

You get ads.

It's so annoying.

But it was an Apple Music exclusive.

And the person who updated it wanted to give everyone who watched it epilepsy.

They do not stay on one frame for more than two seconds.

It is impossible to watch.

It's infuriating to watch.

Crowd, close-up, backup, dancer, lights, sky, crowd.

Insane.

It's so annoying.

And

wait, what was the point I was trying to make?

Sydney.

Oh, yeah.

So the town that she filmed for 1989 and the one that the concert that ended up being used for the concert movie was in Sydney, Australia.

And so she did this at other shows, but the one that people know from the DVD is Sydney is.

I can't even explain it.

She just like talks to the crowd during

Blank Space, right before the bridge, boys only want love but before that she goes sydney

and then they take that vocal and it becomes a part of the background so the whole time she's like sydney

sydney and so like swifties can't call someone sydney it's sydney

wow okay i'm just not that close to it but the bridge of blank space she does like a harmony echo so she'll harm she does the boys only want love if it's torture don't say i didn't say i didn't warn you she does that three times she does it the first time then it plays back and she harmonizes with it again.

Then those two harmonies play together and she harmonizes it with a third one.

It's so good.

It's called a loop, I think.

Cool.

Yeah.

I could try and do the harmonies right now if you wanted me to.

If you think that you can, and then it will be a pleasant audio experience.

You know, I'm on track.

So the first one is just the regular.

Boys only want love if it's torture.

Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you.

Boys only want love if it's torture.

Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn ya.

Boys only want love if it's torture.

Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn ya.

I did it.

Very good.

Oh my God.

If somebody's like an audio editor, can they take all three and then pick them up and lay them on top of each other?

Loop her.

Oh my God, sick.

Maybe it's good.

That was good.

That was really good.

I didn't know where you were going to take us.

I've watched it 1,000 times.

I don't know how to naturally harmonize.

Like a lot of people hear a song and can jump in and harmonize.

I think people know that we don't know how to harmonize and we'll never stop trying.

But unless I can memorize the harmony, like I have, then it's just another song to memorize.

Right, right.

If I could harmonize, I would be the most annoying person on the planet.

It is a gift from God to everyone else in the world that I don't know how to harmonize.

No, but harmonizing is so beautiful.

My friend Abe harmonizes and like I always make him harmonize with me.

I'm like, I'll sing the melody, you harmonize.

It's so pretty.

Damn.

You need to learn.

Isn't it just innate?

I think you can learn.

Okay.

Okay.

I'll try and learn.

But I agree.

Like you either have it or you don't.

Yeah.

And like I have other things.

Like you don't get everything.

And of course I could sit here and lament like, why didn't I get harmonizing?

Why did I get a good voice?

I got good handwriting, you know?

It's so true.

We all are given a hand of cards and you have the handwriting one.

yeah and and i will say i don't have the handwriting one and it definitely sucks like yeah to not have good handwriting i'm sure and i have other cards i just can't think of them right now i've got to have them

style i have style you never go out of style so true i think i take that one for granted for sure that like i know how to get that i know how to get dressed Yeah, I also, you're just like naming things and I don't have any of them.

I don't have good style.

You don't have bad style though.

No, but I don't have like an eye.

Okay.

But you have

comedy through the nose.

Okay.

I just feel like we're always saying.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm going to keep going.

I'm going to keep going.

You have like magnetism, Lettard.

But that's like, that's what we always say.

That's what I'm saying.

Okay, okay.

So I need to find, and also I need to find like skills, not just, okay, things that you are skillful at.

Singing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's such a big card.

It is, it is, it is, it is.

But like, it's not like a, you know, it's not as good as handwriting.

You're also really good at doing your hair.

Some people can't do their hair.

I'm actually really not good at doing my hair.

Your hair always looks good.

I'm good at doing my hair on a remote podcast.

Like, don't, the hair that's behind me that nobody sees, we don't talk about her.

La, if only you could see the back of my head right now.

I'm like,

I need to make sure that back hair stays in the back.

And also, like, the headphones allow us to cover

a myriad of mistakes because I just have to, like, keep it behind my ears ears and then you don't see you just don't see anything the headphones allow us to cover up a multitude of sins yes I love that phrase add that phrase to the list of phrases we want to start using multitude of sins multitude of sins it's like so grandma I love it let me look at phrases good terms and phrases yeah I feel like I haven't been using the phrases I said I wanted to start using No, you haven't, but there's time.

We podcast every day.

Yeah.

The call is coming from inside the house.

We all have a role to play in the war to come.

Is the blank in the room with us right now?

Yeah, I've gotten good at that one.

I, you have.

I still like, it's my phrase.

I added it to the list and I can't figure out how to use it.

I used it really well the other day in the group chat.

I forget about it.

Yeah, you were being shady.

Always.

I'm going to, my goal for the rest of the episode is

I'm going to find a way to use that phrase during this episode.

Okay.

Use it well.

Okay.

So anyways, Taylor is a billionaire.

How do you feel?

It feels like delayed.

It's crazy that like she's so successful.

Like really being a musician is not that

lucrative as you would think considering like

how hard she's had to work to become a billionaire.

And from the second she started making money, she's been incredibly wise.

It's not like she went through a period where she went broke.

That happens to a lot of people.

From day one, she has invested.

She has, you know, bought real estate.

She's been smart.

She's done everything right.

She's been the biggest pop star for so many years and she's still not becoming a billionaire.

And I think it's so crazy because I read an article that Selena Gomez is also going to become a billionaire this year from Rare Beauty, and that's just the difference.

And Rare Beauty has been around, what, for like two, three years?

Yeah, that's insane.

That is insane.

But also, like, Taylor really doesn't have a commercial product.

No,

but I actually think in the long run, that will suit her.

How people, just like, she's not so

like promotionally, you know?

Yeah.

You have to, like, you have to eat a lot of shit and like do a lot of things when you're a business owner who's a celebrity.

Like you have to make TikToks and stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But Taylor doesn't have to do that.

Yeah.

And I think that stuff does like chip away at your image slowly over time.

To make TikToks.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Well, I'm happy.

I'm happy for her.

Me too.

I know that

these milestones mean a lot to her.

I mean, I think that would mean a lot to anyone.

For sure.

To become a billionaire.

I hope she's out celebrating with Trav.

Maybe she was out celebrating last night.

She was out in New York.

I was not dressed nor alert.

She went to Holiday Bar, a restaurant I have been to and frequent.

You know, I could have been there.

I've never heard of it.

It does have anything to do with the holidays.

I think they opened during the holidays, and I thought it was like a pop-up for the holidays, but then it just became a restaurant that's like open all the time.

It reminds me of her house, Holiday House, quietly on that hill.

Oh my god, it was totally

East Drag.

Easter egg.

Coded.

Coded.

Codia.

I would love a billion dollars.

Let's keep podcasting, Claude.

Yep.

Are there any billionaire podcasters that we can even aspire to be?

Well, there probably aren't podcasters.

There probably aren't billionaires who became billionaires from their podcast, but there might be a podcaster who happens to also be a billionaire.

Yes, agreed with that.

But like, I guess the most successful podcaster from podcasting is Joe Rogan.

And he's got hundreds of millions.

Yeah.

Like, I think like 180, 180, I thought.

Well, they said that his Spotify deal was 100 million, but I've been hearing over the years, it's actually far more than that.

I agree.

It was kind of like universally accepted as 100, even though the number was never released.

And now, like, as

more time goes on, it's being reported that it was actually more than that.

Like, maybe it was 100 million per year.

Maybe it was 100 million before ads, because when I listen to his show, he has tons of ads.

Yeah, but I think the whole point of Spotify paying all that money to Joe Rogan is that Spotify keeps all the ad revenue.

No, it's that all the listeners have to download Spotify, and that's millions of listeners.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I wish you would just be honest: like, how much you make,

even though I'm like not a fan of um paid transparency, there's like this trend on TikTok where like you have to share how much you make.

I don't, I don't subscribe to that.

No, but I just like I want him to tell me, but I don't feel like he needs he owes the whole world like his pay stub.

Oh, yeah, no, I'll find out for me, not for everyone.

Yeah, yeah.

Um, congrats, Taylored.

Congrats, congrats.

Our next story.

Kylie Jenner matches her faux, Leather Luke, with Kendall and Haley Bieber for her Kai launch amid some Kai drama as well.

So there is a designer named Betsy Johnson, not to be confused with, you know, the Splitsville queen.

The who?

Splits.

Betsy and her splits.

Betsy Johnson.

That's who we're talking about.

No, it's not Betsy Johnson and the Splits.

Wait.

Betsy Johnson, the blonde, I think she's Jewish, designer who make like bot mitzvah dresses.

Who does splits on the runway?

This is not who we're talking about.

Oh my God.

I read the story and I just assumed it was her.

It is not her.

It is a different designer called Betsy Johnson.

And she's much more, like if you look at her Instagram, it's like much more like Kylie style, leather, et cetera.

So Betsy Johnson is accusing Kylie of thievery, even though Betsy Johnson stole Betsy Johnson's name?

Yeah, but what if she was born Betsy Johnson?

No, I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

Yeah.

But anyways, yeah, she posted a series of Instagram stories Wednesday claiming that she emailed Kylie's team concepts, language, and line sheets from her own label called Products, and that they went on to utilize her ideas without giving her proper credit.

As a creative director, stylist, and consultant, Betsy Johnson the second has worked with brands including the second including Louis de Javier and Balenciaga.

Incidentally, she's also worked with Kanye on a number of projects, including his Easy Gap engineered by Balenciaga line.

So she's like probably not unfamiliar to Kylie.

I'm sure Kylie's heard of her.

But when you see the two things that are being compared, like to me, they're not the same.

Let me look.

Let me look.

Like they're long leather jackets, but like the leather jacket has been around.

Like no one, she didn't invent the leather jacket.

Leather.

I'm going to tell you how when I thought this was Betsy Johnson, the way that the Betsy Johnson of this story posted on Instagram mad about

the new Kai brand using curse words.

I'm like, I I cannot believe Bessie Johnson talks like this.

I thought it was the older lady.

It's not.

It's Bessie Johnson II.

I just want to say that

it's a similar vibe for sure, but like

vibes are vibes, and we're all vibing.

They are leather.

Two faux leather trenches.

Yeah.

I mean, if they're, we didn't, she's obviously like in the business of sharing.

So if she worked with Kylie and there's proof, like show the receipts because like I could see, you know, a world in which this would happen, but I'm going to need a little bit more proof.

No, but like I could go to Farfetch and search Leather Trench and I'll see a million leather trenches.

Like that's not a proprietary idea.

Also, the things about Betsy Johnson's trench that are very unique are the collar, the shoulders, and the asymmetrical.

Yeah, it's not really a trench.

It's more of like a cape no but it's the color of the shoulder and the asymmetrical zip uh closing and Kylie's has none of those things okay maybe it has a little bit of big shoulders but it's it's got collar like a flap collar I will say one thing that gives this Bessie Johnson legitimacy is that she's worked with Kylie so she's like clearly in yeah Kylie I'm sure like knows her stuff and likes her stuff and it isn't not inspired by her but I don't think this is like copy paste I don't by the way it's certainly not copy paste the jackets couldn't be more different.

And the concept of a leather jacket isn't entirely unique.

It's very on trend right now.

Right.

Yeah, that's true.

So anyways, Kylie had an event to celebrate her new fashion brand and everyone wore some of the new styles and they looked wonderful doing so.

But it also helps like when everyone's a model and they're wearing your clothes.

How is it going to look bad?

I guess it's like a really good reason to start a fashion brand if all of your friends are model-esque.

Yeah, also, Kylie did an interview with

Wall Street Journal where she explained like what Kai is going to be and it's going to be like a series of capsule collections in collaboration with other designers.

Yeah, so this is their first drop is in a collab with another designer.

That's a unique idea.

I don't know how much we need this, like for real.

Yeah, I do.

I like the looks.

And so far nothing's more than $200.

Like it's not...

It's still not a bad idea, but then I don't love the idea of it's like collaborations with other designers because in some collections I might not like.

Some I might like it it might not have like a distinct POV

but the business model of like doing drops is so Kylie like think back in the day with the lip kits that really built her whole business so I think the model is smart I just don't know I just don't know like I don't know clothes is really hard yeah

And not everyone can wear what Kylie wears, like for a number of reasons.

Yeah, it's very avant-garde.

It's very fashion.

It's not like ready to wear.

Like, I have to go to work.

Right.

No, I'm a mother.

Right.

Like, I'm going to the supermarket.

Right.

Right.

So it's a little nutty.

But

I don't know.

But the leather jacket is not.

These looks aren't nutty.

I think Haley and Kendall look great in the outfits.

I thought Kylie looked great last night.

Like, I like drop one.

Okay.

We'll take it drop by drop.

We're going to go drop by drop.

A drop in the ocean.

A change in the weather.

Like when I was in the seventh grade, that song changed my life.

Tell us more.

Ron Pope, are you familiar?

Yeah.

I was thinking that you and me might end up together.

Were you listening to it while looking at Maverick through the window in the playground?

Yes, through the window pane.

And when I think about it, it was symbolic of your pain.

When I look through the window, when I listen to that song now as an adult, like I'm brought back to that moment and that pain.

And how do you channel that pain?

With my music.

That's actually like what interviews sound like sometimes.

I know.

And let's do like a mock moronic interview.

Give me questions.

So when you're brought back to that place, how do you channel how you're feeling?

I think that's what's so great about being a creative and an artist is that it's an outlet for self-expression.

And I think my fans feel that come through in my music.

And so if you could talk to your fans, what would you say?

I would want them to know that they are beautiful.

And

this relationship we have is so special because we see that beauty in one another.

And my concerts are a representation of that beauty.

And it's really beautiful.

I love my fans.

It's beautiful, Turdy Lou.

Thank you.

Like everybody says nothing.

All the time.

We are the generation who says nothing.

Yeah, no, word salad.

Yummy, yummy.

Word salad.

Yummy, yummy.

Literally.

That's good.

I like that.

The way,

like, that reference is changing.

I would like to see the Wiggles sit down for an interview and answer for their crimes about how fruit salad, yummy, yummy changed the musical landscape forever.

Word salad.

Yummy, yummy.

And by the way, hot take, fruit salad is disgusting.

You shouldn't mix fruits.

Fruits shouldn't touch fellow fruits that aren't their own milk.

Is the yumminess in the room with us?

I agree.

Fruit salads are not yummy.

Like mixing of juices.

Keep

separate.

100%.

Hashtag keep fruits separate.

Agreed.

Hashtag down with fruit salad.

Nummy, nummy.

Not yummy, not yummy.

Agreed.

Our next story.

Chris Jenner says it was a huge mistake cheating on Robert Kardashian Sr.

I saw this.

She said it was her life's biggest regret.

During Thursday's episode of The Kardashians, Chris opened up to Khloe about cheating on her father, Robert Kardashian Sr., with soccer player turned animator Todd Waterman in 1989 and why she felt it was her life's biggest regret.

The revelation occurred as the two were chatting about Khloe's ex Tristan, and Chloe asked her mom, what was your mindset when you cheated?

When you did that with my dad and you had four kids and you had a family, yes, I know you were really young.

She responded, explaining that being really young and dumb is something that plays into it because you don't really understand the consequences of your actions.

Chloe still wasn't fully understanding and asked her mom again, but what was my dad not doing that made you want to look elsewhere?

Chris said, I don't know because he was such a great husband and such a great dad.

And I think that I fell into a situation where I thought that the grass was greener somewhere else and I made a huge mistake.

That's my life's biggest regret.

So I actually saw this clip and I thought Chris was really genuine, actually, in the way she described it being like, nothing was wrong.

I just wondered.

I feel like that happens.

Like you just look at other people and you wonder if the grass is greener and you feel like it's going to be harmless.

And the fact that she like still looks back on it is like one of the biggest regrets.

And he was such a good husband and such a good dad.

And of course, the fact that he's dead now and you always like memorialize people in such a more positive light.

I feel like that's probably something that haunts her.

Yeah.

Well, it's nice that she could be open about that.

But I guess like for Chloe, it's like sad Chloe asking that question.

Like, what was he not doing?

Like, because that's how she feels.

Like,

what could I be doing to make him stop cheating?

Yeah, yeah.

But some people, and I don't think this is true for Chris, but I think it's probably true for Kristen.

Some people are just unable

to be loyal.

Did I say Kristen?

Yeah.

Tristan.

I think Tristan.

Tristan and Chris.

Like, I don't think that was the case for Chris.

I don't think Chris was a serial cheater.

She like made a mistake and had an affair and she like can see that now.

But with Tristan, it's like different people, different moments in time.

It's like he's almost unable to be monogamous.

Yeah, no, it's like Chris did that and then she didn't do it again because you like learn from your mistakes and you recognize how you feel and you don't want to feel that way again.

But like he keeps doing it.

Right.

So it's not the same.

But I feel like Chris like never talks about this.

I want to say I almost didn't even know that she cheated on him.

I didn't know for a fact that she did.

I thought it was kind of like rumors swirly.

But this Todd Waterman guy, like I feel like he's even been on the show in some way.

Like Chris met up with him once.

Yeah, because

he was an athlete turned what?

Animator.

Yeah, and I feel like, remember when Chris was managing Caitlin before Caitlin transitioned as like a motivational speaker, former athlete, and she was like doing that type of management for athletes.

Yeah, why do you think she did that for Todd?

I think maybe he was on the episode under that guise.

Interesting.

It just, that's happened in my brain how I remember it, but it's entirely.

I feel like I remember it as like Chris's old boyfriend, but not

her mister.

Chris's old boyfriend, yeah, and they like go and play tennis together.

Yeah, it was an

it was an outdoor activity.

Yeah, the girls follow her.

I don't know about that.

But we also could be just confusing with Todd Cranes.

We could always be confusing with Todd Cranes, who's been really quiet recently.

I wonder if he's just like grinding.

Maybe he's just like living his life.

I don't know.

I feel like, you know, he's grinding it out and what he does in the dark will show in the light.

Yeah.

No, I'd definitely be interested to see what Todd Crane's take on the Middle East conflict is.

1000%.

I feel like he has his head screwed on, right?

But you never know.

You never know.

You'd be surprised.

You'd be surprised.

Look at these college kids.

Nuts.

Nuts.

They are.

If I was a college student right now, like, I think I'd probably drop out.

I would drop out.

And depending on what I wanted to do, that would dictate whether or not I needed to go back.

Cause like for a lot of jobs, you really don't need a college degree.

And a lot of the people who are hiring for jobs are like looking at these colleges.

And they're not, you know, they're rescinding applications.

So maybe you could find a job.

But if you wanted to be a professional that needs a degree, like a lawyer or a doctor, I guess I would go to a school.

We need like Jewish universities, honestly.

But what's crazy?

Like what, Brandeis?

No, Yeshiva University.

Oh, yeah.

Brandeis is also not a Jewish school.

Everyone who goes there is Jewish, but it's not the curriculum.

But like I've seen there's incidents of anti-Semitism at Brandeis.

Imagine being an anti-Semite and going to Brandeis.

Like, are you okay?

Did you get lost?

Louis J.

Brandeis, like he was a Jew.

Yeah.

No, the whole, the school is so Jewish.

Yeah, it's a school that's not curriculum-based Judaism, but I didn't even know that students who weren't Jewish went there.

I mean, it's open to everyone, but it's like, it's Jewish.

But there are Jewish Jewish universities.

Ben went to a Jewish university, Yeshiva University.

Yeah, no, but they need like secular Jewish universities where it's like, okay, I'm not here to study Torah.

But so there are, if you wanted to go to a law school or med school that is Jewish, Yeshiva University has Cordoza Law School, which is actually like one of the best law schools in the country.

I don't actually think you have to be Jewish to go there.

They do have Albert Einstein Medical.

I think they have medical school.

Okay.

Are there any other universities other than Yeshiva University?

No, I think it's the only Jewish college.

We're going to need more.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I would, I would not, I would not give these institutions my money who can't even like condemn what's happening, can't protect, but we'll do it for any other cause.

Like all of a sudden, we don't take a stance.

Right, right, right, right, right.

50 grand a semester, 50 grand a year.

Bye.

It's become more clear, I think, to most Jews, like on all spectrums right now, from reform all the way up, that Jews aren't included in activism.

And Jews aren't abundantly clear.

Jews aren't included in progressivism.

Right.

And that's just become abundantly clear, especially to a lot of progressive Jews.

And it's like people having this identity crisis because, you know, you, so much of your identity is like standing up for others.

And then it's your turn and nobody stands for you.

So I think it's like a, a lot of Jews are having an identity crisis right now.

Yeah.

But yeah, if I was at college, bye.

Bye.

I want my money back.

Yeah, no, I demand a refund.

I feel like there's going to be like a lawsuit or something.

Yeah, they're working on a class action lawsuit.

If you actually are a college student and you have experienced anti-Semitism on campus, there is a class action lawsuit being put together.

And I'll find the information for where you can sign up.

Cool.

Cool.

Oh, now there's a class action lawsuit.

I kind of wish I was a college student.

No, I'm kidding.

No, never.

Our next story, some

harmony.

Fifth?

Fourth.

Fourth Harmony.

Fourth Harmony.

Fourth story harmony.

Okay.

Fourth Harmony.

Nicola Pelt is paying tribute to her mother-in-law as she wears Victoria Beckham t-shirt.

So Nicola.

A t-shirt?

Nicola and Victoria have been good recently.

Good.

They were at dinner the other night in Miami.

Like a girly, like there was two pictures, like the girl's side of the table.

And like Nicola and Victoria were next to each other with, I think, Victoria's friends.

And Brooklyn and David were there.

And now Nicola is wearing Victoria on her shirt.

Like considering there was a Cold War.

So she's not wearing a shirt designed by Victoria Beckham it's a shirt that has a picture of Victoria Beckham yeah like um it's cute it says like posh like it's like spice girls t-shirt oh member abelia yeah I like that so Nicola is a posh spice fan on Thursday the actress paid a sweet tribute to her mother-in-law by donning a retro t-shirt of the fashion designer from her spice girls days she shared the image of herself with the caption London Times

London Times or London?

London.

I thought you said they were in Miami.

That was a different incident.

Oh, oh, okay, okay.

So she didn't wear the shirt.

Twice in one week, there's been warm.

No.

There has been, maybe there was like a family meeting.

There was a thawing.

They have

come to terms,

tabular acid, and I love this because this whole wedding and now like in-law situation should be more iconic.

Like it's so fabulous, especially with the Beckham so in the news right now.

And maybe Nicola's like, oh, maybe my in-laws like are cool.

Maybe I should like start being nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think things got like really bad for a while i feel like brooklyn wasn't even talking to his family but clearly like

tensions have thawed the ice queens have come together for an amazing ice sculpture but the thing is in the documentary what my takeaway from it wasn't really about victoria but we got a lot of victoria is that she's really not a nice queen right so she obviously has that image because she wears like big sunglasses and she's like you know like a mean skinny british lady yeah but like on a personal level she seems actually very warm and funny yeah agree and i feel like when there was first tensions after the wedding, I probably felt like, oh, it must be hard to have like Victoria Beckham as your mother-in-law.

Like she's the ice queen.

And even though we've also heard, you know, not the kindest things about Nicola, you could understand.

But now I'm like, no, she's just a mom.

She loves her kids.

Yeah.

She gives mom energy.

And I'm glad everyone is starting to like see each other.

Yeah, because it should be like so fun.

She's iconic, like billionaires and billionaires getting together.

Or, you know, who's going to pay for the boat?

It doesn't even matter.

Like, that should be fun, you know?

Yeah.

Like, let's get out of our own way, shall we?

Yeah.

So, that's a bit of good news.

That is good.

And now are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I am.

Random real estate news.

Okay.

The historic Flatiron building will be converted into condos.

The...

The Flatiron.

Oh my God.

What is it now?

Office building?

I don't know.

I kind of thought it just sat there, but I know.

I feel like it's kind of, it's iconic.

You guys definitely know the building.

It's just in every movie.

It's like an iconic.

And it's also, it became, I feel, like, so big, like from Instagram.

Like, people are obsessed with it on Instagram.

I feel like also like Bendel's like was always making like shit with that building on it, you know?

Yeah, it's the building that's like really thin at one side.

It's like a triangle.

Triangle.

And while it's iconic architecturally, I feel like on the inside, it's literally

practical.

What the fuck do you put in that corner?

A bathroom.

Okay.

That's what I think.

But yeah.

I'm curious to see what the developer is going to do.

Right now it is office spaces, but it will be converted into luxury housing.

The impending change was announced by its owners on Thursday.

It'll take about three years to transform the space.

I mean, it'll be sick if it's like, you know, it's probably going to be like some of the most expensive apartments in the city because it's in this iconic building.

And I'm sure it'll make it really nice.

And people will buy it just to buy it, not to live there.

Like, you know, rich people, princes are always at the plaza.

Foreigners.

Yeah.

So they buy it as investments.

I'm sure it'll sell really well, but I don't think it's like a practical living space.

We'll see what they do with the place.

But that's, yeah, like kind of trippy to like live in a triangle.

Yeah.

And it's like, I feel like, I wonder if the units are going to be the whole floor because it's like not fair if someone gets the half of the floor that is thin.

It's thin.

Yeah.

No, that's interesting.

Yeah.

It's also a great location, but is it a great location because it's a great building?

No, it's a great location.

It's not like the heart of Flat.

I know, but I feel like all those things kind of popped up around that building because it's the building.

So now finally the building itself will be worthy.

You know, it's going to be really pricey.

Yeah.

Even though it's like moronic.

I'm sure that they'll be able to engineer it.

It's going to be very cool.

Maybe not even a toilet, like

a closet.

I don't know.

A closet.

Like a nice woman's closet.

Not a broom closet.

I'll follow this.

Not a broom closet.

Even though it's it's kind of the perfect place for a broom closet.

It's a perfect place for a studio, Lottard.

Should we buy?

And then that would be our view

behind us.

But it's not windows.

Yes, it is.

The peak is windows.

The peak is windows.

Oh, okay.

That's actually sick.

I take it back.

Yeah, so if you're like sitting on the toilet looking out the window, gorgeous.

No, it should be a part of the living room, even though that makes no goddamn sense.

I mean, everyone has a corner in their living room.

It's just a corner.

Nobody puts baby in a corner.

Good luck to these architects who's going to have to figure it out.

Why did they build this building like this?

I'm sure there's, you know, a historical fact as to why it's built that way.

You know what?

I'm going to find out what that fact is.

Wow, she's on a mission.

While you usher us into the next season of this episode.

So we're about to do Deer Toasters our weekly advice segment, but before we do, let me let you know that today's episode and Deer Toasters are brought to you by Sax.com.

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You know what else is brought to you by Caraway?

What?

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Did you find the reason for the flat iron building?

I did.

I found a couple interesting facts I want to share.

One, it's shaped triangularly to maximize the building's footprint on the triangular parcel of land.

Okay.

So that's.

So is the land.

So that's that.

The project structural engineer named Cory Don Purdy.

Oh my God.

Cory Don Purdy Liu filed plans for a 20 story building in August of 1901.

The Flatiron Building was not the first building of its triangular ground plan, although it was the largest at the time of its completion.

Earlier buildings with a similar shape include a triangular Roman temple built on a similarly constricted site in the city of Britannia.

So it goes back to the Roman Empire.

And that's why people are always thinking about the Roman Empire.

They pass something like the Flatiron Building.

The Romans invented this structural market.

I love that.

And we have a Deer Toasters today that is my Roman Empire.

Let's get into it.

So, Deer Toasters is our weekly advice segment.

We usually do it on Wednesdays.

I don't want to talk about it.

And if you want to submit, we have two ways to submit.

It's all anonymous.

Don't worry.

You can write in about anything from family stuff, wedding stuff, boyfriend stuff, relationship.

It's deartoasters at gmail.com.

That is the email you can write a submission to.

We also have a submission box on our website, thetoastpodcast.com.

Again, totally anonymous.

This one is the first one.

It's very short and it's very sweet.

Dear toasters, I'm 12 and I'm wondering, when is a good time to get a boyfriend?

It's a really good question.

I feel like if you're asking, it's because maybe like some of your friends have boyfriends and you're wondering like, oh, are we ready for this?

Are we doing this?

And I just want to let you know, there's never a right or a wrong time to have a boyfriend.

It's natural.

12 is really young.

So don't be rushed.

I would say most people have their first like real boyfriend in like the beginning of college.

No, there's like high school.

There were those people who had like boyfriends.

Like some.

I said most people.

Yeah, I feel like, I feel like when you're in middle school, like you have a boyfriend, but then you guys just like text and you don't talk.

Well, for us, it was on AIM.

But then like if you saw each other in the halls.

I don't know you.

Oh my God.

If you saw your AIM boyfriend in the hall back in the day, like seriously, I have to transfer schools.

It's humiliating.

The way like your AIM boyfriend literally didn't exist in real life was insane.

Insane.

And then you would break up over AIM and the things could go back to normal.

No, honestly, like, having an AIM boyfriend was so stressful.

I feel like we were all holding our breath until we just broke up with our aim boyfriend, VAIM.

VAIM.

But like, it just meant that you couldn't talk to this person in school.

Why?

No, but every, but everyone else was talking about the fact that you were boyfriend and girlfriend.

Right.

And it was just so awkward.

And I felt like that phenomenon of my aim boyfriend ignoring me and vice versa was only happening to me.

Like when

it's a universal, I'm glad to know because I just, I felt like the way I remember it is like when other people had a boyfriend that they had from AIM, like they would be a boyfriend on the playground.

But like they weren't.

And I feel like probably modern day AIM boyfriend is like a snap boyfriend.

Or texting.

Texting.

Yeah.

So I just want to say like there's literally no rush.

And I can't believe a 12-year-old listens to our podcast.

You are amazing and you're going to grow up to be such a beautiful, stunning, and smart woman.

And there's no rush to getting a boyfriend, like for real.

Yeah.

I don't.

Some people don't even have their first boyfriend until they're like 30.

And you know what?

Those people are totally fine and healthy.

Like, don't worry about it.

Yeah.

It's, it's personal.

Boyfriends are more personal than comedy.

But I feel like if you don't have a boyfriend in high school, there were only a few people, at least at our high school, that like were in actual relationships where it's like, you know, we go places together and we talk to each other in the hallways.

Right.

But I feel like you could wait.

I don't think at 12, you don't need a boyfriend.

Just like focus on things that make you happy.

It's very stressful.

Focus on your studies, your extracurriculars, your friends, you know, learning more about yourself, your family.

Yeah.

And if we have any other 12-year-olds listening to this show, let me impart a little bit of wisdom that I think

people probably tell you all the time and you don't listen, but let me tell you, you will get older and you will wish you listened.

Be nicer to your parents, okay?

They love you.

They do everything for you.

They're just trying their best.

They're also just people just like you.

Like you struggle with stuff sometimes.

They struggle.

Just be nice to your parents and if any of your friends tell your parents to shut up tell them that they shouldn't do that.

That's true.

Also be nice to yourself Like yes, you're doing your best.

You're so cute the things that you think are embarrassing are not

and the things that you think right now are like gonna melt your world and you will literally not even remember in a month's time Yeah, just like go easy on yourself.

I used to stress out about the most random but like tiniest things that now I just like I almost wish I told someone about what was stressing me out so they could tell me like girl you're fine you're fine calm down so all of those things that are stressing you out let it go release it yeah and it's friday weekend slumber party okay ready for our next one yeah hey swirling girlies hey i am dating uh my p-jam of a boyfriend for a year now and he is perfect in every way he's a huge sports fan talks about sports i can relate even Even has his own football podcast.

Just like us.

Is this about us?

Is this play about us?

Yes, very

My senior year of college, I entered on and off into a relationship with an athlete at my school.

Let's call him Theo.

He and I stayed in touch up until I met my current boyfriend.

Well, Theo was recently drafted to the NFL, and my boyfriend is obsessed with him.

He brings up Theo constantly, sends me his Instagram posts, his tweets, showing me his highlights.

I've never told my boyfriend about Theo because it's in the past, and I'm not sure how he would feel.

While I have no feelings for Theo, it's weird to hear my boyfriend constantly rave about my ex-boyfriend, and I know if the roles were reversed, I would want to know.

Would you girls tell your husbands in a situation like this or just let it be?

I would tell.

One, because he's going to think it's...

Jackie,

it depends on the man.

Like, you have to know your man.

Like, yeah, you would tell Zach.

I would tell Ben.

He would think it's so cool.

Right.

I think this guy would think it's so cool, especially if, like, if there was no...

But what is he like as a boyfriend?

Is he very jealous?

Is he very possessed?

Okay, only a true crazy person could be jealous of someone that you dated before you ever met them.

And if he's a true crazy person, like you shouldn't be with him.

Oh, actually, by the way, Jackie, speaking of facts, don't listen to me.

Listen to me.

So like if he is a good guy and the right guy for you, he will only enjoy this fun fact.

And then also, like, he might think twice before sending you all this stuff because he doesn't want to like, you know, awaken that desire for you.

So he should know that every time he sends you like Theo's stuff that like, you know this man.

You should know.

Yeah.

I also think like your boyfriend might be impressed by you.

100%.

And you like, you know, at any stage of a relationship, even if you get married, like you should, you should always be like, you know,

wanting your partner to think fondly of you.

Yeah, and I think it might like make your boyfriend like

put some respect on your name.

Yeah.

Look what I pulled.

I pulled a Theo.

What did you do?

No, and it's like, I better act right or she could go back to Theo.

Right, right.

Scare him into submission.

You tell him.

Shout her from the rooftops.

Yeah, you should definitely tell him because if anything, like most likely, he'll just be excited about it and it'll be something you guys can talk about.

Yeah, totally.

And if you're happy and you're not, like, you're in a healthy relationship, it really shouldn't matter.

Yeah, no, and if he takes it badly, then like there's something wrong with him, and you should know that.

Red flag alert.

Like, actually, it's enormously helpful.

Yeah.

All right, our third and final.

Hey, girlies, I'm a new toaster, absolutely loving you too.

I have not missed an episode.

So, my husband likes to golf, and I try to be a supportive wife who lets him enjoy his hobbies.

The other day, he went golfing, and I decided to send him a cute little nude photo, hoping to spice things up in the bedroom when he got home.

I took the picture on Snapchat and added a caption that said, Here's your prize if you shoot under 80.

I guess that's like a good score.

You guess your husband's always posting that over under 80.

He's always posting over under 90 because he fucking stinks.

Anyway, I sent it and his response was, doesn't look like I'll be shooting under 80 today.

And that's all he said.

He didn't say anything about my body or me looking sexy or anything having to do with me sending him this nude photo.

Sure, he was in the middle of golfing, but like, you could take two seconds to send something back.

I'm feeling

a little upset about this.

And I'm not sure if I'm right for feeling this way.

Like, dude, acknowledge the nude.

Does my husband deserve a grilling for this, or should I ignore the fact that he ignored my husband?

Okay, that's not where I thought this was going to go.

I thought it was going to be like, you know, his phone was projected onto the TV.

Oh, you know, a perspective is everything.

No, but this is actually like kind of like making kind of worse.

And like, that's.

That's rough.

That would upset me too.

Like, it's like a feeling of rejection, especially if you're not someone who like sends a lot of like nudes and puts yourself out there like that, which I feel like that's the case.

Otherwise, he would know how to respond.

And you wouldn't, you know, I, so that's really a bummer I would mention it the perfect word Jackie it's a bummer yeah I would mention it and be like

I

was my feelings were hurt like I yeah I feel like what's worse than like putting yourself out there and like making an advance yeah and this is it's not like risky because you guys are married like you know he likes you like so you put yourself out there just to not even be turned down but to be ignored it's almost worse it would really hurt my feelings and I would just say something so one he knows why he's never getting one ever again right and two like maybe he has a reason as to why, like maybe, maybe the guy's

bad shoulder and he just like had to respond something crappy.

Like sometimes with Snapchat, if you don't have a lot of service, like the photo won't populate, but the caption will.

So maybe he just saw your caption.

Probably not, but maybe he has his reason.

Give him a chance.

He is your husband.

You should talk this through.

But this is why golf is toxic, and that's what I've been saying for years.

Yours, like, too good for this world, that not only did he leave you to go play golf, but but he also got nudes.

Right.

No, because the only thing Ben gets when he leaves to play golf is an attitude.

An attitude.

And maybe that's how it should be because they don't appreciate.

Right.

And he doesn't even bring back a snack or anything from the fucking, like, I love a country club.

Godfrey just invites me.

Like, go sit and have lunch.

Like, I'll play.

And then, like, no, never.

Do you ever make it known that you would be open to such a thing?

No, because I'm like a monster because Ben really wants to join like a club and...

be a member and he's like you could swim and like yeah sure for one month a year and then I'm like stuck paying for this country club that just you're using throughout the year to go golfing.

And he's like,

so when he golfs, he golfs with other people at their club.

So he can't be bringing his wife, you know.

Got it.

So you're kind of like getting in your own way.

Yeah, because he's like, let's join.

Let's join.

And they, as like under 30, you get a good membership.

He's like, we're a family.

We can, you know.

And he's like, let's do it.

But I'm like, I'm against it because it's golf.

You should join.

And it would be more than one month.

You really would have from like May till September to do your things.

And in the winter, you could lunch ladies who lunch.

Maybe I really should.

You should.

Okay, I'll think about it.

And they probably have pickleball.

Oh my God.

What are you doing?

I don't know.

And I just missed the summer.

Stupid turdy.

Stupid turdy.

Stupid turdy.

All right, we did it.

We did everything we set out to accomplish today.

Fast five, fruit salad, yummy, yummy, deer toasters, real house size of Beverly Hills.

We can send you guys off into the weekend feeling good.

We can.

Thank you so much for your support, your time, your generosity.

Your generosity.

Thank you so much for listening to the channel.

Let me show you where you deliver the festivals.

I'm so hungry.

Have a great week.

Kudo.

Love you.

Bye.

Bye.