mAiN cHaRacTeR eNeRgY: Monday, September 18th, 2023

Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the toast.

Happy Monday, happy new year.

Hope everybody had a fabulous weekend.

Speaking of fabulous, here I am.

Here she is, Lock Turd.

You guys, you are probably shocked that turd ex flamingo's ex-Florida Studio X Jacks ex-original recipe is happening today.

I was supposed to be home today.

But in a not so shocking turn of events, even though it was shocking given the circumstances, but this happens every time you're here, so I'm sure the toasters aren't surprised.

No, but Turdy extended her stay.

I did, but of course I had to do so in like the most dramatic way.

Right.

I'm packing up.

I leave.

I get in the Uber.

Harry's literally in the driveway waving to his auntie.

Koja, Koja.

What do I do in the car?

I cry.

And then what do I do?

I call Ben and I say, Ben, I don't think I could do it.

Ben says, what if I come down?

Literally, I'm like halfway to the airport.

I'm like, I'm so sorry, sir.

I forgot something.

We have to turn around.

And then I like came back and I didn't tell anyone.

And I was like, so dramatic.

I like walked through the door with my bags.

It's literally like, what's the, what's that movie?

It's from friends.

Like, I got off the plane.

That was literally me.

And like, honestly, everybody was like,

like, I, I didn't feel like I was being dramatic because everybody was like, she's here.

Wait, what are you doing?

What's wrong?

Like, everybody was feeding into like my dramatic fantasy.

And it made the whole thing worth it.

It was a very exciting thing.

I woke up to it because I fell back asleep after the early AM feeding.

And I was looking through the family chat.

Claudia had left.

She sent a picture of herself in the Uber crying.

And then I'm nursing on my bed.

I still haven't gotten up yet, like for the day.

And I hear Claudia's voice like coming down my hallway.

I'm like, Claudia?

But I figured, actually, it's probably Olivia sounding like Claudia.

Or maybe like somebody's playing a video of mine.

Maybe.

And then she walked in the door.

I was like, what?

No, like one thing about me, like, my life is a movie.

Like, my life is a film.

Are you saying you're giving main character energy?

No, I wouldn't say that I'm giving main character energy.

One, because only losers say that.

And to be honest, no main character has like really actually ever said that like not to be a bitch um and two i'm not giving main like i am you know the main character you can give something that you already are if that makes sense but i feel like i'm the main character why would she say i mean you're definitely like the main character of your life i feel like it's one of those movies like you know there's two main characters valentine's day

or love actually where there's a lot of main characters i disagree i disagree i think it's like the type of movie with two main like it's it's romy and michelle yeah like they're both like honestly i couldn't even really say who's better romie or michelle no it's not about who's better it's about who's the main character either they're really 50 50.

but it just begs the question like who did you like better romy or michelle like michelle

better zest for life but like she was living in a fantasy and like she was they both were no but like romie at least like had a grip on reality i felt like romy was like always kind of shielding michelle from like the real story but romy was the reason that they got themselves into such trouble because romy cared so much what other people thought whereas michelle was just going with the flow and she wasn't ashamed of their life you know and she would have been happy to show up at the reunion yeah so just as who she was it was Romy who wanted bigger and better for them who wanted more than her station you're so right you're so right so so I guess there was one who was better Michelle yeah well you thought it was Romy so you I didn't say I thought it was Romy I'm saying arguments could be made for both yeah even though like obviously Romy

like ushered them through life but she took a lot of wrong terms it's true but you know it's already got somewhere it's true it's true I don't know that they would get anywhere I don't know if they would would have had a roof over their heads had it not been for Rome.

Right.

Okay.

I'm glad we got to the bottom of that.

Both are important.

So it was a fabulous weekend.

We celebrated the Jewish New Year.

Happy Rosh Hashanah to everyone.

And what's even more fabulous about it is since we were all together for the holiday, we vlogged not once, but twice.

Part two will be going up today, correct?

Part two is going up today.

So part one went up on Saturday.

It was Olivia's night of Rosh Hashanah.

She hosted night one.

And Claudia Marco took us behind the scenes of her kitchen, which I loved watching because I didn't get to see her cooking process.

I wish I watched it before I made my night because then I could see how she did her brisket because you kept telling me what she was doing.

But she did night one.

The vlog is so amazing.

So many steams.

I pop in for a second, but I'm not the main character.

Definitely not.

I'm like not even supporting.

I'm an extra.

You're a background actor for sure.

I'm just giving extra.

No, you're like man and taxi, you know?

Because you had a line.

No, I'm woman with baby.

By the way, you're literally breastfeeding mama.

I'm woman with baby in vlog number one.

But in vlog number two, the witch drops today, I'm the star.

I'm the main character energy.

And I'm kind of like Remy, the ratatouille, the rat of all my dreams.

I'm kind of like the rat in your ear in the kitchen.

Yeah, you are the supporting Remy actor, I would say.

If they were giving Oscars for vlogs, like I would be nominated for best actress.

And I would be best supporting actress.

But I would also be nominated in like director category and perhaps like stage design.

Yeah, and maybe like writer girl.

Writer, girl.

Yeah.

Okay, that's fair.

So then part two.

There's room for everyone.

There is room for everyone.

So I won't spoil it, but night two, like we were coming off of Olivia's amazing hosting of night one.

Honestly, when we got home from her dinner, we were like, why did we even bother?

Yeah.

And we were following this kind of, I would say advanced recipe for a brisket.

For a brisket from Jay Cohen's new cookbook.

And I won't lie, like we were cursing J.

Cohen's name in our sleep.

Well, I don't want to spoil

anything.

The vlog is one hour of Claudia and I'm going to be a picture.

It's one hour of Claudia and I cooking a six-pound brisket.

And it is it's cinematic old and it's dropping today so that's at patreon.com slash the toast not only are we cooking a six pound brisket but we are in foul moods like really foul Jackie was obviously just like overtired from being a mother and I feel like we're usually trying to be positive when we're feeling foul we're cooking the brisket at midnight yeah it was

It was one of the worst experiences of my life, but it was all worth it because we got a vlog out of it.

Right.

And we had a brisket for better or for worse.

You'll have to find out.

You'll have to find out how the brisket turned out, but that'll be fun and that was going up today so it was an eventful weekend really eventful so much fun in the sun so much fun in the sun so much time with the kids so many core memories i'm just like tick tock jargon girl today yeah you're like delayed like all these things like popped off like a year ago but no but they're still part of the vernacular kind of it was core memory building season over here at at the ashray wine reb shapiro software household um

And it was sad, obviously, because like Ben wasn't here.

He spent Rosh Hashanah with his family, but he got here last night.

And I'm just trying to do it all over again, like making new core memories with Uncle Ben.

So you're saying you want to start all over.

You know, I don't know if you listened to Ben's most recent episode on the toast, but he was saying he's like in love with Olivia Rodrigo.

He like loves her music.

It's so Ben.

It's like rockery.

And he's been listening to her album so much.

And he gets in bed last night.

And I was reading and listening to music.

And Olivia Rodrigo's album was on.

And Ben, like.

He thought he was about to make the most sick call ever.

He's like, he points to the screen.

He's like, this song,

you're going to freak out.

It sounds just like Start All Over by Miley Saures.

I'm like, we know.

Like everyone's talking about it.

We know.

Yeah.

She's going to have to give another writing credit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I'm like, no, no, we know.

Thanks for joining us.

Like, he thought he had a fire point and I shut him down.

That's good.

That's to destroy a man's confidence before noon.

That's really good for your marriage.

Yeah.

And speaking of my marriage, we celebrated our sixth year anniversary yesterday, which was why Ben flew down.

I was going to come home early and he was like, let me just, it was like a whole thing, whatever.

And I got him a gift.

Did you you see my gift?

I did.

I got him a cameo.

Cameo is honestly sometimes like the best gift.

I told him, I'm like, no, I don't want to be a girl.

There's a time and a place.

I don't want, like, I think between like Hanukkah, birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's Day, like, what I'm supposed to drop so much money and Ben's supposed to drop so much money on me.

I honestly find gift giving to be incredibly wasteful.

So, we haven't been like in our gift giving era.

Sustainable turdy.

Well, yeah, I am turning 30 next year and I do like want something big.

So, just make sure he takes care of that.

For sure.

Do you have any ideas in mind?

Because he's always asking, but I can't.

You have a trip, honestly.

Oh, you want an experience?

Maybe.

Okay.

So

we don't really do gifts anymore.

I honestly, I just find it such a waste of money.

But this year, I got him a cameo, which is like a gag gift, even though it was like kind of pricey.

Was it?

Yeah.

I mean, he must have upped his price.

I got him a cameo from Rick Hoffman, who we all know as Lewis Litt from Suits.

And we also know him as an upcoming character in the Thanksgiving movie, which we can't stop.

I'm sure that his price went up because Suits is number one on Netflix right now.

Right.

So I think all in all is like a little under $300 between like taxes, Apple fees all that stuff um he delivered it in a couple of days it was three minutes long it was so thoughtful and funny and honestly it made ben laugh so much if you're like in your suits era with your husband right now like get him a gift like ben was dying there was something like inherently you and i were talking about this i think privately uncomfortable about receiving a cameo i find it really hard to receive cameos and you've gotten me i've gotten a few cameos over the years from all different kinds of celebrities and i haven't found like a cameo that i enjoy receiving.

I got her one from Man Tai Tea when she became obsessed with that documentary.

Yeah, which was so like cute and thoughtful.

Like, I just like died listening to it.

I can't explain it.

I've got, you got me one from Carlin.

Carlin from the Real House Was a Salt Lake City.

It's probably my best one that I've received, but I have like a really hard time receiving cameos.

And then one time, like, Damon John made me one.

Yep.

And Bethany made you one.

And

I,

it has nothing to do with Damon, but like you physically recoiled.

Damon.

Physically recoiled.

Hearing Damon like recite what I, like, he was just

things about me.

I just seriously wanted to die.

By the way, I didn't choose it as a story today, but are you following this Bethany saga?

No.

Okay.

You know, she's like makeup girly, TikTok, like whatever.

She, like, part of her personality on TikTok is that she's so rich, but she shops at TJ Maxx.

And like, I don't know, I guess we're supposed to clap.

And

the one in, I think, in the Hamptons that she goes to, she, like, knows the staff there because she's there all the time.

And she brought them like this big bag of makeup that, you know, she gets so much PR.

And she brought them this big bag of makeup and the ladies were like, oh, thank you.

But like, we were not allowed to accept.

She's like, don't worry, I'll email corporate.

Like, take this.

And she got the whole thing on video.

And it was just like, I think her heart was in the right place, but it was deeply painful and uncomfortable to watch.

And she's being dragged for it, like beyond.

A lot of people said a lot that some of the makeup was used and like, why would you go do that?

And then like to assert your power and be like, I will email your manager.

Like it was giving Karen energy.

And like, but a positive Karen who's trying to do good, but it's...

Like, that's the thing.

I watched the video and like you said, physically recoiled in my seat, but I don't think, you know, her heart was in the wrong place.

Yeah.

But I, I, I just, I can't get, I can't personally get behind doing acts of good deeds and filming them.

Yeah.

Don't do it.

No, don't.

Like, you're not helping.

I, I, like, that's a whole, but then there's this other side of TikTok where people, um, there are a lot of videos of people doing good deeds and they're amazing to watch.

Yeah.

And, and you know that like because they film them, they get money from it.

And then they like do this thing where it's like when a lot of people I follow, they do this thing where when they make $1,000 in the TikTok creator fund, they'll give that as one big tip to like a server or somebody working at, you know, like a barista.

And so you need the videos in order to do the actual good deeds.

But something like that with Bethany, like honestly, like just don't.

Like that's the lesson I think here for Bethany.

Yeah.

So I guess we can't make any blanket statements like don't do good in video.

Right.

It's a case-by-case situation.

But you just use your judgment like most things.

Like most things.

But I didn't choose that as a story.

Good.

I don't know why like Bethany making waves and her videos and stuff like just doesn't do it for me.

Positive or negative.

No, I feel that.

She's definitely in like a weird wave of her career.

Yeah.

Where she's kind of becoming like tabloid fodder.

Yeah, but she seems to be enjoying herself.

Yeah.

And the more like, I don't think any amount of backlash is going to stop her from doing what she's doing.

She kind of like lives for it.

She does.

And she's also, she's like uncancelable.

Like she's a very successful person her now like second wind as a creator of some sorts is definitely making her money but it's borderline like a hobby so it's not like you can all stop watching her videos and she'll not have you know money to put on the table like right she's in a weird position where she really is like not cancelable but i guess that also makes whatever she's doing very authentic to her because she's not saying anything to appease anyone that's true that's always interesting it is

If you're interested.

It's just like a little, a little amuse-boosh, you know, not a story, but a little amuse.

Ooh, a little little teaser story.

I don't know what the stories are.

We're doing a swap today.

We are.

Because I was running so late this morning.

So Claudia picked the stories and actually some of the ads that we have today.

Jackie's really passionate about.

And they asked for me.

They did.

Let's talk about that like ongoing trend in our business where certain brands are reaching out asking for Jackie to read the ads.

It's hurtful.

Like, have I not done a good job these last six years?

But it makes sense because they're brands that really only I am using.

Yeah, of course.

I mean, Dreamland Baby Swaddle, of course.

Right.

And we have two today.

One of them, like, yeah, they definitely

chose you over found favor because they know how passionate i am about the brand and you know what that's okay and sometimes i don't get to exercise my passions about the ads because like we hit the timer and it's time to move on yeah so today i get to share everything i'm and there are a couple brands in here i'm really passionate about i'm not going to say which ones because i don't know which ones i'm not passionate about right um also i am unfortunately going to have to leave your house at some point because my book club meets this week and i'm about halfway through the book i don't know if i updated everyone on the book that i chose you didn't but are you going to read somewhere is that what you're saying?

You're going to have to leave my house?

No, I have to leave because book club is meeting and I have to make the meeting.

I never thought a book club could be a negative thing.

I know.

I know.

I never thought I would, you know, find disfavor with your book club.

So if you followed me on Instagram, I had four books.

Jackie had recommended, Codename Helene.

I wanted to do, I think,

pretty much landed on historical fiction.

So I got a bunch of recs.

Whittled it down to four and I posted on my Instagram to have everyone vote for which would be the one that I chose.

And for some reason, I ended up choosing the one with the least amount of votes.

Why?

I don't know.

I just read the description and I was like compelled by it.

And you followed your heart.

I followed my heart.

And you know, I'm on this like kind of like history journey where I like low-key know nothing about history.

It's actually embarrassing.

And when I've been reading a lot of World War II books, I've kind of been focusing on different countries.

Like when I read The Rose Code, I learned all about England during World War II.

When I read The Nightingale, I learned all about France.

And then one of the books that I had thought about reading was Italy.

And I was like, what was going down in Italy?

Like, I had no idea.

I knew England when I read The Rose Code.

I knew England was like a main character of World War II.

Then when I read The Nightingale, I'm like, what the hell did go down in France?

Turned out they just like rolled over and let

and let the Nazis come in.

And then I'm like, what happened with Italy?

So you know what?

I was like, I feel like this is a good journey for me.

Yeah.

It's 600 pages though, which is a lot.

I'm 50% through.

It's an incredibly compelling story.

I will say, I do think the book requires the basic background, like minimal knowledge on like the main characters in Italy during the war.

Do you have those?

No, but let me tell you what I do have, a Kindle.

And I was talking to my friend from Book Club last night.

He's like, oh, I decided to read it hardcover.

I'm like, you know what?

I think that was a mistake because do you know how many things I have highlighted and read the Wikipedia on just because the author does not do a good job of like giving background in that?

People or both.

Terms.

Terms, like a lorry.

What the?

Just say truck.

There were so many lorries.

Lori this, lorry that.

German lorries, German lorries and after about the 10th time i'm like i thought i would read it and then they would explain it like i would figure it out context clues what the fuck is a lorry it's a truck okay so so it's not beginner it's not beginner and it's a true story about this guy named pinolella and it's an incredibly compelling story like i don't know what ended up happening to happening to him but he had this amazing story like it's like one of the untold journeys of the war and i just feel like the writer is doing everything he can to like make it not compelling He's like, it's

not doing the story justice, but the story is so good that the book is still good.

But had I realized at the time that the book was written by a man, I wouldn't have chosen it.

Like, I'm going to say something crazy right now.

Writing is for girls.

Like,

men are not good writers.

I literally have only read a handful of books by men and they stink.

And they get like special treatment, the men.

The silent patient, everyone's like the best book.

Like it was, you know, covered wall to wall, every bookstore, every Goodreads.

Stunk it up.

Stunk it up.

Like the bar is low for the man.

I'm not reading books by men anymore.

It's not for them.

I respect your opinion.

I think writing is for everyone.

And I disagree because I feel like the books I've read by men are so good

because all of the books I read are by women.

So there's going to be a lot more variation.

But when something by a man like comes across my desk, like it usually is good because all of the books I see are like the women are platformed more.

I like I like I think men like genuinely can't write.

And then it makes me question like the great writers, you know.

Like Shakespeare, do you think it was bad?

I think like if there had been equal opportunity in writing for women during, you know, Hemingway's time, during William Shakespeare's time, like, and I think if we had put the best female writer up against Shakespeare, like honestly, I think Shakespeare wouldn't have stood a chance.

Like, this is just a theory I have because men can't write.

Like, they're literally not good at it.

It's just a thought.

Let me know in your comment, and like in the comments, do you think men can write?

Well, for certain genres, I

would prefer a woman.

Oh my God, I would never read like a romance novel by a man.

Like literally, who cares?

I know, but like these women are so delusional.

That's what makes it good.

It's fantasy, Jackie.

I know, but it's like, I think we're leading people down an unrealistic path.

Ooh, hot tape.

And I think like everyone's just like sitting around waiting.

So you mean that boss of yours who's a billionaire is not going to come into my tiny square, like 10 foot square, 10 square foot apartment and offer me to be the president because he sees something in me.

The president and his wife.

But of course, president and in turn, his wife.

Yeah.

You don't think that's going to happen?

No, I think we're setting unrealistic standards for young women.

No, that's the thing.

What's so great about romance novels?

Like it's really, like, it's so unrealistic that it's, it's fantasy.

Yeah.

Honestly, some of the romance.

Jackie, some of you.

No, no, no, some of the romance books I read, like, really should be categorized under fantasy.

Some people haven't gotten that memo, though, yet.

So, like, they're sitting around waiting for their Christian Gray to walk through the door.

Totally separate.

Like, tangent,

you look gorgeous.

Like, really stunning.

And Jackie's wagging her hair oh naturale today because she came out into the kitchen.

She's like, I have to do my hair.

I'm like, no, you don't.

It looks gorgina.

I'm loving this half up, half down, fresh face, all white.

Like it's giving.

What is it giving?

Hold on.

I want to find the perfect word.

Okay.

It's giving.

What is the word I'm looking for?

Maybe I'm not the good writer.

It's...

well, first of all, it's giving luxury, the whole look.

Oh my God, thank you.

But your face, it's giving unbridled

peace, if that makes sense.

Maybe that's because my wonderful turdy loose stayed a few more days.

Maybe.

I'm feeling at peace.

And we had a great weekend.

But thank you.

Yes, I'm wearing my hair natural because Claudia was like, no, it looks so good.

It really does.

And I didn't know if it was because she wanted to get the show on the road because we're running a little late today.

because I was running a little late today.

But you know what?

It is what it is.

Let's give her a shot.

My natural hair, I can't recall the last time I wore it natural on the show.

I do want to be completely honest.

Like part of me telling you to wear your natural hair was like, I want to get my day started.

Like, let's get the show on the road.

But I never would have let you like walk out with ugly hair.

Your hair actually looks beautiful.

So it helped my case that you not doing your hair moved things along.

Got it.

It's just being honest, if I'm going to be honest.

I appreciate your honesty.

Oh, we need to talk about also another major, major like life-altering update from this weekend.

Two things.

Okay.

We stayed number one on the podcast charts the entire weekend.

Everybody loved our Friday episode.

Friday's episode hit number one as well because the other episode of ours that hit number one Wednesday, it was audio only, which means that we had a couple extra movers and shakers propping us to the top.

But then Friday, we're back on YouTube.

So we split the audience again, which we're happy to do.

We're happy to take the hit.

But our courage was rewarded because we were number one.

And not only was it rewarded, it was rewarded double time because it turns out a little birdie named aaron rogers saw our instagram post about

about content we should suggest to him to listen to while he heals and he liked our rendition of the sun is rising by britt nicole he liked it he liked the reel he liked it physically and i think

emotionally too because i don't think he would like it physically if he didn't like it emotionally because he seems like the kind of guy who means what he says and it just begs the question like is aaron rodgers in love with us

sorry aaron we're taken i don't know my wedding ring hasn't been fitting recently.

Same.

For different reasons.

Physically, it hasn't been fitting, but emotionally, not really either because I've been so transfixed on like my relationship with Aaron Rodgers.

Hmm.

He's single.

I know.

Last I heard.

Last I heard on the toast.

Okay.

One other thing to say.

One other thing.

Because as fall...

turns and the leaves change, we are getting closer and closer to my book being released.

Oh my God.

And not us being like women who don't support female authors.

We have not spoken about your book.

It's disgusting.

We haven't spoken about my book in a little while.

I've had a lot going on.

A ton.

But now it's time to rev it up.

Yeah.

Prepare to be sick of me.

Prepare to be sick of me because my debut book, which is a children's book, is coming out on October 10th.

It's called The Camper and the Counselor.

And I'm so, so, so excited.

I still read it every single day and night to Harry.

He loves it beyond words.

And I'm so excited for all of you to get your hands on it.

And here's why you should get it for a multitude of reasons.

One, if you like this show, like support your girl and her debut, of course.

But if you have a child in your life, whether it be a daughter, a son, a niece, a nephew, a cousin, whatever, you know something.

Grandchild.

Grandchild, someone who feels like family, but you don't even know.

Godchild.

Godchild.

You want to give them this book because like it's actual joy in a book.

First of all, it rhymes.

And, you know, as a very involved auntie, I'm seeing the trend in children's literature is moving away from rhyming.

And I think that's the wrong choice.

And I think it's wrong for the kids.

I think it's, you know, neglectful in my opinion.

And Jackie wasn't going to let that happen.

She said, this book is going to rhyme whether you fuckers like it or not.

And not only does it rhyme, it bounces.

Like you could just be reading that book.

You could read that book and your shoulder, you won't even notice your shoulder's just like the Wendy Kimprops gives me goosebumps and chills.

Come here, I yell as we pull into the drive.

We've made it to Kimp.

I'm so glad to arrive.

Like it has melodic qualities.

It has rhythm.

It has the beat.

It'll bring joy to your kids.

And if you like love a child in your life, like why would you want to make them unhappy?

Give them the book.

Give them the book.

You can search it on Amazon.

I'm available everywhere.

Barnes ⁇ Noble, Indiebound.

Go to thecamperandthecounselor.com.

The camperandcounselor.com will direct you to where you could get it.

And you could still get a signed copy via Talk Shop Live.

You can.

So that's really exciting.

October 10th, Prepare to Be Sick of Me.

And I hope.

that you get the book and that you're going to love the book.

That'll be so exciting when that comes out and we get like so many pictures and videos on Instagram of like kids loving the book.

No, and I'm so excited because right now I've only teased the first few pages.

So people don't like know the plot.

The plot.

I really don't want to give too much away, but I'm just really excited for when people finish the book.

It has twists and turns.

It does, highs and lows.

It's not what you expect.

But it's not too scary.

Oh, of course not.

No, no, no.

There's just like.

It's for children of all ages.

Yeah, I would say zero to eight because I've been reading it to Harry since since he was born because that was when I wrote the first draft when I was nine months pregnant.

And as he gets older, he loves it more and more.

But it's also great for kids who are going to camp for the first time and might be feeling a little trepidatious.

Homesick.

And that's at eight years old.

I don't want to spoil it, but like camper does, you know, experience a bout of homesickness.

She goes through some shit.

Yeah.

No, she's kind of like a little all over the place, but that's why we love her.

Yeah.

She's happy.

She's sad.

It's like, get it together, girl.

And that's why she needs counseling.

Enter Counselor Snitch.

Counselor Snitch.

And you don't need to be familiar with this podcast too.

If you like understood, if you've never understood why I call Margo Counselor or Counselor Snitch, it doesn't, it's irrelevant to the story.

It's just Counselor Snitch is in the book.

And and thankfully she was inspired by margo yeah so it'll be fabulous but she has a bit of everyone in her she better yeah she better

so i'm excited about that check it out me too and now without further ado now i feel as though we can get into the fast five stories that you need to know but Again, I spoke too soon because there are some things I need to let you know.

I spoke too soon.

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Now, I just want to say, you know, I love Babel because of the way that it's, the name of it is, you know,

Tower of Babel, which is reminding me of this TikTok trend that I want to talk about.

Oh, sure.

The Roman Empire.

Yeah.

Which everyone is asking their husbands how often they think about the Roman Empire because apparently men think about the Roman Empire almost every day.

I see a theory on TikTok that like grown men are constantly thinking of the Roman Empire.

And people are filming themselves asking their husbands and boyfriends and they're being like, honestly, like a couple times a week.

Yeah.

And I was not convinced that Ben would feel the same.

And I did it last night.

He was like, he didn't even know what the Roman Empire was.

Same with the history of the world.

I didn't know what the fuck it was either.

I knew for a fact that my husband wasn't thinking about the Roman Empire.

Yeah, once a week.

Nothing in life is guaranteed, but I knew for a fact.

But I knew for a fact.

But that's how I feel about the Tower of Babel.

So now the question has been posed on TikTok: what is the female equivalent of the Roman Empire?

Like what historical tragedies or mysteries do plague women?

And some of the answers are Helen Keller,

the Titanic that's what I was gonna say um Chernobyl

Chernobyl but I feel like people didn't know a lot about Chernobyl until that show came out so how are you really thinking about

the titanic is like the perfect answer yeah I was I said the titanic we were talking about at dinner the tower of babel for me for you the holocaust the holocaust I was gonna say the holocaust but I think that's exclusive to like Jewish women Let us know.

Yeah.

If you're not a Jewess.

How often do you think about the Holocaust?

Probably every day.

Definitely.

By the way, I definitely think think about the Holocaust every day.

I probably think about the Tower of Babel once a week.

I've actually never thought of it in my life.

Like, that's so crazy.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

But, like, just if your man isn't thinking about the Roman Empire, like, it's okay.

I just, I didn't see anyone else posting like that their husbands had no idea what that was.

Like, let me ask you a question.

What's the Roman Empire?

Like, when?

Oh, I.

It's in Rome?

It's in Rome, and it was like the greatest civilization up until that point.

And I guess since then.

But then it collapsed.

But after like hundreds of years, how did it collapse?

You know, got too big for its britches.

Man, that's so us right now.

Like, that's what's going to happen to us.

Yeah.

Totally.

Yeah.

Okay.

But a lot of it, like, advances and technology.

Technology.

Technology, but like medicine, mathematics, architecture, a lot of it comes from Rome.

So I think like when people see, you know, arches or highways, that's when men are like always thinking about the Roman Empire.

Interesting highways?

Not highways, but like, I don't know.

Cause Because Shapiro said when he's on the highway or something, he thinks Shapiro thinks about the Roman Empire.

There was like a thing that makes him think, or some one of the videos I saw

because there are things in everyday life that like came from the Roman Empire.

So that's when these men are in this room came from the Roman Empire.

Why don't you search Roman Empire inventions?

It's also like concepts, you know.

Inventions,

Roman Empire.

Okay, here.

10 inventions to thank the Roman Empire for from graylinerome.com.

Cement.

Okay, right.

So he's on the highway.

The aqueduct.

They didn't invent the idea of transporting water.

They were primitive canals and other water transportation systems in place before ancient Roman times, but they harnessed the idea, developed and refined it using their engineering skills to build the aqueduct.

So that's like plumbing.

No, well, sanitation.

That's a Roman Empire.

thing that they gave us.

They brought clean water into cities and towns and they kept waste away from clear, clean water.

They also developed sewers to take waste out of the cities.

Oh, wow.

they use i'm gonna start thinking about the roman empire they use the water from the aqueducts to flush the sewers and the drains many of the homes in the city were connected to a sewerage sewer sewerage structure so plummeting oh roads that's why shapiro said highway got it social care and welfare Ancient Roman administrations developed welfare type programs.

They developed laws that provided money to help feed and educate orphans and poorer children from society.

The Julian calendar, which is 365 days a year.

Elements of surgery.

Wow, they were lit back in the day.

They built on the developments that the Greeks made in surgery.

They developed many new surgical tools and techniques.

They used an early form of antiseptic in surgery.

And they acknowledged that you need to clean and dip your surgical tools before use.

They developed the idea of the Caesarean section.

And they pioneered battlefield surgery.

And for them, being prepared to medically help their soldiers was a key part of being battle ready.

Elements of the modern legal system are also from the Romans.

The concept of being innocent until proven guilty.

Oh, that's so interesting.

And newspapers and public press.

The postal service.

Okay, that's it.

That was 10.

That's it.

I'm sure there's more.

Right.

So now you know, I guess men are always thinking about those things.

Oh, of course.

Roman numerals.

The newspaper.

Yeah.

Yeah, all these are, oh, the arches.

You're right.

They invented arches.

Aqueducts.

Okay, all these things are saying the same thing.

I just want to make sure we miss anything.

Concrete,

roads.

Oh,

like

books, but in the way that we know them now, like with covers and rounded shape, yeah, the shape of books.

Like, books invented were like before, but that's a lot.

And so, when we talk, we're talking Romans, we're talking about like Julius Caesar, right?

Yeah, amongst others.

This is like such a dumb question.

Like, I'll be like actually mortified if you agree.

Julius Caesar feels fictional?

Yeah, but like, those were real people, Caesar.

Yeah, it's not a a book.

No, but I think it was.

I think it's like a

there's a fictional word.

Not a fictional, but like.

Somebody like, there's a book.

It's not Shakespeare?

I think it's Shakespeare.

Yeah, the Eyes of March are copy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Search Julius Caesar Shakespeare just to confirm.

But that does make it feel fictional.

Wow, the iPad is listening to us, like literally first saying, I wrote William Shakespeare.

Julius Caesar.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He wrote a story about Caesar because he was always thinking about the Roman Empire.

Because he was a man.

Now here's my question.

Like we were in school with all these boys who

were obsessed with the Roman Empire.

And it's like, when did they learn all these things about the Roman Empire that stuck with them?

Because like I was in the same class and I have really not

very at best like grasp.

What I've shared today is all I learned.

Right, right.

So like, what are they watching?

Maybe there was like, no, it sounded like they were like secret meetings with boys to talk about the Roman Empire.

Or like, were they all jazzed in sixth grade about this social studies lesson about the Roman Empire?

Like, when did the obsession start?

And where are they learning about it now in present day?

I don't know.

Because that's something I could get into.

You know, I like to fall down a historical rabbit.

I could go for the Roman Empire, but what are the best Roman shows?

Sound off in the comments.

Sound off in the comments.

Where could we learn more?

All right.

Our first story, a little bit of an update.

Ashton Kutcher has resigned as chairman of his anti-sex abuse organization, Thorne, over the Danny Masterson character statement.

So he's stepping back from his leadership role at Thorne, which is an anti-human trafficking organization, which was co-founded by Ashton.

The star and producer resigned as board chair in a letter to the board published to the organization's website on Friday.

The letter cited Kutcher and Mila Kunis' character letter for convicted rapist and fellow That 70 show star Danny Masterson.

Here's what he wrote.

After my wife and I spent several days of listening, personal reflection, learning, and conversations with survivors and the employees in leadership at Thorne, I have determined the responsible thing for me to do is resign as chairman.

of the board effective immediately.

I cannot allow my error and judgment to distract from our efforts and the children we serve.

Victims of sexual abuse have been historically silenced and the character statement I submitted is yet another painful instance of questioning victims who are brave enough to share their experiences.

This is precisely what we have all worked to reverse over the last decade.

The mission must always be the priority and I want to offer my heartfelt apology to all victims of sexual violence and everyone at Thorne who I know who I hurt by what I did and to the broader advocacy community.

I am deeply sorry.

So this to me makes no sense.

Like actually yeah, I think it makes sense and it makes no sense because.

It's like, okay, you harm the community, so now you're going to help them less.

No, I know.

I actually think him stepping down from this organization that he started, like he didn't have to step down.

It's his like company.

He does it.

Like this company actually does like amazing life-saving work.

And like he doesn't want his.

bullshit to be like for people now to doubt the organization or for the right the organization's reputation to like who would doubt the organization some haters on twitter they can still do that i think like in the advocacy community this is like a really big scandal like it's a big scandal for us of course, but like but if the work is the work.

The work is the work.

I agree.

But I actually can respect like him.

Actions speak louder than words.

I can respect him not wanting like his scandal right now to affect this company that he's built over the last 10 years.

Like I can actually, I can understand that line of thinking.

Okay.

What I don't understand is like...

So he's not going to work for it anymore?

So the company will not have like his whatever he contributes,

money, connections, and whatever.

Like.

No, what I don't understand is like,

so he's, so they have completely reneged on the letter.

Like them writing the letter was kind of this brave choice.

They had to have thought it through extensively before deciding to do it.

And just in an instant,

they

like, I don't, I just said that to me to me.

So they didn't know they're, they've worked in advocacy for 10 years.

They've built this organization and they didn't know the harm in writing that letter.

Like they knew and it was a tough position and they decided to do it.

But now they're like, oh, I'm sorry, I wish I didn't do it.

Let me like, let me like erase everything I've ever done and change my whole life.

Cause I wrote it right.

But so now, you know, the theory that

they were blackmailed into it, it's like the only way I can really seriously like understand this story.

I, I just don't understand them like as people right now.

Yeah.

Like stand for something.

Like this is so, I feel unnecessary and crazy to me that they would really like just continue to just

debase themselves like you okay like you wrote the letter but this is your company and you want to help victims of sexual violence walking away

like so do the work and help them don't do less work yeah no that's actually a very fair way of looking at it that's how that's how i read it which is like okay the whole time yes you wrote the letter but we can always use their advocacy work to show how much they rarely

and support victims so now you're not going to support the victims anymore so you really don't you're it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy prophecy I think like a lot of people expected this.

I think of it as like a PR move.

I think it's a horrible PR move.

I thought the apology was a horrible PR move.

I think everything that they're doing is horrible PR moves.

And I really can't believe that there are people advising them.

And even the two of them themselves that can't be smart enough to see that they are literally like ruining their reputations by standing for absolutely nothing.

And now they're taking away from themselves like the one good thing that they were doing.

Yeah.

No, I completely.

And it's like, if he's stepping down in name only and still going to work behind the scenes and provide everything he's providing to the organization, then this is just a lie.

A lie and phone, like, so what, what would you have said would have been the best?

They wrote the letters and everybody found out.

Right.

What would you do?

A strong statement about who they are, what they do, and why they did, what, why they made the decision that they made, as best as they could explain it to people who will never understand.

I think they should have just shut the fuck up.

Like, write the letters.

You obviously, I can't diminish the position they were put in being asked to write those letters by danny's family and like his daughter i imagine that was incredibly difficult like i can respect that it was a hard decision and they came to the conclusion that they were going to write the letters

we would not be talking about it today we would have talked about it last week when it came out and be like oh this is crazy we would have

wondered we would have been like oh what a crazy time i wonder why they did it i wonder what we would have wondered but we wouldn't know as much as we know now and i think we would not still be talking about it it would be something we moved on from they would be pretty unmarred by it and then like you know it would would be one of those things we always like, be like, how crazy was that?

Yeah, that was a weird thing.

Yeah.

But even they then apologize.

Yeah.

And they should have let it end with that.

I don't know what's going on behind the scenes for them, what's going on in the advocacy world, but they're two people who don't really need a lot of the

internal politics that other people, like they have the money, they have the clout, they have the friends and people who will help them.

If not, they don't even need help.

They can do all of this work with

on their own.

So I don't know why they keep dragging it down

and just like they keep like hitting themselves how it's against the wall like bad ashton bad it's like

no you made a decision

what it was it the one i would have made no but you made a decision stick with it yeah like stand by what really

what

from this this experience we've what have we learned what do they stand for I don't know.

Now they don't even stand for thorns

that work that they do.

And I think

how do they have one fan left?

They've pissed off off everyone, everyone with every opinion about what they did.

Nobody is watching this being like, Ash and Emil are doing the right thing.

No, it's like, it's very poorly handled.

Yeah.

Which is so crazy because you know they have the best of the best crisis PR publicists.

And I just, I don't know.

I feel like.

Someone is intentionally blowing up their careers.

And I feel the same way about probably what's our next story about the shows that were coming back that are no longer coming back.

Where it's like, why are people.

Would you like to go to the next story?

Go to the next story.

Cause Because it feels like people are seriously like deciding to blow up their career.

Yes.

Because they're just done with it.

Because they're the board.

No.

So Drew Barrymore has now decided to pause her talk show following the backlash amid the strikes.

I'm not going to read this article.

Here's what happened.

She said she was bringing her show back.

She did it in like a very weird, wishy-washy, like granola statement that really didn't explain her reasonings.

Yeah.

So there was backlash.

And I think it was part and due to the fact.

that people just didn't understand why she was doing it.

Had she given a good reason, i.e.

Bill Maher, Bill Maher's bringing a showback.

People aren't writing.

He wrote a Facebook post because his listeners are quite old.

And he was like, Listen, I sympathize with the writers.

I'm on their team, but there are hundreds of other people who work for my show who are not protected by a union, who are going broke in solidarity with this union.

And like, they need to work.

And so I'm bringing my show back without writers.

I'm not going to do my monologue because that's what the writers are.

The show won't be as good because I don't have writers, but you know what?

People will get this.

The show will go on.

It was so clear why he did it.

what his reasonings were.

And you know what?

I could understand it.

Like, actually, I agree.

She, and so then she did another video drew after the backlash that was even less clear she was crying it was uh a mess and then she ended up deleting it so all these big decisions being made this is a million honestly a billion dollar brand she has like with the tv show the makeup she puts out this blurry crying video and deletes it like i can't get behind that and now she's not bringing her show back

And I don't know what crisis PR person in the world would let all this happen.

Would let all this happen.

So I have to imagine she doesn't have PR, but like she's true.

She definitely does.

She has PR.

And what's so funny is, you know who I think doesn't have PR?

Bill Maher.

Yeah.

Bill Maher just wrote out his feelings and his thoughts, and they were concise and clear.

Right, but I feel like Bill Maher gets a lot of backlash for stuff.

Like he knows what he's doing.

He works in politics.

So it's like very, I feel like every time he releases an episode, there's like people for it and against it.

But he never like retracts or whatever.

So he's kind of been through this before.

I think for people who haven't been through like the backlash culture cycle, it's extremely jarring, but you have to stand your ground, especially if you made your decision with good reason.

Right.

How are you going to let like people on Twitter just decide for you?

For you and for your team and your employees, like if you're going to work or if you're not going to work.

Yeah.

The Drew thing is so weird to me.

She just like walked into the fire, got burned, walked out.

I wish the back of the bus walk back.

Like walk out and leave.

Yeah.

She also, she was one of a few shows that were deciding to come back.

Jennifer Hudson was bringing back her talk show, The Talk on CBS.

And the whole

backlash fell on Drew, which isn't fair, but she's the most famous.

Her show was probably the most famous.

And she was the first to do it.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

But like, not to be so rude, like, who watches the talk?

Okay.

So

now all those other shows are following Drew.

They're all pausing too.

No, and I feel like

someone has decided to ruin these people, like these people's careers.

This is so uncharacteristic of Drew.

No sense.

it's such bad strategy it appears as if there's no strategy but i have to imagine for a show this big a celebrity this famous yeah there is some sort of uh team yeah team it looks it looks seriously like chaos like burning down for what for nothing to not even end up doing what you set out to do right Right.

So you're back in the same position, but now everybody hates you and you're back where you started, which was that there was no show.

Right.

And she she never even ended up saying what her reasoning was, but I'm just assuming the exact same reason at Bill Maher.

People need to get paid.

There's people outside of the writers who are going broke in solidarity with the strike.

And we're going to support the strike as much as we can while also keeping lights on and food on the table for a number of other people.

100%.

Like, and I, and.

And the most important thing, and people like, especially like online, are so quick to like use words and labels.

So she's being called a scab, crossing the picket line.

And it's so important important to remember, her bringing her show back, Jennifer Hussein bringing her show back, is not in violation of the strike.

It's a SAG-approved thing.

Right.

So she's literally not breaking any rules, but she's still being labeled.

And who wants to be?

She's breaking like cultural rules.

Right.

In this culture, like those labels stick so hard.

She'll be known as a scab for the rest of her life.

Like, who the fuck wants that?

But you have to think that she knew that that was going to happen when she brought her show back, which was kind of admirable that she did because she was like going to do it.

Because it was like a crazy thing.

It was a crazy thing, but the

livelihoods of the people who work on her show were more important than what people online were gonna call her but i guess that's no longer true so in her third statement since this saga this is what she wrote okay i have listened to everyone and i'm making the decision that's the problem you shouldn't have listened to everyone you should listen to listen to yourself i am making the decision to pause the show's premiere until the strike is over i have no words to express my deepest apologies to anyone i hurt We really need to relax with language.

You didn't stab anyone.

No one got hurt in the Drew Barry Moore crisis of this week.

And of course, her

incredible team who works on the show and has made it what it is today.

She added that she really tried to find a way forward with production as the

film industry enters its fourth month of being on strike.

Sag Aftra joined the Writers Guild of America on the picket line on July 14th.

I truly hope for a resolution for the entire industry very soon, Drew concluded.

So many statements, so little things being stated.

I just didn't see like this year, Drew Barrymore like acting a fool, like so messy.

Yeah, yeah this is a crazy trend yeah to me it's the same thing as Ashton and Mila like you made a choice exactly you can stand by it and you just continue to debase yourself no but you made a choice it wasn't a light choice I'm sure Drew thought really hard she knew there would be some pushback I'm sure she thought really hard about bringing her show back I'm sure Ashton and Mila thought really hard about whether or not they wanted to write these letters they both they both made big decisions really had their own people they're all grown people right

weird something's in the water nobody's working in hollywood and they've all gone mad

um i also want to say i've seen some like you know crying online that like dancing with the stars is uh it's a wga show like they do have writers for like you know tyra banks yeah and so like them returning is like i'm telling you dancing with the stars is never gonna air

they're next it's just a feeling i have are they getting backlash i guess the thing

is there's not one person you can yell at it's not gonna fall on drew no it's not gonna fall on julianne huff right It's not going to fall on Jamie Lynn Spears.

So the backlash will kind of be leveled for everyone, and I think they could withstand it.

That's what I think.

That's a good point.

I'm so excited to get into our next story, but before we do, I have to let you know that today's episode is brought to you by Branch Basics.

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Thank you, Jackie.

That was painful.

All right, ready for our third story.

Oh, some very sad news.

We didn't talk about this on Friday, did we?

Remember having amnesia, huh?

Jackman and his wife?

No.

Okay.

Divorce.

He's devastated, not wearing his ring, 27 years.

Now everyone's like,

obviously everyone's like, dad, he's gay.

Me, I'm like, snitch, get in there.

Oh, yeah.

I heard snitch was spotted outside his building.

That was like an incredibly hot take.

Like, I don't think Hugh Jackman is gay.

Like, he literally works in theater.

If he wanted to, he would.

Like, there's no shame in being gay, especially in the theater.

Like, it's the most welcoming.

And he's in Hollywood.

He's like every single room where being gay.

And I know everyone's like, well, I heard, I don't think he's gay.

Like, if he wanted to be gay, he would be gay.

No, like, why would he be closeted?

At this point in his life, he's like, he's 57.

He's seven.

How old is he?

Hold on.

He's old.

Yeah.

He's 54, excuse me.

She's 67.

I didn't realize she was an older lady.

He was with an older lady.

Yes, I knew that.

Deborah Lee Furness.

It was like always a nice thing about him that he had this like nice hamish-looking wife at home.

And he's like this, you know, Hollywood

heartthrob.

Not to get ahead of myself.

I'm going to add him to the list.

See if there's anyone.

What about Serfia Vergara?

Obsessed.

obsessed i just couldn't see her getting into the theater do you know what i mean like with if you are dating or married to hugh jackman you have to support him he was just you know on music man which was like you have to go every night like honestly it's a lot the theater is not for the faint of heart no it's a lot of like sitting around watching dancing yeah maybe yeah sure the first couple of weeks it's fun but for a life i couldn't do it i think ben said i want to join the theater i'd say call a lawyer i'm out yeah what if he said i want to join the theater but you don't have to attend my performances oh that's fine.

Okay.

It's good to have hobbies.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So this is sad because it's a long-term marriage, but it does open up potential.

And I know that Snitch somewhere is very excited.

Yeah, Margaret Autre is in love with him.

And she doesn't have like a history of like really liking gay men.

No, like that Olivia men.

Like that Olivia Rodrigo song.

All the guys I like are gay.

Like Margaret doesn't have that.

I'm telling you, he's not gay.

No, I don't like I just don't think he would be

gay and not come out.

Like that just doesn't make sense.

And he's, he's a grown man.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't think he's gay.

And, you know, a 27-year marriage is still a success.

Very sad to see it end.

But of course, a world of possibilities are now open for him.

You added him to our list?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's kind of like a younger list.

And he likes an older woman.

We're kind of like, our list is kind of ageist.

Yeah, but not anymore.

Not anymore.

He's, I mean, severely brought.

And Deborah Lee Furness, too.

She's 67.

She'll really bring the, but she's like not famous.

No, it's not fair.

We can't put her up.

We can't put her on.

There's no one on this list for hugh jackman well let's think about some um you know

older ladies so he's 57 so anyone i mean he could go younger

what about reece witherspoon she's married oh no she's divorced she should be on list we kind of need to make like a separate list i know like not to be ageist but like it's less interesting yeah

Okay, maybe.

I don't see Hugh with a fellow star.

I don't either.

That's just because I haven't yet.

Now that I'm looking at pictures of him, like I'm thinking, okay, let's say he's gay.

I don't think we'll ever live in a world where he would come out.

I think he would, like, I think he really loves Deborah Lee.

And to be married for 27 years, like

maybe he would find it like disrespectful to her or like he wouldn't want to like embarrass her.

I just, I don't think he's gay, but if he was, I don't think he would tell us.

At this point.

Right.

But how are you going to like live your life?

I know like that.

I don't know.

I don't know if we'll ever understand Hugh Jackman.

Hold on, there's another article.

Oh, Hugh Jackman and wife addressed rumors that he's gay before, years before splitting.

I just clicked on this link from page six.

And the rumors are just because he's in the theater, not because like...

Anybody saw him sucking dick?

Like, yeah.

So his sexuality has been questioned throughout his career, but he and his now ex-wife, Deborah, were always ready to shut down these rumors.

In 2013, he told Australia 60 Minutes that he felt frustrated over the constant speculation.

He said, it's, to me, not the most interesting thing about a person anyway.

I do get frustrated for Deb because I see Deb go, ah, this is just crazy.

And Deb chimed in and said, if he was gay, fine, he would say he's gay.

It's annoying because it's not true.

In a separate interview with The Hollywood Reporter that same year, Hugh Jackman shared that he, that the rumors about him being gay had started to take a toll on his then wife.

He said, just recently it bugs her.

She goes, it's big, it's everywhere.

He added, noting that the Australian actress would peruse the internet often and spiral afterwards.

However, she later appeared to have a better sense of humor about the chatter surrounding Jackman's sexuality.

During a Q ⁇ A in 2020, the mother of two reportedly quipped of her then husband, he's been gay so many years.

I was gay too.

You know, when I did shame, I was gay.

They were shocked when I got married.

It's like someone saying to Elton John, he's straight.

I'm sure he'd be pissed.

All right, well, if they're talking about it, that didn't really clear anything up.

No, and I think like this is going to be obviously like one of the meaner things that I've said, but it's just like a fact of life.

I think people look at them as a couple and like assume, you know, he's this Hollywood starlet.

He's with like an older, lesser known, you know, she's a beautiful woman, but people think they're ill-matched.

That's what I, and I don't feel that way.

I just want to say, because you're like smiling at me.

Like, just because you said beautiful, those shoes are not

meant to be worn on a beautiful woman.

Right.

I did say it just like her, like with the same intonation and rhythm.

You did, but I can't think of one reason why Hugh Jackman would be gay and not come out.

Well,

it's very possible.

You know, we live in amazing times where, like, you know, there's no shame.

You should be whoever you want to be.

But I don't think you and I could really like understand.

Like, there's so much shame.

And like, most, I would say, you know, gay young men, they conquer the shame in their late teens, early 20s.

And most people come out, but maybe he's still stuck in it.

And I don't think he's gay.

It's like everybody knows him better than he knows himself.

Right.

Right, right.

No, like, I don't think he's gay.

Like, I

don't.

So I don't.

So that's that on that.

Great.

Speaking of

selling.

I don't know.

Katy Perry has sold her catalog rights to Litmus Music.

And guess how much she sold it for?

Did you see it in the...

No.

Guess how much her like catalog of music is worth?

A lot.

Yeah.

300 million.

Yes, 225.

I mean, in this dark economy, she did what you can get.

So after months of rumors, Katy Perry has sold her music to Litmus Music, the Carlisle-backed company co-founded by former capital records president dan mccarroll for a whopping 225 million dollars they announced the deal on monday and includes her stakes in her master recording and publishing rights for the five albums she released between 2008 and 2020 which are one of the boys teenage dream prism witness and smile so crazy like

Teenage Dream and Prism.

Like that's where the value is.

Yeah, Witness, $1.

Smile, zero.

After years as a major superstar during the 2010s, wow, that's how they refer refer to her now, a major superstar during the 2010s.

She has slowed her career, focusing on her residencies in Las Vegas, her philanthropy work, and raising family with her partner, actor Orlando Bloom.

That's interesting because

how much did Justin Bieber sell his music for?

Because I always felt like his was so low.

Your iPad is so fucking loud.

Justin Bieber.

I feel like it was like 300.

And I feel like his should be way more music rough.

More than Katy Perry, you think?

no, because Justin Bieber's like songs are really big, but it's him that's

so valuable.

You know what I mean?

It's like his fan.

That's true.

And the money had been made from those songs already.

200 million plus.

That makes sense to me.

To me, that felt low for him.

He had a lot of big hits, like the more contemporary.

Ever.

Like, he has.

Like, what do you mean?

Even in his like bad boy years, he had like

two enormous hits come out every year.

Yeah.

To me, I remember when I saw this, I felt like it was low.

But to me, 225 for Katy Perry feels right.

But maybe it's because she hasn't released like an actual banger that like changed the wave of music for 10 years.

Actually, the more I think about it, like these are two people who were big megastars in the 2010s.

They probably have the same number of albums.

It tracks.

I actually completely disagree.

I feel like Justin Bieber is so, his music is so current.

Right, but he sold his old stuff.

But, but that includes like peaches, like that includes things of the last couple of years.

Yeah.

Katy Barry has not released a song that anyone listened to in at least seven years.

I listened to When I'm Gone, I'm Never Really.

Okay.

Like that was a collab with Kaigo.

That's not like a big song.

I just added it to my like songs on Spotify.

So for some reason, whenever I think of like masters, I can think about Justin Bieber one because I feel like he did a bad thing.

I think Masters, I hear thing of Taylor.

Well, of course, but we don't know what hers are worth because she never got to buy them.

But I thought we knew how much they were bought for in the 300s.

In the 300s.

Well, it's so crazy is that actually.

So it sounds like everybody,

if Taylor's 300 and Justin's 200, then it sounds like you're saying that Katie got paid a lot more than you think she's working.

But I disagree.

I think I think Katie actually got a very good fair deal.

Fair.

I think Justin Bieber got a bad deal.

Do you think Taylor got a bad deal?

Well, not Taylor.

How much time do you have?

Right.

Well, no, at the time, think about like who she was at the time.

That was like lover time.

She was kind of like a pop star in crisis, like in the lover time.

I think she like didn't really, she was getting older.

She didn't know how to navigate being like a pop star, bubblegum pink, like with being a mature, older woman.

And her songwriting, like the lover era was, and I feel like we talked about that a lot, how like I am now uncovering like elements of the lover era that are so amazing.

And I don't think I took it seriously at the time because it was so corny and it did feel inauthentic to her at the time.

And that's why like Evermore folklore and Midnights did so well because they felt so real to like who she was.

So now I think the entire, her entire catalog of music has to be worth half a a million dollars But at the time I think 300 was a good price Mm-hmm

I also don't know like what do they do with this music when they buy it like what is it actually make money off of it but like how much money and what thing so like I don't actually know Yeah, what you should pay for a song right like I'm just comparing it to other people.

What's that that crazy thing like somebody owns Michael Jackson's music or like Michael Jackson owns the Beatles or Elton Johnson like it's crazy Michael Jackson owns the Beatles Like the rights to a lot of their music.

Yeah.

That's so crazy and bizarre.

Yeah.

So Random, and speaking of Katy Perry, I was just watching an interview with Miranda Kerr where she was just talking about like how much she loves Katy Perry.

And like I'm obsessed with that whole dynamic.

Yeah.

Like Evan Spiegel, Miranda Kerr, Orlando Bloom, Katy Perry, like obsessed.

It's giving blended.

It's giving blended.

But blended.

Beautiful blended.

When I think of like beautiful blended, I think of like a thousand kids.

Like they only just have one kid and they really like do everything they can for the kid.

It's like so nice.

But Miranda and Evan have yeah, no, I'm talking about the shared child between it's Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr's baby, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's why they all have to co-parent like vacations.

And she was talking about how like they plan all their trips, they call Katie.

Like she like really likes Katie because she genuinely does, but because she like made an effort to also.

It was like really sweet.

That is really nice.

And I just like, I'm obsessed with Miranda Kerr.

Yeah.

Like her life is everything.

Okay, we have one more story.

But before we get into that story, passion queen over here.

The passion never ends.

Because I have one more thing to say.

You should say it, Jax.

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Okay, I just want to say, like, for the record, tomorrow, I want to go back to regular.

Like, I don't like reading the stories.

I feel like, like, it just sucks.

Like, I hate it.

Okay.

Do you hate it when you do it?

No, I'm used to it.

Do you hate doing the ads?

No.

So?

I like being in control of the flow of the show.

You think you have more control of the flow of the show?

With the ads, yeah.

I feel like I control the show.

The stories.

Kind of like Romeo and Michelle.

Okay, our fifth and final story.

What's the main character of the toast?

I mean, I don't think we should go there.

Like, it's not good to pit women against other women.

I feel like we go through eras.

Like, you are recently coming out of your main character.

Like, you, like, the last couple of months, like, we're about you, you know.

Oh, really?

But you were like doing something.

I was more physically on camera, yes.

But, like, everyone was like talking and worried about you.

And it's like, I, you know, I'm just like the lowly street rat.

You know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it's interesting to think about.

Kim Kardashian scolds her son Saint for giving the middle finger to paparazzi.

He is seven years old.

So Kim Kardashian was in full mom mode when she scolded her eldest son Saint for using a rude hand gesture.

The Skims founder looked stern when she noticed that the seven-year-old holding his middle finger up to the paparazzi after leaving his basketball game on Friday in Los Angeles.

The mother of four

stepped out in a strapless top and high-waisted jeans alongside her son.

Why do we care what she's wearing?

The youngster, Saint, was wearing his white basketball jersey.

You just had to hit a word count.

I know.

Like he was wearing a white basketball jersey when the tree.

It's so hard of doing the stories where you have to, like, you know, read quickly and jump.

Okay.

So, Saint giggled after flashing his middle finger, which resulted in a scolding from his mom who briefly covered his face with her hand.

These pictures are really funny.

Um, and then later in the day, she took Northwest to dinner at Nobu Malibu.

It's like so weird.

No, this is like such a normal picture of like they're in some parking lot, like clearly going to Chili's or something.

Like, they're in their school uniforms.

He's with his friend.

The friend's face is blurred.

That's good.

But not, I guess, Saint is a public figure.

Yeah, they don't blur.

It's just like such an oddly intimate affair.

Like it looks like it could be any family.

I mean, not that the moms are ever dressed like him, but it's just so security.

But it's so

regular.

Yeah.

Like, why does the paparazzi...

Why are they at Chili's with that?

Right.

They're definitely going to like...

Like, literally Appleby's neighborhood grill for like after dinner.

I mean, after practice sliders.

Yeah.

Oh, speaking of sliders,

Jackie and I, no, we have lunch covered today.

We ordered early.

Like we're not dumb.

We're so smart.

But Jackie and I have been,

I signed up for Discovery Plus and Jackie and I have been just kind of, I've really been like feeling, it's been raining here a lot in the afternoons.

It's so hot.

So we play outside.

And then honestly, by three o'clock, it's so exhausting and it starts to rain.

So it's like a perfect time to shower, read, watch TV.

I love it.

I love, I hope it rains today.

Like I love it.

So yesterday we were all laying in bed.

I'm like, I think we should watch like a cooking show.

So I bought Discovery Plus, seven day free trial.

So if I don't like it, I'm going to cancel it like tomorrow.

But I've really been enjoying it.

And I was really wanting to watch like Ina or Pioneer Woman or Giata, like an OG like food network girly.

And Jackie was like, you should watch Joanna Gaines.

And honestly.

You didn't try.

I had preconceived notions.

You did.

So she put on every other show first.

And it was just not giving like the vibe, especially the old school shows.

Like we look at them so fondly, but the way that we're used to consuming content today, they don't make it.

They're so blurry.

And it's like, but honestly, I really, and I'm going to be totally honest.

Like, I didn't want to watch Joanna.

Like, she's too thin.

Like in my opinion, not too thin as like a person.

If you're going to be on like a cooking show, like I want like a big breasted, like I want a big woman making

balabusta like sweating over the, like I want a big woman to make my food.

To me, that's more believable.

And, you know, to be making cooking, like Gianna Delaurentis, to me, she's inauthentic.

Like so much pasta, so much cheese.

one pound like it's just it doesn't feel real to me like i i can't get i can't get lost i can't escape because i'm doubting so much of what's going on and i thought i would experiencing i would experience that with joanna but what she really talks about is she's this big old family.

Yeah, she's really cooking for her kids.

Yeah, and her recipes are like simple because they're for children.

And

I doubted you.

And once again, I was wrong for doing that.

Not only does she cook things that you would want to eat, like, you know, not getting crazy,

but she uses like the whole ingredients.

And the show vibe is very nice.

And to look at.

And it has all of those.

Things like I would, I want to eat what she makes.

We could barely find an episode.

I don't want to like tarnish another chef.

Right.

Also, those other chefs have so many seasons that they've already made sliders.

Now we have to get into the croquet bouche.

We were looking for Pioneer Woman.

Olivia Lovesheart.

She had 40 seasons.

Like, where do I start?

And we chose an episode that was from her COVID years.

Yeah.

I didn't realize.

Like, I just clicked on one.

She's made 40 seasons worth of desserts.

So yeah, we wound up watching a Blackberry Crepe Cake, which, by the way, looked delicious.

But if I ever attempted to make that cake, it would take me 24 hours.

Yeah, no, she wasn't fooling anyone with those crepes.

Right.

So it just like wasn't.

The thing about a cooking show is you want it to be aspirational, but you also want it to be like, hey, maybe we should try that.

No, and what was so fun about the Joanna one is like, we just kept remarking on like her dishes and her kitchen was so beautiful.

And then you let me know that she actually did a TV show building the Magnolia Studios for her.

Yeah, it was a two-part special.

That we're going to watch tonight.

Behind the scenes of how they set up her studio kitchen.

She's so like.

The thing is, I invented Joanna Gaines in this house and I will take that to the grave.

I've never watched Flip or Flop.

Fix her Upper.

Flip or Flop.

Don't get me started off there.

I've never watched Tariq's arm tight.

That's Flipper Flop.

I know.

Okay.

I've never watched the Gaines building shows.

You should.

I don't like building shows.

I don't like building shows.

Okay.

So, like, I, I don't even, I don't have anything against Joanna.

Like, I love her brand.

I love her show.

Like, I love her historically.

I just, I didn't trust her as a chef.

Like, she just doesn't give me, you know, chefy vibes.

BWE.

Big woman energy.

And I was wrong.

And that's what I get for judging someone.

And for doubting me, because I told you it was the exact content you were looking for.

And it was.

Like, we, we searched, we just watched so many bad episodes of like barefoot contessa.

Like we just couldn't find like the vibe we were looking for.

And Jackie was like chiming in in the back of the bed, like, put on Joanna.

And we were like, shut up, Jackie.

And then we eventually put on Joanna and she was all right.

It was everything.

It was.

Yeah.

She makes tasty looking food.

She has a calming present.

She has gorgeous kitchenware.

She cooks nicely.

Yeah.

Swiftly.

Not so, you know, complicated.

Yeah.

But like Aina makes like really...

sophisticated dishes.

Honestly, like she's making a chocolate truffle.

Like, I don't want that.

We were looking for, we were like really hungry.

So we were were looking for like someone to make like a whole episode of delicious desserts.

And Aina had one called chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, or whatever.

And first thing she made was,

I forget, but it was fine.

And then she starts making these truffles.

And it's like, girl, make a cake.

Like, Duncan Hines.

Like, what's so complicated?

Duncan Hines?

What did you just say?

Duncan Hines.

What's that?

Excuse me?

Duncan Hines.

Duncan Hines?

What are you saying?

What are you saying?

You don't know what Duncan Hines is?

No.

It's a brand?

Maybe I'm saying it wrong.

D-U-N-K-I-N.

No, D-U-N-C-A-N.

It's like the box brand of

like brownies, everything you buy.

Oh, I don't know it.

I've never noticed it then.

Duncan Hines.

Yeah.

No, look, let me show you, like, the box.

Wait, are you fucking with me?

Like, no.

That's like you saying you don't know like Mrs.

Betty Crocker.

Like all these boxes.

I've never noticed.

Let's go get one.

Okay.

I would love to make.

Oh, yeah.

I think we should bake.

I think so, too.

We could make Joanna's Ranger cookies.

Also, what I like about Joanna, she has cookbooks.

I've made a few of her recipes and they are tasty.

They work.

So Kim Kardashian's son gave the middle finger to Paparazzi.

What I was going to say about that was now that I'm a parent, like I have stronger feelings about certain things, but I haven't entered that era yet where like if Harry was seven

and gave the middle finger to someone who maybe deserved it.

Right.

I don't know how I would feel about it.

He has somebody who maybe deserved it.

That's the question.

Right.

If he was giving the middle finger at school.

To his teacher.

Sucks.

I'm obsessed.

But, like, I don't know.

I imagine I would like be like, don't do that.

But I might find it like secretly.

You would chuckle.

Chuckle.

Chuckle.

I might chuckle.

So that's your show.

Angel.

If you're watching this, do not do it.

Angel, if you're watching this, come to your auntie.

I miss you so much.

Koja.

Koja.

Koja.

He calls me Koja, like Koja Cat.

Koja Cat.

Yeah, that's how we spell it.

C-O-J-A.

He's obsessed with me.

Like, you guys, I'm never leaving.

Yeah.

great.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Joseph Millennium Morning Show, where we delivered the fast five stories 80s.

You know, everyone in the Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts everywhere.

Podcast can be found.

So Spotify, Tune, Twitter, Public Radio, Iradi Castwogs, all the places, web lists, and podcasts.

My notes are so toast, leave a five star review, but I'm beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented.

We are.