Elegant Cheating with Sofia Franklyn: Wednesday, April 26th, 2023

Audival's romance collection has something to satisfy every side of you.

When it comes to what kind of romance you're into, you don't have to choose just one.

Fancy a dallions with a duke, or maybe a steamy billionaire.

You could find a book boyfriend in the city and another one tearing it up on the hockey field.

And if nothing on this earth satisfies, you can always find love in another realm.

Discover modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Allie Hazelwood, the latest romanticy series from Sarah J.

Maas and Rebecca Yaros, plus regency favorites like like Bridgerton and Outlander.

And of course, all the really steamy stuff.

Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com slash wondery.

That's audible.com slash wondery.

You buy a pair of socks, that's two socks.

You buy a pair of bombas socks, that's four socks.

Because one purchased is one donated.

Socks are the number one most requested clothing item in homeless shelters.

So when you buy a pair of super comfortable bombas socks, you're also donating a pair.

Bombus customers have powered over 150 million donations so bombas would like to thank you 150 million times but we only have like 30 seconds go to bombas.com and use code audio for 20 off your first purchase that's bombbas.com and use code audio at checkout

good morning millennials welcome back to the toast happy wednesday it's hump day which is so appropriate because i want to hump my co-host because you look so stunning Do I actually?

Because

I just, I need to get this off my chest.

First of all, I'm fresh off a red eye.

Yes.

But I wouldn't look it.

You wouldn't.

However.

However.

I was just in San Diego and I asked the hairstylist to do a micro trim.

Okay, that's psychotic to get a hair cut, like not with your go-to person in another state.

I was desperate.

Claudia.

Go on.

Claudia.

My bangs were completely grown out.

My hair was like scraggly, like it needed to happen.

I could not deal with it.

It's psychotic, but sure.

And I knew I wouldn't have time to get in this week because I leave on Friday.

She chopped my hair off.

Like, it's, I, when I go in for a haircut, I go in like it's a surgery.

Yeah, it is.

It is.

And I'm so serious about micro trim one-eighth of an inch.

Why do you think my hair is up right now?

Okay, I just want to say your hair looks great, even though it's up, I can't see.

And I, I want to feel bad for you, but going to a new salon in a new state with a person you've never used is so like such a mentally ill thing to do.

I can't even feel bad for you.

I did research.

Especially when like I like me, you seem very particular about some people are like, yeah, just cut my hair.

Not me, but some people are like that.

So you're particular and you still went and did that.

What if you knew you had to look very great for something over the weekend and you wouldn't be able to see someone in humor?

The devil you know.

I know what my hair looks like without a haircut.

And the devil you don't know is this new international haircutter.

That is so true.

The devil you know.

I should have just let it be scraggly.

Yeah, better scraggly than something you really don't like, even though you look beautiful.

You can't look bad.

Today, my hair is up right now.

So wear your hair up this weekend.

Oh my God.

All weekend?

Where are you going?

That's going to be somewhere so fabulous that you need to look so stunning for.

Las Vegas.

What for?

Why are you going to say, bitch, no, you do not need to look that fabulous?

Yes, by the way, you need to look fabulous in Vegas.

There is an opening.

They're opening a cathedral there.

Oh, Tao Group.

Oh, cool.

And I was invited by one of my friends.

Fun.

And so I was like, you you know what?

Single me.

I'm fucking going.

Well, let's talk about that.

I feel like I just like completely took over your podcast.

That's the point.

Like diary of the mouth.

That's the point.

You're single.

I am single.

But you were seeing someone.

I was seeing someone.

I wasn't like very, very public about it for obvious fucking reasons.

But we dated for, I don't know, roughly a year, if that.

Oh, wow.

And then I was like, Sophia, you're 30.

And if you don't see this being your husband, time to knock it.

Yeah.

Yep.

Right?

Yeah.

Are you and I the same age?

Please don't age me.

I'm 28, but I'm literally a month away from turning 29.

So like, yeah, we're the same age.

Okay, great.

Are you a cancer?

I am.

What are you?

A cancer.

I don't see you as a cancer.

I don't see horoscopes.

I don't believe in them.

I don't understand them.

I think it's fraudulent.

So that makes sense that you wouldn't see me as a cancer.

You're Leo.

Oh, okay.

I'm not.

I'm literally a cancer.

But okay, Sophia, keep telling me what I am.

I will.

So you don't want to be single.

I feel like you, for a while, were like, like being single.

Okay, so I

am a total serial monogamous.

Oh, wow.

To a very unhealthy degree.

Yeah.

AK, my relationships will overlap.

Oh.

Which is a form.

It's a lot of fun.

I know

she would describe that as a serial monogamous, but continue, continue.

That's actually the most like eloquent, gracious way to say Shij.

Shit, yeah.

Like I'm so obsessed with relationships.

Sometimes I'll be in two at once.

Yeah.

Sometimes they overlap.

So that's been me for the last,

I don't know, 10 years of my life.

And so this is the first time I have been single since I swear to God, high school.

Oh, wow.

Which is scary.

Yeah.

But I feel like, you know, your experience being single, and maybe I'm just romanticizing it because I think the world of you, you're like this fabulous, stunning, gorgeous, like, it must be so fun for you to be single.

Does everybody want a piece of Sophia with an F?

No, no.

No?

I mean,

I mean, some people do, but I'm depressed.

Really?

This, this breakup is very recent.

Oh.

Like, I'm not running around gallivanting.

I mean, I am, but I'm, like, I'm dying inside.

You're crying when you get home.

Yeah, exactly.

Okay, that's so relatable, Sophia.

But I think it will go away.

The singledom or the depression?

Both.

Hopefully.

Hopefully.

Here's hoping.

Well, you look great.

I'm so excited that you're back on the toast.

It's been so long, and everybody loved Fofia Yanklin last time.

I am going to kill you for calling that Phoebe Yanklin.

Is that what you said?

L-O-L.

I love Popia Yanklin.

Fofia Yanklin.

Is that because my therapist is assistant did text Fofia?

You told that story last time on the toast that you said, oh, yeah, it's Sophia with an F.

And so she wrote, hey, Fofia.

Insanity.

F-O-P-H-I-A.

Insanity.

I do not see that therapist anymore, by the way.

That's good.

Are you in therapy?

Of course.

What do you talk about?

Is that an okay question to ask?

Because I don't go to therapy, so I don't know.

You don't?

No.

Claudia.

It's not that I'm against it at all.

I just feel like I'm not like

your life is

going pretty good.

No, my life is not going like it's like my life is like everyone's life.

It's good and bad at times.

I'm actually having a great week right now, you know, but next week will probably be terrible.

Okay.

But I feel like I actually

handle things very decently.

What does that mean?

What does that look like?

It looks like I don't talk about anything.

And then last night I had a full-blown mental breakdown watching an episode of Young Sheldon.

I was so triggered by this episode.

Can I tell you what happened?

Do you watch Young Sheldon?

No.

I don't even know what that is.

Okay, let me tell you.

You know the Big Bang Theory?

Yes.

The dumbest show.

I think it's so stupid.

I hate.

I think it's stupid.

I think everyone on it sucks.

Like, I hate it.

I love my embiolic.

Jewish queen.

I take back everything I said.

Thank you.

But they made a spin-off show about the character Sheldon.

They did a spin-off spin-off show of like what his life was like being like a child genius growing up in like the 80s in like South Texas or whatever.

And it's like such a dumb concept.

And I don't even like Big Bang Theory, but I really watched an episode like on a plane.

And it was such a heartwarming, such a cute sitcom that I started it from the beginning.

Me and Ben are obsessed.

So Via, it's got heart.

It's got comedy.

It's got science.

It's the best.

fucking show.

And it's a spin-off of the Big Bang Theory, which we just said.

Which we hate.

Hate spy.

Exactly, but it's like a prequel.

I think you just watched so much television that at this point you're like, I'll try anything.

Yes.

You'll take what you can go.

Okay, but let me tell you, that's not what's happening here.

Because this show is so good.

And Sheldon is like, his dad's this football coach, and I lost my dad very young.

And his dad is his football coach.

They really don't have a lot in common because Sheldon is like this big nerd and he just cares about like science and stuff.

And his dad is like football, football, football, very Texas barbecue beer, you know, et cetera.

And they take a trip, like a trip.

His dad drives him to go to Florida when one of the rockets from NASA is going to take off.

I'm trying to act interested right now, but keep going.

Whatever.

All I'm trying to say was like this episode with like this, this father trying to help his son and it ended up being like one of the best weekends of the son's life.

And he never got to tell his dad that because he ended up passing away.

I'm just like,

something fucking hit me from left field and I cried for 25 minutes.

Literal tears?

Oh, no, no.

I was sobbing.

Sob, Ben, like, had to hold me.

I was uncontrollably sobbing.

Some things, like, with grief, like, some things just hit you like that you don't expect.

And I don't cry every day.

I don't even cry every week or really every month.

But every now and then, something random.

And there was this episode of Young Sheldon.

Okay.

Hit me fucking sideways.

Were you on an airplane?

No, I was in my bed last night.

Okay, I was going to say maybe the altitude.

But I'm very attuned to my emotional awareness on planes, but that wasn't it.

So what about just you and your life?

Yeah.

And people doing something hurtful to you in real life.

I feel like that doesn't even affect people.

Oh, that's interesting.

Is that what people go to therapy for?

I don't think they go for Sheldon, whatever,

whatever show you're doing.

No, I think they go for Sheldon.

I really do think.

Oh, okay.

How do I handle like any sort of adversity or challenges like in my relationships?

Is what you're saying?

Yeah.

Well, I have a very small circle.

Very.

I feel like you do not let people in.

No, and part of that is like a general disinterest.

But part of that is like, also, if you cross me even once remotely by accident, like I don't really feel like

the relationship is worth pursuing.

Okay.

So I'm at a place in my life where everyone who's in my life, like we get along.

Is that weird?

Like, it's mostly like family and like five friends.

Actually, that's how I am.

Yeah.

I really have a friend group of about five people within my family.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that's how I keep it.

And those, like, if there's any sort of confrontation with anybody in that group, like, I know it's worth

working through.

Right.

But sometimes you ever have a friendship or like a relationship where it's like they hurt you, but like.

You don't even care that much about the friendship.

So it's like, what, we're going to get down to the bottom of this and like have awkward conversations when I don't even care.

No.

That's never happened to me?

No, that's how I feel.

Like somebody does something to to me and Ben's like, well, you should say something.

I'm like, but I don't really care.

But okay, but I want to know what that means.

Someone crossing you.

Oh, I have a very low bar for friendship, honestly.

Like, I just,

like, if you betray my trust.

Oh, okay.

That's it.

A hundred percent.

Like, I don't care.

You could seriously, like, you like a boy that I like or whatever.

I don't know what people fight about.

I don't care.

Literally, if you tell someone something I told you in confidence, I'm done.

That's the only thing I care about.

I am totally on board with that.

And then we just like, we have to get along and you have to be able to take a joke.

Right.

But I I mean, like, there's no like turbulence like work-wise in your relationship.

Of course.

No, there's very, there's turbulence work-wise in my relationship.

Yeah, yeah, but I either ignore it or I work through it.

Ignore it or work through it.

With work stuff, like, I ignore it.

Like, if something's weighing on me work-wise, I seriously just ignore it until it goes away.

And with Ben, we have pretty decent communication.

Like, sometimes, you know, it blows up, but every now and like, we, we have decent communication.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, great.

So, I don't know.

I'm not against therapy at all.

I've done it before, mostly for my grief.

But then they just want to talk about it.

And it's like, I'm good.

So that, yeah, that is what therapy is.

I'm just, I'm looking at you with like

just complete jealousy because I have been going to therapy since diapers.

I think it's great.

But I don't get how you've never gone to like one session.

No, I have.

I've gone to probably three

total.

Yeah.

With like three different therapists because I didn't like them each time.

I left out to them.

Okay, Okay, see, this is what the issue is.

And why didn't you like them?

Well, first, I like how you're flipping the interview on me.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

First, I didn't like it because

the first time the person was like taking liberties in the sense that like I was sharing information about my life and they were

Googling you.

No, well, that's like a big fear of mine.

But like I was talking about how my dad passed away.

He died of a heart attack.

And later on in the session, she was like, well, do you think that's because, you know, your dad died of obesity?

I'm like, excuse me, I didn't fucking say that.

um isn't that crazy that's done she's done maybe she got her wires crossed but i think maybe she was just like extrapolating like oh here's a fat bitch maybe like her dad was fat like i did not like that i did not like that you think that's what it was i don't know i don't know but it's me or maybe she got confused maybe her client before had a dad who died of obesity that's a horrible horrible therapist so i moved on yeah then the next one was this really lovely older gentleman

and I really felt like he was a nice guy, but he could not understand for the life of him what I do for a living.

Bye.

And at the time, so much of my anxiety was coming from like work stuff so what's the point right so it's just been like a series of mismatches

now i feel like an asshole because now i understand the sheldon thing right now i feel like a huge asshole

i need to literally walk out of this room it's on now i understand it you had every right to be triggered yes i was triggered oh my god

i was triggered and the dad is like this cute like old and he dresses kind of like how my dad used to dress like he's always going boating and i was just triggered by this show and honestly i don't think i can watch it anymore but it's because of that but it's so good maybe it could be like healing to to watch the next episode and just see how you feel maybe sheldon will heal me maybe you'll be my therapist yes okay we got off track and like you're turning the tables on me and i don't like no well and i don't have a dad he's never been in my life so maybe so maybe that's why i can't

maybe that's why you can't relate

Okay, that's interesting.

See, we're opening up and we're finding new layers of each other here at the toast.

That's what we do.

Do we get this deep?

We do.

Sometimes we get deep.

Like, I'm not weird about being vulnerable, especially.

I feel like when you have a podcast, you can't be.

You can't.

Are you weird about like opening up about certain things?

No.

Mine, sometimes I take it too far.

I got to stop doing that.

I'm not going to stop doing it.

No, it's what makes us authentic podcasters.

Thank you.

How's everything going at Sophia with an F?

Great.

Amazing.

I, you know, it took me like a second to find my footing after everything, but now I feel like I'm in a place where we can really just hone in and just go.

And you get great guests.

I do.

Anyone big coming up that you want to share?

I actually do have someone big coming up, but I don't want to share because I don't want to spoil it.

However, I would like to say

part of the reason I'm just super proud of how far I've come.

And by I, I mean we, my team, I have had no help from an agency and manager or, you know, a publicist.

No, it was very much like Bootstrap.

Every single guest we've had has reached out?

Yes.

Yeah.

Every single one.

That's great.

Every brand deal is negotiated by me and my small team of three other people.

Right, right, right.

No, it feels better when you do it that way, especially when you had to rebuild.

I've had to rebuild many times.

And to accomplish things when you've really started at zero feels, it feels better.

It feels better.

Like it feels so good.

It does.

And you can feel so proud of yourself, especially as a girl.

Like it's just so hard.

I mean, I never feel like great about anything.

Like taken seriously.

Not even taken seriously.

I just think I'm very extremely self-critical.

Yeah, of course.

And I think that's something I definitely need to work on in therapy.

It's this feeling of I could always be doing more.

I know.

That's like a toxic trait of, I think, like the business we're in and people just like comparing themselves to others and seeing what other people are doing.

And it just creates this, like, for me, it's like a jealousy mentality.

Like, I see other people, I'm like, I'm jealous and I want to do that.

And then you like run yourself into a hole.

It is.

It has a lot to do with the comparison shit.

And it's just competitive.

And I think competition is good.

Yeah.

But to a point, it becomes toxic.

Yeah.

You are very good, though, at getting content out.

I mean, the daily show doesn't hurt.

You do the show daily.

Yeah.

We're a daily show.

That is absolutely nutty.

And you are my idol.

And that's incredible.

Every single Monday through Friday.

Not Saturday.

I would never work on the weekend.

Sunday?

No.

Oh, my God.

You are a workhorse.

I know.

Have you always been like that?

No, no, no.

It was like always my goal to not really work.

Right.

I've never like dreamed of working in a sense.

Like, I think some people like dream of being a doctor.

Like, I dreamt of a lot of things.

And being a housewife?

Well, yeah, but not, not even that.

Like, none of my dreams ever really had anything to do with work.

Like, work for me was always just like going to be something that sustained my other dreams, you know, like going to Fiji or something.

Exactly.

But some people have like career-driven goals.

I was really never one of those people, but I kind of fell into this business.

And then the more success I started to have it was just directly correlated to how much work I was putting in

so is that how much you're working

like you get in what you put out I had no clue it's so annoying because I mean if you think about it in my past

I a lot of it was like just me being so talented well no what happened to you was actually just so crazy and it's one of those like very um

random, not random, because it is talent-based, but random.

Yeah, where it's just one day, everything flips, and you're doing millions of downloads.

Most people will build and build and build to get to that place, like a Joe Rogan type.

But when you were doing Caller Daddy and you were one of the two biggest podcasts on the planet, that was just like so

overnight almost.

I'm sure that's how it felt for you.

A thousand percent.

And then to have to restart a year later and rebuild, you've actually had both experiences.

You now are at a place with your podcast where you have like a really good community and a big audience, audience and you've built that solely week after week after week.

Whereas with Caller Daddy, it was almost instantaneous because I think you just went viral and you had the barstool machine behind you.

Yep.

And it was like instantaneous.

And that's really not how it is for everyone.

No.

And I'm learning that.

Also, it was

just like that taken away.

Oh, well, that's, I mean, that's why you go to therapy.

No, no, no.

I've gone to therapy way before that, but like I definitely doubled the dose.

I mean, now we're back to one time a week.

No, anyone who's ever been through any sort of like internet drama where they were technically like the villain or the one being canceled

needs years and years of therapy.

And maybe that's why I should go to therapy.

Okay, so yeah, I would agree with that.

I love how you say that, but you're like, I've never gone, really.

I do a daily show.

Like, when can I go to therapy?

It's true.

I need to stop with the therapy and all the bullshit and get content out and work more.

Would you ever film your therapy sessions for a podcast?

No.

That's so personal.

That's crazy.

That's psychotic.

That's like, I mean, unless we have like a certain topic, but like, I'm not going to like relive my childhood trauma.

No, that's so amazing.

And just drag people through the fucking dirt.

But that's what people do on reality TV.

I feel like on Kardashians, on housewives, we're always like sitting in on people's therapy sessions.

I'm like, this feels a little too real.

That is so fucking true.

Isn't it weird?

Do you, but there has to be, like, there are certain things that are just completely off topic.

Do you think so?

In terms of like public life?

Well, like the Kardashians.

Oh, yeah.

There's definitely like actual things that go on.

There's a list of things that you do not.

With Kardashians, I feel like those therapy sessions are definitely like really fake and manipulated.

But on reality TV, like right now in Real House, I was in New Jersey, like her and her husband, Jennifer Aiden, are going to couples therapy.

And it's like really fucking personal.

And I'm like, we don't need to see this.

I don't imagine having a camera.

Wouldn't you just like instinctively, and I'm quite

authentic.

Yeah.

There are certain things that I would just

go up.

Yeah.

100%.

Not a lot of things, but certain things.

Need to.

Everyone has their own things.

And when you're in like public life, like it's okay to have certain things that you don't talk about.

I'm very okay with that.

Boundaries.

You're drinking a Spritz at 10:30 in the morning, and that's why we stand Sophia with an F.

This flavor is incredible.

I know.

It's the painting.

Incredible.

And how on brand that I'm doing that?

I know.

She's such a supportive queenspritzsociety.com.

You wanted to dive in?

We're going to do pop culture.

Today's also Wednesday, and we have a bunch of girlies who need our advice.

And I actually feel like you'd be good at giving advice.

I'm very good at giving advice.

So you're going to help me out with some girlies who are going through some things.

Amazing.

So here are the fast five stories that you, you, yeah, you, need to know.

Today's episode is brought to you by Lululemon.

The new Lululemon Align Collection is fabulous.

The pants I wear quite literally every day that happen to be in the wash today because I've worn them so much are from the Lululemon Align Collection.

The Align Collection is fabulous.

Let me tell you why.

I've been loving the high-rise flare pant, but they also have cute little biker shorts.

They have really great options.

And the flexibility in these pants is next level.

It's a four-way stretch.

And that means you can bend, stretch, move literally any way you want without restriction or distraction.

I've been doing my physical therapy exercises in my flare pen and they've been extremely supportive.

They're really comfortable.

They're made with Nulu fabric and it's the softest, comfiest texture your legs have ever felt.

Period.

The fit is also great.

It shapes perfectly to your body for a very flattering look that is uniquely yours.

I feel like they hug me in all the right places.

They suck me in in all the right places and I'm just like looking stunning and I look like I could be going to a business meeting or to the airport.

I just look like comfortable but also funky fresh, you know?

They're also weightless.

It's a light, weightless sensation that feels like you are wearing nothing and nothing else.

So everyone knows Lululemon is the best in the game, and this align collection is really taking things to the next level.

They're super cute, but they're also really comfortable, really flexible, and just perfect to wear every day, whether you're working, traveling, being a mom, whatever it is, these pants will support you in whatever endeavor it is that you are currently embarking on.

So get into the Lululemon Align Collection.

It's available at lululemon.com.

That is, of course, L-U-L-U-L-E-M-O-N.com.

And it is the new Lululemon Align Collection.

You don't want to to miss it.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Squarespace.

All right, Squarespace is the end-all, be-all.

It is the place to go for websites.

So if you've been thinking about starting a blog or a side hustle, something in e-commerce and you don't know where to start, check out Squarespace.

Because it's the place to be from websites, online stores, marketing tools, analytics, Squarespace is the all-in-one platform to build a beautiful presence online and run your business.

So I have built many websites in my day.

I think you all forget I started this thing as a blog.

I I was a blogger back in the day.

And I've used a lot of platforms to build websites because I'm not an engineer and I don't have a background in like computer science or coding.

And Squarespace makes it so easy.

Like you will get a website that looks professional, that has all the professional tools that the real pros have, but you really, you know, didn't try that hard.

Squarespace did the whole thing for you.

They have gorgeous templates.

They have great tools for e-commerce, great tools for analytics, great tools for engaging your social media and bringing that content onto your website or promoting your social media for whatever purpose you're using the website for.

And of course, we have a code.

When you go to squarespace.com slash toast, you'll get a free trial.

And then when you're ready to launch, use the offer code Toast to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain.

So again, that's squarespace.com slash T-O-A-S-T.

You get a free trial.

And then once you're ready to launch, you can use the code Toast to save 10% on your first purchase of a website or a domain.

They can help you with everything soup to nuts, start to finish on starting a website.

And it's really the place to be.

So make sure you're heading to squarespace.com slash toast for your free trial.

And then use code toast when you're ready to shop.

Some wedding bells.

I don't know if you saw American hero Olympic gymnast Simone Biles got married.

I did.

And she wore a dress that was $120 and her shoes were $35.

Right.

Right.

So do you want me to comment on that?

I will.

Let me give you the details and then I'd like your take.

Thank you.

So Olympic gymnast Simone Biles announced her wedding to the Houston Texans player Jonathan Owens on Saturday and she shared some couple some pictures of the gorgeous couple on Instagram.

So she wore a dress with four tears.

It had ruffles and she shared on her Instagram story that her beautiful gown was from an online boutique called Selfie Leslie and it retails for $120.

She also shared that her shoes were from Amazon and they cost $35.

Now,

this could never be me.

Especially if I'm a, you know, a world-renowned Olympic gymnast, someone bios probably has so much money.

She's sober and safe.

She's an American legend, like Weedies, you know, the whole thing.

So that could never be me.

But it is important to note, this was her courthouse.

She does have a big wedding coming up.

Okay.

And if you knew what I wore to my courthouse wedding, you would be like, Claudia, shut up.

You can't say anything.

What?

So the morning of, I knew I wanted to like wear like a really kind of like funny, um funny.

Yeah, I like always have to be funny.

It's so annoying.

I wanted to like go to a costume store and buy, and I got married in September, so like all those Halloween spirits pop-ups were open.

And I wanted like a very much giving Katie Heron energy at

Aaron Samuel's Halloween party where she dresses.

So I wanted like a big kind of funny satirical wedding dress.

Not with blood and shit.

No, well, that wasn't the goal.

Okay, okay.

But I went to Spirit Halloween the morning of, and I thought there would be like a million wedding dresses.

I don't know why I thought that, and there weren't.

There were just ghost wedding dresses.

So I did end up dressing as like an apocalyptic bride.

It was like this kind of

smoky, very like ripped, very apocalyptic zombie wedding.

And I wore it because it was, I waited till the last minute and it was all that I had.

And the person that, whatever, whatever, put this.

Was marrying me?

Yeah.

Did they say anything?

Um, no, because if you spend any time at City Hall, you know, like the fucking freaks of the century go down there and like do weird shit and stand outside.

And like, I was just one of the many freaks that day.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

So they didn't even bat an eyelash.

Not a single one was bat.

Was Ben dressed up?

No.

Ben came from work and he was wearing like a polo and khakis.

You know who, I don't know how I feel about her, but Emily Radikowski, her little like pant suit that she wore to the courthouse, I thought that was really cool.

She's so chic and cool, and she's like famous and a model and it has a stylist, so it's like not that hard.

Not all of us, I mean, she's not going to spirit Halloween in the morning of the courthouse.

So we're just like different girls in that sense.

But yes, that's a very, you know, who looked so fucking fabulous at their courthouse wedding?

Of course, Jackie Oh.

Jackie Oh.

My sister, not Owen.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Yes.

I don't know what she wore.

She wore this like, but she's always dressed.

She's always stylish, but she wore this like

this white getup, but she on top wore this like really chic pale pink petticoat.

Like, not petticoat, like, I don't know what the right word is, but she looked so, I'll find a picture of her.

A blazer?

No, no, it was like a, like a,

not a floor length, but like a teacup length pink.

I don't know what the right word is because I'm not like a fashion girl, but a really chic coat.

Your sister looks like she could be a Kennedy.

Well, you know what I'm saying?

She could be.

As do you.

But I think it's just the red hair, the way she dresses.

It's her porcelain skin.

The porcelain's skin.

So what do you think about, what do you make of this queen celebrity, rich Olympian, wearing an outfit that costs $155?

So this is how I feel about it.

I'm the same as you.

Could never be me.

However, we all know the saying, it's not what you wear, it's who's wearing it.

Yeah, it's like how you feel.

And Simone Biles, I mean, her body, just her as a person, she can get away with anything.

I'm interested to know why she broadcasted.

She did a QA.

Somebody asked, Where did you get your dress and shoes from?

And she said, Courthouse shoes were from Amazon, not comfortable at all.

Then I changed into a different one.

My dress is from Selfie Leslie.

Everything was ordered this week.

The dress, the wedding, the shoes, the bouquet.

Okay, so that's I wasn't prepared.

That's a little bit of a contradiction there to get your shoes from Amazon and then your dress ethically soars.

Right, right.

I know there's like a little bit of a conflict there with fashion too.

Yeah.

But I don't hate it.

Not you trying to cancel simone biles i'm not trying to cancel simone i'm trying to cancel jeff bezos the one-eyed wonder i'm never trying to cancel jeff bezos i know amazon is like fast fashion and that's not going to stop me from getting 65 deliveries i use i use amazon all the time jeff just bothers me oh i don't know and his girlfriend wife she bothers me too breaking up a happy marriage

um just i i really can't stress how like simone it's so hard to shop you know when you are a woman with you know roles and whatever and she is like quite literally like a body perfected by science.

Like she has a perfect body and she has unlimited, unlimited re-well, not unlimited, but a huge budget.

Yes.

And this, this could just never be me.

And I want to, you know, I want to commend her, but this is what I always say, like Taylor Swift, her song, Paper Rings.

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings.

Like, no, you wouldn't, because neither would I.

Like, when you're rich, like, be rich, bitch.

Like, stop.

Be rich.

So we can look up like and be like, wow.

Once again, though, she has a wedding coming up.

I know.

This is a courthouse.

And again, courthouse real thing, but she did like a whole photo shoot.

So everyone is treating it like a real wedding.

Got it.

Got it.

I mean, again, could not be me.

And if I had that kind of money,

could not be me.

Her husband is rich, too.

I believe he plays in the NFL.

Like, we're all rich.

Like, let's start acting like it.

What do you say?

Yes.

That's why we want to watch you.

Besides the fact that you are an incredible athlete.

Right.

That's definitely part of the allure.

Are you watching Love is Blind?

A little bit.

Okay.

Are you aware of the controversy going on with the hosts?

Vanessa.

And Nick Lachey.

Yes.

So people are really unhappy with them.

I feel like a lot of the criticism is warranted, but it's definitely been blown out of proportion.

And now there are like legitimate rumors circulating in our next story that Lauren Speed Hamilton and Cameron Hamilton, who are a couple who got married on the first season, who everyone is obsessed with and now have like a YouTube channel, whatever, that they might replace Nick and Vanessa Lachey after all the backlash.

Okay,

they, first of all, I feel like their relationship was like completely just a PR relationship.

Who?

Not Vanessa and Nick.

Oh, you think you don't believe in their love?

Not really.

Did you watch a season?

I watched like multiple episodes.

I feel like if you really watched the season in full, you would know how real it is.

You think they're fully involved.

They're so in love.

They're really like perfect for each other.

It's the true definition of like opposites attract.

He's like this nerdy scientist who's really quiet and she's just like effervescent, outgoing.

Yeah, he's a Sherlock.

And she is very much like this outgoing, you know, bubbly, the loud one.

And them together, like perfect match.

Like opposites attract perfection.

Okay.

She's like loves fashion she's very colorful call me in a year from now when they're not together anymore okay i just want to say love is blind first season has has to have been it was during covid three years ago so there's and they're not married a year the show was filmed actually a year prior so they've been married now probably four years okay i take everything i just said back i think you should Okay, fine.

Deal.

You win that one 100%.

So everyone is saying now that like they're going to replace Nick and Vanessa Lachey because like people were hating on Nick and Vanessa for how they acted during the reunion.

It was an unedited live reunion.

I don't think it's really fair to judge someone because we're used to watching like Andy Cohen, blah, blah, blah.

And those are reunions that are filmed for 13 hours and then put into two and a half or three hour episodes.

Right.

So it's not really fair to judge them based on that.

And I thought people were like being, you know, blowing this thing out of proportion, but there is like an insider on Love is Blind who are saying there's always been whispers about replacing them with Lauren and Cameron, especially now after the live reunion special, which was such a disaster on so many levels.

If Netflix wants to keep their ratings up, there has to be a big change.

I don't know.

I don't really believe this insider.

And I'm very here for Cameron and Lauren potentially being the host, but...

Well, because they've lived it.

They've lived it, but like being a host is not all like it's cracked up to be.

It's actually a skill you need to have.

And like just because you were on reality TV and you're an influencer, that actually doesn't make you.

Like Vanessa Lachey is a bona fide host.

Like she was on.

TRL or whatever her life, her former life was.

Explain to me just very quickly what exactly people are upset about.

She just, she like, she was acting like an animal on the reunion.

Like drunk, right?

What do you mean like an animal?

So point of being like a moderator and a host is like you really have to be impartial You have to ask questions that push the the needle on both sides and she just felt like she came in with this like fucking vendetta and she was like going after people and it felt really personal She actually sent flowers to one of the contestants who she was like really hard on for like seemingly no reason and her job is to be hard on everyone but she was definitely taking sides.

She was just saying some like weird fucking out-of-pocket shit.

And she was actually gonna give me an example, please okay she was like they showed this video they showed this video of jackie and josh who are this couple but jackie was actually engaged to marshall okay marshall was sitting at the reunion and she was like rubbing in his face all the things that like this new couple his old fiancé and her new boyfriend were talking about and it just felt like she was like trying to get him to cry like she fixated on him yeah she was just she went through that with everyone she would like fixate on someone for 20 minutes and like ask so many questions be like well why'd you do that and it's like another example this guy micah didn't want to, sorry, this guy, Paul, didn't really want to

date this girl, Micah, anymore, because he didn't really feel like she had like this nurturing sort of maternal energy that he was looking for.

And that's kind of like a mean thing to say.

So he didn't say it to her, but it ended up that being the reason.

And he was, she was like, well, why didn't you tell Micah that?

He said, well, I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

Like, you can break up with someone and not like share everything that was wrong with them.

You don't want to hurt their feelings.

You're breaking up with them.

She just wouldn't let certain things go.

And she was also just acting crazy.

Acting insane.

Yeah.

So this is, this was unedited.

Is that where you're seeing?

Did you not hear about this whole big Netflix live thing?

Kind of.

And I heard that she was like...

So at 9 p.m.

on Sunday, like two weeks ago, they're like, we're doing a live reunion, which is like crazy.

Is it actually live?

That's what I want to know.

Well, it was supposed to be.

Nine o'clock happens, 9.15, 9.30.

Nothing's happening.

Netflix like crashed.

They're tweeting, oh, we'll be up in 15 minutes.

We'll be up in 15 minutes.

Then they ended up not even doing it.

They just filmed it and then put it up for everyone the next day.

But it was live.

And some people were able to watch it live very few people i actually weirdly was my netflix was letting me watch it live but most of america and you know the world was not able to watch it live so the episode that came out the following day which was the same episode was that one edited people said it was okay but it really wasn't i saw i saw the raw thing she was she really was acting crazy i just i just thought she didn't do a good job Did she?

Okay, so it wasn't like under the influence.

It wasn't she wasn't drunk.

She wasn't drunk.

Is that what you read?

I mean,

I think I did read that somewhere.

And also when I just hear someone acting completely bizarro, I think there's like substances involved.

I know.

I feel like Nick and Vanessa are really grounded in terms of like Hollywood.

I'm sorry.

I have been scrolling TikTok lately.

I don't know what fucking trend is happening, but all of the scenes of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson from what was their show?

Oh, Newlyweds.

Has your TikTok?

TikTok been blowing up with that shit?

It hasn't been blowing up, but I've always been targeted with that kind of content.

But by the way, your TikTok is blowing up because you keep watching and engaging with the videos.

So the algorithm thinks you like it and they keep giving you more.

Right.

So if you don't know what's going on, I went down a fucking rapper hole.

I watched like 50.

Did you watch that show when it was like on back in the day?

I did.

I remember like her asking, oh my god, it's the chicken of the tea is actually chicken.

I do remember bits and pieces,

but we were younger.

We were young.

And I watched it because I've loved Jessica Simpson and I always have, but I don't remember a lot of the content.

So whenever I get served clips, I always watch it.

Okay, Nick Lachey, borderline a fucking asshole.

Did you read Jessica Simpson's book?

I did not.

Okay, if you're into celebrity memoirs, it's amazing.

Every time I have a guest co-host, I literally just try and spend the episode convincing them to read this book.

A lot of it is about her marriage, and he was a prick.

I mean, you can tell by the clips.

Especially

during that time, it was this weird transition where like when they started dating, he was much more famous than her, 98 Degrees.

And then when they got married and they were living in that house, she was never in the house because she was so busy and like 98 Degrees was like kind of flopping.

And he was going through this fucking crisis and he was so jealous and he was very competitive.

So that's what we're seeing play out.

That she gave us a lot of context in the book for the show.

That's what we're seeing.

He was having like an identity crisis while his wife was like reaching new limits that he never, and he was only getting opportunities because he was her husband.

And he was like this egotist.

And it was

decorating the house behind her back to regain his power.

Decorating the house was like this.

huge storyline in that show.

It's so funny.

She was like, how can I decorate this house?

I'm never here.

And that was a source of contention.

He was like, Well, you're never here because you're busy and I'm not.

What a pussy.

I know he could not support a successful woman.

So maybe he did some shit to Vanessa.

100%.

I'm leaving all of this on fucking Nick.

I think that's a really fair and safe assumption.

I hate him.

How old is he?

They're old.

They're like 40.

I like how I say they're old.

It's like nothing.

I want them to come back together 98 degrees.

Oh, I thought you were going to say Nick and Jessica.

No.

What is the 98 Degrees' song?

I want, I was just thinking to look it up.

Like, I want to pull up Spotify.

Yeah, because I feel like they're such a recognizable band in terms of their name.

Why do I want to say it?

Sometimes I run.

I feel like that's in sync.

Sometimes I have.

Sometimes.

No, I feel like that's that's Britney Spears.

Wait.

When all I

want is to hold you tight, treat you with

you today

and night.

Actually, I think maybe

you have a beautiful voice that I've never seen.

No, I'm never singing along with you ever again.

Oh, I have like an amazing voice.

Incredible.

Okay, the number one.

Show on the masked, the masked singer.

You know, one time I submitted, they asked me to submit like an audition because, like, they're always.

I did.

Are you kidding me?

I literally sat in my bedroom and was like, Henda,

yeah.

Like, I really put my whole pussy in it and I never heard back.

Your voice is insane.

Their number one song is, I do cherish you.

Let's see.

Oh, yeah.

It's beyond my control.

He was so hot.

Hot take.

Nicola Che doesn't really have a good voice.

No, but he was.

He is the reason why in middle school I shaved my armpits.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Were you one of those girls who would go to like a Jonas Brothers or like a 98 degrees concert and like shave your vagina because you thought maybe like it would be the night you lost your virginity?

Yes.

It was All American Rejects.

Oh, was that your band of choice?

And Fallout Boy.

I loved the music from All American.

Were you like an emo kid?

Of 1,000% rejection.

Are you?

Oh, beyond like so secondhand serenade.

What does that even mean?

The band.

Secondhand serenade, I don't know.

Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you.

Oh, my God.

Yes, yes, yes.

I think it's like a song about suicide, which was actually really dark.

Think about the music we listen to.

Do you know the song Jumper from Semi-Charmed Kind of Life?

No, from Third Eye Blind.

I love...

Wait, what is the song called?

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend.

I was like rocking out to that on the latest one.

It's definitely about suicide.

Yeah, all the songs are about suicide.

Why were we singing that?

Why is it so poppy and like upbeat?

Because that was like the punk movement, you know?

Very interesting.

I was very much like an emo kid, Fallout Boy.

Like, I was obsessed.

I also liked John Mayer also.

My Chemical Romance.

Oh, my God.

Ben is obsessed with My Chemical Romance.

Did you see that Good Charlotte performed at Sophia Richie's after party at her wedding?

I did.

I did.

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.

But I wouldn't have wanted that song.

I know, but what is Good Charlotte's number one song?

I don't know.

That's like their best song.

I don't know what it is, but I just, that song, I think, started to just be playing too much on the radio.

It's also weird for like all these rich and famous people to be like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, they're number one.

Oh, this is the anthem.

Throw all your hands up.

Yay!

I mean, maybe I don't love Good Charlotte, but like, that's, I would die to have Good Charlotte.

Just like looped in with like the All-American Rejects.

Like, that whole.

Yes.

I'll keep you, my dirty little song.

That was my genre of choice.

I loved that.

Okay, so I'm over Love is Blind.

Honestly, I feel like we've been talking about it so much.

I was about to say, I'm going to have Peter Gabriel sing at my wedding.

Even though I'm pretty sure he's 80 and I would have to lifelight him in the

eyes, the light, the heat, your eyes.

I am.

How do you not know about it?

It's a classic.

So that's who you would have sing me down the aisle?

Yeah, but just that one song.

I would have Gwyneth Paltrow sing me down the aisle, singing the original song from Country Strong.

The world tried to break me.

I found a road to take me.

She's like Gwyneth Paltrow.

Yeah.

You never see Country Strong?

No.

I didn't know Gwyneth Paltrow had a voice.

Did you never see Glee?

Mm-mm.

She played substitute teacher Holly Holiday on Glee.

She was like a recurring cameo guest character.

She was amazing.

She actually can sing.

And she sang, she did a musical.

Country Strong is basically like the, they made a country version of A Star Is Born.

It's like kind of the whole same concept.

Oh.

And she plays Kelly Canner, who's this like big Reba type, like huge, who's really struggling.

And she falls in love with this young guitarist.

And there's this new hot country artist on the scene, Leighton Meester.

Love hers.

It's an amazing song with an original soundtrack.

Love that.

And the final song before spoiler alert, Gwyneth Paltrow kills herself, is

it's called Home.

Coming home.

It's such a beautiful song.

And she sings it on the soundtrack.

Okay, and what is this movie called?

Country Strong.

I'm going to go home and watch it.

You have to watch it.

And fun fact, I actually performed it and sang it at Jackie's wedding.

You're lying.

No, Jackie wanted me to sing it for her mother-daughter dance, and I sang it.

And it was like one of the highlights of my life.

And then I watched the videographer footage, and I sounded so fucking horrible.

I like actually apologized to Jackie for ruining her wedding.

The thing is, she had me sing after dessert, and I was like black out by then, so I don't even know what went down.

Did you have stage fright at all?

No, no, you just weren't coherent.

It was friends and family.

I wasn't coherent.

You pulled a Vanessa.

And

I was literally like thinking, am I not going to drink?

Because they came up to me when we all got into the reception room.

The wedding planner was like, you're going after dessert.

I'm like, after dessert, that's in like two fucking hours.

I'm like, I'm not going to not drink at my sister's wedding.

So it was just balls to the wall.

And so that was not your best performance.

No.

Yeah, I went to a wedding and the groom played the violin.

That's so sweet.

And it was the cringiest

thing ever.

At what point?

Down the aisle?

It's one thing to not have a great voice.

It is another thing to butcher the violin and be like, and like wait before the wedding like during the ceremony before she walked down the aisle oh that's like weird too because like the ceremony is really about the bride so to like make it about you that's a little cringe yeah and he had left the ring in the like in the hotel

but also rich as fuck so like it didn't really matter and is there any chance these people are gonna hear this because you know everyone on the planet listens to the toast um i wasn't thinking about that but i didn't name names stand by what you said that's always my defense if i don't name names then i feel like it's free game.

If you don't name names, you can't be sued.

That's what I'm saying.

That's a really good man.

And if someone, and this has happened to me and I got in a lot of trouble, I even had like a couple sponsors pulled out.

This is the very beginning of Sophie of the Nef, okay?

And I don't know why I'm re-bringing it up so I lose them again.

But I told this story about someone, did not name names, didn't really give that much info away.

But, you know, my listeners, they figure it out.

They work for the FBI.

They figure it out.

And then this said person decided to go on a TikTok rampaid.

And Rampage?

Rampage.

Rampage.

Yeah.

And made a four-part TikTok as to how I'm the worst human being on planet Earth.

You're absolutely going to have to tell me after who this one is.

I will, but also, you wanted that attention, right?

Yeah, of course.

Because no one, you know, like you got a few DMs.

Right.

Like, you could have let it just die.

Yeah.

If you were that affected by it, you already made it.

I know what this is.

I know what it is.

I know.

Let's just, you know what?

We'll just.

I remember seeing the four-part takedown of Sophia with an F regarding the library book.

Yes.

No, it wasn't a library book.

It was my fucking diary.

Okay.

That she had written.

Oh, then I'm thinking of something else.

I'm thinking of someone from your hometown.

No, that's her.

No, that's who it was.

Okay.

That's who it was.

Wow, that was a crazy time.

I remember hacking.

But I did take out the stuff I said.

Yeah, let's say the best.

That's a crazy thing to lose sponsors over.

Like, that's moronic.

I didn't say her fucking name.

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

It's okay.

Today's episode is brought to you by Article.

Summer is on its way, and if you've been dreaming up your outdoor space and how to make the most of it, you got to check out Article because the best thing about summer is getting to do all your favorite indoor things, but outside.

Having meals, watching movies, falling asleep on the couch.

And Article's curated a catalog of outdoor furniture is here to help you do all your favorite things this summer.

They've got everything you need to make really beautiful things and make it your own with your outdoor sofa, outdoor dining set, outdoor decor.

Jackie's outdoor space is like really coming along since she moved.

She got so many sickening pieces from Article, and it's really becoming my favorite place to spend time in her house.

So, Article believes in delightful design for every home.

And thanks to their online-only model, they have some really delightful prices too.

It's very true because outdoor furniture, like people are getting out of control, out of control, not Article.

Their curated assortment of mid-century modern, coastal, industrial, scandy, and boho designs make furniture shopping simple.

Article's team of designers are all about finding the perfect balance between style, quality, and price.

They're dedicated to thoughtful craftsmanship that stands the test of time and looks good doing it.

They also order, they offer, excuse me, fast, affordable shipping across the US and Canada.

They won't leave you waiting around.

You pick the delivery time, they'll send you updates every step of the way.

I will say with Jackie, and I've ordered from Article before, but especially the outdoor furniture for Jackie.

My God, what a difference to all these other websites.

Article is like so communicative, so on time.

The wait times are not crazy, and there's no middleman.

It's like you're just buying directly from article, and it's fabulous.

It's so easy.

So they're offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.

So if you want to claim that, go to article.com slash toast and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout.

That's article.com slash toast for $50 off your purchase of $100 or more.

Today's episode is brought to you by Noom.

Trends and fads come and go, especially when it comes to health and wellness, but Noom is not a fad.

They use psychology, not trends, to help you make intentional and sustainable choices that are aligned with your values and your weight loss goals.

So Noom is different because it's a psychology-based approach.

With their psychology-based approach, Noom is empowering you to build more sustainable habits and behaviors.

So this isn't just like a trend or a diet.

It's something that you can really implement throughout the rest of your life.

What I really like about Noom, though, it's like because it's a psychology-based approach, they understand like some days are just harder than others.

Some days you're going to slip up and it doesn't derail all of your progress just to have a bad day.

Like Noom accounts for that and you just get back on track the next day and you don't have to feel bad about it and start spiraling.

Everyone's journey is different, so the daily lessons you get from Noom are going to be personalized to you and your goals.

And it's not restrictive, it's nourishing.

So, whatever your health goals are, you know, some people want to just feel better, some people want to drop a certain amount of pounds, some people want to fit into an item of clothing, whatever your goal is, the flexible program focuses on progress instead of perfection.

You'll choose your level of support from five-minute daily check-ins to personal coaching.

Progress is rarely a straight line.

Days off are totally okay.

Noom will just help you get back on track.

The first-time noomers are losing an average of 15 pounds after being active in the program for 16 weeks, and 95% of customers say

Noom is a good long-term solution.

So stop chasing health trends and build sustainable, healthy habits with Noom's psychology-based approach.

Sign up for your trial today at noom.com slash toast.

That's n-o-o-m.com slash toast to sign up for your trial.

They also have a new book, The Noom Mindset.

It's a deep dive into the psychology of behavior change, and it's available to buy wherever you buy books if that's something you're interested in.

I love to always pick a story about the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City when you're here because I know you're from Salt Lake and like I just like to get your take on things.

Jen Ja's husband, Sharif, was offered an appearance on this new season of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City to talk about, you know, everything that's been going on, like do it like a like

a guy's night or whatever.

And he has turned down he does not want to be on the show and he declined the

offer because

him and Jen were not happy with the way the network treated Jen after her sentencing.

And I don't know what exactly they're referring to, but Jen said in December 2022 that she would not attend the Salt Lake City reunion under legal advice.

But she also claimed that Bravo found this unsatisfactory and they expected her to discuss the storyline.

So Bravo was mad at her for not showing up to the reunion, even though she said she was doing it because it was in her best legal interest.

And then the following month, Andy said he hoped for a sit-down interview with Jen Jen Shaw.

He said, this specific one-on-one interview, oh, sorry, Jen said, this specific one-on-one interview was not a part of my Real House Size of Salt Lake City reality TV contract.

And I promised myself and my loving family that I would not allow this portion of my life to be sensationalized or inaccurately conveyed.

She elaborated: I would rather remain silent and wait until I'm able to accurately share my story than continue having to compete with lies and misrepresentations about me smeared across headlines.

I do have to say, I actually respect her for not doing that one-on-one interview because they would have paid her a lot of money, and she needed that money for legal fees and restitution that she had to pay back to her victims.

So, it wasn't the smartest decision because she needs the money.

I think they paid Teresa and Joe when they did that one-on-one interview before they went to jail seven figures.

And they needed that money because they owed like six.

Seven figures?

They owed the government like seven million dollars back then.

So like it helped and it was embarrassing and humiliating, but they had to do it.

See, I see, this would be my thing is I guess the she can't legally, she already got her sentencing.

So right, right.

So she has nothing to lose.

Right.

So at that point, I would fucking take the interview.

Yeah, not only is she turning down the one-on-one interview, which would have been a big payday, a smaller payday would have been Sharif going on and talking.

And so I don't know how they're expecting, there must be in a lot of debt their mom who was like a school not her mom who was like a school teacher had like a million dollars in savings that she saved her whole life like for her grandkids

and she gave it to Jen for her legal fees so like Jen has crazy legal fees she has restitution she has all these expenses and so it's really not smart to like not because

Their income up until this point was Jen's fraudulent business, which she can't do anymore.

Sharif is an assistant football coach for like a small college.

I don't think that's like a lot of money.

So I don't know what her plan is to pay back back these bills.

So I don't know if she should just be turning down these opportunities because these opportunities don't last forever.

People move on.

I don't know because, okay, Billy McFarland was in jail for six years.

Did you have him on your podcast?

I did.

That's crazy.

Very interesting guy.

What was it like in person?

I couldn't tell if what he was saying was genuine or not.

Right, right.

Leaning towards not so much.

I know that's like a true definition of a con artist.

It's like you really never know what they're saying.

Yeah, it was very interesting.

Also, he texted me like a few weeks ago and he's like, I just released this dating app.

Would love for you to like be a part of it or like did it.

And I'm going to say he has to add on a date.

No.

No.

Would you ever?

He has a girlfriend.

Oh, but would you ever, like, just for the press?

Billy McFarlane?

No.

Okay, okay.

No.

But he was in prison.

I'm pretty sure for six years with Mike the Situation.

They crossed paths.

Oh my gosh.

Isn't that crazy?

I, that is the most incredible shit I've ever fucking heard.

That's when like being a fan of pop culture becomes so fun.

And Mike was in there for tax evasion.

Very interesting.

So, Billy McFarlane is, he's chilling right now.

Jen, you don't think Jen six years from now can release a book?

Yeah, she definitely can.

Can be back in the limelight.

Like, I think she can make money.

I think she can too, but it's always good to strike while the iron is hot.

You really never know what's going to be going on in the world in six years.

Like, six years from now, will we really care?

With Teresa, like, she had been on our TV for 10 years.

Like, we were in love with her.

Like, we knew her.

We knew her family.

And she only went away for 15 months.

So we only had to wait like a year and three months for her to release the book and get an interview.

Jen, we've only known for two years.

Jen's going away for seven years?

Like, oh my God.

Will we still care in seven years about a woman we barely know?

I don't know.

Maybe.

It depends how good the fucking book is.

And it depends like what kind of content she's going to be putting out up until then.

Like is she going to be making videos in prison?

Like we have.

How does that whole thing work?

Because I am very confused.

I know Teresa was like posing for photos with her inmates and like selling them to People Magazine when she was in prison.

I don't know how it works, but I do believe when you're like a celebrity and you commit a white-collar crime, you go to like more, it's more of a camp, kind of where like Lori Lachlan and Felicity Huffman went.

They go to special places.

That's where the Christleys are right now.

Right.

So maybe, you know, you can get a visitor with a cell phone.

I don't know.

I also have ended up on prison talk where prisoners in like real maximum security prisons are, you know, doing the renegade in their

cells because a part that's like a big ring in, you know, you sell cigarettes, you sell

like dirty magazines.

They sell cell phones and you could buy a cell phone in prison.

Actually, they say it's very easy to get a cell phone in prison.

Well, Joe Exotic.

Yes.

I'm pretty sure he is selling podcast interviews.

He's like charging people.

Oh, but you can also call.

Yeah, you can call.

You can call an inmate and I guess you can record the phone call and release it as a podcast.

If there's anyone listening to this podcast in prison and wants to come on the toast, while while Jackie's out, maybe I'll get an inmate co-host.

I've actually thought about doing that.

I think it's a brilliant concept for a podcast.

You should start like a pen pal, a pen pal.

You can write to inmates and stuff.

Yes, you can.

I also ended up on a side of TikTok where a lot of the women were talking about how they do like cosmetics and daily hygiene in prison.

And it was actually very interesting how they put on eyeliner and how they made lipstick.

So eyeliner, they would take lead pencils and like dip it in water.

Okay.

And literally make eyeliner out of that.

Would you care about wearing eyeliner if you you were in that?

Not in the slightest.

But I guess to establish a sense of normalcy, a lot of women feel like wearing makeup makes them feel more like a participating member of society.

Yeah, even though they're actually not in prison.

And then for lipstick, they would take like sour candy and like melt the gummy.

It was crazy.

Sometimes they would even take Dorito dust and make it into lipstick.

That, I don't know.

I really think that would be the last thing on my priority list.

Yeah.

It'd be like yummy food.

Yeah.

Maybe drugs, to just like get me.

Just to pass the time.

You know?

Yeah.

Moonshine, they like make alcohol out of like dirty bath water.

Exactly.

Oh, I thought it was toilet water.

You can make wine.

Okay.

I've heard that.

Yeah.

I mean, I learned a lot watching Orange is a New Black.

I've never seen that show.

Oh, it was a good show.

It was.

Yeah.

You don't need to watch like all the seasons.

First one was good.

Okay.

Yeah, so I learned a lot from being on the prison side of TikTok, and it was very interesting.

And I hope Jen Shaw, I don't think the facility Jen Shaw is in requires these types of things because these are for like maximum security prison for like people who do like armed robbery and stuff.

But it was very fascinating to be on that side of TikTok.

That is very fascinating.

I want to look into it.

By the way, I have been arrested three times.

I never went to prison.

I did go to jail.

I feel like I always bring this up with you.

By the way, I forgot the last time you were on the podcast, you told that story, and I need you to repeat it because A, I forgot.

And B, we have like a lot of new listeners.

So

you, you've been arrested and like gone to county, like where they just hold you, right?

So I've been arrested and just thrown in the drunk tank.

Right, right.

And that's was what, two times?

Yes.

Okay.

And then.

And the drunk tank, what do you do?

Do you sleep it off?

You, uh, there's not really a lot of sleeping because it's like a little bit terrifying because it's not just drunk people in the drunk tank.

There's people that are coming off meth.

There are people who, you know, are in there for a whole different host of reasons.

Yes.

But then one time.

And by the way, this probably sounds like I have a huge fucking alcohol problem with my fucking spritz here.

This is Utah where there is no crime happening.

Right.

And they're also really strict about alcohol in Utah.

Because they're very LDI religious.

Which is Mormon.

And so alcohol, me underage, it was like they're looking for you.

Yeah.

So.

You were an easy target.

I was.

So then one of the time, this was the final time because they scared me shitless.

Yeah.

I believe.

I actually got booked in to the jail.

And they were really trying to scare me and teach me a lesson.

And they told me, we have no idea when you're getting out because there's a holiday coming up.

You could be in here for like a week.

Blah blah blah.

And I had to do the jumpsuit, the orange jumpsuit.

I had to do the bend over and cough.

They took out my extensions.

I was very upset about that.

Did you have a cellmate?

Yeah, I had a cellmate.

What was she like?

The most terrifying human being on planet Earth to the point that when I first got into the cell and I was terrified, I was like, oh my God, I have a cellmate.

I thought cellmate.

Like, you know, like, this is like, this is like your partner.

Your partner.

Your partner.

I can confide in this person.

And I said, hey, she was, it was a bunk bed.

You weren't.

And she was, no, she was on the top bunk.

And I said, hey, um, she didn't say anything to me, by the way, when I got in there.

But I said, finally, I was like, hi, I

just wanted to introduce myself.

I'm Sophia, and I'm really, really scared to be in here.

What can I expect?

And I will never forget her response, which was,

it is way better in here than it is out there.

Out there, meaning what?

The world, like outside of jail.

Oh.

So that, I think that, you know,

kind of gives you some background as to where she came from.

Also, she did come crawling down from the top of the bunk.

I only saw her one time because I told her she could eat my food because it was so disgusting.

What was it?

I don't even remember.

But I remember having one bite and I was in shock.

I think it was like white bread with like bologna, but it was crazy.

Yeah, yeah.

Did not taste like bologna.

Just no.

Um, and it was very apparent she was like a meth head, like sores everywhere, this big.

Uh,

she kind of sandwiched more than you did, she did, she did, and then she just crawled back up and never spoke to me.

That's so, like, you have lived so many lives.

Like, that was some crazy shit.

That was a really crazy time in my life.

And so, you have like a record, technically?

I got it expunged a couple years ago.

Does that mean you can vote?

I can vote.

You can.

I can't get into, I can't get fucking global entry.

You told me that you can't get global entry, but so how can you vote?

I, they're two different, I don't know, I'm a flight risk if I'm traveling internationally.

Is there anything else you can't do?

Because

okay, that's good.

So you were a minor when it happened?

So that's why they expunged shit.

One of them, so two of them were, I was under 18.

One of them, I think I was 20.

Got it.

I was turning 21 the next day.

How fucked up is that?

Oh, that's tough.

It was your 21st birthday.

Wow.

What a life you have lived.

Yeah.

Moving on.

Megan Traynor is telling us things we don't want to know on her podcast.

And I think she's just trying to

put out some sort of deflectors because she's getting canceled right now for something she said about teachers.

Did you hear about this?

About teachers?

Yeah, she basically was like going on a rant about school on her podcast and she said, fuck teachers.

And every teacher is like, oh my God, how could you say that?

And so now she's putting out dumb press like this.

She's telling everyone she can't walk after nightmare sex with her big boy husband.

Her words, not mine.

The singer on her working on it podcast told listeners that intercourse is so painful with her, quote, big boy husband.

She said she can't walk afterwards.

She admitted that she wishes she could make her husband smaller.

She said, it's to the point where I'm like, is it all in?

And he says, just the tip.

And I'm like, no, I can't do it anymore.

I don't know how to fix that, she said.

She also let everyone know she's been diagnosed with vaginismus, which is defined as involuntary tensing of the vagina.

So that's what's going on with Megan Trainer.

Do you think this is completely made up?

Why?

Because she wants everyone to think her husband has a big dick.

Yeah.

And just for views and attention.

Yeah, I could definitely see her husband having a big dick.

Like, you never know.

It's always the unsuspecting ones.

Judy from Spy Kids.

Yeah, sure, he has a big dick.

I just feel, and I feel really strongly about this.

Like, some things are okay to keep to yourself.

So, Claudia, if you remember, we were at a Spritz Center.

I was sitting next to you, and I I showed you a picture of the guy, this guy that I was dating at the time, his penis.

You did.

And

looking back, I think that's a very good sign that you don't really like that person to be sharing that kind of information with other people.

Oh my God, that's a really good point.

It's for real.

Like,

you want to keep that to yourself.

Yes.

You're so right, because I would never say something about this, like, about bands.

Exactly.

Because it's so intimate, especially when it's like a relationship or you're married.

Like, that's such a good point.

So it showed like like how much lack of respect I had in that relationship.

And Megan is doing the same thing here.

Oh, my God.

Look at you.

That is like a really good point.

I mean, therapy.

Yeah, because it's one thing to like hype him up and be like, he has a big dick, but like, you're also saying, like, just sharing intimate parts of your personal life and your sex life, that really is nobody's business.

Right.

Also, her vagina will just tense up.

Yeah, she has vaginismus.

Vaginismus.

Involuntary tensing of the vagina.

I wish her mouth had that.

Ah!

well, she is like not having a good week.

And it's clear that like her publicists are putting this out to kind of, you know, fuck with her SEO because she is getting fucking dragged.

Because the teacher commented?

Yeah, the teacher is not a group you want to fuck with on the internet.

I have been there before, and I just want to say I respect and love teachers, but I do stand by what I said at the time.

Which was?

Which was this.

And I don't want to bring it up, but like.

Don't worry, bring up all this shit that like

story.

You know, Rhys Witherspoon has a brand called Draper James.

And they did this really nice thing for like National Teachers Day where she was like, go to the link in our bio and apply and give us your credentials.

And we're sending all the teachers free dresses.

Okay.

And they said that they were going to do like maybe a thousand teachers or whatever.

And the post went viral and every teacher in America wanted a dress because it's really cute dresses, perfect for teaching.

And like millions of teachers applied.

And of course, it's a small brand.

They can't give away millions.

So they said like, oh, we've been overwhelmed.

Like, sorry, we can't give out to everyone, but we're doing as many as we can.

And the teachers got so mad.

And I just said it when we were recapping the the story on the toast.

I'm like, all right, well, you know what?

She's trying to do a nice thing.

Like, sucks that, like, maybe the wording was confusing and everyone thought they were getting a free dress, but like, you're not.

And, like, calm down.

Oh, the teachers fucking came for me that I didn't have their back.

And I love teachers.

I respect teachers.

I raise money for teachers every year on

Amazon.

Like, I love teachers, but I was just saying, I thought the teachers were being like a little out of control.

It's a dress.

It's a dress.

It's a fucking dress.

So then Trisha Paytas made the mistake.

She obviously didn't learn from my mistakes.

You do not fuck with the teachers.

Okay, so that is one group we do not keep that in mind.

Keep that in mind.

I'm going to.

And Disney stars.

Disney.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Why am I doing this to myself?

Okay, continue.

So Megan Traynor can't have sex with her husband.

But she has a baby, so she's obviously doing, she has one on the way, too.

Well, thank God she had a C-section crack.

Oh, yeah.

Because of her bad genus.

I guess because her baby would come out like what?

Toothpaste?

Because she would be tensing.

Right.

Because her vagina is this small.

You would have to just.

I don't know if her vagina is small.

Husband's penis is just so big.

I'm just saying, thank God for this.

See, like, now we're talking about this when we shouldn't be, but it's because she opened the door.

You know?

Well, I talk about this stuff on my podcast, open the door.

But you weren't talking about this if she didn't bring it up.

No, but I wouldn't be talking about Megan Traynor.

I like her as a person.

Her music, it just, again, played way too many times on the radio.

I happen to like her music, but I hear what you're saying.

It's not for everyone.

All right, fifth and final story is the latest in the fast food industry because we just have to talk about food on the show.

Wendy's is is starting a new revenue stream, and they're going to be selling their famous chili, but in a can now, and it's going to be in grocery stores.

So, their famous chili is typically sold hot at restaurants, but soon they're going to sell it canned from a grocery store.

So, they're partnering up with like a big conglomerate to bring the beloved chili into homes across the country.

It'll be a can for $4.49, which is like kind of a lot for a can, and it'll be hitting shelves this spring.

Okay.

So, when I think of Wendy's, the chili is not my,

you know, what I think of.

Me neither, but that's because I don't eat chili from Wendy's.

But I think for a lot of people, it is what they think of.

I think about their chili sauce.

Oh, maybe that's a good idea.

Which is the most insane.

It's incredible.

I don't know how to explain it.

They just.

It's like in a packet.

Oh.

And it's their own chili Wendy's sauce.

And it's incredible to the point that, like, I remember one time, this is when I was living in Utah, so it was a little bit different.

I called my Uber Eats driver to confirm that he would get it.

I called the Wendy's that he was going to to make sure it was.

To confirm that they would put it in the bag.

Yeah.

They didn't.

But it's really good.

So now that they're like moving into grocery, maybe they'll now be doing like Chick-fil-A sells their famous sauces like in the condiments aisle.

Maybe now this is their foray into selling their chili sauce or any other famous sauces in the condiments aisle.

Just

chili and a can.

I know.

I didn't know canned chili was a thing, but then I thought maybe I'm just uneducated because I make my chili fresh.

I don't really, I'm not a real chili person.

My mom's never made chili once in her life.

No, my husband like made me fall in love with it.

He makes the best chili.

And I don't know if you know, like, kind of a core tenant of the toast is chili.

We talk about chili every day.

Okay.

So I fucking love chili.

I love chili.

You should come to my house and have Ben's chili.

I want to.

It's the best belly.

It will change me.

It will change you.

And I don't like beans.

I don't even really like it.

That's chili.

I literally, Ben makes a that and I freeze it and I eat it for months, like all through the winter.

Okay, well, now I'm excited.

I want to try it.

It's so good.

So maybe we should give this Wendy's chili a try.

Wendy's chili is known to be very good.

I don't know how it's going to translate in a can.

Yeah.

I want to know Ben's perspective on Wendy, on Wendy's chili.

I don't think Ben's ever had it because we keep kosher for the most part.

Right.

But I feel like there was a time in Ben's life where he was like very relaxed with the laws of koshroot.

And I wonder if you ever had it.

He's not a chili, like a fast food chili guy.

He's a very much like a Subway Jimmy John's, you know, sandwich type of guy.

He's he's going for a turkey italian sub me too really i'm a sandwich girl what are you

i hate subs like i don't eat any of them what are your um thoughts what do you think is the best sub chain subway subway jimmy john's what's the other one everyone always goes to um jersey mics jersey mics

i feel like there's other ones but i like subway

love subway what do you think about the smell in the restaurants it reminds me of my childhood oh that's sweet okay i love it Okay.

I love it.

All right.

Those were the fast five stories.

You certainly didn't need to know any of them.

But we're not done because it's Wednesday and that's where we dole out interesting advice for interesting people and we do our best to help them.

Okay, great.

So we have three submissions from three different girlies in need.

If you guys want to write in, remember the email account is deartoasters at gmail.com and keep it brief because some of you guys are just writing in things that are too long and we can't read them.

Today's episode is brought to you by Primale Pure.

If you want to have your healthiest year yet and become the most vibrant version of yourself, start here, cleaning up your skincare products.

Swapping for for natural options is a must if you want to feel good and glow from the inside out.

And Prime Leap Pure has harnessed the power of natural ingredients in their complete line of non-toxic beauty products.

So from skin, body, baby, hair, and home, and you can't forget their cult following natural deodorant, Primal Leaply Pure products are handcrafted with real raw ingredients to optimize your results and your overall health.

So Jackie, of course, is on her health journey, and we both became obsessed with Primal LePure because Jackie started using their deodorant during pregnancy and then after pregnancy.

And then we just fell in love with the brand and started using so many of their products.

And now we're so excited to be partnering with them.

And if you look at their Instagram, there are crazy testimonials.

And it's proof that their pure ingredients really do create positive change in your skin.

You won't believe the before and after photos and the transformation stories from their community across the world.

So they handcraft their natural skincare, they create educational content, and they cultivate intentional community.

And they offer organic facials at their holistic spa.

Primally Pure exists to help empower you to not only improve your skin, but to lead a healthier, more fulfilling life.

So if you're on the fence about making the swap to non-toxic products, especially natural deodorant, check out their five-star reviews at primallypure.com.

You'll see it from just from customers like you.

And then once you're convinced, use code toast for 15% off your PrimalePure purchase.

That's www.p-r-i-m-a-l-l-y-p-u-r-e.com slash toast.

Use code toast at checkout for 15% off your order.

All right, ready?

I feel like you'll be able to help with this one a lot because honestly, I don't know what to say.

Hi, ladies.

I'm in desperate need of just some honest and anonymous advice.

I'm a girl.

I'm engaged to a guy.

We've been together for almost a decade.

He's my best friend.

We've been planning our wedding for the next fall.

We are so excited.

We're both in our 20s.

Recently, I've had somewhat of a self-discovery.

I made a new friend who's another girl, and I think I realized I want to experiment sex with a woman.

I truly don't see myself ever being in a romantic relationship with a woman, but it's like the secret desire I've always had.

I've always watched lesbian porn.

Is that normal?

Do I talk to my fiancé about it?

He's always been so supportive of legitimately everything, but I'm scared to hurt him by being this honest.

What should I do?

Okay, A,

you liking lesbian porn and not you, Claudia, this person I wrote in,

is completely normal.

I have heard that.

It has nothing to do with your preference, your sexual preference in reality.

Yes, I landed on a side of TikTok about lesbian porn.

Don't ask.

That's how I know everything.

And they said that it's very common for straight women to like lesbian porn because lesbian porn fixates on the female experience in sex when like heteroporn is just like big dicks like you know exactly it's not really about the woman yes and you assume the woman knows what to do to the other woman right I personally watch lesbian porn when I watch porn usually thank you for sharing thank you um the second thing she wants to experiment but she's engaged yeah and she's afraid like admitting to her fiancé that like she is potentially interested in a woman will like scare him.

He won't be supportive.

But I also feel like, you know, it also could be a slippery slope.

Like,

I think being interested in a woman, if you do it and experiment, it could be something you just want to get out of your system and try, or it could be, you know, your new lifestyle.

So, I need to know how strong the urge is.

It's if she's writing into us, it's strong.

It's very, very strong.

Yeah, I would be upfront and honest with your fiancé.

Because ideally, like, maybe he'd be down.

And, like, in an ideal scenario, like, it would be a threesome.

Yeah.

Right?

And obviously, this is my toxic advice that I like to give along with the healthy.

Just downplay the hell out of it.

Okay.

Babe, every single girl goes through this.

Like, you know, I should have gone through it in college, but I didn't.

Obviously, I'm not really, I just, it's something I want to try.

I love you.

I'm obviously marrying you.

Just downplay it.

Yeah, but I do think you should like kind of explore it because you don't have regrets getting married.

Like, this is an important time.

I think you should lean in.

Yes, I agree.

Have you had an experimental phase?

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

100%.

When?

In college?

You have to answer if you don't want to.

Sorry.

No.

No, because that's like a rude question.

Excuse me, my podcast.

Open book.

College, yes.

I've hooked up with actually a few women.

I would consider myself straight.

Okay.

It was just like a fun thing.

Got it.

I don't know.

I do consider myself straight.

I want a husband.

Yeah, but I think like sexuality is like so fluid.

Like

it really is.

I don't feel like you even need to like label it.

Like I'm not, I'm not.

No, I don't.

But I sometimes think about it, you know?

Right.

But like when it comes to dating, you're not dating men.

I mean, excuse me, women.

Got it.

I don't actively seek that.

Right.

Like on Hinge, it's just for guys.

Exactly.

Interesting.

All right.

I think we gave you some good advice.

Tread lightly, but go for it.

You regret it if you don't.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, guys.

Love the show.

Thanks for bringing so much joy to my daily commute.

You're welcome.

Here's the situation.

I'm a teacher, and I need some help on how to navigate a situation with my coworker.

Every time she's on her period, not only does she announce it to us, but she leaves blood on the surfaces in the communal bathroom.

She leaves blood on the toilet, in the sink, sometimes on the floor.

She's told us that she uses a menstrual cup, so blood in the sink makes sense to an extent.

How the hell do I approach this with her?

There's only three of us that are in that bathroom, and I've already checked with my other longtime coworker, so I know it's not her.

I barely know this woman, and I don't want to offend her, but I'm also not trying to clean up after a 35-year-old woman's blood every month when I need to pay.

Any help you can provide would be great.

You know, I always say this with dear toasters because sometimes it's okay, and it's the right situation for an anonymous letter.

An anonymous letter to her.

Maybe, like, make a memo about the women's bathroom.

Like, maybe, okay, I got it.

Make a memo that, like, claims it's from the janitorial staff.

Yes, I was going to say the school administration and be like, please, ladies, on their periods, please clean up after yourselves.

We have found blood on this.

And while, you know, we are happy to clean the facilities, this is not a part of our job discourse.

Like, write a fancy memo and tape it to the back of the stall door.

That's problem solved.

I love that.

Do you think there's any way that they could get in trouble?

No.

By asking that?

No.

Like, don't leave your blood.

Just

stay around.

By the way, make a fake memo.

Yeah.

Leave it up for one day so that she sees it.

Mm-hmm.

And then take it, take it out.

You know, she's going to rip that flyer off, go running out and be like, what kind of bullshit is this?

Really?

By the way, if she...

If being told to clean up after her fucking period is going to trigger her, then this woman has other problems.

And honestly, it's better to know about them now.

Have you ever used a menstrual clean?

Never.

Have you?

No.

I'm a tampon for life.

Me?

I want to try it.

The diva cup?

Like the menstrual cup?

Yes.

Because one time I had a tampon stuck inside of me for a month that I was not aware of.

And because you just forgot it or it got stuck?

No.

I forgot.

I have no idea how it happened.

And then I thought maybe I had like a yeast infection or something.

Right, because it was problematic to me.

And I went and

it was the craziest thing.

All of a sudden, she pulled something out of my vagina and I said, what the fuck was that?

And she said, it was a tampon.

So when she pulled it out, did you look at it?

I didn't.

I didn't look at it.

What does it look like?

What did you say on my back?

Okay, but did you see what it looked like?

What does a tampon look like after it's been up your vagina for a month?

I think it,

like, it's not like it like disintegrates.

It just, like, I'm just curious.

I think it was just like.

taking a regular tampon out.

And you know how lucky you are, you didn't get like toxic choctins or muscles.

Yes.

Yes.

That's crazy.

So tampons do kind of scare me now.

There is an element about tampons.

Like growing up, I was not allowed to wear a tampon and then like in high school I was like, bitch, I'm sorry.

I need a tampon.

And we like used to hide them from our mom.

I mean like she still hates that we wear them but like we're adults now so we get to do what we want.

But there is like a it's not for no reason.

Like a lot there is like a lot of crazy shit about tampons.

TSS.

And I'm sure more things will start come out.

I know.

That's what happens.

Like we all start using something and then like years later it's like wait that was really bad.

I know.

But this what am I supposed to use a pad?

Well this menstrual cup, what I have to bleed like on your couch right now?

No, and like, do you you know what?

Like, I'm supposed to shove that whole thing up my vagina.

They look crazy.

They look, and I know they're like silicone, so they like fold into like basically the size of a tampon.

But until I find something that is as convenient at, and by the way, I'm supposed to put all my fingers on my vagina.

Okay, Megan Trainer.

You're so right, you're calling me out.

Okay, moving on.

Make sure.

Anonymous.

Why is mine just so tiny?

Anonymous letter.

Anonymous letter.

Moving on.

Thank you, Sophia, for calling me out.

Ready?

Yes.

Okay, this one's fucking weird.

Okay, here's the background information she sent us.

I'm a first-time soon-to-be mom.

I'm 30.

My boyfriend of two years is 29.

We live together, and he's always been a PJOM.

PJOM means precious gem of a man.

Precious gem of a man.

P-G-O-M.

Okay, golly.

And a woman is a PJL.

Okay.

I just found out that my boyfriend, who I'm about to have a baby with, secretly applied to be a sperm donor two weeks ago.

I saw the application in his email.

We do not come for money.

We often struggle financially, but we work really hard, which is why money is the only reason I can fathom this justification.

However, I'm so sad.

My trust feels broken and I can't even process.

I need advice on what to do and or how to bring it up.

Am I blowing this up or is this grounds for breaking up?

He doesn't know I found out yet.

Love you guys.

Thank you so much.

Sincerely, a sad and confused soon-to-be mom.

That's fucking heartbreaking.

And honestly, you're not blowing it up.

You have literally, that's a decision you make together.

That's crazy.

It's his body, our choice.

Like, that's fucking weird.

A thousand percent.

And like, you're a mom, so this affects you because he's the mom of your child.

And like, then you have potential step siblings out there.

Like, you have every right to be mad.

You should bring it up as soon as possible because if you're really not comfortable with it i'm sure there's a way he can like get it back you know and tell him not to use it he doesn't consent anymore like whatever yeah um talk about it immediately

it would be hard for me not to like blow up but i guess like you have to be measured if you want him to take you seriously but like you're totally justified in being pissed like i would

you don't need to be you can i think you can go crazy i know but then he's just gonna chalk it up like oh my wife is pregnant and hormonal and crazy like no you need to really explain why a this is a huge breach of trust b it's like beyond inappropriate when like you're having a baby together.

And, like, for him to not even confide in you.

To do that while she's pregnant is ballsy.

Also, I feel like sometimes men in particular will not actually take you seriously or listen to you unless you're acting like the incredible Hulk.

Oh, you think?

During the fight.

I feel like they'll then just like chalk it up to you being crazy and not actually listen to what you say.

Depends on what type of guy.

Yeah.

You know your partner best.

Like, however is the way like to really get through his head how actually angry you whether that's flying off the fucking handle or sitting down and like giving him a PowerPoint presentation.

Right.

Sometimes that works too.

A PowerPoint never hurts.

I want to know how you handle arguments with Ben.

Are you a PowerPoint gal or like a...

It depends on the argument.

Okay.

So if it's like, let's say I found something out

and like I ruminated on it and I like, if this was me, I would be so measured.

I would like I because it would be really important to me that he knows how angry I am and I'm not like being, you know, just crazy for no reason, which I can be.

Yep.

So for something like that, I would be very tactical.

But other things like when we are fighting and like, um,

and like it's not that important, like I'm fucking nuts, bitch.

Like I'm so crazy.

I've absolutely done that.

And I like go to like a dark place and like I'll like say something I regret, which is like something I'm really working on.

Mm-hmm.

But not in therapy.

Just like internally.

Just like in actuality, which I think is a better way to work on things.

Okay.

And actually, like in practice.

In practice.

Okay.

yeah.

And I actually have gotten, I've gotten way better.

Like when I was, we've been together for a really long time and I was like really young.

I was like 18 when we met.

Like in the beginning, I was so fucking toxic.

Like

that is completely excusable.

I don't know why he stayed with me.

I was like such a bitch.

You guys have known each other since you were 18.

That's insane.

But I agree with you.

I think for in this particular instance, because she just saw it on the computer, she doesn't know the background story.

Right.

What if he just like wanted to know how much money there was out there and then was going to ask her?

Right.

but it seems like he went through with it.

Oh, he, the sperm is out the door and into a vagina.

Let me.

Maybe not into a vagina, but I think it's in the bank.

Okay.

She saw the application.

Okay, maybe he hasn't sent an application.

Well, you know what?

Time is of the essence here.

So you got to act now.

Act now, but don't go in incredible Hulk style unless you have all of the information.

And unless you think that will really like resonate with him.

Whatever you know him best, like whatever will scare him fucking shitless.

Do that.

Yeah.

And and say that you are donating your eggs yeah and you already have yeah

love that see how he feels and there's 20 mini knees of you yeah see how he feels and tell him you did it for free

so then he'll be like wait you sold your eggs how much money is that because eggs are like charity it was charity based yeah eggs are like 20 rand a pop it's crazy be like no i was just trying to help some people out yeah like i i love to see families flourishing um all right that was deer toasters our advice segment if you ever want to write in it's dear toasters gmail.com sophia we love having you here thank you so much Claudia this was actually very very very fun actually no I knew it was gonna be fun but this was more fun than I even anticipated if you guys liked what you heard which I don't know how you can't check out Sophia's podcast Sophia with an F.

You drop episodes every week.

What day do you drop?

Let me guess, Tuesday.

Thursday, but Wednesday night.

Got it.

So Thursday.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the toast.

Tomorrow's episode will be audio only with Jackie, and Friday's episode will be audio only with Shannon Ford because we are headed to Palm Springs for stagecoach.

And Shannon and I are are going to be podcasting.

Do you know Shannon?

I have never met her.

I've heard incredible things.

I am so jealous you're going to stagecoach.

Oh my God.

Do you want to come?

I was invited.

But you're going to Vegas.

Why?

I don't know.

I'm pissed.

You should podcast with Shannon.

I want to.

I want to meet her really bad.

She's so fucking cool and fun and like so pretty.

And you would think she would be like a bitch because she can be because she's literally a model.

You never met someone nicer.

She seems extremely funny.

She's so fun to go out with, too.

Oh, yes.

I want to meet her.

Okay.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Joe's The Monday Morning Show where we deliver the fast festival stealing each to every May, Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

We're also available podcasts anywhere podcast can be found.

So it's Spotify, Tune Stitch, or Public Radio, I radiast box, all the places we listen to podcasts find us.

So don't leave a subscribe, be a beautiful study, and weekly downs and we are.

Hope you guys have a great day.

We'll see you tomorrow and Friday, audio only.

Bye.

Bye.