Timotay Chalamay: Wednesday, September 6th, 2023

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the Toast and Happy Wednesday.

It is hump day very appropriately because you know the woman I'd like to hump is sitting right next to me.

It's my favorite lesbian, Taylor Strucker.

Hey, girl.

Hey!

Thank you so much for being here.

Oh my god, I'm so sorry I'm late.

You are late, and let's talk about that.

Let's talk about that.

Listen, I feel like you moved out of the borough like a few years ago.

In the beginning, like we gave you Grace.

We're like, she lives in Jersey.

But you've lived there now for how many years?

It's like three.

And every time you leave your house, it's like the first time.

No, it's not.

No, this is, I'm Bridge and Tunnel.

That is what happens.

That's fine.

That's fine.

But like, you have to acclimate, like, get over it.

It shouldn't take an hour to get here.

Listen, we're living in difficult times.

You know, I cannot.

And I just feel like, honestly, I think I speak for all of our friends when I say like, we're kind of sick of it.

Like, you live in Jersey.

Like, that's fine.

that's

it's literally fine but like every time for it to be like an ordeal and like a conversation I just think like

the friends wanted me to say something which friends pretty much all of them

you're like my only friend that looks I know I like how I'm like all my friends we literally Brian literally does not live here um I don't know I feel like I heard you know Margaret Washtre say something about it yeah okay okay and like all of our friends and like Ben is like non-stop complaining all the time he's livid I mean but Ben is also late everywhere, so that's why I fuck with Ben.

And that's why I feel like you and I are just kind of connected.

Because when I hang out with you, I feel like I'm hanging out with my slow, late husband.

I really am sorry.

You look beautiful.

Thank you so much for being here.

Well, I wore your favorite cardigan.

You have just like a great collection of cardigans, which I feel is a great thing to have.

Like, they're Maje, as I call them.

Ma, may Maj.

I don't even know how to say it anymore because you're always mispronouncing it.

I can't say Manjaro.

You can't.

Manjaro.

Wait, no.

Now you're making me.

Manjaro.

How do I say it?

Munjaro.

Munjaro.

I can't.

Yeah, I really, I don't know how I've existed this long as an adult.

Yeah.

It's really...

You've got a grasp on the language.

Exactly.

Without getting anywhere on time.

Right, right, right.

She's a troubled woman.

You look so fabulous.

I feel like I don't want to spend the whole episode today talking about Ozempic because we really did like a deep dive on your podcast.

I know.

And everyone should listen to it, but I don't know how we're going to function without talking about Ozempic.

Ever since I've had my coming out of the closet party.

It's been the best thing ever.

I mean, you, no, you've really understood what it feels like to come out.

Literally.

Literally.

Welcome to the LGBTQIA plus community.

By the way, I'm kind of like the O in LGBTQO, like Ozempic.

Or like LGBTF, fat.

That's not a thing.

Not a thing.

But I do kind of understand the gay experience now, and I'm really sorry for what you went through.

That must have been tough.

Yeah, it's really hard to keep a secret, isn't it?

Not that it was a secret.

Right, no, no, no, but I know what you're saying.

Like it's difficult.

You're right.

I kind of, I'm a lesbian.

You're literally a lesbian.

I have to say it, though.

Like, I don't even really know what it's like to be a lesbian.

You had a very unique coming out experience.

Yes.

I mean, I like, can you imagine keeping it a secret for your whole life?

My wife, like, kept it for like four years.

It breaks my heart.

And that's small.

No, but especially during those really difficult, like, teenage years, high school, people, kids are so mean.

So mean.

Do you feel like grateful that you didn't have to go through that?

I really do.

And it makes me feel like I need to like do better as a member of the queer community.

No, you know what it is.

To like make up for it.

No, you need to just be nicer to your wife.

I am so nice to my wife.

Sure.

When was I not nice to my wife?

No, you are.

You are.

I just feel like you could be nicer.

We could all be nicer.

We could all be nicer.

That's kind of the message of today's show.

Okay, I like that.

I will say this.

Tay and I, we went to go see James Taylor over the weekend.

I saw that you went.

At PNC.

I know.

Bet is obsessed with James Taylor.

He actually saw, he was like, we should go, but honestly, like, no.

Oh, my God.

You should have come.

Like, I do.

I've seen fire and I've seen rain.

Literally, is that not the lyric to every single song, though, that he sings?

Yeah, what are other songs that I sing?

I was trying to go through it, like, recapping, and I was like, he sang Fire and Rain.

He sang a song that also sounds like Fire and Rain.

Oh, but Ben's favorite song of all time is his song.

And it goes a little something like,

oh shit, Ben sings it all the time.

Like, about a cowboy.

Oh, Sweet Baby James.

Yes.

Yeah.

Because Ben's parents used to sing Sweet Baby Ben to him, like when he was a baby.

And he, there is a young cowboy who lives on the range.

His horse and his donkey are his only companion.

Those aren't the lyrics.

His horse and his saddle.

Miss May someone could hear.

So good night.

Moonlight lady.

Run on my sweet baby Ben.

James, do you want me to show off?

This is is kind of like my show.

Remember when I did karaoke and embarrass myself?

I mean, I don't think I've ever done karaoke and not embarrassed myself.

So which time are you talking about?

We were with Brian and New Hoe.

Oh, of course.

We, you were phenomenal.

I did have a pretty good showing at that karaoke place, but you were excellent too.

You sang Alanis Morrisa.

Well, no, no, no, no.

We were excellent together in our duet, and that's when I should have stopped.

Yeah.

But I was high on my own supply.

I know.

And you were also really pushy.

No, but also, like, the talent at that place, like the bar was so low.

Like everybody stunk it up.

It's nice.

It was one of those places where there's one stage.

Like I think sometimes karaoke in the city, especially, you get like private rooms, which is fun.

Yes.

But this place had one stage and it was like the whole room was like in the palm of your hand.

It was very exciting.

No, but like you really thrived.

I've been reading a lot lately, not to brag.

What?

Yes.

Taylor Jenkins read?

Wait, the way I die for her.

Were you the one that told me to read the seven husbands of that menu?

How could you not tell me you read it?

Oh, I'm so sorry.

So are you in the middle middle or you finished it?

I am done.

And then I finished, I finished Daisy Jones.

Okay.

And now I'm on to Malibu Rising.

That's not a, that's not her best book.

Whatever.

It's like, I'm just, I need, I need to hit.

Okay, after this, you need to read One True Loves.

Is that her?

Yeah.

I'm in.

I'm such, I'm a junkie for her.

I can't believe like for the last two years, I've been trying to get you to read, and then you just started reading and didn't even tell me.

So we went out to LA, Tate got the book at the airport, and I was at the like, whatever, what's it called?

Bookstore.

Hudson News.

And I was like, what did Claudia say?

What did Claudia say?

And then Tay was like, I've heard that this is a good one.

And I'm like, I think that feels like the right one.

Tay got it and I kept stealing it.

And I like could not put it down.

I told you you would love it.

It's the greatest book ever written in the history of book writing.

It's like my top five favorite books.

So anyway, but she's like, Taylor Jenkins Reed is obsessed with like beauty and famous people.

And every book, there's always like, and you just knew when someone had it.

And whenever I read that, I think of you.

Oh my God.

And I think of the night at karaoke specifically, because like I know that you're a star, but like you guys at this place, the way that you were like, you were, it wasn't even just that your voice was good.

You were really like owning the stage.

You were doing crowd work, bro.

You were, you did Celine Dion, which is like, who the fuck does Celine Dion?

And let's get real, you don't sound like Celine.

Not in the slightest.

But you carried yourself.

Like Celine.

Literally so nice.

Like, I'm going to cry.

I was really proud of you.

And I loved our duet.

You can come back on the toast.

Okay, thank you.

I was afraid I have to fucking kiss her butt.

It's true.

Like, I feel like if anybody knows me, the number one way to my heart is through my ass.

Like,

whenever me and Ben will, like, come home from, like, a dinner party or something, I'm going to be like, oh, I really liked that girl.

He's like, yeah, obviously, like, she only asked you questions about your life and yourself.

And she was like, up your head.

Complimenting you, yeah.

Yeah, that's the number one way to be my friend.

I'm so toxic.

Munching your butt today.

And you know what?

That completely works for me.

I feel like we have a very...

Complimentary butt-munching relationship.

I agree.

We munch each other's butt.

That's called being a good friend.

It's so true.

We're kind of like the exemplary friendship.

I agree.

We worked together.

We're amazing.

I think we're kind of like two of the greatest people who've ever existed.

I fully agree.

And yes.

What?

You looked like you were going to say, but.

But

sometimes you love me so much, you push me outside of my comfort zone.

Like reading.

And that note, that's what you did that night and new hope.

And I can't even hear the name Alanis Morissette without going like this.

Ooh.

You know that?

That's so crazy to me because you've literally sounded fabulous.

Well, thank you.

But I felt like a big loser.

And I was trying so hard there was tears streaming down my face.

Like I wasn't crying because I was like moved.

I was crying from like, it was either crying or pooping.

You know what?

That actually makes a lot of sense.

I went with tears.

Speaking of like amazing excellence, we're about to deliver a fabulous episode.

This is only day two of Toast being back.

I know.

Oh my God, how exciting.

For seriously.

It really was.

Ted, yesterday was such an exciting day.

Thank you for being here.

I'm honored.

We have so much pop culture to catch up on.

So excited.

And I just can't wait to get your takes.

And it's Wednesday, which means we're going to do Deer toasters.

And for some reason, you are always here for deer toasters.

I love deer toasters.

Well, we've got some really wild ones today.

So I'm glad that you're here.

Me too.

And I feel like we should just dive right in because let's do it.

Let's do it.

If we don't, we'll just sit here talking about Ozempic for the next six hours.

I know, and we won't do that to you guys, but seriously, let us know if you want like a deep dive episode on Patreon because we'll do it.

I really would.

And I can't stop talking about it.

I went to dinner last night and exactly.

Literally, it came up because there's nothing else to talk about on the planet.

besides Ozempic.

Somebody else brought it up, not even me.

It's very interesting.

It is.

And I do love to hear like people's takes on it, their experience, like people in their lives' experience.

And actually, last night, I was just talking to a friend, and she said, like, a bunch of people in her life were on it, and it actually didn't work for them, which I was surprised by.

Really?

You know how people like Trauma Bond?

Yeah, we owe Zempic Bonded.

I mean, it's everything.

Like,

Willie, we've always been great friends, but I really feel like this is the thing that really just like pushes over the edge.

I completely agree.

Of sisterhood.

Sisterhood.

Shots and sisterhood.

Well, in the words of the professor from Legally Blonde, screw sisterhood, because we have the fast five to get and dive into.

Are you ready, Taylor?

Do it, baby.

Here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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When you go to ziprecruiter.com/slash toast, you'll be able to try it for free at ziprecruiter.com slash toast zip recruiter the smartest way to hire now the big news of the day it's an update from yesterday but you know a lot of us were in disbelief a lot of us were in denial but as of this morning with the very you know low budget instagram story screenshot statement from joe jonas and sophie turner i know they're officially uh calling for a divorce and they're calling it a united decision in their first statement since the breakup not true so it's officially jover joe jonas and sophie turner released a joint statement wednesday to publicly address their divorce for the first time.

After four wonderful years of marriage, we have mutually decided to amicably end our marriage.

There are many speculative narratives as to why, but truly, this is a united decision, and we sincerely hope that everyone can respect our wishes for privacy for us and our children.

The statement came one day after Joe filed for divorce from Sophie.

He did it in a Miami court stating that their union was irretrievably broken.

The Jonas brother member also claimed in the filing that his and the and Sophie Turner's two daughters have primarily been living with him, but he is seeking shared parental responsibility after the split.

A source close to the Jonas family told page six exclusively that divorce was a last resort for Joe.

He never wanted to break up his family, but had to take what he felt was the best course of action for his girls.

Joe finally reached a point where he felt that he had exhausted all options to salvage the marriage.

Now, I have so many thoughts on this, but it's very clear everything in the media has been from Joe's camp.

You know, absolutely.

The kids are with him.

The insinuation has been like kind of a damaging accusation that she's partying and not present with the kids.

Yep.

And it's all alleged and it's all coming from his camp.

But, and so that would make me think that there's actually like very bad blood between them if they're taking it to the press.

But she was last resort.

Right, but she was just at his show.

I know.

Well, this is the thing, too.

It's like, can we even trust Joe?

I don't know.

Because so all these whispers where there's smoke, there's fire.

And then he comes out on stage wearing his wedding ring, which he had been not wearing previously.

Sophie is there.

And then he chooses to sing this love song that he actually wrote about her,

which puts everything to bed.

And like, why are you going to do this dog and pony show?

It's two days later.

Yes.

No, it's very, this whole thing has been like really messy.

I feel like it got out before, I think they were planning on getting divorced and like having it be handled quietly.

And then once it all came out, like releasing a statement, but I think like TMZ got a tip or something.

Okay.

And it threw their whole PR strategy into a tip.

And why like put on this like performance?

I don't know.

Of like, we're in love and she's here and my ring's on.

I'm singing this song and he posted on instagram a photo and his ring was like literally front and center like hey well it made me feel like there was an opportunity where maybe she was like begging crying like please please please get that together please please please let's do this to save face but like then what between that action like and the fact that he said it was or his camp or whoever a last resort like so what does that mean like what did she

right is she i know they're implying that she has a drinking problem they are they're imparting implying that she's like a party girl who's not you know who's neglecting her parental responsibilities but you know what i feel like she's 27.

I mean, by the way, that could be entirely true.

It's all alleged, but it's so unfair to judge.

Everything thus far has come from Joe's POV.

And how's Joe coming out of this?

Hardworking, parent number one, taking the girls on tour, non-stop work, non-stop parent.

It's like, okay, well.

We need to hear from Sophie because it's easy for her to be painted in this light.

She hasn't said anything.

She hasn't, her team hasn't put out any TMZ exclusives.

I just saw a story on page six that said that she was like seen out drinking, guzzling drinks, guzzling drinks.

Downing downing drinks at a bar, but two days before the divorce was announced.

Like, do you know what I look like when I got a divorce?

Oh, you know what?

Yeah, speak from your experience.

I was a human keg existing.

I was just trying to survive.

Like, she's allowed to guzzle drinks.

Yeah.

And I'm sure she was having like three martinis, right?

Which for me is just a Tuesday.

A Tuesday.

Well, I feel so bad for her.

I also like have so many questions about the format of this divorce.

Like, this is, I mean, this statement.

This is a divorce.

It's not, you know, a small thing.

It's a big PR.

And they literally, you know, it was an Instagram story that was screenshotted and then posted and feed.

It was like the Instagram font.

It wasn't,

it didn't appear to be particularly thoughtful in terms of its content or its design.

No.

And that was particularly shocking to me.

And like at the top of it, it was like statement from both of us.

And it's like, well, a publicist would, you know, sign it, Joe and Sophie Turner, and then they would both.

post it on their Instagram.

It would be clear that it was a joint statement.

You could have at the top be like, statement from both of us.

Like it was just very low budget.

Yeah.

I was surprised because they're two like real A-listers.

I know.

This was not A-list behavior.

This whole thing is very messy, very not A-list.

Do you think we're going to find out?

Like, is this where it ends and we'll hear nothing else?

Or do you think we're going to get like the T, not to be disgusting?

No, I actually don't think we're going to get the T because of their kids.

And there are two celebrities.

We've never seen a photo of their kids.

They've never even released the name of their second child.

Right.

So they're.

uber private when it comes to their family.

And this is family matters.

And I actually don't think this will be a thing we just wonder about for years to come that's what I think I almost feel like the truth would be better for Sophie's like image yeah because I think that right now what's

speculate is and it's nasty and it's just yeah we're getting a few things you know the kids are with Joe she was at a bar like then that leads people to come to conclusions of their own which is and then also the wording of the reason for the divorce was irre what

the marriage isn't this word before yeah actually i had a hard time pronouncing it irretrievably broken that sounds like she cheated If he's the one that filed.

I'm just saying.

Wait, no, the thing is, everything thus far has weirdly been his control.

Yeah.

He's the one who filed.

It's his POV that's coming out in TMZ and page six.

Like, hashtag, where's Sophie Turner?

And he got like a really scary ass lawyer.

Yeah.

I'm worried for Sophie.

I know, but she's rich.

Don't worry.

Should be okay.

Yeah.

She's got that Game of Thrones money.

I think that's like.

Like, is that forever money?

I don't know if it's forever money, but she was, you know, a principal character.

Did you watch the show?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So many people were on the show.

Not all of them are as famous as her and not all of them lasted.

Everyone was dying on the show.

Very few characters actually made it from episode one to episode, you know, 50.

Very true.

And she's one of them.

Now, I don't think she, and this is something actually Jackie and I feel like spoke about in privately.

For as famous as that show made a lot of people, there aren't, I would say, honestly, the only one who had work bigger than Game of Thrones afterwards is Jason Momoa with Aquaman.

Absolutely.

None of them really had like crazy blockbuster moments.

Right.

Amelia Clark, she's so famous, but and she had like that one movie with, you know, the guy guy in the wheelchair, but they're like, she doesn't have like

crazy success after the show.

Right.

I don't know if really any of them do except for her.

That's why I'm worried about Sophie.

Like, yeah.

I hope she made a fuck ton of money because what has she done since?

She has had cameos in a few movies, and I know she did like a quibby thing.

Everyone was doing quibby at the time.

Quibby.

Yeah.

But I don't know.

That's a good question.

Yeah, I'm nervous.

I'm nervous for her.

I really, I wish her well.

They were one of my real favorite like celebrity couples, and they were a celebrity couple I didn't worry about.

I know.

So for them to have just come out i actually when you know when you're reading something like sometimes like a celebrity dies like you're reading it but you can't process it for like 30 seconds yeah i was like wait no this can't possibly be i uh i mean i'm a narcissist so every time like a couple gets divorced i just think about me and tay of course but it's like god does anybody fucking make it anymore it's so disheartening spoken as a divorcee right but like you know i want to believe in forever but these celebrity couples they just really they're like very bad pr for the brand of marriage but i don't think you should put like any personal stake in celebrity marriages.

Like celebrity is so toxic.

There's so many bad influences.

Why?

Why do you think it is that fame and partying and money, it destroys people.

Even like the happiest person, fame can be really, really like toxic and negative.

Yeah.

And it's like an addiction.

It's like it's like drugs.

You need to be like a really, really grounded person to like survive that level of fame and that level of access to like money and drugs and alcohol.

Like you, it's not built for the faint of heart.

I know, but like, you know, it's like my dream to always be a housewife.

Of course.

So, if, like, and I always say, if the opportunity came, I'd never be strong enough to say no.

I, even though I would be fearful that it would ruin everything.

That level of fame, I think, is manageable.

Okay, that's not like I'm talking about like hardcore Hollywood.

Okay.

These two are very Hollywood.

They're very.

He's in like a huge touring band.

They're touring stadiums.

She's a part of like this iconic franchise.

She's really like an A-lister.

Yes.

This is next level.

So it's possible that that's what happened.

It's possible that the fame had nothing to do with it.

I don't know.

Right.

We'll never know.

I need to know.

It's killing me.

I might have to go to the place I never go.

Reddit, Reddit, but Reddit knows nothing, they do know nothing.

No, and I just want to say, like, I

like tried, like, I know some people, and like, I was like being a snoop.

I'm like, I need to know.

Nobody knows what happened.

Like,

they're private people, nobody knows.

I didn't get any information, which was really like tough for me.

I'm really sorry about that.

I know.

Um, okay, our next story is hilarious.

So, we reported yesterday Timothy Shalamay and Kylie Jenner are like 100% confirmed.

Those videos of them at Beyoncé, very salacious.

Yes, but the internet has found like

the Tim, okay, let me rephrase that.

People have discovered the rabbit hole.

Nope.

People have discovered the corner of the internet that is like the Chalamet fan club.

Okay.

And these people are losing their minds.

And it's the funniest thing.

Okay.

Well, they're all medieval leather shoes.

Okay.

Just like their leader, Timothy.

So the Timothy Chalamet fans are calling Kylie Jenner a stalker after the pair is seen kissing.

So the internet has gone crazy, of course, after the videos of Timothy Chalamet and Kylie Jenner were spotted kissing at a Beyoncé concert.

So it came months after speculation that the two had become an item, but some are seemingly more upset than others about the pair.

Namely, Club Chalamé.

That's what the internet is calling them this like corner of the internet.

Okay.

So a woman named Simone, who calls herself a Gen X LA-based superfan account,

she has called Kylie Jenner a stalker.

She says it looks like they're meeting for the first time since she's been stalking his place.

What else is he supposed to do?

Spit in her face?

He was probably there there with friends and Mama Carjener waved her staff and commanded this meeting be filmed.

Stop.

The literal, the Chalamet fans are depressed.

They're supporting one another during this dark time, being like, guys, it's okay, go to sleep.

Like, we need to just get some sleep.

Maybe when we wake up, it'll all be over.

Stop.

People being like, I really hope he's wearing a condom.

Like, the Chalamet fans are not fucking okay.

I didn't even know there was like a Chalamet.

He's an actor, not like a K-pop star.

I didn't know he had like a Chalamet army.

I will say it's very interesting.

So So a good friend of mine is obsessed with Timothy Chalamet.

Timite.

Timite.

And I like, like, he literally is a human equivalent of a medieval leather shoe.

Like, it really is crazy.

Did you ever see that meme of Kylie and Timite in the bathtub together?

No.

It was a picture of like...

like fit shapely legs and then like these like little

tiny pale bony legs do you think he weighs over a hundred pounds no no he's definitely a size double zero in ladies jeans literally And, but like my friends that are obsessed with him, like, I'll be like, I don't really get this is pretty highly.

By the way, I don't get it.

I'm like, I don't get it.

It also feels creepy.

Like, he looks 12 perpetually.

And the way they get so angry with me and they're like, have you seen Call Me By Your Name?

And I'm like, yeah.

Have you?

I have.

And I'm also a gay.

So like, I'm allowed to not like that movie.

And guess what?

She don't like the movie.

Oh, wow.

I never saw it.

Also, Army Hammer.

Like, do we even need to?

Right.

But like, it's just like, I didn't love the story.

And I just like wasn't here for the timetate of it all.

Okay.

But you're loud.

But weirdly now,

I said the same thing yesterday.

I am doing this thing where I am so like, I'm like Timite.

Not good for your brand, this Kylie thing.

Oh, oh my God.

I was going to say, like, I actually understand the hype.

People have thought he was so hot.

He's like, so many people celebrity crushes.

When I tell you, I never understood it in my life.

Yes.

Seeing the Kylie video, I'm like, okay, you know what?

Homeboy can get it.

Like, I could understand it.

I don't agree with it, but I can understand it.

And I actually thought like they looked really cute and sexy together.

I don't like them together.

They're a mismatch.

And it's not that one's better than the other.

Well, okay, here's the thing.

I mean, Kylie is a star.

Kylie is a billionaire.

Like, Kylie is definitely like, like, he is taking a major leap up, I feel like, but he just gives me like, I'm a serious actor.

I write poetry.

Yeah.

Like, they just like don't make sense.

They don't feel like a match.

No.

But I feel like everyone

freaking out.

Like, this is just the classic thing where people just like hate the Kardashians for no reason.

Yeah.

And it's like, okay, why?

Like, she didn't do do anything wrong.

She went to a concert with her boyfriend.

Like, and it's cute, you know what?

And they are cute.

They are cute.

They are.

Like, I'm telling you, I thought the videos were like sexy and cute.

Yeah, they're very into each other.

I know.

Isn't that nice?

I actually saw like someone who's like a professional lip reader reading like some of their conversation.

And it sounded like he said, I love you.

Oh, they've been together for a minute, right?

This rumor started like a decently long time ago, and it has been true ever since.

That's not a crazy amount of time to tell someone you love them.

Not at all.

No, they're really into each other.

And I don't know.

I just think the fact that everybody's like rejecting this like makes me like it.

I get that.

Like, there's nothing wrong with Kylie.

She's a nice business girl.

You know, she's a smart, family-oriented queen.

She just feels like Kim's AI.

Do you know what I'm saying?

It's actually an amazing call.

Thank you.

And so I just feel like, what do they talk about?

He feels deep.

She feels not, I'm not trying to be a bitch, but like not deep.

That's the way I'll say it.

Okay, but you know what?

I feel like that is just like your...

deep-rooted, you know, misogyny.

Like, why is she not deep?

She started a billion-dollar company.

Right.

We don't really know her.

She's never on the show.

Right.

And I think that's that's the whole point of her brand is like, she's said this many times, like, nobody really knows me.

She's actually like very weird and outgoing, but like we see her on the show.

She says four words.

Right.

And, you know, we see her on Instagram and it's just like photos of herself.

We don't know her.

So I think the conclusion that she's not deep is, it could be true.

Right.

But we have no proof of that.

Or maybe it's also by design.

Not that she's not deep, but we just don't know.

Her image.

That she's putting out.

She's mysterious.

But it is weird that she's like a mom of two and he's like a child.

That's the other thing.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

Is she his babysitter?

No, right.

Literally, Literally, like he, visually, like it doesn't make sense to me.

Yeah.

For the first time ever next to her, he looked like a man.

Yes.

Oh my God.

You know what?

That's what it is.

He's like having a bar mitzvah.

Like he was going up right in front of our eyes.

Wait, the movie?

You're so not.

Did you watch?

Claudia, yes, of course I did.

I loved.

It was so good.

It was so sweet.

And I felt like it actually really celebrated the Jewish faith.

Yes.

So much of like the Jewish experience on Netflix is like extreme, in my opinion, like actually offensive.

Yes.

I thought this was so sweet.

It was so nice to see like the the normalization of bot mitzvah culture and it wasn't offensive.

His daughters were amazing.

They were so good.

Beautiful girls.

I love that his wife was in it.

And it was just, me and Ben were cackling.

And it was very on point.

Like, if you've gone through the bot mitzvah years as a teenager, like that girl, Sarah Sherman from SNL, who played the female, like conservative rabbi, the best.

But let me tell you, like, that person exists.

Yeah.

It was a flawless performance of like a conservative shul female rabbi.

Like it with the vest, the yamuka, the treadmill, like it was perfect.

I loved the movie.

I'm going to, I'm the worst.

Bot is girl, bar is boy.

Okay.

Yes.

I'm going to a bot mitzvah, like in a month.

I'm so excited.

I haven't been to a bot mitzvah or bar mitzvah in years.

I know.

Whose?

Dr.

Wider.

She's on my show every single day or every single day.

Every single week.

And her daughter Piper.

They're so sweet.

I'm obsessed with.

Oh, that's so nice.

I'm so excited.

And, you know, like...

Bar mitzvahs are incredibly underrated because as a kid, you know, I used to go to them once a week for like two years and I was 13 and I was like looking forward to, of course, like hanging out with boys and stuff.

But as an adult, like they're fully open bar.

Fully.

And like, it's just a dance floor and a bar.

It's fun.

It's like a wedding without.

any of the annoying shit.

Without, right, right.

Are you going to go to like the shul part?

I would like to.

It's nice to see like a girl become a woman.

And also like the singing.

It's beautiful.

It's beautiful.

I love that for you.

I know.

I'm so excited.

Well, Timatay and his army of fans, like you're going to be okay.

But honestly, it's one of the funniest things I've seen, like, people having like actual, like, they're in crisis mode.

Yes, they can't believe it.

I understand why they're having a hard time processing because it doesn't really make sense.

But, like, we just have to, like, let go and like God.

Yeah.

I wonder how they had these same types of reactions.

He's been spotted out with like a few ladies.

Remember, he was making out in a pool with Aza Gonzalez.

I wonder how they handled that.

Do they just not want Timate to date anyone because they're in love with him?

Or is it Kylie?

I think it's a combination of them.

I think it's a combination of the two.

She did as well.

I do.

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All right, our next story is another update.

Drew Barrymore gate, she has this stalker.

That video that went viral a few weeks ago, we actually talked about it on your podcast, Chad Michael Busto, her stalker.

Yeah, by the way, I got that name wrong.

Yeah, it's you were so right and I was so wrong.

Because I remember reading it and being like, Chad Michael Murray?

Right.

But it's Chad Michael Busto.

Busto.

He stormed the Bastille at the 92nd Street.

Y scaring the hell out of everyone.

And now he has a warrant out for his arrest because he failed to show up to get his GPS monitor fitted.

So a warrant has been issued for the arrest of Chad Michael Busto, the man accused of stalking Drew Barrymore after he didn't appear to get his GPS monitor affixed to his person.

So in Southampton, a judge issued a bench warrant for him after he didn't show up for the GPS monitor fitting.

So the GPS was a conditional after Busto was taken into custody in late August after he showed up at Drew Barrymore.

It was because of that.

It was because it was actually because he showed up at her home in Long Island without invitation days after the 92nd Street Y speaking engagement gig.

Oh my God, I missed that.

So he was taken into custody after officials said that he was seen scouring her Hampton's neighborhood looking for the $6 million home that she lives in.

Barry Moore was not at the residence, thank God, at the time that he was apprehended there.

On August 21st, two days before he was arrested, he had the 92nd Street Y thing.

So it was 92nd Street Y, two days later, arrested in Southampton for looking, you know, being at her home.

And then he was supposed to show up and get like a GPS monitor.

affixed to his like ankle or his wrist.

Right.

And he didn't show up.

And so now there's a warrant out for his arrest.

And he's like, he's just like, we don't know.

He's in the wind.

Scary.

It's actually really scary for

Drew Barrymore.

I feel like we see a lot of celebrity stalkers, but like they always get what's coming to them.

Like they get arrested, they get the restraining order, they get, you know, the warrants.

But for him to be like totally missing, that's freaky as fuck.

I hope Drew Barrymore is like literally locked in a padded cell.

Yes.

A very luxurious one.

Yeah.

She just can't be touched.

That's freaking.

She's having non-stop security right now.

No, and this guy was like posting on social media and he's really unwell and he just looks crazy.

He has like a big bruise on his forehead.

Like he's...

Where do you get that bruise on his forehead?

I don't know.

He's deeply unwell.

He's deeply unwell.

Like, this is so scary.

This is like, I feel like every celebrity's worst nightmare.

Yeah.

When this person can't even be apprehended.

Oh, God, I'm worried for Drew.

And his name being Chad Michael Busto just takes this whole situation to another level.

He was so.

He was so familiar.

It was so unnerving.

Yeah.

Like, Drew, so much to the point that she was like, I think she really thought of somebody she knew.

So like a number one fan or something.

Exactly.

No, it's a like, and I think this is, you know, a part of like toxic fan culture, but obsession is a mental illness.

Absolutely.

And this is really like an extreme example of that.

Where do you think he do you think he's still in the Hamptons?

No.

Do you think we should do like a manhunt for him?

Oh my God, let's all put together a search party to protect Drew.

I mean, we live in like the age of we all have like, I mean,

how can we not find Chad Michael Busto?

Yes.

No, like literally, where in the world is Chad Chad Michael Busto?

Where is he?

Where could he be?

I wonder.

I feel like a person like this who's.

He's probably Round Swamp getting chicken salad.

Or like the $45 chicken fingers.

Wow, you just made me so hungry.

It's the best.

Round Swamp is so good.

I actually only went there for the first time recently.

Did you end up going out to the Hamptons, by the way?

When?

Remember, we were talking about going to Montauk?

I didn't.

You didn't?

Did you?

I was going to have fun.

But the last time I was in the Hamptons, I did go to Round Swamp, which has gone like viral on TikTok.

Yes.

It's like this shack.

There's a few of them in the Hamptons.

But it literally looks like a cottage.

Yeah.

And you go inside and it is just filled with like the most delicious pre-prepared foods, veggies, desserts.

Oh my God, I had this crumb cake muffin.

Wow, I'm starving right now.

Yep.

Cause it's day seven of my Ozembic.

I took it this morning.

Oh, I took it yesterday.

Yeah.

Okay.

So it's kind of like worn off.

You know, Wednesday, Tuesdays and Wednesdays are like days where I have to really fight my natural instinct to be a beast.

Yes.

And then come Thursday, Friday, I'm like literally a model.

Like Victoria Secret, where are you?

Oh, and a little fun fact I learned it because now that I've been like talking so much about Ozembic, my phone definitely knows I'm on Ozembic and I've learned it on like Manjaro talk.

No way.

And I get a bunch of good tips and tricks from the girlies whose lives have been changed.

Like I meet girls who have been on it for two, three years and they've maintained their weight.

What do they say?

What are the tips and tricks?

So if you feel like you've kind of, for me, I've always injected in my stomach because they say you have to just inject it in a concentrated area of fat.

And for me, that's always been my stomach.

But someone was like and these are just girls who speak from their own experience.

They're not doctors right now.

They were like, you know, if you've experienced like a little bit of a stall, try changing it up and your arm can be very effective.

So I'm now my second week doing arm and I lost two pounds this week like no shit Yeah, changing it up can change I think the efficacy according to just some people's experience I do my stomach I do my booty you oh you booty I've never done booty well Tate does my booty I can't do my booty that would be insane.

Yeah, that's what am I double jointed?

I've never tried booty.

Maybe I'll try that next week.

Booty's fabulous.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I always did leg then stomach.

I've never done leg.

I'm scared of that Fermal artery or whatever is there.

Interesting.

Yeah.

Okay, well keep me updated.

I will keep you updated.

Now let's talk going from Chad Michael Busto to Ozempic.

That's the thing.

Ozempic is like this universal topic.

And also, we,

everyone's like, you're not on Ozempic.

I am on a Trezepatide if we want to get technical.

I actually am on Ozempic.

Yeah.

But I was, I was on semaglutide for the better part of a year.

Right.

All right.

This next story is something I've been dying to talk about.

I'm sure everyone by now has seen that incredibly bizarre, unnerving, quite frightening video of Taylor Armstrong caught by the paparazzi outside of Craigsla.

Well, she is now laughing off the viral moment.

She went on Watch Trappens Live last night.

And she joked that she's in disguise to avoid people recognizing her from her oddly boisterous paparazzi video that went viral last month.

So Andy asked her on Watch Trappins Live whether she had been, you know, a smidge overserved, perhaps, at Craigs in West Hollywood.

She said, what are you talking about, Andy?

You know, I cut my hair so they wouldn't recognize me when I leave Craigs.

Apparently, two olives and a martini is not dinner.

The Bravo Liberly made headlines after putting on an extremely bizarre show for the cameras outside the celebrity hotspot on August 23rd.

If you haven't seen the video, like please go watch it.

She's literally not speaking English.

She's slurring.

There's two paparazzis and like one of them there doesn't know who she is.

So she's like fighting with him like, I'm wearing orange.

You don't know where I'm from.

I'm hot.

Like it's literal theater.

It's a work of art.

Uh-huh.

She's so twisted.

I actually don't know if I've really ever been that drunk in my life.

Like it's insane.

It was honestly, it was a thing of beauty.

So If I were a housewife and I went to Craigs and I had my two martinis and I came outside and paparazzi didn't know me, that is exactly how I'd behave.

I'm

like spirit animal.

No, no, no.

I know better, but I can't help myself.

We've got a reunion.

We're hot.

We were in LA for Stossy's baby shower.

Oh, yeah.

Paparazzi was there.

When we walked in, they were like, Stasi, you look beautiful.

And I'm really sick of Daily Mail.

Ignoring you.

No, literally cutting me out of pictures.

Tell them.

Here's talk straight to camera.

Tell them.

Here's ignoring me.

And then there's like, they go out of their way to like chop my face in half.

Like at her wedding, I'm the officiant.

They chop my face in half.

That's disgusting.

It's disgusting.

Like, who do I know that hates me that works for the Daily Mail?

Who did you bully in middle school who now is like the editor at Daily Mail?

Somebody.

Yeah.

So anyway,

the paparazzi guy said, Stasi, you look gorgeous.

And I went like this.

I'm Taylor Streker.

You did?

What did he say?

He laughed.

Okay.

And I'm like, I'm so deranged and thirsty.

You're Taylor Armstrong in the making.

I mean, literally.

Taylor Shreker Armstrong.

You got a queen.

I'm like, I was absolutely

with this video.

She's a role model.

She's a role model.

I also love that she's just like laughing it off and like not taking herself too seriously.

I think she's really just happy to be back in like the Bravo universe and in the limelight.

Yeah.

And she's having fun.

But this video

changed my life.

It made me like her because I've like really disliked her forever.

It actually, it kind of humanized her.

Like we've all just been drunk.

She's a silly drunk girly.

She's silly.

She made herself husband liked it, which I love.

I agree.

I'm not watching this new season, so I don't know much about their marriage, but based on that, you don't really see anything about the marriage.

I feel like they actually have a good marriage.

They've been married for a really long time.

I feel like she went through a really dark period, found him, and then lived a quiet life, and now she's ready to come back.

Like, she's healed.

Yes.

And he just stood there, even though she was acting like a nut.

And he just supported her.

And you know what?

I agree.

Like, it actually really made me like him.

Yep.

He laughed.

He wasn't like, because it'd be so easy to be like, honey, let's go.

Let's go and get mad.

But like, he just

let her be the drunk freak that she was being.

And she didn't say anything bad or embarrassing.

She was just being silly, goofy Taylor.

I love her.

I love her too.

Our fifth and final story is a story I also am obsessed with.

It's another housewives adjacent story, but it has nothing to do with like actual housewives.

Taylor, Taylor.

Teresa Judice

is being slammed for taking a photo at Starbucks in Switzerland while on a trip with her husband, Luis.

So Teresa indulged in a little piece of America while traveling abroad.

She shared a photo on Instagram on Monday that showed that she ordered a strawberry acai refresher at Starbucks on her and her husband's trip to Switzerland.

In a slideshow from the getaway, a city known for its medieval architecture, she posted a snap in front of Starbucks.

And the comments were having a field day.

Imagine going all the way to Switzerland and hitting the Starbucks.

How about when you're in another country, you just eat their food, drink their drinks, live like they do, and immerse yourself in their culture.

Get Starbucks when you're home.

However, a third user who did not see what was wrong with the photo rhetorically asked, is Switzerland famous for its coffee?

It's not, if not, it's not okay to go to an internationally recognized place for coffee question mark.

So let me just say that this is the most Teresa thing ever.

Like, one thing about Teresa is that she's never pretended to be someone she's not.

Like she's a tacky bitch.

Yes.

Like she is a jersey queen.

Did you see her hair at her wedding?

Are you really surprised she went to Starbucks in Switzerland?

And I hate these people who are so like hoity-toity like assholes about traveling.

Like I would just rather have like the Swiss.

Just shut up.

Like Brian, our best friend, who is literally a traveling guru.

Yes.

I would think, I think he would say there's nothing wrong with going to Starbucks.

I'm sure he's gone to Starbucks in a country that's even famous for coffee.

Like we like what we like.

And it's, what's wrong with it?

We at McDonald's in Lisbon every single night.

So true.

That's more so.

And I'll late night.

No, well, that we were drunk, but also like just personally, like Portuguese food was not for me.

Yes.

Cause I'm a very particular eater.

Yes.

I meant to tell you, I tried caviar last night.

And I actually liked it.

Oh, my God.

I had tried caviar.

So I went, I actually tried caviar at the mark.

Like a month ago.

Okay.

It was for my birthday.

We had a family dinner and caviar was on the table.

I'm like, you know what?

Let me try it.

it yep and i literally thought it was disgusting it was really like salt watery is that what it tastes like i mean yes it also depends like on which kind you're getting for sure so then last night i went to the mark again but i went to caviar caspia at the mark which is like a caviar restaurant okay and um one of the appetizers was like a caviar pizza so it was like a pizza but it was made of like it was kind of like a potato latka yep like really thin crispy potato and just little dollops of caviar and i don't know if there was like a lot of butter on the potato but i felt like i was eating just butter is that what caviar tastes like no it is it's like like when it's the good good, it's like smooth butter.

Not that you would know for my birthday party because you were so busy shoveling it onto Margo and Ben's wife

with a metal spoon.

Yeah, I did.

Listen, I'm like Teresa.

I'm like disgusting and tacky and American.

Like, and I'm proud of that.

I hate when people look down on like, oh, Americans.

Like, fuck you, bitch.

We're the greatest country on earth.

Eat my ass, motherfucker.

Who do you think invented Starbucks?

That's in all your little fucking countries.

We did, bitch, an American, Howard Schultz.

I was going to say, with Teresa, it's like you can't take the girl.

I mean, you can take her out of Jersey, but you can't take the Jersey out of the girl.

That's perfect.

But with Teresa, I have to say, I love to drag her, but I am so on her side with this.

First of all, in Europe, in case you've been to Europe, you might not know this, but they do not have iced coffee anywhere.

That's true.

It's the weirdest thing.

So, like, thank God for a Starbucks.

Oh my God, you know, you just made me crave.

Wow, I'm like really hungry this morning.

I know.

You know, you just made me crave.

Iced coffee in Israel is very different.

Really?

Have you ever had it?

Never.

So it's basically all the makings of like iced coffee, you know, coffee, cream, sugar, whatever, but they blend it.

So with literally,

it looks like a milkshake.

And they serve it everywhere, like bodegas, like hot dog carts on the street.

Like they serve it everywhere and everywhere.

Like the dirtier and cheaper, the better.

And I'm sure it has like a thousand calories.

It doesn't matter.

It's the best.

Let's fly to Israel right now.

Wow.

I've actually never wanted something more than I want that right now.

Go get a coffee.

Yum.

Yep.

So one thing, I actually never have Teresa's side, but I fully have her back in this.

Like, me too.

Leave Teresa alone.

The taking of the picture was dumb.

Okay, yeah, I mean, I would have put it on my Instagram.

That's how we look.

Oh, my God.

That's good.

Thanks.

I've been practicing.

That's really good.

Did you learn that from Andrea Lopez?

I did learn it from Andrea Lopez.

She's so good.

Oh, my God.

That was really good.

Thanks, girl.

I agree.

I probably wouldn't have put it on my Instagram.

But the thing is, I'm not Teresa Judais, so I have to live with that.

Like, why?

Why did they want to, did you, did you see those pictures?

It was like,

it went viral.

A couple for their wedding.

Olive Garden.

Olive Garden.

Taylor, that literally went viral probably four years ago.

It did not.

No, actually, four years ago.

Four weeks ago.

No.

Okay, ready?

Like, let me tell you, because I saw that people were talking about this olive garden thing again.

I'm like, this was literally four years ago.

That's so on-brand for me.

Olive Garden engagement shoot.

People, this couple took their engagement photos outside of an olive garden, and

people thought that it was Italy.

So this article.

Oh, it's hilarious, but I just thought it recently happened.

This is from 2022.

That's a year ago.

You want to know why they're getting married next month?

Okay, okay.

Maybe that's why everyone's talking about it again.

But it was a year ago.

You know,

you know, I'm trying with TikTok and everything.

I know.

And it says I'm TikTok's granny because, like, hello.

Am I your granny?

Yeah.

But Tay said it's confusing because I look so young.

Well, she's your wife.

You're such a fucking bitch.

No, I'm kidding.

You literally look 12.

You look like Timotay.

Oh my God, thank you.

You should date Timote.

I should date Timotee.

Age-appropriate relationship.

Well, those were the fast five, but thankfully we are not done yet yet because today's Wednesday and we do our weekly advice segment called Dear Toasters on Wednesdays.

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So if you want to write in, you can always write into your girls.

It's totally anonymous.

You can either email us to your toasters at gmail.com or head over to our website, the toastpodcast.com.

And there's a little submission box there.

You can write in, you know, your hopes, dreams, and wishes to get advice from your girlies.

Today's is very interesting.

I'm actually very excited about the first one, okay?

Okay.

Hey, guys, I won the lottery a little less than a year ago.

Not the recent billion dollar jackpot, but it was still a multi-million dollar jackpot, which is exciting, and I'm very grateful.

I've tried really hard to keep this secret just to protect myself, especially in my dating life.

Thankfully, my state allows winners to stay anonymous.

My immediate family knows, so it's not like I'm lying to it's not like I'm dying to tell anyone else.

I'm not a showy person, so just people don't know.

I started dating a guy a few months ago and things are getting serious.

I've been struggling with whether I should tell him my big secret.

We've opened up to each other about other things, so I feel a little bad holding this back.

On the one hand, winning the lottery is a really big deal in my life, and I want to share all the significant things in my life with my boyfriend.

I worry that relationships can't last or get to the next level if either person is keeping secrets from their partner.

I also don't want him to find out too late and then be upset that I didn't trust him enough and tell him sooner.

But I also want to be responsible and protect myself.

Do you think I should just tell him now?

If not, at what point in a relationship would be a good time to say something?

I'm torn, so I'm very curious what you girls think.

Thanks for the advice.

First of all, I can't believe all I do is talk about the lottery.

I can't believe somebody who listens to my show won the lottery.

Like, obsessed.

I'm so jealous.

I'm so happy for you.

Like, for real.

Like, that's me.

That's jealous.

That's a dream.

That's a dream.

It's literally the American dream.

But, but like fame, as we said earlier, there is a curse that comes along with this.

And I just want to say you sound really smart.

And the fact that you chose to stay anonymous and that you don't tell people, like, I think is 100% the right thing to do.

Like, keep doing that.

I need to know how much money you have.

She said multi-million.

So I want to say, yes.

I'm going to say.

Between five and ten.

I like to count people's money.

Me too.

It's my favorite thing in the world.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

So let's say 10.

Okay.

Easy math.

That's life-changing money.

Life-changing money.

You can live off, I'm assuming, investments and dividends for like ever.

For a while.

But like at a, at like a nor, a normal-isher level, right?

It depends what kind of life you're leading.

It sounds like she didn't change anything in her life.

She just kept the money, and which is really smart.

You know, people who win, you know, a couple million dollars then buy houses and boats and in a year's time, they're broke.

Right.

So it sounds like you're being so responsible.

Like, I feel like I'm so proud of you.

I'm impressed.

Honestly, like, keep your life small.

You know, you don't have to ever worry about paying rent, but like, don't buy the biggest house in the yard.

Like, just be smart.

And I feel like that's what you're doing.

And I'm really proud of you.

And honestly, I really feel like keeping it from someone is the smart thing to do.

You said you've been together for a few months.

That makes me think like three to five months.

I feel like, okay, I'm trying to think about like major things that like have happened like in my life for like I'm thinking about like my parents and like when you decide to tell people that you love in your life about those said things.

You know, it's a part of your like story.

This happens to be a good thing.

Usually it's like something sad or like something major.

Honestly, like money really does change people.

Like, I'm sorry, I would wait.

I think you should continue to wait as well.

I think there will be like

lying.

You're not lying.

It's a lie by omission, but it's not a lie.

I think that

you should wait.

And I do think there will be a moment where you feel like completely comfortable and accepted by this person.

And I think it's better to have waited too long than to have told too early.

I agree with that.

So

I'm going to be cautious here.

You could tell a lot by his reaction when you do tell him, which is a great litmus test.

Yeah.

And also though,

I'm wondering if you guys split things or if he pays for everything because like as a heteronormative woman, I was all about like a guy paying for fucking everything.

Regardless of situation.

Now, of course, I'm with a woman and I'm like the breadwinner.

So whatever, whatever.

But like, I just feel like if he is like shelling out fucking Mac daddy money and you're sitting there like on a pile of gold, that might piss him off.

But I also don't want you undo like chivalry.

Yeah, no, don't say anything.

Like for real.

And get yourself a prenup.

I'm sure he's a nice guy, but if you do get engaged, like, girl, protect your lottery wins.

You have to.

That's not even a question.

Don't, do not be stupid.

And you can also do something in a prenup where it's like everything that you had before the marriage is yours.

After, we're good.

After it's, and if you choose to commingle, that's the word, then like it becomes like joint property.

But I definitely would wait.

Wait.

I think you wait until, I wonder, how about this?

Have you said I love you yet?

I'm sure that they have.

I don't think she would be considering if she haven't.

Wait a year.

Yeah, honestly, like, I don't think being together with someone for a year before sharing that kind of information is that crazy.

I agree.

Better to wait too long than to, you know, prematurely ejaculate.

I'm trying to think when I've like told Tay about like money stuff in our relationship.

Took a really long time.

Money is.

I don't have millions.

I want everyone to know.

Yeah.

No, but money's funny.

Money's really, really bad.

Actually, wait.

That's my advice.

And see how your life is without him knowing it's there.

Right.

Because that's when you're really going to tell the person that you're with.

All right, are you ready for our next one?

Yes.

Hey, Jackson turd.

I need some advice, specifically from Claudia, because I too have a husband who doesn't support women in writing.

I'm dead.

I do have a problem.

I used to love reading as a teenager, but I fell out of it because life got in the way.

During COVID, I started reading again, and I prefer smut books.

Do you know what smut is?

Oh, hell yeah.

Okay.

My husband says that I'm basically reading porn and he is uncomfortable with it.

He believes that I'm thinking of other men, picturing myself as the female characters.

How do I explain for him that this is truly just a hobby for for me?

I'm a stay-at-home mom of four.

It's the only thing that I do for me.

He feels as though it's a form of cheating.

How do I convince him that it's really innocent?

Make him read a book.

That's a lot, girl.

No, like honestly, I, and I feel like this, I read a profile of Colleen Hoover in the New York Times because she really got like romance novels back in popular culture and like accepted as literature, not as like this dumb hobby for women.

And I'm really like annoyed.

I get like annoyed when people like discount romance novels.

Like, first of all, it's the same, someone reads Twilight to like escape into fantastical realism, magical realism.

Like

reading romance novels is valid, first of all.

Second of all, I think if your husband read one, he might understand like they're really good.

Also, and I can't believe I'm saying this, the consummate prude, but like also, like, does my wife watch porn?

I honestly don't know.

I'm gonna, if I had to like bet, I'd say probably.

And like, does she masturbate and I'm not involved?

Yes, like you're allowed, like, even if it is porn, which it's not, but even if it were,

not, and it's certainly not a form of cheating.

What a nerd.

Definitely not a form of cheating.

I don't know.

I just feel like he, like, he is so dead ass wrong.

It's beyond.

He's so dead ass wrong.

And honestly, like, you being a stay-at-home mom of four, like, it's probably, like, I can't imagine a harder job.

Like, in my, in the entire world, I don't think anything is harder than that.

Yep.

And if you have found something that makes you happy, like, please do not stop.

Honestly, I do, I actually feel like this is a hill worth dying on.

Like, it's important to you and it should be important to him.

And he's being really dumb and small-minded.

And this is such a classic man thing to think.

Such a man thing.

You're so dumb.

Like, you don't even know the joy that reading brings.

And I also want to know, speaking of porn, does he watch porn?

Right.

Now we're going to go there.

Now we are going to go there.

And now we've said it.

So let's investigate every little thing you do.

You read, you look, you watch.

Right, you're so perfect.

High and pious on this mountain of shaming me.

And actually, I would argue that smut books like really

awaken the like it can really inspire women in their relationships.

It gives you ideas.

It gets you, you know, lubed up.

Yes.

I honestly, I feel like it's beneficial for marriages that maybe have had like, you know, a sexual rut.

Yes.

I'm a big believer in the power of smut, and don't let your husband tell you otherwise.

He's a dumb ogre.

Okay, ready for our third and final one?

Yes, please.

Hey, girly swirlies.

I recently decided I want to get work on my chin and jaw done.

Okay.

I gathered the information.

I presented it all to my husband, who's a very loving, generous, precious gem of a man.

His response, definitely worth spending that money to look prettier.

He meant it in the nicest way, but his response really should have been something like, you're the most gorgeous woman just the way you are.

But of course, do whatever you want to make you happy.

I need you to say it again to me, what he said.

Definitely worth spending that money to look prettier.

Is he being sarcastic?

I don't think so.

She said like he meant it.

He thought he was saying something nice.

He's like, I'm supportive.

Right.

He was trying.

Like, now part of me doesn't want to do it because of his response, although I know that's silly since I really want to have it done.

Right.

Would love some perspective.

Well, as somebody who's got her chin and jaw line done, let me tell you, it was hands down the best thing I ever did.

It was a lot of money for me.

And I was like, you know what?

I don't care.

Like, and I have not once regretted getting it, not once regretted spending the money.

Honestly, I couldn't have spent the money on anything better.

So from the POV, from someone whose chin and jaw really bothered them, just know you will be happy on the other end.

Just know that.

But now with the husband, if his intentions were in the right place, like I don't think you can be mad or like really take what he said into consideration.

So here's the thing, not doing it because of his response.

His response was ass, by the way.

Yeah, but he didn't mean it.

He short-circuited.

He got confused.

Men are so, that's like kind of the message of today's deer toasters.

Like, men are so mentally unwell.

They're dying.

They're not okay.

So, and we honestly, we have to like take care of them like the little babies that they are.

Like Timite.

Like Timite.

It was honestly nice of you to run it by him like that you're gonna get it done, but you didn't need his permission and like you should 100% still do it.

Yeah, he short-circuited.

So here's the thing.

Not getting it done is like the epitome of cutting your nose off to spite your face.

Literally.

Or your keeping your chin, not cutting it off.

Yeah.

Like, you're just going to punish yourself in the long run.

You wanted this before him.

It's not like he looked at you and said, hey, chinless, go get a chin.

Yeah.

Hey, your chin looks bad.

Is there anything we can do about that chin?

I'm Jay Leno.

Jay Leno.

So you should definitely do it.

But I also have a partner who's very, like, I really want to get stuff done with my teeth.

I definitely like anticipate like a facelift at some point in life.

I too.

And Taylor is like insane about it.

She's like, she's like a guy.

Ben too.

And it's so annoying.

But let me tell you how I used to be like, I'm going to get Botox and lip filler.

And now I just go.

And he literally doesn't even notice.

Exactly.

So it's better to ask for forgiveness information.

So even though he said something stupid, at least he's supportive.

Yeah.

You could have a partner like ours that says no.

Yeah.

Or like a partner.

You know, money also is a factor in this for a lot of women in hetero relationships.

If they're stay-at-home moms, and their husband, they're like, well, no, you can't put that on the credit card.

Yeah.

It's literally financial abuse.

Like, I had a friend that got a boob job and it was like a, it was a thing.

Right.

Exactly.

But now he loves them.

Right.

I mean, boobs, I'm surprised any man would fight.

I know.

I'm literally.

Well, he loved her as she was.

And she was like, I look like Kevin McAllister.

No, like my shirt off.

That's sweet.

That's sweet.

But stop.

That's the thing, though.

I think the intention of the

right answer is always, what are you talking about?

I don't even see that.

It looks perfect, but do whatever you want.

Exactly.

You're perfect as is, but whatever you want, I support.

Yeah.

My life won't fully begin until the day comes where I get my boobs done.

You know, let's do a BOGO.

I'll go in with you.

Okay, I'm doing a reduction in a lift when

I'm done breastfeeding my children.

Oh, my God.

Who don't exist yet?

Okay.

And I'm like holding off my life for these kids who I don't even know.

Isn't it so annoying?

It's disgusting.

My kids are already stealing my money from me.

I wanted to go on a romantic trip with my wife, and she was like, no, we got to be a little bit more.

I have a stage for the kid.

You want me to love this thing?

You've already started the financial journey to childhood, correct?

Yeah, and we're starting to move like my office in our apartment up up to the shipping container.

Like, that's like getting the nursery kind of primes.

Yeah, no, you're definitely like a year.

What would you say?

I would like to hold out until you're ready to go.

I know, that would be so great if you're going to go.

Because talk about trauma bonding.

I know, bitch, you're not even the one who has to get pregnant.

I can't even talk to you about this.

You don't even know how good you have it.

Your wife wants to do everything and is like more than happy to let you just lay and drink wine.

I could just like not have a child ever.

No, you're gonna be an amazing mom.

Oh my God, thank you.

You're actually extremely nurturing and maternal.

And I actually love this journey for you, for real.

For real?

For real.

Like, I know you like doubt your abilities a lot.

That's just because like you're like fishing for compliments.

You, it's not true.

I'm just really worried about money.

I know.

I'm money obsessed.

And I still will never get over the fact that somebody listens to the Toastman the Lottery.

I'm so jealous of you.

Can you send me money?

Okay, here's the thing, Taylor.

There's never, even people who have a lot of money don't have enough money for kids.

Like it's all relative.

And you make it work.

You just do.

I just sometimes wish like I had a talk with wusband and I was like, hey, I'm a lesbian, but you're a nice guy.

Yeah.

How about we stay married?

I can have his girlfriend on the side.

Yeah.

And we can have like this weird throt ball.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love that.

I feel like we helped a lot of people today.

Yeah.

And I love seeing you.

Thank you so much for being here.

Thank you so much.

I love being here.

I love the toasters.

I love the

community.

If you liked what you heard here today, Taylor does her own daily show at an hour a day.

It's at Patreon.

It's a very good price for a daily show, $6.95.

Thank you.

Taylor, patreon.com/slash the Taylor Strecker Show.

You got it.

And follow follow you on Instagram, Taylor Strecker.

Taylor Strecker.

And please listen to Taste of Taylor.

It's free.

Free podcast she does every week.

I've been on it a bunch of times.

Brian's on it.

Ben's on it.

Margo's on it.

Everyone's on it.

You're supporting my whole family.

Literally.

I love it.

It's called Taste of Taylor, and you can get it anywhere you get your podcast.

Thank you so much for listening to The Toast of the Monday Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories.

You need to know everybody for Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts in our podcast can be found.

So it's Spotify, Edgar and Stritcher, Public Radio, IHR Radio Cast Watch all the places we listen to the podcast.

Find us the Toast Evil Five Star View Bed Out of View something.

And wickedly talented we are.

Hope you guys have an amazing hump day.

We'll see you tomorrow.

We are in the studio with a special guest host who's never been on the show.

It is Fibula.

Well, his name's Connor, but everyone calls him Fibula.

We'll see you then.

Love you.

Bye.