The Craziest Episode of The Toast Ever: Wednesday, May 24th, 2023

Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to the shows.

Happy Wednesday.

It is hump day.

So don't forget to hump someone you love.

And speaking of girlies that I love and would love to get my hands on in terms of humping.

You won't.

But you won't.

It's Jackie Yo.

Hey, Jax, how you dern?

Dern good.

Happy to be back with my girly swirly turdy loo.

Girly, whirly, swirly, turly, whirly, girly.

I think maybe that'll be my next single.

Maybe our twirly loo next.

No, turdy loo is so taken off.

And the more I like go out and meet toasters, last night we did a mean greet for Spritz the more I need to like I you don't even understand

every

I was like hi turdy Everyone.

It is I understand

I understand the feeling of being compelled to like call someone a nickname LARP it up like I love that for you guys.

It's lar turdy has honestly she's outgrown the show like she's Literally the biggest celebrity I've ever met.

Yeah, she'll be doing her own meet and greet soon.

Literally, she's going on tour.

I heard she's starting like a rival canned cocktail company.

I heard she's starting like a rival hair care brand.

It's going to be bigger than Beyoncé's.

I heard she's starting a rival podcast.

Oh, I didn't hear that.

I heard she's like thinking about starting a podcast with her husband.

Oh.

They don't have a format.

Yeah, yeah, it's going to be called Dirty Lou.

Dirty Loo.

And it's all about like.

Birdie Lou.

And what's it about?

Ben and Turdy.

Birdie Lou.

No, I thought it would be Dirty Lou, and it's about like sex.

Love it.

Trademark.

Trademark.

We've got a great show today because it's Wednesday, which is always just like a good day.

And also it's like a Wednesday that feels like a Thursday because we're operating on a short week because it's Memorial Day weekend.

And the summer is like kind of beginning.

We haven't even like spoken about that.

I know.

We could start wearing white jeans.

I actually

wore white pants last week.

I felt as though it was close enough.

I wore cream-colored pants, but also that's kind of like in style right now is like creamy beige hues.

Sad beige.

So

I don't know where that lies with like the fashion rule.

Right.

Like where do the trend and the rule kind of intersect?

But I think like paper white jeans, you know?

Yeah, yeah.

Like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That has to wait until after Memorial Day.

Very Nantucket.

Yeah.

Luckily, I don't have a pair of maternity paper white jeans.

I just have my cream trousers.

Well, I have some white jeans for my big fat days.

I still have to shop in your closet.

You do?

I have so much stuff waiting for you.

I'm so excited.

So that'll be fun.

And what also is going to be fun is we have deer toasters today.

And we have an update.

And it is an update.

Remember when Chelsea Handler came on our show and she did a bunch of advice with us?

Yeah.

It was a girl who had written in.

About a virgin.

Yes.

Okay.

And it's really interesting because you and I gave very different advice than Chelsea.

And

you'll have to wait till the end of the episode to see whose advice she took.

And how it panned out.

And how it panned out.

It's very interesting.

Wow, not you with the clickbait to continue listening to the episode.

Listen.

And for me to continue performing the episode.

Yeah, I'm just like, I see everyone online is constantly clickbaiting and I feel like we're a little too real.

Like we cut, we come on and we're like, hey, new episode today.

It's not our best.

Like I'm going to start clickbaiting the shit out of the show.

Okay.

We got bills to pay.

I know, but like we are so, we're talented women, I think.

I agree.

But we are not skilled in the realm of clickbait.

No.

And the one time we tried to clickbait, we got...

Roasted.

They were like, how could you do this?

I don't know how people handle this.

You said it was going to be this, but it was really this.

It was like, are we holding it?

Yeah.

Are we holding everyone this accountable?

No, it's like, we said it was going to be this and it ended up being that.

It's called clickbait.

We gotcha.

So yeah, we're a little too authentic for our own good.

Yeah, we could stand to be a little more like smoke and mirrors.

Right.

There's too much substance on this show.

We're too authentic.

We've got to dial it back, turdy.

Yeah, I'm going to start lying.

Or let's just like have a conversation that's like bogus, but we could like clickbait it, you know?

Okay.

See, I can't even come up because I'm so authentic.

I understand.

So it's going to be a great day.

Tell me about you, Jax.

What's new with you?

Jax is good.

We're recording the Redheads today.

Finished the book last night.

Really good.

And then I was reading the author's note at the end because the book is Edvika and the Hollywood Wives.

And it's about this woman who marries like a fancy, big, old Hollywood producer.

And then she starts to do research onto his ex-wives.

And in the author's note, the author was just like writing what inspired the story, how she was watching an old season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills one day.

And like, the, it was an old season, so she was just watching this couple with a husband, like, like, wasn't really interested in the wife at best, so

it was critical.

And wait, I need to think, and then there's a few more clues, and then I, and then I figured it out.

And

then it was so far in the past that they've since gotten divorced, and he's gotten remarried since to his fifth wife.

And she was just thinking to herself, like,

the fifth wife, like, doesn't know at this point.

Like, and so that's kind of what inspired the story.

Who has had fifth five wives?

It's so right there.

Is it a current housewife?

No, but she's relevant.

And he's relevant.

And his new marriage is relevant.

He being the husband.

Not Kelsey Grammar?

No.

I don't know.

David Foster.

Oh, duh.

Oh, man.

That's actually really good.

That's so funny.

I have quite literally never once in my goddamn life read

the author's acknowledgements except in a celebrity memoir because I want to see if they think like any other celebrities and sometimes I'm just like curious because like I wrote a book and I always want to see like do I have the same book agent as like any of these people?

Because actually my book agent has a lot of like top-tier clients.

Yeah, I feel like even on a regular fiction book, you should read the thank yous and acknowledgements because there's like industry people in there.

Like they'll cite their agency and their book at like it could be

insider information.

It could have been people that you worked with.

Maybe.

I just like once I'm done with the book, even if I loved it.

So here's the thing.

If I loved the book, I don't want to kind of break the fourth wall and like learn more about the author.

I'm good.

And if I hated the book, get this Kindle away from me.

Yeah.

So I really don't like to read the acknowledgements.

So much so that in my book, I actually didn't even write acknowledgements.

Damn, that's harsh, Turdy Lou.

I know.

That it kind of is something I like a little bit regret because it really are, I really have such a wonderful foundation.

But I remember like it was such a laborious process writing the book.

I'm like, I'm not writing more.

But also, your book is an acknowledgement.

You know,

if you're not in the book, like, why would you, but you're going to be in the acknowledgement?

No, it's not like you were like doing a show in your book and then here's the real me acknowledging everyone who made it happen.

Like the whole time you're speaking your truth, why do we need a chapter at the end of Turdy's truth?

Of truthsness.

Of turdy's truths.

No, okay, thank you for making me feel better about it.

They were like, do you want to write acknowledgements?

And my own experience with reading at that point was like, I hated the acknowledgements.

I'm like, no, I want to give substance.

I don't want there to be extra pages in the back of like crap.

Like, I want the book to be what.

Again, too substantial for her own good.

Too real.

I'm literally Simon Van Campen.

I am real.

You're, no, because you're too real.

I am too real.

Justice for Simon Van Campen.

Also, another interesting thing about Andy's book that things keep coming to me.

I actually wanted to share a funny anecdote with you because at my book club, club, someone else was reading it and we were just talking about it.

And I said, like, it wasn't the most substantial book.

I don't think he necessarily like had something to say.

But what I always have found most interesting about Andy's book is his level of celebrity is just so intriguing.

It's like, you know, on a daily basis, he's going to interact in a deep and meaningful way with 10 famous people and really famous.

And so his best friend's name is John Hill.

So he gets a text one day from John Hill, who he texts every day.

He hosts Radio Andy with him, of the trailer of Jonah Hill's new movie.

And Andy responded, and question mark, like, why the fuck?

Like, he didn't care.

And then he realized a few hours later that John never responded to him.

So he went back to his text messages and until it was Jonah Hill who texted him, the trailer to his new movie.

And Andy was like so dismissive, being like, and?

And then Andy had to be like, oh my God, I thought it was my rant.

And then Jonah Hill never responded.

Like very funny little things like that that I find so interesting.

But what I was going to say is, speaking of the Van Kimpens, Andy like really loves Alex McCord.

Like he really wanted her when they were talking about Rony Legacy, when they were talking about UGT, he like really reached out to her and she's very, like, she has such a new, happy, kind of clean slate life living in Australia.

And she, the fact that she even did the Ultimate Girls trip in Morocco was a huge thing, but she was like, she was offered legacy.

That makes sense, but she would have to move back.

Right.

And it's just not enough for her.

Good thing she said no because it didn't even happen.

Imagine moving back and the show doesn't happen.

Yeah, but it just gave me a lot of respect for Alex McCord.

Yeah.

And that was one of my takeaways during the pandemic when I rewatched Roni, like the early seasons.

So good.

Everyone, the audience included, but the women, like in the beginning, they were so mean to Alex McCord simply because she was like kind of weird and lived in Brooklyn.

Like, that was it.

Yeah.

She didn't really do it.

She was never a villain.

Reality TV has really evolved.

Like, one, like, you could never really gang up on someone like that anymore without a reason.

No, no, no, without like being totally like canceled yourselves.

Like, they don't treat people like that anymore.

Like, Sheena, the way that they treat her on Manor Pump Worlds, like, that would never fly now.

So, we're all changing and growing.

Growing, we do it every day.

We're growing in the evening and even when we play and we show one,

it's a fun win,

gargest now.

Such a good song from our childhood.

What's like your favorite nursery limerick rhyme thing?

Oh, such a good question.

I have so many on the tip of my tongue these days.

I love Do-Ray-Me.

That's one of my favorites because it's easy to play on all those kid instruments.

What about Ring Around the Rosie?

No, I don't fuck with it.

You don't?

No, but it's also like for kids who are running

around the rosy ring.

Right.

And that sounds like a nightmare.

No, and that's just like, I have a toddler, a tinfant.

Right, a tinfant.

He's not running nowhere.

No, apparently the word for Roll's age, like the colloquial word that we're all saying is he's a taby, a toddler baby.

I think that's cute.

Eye roll.

I don't think it's cute.

Like, let's not make up new words.

But it's confusing as you establish.

Right.

He's in a transitional phase.

Okay.

That's what I would say.

Okay.

Oh, also, I was like going to follow up with you by EOD.

I was hoping maybe after this we could like maybe hang out with Rold.

Yeah, he's got a busy day and he would love for you to join him.

Have some free time that I think I'll donate to Rold.

I love that for you.

But I'm also recording Redheads in the afternoon.

Last time I recorded Redheads, you were hanging out with him without me.

Remember?

Yes.

I just love to come on Redheads Day.

I do.

Maybe it's just like we're always recording Redheads, always working on our passions.

Passions, which is so important.

Yeah.

So what else did I want to share with you before we dived in?

I cannot recall.

I finished last night.

I'm all caught up on somebody somewhere, the Bridget Everett show.

Like, it's good.

I've decided, you know?

Okay, good.

Oh, my God.

And yesterday was such a fucking annoying day when I got home.

Like, I was exhausted from the meeting here.

They just wanted to watch my show and eat my chili.

HBO Max, you know.

HBO Max.

You have to download a new app.

They never said that.

They never said that.

I'm trying to be optimistic about the rebrand because I know like a rebrand, a lot of money goes into it.

A lot of time, like people's jobs are

mistake.

It's make or break.

And I want to be supportive because I think HBO Max has good content and they're trying something new.

And I'm just like trying to be there for them, but they need to make it easy for us.

So I will say, once I get to the end of the day, and then May 23rd was the big day.

Once I downloaded the new app, which just was such an inconvenience, because my chili was like already on my lap.

Like I was set up.

All of, I was already logged in and all of my like watch list, continue watching.

Like it was all like backloaded.

But why couldn't they just change the

logo?

upload a new file.

It was such a, it was such an inconvenience.

I really, like, I can't stress enough how inconvenienced I felt.

Damn.

So were you a Maxinista last night?

I was.

A Fashionista and a Maxinista.

What'd you watch?

Bridget Everett?

Bridget Everett, yeah.

And then a little bit of Young Sheldon, you know, as a palate cleanser before bed.

You're obsessed.

I'm obsessed with Young Sheldon.

I'm so happy that you have that.

I haven't found like a show that brings me peace in a while.

But I've also stopped searching.

Well, just know, like, I am, my time is almost up with Young Sheldon.

I know they have many, many seasons, but Young Sheldon becomes like Tween Sheldon.

And that's your least favorite.

And it gets like a hairy upper lip.

Like, I'm not interested when young children are on TV and then they go through that, like, awkward, like, kind of ugly phase, Brand Stark.

I, I can't watch it.

Is it confirmed that he has, like, that his transitional phase is ugly?

Like, some people, no, I'm sure.

No, I'm sure he's, he's a good-looking kid.

Like, he's handsome.

It's not like that.

I'm just not interested.

Like, I find I had to live through that part of life, and it was difficult.

I really can't watch it.

Okay.

You know?

Yeah.

Like, his voice cracks.

Like, I'm just.

Okay.

It's a little harsh, but.

It is harsh, but that's just like a bit of more.

It's your free time.

It's your entertainment.

Like, you choose what you watch.

And it's just, it's definitely a preference of mine.

I know I'm not saying ubiquitously, like, kids at the age of 12 to 13 can't act.

I just will not be supporting those arts.

And do you only feel that way about boy actors, correct?

Uh,

yes.

It's only like bothered you so far, but I feel like you haven't really experienced it.

Well, Sheldon is a twin sister.

How's she doing?

Right.

I just, I really don't like to watch like the puberty phase of kids.

Like, I just don't like it.

Like, it makes me uncomfortable.

I can't really explain.

I can't give any further information, but it just does.

Okay.

We'll leave it at that.

So I feel like we've clickbaited long enough.

Maybe we should dive into the stories.

What do you think?

We should dive into the stories because the stories are storying again, which I'm really grateful for.

Thank you to everyone who participated in the news yesterday and made yourself known.

And we have some really kind of like sickening sponsors today, so I'm kind of excited about that.

So without further ado, do it do, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

And today's episode is brought to you by the Kardashians on Hulu season three.

We are watching the all-new season of the Kardashians on Thursdays only on Hulu.

So the first episode, I believe, is out tonight.

There's so much hoopla.

The girls are back together.

I'm so excited.

And I was just saying I needed a pick-me-up show.

Oh, that's so good.

And this is it.

I just bid you season two and it was such a wonderful experience.

And I'm so excited for season three because they brought the goods.

The world's most famous matriarchy is back for the most intimate look yet inside the family empire.

There is a lot of speculation on what is going on between Courtney and Kim.

There was like rumors before, and then this trailer that dropped kind of fed into that.

So we know there's drama at the wedding, DNG, the whole thing.

There's a lot that happens this season that I'm really excited to see.

You know, the businesses, the sisterly bonds, the sibling rivalry, the dating, the newfound love, family growth, juggling business, motherhood, all of that things, all of those things.

So we're going to see each of the women up close and personal more than ever as they evolve as what it really means to be a Kardashian.

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And I feel like it's been a long time since last season, or maybe just like a lot has happened in my life.

And a lot has happened in their lives.

And even in a trailer that dropped yesterday, Chris is like making a toast and she's like to the worst.

The worst year ever.

And I'm like, what is she referring to?

Is it Wednesday night yet?

Because I have to know.

So don't miss season three of the Kardashians.

New episodes are dropping Thursdays only on Hulu.

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Yeah, but I see that you're selling it now.

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Our first story.

So we got some podcasting news today.

First podcasting news, Ariana Maddox is on Call Her Daddy.

The episode dropped last night.

I started watching it this morning while I was getting ready.

I made it about 24 minutes in, so I have a lot ahead of me because it's two hours.

I watched 35 minutes in.

Okay, so we know about the same amount.

And everything that I watched so far, like I already knew because I think Alex is really trying.

I don't think all of her audience watches Bravo and doesn't know exactly what happened.

So a lot of it is stuff that we just saw on the finale or that Ariana said I'll watch what happens live.

So like or just like giving context and background.

I will say I don't think I'm the target demo for the interview, but I do think it was like a really smart thing because everyone is now like scrambling.

For people who are into pop culture, but who don't know, they're like, where do I start?

What do I watch?

Peacock made like a watch list.

Here are all the episodes from all 10 seasons that you need to watch in order to be caught up.

So that was like a smart tactic, although I don't, like, I was finding it redundant just because not one thing goes on in Venezuela's.

I'm like a loser who doesn't know that I don't know about.

Right.

I think though in the whole two-hour interview, like there are stories and tidbits that we don't know yet.

Maybe we'll be finding out on the reunion with Jairis tonight.

Right.

Like one thing I saw.

Which is the headline that's coming.

Oh, right.

That's forthcoming.

What is it?

Just that Tom and Raquel had sex in their guest room.

No.

While she was sleeping next door.

Like Tom left her bed, went into the guest room where Raquel was, had sex with Arken, and then I think came back.

And that's what it's fucking disgusting.

But the other one that I saw was that when they, when Tom and Tom were in New York and they were on Watch Ravens Live, like, I remember Schwartz was like being so weird.

They were like talking about, he was like covering his mouth the whole time.

Raquel was in New York in Tom Sandoval's hotel room waiting for him.

So they're like talking about Raquel and Schwartz.

And like Schwartz knows, that's why he couldn't talk.

Yeah.

Oh, I didn't.

I thought that he knew, but not like the part that Raquel is in New York.

Made it even more awkward.

But I was watching, speaking of like clickbait, some of the questions in the trailer weren't really titillating.

I'm excited to get the answers.

Like, one, Alex is like, the band's not good.

Like, what were you

like?

What, like, let's.

Thanks, God.

You know, if I could ask Ariana one question, I would say, like,

this is what I would say.

For years, like, you supported that feminine, like, and it's not that great.

Well, actually, yesterday, I don't know if this is like a spoiler, but the good guys interviewed Kristen Doty, and I gave them a list of questions.

And one of my questions was, like, you were in a relationship with this person for many, many years.

Is Tom Sandoval, like, the person who we know right now?

Is that who he's always been?

Or like, has the show made him this monster?

Because, like, honestly, Ruck, I mean,

Ariana and Kristen, like, you both dated him for many, many years.

Did you not see what we saw?

Or is that like a new development where you blinded by his charm?

Like, what was it?

And I'm waiting to see their response.

Okay, great.

Good question.

So I'm curious to hear her response on that.

And then also she had asked, like, do you feel like you turned a blind eye?

And I feel like she did.

In the trailer, I think she says yes, but it could have been yes to a different question.

But

yeah, so I feel like there is a lot in the interview that will provide even like more color and context to the situation.

But I didn't have time to finish it this this morning and I went to bed early last night because yeah our girl was tired.

The um

a lot of people were speculating that it wasn't gonna be Ariana who was the guest because Alex had kind of like teased Vaner Pump and a lot of people thought it was maybe gonna be Schwartz or Sandoval or Raquel.

Now I don't I think her audience like would have been they're like very like female empowerment audience.

I don't think they would have appreciated like her giving a platform to the other women.

But having said that like We have not heard from Raquel.

I know she's in a facility and she's taking care of her mental health, which which is of most importance.

But at some point, I do believe she'll speak.

What do you think she's going to do?

I don't know, but that will be an interesting interview.

Honestly, like, I'm glad Ariana got on it because all these amazing things are happening for Ariana.

But when people had been speculating that it was Raquel, like, I was actually a little bit more excited because we've heard from Ariana.

And at this point, we know everything.

Yeah, and just like more interested.

Like, there's going to be.

I would love to hear from Schwartz.

Schwartz, I thought, oh, I guess he went on Watch What Happens Live.

He's just like chaos.

But also, Watch What Happens Live is like rapid fire questions.

It's not like long.

Sit down and talk about your feelings.

Yes.

Yeah, but I don't know in what format we're going to hear from Ruckeler.

Maybe we won't and we'll just see her on the next season.

I don't know either.

Would you have her on the toast?

100%.

Okay, so maybe it's Ashley Jacobs.

Like, we could do anything.

So true.

Let's manifest it.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

That's like, that is the next thing I'm looking forward to.

I feel like at this point, we've kind of exhausted

and the reunions.

Right, with with the reunions, Watch Rapids Live, everyone having their own podcast.

We've kind of exhausted this side.

I kind of want to hear the other side.

Not that I think it's going to change my mind or anything, but that's interesting.

Yeah.

I feel like she could also go and call her daddy.

Yeah.

I don't know if Alex would do that.

Alex has like, for a while, there was kind of like having like the villains.

Villains.

Jamie Lynn.

Christine, even though to me she was never the villain of that channel.

Right, right, right.

Me neither.

Yeah, I like that.

Like, I think those conversations are more interesting.

Yeah, though this, I I think, is very interesting.

And it is two hours.

And usually the episodes are not that long.

So I'm sure there's so much meat.

Right.

And I think the reason why it is so long is the whole thing of like giving context, which I actually think is smart, although it's not for me.

Like giving background.

Yes.

Even like, I think it's necessary for a lot of people.

Yeah.

So I'm going to continue watching and I look forward to learning more.

Yeah.

You also see this Ariana like so-fi thing.

No.

So there were like paparazzi pictures of Ariana finally moving out And she posted on her story, like finally moving out with boxes and stuff.

And then it turned out that she's like not moving out.

It was like part of a brand partnership for SoFi, like financial planning app.

Okay, because I saw a headline.

Tom Sandoval leaves the country and Ariana pretends to move out.

And I was like, what?

She, it was pretending.

But like, I like, get that coin.

Oh, for sure.

She's going to do no wrong.

She can do no wrong.

But, like, also, could you move out?

Maybe they could financially plan you out of your house.

Right.

Or like we said last week, Airbnb, somebody, VRBO, some company, like give Ariana a house for a couple months till she can like get her shit together and move out.

Yeah.

Maybe she doesn't want to move out of her house.

Like, you ruined my life.

I'm also moving out of my house.

So she should change the locks while he's gone.

She should.

She should.

I hope they talk about that.

Yeah.

And I think they will talk about that because they were already talking about how like it's weird that they had to go home together that night.

Right, right.

And the fact that like Tom Sandoval

was saying to Sheena, like, we bought a house as a band-aid.

And Ariana was like, well, that was news to me.

I thought we bought a house to enhance

to like further our relationship, our connection.

Yeah.

So yeah.

So that's.

What's the other podcasting news?

The other podcasting news is our next story.

Oh, okay.

And it's another headline from the Jonas Brothers on Armchair Expert.

Yes.

Because I didn't realize all three brothers went on together

because I don't listen to the podcast.

But honestly, like clickbaiting, I'm feeling influenced.

And I'm loving listening to podcasts while I'm getting ready.

I know.

It's so much better than listening to music.

No, especially if you're watching.

It's not so much better.

If you're watching.

It's not so much better, but it's also a nice experience.

Yes.

But anyway, so Joe Jonas said he was so jealous when Nick got the voice gig instead of him that he cried his eyes out.

Joe Jonas revealed.

Listening to Landslide.

Joe Jonas revealed he cried out of jealousy after finding out his younger brother, Nick Jonas, was going to be a judge on the voice.

During this episode of The Armchair Expert with Zach Shepard, he explained that he found out the news while watching Fleetwood Mac play Landslide at MSG in March 2019.

Oh, that's hella emotional.

It was the most picturesque setting.

I was so jealous, I cried my eyes out to Landslide.

The singer said, it was bittersweet, of course, because I'm super happy for him, but I'm also bummed because I want that fucking gig.

Joe had served as a coach on the Australian voice for one season in 2018, which had brother Kevin chiming in that he was more qualified than Nick to do the job.

He said, I just enjoyed the job.

So I was like, what the fuck?

But Nick crushed it.

And you know, it was great.

Nick went on to work as a voice coach on seasons 18 and 20 of the singing competition before being replaced by Ari.

This is like so awkward.

So awkward.

Like to even speak it.

Like, I feel like if that's like we were both up for a job and you got it and i was like devastated never once in my life would i admit that i was devastated i'd just be like and i really i would be happy but like i would be feeling both i'd be like no it was meant to be like jackie was amazing at it but is it not healthier to admit it if you really felt that way like it would be weird if you were actually devastated and you didn't voice that no it is but like it's weird yeah

i guess it's just so weird it's weird to be in like such competition like with your target you know what i mean like i because i really can't imagine a situation like i could imagine a situation where you get to do something that like i think is so but i really can't ever like imagine crying that it wasn't me i know

i know you're different it's obviously different yeah no like this feels so strange to me especially because i'm actually shocked that nick got the job over joe i feel like in terms of like technicality and like being able to help musicians like yes maybe nick is better suited but in terms of personality and also just like i don't know i really feel like joe is the lead singer of the band you know i feel like that's actually been kind of finalized in the last few years.

You disagree?

I disagree.

You think Joe, Nick is.

I think it's still like 50-50, but I think the fact that Nick did like solo work and was really successful.

I mean, like, Joe was still just like in a band again.

Like, I feel like Nick is more qualified for the job.

By the way, I'm not disagreeing.

I think qualified, yes.

And a better choice.

Like, overall, like, I do.

But I would have thought if the two were up for something, like, Joe would have gotten it.

To me, like, Joe is the more famous one.

Joe is the more charismatic personality one.

Nick is like, and I feel like that's almost been like an intentional thing that he's done over the last few years is become much more like

the leader of the music, not the leader of the band.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, but I don't know.

I feel like if Joe had been a judge on the voice, it wouldn't have been as strong a choice.

Oh, that's so funny.

I disagree.

Then Nick.

But maybe that just goes back to me at my core.

I will always be a Joe girl.

Like, since I loved the Jonas Brothers in middle school, like, I was always a Joe girl.

So maybe I see that.

I see them through the lens.

I do Joe.

And I see them through the lens of Nick.

Like, I was a Nick girl.

Interesting.

And maybe I just can't even see them.

Right.

No, we're definitely biased, even though I think in recent years, I'm definitely a Kevin girl.

I think the whole world's Kevin girls.

I think part of growing up is like realizing like it's not Nick versus Joe.

Like it's just Kevin.

It's always been Kevin.

And it always will be Kevin.

And the other two can fight it out for the voice share, but like Kevin's coming home for dinner.

Right.

No, Kevin is like the part-time rock star, part-time, you know, New Jersey suburb dad.

And like we just, we have quite literally no choice but to stand.

And I don't want a choice.

No, because I like no choice.

There is no choice.

I like this one choice.

I like it a lot.

Like a lookalike.

Because I like it.

I like it.

Agreed.

So that does sound like an interesting interview that all three of them were on.

Sounds like a lot of people in the room because there's two hosts and three guests.

But

this is good.

I'd like to see the Jonas brothers like we've never seen them before.

Growing up, being vulnerable.

Talking about like there are just like a lot of elements of their work life that are weird and awkward.

Obviously, the breakup.

And when they talk about it, like they talked about it in their documentary, which was like really honest.

I think that really endeared people to them even more beyond just like liking their music.

And things like this, I think, are really good for them because

sibling competition, like that's relatable.

Everybody has like most people have siblings.

And I think there's a lot of really interesting, just like human elements to their work.

And like owning like the jealousy could never be me, but it's so brave.

Yeah.

But it's crazy that they're able to still work.

Like, I know it broke them up once,

but it feels like they're really heightened levels of jealousy.

Like, I don't know what,

like, I feel like they have people and plans in place for when like things go, you know, and like their teams like have to communicate.

Like, oh, you can't put them up for, like, it's a very delicate dance, and it's working right now.

Yeah, but you want to know why?

I think.

I think, like, when they broke up the first time, like, they were so famous.

They thought they would just be fine forever.

Even if they weren't in a band, they were still so famous.

And like things got good for Nick for a little bit.

And

it just, it wasn't gangbusters.

Everyone is making fun of me because I've been using that word all week.

But I think they thought they were at a level of fame.

Like, whether they were in the band or not, like, they would still always be okay, money, fame, success-wise.

And after a few years, like, it wasn't like that.

Like, they all kind of faded.

And so I think they realized, okay, we can either not be in the band at all and live this kind of like, not lesser, but less successful life, or we put up with these dynamics.

We know that it's a part of it and we work through it, but we'll have we'll be the band and we'll be this level.

And they're back to the level, they're so famous now.

And I think they just know that they have to deal with these weird things, yeah.

Or it's back to you know the sad days, yeah,

good for them.

Yeah, I feel like there's just like a level of acknowledgement now, like we're dealing with this,

and I think that's healthy.

I think so too, but it's weird.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah, speaking of

competition show judges, Katy Perry wants to quit American Idol after being shown as the nasty judge, a report says per the Daily Mail.

So Katy Perry reportedly wants to step down as a judge on American Idol because she feels misrepresented by the show.

Per the Daily Mail, the pop star believes she has been repeatedly, quote, thrown under the bus by producers who she feels have edited the show to make her appear to be the nasty judge.

The singer, who has been part of the show for the last six seasons, has been criticized multiple times in the last few months for comments she has made to contestants.

We've even reported on some of them, like the mom shaming, you know, that she laid on the table too much.

Um,

you're wearing too much glitter.

You were, I think, someone's outfit choice.

You had a glitter bomb on the stage.

And so, I think she feels like they're manufacturing it because there is, should always be a Simon Cowell.

And they're kind of shoe-warning her into that position.

But I do want to say, though, I want to say one thing: that, like,

the last couple of months of the episodes are live.

So there's no real editing at play here.

but I can definitely see what she's saying

in terms of like the audition episodes and like the Hollywood week.

Those are all edited.

So there's definitely an element of that.

Having said that, I don't know if, you know, what Katy Perry's financial situation is, but like she is making $25 million a year to be on the show.

So like if they're making you look like a little harsh, like, okay.

Yeah, I agree.

There's also, you know, some people are

sources saying that she's not phased by the backlash and this has been a roller coaster season with a lot of great talent.

She's just doing her job.

So who knows?

But I do feel like in looking at the news, entertainment news every day, like there is this narrative that Katie said this on the show.

But I oh

I don't think there's really anything wrong with that.

No, me neither.

But every time I saw those stories, I was like, oh, that's weird that she said that mean thing.

Why wouldn't producers take that out?

It's like literally so fucking easy.

Right.

And it was clearly like a

misspeaking situation.

She's not like a person with ill will.

Yeah.

Towards like contestants.

Right.

So they just kind of like hung her out to die.

And like the show isn't about like exposing exposing the judges.

No, it's like a family-friendly.

It's a nice show.

Right.

So I feel like maybe they are making her be this like harsher judge, but I do think that's fine.

I do think it's strong when like there's three really different personalities and one person's gonna say hard truths.

Now the two things that we just cited like aren't hard truths.

They're hard truths.

They're just like.

I mean the mom thing I genuinely think like that was just her misspeaking.

It was like a joke a bad joke fell flat.

Like I don't think that's really bad.

And the other thing, like that's her attempt at giving critique.

Like you're critiquing someone's performance and part of a performance is what what you wear and how you do your hair and the lights like these are all things that factor into performance she's a person who has extensive experience performing and i like hate when when the people who are supposed to be judges that's like a new like new very modern progressive like we're not going to critique people like some of the shit simon cowell used to say judge right some of the shit simon cowell used to say like of course would never fly um you know i actually just saw a clip of like a compilation of like mean things he said he's like i just heard a cat die like you know you would never say that but i will say that's why a lot of people tuned in.

40 million.

Right.

That is, you know,

you're supposed to be critiquing.

And now it's just like, oh, you need some work.

Come back next year.

How about just you stink?

Like, that's what the job is.

So I don't think there's really anything wrong with that.

And the two examples we cited, one, I think, was genuinely like a mistake taken out of context, fell flat.

And the other, like, maybe you should stop wearing glitter.

And it's like if Katie Perry's saying you're wearing too much glitter, maybe you need to look in the mirror.

Right.

Like she wants you to be like, you know, versatile.

Yeah.

When you've watched the audition process, what are the like

vibes of the three judges?

When I watch the audition process, for Katie, like I never really thought she was like villain, Simon, like hard truths.

I always feel like she acts so weird around the young guys.

Like I like.

That has been from last season to this season, she's always like being so weird when there's like a young, good-looking guy.

She's like, oh, well, aren't you?

Like, fucking creepy.

That was my takeaway.

So

that's that.

Luke to me is like Snooze Fest 2.0.

Like everything is great.

He's very much like

puppy energy.

You know, he's not going to tell you you're bad.

He's just going to say, you know, come back next year.

Okay.

Work on your pitch.

You know, he's not going to.

And then Lionel is this like wise, old, well-respected grandpa.

And is he nice?

Yes.

Okay.

But he,

if he needs to critique, he will.

Got it.

Well, it sounds like none of them are really making that much of an an impact.

It's not like a Randy, a Paula, and assignment.

Even though I can't even recall what Paula's disposition was and Randy's, like, I feel like they were kind of similar.

It was really just like the Simon.

Yeah, I think Randy would

say stuff if needed, but Paula was just like, Paula.

Yeah.

But I feel like the show is doing really well with the judges they have.

Now, I don't think, I don't, I hope Katie, I hope this isn't real and her feelings aren't actually hurt.

Right.

$25 million a year.

Right.

Like, it'll be crying.

Crying to your money.

Obviously, like, say, meaner stuff.

Yeah, right.

$25 million.

Okay.

I'll tell everyone they're ugly.

I'll tell everybody they're ugly.

Like, we need a Simon.

I know.

And I feel like if any, if there's truth to any of this, I think she should lean into it more.

Lean into the Simon.

There is something to be said about the success of the voice, where they never had any sort of...

you know, dynamic between the judges.

All the judges were just really sweet and funny.

And the show really played off of the dynamic between the judges, judges.

It's like friends and friendly competitions.

So there's something to be said about maybe those shows don't need that.

For sure, but American Idol is the is the OG.

They don't need to go and copy the voice now.

Like they built a format that really works.

It's the blueprint.

And I think Simon, the Simon, and there being a Simon is

key.

Yeah, no, I don't disagree.

So I think they should lean in more, but not into comments about laying on the table.

Yeah, no.

Like, talk about the singing.

Right, being like, you sounded pitchy.

You need work.

Don't quit.

Not the right song for you.

You don't quit your day job.

Yeah.

Don't quit your daydream.

Well, that's the the opposite message but they should say that one someone

should say that to em

a hundred percent i love em do you know what em is short for

you can guess it it's like so obvious em miller no

um

maybe don't think of em as a prefix think of it as a suffix

yes is that crazy garachus i never heard em as a nickname for william that's so cute so his name is william yeah oh my god not that i would know that like in my limited I watched one video, but I'm glad I do.

Yeah,

thanks for that, Claudia.

You're welcome.

Are you ready for our next story?

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Our next story, we're just segueing with major segues, is some more American Idol news.

Because American Idol 2020 winner, Just Sam, says she's back to singing in New York City subways.

She says, quote, I was super embarrassed.

But last month, the musician began sharing videos of herself singing in subway stations on Instagram and recently opened up about her journey since winning the hit competition series, noting that she was, quote, super embarrassed to let fans know that she's back to busking.

So she posted a clip of herself singing Ari's Almost Is Never Enough.

I don't know why I can't say Ari Ana Grande when I can just say Ari.

And she explained her situation in a since deleted caption, but she said, quote, back in 2021, I was super embarrassed to be going back to the trains.

I didn't want people to know that I legit needed the money, and I didn't want people to know that it wasn't optional.

I was disappointed in myself for allowing myself to fall so low after winning Idol.

But then I had to take it easy on me and remember that I started my Idol, my journey with Idol at 20 years old, not even knowing anything about Hollywood or the music industry.

She added, since then, I have learned so much and I've been able to take my experiences and share them with other artists in hopes that they don't experience the same things.

things that I did when it comes to making it in this life.

She reportedly noted that her season of Idol occurred in the middle of of COVID and left her in a state of

uncertainty about the future, but that she was ready and waiting for whatever it was.

Quote, everyone wants to know what happened and why this or why that, and I will answer those questions someday, but in the meantime, I'll say this.

I never expected to win, but I did.

I was so grateful, and I know that people are feeling like I let them down.

She admitted that she used to feel like, quote, I let myself and everyone down too, but holds faith that there's more coming for her.

I know that everything happens for a reason.

I know that this too shall pass no matter what things may look like right now.

She added that her grandmother, who knows absolutely nothing about the music industry, is her main guidance and support system.

All she knows is how to listen and call out a good singer when she hears one.

We didn't know what to do with the win, especially being that we had absolutely no help.

There are people who have had more success than me and good for them.

I'm happy for them.

But I am not them.

I don't like my situation, but it won't be like this forever.

So she had previously opened up via Instagram stories about how she ended up broke after parting ways with Hollywood Records after the show.

She said, I'm making music.

I just cannot afford to release music because mixing and mastering music costs a lot of money.

And I invested in myself and ended up broke.

That's the truth.

Not broke, broke, like I'm living.

I have my own place.

She revealed that she left the label that signed her after she won American Idol before releasing an album and owed money to the company.

She said, I'm not even going to tell you guys the amount of money that I had to pay after leaving the label to claim songs that I had already recorded.

Yeah, no, record labels are like actual prisons.

Especially when you sign a contract from winning a

right, you're so vulnerable.

You know nothing.

you i think like

american idol has a like a deal with a certain record label so you don't have options you're not going to go take the best offer no and it's not like the language in the contract is going to be so generous beneficial yeah that's with every competition show like they have all these things that you win at the end but they are extremely constricting yeah and so i guess that she had disagreements with her record label and like decided to go out on her own which to break a contract is very expensive and if you don't have all those contacts and know-how of the music industry you kind of could be stranded yeah and so up until this point like it it hasn't worked out yet but i like that she holds faith that it will and i think a lot of people this story broke like today um in like the news even though she had posted it on instagram um i think a lot of people are are really

wanting to support yeah and feeling really in her corner so I hope that this garners her some more momentum.

And also like winning a season of American Idol, I don't know how much, you know, momentum that gives you,

but also in the middle of COVID, like a virtual,

I remember, I actually watched it, a virtual like finale.

It's just not

giving what it needs to give.

No, it's not giving Kelly Clarkson 40 million views.

Right, right.

So I think there's a lot of things that were working against her, but I think in terms of the financial situation, having to breach your contract and pay back whatever your advance was and then maybe, and then some because of you're breaching a contract is going to is gonna fuck you financially.

Yeah.

But that's really sad.

I also, I just don't know

how much success, like this thing with Iam Tongi right now is so unprecedented.

American Idol, nobody has cared about the winner of American Idol this much like since Kylie Clarkson.

Like, it's not, it's unprecedented for like the last five years.

You know what I mean?

Since the show has come back.

Since the show has come back.

Agreed.

So I don't know if this would have happened regardless.

Like, I don't think this will happen to IM Tongi because

the virality, like people care.

Like I said, they were talking about him on Joe Rogan.

It's kind of a big deal.

But in seasons past, I don't know that the winner of Gabby Barrett's season, like, I could not tell you where that person is.

So I don't know if this is an American Idol thing, if it's a Sam thing, you know?

I think it's all of the things.

Like, I think it could be said for American Idol and the voice.

I don't know what happens over at America's Got Talent, but like all these shows, they have, it's really exciting when you're on it.

They have really big prize money and stuff.

And so it's worth winning, but it doesn't necessarily set you up for a career.

No.

And I feel like they've actually kind of given up on it, even pretending to.

Yeah, you know.

So it's like you can get some really great things out of it, make connections.

It's, it's a step.

It's not as many, it's not a whole ass staircase like it used to be.

Yeah, no, it's exactly.

So then also I think breaking with your record label, and I'm sure she had very legitimate reasons, but that is

like

you're starting from then you're taking, you're starting from square one again.

It's expensive.

So I think it's a combination.

And then also being on probably the lowest rated season.

COVID.

COVID.

Right.

Yeah, it's all the elements working against.

But it's just, it's interesting to see where these shows, which used to hold so much power, where they net out.

Because every now and then, like now, we have a Gabby Barrett.

Or we have someone from The Voice, I feel like, recently.

I mean, Morgan Wallen was on The Voice.

Yeah.

Although he really does not attribute any of his success to the voice.

No, I don't think any of his success is because of The Voice.

I think it's a coincidence.

I think, and maybe he even feels the opposite.

Like it's, you know, know, a stain.

Like it worked against him.

Yeah.

It's just interesting because like we grew up where like, if you even made it to the top four, Jennifer Hudson didn't even win.

She's an Oscar.

Catherine McPhee.

Catherine McPhee.

Daughtry.

Daughtery.

Lauren Elena.

She didn't even win.

Number two.

Scotty McCreary did.

And I would say she's more famous than Scotty McCreary.

Tons of circles you run in.

Yeah, but it's just, it's interesting because it used to be this like golden platform where if you got to a certain point, like you were okay.

You didn't even have to win.

And now it's like you could win and nobody gives a fuck.

Yeah, no, it's like if you're in the subway and you hear someone singing amazing, you're like, you're so good.

You should go on American Idol.

But that doesn't mean your life is going to change.

You could go on American Idol, win it, and still be back where you started.

Exactly.

It's weird.

Yeah.

I guess like social media is the new American Idol.

Yeah, no, it's not.

And that's why it's like, it's not like I expect anyone who wins American Idol to really become

the idol of America.

But there's perks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's prize money, right?

I don't know.

Or it's just a record deal.

I don't think there is.

I think on America's Got Talent, there's like a million dollar prize.

I don't think on American Idol and the Voice do you actually win money.

You win, like,

you just win.

Got it.

Or you, like, win a contract that's worth so much.

Right.

That was like America's Next Top Model.

Right, right.

You win $100,000 contract with

CoverGirl.

Yeah, right, right, right.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I really am.

It's some good news for the grads.

For the congrats?

Congrats, grads, because now you can get a free Krispy Krem donut this week.

Worth it.

You're in debt, but you get a donut.

High school and college grads, who we are congratulating, can head to Krispy Kreme for a dozen free original glazed donuts.

Oh, August 24th.

You know what?

I'm graduating this week.

I think I need a donut.

A dozen free donuts?

A dozen.

Let me tell you why I love Krispy Kreme.

I just want to say, I love Krispy Kreme.

Best donut on earth.

Don't even try to make one.

Right.

But they will look for any excuse to get a free donut.

Yeah, you got your vaccine.

Come get a donut.

They literally, and you know what?

We're always talking about them.

It's always working.

Yeah.

Oh, but that's just, yeah, that's, I think that's an us thing.

Yeah.

No, the reason why we kind of, let's just be like really transparent because we're so authentic.

The reason why if there's like even the smallest news story about Krispy Kreme, the reason why we'll always talk about it.

Is because we're fat.

Yeah.

Well, duh.

Thus leading me to my explanation, which is more often than not, the Krispy Kreme PR team reaches out and it's like, let us send some donuts to the studio.

I'm the one who chooses the stories, and that's not why I do it, but like now I'm like, I just think it's like, oh, people who are watching this, if you graduated this week, like, go get your ass and no, actually, I did meet and greet yesterday, and there were so many girlies who had just graduated.

Girlies, run to Krispy Kreme.

Yeah.

I fucking love Krispy Kreme.

No, it's so good.

It's so good.

It's so uncomplicated.

You know, it's just a simple dessert.

But you have to be decked out in class of 2023 a power.

Oh, that's humiliating.

To score a dozen original glazed donuts from the bakery chain.

No purchase necessary.

We need to make 2023 merch.

So everyone can get a chance to get a chance to get it.

I think I still have like my robing gown somewhere.

But I think it needs to say

2023, whether it be a school t-shirt or a full graduation cap and gown, students dressed in their academic garb can earn their baked goods in a special Dopploma, Dopploma,

wrapped up.

You know, they paid like a creative agency $600,000 to come up with DoPloma.

You know what?

It's pretty good.

No, we could come up with something better.

No, we couldn't.

We couldn't.

No, we couldn't.

We couldn't.

Okay, so not me running home to my childhood bedroom to look for my cap and gown.

Or do you know a grad?

I just like want a donut.

This conversation's making me like insatiably hungry.

Okay, well, it's good that that's our fifth story because we're closer to lunch.

We are closer to lunch.

And if you graduated this week, congrats.

Right.

Congrats, grads.

You know, I feel like graduating college like is, it is an accomplishment, but it's kind of like a terrible time in your life because like you're really entering the real world and all the responsibilities that come along with it.

You're moving out of like your comfortable dorm or sorority house and you're moving into the real world and

donuts help.

So that's really thoughtful.

Yeah, it is really thoughtful.

Like post-grad is like, I think the time that a lot of people romanticize, but it's really like a terrible time.

It doesn't have to be, but I feel like it definitely can be.

There are some things.

So more often than not, it's like not what you expect.

Things in place in college that make you feel like an adult, but they're actually like propping you up completely.

And then you come out into the real world and it's just like, what do I eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

You know, so I.

How do I pay for this breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

Right.

I could understand, like, it's not all it's cracked up to be, but it's also a time of real, like growth, growth and actual adulthood.

Opportunity.

And, you know, you don't have to go to classes.

You don't have to write papers.

Like, there's growth now.

No, like, the day, the day I left, like the last homework assignment I ever did, like was a moment I will never forget.

Like, I'm not one of those people who seeks higher education.

Like, I quite literally hated writing papers.

Like, any form of homework, it's not, was not my strong suit.

That was exciting for me.

But some people were like really successful at stuff like that.

And then they get to the real world and they don't have to be able to do that.

And then those talents don't apply.

Because they don't fucking mean anything.

Yeah.

Great.

You can write a paper.

Go sit at your desk and grunge some numbers.

Like it really,

so much of what you are trained to be good at in college ends up really providing no value in the real world.

Unless you're a writer or unless you're a.

But even so, even if you're a writer, like right when you graduate, you're not getting like the big job writing.

You're getting coffee.

But you know how to write because of the writing courses.

Yeah.

Like, it's just,

it's, it's depend person to person.

But by the time I graduated college, like, I was ready to go and I was excited for what the future had in store for me.

But I'm also a girlie who likes change.

Yes.

Yes.

You know?

You are.

All right.

So those were the past five.

And how would you categorize them?

Amazing.

Honestly, like.

Productive conversations were had.

Solving the crisis of American Idol.

Katy Perry Should Be Meaner.

End of story.

End of story.

So the show is not over.

The show is not over.

I know you thought it was.

You're sitting here.

Oh, no.

What am I going to do?

It's not over.

Thank God.

Thank God.

Because it's Wednesday.

So that means our advice segment, which is called Dear Toasters, we do every Wednesday.

If you want to write in, it's deartoasters at gmail.com.

We will, of course, keep your name and identity completely anonymous.

But if you're having any trouble at work, wedding planning, girlfriends, dating, we're going to do our best to help you.

And if we have done our best to help you in the past and you took our advice or didn't take our advice, but there was like an update, please don't leave your girls hanging.

Like let us know.

We actually have an update today, which I teased previously, and I'm really excited about it.

So I'm going to go in with our first submission.

Hey, Jackson Tourney.

My best friend tried to get me to listen to you for at least a year before I actually did.

Shout out to the stubborn girlies, but now I can't get enough.

Here's my dilemma.

I don't really need direct advice, but I'm looking for more opinions.

I've always had a really large chest and I've recently started the process of a breast reduction.

I had a surgeon consultation.

I went to physical therapy so I could get covered by insurance.

I've also in recent years gained weight, which has obviously not helped my large chest situation.

I'm really nervous that getting a breast reduction will somehow make my weight gain more apparent because I won't be able to hide behind my 38 Gs.

What do you think?

Oh, interesting.

There is definitely like a push and pull, a dynamic between weight and breasts and breasts.

And for me,

I always felt that my breasts made me look bigger, but I don't know what I would have looked like with small breasts.

Like maybe I just would have looked bigger.

Yeah, I do think that breasts can often make you look bigger than you are.

I think sometimes people think like proportion, like if this is big, then that makes that look small.

But it just depends on your body shape, like your size.

There's so many factors at play.

And so I wouldn't get a breast reduction with the idea of looking skinnier.

Like that, because it could go either way.

And that's not really the point.

Yeah.

So

I'm very supportive and understanding of a breast reduction.

Like literally so excited for

like send your doctor's info.

Um,

but it has to be like the right time and for the right reasons.

And also, like, a lot of times when you gain weight, you gain weight in your boobs, they get bigger, and then you lose weight and they get smaller.

So, if you really are want to work on like your whole self, like maybe losing weight would solve the problem of your big breasts, and then also you wouldn't have this fear that they might, it might like throw your shape off.

Right, or it might grow back.

Like, some people just inherently have big breasts.

Like, I was having this conversation at brunch or maybe after brunch this weekend, which is like my pant size and and my dress size has changed so drastically.

I've actually bought bigger bras.

My breast size has not changed in the slightest.

So I thought maybe my boobs were always so big, like my whole life, because I've always been chubby and overweight.

But actually, I, and I could have guessed that because everyone in our family has huge tits.

We are just a big-breasted family.

So some people are inherently like just gifted with big breasts or cursed, depending on how you look at it.

Some people are just born with big breasts and some people have big breasts because of weight gain.

So I think it's important to understand like you might get a breast reduction, but if if your boobs were boobs because of weight gain and you then gain more weight, your boobs like we're back.

Yeah.

Like it's so important to know your body and like your boobs and like for me.

Why do you have big boobs?

Are you born with them?

I know every time I gain weight, my boobs get bigger.

And when I like I've gained in weight, lost weight over the years many times.

And when I lose weight, my boobs don't get smaller.

So they're as big, like they just keep getting bigger, but they don't get smaller.

And it's like, it's.

really fucking annoying.

Yeah.

But me, and if that's the case for you, then get a breast reduction regardless because they're staying big.

Right.

Down is down.

But if it's overall, like you've gained weight and you want your breasts to be smaller, but then you still are going to have like insecurity issues in other areas of your body, like maybe try losing weight first and see if that helps.

Changes your boobs.

Yeah.

Or like, are you getting the breast reduction because you're having back problems, like the normal things?

Then it's worth pursuing.

I don't know.

I find I, when I've thought about a breast reduction, but I...

plan on, I'm getting one.

It's on my list of things to do, but I plan on waiting.

I don't know if I ever really factored in my weight.

And I don't think I ever thought about it because my boobs just bothered me so much.

And like now that you've lost weight, like wouldn't you like

now it wouldn't have made sense for you to get a breast reduction like

before this time?

Why?

Because wouldn't you want them to like suit how you are now?

Like what?

No, I think I would have asked for the same size no matter what, no matter what size I am.

I agree with that.

Like I have an ideal breast size and no matter how much I weigh, that doesn't change.

Yeah.

I would just say you can always get a breast reduction.

Like you could, like, that can always be a solution.

I would try some other things first to see if that makes you happier with your overall look.

Because if it doesn't, you could always just get a breast reduction.

Right.

But you can't undo it.

Unless you're having like a lot of other problems because of the breasts.

Like, and they're bothering you so much.

Like, if you're just getting them

for

smaller,

as opposed to like having back problems or everyone talks about these back problems, but I have had big tits forever and I don't have.

Well, just consider yourself extremely lucky.

You don't have it either.

I have terrible back problems.

But PT said it wasn't from your boobs.

I know.

Frank said.

I'm not buying that.

Like, I'm really not.

I'm genuinely not.

But

most people who have big breasts on small frames or like frames that really can't like sustain it suffer immensely, like on a daily basis.

Did she say that?

No, but she didn't bring it up.

So I'm just wondering if that was the reason for the breast reduction.

I don't think it is.

Okay.

I'm just wondering what the reason was.

I'm just saying, you could always go and get a breast reduction.

So don't make it be your first choice.

But I fully support when and if you do.

I always support

it.

The concept.

I can't wait for you of a breast reduction.

All right, we have one more submission and then we have our update, which are both brought to you by Top Golf.

It's golf.

It's not golf, Jax.

What is it?

It's Top Golf.

Very good.

Very good.

And they have half-price Tuesdays at Top Golf that I feel like more people need to be talking about.

So at Top Golf, they, of course, have the things that make it golf.

They've got the clubs, balls,

teas, whatever, all that stuff.

But they also have a bunch of stuff that's not golf related, like great music, huge targets in the fairway, delicious food, a handcrafted food and beverage menu.

And they even have a whole day each week dedicated to more play for less pay.

So they do this thing on Tuesday where all game is half price, giving players even more reason to come play around.

So we visited Top Golf in Nashville.

Very recently without you, Jax, but also a year before that with you.

And we had a great time both times.

The first time we we went, it was a girls trip and I don't think any of us expected to have as much fun as we did, but we had such great food, great cocktails.

We also really like got into the golf, which was shocking, but we had the best time.

What else was shocking?

That you won.

I loved that.

I don't know why, like, every time we do a read, like, you have to raise it.

I just feel like they wanted us to talk about our experience there.

And that's your main to the experience that I won.

But our experience

in Nashville, like a month ago, when we all came with our husbands, was so much fun.

Like, it got even more competitive, and the boys loved it.

It was a perfect thing for like a couple's night out, but it really was just as fun just us girls um mostly because the food is so good um half price tuesday applies to gameplay only it's not offered at every venue but it can be doubled up with offers or discounts um it's really just a great way to spend your night if you have a top golf in your area or if you're planning a trip where there is a top golf

check it out it's really fun it's golf it's not golf It's top golf.

Thank you, Jaggie.

Okay, our next submission.

Hey, Jackson Turdy.

Nope, that's the one we just did.

Sorry.

Hey, Jackson Turd.

I'm getting married in a few weeks and I'm having a big issue with my mother-in-law.

She is adamant about wanting to walk my fiancé down the aisle, kind of like the father walks the daughter.

I've consistently told her no, as my fiancé should have his own woman coming down and she can be walked down the aisle by her husband, who is also the best man, but she is constantly going behind my back to my fiancé to try and get her way.

Am I being an Aggie bitch wife or is this annoying?

Well, we come at this from a very unique perspective because in Jewish weddings, the parents, both mother and father, walk down both the groom and the bride.

So, to me, there's nothing out of the ordinary for this, but I think in traditional weddings, taking that out of it, like you're not even going to see your husband walk down the aisle and with his mom, without his mom.

I would, like, I'm a pick your battle sort of girl, and this is just not one worth waging.

Like, if she wants, if you, it's up to your husband.

Like, well, that was my question.

If he doesn't want his mom to walk him down, then that's up for him to say, and you're out of it.

And if he doesn't mind and it would make his mom really happy, you're literally not even going to see it.

Who cares?

Yeah, no, my question was, how does your husband, fiancé, feel?

If he's down,

why do you care?

If he's not down, then like he should stand up for himself.

Yeah.

But this is like one of those wedding decisions that quite literally has nothing to do with you.

And in the end, like, I don't think you'll really care about it.

She won't even know she's in the back getting ready for a big walk.

It's possible.

Like, I'm just getting the vibe that you just like dislike your mother-in-law and like everything she does bothers you, which like that, I understand people who have that situation.

Like, it's very, I'm not discounting your feelings.

But that's why you wrote in for a perspective.

And I just want you to.

Yeah, like as a third party, like we have nothing to do with this.

Like, you do sound like a little, like, naggy bitch.

No, not, not

NBW, not NBF, Maggie Bitch fiancé, but just like you're getting too invested in decisions big and small, and, and some that have literally nothing to do with you.

Like, this is maybe like the one moment of the whole wedding that's not about you.

Enjoy that, and you'll be in the back with a glass of champagne, waiting for your turn.

Who cares what happens before you?

The mother's gonna forget the minute you walk in.

Like, and even if they remember that the mother walked the son down,

I don't think it's that crazy.

Like, honestly, if he wants to do it, like, obviously he has a good relationship with his mom.

Like, I don't know.

I have no problem with this.

I have no problem.

And just as like an outsider, it will take nothing away from you.

Like, it's not like her walking down.

It's going to be like, oh, taking all the, you know, spotlight away.

No one's even going to be looking at her because it's really not about her.

It's about her son.

So there's no downside to this.

And if you like die on this hill, which if you feel really strongly, then die on it.

But you're going to look a little.

Like a little bit like a bitch, like honestly.

No, it's just so not worth dying over.

And is that worth starting off the in-law relationship, like on this note?

No, it's like I've never really been so crystal clear on the deer toasters.

100%,

let it go.

It's your husband's choice.

Yeah.

And you know what?

It's so nice to not have to make a choice sometimes.

Yes.

This is his problem.

Oh, it's up to you, sweetie.

Yeah.

You talk to your mother about it.

You guys figure it out.

It's your moment.

Godspeed.

It's not about me.

No, I have to go.

How terrible for me?

I'm so busy with other important decisions that actually involve me.

And because I gave you this, by the way, I'm getting the flowers I want.

Right, right, right.

Yeah, no, like it's really not a big deal.

No.

All right, now we're long-awaited.

Let it go.

Let it go.

No.

Let her go.

Let her go.

I feel like at one point we used to try and come up with a song for each deer together.

Good wings, which is kind of like amazing.

Okay, wait, let's go back to the other one.

Oh, the other one was about the boobs.

She works hard for the boobies.

So hard for the boobies.

She works hard for the boobies, but she's gotta let them down.

That was good.

That is good.

That little riff I did was that kind of stunning.

Okay, ready for our big clickbait update?

It better be good.

Okay.

Hey, ladies.

No, by the way, it is good.

And I think there's a lesson to be learned.

Okay.

First off, I want to say thank you for the beautiful, stunning, and smart queens that you are, and you make my mornings fabulous.

Claudia, I loved your book.

Congrats.

Congrats.

I heard she wrote she was just upset there was no acknowledgements at the back of the book.

No, sorry.

I read the wrong thing.

That was her initial submission, but I'm just going to recap recap the whole thing for you.

Okay, okay, great.

So hey, Jackson Claude.

First off, I want to say thank you for the amount of joy that the toast brings me each and every day.

It's such a bright light in my life and has helped me make friends, keep in touch with loved ones, and always guarantees me an hour of joy no matter what.

So thank you.

Sending you both love.

Oh my God, what a great recap.

So I'm here with the update.

I was the 25-year-old virgin who wrote in two years ago.

Chelsea Handler helped give me advice and she told me just to lose it to someone and get it over with.

You two told me to wait for the right man.

Then in early 2022, I wrote in again about a guy who dumped me because he felt like taking my virginity was too much pressure.

I really thought I would never find the right guy, but you both helped me realize what a loser he was and reassured me that the right man would not care.

I decided to believe you and I trusted that.

I chose to stop putting so much pressure on it and to truly believe it would happen for me at the right time.

Sure enough, about a month later, the right guy came along.

He never batted an eye about me being a virgin and actually found it incredibly respectable.

He never pressured me and always took things at the pace I wanted.

Suffice to say, I'm no longer writing in as a virgin.

Truly, it was everything I could have asked for, writing in so other girlies who may be in the same boat don't lose hope.

There are men out there who aren't losers, don't give up or settle.

Best always, signed a no longer RDH virgin.

So what she's saying is Chelsea Handler's advice was not the right way to go, and ours was.

It's not the right course of action for her.

And it's a great lesson.

I like the moral of the story.

There are men out there who are not losers.

Who have like good values and will respect a girl who chooses abstinence for whatever reason be it religious or or otherwise yes i was so thrilled to hear that our girl is a getting railed which is just fabulous by

a respectable king you know

who respects her and her body who took it slow give a rail i don't i do give a rail right now i was thrilled to hear that i obviously like love to hear that she took our advice over chelsea's like what's better than that you know pitting women against each other and three i'm just so happy like you know the lesson here is like you know i think it can feel in this culture yeah like men are just the fucking worst and disgusting, and they are.

And for the most part, I also feel like, you know, like that all women have to have the same attitude towards sex.

And it's great to be liberated, but we're not all the same and we all feel differently about it.

So I can understand feeling pressure.

And I feel like I.

You just get rid of it.

Yeah.

Like, and I feel like I've been in that situation before where it's like, am I making this a bigger deal than it is?

Is it really a big deal?

I've like always thought it was a big deal.

Like, I'm questioning everything like you once thought.

And I think it's okay for all of us to feel differently about it.

Right.

And I think it's very empowering to have the other sort of opinion on virginity, which is like, yes, sex is freedom, whatever.

It's great.

I think it's great.

But I don't think it gets spoken about enough.

I think in culture, like, it's a perfect example, even though he ended up being a virgin who was gay.

But Colton, like, he was really mocked for being a virgin.

And, and I think on the bachelor, like, in culture, like, it's a thing that's mocked, but it is, it is ultimately a nice, respectable life.

It's a little bit better to not be.

To not care and whatever.

But there's something to be said about that life and that route.

And I think it's wonderful.

And this is a perfect example

of it working out and you protected something and then you found someone who respected that.

And I just think it's great.

I'm so happy for you.

And it's also a lesson that like there are good guys out there and they're very hard to find.

And so don't give up.

Be true to yourself.

Because she wrote into us in 2022.

It's a year.

No, Chelsea was on like it was COVID.

Oh, wait, wait.

I think she wrote the year.

Hold on.

She said two years ago.

I think your book had just come out.

That's why she was talking about it.

Yeah, you're right.

And then she wrote in again a year later.

So it's been a two-year saga, but she never gave up.

Beautiful.

I think that's fabulous.

A gorgeous lesson and a gorgeous way to end this Wednesday show.

Agreed.

I'm so excited to see you.

Do you have a song for her?

Oh,

like a virgin.

Touched it.

For the very first time.

Like a virgin

with your heartbeats next to mine.

I think it's nice.

Or, I got another one.

White houses.

That song's about losing your virginity.

So true.

In my heart.

But it's kind of about traumatizing.

It's not a good way to go.

Yeah.

Oh, I got another one.

It wasn't a good way to go.

I got another one.

I could do this all day.

Let's get it on.

I like your first one the best.

Okay.

Great for the situation.

There's not really a song about like losing virginity in a sacred way.

I guess it would be like a virgin.

Does Does Taylor have a song?

That's the big question.

Yep.

It comes back to who did Taylor lose her virginity to.

Right.

It's either living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts.

Give me back my girlhood.

It was mine first.

Or.

Would you keep my old scarf from that very first week?

Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me.

You can't get rid of it,

cause you remember it all too

well.

So, whichever song resonates with you, dear reader,

both are kind of like negative experiences, but yeah, no, so it's fun to sing.

So, still, Madonna, but it was fun to sing.

It was any excuse, and I got a solo.

So, tomorrow is our last episode of the week.

We'll be in studio, being girlish whirlwind whirlies, hopefully.

No promises, you know, we never know.

But if I'm feeling clickbaity, I'm thinking we're gonna be girlish whirlwirles.

I think so.

I think we we have some bombshell news to drop tomorrow that you can only catch here on the toast.

Oh, actually, we are gonna do something tomorrow.

Yeah, I know.

So, you actually should tune in.

Yeah, we are.

You should.

Yeah.

So, thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So, if you're watching this on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found.

So, it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Video, IHORBA, Cast Box, all the places where we listen to podcasts.

Find us the Toast Leaving Fife Star View about how beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are.

Hope you guys have an amazing day.

Happy Hump Day, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Love ya.

Bye.

Bye.