We've Been Stumped: Wednesday, June 14th, 2023

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Wednesday, everyone.

Hope you're all having a blessed and juicy and delicious and scrumptious hump day.

Speaking of scrumptious,

hey, Jax, how you dern?

I'm dern good.

Thanks for asking.

That's a really sensual intro.

Have you been watching too much of the idol?

I actually have not seen even one mere minute of the idol, and based on everyone's reactions, I feel as though I've made the right decision.

I was chuckling yesterday at your episode with the the satchel when you guys were going quote per quote.

Did you die?

I was dying.

Honestly, I'm like grateful that I had that story when Counselor was on because we can laugh about it.

You would have like not been okay if we had to say that.

Yeah, no, but I thought you guys said it really tastefully.

I understood the words that you were

meaning to say.

Skirting around.

Yeah.

I thought you guys handled it like a bunch of pros.

With grace and elegance, you would say?

With grace and elegance, but I would expect nothing less.

You know what was not graceful and elegant?

What?

The period talk, ladies.

Yeah, so we kind of go wild when you're out.

Like, all the rule, the rule book is thrown out the window when Jax is taking a day off, and that means we just go kind of crazy.

Yeah, it was a lot of period.

It actually, like, wasn't a lot of period.

Oh.

I hope the mic picked that up.

I hope the mic picked it up, too.

I think it did.

Screaming for mama.

Mama.

No, it wasn't a lot.

It was just like more than

what we do.

Listen, I probably say this on a monthly basis.

I feel like, I feel like you guys are like, if I never said anything about

talking about periods, like you wouldn't feel the need to talk about them, but it's because I told you you can't, that now you're like rebelling and it's like, oh, she's not here.

Let's talk about periods.

And I swear I say this once a month because that's how periods work.

But I do feel as though it's important when the listeners know that I am on my period.

Like if people are like, wow, Claudia was like kind of rude today.

Like, yeah, I'm on my period.

Thought all the way off.

That part I do understand.

Yeah, I just feel like when people know us as intimately as they do, spend an hour with us every day, if a couple days a month I'm like not being myself, there is an actual biological reason.

And to not let people know that is to not let them know the full story.

And that's not me being a transparent and authentic influencer.

You know what?

You're speaking facts.

I'm unconvinced.

You know, you ever get comments, people being like, were you okay today?

Like, no, bitch, I was on my period.

Okay.

Yeah,

yeah, not for me.

Like, I've had three periods in the last two years, but yeah.

So, funny enough, I was actually thinking about your menstrual cycle on my way to dinner last night, just thinking, like, how many periods has this bitch had in the last two years?

So, I had three periods.

I can't believe you brought me down to your level.

No, but you know what, Jackie?

We are a podcast that uplifts women.

And you know what?

Women get periods.

It's true.

Okay,

I had three periods in between pregnancies because I didn't get my period while I was breastfeeding.

Right, right, right.

Wow.

So you've had three periods in the last two years.

And that's why you get pregnant.

And that's how Sue sees it.

No, but I would say that the hormonal changes and bodily changes that come with pregnancy are much more extreme than just a letal period.

So when I hear bitches complaining,

when I hear bitches complaining, I'm like, sure.

Sure.

Sure.

Listen, you know, all of our problems are problems, you know?

Are valid.

Are valid, yes.

Yeah.

I went to a fabulous restaurant last night, like a new hotspot in town.

It was so cute.

It was so good.

It was called Teresi.

And it was just like a gorgeous night out in NYC.

I really felt like Carrie Bradshaw like running around in my kitten heels.

Were you wearing kitten heels?

I was wearing like a like a block sandal.

So yeah, they were like a little kitten.

Cute.

Yeah.

What'd you eat?

Such a good question.

I had had this, it was like, you know, tapas style.

Like you just get like a bunch of little things and everybody shares it.

Love.

So me and Brian, he got like a bunch of appetizers that weren't just not my vibe.

Like this oyster cake, it was just not going to happen for me.

But for entrees, we got a

tortellini pomodoro, which was scrum deleumptious.

Sounds rich.

And we split the chicken.

It was very good.

Great.

Yeah, I love discovering new places in my hometown.

Where was the restaurant located?

Mulberry Street.

Wow.

I went all the way down.

She went downtown.

Downtown.

And then I came home, watched a 1989 World Tour, a little bit of Young Sheldon, and went to sleep.

I finished Love and Death last night.

Oh my God, what did you think?

I thought it was really good.

So crazy.

Spoiler alert.

Yeah.

Spoiler alert that she was not guilty, but

she wasn't guilty.

That was the thing.

And that's what I feel like the show did a good job of.

Like she was nuts and she was so wrong for sleeping by that girl's husband.

But in the actual crime, it was self-defense.

Like Betty brought the axe out not once, but twice.

Betty swung first.

But the thing is, like, we still only have her version of events.

Yes.

And so the show really did, like, obviously take her side because they showed us her version of events as the truth, that, like, Betty swung first.

So I guess we just all have to believe that.

And also, like, if it was self-defense, like, why didn't she just call the cops?

And why did she leave the baby in the duty all day?

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Unacceptable.

There should be jail time for that.

That episode gave me such bad anxiety when they were all looking for Betty.

It's like, yeah, of course, Betty, but the baby, I was like, well, you know, Candy's a mom.

She'd probably like change a diaper, put the kid down, give him a snack before she left.

Like, that's literally what I thought.

Cause I'm like, there's no way.

And then I was like, the baby, the baby, the baby.

And then they finally like addressed the baby when all those neighbors.

And you know what?

I feel like that episode was a really good

example of why you should always be nice and know your neighbors.

Yeah, that for sure.

But also, there needs to be a crime for her leaving a baby alone unattended

for like 12 hours.

A hundred percent.

I completely agree.

Jail time.

I also thought one of the craziest parts was

and then a separate jail time for Cavaliers.

For the Cavaliers left abandoned in the Strether, and thank God they had each other.

Thank God they had each other, and thank God they were outside so they could like shit and poop, but then they were hungry.

The body.

Oh my god, totally.

But I think Streis would never.

He would never eat his mommy.

I thought also one of the crazier parts was the end where they, you know, gave updates on what happened to everyone in real life after the trial wrapped.

And the lawyer who ran for governor and then ended up committing suicide, I was like, shook.

Yeah.

I thought Candy and him were going to end up together because they were both kind of like diabolical.

Yeah, they were really crazy.

Really crazy.

I thought everyone's like, it was really Emmy Worthy acting for Landry, for elizabeth the only thing about landry is that like to me he's so lovable landry the man that he made alan gore really likable

whereas then even in the small snippet they gave us about him at the end of the show that like he remarried soon after the grandparents adopted the kids so he wasn't he wasn't even a father like maybe he wasn't like the best guy because i weirdly was feeling like even though he's cheating on his wife like he's still a good husband.

No, no, I know.

He was like,

he was kind of harmless, even though he was doing harmful things.

And I really did feel like she totally like rope.

I mean, she did rope him into the affair.

Like,

it would have been so hard for him to say no.

And he tried to say no for so long.

And then even that night when he like knew something was up with Betty and he kept calling the house.

My God, go home.

No, I was just like, well, you don't expect that it's the absolute worst thing.

Yeah, and I also guess like if that happened today, everyone would be like quaking.

but with nobody had unless you were home you couldn't be reached by phone Yeah, but like if you're like an absent husband like you don't notice if you don't hear from your wife for 12 hours

So when he like kept calling the house I was just like you know what in his own weird way He is a good husband Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, I did feel like there was just one kind of like loose end that I was confused on

how when Alan stood trial like he kind of lied when he said the affair like ended completely clean.

Candy didn't want anything else from him.

Like

Candy did.

Like Candy Candy was vocal about her feelings for him, and like, he just couldn't take the plunge.

It felt like he lied.

Well, I feel like Candy in her, like, soul was, like, kind of wanting more, and she would talk to Sherry, and like, we knew that she was, like, just saying certain things, but didn't mean them.

But to Alan, like, she tried, oh, I guess they had that fight in the diner.

And then in the park.

Hmm.

Yeah.

But it did end and it ended.

Like, maybe when it ended, yeah, it was like a breakup combo.

But then, like, it was eight months later, and it wasn't like she was following him around town.

How like sad and cute and sweet was pat

yeah

like at first he was kind of the villain because he wasn't like the most adoring doting husband but then like when shit got rough and she was like still so terrible to him he was such a good husband and dad and the fact that they ended up getting divorced is not surprising but like it was sad yeah not surprising It was a really good show.

It was a good show.

We enjoyed it.

It was like a perfect length.

I didn't need any more than that.

Seven episodes.

I don't know what's next for me, but but I've been reading a lot.

I think I'll wait to get into like another bingey show because also, like, I just hate the feeling of when you're so in a show that, like, you just keep wanting to, like, run back to the TV and watch.

And it's like, there's life to be lived.

You know, there's children to parent.

Yeah, there's bed to be rested on.

I remember that.

Like, I can't be watching TV all day.

Yeah, yeah.

I actually didn't watch any TV yesterday.

I was just like so booked and busy.

I went to the dentist finally.

I've just been like putting that off.

Got my teeth cleaned.

I'm feeling good.

I'm feeling fresh.

Your shiny teeth and you?

My shiny teeth and me.

Yeah.

They look nice and shiny.

Thanks.

That's the thing about teeth cleaning.

Like you, you get out of the chair and you expect to look like Vanna White, you know, like new veneers.

And they really look the same because like cleanliness is not about color.

Yeah, that is very true.

And they were like, you want us to polish?

I was like, oh yeah, give me a polish.

I was like, I'm going to walk out.

Like, like Ross, when he gets his teeth white and like blinding people in the streets.

No.

Did you talk to your dentist about whether veneers are right for you?

I didn't, although he is a cosmetic dentist, so I know that, like, if I want to, you know, change my whole face and get veneers one day, I will be going to him.

But, you know, I have so many issues with my body.

And shockingly, my teeth are not one of them.

Like, yeah, my teeth aren't like perfection, like, veneers, but they're literally fine.

Yeah.

But they're just like, and for me too, I just feel like

no, this is for for, this goes for me too.

I feel like until you have veneers, you don't have adult teeth.

So I actually, I'm like refusing to subscribe to this like Hollywood narrative, this beauty standard for veneers.

Like, no, you, you can be beautiful and have like normal teeth.

My teeth are so normal.

Watch, I'm literally going to replay this episode in a year when I have like a full set of veneers because I am so immature.

We had this conversation like a year ago.

Yeah.

I don't know if we'll ever get veneers, but the thing is, I don't know.

I feel like sometimes like we're like George Washington, just like running around with our natural woods.

Who do we think we are?

No, I know we're so natural.

We're so George.

Well, the thing is, I don't really see a world in which I do get veneers because A, like, I just genuinely like think it's too expensive.

And B, it's the longest, most painful procedure where you're like fully awake for it.

Like, honestly, no.

Okay.

Like, I have such a low tolerance to like put up with pain and just tedious, like, no.

Yeah, like, I plan on getting a breast augmentation one day.

And yeah, I know that's really painful, but I'm asleep, bitch.

Like, bye.

No, and like, that's, that's worth it.

That's been bothering you.

Just to get veneers just to keep up.

You're like trying to goat me into getting veneers.

And like, I'm not.

I'm going to be, I'm George till the day I die.

Yeah.

No, I'm not trying to goat you.

I'm just, it's kind of just like the elephant in the room with us that we like walk around with our natural teeth.

But like, doesn't everyone?

Like, I refuse to be, I will not be insecure about my teeth.

Like, my teeth are fine.

Yeah, and you can always just keep your mouth closed, but that's really.

No, if there's like a list of things I want to change on my body, I would say teeth

30.

Okay.

Like I don't even think about my teeth ever.

I see a picture.

I'm like, what a gorgeous smile that girl has.

Yeah.

I don't think about my teeth ever.

But maybe I should be thinking about them more.

No, you shouldn't.

Like, no.

No, I mean, I shouldn't, and I won't be.

I'm just saying.

No, don't just say.

We're fine.

Okay.

Machanity then me.

So we've got a great show today.

We've got stories, we've got deer toasters, and two of of them really made me chuckle when I was reading them this morning.

So I can't wait to give, I'll give a little teaser, okay?

So, you know, you don't drop off, but before the end of the episode, there is a situation, and I think it's a kind of a divisive topic about people who kiss their parents on the lips.

Okay.

And we'll talk about it more.

Okay, can't wait to talk about that.

I haven't done deer toasters in a few weeks, so I'm excited to help y'all girlies.

Oh, yeah.

I love doing deer toasters with you.

Like, no one, no one knows, no one rules with an iron fist, quite like Jax.

So true.

Although I will say last week, joey camasta actually did give some like i expected him to be like funny and crazy but he also gave some like actually really good advice joey camasta is like kind of hamish

joey camasta is like kind of everything well that's true

yeah

so i guess anything else you want to chit-chat about before we dive in no i think i'm all caught up okay

and i'm looking forward to what stories have to bring for us in actually wait wait sorry before we get into that last night i was driving to dinner and I passed a restaurant called Mama Dew's Kitchen.

And I'm like, Theo's mom has a restaurant?

You got to keep him far away.

I think we should do a Patreon where we go and eat there.

Mama Doo Dadu.

Do you know what kind of food it was?

No, I just drove right past it.

Mama Dew's.

I feel like Ben would go there.

It was giving like all-American.

I think the sign had like a picnic table pattern.

Like it was giving very barbecue, like all-American, but was Dew spelt D-U or D-O?

D-U.

O.

So it was authentic.

Do-dad-doo.

Do-dad-doo.

How is Dew?

Amazing.

Like, just lift up.

Are you going to bring him over today?

Sure.

Yeah, right?

Yeah.

For the Strutherin.

Let Strutherin ring.

Let the Streisbro

sing.

That's such a good song.

I know.

It's a day of reckoning.

Who sings that?

Martina McBride.

Fucking queen.

Like ASPCA.

Sorry.

I think.

No, it's definitely giving Martina McBride.

But there's like a few country women who like give Martina McBride energy.

You know, Sarah McLaughlin is another one.

I disagree.

I think she kind of stands alone, Martina McBride.

No, I'm sorry.

Sarah McLaughlin is ASPCA.

Hold on.

Yeah, she is.

Freedom of the song.

Martina.

Let the white dove sing.

Let the whole world know that.

Martina

what's the song called Independence Independence Day yeah

by the way there's actually like a few songs called Independence Day and they're all so good your Independence Day yeah that's like if you title your song Independence Day it'll probably be good what do you think is the number one Martina McBride song

the one about this one's for the girls yeah I agree this one's for the girls yeah It's so good.

Now I'm on Martina McBride's Wikipedia.

She has three children, beautiful daughters.

You're on Minbin Bridgina.

She's 56.

You're on Matina McBride TikTok.

Are you okay?

Mattina?

You're on Martina McBride TikTok.

Literally.

She's 56.

She's a Leo.

And it's actually Independence Day is Martina McBride and Pat Benatar song.

Huh.

The more you know.

The more you know.

Now.

Without further ado, did it do,

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I ate a perfect bar yesterday.

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Oh my God.

Thank you.

Are you drinking from a Stanley steamer?

You don't know I have a Stanley cup?

I didn't know you have a Stanley cup.

You're supposed to talk about it all the time if you have one.

Well, let me tell you, I had a...

I like wanted a water bottle like when I, maybe like now, it's almost been a year.

Yeah, like when I started like wanting to get healthy, I was like, I know I need to start drinking more water.

So I bought one and I was like gonna buy a Stanley because that's what everyone had.

I'm like, not this thing being like $60

for a water bottle.

So I went on Amazon and I just bought like a bottle with a straw from like Simple Human.

It was literally $12 and it was amazing and I had no problems with it.

It kept my beverages cold.

Then when I just did, I went on a brand trip and in like the little gift bag, there was a Stanley.

I was like, oh, well, now I can be like all the girlies.

And this one was like cool neon one.

So I brought it home with me.

And I've been using it ever since.

And you know what?

It really is that bitch.

Like it keeps that shit ice cold.

Like this water is from last night and it's freezing.

Wow.

I kind of need a Stanley because I need to be drinking more water.

I was actually just going to get a water bottle on Amazon, like get one of the ones that are like hourly, like those crazy ones.

But I don't need a crazy one.

I just need something that's going to make it more fun for me to drink water and through a straw because then I'll drink like more passively.

Yes.

And you know, you could kind of sprinkle a Stanley.

You could sprinkle like a little crystal light in there because crystal light is drinking water.

It totally counts.

Yeah, no, it does.

I just have to like look at what it's made of, but yeah.

Yeah, because you're like in your clean girl era, but I feel like crystal would never do that to us.

I feel like crystal would do exactly that.

Like, crystal is fake as fuck.

Okay, but there are also like crystallite alternatives, like these new wave, like Mio, like all these like new clean ones.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or I could just like squeeze a lemon in there, call it a day.

You know, I've done that too.

I do love a lemon water.

Yeah.

Okay, I think I'm gonna get a Stanley after this.

I've been influenced by Turdy Luja.

I do have like one problem with the Stanley, and if you have a Stanley, you know what I'm talking about.

Because like,

oh, actually, I guess right now.

No, never mind.

How often do you wash it?

Every time I go to refill it, so like every few days.

Do you, can you put it in the dishwasher?

I don't know.

I never have.

I just do a soap and a sponge and I move on with my life because there's just water in there, not duty.

I know, but I just like hate hand washing stuff.

Oh, really?

I actually prefer hand washing stuff because if I throw something in the dishwasher, like I will never see it again.

Like I, this is what I do.

I'll, I'll load up the dish, the dishwasher, like, for a few days because I'm not going to wash like three bowls.

So, when there's enough stuff, so let's say I put my, my Stanley in on Monday.

I probably won't run the dishwasher until Wednesday.

And then I probably won't unload the dishwasher

until Friday because Thursday I will be like, oh, I forgot to unload the dishwasher.

And then I'll open up the dishwasher.

I'm like, you've all just been like sitting in here.

Let me run it again.

And then by Friday, I pull it out.

So it's like, then I'm left five days without my Stanley.

If I need something, like, if it's, I have like also this like glass mason jar thing that I drink my coffee in.

Like, I, I literally do not dishwash it.

I hand wash it.

If, if I need something, I cannot put it in the dishwasher.

The dishwasher is a black hole.

That is at home.

When I'm like home home, I run my dishwasher like once or twice a day.

So it's not an issue.

But here, like, we have less dishes.

So yeah, if I put something in the dishwasher, like I literally, I think you won't see it for a week.

It's still in there.

Yeah.

I don't know the last time we actually ran the dishwasher because it's not full.

I hate like dishwasher.

I don't believe in dishwashers.

Like, there are certain New York City apartments.

I'm the polar, like, I can't speak right now because right now I'm not living like in my truth, but at home, like, everything goes in the dishwasher.

No, I and I literally will, like, when I'm buying something new on Amazon or something, like, I have to make sure it's dishwasher safe.

Otherwise, I'm not getting it.

No, I wouldn't know if that's Stanley's dishwasher safe or not.

It has literally never been in the dishwasher, but I have to imagine it's dishwasher safe.

I don't know.

Some things are dishwasher safe.

It's fine, but it like chips away at the integrity of the thing.

Like caraway.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And caraway, I'm okay with hand washing, like, because it's worth it.

I hand wash all my pans.

Like, if because I need a pan to cook, and if I put in the dishwasher, I'll never see her again.

That's really funny.

Yeah.

Okay, well, now that we've covered that, let's get into the stories.

I think we should.

First up, Stasi Shorter is giving us a look inside Ariana and Katie's sandwich shop, something about her.

So the other night, Stasi posted on Instagram, she went to something about her with Katie Lala and Christina Kelly.

And they got the grand tour.

And like, the restaurant is done.

So we saw the outside.

It has like this yellow and white striped awning.

Super cute.

And then the inside is so, as they described, like Nancy Meyer, girly, swirly.

It's really, it's like Parisian, too.

Yeah, honestly, it looks like Stasi designed it.

By the way, Jackie, I thought the same thing.

It looked like Stasi's aesthetic in a wall between like those framed pictures, very like Marie Antoinette.

Now, if you were, you know, an active user on TikTok, you would have seen the interior of something about her like weeks ago, because there's this guy who literally goes to West Hollywood every day and like puts his phone up against the window.

And we saw all the furniture.

Like, so I had seen this before, but I actually hadn't seen that wall that Stasi had panned to in her Instagram story, and it was really very well done.

Yeah, it was really well done.

I'm sure they're opening soon.

I think someone said this in like the comments of our thing, which I guess makes sense.

They'll wait to open till they're filming.

Yeah, even though they did say before this whole shebang was that

end of May, early June, which has passed.

Yeah, but they're ready to open, it looks like.

Actually, you never know what's going on in the kitchen, just like Schwartz and Sandy's looked ready for a while, but it wasn't.

But it didn't like really look ready, too.

It was like kind of like defunct.

Yeah, but also making sandwiches is different than like a whole ass menu bar.

No, this was like, I thought this was a smart idea prior to Scandival, but now that like everyone's team, Katie, and Ariana, it's obviously an even better idea.

But like, such a low lift.

I think they only, they don't have a bar.

They might serve wine, but like not hard liquor.

Um, it's such a low lift, and it's very smart.

Yeah, I'm excited for them.

And I think they were actually able because you know, they were like looking for investors.

I think they were able to fund it themselves because it's like a smaller project and they did all that merch and stuff to like.

Yeah, I think so too.

I hope so.

That's like, that's kind of major.

Yeah.

Did they say they made $200,000 in the merch?

Yes.

Right.

So I don't know how much it takes to open a sandwich shop, but I feel like they're in the ballpark.

Especially then, if they both come to the table with like $100,000 each personally to invest in their business.

Yeah, I don't know how much it costs, but it's a small spot.

It has like a little cute patio in the front.

I hear there's also a back patio.

This is what the guy on TikTok said.

So it's not like a huge project.

It was actually, you know,

it's very legitimate.

Yeah.

And also what's so crazy is if you remember, like Katie originally wanted to open the sandwich shop with Tom like

years ago and he chose to do Swartz and Sandy's yeah and then she

you know mentioned it to Ariana and Ariana loved the idea but like if Tom had played his cards differently and correctly

he'd be in a much different position I also just want to say like for the record I still don't really like the name

I don't dislike it okay What should it be called?

Sandwich sluts?

Obsessed.

I don't know what it should be called, but I just don't.

Something about her sounds like, you know, a line of clothing-free people would make.

Like, I don't know, there's just

like the vibe.

But that's not leaning for like a restaurant.

Like, hey, you want to go grab lunch at, you know, Subway or something.

Like, you want to go grab lunch at something about her?

It's like a little long.

Okay.

I don't disagree.

Yeah, like, like, you want to grab a Jersey Mike's?

But it doesn't actively bother me.

It actively bothers me.

But they said it would be like, there's, it's something about her her sandwiches, you know?

Oh, something about her sandwiches.

Like, like, when you're talking about the sandwiches, you're like, there's something about her sandwiches.

Oh, I thought you meant, like, there's something about her sandwiches.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, like, it's a double entendre.

It's like a play on words.

Okay, wait, by the way, I see that.

Yeah.

It's like, it's.

I can't think of a word for it, but it's just a little like nice fairy dust.

Yeah, it's not my favorite.

Okay, well, maybe one day we'll go to LA and we can go get sandwiches.

That's the other thing.

Like, I wish I could enjoy.

Like, I don't even like sandwiches.

Maybe they'll franchise.

But what do you mean?

They might have a nice sourdough.

If they have, like, a peanut butter and jelly.

I'm sure that they will have an elevated peanut butter and jelly, even though, like, a elevated grilled cheese, probably.

For sure.

Yeah.

What about a grilled chicken sandwich?

Love a grilled chicken sandwich.

I think you should give it a chance.

I will.

We'll have to go to LA.

I love L.A.

When do you think we'll go to LA again?

We?

I don't know.

Me, probably sometime in the next few months, but you, I don't know.

We.

L.A.

Steens.

L.A.

Week.

L.A.

Week.

You know, I'm always down.

Like, we work around your ovulation and menstrual cycles.

It's true, but I also feel like with us in LA, like, it's always a last-minute affair.

Like, we don't make plans to go up to LA.

L.A.

just kind of summons us.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, L.A.

calls.

Hollywood calls.

Hollywood calls, and we pick up.

Yeah.

So who knows when we'll go to L.A.?

Could be next week.

Well, actually, it's a little bit more.

It couldn't be next week.

It actually can't be next week.

No, like, we know it won't be for like the next six months at least.

Yeah, yeah.

Because you know me, I love L.A.

more than you.

I love L.A.

Yeah, Jackie weirdly loves L.A.

Like, I think you would live there.

I think I would.

No, I wouldn't.

I wouldn't live there.

But I like going there so much.

People complain so much when they go there, but the people are just like, I don't know, stuff.

I like everything about it when i go i i don't

but i'm also just like a hater to my core you know because you hate the people

i don't like the people i don't have like a um

i don't i just don't like the culture you know

the yeah like the matcha hike culture

i went and roamed turtle

No, I did.

I hiked Ranyon Canyon, whatever it's called.

Ranyon.

It was one of the worst days of my life.

That's weird that you did that.

Why did you do that?

Because I was with like two skinny bitches who wanted to do it.

I literally sat down on a bench halfway and they like went up and then came back down and picked me up on the way down.

I was like, I'm done with this shit.

Who were you with?

Alicia and Anna.

Damn.

We were like be doing LA things.

They're like Runyon Canyon.

I'm like, okay.

No, that's crazy.

Yeah.

That you did that.

Yeah.

I could never get you to do that.

Yeah.

Wow.

Well, are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Because it

has to do with something we were talking about on Monday, models getting married to eligible men.

Victoria's Secret Angel Taylor Hill married her, quote, best friend, Daniel Fryer, on a Colorado ranch.

Obsessed.

Taylor Hill married the love of her life and best friend, private equity investor, Daniel Fryer, near her hometown at the 6,500 acres.

I love when your best friend just also happens to be like a private investor and equity equity bank divider, whatever you said.

Yeah, a private equity investor.

I just kind of love when that happens.

They got married at the Devil's Thumb Ranch and Resort in Colorado last Saturday.

The bride originally met her husband, who's London-born and Geneva raised, at Jazz Fest in Aspen in 2019.

And he popped the question two years later in Italy with a large emerald cut tri-diamond ring.

This wedding is like so Pinterest, but like in a really good way.

It's in a really good way.

You know what it reminds me of?

It reminds me of

1929, the show.

Like that's

the vibe.

I loved her look.

I loved everything about it.

Like they really bloomed where they were planted.

It was very Colorado, mountainous, but and she was very

whimsical and bohemian, but in a really nice looking way.

It was beautiful.

Yeah.

It was very yellowstone coated.

It was not like crazy ostentatious, but it was really beautiful and tasteful.

Like you can tell it costs a lot of money, but it's not because there was like gold dripping from the centerpieces.

Like it was really tasteful.

She's so beautiful.

I loved like how he's like this foreign businessman, but they had this like all-American wedding.

I'm obsessed.

And her dress, obsessed.

Obsessed.

Like, I feel like it's actually not getting as much attention as it deserves.

This wedding, like people are kind of stumbling upon it.

But it's not like, you know, headline news.

And now it's getting like more attention because people are genuinely interested.

And like, what's just like a cute couple?

Like, she's 27, he's 29.

So normal.

So normal.

I'm obsessed.

No, they definitely go in my Jasmine Tooks, Miranda Kerr category.

Like, I need to learn more about him and like his, you know, background in finances, but I'm shipping.

I'm here for it.

They're in the category.

Like, that's an elite wedding, elite marriage, elite coupling, elite everything.

Yeah.

And were there even any celebrities there that you saw?

I'm sure there were like fellow models.

Taylor Hill's like a real, she's like really a supermodel.

Yeah, but like her bridal party was normie's.

Love to see it.

So, yeah, just

like normal.

Yeah, but like normal, normal, but everyone is so beautiful and rich.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was really spectacular.

I love a wedding like this.

And, you know, it kind of reminds me like the last wedding we were really obsessed with.

I forgot about them.

They're also an elite marriage.

Kate Bach and Kevin Love.

Yeah, except he is an athlete.

NBA player.

Like businessman, but also Sophia Ritchie and Elliott.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's a great businessman

He's like a model in Tastemaker.

Amongst other things.

And he's a businessman Bo.

Yeah.

No, the girlies are like out here making good marriages.

Like, I feel like we're all over dating actors and athletes.

Like, they just break your hearts.

Like, find a rich private citizen.

You will live a much happier life.

Hardworking.

Nepo, baby, I'm down.

Like, you know, family money.

It's good.

Yeah, it's nice i'm happy for them this was a really gorgeous wedding vogue also like it was the photographs were amazing it was so so highbrow so elegant but like not in a tacky way at all yeah no and her dress was like really interesting because it was very it was gorgeous but it was very like

simple pilgrim yeah but like oh yeah she's supermodel she looks like amazing and she like it I feel like I rarely see a wedding dress that's like something new

or like something different that's unexpected

And I just, I really liked it.

I agree.

Are you ready for our next story?

I am.

The weekend is defending his douchebag character's gluttonous sex scene in The Idol following the backlash that Turdy Lou and Margot described yesterday.

So, The Weekend defended his despicable character on the highly controversial HBO series The Idol after a graphic sex scene left viewers and sisters horrified.

He spoke to GQ on Tuesday and said, There's nothing sexy about it.

However, you're you're feeling watching that scene, whether it's discomfort or you feel gross or you feel embarrassed for the characters, it's all those emotions adding up to this guy is in way over his head.

The situation is one where he is not supposed to be here.

He said

the

sex scene is portrayed in such a gluttonous way because Tedros can't believe he's there.

You look at him and this is a score.

Jocelyn might be the biggest score he's ever had.

It's very obvious.

He's overindulging.

He walks into this house looking around like, God damn, am I way over my head?

This could be the biggest job I've ever done.

Um,

okay,

I

don't know what to say.

Like,

yeah, like, I guess, sure, he could explain why this scene is the way that it is.

And his, you know, I'm sure in the context of the show, I don't watch the show, but I'm sure in the context of the show, his explanation makes a lot of sense for his character, right?

But here's the thing:

like, why, why did they have to make the show?

Like, I know.

And, you know, it literally is like the viewership is through the roof i think they had more um

people tune in to the second episode than they did like the premiere of euphoria i think it was like 3.3 million people like this is what people want like what it's like a disgusting show oh i didn't see that that it's actually performing well yeah i had like people were being like the show's flopping the show's flopping and then i saw like a Nielsen rating and it was fucking high.

Sounds like it's the same amount of people as Succession Finale.

Right.

Succession Finale was like, what, four?

Well, I can understand why people want to, like, they hear about this

scene.

There's a curiosity, so people will watch it.

Who knows if this will hook them enough to keep watching it?

But everything I see, this show just, like, gives me the willies.

The willies.

Every time I go to Max to watch Love and Death, like, it keeps coming up, and it's just like,

it just gives me the willies.

Yeah, and there's like a part of me that definitely wanted to watch it because I'm really intrigued by Lily Rose Depp as just like a young starlette.

But she plays a young starlette and she's like this young starlet who's like being exploited and it's like very, you know, dark.

And I don't think I want to watch that.

No, me neither.

I don't know.

I just, it's too much.

Like,

it's just too much.

Like, can't we just like?

But like, can we just like watch nice things?

Yeah, like, can't you just put your clothes back on?

Like, I just, I just, like, it's too.

Why does everything have to be so...

so, like, I feel like with shows, it's been like slowly,

you know, we'll see a scene that would, like, I feel like when we used to watch girls, there would be like a scene that everyone would talk about that was, like, so crazy, but it was like one scene out of the whole show.

And now it's like with each show that comes up, it's like we're getting used to more and more.

And like, now it's just like straight porn.

No, I completely agree.

Like, it used to be, um, like, even when you think of like Sex in the City, which was like the most racy show, in the context of like today's climate, it's like not even that crazy.

No.

Like, we never even even saw a penis in

actually, I think that maybe you do see penis in Sex and City, but not on the E-reruns.

No, because I watched it on HBMX.

Oh, okay.

You might, like, there's probably like six pairs of tits every episode.

There might be like three penises in the whole franchise.

Like, it's so crazy.

But did that one?

No.

That was like the most racy show of a generation.

And it's like,

in today's context, it's like a tame show.

Child's play.

Yeah, like where just like, this is not me judging this is just me asking like where actually where do we draw the line like are we keep going

so far we keep going yeah it's like why does every show have to be like so sexy yeah but I do don't get me wrong like I like it in a few yeah no and I feel like it's like sometimes it adds value you know they like to push the

the limits but I feel like with this show the idol it's kind of the first time people are like calm the fuck down yeah people are looking around and being like how did we get here

How did we get here?

How do we get out?

Literally.

How do we get out?

We used to give them something to see.

Oh, baby, look at us.

That's literally what that song is about.

Yeah.

Well, we'll see what happens with this show.

Yeah, it's...

Yeah, I'm curious if the ratings are high just because there's like a curiosity and people's interests have been peaked because the show has been described as like really dark or really weird.

You know, when I think about when you see these headlines, it's like the weekend and Lily Rosepp are having like literal sex on screen, like people are going to go and watch that.

Yeah, yeah, but that's not a sustainable business model.

No, and that's not like a television show.

Right, where it's like a story being told.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, our next story, a little comedy news.

Oh, yeah.

Amy Schumer is roasting sociopath Hilaria Baldwin's fake heritage and von Trapp amount of kids in her new Netflix special.

So Amy Schumer is going after Hilaria in her new Netflix special, Emergency Contact.

While doing a comedy set about parenting and motherhood, Amy recalled the fact that Hilaria from Hispania is actually Hilary from Boston.

Schumer reminded her audience that the former yoga instructor, the wife of troubled actor Alec Baldwin, is in no way Spanish.

Her parents are not from Spain.

No one in her life is from Spain.

Despite hailing from Massachusetts, Hilaria gave her von Trapp amount of children very Spanish names like Hamon and Croquetta and Flamenco, she joked.

Then she assured viewers viewers she was not trying to bully a sociopath and instead pointed out that both Hilaria and Alec simply don't give a fuck, not only about making up a cultural identity, but also about fatally shooting the rust cinematographer, Helena Hutchins.

Yes, she like

held, she did not hold back in the slightest when talking about Iladia and Alec, which was actually refreshing because people have seemed to move on, but like I'm right where you left me.

I'm still thinking about the fact that, and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about how fucking weird it is what she did oh how you say uh cucumber like are you okay

yeah

is the special out yeah it came out yesterday i'm actually gonna watch it i've kind of been like loving amy schumer ever since the oscars me too not since the oscars well i always love amy schumer and she's literally dana's favorite comedian so like i'll always like her because she brings dana so much joy but she's just like really funny sometimes and yeah no i never i actually really always liked her movies but i never really got into her stand-up.

It was just like never, uh, she was never just a female comedian.

I was like, you know, drawn to watching.

And Dana was always like, Damien Schumer, I'm like, yeah, okay, whatever.

And I think like for a while, I was like, oh, Amy Schumer is just like so overrated, but she's kind of not.

She's kind of like really funny.

No, like she just fell into that trap where she was so talented.

Like we used to watch, like Dana and I, inside Amy Schumer.

We saw Amy Schumer at MSG.

She came out with like a few movies that were so, so good.

And so she went from being like a mid-sized comedian to just being like insanely huge and like anything else kind of the expectation was greater than the result and I feel like she got kind of stuck in the mud for a few years by the way that's an amazing like way of putting it but she inherently is so talented and so funny and I like her comedy a lot and I think you would like it too because sometimes like your comedy reminds me of her and Vicar

I plan on watching her special um

and her movies like she needs to make more movies not enough people talk about I Feel Pretty.

Like, it's literally the best.

She had some flops.

So, like, that

snatched with Goldie Han.

They're a mother-daughter duo who got kidnapped.

Oh, I never even heard of this film.

Yeah, no,

I think there was another one, too.

And

I feel like she's been in movies and then she's like created movies.

I feel like Train Wreck and I Feel Pretty are like her and Judd Appetow like doing everything.

And then maybe she got cast in this other movie.

Like, it doesn't feel like an Amy Schumer project.

I think it was an Amy Schumer project.

Damn.

It was an Amy Schumer production?

Yeah, I'm trying to

confirm that.

Yeah, you know, this Goldie Han movie like does feel familiar.

Yeah.

Did you see it?

I did see it.

Or at least parts of it.

No, and it was not good.

Damn.

Yeah.

That's what happens.

Like you start doing well and then they put you in crap ola because they think that you can save everything.

They think that people like you enough that just the movie will be good and people will go and see it.

Yeah.

And, you know, she was on Watch Rapids Live recently talking about Barbie.

And I actually thought what she said was interesting.

She's like, the Barbie that like we just all saw the trailer for is like not the Barbie I was cast in.

And that's why I left.

Like it was like a weird movie.

And I think there were like a lot of changes happened.

I don't even know if Greta Gerwig was on for the one that Amy Schumer was in, but she basically said like this movie looks good and the one that I was cast in like did not.

Yeah, because we talked about how she did that.

That's what we were told.

Like it was going to be Amy Schumer and she's like kicked out of Barbie land.

She's like, Will Farrell and Elf.

And then we heard that, like, it's no longer Amy, and that the movie premise was changing.

But, like, honestly, and I love Margot Robbie and obviously, like, she's quintessential Barbie, but the idea of like Amy Schumer playing Outcast Barbie from Barbie Land sounds unreal.

No, it sounds hysterical.

Is the movie supposed to be a comedy?

I think so.

Okay.

How does it not accommodate?

I don't know.

Is it like rated PG-13?

Isn't Barbie Barbie for kids?

Like,

it's, yeah, I don't think it's for kids.

This isn't like Barbie, this isn't Barbie for kids.

But, like, Mattel has to

like approve, you know, of the content.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

It's rated PG-13.

Okay.

What was Elf rated?

I feel like it was like literally rated PG.

I feel like

I'm looking, I'm looking

PG, so cute.

Yeah, so that's like a perfect movie because it really is like a funny film, no matter who you are.

Like, I'm sure as a kid, we thought it was hysterical.

But now, like, as an adult, like, it's still funny.

Yeah.

And that's kind of what I thought Barbie was going to be, but Barbie's, like, a little bit more raunchy.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know.

We'll see.

Yeah, we'll have to see.

There's so many questions about this film.

Like,

are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Yes, before we dive into Deer Toasters.

Yes.

A TikToker faked his own death and then showed up at the funeral in a helicopter to teach his family a wider lesson.

Jesus Christ.

A TikToker in Belgium faked his death before turning up at his own funeral in a helicopter in a bid to see who in his wider family would show up.

David Barreton, who goes by the TikTok handle Ragnar LeFou, carried out the stun in front of mourners over the weekend with the aid of his wife and children who helped him orchestrate it.

Various clips shared by other TikTokers appear to show scenes from the day, including shots of a coffin and a memorial.

He's also also prepared the scene with a post saying, rest in peace, daddy.

I will never stop thinking about you.

Why is life?

Daddy?

Her dad.

This TikToker is an older gentleman.

Oh, I just assumed it was like a 12-year-old because this is something so dumb.

No, because also they went to hear TikToker.

No, he's an older gentleman.

He has kids.

He has a large family.

And I guess he felt like everyone was neglecting him.

So he faked his own death to teach them a lesson.

They're at the funeral and he showed up in a helicopter and He explained his reasoning for the stunt.

He said, We all grew apart.

I felt unappreciated.

That's why I wanted to give you a life lesson and show you that you shouldn't wait until someone is dead to meet up with them.

In a further video, he said that though he was glad to feel loved on his funeral day, it's when we're alive that we need to hear these things.

I did this to start my life again with you.

He addressed his wider family.

So, I mean, it's a beautiful message.

However,

I do feel as though he could have, you know, sent the message in a less traumatizing way.

In a less traumatizing way, for sure.

It's very pick-me.

No, and you know what?

Like, somebody who would do this is deeply unwell.

And, like, no wonder your family was ignoring you.

You're probably psychotic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What the fuck?

What are extremes that someone has to go to to do this?

Yeah, like, and this is coming from me.

I live for attention.

I would quite literally never do this.

If you felt like no one was like answering your calls or showing up for you or just like giving you the love and attention you deserve, I feel like you maybe would.

No, like I have scruples.

Like I have, I have limitations.

Like, and there's, you know, a lot I would do, but there's a lot I wouldn't do.

This is

like this will like put people in therapy.

Yeah.

Or it's all just like this elaborate plan for a TikTok.

That's also what I was thinking.

Like.

Didn't he film the funeral?

It could be both.

I do think that when you are like a TikTok, especially like a stunt pranks TikTok, you do try and think of like big ideas, like and things that you wouldn't like care to do if you weren't on TikTok, like you would just live your life.

Right.

But I think he also wanted to teach people a lesson.

Well, I think the lesson was learned, but it's probably not the lesson he wanted us to learn because the lesson I'm sure his family learned was like, damn, Uncle Brett or whatever his name is is fucking nuts, and I want no part of this family.

Yeah,

so that's what you missed.

That's what the deeply unwell TikTokers are up to abroad.

Not so dissimilar from the deeply unwell TikTokers here.

No, not dissimilar in the slightest.

Yeah.

And honestly, to be honest, like I see really disturbing prank TikToks of just like people disturbing the peace and being menaces to society.

And so it's like, if you want to just fuck with your own family in this way, it's really not as

weirdly not as crazy as some of the other stuff I've seen.

Yeah, no, like people who are menaces to society and like do public pranks.

And like, I hate people like that.

It's the lowest form of like content.

It's such a low bar for comedy.

Like, I hate that shit.

Yeah.

I want to dive into Dear Toasters, but before we do, I have like such an exciting announcement that I've like forgotten to tell everyone.

Please tell us.

Do I know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we recently relaunched our website, the toastpodcast.com.

And what's so exciting about that is like, you know, you could check out your gorgeous girls, recent episodes, yada, yada.

But there's also now a submission page for deer toasters.

So of course you can still email deertoasters gmail.com.

But if you head to our website, which is thetoastpodcast.com, you could just scroll down and there's a little box where you could type in your submission for deer toasters and it'll get sent straight to us.

So new website, new submission form, but you could still submit the old way.

Isn't that exciting, Jungs?

So you're saying done the new way, submitted the old way.

That's exactly what I'm saying.

I love that.

I'm so excited.

I was actually just on our website yesterday, like taking a look around.

And what did you think?

I thought it was really premium stuff, but also just like exactly what you need to know about your girlies and the show.

Right.

It's no frills.

No fluff.

It's no frills.

No fluff.

Yeah.

It's just like straight to the point.

It's not like clickbait.

We want you to spend time on our website like for our ads.

Like just

here are the things that you need.

Exactly.

All right.

Are you ready for deer toasters?

I am.

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All right, are you ready for dear toasters?

I am, I am.

Hey, Jackson Claude.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years, and we've been living together for two.

Throughout the past six months, my boyfriend has chosen to sleep almost every night alone in the guest room.

Occasionally on the weekends, he'll sleep in our bed with me, but those times have gotten few and far between.

He likes to play video games late at night and says he doesn't want to wake me up by coming to bed late.

I've told him that it really upsets me, and I actually wouldn't mind him coming to bed late as long as he comes to bed eventually and I get to wake up next to him.

He says I'm trying to take away too much of his personal time and it shouldn't matter because when we are asleep, it's not valuable quality time.

He doesn't understand why I'm upset that we aren't sleeping in the same bed and he makes me feel like I'm asking for too much.

I've tried bringing this up to him multiple times and the conversation never ends well.

Am I overreacting or am I asking for too much?

What should I do?

Thanks.

A lonely toaster.

That is, this is weird.

This is weird.

Something's weird about it that he's like so insistent on sleeping in the guest room even though his reasons for not sleeping with you would be like things that you should decide whether or not you bother you okay with um and yeah there's definitely another reason

time like that's so random I actually just read, I was almost going to choose it as a story yesterday.

This woman, you know, she's like, me and my husband have the perfect marriage.

We live in separate burrows.

And I know that there are like people who, you know, sleep in separate beds or literally even have separate homes.

I think like Jackie Goldschneider's parents literally live in separate houses.

Like, I know that there's things and whatever works for whatever marriage, but like if you are saying like you want a partner who sleeps in bed with you, like, and that's a non-negotiable, you are so not asking for a lot.

That's extremely valid.

And yeah, you don't spend quality time when, when you sleep with someone, but like any night I'm sleeping alone, like there's a, there's a loneliness.

Like I totally get it.

You're not, you're so justified in what you're asking for.

And I feel like the video game thing like is not a real answer.

That was like his cover.

And you saying it doesn't bother you, like definitely fucked with him.

So I feel like, I feel like maybe he's doing something in his sleep.

Like maybe it's like jerking off.

Like, I don't know.

Like, I think there's like something he's not telling you.

Yeah, I would try and find out what the reason is.

But also, yeah, some couples live separately or whatnot, but that's after like decades of marriage where you're just like

set in your ways and want your space and you've earned it.

But after being in a relationship for two years, like you shouldn't have to be sleeping alone, especially if you don't want to be.

So I would try and find the source of the issue because it sounds like he's coming up with a bunch of excuses.

Like, I don't know, maybe he pees the bed.

Something weird.

Yeah, no, there's he's hiding something.

Yeah, he's hiding something.

He is.

Yes.

Maybe he plays his video games and it's like an episode of Black Mirror and he's having an affair in the video game and then he doesn't feel comfortable like going to sleep with you.

Oh my god, it's so Black Mirror.

It's so landry.

It's so metaverse.

Yeah, no, this is weird.

I don't think it has anything to do with the video games.

And my advice would be to like actually figure out what it is.

But he sounds like so closed, closed off and like borderline immature.

It's like, you won't sleep with your girlfriend, you're playing video games, like you sound like a teenager.

Yeah, and like maybe that could, I would imagine that would show through in other areas of the relationship.

So I would, I would not like brush this off.

And also, like, you don't get into a relationship to sleep alone.

Like, that's one of the perks of being in a loving relationship.

It's like you have someone to go to bed with and, you know, pillow talk and huddle.

And like, those are the good times.

Sleep is honestly, for me, like a quality time.

Like, I disagree with him.

No, and also and the fact that like you're going to bed every night alone and not getting that quality time, like the time before bed, like when you watch TV or you talk or you just like both read in silence, like that's the definition of quality time.

So him not sleeping with you, while the sleeping might not be quality time.

It's all the activities around the sleep, like waking up and going to sleep that are like the best parts of a relationship.

And you're missing out on that.

Yeah, so I would push the issue for sure.

For sure.

There's something else going on.

Don't let this, Because then you'll just get into a place where it's like, it is what it is.

And you find yourself, you know, with someone for 10 years and you're never sleeping together and you're missing out on that.

And if that's important to you, then don't, that's not something that you should have to compromise on.

And it being important to you is so valid.

Like you're not overreacting.

You're not asking for too much.

Right.

But there's also other people who this would not be important to them.

And it's like, oh, sweet.

I get to be in a relationship, but I still get a whole ass bed to myself.

Best of both worlds.

Right.

But like if one of, if one person in the relationship like wants to sleep together, then we're both sleeping together.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I'm not into this like, new age, separate burrows.

It's actually, like, not that new age.

Like, in Downton, they had separate rooms.

We're kind of like going back.

Yeah, I guess.

I guess that's actually fair.

But, but in Downton, they were doing the societal norm.

And now the societal norm is to sleep together.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And the couples that were really in love would always like sneak around and sleep together.

It's so true.

And also, that was only really for the aristocracy to sleep separate.

Like, it's not like every

like all people were doing that.

No, you're right.

Like the staff who were married were sleeping in the same bed.

Yeah, or just like middle class or lower class people, like they weren't having separate bedrooms.

Yeah, it's a it's a luxury not many could afford.

Yeah.

All right, ready for our next one?

Mm-hmm.

Hey, Jackson Derdy, long time listener, first time writer.

I'll get right into it.

My boyfriend is 24 and we've been dating for a few years.

P-john, everything of the sort, yada, yada.

Except, whenever he says goodbye to his mom, he kisses her on the mouth.

This weirds me out.

I have two older brothers, and I've never seen them kiss my mom.

But I don't know how to approach him about it without making his mom upset.

What if she thinks I'm a naggy bitch girlfriend because I'm controlling her son?

Or he thinks I'm out of pocket for this.

Am I crazy for thinking this?

Please help.

Sincerely, a toaster who doesn't kiss their mom.

I'm a little stumped.

But I feel like you are a better

candidate because I don't have a boy son.

No, actually the opposite.

Like you kiss Harry on the mouth more than I do.

I won't be doing doing that when he is a girlfriend.

He's a baby.

I was going to say, I don't know, like when, what, when they are just going to stop?

There will come a time where like it won't be like normal or it will be weird.

Like I won't do it.

Okay, so you're saying it's not cool for adults to kiss their parents on the lips?

No.

So here's the thing.

I feel like neither of us can really truly answer this fairly because we do kiss our mom on the lips.

Like I don't know actually if you do, but I do.

Like I don't think it's weird, but like we're all girls.

So I have to imagine if I had a father who was alive, I would not be kissing him on the mouth, but I would probably still be kissing my mom.

I think it's a gender thing.

Interesting.

So if this girl's boyfriend was kissing his dad on the lips, that would be fine?

No, no, no, no, no.

Sorry.

Okay, here.

And these are my rules, okay?

Turns out

the term of engagement.

And there's no rhyme or reason.

I'm not saying they're right, but this is what I think is normal, okay?

Girls can kiss their moms on the lip.

Girls cannot kiss their dads on the lip.

Boys cannot kiss kiss their moms on the lip.

Boys cannot kiss their dads on the lips.

Okay.

So just like the mother-daughter.

So just the thing that you do is fine.

Yes.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I mean, I imagine I would feel the same way that this girl feels like seeing it.

Yeah, this is unequivocally bizarre.

But like, I don't know if as a mama, like if I, if I'm going to be insisting on kissing Harry on the lips when he's a grown man.

Yeah, right.

I don't think I will be because that's just really not who I am.

Right, that's the thing.

That's why it's also not fair because, like, you also are just not, like, a kisser.

Yeah, but, like, Tom Brady and his kids, like, when they would kiss on the lips and stuff and people would be quaking.

What were your thoughts?

When Tom Brady was kissing his kids,

I definitely thought it was weird, but not closely.

I don't think, I actually don't think it's weird.

But when Tom Brady was kissing his own dad i thought that was weird i don't think so

i think you either do it like it's either normal in your household or it's not yeah like but it's not like if you do it like it's then when people make it weird that makes it weird it's like whoa bro what are you thinking like we just like no i know but like

but like your boyfriend's kissing another woman like

oh my god

No, this is like a really gray area.

Like it's personal.

There's not a rule.

Like what I said is just what I think, but you're right.

It's clearly reflected off of my own life experience.

Like, I,

Ben doesn't kiss either of his parents on the lips.

So, this is not, I really honestly, for the first time in my life, like, I'm truly stomped.

I know.

Me too.

I don't know if it's worth saying something because you kind of just like look crazy.

Like, what?

You're jealous of his mom?

No, you look crazy.

And if the mom found out that you had, and then how does, how does he go from kissing his mom his whole life to not?

Yeah.

And my children's mind.

She's going to think she did something wrong.

That you just have to wince every time you see it, and that's your cross to bear.

Yeah, and I guess like you can talk to your partner about it and tell him that like you think it's weird without asking him to do anything, but just like vocalizing your feelings.

So that like every time he does it, he gets a pit and maybe he'll do it less.

Yeah, like you deserve to be heard.

Your feelings are valid.

Right?

Yeah, this is just like one of those things, like how it's just like hard and weird to merge families because people have different customs.

And people were just like raised so differently.

Even people who were raised similar at its core, like, even, you know, people who were raised in the same town, same religion, same whatever, like, even like similar people have differences in how they were raised and like customs and stuff.

So,

but I do feel like if something bothers you, like, it's never a bad thing to speak your truth without asking for anything.

I don't think everything that bothers a person needs to be spoken.

That's actually so true.

Honestly, I'm truly stumped.

I really don't know.

I would like people to sound off in the comments.

Yeah, yeah, maybe you've been through something similar.

Yeah, and you've had like either a good outcome or it's something you've swallowed.

This is where we need to rely on our network.

Yeah, that's so true.

It's beyond us.

We're limited in our knowledge of this.

And I have literally like no, nothing even remotely similar in my life experience to like hark back to.

Yeah, I agree.

Toasters, sound off.

Great.

Sound off.

One, two.

All right, are you ready for our third and vital deer toasters?

I'm ready.

Hey, Jackson Claude, I feel bad even sharing this, but I have to get it off my chest and get some advice.

My boyfriend recently shared with me that he's super self-conscious about his nipples because they're quote puffy and they make him look overweight.

If you Google puffy nipples, you'll understand what I mean.

It's definitely a genetic thing considering his brother has them too.

I feel weird even looking at his brother's nipples.

Anyways, he recently discovered these little bandages that cover them up and make his chest look more normal under shirts.

Since then, he's had to rip them off when his shirt comes off when we're getting intimate.

And that act gives me the creeps.

It honestly ruins the mood when he has to turn around, rip the bandages off, and then get back to whatever we were doing.

He's such a supportive king whenever I feel self-conscious, so I don't want to make him feel bad, but I'm really getting the ick about this.

Please help a girl out over these nipples.

Every piece of advice is welcome.

Wow.

Another one that is so tough.

I think this is something you got to swallow.

Really?

Yeah, because you said like he's such a supportive king.

Anything about your body, you feeling self-conscious.

And you know what?

I think for a guy to admit like that something's bothering him and then to like actually do something about it is a level of vulnerability that is, we should admire and we should encourage that.

So you then to be like, it grosses me out.

Like, you know what?

You could tell him, leave on, leave them on.

Or like, I don't know know if it's is it the act of ripping them off i think it's the act of ripping them off the reminder that they're there and the the the break in

the flow of sexy time yeah to do this i understand what she's saying completely oh by the way i completely understand but i'm saying like for the health and sanctity of your relationship like i do think you just have to get over it And maybe because it's new, it's giving you the ick.

And once it becomes customary, like you'll forget about it.

But I think like you should really try

to look past it, honestly.

That's really, you're asking a lot.

I know, but imagine the destruction to his self-confidence that she actually sits him down and says it.

I know.

Like, no.

Why are these so hard today?

No, I know.

Like, is it us or is it are these queries?

No, these queries are particularly

divisive.

And dear toasters woke up today and chose violence.

Like, I, I feel, like, in the last one, I really really had absolutely no idea what to say.

In this one, I feel like you should, you should, you have to, like, work on getting over it.

I actually feel strongly about that.

What if you, like, suggested you guys shower before

every time?

Not every time, but maybe, like, maybe eventually he'll stop wearing them.

Like, maybe he's just going through a phase of like being, so you just have to get over this patch.

But if you were like, let's shower, so then he has to take them off first, and then you can, like, properly enter the routine.

Yeah, I guess, but like that seems so strategic and kind of calculating when you could just learn to accept it.

Like honestly.

Okay.

I really feel like

I get it.

Like I just want to say I'm not judging you.

Like I completely

get the ick.

If they hurt to take off.

And so it's like.

Yeah, if he has hairs around his nipple?

Yeah.

Yeah, how are you supposed to go from like being in the moment to then like watching someone rip off what's essentially like a really painful band-aid?

No, I know two of them.

Why doesn't he leave them on?

Is that more of a nick?

Like nipples for men are like not like a big deal.

Yeah, you could say just leave it, babe.

Try.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Try.

That's a good one.

This was tough, honestly.

This is tough, but like I you have our sympathies, honestly.

Like you're in a pickle and I feel you're in a pickle.

But you're a good girlfriend that you even care enough to like

want to protect his feelings.

Yeah.

I just, I don't think you'll ever really regret like just ignoring it, but I do think if you say something, like you might regret it.

Like, cause like he might feel so self-conscious.

You know?

Like set off

a chain reaction.

Yeah.

I don't think you will regret not bringing it up.

No, but that depends on like what kind of person you are.

Like.

And there's no right or wrong answer, but like, would you rather be uncomfortable about something?

Or would you rather like be fine with something, but know that someone someone else is uncomfortable about something?

Wait, phrase a question again?

Like, would you rather be uncomfortable

or have the other person be uncomfortable and you are fine and you're like me?

Me.

You'd rather be the uncomfortable one.

Because then, if we're both uncomfortable, not only am I uncomfortable, but I'm also then double uncomfortable knowing like what is he thinking?

Yeah, no, I agree I'm the same way, um,

but everyone's different.

I think, I think, based on our conversation, I think you have to get over it.

And tell him he doesn't need to take them off.

Or maybe, like, when he's taking them off, like, you go do something quickly, like, for yourself, so you don't have to worry about it.

Fetch a snack.

Fetch a snack, pee, something.

Like, yeah, yeah.

Get the lunch.

Put on music.

Yes.

Every time he takes them off, you go to put on music.

Yeah.

I'm curious if the nipples bothered you before, you know, he got them taped up.

Didn't sound like it.

yeah

interesting i'm sticking firm

i like this solution of busy yourself during that time with something that's a mood enhancer to counteract the mood de-enhancer also very good advice a candle

a sexy playlist

yeah

oils

start massaging his back while he rips at his front

Isn't that good?

That is good.

Thank you.

Everyone was actually deeply vulnerable with us this week, so we really appreciate it.

Reminder, if you want to submit, there are now two ways, dear toasters at gmail.com or head over to the toastpodcast.com.

Scroll down.

There's a dear toaster submission box.

That's our show.

Tomorrow we are in studio with Ben Soffer, boy with no job, good guys, host, founder of Spritz, CEO and founder.

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Hope you guys have an amazing Wednesday.

Happy hump day.

Don't forget to hump someone you love.

And we'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya.

Bye.