Bad Gal Mimi: Tuesday, July 18th, 2023

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Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the toast.

Happy Tuesday, a very special Tuesday, because your girlies are back in studio.

Yeah,

back in studio, so exciting to be with my swirly.

Back in each other's arms.

But we've been doing like so good and funny remote.

No, the way I've never been more sure of our talents, like, I feel reinvigorated.

The remote has been just now.

I'm like, worried.

Is the remote magic?

Is the remote magic usurping the studio magic?

No, no.

Never.

The thing is, the magic lies within.

It's so true.

No matter who you are,

where you're from,

what you did, as long as you're to who's tea.

Like, you and I are the magic, no matter the format.

Like, I feel very confident in that.

I do feel confident in such things.

Plus, we have really great stories today.

I mean, the world literally, the second we stopped recording, I'm uploading yesterday's episode, people notification, people notification, people notification.

And then the biggest news of all, the new spritz flavor.

The new spritz flavor dropped today.

When this episode is up, it will be available to shop at spritzsociety.com.

Slash Clausen Pickle.

Now, let's give a little backstory because people were like, wait, I'm I'm having deja vu.

Is this real?

Are you pranking us again?

Two years ago, and I literally told Ben this was going to happen.

Last year.

No, it was two years ago.

Two years.

Yeah, last year.

Two years.

Like, not this past April.

Yeah.

April before.

Oh, I guess.

Okay, then it's like a year and a half.

Two April Fools ago, we did like an April Fool's joke.

Like our new flavor is pickle.

And I'm like, Ben, I'm telling you, I think people are actually going to want that.

And he's like, no, it'll be funny.

I'm like, okay, I know nothing.

Not a businesswoman.

You know, what do I know?

I'm just a slowly housewife.

And of course, we announced it.

People were like, I know this is April Fool's, but like, is it weird that I'm devastated?

You know, pickle, the pickle community is strong.

And either you get it or you don't.

And so that led us on our journey to being like, I think we actually have to do this.

So we actually reached out to a bunch of pickle brands and Clausen was so excited about it.

Clausen is kind of like the most iconic pickle.

Like the jar is so recognizable.

And they were like, let's do it.

Like, let's make a pickle wine.

And we did.

It took a really long time to like get the formula right because it's a very

delicate thing.

It's a, yeah, it's a acquired taste.

you don't like me acquire some taste so we can now officially launch today at noon by the time this episode comes out it'll already be up at spritzsociety.com slash claus and pickles our pickle wine now i know a lot of people saying claudia there's no way that you would drink this and to that i say you know you'll have to wait and see the taste test that we filmed you filmed a taste test you'll have to wait and see you know i'm not gonna spoil it it'll be available on our socials you know you'll just have to wait and see i have not tried this yet obviously why why jackie is there something you want to share with the class?

I'm pregnant.

So 34 weeks today, but I've smelled it

and it smells so good.

I love pickles.

Oh, and a fun fact about me, up until this moment, I'd never had a pickle.

Did you do a TikTok?

Yeah, of course.

Of having the pickle?

No, no, having the pickle spritz.

Oh, for sure, but you also need to have a pickle for me.

Maybe I'll add that to my list.

Have a Clausen.

And I mean, it doesn't get better than Claussen.

No, it doesn't.

And it helps that it kind of sounds like Claudia.

I knew that this partnership was speaking to me for a specific reason, but I couldn't figure out why.

So it's spritzsociety.com/slash claus and pickle.

It's only available online.

It is super limited.

So, like, pickle girlies get in line.

Yeah.

So, that's kind of what's making today like big

headline news.

What else is making today headline news?

Jackson Claude Back in the studio.

Jackson Claude Back in the studio.

It's a pleasure to be here.

So, so great that you're here.

I know it takes a lot for you to get here.

We really appreciate it.

Yeah, no, but it's good.

I feel my best in the mornings.

I just deteriorate throughout the day.

By the evening, like, I cannot cannot move.

It's so crazy.

I can't even sit on the couch comfortably.

I could barely lay in bed comfortably.

That's just horrible.

It's horrible.

And then sleep is restorative.

In the morning, it's like...

Is it good sleep?

It's been good sleep.

Last night wasn't great because Harry woke up and slept with us, which was amazing.

Oh, my God.

You know, Harry, not to make everything about me.

Harry slept with me one time.

He did?

In the night?

Oh, he took a nap on you once.

And it wasn't even a scheduled nap.

He just felt so safe and comfortable in the arms of his auntie.

He just passed out.

You also like had him watching a movie and and

do not diminish the nap heard around the world.

Like that is something I will not stand for.

Okay, I won't.

I'm going to ask you something crazy.

Have a sip of your water.

Sure.

Let me take one sip first.

And then you'll never sip it again?

No, no, no, just in case I didn't.

No, I'll do a waterfall.

Okay, but that just made me thirsty.

Oh, okay.

Oh, speaking of thirsty, and this is like not a dig towards anyone.

I don't know if you saw it.

Did you see that Bethany and Jill released a podcast episode together?

I saw that they were going to.

It came out last night.

I listened to like a little bit of it this morning just to like see what the vibes were.

And it was very much like, you know, Bethany in charge, Jill groveling, like Bethany telling Jill everything she did wrong, how she fumbled the bag as a housewife.

She could have been a star.

It was like kind of mean.

That's crazy.

No, granted, I didn't listen to the whole episode, but they were talking about just like their journey at a glance.

And

I don't know, it felt like, oh my God, how many times are we going to beat Jill down for like, yeah, okay.

She was hard on you.

She was hard on you, but she was hungry for you.

We still have to talk about it 15 years later.

I know.

I was like, it was a time warp for sure.

Oh, that's crazy.

Do they talk about the new show?

They might have.

I didn't get there.

Also, the new show, in the five minutes that I watched, like a big topic of conversation

is one of the girls, Erin, plans a group dinner for the group, and two of the girls don't go because the restaurant she chose is like not.

Tacky.

Yeah.

And they kept beeping out the restaurant.

They don't want to be sued?

I don't know.

Sued for saying what?

Like, it's touristy.

It's not cool anymore.

It's past its prime.

Anyways, I didn't like care too much what the restaurant was.

I figured it was like something like bagatelle or something i don't know some place i don't have connection to a connection to and instead the two girls went to cause a chipriami and now it's emerging that the restaurant they were talking about is catch and i just take that personally so i mean

what were they saying about catch is it entirely factually incorrect no To be honest, I feel like it makes the girls look, I don't, I didn't watch the episode.

I cannot tell you anyone's name except for Uba, my queen, and of course, Shen Alliance.

All the other girls, they're all Bryn.

They're all

Jess, whatever.

Like, they're all the girls.

Like, I don't know.

But the ones who were like ragging and like not going to a dinner, like, it makes, like, in my opinion, I know they're trying to be funny and like, you know, elite housewives of New York.

It makes them look like losers.

Just go to the dinner.

Right.

And also, it's like, catch was really popular and trendy.

She was like, it's not 2005 anymore.

Yeah.

It was really popular and trendy, but it's also really good.

Like, even though it's not at its height right now, like you go, the food's good, the music is good, the vibe is good.

And by the way, I am sure that they are limited in the restaurants that they can film at.

They didn't, they weren't filming.

Erin said she just couldn't get like a big reservation.

So raw minutes, she just cooked somewhere.

We love catch.

No, by the way, catch literally raised us.

We were literally spending every weekend there when we were in college.

But no, I mean, that's literally what they're saying.

No, I know.

But even now, like when we would have a GNO like a year ago, we would go to catch.

No, but like if I'm trying to meet a new group of girls and like one of the, like whatever, we just are picking a place to go eat and like a few of the girls won't be seen at that restaurant like nobody cares more about image than me and like even I think that's like so extreme and like really mean Yeah to the girl who planned it and undeserving of catch I feel like there are other restaurants that are really overhyped that like maybe we're trendy at one point but weren't actually good.

Yeah, like catch is the goods.

No, I completely agree.

I saw this whole saga and I think it's actually good because I don't know if anyone would have like cared that much about the Roni reboot, but this is like an interesting storyline.

Everyone trying to figure out and maybe that's why they did it to create intrigue about what restaurant it was, but it's got me interested.

Justice for catch is all I want to say.

I love catch, even still.

And yes, back in the day, that's what they were saying.

It was cool back in the day, and we used to go all the time.

But every time I go still, and they have catch steak now, we just always have the best time.

No, and what are we always saying?

Things are popular for a reason.

And catch, I think, is a prime example of that.

While it may not be the coolest spot now, like good is good.

Good food is good food.

Good vibes are good vibes.

Yeah.

Good drinks.

Good drinks, like good everything.

Yeah.

Okay, so Beyonce's not going to to be there.

Do you even want to eat next to Beyonce?

No one would be looking at you.

That's true.

And instead, they went to Casa Cipriani.

Which, like, okay, is so cool.

Members only.

Like, I just think I kind of hate people like that.

Like, so, like, too cool for school.

You want to go to a restaurant?

You can't spend like one night at a restaurant that's not my favorite restaurant.

And it might not even be like that.

In real life, maybe they're trying to put that out for the show, which isn't even more illusory.

100%.

So, you know what?

Maybe I'll watch.

Yeah, I wanted to finish the episode, but I couldn't sit on the couch anymore because my butt hurt hurt and my back hurt and my belly hurt.

So I didn't.

I watched a little bit of Young Sheldon.

I finally finished my nonfiction book, Jenny, by Ralph Martin.

I think it was a thousand pages.

Damn.

I started it in December.

I was reading it for weeks in December.

It's like a biography about Churchill's mother.

You probably, if you were listening to the Toast in December, you probably remember me talking about you.

Oh, I do.

I do remember Jenny.

Yeah.

Jenny, yeah.

I read it for a few weeks in December, but then I was like, I'm making no headway.

I need to reach my good reads goals.

Like, I need to move on.

I need to move on with my life.

That's so real.

So I shelved it for a while.

You young shelved it.

I young shelved it.

Then last month, there was a historical fiction book about her, that Churchill Woman.

So I was like, let me read that.

I clearly was not at the level of the book I thought I was.

I read that and I found it lacking.

I was like, I need the real story.

I need the

OG.

I went back to the OG and like every night I've been challenging myself to read at least one chapter.

And I finally finished it.

And how good does it feel?

It feels so good to have that marked off and not sitting on my current really reading.

Like that you'd really count as two on Goodreads, you know?

I know.

Something like that.

But then you also have small wins where Cambridge Counselor counts.

Chessica Simpson's, you know, chapter.

Chessica Simpson's 30-page book.

I also read last night.

I read the book for my book club.

What's it called?

Happy Place by Emily Henry.

I went into it with a bad attitude, like really horrible.

Like I

don't, I think Emily Henry books are really overhyped.

And not me, like being 50% of the way through and absolutely loving it.

So much so to the point where I couldn't put it down.

What?

Wait.

I'm in shock.

I finished it.

I can't recall a time in recent memory where somebody has so fumbled.

Like the second half of the book was the worst book I ever read.

Like it was shocking.

I felt like I picked up another book.

I tried to sleep and I couldn't sleep.

I'm like, all right, let me finish it.

I felt like I picked up another book.

I was shocked.

So you didn't like it?

No, no, no.

Oh my God.

Wow, this has been a journey.

Yeah, no, it was a journey.

Like, I went into it with such a hater, changed my mind, and it's like, you know, she was right to hate.

That's kind of the lesson.

Like, trust your instinct.

Yeah.

Well, I finished it for book club, and I feel like, you know, you'll be able to participate in book club.

Another one off the Goodreads.

Where are you at in your 2020?

I'm definitely halfway.

I think I'm on track.

I'm on track, if not.

But I didn't include Camper and Counselor.

But you've read it.

I guess I have.

Include it.

Treat yourself.

You think?

Yeah, 100%.

I am at 28.

I'm at 28 also.

But you have two cheats in there, not to be rude.

And all your books are fucking cheats.

No, they're not.

All your books are cheats.

They're not.

They're not fucking rude.

Don't be fucking rude.

All your books are cheats.

Like, we're not the same.

Yeah, we're not.

I don't put children's books on my good rates.

You just read children's books for everybody.

I don't think the children, it's appropriate for them to read what I read.

No, certainly not.

So they're not children's books.

Certainly not, but you read like PDFs.

Wow.

PDFs.

Not true.

I read scholastic works of art.

Sure.

So that's what I did last night.

And that's what you did last night.

What's your goal for the year?

Well, it automatically sets to 50, but I have to beat last year.

Last year I did 60.

Mine's 40.

You're well on your way, and you're going to be in like your breastfeeding postpartum era.

Like, I think you'll.

I didn't read a lot last time in that era.

Just brain's turned off brain is turned off oh yes for business we were so busy we recorded a podcast episode for the patreon if you want to go listen to it general QA we haven't caught up with everyone like people you know we've been you know modeling doing so many things everyone's like you know dying to keep up with us so we just caught up with everyone general QAs are the patrons we've done polls they're the favorite type of episode that we do you can ask us questions about like any topic, anything.

And things are popular for a reason.

And things are popular for a reason.

So we really got into a bunch of different stuff

and it was really fun.

It was a busy day yesterday.

I spent a lot of time with Harry.

What's better than that?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

And he was like, kind of, would you say, taken with me?

Yeah, he was enjoying his time.

We were all coloring.

It was amazing.

We like Bogarted his coloring book.

Yeah, until like Harry put the crayon in his mouth and then it was like he had nowhere else to put it because you took his coloring toys.

I like low-key love to color.

And not this like adult coloring book.

Like, no, I like simple children's coloring books.

It's just like mindless coloring, just doodling.

Maybe I do like children's books

maybe I do maybe you do

full circle mindless doodling it is really nice it's good to it takes a brain you know to creative places yeah it was nice it was nice this was a gorgeous day oh you know

I walked a lot yesterday because like I met I had a lunch and then I whatever I was walking around and I'm like this might be the first time in my life like I'll actually do 10,000 steps okay I walked so much

Not me getting into bed and like 6,500.

How the fuck do they tell people to walk 10,000 steps a day?

Like, I have a very, you know, flexible job, a flexible life.

Are people who walk 10,000 steps a day unemployed?

Like, seriously, where are they doing that?

I don't know.

Zach used to take so many steps in a day, but he also like paces a lot and he's on calls.

Like, that shouldn't count, but it does.

But it does.

Yeah.

But you, like, aside from that walk that you did, those two big walks, like, you are sedentary the entire day.

But aren't most people?

Like, we have to work.

I guess not.

Okay, yesterday I had, let me look, my step count is abysmal right now.

What was yesterday?

As it should be.

Yesterday was Monday.

6,700.

And like, when I tell you, I walked all day.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

So, and I walked well over a mile.

So we're supposed to be walking over a mile a day?

I guess so, but also studies have come out that this 10,000 step count thing is like extremely arbitrary.

It was like a marketing tool.

Well, that Fitbit for sure.

And I also don't really understand.

Like, I don't believe that my phone is truly like a perfect pedometer.

It's not.

And, like, sometimes you go to the bathroom without your phone.

Like, you forget it.

There's a couple steps.

Yeah, but it's like you're counting on your bathroom steps to get you to 10,000.

Like, you're so far off.

Everything counts.

And with the frequency I go to the bathroom, I can count.

Oh, well, you, yes.

I deserve those steps.

You should wear a pedometer then, like a Fitbit or an Apple Watch.

I used to wear an Our Ring.

Right.

And then I lost it.

Right.

But yeah, if you want more accurate step count,

get a

tracker thing.

Get a grip.

what are the wearable tech right that was a crazy time when like everyone was wearing fitbits it was like the biggest baddest thing and everyone was just like monitoring their hearts all the time that's what people do with apple watch now yeah but like fitbits started it whoop and then remember like there was that study that came out that like after like years of football fitbit popularity and like literally everyone owning a fitbit that um people were actually gaining weight no and like all of the data was completely inaccurate oh no i didn't see that i saw that people were actually gaining weight because they like they had always always been taking these

amount of steps, but now that they was tracking it, no, it's like, oh, I took so many steps today.

I cannot give a Snickers.

Oh, well, that's...

But they were always doing that.

Yeah, I love when like, you know,

kind of ubiquitous health trends become, you know,

the opposite.

No, no, what's the word?

Debunked?

Yeah, perfect.

Debunked.

Like, remember when everyone was eating kind bars and then like years later, there was a study that said a kind bar is actually just as fattening for you as a Snickers.

So all of us who were choosing Snickers over kind bars the last few years were kind of vindicated?

Yeah.

I never liked a kind bar.

Me neither.

And I love a bar, perfect bar.

I love Go Macro.

I know.

Fiber One.

I like people.

Kindbar is like a cult.

Not enough people talk about that.

They're too chewy.

It gives me a headache.

It's just like,

it's just not good, you know?

No, it's not.

And that's kind of where I draw the line for snacks.

It's too hard.

It's too hard.

Reformulate.

So we've got a great show.

I mean, there's quite literally so much to talk about.

Yeah.

And I think we quite literally

have no choice other than to get into the fast five stories that you need to know.

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Well, thanks, Churdy.

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Our first story is some major news, beauty news, which is some of my favorite news.

Perfect for two beautiful girls.

As I look at you, I'm inspired to share beauty news.

That's so generous of you.

Thank you.

Would you say it's beauty news that's beautiful, stunning, and smart?

Yes, about a girly swirly who's beautiful, stunning, and smart.

This is like major news in the beauty modeling industry, and shockingly, it's not about us.

No, but we

have a way to make it about us.

That is what's, I think, most exciting about this story.

Because we've been knowing this news for a few days now before it.

No, not a few days.

I would say like maybe a week and a half.

Well, your perception of time is

also very true.

Also, very true.

So maybe, let's settle on a week.

Week and a half.

We've known this news for a while, and we're so excited to share.

Our first story is actually brought to you by L'Oreal Paris because Kendall Jenner has been named their new international spokesperson for L'Oreal Paris.

So I just have to say I love this.

I think this is such a get for L'Oreal and such a get for Kendall.

Like L'Oreal is the biggest, most internationally recognized beauty brand.

Kendall is really like the biggest model of our time currently.

And so this partnership makes a lot of sense.

I love things that make a lot of sense.

The photos from the photo shoot are like sickening stunning.

She's wearing this.

kind of like high-end sweatshirt that we're also wearing today.

Only really fashionable girls can wear.

No, it's kind of like a sweatshirt made exclusively for models.

Yeah.

And so, you know, me, you, Kendall, like, it makes sense.

It makes sense.

I love this.

I think this is so smart on L'Oreal's part.

So smart.

She's the new Foch.

She's got a gorgeous Foch.

Yep.

And L'Oreal, she's worth it.

Uh, because she's worth it.

I'm worth it.

I mean, we are worth it.

Let's just, let's get that out of the way.

Yeah.

And what I love about this is I read that like Mary Phillips, who is Kendall's makeup artist, was like really involved in the photo shoot.

And Mary Phillips is like so iconic.

Her like under painting tutorial went viral on TikTok.

I tried it.

It was like underpainting is when you contour underneath, you contour and highlight underneath your foundation.

So like you're really contouring from within.

Now, when it's, you know, Mary Phillips does it, it's absolutely gorgeous, beautiful, stunning, smart.

When I did it, it looked like I literally rubbed dirt on my face.

But like, I think it just takes some practice.

So, like, a lot of like the TikTok beauty trends are involved.

I think it's really smart.

I love Mary Phillips.

She's so talented.

I actually needed to do that this morning.

I was looking at my face and I was like, I need contour, but I needed it under my foundation.

Under painting is the method, and honestly, it's so difficult to, I watch like a thousand tutorials to master, but if you do, it's like really the key to wearing no makeup while looking snatched.

But you're wearing like so much makeup, you know?

Yeah, that's so us.

So us.

Well, I think this is news that makes sense.

Yep, love that.

It's beautiful news.

I'm happy for Kendall.

I look forward to seeing her face everywhere.

That's such a delight.

We're always saying, you know, what if Kendall wore it?

Yeah, what if we saw Kendall in this?

Kendall doing that.

And like just to be in airports, buses, everything like and see Kendall.

Planes, bus, club, another club, bus.

Works for me.

Works for me.

I love this.

I think this is so major, you You know, big moves on the Kardashians' part, big moves on L'Oreal's part.

Yeah.

Also, what's really exciting and what's even better is that L'Oreal is giving you the chance to win a trip of a lifetime, an all-expenses trip for two to Paris for Paris Fashion Week.

Wow.

To enter, maybe me and you should enter and go.

You know what kind of sounds like?

It sounds like it's a passport to Paris.

Literally.

To enter, all you have to do is go to their website and enter to win by filling out the L'Oreal Paris trip to Paris giveaway form.

The giveaway is only open for two weeks, so you better go now.

Do not forget to go sign up for the sweepstakes.

Live your best Parisian life.

Bonuis.

Is that Italian?

No, that was a point.

Undu trois.

Yeah.

All that.

Don't forget to sign up.

We'll leave a link in our podcast description for the website and signing up, so it'll be super easy.

And if a toaster gets picked to go to Paris, like, you need a plus one?

Shot.

No, I think you'll be like, you know, busy.

I absolutely don't.

I don't feel like I'll deserve it because of how busy I've been.

No, I mean,

I see your point.

However, no.

I think we should sign up together.

Yes.

But if a toaster wins, like, I am available.

And I'm happy for you.

Know that I am.

Know that I am.

And I'm happy for L'Oreal.

I'm happy for Kendall.

This is great news to start off the day.

Agreed.

Okay, next story.

It's a two-fer because we have two big celebrity couples who are divorcing as of yesterday.

Back to back.

First, we have Ariana Grande and her husband Dalton Gomez who have separated, saying we couldn't make it work in a post-COVID world.

Sources connected to the former couple with direct knowledge tell TMZ that when Ari and Dalton hooked up in 2020, they were everything to each other.

Company, romance, support, all of it.

And when COVID restrictions lifted, their differences became alarmingly apparent.

Dalton, who's a realtor, was taken aback by Ariana's celebrity.

He had not dealt with her schedule, the paparazzi, and the various opportunities that took her out of LA.

All of this to say they could not make it work, you know, with her being so busy.

You know what it's giving?

Lies.

Well, for sure.

But you know what else it's giving?

Disgueding conflict.

Max Erchlich.

Like civilian dating a celeb and can't handle it.

Buckles under the pressure.

Could not hack it.

I mean, like I said yesterday, I'm not heartbroken.

Like, I don't know this man.

He's like so irrelevant to me.

And this kind of being like Ari's brand, like literally seven rings, like I'm kind of here for the seven husbands of Ariana Grande.

Like I'm here for Ari to like continue to get married and like divorced.

Yeah, but what's crazy is this was actually just her first marriage.

Well, second engagement.

Second engagement, yeah.

And you know, she had like such a big love with Mac

and with Big Sean, honestly.

Like, I really ship.

I know Big Sean is like so happy, but I really do ship.

I feel like, you know what?

I'm like kind of living for this.

I kind of wish she had married all of them when she was dating them.

Right.

I feel what you're saying completely.

I think this is a load of horseshit.

Like, how do you marry Ariana Grande and not expect her to be busy?

I also feel like, even though she's filming a movie in London right now, this is at least not busy that busy.

So true.

There was a time where she was not sleeping.

Like she was album twice a year.

Bus club.

She was like just the busiest girl in the world.

Now she has like this one steady gig that's going to take her years in London to film.

And like he could be there with her if he wanted to.

Doing real estate.

But he doesn't.

It's clear that he doesn't want to be there.

It's so true.

This is probably like the most stable few years

Ariana's going to have, just given her schedule.

Like she's not touring.

She's not releasing music.

So it's really just kind of like a day job.

Yeah.

And that's like a blessing, I feel like projects like this when you live that life.

So, he couldn't even hack it now.

She's in one place, right?

Like, you're shocked.

I don't know.

I mean, if he's lying, it could be a lie.

If it's the truth, it's like pathetic.

Sure, relationships are different in COVID versus out of COVID, but then to be surprised by her celebrity outside, like lies.

No, I'm just like the lie detector determined that was a lie.

So true.

I am incredibly here for this breakup.

I think this really adds to Ariana's kind of air of mystery and and her brand as like a powerful woman.

And I hope she continues to fall in love, you know, as many times as she wants to.

As many times as she needs to.

Right.

As many times as time will allow her, you know?

Yeah.

And keep getting divorced, keep getting engaged.

Like, I'm, I love it.

Yeah, but I also think that he misbehaved.

Like, I think that if he had acted right, they would still be married.

I don't think this is what she wanted.

No, this isn't like a plan of hers.

It's just a nice side effect.

No, it's not like she like just intentionally married someone to like get over him in a few years.

Like, I think he didn't behave.

And like, that's unacceptable when you're married to Ariana Grande, who's not only so successful, but she's so gorgeous and like adorable.

Fucking behave.

Who are you going out with instead when you could be home with Ari

in London?

That's true.

Because

I said yesterday that I had seen some blinds that he was, you know, spotting around others.

I saw a story today that he's already like seeing other people.

And it's like, who do you think you are?

Who the hell do you think you are?

Kelly's an album.

I mean, you don't have to tell me twice.

A fellow divorcee.

Maybe, oh, did you see the song?

And they're friends from the voice.

Yes, not only are they friends, they have deep admiration and respect for one another.

Yeah, and they can outsing each other.

Yeah.

It's unclear who's a better songstress.

It's really unclear.

No, like some people would say Ari, some people would say Kelly.

As a fan of both of them, I actually don't know who I would say.

Neither of those people would be wrong.

No, in some ways, it's like I want to say Ari because she's the voice of a generation, but like Kelly fucking slays.

So I think if if I had to choose, I would say that Ari is a more skilled vocalist.

Uh-huh.

And Kelly is still an extremely skilled vocalist, but where she has Ari beat is songwriting.

Agreed, but you can't underestimate Kelly's vocal.

No, you can't.

I know.

And you really, like, think of all the bangers Ari, like, you really can't underestimate Ari's songwriting abilities.

It's too much.

And that's why they respect one another so much.

They know that neither one of them has anything over on the other.

Yeah.

And that's why when they perform together, they just like keep riffing on top of each other, but it's not in a competitive way.

It's just like, let us do our thing.

I hope that these two can lean on each other through these difficult times.

I agree, though, I have to add her to the list and see who's waiting for her on the list,

though she never goes for the obvious choice.

And up until this point, I think it's gotten her like far.

Like, you know,

now Pete Davidson is an obvious choice, but...

Ariana made him the obvious choice.

He was not an obvious choice.

Neither was Mac Miller.

So she kind of makes, you know, men out of boys yeah

jeremy allen white oh my god even though you know he's rumored to be dating selena gomez oh no i didn't know yeah

but obsessed with him too and and i'm looking and ari who on this list is like ari's i read a rumor no one for her here i read a rumor that like is completely unsubstantiated but that taylor might be releasing a remix to one of her vault songs you're losing me um

with ari why i don't know someone just said it so i believe

i don't know actually no because like ari's so scooter brawn i feel feel like Taylor would never.

Oh, I just, I debunked the rumor.

Yeah, I created the rumor and debunked it all in one.

Ari and Taylor have, like, never acknowledged each other once.

Right, not negative or positive, you know?

Yeah.

Oh, you know, speaking of, I forget if you were on the toast.

Maybe it was GBT when we were talking about Lizzo.

And it was me and Taylor, I think.

So did you see there was like another interaction this weekend?

Lizzo was at a concert and somebody had a sign that said, like, I chose to be here, you know, over Taylor.

And Lizzo, like, picked the sign up, like, signed it and was like, There's no beef, but like picking up the sign that like is putting down another artist, like kind of fuels the fire of the beef.

Yeah, I also think that Lizzo

probably saw the feedback that like she has beef with Taylor and doesn't want, she's not that kind of artist, so she probably wanted to debunk the beef thing, but I'm not like no, if anything, um, my fire is more fueled than ever.

I feel the same as I felt where it's like, there's probably something, yeah, but I also understand her wanting to squash it, but not knowing how because it's unsquashable Because it's real.

You're unsquashable.

What song is that?

You're irreplaceable.

Was that you singing?

I don't know.

You're unsquashable.

That's good, too.

That's good, too.

I want to know what you were saying.

I don't know.

How many hot soldiers?

That sounds like what you're singing.

Have you tuned down before?

Maybe irreplaceable.

Sing it again what you were singing.

You're unsquashable.

No, you're singing something else.

Sound off in in the comments.

What am I singing?

I feel like someone's going to know.

It sounds like kind of familiar.

Yeah.

One more time.

You're unsquashable.

I think you're irreplaceable.

Now you're changing it to like.

No.

Okay.

I'm consistent.

Okay.

I think.

Let me know what you think.

You're consistent, and I read children's books.

Part two.

Of the breakup news.

Of the breakup news.

This is devastating.

Is that Sophia Vergara and Joe Manginello are divorcing after seven years of marriage.

Page six can exclusively reveal.

The couple said in a statement, quote, we have made the difficult decision to divorce as two people that love and care for one another very much.

We politely ask for respect of our privacy at this time as we navigate this new phase of our lives.

This was really difficult for me for a multitude of reasons.

I don't know if you know this, Sophia Vergara is a birthday buddy of mine.

Sounds familiar, but I'm glad that you gave us that context.

So I'm not like her number one fan, but I definitely feel a kinship.

Yeah.

And I feel like I was so invested in her journey with Joe Manginello because

he's so fucking hot.

Like, I watched True Blood.

Like, he's literally the hottest man on the planet.

Like, no one hotter has ever been born.

It's just a fact, except for me, maybe.

So, like, it's always exciting to see who someone like that is going to be with.

And Sophia Vergara is like, obviously, the most beautiful woman in the world, but she wasn't like an obvious choice, you know?

And like, they're so different, you know?

And I was so happy for them, especially because I think that they met during a really difficult period in her life where like her ex-husband was like suing her for their embryos.

It was like really like a disgusting thing for a human being to do.

And I think that Joe

comforted her in that time.

And I loved how he was there for her.

And I've always felt like a real

like observer to their journey.

And I thought they were really happy and they were never like thirsty or even really spotted out together, which made us, you know, believe in their love even more.

They're not doing it for the cameras.

So I kind of forgot about them, which is a good sign in a Hollywood relationship.

So for the next thing I hear to be them breaking up, It's absolutely devastating.

Like I was really, really crushed.

So I feel a little differently about it.

And I love them as a couple, and they make so much sense.

And they're just like Hollywood A-list perfection.

But I feel like we got what we needed from this relationship.

Like, they don't have kids together, right?

Seven years in Hollywood, that's like, you know, 21 years, dog years.

Like, that's a long, successful marriage.

They no longer serve each other.

They get to go back on the market and we get to see them with other people.

Like, I've got what I needed.

No, I'm sorry.

Like.

If it couldn't be me, I'm glad it was her, you know, and I don't want it to be anyone else.

That's all right.

You never know.

Maybe he'll pick someone.

Me?

That, like, you also love.

Maybe she'll, and also if they're divorcing, like, they're obviously unhappy with each other.

They'll be happier elsewhere.

Add them to the list.

Oh, yeah.

Is there any?

I mean, okay, wait, I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

Joe Manginello and Ari.

Joe Manginello and Chloe Kardashian.

Like, sorry, that's actually perfect.

You're right.

I could learn to love again.

Right, right.

See, it's fun.

No, it is.

But, like, I really, I will be mourning the loss of this relationship.

I think they were like a...

kind of a pillar in their community.

I agree.

And it's hard when like you lose a pillar because that's the foundation.

And we've lost a lot of pillars over the years.

And the whole thing could come crumbling down.

Yeah.

If we continue to lose.

No, it's

definitely a tough break, but you've kind of made me see

there is a possibility for happiness on the other side.

Yeah.

And they weren't, like you said, they weren't giving us anything.

So it's not like on the day-to-day, I was like reminded of that they're together and that's the same thing.

Yeah, but if they were giving us stuff, we would have started to hate them, you know?

Eventually, like you always are just like, all right, it's an off.

Yeah.

Even when you love like a couple.

I don't know.

This was, it was shocking.

Even though a lot of people were like, I knew.

Did you see what he posted for her birthday?

Like,

okay.

I roll.

I didn't know.

And I'm devastated.

I'm sorry.

But just think of Chloe.

Just think of Chloe.

No.

Like, they're actually perfect for each other.

He's quite literally the hottest man on the world.

Or Kim.

No.

No.

No.

No.

I'm thinking like a real personality, even though I've never met Joe Manjanella or even like seen him in anything that wasn't like a role.

I have like a strong feeling that they would really connect on like a personality level.

I feel like he's kind of goofy, but he's also like a strong silent type.

Like, I don't know.

I just, it's, he gives me like energy from one of the characters of my book, in my books, you know?

Oh, for sure.

And he also played that in True Blood, which is where I learned about him.

He was kind of this just like stoic, like hot, like hero.

Like, I'm obsessed.

And I know everybody thinks of him now probably for Magic Mike, right?

Not I.

Those movies never connected with me.

Me neither.

Nevertheless, I still love him.

Yeah.

Okay, well, it could be.

Like, when people ask me my celebrity crush, like, I never say him, but like, he really is, like, one of them.

Yeah.

He just seems like a solid citizen.

Yeah, and like a nice guy.

All-American vibe, you know.

Throwing a football around.

Nice looking.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Definitely.

Miranda Lambert has been blasted for stopping a concert to call out fans for taking a selfie.

I'm obsessed.

Okay, so Miranda Lambert was performing a concert this weekend.

I believe in Vegas, right?

She has a residency there.

Yeah, and the picture, the subsequent picture was giving Vegas residency.

Vegas outfits.

And someone posted on TikTok a video of her stopping, singing her song Tane Man to say, quote, I'm going to stop right here for a second.

I'm sorry.

These girls are worried about their selfie and not listening to the song.

It's pissing me off a little bit.

She added that she did not like their behavior at all.

We're here to hear some country music.

I'm singing some damn country music.

While some fans cheered in the footage, others walked out of the show.

One could be heard saying, let's go.

You don't do that to fans.

However, some fans are stand and social media users are standing by Miranda.

Other people are like, you know, that's not cool.

And the women who took the picture have spoken.

Have spoken.

They posted their picture

to Instagram.

And so.

Of course, the internet found out who these bitches were like in 35 seconds, flocked to the photo, left comments on their Instagram.

So funny.

And all the pictures, like they had had their group photo, which I guess is when they got stopped for, but they also each out like solo shots with like Miranda in the back.

They're obviously really big fans.

They spoke to NBC News and said, quote, it felt like I was back at school with the teacher scolding me for doing something wrong and telling me to sit back down in my place.

I feel like she was determined to make us look like we were young, immature, and vain, but we were just grown women in our 30s to 60s trying to take a picture.

Oh.

Oh my God.

She said, we took the picture quickly and we were going to sit back down.

They said the group couldn't get one good picture before the show started, so she asked someone to take their photo towards the end of the concert.

We were so excited because I think we had the best seats in the house in the whole theater.

But that also makes it worse because she's staring at you guys the whole time.

Right, but like they spent the money.

Yeah, so we were talking about this yesterday.

Like, what do we think?

And on the one, like, overall, it's like they spend the money, they bought the tickets, however they want to spend their time is how they're going to spend their time.

And like, they're taking selfies, like, they're excited to be there.

They're promoting you, you know?

Yeah, like, and it also, first of all, they weren't taking a selfie in this picture because a selfie implies that they're ignoring Miranda and they're focused on themselves.

Yeah.

But in the picture, Miranda.

They all turned around so Miranda could get in the background of the photo.

Right.

And so Miranda is still the featured.

The focus of the picture.

And it's there, especially since they're like older women.

Like, I'm sure, you know, it's hard for them to get.

I understand.

But I also...

Miranda doesn't know all of that.

She doesn't know they couldn't get their picture before the show.

They love Miranda.

They're in their 60s.

They're just trying to get a cute photo.

Like, she's just seeing it from her perch on the stage where it's like, these girls have their backs turned to me.

They're focused on taking pictures.

Who knows how many pictures they took?

They have the best seats in the house.

She has to look at only them and they're not focused on her.

Now, does that make what she did right?

No.

No, by the way, Miranda in her brain has absolutely every right to be like, oh, these fucking women.

Like you can, it's definitely like as a performer, like somebody ignoring you.

Like, hello, I'm standing right here.

To call them out is so, in my opinion, like unequivocally wrong.

Not only is it like humiliating for people who probably flew, most people for Vegas residencies, they fly to see you.

Flew all the way, spend all the money, like are probably so excited.

They got the best seats, like they're obviously huge fans.

To call them out and embarrass them is so mean-spirited and like so unnecessary.

And not to say that, like, was she wrong for her opinion?

No, she was wrong for sharing it.

Yeah.

Like, it's humiliating.

And then to rile up the crowd, she's like, I want to sing some country music.

And, like, getting everybody to be like, yeah, yeah.

Like, it's humiliating.

It's mean.

It's unnecessary.

And, you know, this is, I've been on a journey with Miranda Lambert.

Like, I really did not understand her as a, as a woman, as an, as an artist many years ago, but I've kind of fallen in love with her over the last few years.

Like, I just, I get her now.

I don't get this.

Yeah, it's a little

overboard in terms of how she handled it.

And also taking pictures is kind of like the fun of a concert.

Like you take pictures, you take videos.

Like, it's just, it's not that crazy.

But on the other hand, like, I feel like comedians do this all the time.

Like, someone even takes their phone out to send a text if you're even allowed to have your phone and they will call you out.

Okay.

And that's like, yeah, go off.

Okay.

I have two rebuttals to that.

One, a part of comedy culture and like going to a comedy show is knowing at any time you could be called on.

Like you're kind of agreeing to like this unspoken social contract.

Like if I'm going to a comedy club, like I could very well be picked on.

Like you, you, some people go because they love that.

One.

Two, a part of also comedy culture is phones being not allowed.

Like in the age of social media, I think everyone who like is a fan of a comedian knows like I'm not going to record a set and put it online.

I'm not going to be on my phone.

Like it's completely different.

Whereas concert culture kind of thrives off of videos going viral and performances being shown all over the world.

It's two totally different cultures.

I don't think that's a fair comparison.

Okay.

Well, maybe Miranda wants her shows to kind of be a culture where you just sit and listen to some damn country music.

Well, I feel like you have to put that out there.

You have to say, like, you know, in an interview or, you know,

before the show, be like, listen, like, remember when Lorde unplugged her microphone and told everybody to shh so she could sing without the microphone and have everybody hear her?

Like, that was a weird ass thing, but her fans going in knew that that was what she does because she's put that out there.

Okay, so I think this is a good lesson for Miranda fans.

Like, Miranda doesn't want to see you on your phone.

Okay.

But it's still, this was way harsh, Ty.

Way harsh, Ty Frazier.

Yeah.

It was not a good look for Miranda.

And now, by the way, like, and this is what happens, this is just the nature of like internet culture.

Is anytime she's like had any kind of like other weird

on stage moments.

Are they being broadcast?

Like I saw, you know, at concerts, a lot of the times people like throw around beach balls and like they tap it to one part of the crowd and it goes to to another and it landed on stage and she literally got a knife and deflated.

Like she's got enough.

For sure.

But the thing I'll say about this story is I actually don't think it's that damaging to her because it's not my favorite word incongruous with how I envision her personality.

Bad gal energy.

Yeah, like I, with the Ben Platt thing.

I'm so glad you brought that up.

Yes.

It was like he...

Showcases himself as like this affable, loving person.

Theater-loving art critic.

Like, yeah.

Yeah, but it turns out behind the scenes, like, he's a little bit of a human.

He's a bad person.

He won't answer questions and he can't take a joke.

He's throwing things at his apartment.

But Miranda Lambert like is serious about music.

Like she's not is she even on social media?

Like she's like the bad girl of country.

She doesn't give a fuck.

You're right.

That's an amazing point.

So I don't think this harms her brand.

That's an amazing point.

Oh, and I'm sorry.

Like if somebody else got embarrassed at a concert I was at, like, I would never leave.

Like, if I got embarrassed, for sure, I would leave.

But somebody else, I'd be like, okay, that was weird.

But I like I paid for these tickets.

I'm still going to watch a show.

Yeah, no, I wouldn't have left over this.

Like, I would have thought that was.

If you were the girls, girls would you have left who got yelled at um

i would have like i would have like probably cried

i don't know i would have been like mortified them them talking to nbc and saying it felt like they were at the principal's office that's the perfect like that is what it feels like they did come all this way no i know and like they're clearly such big fans so how do you kind of grapple those two realities?

Yeah.

I really felt bad for these girlies.

Like they just looked like fun-time girls.

They were just looking for a good time.

I know.

Like they flew all the way to Vegas, you know, girls' trip.

And when you're like older, you don't get those opportunities.

Like life gets in the way.

Oh, and that's the other thing.

I used to go to a concert a week.

Now I haven't been to a concert in years.

This show also being in Vegas is like an important factor.

Like Vegas is extra special and extra kind of kooky.

Like things happen in Vegas.

They fly in Vegas that would never happen in Portland, you know?

Like it's an important factor.

Like,

I don't know.

She's wrong for this.

Yeah, but she doesn't give a shit.

But your, your point about her just kind of being like the bad gal of country and this being completely Congress with like the reputation she has is really like this isn't going to damage her brand.

This isn't going to harm sales.

No, I agree.

Like the people who love her still want to see her.

They're going to put their phones away.

Yeah.

And you know what?

I feel like for Miranda, that's a win.

That's kind of what she wanted.

Good, because it's the one you got.

Like, I'm sure everyone around her today is like, Miranda, what do we want to say?

And she's like, I don't give a shit.

Yeah.

Don't use your, don't take your selfies.

Yeah, no, I don't, like, I think like her publicist is probably like losing her mind.

Miranda's sleeping soundly.

Miranda couldn't be bothered to care.

Agreed.

And you know what?

That's why she's the bad gal of country.

Like bad gal Riri, bad gal Mimi.

It's true.

Are you ready for our next story?

No.

You're not.

No.

Do I look ready?

I guess you're not.

Do I look ready?

I just wasn't picking up on social cues.

Well, this is not the first time.

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Thank you, Claudia.

Yeah, welcome.

Our fifth and final story: Gigi Hadid has been.

Already, yeah, time flies when you're with your swirlies.

Two, three,

four,

and Kendall, five.

No.

No?

No, you're right.

Well, that's good because I had to act so many stories today.

I had the Skims one.

Okay, yeah, that was going to be moved to tomorrow.

Something felt wrong.

Sorry, with the double dipping.

Yeah, no, we're not going to lie.

Lindsay Low hang up until tomorrow.

We'll talk about it tomorrow.

But I'm really happy for her.

I mean, I guess we could talk about it.

I guess that's it.

No, no, no.

By the way, it really is it.

Some stories are obviously so major.

Like somebody died or somebody gave birth, and it's like, oh, congrats, or that's so sad.

And it's hard to make a podcast out of that, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you just still want to mention it.

All right, so I guess this is us mentioning it.

Lindsay gave birth.

I'm really happy for her.

Okay, so is that the fourth story?

No.

Okay, so we're doing six.

Yeah.

But this is four, I think.

Whatever.

This story is crazy.

Gigi Adid has been released after being arrested for marijuana in the Cayman Islands.

So Gigi had a bumpy start to her summer vacation.

The model was embarking on a girl's trip to the Cayman Islands on July 10th on Claudia's birthday when she was arrested at Owen Roberts International.

GG's been locked up since my birthday?

No, I think it's just coming out now that e-news has learned.

According to the local outlet, Cayman Marl Road, shortly after Gigi and her pal arrived via private plane, custom officials allegedly found, quote, ganja and utensils used for the consumption of ganja in their luggage.

Hadid and her friend were then arrested on, quote, suspicion importation of ganja and importation of utensils.

Why are they calling it ganja?

I guess that's what they call it there.

That's crazy.

I thought like...

That's like what teenagers call it.

You got some ganj, you know?

The importation of utensils used for the consumption of ganja.

The outlet reports adding that they were taken to the prisoner detention center where they were released on bail.

Two days later, she and her friend were formally charged during a court appearance where they pleaded guilty and were both fined $1,000, according to the local newspaper.

They are not facing any charges.

Her rep told e-news that Gigi was traveling with marijuana purchased legally in New York City with a medical license.

It has also been legal for medical use in Grand Cayman since 2017.

Her record remains clear and she enjoyed the rest of her time on the island.

Okay.

I mean, like, obviously, pot is not a big deal, especially in America.

Like, it's legal in a lot of places.

But, like, I feel like a lot of people do this.

When I was reading Andy Cohen's book, like, his first diaries like a million years ago, I thought it was so crazy.

And then, like, Brittany Griner, like,

pot is so normalized, but like, the amount of people who travel with it out of the country is so dangerous.

Like, you really shouldn't.

And obviously, like, pot is pot.

It's like, not a big deal.

It's like traveling with like, you know, a beer or whatever.

You can't travel with a beer, but you know what I'm saying.

I feel like this is an important reminder.

Like, just because it's so embedded in our culture, like doesn't mean in other countries, like, it's not a serious offense.

And I watched watched Locked Up Abroad, and you can really, through kind of, you know, circumstances out of your own control, end up in a Nicaraguan prison.

And it's really crazy.

And I guess this is also important to note that, like, even if in a country

medical use is legal, maybe you have to do it.

You're transporting it.

Maybe you're even locked up until they can prove that yours was of medical use.

No, and it's like, even if it's legal there and legal here, to take it from one state to another.

Remember it.

Right.

I feel like this is just an important reminder because pot is like so embedded in it.

You can't smuggle it.

Right.

Put it up your presidency.

Like, because no don't no i'm kidding i'm kidding no i'm saying like it's like smuggling it's like smuggling like because pot is so embedded in our culture i think people like totally forget oh i have a vape pen and they throw it in like it's really not smart i feel like we all learned it with like britney griner and this is another example like do not travel out of the country with pot i think interstates with drugs with drugs of course but i don't think people are like you know actually maybe people are bringing like blocks of cocaine i don't know but People who aren't like drug smugglers are just like throwing, you know, a joint in their makeup case and hoping nobody finds it.

But like, it's so dangerous and it is illegal.

And it's like one of those things, like, just because like, you know, even in places where it's not legal in America, like, I feel like, you know, cops like look past it.

They don't do that at the border, you know?

Yeah.

You've got to be smart.

This is an important reminder.

It is illegal.

Yeah.

Crazy story.

Crazy story.

You think we're going to get a GG mugshot?

I don't know how it works.

No, and also in like celeb world.

No, but celebs, we always see their mug shot.

No, but like

sometimes they get arrested like and we don't see see a mug shot, you know

Like sometimes you get booked, but like you know what I mean?

Yeah, but did they get a mug shot?

I feel like when there's a mug shot we see it of course of course no, but sometimes there's not a mug shot.

Yeah, well, that's just I saw the funniest meme.

It was like me getting arrested taking my mug shots and then they like take it.

Ooh, send me that.

Yeah, no, totally.

Hilarious.

I love memes.

I love memes.

Jackie loves memes.

Like nobody sends and receives more memes than Jackie.

I send memes all day long.

You're kind of like keeping meme culture alive.

Single-handedly.

I send memes to like, I have a roster of people who I send memes to and everyone gets a different meme.

Like I send Ben a lot of memes.

I'm like, that makes sense.

So Ben.

Yeah.

I send Olivia, you, motherhood.

Snitch, do I send her a lot of memes?

I don't think, I don't know.

She's kind of like too young.

Like, young kids don't fuck with memes.

Yeah, and I have to look at our DMs.

I send you so many memes.

I love it.

Because any memes that I find like genuinely funny, I know you're going to find funny too.

But like meme culture is definitely kind of a like chuggy millennial thing.

And it's waning for sure, but the memes I get served.

Fire flames.

Fire.

Yeah.

You should share more memes to your story.

I should.

You guys don't know how I love memes.

She chuckles.

They're so good.

And there's some classic setups that I love, like classic images.

Just such good stuff.

Jackie's kind of like a number one consumer of meme culture.

And that's a fun fact about me.

Yeah, you might not know.

Yeah.

Now, are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I am.

Is this the life-saving news I've been asking you to talk about?

It is.

A fan claims Kim Kardashian's Skims' bodysuit saved her life after being shot four times.

So, Angela Wiley went viral on TikTok after revealing a tragic story-turned endorsement for Skims.

Oh, I was, my, my whole thing on this was like, I've been hearing this girl telling the story about how Skim's bodysuit saved her life.

And I'm like, if Kim doesn't put this bitch in some sort of billboard.

Oh, I mean, I don't know if she's put her in a billboard, but it's an endorsement in the sense, not of a paid endorsement, just of a real meaning of the word, right?

Not a recommendation for the brand.

Because she said that she was shot four times on January 1st, 2023, while she was waiting for a lift.

And she said her injuries would have been worse if she wasn't wearing a bodysuit from Skims.

She said, Kim Kardashian saved my life.

This New Year's, I got shot four times.

The night I got shot under my dress, I was wearing a Skims shaping bodysuit.

It was so tight on me that literally it kept me from bleeding out.

She said, call it fate or Jesus, but I'm going to call it Kim.

No, but for real, thanks, Kim.

Okay, first of all, like, because she just glazed over.

Like, yeah, I was shot four times.

Right.

What?

Is everything okay?

Like, what happened?

Did they get the guy?

Right.

Now that we move past that initial shock, this actually makes a lot of sense.

Like, if you've seen the Skims bodysuits, like when you pick them up, they're literally the size of like Harry's t-shirt.

Like, they're tiny.

And of course, they're built to stretch and whatever, but they're really meant to hold you in.

And, you know, when you think holding in, I'm thinking, you know, cellulite.

I'm thinking fupa.

I'm thinking saggy skin.

I'm not thinking blood.

Intestines.

But.

The math makes sense.

The science is sciencing.

Yeah, it's like a little tourniquet for the road.

No, it's literally a tourniquet.

Kim absolutely has to respond.

I'm sure she's seen this story.

It's everywhere.

And they need to do like a really sickening photo shoot.

Like, I need to figure out like the slogan that's not like insensitive towards gun violence.

You know, it's not going to be like a gun-themed photo shoot.

Yeah.

But like, it should be like a glamorous snatch, but the slogan has to be like,

I don't want it to be insensitive because like this girl was shot.

But it sounds like she's like, you know, moved, like, she's kind of, you know, healed.

physically, but also mentally because she's like making jokes about it.

So I think she'd be down to like maybe get creative.

Yeah.

We need a slogan that like,

I don't know.

Like, it's, it's dicey.

Yeah, yeah.

Though the Sims marketing team has some really great brains on it.

Yeah, but I feel like it's like, choose skims.

It could save your life.

I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

I'm just going to be like a little harsh.

Skims.

No.

I'm fucking this up.

Choose skims.

Your life might depend on it.

Yeah, that's like a little extreme.

But like, honestly, it's pushing the boundaries of creative advertising.

Choose Skims as if your life depends on it.

Because it does.

Because it might.

Because it might.

Something needs to be done.

Now, I'm not saying they should do like a blood-themed photo shoot.

No.

I think they should give her like the Hollywood treatment.

I have to imagine Skims has already reached out.

Like, Skims is so in tune with like Shimmy.

I don't think they'll put her in a campaign, but I think they'll send her a shit ton of skims and she'll be posting about it.

I don't know.

I think they actually might.

They're always putting like random people in.

That's true.

They love like the advertisement.

And they don't do like one campaign a year.

They do like one a month.

Right.

Okay, maybe they would like put her in a campaign, but not do a campaign around like bulletproof skims.

Yeah, also, I don't think they can like legally say

like this might have been a coincidence, but like maybe also the bullets were just like literally in the perfect place for someone to not bleed out.

So like they probably can't legally, you know, it's false advertising.

Like it'll save your life because it might not.

You might get shot and wearing a Skims bodysuit and still die.

You could get shot in the head.

Also very true.

So

there's a way to work with her.

There is, but I just don't know if they're going to go down the stage.

Dicey.

I think they'll embrace her into the Skims family.

It's Dicey.

The Skim Squad.

Yeah.

No, that's good American Squad.

Yeah.

What is a Skim crew called?

There is no.

It should be called the Skim Squirrelies.

Yeah, but there's not

an evergreen crew.

No.

Okay.

It's very of the moment.

So those were the fast five stories.

Those felt like 11 stories, but like all of them noteworthy.

I guess it was like technically eight, if you count Lindsey Lohan, and the divorce is being two.

Yeah.

Well, you know what?

There was a lot going on today.

Yeah.

It had to be done.

And it's hard to count sometimes.

That's a thing.

This isn't the morning math, you know?

No.

Otherwise, young Sheldon would be hosting it.

What are your thoughts on Young Sheldon thus far?

I love him.

What are you up to?

Season two.

Me too.

I'm watching alongside with you.

She met the other prodigy,

which I was obsessed with.

I want more of that dynamic.

Paige is, she's not always on the show, but she's in episodes up until the current season.

She kind of goes down a dark path at one point.

Like, it's kind of, it's good.

Like, she's kind of crazy.

And I loved when the parents got together and the dad, George Sr., was like getting

for them like talking about their marital issues that the prodigy has caused.

The more you watch, the more you see the best character on the show is George Sr.

Yeah, he's really great.

Yeah.

I really like it.

I'm so curious to see like how Sheldon takes a turn because you were saying...

You know, I'm watching alongside you.

And like even in season two, he becomes like really annoying and self-righteous.

And like he's obviously the smartest kid in every room that he's in.

And as a kid, you don't realize like the the power that it gives you, but he becomes like a preteen and a teen and he becomes like a fucking pain in the ass and he becomes rude.

Yeah.

And it's not cute when you're not a kid and you're like not cute.

Exactly.

Like, did you get to the episode where there's a girl in the town who's in a car accident?

Yeah.

And it really shakes the whole neighborhood.

This is what I watched.

And then immediately after they get the call, he's like, can you take me to radio show?

So, right.

And it's so rude, but like, he's still a kid.

So you're like, okay, whatever.

But that sort of energy, that's the exact energy he has when he grows up and he's not cute anymore.

Yeah.

And you're older, like, you should know better.

When you're a kid, you're not in tune with

social cues, just like me, apparently.

Right.

Right.

So glad you're enjoying it.

I knew you would.

It's camper tested, counselor approved.

Yeah, it's so camper.

So today was kind of a fabulous episode.

A lot going on.

Thanks for making it to the end.

If you haven't yet, head over to spiritsociety.com slash Clausen Pickles, C-L-A-U-S-S-E-N pickles.

Our collab, Pickle Wine, is here, and it's really good.

You'll have to see my taste test.

When are you posting it?

Whenever I feel like it.

Today?

Yeah.

We have a lot of pre-scheduled content.

Like we had a bunch of photo shoots.

I don't want to mess with the flow of the actual professionals.

Yeah.

Just another day you dropped the song.

So I'll send it to the photo shoot.

I'll send my content to the social team.

Is this the same photo shoot that you dropped yesterday?

No.

Oh, that's a Patreon joke.

So check out our Patreon that we just dropped at patreon.com slash the toast.

And while you're surfing the web, head over

to thecamperandthecounseler.com and pre-order your copy of the camper and counselor.

Signed copies are still available at Talk Shop Live.

You know what I'm doing right now?

Surfing the web.

Exactly.

And where are you going?

ThecamberntheCounselor.com and then patreon.com/slash the toast and then spritzsociety.com slash callsome pickles.

Wow, today was like a very healthy heavy, like self-promo day, but you know what?

Like, you see these lights?

They don't stay on by themselves.

No, and the lights are on.

Bright.

They're shining bright.

I'm starving.

Okay, let's see.

It's lunch.

Love ya.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast of Mill in the Morning Show where we deliver the fast five stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So you're watching this on YouTube.

Please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast and we're podcasts.

We found out Spotify, Dune, Stitcher, Public Radio, IRA, Cast Books, all the places we'll visit on podcasts.

Find us social CB5 star view about a beautiful setting and wickedly talented we are.

The sign-off hits different in studio.

Like, I'll say that.

I feel that.

And so does the love ya.

Bye.