Fast Five Flop Era: Monday, June 12th, 2023

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Monday.

Hope everybody had a blessed and sacred weekend.

Speaking of blessedness and sacrocity, it's Jax.

Hey, Jax.

Hi, Turdy Lou, little turtle.

Little, it's turtle time with Turdy Lou.

Turtle time.

Hey, Clurdio, how are you doing?

You know what?

I'm doing okay.

I had a bout of food poisoning last night.

I believe that's what it was.

I don't really want to get into it, but it was giving Notavirus circa 2021.

I am triggered.

I am traumatized.

I'm like still deeply unwell, but I'm much better.

And I'm feeling grateful that you're on bed rest so that we don't have to go into the studio today.

We're both podcasting from home and honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm in no shape to be leaving the house.

So what I should be saying is, yada welcome.

Pretty much.

Pretty much.

That's what you should be saying.

What can I say except yada welcome?

It's so great to be back on the mic on the ones and the twos with Jax, you know?

Yeah, it is.

I missed you.

We podcasted on Thursday, but then Friday, your big episode with Jax dropped.

That's why it feels like it's been so long.

Tirdie Lou making waves, making headlines.

All right, everyone, what did you think about the Jax episode?

I thought it was quite redeeming.

You know, Jax, like, he talks a lot.

And, you know, we kind of have that in common.

You know, we like to cut each other off.

And

I was really kind of, you know, mindful to be measured and speak when spoken to because it wasn't about me.

And I think I did a good job of like not

speaking over him while he was speaking over me, you know?

Yeah.

No, it was good, but you're also just like friends.

So it doesn't have to be like 60 minutes.

It could be more of a conversation.

And also that's what a podcast is.

And I was really excited because you were just podcasting.

Because the A V queen in me was so excited that we got to use our new third camera.

I don't know if you guys noticed on YouTube.

We had not one, not two, but three angles.

And it was really exciting to be able to test that out with Jacks.

And I think, I think it turned out swimmingly.

But you didn't use your new AI.

No, no.

And I don't want people knowing that I'm using AI.

Don't share that with them.

Okay, sorry.

Turdy doesn't use AI.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I definitely don't use AI software to edit.

Someone a while ago made some TikTok videos of my voice using AI.

You had sent them to me.

They were so funny.

And I re-watched them recently because I was just like telling Zach, because we were talking about AI.

And he was like, don't you worry that the toast could be replaced by AI.

I was like, no, I've seen a script and it's really terrible.

So that's fine.

But I actually did, there were these videos that recreated my voice and like said stuff that I would say.

And now I can't get it out of my head.

Okay, but it did not sound like you.

It did a little bit upon re-watching.

And then also, like, I guess the person who made the TikTok wrote the script and they know how I speak because it was like, no, that's Turdi's book.

I can't sign that.

Come on, brew.

Mommy needs a drink.

But

that's me.

Yeah, but that's not AI because there was a human being behind behind it.

That's true.

You can't take the humanity out of me.

You can't take the humanity out of the toast.

And that's why I sleep well knowing AI is not coming for my job.

I do sleep well, like, on that front, you know, but I also was warm and I need to get a pregnancy pillow.

And I'm not sleeping, like, that well.

I actually, I didn't sleep that well either because of the food poisoning, but just know the food poisoning was keeping me up and not the future of AI.

Yeah, no, just know it was like whether or not to buy a pregnancy pillow.

And if so, which one would I buy was keeping me up?

I just feel like the one on Amazon, like the one that comes up suggested, is good enough.

That's what I bought last time.

Too big and not helpful enough for how much space it takes up.

Then I got a different one that's by like Boppy.

It's just like two balls that it's actually much better, but I feel like I could do even better this time.

Knowing all right, put it out there.

See what the toasters recommend.

Yeah, I got like a Facebook ad for one yesterday that looked really scrumptious.

Facebook ads are so effective.

It's disgusting.

Yeah, they really are.

We share a Facebook, so I get like a lot of kids' stuff, which

all Taylor Swift videos all the time.

Oh, really?

All Taylor.

Like, I know everything about her and everything that goes on at her concerts.

That's so funny that, like, you're getting my targeted information and I'm getting your targeted information.

I know.

Why can't they figure out?

Figure it out.

Like, based on device.

It's not that hard.

Mark, mark.

They're so smart, but they just miss the mark.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Yes, yes, they did.

Yes, they did.

So we've got a great show.

We've got stories.

We have so much TV to recap because Jackie's been on her bedrest grind with her new television from Costco that we bought on Instacart.

And she's kind of, she's putting in the work.

She's retroactively recapping everything.

Yeah, so I'm all caught up on Real Houses of New Jersey from last week.

This weekend, I got all caught up on Summer House.

I watched the whole season and the whole reunion, it was only two parts.

And I am just shocked by the way that I feel and how it's so out of step with the narrative of the show.

Yeah.

And out of step with Andy.

Did you watch both reunions?

Yes.

Andy like took a side and took a stand

and

I just like, I can't believe how

opposite I feel.

But I'll save it for the TV recap, but that was just really shocking to me.

And the TV recap, I also watched the fourth and final season of Never Have I Ever, which like it's just like a show for teenagers that I'm obsessed with.

Ben is even more in love with it than I am.

So I'm going to save that for the TV recap too, but highly recommend.

It's a great bed rest show.

It's like short episodes.

It's funny.

It's light.

It's cute.

It really gives a deep respect and admiration for Indian culture as well.

Thanks for the recommendation.

I'll add it to the list, though.

I'm going through my list really slowly.

Because I don't have like that much time to watch TV.

And then at night, I watch with Zach.

So we have like our together show.

We're watching Love and Death.

And we watch the third episode and he fell asleep for the whole thing.

So now we're kind of at a crossroads.

We're at a crossroads.

Like, do you move on without him?

Or now you have to re-watch the third episode?

Do we re-watch it together?

Do I just fill him in and we could forge ahead?

Or do we go our separate ways?

The thing is, it's like, it's only a seven-episode series.

So there's not like a lot of fodder.

Like, every episode like needs to be watched.

And it's good.

And he should.

I felt like that episode, actually, like, I could just tell you what happened because it was just like getting us to a place where now things are going to pop off.

You know, like the show starts really on episode four, like the whole thing, but, but I don't know, context is important.

But he like doesn't pay that close attention anyway like he always is okay so just move on he's always on his phone like he's not like me like if I didn't hear something like I will rewind yeah me too me too all right so maybe just move on otherwise we're gonna be stuck on episode three forever and maybe it's important for Zach to learn you know the consequences of his actions you fall asleep you miss stuff yeah yeah at least like say you're going to sleep on it I'll watch Summerhouse oh that is so Ben like we're watching something and I could feel his presence like shutting down I'm like are you going to sleep like just tell me I'll turn the TV off we We can go to bed together.

Like, he's like, no, no, I'm just resting my eyes.

Like, always resting his eyes.

And I'm like, no, you're not.

And it's one of my biggest pet peeves.

Like, I hate being awake by myself.

So if Ben's going to sleep, like, I will go to sleep.

Go to sleep.

Go to sleep.

Yeah.

It's so, it's like one of my biggest pet peeves.

That's so annoying.

Well, speaking of going to sleep, it's like been taking me a while to fall asleep these days because I'm just so uncomfortable.

So I started a new book last night.

The Senator's Wife by Liv Constantine.

Have you read anything by her?

I have.

You have.

What has she written?

Us.

They're all, you know, like.

Is it the last time I saw you with the red necklace, the red book with the necklace on the cover?

Yes, yes.

You recommend it.

I loved that book.

Okay, so I'll let you know about this one.

Okay.

I'm like 20%.

It's good.

And also in some other book news.

Yeah, by the way, I want to clear up some rumors going around about us because I got so many messages about this.

What's the rumor?

The rumor.

Okay, so a lot of people saw critically acclaimed Australian queen author Sally Hepworth yesterday revealed the cover and title of her new book.

She sent it out, I think, in her newsletter, and she gave like a little synopsis about what the book is about.

And, you know, the toasters were immediately put on alert because the book is about three sisters named Claudia, Jackie, and Margo.

And everyone was like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

And I posted it on my story.

I'm like, not us being, you know, the inspiration for these title, these, the names of these characters.

And so many people were messaging me like, oh my God, what a crazy coincidence.

Like, is this intentional?

And yeah, it's intentional.

Like, Sally reached out to me.

She was like, I'm going to name

some characters after you and Jackie as Jackie's full name, Jacqueline.

And I was like, yes, but like, you can do Jackie or Jackie.

My full name is Claudia.

And we were like, we've known about this for like a while, like maybe a year.

And we were like freaking out.

And then a few months later, she was like, wait, I think I'm going to do three sisters now.

What are your other sisters' names?

And I was like, Olivia and Margot.

And she chose Margo.

And Margo's like a big reader.

So Margo's really, and Margo loves Sally Hepworth.

Margo's like so excited.

I don't even know if Olivia would have cared like if she got named after because she doesn't read.

But I wanted to clear up that this wasn't some sort of cool winky dink or like we knew.

We've been known.

We've been in the know.

No, it's as cool as it sounds.

Like it's not like an accidentally cool thing that happened.

Like it.

it was intentional and Sally chose us to be her sisters.

I just hope that they're good scenes, you know?

I actually, I think that they're like kind of mischievous, like girlies.

But Sally always, the last Sally Hepworth book I wrote, like the crazy girl, her name was Heather.

And she wrote on the, you know, before the title page, it's like a disclaimer that she did a

contest on her Instagram.

She gave like a charity auction.

Yeah, and the person who won got to be like the name.

So she was like, while Heather is horrible, Heather in real life is actually amazing.

And these two characters are not, you know, even remotely similar, but they just share a name.

So I do believe we'll be getting our own page like that too, hopefully.

Oh, hopefully.

Yeah, she's always like just wheeling and dealing names of characters in her book.

I guess when you write so many books with so many characters, it's like, yeah, you could start just naming them after people you love.

No, totally.

And I'm honored.

I cannot wait to read this book.

It's one of the most exciting things that's ever happened to us.

I know.

And because Sally Hepworth is like one, probably top three author of mine.

Same.

Period.

I just finished A Soulmate, which I love.

Like, she has never flopped.

So, like, to know that there's a book that's loosely inspired by our beings.

I don't think it's, by the way, I don't think it's even remotely inspired by us.

No, no, that's why I said loosely inspired by our beings.

But it's not.

Like it has, it's just like just an, even if it's just a name, it's extremely loose.

But no, we're not inspired.

Like I feel like Sally makes that really clear.

Like I feel like I know Sally, you know?

No, I know that like there's not going to be two that do a podcast and one with red hair.

Like I know that.

Oh my God.

I would love if they were podcasters.

But that's the thing.

Like the characters have nothing to do with us besides our names.

They're loosely inspired by our beings.

And that just means our name, okay?

Yeah, okay.

But like, in case one of them turns out to be like a murderer or something, that's not us.

We don't murder.

Okay.

I don't, whatever.

I'm flattered.

The end.

No, I'm guffawed beyond,

I'm awestruck.

Yeah.

When does it come out?

I think October.

Yeah.

And I still haven't read her recent book, The Soulmate, because it's my select for book club.

And

my selection is not up for like another month or two.

So I have a long way.

I have to wait.

Who chooses in October?

Maybe you should be like, you know, big swing and dick.

I'm going to choose the book that like is named after me.

Oh my God.

I feel like actually like, I think there's like two more people.

Like I might be October, but no, it's only June.

I don't know.

I can also ask to be moved.

Like the group is very flexible.

We actually had to swap this month Natalie for Michelle just because of like some scheduling conflicts.

I think I'm October for the Redheads.

I think you should choose it.

I think

Sally Hepworth is like a safe choice for a book club.

Her books have never been bad, and it's always like a really good thriller.

And a thriller is always going to like keep a book club back, you know, keep them in good spirits.

Yeah.

And I think by then we'll be ready for another thriller, like because we're all trying to do something different with like these most recent choices because we were reading like the same book over and over again.

But by then, like I'll be back to

thriller.

Well, you know what it is?

It's thrilling.

It is thrilling.

It's a thrill.

Tis a thrill.

Are you reading anything?

No, I like haven't been able to pick up my Kindle.

You know what I mean?

Like I read like four books in one week, like two weeks ago.

Yeah.

And I'm just like, I'm on a break, you know?

I haven't even, I have no urge to reach for my Kindle and I'm just leaning in.

My break just ended.

My watch has ended.

And you know what?

I'll have to pick up my Kindle for my book club anyway.

So I'll probably then get back into it.

That's what's so great about a book club.

Like you're, you can't ever break for that long.

Yeah.

Like the max you can do is like a month.

Yeah.

It keeps you accountable.

Yeah, I love that.

Before we dive in, I wanted to tell everyone about just kind of like the craziest thing that happened to me, two, actually.

There's two monumental things that happened to me this weekend.

Does one of them have to do with your far

One of them does have to do with my forehead.

I feel like everybody knows this because I posted it on Instagram.

But in case you listen to this podcast and don't have an Instagram, in which case, how did you find us?

I have been walking around with the biggest fucking like bruise/slash hickey/slash circle of popped blood vessels right at the center of my forehead.

It couldn't be bigger.

It couldn't be more omnipresent.

It couldn't be more like centered on my face.

And it won't go away.

It was an anti-related injury.

And the amount of people, mothers, fathers, fathers, parents, aunts, uncles who messaged me saying, oh my God, the same thing happened to me, is absurd.

Like, how did I not know that this was a thing?

I was at Jackie's house.

What day was this?

Friday?

I guess so.

Yeah.

We were doing makeup in bed and stuff.

Oh, yeah.

And, you know, obviously Harry climbed into bed with us and it was amazing.

And we had a bunch of toys on the bed.

And he had some of his, they're bath toys, correct?

Yeah, they were bath toys that hadn't made it to the bath yet.

They were like a new

unboxing.

And they're cool because they're like little fidget spinners, but they suction to the bathtub.

So when Harry's, you know, getting his ass washed, somebody can, you know, get to business and Harry can just fiddle with his, with his toys and not be bothered.

And I was like, oh, how cute.

Suction.

And I was like, I wonder if this will suction to my forehead.

And it did.

And then I was like making it spin and Harry.

I mean, he wasn't like, he didn't think it was like the funniest best thing ever, but I got like a little bit of a chuckle.

Like nothing crazy.

Yeah, yeah.

At least it wasn't.

At least I didn't get nothing, you know?

Imagine if I had this big thing on my forehead and he didn't even laugh.

No, he smiled.

He was appreciative, but it wasn't like his favorite thing that Auntie Koya has ever done.

No.

And when I popped it off, you were like, oh my God, you have a big thing on your forehead.

And I was like, I figured I would.

I figured it would just be there for like the next 10 minutes or whatever.

No, it's been three days.

I'm pretty sure it's getting worse.

It's like purple.

It's not getting worse.

It's getting better.

Okay, I just did order some Arnica gel.

That's what everyone told me.

It like helps bruises heal.

It's like what you put on your face after Botox.

And it's pretty much been ruining my life.

I went out Friday and Saturday night and I had to take on the most makeup of all time.

I don't know how to color correct.

I don't know what to do with this thing.

I went to a dinner party and got seated next to Martha Stewart and I just know she was looking at my forehead the whole time.

I just feel like if she was, what she wasn't, and you're so beautiful and distracting that like no one would even notice.

Plus I saw the way you looked at you really couldn't tell even with a flash.

But she would have respected that it was like an anti-related injury.

Like it's a funny story.

Of course.

And Martha is a Gran.

Like Martha knows the beauty of, you know, being kind of like a second mother to a child.

Yeah.

So she and I had that in common, which was pretty cool.

Like I got invited to this dinner party and I just like RSVP'd.

I didn't like read the email or anything.

So I honestly, I got to suck doing that because I didn't know like what I was walking into.

I feel like I was like a little bit underdressed.

And I go to my seat and I'm like literally sitting next to Martha Stewart and I was so excited.

And I really, I did my best to like be cool and funny.

And when she found out I was a comic she was like I was asking her a million questions like about sports illustrated and she was so proud of sports illustrated and I told her like what a major moment it was for the culture and how like we're so undeserving of Martha's greatness you know

and then we were like chatting and I was asking her a lot of questions about herself and then she started to ask me and I was like trying to be so funny and like dazzling and I think I dazzled I think she was like really I think she was into me she kept like leaning to me and like asking me questions about people around us and I made her laugh a few times and honestly once I made Martha laugh like I knew I could go home If you can make Martha laugh, you can do anything.

Yeah, because Martha's like very,

very famous.

Like, it's actually crazy.

I put, I, we posted, I posted a photo of me and Martha.

And I, of course, I was like, Martha, do you like this photo?

Do you want me to FaceTune it?

And she was like, no, I love it.

I'm like, okay, great.

I didn't want to be disrespectful in any way.

The amount of, like, that was probably the most responses I've gotten to a message like about posting ever with any celebrity.

Like, Martha's so famous.

It's kind of crazy.

No, and it's like, she's famous for her taste and her acumen.

Like it's a different sort of

thing, but it's also even like more intimidating to sit next to her.

It's not like she's like, you know, an amazing actress and she's in these movies and then that's separate from who she is.

Like she's famous for who she is in her soul.

No, but I would argue, like, depending on how old you are, like your connection to Martha, she's so multi-generationally famous.

And like, I'm sure different people are obsessed with her for different reasons.

I'm sure like a younger crew is obsessed with like her snoop dog thing, but like an older woman is more into into like her pies, you know?

Yeah

It's she's so famous.

It was so crazy.

She's so famous, but I guess you're also famous for your soul turdy.

So maybe you guys had that in common.

For my soul?

Yeah, like for who you are.

I guess.

You know, for like your personality.

I don't want to be compared to me and your brain.

Honestly, I don't want to be compared to Martha.

Like are you trying to destroy me?

Like I'll become a monster.

I don't know.

Turdy Lou and Martha Stew.

Iconic duo.

Iconic do, except like something, probably one of the worst things that could ever happen to a human being happened to me at this dinner party.

Oh goodness.

Oh, do I already know what it is?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, good, good.

I was like, what else?

So this dinner party was to honor this like really major Egyptian archaeologist.

He's like responsible for...

all of the incredible discoveries in like the pyramids, the Sphinx.

He's so smart.

And he's like this hilarious older gentleman.

And Ben was talking to him.

His name is Dr.

Zahi Hawass.

And he was just like, he made a little speech thanking everyone for welcoming him to New York.

And he was hysterical.

And Ben was talking to him, just, he was asking questions about us.

And Ben was like, oh, my wife does stand up.

And he turns to me because he was also sitting on the other side of me.

He was like, I love stand-up comedy.

And I was like, oh, great, me too.

He's like, do something.

I was like, oh, my God, I will die.

And everyone at the table was like, yeah, do it.

Do it.

So I was like, okay, I'll do a little something for the table.

And he's like, no, stand up.

Cause there were four tables at this dinner party.

They're like, they start clinking their glasses.

They're like, do something for everyone.

And I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, this is my worst nightmare.

Really?

But it's one of those situations, if I had said no, like that's such a losery thing to do.

Beyond.

That's like when someone's like, oh, didn't you know this person has an amazing voice?

And then they won't sing for you.

Like it's fucking annoying.

Yeah.

It's not the same because like you can't just like do comedy.

You know what I mean?

It's so personal.

It's so personal.

But like I was certainly like this man like is so the mayor of New York came to this dinner party.

Like this man is so respect and he wanted to hear me.

So I I was like, I have to do it.

And I just, you know what?

I was actually really proud of myself.

I didn't even, I didn't, I was like, oh, sure, of course.

Like, I didn't say no.

I stood up.

I wasn't nervous.

I wanted to like feel confident.

So I just felt confident.

I just decided to be confident.

And I did like a little bit from my,

from my

special.

Special, which is coming out soon.

And I haven't been on stage since January.

So I was like kind of rusty.

And I was just also just trying to feel like the vibe of the crowd.

This was like, you know, an intellectual, sort of older crowd.

But they, you know, they loved it.

Ben said I did a good job.

I definitely wasn't like amazing.

I don't think I was going to, you know, get any offers for, you know, private gigs, but I didn't embarrass myself.

And I did, I think I did good.

And I saw Dr.

Zahi like cackle at this one joke and that made me feel so good.

I did like a few minutes.

I really, when it was over, oh my God, I, I was not okay.

Like I, I was like, I have to leave.

Yeah, that's a lot, but I'm proud of you.

And that's really cool.

No, it was really cool.

And I got to meet Martha.

And hopefully Martha thought it was funny.

So like I'm good.

Yeah, I'm sure she did.

She's kind of like a comic queen.

She is.

And I feel like she's so unserious.

That's what's so surprising about her.

Like her whole vibe is like rich coastal grandmother, like expensive weddings, expensive homes at the beach.

But like in her real life, I feel like she's like so low-key.

She was wearing like sandals.

She was so chill.

Yeah.

Very cool.

Yeah, it was like a cool weekend.

And then I got to hang out with Harry on Sunday.

And he was...

Biggest celeb, biggest archaeologist, always excavating, always discovering new things.

Constantly digging.

Dig, dig, dig.

And he was in, if you like, are around babies, you know, like they have different moods and they're always like cute and sweet.

But he was in like a really special mood.

Yesterday, it was actually as though he was delivered straight from heaven.

Like the way he gave me so many kisses, he was cackling at Auntie.

Cackle, cackle, cackle, choke, choke, choke, choke, choke.

Oh my God.

It was one of the more special times of my life.

Honestly, it was better than Martha.

No offense, Martha.

I love you, Queen.

Oh, that's so beautiful.

Yeah, you got him at

the right time.

At his finest.

Yeah.

It was amazing.

You know, it was a really nice weekend.

Got to see my turdy loot

and

catch up.

Can we give like a bed rest update to everyone?

Like, how are you feeling?

How are you doing?

What's going on?

Yeah, I'm feeling as good as possible, you know, just trying to

stay busy as, you know, and

just, but I weirdly, I'm really busy.

Like, I'm not bored.

I feel like at the end of my pregnancy with Harry, I was also weirdly like just in bed all the time because I wasn't leaving the house.

Um, and I don't feel like that, where I'm just like stir-crazy.

Well, because you're also like a full-time mother, right?

There's so much from the bed, right?

From the bed, like, we're still podcasting.

Like, I still have other work to do.

And so, like, the day kind of like I, my day still has like structure and routine that I'm just like kind of doing everything from the bed.

But no, I feel good.

Just, you know, for everyone who like knows the whole story of the cervix, like I'm just trying to keep it tight.

Keep it closed.

You're really pregnant.

Like you have, you honestly like have like a round belly.

Yeah, it's mad big and like all the, you know, pregnancy, like all your organs are like compressed.

And so I'm just like short of breath.

And oh no.

It's like, it's just a lot, but it's all good.

Okay.

Thank God.

Fabulous.

We love the bed.

I was having this conversation at dinner with Taylor Strecker because she, um,

her and Taylor are like always asking about you, making sure you're good.

And she was like, is Jackie like loving bedrests, like hating bed rest?

Cause like for me, you know, bedrest sounds like heaven.

I'm like, no, same, but Jackie has like a one-year-old.

Like, it's not the same.

Like, it's actually torture.

Yeah, it's not the same.

It's actually torture.

And it's like, I'm in New York and there's so many things that like, I wish I could be doing here.

But I guess like if I wouldn't be in New York if not for like the circumstances.

So it's like fruitless to just be like i wish we could be doing this and that but there's like you know there's a couple things it's like it would be so nice to just be able to go and do right that i can't do even like going to the studio is like a treat yeah

and i'm here and i can't do it but it is what it is no and harry's loving life in new york yeah he is he loves the adventure He's booked and busy every day.

I can't even get time with him on the calendar.

Yeah, you got to get on his schedule.

His schedule is like kind of crazy.

It's kind of crazy.

yeah it's kind of crazy because he wakes up at six so like how the day is spent before you even wake up no and it's like i wake up and podcast and then by the time i'm done podcasting harry's ready for his nap yeah so it's like i can't really like logically see him on the weekdays before two o'clock yeah because then he has like have lunch you guys don't sink really before one it's true it sucks and something that i've just been kind of waiting to say um since uh a few minutes ago is that what i've noticed yeah is that underneath your sweatshirt today it seems as though you're wearing spooky, scary skeleton pajamas, a new addition.

Yeah, okay.

I put these on intentionally to podcast with you from home.

I wanted to give you like a little bit of a spook, but then right before we started, I got freezing.

So I put a sweatshirt on on top.

So I know you can't see.

I'm wearing the matching pants.

You can't get by me.

I'm wearing matching pants and top of my new spooky, scary skeleton pajamas.

For those who know who've been following for a while, the pajamas I wore.

pretty much every day for the last five years have disintegrated and i did toss them people were really mad.

They're like, how could you not keep them?

Like take them to the tailor.

Okay.

I'm like, okay, we need to sleep.

You don't know the sweeper.

If that's a sink, you don't know the sweeper.

That's true.

Not only do I sweep, like my house, like if there's clutter, it's gone in a second.

I don't have anything I don't need in this house, but also like

we're headed for a recession.

Like I'm not about to, you know, spend $100 repairing a pair of pajamas from Target.

Okay.

Like we have to, logic has entered the room.

Yeah.

And she's the sweeper.

That was like when we were talking about sandwiches, people were giving us recommendations.

They're like, Turdy, you have to try like cheese, mayo, lettuce, and tomato.

I'm like, have you met Turdy?

Are you new here?

They said Mayo.

Mayo.

Can you imagine somebody telling me that?

They said mayo.

Well, it's nice to have new toasters, you know, so I'm not going to knock it.

So I'm not going to knock it.

I'm so thankful to explain it.

It's a sign of new life.

It's a sign of new life.

If you guys don't know that Turdy would never touch Mayo with a 10-foot pole, yet her husband is made of Mayo.

Yeah.

Then welcome to toast.

We should do a Patreon, kind of like those games they play on Watch Robins Live.

Wood, turdy, eat it.

And you just like rattle off things, and I probably wouldn't eat most of them.

So the answer is no.

Yeah, it would just be like kind of a boring episode.

Like, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, but there's some weird things that you eat.

Like two.

True, cottage cheese.

Yeah, I guess that's the only one.

No, I also weirdly eat.

Do you like the filter fish?

Jackie.

B-F-F-R.

Be fucking Varil.

Yeah, but sometimes you'll put aside your

distaste for things like when it comes to your culture.

Kasha Varnishka.

Kashavarnishkas.

Like you would never catch me eating lentils, but Kasha Varnishka, the traditional Eastern European dish, love.

Right, so that's why I feel like Kefilta fish isn't that crazy.

No, it is.

I love it.

That's like the

of all like the Jewish foods, that's probably the craziest one.

And I would.

Claudia, there's like crazy like intestines.

Like.

oh, yeah, like Kreplach, yeah, even chopped liver, even chopped liver, liver

chopped.

That's but I still stand by that.

Gefilt is like still one of the crazier ones.

Okay, you just gotta get a little horseradish on it.

So

absolutely not.

That's so never gonna happen.

So good.

Um, like, I guess, I guess, right?

We could dive in.

I guess

if we must,

yeah, yeah, there,

yeah, there's some things that we need to discuss that need turdy and take.

I guess.

I just like would so much prefer to keep talking about ourselves.

I know.

I can't believe, believe.

I can't believe how like the Fast Five is really in its flop era.

No, it is.

Jackie and I were having this conversation before we recorded because she spent 40 minutes looking for stories and when it shouldn't be that hard.

And the Fast Five is definitely in its flop era, but I don't feel like it has anything to do with us.

It is the summer.

Everything, no matter what industry you work in, i guess unless you work in like pools but the the summer is slow for everyone and everything celebrities

yeah celebrities are like some block you know or if you live in like a summer beach town yeah like if you're like in montauk or something or they're like cousins but like besides that do you like my reference to the kids cousins i did besides that like it's notoriously slow for a lot of industries pop culture being one of them celebrities are in greece in the south of france they're not making news like they're taking the summer off so i don't feel bad that the fast five is in its flop era, honestly.

Yeah, no, and it's like, just like anything else, you know, it comes in waves and things go up and down.

Like, it's not, it has nothing to do with the fast five as a premise or anything.

It's just, it's crazy.

But maybe that's just because we're like, also, we in our personal banter

are in our what's the opposite of flop era?

Um,

I don't know.

Wait, that's like a really good question.

Like peaking?

Yeah, I guess.

You know,

because, oh my God, I just went so crazy the other day.

And I watched a little bit of an episode of The Toast from April 2018, the first month of The Toast, which is like,

I know.

You think

it would be horrible.

And like that I would, that it's self-harm to do such a thing.

Yeah.

But honestly, it was really cute.

And

Jackie, my mole, I was so ugly.

That was before my chin surgery, before my mole removal.

Okay, fine, but you, but you sat on your other side, so like we didn't see your mole on camera.

Okay.

Okay.

Obviously, like it wasn't perfect.

And I'm so glad we got rid of YouTube Live because we were always just looking at our phones, reading the comments.

Like

waiting for people to respond.

So lame.

But one, it was really cute.

And two, we literally got into the fast five after one minute of speaking.

No, I mean, I'm looking at my computer right now.

It's been 30 minutes.

I know.

But I was like shocked.

I was like, girls, what's going on in your lives?

Why are we getting into the stories?

Maybe we had nothing going on, honestly.

That was kind of, you know,

a dark time for us.

A quiet time for us.

It was quiet on all fronts.

Social, personal, business.

Yeah, maybe that's what it was.

But honestly, I was mostly surprised with how little I cringed, considering like

everything

that is in the rear view is cringe-worthy to me.

Yes, but I actually, that feels familiar.

I feel like when I've seen like old clips, like we're so funny.

Yeah, and we're just like cute and we're having fun and we're young and taking a chance, you know, trying something new, putting ourselves out there, starting our own business.

Like it's sweet.

When we started the toast, we truly were the definition of two people with nothing to lose.

Like we had nothing.

Like literally, we didn't have a brand deal.

Like we were so, we were like renegade outlaws, radioactive.

Like we had nothing to lose.

And honestly, there is truly nothing funnier than somebody somebody with nothing to lose.

Yeah, but I feel like as much as, yeah, we had nothing to lose.

So we were willing to, you know, put it all out there and we weren't like embarrassed or anything.

But I also feel like we were really scared.

You know, I would have said we were like renegade, just like being crazy.

No, we we so desperately wanted and needed this show to be good.

Like we needed it to work.

We had had a successful show and we were like, we are not going down like this.

Yeah.

And we just like wanted people to like us.

Like we were just like,

I felt, you know what?

We're a little shy.

No, I felt like my name had been like besmirched, if that's the correct word.

And I felt so strongly that people were wrong about us.

Like they, you know, everybody got canceled.

Everybody hated us.

And they were wrong about us because like we are funny.

We are amazing.

We are such, I know we are.

Like I know who we are.

We are an amazing group of people.

And I was, I was

motivated to make people see that because I felt like they're wrong.

They are wrong about us.

And they were.

Yeah.

Tis true.

And they were.

Look at us now.

Oh, baby, look at us now.

Look at us now.

32 minutes of pre-fast five.

Look at us now.

Podcasting from home.

In the spooky, scary skeleton pajamas, not much has changed.

Spooky, scary.

Yeah, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Spooky, scary skeleton send shivers down your spine.

Gorgeous.

Okay, now we.

All right, I guess.

Now, I guess, yeah.

Go.

Without further ado.

Here are the.

You go.

Here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

And the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Skims.

All right, you guys.

Undies, bras.

Jax and I have been through them all, but the Fits Everybody collection from Skims is the best.

We are no longer keeping the secret to ourselves.

The underwear feels like nothing we've ever worn before.

It is so stretchy and soft, it melts into your body and you forget you're even wearing it.

When it comes to bras and undies, Jax and I are are two girls with needs.

We are two very particular girls.

And I'm not going to lie, when I heard about the Skims Fits Everybody collection, I was like, okay, yeah, I'm sure it fits everybody.

But not me.

But not me.

Like I have so many different issues.

I have like rolls and pouches.

Like it's just not, it's not for everyone.

But Skims is the solution-oriented brand creating the next generation of underwear, loungewear, and shapewear for everybody.

So Jackie and I are two busty girls.

Jackie obviously has been through breastfeeding.

I just have the biggest tits of all time.

Like we have different needs.

And our favorite, favorite bras, we like like to call them our relaxation bras, are from skims.

So, I found out about these ones on TikTok, and they are everything.

So, the racer back bralette is the one I wear like around the house because I can't, I'm not one of those girls who can just walk around without wearing a bra.

Um, it's fabulous, and by the way, Jackie was the one who said to me when I was having crazy back problems, she's like, You need a new bra, you need a new bra.

And I now, every single day, wear the t-shirt bra.

From Skims.

And I have to tell you, my back problems are nearly non-existent.

And I'm being dead serious.

The Fits Everybody collection of underwear are lightweight, form-fitting, and essential.

The buttery soft fabric molds to your body and stretches to twice its size.

Believe the hype, this collection has over 90,000 five-star reviews for a reason.

Skims Fits Everybody Collection and more best-selling essentials are available now at skims.com.

Plus get free shipping on orders of over $75, all at skims.com.

Today's episode is also brought to you by a life-saving product that I heavily relied on this weekend, Liquid IV.

Proper functional hydration is essential, and Liquid IV is the number one powered hydration brand in America.

Their hydration brand multiplier is the one product you're missing in your daily routine.

Use it first thing in the morning, before a workout, when you feel a little run down in the afternoon, after a night out with friends, or on long flights.

I always have one in my travel bag, and I cannot tell you how how many times it has saved my life on a trip, whether I'm dehydrated from drinking or just so much travel, I'm like forgetting to drink water.

With just one stick, you can hydrate.

two times faster than water alone and you're gonna get a ton of essential vitamins.

Liquid IV comes in 12 delicious refreshing flavors to keep your hydration routine exciting.

The flavors are really good.

The vitamins that they have are B3, B5, B6, B12, and vitamin C.

And it's just so easy to down it.

You're getting hydrated.

You're getting a boost of vitamins.

It's made with quality ingredients.

It's non-GMO and it's free from gluten, dairy, and soy.

They partner with leading organizations to fund and foster innovative solutions that help communities protect both their water and their futures.

So to date, Liquid IV has donated over 39 million servings in over 50 countries around the world.

So you can feel good about what you're purchasing.

knowing you're making a difference.

Real people, real flavor, real hydrating.

Grab your Liquid IV in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use code toast at checkout.

This is just something you want to have in your house all the time.

You never know when you're going to need it and you don't want to like need it and not have it.

That's 20% off anything when you shop better hydration today using promo code toast at liquidiv.com.

Thank you, Claudia.

Yet welcome.

Our first story, some new couple news.

Milkshake singer Khaleese is reportedly dating actor Bill Murray.

I'm having a stroke.

Shook, confused.

I'm feeling scared.

Like I have quite literally no idea what's going on.

Right, okay.

So, the U.S.

Sun reported that Khaleese, who is 43, is reportedly dating the Ghostbusters actor who is 72.

Per the outlet, the two sparked romance rumors after Bill Murray watched the bossy singer perform at a recent show at the Mighty Hoopla Festival in South London last weekend.

He was also spotted supporting her at some of her other performances.

Sources close to the pair told the Sun that they were also seen together at the same hotel and have been getting close for a while after first meeting in the U.S.

Also, she posted

some bikini pics from Greece this weekend and seemed to respond to the rumors because someone commented, ma'am, would you care to address these Bill Murray allegations?

Because damn, what's he doing with all that?

And she said, LOL, no, babe, I wouldn't bother at all.

So I feel like she's saying I wouldn't bother to comment on these rumors.

Yeah.

Right, right.

Not that she wouldn't bother with Bill Murray.

Right.

But who who knows?

I mean, but I'm choosing to believe this couple and I ship.

I really do.

Okay, here's what's so funny because when you were like saying their age difference, I was like, oh, that's like really not so bad.

Like she's 42.

But like if he was 40 and she was 10, like the 30,

you know what I mean?

Like the 30 years, like it's actually a lot.

For sure.

30 years is a lot, but you cannot compare the 30 years between 10 and 40 to the 30 years between 40 and 70.

No, of course, by the way, my math was wrong.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to like make a joke out of that.

Not 40 and 10, like 20 and 50.

We would be like, ew.

But that's because like a 20-year-old's brain isn't fully developed and they're not like mature enough.

Even still, like, the older you get, like, those big age gaps aren't as big of a deal because, like, you are who you are at that point.

Like, and there's not that much the rapid development that happens when you're younger, like, really slows down once you get older.

So, yes, I thought you were gonna say 42-year-old man and 72-year-old woman.

If we would be saying the same thing, it would depend on the couple, honestly.

I think I would.

I think I'd be saying the same thing.

Yeah, I ship too.

To be honest, I wasn't entirely familiar with um

her like i obviously know milkshake but i don't like know her as a person or like an artist so if anything like bill murray kind of making her a star is is everything yeah i'm totally here for it i feel like people are really surprised but but are here for it Still positive.

Yes, I agree.

And I can't, I don't keep up with Bill Murray either.

So I don't really know like what the, what the read is on him like there's some bad stuff like is he not like beloved

he was beloved and then like very recently i think he was like fired from a movie or there was like i'm not entirely sure but like there were some weird things he was being accused of like you know not being like the most appropriate got it so that's starting to ring familiar i feel like we had a story on it yes right but like for so long he was like And I think he still is like considered one of the greatest comedy actors and very well respected.

but i do think he's had like you know uh a change in likability over the last few years yeah just like his shtick hasn't aged well right right and you know what you can't be doing comedy for that long without you know without the consequences yeah so i mean to me this is like an age-appropriate relationship weirdly yeah and so uh I should it's cute yeah, I have them lost.

Quite literally, no problem with this.

Yeah.

Wishing them, wishing them the best, honestly.

Wishing them the best.

Our next story, some other, not new couple news, but just two people in the same room, and I want to take your temperature.

Okay.

A source says that Irena Shake threw herself at Tom Brady at an A-list wedding this weekend.

And you would do it too.

Spies told Page 6 that fame model Irina Shake made a B-line for newly single Tom Brady at the much-talked about wedding of Joe Nahmud and Madison Nahedric last week and scarcely let him out of her sight throughout the weekend-long festivities.

But Shake's manager strenuously denied that account, telling Page 6 it's totally fictional, but they were both guests at the billionaire art heir's wedding in Sardinia last week.

Okay, well, let's just like talk about this as if it's true, because let me just say how I can see this being true because Irina Shake is a woman, you know, she's a human being.

And even though she's perfect and has dated, you know, the finest men that this country has to offer she's still human and tom brady is the most eligible bachelor right now and like she like her taste is the finest men that this country has to offer tom brady

is that note and tom brady's taste is the finest woman woman model

honestly irena shake and giselle are so similar looking and they have like really similar vibes um i could see her thinking oh he would be into me he was into giselle yeah no

like this is such a duh.

I can't believe we didn't think of it sooner.

Yeah, right.

I do hope that they conversed this weekend.

I feel like all they would need to do is have a conversation to realize, like, oh, we should date.

Even if it, even if we don't work out, like, you're my type, I'm your type.

We're both single.

Duh.

No, Jaggie, like, Irina Shake is copy and paste Giselle.

Tom Brady is copy and paste Bradley Cooper.

Like, this is literally the same couple, but just like a little different.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It makes it makes a lot of sense.

I mean, I found Irina Shake and people are saying this about me.

I'm mortified.

No, whether it was true or not.

Like the most desperate things about Irina Shake, like

about how she's so desperate, like how she's so desperate to have Bradley back.

Like that she just moves in a desperate way.

And I don't know if that's just who she is or like someone's out to get her.

Somebody, no, by the way.

She's not nice.

Somebody's totally out to get her.

Because like the last couple of things we've like spoken about her, it's like she's not like coming off looking amazing.

And she's constantly coming off like she's conning Bradley Cooper into getting back together with her.

Yes.

And then she's like staging photos to make it look like they're together when they're not.

And I don't know who's doing this to her, but she has enemies.

Yeah, either she has enemies or she's a desperate person.

And honestly, if she's a desperate person, like I've truly, like, I never thought I would have anything in common with Irina Shaikh and like it really makes me relate to her.

Like even the most beautiful women in the world are like desperate for attention and love.

And you know what?

That's the great equalizer, desperation.

Yeah, but I guess like when your type is the greatest men that this country has to offer, like

you got to be desperate.

Yeah,

it's a hard place to be.

Like maybe if she could like lower her bar a little bit, like there would be more men, like more, a bigger pool and she wouldn't have to act so desperately.

I just want to say, like, obviously I'm a married woman and I'm not, you know, like a great beauty.

I'm not like one of the most beautiful women.

I'm not like one of the most beautiful women in the country.

But like if I was, can I tell you, and I really feel like this would be true, like I feel like I would not be going after the Tom Brady's and the Bradley Coopers.

Like it's too much pressure.

I feel like they're so much better in like idea than they are in actuality.

I feel like, you know, they're not going to have like the best personalities.

And then it's like, I have to be perfect my whole life because like men age so well.

Like I would honestly like, no, and I feel like I say this all the time, like nobody has

designed a life better for themselves than Miranda Kerr.

So, what would you go for?

I would go for like the tech billionaire nerd who's like still cute and handsome, but he's not like the greatest, hottest.

Like, Evan Spiegel is very handsome.

He's like a cute Jewish nerd.

He will age normally.

Like, he's not Bradley Cooper.

He's not Tom Brady.

Like, he's very normal.

And Miranda Kerr is still at the top of her game, but like, maybe a time will come where she doesn't want to be so beautiful anymore.

Like, she could just relax, you know?

Yeah, I do still think like he is a choice that's still at that like

level of No, he's not at the same level as Tom Brady Bradley Cooper.

No, no, just because like Tom Brady and Bradley Cooper like yeah, they're like not real.

Right.

But still like with Evan Spiegel, you got to behave still turdy.

Of course, of course, of course.

But like I feel like the pressure with an Evan Spiegel is so much better than the pressure with like a Bradley Cooper.

Yeah.

Yeah, I agree.

Like, I just, I look at her.

I've recently started following Miranda Kerr on like every social media platform.

And she's she's killing it like

but also he is like the most handsome tech mogul So like she went for the most handsome one.

Okay, there's not like so much competition with like handsome tech moguls.

They're not like a lot of handsome ones

So yes, I agree with that, but it's a different pool than like the upper echelon A

plus you know who's another person who did it right?

Jasmine tooks who's she with okay.

so her husband, I just want to get this right.

Honestly, low-key, all a lot of those model girls

have really nice marriages.

Okay, he is a businessman and media personality who also works at Snapchat.

That's why I had an association.

He's the director of international markets, but they had this like insane wedding.

Um,

I believe he's like very high up

in um

government or like he is like

something.

Oh, sorry.

Yes, he's the son of Ecuadorian vice president.

So, when they got married, I think they got married somewhere and it was like fancy and like they were like diplomats and stuff.

Like, she runs in a fabulous circle of people.

Okay, let me ask you about another one.

Sure.

Rosie Huntington Whiteley and Jason Satham.

Okay, very interesting as well.

Because he's like technically like a good-looking actor, but he's he's a real person, I feel.

Yeah, okay.

So, he's a good-looking actor, but like when you see these two people together, like she's infinitely better looking than him.

Like if he was a regular dude, like sorry, nobody would think he was handsome.

He's just handsome because he's like an actor and he's cute.

He's not like no, he's handsome.

He's really handsome and he's like, he has something very,

like, he's always playing like a handsomer.

He's Jason Bourne.

That's what it is.

So he's like, you know, a daredevil, like

a Bond type.

Yeah, yeah, that's handsome.

Yeah, I mean, but she's much taller than him.

Like, I think they're evenly matched.

And I think they're like a real love match.

I think they've been in love for like a really long time.

And I ship and I love.

I think she also did very well.

Yeah.

It's so interesting.

Like, you really, you obviously have a lot of options when you're a part of like the most beautiful women in the world, but you want to make like a lasting marriage.

And I think these three women did an amazing job.

And you got to get creative a little bit.

Like, you don't go for the obvious choice.

That's what I'm saying.

You don't go for the, and I wouldn't either.

No, but Irena Shake keeps going for the obvious.

Yeah, remember when she was with Kanye?

Like, it's just so obvious.

Like, come on, girl.

Like, you need to punch down just a little bit.

I think if you really want to make it work.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Hopefully she'll hear this.

Hopefully she'll hear this.

But I hope she got a date with Tom Brady.

Win a date with Tom Brady.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Sean Mendez is causing a little controversy with his new single

album art.

And you know what?

Like, I'm about to become like a Karen because I'm with the people giving backlash, which I never am, but it's like question mark yeah no Sean Mendez was slammed for using a photo of New York City engulfed in wildfire smoke to promote his new single so he came out with a song on Friday and it's called what the hell are we all what the hell are we dying for and the artwork for the single is the pictures of New York like the one of the pictures of New York orange from last week

right and the you know New York was orange because like people's homes are burning down like it's not

cool to use that see that.

Wildfires, yes.

Oh, and let's keep in mind, Sean is a Canadian king.

Like this felt very bizarre.

And like this is just one of those situations where it's like, you know how many people had to approve this or like, you know, make the artwork and not one of them was like, is this a bad idea?

Yeah, that is weird.

It's just weird.

And I feel like he was intentionally provocative, but it's like not doing what he thinks it's doing.

Yeah, no, and it's like, I'm all actually about being intentionally provocative, but I don't see what the good side of this provocation is.

Like, I only see this feeling icky and weird.

And what was the artwork gonna be before

last week?

Right, right, because he like posted this on like Friday, and literally the wildfire, like, smoke ended in New York on Friday.

Yeah, and it was like, I'm sure he recorded the song the week before.

Like, what was the plan before that?

Right.

Like, that picture he used was taken Thursday.

Yeah.

Was that Thursday?

What was that?

That was like the worst day.

No, no, Thursday.

Really?

No.

Wednesday and...

No, it was both, actually.

They were both.

Wednesday and Thursday were both terrible.

Okay.

But this is, you know, I hate to jump on a bandwagon of backlash because most of the time backlash is moronic.

And like, okay, we shouldn't kill Sean Mendez.

But like, no, this was definitely a bad choice.

Like, I'm, I'm just not.

I actually don't think there's that much backlash, like, considering how fucking weird it is.

Maybe just because like Sean Mendez is like not on everyone's radar.

It's not like it's like taken over headline news.

Yeah.

Like Sean Mendez canceled.

It's just like, oh, that's fucking weird.

Yeah, I feel like this is just one of those situations where a celebrity is, they really don't live in the real world.

And every now and then we get a glimpse of like how out of touch they are.

And this is just one of those things.

It was giving, it's giving like imagine video.

Yeah, and I also could see it, like, people on his team being like, I don't know, Sean.

I don't know if that's your best idea.

And him being like, no, this is it.

This is important.

Like, this is the message.

This is the moment.

Oh my God.

That's totally.

Kind of.

Like, what are we doing if we're not doing this?

And, like, pushing it down the field and making it happen.

Because I could, I think a lot of people would see this and be like, I don't know, Sean.

This feels off.

Yeah.

By the way, him and Camilla broke in.

Why?

I don't know.

I guess they like tried to give it another chance.

You know, maybe they broke up and sometimes you just need closure.

But they broke up.

I just don't understand why they clearly love each other so much.

Do you think think they broke up over this picture?

No, they broke up before.

They broke up before.

Maybe she knew what she was doing.

Maybe she was the one trying to tell him.

Yeah.

I could see that.

Yeah.

Because I feel like Camilla's like definitely really connected to her fans and the real world.

And maybe Sean's just like a little too.

Because Sean's much more famous than that.

And maybe that's like the underlying issue in their relationship all the time is like he's.

He lives in a fantasy world.

Yeah.

And then this was like the straw that broke the camel's back.

It's like, if you think that that's good PR,

we clearly have less in common than I thought.

Yeah, maybe this was a straw that broke the camel's back.

Even though that's probably not at all what happened, it's the narrative I choose to believe.

I'm with you, girl.

Especially when they don't give us anything.

Like, okay, so I'll make something up.

So I'll make it up.

Literally.

And then the one thing they do give us is the picture of the Canada wildfire.

Right.

This is all I have from this week, and I know that they broke up.

I'm going to say the two are related.

The two are inextricably linked.

Yeah.

Well, wishing them the best.

I didn't hear Sean's new song.

Not that I like really would listen to a new Sean Mendes song the second it comes out, but I definitely was like, oh, Sean Mendes is like in like a weird space right now because he just put out this weird thing.

He is in a weird space.

And no, he is not dating Sabrina.

No, he's not.

And maybe that's what's wrong.

Maybe.

I don't know.

Sean Mendes has good songs, though, like when I do listen to them.

In My Blood, like that's a pussy popping song.

Do you got plans tonight?

I'm a couple hundred miles from Japan and I.

That's a good song.

Yeah.

and the other one, Blended or something.

Also, does he have a song called Wonder?

Yeah, I wonder what it's like to be loved by you.

Maybe that was what I meant by blended.

For me.

What?

Maybe you're just like always thinking about that Drew Barrymore movie, Blended.

Maybe, but you know what?

I'm going through my Sean Mendez.

Does he have a song called Blended?

No, I think it was Wonder.

I think it was Wonder, but it's just like one-word song, you know.

Yeah, sure.

Also, I think one of Sean Mendez's better songs is the first song he ever released after Vine.

It's like giving very much like soundtrack to a Disney Channel movie.

It's called Something Big.

Something big, I feel it happening out of my control.

So good.

Oh, he's also on the Descendant soundtrack.

A Disney thing.

With a song called Believe that's in my saved songs.

Must be good.

Must be good.

Mm-hmm.

Well, I just hope, you know, Sean Mendez can learn and grow from this and do better.

I hope so, too.

I don't think

the thing is, I don't think that he's going to.

Like, I don't think he's apologized or anything.

Like, he's taking a stand.

Yeah, no, he's like, this is what I was.

Haters be damned.

Like, this is what I want to say.

This is the moment.

Totaling.

That's what he's saying.

So I don't think there'll be any doing better from him.

Damn.

That's so Sean.

That's so Sean.

Okay, Okay, let's get into our next story.

Is it the next story that's brought to you by Squarespace, perchance?

Yes, it is.

Squarespace is everything to sell anything.

Squarespace has the tools you need to get your business off the ground, including e-commerce templates, inventory management, a simple checkout process, and secure payments.

Whatever you sell, Squarespace has merchandising features to make your products look their best online.

So head to squarespace.com/slash toast for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code Toast to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain.

domain.

Whatever you want to create a website for, whether you want to get into blogging, e-commerce, whatever it is, show off your stunning portfolio of photography, videography.

Squarespace is the perfect place to start.

I feel like creating websites should not be that hard.

Like you don't need a computer science degree to use Squarespace and you will, your result will look like a website that was made by like a fancy company.

So whether you're using it for e-commerce, social media, Squarespace has the best tools.

Like they have traffic overview so you can see how your visits, unique visitors, page views are trending over time.

You can gain insight into the top traffic sources, products, device types, browsers, and operating systems.

They also offer content ownership.

So you own all the content you put on the Squarespace platform.

They offer a one-click data portability.

They can help you with email campaigns.

If you want to grow and engage your audience with the Squarespace email campaigns, you can create powerful email content that matches your website with your existing products, blog posts, and logo.

You can also share on social.

The Squarespace blogging platform supports a configurable share button, letting your visitors share content on the Facebook, Twitter, Google, LinkedIn, StumbleUpon, Reddit, Pinterest, and Tumblr pages.

So again, if you want to take control, go to squarespace.com slash toast for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, use offer code toast to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain.

Today's episode is also brought to you by our friends at the Perfect Bar, the original refrigerated protein bar that you know and love.

If you haven't heard, Perfect Bar just launched a new line of protein bars called Perfect Bar Layers.

So the layers are a new line of crispy protein bars stacked with three delicious layers and packed with whole food nutrition.

They're made with a crispy base of peanut butter and cashew butter, and they're layered with dark chocolate or 100% real fruit, and then they're sprinkled with toasted gluten-free oats.

They're packed with up to 11 grams of proteins.

They come in two delicious flavors, crispy peanut butter and chocolate, and the crispy peanut butter and berry, which is basically like a healthy peanut butter and jelly.

Because they're made with only whole food ingredients, they're classic blend of 20 organic superfoods, and they contain no artificial preservatives, perfect bar layers are stored in the fridge.

So you could say that these bars are stacked and packed.

And honestly, the fact that they're kept in the fridge brings me so much peace of mind and makes me question every other bar that's not.

Like, how gross is that?

If you aren't already convinced, they're also non-GMO project verified, gluten-free, soy-free, kosher, and low GI.

The best part is that you can now find them in the refrigerated section at Targets nationwide.

Perfect Bar knows that it'll be love at first bite, so they're offering you a chance to try their new refrigerated protein bars for free.

Here's how it works.

Sign up for email or text and upload a picture of your receipt from your local grocery store and they'll reimburse you for the cost of one one bar.

It'll go directly into your Venmo or PayPal account.

All you have to do is go to perfectsnacks.com slash toast to get that free perfect bar today.

That's perfectsnacks.com slash toast to get a free perfect bar today.

Happy snacking.

Thank you, Claudia.

You're welcome, Jackie.

You actually just made me really want a perfect bar, but I'll wait.

Yeah, because you eat on this podcast and you get killed.

It's so true.

Is this the fifth story?

It's the fourth.

Oh.

I'm just thinking of ways that you could eat on a podcast and get away with it.

Maybe AI could figure that out one day.

Maybe AI could figure that out one day.

Until then, I'll starve.

Next.

So Chloe and Tristan's son, Tatum, had the last name Kardashian at birth and later changed it to Thompson, TMZ reports.

So Chloe wasn't messing around when her son was born, giving him the last name Kardashian instead of Tristan's last name, but later had a change of heart.

Sources with direct knowledge tell us Tatum Thompson, as he's now known, was initially legally a Kardashian.

The sources say Tatum also wasn't his first name, though we're not sure what first name Chloe originally chose for the kiddo.

Eventually, Chloe decided to drop the Kardashian name, and now Hatum's legal name is Tatum Thompson moving forward.

I think at first he was baby because she couldn't decide on a name.

And that's also something that we've seen.

in um

this season so far is

like her being not unsure of his name, but like they are calling him Robert.

I think for a while, like maybe his name was going to be Robert or maybe like Chris really wanted it to be Robert and she decided on Tatum Robert.

So another one who's having a journey with her child's name.

Yeah.

And also I think people are looking into this as like, you know, Chloe and Tristan's relationship, but I'm sure she wants.

Tatum to have the same last name is true.

I think Chloe went with the T names because Thompson, like Chloe Kardashian, true Thompson.

It's like an alliteration thing.

So I don't think there's there's like this means anything yeah well no I mean the only thing that means something is like when she initially didn't use Tristan's last name like that yeah I guess she must have maybe she was just mad at him maybe but I think or she knew that

the name was gonna change because if it was like baby Kardashian when at first until she came up with Tatum like if she knew it was gonna change eventually then she could add the Thompson yeah yeah I'm just choosing like not to look into this too much you know no but it's just interesting and again to me I'm like now now so interested in one, like celebrity baby names, two, like the baby naming experience in general.

And three, like baby name trepidation and regret.

Well, okay, let me ask you a question.

At this point in your first pregnancy, did you know that you were going to go with Harry?

Yes.

Like Harry's always been like a boy name that I loved and that our family has loved.

And now for little baby Larry,

you have nothing.

No, no, I have, I have choices, which is actually more than I had for Harry.

Like I didn't really have

a second choice for Harry and except for Wolf.

And that was only the week before when Kylie named her baby Wolf.

Somebody needs to use that name.

Like, it's so cool.

It's such a cute name, but it's just like,

it was like Kylie said, like, he's not a wolf.

So if you don't have a wolf, and there's no way to know when they're born, whether or not they will be a wolf.

Well, we know now, like, Harry was a wolf.

And you think his name should be Wolf?

No.

No, but he could have been Wolf.

Yeah, like, he would have carried the name with pride.

Yeah, so now I feel like more like how most people feel, which is just like we have a bunch of choices and I'm just waiting to see each day.

I feel like more akin to a different choice.

And I also will wait.

Like I'm not making any decisions yet, but it's just so hard.

I know.

It's so hard.

It is so hard.

And you could see Chloe struggling with it in this episode.

And she said they're not allowed to call him Tate.

I think Tate is such a cute name for Tate.

I think it's the cutest thing ever.

Like Tater Tot.

Like Tate's cookie is my favorite.

I actually love the name Tate.

Love.

And Tatum, but Chris tried to call him Tate and she said no.

That was also like just an interesting scene in that most recent episode.

I just felt like Chloe was like just

going through it.

Yeah, she was just struggling and she wasn't her normal, bubbly, welcoming, effervescent self.

Like she's like having like a tough time with this baby.

And I think like in a few months, like maybe she'll come around to Tate.

Tate.

I just think she was like in a bad mood, and she was just like, she was just saying no to life.

Yeah, no, she's going through like a hard period in life in general.

Like, she had the cancerous

cell on her face, and she has like this drama with Tristan.

She's like, very anxious in general, and just like having a hard time in the public eye.

And she's like struggling with having a new baby that she didn't give birth to, and like struggling to bond with the baby, and didn't anticipate that whatsoever.

I have to say, Chloe has shared a lot on the show,

but I thought her, you know, being honest about how surrogacy was like not what she thought it was going to be was so probably one of the most honest things I've heard anyone say.

I'm sure at some point she felt like shame associated with that and like didn't want to share it.

But the fact that she did is like so like Chloe is constantly out here like laying it all out for this show and she's really like the unsung hero of this show.

No, it's true.

And like maybe people, even like if you watch the episode, Chloe's like not giving what she she usually gives, but I actually think she's giving more.

Of course, because she's really going through it.

She's like being and like saying things that not many people have said or would say.

Yeah.

And like I'm sure she was feeling like people would judge her for it.

But like honestly, I feel like it's the most brave, honest thing anybody's ever said on reality TV.

I was shocked when I heard it.

Yeah.

I love Chloe.

Like she's really far and away the best character on the show.

Close second to Chris.

Ooh, for me, right now, it's Chloe and Kylie.

Yeah, but Kylie's just not on it a lot.

I know, but she just can do no wrong by me right now.

No, and she's just so fabulous.

And I feel like she's made it a point for like a really long time to not let people know who she really is.

Like, I think only the people around her know, I think she's like kind of quirky and weird.

We don't know that.

Like, she shows us what she wants to show us.

She had that privilege because she was the youngest.

And by the time it was her time to shine, the show was successful.

They didn't need her to like bleed out.

And every time we get like a little glimpse into her actual personality, it's so interesting, but we don't get a lot.

No, we don't.

But she's like kind of crazy.

But maybe that's how she maintains like a pretty good head on her shoulders because

like I feel like Kendall struggles with that.

I feel like every time Kendall like wants to put herself out there, like she's brutally rebuffed by the fans and like everyone.

She's like roasted.

Picks apart everything that she does and she already like has anxiety struggles.

And I feel like Kylie actually has pretty sound mental health, probably because she delineates really well, like what she'll share of herself.

Agreed.

I agree.

And she like became a mom so young.

So she like took time off, especially when things were like at the height of like her fame in particular.

Like she went MIA.

Like she was pregnant and then like not sharing.

She really, I feel like of all them, has like the healthiest balance.

And that's like a privilege because she was the youngest and like so much was done for her.

Yes.

I wonder if any of the girls like resent her for that.

Oh, I'm sure they're that they probably more so resent her for like not filming and not opening up and sharing.

Right, but then like becoming a billionaire first for like all the work that kind of, you know, the OG girlies did.

Yeah.

I'm sure there's some of that, but not enough because she keeps doing what she's doing.

Like they don't get her into like joining the show in a real way.

Right.

And it's just, I think it's interesting how there's obviously like a conversation and we're still having it.

We had it on the old show and we're having it now about Courtney's commitment to filming when Kylie like does less.

Yeah, but I think it's like when the family sits down and they like talk about do we want to do another season, I think Kylie probably votes no.

Like yeah.

And

it's just, I don't know.

It's just no, it's interesting.

It is interesting.

Because I actually think like however they split up their money from Hulu, I don't know how it's done.

Kylie does not need that.

to live.

But I actually believe Courtney probably does.

Yeah.

Maybe, maybe not now that she's like in a marriage with someone who's who's like equally as successful as her.

And if they share finances, like I'm sure that's great.

But like between Lemmy, Poosh, like she needs the show.

Yeah.

No.

And also when she was doing the Today Show on last week's episode and she said how like for all those years, like everyone was like, what's your brand?

What's your brand?

And she's like, I'm doing the show.

This is my full-time job.

So that's her job.

And she needs to show it.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

Because I just don't think she has enough wealth to like not continue to work forever.

Yeah.

Agreed.

Which, yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I, Jen.

Yeah, I am.

You are.

Okay, because it's an interesting conversation that's happening.

The tides are kind of turning a little bit in the world of Scandival, very slowly.

But

there's been a shift.

So, first, Lala Kemp was captured, uh, talking to paparazzi.

Uh, TMZ caught her at the airport, and she's kind of giving more of a changing tune on Raquel.

So, Lala changed her attitude toward Raquel after watching her scandal-scarred co-star cry and tell the truth about her affair with Tom on Vanderpump Rules.

Lala said, When she finally had the breakdown, just as a human for me, it's like it's a reality TV show.

When I watched that, I was like, oh, we may be dealing with someone who maybe shouldn't be on this type of platform.

When asked whether she had become more empathetic and less angry at Raquel, she sarcastically replied, Am I empathetic?

Shocker.

I don't know how other people feel about the last five minutes, but I did sit there and go, she needs some real help, and I pray that she got it.

Yeah, there's definitely, and that's what we had said right when we recapped Vanner Pump Ruhl's third reunion is like

it felt like, not that she was doing it intentionally, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was like a wave of sympathy for Raquel because what you can't watch that and think that that person is like, is okay.

She was not in any way okay.

And

I think now in hindsight, like everybody, now it's done and we're all just like looking at the situation like at a glance, kind of like the chapter is closed.

And in no way has Tom Sandoval had any redeeming moments.

I still think he's very much the villain of this whole story.

And like he's actually a bad person, not a person who made a mistake.

I think Raquel is a person who made a mistake because she's so vulnerable and easily manipulated and clearly has mental health issues.

Like she,

it kind of seemed like during, you know, the fallout, she was very much disassociating, like, which I think is a natural.

reaction to like protect yourself and people were like that that gave people even more fuel like she's not remorseful and then we saw the moment where like all of the consequences of her actions finally hit her.

And I think, I think it, it probably, um, like, destroyed her.

And that's what we saw.

Yeah.

So I feel like people are definitely

even one degree more sympathetic towards Raquel.

After one, she came clean.

I feel like it's even, you know, in like a police case, it's like the person who tells the truth, like, gets a less harsh sentence.

Yeah.

And I feel like that's how it is right now.

Like, we just appreciate that she's being honest and she's exposing Tom Sandoval like even further.

But there's also this small conversation that I'm I'm starting to see people saying

of the way that Raquel was treated at the reunion was not something that was acceptable.

And even though everyone is hurt and everyone has their feelings, like the way she was spoken to, the things that were said to her are not how you treat fellow human beings.

Yes.

And you know what?

I don't fully disagree with that.

I think it's also just that trope of like, you either die the hero, you know, Ariana, Lala, Katie,

or you live long enough to become the villain.

Like now that we've been, you know, rooting and championing them so hard, I think a lot of people are like, okay, well, like telling another human being that they are nothing and they have not a single person in this world that cares about them.

Like that's what you say to someone.

Like, you know what, like it's, it's a little extreme.

It's a little extreme and it's...

dark and to all be like rooting for this it does feel icky and i think that it went too far and also like these

people and i said this to you last week not on the show but like these the people on banner pump rules like who are also like giddy and gleeful about like the the them going down it's like they don't know how to win with grace and just like rise above and not get on like now they're all on the same level to me right like you know the trend okay cool so now you're like just as nasty as the people that you think you're so much better than Right.

And I think this conversation started because people who don't know like the full story or like the layers in the history just saw like a girl being literally told the worst things you can tell a human being.

And it's like, you say that to a murderer, you know, you don't say that to a girl who like, obviously what she did is horrible, but like to a girl who made a mistake.

No, and it's, it's not just one mistake.

I don't want to like downplay what they did because what they did was really like,

it requires a level of.

scheming and lying and

an intrinsic insidiousness to lie to your best friend for months.

And like it's it's messed up on every single level.

Just

she's still a person.

And to all, for all of us to endorse like this pylon.

Yeah.

It just like, I, it's a little icky.

And I didn't like notice it until people started to say.

And I'm like, yeah, there was something that just felt

too far.

Too far.

And like, you're the good guys.

You're supposed to be the good guys.

Like, you just don't,

you'd be better off just like writing her off and ignoring her than like

getting down to their level.

I am so curious, like, what the future holds for Raquel.

Does she continue to film?

Does she, you know, kind of leave public life forever?

I know her family is like really worried about her and like doesn't want her back on the show whatsoever.

And I don't think that, I think she comes from like an like a like a money.

Like I don't think she needs, you know, this job.

No, I'm sure like the job is, it's a big job and it's a big paycheck.

And even if her parents like might support her, they can't support her for the rest of her life.

She'll probably go to Market and live at home for a little bit.

But that's not a career.

But I think if she's serious about her mental health,

she cannot come back to the show.

Yeah.

No, I don't.

But if it's just a play to get back onto the next season and to rehabilitate her image, then

I don't think it is.

Jackie, that was like not, like, she's not an actor.

No, I don't think that it is either.

And I don't think that it should be.

And if she is in that sort of place that's as serious as we think it is, then I imagine that they would be telling her like, you need to make different choices.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know how that explains like

the postcards and the letters being sent to Tom's house from her facility.

Like they're still, and you know, that TMZ photo we spoke about last week where he was like on the phone with her.

Because she did turn on him.

Yeah.

So what does it mean?

I don't know.

We'll have to wait and see.

I'll be so, I mean, I, as much as she needs to exit reality TV, like I also think she needs to,

whenever she's done with treatment and when she's in a good place, like maybe just sit down and like talk about everything like with more distance.

Yeah.

Um, because whatever she wants to do like next with her life, like it's still her name that has been completely traditional like she's already given this much of herself to public life.

Like what's what's one more interview where she can just speak.

Um, it will be interesting to hear what she has to say.

Yeah, she's just kind of the most interesting person in this scandal who has yet to speak.

Even at the reunion, she said a whole bunch of nothing.

Yeah, no, and she just sit there and she took it.

She just took it.

Which is honestly, what else could she have done?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's definitely an interesting conversation.

And I don't know what the right like answer is, but I think people kind of...

identifying like a weirdness that they felt for this girl like is fair.

Yeah, I think so too.

And I think people

are then like disappointed in Bravo that they would like air, that they wouldn't be able to see that this has gone too far.

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

But that's so Bravo.

Yeah.

They don't like actually take any moral stands unless like, you know, everybody's,

yeah.

Right, right, right.

Very interesting.

Very interesting.

So we shall see what's next.

But now it's time for a TV recap.

Speaking of Bravo House.

I can't wait to hear your thoughts on Summerhouse.

I think I have similar thoughts.

And the TV recap is brought to you by honey.

Today's episode is sponsored by PayPal Honey, the easy way to save money when shopping on your iPhone or computer.

Did you know that it only takes a few seconds to get honey?

That means before you go to add it to your laptop or your iPhone, right now,

you could be done before this ad is even over.

So here's how honey works.

Honey is the best thing ever.

I can't believe there are people out there who don't have honey.

And I just found out that you can have it on your phone now.

So when I'm always shopping, I'm always like using Apple Pay.

It's so easy to pay for stuff on my phone.

The fact that I can have honey on my phone now is life-changing.

So here's how it works.

You're shopping at one of your favorite websites.

You go to check out, the honey button will just appear.

And all you have to do is click apply coupons.

Wait a few seconds.

Honey will search the internet for any coupon it can find for that website.

And if they find a working coupon, which they do most of the time, you just watch the price drop.

I have saved money on literally everything.

I order everything online, food, clothing, electronics, makeup, literally everything.

So once they find a working coupon, then your price just automatically drops.

It's so easy.

It takes a few seconds to download, a few seconds to use, and you're just saving money.

And people have literally saved thousands of dollars thanks to honey.

And now it doesn't just work on desktop computers, it also works on your iPhone.

Just activate it on Safari on your phone, and you can save on the go.

Getting honey seriously only takes a few seconds.

By getting it, you're doing yourself a solid.

And when you use our link, you're supporting the toast.

So get PayPal Honey for free at joinhoney.com/slash toast.

That's joinhoney, j-o-i-n-h-o-n-e-y dot com slash t-o-a-s-t.

Join honey.com slash toast.

Thanks, Claude.

Okay, so I think the big conversation and the, the, the divisiveness in the seasons of Summer House is like, are Carl and Lindsay, you know, being treated fairly or is this, you know, something they've had coming for years?

Okay, I don't, I can't speak about coming for years because I haven't watched every season of Summer House.

I watched last season, so I know like some of the dynamics and I've watched throughout the years.

and anytime I've ever watched like Lindsay is just like not for me.

Like she's not someone same that I could see myself like being friends with.

Not because of anything that she does, just like her energy and her personality is like not my favorite type of girl, like which is totally fine.

I gravitate.

Totally fine.

Totally fine.

Totally fine.

Which is why I'm so shocked this season.

Like I am so team Lindsay like on a me too.

On just a scruples level, you know, and it's not about like who like I like, and I'm just defending like who I ride for because obviously like I'm I love Paige, but Paige isn't really like involved.

She's just like kind of a cheerleader, um, because it's really Lindsay versus Danielle, but the whole house has taken Danielle's side because also they just like don't like Lindsay and Carl.

And I just know, and by the way, my experience with Summerhouse is similar to yours, except for that, like when it came to the drama, I always felt like what Lindsay was doing was so wrong.

And I never understood why there wasn't this like reckoning for Lindsay.

Like she kind of got away with so much and treated people so poorly and she was always wrong.

And I was like, why is there not this like, you know, the way they like ousted Hannah, like they, they always have these like roasts of people.

And Lindsay never got that.

So if you would have told me that like this is the season like everyone held Lindsay accountable, I'd be like, great.

But what they're holding her accountable for, they are so wrong on.

They're so wrong.

I have no, I've seen no issue with Lindsay and Carl's relationship.

If anything, like all the other relationships in the house are so unserious and it's so funny to watch these people try and tell Lindsay and Carl like how their relationship should be even like Danielle throughout the season is trying to be like well you guys should be fighting like first of all Danielle and her boyfriend broke up like two minutes later so it's just you know it's and even in their relationship like they they had a very different structure than like Lindsay and Carl who were immediately serious right off the bat like Danielle and Robert moved in together for like two months after they met each other and then like they have a hard time seeing each other and he works all the time and like prioritizes that so Danielle's like you guys should be fighting then Lindsay and Carl get into a fight and then the next morning they're like just acting normal.

And she's like, well, you can't sweep it under the rug.

Now you have to talk about your fight more.

It's like, why are you policing how they handle their relationship?

Like, you aren't the moral authority on relationships one and two.

Like, so they had a fight, which is what you wanted.

Now they're not handling the aftermath of their fight the way that you wanted to.

That was the interesting thing about the reunion is like we're now all involved in Lindsay and Carl's relationship.

And so they're obviously like dealing with this thing where like Lindsay likes to drink and party, but you know, obviously Carl struggles.

And like, that's something something they're actively working on they said they're in therapy and that's another thing where it's like when lindsay wasn't drinking for carl they're like lindsay's not being so fear lindsay's not being herself that she's not drinking for carl like that's not lindsay then lindsay starts to drink again and they're like how can lindsay be drinking when carl's not drinking it's like what can they do everything they did was wrong there was such a weird element to the reunion where it's like they're kind of you know talking about and analyzing things that go on in Carl and Lindsay's relationship that like they're fully aware of and they're working through like what relationship is is perfect?

If anything, like, the fact that they had fights and that they're struggling with this, like, alcohol thing, like, that makes it normal.

And they're going to therapy.

And, like, I just feel like the relationship is like weirdly so healthy.

And everyone is doing everything they can to be like, this relationship is toxic.

No, their relationship is not weirdly, but it's a serious relationship.

Like, from the moment they decided to start dating, like, they are on the path to engagement and marriage.

And all the other relationships in the house, including Kyle and Amanda, because what, it took them 10 years, are just like these non-serious things.

And they look at Carl and Lindsay and think like they're extreme and they're the exception.

When it's like, no, they're just, they've committed to a different sort of relationship than the rest of you have, who are just like, I don't know, fucking around for a few years, don't care.

Like, but one, Lindsay and Carl are older than them.

Two, not only that.

The timeline that we're talking about, like, you have to remember, people are not going to be able to do that.

It's so normal.

It's so normal.

People used to get married after six months of knowing each other, and those relationships have lasted 50 years.

They moved in together after nine months.

She's a 35-year-old woman who has known this man for seven years.

Then three months later, they're getting engaged and their engagement is about to be a year and change.

I can't tell you a more normal relationship with someone who, when the minute you said you wanted to be their girlfriend, you knew that you were serious about and wanted to marry.

Like the way that everyone is making them feel like they're so crazy, if Danielle says hella fast one more time, like I'm just like, what is fast?

No, what's normal is just sitting around for a bunch of years, not sure about your relationship while you guys all share a bed with your friends

and walk around in thongs in front of each other's boyfriends.

That's more normal to you.

Okay, wait.

Also, I think what's so important is like the context is like, yes, Lindsay and Carl are older, but like they've both in the last few years, like experienced like deep trauma and tragedy that like that matures you.

You know, Carl, I think you can see it like between, you know, his, you know, entering sobriety and then losing his brother.

Like that shit changes you for life.

And like you become a more serious person.

You understand what's important in life.

Lindsay had a miscarriage.

Like we saw last season how much that fucked with her.

And like, I think really scared her.

So the fact that these two people like went through serious things and then decided to become serious people is literally not shocking.

It's like the most normal human reaction.

And I just don't understand the hatred for their relationship.

And like Danielle is so

odd.

Like her behavior, and you know what?

Her behavior was crazy, but the fact that like everybody took her side, I think really empowered her to get even crazier, which is how we got to the engagement.

Oh my God, I told you yesterday, nothing on reality TV shocks me anymore just because we've been watching it for so long.

Everything is just like so contrived.

You know, like, yeah.

Scandival shocked me, but it takes a lot.

Danielle's reaction to her best friend getting engaged was the most shocking thing I have ever seen.

Zach and I were watching.

He doesn't really, he didn't know what he was watching.

He's just been like coming in and out.

And he was like, what's wrong with her?

Like you find out your best friend is getting engaged to actually another one of your best friends and you love them so much, you keep saying you would like take a bullet for their relationship and your instinct is to burst out in tears when she's like sobbing the girls are holding her like because your best friend got engaged like I can understand on some level could never be me but I'm I'm being open-minded I understand on some level how your two best friends are getting engaged and you would like to have been a part of it you know like that he didn't reach out to you if it was one of my best friends and She was getting engaged and maybe he reached out to other friends, but not me.

Maybe I would after a a few minutes of knowing that they're getting engaged, I would be like, oh, I would have liked to, you know, help out.

No, by the way, same, but I would never verbal, Jackie, I would never verbalize that maybe until a few months later.

If like we were drinking and I'd say, you know what, like I wish I was told.

Like, no, but I would never say that right now.

I would have like moved on from it.

Like, but for it to be your first reaction and your only reaction and that like the joy that you feel for your friend who you've been with for so many years and you've watched her date all these losers and breakups and everything, like that that girl is like finally getting her happily ever after.

Your best friend has found joy, even if it's like the relationship is moving hella fast for you, that your initial reaction isn't just like

so happy

is so crazy.

And for it to be the complete opposite, and the fact that she even thinks that she should have been involved in their engagement when one, she screamed into a pillow.

The whole summer.

She screamed.

The whole summer.

Carl said he's looking at rings.

She screamed into a pillow.

One hour before she found out they were getting engaged, when someone said they might be getting engaged next weekend, Danielle said, if they're getting engaged next weekend, I'm not coming.

No, and by the way,

so that was before she even knew she wasn't a part of the engagement and she didn't want them to get engaged.

Why on God's Green, diddly dally earth would these people include you in their engagement?

No, and then also this conversation, like this witch hunt, like did Lindsay know she was getting engaged?

It's fake.

They're fraudulent people.

I want to tell you how every girl knows they're getting engaged.

Like on a small level, like they know it's happening in a certain timeframe.

Things don't just happen out of nowhere.

Like you have conversations about whether you want to get married, what timeline you want to get married on so like this witch hunt like if Lindsay even knew that makes her like a fraudulent person that's just not true like on some level most girls know roughly when maybe not the exact hour of the day but the week like they they know on some level and knowing is not this like you know People thought like if we could prove that Lindsay knew, it would show how fraudulent she is as a person.

That's not true.

So that conversation was so infuriating.

And so let's say she did know.

So?

So

I knew.

Right.

And it's like, if you know you're going to get engaged, should you like ruin the surprise just to be authentic?

Yes, you should look ugly.

No, but yeah, you should be like, are we heading to my engagement just so that people don't question your authenticity?

Yeah, like it was such a stupid, there were just so many conversations that were like, quite literally, we got so lost in the weeds on those conversations at the reunion.

And at the end of the day, okay, so let's say she knew.

What does that change?

Literally nothing.

No, literally nothing.

That just means that they're in an honest and open relationship where they talk about the future.

But I also wasn't even convinced that she knew.

Yeah, she looked extraordinarily nice for a bonfire.

She's on a reality show.

She was really shocked.

I think she had gotten new extensions in general, probably because she knew she was getting engaged like soon-ish.

So that kind of like made her look a little more elevated.

But

like literally, who cares?

But I'm also not convinced that she knew.

I thought that her reactions, I actually was really moved by their proposal.

I thought it was really sweet.

No, Jackie, like the way I'm now ship and stand this couple, when like when I first heard their dating, I'm like, oh, that's weird.

Like, I really, I didn't care much, but the way they've been just like

nailed to a cross for what?

And by the way, I was so deeply moved during the conversation, how Carl basically, just like an asshole, told everyone that one time Carl.

No, no, sorry, Kyle told everyone like an asshole that one time Carl showed up to work, like having done cocaine, which is clearly like a really

huge regret of Carl's and like something he is probably really ashamed of and definitely works through in his recovery.

And for him to like just totally let it go because of like what happened to him and his brother, he's like, I know what it's like to say something you so deeply regret.

And I didn't get a chance to like tell that person I was sorry, I thought was so, I just really indicative of the type of person Carl is and has become.

And I'm not, I'm just not going to be thinking he's a villain because I don't think a villain could be capable of forgiveness like that.

No, I don't think he's a villain.

And I actually, it made me really want to root for Kyle and Carl's friendship, even though I don't know what I haven't watched all the seasons, so it doesn't mean as much to me as it means to other people.

But in that moment, I was like, oh, these two people like need to figure it out and remain friends.

So also, Andy

like.

took a side.

He's been doing that like more recently.

It's always fun when it's like the side that you're on, but it's really frustrating when it's not your side.

He just like took the stance on the second part of the reunion that like Danielle was justified in her feelings and that Lindsay

was cruel in her treatment of her, which I completely disagree with and really made like Lindsay concede to things in order to move forward that I don't think that she needed.

to concede.

And that was really frustrating to watch.

I'm glad that they moved forward, but it didn't feel like it was a lasting truce because Lindsay's like apologizing for shit that she literally doesn't need to be apologizing for.

No, and Danielle's feelings are so crazy and they were validated all season long by everyone in the house, giving her more fuel to like act even crazier.

So for Andy to do that too, like I just didn't agree with.

Yeah, she didn't need the backup, if anything, like Lindsay and Carl did because it was like them against the world.

Also, not that there's anything else that anybody talks about on the season because everyone's obsessed with Lindsay and Carl, but I have a few other thoughts about the show itself.

Sure.

If I may.

Please.

I love Sam and Gabby.

The first few episodes that I watched, I watched like the first four when they aired and then I didn't watch until this weekend.

And I really wasn't feeling either of them.

Just their personalities, like I just, I didn't like gravitate towards.

But oh my God, I, I'm obsessed.

Like, I'm obsessed with Sam and Corey.

Obsessed with Sam and Corey.

Oh, my God.

Like, I need more.

They're still together now.

So he's obviously going to be on like this next season with her.

Like, I'm just so obsessed.

I think they're so cute.

It was really cute.

Their first weekend together when he came to the house, because like, I guess Craig was there or, and they met and they're in the car, like, getting, picking up alcohol.

Like, you're watching two people who are like really connecting and they're having this like easy conversation and she's just you could like see how he's just like falling in love with her because she's just like this bubbly really sweet person and it was oh and by the way

to watch i completely agree i'm obsessed with them and i like her instagram is all like really cute pictures of them but that that thing that maya said to her like the day she walked into the house was so mean

and i thought she was really mature about it at the reunion she like explained how like she didn't think maya was coming from a bad place but it kind of triggered any time someone has said that to her who was coming from a bad place i I thought it was so fucking mean because I'm like that too.

Like, I relate to Sam in the way that, like, we're a lot and we're like loud.

And it's not for everyone, but like to be pulled aside, like the day you get to a house full of new people, just being told to basically shut the fuck up.

It wasn't the first day, but it was, um, it was early.

Still rude.

It was so rude.

Yeah.

I guess, but it's like if everyone's talking about it behind her back, what's the right thing to do?

But she didn't say everyone's saying this about you.

She said you do, like, factually, you talk too much.

It's just mean.

Like, it's okay.

Let's say she does talk too much.

Okay, so, like, it's not like she, you know, kills people too much.

Like, it's just her personality.

Yeah, it was, it was weird to watch.

And now there is this weird dynamic.

And it's interesting that this season, like, the new girls gravitated towards Lindsay, whereas they usually gravitate towards Paige and the bed crew.

And I always thought, like, in past seasons, like, that's such a plus in Paige and Amanda's column.

It's like they're always so welcoming.

And I think it really showed how like kind of toxic Lindsay and Danielle's friendship was.

Like they wouldn't let anyone in.

They made no space for anyone else.

Like it was rude and it was really hard to be.

And I thought Paige articulated that so well, how she was like, I was here, you know, as a new girl once and like you guys were horrible to me.

And that's why she's made a conscious effort always to like be in the bed with Maya and be in the bed with Sierra and like always welcoming the new girls.

So I did think it was interesting that the new girls immediately were on the other side of the couch.

Yeah, and even throughout the season, like when Sam was like, I'm so happy about Lindsay's engagement, but I think I'll just like be happy over here because I don't want to like upset everyone.

It was like no one all season, like Lindsay didn't have beef really with anyone other than Danielle outwardly, but like anytime something negative happened for Lindsay or like there was a fight or a conversation, like everyone was like a little gleeful about it.

And it's like.

I can understand like they're also human beings.

And I can also understand maybe Lindsay's like an annoying fucking person.

And so when other people are like seeing that too, you're like, yeah, she's annoying.

But when you're watching it as a viewer, it just like comes off really mean when everybody is treating one person that way.

Yep.

Especially a person who's like obviously shown a lot of growth.

Like that's okay.

I do believe when they were talking about shit that happened in the past, like, you know, the Dumois, like, I do believe Lindsay has probably her fair share of bad moments in the last few years, but like.

To bring it up now when they're so clearly in a different place and have been through so much, like, it just feels irrelevant.

No, and it's like, if we're moving forward, then we cannot keep like bringing up old stuff if we've like said that we're moving on from it.

Like to me, that final conversation between Danielle and Lindsay that

Lindsay was so terrible at, like, how is she terrible?

First of all, she didn't say anything.

She literally didn't say anything.

That was like everyone's problem.

Danielle called her a monster.

Danielle said the friendship was over.

Danielle was like losing her mind and everyone was like, the way Lindsay treated you in that conversation.

I'm like, Lindsay just like responded like, yes or no.

No, and Lindsay was just like fed up.

Like, this is a person who's like kind of crazy.

Like, you really can't argue with them so much.

And I felt like she was just like i don't need this friendship anymore so it's like not worth fighting for so yeah maybe she came off a little cold but like it's fucking exhausting to argue with someone who's like so deeply unwell deeply unwell and all season danielle's like i would take a bullet for you it's like you would take a bullet for me but you couldn't be happy that i'm getting engaged to the love of my life why right why the bullet why not i'm not i don't need a bullet i just was wanting to be genuinely happy for me Yeah, which is like really not asking a lot, or at least fake it, fake it.

I don't care.

Yeah.

And also then the girls were trying to say that like lindsay was managing yell for becoming friends with like you know the bed crew right but i don't think it was that like i think it's like when you're best friends with someone and since they all have to be in a house together yeah like she can go and be friends with other people but like if you start talking badly about me to people who do not like me i cannot be friends with you yeah that's how i feel like that's how i feel too yep Like go be friends with them.

Like go talk about all your like fun stuff, whatever.

But if you want to talk about me with my enemies, we can't be friends i completely agree and i don't think that that's crazy me neither so i was fully team lindsay

and i just needed to get that off my chest because i was so surprised that i was so alone well i'm so glad sam and gabby had my back too Yeah, I but you know what?

That conversation about Gabby was interesting because I did feel like when she first got there like she wasn't really being genuine She was like trying to like have moments and be funny and I understood why like Maya and Sierra were like we felt like we would have had like an instant connection with you.

And like, you're just kind of like surface level.

Like, I actually get that.

But I think after that, they like totally wrote her off.

And she was probably like nervous.

Like, it's so, it's such a weird thing to like be in a house with all these cameras.

Like, she was just like trying a little too hard in the beginning.

And like, then everyone completely wrote her off.

That by the time she got comfortable, like, they weren't even open to being her friend.

Yeah.

That's how I felt as a viewer.

But like, when she finally was just like being herself and like just having like cute real moments, I was like, oh, I really like her.

And I felt that same way about Sam.

Like at first, I felt like she was trying too hard.

I didn't understand her.

And it just took a little time.

But like I think they're both like really cute, sweet girls.

Same.

All right.

So that'll be interesting to see like who goes to the wedding and like, you know, I'm happy for Lindsay and Carl, honestly.

Like weirdly, I ship.

Weirdly I ship.

They should invite everyone.

Yeah.

Just because like if they don't, everyone will hold it over them for the next 30 years.

Mm-hmm.

Definitely.

Yeah, but they said that they would do another summer in the house.

So I'm curious who will be

who will be in the house again.

Well, the thing is, like, they obviously need Corey.

They need more guys.

Oh, my God.

I don't even know that guy's name.

Alex?

Chris.

Sure.

Like, they need more guys.

It's great that Corey's in a relationship.

They need more single guys.

And I don't know if there's actually like a lot of girls.

I feel like two of them need to go.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think Paige will come back because also like Bravo loves Paige and Craig.

Paige is a fan favorite.

Her and Craig are literally perfect for each other.

I think they add like an interesting dynamic because they're like a serious couple, but they're like somewhere between Kyle and Amanda and Lindsay and Carl.

Like they're taking it slow, but they're serious.

In the last few episodes, they had some interesting conversations about their relationship that were very surprising to me.

In like, I mean, obviously the big question is like, when are they going to move in together and where are they going to live?

Because they're still doing long distance.

But

they also just like like each other so much that they don't want to like ruin the relationship by doing something that like neither of them are ready for.

And weirdly, long distance like really works for them.

They both have like very flexible lives.

They spend a lot of time together.

Yeah, but they have to take the next step if they want to take the next and the next step, which is like, you know, marriage and kids.

But they have to, like, they were like, we know we want to get married and have kids and raise them in Charleston, but how do we get to that point?

Like, because you know, next we need to move in together, but like, where do we move in?

Paige does not want to move to Charleston right now.

And I don't think that she should have to.

Yeah, I feel like honestly, if I was going to cut someone, it would probably be Maya mostly because like she actually had a lot going on this summer like her boyfriend cheated on her and there was like so much that went down that she refused to put on air like she didn't talk about she made him take his mic off yeah like she she's not open to sharing and that's i totally respect but like you can't really be on a reality show where people are like literally out here bleeding out i mean lindsay with miscarriage like

that no one called her out for that when like literally Carl and Lindsay tried like didn't talk about a fight the morning after they had a fight the night before on camera.

And that was, you know, obfuscating their relationship when Maya literally pulled Oliver into the bathroom, told him to take his mic off so they could talk about the fact that he had cheated on her.

They were pretty much broken up, but that he was coming to the party that weekend just to round out the summer so they didn't have to deal with the breakup on camera.

Right.

No, she was like.

Producing herself.

She was closed.

Yeah, right.

And like she got no flack for it.

But like a person like that is really not necessary on a show where there are so many girls already and the girls are, you know, they're doing the most.

Yeah.

And honestly, the bed situation this season really was starting to stress me out.

There was a lot of bed sharing.

There was a lot of slob-like

bedrooms.

Like it was getting really bad towards the end.

Like I think I'd rather have like a more trimmed down cast with everyone contributing than like, you know, four people Willy Wonka in a bed all weekend.

Yeah, but I actually think like a lot of people were like this season of Summer House is bad.

I actually think it turned out really good and people were like, I don't understand this group of people.

I agree with that, but I do think there's actually like a lot of potential for where we go from here.

You know, now knowing that we have like Corey and Sam, like I do think there is a world

is best friends with Craig.

Right.

No, and they need to bring like another cute Charleston boy who's single.

Like they actually, there's a lot of potential for this group.

When the season first started, people were like, what the fuck is going on?

And I agreed, but I actually think there's, you know, it could work.

Yeah, I think that it could work too.

And I just was curious what was going on with the bedroom.

Sorry, I just, you know, you know me.

Yeah.

I can't get over the logistics because in the downstairs master bedroom, this season, there's two king beds, and it felt like nobody wanted to sleep there.

Like, there were some, some nights where someone would sleep in one of those beds alone.

I feel like maybe the AC wasn't working down there.

Maybe.

Also, upstairs, like, everyone was running fans 24-7.

I feel like the AC in the house was broken this year.

I'm just saying.

Well, like, a lot of the bedrooms were like altered this year.

Like, they put up walls, they removed walls.

Like, honestly, that double master was fucking weird.

Yeah, no, it was really weird.

It was giving like,

are you the one where they all sleep like on beds in the middle of the room room together.

But this was the first season where like Kyle and Amanda didn't just like automatically get the best room in the house.

And I've always like felt like that wasn't fair.

Like, yeah, you're two people.

You're two people.

They did.

But everyone is two people.

I thought they had a queen bed.

No, they have a king bed from the looks of it.

They got the biggest one bed.

The biggest room that has one bed and a bathroom.

Right.

Right, right, right.

But I agree because now Lindsay and Carl are engaged.

They deserve a nice room too.

They have

Corey and Sam.

Paige and Craig.

but Paige like doesn't like her privacy.

Yeah, she likes to be with the girlies.

Yeah, she even, there was one time Craig visited where he stayed in a room with her, Maya, and Sierra, and they were, they were like literally full-size beds that they pushed together.

The four of them slept in a bed pushed together.

Oh, I miss that.

Yeah, no, that was when things got shocking for me.

I was like, summer needs to end.

Yeah, no, summer has taken its toll.

It's time to go back to the city.

Can you imagine?

I can't like imagine anything more uncomfortable to me.

Yeah, but you're just not like that by the way yeah no i'm crazy you don't even like to share a bed with me like when we travel for work we get two hotel rooms it's the craziest thing i know but i feel like now if we traveled for work we would get one maybe we're just closer now yeah no it's also like financially more responsible yeah i don't know what it is but it's like on the one hand you would think i would want like by the way We do it when like when like a brand or like a network has paid for our hotel rooms like okay yeah we'll take two but if we're paying for it ourselves we'll share no he never shared that's not even true like remember when we went to um when we stayed at the mandrean we were just talking about this yeah we got two rooms and they were like both so big it was so stupid but we were also like coming back from stagecoach where we just shared a house and like you just need to decompress at least i do yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean i don't mind like i'm see i'm more of like a page in that sense like i don't mind like you know sleeping with other people Yeah, but now I do think it would be weird if we got two separate rooms now that I'm thinking about it.

But I feel like I'm also just like, now that I'm a mom, just used to having like chaos around me all the the time.

Whereas I used to just really like

a sanctuary.

Yeah.

And now it's just like that's all gone to hell.

100%.

Well, this was our longest show to date.

And I think it's time we wrap it up.

So thanks so much for listening to The Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we delivered the Fast Five Stories eating snow every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please leave a subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also by all the podcasts and rebukes and we found out, Spotify, Transition, Republic, Radio Your Red Red Red Red Red Recast Podcast, all the places.

With the list and podcasts, find us a toast.

Leave a fast story about how beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are.

Hope you guys have an amazing day.

Tomorrow we are in studio with Satcheler.

Satchel.

Oh my God.

I got to get my questions ready for her for you to ask her.

And it's going to be great.

You don't want to miss it.

We love you, dearly.

The reason why we went so long today is because we don't have to worry about the curds.

I know, because we're recording from home.

We don't have memory cards.

So that's one small perk of audio only.

Yeah.

Love ya.

Bye.