Doven Head Deep: Thursday, June 15th, 2023

Good morning, Millennials, and welcome back to the Toast.

Happy, uh, what is it?

Thursday.

Oh, is that great?

Thank God.

Ugh, and it's an even better Thursday because this sexy piece of ass has joined me in the studio today.

It's true.

Hey, sexy piece of ass, how you dern?

I'm dern great, sexy piece of ass, how you dern?

I'm dern good.

It's my husband, the one and only Ben Soffer, boy with no job, host of the Good Guys Podcast, founder of Spritz Society.

How you dern?

It's a pretty good like list, you know?

Yeah, founder of Spritz Society, host of Good Guys Podcast, best friend to host of the Toast Podcast, Butler,

to host of The Toast Podcast.

Butler to host of the toast podcast.

Masseuse to host of the toast podcast.

Lover.

Lover.

Hey, sexy.

How you doing?

Hey, darling.

I'm doing great.

I was just complaining to you that I'm a little bit sore.

Yeah, no, and I can't, I never grow tired of hearing you complain.

It's our love language.

I don't know if anybody's noticed, but I am looking rather slender these days.

And do you think it has anything to do with your intramural alumni basketball league that started?

No, I think it has to do with the fact that I'm eating far less.

But after doing very limited physical activity over the last six months, I've

doven, divin?

Doven?

I dived.

No, it's dived, but past tense.

Doven?

What are you trying to say?

I've doven head deep.

Interesting, right?

I've dived head deep.

I dived head deep previously.

What?

You know what I mean?

Are we speaking English?

No, I'm just saying doven.

What?

I've doven head deep.

Into basketball.

What's head deep?

Isn't that a thing?

You dive head first.

I think it's head deep.

No, what the hell is head deep?

I've dove head first.

Is it not headstrong?

Sure, no, keep, just get the sentence out.

Into basketball again.

Most of you don't know, but I am just an unbelievable player.

I wouldn't say you're an unbelievable player.

I would say you're an unbelievable shooter.

Ben's like this, you know, firecracker.

You know, they toss him the ball.

He's behind the three.

And most of the time, you hit those threes really well.

But I've been to a lot of your games, and I always say, like, if you were on my team, I would hate you.

You never run back to play defense.

Yes, I do.

You never pass.

You just wait in like your spot for somebody to throw you the ball.

And sometimes they do and you shoot it.

But if not, like you're useless to the team.

And I think some of the members of your intramural league would agree with me.

Well, I went into an an intramural league today.

I have a charity basketball tournament.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about tonight.

Big Vision.

Look it up, donate, great cause.

And so, like, I'm really just like playing a lot.

And then all of a sudden, I'm laying in bed and I'm like, holy shit, my whole body hurts.

Yeah.

My back, my legs, my arms.

Yeah.

And part of you thinks, Am I dying?

Like, is this some kind of rare disease that has all of a sudden entered my body?

Like, that is making me like have atrophy and lose everything.

And all of a sudden, I'm wasting away, and you're just going to wake up and look next to me and I'm gonna be dead.

God forbid by tongue by tongue.

But then

I remember that I'm playing basketball and I haven't done that.

So more likely than not, the soreness is coming from basketball, not from a rare disease.

You never know.

You never know.

Now let's dive in.

Let's dove in first.

That was so dumb.

No, that was.

What's wrong with that?

That was embarrassing.

Was it?

No, no, no.

What about, like, there's nothing with dove in?

Let's dive into your first game.

So, I

sometimes go to your intramural league games because, you know, you guys are a bunch of old guys.

And I think, like, oh, maybe some of the other wives will be there.

Where the fuck are these wives?

Nobody ever comes.

Every time I go, I feel like such a loser.

I'm not coming anymore.

Like,

where's the support?

There were no wives.

There's no support.

Everyone on your team is like old, and you guys lost because you were playing to like a bunch of young guys.

Yeah.

So I figured like everyone on your team has a wife or a girlfriend or a fiancé.

And like, where the hell were they?

No clue.

They're not supportive.

Therefore, I'm not supportive.

Nowhere to be seen.

seen nowhere to be seen but yes first game we unfortunately lost we could have won we should have won how much did you lose by I think we ended up losing by 16 at one point so close at one point we were down by 30 but then we had cut it to 10 and we were right there we called the timeout like game plan we're like what do you say in that huddle like are you the type of guy who like inspires others or you get inspired by another I would try.

I would be the one inspiring, but I'm not like, as you mentioned, like a good enough all-around player to really comment comment on all facets of other people's games.

You can't say like, Andrew, do this.

Exactly.

You'd need the person who is a more well-rounded player is able to opine on others'

potential fallance.

Performance, exactly.

So no, that's not me.

I'm typically being spoken to, and then I will chime in and give like a good chant.

Yeah, no, like a good piece of advice, and then we'll all come out.

So we're down 10.

We go into the huddle.

We're like, all right, we're right here.

We fought back one play at a time.

Let's just, let's get it done.

Timeout's over.

Go out.

All of a sudden, immediately, somebody turns over the ball.

They score.

Turn over the ball.

Yeah, well, you took a timeout.

You took a timeout and you gave the young kids a chance to like drink a powerade and, you know, maybe take an Adderall.

And of course.

All I got to say is that for an intramural league,

so unfair.

This team, none of their regular players, first of all, none of them went to the school.

Neither did you.

Yes, but I've been playing in it for 10 years.

Oh, wow.

I can't believe you brought that up.

I wasn't going to bring it up, but now that you brought it up,

it's called Rail, Ramaz Alumni Intramural League.

Ramaz is the school that I went to.

Great.

It is not the school that Ben went to.

It's a school that most of his friends went to, and they let him play in the league like 10 years ago, so now he plays.

But for you to sit there.

For 10 years.

For you to sit there and complain that members on the other team are not alumni when you yourself, oh, and you're not even playing in your own alumni league.

Hail

special alumni night.

I am.

They can't get their shit together.

They're literally, the gym isn't even open until mid-July.

The summer will be over.

You, I cannot believe you just complained.

Let me explain.

Let me explain.

There's a difference between not going to the school, but also not even being in the league.

These kids, none of them, they were all subs.

There was one kid, one kid on the team that was the representative of that team.

Wait, let me know.

Let me just say something.

I'm not sure who's on your team, but Andrew Haft did not go to Ramaz.

Who else is on your team?

Jordan.

Okay, Jordan went to Ramaz.

I don't remember the others' names, but they're lovely, and none of them went to Ramaz.

None of them went to Ramaz.

You are such a hypocrite.

No, but look, listen to me.

You took one thing.

You took one thing.

Okay, fine.

Finish your sentence.

It's also about if you're in the league or if you aren't, right?

There's subs because everybody, you know, is working and some nights you just can't make.

Of course, of course.

So you're allowed to pull a sub, right?

And the sub doesn't have to formally be in the league they just need to be friends with kids that are in the league this kid pulled five subs and all of the subs were 20 21 years old my god could they leap yeah

it was just they were too fast so who's too slow who's the best player on your team that game

probably me oh my god no i'm i'm serious no for real who's probably me it should it should be andrew yeah

I think he would admit.

Andrew's tunking up.

I think he would admit that that game, it was probably me.

And I wasn't that great either.

I can tell you by far who was the worst.

I need to talk to the other person.

Jordan.

Jordan was the worst.

I need to talk to the other members on your team to just kind of verify if you were, in fact, the best player.

Because you come home from golf and you're like, oh my God, I crushed it.

No, I go also come home from golf and tell you that I played terribly.

Yeah, but like.

You are gaslighting this entire community.

I'm just saying, I don't think you're an accurate, like, representative.

You're not an accurate historian to retell the story of what happened on Monday night.

It's possible that I am a bit jaded.

Yeah, no, and like, of course, like, you should think you're the best.

You are the best.

No, I know.

I'm just saying.

Like, in reality.

I think in reality for that game, I was probably the best.

Okay.

How many points did you score?

Nine.

Nine.

Maybe 12.

Nine.

Nine.

Maybe 12.

Yeah, okay.

So it's nine, it's twelve, it's three, you know?

I'm just saying we only scored 36.

That's pretty good.

How bad could it be?

How many did the other score team score?

79.

Maybe like 70.

Well, I'll be sure to keep all the toasters abreast on the comings and and goings of your intramural league because it's honestly hilarious.

What a term, a breast.

Abreast.

I'm just saying, like.

You know, actually, we had a deer toasters yesterday that really stumped Jackie and I.

I'd like to get your take on it, if you don't mind.

Please.

So a girl had written in that, you know, she has a boyfriend who she loves, whatever, and he opened up to her that he's really self-conscious about his nipples.

He has like puffy nipples.

And, you know, I actually had heard of that before.

It's like not the craziest thing.

Is he fat?

No, he just has puffy nipples.

Got it.

He's like a skinny.

Right.

You know.

Was he ever fat?

No.

She didn't bring it up, and I think it would have been relative, but it doesn't matter, okay?

But he has puffy nipples.

No, no, no, no, there's a huge difference.

If you are just like a skinny man, born skinny, always skinny, and you have puffy nipples, I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Like, that's bad.

Like, you don't, you don't deserve that.

Yeah.

But plenty of formerly fat people turn skinny will just keep the nipples from their past life to remind them that they were once fat.

Let's say for argument's sake, like weight wasn't an issue, okay?

So he's always been skinny and has puffy nipples.

Yeah.

And it really got to a point recently where it started bothering him.

So he found these like bandages that you put on and it really makes your nipples look normal in shirts.

So she's so happy for him.

But when they're being, when they're like getting intimate,

he has to like kind of rip them off before they start.

And it's like really ruining the moment for her and like the mood.

And she's like, do I bring it up to him or do I just like, what do I do?

And we were really stumped because like, you know, her sexuality is, you know, a priority.

But if she says to him, like, you know, you ripping off your nipple bandages like is really a turn off, this guy who's just been open and vulnerable about something he's self-conscious about, like, will that crush him?

So my advice was to get over it.

Jackie's advice was to like busy herself while he's taking off the nipple bandages, you know, like maybe light a candle, maybe, you know, suggest shower sex so that before you even get in the shower, he has to rip the band-aids off.

But I'm curious what you think, what your take is.

I don't know enough about the specifics with these nipple bandages.

Over the page.

No, no, I'm not talking about the specifics of his history with weight fluctuations.

I'm talking about the nipple bandages themselves.

As I think about ripping off a nipple bandage, that makes it seem like it's a significant adhesive.

That would only make the nipples more puffy.

So eventually he's going to have like one of the longest nipples ever because you're just slowly ripping, ripping, ripping, ripping, ripping.

No, Ben, facts.

So one, I think that you should bring up if it's really that serious of an adhesive, that you don't think that this is the best solution for the problem because you love him and and want him to always feel confident and you don't want his nipples to get puffier.

From there, you can transgress to recommending nipple surgery.

Is that the right word?

Nipple transgression?

Transition.

Not transgressing.

You can transition into talking.

Transition to talking about nipple surgery.

If this is something that bothers him enough, just do quick snip snip.

I'm sure it's like an easy solve.

It's like a breast reduction.

Yeah, exactly.

Deep puff him.

Yeah.

Or maybe you can use an ice roller.

Skinny confidential.

Skinny confidential.

You should use it for puffy nipples.

But I think that's like a good,

right?

I mean, I don't know if we need to jump to surgery, but I do think your point about perhaps this not being the best course of action.

I'm saying that's the easiest way for her to bring it up because she's bringing it up not because it's something that's not sexy to her in the bedroom, but she's bringing it up because

out of concern for him.

No, that's good.

And it's valid.

So I would go that route.

And also, now that I'm thinking about it,

is this that common of a problem?

So I think like or is it like or is like boob tape for girls that he's just using for his nips?

No, so I actually there is like a male condition where

we're not about weight where you have like almost like breasts kind of

you have like a you have a puffy breast.

I have a puffy nipple too.

Yeah, but

you're say it.

Say it.

Sure, okay, because yours is so clearly associated with your weight.

When your weight fluctuates, so do your breasts.

Some people literally have it, I don't know what it's called.

I think it starts with a G.

It's like an actual male condition.

And I believe that's what this young gentleman has.

And I'm sure he's self-conscious about it, which is why I told her just to get over it.

No.

No.

He's got to fix it.

Otherwise, he'll always be self-conscious about it.

Yeah.

I also would like to know the physical physique of this man.

I know we spoke about the weight piece, but is he in the gym?

Like, is he lifting?

Because I think that puffy nipples can be

counteracted by just like

strong pets.

Weight training.

You'd think, or go to a doctor.

Don't, I,

in closing, don't put a strong adhesive on a puffy nipple and then rip them off every night after bed.

You're just going to make them longer and then you're going to have to tuck them into your shoes.

In closing,

that was funny.

You know, We're going to get into the stories.

And

before we do, I just want to really commend you.

You know, you're really, you're a podcaster now.

Yes.

How long have you been doing good guys now?

Has it been a year?

No.

Coming up on a year?

No.

Okay.

Nine months?

That's coming up on a year.

Eight months.

That's coming up on a year.

You are so

like every time we podcast together, you get so much better.

Like you're being so funny.

Thank you very much.

I can't recommend good guys enough.

I talk about good guys all the time.

If you guys don't know, my husband Ben hosts a podcast on our podcast network called Good Guys with Ben Soffer and Josh Peck.

Josh Peck, who we all know and love, former vlog squad member, cast member of the iconic hit show Drake and Josh.

He's now in How I Met Your Father.

And you guys are just like two Jewish kings.

You sit around and talk about food.

Yep.

And I love it.

I listen every week.

Thank you.

And you're really, you're becoming so much more of a skilled podcast host.

Thank you very much.

And I love having you.

Thank you for being here.

I appreciate it.

And yes, Good Guys is really fun.

We have a lot of interesting guests on, too.

You got a big one coming up.

We do.

We do have a really, really big one, which I'm excited about.

Can't talk about, but we just had Sophia Franklin on.

She was really fun.

You guys should have fun.

We had Hillary Duff.

Ben had Tana Mojo.

They literally get like such things.

John Stamos.

John Stamos, because Josh is really part of the Hollywood network.

No, I mean, Josh literally could just snap his fingers and get an amazing guest.

No, it's so true.

Yeah.

And like, it's huge.

It's huge.

It's huge.

You guys really are, you know, you both bring something to the table.

You bring your puffy nipples.

Exactly.

And he brings Hollywood guests.

But our one-on-one episodes are really great, too.

So if you haven't listened to Good Guys, give it a shot.

Go back.

They do video.

They do video.

Go to Josh's YouTube channel.

Yes.

Josh Peck's YouTube channel is where you can find our videos.

Shall we?

Yeah.

Anything else you want to say or kind of defend yourself on?

You know, I come on this podcast on a daily and talk about our marriage.

And I think maybe sometimes you feel like I'm not giving you a fair treatment.

So is there anything you want to come on and defend yourself on?

I haven't really heard anything recently that has made me fired up.

So if there's anything that you want to make me aware of that you've been saying.

Well, we did have a conversation about Pizzagate.

Oh, at Mezzaluna.

Yeah.

This is again like, just like a non-issue.

Okay.

You said, I want pizza.

I said, I don't want to have pizza.

You said, but I really want pizza.

Will you have some pizza?

And it's like, if I'm trying not to eat pizza and you're trying to force me to eat pizza, is that a good friend?

Okay, again, not what happened.

So a good friend like me will say, okay, I'll have the pizza.

So a good friend will lie.

Because I knew that you just wanted a slice anyways.

And what's the difference?

We ordered the pizza.

You had your slice.

I didn't have my slice, that's it.

Okay.

That's not what happened, but sure.

Sure.

Are you ready?

I'm ready.

All right, let's dive into the fast five stories that you need to know.

Go.

I'm waiting.

For what?

For crunch.

You have to do the crunch.

Yeah, but it's to take a bite at No?

We don't do that anymore.

You don't?

Oh, I'm living in the past.

Yeah, okay, I'll do it again, right?

Yeah.

Here are the fast five stories that you need

to.

I didn't say it.

No.

Oh, God, totally botch at Puffy Nipples.

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Today's episode is also brought to you by Sephora.

We all know and love Sephora.

It is the go-to place for beauty, and it is also the go-to place for clean beauty.

So Jax has, you know, been on this health, clean, girly kick, and she's actually really got me inspired, especially about things that I put in my face, like so close to my eyes, my nose, my mouth, my ears, all my orifices.

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Okay, are you ready for our first story?

Um, a little sports news, but it's like sports real housewives adjacent, so it's really perfect for us.

Marcus Jordan is defending his girlfriend, Larsa Pippen, against accusations of her being a gold digger.

Larsa Pippen and her boyfriend, Marcus Jordan, appeared on an upcoming episode of a Page Six podcast during which the couple dispels myths about their headline-making relationship, including speculation that the reality TV star is gunning for the Jordan family fortune.

So

this is what Lars said.

I feel like the money thing is annoying.

And then he said, yeah, I feel like people try to say Lars is a gold digger and she's after the Jordan family money or something.

She's such an independent, career-driven woman.

She's got it going on.

It's the one comment or commentary that I've got to refrain from commenting back on.

Okay, so I actually don't think Larx is a gold digger.

Like if you watch Girl Housewives, you know, she literally makes like millions of dollars a month on OnlyFans.

She's also like a successful successful reality star.

She has a jewelry line.

Like, I think she's doing fine.

And she actually just actually recently filed, finalized her divorce from Scotty Pippen.

They actually, you know, this whole time weren't legally divorced.

I didn't.

And on this real season, season of Real Housewives in Miami, she signs the

paperwork, but her and Scotty have like an amazing relationship.

She,

they still have young kids.

She's doing fine financially.

I'm sure Scotty, and she married Scotty way before.

And I don't believe they had a prenup.

I was going to say, I don't understand.

There are a lot of things that you could call her in this situation.

Yeah.

Gold digger doesn't really make sense to me because it's also assuming that Michael Jordan, who is just known as being not only like the fiercest competitor on planet Earth, but somebody that is very protective of his money.

His money.

Like, his money's his money.

Yeah, he's not money.

Why the hell would that be Larsa's money?

Yeah, no, but like Larsa should know that in all likelihood she marries Michael's son and there is a monster prenup.

Yeah.

Like, there's not like, she's gold digging to a rich guy's son.

Like, can't be the first person to, like, that she would think of.

Yeah, that's just, that's just not the right person to gold dig from.

And I really think, like, at its core, like, Larsa does not need money.

Like, I think Larsa is extremely well off.

Sure, but I'm saying, regardless, even if she wasn't, she would be bumping up.

That accusation doesn't make any sense.

But I do feel like this relationship is so weird.

I was going to say, you could say that they're headline hunting.

Yeah.

You could say that they're looking to be in the news, PRable, stir up some drama, because

there are literally 7 billion people on Earth that would be less weird to date than Michael Jordan's son.

Right.

How did they even meet?

Well, they're in the basketball world.

Like the fact that they know.

By the way, they've probably met like for years.

I'm sure they've known each other since he was a kid, which makes it even weird.

Even weirder.

Her ex-husband and his dad are what, teammates?

Legendary teammates.

right from the bulls yeah that's like the documentary and when he had the flu yeah when he had the flu well that's one flu game yeah yeah but like that was the team yeah six championships that's weird yeah so like it's very possible like when celebrating one of the championships marcus jordan was like 11 maybe even younger right how old is he i don't know but yes how many years ago did they win the uh champion the last championship i think 96.

Marcus Jordan is 32 years old.

So how many years ago?

Shut up.

How many years ago did they win the championship?

So he was like six.

That's disgusting.

Like that's what really everyone should be talking about, not the gold digging.

And so I'm sure they celebrated.

I'm floored.

He's 32.

And how old is Larksa?

I believe she's about 50, which like doesn't sound that.

No, the problem again is not the difference in age.

It's the difference in age to when they definitely met.

Right.

Okay, ready here.

So she's 48, he's 32.

That's really not that crazy.

No,

in normal life, it's not that crazy.

But in 1997,

which is when they won the championship.

The last one, okay, in 97.

She was married to Scotty.

Yes.

They got married that year.

Yes.

So how old would that make?

If he's 32.

If he's 32 and that was 25 years ago.

And that was 26 years ago?

He was six.

He was six.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And she definitely met him.

Yeah, because they were celebrating, right?

Families, kids and wives come.

Yep.

That's weird.

That is what's weird.

And there were so many rumors about their relationship.

And for like, like a year ago, and they were like, no, we would never, like, we're just friends.

And now they're out here, like, promoting a podcast.

They're fully, like, not engaged.

Sorry, they're fully engaging in a relationship.

So they like lied.

And it's like, what does he do?

That's an amazing question.

I'm sure he like runs some sort of like family business.

Marcus Jordan job.

Oh, he's a basketball player.

Oh.

He went to University of Central Florida.

Well, he's not a current basketball player because he's 32 and I don't think he plays.

He went to UCF.

Yeah.

He discontinued the game in 2012 and then went to graduate with a degree in hospitality management.

So now.

Oh, cool.

So maybe his arrests are untoured.

Perhaps.

Unclear.

What is clear is that Larsa Pippen is not gold digging.

Yeah, yeah.

But I don't entirely understand what she is doing.

Me neither.

But now they have a podcast together.

They're kind of like us, like two, you know, podcasters in love.

They're just like us.

We're the same.

We're the same as them.

100%.

I mean, you are three years older than me.

Two.

I don't know.

I'm 28 and you're 31.

For like another week.

Yeah, shut up.

You're 31 and I'm 28.

So I think my math, that's three years.

Yeah, but like for another week.

Yeah, no, because I'm 28.

I'm so young.

For like another

three weeks.

Yeah, because I'm 28.

It's true.

You're kind of like cradle robbing, kind of like a baby.

I did cradle rob.

Yeah, big time.

You were like a big nigga.

When I was two and a half, I came in with my big nips.

You definitely had big nips as a baby.

For sure.

All right, should we get into some more lover news?

Sure.

Shakira has found herself in a messy love triangle with two A-list celebrities, Lewis Hamilton and Tom Cruise, who appears to be losing clearly.

So, as you know, she's now single.

She had a very bitter divorce from her ex,

Gerard Peake, who's a player for Barcelona soccer.

So, now the singer has been spotted with Lewis Hamilton on a number of occasions, but it also looks as though Hollywood actor Tom Cruise could also be a dating option for Shakira amid rumors that they have met another a number of times.

So, Lewis Hamilton and Shakira were seen on a boat together at the Miami Grand Prix.

They went to dinner together at his house in Barcelona last weekend.

They were also seen partying together at a bunch of different places.

So, they're understood to be like having a fun and flirty moment.

But the Mission Impossible actor is also reportedly in the picture.

Tom was flirting with the Colombian-born singer before she started dating Lewis Hamilton and is now said to be frustrated with having discovered that she is also dating F1 legend Lewis Hamilton.

The Hollywood actor Tom Cruise believed that he had incredible chemistry with Shapira.

Shapira.

I call...

Okay, sorry.

Never mind.

With Shakira.

I was going to say Shapiro.

Of course.

With Shakira.

He had incredible chemistry and taking it as a slam dunk that they'd be dating in no time.

His close pal has confirmed that the actor's ego has been dented after hearing that Shakira had rejected his advances and instead chosen a potential romance with...

Tom Cruise's actual friend, Lewis Hamilton.

Who, where was that article written?

Everywhere, but I took it from the mirror.

They had the best, like, I'm more just curious, like, who, who did Tom Cruise talk to?

Those are like some big quotes.

It was from a friend of his, but it was picked up everywhere.

And you know what?

Like, there were rumors, like, a little while ago that Shakira and Tom Cruise were, like, seen out together, yada, yada.

And then very quickly, she's like everywhere with Lewis Hamilton, who's a much better match for her, by the way.

For sure.

And I'm sure Tom Cruise is like, I'm the big man in Scientology.

Like, Tom Cruise, in his own mind, is a legend.

You know, he's like the number one guy in Scientology.

In the real world, he's like short and old.

and I don't think he's really that hot except for like his money, if I'm being honest.

Interesting.

You don't know movie career.

What?

No movie career.

No movie career?

Like you don't like you just think of Tom Cruise as Scientology.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Yeah, I think we all, I think, and I think we all should.

Okay, cool.

He's like a deeply problematic person.

So having said that, I'm sure Shakira, you know, she, her ex cheated on her, and it was like this big, messy divorce.

So I'm sure she immediately just like wanted to be outspotted with like famous people to like rub it in his face and like get her groove back.

So I'm sure someone was like, yeah, Tom Cruise wants to go on a date with you.

She's like, yeah, sure, whatever.

So to be clear, Tap Gun, nothing.

No, like, Tap Gun's cool, but like, Tom Cruise is like a short king.

He's like deeply entrenched in a lot of problematic behavior when it comes to Scientology.

He's like the number one funder of Scientology.

Like, is he?

Yeah.

He's like the president and CEO.

He's responsible for getting like so many celebrities involved.

Like, he's so problematic.

Sounds like a good recruiter.

Yeah.

So having said that, I'm sure Shakira went and like it was fine.

And he thought like, oh, I'm going to find my next queen, Mai Reina.

You know, that's probably what he thought.

And then she was like, okay, this guy's a freak.

And Lewis Hamilton was an option.

I just feel like Lewis Hamilton and her are so much better matched.

For sure.

Like in every way.

In every way.

Agreed.

And they're on the same level.

Like, she's really a global superstar.

He is really like a global superstar.

It's just like, is this...

Did this loose-lipped friend of Tom Cruise also mention that he thought that they were exclusive?

It sounds like Tom Cruise, you know, he's old school.

He's 60.

He went out like on maybe on a date and he's 60.

Really?

Yeah.

Look great in Top Gun.

He did.

60?

Tom Cruise is 60.

Lewis Hamilton is 38.

And Shakira is 46.

So she's right in the middle of them.

So of course she's going to go for like the younger, more famous like global superstar.

Yeah.

It's like not even a person.

But I'm sure Tom Cruise is like crying in his Hollywood mansion.

He's used to everyone in Scientology just like, yes, sir, yes, sir, yes, sir.

And you know what?

I can't imagine anyone in the world would want to go on a date with Tom Cruise after he see, after they see like what it's like for Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes.

They were both married to Tom Cruise.

You know that Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise have kids together.

Okay.

They were born into Scientology.

Nicole Kidman was in Scientology and she I think came came to the conclusion on her own that this was a severely fucked up cult and she left and her children still do not speak to her really because you become a sh an SP shunned person wow yeah they don't talk to her holy crap and then and then you know

she's married to Keith Urban yeah Keith Urban writes a song you know what kind of man doesn't let his sons see his mother you know it's like it's a whole thing wow and then Katie Holmes was with him had a kid surre cruise born into Scientology Katie Cruz had to get out She got her and Surrey, they both got out.

Oh, they both got out.

Thank God.

Yeah.

And now we're kind kind of having like a renaissance of Katie Holmes.

She's like, she took a lot of time off.

She did not like the public eye.

And now she's like out and about.

She was dating this guy.

Like, I'm happy for Katie Holmes.

Good.

Yeah.

So I get all is that to say, I'm sure, you know, Shakira went out with Tom Cruise because it sounded like a fun idea.

She took one look around and was like, I'm out of here, bitch.

As he says, it doesn't sound like a fun idea.

She clearly didn't have all of the information that you have.

She clearly didn't watch Leah Remini's AE special on Scientology.

I clearly didn't either.

You didn't?

Oh my God.

It's crazy.

They like hunt her down.

I think maybe I watched like a little bit of it.

It's really good.

But then you finished it.

Yeah.

You know?

It's called, there's a few, but the good one is on HBO called Going Clear.

Going clear means, you know, in Scientology, you have to like pay.

It's like literally a cult.

And you like join a level and you pay.

And you keep going up levels, levels of the Sea Org.

That's what it's called.

You have to pay for each level?

Yeah.

It's like fraudulent.

Wow, that's crazy.

And when you get to like the highest level, which very few people do, it's called going clear.

You've like reached peak existence.

And that's what freaks like, you know, John Travolta and Tom it's also money all money it's it's really a money thing in at every level you pay more money but it's a religion so it's like a tax exempt money thing it's like it's a pretty good scheme they got going very interesting yeah but like people go missing if you keep up with Leah Remini on Twitter Twitter Shelly

Miscovage she's like you know the wife of one of the head guys and she's been missing for six years oh man it's very dark

so all that to say I don't know if Tom Cruise is that eligible as of a bachelor yeah I can't imagine that being something you want to get into no

no No.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yes.

We had some love news.

Now we have some bitter divorce news.

So you know our king, John Dutton, Kevin Costner.

Yes.

Is going through a bitter divorce.

Terrible.

And I think.

Who divorced too?

I think she was the one who filed, but that doesn't really mean anything.

Yeah.

But, you know, it's having an effect on Yellowstone.

He hasn't showed up for filming in like months.

Really?

Because he's so sad.

You know the season we most recently watched?

Of course.

They took like a mid-season finale.

Oh, I forgot.

They still haven't filmed that second half of the season.

Because he won't show up.

He won't show up.

There's like a lot of things.

We don't actually know what's going on.

They haven't said anything, but I do believe it's pretty much confirmed that this will be the final season.

Just

when we started watching it.

I love that show.

But you know, they have all the other shows, 1883, 1929.

Yeah, you watch all of them without me, right?

Yeah, and they're doing another one.

You knew how much I loved Yellowstone, and you watched all of them without me.

They're doing two more that I'll save for you because they're both linked to Yellowstone.

The first is called The Sixes.

You know that farm where they sent Jimmy?

Yes.

So that farm.

I have honestly no interest.

Oh, I can't.

That farm is boring.

Yeah, because we don't know anything about it.

No, come on.

That's like the random Texas farm where he meets that woman and he's milking cows.

Yeah, then there's another spin-off coming with Matthew McConaughey, which sounds good.

Yeah.

All right, all right, all right.

But so here's the details of Kevin Costner's divorce.

His ex-wife, or whatever you want to call her, I mean, I got the Daily Mail, like, move.

I can't see the headline.

We should kill them.

No, like, okay, estranged.

I literally can't.

I have to sneeze.

Sneeze.

You can't just move your microphone.

Somebody that needs to sneeze.

Kevin Costner's estranged wife, Christine.

Oh my God, remains at their $145 million coastal California compound as she refuses to leave the property after following the divorce filing in violation of their prenup.

So, Christine Baumgardner, she was the one who filed for divorce from Kevin Costner last month.

The actor is now saying that she has remained in his home to persuade him to give in to various financial demands.

He said he has given her a million, $1.45 million to relocate under the prenup terms that they agreed to.

So the Oscar-winning actor has this prenup that basically says she has a 30-day period to move out of the house that he owns, but she ain't leaving.

She's using it as leverage.

Like, bitch, you want me out?

I want more.

Because in their prenup, it says he'll give her $1.45 million to relocate, which I don't know, you can't really go from living in an $150 million house to $1.4 million.

$150 million?

That's how much their house, I think that's like their main house in California.

Sorry if you read that.

I was trying to sneeze, but you said, why don't you just go sneeze?

And

everybody knows that if you say to somebody that's trying to sneeze, just sneeze, they won't sneeze.

And now I have the sneeze stuck in me and it will never come out again.

Okay, your life is.

So $150 million main house

in Montecito.

And the prenup says, here's $1.5 million.

Go fuck yourself.

Right.

Like, you have to go leave my house.

Yes, and go find a studio.

Accommodation.

Sure.

Okay.

Yeah, they live in an $150 million house in Montecito

yeah

and she won't leave and I kind of love that for her

what do you do with a hundred and fifty million dollar house I just want to say something kind of crazy I don't want it is that what you were gonna say too big

too big that that's the thing montecito is a very you know expensive area I'm gonna show you this house it's from an aerial view you would think it's like this palatial estate with acres and acres and acres It's a beach house.

So, you know, beach houses, especially in California, are all lined up next to each other.

That's the house.

Does that look like a $150 million house?

No.

I know.

Isn't that shocking?

It looks like 12.

Yeah.

It's like super close to the two houses next to it.

It's like a classic beach house.

I mean, he has beach access and he has beach views, which makes it, you know, a more valuable property.

$150 million?

Isn't that crazy?

I don't believe it.

I think they took the wrong picture.

No.

There's literally a million pictures of this house.

It just doesn't look that big.

If you had $150 million, like, what kind of property are you buying first?

I'm not buying.

Oh, I was going to say, I'm not buying a property.

I'm buying 10.

But where?

Like, you're going to do a mountain house, a beach house.

Mountain house and a beach house.

And a city house.

And an international house.

Where international?

Such a good question.

Probably like BVIs,

something like that.

All the wealthy people are.

Or Turks.

Turks.

Maybe something in Israel.

Nice.

But like you really, with $150 million to spend on real estate, you're going to put it into one house.

I know.

I mean, I think Kevin Costner has way more than $150 million.

He also has this incredible estate in, I believe, in Colorado that's very Yellowstone-y.

And at first, when they were getting divorced, that house was like the scene of the crime.

And now she won't leave that one.

It's just so weird.

Yeah, I feel like Kevin Costner is like going through some sort of midlife crisis because he's kind of being a dick.

He's not showing up for work.

He's kicking his wife, who probably, you know, they have three kids.

The youngest, I think, is 13.

So he's probably, you know, taking care of the kids.

He's kicking her out, you know, he's kind of being a dick.

I feel like he's going through some sort of midlife crisis.

Like he was really, really famous when he was young.

Then I feel like he, you know, became like a legend, but not, you know, A-list.

Now he's become A-list again.

Now he's become A-list again in the last five years because of

and I think he's becoming like a diva again.

That's kind of what I'm getting.

And maybe Christine, you know, they met at, you know, when he was kind of being Hamish and down to earth.

And now she's seeing a side of him she doesn't like.

And perhaps that's why she filed for divorce.

That's kind of how how I feel.

You know, I married you before good guys.

It's true.

And now you have this like big podcast.

And I definitely think that, like, you think you're too good for me.

I mean, it's literally how I feel.

I met you when you had literally nothing.

And I'm the same bitch I was.

No, please.

I am.

No, whatever.

No, you're definitely different.

Oh, I am?

Yeah.

Good guys has changed you.

Interesting.

So has Spritz.

Interesting.

You just kind of like, I think you think you've surpassed me and like you're ready for your next wife.

No, I mean,

that's just like not true.

I think it is.

No.

I think it is.

I do think, though, that I am much funnier than you give me credit for.

I forget who I was saying this to.

I think I've said this to you before.

It's such a shame that you decided to marry me.

Because if you married anyone else, you would immediately be like the funniest guy in every room.

But you're really just like irrelevant when I'm in the room.

I know.

Still the funniest person in all these rooms.

Even the rooms that I'm in?

Yeah.

No.

Pops.

You are a more tradition.

tradition.

You are a more pops.

I can never do stand-up.

I'm just saying in the room, quick jokes.

That's me, bro.

That's me.

Maybe.

And if you had married a simple girl, kick-a-k-k-a-atie, you know, it's very, it's a wonderful life.

I'm k-k-a k-k-katie.

But then I'm bored.

I know.

I'm saying, I'm not saying you should marry someone else.

Calm down.

I'm just saying, like, had you married someone else, oh my God, it would be like, that guy, Ben, he's so funny.

That's oh, so funny.

She wouldn't get my jokes.

She wouldn't get your jokes.

I get your jokes.

No.

But if you were to marry someone else.

I wouldn't.

What would you be looking for in a partner?

Hairy, white,

a little bit brown, white and brown,

great at licking.

Oh,

Theo.

Yes.

I was like, what are you saying?

I'm like, are you calling me Harry?

I think the word you meant was furry.

Hairy, he's hairy.

White and brown.

I was like, what the fuck?

That's a good one.

I know, because I'm funny.

Because you are funny.

Yeah, what are you?

Hysterical.

Yeah, whatever.

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So there was like a jeopardy clue given a few nights ago on Jeopardy and people on the internet were like freaking out that the person didn't know this answer to the riddle.

And I have the riddle and I just want to say I don't know the answer.

And I don't think it's that crazy that that person didn't know the answer.

And I'm curious if you know the answer.

Before you go into that, how do you not keep switching?

This is one thing about podcasting that I just can't do.

I can't sit without switching legs, crossing differently, more over cross, switch legs.

I've crossed and uncrossed my legs like four times.

I just don't talk about it.

So that's why it's not a big deal.

Oh, you have?

Yeah, you can keep moving your legs.

Nobody cares.

And nobody cares.

Quite literally, nobody cares, unless your shoe is in my frame.

Like, we won't get any comments about me moving my legs.

Well, now we will, because you brought it up.

Interesting.

You want me to cut that out?

No.

Okay.

All right, ready for this Jeopardy saga?

Sure.

One seemingly simple answer prompt has gotten three Jeopardy contestants in hot water with fans as they failed to correctly finish the Lord's Prayer.

The clue that had all three contestants stumped was: Matthew 6:9 says, Our Father, which art in heaven, this be thy name.

Art, Father.

Art.

Our Father who art in heaven, blank be thy name.

Our Father art in heaven.

Blank, let be thy name.

No.

Our Father which art in heaven, blank be thy name.

God?

No.

So I would have said like,

He I knew it started with an H, but like, I don't know.

It's like, hungum be thy name.

Holy?

Something like that.

The answer is hallowed.

And I think it's a part of like a very common, kind of popular, basic

New Testament vibe.

Was the person a New Testament reader?

Well, there were three contestants and nobody knew it.

And people on Twitter are like, how can all three adults who made it to contestants on this show not know at least the start of the Lord's Prayer?

Because maybe it's not their Lord.

Yeah, like maybe they're Jewish or Indian or Muslim, like literally anything.

Like not you being like so non-inclusive.

Yeah, I mean, like, Matthew is just not a book I've read.

No, say, sorry.

And by the way, they have religious.

Sorry, Matt.

They have religious

categories all the time.

And some of them are Jewish.

And like, people don't know it.

And I obviously do.

Like, it's not a big deal.

No, I don't know it.

No.

And honestly, I feel like the Jewish ones are the easiest ones because if you're Jewish and if you're like Christian or Catholic, you know Old Testament.

For sure.

It's included in your required reading as well.

Yeah.

Matt is exclusive.

Yeah, we don't know Matt.

Nope.

We don't see Matt.

I've never, I'm sorry to this man.

I don't know who this man is.

I don't know Matt.

So I didn't think it was that crazy.

It's not.

I just think it really shows how Anglo-Saxon our culture is.

Bastards.

Bastards.

But there have been like crazier.

Oh, by the way, who do you think is going to replace Pat Sajak?

Me.

No, for me.

I said this to you.

Yeah, Ben.

Wouldn't I make a great Wheel of Fortune host?

Give us an audition.

And now let's spin the wheel.

You literally look like a pedophile.

That's all I got.

That wasn't very good.

No?

And that's not even what Pat says.

And tonight we are giving away one new Jeep Cherokee.

Cherokee?

No?

No, that's also not what he says.

Okay.

It's not like his classic zingers.

What's the classic?

I don't know Pat Sajak's classic zingers.

All right.

We got a phrase up on the board.

Sally, you're first.

That was good.

That was good.

But now there's.

Is your name Sally?

There's always a contestant.

One of them could be named Sally.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, Vanna

is the bitch on the.

She's still there?

Yes.

She's staying.

I believe she's staying.

Go when?

I don't know, but she looks great.

No, but I'm just saying, like, Vanna and Pat.

It's the two of them.

I know.

She must be very upset at him.

Well, their rumors are now that Ryan Seacrest is in talks to take on Wheel of Fortune.

I know.

It's like so uninspired.

Like, it makes sense.

Yeah, especially because he just gave up live with Kelly.

So his hosting duties are like slimmed down.

He has the radio show.

He has American Idol.

I think he's exclusively doing things that film in L.A.

now because he was going back and forth between New York and LA.

It was like so toxic.

So I actually do think he has the.

Oh, is Wheel of Fortune filmed here?

No, I think it's filmed in LA.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

But that's a job you have for life.

And a good job.

Yeah.

Fun job.

High-paying job.

It should be Steve Harvey.

It should be Steve Harvey.

The king of game shows.

But this, why I think Steve Harvey and Ryan Seacrest are not the right people for it is because they're both known for so many other things.

Whereas like Pat Sajak was the Wheel of Fortune guy.

Like you need a guy who could commit his whole life or a girl, his whole life, his whole career.

So you want a no-name?

Not a no-name, but like a professional host who maybe we've seen before, but whose whole thing now can be Wheel of Fortune.

What about that guy from that show that popped up during COVID?

Scott Rogowski?

What about him?

What else does he do?

Nothing.

And he is probably my least favorite person we've ever had on the toast.

Oh, I forgot he was on the top.

He He was so rude to us.

Like, he got so famous from HQ and it clearly went to his head.

He was like such a dick.

Like, we literally started asking him questions on the podcast, and he's like, oh, you guys are nervous around me, right?

You're like, no.

What the hell?

We're like, you live in our phones.

What are you talking about?

Calm down.

So I think he burned fast and bright, you know?

Yeah, he's gone.

I think he's gone.

Hmm.

I still vote Steve Harvey.

I think it's a very good suggestion, but...

Imagine how much more fun it would be.

I know.

The way he could play with contestants.

But the thing is, he does that on Family Feud, and he does it so much.

He should do it on every show.

But he has to do it.

He should also do How I Who Wants to be a Millionaire.

He should also do Jeopardy.

He is Game Shows.

He is Game Shows.

And if you don't watch the Game Show Network, you should.

You don't watch a Game Show Network.

We have.

We have, but we don't even have the channel.

But we should.

I didn't know you eliminated it.

I didn't.

We went on vacation like three years ago, and the TV like only had GSN, and we loved it.

Love it.

We watched so many.

They have on Game Show Network, they obviously have like Family Feud.

No, they also have a lot of like turnt games.

Yeah, like weird ass shit.

And oh, you know who hosts a lot of shows on GSN who would be good for Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Who?

You mean Wheel of Fortune?

Yes, wait, what is that guy's name?

He's in Pitch Perfect.

He sits up at the mic with Elizabeth Banks.

Pitch Perfect.

He's like the MC.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

Yes, I do.

I don't know his name, though.

Okay, okay.

His name is John Smith.

Let me see a picture of him again.

He hosts a million shows on Game Show Network.

Yep, this guy.

Hold on.

You love this guy.

Oh, he would be great.

And he does game show hosting on Wheel of Fortune.

You're right.

Oh, John Smith would be great.

He would be great on Wheel of Fortune.

But speaking of Pitch Perfect, I also think if they're looking for a younger, more famous host, Adam Devine would also be a really good host.

Yeah.

But Adam Devine's really more of an actor now.

I know, but like he could do it.

Yeah, he could.

I think he's so funny.

I think he's a star.

He's great.

Have you seen his Netflix special?

No.

It was pretty good.

Yeah.

I'm happy you watched it without me.

Yeah.

All right, ready for our fifth and final story.

Storty.

Story.

It's a little international finance and e-commerce news.

Not e-commerce, international finance news.

Cool.

Beyonce is to blame for inflation in Sweden.

The 41-year-old music icon kicked off her renaissance world tour in Stockholm, Sweden on May 10th, and it is somewhat to blame for the rise of inflation in the country, according to senior economists at one of the top Nordic banks.

Quote, Beyoncé is responsible for the extra upside surprise this month.

It's quite astonishing for a single event.

We haven't seen this before.

From April to May, monthly inflation in Sweden increased 0.3 percentage points, data from statistics showed,

excuse me.

Partially due to a broad set of goods and services, for instance, hotel and restaurant visits and recreational services, which include concert tickets.

So Beyoncé started for her world tour in Sweden seems to have colored May inflation.

How much is uncertain, but probably between 0.2 and 0.3%

that hotels and restaurants added.

Perhaps also hyped up concert tickets, concert ticket prices as well.

I mean, this is not shocking.

There's a few concerts right now that are like rattling the local economy.

Who wrote that up?

The New York Coast.

This is like big news.

Yeah.

I was just talking about this with somebody else last night.

The Taylor Swift is so freaking famous and what she's doing is so unbelievable that Beyonce's on tour and nobody's talking about it.

I know.

Well, the thing is, is that Beyonce's tour started internationally.

So she's been to Sweden, she's been to Paris.

So they're probably talking about it there.

You think so?

But when Beyonce comes here, and then I think they actually, they plan tours at the same time.

Taylor hasn't gone international yet.

They're probably going to switch.

Interesting.

And Beyonce's tour will be like on the tip of everyone's moment.

And then when Taylor goes abroad, I think they spoke about it.

I think they definitely, maybe not like on the phone to each other, but I'm sure their teams coordinated.

There's only so many stadiums in America.

Yeah.

And, you know, Luke Holmes is on a stadium tour now, too, and Morgan Wallen was, but canceled.

So there's only summertime

is a hard time to get booked at a stadium.

Interesting.

Ed Sheeran is doing one too.

So it was actually pretty smart of Beyoncé to start abroad so she can have her own moment.

Interesting.

Because if you're doing a stadium tour right now, no one's talking about it because everyone's talking about Taylor.

The inflation piece, though, is interesting.

It makes perfect sense for things like hotels.

Well, you know, obviously somebody, some analyst did the data.

The Taylor Swift Era's tour this summer will generate $4 billion for the economy.

Wow.

You know, because everyone,

and every time Taylor goes to a city, she's boosting local restaurants, local hotels, local shops.

It's been really good for the economy.

And so all that together in every $4 billion added to the economy.

That's insane.

But like back to Beyoncé in Sweden, you're saying that local restaurants are raising their prices.

They're reprinting menus because Beyonce's coming.

They're reprinting menus?

Yeah.

No, you're saying that they raise it.

You said that they're raising their prices.

Hotels, it makes sense.

I didn't say they're raising their prices.

Oh, I thought that's what you said.

No,

I said that ticket prices are probably now hiked, but no, just the local people flocking to this town in Sweden, hitting up all the restaurants, shopping at all the shops.

I understand.

Okay.

That is what's contributing, and that's why it makes sense.

Makes sense.

There are very few artists who have such power that they actually influence local economies.

Beyonce is one of them, and Taylor Swift is definitely one of them.

That's why free agency in sports is so interesting, because if the, like when LeBron left Cleveland, their economy tanked.

Really?

Yeah, yeah.

For like a smaller town.

For a smaller town.

Yeah, I'm sure like LeBron's impact on LA was much smaller and different than his impact if he had gone to like, you know, the Charlotte Bobcats.

Yeah, absolutely.

And I'm sure it's the same exact thing with Taylor Swift.

When she came to MetLife, it probably didn't change New York, but when she went to Glendale.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And she's going to Pittsburgh this weekend.

Are you going?

I was thinking about it.

I've decided no, because nobody would come with me.

It's just too far.

Like, the fact that I know Pittsburgh is low-key, like, so hard to get to from New York, even though on a map, they're like super close to each other.

The fact that you came into our bedroom and said, let's go to Taylor Swift this weekend.

She's in Pennsylvania, and I'm here thinking, like, new hope.

I didn't say Pennsylvania.

You keep saying, I did not say Pennsylvania.

You did.

I did not say Pennsylvania because I think at my core, I don't really even know or acknowledge that Pittsburgh is in Pennsylvania.

It's not.

It's Don't State.

Right.

So I never would have said that.

I said Pittsburgh.

It's so far.

It's so far.

Like, I weirdly go there on every tour stop because like the toast is huge in Pittsburgh.

Woo!

And it's low-key, so inconvenient.

Like, I never want to go back.

There's so few flights, but you have to fly.

It's like an eight-hour drive.

Yeah, it's far.

It's so bizarre.

Well, those are the fast five stories.

We covered sports.

We covered finance.

We covered the economy.

What more could you ask for from a Buunge and Guunge episode?

You couldn't.

You couldn't.

I couldn't ask for more.

I'm so glad that we dove in headfirst.

Yeah, dove in.

We dove in headfirst.

No, we dove in...

Was it headfirst?

What was the other thing that I said?

Head deep?

We dove in head deep.

We dove in head deep.

We dove in head deep.

It doesn't even sound like English.

Dove in head deep?

Yeah.

I'm sure that you guys don't even need to say this because your podcast is just so huge.

But like, this is a five-star episode.

I agree.

Like, give it five stars.

You know, Jackie and I do acknowledge when we think like an episode is like really spectacular.

Give the episode five stars.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, share it with a friend.

You should share it.

It should be shared.

Share away.

And while you're at it, share Spurt Society with a friend.

Spiritsociety.com, code toast.

Always.

It'll discount for the summer.

Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast, The Millennial Morning Show, where we deal with the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

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Hope you guys have an amazing day.

Tomorrow's episode is Jackson Claude audio only, so don't miss it.

Love ya.

Bye.

Bye.