Fat Bastard > Socrates: Tuesday, May 23rd, 2023

Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the toast.

Happy Tuesday.

Hope everyone's having a grit day.

Speaking of grit, one of the grits, the greatest to ever do it.

Where is that from?

We always say, Hope you're having a grit day.

We always say that.

I don't know where it's from, but it's obviously from something.

Like a movie or something.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Grit day.

I don't know.

It's giving fat bastard.

It's giving Russian.

No, it's fat bastard.

Where was he from?

Fat Bastard is Austin Powers, but the only Fat Bastard.

Of course, but where was he originally?

Like his hand originally.

Oh, where does he originally?

Where does he hail from?

What's his background?

I'm not sure.

Although the only

Fat Bastard quotes that I really resonate with are twins, Basil and

Cobs are the enemy.

What about I eat because I'm unhappy.

I'm unhappy because I eat.

I didn't know.

I thought that was Socrates.

I didn't know that was Fat Bastard.

Same but different.

The same but different.

I eat because I'm unhappy and I'm unhappy because I eat.

Like, that's like that vicious psycho you're always talking about.

Like, oh, you're trying to get dressed for something.

You feel disgusting, fat, like, everything you're wearing doesn't fit you.

And the only thing that makes you feel better is eating.

Yeah.

Or like you go to a party or something and you just like are not feeling yourself.

You're just like insecure and you go home and like, you just have to eat.

Right.

Like eating's what got you to that.

Even though you're insecure because of the eating.

Yeah.

But that's just life, man, you know?

I eat because I'm insecure.

I'm insecure because I eat.

You're not fat because I hate you.

I hate you because you're fat.

So those are just some words to hopefully not live fine.

Philosophical words of wisdom to start you off on your day.

You know?

Courtesy of fat bastard.

And the law is reason-free from passion.

Always.

Always.

That's the one.

You're wearing a very cute sweatshirt today.

Would you like to tell the group about it?

I would because it is our mama crewneck from our Toast Mama collection that we released right before Mother's Day.

So you could get yourself a little something sweet for you.

And we have Bebe merch and toddler clothing.

Merch.

What's after toddler?

Bitch, you are asking the wrong world.

Right.

No, it's like it goes up to 4T5T.

So it's like t-shirts for kids.

It's the cutest designs ever.

This little podcasting bear.

I read on page six that actually Harry was running around town in his toast t-shirt.

He was spotted in his Toast t-shirt looking so cute.

And of course, that, you know, size and color immediately sold out once, you know, everybody heard World was wearing it.

Of course, it was like the Kate Middleton effect.

Exactly.

So you can still get all of these things that are available at toastmerch.com.

We have onesies for babies and newborns all the way up to 24 months.

We have t-shirts for toddlers, and then we have crew necks, t-shirts, tote bags, and mugs for the mamas.

It was just like a little gift to the mamas.

100%.

Also, if there's a mama in your life and you don't know what to get her, that's it's really for the aunties to buy gifts for the mothers, in my opinion.

Yeah, do you want one of these that says the toast auntie?

Yes, I do.

She's like, I think the next job swapped out the words.

The word mama.

Yeah, that would be nice.

Extremely niche collection.

I think there'd probably be like 13 of us, but we're a strong but mighty crowd.

And 13 people deserve a crew neck.

They do.

And I think it's worth it just to make the little tweak.

I agree.

Oh, you're looking gorgeous today.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

So are you, Tan Legs?

Oh, my God.

Tan Legs.

This is like an old spray tan.

I'm showing a lot of thigh on the YouTube today, which is why the iPad is covering.

Like, my whole pussy's out.

Like, it's not cool.

This is a nice family show.

Okay.

Sure.

We're not a nice family show?

No, like, your whole pussy isn't out.

Oh, because it's just a leg.

It's just like a lot of thigh, you know?

It's just thigh.

It's a lot of thigh.

Any thighs, too much thigh?

No, no.

I showed thigh yesterday on the toast.

It's that time of year.

I've got to get comfortable showing leg on the toast, you know?

It's 65 degrees today.

It'll hit 70 by the time we leave the studio.

Yeah, I'm struggling with that because

I can't like get a spray tan.

So

my legs are so pale.

Maybe you should, you know, sit outside and get a real tan on your legs.

That like doesn't happen for me.

Same.

So I know that there are like self-tanning products that are pregnancy safe.

They're like made with just like coffee.

Oh.

Which I could do that.

But I haven't like committed.

It hasn't started to bother me enough yet that I'm not showing my legs.

But I do have like a cute few dresses it would be nice to wear on the show, but not in the state of these legs.

Well, how are pregnant women self-tanning their legs?

Like you can't bend over.

You got a baby in front of you, you know?

Oh, I guess we're just going up to mid-thigh.

Or maybe like we're having our hearts.

Well, like I can touch here.

I can reach it.

I could reach it.

Oh, so I guess you'd be sitting.

Yeah.

Okay.

Reach.

Reach.

Reach.

I don't give a reach.

I don't give a reach.

No, I don't.

So maybe that's what's next for me.

Perhaps.

But what was also next for me this morning was I listened to a wonderful podcast that got me in the chatty mood.

Yeah.

Two of the chattiest girls I know.

So true.

Shannon and Snatchler.

The Snatcher went on Shannon's podcast when we were in Nashville.

Shannon just does a premium.

Did you listen to his audio or YouTube?

I listened as audio because I was doing my makeup, but you know how much I love watching video.

So it was like, I feel like I need to watch it again as a video because I'm missing Keith elements.

And they're gorgeous girls.

They got all dressed up.

And they get all dressed up.

Like, I want to watch it.

I watched on YouTube.

It was a gorgeous way to get dressed.

I love having something to watch in the morning.

It kind of makes like the whole getting ready process so much more fun.

No, I really felt like I was getting ready with my girlies.

We were chuckling, we were laughing, we were getting deep.

Yeah, of course.

So it was really enjoyable.

And it made me want to put on a good show today.

It inspired you?

It inspired me to podcast my little heart out.

Just to podcast the hardest you've ever podcasted in your life?

No, but not too hard.

Like, I don't want to be like, I'm trying too hard, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I do know.

Why are you smiling like that?

Because

it's a delicate balance.

It is a delicate balance to deliver a show that has it all, but not too much of it all.

Yeah, because people could sniff that out.

100%.

You just have to be yourself, but you want to be your best self.

And how are the stories today?

Like, category.

The stories are good.

Yeah.

Yeah, the stories are really strong.

The first four kind of fell into slot immediately.

It's the best.

And then the fifth was just like some random biz news that will take us on a tangent, which is kind of my perfect lineup.

Yeah, I agree.

Like four solid celeb stories and fifth randomness that will make us have something funny to say.

Very cool.

Well, my book club met last night.

It was a great success.

I read it in page six.

Didn't make the stories, but I figured because you would bring it up.

Yeah, we met.

It was really

a success.

You know, pretty much everyone hated the book except Marklish.

She like loved it.

She couldn't believe we all hated it, which is good.

You know, at least somebody should enjoy the book.

She was the Margo of the the group.

But it doesn't really matter.

Like,

the main event last night wasn't the book.

It was the food.

Like, Abe went all out on desserts, on entrees.

It was really just, I ate so much.

Like, I was, I actually got home and I was not okay from how much I ate.

Spaghetti, steak, chicken, rice, sweet s'mores for dessert.

Two proteins, wow.

Yeah, no, there was like three proteins.

It was also kebabs.

I didn't have kebabs.

It's just like, I'm really hungry.

So it's kind of like hard for me to hear.

Well,

you know, the word kebab.

Like, when you think of the word kebab, what do you think of?

Shish.

Kebab.

Shish, kebab.

I exclusively think of Shaws of Sunset, and like, I really can't say the word kebab.

I have to say kebab.

Oh.

There are so many words that like I say differently, seriously, because of Shaws of Sunset.

Is that where Grit comes from?

Maybe.

Even when I talk to or talk about Mercedes-Javid, it's Mercedes.

Yeah.

Mera Cedes.

But if you were to buy a vehicle.

Mercedes from Mercedes.

Yeah,

I can keep the two separate.

Got it.

Mera Cedez.

You look like a piece of wood.

Mercedes drives a Mercedes.

She does, actually.

And yes.

She has to.

Of course.

Mera Cedar.

It's like Shannon has to drive a Ford truck.

You know, a new.

She does.

She was going down Shannon Ford Road.

It really always took us where we wanted to go.

A nice little reality TV like

thing that happened is, you know, they unfortunately canceled Chaws of Sunset, which was so disgusting.

But Mercedes actually works at the agency now, Mercedes, not Mercedes, Mauricio Umansky's company.

Is she on their show?

She should be because she's reality TV gold.

She is.

But she's still very much like a part of the Bravo universe.

And there's a lot of spin-off shows like, ah, some TV I was watching had Traitors on.

Yeah, it's like a peacock show with all like the villains from past reality TV shows.

And also some lay people.

Like who?

No, lay people.

Oh, like citizens?

Citizens.

Private citizens.

ordinary people i think that's what i gleaned from the show i was kind of trying to put the pieces together i was as i was watching by the way i actually heard that show was like amazing i heard that too i watched an episode i didn't feel that way but i also didn't watch a whole episode and i didn't know what was going on so it's not fair to say yeah but i wasn't like feeling like oh my god i'm pulled in no i had heard that that show like had a really unique like concept not unique or just like a good concept with good people and the first season was kind of gangbusters they had like you know past villains brandy glanville Jax, Taylor.

Yeah, I had heard people, they weren't all villains.

Oh, like

Kyle Cook is in it.

Ari a little bit of a villain.

Ari Leindike.

He actually was a villain.

Okay, fine.

I guess I'm not going to be able to do that.

I guess anyone could be a villain.

Kyle Cook is not a villain.

No, I.

It's just us.

No, no, no.

I think he's like a villain.

No, he's like

the affable.

I guess.

He's like Tom Sandoval before Scandoval.

Like, only a villain in our eyes.

Yeah.

I saw on TikTok Tom Sandoval

has fled the country.

He was at the LAX International Airport, probably getting out of Dodge before the reunion.

Did they know where he was going?

No, he was just like going through security.

And fun fact, he did not have TSA pre-check.

Maybe he was just going on vacation.

Well, I also don't know, like, if everything we know about Tom Sandoval up until this point would lead me to believe he's going to lean in.

You know, people are going to be talking about him more than ever.

Running away is not something.

It's not, you know, it's very out of character for him.

Yeah.

I mean, he like loves it.

He's like still in the house.

If he was a runner, he would be.

Right.

He's a runner.

He's a track star.

But it's just like what I saw on TikTok, which means, you know, it's obviously true.

Obviously.

So I guess that's all.

So the book club was good.

That was.

The book club was good.

Yeah.

I don't have a lot to catch up with everyone on.

I like didn't do much like worth discussing yesterday.

Yesterday was just like kind of a blur.

I don't even remember.

We had our BHD.

Right.

We had our big day out with Harry.

Harry actually came to the studio.

What did he say when he got home?

What did he think?

He was really impressed with the operation.

With the lights and the cords.

Yeah, he was like, mom, you've got a really good thing going.

I'm proud of you.

And it's like, yeah.

He actually sat in this chair right here.

I knew it felt different when I sat in it today.

And he was just kind of taken in, mesmerized by the lights.

He loved the phone stand.

He loves a phone stand.

And then we took him out to lunch and he had pizza and it was just like an amazing day.

Like when I got home, Ben was like, how was your day?

And I'm like, well, it was amazing, you know?

And that's not something you usually hear on a Monday.

No, not from like a, like, what normally would have been like a standard work day.

Right.

I was like, oh, it was good, productive.

How was your day?

I said, Ben, I had an amazing day.

I actually think I said, you know, I had the best day with Rold.

Did it not to be so annoying, but did it get like your ovaries tingling?

Fuck off, no, honestly.

Like the way I couldn't even eat, I was like, Harry, like, are you choking?

Harry, you need water.

Harry, what do you need?

Harry's falling out of the high chair.

Like, honestly, no.

If you're going to ask a question, I'm going to be fucking honest.

No.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, that hasn't happened for you at all.

Through this process.

Even with Michaela.

No.

Every time you're with the kids like you have the best time but it does not leave you other people are like my ovaries are too low no honestly when when i'm spend time with the kids like i'm so fulfilled but i also like i hit a point where i just like slowly back away and retreat to my bedroom like it's a lot yeah like and i'm when i'm with the kids i'm not focusing on like the ovary love part i'm focused on like the laborious part i'm like okay i've had enough gotta go like i love these kids we take a bullet of them get out of the car Okay, you know?

Okay.

Just had to ask.

Yeah.

Because I'm sure people are thinking it.

Oh, were they?

Like, I feel so fulfilled by my nieces and nephews.

Like, honestly, it's enough for me.

Day now.

Like, you and Olivia did too good of a job having the most perfect poo-poo children that

what could I possibly offer?

You know, what can you bring to the table?

Nothing.

Like, K,

Rold,

Levi?

Seriously?

Like, it's good.

Okay.

We'll leave it at that.

Yeah, we will.

We'll circle back.

Do you know what's good for you?

We'll circle back in a year.

Yeah.

So now that all the questions have been asked.

Right now that you've like invaded my personal ovary space.

You're not touchy about that, are you?

No, no, I'm not.

When it's from

people I don't know.

Of course, that's fucking weird.

Like, I'm not going to say her name, but like, you know who I'm talking about.

Like.

Oh, my God.

No, I didn't.

She said something so funny.

I didn't know who you were talking about.

Actually, you weren't even there.

I was with Olivia.

Oh, my God.

She was like, what about you?

Like, I don't know this person at all.

She does not know this person.

I barely.

And she was like, what what about you you don't want to do it and i was thinking of like making up a lie like i like oh my god like just to make her feel bad because like fuck off bitch yeah that's crazy and by the way it's nobody juicy like it's not a celebrity or an influencer it's nobody

person it's just like some bitch yeah that's who i already got bad vibes from the first time i met her i just felt like i didn't like her yeah no that's so crazy and you know i'm coming just from a place of curiosity and like no dude

you're completely fine like over the weekend we had um brunch with a bunch of girlies some who are pregnant, some who have kids, some are in the stages.

Like, everybody's in different stages.

And we all were talking about it, and everyone was just bringing up like where they're at.

And I don't feel any that's a safe space.

Like, yeah, if I know you and love you, but like, if I don't, like, you better watch your fucking mouth around me, bitch.

Yeah.

But safe space is a safe space.

And the toast is a safe space because it's also like the element of like list broadcasting.

No, like, people were wondering, you're, you're within your right.

You're well within your rights to ask.

Okay, okay, cool.

Cool.

You're welcome.

Now, I think, without further ado, did it do, here are the fast five stories that you need to know.

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some heat again after comments made on a podcast.

Yes, I saw she was on Jay Shetty, but I didn't see what she was getting back last week.

Okay, I'll tell you what she said and then what people are saying.

So here's what she said.

Kim Kardashian speaks on the chaos of being a single mom.

She admits that parenting is one of the quote most challenging yet rewarding things she has encountered in life.

She said, there are nights I cry myself to sleep, like, holy shit, this fucking tornado in my house, like what just happened.

Actually, this is perfect regarding, considering the conversation we just had.

She went on Jay Shetty's podcast and had a conversation about parenting and also being a single mom.

She emphasized that even in the mess of it all, it is still the best chaos.

She said, everyone says the days are long and the years are short.

And that couldn't be like a more true statement.

It is the most rewarding job in the entire world.

There is nothing that can prepare you.

I don't care how long you wait.

I don't care what you're waiting for.

You are never prepared.

So people are

upset.

So she opened up about the chaos in her home life, saying that sometimes she gets through the night hour by hour to see if we're going to survive.

If a tantrum comes in, oh my God, your life is completely upside down.

And she talked about like crying herself to sleep some nights like just from the stress and just the chaos of it all.

Okay.

So people are slamming her saying she's acting like she's middle class and complaining about her struggles as a single mom.

You know, she has a full staff and nannies to help her and that she's not

right, like

allowed to complain.

Okay.

I mean, I just so don't agree with that like whatsoever.

Like I just don't like just because it's different than other people's situations doesn't mean she's not entitled to talk about it She is a single mom She's also I think feel like what we know about her like yes She has all this infrastructure I'm sure she has like a team of nannies and everything.

But she's like a really involved mom.

And so as much as you have help, like you still want to do everything yourself.

And your kids, at the end of the day, like want their mom.

And I don't know.

I just feel like she's entitled.

That's like that thing.

Like, you know, I'm drowning in 100 feet of water and you're drowning in 20 feet of water, but we're both still drowning.

So true.

I've never heard that.

Yeah, I heard it on Olivia Jade's story once and it actually really stuck with me.

It's like, people are allowed to complain even if their situations are different or better than yours.

Right.

So here are some of the tweets around

of what people are saying, just to give color to like what people are saying.

And I just want to say, I wanted to listen to what she had to say because without the whole context of the conversation, like it's...

Not worth having a take on it.

But then Shannon and Sinch dropped their episode.

Right.

And so you were otherwise.

I was otherwise preoccupied.

She said, quote,

Tweeter said, she also talks as if she doesn't have a full staff of people helping her.

What the fuck?

Someone else.

Kim has four nannies, one assigned to each kid.

Motherhood is not hard.

Nannies are raising her kids.

She needs to stop trying to act like she's middle class.

I just want to say, I'm like the biggest Kim fan ever, and I don't know that to be a fact that she has a kid.

But she's a kid, a nanny per kid.

Where did since

I don't know that either?

It could be true, but like, where did we learn that?

Yeah, and at no point in what she was saying did I feel like she was trying to be middle class.

I mean, she's sitting there like looking like, you know, dying.

Like she's so famous.

Oh, for a second, I thought she was middle class.

Like, I never fucking thought that.

Like, that's not a valid.

And I also don't think she was doing that thing that a lot of celebrities do that bothers me, where they like try and be relatable.

Yeah.

Where they,

you know, complain about like relatable things that everyone goes through, but it's like, you actually don't go through that.

I actually don't feel like that's what she was doing.

I feel like one thing about motherhood is like, it really is like the great equalizer.

Like no matter how many, you know, how much help you have or how much money you have, like everyone, especially like...

I feel like what we know about the Kardashians, like they're really involved parents.

They don't just like, you know, toss their kids to some facility and like run away.

Motherhood really is like the great equalizer.

And yes, certain people have helped, but it's still like it takes a village.

It takes a village, and it's still like a lot of pressure to raise people.

You know what I mean?

And so I feel like even if her day-to-day looks different from other people's, like she still has a world of pressure on top of her taking care of four kids, like running multiple businesses.

Being a single mom.

Being a single mom.

But we also, I don't think we talked about this on the show, but we kind of did because that person

Jeremy Allen White's ex-wife had said that she's now a single mom.

And we were like questioning: does single motherhood motherhood apply to divorced parents where the father is in the picture?

No, it's a good question.

And you know what?

You know that Jeremy Allen White's Addison Timlin, his ex-wife, actually changed her caption from single mother to co-parent because maybe she got like backlash.

I was just curious.

I don't know what qualifies a single mom.

I think Kim is qualified as a single mom because one, she is divorced and two, like Kanye is very,

you know.

In and out.

In and out.

He like lived in Wyoming for a while and he's like going through stuff stuff and I don't know.

I'm sure he's involved, but I think I would consider her a single mom.

Yeah, I think people are also questioning that qualification too, considering Kanye is around and he's also, you know, a financial provider.

Right, that's true.

And he also wants to be with his kids.

He's always making videos like trying to show up.

Yeah.

So they were

triggered by her use of that term as well.

Yeah, we actually did just have that conversation, I think, off air.

I don't know what is...

what constitutes a single mom.

I don't know if being divorced constitutes a single mom.

Because you're single and you're a mom.

Right.

And like when the kids are with you, you are single mothering.

Yeah.

But the difference between that and like supposedly a widower is like a widower doesn't get, you know, weekends custody.

Right.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know either.

And also we don't know what her situation with Kanye is.

Right.

So if she's calling herself a single mom, like I'm going to call her a single mom too.

Like, yeah.

Yeah.

And I just, it's crazy.

Like, it's so crazy.

I'm sure this conversation was like extremely.

Fine and normal.

Long, like, no, like, long and in-depth.

And, like, you just take away the fact that she, what, she's not allowed to cry at night because she's stressed and overwhelmed by her life.

Right.

Like, who gave you permission?

Right.

Just because you don't think, like, if you were in that situation that you would cry doesn't mean her feelings aren't valid.

Right.

No, I don't agree with this backlash.

I'm china in this backlash.

It's not real to me.

Okay, but it's, like, very real for people.

Yeah, well, that's on them.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, per usual.

Right.

Just because, like, just because somebody's life is different and, in your opinion, easier doesn't mean that they don't struggle with something.

Right.

Like, that's just, I don't know, I reject, I reject this backlash.

I don't know her.

Okay, well, I still want to watch the interview because it looks good.

And she doesn't do podcasts a lot.

It's Kim like, we've never seen her before.

And there's video.

And most importantly, there is video.

Right.

So I shall be watching.

Watch, she shall.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yep.

Some love news.

Billionaire Jeff Bezos is engaged to Lauren Sanchez after nearly five years together.

Wow, it's been five years.

I know.

They are really having a week.

And I guess this whole big week was the lead up to this big engagement.

Amazon head Jeff Bezos and his girlfriend Lauren Sanchez are engaged.

The pair are in the south of France for the Cannes Film Festival, where they have been hitting the star-studded party circuit while staying on his $500 million yacht with the mermaid resembling Lauren adorning the prow.

Lest We Not Forget.

Rumors have been swirling this week as Lauren was seen with a diamond ring on her finger.

They have been inseparable since they started dating in 2018.

Like, very normal.

I know.

You know what?

Between, you know, the conversation we had about them, I think, last week, and this, like, I ship.

I'm so here for this age-appropriate, you know, long-term relationship.

Now, of course, did he cheat on his wife with her?

The timeline was like a little murky.

The timeline's a little murky, but you don't know when people got separated, when like, you know, they moved to separate bedrooms.

Yeah.

Etc., etc.

So, I don't know.

I'm because she was also married too.

Yeah.

It was like a little, there was an apharagous nature to the beginning of their relationship.

However,

I'm okay with it.

Five years of commitment yeah and now an engagement soon they'll you know they'll be engaged for a year and a half and get married right at the plaza right just like a couple of millennials literally yeah i mean that wedding is gonna be next level in terms of guest list yeah like who at that point do you even invite to your wedding everyone i think they're gonna go big

yeah

It's nice.

It is nice.

I weirdly am on

the shop now.

Me too.

And it's making him much more likable.

I feel like he went through a period period of just being like a clown.

Yeah, no, like an alien.

Like, he just, like, he's not in a lot of ways, not human.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

He feels extraterrestrial.

Maybe that's why he's trying to go to space.

To be amongst his people.

Right.

Yeah.

Like when he wore like that cowboy hat.

You know, like everything he does is like a little fucking weird.

Yeah.

He just like can't be cool.

No, but she feels very normal to me.

Um,

and I don't know.

I feel like she normalizes, like, humanizes him in a sense.

Yeah.

And they're always together, like, doing activities.

They went to Coachella.

Yeah.

You know?

They went to dinner with Kim, Kardashian.

Which is the most normal thing you could do.

Right.

It's nice.

I like it.

I like it too.

Because I like it.

Yeah.

It's good.

Congrats to the happy couple.

Yeah, her ring is beautiful.

I think it was 20 carats, which is insane.

Jeez.

And the only photos we really have are like blurry paparazzi of them outside.

So it's not like, you know, an official Instagram announcement.

Yeah.

But hopefully we'll get that soon.

If they're going to be as chuggy as we think they they are, I think we'll get like a full-blown engagement photo shoot.

I think so.

Maybe in a field somewhere, like a bachelor couple.

I love that for them.

Me too.

I would love to see it.

Or on the boat.

Oh, of course.

Maybe with the statue in tow.

That'd be nice.

That would be.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Another bit of podcasting information because Nick Jonas went on Armchair Expert and he is talking about his tragic performance with Kelsey Ballarini that landed him in therapy.

And as a Nick fan and a Kelsey fan, I did not know about any of this.

What performance?

Nick Jonas has revealed that his infamous performance with Kelsey Ballarini at the 2016 Academy of Country Music Awards, the ACMs, landed him in therapy.

He joined Kelsey on stage for a rendition of her song Peter Pan.

I love that.

But just moments after starting the duet off fine, he recalled his tragic off-key guitar solo that seemingly marred the performance.

Oh, guitar solo.

Okay, it's better than a vocal solo.

I feel like when there are performances and then people go into like long solos, that's like when everybody goes and and gets a snack.

So I don't know.

He said a really good tragic guitar solo debacle happened on live TV.

I come out for my thing.

I rehearsed it a million times.

I'm feeling really confident about it, not even really thinking about it like it's going to be problematic.

I started off.

It was fine.

And as I walked towards her, I just went completely blank and I hit a wrong note and blacked out basically and clocked that it was wrong and I couldn't stop.

At the time, he poked fun at himself and laughed along with a torrent of jokes on social media, writing, yes, I screwed up the solo thanks to a huge brain fart.

We're all human and shit happens.

But whoever made this is genius about like a million.

I mean, looking back on the mishap years later, he said, in retrospect, I can kind of laugh about how big I thought it was, but it did travel more than I wish it would have.

And it did cause me to go to therapy.

Until this day, and hours after unpacking it, I can't really figure out exactly what happened, but I was rushed to a car and rushed to a plane right after it.

And I looked at my manager and said, I think that was bad.

I was like in shock, kind of.

Like, it was a really traumatic moment that shaped the pressure I put on myself to be perfect and to be always on.

That's interesting.

I have quite literally no idea what performance this is, which is so crazy because

of course, because I know everything.

And I do feel.

I could understand how this is devastating for him.

And I actually think it's worse than his voice giving out because we all know Nick Jonas is a really good singer.

And so if he did one performance and he sounded bad, like we could say it was an off day, I would never be like, oh, Nick Jonas has been lip-syncing his whole career.

Like he's an established good singer, but I do think he really prides himself on being a musician.

And to go out and do a guitar solo and like totally fuck it up, like you look like you're playing pretend.

yeah and i do kind of really respect his acknowledging because i feel like

he definitely like is always trying to like be and do the most and like be perfect and he's always been that way and it's like kind of annoying um but the fact that it's like something he acknowledges and like works through in therapy it's like and i think it's probably like from always being compared to his brothers like that has to be so toxic that he just wants to be like the best guitar player he could be and the best vocalist he could be and it like honestly like i feel like in at points in time like it has made him annoying yeah um so it's the fact that it's something he like actively knows that he does and like works on like actually really like is relatable.

Like, yeah.

And I respect that.

I respect that.

And I understand how an incident like this could make him be even more annoying about it and like striving to be perfect.

Yeah.

And just really devastate him.

Yeah.

Well, I'm quite literally running home to go watch his performance.

I'm so curious.

And it is funny.

That's also, I just think like a relatable thing in life, like there are things in your life that you feel like were such big deals, like that really like shaped who you are.

And quite literally, nobody cares.

Like I don't, like, I'm a huge country music fan.

I have quite literally no idea what he's talking about.

No, I know, but I'm sure at the time, like, it was really big, but it also feels really big when you're in the center of it.

And, like, still, the worst thing that's ever happened to you, just because it's not as bad as the worst thing that happened to someone else, like, it's still hard for you to go through.

Yeah, no, of course, but in that moment, you think it's the biggest thing going on in the world.

Yeah.

And then, in retrospect, and those things take time, you realize, like, nobody cared.

Yeah, well, also, this landed him in therapy, which is always a good thing.

Yeah, but then it made him more of a perfectionist.

Like, so the therapist should be fired.

Right, right.

I thought he was working on his perfectionism.

Yeah, like

he didn't heal well from this incident up until today.

Well, he's talking about it, which is a good sign.

I mean, it's

eight years later.

Oh, wow.

I cannot wait to go watch.

Yeah, same.

Just to like kind of see the look on his face.

Like, that's what's most interesting.

When like live TV goes wrong, how people like hold their composure, I find to be the most interesting part of it.

But I also fully understand how this could happen, like to have a brain fart.

Like sometimes it's like, I know my credit card number backwards and forwards, but like if you were to ask me like sometimes i'm like i don't i don't know no and then like your muscle memory just like gives out yeah and i think no matter how many times you perform in front of like a lot of people like it's always a little bit jarring to be in like an arena full of people and on a televised program you know even the most

you could like literally just like black out it's a muscle memory and then you just like start to doubt yourself and it's all goes to shit i think that all the time about like dancers like the choreograph choreography like it's like you know minutes long choreography how on god's green did la da earth do they remember that?

Like, I'm always singing that when I'm watching, um, like, Eris tour content, it's like a three-hour show, like, and you don't mess up just like one dance,

true, and I know that they're professionals, like, that's why I can't wrap my mind around it.

Your muscles get used to it, but then, like, sometimes it could happen where you just, like, doubt yourself.

But at least in that situation, there's other people doing it, so you could pick it back up.

That's true.

That's true.

But still, like, I have mad respect for like dancers.

It's because you have to be giving it your all, yada, yada, but there's also so much brain work in remembering, like, oh, kickball change comes next, pada bere.

Yeah.

Like, that shit really, like, impresses me.

Same thing.

Broadway people memorizing their lines.

Oh, my God.

That is something I actually am in awe of.

Like,

Broadway specifically, because it's not like you can, like, cut and get a line.

But even in movies, like, people memorize, especially like long for like Law and Otter, like, they memorize so many lines.

Like, they do, like, 25 episodes a season.

And yeah, they get to cut and stuff.

But for the most part, you need to have your lines down.

I don't know how that works.

Meaning.

I I feel like you could get away with not memorizing your lines

and them cutting.

No way.

Like, yeah, you can forget for sure, but like, for the bulk, you need to know what's going on in the story.

Yeah.

In order to know how to act.

I guess it's part of the talent of the trade.

No, but Broadway, like theater actors, that is beyond impressive.

Yeah.

It's like three-hour shows.

It's crazy.

Mm-hmm.

And I've actually been to a lot of shows.

I don't think I've ever seen anybody fuck up a line.

Maybe you wouldn't know.

Right, because they like cover it up.

They have ways of covering it.

Because it's perfection.

Like it always is.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

No.

Okay.

I'm not.

Okay.

You want to know why?

Yes.

Because today's episode is brought to you by Eucora.

It has been a minute since we've spoken about Eucora.

Actually, fun fact, Eucora was one of our first sponsors ever.

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Okay, our next story, the divorce between Kim and Croy is getting even messier.

Last week we reported that she accused him of being addicted to drugs.

To drugs, and now Croy is saying that Kim's gambling problem financially devastated the family.

You know what?

There is like a...

a record of that.

So

Croy claims that Kim's gambling has financially devastated their family.

The former NFL player is requesting in new court documents obtained by page six that the former railhouse eyes of Atlanta Star undergo psychological evaluation because of the compulsions she's presented.

Kim has allegedly been, quote, spending substantial time and marital funds on gambling and other games of chance, he claims in the documents, and this compulsion has financially devastated the parties.

He further alleged that Kim's time is so consumed with online gambling that she cannot properly take care of their four minor children.

So this is, you know, a shit slinging competition about who and why they can't take care of their kids.

Although I do want to say that.

And he wants her tested for mental health issues such as depression, narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar disorder, and more.

Okay, that obviously like to me feels like a stretch.

However, like in terms of the shit being slung, like

if you watch the show, she like loves to gamble and it's definitely like fun, but you know, that is a slippery slope.

Like I feel like there's more proof, like more of a record that she's a gambler than him being like addicted to drugs.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, agreed I also feel like he would have thrown in alcoholism because there's a long record of her drinking all the time on the show like not in a way that was ever concerning to viewers but like you could make the case because I feel like they're just at this point trying to make a case for why the other shouldn't have custody and this is like the type of situation where like actually having spent years on a reality show really doesn't work in your favor because like there's tons of footage and maybe they just went you know to have content but her at the casino you know yeah now that's just like in people's minds and there's a record of it so it kind of works against you in a situation like that But like that was a huge storyline like she you know when they took that RV she was only down because like they were going to the casino.

Yeah,

so oof.

Yeah, right.

This is where it like comes back to bite you in the ass even though I don't know if it's necessarily even admissible in court because it's

art.

It's art right exactly.

It can it's you know, it can be said it was scripted Because the law is reason free from passion.

Exactly.

And art is a passion.

Exactly.

Yes, it is reason free from law.

And do you know who said those immortal words?

Fat bastard.

Exactly.

So, back to my point, which is, I don't think it's admissible, but it like for the public, like, there's two things going on now.

Like, we're now all, you know, eating this up and taking aside and thinking what's real.

And then there's also, of course, like the actual legal part of it.

Yeah, this is just extremely messy.

About as messy as it gets in a divorce.

Yeah.

Just like trying to think of the worst possible thing you could say against a partner trying to take away custody of kids.

Yeah, it's bad.

And it's bad for those of us who like once shipped.

And we're hoping for like, you know, we grew apart.

apart.

I know.

And like, we'll co-parent.

And they both like love those kids so much.

Because they're each fighting for like sole custody.

Right.

Which is kind of crazy.

You think they both deserve custody.

Like, if, you know, if both parents are good, like,

what's wrong with joint custody?

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know.

We'll just have to let the children.

It's just very sad.

They have so many kids.

They were such a happy family.

Like, I'm just, I'm really still, like, I'm in shock from this.

I'm still in the phase of like denial.

Yeah.

It doesn't feel real to me.

I know, but it's realer than real.

It's not even like.

No, it's like, and it's getting bad.

It's getting bad.

Yeah.

So that's the latest update.

No, I really am upset about this.

Like.

Still doesn't explain why they got divorced, though.

Yeah.

Though they obviously fucking hate each other.

Right.

So maybe that's what happened.

Because in order to like get to this point where like you're saying really disparaging things about the parent of your child in a legal sense, like where it actually has has like consequences, you have to really fucking hate your ex-husband.

And like calling for psychological evaluations, drug tests.

Right.

It's dirty.

It's, it's, it's low.

Yeah.

We've gotten to a bad point.

So something must have happened to initially break up the marriage to the point where it was irreparable.

Yeah.

Sad.

Very sad.

And their kids are just so cute.

I just, like, I really love them.

I know.

And it was really like a fairy tale.

If you were there from the beginning, you know, like, how this was a fairy tale for Kim.

Like, not only was he so good looking and so cute, he loved her so much.

And he loved her girl so much.

And they had this like beautiful family where they couldn't stop having kids.

And they just.

The more you talk about the fairy tale nature of the relationships, the sadder this update is.

No, I know.

That's what I'm saying.

Like, that's why I'm still very much in the denial phase.

Because if you, if you've been there from the beginning, like, you know how like Croy turned Kim's life around, you know?

They only really got their own show because he was like like this famous NFL player, and then they had this crazy life together, and they had all these kids, and she was just like in and out of housewives, but then she became like kind of a new tier of housewife because she got her own show.

He

they were really great for each other, and honestly, it makes me really sad.

And like, they dealt with so much

with their families, like respective families.

Like, his family really did not like her, and he stood by her and he chose her and their family.

And Kim's family was crazy, like selling stories to the press.

Like, I think the public only ever found out that Ariana and Brianna,

is that their names?

Ariana and Brielle had different fathers because their grandma, Kim's mom, sold a story to People Magazine.

Like, it was so terrible.

I remember when that was on TV.

So, like, their families were just kind of terrible to them.

And they were just this

unit.

And, like, this story actually makes me so sad.

I'm going to let you have time to process and to grieve and take your time with coming to terms with it.

Thank you.

I've been there.

I know.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

A little irrelevant business news.

And like the way they like still loved each other and were so attracted to each other.

Like all these years later, after all these kids, it really was inspirational.

Love isn't real.

Like for real, I'm so upset.

That's why you need to know what happened so that you can

process and begin to accept.

Yeah.

Because you can't just go from like last season we saw Don't Be Tardy to this shit slinging.

Yeah.

No, you're right.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I'm done.

No, it's, as I said, take your time.

Thanks.

Fifth and final story.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shall we?

Do you want to sing a song to lead us in?

The final story.

I'll ship you till the very end.

Just as for catching KJ.

I went like a more somber, like ballad route this time.

No, it was nice.

We needed that sort of a moose-boosh

to take us into the next story, which is that Giphy, the app

that has all the gifts, has been sold and was, I guess, owned by Meta.

They were owned by Meta?

They were owned by Meta and they were sold to Shutterstock for $53 million, which is actually a loss because Meta had paid $400 million for it.

Well, I could see a time in which it was worth $400 million where like gifts were like, oh, yeah, gifts, like, and we were putting them everywhere and everyone was like making their own.

And now they're fucking fucking irrelevant.

But I feel like Meta made them irrelevant.

Like, I can't tell you how many times I've downloaded the Giphy app on my phone so that I could have it in my text messages.

Yeah.

Because I love to send a GIF in a text.

But you don't need the app to do that, do you?

Yeah, you do.

Because if you don't, it doesn't come up.

And literally,

by the way.

You don't have the Giphy app, but you have Giphy in your text messages.

Yes.

How?

When you open up your text messages, my application.

The A.

No.

No.

You press the red microscope thing.

Excuse me, images.

images, hashtag images.

And then you just search in GIFs.

You don't need the Jiffy app.

The thing about Jiffy, and I think part of the reason why it...

Look at me.

I'm going to be sending GIFs all day now.

I always would download the Jiffy app, then it goes to...

Save a GIF, and then...

No, no, it goes, then it becomes part of your applications that are available here.

Just the red microscope.

But then, like, you know.

What's that thing called?

Search?

No, not a microscope, not a stethoscope.

What is that little...

That's a microscope.

No, it's not.

It's a...

Oh,

when you hold a microscope.

A microscope is like a stationary thing you put your eye in.

This is like the glass circle with the handle that you put up against your eye.

It's called a stethoscope.

No, it's called a

seeing thing.

Like, hold on.

Over the looking glass.

What is it?

Magnifying glass.

Yes, thank you so much.

I was about to write seeing magnifier, but it's a magnifying glass.

Thank you.

And I think that's just further proof why like nothing about giffy slash jiffy, whatever you want to call it, was proprietary.

It was just a database of GIFs that they didn't own or make.

It was just like

curated from the internet.

So Apple was able to do it on their own.

So you could say the same thing about YouTube.

I could say the same thing about YouTube.

Yeah, I could.

But nobody ever came and did YouTube just as good.

Vimeo tried.

Triza.

Right.

And they weren't as good.

But like nothing about Giphy is ubiquitous, you know?

Like YouTube is ubiquitous.

Everyone, you need to see a a video, you're going to YouTube.

For a while, like when you would search videos on Google, they would give you like Google video, but like even they gave up.

Yeah.

They actually just bought YouTube.

Yeah.

Which was pretty smart.

But like

Meta's power is no longer what it was.

Like when they released Reels, there was a time when they released video, they shut down the world's biggest video app, Vine.

When they released Reels, I don't really feel like they made a huge impact on TikTok.

What?

I don't know.

Reels people are real real people.

No, I know, but I don't think business wise.

I'm just like waiting for TikTok to be banned.

And then I also read a report on Twitter last week that they're coming out with a Twitter competitor.

And I don't think it's like, you know, there was a day and time when they would have done that.

It would have shut Twitter down.

Their power is not what it was.

Like, if I had a company now and Meta wanted to buy it, like, of course, I would sell it to them.

But, like, I don't know if it would be like become the biggest, best company ever, you know?

Yeah.

And it used to be that way.

No, not everything they do is successful right now.

They're,

I don't know what's the future.

I guess they think the metaverse is the future.

Yeah, no, I can't.

I personally will not be engaging in the metaverse or any verses.

I like this real life.

The universe.

I just don't understand.

I don't understand the metaverse, like why people would want to live there.

I literally don't understand it.

No, and I like saw this girl complaining that she got robbed in the metaverse.

Yeah, people are getting raped in the metaverse.

You're kidding me.

Yeah.

But how does that work?

I don't know what the laws are there.

But can't you just take the glasses off?

No, like for real.

Like, isn't that?

No, I don't.

No, no, no.

I don't know.

Like, the metaverse, like, let's just...

The metaverse is not real.

Right.

So if somebody steals money from my wallet in the metaverse, like, I still have my wallet in the real world.

Like, you know what I mean?

Yes, but no, in the metaverse, like, you do have, like,

a digital wallet.

So if they take your money.

So the metaverse is, like, lawlessness?

No, that's why I'm not getting involved.

Like, yeah.

I feel like this is one of those things, like, everybody was like, you know, gangbusters for AI, and now it's like, it's literally ruining civilization.

And we're all trying to backtrack AI.

And now we're all like gangbusters for metaverse.

And then in a few years, we're going to be like, we wish we never did that.

And so I'm not participating in the Sharad.

No, and I'm not gangbusters for metaverse.

Take me out of that equation.

But I just want to say, like, AI can do wreak havoc on anything that it wants, but it will never take down the toes.

No, it won't.

But, like, there's no reason anybody should have created that.

And I think the guy who created it is like, damn, like,

sorry, y'all.

Like, I fucked up.

Yeah.

And I feel like the metaverse is going to to be one of those things.

And, like, also, whatever happened to NFTs, you know?

It's the same thing.

Like, is NFTs over?

No.

Because, like, the whole thing crashed, right?

With FTX.

Like, no, no, no.

Like, crypto, like, crashed, right?

Crypto, like, goes up and down.

No, but it had a big down.

It went down, and I feel like it was never the same.

And then FTX also was really bad for the crypto world.

Yeah.

And I just feel like there was a time when like everyone was talking about NFTs, and I feel like we're not talking about it anymore.

Like, I feel, I think it's like the trend, like, it's over.

Yeah.

Like what about all those people like quit their jobs to work in NFTs?

You know, I don't know.

What about like all that NFT art that they bought to hang in their metaverse house?

Oh my God.

The fact that people were out here using fake money to buy fake art.

No, using real money to buy fake art to hang in their fake houses in their fake universe.

Like this is like literally not the real world.

No.

Could never be me.

Like I am.

just like so firmly planted in the real world.

And I'm just not one of these people who could be like taken away in the metaverse.

Like I'm just, I'm not.

Good to know.

And, like, where do you even access the metaverse?

Like, okay, I want to go to the metaverse.

So tough.

Do I put on goggles?

Like, is it A-R?

V-R?

No, let's seriously say, I'd like to join the metaverse, please.

Okay.

Where do you join?

Let's find out.

Like, I'm sure we can find out from better.

Is it like a website you go to?

Join the metaverse.

Do you put on goggles?

Join us in the metaverse.

Building trust.

Okay, that's an ad.

What is the metaverse and how to get into it?

That's us.

Yeah.

Read aloud.

Hailed us the next generation of the internet.

Big tech's acolytes have high hopes for the metaverse, but though this new virtual space may change our lives, it's still largely misunderstood.

So ain't that the truth?

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Then keep yourself safe wherever you go online with powerful online security and privacy software like Avest1.

So for they want us to download Avest1.

Okay, and so then what?

No, I need like how to access the metaverse.

Download Avest1, and that's an application on your computer, and so you open it up like you would like photo games or Safari.

Here's what you need: equipment to enter the metaverse.

A computer.

Check.

Gaming console.

It's not necessary to access the metaverse, but they are beneficial if you would like to connect other equipment, such as a microphone and a VR headset.

Okay, I have a PS5 at home, but Ben does.

If you're interested in socializing in real time with additional equipment, a gaming console can provide an immersive experience.

Okay, I definitely want to be immersive.

VR headset.

To enter the three-year-old.

The VR.

Okay.

So when people say they're in the metaverse, they're actually like their eyes are in the metaverse.

Yeah.

And the hand-operated controllers.

Right, right.

So you're like really...

And still don't get it.

AR glasses.

Yeah.

Like, I'm all good, you know?

I'm set.

I'm set.

Even though I will say I went to

like an arcade like a year ago, maybe less.

And there was like a game that you sit in and you put the headset on.

And like, it's like a roller coaster kind of.

and you really, and it was super fun.

I don't know if that's the metaverse, but I had a great time.

Six flags in the metaverse.

No, like it was, it wasn't even six flags.

It was like this kind of, it kind of looked like Care Bears.

It was like this beautiful, like.

It did make you feel like you want to move there.

It was just like a beautiful rainforest almost, but it was all in pastel colors.

And I was like swirling down this creek and I was in this boat and then it was like, it was fun.

Could you sleep in the metaverse?

I guess just like not take your glasses off and fall asleep.

Just like close your eyes, but then you don't see anything.

But you don't see anything when you're sleeping anywhere.

But then you get to wake up there.

God, that sounds like a sleep.

Like you don't have to go back to your life.

I don't, honestly, I don't really believe in like creating new universes if you don't like the one that you're in.

Like, you know, we all have the hard things in life.

Like, we just got to power through.

Yeah.

The metaverse is not going to save you.

No.

Especially when you're saying it's running rampant with crime.

I go to the metaverse because I'm unhappy.

I'm unhappy because I go to the metaverse.

I think that's a perfect place to end the show.

Like, really full circle.

That was actually poetic, the way we just kind of started the show.

And there's nothing that needs to be said.

I go to the metaverse because I'm unhappy.

And I'm unhappy because I go to the metaverse.

That's actually like very poignant.

I think that's what's going on.

I do, too.

With a lot of people.

Like, there's no reason you should be putting on glasses and escaping.

And it's like an episode of Black Mirror, the one with Langevin.

Yes.

No.

And there was another one where he like plays in a video game with his friend.

They're like long-distance friends.

And they're both men who are straightened in relationships.

But when they play in the video game as their avatars, like one's one's a girl i don't know what their genders are in the game but they fuck when they play in the game oh my god and then they like have to see each other but they like have this affair going on in the video game interesting that sounds like a good episode the one that i'm referring to is landry from friday night lights whose name i can literally never remember but he's married to kirsten dunce you guys know him um he plays his video game at work after work and when he's at work he like snatches people from the workplace

and then copies them into his video game and they like live this like eternal life trapped in the video game but they find a way way to kill him.

I don't know.

That's basically what the metaverse is.

And he was a freak.

And I'm sorry, if you're like, if you're not experiencing, like, you're not going out and like meeting people and connecting with other humans and like traveling and experiencing things, you're just putting on glasses every day to live in a fake ass world.

Like, seriously, that's not okay.

There's something wrong with you.

I'm sorry.

There is.

Like, we all need to bloom where we're planted.

And we've been planted in the universe, not the metaverse.

No, I totally agree.

So that's kind of the lesson for today.

Thank you.

There's no toast in the metaverse.

No,

no, because we're like, we're real.

We're real people.

You say what you want about us, we're real.

And only real people exist in the universe, not the metaverse.

I'm so glad we, you're right, that did start a tangent.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast of the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast festories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts anywhere podcasts can be found.

So it's Podified Tunisia to Republic Radio, Irida Castle, all the place with the listener and podcast.

Man, that's Toasty Webserview about a beautiful sitting and wickedly talented.

We are.

Hope you guys have an amazing day.

We'll see you tomorrow for Hump Day, where we will be doing Deer Toasters.

We're back on schedule.

We will be.

I don't see a reason why we wouldn't be.

Me neither, unless somebody comes up.

Unless there's a jackhammer and taste all the way up.

But hopefully, we're good.

Love you.

Bye.