General Randomness: Friday, May 19th, 2023

Good morning, Millennium.

Oh my god, what's wrong?

I don't know.

Sorry, I fucked that up.

Should we start over?

No.

Okay, we're just so authentic.

We're so authentic, but what was that about?

Actually, the other day, this week, I found myself a kind of like flubbing GMM also.

I don't know.

I was like just gonna say good morning.

I literally, I don't know what came out of my mouth.

All's that to say, like, I'm not okay.

It's the end of the week, you know, I'm malfunctioning.

You're not on a high for every end of the week, the latter half?

Um, I am, obviously.

I was thrilled.

I was thrilled to wake up knowing, hearing the news that it's Friday.

But, you know, it's not Saturday.

Like, it's still like a day of work.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We have everything ahead of us.

Yeah.

You know, we've made the argument that Friday is even better than Saturday because there's still hope to look forward to.

No, that's true.

I don't know what was wrong with me.

Sorry.

Good morning, everyone.

Hey, Jax.

How you dern?

I'm dern good.

I feel like this week, for me at least, went by really quickly and was a really enjoyable, productive week.

That's fabulous.

It was a productive week, too.

I do feel like it went by really quickly.

Yeah.

And that's always good.

Tis.

It's like Ferris Bueller once said, life comes at you fast.

What's the end of that line?

Something about language.

You might miss it.

Yeah.

Classic Ferris.

Classic Ferris.

Not sure it's the quote for the day.

Oh, you don't think?

No.

Oh, you don't think it accurately represents what we're going to talk about here today?

No,

the sentiment that we're sharing, which is like, it was a good productive week.

But life comes at you fast, Jax.

I guess this week came at me fast.

That's what Ferris was trying to say.

Got it.

Thank you for speaking on behalf of Ferris.

That's what I do.

We've got a great show today.

We have our long-awaited Deer Toasters segment.

You know, the week just, you know, got away from us.

It was nice to see how much people were framing it and for people to miss Deer Toasters and to question, where is Deer Toasters?

And today is the perfect day for DT.

So far, it's quiet.

Stories are light.

It's Deer Toasters Day.

Agreed.

I've got some great submissions.

No updates this week because

nobody gave us any.

Because everyone's doing well.

Right.

And it's summer.

You know, we're approaching summer.

Summer.

Summer.

We're approaching summer.

Like, people are busy living, you know?

Everyone's doing well.

And no update is, as much as I love to hear how people are doing, I take it as a good sign.

Well, today's kind of like a crazy day for me.

Like almost a beginning of a new journey.

Which journey is that?

Let me tell you.

I...

Bring my laptop to work every day.

It is truly the bane of my existence.

It's so heavy.

I live pretty close to the studio, but I often take a cab just because I can't carry this laptop.

And I don't know why it took us so long to think of the idea to get a laptop for the studio that basically just like lives here.

And we got it yesterday and we set it up yesterday.

And today's my first day.

I walked to work lighter than air.

Oh my God, I might as well have been floating through the streets.

Like it was such a quite literal weight lifted off my back.

It's crazy that.

We never thought of it.

Yeah, I feel like we have thought of it.

For a while, I was the one who used to bring my computer, but I used to bring a medical air.

So it wasn't that that crazy.

So I'm just, if I look like lighter, that's why.

Okay, you do look light.

I feel this sort of like angelic, weightless presence.

I would say that you embody an angelic weightless presence.

Thank you, Jackie.

Thank you, Kevin.

That's enough.

Do you like my shirt?

I do, Luke Hombs merch.

You know where I got it?

Amazon?

Amazon.

I was watching this program, Amazon Live, with these two sisters who were really so wonderful.

They just, they really made you feel like you were a part of their family.

That's so sweet.

And I was influenced to buy this t-shirt, says Luke Homes.

Oh, also, speaking of sisters, I watched our episode of The Toast from yesterday when I got home.

I don't always do it, but I felt like yesterday's episode was worth rewatching.

Okay.

And my God, like, I did not shut the fuck up.

Like, I was on, I felt like I was on Adderall.

I just had like a lot to say.

And it had been like

about scandal, but it also had just been like a crazy busy day in general.

And I was late, so I felt like I had to like take a dump verbally.

And my God, I did not shut the fuck up like I'm so sorry that's okay I actually listened to the episode not watch I listened to the scandal portion because Zach was like what'd you guys have to say about it I was like Bonnie just listen what if you just put in your headphones and it's like overall I don't know what we had to say about it you know like what was we didn't have like a takeaway or like a hot take per se, but it was just content that needed to be broken down.

Broken down.

And highlighted.

Certain parts.

Certain parts.

He agreed with you about

the Sheena Sheena conversation was really powerful.

It was.

Yeah.

He was like nodding along.

He should go back and watch old episodes like when he has free time.

A Vanderpunk?

Yeah.

He's kept up through the years.

So when this happened, he knew exactly what was happening.

And weirdly, this season before the news dropped, he was watching this season every week already.

Like he had caught the first episode and was like, oh, this season's good.

And so we started watching it together.

And then when Scandival happened, we were already on the same page of enjoying the season.

And now we enjoyed.

That's fabulous.

it's bringing people together it is yeah it really is um so we've got a great show today stories are what are the stories tell me tell me a little bit about their background i would say they're of the friday variety we're you know closing the loop on a few stories some follow-ups to other things that we talked about throughout the week and then just some general randomness To me, those make for the best episodes.

Yeah, I agree completely.

Like, there's so much pressure when there's like a big story we got to break down.

But today's like a low pressure.

It's Friday.

Who cares what we're talking about?

And I think that feels great.

That feels right.

That definitely feels right.

Much like a Redheads rating.

Oh, I wanted to update everyone on a conversación.

We had a, maybe, you know, with me, was it two weeks ago?

It was two to three weeks ago or two to three months.

I feel like it was one week ago.

Or two to three years.

I really don't know.

What was it?

When we were talking about, you know, our teachers.

Last week.

Last week, I did reconnect with Ms.

Scheinbein.

I, She heard our cries.

She commented on our Instagram and we had a lengthy conversation.

I was sending her pictures of like like Harry.

She was like asking how the kids were.

She's like, Has Olivia.

I sent Michaela and Levi.

It was a really good catch up.

She has like a ton of kids.

She's still a teacher.

She lives in Israel.

Like it was great.

That's so great.

Yeah, closing the loop.

So that's a pro of the work that we do in discussing our teachers.

And it comes with the cons, the inevitable cons, about other teachers hearing things that you said about them that just make you want to die.

What the toast giveth, the toast taketh away.

Yeah, but you should share the positives.

Yeah, and you know what?

Outweigh the negatives.

We made a new toaster.

I guess she hadn't heard of the toast over in Israel.

It's fine.

I'm not offended, offended, Ms.

Scheinbein.

And she said she's been listening to it on her commute and she just loves it.

What would the toast in Hebrew be called?

The lechem?

Lechem means bread, not toast.

Lechem.

Warm bread.

Let's actually look it up.

What does, how do you say toast in Hebrew?

Oh my god, lechem cham.

Lachem cham.

I mean, I like that better.

Oh, there is like a full word.

Harmat kosit.

I don't like that.

Halachim cham.

That's beautiful.

Jackie, that's beautiful.

Oh, well, I think we should get into everything.

I have really not much to catch up with you on.

You meet us in Deer Toasters, and we've got to get there.

We've got to get there.

Yeah.

So

further.

Adzo.

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Yeah.

Thank you, Claudia.

You're welcome.

Okay, our first story, circling back to a top story from yesterday, Harry and Megan's car chase, quote unquote, story is kind of...

unfurling.

Okay.

Harry and Mike, first, Harry and Megan are demanding the photo agency give them footage of the chase and the agency is firing back.

So Prince Harry and Megan Markle are trying to put the squeeze on a photo agency that claimed their freelance paparazzi who followed the couple Tuesday night were not, as Megan and Harry claimed, highly aggressive and didn't cause a near collision.

As we stated

that Backgrid released a statement saying that their

people and freelance photographers were not in any way acting dangerously.

Nefariously.

Maybe nefarious is subjective.

Is it nefarious to take someone's picture without them wanting it?

So they're saying they weren't acting dangerous.

catastrophically.

Right.

So Harry Megan's legal team fired off a letter to Backridge Photo Agency, claiming in part that they need the agency's footage of the chase to shore up their own security, adding, quote, we hereby demand that Backridge immediately provide us with copies of all photos, videos, and or films taken last night by the freelance photographers after the couple left their event and over the next several hours.

Backgrid's lawyer has rejected their demand, saying in a letter, quote, in America, as I'm sure you know, property belongs to the owner of it.

In America, third parties cannot just demand it be given to them as perhaps kings can do

perhaps you should sit down with your client and advise them that his English rules of royal prerogative to demand that the citizenry hand over their property to the crown were rejected by this country long ago.

We stand by our founding fathers.

Wow.

Okay.

I mean, they took liberty

with that statement.

Although they're not wrong, you can't just demand.

And it's not like they were asking for the footage for like a legal case.

They just want it to tighten up.

And yeah, like it would be nice for Backgrid to hand it over so that Megan and Harry can know what went wrong.

But by no means are they required to by law

at all?

No.

It would just be nice.

Like, yeah, oh, I need this.

Can you help me?

Yeah, sure.

But like to send like a threatening legal letter is probably not the best way to get what you want.

No, and like demand, there's no requirements.

And there's no reason for them to demand, like have to give it over to them.

I also wonder why we haven't seen the footage since there's been so much like you know they said they said and Megan and Harry are saying the paparazzi were acting in a dangerous way and and background is saying like no we weren't like why not just show us what happened yeah

I also just think it's a weird tactic because at the end of the day like Megan and Harry are asking for something from backgrid as like a favor.

They really are not legally in any way required to hand this stuff over.

So to send like a stern letter from a lawyer, maybe they thought like intimidation might be helpful.

But this is like a big company and they have legal teams of their own.

I just don't know if that's the best tactic to get what you want.

I also feel like if there were like a high-speed chase in the city with, you know, cars driving on sidewalks.

Pedestrian footage.

There would be so much pedestrian footage.

That's actually really cool.

Especially over the course of two hours.

But then a New York police source said that the ordeal from like when they left the Zigfield ballroom to when they got home was like 20 minutes.

Oh, the report said two hours.

Their report.

That's what we said yesterday.

I'm sure it's somewhere in between the two.

Also, when we were were talking about it yesterday, I totally forgot where Zigfield Ballroom was, and I just assumed that they were downtown because everything's downtown.

It's on 54th, and then the precinct that they were at was 67th, and then they were going a little more uptown.

So, like, no, yeah, there's no room for a high, like, for a lot, a long

right that whole, probably from Zigfield Ballroom

to where the, no, no, no, no, because 20 blocks is a mile, depending on where they live.

I'd say maybe like one and a half to two miles.

It's really not enough for a car chase.

And, of course, knowing what we know about the city, you really can't physically create a car chase.

Right.

Without

running into a garbage truck, a parked car, a building, a restaurant on the street.

Like there's really no way.

Yeah.

It's just the weirdest story.

It's a weird story.

A lot of people are like poking holes in it and, you know, saying that they think that it has been fabricated and exaggerated and it's a bad look for the Sussexes.

I also don't know why they're continuing it.

Like, Yeah.

They really shouldn't have, I don't know why they really want this footage to the point where they're going to send a letter.

And now it's like creating another wave of news and more people coming out saying this.

And they look like just so entitled, like, give us your footage.

Yeah, no, it's not.

It's not a good look.

And the

liberties taken in this statement are quite funny.

I'm not going to lie.

In America.

Yeah.

Wow, it's really just giving like revolutionary war vibes.

You know, the Brits versus the Americans.

Who will win?

Who will win?

But what about, like, they took all this footage?

Why, what are you going to use it for?

No, and by the way,

Harry and I think Doria Doria or maybe one of their

security guards, like I saw pictures of Harry like with his phone sideways, like he's filming a Patreon video filming.

So they have their own footage.

Yeah, also there was a source that said, I don't know which camp, not Harry and Megan's camp, I don't know if it was like a police source or someone else that was saying that actually their security was acting in a manner that was more unsafe.

Like they, the way that they were trying to navigate the situation was causing more calamity.

Well, that's definitely a takeaway for me that whoever's in charge of security for Harry and Megan, like, isn't doing a great job.

Because again, taking them out of an armored vehicle and putting them in a yellow cab is in the midst of what they said it was a high-speed chase is such a bad call.

So maybe that's why they want the footage to like see what went wrong.

But like they need a new director of security operations.

That's what I'm thinking.

A new DISO.

Yeah, there is a video here of their cab.

Is that like a paparazzi footage or bystander footage?

I think paparazzi.

See, this is so bad.

Like they're this is so bad.

Their windows are completely, they're leaving, like,

they've left Harry and Megan so vulnerable in an untinted window.

Imagine just sitting there.

Their flash bulbs are going off.

This is at TMZ that they have this.

Oh, so like they're just sitting ducks in this yellow cab.

No, it's a terrible idea, whoever put them in this car.

And that's actually like a security threat.

Like that, I understand them feeling unsafe.

Like that's such a dumb idea.

Yeah.

I wonder what was going through the driver's mind at this time.

Like he stopped at a red light or whatever.

He spoke on it.

No, I know, but is he thinking like I'm going to be a star?

You know, he's probably just picks up and drops people off every day.

There's probably like a monotony to it.

And then one day a princess gets in his car.

It's probably nothing like picking up Keenan.

It's probably nothing like.

And you know who would never have put them in danger?

Keenan's Uber driver.

Yeah, Uber drivers.

But specifically, like the one that I spoke to, who like really.

I thought you've had multiple.

I have, but like the first one, like he spoke so highly.

And that's why I've been on like alert for Keenan every time somebody else brings him up.

Got it.

Do you feel like I should tell that story?

Like people know what we're talking about?

I think they know.

Okay.

Also, we have a Patreon episode, Claudia's Favorite Stories.

Yeah.

Where since now, like, we cite the stories, but we don't go into them because it's been established.

So repetitive.

She's talked about them a number of times.

We have a Patreon episode where we went through a list of like maybe 20 stories that Claudia likes to cite, and she tells the whole story.

The whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

So help me, God.

So help her.

It's a really good episode: patreon.com/slash toast.

And also, if you head over there, you'll see my vlogs from the Eras tour, from my trip to Dallas for the ACM Awards, like really kind of premium.

She's been like on a vlogging premium filmmaking.

We're actually supposed to film a vlog today.

Yeah.

I hope that we do that.

I don't know if we'll do it directly after this episode, but I'll come.

I'll come by later to do it.

Sure.

It's going to be really cool.

I'm going shopping in Claudia's closet for maternity clothes.

And I've like really needed to clean out my closet anyway.

So I'm really looking forward to getting some of this crap off my hands.

It's a win-win.

Yeah.

And then we could go shopping to supplement.

To fill the holes.

To fill the holes.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Miley Cyrus has a boyfriend, and she's detailing their meeting.

but they've been dating for a long time and just never either of us realized.

Okay.

Miley Cyrus details meeting boyfriend Max Mirando on a date that was blind for me and not really for him.

So she is on the cover of British Vogue and

singer-songwriter detailed the story of how she met the fellow musician.

He is a drummer in the band Lily.

Familiar.

Well, it's L-I-I-L-Y.

Lily?

L-I-I-L-Y?

Lily.

I think that's how it's pronounced.

She said, we got put on a blind date.

She was first seen hanging out with him in November 2021

at the Gucci Love Parade Fashion Show in L.A.

She said, well, it was blind for me and not really for him.

I thought the worst that can happen is I leave.

The publication noted that Miley received a call from Max Midway through their interview.

Her ringtone for him is Erica Badu's Tyrone, on which she commented, I call that boyfriend sexy ringtone.

Okay.

One month after the fashion show, the pair were photographed getting close backstage during her Miley's New Year's Eve party as they held hands and danced to the end of the year.

How do you miss all of this?

I don't know.

And this is like over a year.

And then in March 2023, they were at the Versace show together in L.A., which like we just saw all the time.

Was popping.

Was popping.

Missed that again.

It's probably because like, not to be rude, he's like a nobody.

But she's a major self-yeah, yeah.

Every relationship she's been in in her whole career, we've known about.

So true.

And it's not like she's been hiding from us.

No, she's been clearly very public.

Literally, here's them in 2021.

Damn, they kind of look like...

Maybe it's because if I saw a picture of that, I would have thought it was one of her siblings because she has so many and they all have long hair.

Or just like a friend.

And the picture itself isn't giving relationship love.

Romance.

It's kind of just like, oh, we're both dressed in Gucci for the show.

Well, she wasn't on my list of singles, but like I did think about her as like a single person.

So I just need to readjust my mindset.

But now like that they have all these years of relationship under their belt and we're just hearing about it now like I'm really happy for her.

And I feel like maybe she'll get married.

I can appropriately ship like knowing that this is real.

Right.

There's you know, they have a track record.

It's been a a long time.

History.

Yeah.

That's nice.

You and me got a whole lot of history.

Oh.

We can be just like, when is One Direction going to get back together?

Like this hiatus?

Starting to think it's not a hiatus.

But you don't love Harry Solo?

I do.

I do, by the way.

But I don't think I love Harry Solo

easier than One Direction.

More than I ever loved One Direction.

And the music is just as good.

Like One Direction music, I'm sorry, I will literally, this is like a point I will take to my death, is some of the best music ever made.

Like, the song we just sang is so good.

Midnight memories.

Like, all their songs are good songs, and I will fight anyone who disagrees with me.

And all of Harry's music is really, I'm, who's a mess of musical restaurants.

You don't think Harry's music is better?

I think they're honestly equally as good.

I know that's like crazy to say because Harry's is more critically acclaimed.

I think a lot of people would consider Harry's is like more mature and artistic.

I agree with you.

They're equally as good, but I think that's a hot take.

Is it?

I think One Directions music is some of the best music ever made.

And I just, and I think actually, as we age, it gets better.

You would think it's like teeny bopper music.

You know, it's music we liked when we were six.

Like, no, it's fucking good.

It's not like the most deep shit, but it's good pop music.

Like, it makes you dance.

It makes you shake your ass.

It's good.

Yeah.

It's more than that, though.

Yeah, but I'm saying it's not like the most deep lyrics.

So it's not surface lyrics or it is?

It's a little surface lyrics.

It depends on the song.

Yeah, but then they tried to go deep with little things and it's like stop talking about my satellite

pool.

Yeah, I'm not

going to one direction for like introspective lyrics that will make me rethink, you know, my identity.

But that doesn't, that's not the only thing that makes good music.

No, I like the beat,

you know?

So I forget the point I was trying to make when I was.

I don't know how we got here from Miley.

Miley.

You and me, they have history.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, and it's not just a hiatus.

Yeah.

That was like a deep tangent.

It happened so quickly.

Yeah.

It wasn't like a fluid train of thought that we could trace back.

No, no.

Because we broke out into a song.

We just got off track.

We broke out into a song and it just kind of disrupted the whole thing.

Right.

But that's really the story.

Like, she's on cover British Vogue.

She has a boyfriend named Max.

And they say

Maximilian.

That's his full name.

Maximilian.

No, because his name is Max with two X's.

Max 6.

max

of italy very cool

he's obviously like a purveyor of language and linguistics no and like this is so miley like he's artsy never heard of him but he exists yeah he's like in the scene and great yeah and like i don't really need her to have like a gangbuster as blockbuster relationship because that that was liam and it was really good while we had it and knowing what we know now is like it had its problems of course but she went through that era and she can settle down with nobody she gave us that you know yeah she gave a lot she gave us a lot and even after like we got a lot of music years later yes so i don't feel like she owes us

a public relationship a high profile relationship like we she gave it to us yeah i mean i am still shipping like hannah and jake but like it's okay but not miley and jesse cody

No, Miley and Jesse, the brunette.

What's her last boyfriend, Cody?

No.

Oh, oh, I think, I'm sorry.

I'm talking about Hannah Montana, like the characters oh yeah no I was who like which Hannah Montana love interest like were you well Jake Ryan was the one he was but he cheated on her remember no he didn't mean it at a party and like Oliver got a picture on his flip phone it's Hannah and Miley and Jake like that's she had Jesse and she had the others but it was he's what OTP oh I really felt otp was Jesse I mean she wrote smooth talking

he wrote he could be the one yeah I guess I meant like he wasn't but I like if I was

pretty close, like, considering he was so different from her.

I just, now that I never thought about this before, but like the fact that Jake Ryan like was the one for her, like, I actually don't agree.

I didn't like him.

I just feel like he was the one.

I don't know why.

No, you're totally entitled to your opinions.

Who did she end up with?

I think you're right.

Jake.

But Lily.

Right, right.

Like, best friends forever.

Yeah.

We stand Jake.

No, Jesse.

That was confusing.

Not really.

Jake and Jesse?

Jake Ryan.

When you say Jake Ryan.

Jake Ryan.

Yeah, he's a firstie, lastie.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

More romantic news.

Because Jeff Bezos has been on his $500 million yacht with his girlfriend, Lauren Sanchez.

I saw him.

And it appears that there is a bust of Lauren.

Yeah, he had like a statue created of her.

On the vessel.

Yeah.

And that's why it's 500 million.

I feel like it maybe would have been 400 million.

Without that.

The bust.

No, I mean, I can't even see a whole picture of the whole ship.

There's like a zoomed in

drone photo.

No, but like, here's the ship.

There's a helicopter.

It's so big.

And a helipad.

It's so big.

$500 million.

And so there's this statue.

And I guess it sort of looks like his girlfriend Lauren Sanchez.

But is it?

No, I think a lot of people would consider this odd.

And it is.

But for me, I feel like immense relief.

Because Jeff Bezos is clearly all in on Lauren Sanchez.

Like, it's been years.

he has a bust,

and it's like his embarrassing text messages were leaked all those years ago, and it wasn't for nothing.

Like, if anything, seeing this weird, you know, testament of his love in the shape of a statue made of marble makes it all worth it, you know?

We read those humiliating text messages that got leaked to National Enquirer by her brother, I think.

And it was humiliating, and we, and, you know, everybody mocked him endlessly.

And at least it was for true love.

Yeah.

They're going strong.

They are going strong.

And it's nice.

And it seems like they have have a lot of fun.

They really enjoy their circumstances.

She's age-appropriate, which I think a lot of, you know, you know, the top 10 most rich men in the world who end up divorcing their wives don't always go for the age-appropriate girl.

So I think I have no choice but to stand, honestly.

Okay.

I'm happy for them.

She's not the obvious choice, you know?

Yeah.

It's nice.

No, I don't, I don't not, like, I don't know that I ship on the, on the vessel

because I just don't care enough.

But I do think they're like a solid, legit couple who was very much in love.

You don't ship on the vessel, but do you ship the vessel?

The boat itself, um, like it's kind of ugly.

It's kind of ugly.

And like, I just want to be honest, like, I really don't feel like you need to spend $500 million on a boat.

You know me, I'm like, excess of everything.

Of course.

And I want the nicest boat ever.

Like, the nicest boat ever, like, the $100 million one, like, isn't enough.

Even the $100 million ones have helly.

Yeah.

I don't know why this one is so expensive.

It looks like a pontoon by the way yeah and i think it also has sail um

it's a sailing yacht which is i think actually unless you don't like it's a nice feature to have because then if you run out of gas like you're necessary so mobile no i think like it's it's it's pretty smart like a backup emergency plan if the vessel fails yeah you can always just put the sails up and and get to work and set sail quite literally quite literally but yeah no it's a crazy boat and so i just need to understand like what it has that the other boats that are so crazy don't have I just think I guess it has her.

For me, like for me to think that your boat is like a little too much, like, and I really,

more is more with me.

I'm not one of these like eat the rich people.

Like, yeah, go.

I just, I think you've crossed a line when I think this is too much.

Yeah.

Because like I've seen, you know, people go on boats and, you know, on Instagram, they're like, oh my God, look, this is one of the, and it's like a $200 million yacht.

500?

Yeah.

Why?

It's not even your house.

You use it on vacation, what, a couple times a year?

The $100 million one's not enough?

It costs $25 million a year to run.

Right.

It can accommodate 18 guests.

That's it?

And requires a crew of 40 sailors.

So I guess there's like

60 people on the boat.

Okay, and how much like deadass does it cost to build a cruise ship?

Ooh.

Like, you know, like Carnival.

How much?

Yeah, like the new ones, celebrity cruise, they're always.

A cruise ship.

I feel like they always announce like their new feature and they say how much it costs.

Okay, today's newest cruise ships can easily break a billion dollars, although construction costs can vary widely depending on the ship's size.

In fact, almost all cruise ships with a capacity of over 3,000 passengers cost over $750 million to build.

So he's in like the same budget as a boat that's carrying 5,000 people?

3,000, yeah.

Whatever.

Like that's...

I'm sorry.

Call me crazy.

I'm eating the rich.

This is unnecessary.

Yeah.

Having said that, I would not turn down an invitation on the boat and maybe get a front row seat to the bus itself.

To the the bust itself.

Let's get back to the bust.

Is it her or is it just a funny coincidence?

No, it's her.

I think it's her too because most of these busts, we actually just read a book for the Redheads.

It was about bust making?

It was about the woman who inspired all the busts that were made in like the Gilded Age or all over the city, like, you know, MetLife Building.

Like she's called Angelica in the book, and she's just a perfect specimen of a woman.

All the sculptors used her as their like

fit model.

Exactly.

And this doesn't have that vibe of like that greek no she looks like a modern woman she looks like a modern woman named

sanchez there are no like statues made of like unknown people that aren't like giving physiques like they have curves and imperfect breasts like they're older standards of beauty They're older standards of beauty.

There's no hair extensions

or implants.

Yeah.

Implants.

No, it's totally her.

I think it's a really sweet romantic gesture.

Yeah.

That's like a nice gift to get for your partner when you are a multi-billionaire and they have everything and like you just need it to be thoughtful and expensive.

Yeah.

And it's like, here, I had a bus made of you and I'm putting it on my yacht and that's how much I love you.

Yeah, like when you're that wealthy, you got to get creative because there's really only so many Birken bags like that can fit in a closet.

Right.

That's a regular Tuesday that you get a Birkin bag.

Right.

Right.

But this bus comes around every once in a while.

And what we know about Jeff from his league text messages is he's actually quite the romantic.

Yes.

And he just wants to get drunk with you, a little drunk.

Yeah, and read the newspaper newspaper with you.

Exactly.

And I'm sure they do a lot of that on the boat.

I'm sure that they do.

The boat is called Koru.

Spell it?

K-O-R-U.

It's Maori for the loop often found on silver necklaces, which symbolizes new beginnings.

No, I don't like it.

If you had a boat, what would you call it?

Mine would be called the Turtleoo.

The Turtleoo Set Sail.

Right.

Guys, be at the dock at six.

Turtleoo sets sail.

Yeah.

At 0600 hours.

What about you?

Hmm.

The Roldini?

Oh, that's cute.

The Rold is a nice name.

Yeah, I feel like on Below Deck, like all the boats have four letter names.

Yeah.

Arrow.

It needs to be something like poetic, not so

obvious, just like a nice,

beautiful word.

What are words we love?

The wench.

That's it.

Period.

Period.

The wench.

When she lives.

The wench is making making her maiden voyage.

I got to be there for the inaugural sale.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Dixie D'Amilio was taken to the hospital in an ambulance after feeling faint.

Dixie D'Amelio was hospitalized on Thursday after feeling faint at work.

An ambulance was called.

A source tells page six, and she was treated at the hospital for dehydration and is now feeling much better.

We're told the 21-year-old singer still planned to make it to the D'Amelio footwear launch event, which was scheduled for Thursday evening, despite the medical incident.

And sure enough, she did show up to the event in an all-leather look just hours later.

She wore a black bandeau top and matching maxi skirt with her newly platinum locks slicked back into a ponytail.

So here she is at the event looking gorgeous after having just been in the hospital.

It's giving like Elvis.

It's giving overwork.

Yeah.

Let the girl rest.

Yeah, clearly something's going on.

Like I'm sure she's okay, but you don't just like go call an ambulance and go to the hospital for something any day.

you have to be extremely run down.

Right.

And I don't really feel like

you know, footwear is like an important, like, I feel like she could have skipped it.

I'm sure this was a big launch for them.

D'Amilio Footwear, it's you know, eight extra.

It came across my TikTok yesterday.

The dad made a TikTok, and I looked at the account.

I'm like, D'Amilio footwear?

I must have missed a chapter, but obviously, it's like a new thing.

It's right now.

The chapter starts.

They're doing a lot.

They are.

Like, as a family.

Where in the world is Addison, Ray?

She's been posting to IG a little bit.

She got booked for another movie with Ryan Reynolds.

I know, but like, she's so pulled back.

I know.

I'm just trying to support her.

Me too.

And I actually think ultimately it'll be a good thing for her because like, you know, it's a slippery slope to like overexposure.

And honestly, it feels like the D'Amelios might be headed that way.

But like, I just worry for Addison.

I know, but I just trust that she's doing what's best for her.

I really do.

Okay.

And she seems okay.

And every time she, like, pops up, she's okay.

Yeah.

But yeah, the D'Amilios do a lot, but I think it works for them.

Like, they must sell a lot of Hollister and a lot of shoes and a lot of coffees and

selfie ring lights.

Like, because here we go, Addison.

Another one.

Addison footwear.

D'Amilio footwear.

Yeah.

Well, wishing Dixie the best.

You know, take some rest.

A break is okay.

A break is okay.

Please rest.

Please.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Yeah.

Starbucks is changing the type of ice that they use in drinks, and people are in a tizzy over it.

Why?

I don't feel particularly.

Are you talking about shape?

Shape.

I don't like crave.

I think Starbucks ice is like a weird shape.

Are they going cube?

They're going nugget, which is better.

This is huge for the community.

It is huge, but people are upset.

They think it's going to melt too quickly.

That's a fair, fair concern, honestly.

Like, I have a nugget ice machine.

I love it.

I don't find that it melts really quick, but scientifically, like, it's smaller.

I get it.

Yeah.

In a statement to people, the coffee giant announced its plan to begin changing the ice used in its signature drinks as part of a multi-year rollout starting this year.

Quote: As we continue to innovate and make investments in the Starbucks experience for our partners and customers, we are introducing new machines that make nugget ice to select stores this year.

Customers who have tried nugget ice in our handcrafted ice beverages during testing had a resoundingly positive response.

Many stores will not see the change this year.

The company is prioritizing stores that have a high volume of cold drink orders.

So I guess like hot locations.

Yeah, no, I feel like if they, they tested it extensively.

I think melting would obviously be a concern when it comes to a focus group on ice.

So, I feel like there was no merit there.

That people's concerns are that they're melting.

Yeah.

Like, I'm sure they looked into it.

This is like a nate, like, I know it sounds so stupid what we're talking about, like ice shape, but like for Starbucks, it's huge.

This isn't like a.

They produce so much ice.

And ice is weirdly, extremely personal.

Of course.

What's your favorite shape?

i'm not a huge ice girl actually i guess sometimes ice can be really dirty i know yeah also i don't like ice in certain drinks because it does melt inevitably i don't want a watery diet coke

Oh, I like a Diet Coke.

I like ice in my Diet Coke, but I don't like ice in like my sparkling water.

Some people do.

I think that's me either because it's like I'm just mixing sparkling and flat.

With flat, yeah.

Like maybe if they made cubes made of sparkling.

That's a great idea.

That's like also, there's like ice talk where people have all these varieties of ice.

Well, it's really smart.

Iced coffee ice is really smart, but like

there's not enough time in the day, right?

But people who actually make ice cubes out of iced coffee and then use that in their iced coffee so that, like, if it melts throughout the day, it's completely fine.

Is like they're living in the future, those people.

They are, but they also have insane amounts of time, insane amounts of time.

And then people have different shaped ice for like the different glassware that they have.

And that's nuts.

And then they have like color, like flowers in their ice.

Yeah, no, they lost me there.

Yeah.

But like the coffee thing actually makes sense.

I would do like frozen Diet Coke.

Like, that's a good idea.

Frozen Diet Coke?

Cubes.

Oh.

For my Diet Coke.

Yeah, how would that work?

Does Diet Coke freeze?

Yeah.

Yeah.

But

we should try it.

100% Patreon.

Patreon.

Yeah.

I think, I wonder what

prompted them, compelled them to change the ice shape.

Right.

There's nothing like special about their ice, but maybe they want to be special.

I think a lot of people, like, if I am going to get a soda.

And there's a Chick-fil-A and a McDonald's, like, I actually, and I'm just getting a soda, I probably would go to Chick-fil-A because they have the crushed ice.

Well, not crushed nugget.

Yeah.

And it just makes the experience more special.

It really does.

It's so stupid, but it does.

Right.

And I feel like maybe people would drink the drinks faster and then get more drinks.

And I know a lot of people think this is gross, but there are people who are ice chewers.

People like finish a drink and then finish a cup of ice too.

They chew on the ice throughout the day.

So if you're an ice chewer, nugget ice does elevate that experience.

They're doing it for the ice chewers.

It's possible.

It's possible.

Maybe that's not the whole reason, but they definitely factored in the ice chewers yeah i think it's exciting change you know i know i know that doesn't like it's not like you know when they put those lids on the cups where yeah you're actually that was destructive you're being harmful that was destructive to the community i don't think it would be the worst idea for them to offer both ice shapes but they can like they already people customize their orders so greatly like these races like they need to just have one ice machine and it needs to be you know the assembly line i think the personalization of coffee is what draws so many people to starbucks like they have so many different agree if they put nice ice in there there that you could have it be personal, but people take advantage and they get carried away, and it's not right.

Like, it's, it's just a coffee, and it's just Starbucks.

Like, I wonder what Heather Dubrow thinks of this.

Because she was in the hexagonal ice.

She probably doesn't think it's elevated enough.

She probably doesn't go to Starbucks whether they, you know,

in her basement.

100%.

Cool.

Well, this doesn't affect me.

I don't get my, I don't go to Starbucks.

Me neither.

I use the ready to drink.

I use the ready to drink.

I had one this morning, but you know what?

My ice wasn't right.

My ice machine makes these huge cubes.

I, by the way.

It was sticking out the top of my cup.

I just leave it there.

The cubes that come from a traditional refrigerator that are almost like a half moon shape.

Half moon.

Those are the worst types of ice shapes.

The refrigerator companies should be changing their ice.

You know, a lot of new Samsung refrigerators make

nugget ice.

It's like a reason a lot of people are getting new fridges.

Damn.

I mean, I got a new new fridge recently in Florida and I didn't even think of that.

Damn.

And then there's smelly ice.

And then there's smelly ice.

I remember like many, many years ago, this like big expose in the New York Times came out about ice like having fecal matter in it.

And from here on out, like as a family, we never used ice at restaurants anymore.

Okay, sorry.

There's two separate things.

Like there's that, the fact that ice weirdly is so dirty and carry like because people stick their hands in it at restaurants and in public places.

But like I have a nice freezer yeah I don't put any home is safe I don't put people anything crazy in it but my ice can get smelly and then you have to clean out the entire freezer i was googling it you have to take everything out you have to wipe down the whole freezer because it's like the smell of freezer goods starts to penetrate the ice it ruins every drink so i actually use my ice machine that like sits up on my counter not in the refrigerator and that also needs to be cleaned but it's just a water take it's actually not hard to clean at all yeah that's better you're living an elevated experience yeah i mean i did spend 500 on an ice machine but it was an anniversary gift that Ben got for me, which was actually like one of the better gifts I've gotten.

You and Ben are like Jeff and Lauren.

Who's that?

Bezos.

That is so nice.

My ice machine was from Amazon.

$500 ice machine, $500 million yacht.

Get you a couple who could do both.

So those were the past five.

And you were right.

There was an element of randomness to them.

General randomness.

But I have no complaints.

You did a great job.

You're doing great, sweetie.

Thank you.

But the show's not over.

Don't fret because finally the long-awaited Deer Toaster segment is coming up and it is brought to you by Lululemon.

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Also, the stretch is really supportive.

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So get into Lululemon shorts at lululemon.com.

Are you ready for dear towasters?

I am.

Dearest Jackson Turd, thank you ladies for keeping me company through quarantine, new mom life, and beyond.

I need some wisdom, so I'll get straight to it.

My husband and I have been happily married for six years, total PJOM.

We just welcomed our third child at the end of last year.

That being said, he has started a new habit that makes me want to murder him.

For the last several months, he has decided that he wants to sleep with his hand on my ass.

And by on my ass, I mean bare ass, ass, skin to skin.

As in, he puts his hand in my pajama pants.

He claims he, quote, likes to feel my skin.

I find this so annoying.

I'm a stay-at-home mom to three very young children.

My oldest is only three, and someone is always touching me.

When I get into bed at night, I want to sleep in peace.

I'm so annoyed, I dream of moving to our guest room so I can sleep alone.

Other than this, we have a wonderful marriage, so please help me convince him that this new habit is just annoying as fuck and unacceptable.

Sincerely, a touched-out toaster.

Interesting.

I'm actually dealt with something similar.

Ben does the most annoying thing.

And

I sleep on my side.

So like, I sleep on my left side and my right side, my hip kind of like my bone juts out a little bit.

So skinny.

And Ben like loves to rub it.

And it's so weird to the touch.

And I beg him every night.

He comes over.

He's like, hip, hip.

I'm like, shh, I literally want to punch him in the throat.

So what I started to do,

what I was going to, I would go over to him and I would, what would I, I think think it was like, you know, the really fleshy part of your underarm, like where like your like bat wings, I call them.

I would squeeze it like really in the most annoying, hard way.

And he'd be like, ah, stop.

I'm like, oh, you don't like that?

You don't like that.

Hip.

Hip.

Really showing them, because to them, it's like innocuous.

It's like, oh, skin to skin love.

But like when someone just touches your skin in a sensitive area and in a way you don't want to, like they have to feel it in order to understand why you're not being crazy, but you're valid.

Yeah, but I feel like what her husband's doing, like, like, it is sweet.

You should not pinch him in return.

But could you guys find a compromise where like he wants skin to skin, like maybe hand holding or another touching of the arm?

She doesn't want to be touched.

She's a mom of three.

She's touched all day.

People pulling on her.

Like,

could she get a minute of peace even in her slumber?

Yeah.

Do it back.

Do it back.

But he would like it back.

He would like it.

No, but in a way, that's annoying.

Of course, I wasn't caressing Ben's cheek, being like, oh, my love.

I was being fucking annoying, pinching his underarm.

And he stopped?

Yep.

Yep.

Okay.

Touch him back.

Touch him back.

You got to get a dose of your own medicine sometimes to like really see.

But it sounds like these are different medicines.

It doesn't matter.

So you're upping the dose.

And you also know when somebody rubs like a lightly like caresses over the same patch of skin multiple times, it becomes so irritating you can commit genocide.

I'm someone who's like anti-touch, so I know what you're describing.

And I know that

it's not pleasant.

Yeah.

But I also, you know, intention versus impact.

You don't want to hurt his feelings.

That's why telling him is not enough.

You need to let him see firsthand

why it's infuriating.

Yeah, no, I could jump out of my skin at the idea of someone like continuing to rub the same area.

No, no, it starts to feel like it's on fire.

I can't.

I honestly, I'm triggered.

Now I'm triggered.

So you touch him back.

That's my advice.

Next up, good luck.

Dear Jackson Claude, I have a conundrum.

I work a job in a manufacturing environment with pretty strict no work from home policy.

I have a rhinoplasty scheduled in November and I'm busy saving up sick days to cover the time.

The doctor says, though, it'll take about two weeks before I can go without bandages, and I won't be able to take that much time off.

Do I just own it and admit that I'm getting a nose job?

Do I pass it off as like fixing a breathing problem?

Do I say nothing?

The people I work with are very nosy and very judgy and essentially all men.

I don't want to face the judgment in a professional setting when it's my face and my time off to use.

Help.

Thanks, Emilian.

That's really hard.

If it's all men and they're judgy, like I typically with me, like honesty is best policy.

Like you're getting a nose job.

That's so exciting.

I would kind of just lead with it.

Hell yeah.

And take as many 60, sick days as you can, but eventually like you have to do come in with bandages.

So I would own it, but not if they're going to torture you.

Yeah.

You could say you were injured.

Yeah.

I also think like, I don't think there's any shame in plastic surgery.

So I'm like, yeah, own it.

Who cares?

But if it's going to cause you like strong annoyance and grief, like it's just not worth it.

Like these are your coworkers.

Like it doesn't matter if you're honest with them about your plastic surgery or something.

That's so true.

Like you can say like

over the weekend, like I ran into a wall or something.

Yeah.

Like a screen door.

I was just getting over being sick, but I was like a little foggy, had some Nyquil.

But like will they notice their men, like when you take off your bandage at your nose is different?

No.

They won't?

No.

I guess it's really, we need more intel on how drastic.

Are you just like getting a little bump fixed or do you have like, you know, a crater and you're getting it like completely

bumped, like maybe like when you hit your nose on the wall, like it just kind of corrected.

It corrected itself.

Yeah.

Men would believe stuff like that.

Yeah, that's true.

I don't know if they'd necessarily believe that your nose looks different, depending on how drastic the surgery is.

Yeah.

I think you could tell a little lie.

You can, but I also think there's no shame in owning it.

Like, I think these are two good options.

Like, own it, like, literally, who cares?

Or lie.

Like, you don't owe your coworkers full transparency.

Whatever's going to make your life easier.

Yeah.

Whatever's going to make your life easier, go with that one.

But they're both good options.

Yeah.

And it does, you'll be okay regardless.

Like, it's just annoying.

It is annoying.

But two good options.

Choose whichever one you think will make your life easier.

Yeah, but don't like feel bad about lying.

Like it's time.

People lie about like sick days all the time.

Like, oh, I'm sick.

You know, there are six flags.

It's whatever goes on in the surgery room is between you and your medical care provider.

Like you're entitled to medical privacy.

You don't owe anyone like full transparency on your plastic surgery.

No, but she comes in with a bandage.

Like, no, like, you're going to get questions.

You're going to get questions.

So we need to navigate that.

Yeah.

So I'm saying it's okay to lie was my point like about a surgery.

I agree.

Best of luck.

And I can't wait to see your results.

I'm so excited for you.

That's so exciting.

It is exciting.

Yeah.

I like, I don't need a nose job, but like if I did, I would get one.

Like I think it's probably so exciting.

Yeah.

You know, like a new, like you literally have a new face.

Also scary.

Yeah, potentially scary, but like for the most part, fine.

Yeah, just like new ice at Starbucks.

Like it's exciting.

It's exciting.

It's changed.

Even if it melts faster, like it's exciting.

The world is changing, you know?

We got to get on it.

We got to change with it.

Yeah.

All right.

Our third and final dear toasters.

Dear Jackson Claude.

Nope, that's the one I just read.

Oh, dear Jackson Clurd.

How you doing?

Different.

Different.

She obviously lives from the South.

My boyfriend and I currently live separately in a small Midwestern town.

He pays $450 in rent, but I pay about triple that because she lives in like the city and he's, you know.

We're planning on moving in together soon and I'm trying to mastermind how to divvy up the new rent fairly.

It's about $2,200.

Obviously, it's going to be a huge rent increase for him to

split 50-50.

I have a higher income than he does and I work from home, so I understand that I should probably pay a little bit more.

He could live in a tent if he had to and is hopefully saving up for a ring.

How do I go about splitting our new rent?

What seems the most fair?

And most importantly, am I an aggy bitch girlfriend by asking him to pay more just because I wanted a nice place?

Love, a marketing turned finance girl.

Okay, she works in finance.

So right now she pays, he pays $4.50 and she says she pays about triple.

Let's say $1,200.

So even if they both just continued paying their rent, it wouldn't add up.

Well, how much is the new rent?

$2,220.

$2,200.

So if she paid $1,200 and he paid $450, that's $1,650.

They still have that $600 unaccounted for.

I think they just split the difference.

They each pay $300 more.

Oh, that's a good solution.

Even though that is

so much more than him.

But that also is like almost double his rent if he's paying $300 more.

That's true.

It's like unfair on both sides.

Yeah, but is his rent low because he's been living alone and he lives off in an area that's

less.

populated and like he just has a low rent or like can he not afford to pay more than that?

Yeah.

If he just is like living and also if he can't really do more than $450, like maybe I shouldn't be living in an apartment that's that expensive.

Unless you're totally fine, but she wants what she wants.

So if you're totally fine paying that,

you have to pay for it.

If she pays like the

pretty much $1,800 and he pays $400.

I mean, that's crazy.

Yeah, that's, that's really.

I think I would even be saying that if it was like a man and a woman.

Like, that's crazy.

No, it wouldn't.

No, because at that point, it's like, well, why is a woman paying any rent?

Right.

You know?

Right.

No,

it also depends, like, what is your philosophy?

Like, are you a traditional girl?

Will this bother you in your relationship?

Like, every time you get into a fight, are you going to bring this up?

Right.

Because that's not fair.

In which case, like, you guys need to get into a small apartment.

Yeah.

A low, yeah, or a different neighborhood.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just feel like I'm sure you could swing it.

And even if you would be like, and if this is where you want to live, then you'll find a way to make it work.

But I just feel like it's always going to be like the undercurrent in your relationship.

Like.

you pay, I don't know, an eighth of the rent.

No, I mean, if they split the difference, she'd be paying $1,000 more than him in a $2,200 apartment.

It's a lot.

It's a lot.

But, like, what are your philosophies?

Like, will this bother you?

Are you traditional?

Like, you know, all that stuff.

Or you don't care.

If you don't care, then get yourself the apartment.

She also shouldn't have to sacrifice how she wants to live because her boyfriend doesn't want to pay more rent.

Yeah.

So I think we could do a few things.

Split the difference.

So basically, like $7.50 and $15.50.

Go to a smaller place or a lesser neighborhood, just something cheaper.

I think those are your options.

Yeah.

It's possible that he won't even want to split the difference because that really is like doubling his rent.

I know, but like, he's getting a new place.

Right.

And I'm sure he maybe has roommates now.

Like, he's literally like you're going to move to a nicer apartment that your rent's not going to change.

Yeah.

I think splitting the difference is okay if you're okay with it and it won't bother you.

Like, but you really need to like ask yourself, are you okay with it?

Is it always going to bother you?

Yeah.

And then,

yeah, exactly.

because either like then you'll find a different place or like maybe he could pay more and also you need to know like is he just doesn't want to pay more like doesn't believe in spending that much on rent or can't afford it can't afford it which is a whole different host of

like uh you'll act differently based on all those answers right so godspeed to you fan finances are tough but you're also a finance girly so i think you can make a spreadsheet you know that's so true just come out with come at him with an excel spreadsheet and he'll be so confused that you'll just win yeah but what does she want like what is she winning?

The nice apartment.

Like, she wants it.

She's like, you know, she has a certain standard of living.

Yeah.

And she shouldn't have to change that.

Okay.

So those were dear toasters.

Again, if you ever want to write in, it's dear toasters at gmail.com.

We will, of course, keep all your shit anonymous.

Don't worry about that.

And, you know, we're smart girls.

So hit us up for advice.

And if you've written in recently and we've given you some advice, whether you took it or not, we want to know.

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So write us an update and hopefully we'll get one next week.

That's our show.

That's our week.

Hope everybody had an amazing time with us this week.

I I did.

I did too.

Like I said, this week just flew by.

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So we have shows Monday through Thursday next week, but then it's Memorial Day weekend.

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