Yar Garls Are Back: Tuesday, September 5th, 2023

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the toast.

Happy Tuesday.

That feels like a Monday.

That feels like a celebración.

Because the toast is back.

The maternity leave has come to an end.

Your girls are back and we're singing already.

Hey, Jax, how are you, Dan?

I'm good.

I have slightly less energy than you.

That's understandable.

You know,

you are a year and a half older than me.

So old, the elder's going to eld.

Wow.

Wow.

We're going to go there.

We're going to hit below the belt this morning.

Oh, is that below the belt?

I feel like you're really not left here about your age.

Like you're really on track for your life.

Like you're good.

I was going to say that, that actually, like, if I said that to you you, it would hurt that's hurtful wounding for me not really whatsoever um but yeah feeling really good gave birth three weeks ago what's good counts um but i'm really happy to be back i'm happy to be back in my studio So we have not podcasted like this, our classic remote setup, Jackson, Florida studio, me at Toast HQ in New York City.

We haven't done this actual technical setup in months.

I literally forgot how to do it.

I know something's going to go wrong.

I just have a feeling.

No, totally.

Not since March, because in April, like the few shows that we did, we did together in Florida.

So we haven't done this setup since March, which is really crazy.

But

I think it's looking good.

I'm excited to see how it all looks post-show.

We have so much to update everyone.

So, first of all, it has been three weeks since you've become a mother of two.

You had your son.

What's his birthday?

Let me guess.

Let me guess.

I think I heard you say August 13th.

No.

Oh.

August 30th?

No.

When was it?

When was it yesterday?

When was it?

August 14th.

Oh, okay.

I was close.

Yeah.

So I have August 14th, Charlie was born.

August 15th, Bruno's birthday.

It's just kind of a jam-packed week in my life.

August used to have no significance to me, but now it's like two of my boys.

They're big days.

That's beautiful.

And they can't.

And

how's motherhood of two different than motherhood of one?

You know what?

It's really great.

I found personally that the change from zero to one is so much harder than one to two.

It's so much more enjoyable when you know what you're doing.

Like I was so overwhelmed when I had Harry, like, what do babies do all day?

How

often are they supposed to eat?

I had no concept of like breastfeeding, like that I would have to be doing it.

all day, every day.

Like I just didn't think about it.

And I learned on the job.

And so now having all those skills and being able to enjoy so much of it, it's really been wonderful, honestly.

The hardest part of like having two, I would say, is just making sure like the bigger one like doesn't harm the smaller one because Harry's so excited about the baby.

And he doesn't know his own strength.

No, he doesn't.

And there's no jealousy as of yet.

Like he's just, anytime he's like throwing a tantrum and I want to cheer him up, I'm like, want to see the baby?

Literal smile on his face immediately.

He loves the baby, but you know, he doesn't know his own strength.

He's still working through his motor skills.

So just trying to get them to be together, but not too close.

Like slap each other.

Not, it's only one way.

Right, right, right.

It's only a one-way street.

That's probably like the biggest difficulty.

And also like toddlers just have germs and they're on other kids that are sick.

So like just trying to keep everyone close, but separate.

Well.

We miss you over here.

I can't lie.

Like the day you left, I could tell.

I didn't know you were headed to the airport, but the city just kind of became like gray.

And the city was literally weeping for your departure.

We missed you terribly.

I am going to see you in literally one week for the Jewish holidays, which is nice.

But it's not the same.

Even though I do love remote podcasting with you, I feel like we do our best work like this.

I'm so glad that you love it so much because it allows me to live.

To move to Florida.

To live wherever I want.

True.

And it is a great situation.

Being a mama, like a new postpartum mama and having my studio in my house is amazing.

This morning, I actually, I got up really early because like.

Charlie fed at 6.45.

Typically, like I would go back to sleep with him, but I just like got up and did my makeup so that I wouldn't get rushed.

Yeah, be rushed.

But just the commute up the stairs, I'm not gonna lie, it was hard today.

My leg hurts.

I mean, stairs are literally my enemy.

I hate stairs with every fiber of my being, and I will do literally anything to avoid them.

No, but also, like, I'm still recovering.

And what's weird about my recoveries, it feels like I feel like an athlete, like I've pulled muscles is how, like, when I try and like get in the car, it's like my leg that hurts.

I have to like help my legs.

It's you, and you kind of are an athlete yeah

yeah yeah that's like all those tick tocks like what's not an olympic sport but feels like olympic sport they say being pregnant but also giving birth to a nine and a half

a nine and a half pound baby pound nine and a half pound baby literally motherhood is an olympic sport motherhood breastfeeding Yeah, no, and just like being around kids is exhausting.

Breastfeeding is an Olympic sport.

Like the woman who produces the most, like who has bags and bags in her freezer like deserves a gold medal.

It's not me.

I didn't win.

Olivia Olivia Ashre.

Olivia Ashre is a gold medalist in breastfeeding.

A hundred percent.

Actually,

probably because even though I don't have children, but I talk to you and just like we're always talking about like kids and stuff, my phone serves me with like mom content, especially on TikTok.

And I've ended up on like super producer TikTok where like women who are like super producers, when they wake up, they're like, all right, I have to pump after my sleep.

And they will literally produce a gallon of, like, literally looks like it came from the grocery store

it's the craziest thing super producer olivia is a super producer i'm not one but this time around breastfeeding is better than it was the first time

also it just gets easier the more like the subsequent children you have the first time is always going to be the hardest but like even a super producer like olivia didn't have a hard first time from the get so it can happen for people those magical people this has just been like a really crazy chapter of our lives not to make everything about me, but like I was included in it.

You were a big part of the book and the chapter.

Yeah.

Of the book.

And the chapter is closed.

Like, how do you feel?

I feel like it was such a really treacherous six months, right?

Yeah.

How long it was?

Five, yeah, we're in this sixth month now.

Pain, uncertainty, you know, lots of anxiety.

And, you know, knockwood, God is good, Baruch Hashem.

We made it out on the other end and Chirlie is just chirleying.

How do you feel?

I feel.

At a glance.

At a glance.

At a glance, I'm just like, whoa, what a crazy five months.

And as I was going through it, I was aware that I wasn't really processing anything more than I needed to.

Like, obviously, the stuff with the pregnancy, like I have to be very present and like in making hard decisions and stuff.

But like the moving and the being in our old apartment and being like, well, we have a house.

Like I just wasn't processing any of it.

And I felt like when I got home, it would all just feel like a dream kind of, which it does kind of.

But now that I'm home, I'm just like, whoa.

And I'm also realizing how much more more furniture I need.

Like, yeah, you like left your house half empty.

Yeah.

Like it was,

those things that didn't bother me before I left.

Like now I'm like, we need a rug here.

We need a runner here.

My bathroom needs this.

Like, and so that's kind of like, I just kind of want to get into the process of like making it our home.

Nesting.

100%.

Yeah, I really feel like nesting.

So I didn't get to nest in my pregnancy, really, because what am I going to do in not my apartment?

Right.

And so now I want to do all those things, but one, I can't really stand for more than 10 minutes without having like really bad back pain.

And two, Charlie won't be set down.

He's on his mama 24-7.

Right now, he's on his daddy and he's allowing mommy to work, which he does do.

He does let me work.

But beyond that, he's like, you're not going to nest.

You're not going to clean out your closet.

You're not going to cook.

No.

So to confirm, you are now two for two with giving birth to boys who support women in business?

Yes, they do.

And they support working moms.

They support.

They support working moms.

And here's what.

You're not allowed.

You're not allowed to comment on my mispronunciations because I'm in postpartum.

Like, I have postpartum brain.

I get postpartum brain worse than pregnancy brain.

I was watching the interview with Dr.

Fox, which, by the way, dropped on Patreon, my OBGYN, who Mr.

Sir Klaj, like.

He's the guy.

We did a Patreon episode and it was amazing.

But I was watching the interview and I'm just like flubbing words left and right.

Okay.

You know what?

I agree.

I will not comment.

And I honestly just do it because it's funny, but like, you're right.

It's not cool.

You're post-pregnancy.

You're, you know, not sleeping.

It's not right.

It's disgusting of me, actually.

No, I appreciate the self-awareness, but it's just, I'm not fair game right now.

No, not at all.

But so does that mean if I do it, you're going to lay off of me or not?

Well, the problem is that you only do it during ads and I can't stop you from talking.

This is a place of business.

This is a place of business.

When I do it and I'm reading the stories, you get to interrupt me and make fun of me, but I can't stop the ad.

Like, we've got to get our coin.

Speaking of stories, we have five today.

Is that correct?

The stories just fell down from this.

It took me two seconds to get it.

Literally mana from the heavens.

And sometimes when we are on a break and we come back, we do like the five story, the five big stories.

But one, we've been Patreoning for the last month, so it's all over there.

And two, like there's big news from the weekend and the stories are extremely from the last 48 hours.

Yeah, I can't wait to get into all of their that, all of that, that there is.

But like, I do like really quickly, just, I know my, obviously, maternity leave, like, wasn't as important as yours, but like, I did kind of like do a lot.

So like, is it okay if I just really quickly talk about it?

Yeah.

Let me formally ask you, Claude, how was your break?

It was amazing.

Honestly, the unemployed life is definitely a life worth living.

Like it was everything.

Like so much sleep, so much peace.

On day like two or three,

I really figured

it's not like a sustainable life, the unemployed life.

It's nice to have.

And a month month is a long time.

But I did make the decision on like day, literally day two.

I was walking around.

I was so bored, like literally had nothing to do.

And I joined the gym.

And that was huge for me.

And I was just checking.

I really wanted to be like really active during maternity leave.

And I just checked my app because it like logs how many active days you had.

I had 18 active days in the month of August, which I feel like is really good, especially because I played pickleball like five times when I didn't go to the gym.

So that's like 23 active days.

Like that's amazing.

Oh, you had 18 active days in the gym app.

Just in the gym.

Okay.

Well, you need to get, Claude, like, I just, I can't believe this is your journey, but you need to get a wearable to track all your activity.

I know.

You could get an or a ring, but also whoop had reached out.

They wanted us to start wearing whoops.

And not to be like that girl, but like my trainer.

Yeah, my trainer.

She loves whoop.

She was wearing the whoop and she was telling me all about it.

She's like, you got to get whoop.

I also saw this is cool.

And this is not an ad for whoop, but they did.

Not an ad.

They did want us to try out whoop and to see if we wanted to work with them.

And when I was active like three years ago, I was on the cusp of getting a whoop.

And instead, I got pregnant.

So similar.

But I saw on your trainer's Instagram that the whoop, when you're going to a fancy event and you don't want to wear the whoop with your dress, like when people wear Apple Watches to a wedding, they make whoop undies where you take off the bit of tech and you put it in your undies.

That way you'll get, if you're at a wedding, you'll get the dancing points, but you don't have to walk around with that ugly thing.

Jackie, like when I go back on tour, think about all my steps.

Claudia's tour number three, brought to you by whoop.

Whoop.

Open up.

Yes.

Okay.

So I joined the gym, life-changing.

Like I feel amazing.

Like I really do, not to be like that bitch.

The first three weeks, I was like, why do people enjoy this?

And I'm still not the type of, like, I will, I'm going to go today and it's the bane of my existence.

I woke up.

It was the first thing I thought about.

Like, I'm never going to be one of those people.

I'm like, I need to sweat.

Like, no, I'm just doing it because I have to.

But I do feel myself getting like a little stronger, which is good.

You know, I'm not like out of breath after a flight of stairs.

Like when I go to lunch at Bloomingdales, which is, you know, every daily occurrence.

When I enter on Lexington Avenue, you have to take the stairs up.

And I literally like found a way.

If you go through the men's department, there's an escalator.

But I've been taking the stairs.

Like, and I'm not out of breath.

Like just little things in my day-to-day that are changed.

Oh, and if you like are shocked to be hearing this and you've not been alive for the past month, I also dropped on Patreon during Jackie's maternity leave my journey with Ozempic.

I think there was a lot of, you know, speculation about how Turti lost her weight and a lot of people wanting to know if I'm on Ozempic.

And I did a whole episode on it because I am.

And now that I've, you know, spoken my truth,

prepare to be sick of me.

Prepare to be sick of me.

Like, I can't stop talking about it.

Taylor Streker is coming out of the podcast tomorrow.

The whole episode is going to be about Ozempic because she's on it too.

It's so funny for so long.

People wanting to talk, wanting you to talk about Ozempic.

And it's like, now they're going to wish that you would shut up about Ozempic.

No, they're like, not her making this her whole personality.

Yeah.

What else?

It literally is your personality.

I'm obsessed.

Yeah, so you should listen to that Patreon episode if you didn't already.

And let's just give like a shout out to the Patreon that was just on fire doing the most in the month of August.

Like we just had episodes pouring out of us.

And I want to say, like, of course, I'm so sorry that we were gone for a month.

I know that I'm not trying to diminish anyone's trauma.

Like, I know it's probably really, really hard for you guys, but I feel like if you had Patreon, like, it really wasn't that bad.

We were doing premium content, audio, video, confessions, doctorals.

Like it was literally a work of art.

No, and we were dropping like once a week.

So we were just like every other podcast.

Right, weekly.

And there was that one week where there was so much news and it was like, what does the toast think about this?

And we did a fast five episode.

So we were really giving.

No, I feel giving to be back.

I can't lie.

Like knowing how much people loved us, like.

It feels amazing how much they missed us.

It was nice to be missed.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Do you think maybe today's episode will beat Smartless?

I feel like if there ever was a shot in hell, it's this one.

Yeah.

Although, although I did, I don't know if I told you this.

I found out something really interesting about the Apple charts.

I don't know if anyone cares about this.

But, you know, we've always said the Apple charts are like a very interesting algorithm.

It's not basically, oh, this episode has a million downloads and this one has 2 million.

Like it's not numeric.

But there is that.

That does factor.

Of course, of course.

But a part of the algorithm is subscribers.

You know, you can do, kind of like how we do on Patreon.

You can do paid content content on Apple.

And if you have a paid show, like a tier of subscription on Apple, you are prioritized in the charts, which Smartless is.

I'm just saying.

And we're not, we don't have subscriptions.

We don't do Apple subscription.

So

maybe something to think about.

If we did, we can beat Smartless.

Maybe.

We're going to do it on our own merits.

So I, hold on.

I just had a list of things I wanted to update everyone on.

And one of them is something that's going to make you laugh so hard.

I wanted to share a really hilarious text message I got from a friend of mine like three days ago, okay?

Okay.

So it's my friend Marnie.

She works for like a big fashion company and she does like a ton of

PR.

Like she's always sending us stuff.

And she texted me that she was putting together like a package of things for you and Jackie.

And I just received this voicemail from my warehouse and I am wheezing.

You need to listen to it.

Okay.

I'm going to play it into the microphone.

Wait, do I know Marnie?

I don't think so.

Okay.

But I wonder if you'll be able to hear it in my microphone.

We'll give it a a shot

hey morning good morning it's scott moman um i'd appreciate you give me a call back when you get this message it deals with this note that you want to send to this one influencer um i i'm just

i i saw the way what you what you wrote and i'm concerned that maybe there was just a little bit of a typo or something but in your original email you you called her by the name of turdy t-u-r-d-y-lou

that struck me as a little bit odd maybe Maybe I thought it was you meant to say Trudy Lou.

Trudy.

I just need to validate.

I had my wife write a card to both Trudy Lou and Turdy Lou.

Not sure which one I should be sending.

I just want you to validate for me the correct name.

Thanks a bunch.

We'll hold off on sending this out until you get back to me.

Thank you.

Bye.

And so Marnie's a toaster.

She was dying.

Year 2-4 be known as Trudy Lou.

I love it.

I love it.

It's giving Altivia.

It's giving...

No, Trudy Lou is my name.

Trudy Lou.

Oh, my God.

What a precious angel.

He's so sweet.

She's like, he's like the sweet old man.

He was just like wanting to make sure that it wasn't a typo.

Trudy.

That's so funny.

Did you see that thing that Zach sent you on Instagram from the Saturday Big Ten game?

It was like from Barstool posted it.

Remind me.

So it's the two hosts for Saturday sports football, like standing in front of the logo for

the Big Ten Saturday.

And like with their new logo and the way that the hosts were standing, it said Big Turd.

Yeah, no, like have me on as a guest.

I was crying.

That is so funny.

I thought you would enjoy that.

That very sweet PJ energy voicemail.

P-Jom energy.

So it's like kind of like what my maternity was like.

Did Marnie tell him that it was not a typo and that her name is Turdy?

Of course.

Marnie clarified.

And what did he say?

Okay.

Turdy it is.

Turdy it is.

Turdy it shall be.

He said, oh, that poor girl.

Yeah.

They don't know.

Turdy?

They don't know.

That it's like a sign of respect.

It is pretty funny.

You only turdle.

One of the other major things I did during your maternity leave was watch suits.

I think you were the one who told me to watch it, right?

We reported on that

statistic that it was like the number one watch show on Netflix in August, right?

Yes, it was.

And you shared, I think, on the Patreon that you were watching Suits.

Season seven, I'm lit up.

I'm obsessed.

It's literally one of the best shows.

And like, not me being fully obsessed with Megan Markle now.

Like, I totally, I get it.

I get it.

Yeah.

Everyone who did watch Suits back in the day, like, they got it.

They knew.

When she.

She was like a little too beautiful and talented to be on this like random USA Network show.

Like she didn't fit in.

Like she just, you know where she needed to be?

The palace.

Right.

That's where she got.

Right.

Like they weren't shocked that she was dating a prince when it was announced.

And what's so funny is the show is having like a crazy resurgence.

It's like all over TikTok.

And Mike Ross, the actor who plays in Patrick Adams, that guy who's married to Torian Belisario, he changed his Instagram bio to that guy from that show that you're watching on that app because that girl married the prince.

Yeah, he's like, they're making a moment of it.

These people from the show are not like, you know, crazy, busy working actors.

Like they had the show.

Oh, but another fun fact, you're gonna love this.

The best character from the show is Lewis Litt.

He's Jewish on the show and he's Jewish in real life.

And real ones will remember the girl from Princess's Long Island who was dating his brother.

I think his brother's name was like Jeff Hoffman.

And they were like all from Long Island.

And she like thought she was better than everyone because like her boyfriend's brother was like on a TV show that no one was watching at the time.

But now I guess, you know, it's beginning.

Now she's better than everyone.

So I went to his Instagram to like stalk him just to see what Rick was up to.

And

he is in that movie that we like weirdly have non-stop been talking about.

That Tim Dylan is in.

And Addison Ray, Thanksgiving.

He's in it.

I can't wait to see it.

Yeah, it's like an Eli Roth movie that Tim Dylan has been casting, Addison Wright.

Rick Hoffman's in it.

Stars studded.

And Rick Hoffman, I then went to go down a rabbit hole of all the characters from Suits at the royal wedding because she invited every single one of them.

And it was just cool to see them all there, like in their outfits.

But I didn't realize because I wasn't paying attention to the cast of suits at the time that Rick Hoffman, my favorite character, the Jewish guy, went viral.

Because of his outfit.

No, no.

They like panned to him during, and he looked miserable.

Like you never saw a mug like this in your life.

So much so that he actually had to respond.

And he said very honestly, he was like, I was having a lovely time.

The woman next to me had the breath.

of a sewer.

Like he was like, it was so horrible.

Like that's what my face was reacting to, not the nuptials.

It was a beautiful wedding, he clarified.

Wow.

That's kind of crazy to throw her under the bus like that.

I know.

Because it's like, you know,

we could see her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I've been sitting here for 22 minutes and I didn't mention that I'm a new person

in the last week or so.

I know.

Because I've been watching Love Island UK season five.

And the reason why I started with season five is because I watched Untold Jake Paul the night I went into labor.

I told this on the Patreon in my birth story.

And in the documentary, he fights Tommy Fury, who's with Molly Mae.

And I followed, of course.

I had followed Molly Mae on Instagram like right after she gave birth because she's just like a girly and she posts really great content.

But then I saw Tommy on the documentary and I was like, oh, I want to know more.

Let me go to their origin story.

And I'm watching Love Island UK season five.

And I came for Tommy and Molly and they are everything and more.

Like

obsessed beyond.

A love story of a generation.

And i was really like it kind of with blinders on like i'm here to like watch the nuggets of them where are tommy molly in the background like what are tommy and molly doing here

and the way i have just fallen for maura higgins and maura and curtis like claudia you actually have to watch and i know everyone says you have to watch love island uk and we always ignored them but i have not had this much of like a vocal reaction like every time they talk on screen or like kiss or have are cute like i'm literally attacking like oh my my god i'm dying like i literally am laughing cackling they're both so funny smiling i'm so invested and it's been a wonderful postpartum companion show like zach and i watch it every night after harry goes down but then like charlie doesn't actually fall asleep for the night until really late so we probably get like five episodes in every day and it's been so good we have like four left i'll miss it but i also am ready to see how it ends what happens so then i can go stalk everyone pretty sure curtis and Maura aren't together right now because I followed her on Instagram already and she looks like a single girl.

And maybe she's dating like a private businessman, Bo who doesn't want to be on her Instagram.

But if she was dating Curtis Pritchard from the show, like they'd be

blown out.

They're definitely not together.

Plus, this was literally 2019.

Like it's crazy that Tommy and Molly are still together and that they have a baby and that they're engaged.

It's so sweet.

It's so sweet.

Molly's in New York this week.

Should we get her on the toes?

Well, now that I'm gone, no.

But maybe it's good that I'm gone because maybe she wouldn't have come on the toes and then it would have hurt.

Now I could just say it's because like.

Yeah, like Molly didn't, Molly didn't reject us because we never reached up.

Right.

Right.

You can't get hurt if you never get up, you know?

Right.

But I do think she would have loved the toast and

I would have loved to have her.

But anyways, it's been wonderful, Claude.

Like, you really should watch.

Like, I know, you don't understand how I literally cannot watch anything till suits is over.

Ben is a suits like.

torturer actually he's like making me hate the show because i've been really into the us open i want to watch it like every night ben sits there being like can we watch suits?

Can we watch suits?

Can we watch suits?

I'm like, listen, I'm in my tennis girl era.

I'm actually, I think I'm going to go to the U.S.

Open this week.

I'm just like trying to find tickets.

They're like crazy expensive.

And every time I put on tennis, he's like, but what about suits?

It's like so annoying.

I can't watch anything else.

When I'm done with suits, I'm already on season seven.

I'm almost at season eight.

I will watch Love Island, I promise.

What platform?

Hulu.

Hulu.

Got it.

And the only person who's loving the experience more than me is Zach, who

never heard of Love Island.

Like I'm explaining like Casa more.

and I don't even I'm not even a love island expert but he's like how do you know all of this I'm like I don't know it's my job I did watch like the US first three seasons so I know like how Casa Moore works and like you know all the recoupling and whatnot but it has just been honestly like it's been such a positive

In your post in my postpartum journey.

Like I feel like the show that you watch when you're like, actually, I haven't been watching while I'm breastfeeding in the night because Zach is sleeping.

And I can't watch without him.

He won't let me.

And if he watched that without me, no, no.

Divorce.

But I feel like the show that you watch in those days right after you give birth is really a big part of your mental health.

And like

you're thinking about it all the time.

And even when you're sleeping, you're like barely sleeping.

You're just like thinking about whatever you're watching or reading.

And it has been such a great show for this experience.

I love it.

And you know, I've been like dogging TV for the last few months.

Yeah, I don't want to say that, but like you were like kind of negative like a few months ago.

No, but that's just because the content's negative and the content is bad.

and when the content is good I'll be the first one to say it and rave about it But maybe your opinions on these shows were just a reflection of your headspace at the time.

I'll give it a shot.

What did I hate?

I'll go watch it.

Everything.

What did I hate?

I don't remember.

I need a specific.

You watched Selling Sunset.

I love that.

Like I hate loved it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't remember.

Oh, shrinking.

Shrinking, which was good.

Like, stop.

But the thing is, I feel like it would take more to impress me now because I'm like, so drained.

I'm so like, this is stupid.

You know what I mean?

Like, yeah.

I feel like it.

That just is a testament to how Love Island is amazing this particular season.

Perhaps.

No, it is.

It would take more to impress me now.

I am going to watch it.

Like, for sure.

You're going to be obsessed.

Curtis and Morris.

Obsessed.

And

speaking of TV, I canceled my cable.

Like, added to the list of things Jackie told me to do a million years years ago.

Jackie canceled, cut her cords.

I thought it was the weirdest thing.

I'm like, girl, everyone has cable.

And she got YouTube TV, cut to literally two days ago because I was watching the U.S.

Open and Spectrum is in like some legal battle with ESPN that I couldn't get ESPN.

So I was like, you know what?

Fuck it.

I called them and I canceled.

And now I have YouTube TV.

And you know what?

My life is no different.

It's not better.

It's not worse.

It's no different, which is good.

And it's savings.

Oh, and now I'm saving like a couple hundred dollars a month.

I was paying so much for cable.

I already added to the list.

Don't worry.

Yeah, so it's downtin reading, cable.

Do you you want the

official exercised?

We haven't updated it.

You have to add cable, and I think you have to add like exercising.

Oh, totally.

What is which is so sad?

I know.

Hold on.

Okay.

Downton reading.

Reading on a Kindle.

The phrase, how you dern.

You hated it when I used to say it.

So true.

The show succession.

Yeah.

Pickleball.

Yellowstone.

Yellowstone.

Pickleball.

100%.

I'm upset.

Cord cutting.

And what did you just say?

Exercise.

Yeah.

And you know what?

Like, will be on the list.

Like, in due time.

I mean, I could tell you everything, but sure.

But guess what I'm guessing?

Love Island.

No.

No, because I agree with you.

I'm not stubborn against you.

Okay, I agree.

But this is things I was stubborn against, but obviously was wrong about.

I don't know.

Motherhood.

Oh, that's what I was thinking, but I was like, that's, you know.

It's a little presumptuous for you to say.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No.

Oh, speaking of, you know, today's a new beginning, beginning of a new dawn at the toast.

So it's only appropriate that I woke up with my period.

You know what's so funny is that for the girl, me, who like hates talking about periods on the podcast.

Sir Clage.

We did literally a whole episode with an OBGA.

And I think like

period, menstrual hormones, like birth control, it was all.

But I guess I just like I'm okay with talking about periods if we had an episode dedicated to periods with an expert.

That's totally fine.

You know what, you know what my issue with talking about periods is.

Yeah.

Like when people like just like use it as a blanket excuse for everything.

No, I'm not using it as an excuse.

I'm just want to update that

it truly is like the dawn of a new age here.

Yeah, a new egg dropped.

Right.

Like if it's how symbolic that today of all days, seriously.

It's like a rebirth.

Yeah.

It's kind of beautiful.

Well, when you put it like that, I think we do.

It was, it was important for me to

know.

Honestly, this is a battle I have lost.

I'm not going to die on this hill that we can't talk about, period.

Even though that wasn't my initial thesis.

What's so?

Even though that wasn't my initial thesis, but it's what I'm talking about.

Which means you said, which I actually, when you said it, I agreed with.

It's like people on the internet don't need to announce that they're on their periods.

Like, it's just unnecessary.

Like, I agreed with it.

But ever since you said that, I don't think a month has passed where I haven't acknowledged my period publicly.

It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Yeah.

That happens to me too.

I do sometimes.

Had you never said it?

I never would have brought it up.

It happens to me too sometimes where I'm like against something, but then I find myself doing it.

Oops, see this.

100%.

It's this leg.

This leg.

My left leg won't move.

Like when I get into the car, I gotta, I gotta like hoist my leg.

Wow.

But it really feels like I pulled a muscle.

That's what it.

You did.

Like you literally were contracting your whole body to push out a 10-pound baby.

Like, it's not that crazy that your leg's a little sore.

You know?

Yeah.

It's just not what you would expect.

It's not the pain that you would expect when you think of birthing pains a hundred

you know a lingering pain as well as back pain which is just lovely but i do have like uh ultra strength ibuprofen

and your poise pads and my poise pads which i love if you guys aren't patrons which unfortunately a lot of you aren't It's literally disgusting.

No, I'm kidding.

You would have heard

how the poise pad.

What?

No, no, no, nothing of that.

You would have heard how I really did use my poise pad when my water broke, and I only needed to use one.

It absorbed right up.

It absorbs right up.

Also, not an ad, but just letting you know, like, we are so authentic.

Like, all of our sponsors are coming through at different stages of our lives.

In different stages of this episode, you want to know my outfit?

Head to toe, Lululemon.

Oh, I just got ankle.

Actually, head to ankle.

Shoes are Prada.

Of course they are.

Oh, speaking of shoes, if you're watching this video today, I don't want to.

Trigger warning, trigger warning.

Look what shoes I'm wearing.

I just got those two in that color.

Original toasters will remember the kind of raggedy white pair of loafers that Jackie wore day in and day out at our old studio for approximately two years.

And people started to say stuff.

Like they really started to come for the shoes.

And you know what?

I was one of those people.

Edit to the list.

Then

the mirror went flat.

Because I'm like Jackie.

First of all, like those shoes, like throw them away.

Everyone called them my granny shoes.

And like they were a little old lady, but it was more so like the condition that they were in, you know, like you wore them every day.

They were like white.

They had gotten a little sad.

But cut two, you know, they were on sale.

Jackie sent me a link and I actually bought them.

Literally, I've never had a pair of shoes that makes my legs look longer and skinnier.

And I stand by that.

So you know what?

Once again, we were wrong and Jackie was right.

Yeah.

Also, it was when you came down to Florida and raided my closet that you wore a pair of them on.

And you loved how you looked.

You were going to like the way you look.

You guaranteed it.

I did.

And so much so that she bought the shoe.

And I bought that color too, the beige ones that you're wearing.

So now I have three.

It's a gorgeous fall fall footwear.

Gorgeous fall footwear.

But it's also because like Granny is in style right now.

Granny is in.

You were just a little ahead of your time.

Yeah, which is fine.

Like Shakespeare, you weren't even appreciative.

Shakespeare wasn't even appreciated in your own time.

And you're certainly not.

Oh my God, certainly not.

Certainly.

Certainly.

You guys don't even know.

You guys don't even know.

No, I do feel very appreciated.

I've gotten a lot of outreach and love.

Yeah.

Just over the last few weeks.

You guys are the best.

And I am so happy to be back

doing the show so moving forward let's do like a little housekeeping obviously everybody saw the schedule for this week it's posted on our instagram we've got great co-hosts you will be checking in with us minimum once a week minimum once a week for this uh next month

so like see how it goes you know if you want to come back twice a week like we would absolutely love to have you but no pressure of course yeah so far so good um not to like jinx anything but i think for september expect me once a week October, like more than that.

I'm also should be coming to New York in October.

So that would be like a five-day.

Oh my God.

By the way, book launch is coming soon.

Book launch.

I wanted to mention the book because I felt like I haven't mentioned it in a while.

I was a little quiet on the home front.

But my children's book is coming out October 10th, almost a month away.

It's called The Camper and the Counselor.

And it is so amazing and wonderful.

And I actually haven't given this update

because people are going to think I'm lying, but I'm not.

It is literally Harry's favorite book.

We read it every night before bed.

He has it memorized.

He has, like, he finishes every single stanza.

Whenever I finish more,

we do it again and again and again.

Miss Rachel.

Yeah, the Miss Rachel more.

And I keep reading until like I have to be like, okay, no, Harry, it's time for bed.

He calls it counselor.

Like when he wants to read the book, he's like, counselor.

I'm like.

Counselor.

Like, and I'm really not lying.

It is his favorite book of all of the books.

Jackie.

And when you put him down, when you put him down for bed, does he say, mommy, the Windy Camp Rose

and Chills?

He does sometimes.

No, that part's a lie.

See, I'm not going to lie.

He doesn't doesn't say it.

Okay, don't lie.

But he loves it so much.

And I really didn't like push it on him.

Like, you better like mommy's book.

It was just like always around the apartment.

No, but he better like mommy's book.

Right.

And I read it to him like a few times, like, just to test out the product.

And he absolutely loves it.

Like, it's, it's an amazing book.

And it's, it's mom tested and Harry approved.

And that's because like children's books that rhyme are far superior, even though the industry says otherwise.

Yeah.

And it's full of colors.

There are so many like little things that he's like, bird, brush, because there's like a hairbrush.

They are drinking tea.

He loves tea.

So he said, tea.

He loves tea.

Yeah, he loves tea.

And it really is his favorite book.

And it's just really great for kids.

Like, it's, you should get it is what I'm saying.

So head over, check Amazon, link in my bio, Google, wherever you buy books.

You know, you know where to, you know, where to find me.

You know.

And you can still get a signed copy via Talk Shop Live.

So

if you want to do that, go and do that before that's no longer an option.

Let me ask you a question.

Do you think it's time?

So I've been thinking about that.

Like on the one hand,

on the one hand, it is time.

And if the stories weren't so interesting,

I would continue to wax poetic about how much Harry loves his mommy's work.

But

given that people want to hear about our takes on these stories, it's time.

But otherwise, it wouldn't have been time.

Cause like we could have recapped the last month for an hour and a half i know but i feel like we have like a job to do here today we do

we do and i think i didn't like get dressed and haka for nothing right right right so without further ado it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know

And today's episode is brought to you by a brand new sponsor that I'm very excited about because this was a product and a brand in my daily skincare routine, CeraVee.

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Today's episode is also brought to you by the farmer's dog.

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you're welcome okay our first story I personally think it's the biggest story of the last few days and the most surprising Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner are headed for divorce TMZ reported on Sunday sources with direct knowledge told TMZ that Joe had his people contact and consult with at least two LA area divorce lawyers and he's on the cusp of filing for divorce to end his marriage to Sophie.

TMZ sources say the couple has had serious problems for at least six months.

They're told over the last three months Joe has been caring for their two young children pretty much all of the time, even as his band was touring.

They're told Joe currently has the kids as the group is playing shows around the U.S.

On the surface though, it seemed there are no signs of trouble.

They have attended events together.

However, in recent weeks, Joe was seen not wearing his ring.

But last night, there was a Jonas Brothers concert or two nights ago, and Sophie was in attendance.

Joe was wearing his ring.

He also posted to Instagram yesterday a picture of him where his ring is like front and center.

Yeah.

But like then TMZ, clearly, you know, they're trying to say something.

TMZ updated their story with a shot of him from a few weeks ago not wearing a ring to go get coffee, which like means nothing.

Means nothing.

But TMZ is maintaining that they are headed for divorce.

So let's just talk about the initial shock of this news.

Like when I saw this, I was genuinely shook.

This is a couple, like to me, that is just set.

And I don't think about them.

They don't like, you know, have drama or anything.

I just don't even think about their, their viability as a couple because to me, they're just like married, you know?

Like they're...

They're not, they're not in the tabloids.

They're not salacious at all.

And I feel like they're really well matched for each other, personality-wise, fame-wise.

I feel like they're really happy.

They just had their second kid.

So this was extremely shocking news.

And part of me just like couldn't believe it.

And then, you know, her being at the show and him wearing his ring and posting on Instagram kind of

pointedly

made me think it's not true.

Like I don't know what to believe now.

I usually am the first to stay in denial.

And when I first saw this news, like I was genuinely shocked.

But then I kind of came around to the idea.

You know, they're both like very young.

When you are like, I could imagine,

I came around to it.

it I was like oh okay I guess they're not gonna work out that's really sad now they're not denying the rumors but they are kind of trying to throw people off the scent so I feel like they just want to buy more time for themselves but I don't feel like it's them saying no we're together because they would have put out a statement or something right and I guess like if they are separated her being at the show is like not that crazy if the girls are do they have two daughters yeah if their kids are on tour with him right you know she wants to spend time with the kids and they want to go to to the show.

Like, it's not the craziest thing, especially if it's like decently amicable.

Right.

And so I feel like them

doing the stuff that they did in the last few days of rings and shows and whatnot is just them trying to like maintain a bit of privacy by throwing people off the scent,

not necessarily rebuking the fact that they're having marital troubles.

The TMZ article was extremely shady towards Sophie,

basically saying, you know, she hasn't been with the kids at all, even though Joe's on tour, the kids are with Joe.

She hasn't worked much since Game of Thrones.

like it was very shady and it made me think like where the information comes from like if that's coming from joe's camp like

that's really like

could be a sign of trouble yeah but i don't think it's coming from joe's camp like with joe's knowledge like i don't think that like maybe there's some like rogue team member who knows stuff who like went to tmz but i don't think Joe would be actively trying to like put this narrative out there, especially if he's also like working with Sophie to make sure things look like they're okay.

Right, right.

Like they're a team still.

Right.

Like maybe like one of the lawyers that he met with, well, that's like actually illegal.

I don't know.

But you know, maybe somebody heard a whisper and they're like, oh, Joe met with two lawyers and Sophie's not with the kids and blah, blah, blah.

Yeah.

This is, this is just really shocking to me, honestly.

Like, if you would have asked me which of like the Joe Bros would get divorced, honestly, I never would have said Kevin and Danielle.

I never would have said Joe and

Sophie.

And honestly, like these days, I don't think I would have said Nick and Priyanka.

Like I think when they first.

most people would have said Nick and Priyanka, because people love to doubt them, and they love to prove people wrong.

No, it's so true, but they're also like the most, in my opinion, like private

about their relationship.

Joe and Sophie are actually pretty private too.

Now they are.

I think in the beginning they weren't.

Nobody even knew Sophie was pregnant the second time.

Yeah, yeah.

Until she like posted, I think in a carousel, not even the first picture.

Yeah.

A picture of her like giving birth.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I don't know who I would have said got, got divorced first, but to me, I just thought that these two were really solid.

So this is just shocking news.

It is.

I do want to hold out hope that TMC doesn't know what they're talking about, but they not only like put out that first article, they're doubling down.

They're not like being thrown.

TM is right.

TMZ is always right.

I think this is a situation like where there's smoke, there's fire for sure, but I don't.

I think it's still in flux.

You know, maybe they're trying to work things out.

Maybe they are separating.

Maybe one of them is having a hard time and needs some personal time.

Yeah.

You know?

I don't know, man.

This is really just shock, like actual shocking news.

It takes a lot to shock me.

It takes a lot to shock me, too.

It's shocking and it's sad.

It is sad, especially because they just had a baby.

And it's not to make it about us, but we've always cited them as an example of a couple that could be extremely busy and still make it work.

So your scheduling conflict, excuse for breaking up as a celebrity couple, like, has no merit.

No, but we look at Joe and Sophie.

We've We've also used them as an example of like how amazing it was that Joe Jonas was able to actually

date on his level after Gigi Hadid.

But it's still an example of that.

Yes, it is.

It is.

It is.

It is.

It's just sad that it wasn't a happy ending.

But I guess it's still an example of busy schedules being able to thrive in relationships because when the Jonas brothers were making their comeback, it was the final season of Game of Thrones.

Like you couldn't find

busier or more successful people.

Actually, I feel like right now their schedules are less busy.

Yeah.

So it has nothing to do with schedules.

Yeah.

Now people are obviously like pulling footage from the last couple of weeks of shows.

Joe had cried during one song and like it kind of was out of character for him to cry.

He's like not the emotional one.

He's kind of like goofy.

Yeah.

But like I cry sometimes.

You do.

Like

even heroes cry.

You know, there's a million reasons to cry.

Yeah.

Sometimes a song just like really comes over you and like it's like not even your favorite song or not even the best song, but you just get like kind of like taken by the song.

No, it's so true, and you're like on the huge stage with your brothers performing these emotions.

Yeah, it's about how can you not cry?

So true.

What song was it?

Uh, Little Bird or something.

I don't even know it.

I wonder what, like, what it's about.

I imagine it goes a little something like this:

Little bird, oh, you're so little,

and you're a bird, so fly away.

Okay, it's about like a daughter.

Oh, okay.

Well, that'll make you cry.

Listen to the lyrics.

I'll try and read them without crying.

Okay.

You came in the world, my baby girl, beautiful angel.

Oh, I could cry.

Got your mother's kind eyes.

Trying to stop time.

No, I could never ask for more.

Darling, there's a train coming in your life that you got to catch, but that's not right now.

Oh my God, this song is literally designed to make you cry.

Okay, I'm sorry I made fun of it.

I really am.

No, no, not even that.

He's not crying about Sophie.

No, yeah, it's fatherhood.

It's emotional.

Kids growing up.

Time is fleeting.

Yeah.

Small hands wrapped around my finger, wrapped around my finger.

And we dance, try to let it linger, try to let it linger.

Because I know if I'm doing my job correct, nights like these will happen less.

Oh, my God.

Oh my God, I have chills.

I have chills.

I can't.

So please just keep me in your heart when you fly into somebody else's arms, little bird.

Oh, that's really sweet.

Not me being like such a bitch, making fun of it.

No, I didn't.

I didn't know.

I didn't know.

You weren't making fun of it.

Little bird fly.

And now I need to listen to the song and try not to cry.

Number one favorite song.

Number one favorite song.

Title Jason.

Play My Music all night long.

To me, that's the best Jonas Brothers song.

Oh, really?

Yeah, play my music, literally from Camp Rock, in my humble opinion, is the best Jonas Brothers song.

My humble opinion states that the best Jonas Brothers song is Fly With Me.

That's also a really good one.

You know what?

Low-key, they have like so many bangers.

Used to pray for a moment, just like this.

Love the fire.

I can't resist.

Baby, we're going to want to remember this.

Baby, we're going to want to remember this.

So good.

So good.

Like, they kind of are like amazing.

Yeah.

So we'll keep you posted posted on Joe and Sophie Ovs.

Jofie, it's really, it's upsetting.

It is upsetting.

And I hope that whatever comes that they're able to

coexist, work through

for the kids.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

I am.

Another shocking split.

What?

Summer house stars, Carl.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

Lindsay Hubbard called off their engagement this weekend.

Entertainment Tonight had the exclusive that they caught off their engagement and it was all caught on camera.

Sources told E.T.

that Carl and Lindsay have called off their engagement.

The two were set to get married in November, but Carl told Lindsay he couldn't move forward with the wedding.

The breakup was filmed and will most likely play out on the next season of Summer House.

Just two weeks ago, she had her bridal shower in the city.

Several of her co-stars were in attendance.

And now this.

No, this is shocking.

They were literally getting married in November.

Like, this is a close call.

I'm shocked, and I'm a a little annoyed because I really took their side last season and now I look stupid.

That's exactly how I feel.

I look forward to finding out what happened because I feel like maybe

it could still vindicate us, you know?

Like,

I can't explain it.

But I still, even though they didn't work out as a couple, like I still stand firm that Danielle's reaction to their engagement was insane.

The craziest thing I've ever witnessed.

Even now looking at through the prism of two people who aren't meant to be, aren't getting married.

Like, that's just not how you react when your best friend gets engaged.

No, I stand by everything.

Like, I believed in their love and I'm not going to apologize for believing in love ever.

First of all, I also just like believed in the way that they were treating their relationship as an adult relationship and taking themselves very seriously.

Like, completely agree.

I stand by what I said.

I honestly don't even know the two of them well enough.

I don't think I ever said these two are meant to be.

Like, I just, I like the way that they were living in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And like acting like adults.

Unless they say something like, we were too serious, too fast.

Yeah, unless they say they move too fast.

Even though I don't think the timeline was that crazy.

No, me neither.

Not in

not compared to like lay people, you know.

Yeah, no, and keep in mind, these are two people who have known each other for like over 10 years.

Right.

I don't think it's so crazy either.

But this news was shocking.

Right.

And apparently it's a shock to Lindsay as well.

It's not like.

They came to this decision.

I think he blindsided her.

He did it on camera.

So we shall see in a few months, whatever this moment was.

That's crazy.

Because one thing I actually respected about the relationship is that they kept things to themselves, like especially off camera.

Like they didn't air dirty laundry.

Like they,

you know, presented a united front, which I think is really good for a relationship.

So to just be blindsided on camera, that's like kind of like out of character of Carl in terms of their relationship.

I feel like he was always like protecting Lindsay.

And that's one thing I actually really respected about their relationship.

So this is crazy, but it does lend an opportunity for like this redemption of Lindsay.

Like all the girls, like she's going to become like a victim energy now.

And I think the audience will feel for her.

I do think this could kind of be like a redemptive moment.

I don't think she needs to be redeemed.

No, I don't either, but we were in the minority.

I know, but that just frustrates me.

And also,

I don't know.

We'll have to see what happened because if I were Lindsay and all these people didn't support my relationship, like I'm also not running over to you in my time of need.

Yeah, yeah, but there's limited people.

You know, she's in despair she's stuck in this house with people like she needs a shoulder to cry on yeah well she's friends with that girl sammy samantha and i also do think her and danielle are on the mend yeah i saw danielle said something about the breakup but i didn't click that she did because somebody had cited uh the scene in sex in the city movie one where big

uh leaves her at the altar and the charlotte hugs carrie while they're like in the limo fighting and she's like no no

and danielle commented like i am charlotte

Yeah, it was cringe, but I assume that means they're on a good page.

I don't know.

Okay.

Well, I'm sad about it, honestly.

This was another thing that genuinely shocked me and also made me a little annoyed.

Yeah, me too.

Like, my God, the one time I like stand for something, of course they break up.

Yeah, not cool.

Not a cool ask.

Are you ready for our next story?

I don't know.

Am I?

No, you don't look ready if we're being honest.

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Okay, our next story.

Travis Barker's family emergency has been revealed.

Pregnant Courtney Kardashian was briefly hospitalized.

So Travis Barker had to abruptly fly home from Blink 182's tour after his pregnant wife, Courtney Kardashian, was hospitalized, according to a new report.

The Reality Star had a brief stay in the hospital, is now back home with her kids.

She's feeling better.

People magazine Insider added, she's happy to have Travis back home too.

So Travis is on tour.

The band put up an announcement that Travis had to go home for a family emergency.

We all know Courtney is pregnant and she had a brief stay in an LA area hospital and she checked out of the hospital on Saturday.

Weirdly, there's paparazzi photos of her leaving the hospital.

So rude.

So rude.

I feel like for him to have canceled like so many big shows, it had to have been like a serious thing.

And to be in the hospital is obviously so scary, but like pregnant pregnant is even scarier.

So honestly, I'm not going to be a snoop.

I would love to know what's going on, but like I'm genuinely wishing her the best, like for all.

Genuinely wishing her the best.

I'm glad that she was able to leave.

I hope everything's okay.

I understand big or small when your pregnant wife is in the hospital, like you leave your show.

And I feel like maybe not every single artist would do that.

They would wait to see like what's going to be how it lands.

But like the way that Courtney and Travis are, you know, that they want to be by each other's side through everything.

Like

it makes sense that he dipped and is going to be with her.

Yeah, I feel like one of my biggest takeaways from the most recent season of the Kardashians is like Travis is like everything.

He's such a good husband.

He's such a good dad.

He's such a good stepdad.

He's such a good, I think he's also like a,

I don't even know what the relationship is.

Guardian.

Shanna Mochler, the oldest daughter, Atiana, is not, Travis is biological kid, but you would never know that.

Like he treats him, he treats her, you know, like loves her, lives with her.

It's like,

the more I learn about Travis, like the more I'm obsessed.

Yeah, he's really just a family man.

And it just doesn't look like he's a fan.

Yeah, you would just never guess it because he looks so hardcore.

Right.

But he's like deeply emotional and, you know, he's been through a lot and he didn't fly for all those years.

Like he's kind of this like onion.

Onion.

Right.

Well, now this onion is with his wife.

And the kids, because I saw Penelope went with Auntie Coco and Auntie Kim and Lovey to the Beyonce concert last night.

So obviously like the whole family's pitching in, you know, know, making sure the kids, sure, Courtney's recovering.

I'm sure all the kids are at grandma's.

It's nice.

It's nice, but I also could have seen Penelope going with North and Kim to the concert, even without this.

Like, that's very much like what they do.

North and P are best friends.

So,

I'm, I'm glad everyone's having a good time, which actually leads to our next story, our next Kardashian story, which is Kylie Jenner and Timothy Chalamet cozying up at Beyoncé's Renaissance Tour in their first public outing together.

So, Beyonce's tour made its way to LA.

A lot of celebs in attendance, a lot of headlines, but the biggest one is Kylie and Timothy together, kissing, loving each other, having a great time.

So this is, in my opinion, like the first real photo we have of them.

The other one was like them smoking cigarettes outside in someone's backyard and they weren't even touching.

Like to me, those could have been two, two, any, any two people.

Yes, but it did give credence to what to me sounded like an unfathomable rumor that the two of them were dating.

Like I would have never guessed it.

So just the fact that it was her and Kendall and Timothy and Kimber,

like it meant something.

Yeah, no, it was, it was further confirmation, but to me, like this is so next level.

Like the kissing photos, holding each other.

And I think before I saw these photos, like I would have said, this is a weird couple.

I'm like, I'm not into it.

I genuinely do not understand the Timothy Chalamet hype.

Like how he gets the most beautiful women in the world is like one of the great mysteries to me.

And I'll just never understand it.

Having seen these photos, I don't still fully understand it, but like I'm definitely on board for this relationship.

They looked really happy.

They're the same height.

It was cute.

Yeah, I think what makes the relationship cute after seeing these photos is seeing the height that I would have expected that he would be like really small.

Yeah, I mean, I knew that he's small.

That is part of like my hypothesis as to why I don't understand the height.

No, but like.

Together, Kylie's tall-ish.

For a girl.

Like, I weigh more than Timothy Chalamet.

Yeah.

No,

they look really cute together.

And they do.

She looked really beautiful and really happy.

Yeah, really beautiful and really happy.

You know what?

These are photos.

Like, we've never gotten of Kylie.

She wasn't doing this with Tyga.

She wasn't doing this with Travis Scott.

Like, they were so much more private.

And this is just, like, so unserious from Kylie, who's like always does everything like, you know, very seriously.

I enjoy this fresh energy.

I think she's just living life, you know?

Yeah.

She's so young.

That's the thing.

Like, I was kind of, I see her as this like serious old woman because she had kids so young and she has this like billion dollar business and she's just accomplished so much.

She's accomplished just as much as like her mom, you know?

Yeah, but she's literally 24,

right?

26, maybe.

Whatever.

She's so young.

And this is what a 26-year-old should be doing.

Like popping your pussy at Beyonce with your new man.

Yeah, but they've been now together for a while.

So I think it's also her being pretty.

settled and content in her relationship enough to be like, you know what, let's take this thing for a spin.

Yeah.

I mean, all the K's were at Beyonce.

Like Chris Jenner was blackout.

Like I lived for it.

Did you see that Beyonce had asked everyone to wear silver in the audience and like pretty much everyone did?

That's pretty cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Are you also familiar with the mute challenge?

Yes.

I wasn't sure since it's like all over my TikTok.

I don't know if it made it to reels.

I didn't get to know that.

It didn't make it to reels.

I didn't know that we were adding challenge to the second half of it.

Oh, I think we are.

I think it's just like Beyonce said mute.

So you shut up.

Look around, everybody, all mute.

I will never scroll past one of those videos.

Like I find it so interesting.

And she could really, and only two times, I think, has it been like complete without some asshole being like, Beyonce, like, whoa.

In LA, last night, the, the show last night, they did it like really well.

And then the, the, the show that everyone like talked about forever was like night two in Atlanta or whatever.

It was like you could hear a pin drop.

It's actually like the sickest thing.

And I think it's really smart.

It's like a good way to, because every time people go to the concert, like, of course, you film at a concert, but everyone is filming the mute moment.

So it's just a good way to keep your tour in the news, you know?

It's actually very smart.

Yeah.

I think that's also like with this dress code thing.

I wonder what it's for.

Maybe it's for

a recording of the concert.

I don't know.

Beyonce's just like a very visual person.

Yeah.

Maybe she wanted to see something beautiful and she's like, hoes, get dressed.

Like we're going out.

It's my birthday.

Yes.

Don't look, don't look like a slob.

Speaking of concert tours, not a story, but Taylor and

not admitted.

Pee Pee Bray

announced that she is, her tour is a movie October 13th, three days after Campernon Counselor.

You'll be able to watch at AMC Theaters.

Yeah, she's not doing like a streamer.

You know, she's kind of going back in time, reviving the movie industry.

And I read somewhere, so the production cost, she, of course, paid for it herself, was between $10 and $20 million.

And they far surpassed that in pre-sale tickets for the AMC theaters.

I think it was at like $26 million, which is that of like a Marvel movie.

That's like what Marvel movies make in pre-sale.

Wow.

Yeah.

And she did all of this without, because obviously there's a strike, but also I don't think she needs a movie studio to produce it for her.

She has her own production company.

But in the midst of the strike, which is still ongoing after maternity leave.

But you said like after Labor Day, things might clear up.

So now we're on strike alert.

Yeah, but this is a SAG sanctioned project because it's not SAG.

Got it.

So she's not working with the studio.

It's strike compliant.

Yeah, she got approved, you know?

Got it.

Well, I'm kind of struggling because as someone who hasn't seen the Errors tour yet, and I do plan to see it next year when she comes to Miami, I don't really want to see it

in the movie before I see the tour.

So, I don't think I'm going to.

No, you shouldn't.

I did get tickets for Friday night, the night it comes out, and I also got for Saturday at noon.

Everyone was buying Friday night, and then like it was loading so slow.

I'm like, Let me just check Saturday completely empty.

I got like the best seats in the house.

So, I have some shitty seats Friday night that honestly, I just might give to someone, and I'll wait the 12 hours.

I'm like, You're nuts.

Yeah, no, I agree.

Just sleep in, take a meat.

No, and Take a melatonin.

It's a 10 p.m.

showing.

Like, I'm not in the mood.

Take a melatonin at 10.

Rise around 11.

Head to the movies.

Yeah.

Stay off your phone.

Yeah, I think that's what I'm going to do.

But like, what's going to be that you didn't already see?

No, nothing.

I just want to, like, be a part of something.

Is that okay?

No, no, no.

I'm not asking why are you seeing it.

I'm asking what.

Why do I have to see it Friday night?

Yeah.

Like, what are people going to post on TikTok in those 12 hours that...

you didn't already see?

Nothing.

I just like want to support my girl, you know, and be, be up, be, be the first one.

Like I'm annoying like that.

Okay.

Cool.

I'm doing it for attention.

Is that what you wanted me to say?

Okay.

I'm doing it for attention.

No, I honestly didn't think that.

I thought that maybe we could break down some of these preconceived notions that you have and make you more comfortable with the idea of just going Saturday at noon.

But I literally said like I am going Saturday at noon and I'll probably give up my I said I'll probably give up my seats Friday night.

I should I agree with you.

It's stupid.

I'm feeling like it was a consolation and I'm just like whatever.

No, I know.

I don't think I said that.

I don't recall saying the word consolation.

No, because you wanted Friday night.

No, I don't recall.

I just feel like this whole situation has kind of been like thrown in my face when I was just being honest and vulnerable.

You're such a victim.

You're so strong.

I am.

Searching for victimhood, the Claudiatre story.

You're so brave.

Yeah, I know.

Like, I'm literally amazing and courageous and vulnerable all at the same time.

Yeah.

Thank you.

So we'll see what I end up doing with my ticket.

She'll be there Friday night.

Literally.

So I don't think I'm going to see it.

Just to bring it back to me.

I think that's the right call.

And you can, by the way, like, you'll get the DVD.

It'll be on demand.

Like, actually, I also read.

It's going to be on a streamer in 13 weeks.

She's allowed to.

So after 13 weeks of it being in theaters, like

what's the word?

Exclusively with AMC theaters, she is then allowed to take it to market again to see if, you know, there's any bids.

I guess the bids the first time weren't big enough.

Damn.

And her power knows no bounds.

Like wherever she puts it, people will go.

So it's like, why should I give all my power and my influence to a Disney?

Like, I want $100 million.

And I'm sure they weren't willing to give that in these dark economic times.

Thanks, Joe Biden.

And now we're all having to go to the theater.

So I'm okay with it.

Yeah.

Well, again, you're very brave.

I know.

I'll be getting political.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Oh, no, I'm not.

Ooh.

Crazy.

That was close.

Close to the story.

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Our fifth and final story really is brought to you by Liquid IV because Burning Man took place

this weekend and it was kind of crazy.

A nightmare.

Flooded, caused driving ban and just total chaos at Burning Man.

The driving ban at Burning Man was lifted on Monday, allowing the estimated 64,000 people remaining at the festival to escape the grounds and that were transformed into a muddy quagmire by torrential downpours.

So they're calling it exodus operations that were officially underway in Black Rock Desert in Nevada, thanks to drier ground, festival organizers said in an update.

So the festival grounds were completely flooded.

I didn't know.

Obviously, Burning Man takes place in the desert, but I think like this piece of land at one point like many, many years ago was a lake and it like dried out.

So the sand is like different.

So it raining, like it literally became like quicksand.

People's cars were like literally being swallowed by the earth.

So you're saying it's not like other sand.

That's exactly what I was trying to say.

Thank you.

Got it.

So I saw like photos.

I think we also like pictures and videos of just like this muddy mess.

People were told to like shelter in place.

They couldn't leave.

Right.

And when we think of shelter in place, like we're at our homes.

The whole point of Burning Man is like it's this non-capitalist, non-conformist society where like money isn't real.

So it's like people in campers with limited food, limited toilets, limited water, very limited resources.

So it's, it's kind of, it's a nightmare.

Yeah, it's a nightmare.

But also one of the like foundational

principles, principles of Burning Mean like I think some people were like, this is where, you know, it's very about like self-reliance and community.

So I think some people were like leaning in.

Leaning in.

Other people were like, get me the fuck out of here.

Yeah.

So

if you started to drive away in your car, like your car would literally like end up half stuck in the mud, like up to your neck.

I saw like Diplo and Chris Rock walked for six miles until they found someone with a truck who gave them a ride.

Just looks like a complete and total nightmare and the the um toilets were out of commission no wait and it's actually really sad two people died yes but it's unclear if they died not due to like the weather some like for other causes but then the weather stopped the emergency vehicles from being able to get to them do you know what i mean yeah but yeah it's it's sad and crazy and scary and i feel like people love to shit on burning man because it's like a little silly it's easy to shit on um But this was just a really crazy plot twist.

No, and whenever I feel like there's like a major like disaster or catastrophe, I think like a very natural human response is to be like, oh my God, like that could have been me.

Like whenever something happens, like whether it's like an earthquake or whatever, you always think like that, I could have been in that place.

And honestly, knowing that I would, this would never happen to me.

I would never be at Burning Man.

I didn't think you would be confused.

with someone who would be.

Yeah, like I was never going to go and it's, this changes nothing.

Like, I was never going to be there.

Yeah.

I'm the opposite of Burning Man, even though Catch Me in Five Years being like, Jackie, we have to go to Burning Man.

Literally.

No, I would literally never.

Like, where I draw the line is, like, no running water, no Wi-Fi, no money.

Like, you can't, like, buy stuff.

It's like trade.

Harder.

Yeah, like, I'm sorry.

I love like this world, you know?

You don't want to escape just for a few days?

No, if I do, like, I'll take a trip.

But you know who goes to Burning Man?

Who?

Elon.

You know who does go to Burning Man who's kind of like a darling of Burning Man is Paris Hilton, which for me is like so incongruous.

Like she's so fabulous.

I feel like she's also like a capitalist queen.

No, she's like also a materialistic

girl.

She closed houses.

Like to me, that makes no sense.

And I know she has like that whole DJ side of her, but like to me, I get confused by that.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I feel like some people like just come in and out for the afternoon.

You know?

Yeah.

I don't really see her in a camper, but what do I know?

But I just, I don't see it.

Do you think like you should promote the camper and the counselor at Burning Man in a camper?

100%.

The camper and the counselor greater than the camper at Burning Man.

I don't think that was ever up for debate.

No, I think some people would say, like, no, Burning Man over this Chiltern.

Those people know nothing.

I did end up on like a Burning Man side of TikTok.

And it was, it was nice to see people, you know, in times of stress, people being like, I'm located at this lot or whatever.

We're cooking food.

If you need food, come.

Like, it was, it was nice.

It was nice, you know, human nature.

Yeah.

Beautiful.

No, I, and I think those are the, the principles of the festival.

So people are practicing what they preach.

But in times of like dire catastrophe, like it could be Lord of the Plot.

Every man for himself.

Right.

And you always say, like,

You like to think if I got stranded on an island with like 10 people I know like we'd never turn on each other, but you never know.

Well, it was also,

I I think in the beginning, everyone is like, we're in this together.

And it lasted about three, four days.

It, you know, I think it's over.

It's like the movie we watched.

I think Triangle of Sadness.

Oh, my God.

Don't even, don't even bring that filth to our show.

It was a terrible movie.

It was literal filth.

Filth, like duty everywhere.

But I feel like, you know,

if these conditions had lasted longer, that's when people start to turn.

The beginning is

always like, kumbayao, let's, you know, make a fire.

We're united.

It's worth mentioning, most people who go to Burning Man are on drugs.

Oh, yeah.

So that adds like a more, like, it's, it's more, um,

what's the word I'm looking for?

Like, when you're, like, you're able to deal with something.

I'm just, like, not going to be able to give you the word you're looking for for a few years.

What is this word?

Okay, hold on.

It's like.

Oh, my God.

It's somethingable.

Like, not dealable, but like, like.

God.

it's like palatable

kind of, but like I don't even remember what I was trying to say.

Move on.

This is a job for thesaurus.com.

Yeah, it's more like I'm gonna try panic.

Tolerable, yes, tolerable.

Tolerable.

Tolerable, like something, you know, a situation like this when you're on drugs.

Yes, but I also think it could make things like more perilous.

Panicked, panic.

Yeah, for you, for sure.

For sure.

Like, I can't even smoke pot.

I'm like always like on edge.

Yeah.

And ever since Bon nuis I just really I don't participate anymore I understand

thank you so those were the fascinated stories I feel as though you needed to know them if you're in the car on the way back from Burning Man I hope you're okay I'm glad you got out you know maybe next year don't do it like I just feel like it's not worth it there aren't really any toasters at Burning Man Toasters ex-Burning Man is not a community like that exists.

Like, if it's a Venn diagram, it's just two circles next to each other.

Yeah.

But like, you know, toasters, ex-stagecoach, huge.

Middle, it's three circles.

It's one circle.

It's one circle.

Yeah.

I agree.

So I don't know if we have any toasters.

Actually, if you were at Burning Man and you made it out and you're listening to this episode, perhaps on your drive home,

sound off in the comments.

How was it?

You okay?

But only when your car is fully stopped in park.

Of course, of course, of course.

Unless someone else is driving.

Right.

Right.

Passenger purchase.

51st.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

Speaking of driving, like, yikes, I have to learn how to drive again.

I know.

I was thinking about that while you were here.

You had just learned.

And I was doing really good.

I was challenging myself to drive every day.

Then I left.

I have to.

Listen, don't worry about it.

No, I'm not figuring out.

No, I'm not.

Like, it's a problem for another day, but it's certainly a problem.

No, it's not a problem.

It's just disheartening.

No.

Even though they really say it's like riding a bike, like you don't forget, but you just really were not

experiencing it.

Yeah.

Like I was still learning.

So that but doesn't tesla self-drive first of all you have to work up to self-driving you have to prove yourself as a good enough driver for them to give you self-driving and also i'm not really interested in self-driving um it's freaky it's a little freaky any like tesla accidents like they are they're uh

are the self-driving ones like i just i don't know how much i would trust it but i mean it can't be worse than me you know

it's true the bar is low now that i think about it what are you gonna have for lunch it is lunchtime right yeah that's a really great question one that i hadn't thought of previously i think i'll have trudy's warm bowl oh

joy

i

i don't know do i make something zach made me a bagel with eggs yesterday that was good i think i'm gonna have brunch

and then lunch love you know i'm still in a breakfast state of mind I'm in a breakfast state of mind

and all

maybe a wrap.

I don't know.

By the way, at a glance, first episode back, how does it feel?

It feels good.

Actually, I think this was a great episode.

We covered so much ground.

I know.

I thought we were really going to have to go on for three hours, but an hour 20 seems to have done it.

I knew we could do it.

And also, I am like, my clock is.

Yeah, no, Cheerley like gave you an hour 20.

Like, let's not be.

ungrateful.

Yeah.

Like now we can do the post-show, upload tings.

I can get them on the boob.

We're good.

Guys, It has been an absolute honor, and it brings me great joy to say this.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So, if you're watching this on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast and where our podcast can be found.

So, it's Spotify, Tunes, Trish, or Public Radio, IRBC, Box, all the places who have listened to podcasts by using Toastless Life Festival.

You've got a beautiful standing, and what goodly talented we are.

Hope you guys have an amazing, truly awesome day.

Just don't forget to soak up each other's awesomeness, you know, drink awesome shooters.

Love ya.

Bye.

Love ya.

Bye.