Old Beldon: Thursday, April 27th, 2023

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Morning Toast.

Happy Thursday, everyone.

It's me, yarg, Jax.

Wow, Jax, how long have you been out of the game?

The Morning Toast?

Did I say that?

I don't think I said that.

I don't think I did.

Already the gaslighting begins.

You guys, Jackie, you're really, you're not going to be happy when you hear this playback.

You said it.

You know what?

I do.

I do believe you.

I'm not going to die on this hill.

I probably said that.

You said it.

I probably did.

And I'm sorry, but I like it.

I'm sorry, but

I like it.

Nothing like a self-quote to start an episode of the toast.

Hey, Turdy Luya.

How you dern?

I'm doing good.

It's so good to be back with Jax.

Like, oh my God, you know?

I do know, but you've had such a fun-filled, guest-filled week.

Yeah.

And I know how you love chit-chatting with everyone.

Chit-chatting.

I love chit-chatting with the girls.

And I know how you love like making the most and thirsting in my absence.

Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp.

But I am back for a little audio-only episode because Claudia is going to stagecoach today.

Yeah, while you are listening to this episode, I will be en route to the West Coast.

So we were doing a little Wednesday night pre-record, which is so crazy and inauthentic of us.

No, we used to do this all the time because we used to just be like on the go.

You were on tour.

Like, we just would do night episodes.

And it's been a while.

It hits different.

It hits different at night.

Yeah, it does hit different.

We're always a little kookier crazier at night.

But you, if you are a Patreon member, you know this side of us because our Patreon episodes are a little toast after dark.

And that's where we leave it all.

So also speaking of Patreon, like I'm sure a lot of listeners are like, Jax, you're back.

We missed you.

But Claudia and I just recorded a Patreon podcast episode that was really so wonderful.

We caught up with each other, like a small content recap because we were like dreading doing the thing we set out to do, which was go through each other's phones.

So, Claudia and I took each other's phones and went through each other's Instagram search history, DMs, Venmo requests.

It's all on Patreon.

It was such a good episode.

I feel I saw Turdy like I never saw her before.

Yeah, and it was nice for everyone to get to hear from Jax.

Um, so if you're, by the way, can I just say, like, do you feel the love?

Everyone has been like desperate for you.

I do feel the love and I feel really loved.

And I appreciate everyone.

And I love you right back.

And I see all of your notes and messages.

And it really means a lot.

I have missed you.

And it's just like, there's nothing like, I was right before we started podcasting.

I was on the phone with Shannon Ford.

And she was like, because we're all going to be together next weekend too.

She was like, will you record an episode of my podcast with me?

And I was like, I will, but like, I just want to let you know, like, I can't.

Like, I have nothing to say.

I've been just like podcast, podcast, podcast, Patreon, Patreon, Patreon, guest coast.

Like, it really takes so much more out of me to do an episode of The Toast Without You.

And I was explaining this to Shannon, like, we are really, truly, like, partners.

And we really split the work 50-50.

And this life of being a solo business owner, like, I'm not down.

I always, you know, I daydream sometimes.

Oh, how nice would it be if I got to keep all the money?

You know what?

Split it right down, Shannon.

You can have it.

You can have the money, okay?

You can have all of it.

You can have all of it, okay?

Okay.

I'm earning my keep.

A hundred percent.

Also, just like the emotional elements of like being the host, but also the interviewer and the editor, like doing everything.

And I love the guest co-host because I feel like we have really cool, like different conversations.

Um, and I'm not saying anything bad.

I'm just all I'm saying is I'm really happy to have you here.

I'm really happy to be here and to support you.

You're doing a great job, though.

Like the comments, as much as they love and long for me, like they're also just like turdy hits it out of the park.

Once again, we love turdy and ben.

We love turdy and taylor.

Like, can Taylor be every day?

You know, stuff like that.

Does that stuff hurt you when you're like, oh my God, I wish Ben would do every single day?

Yeah, it's just like, I don't know if you guys know that that's insulting because, like, I don't know if you've like put together that that would then mean no more.

So you had a job.

No more me, but I don't think people mean it like that.

I think they're just genuinely trying to compliment the episode and they inadvertently insult me.

But I know it's really, it's about intention versus impact.

And I know that the intention was not to insult me.

No, no, the intention was to like leave a complimentary, positive comment about the episode, but inadvertently, they're firing you.

Yeah, they're coming for my job.

Yeah.

I will say, like, shout out to Taylor Strecher.

I feel like she's been on the toast, like a lot of times.

And it can, when you go on any podcast, a lot of times, it can become like repetitive.

And she just has been so fresh.

She's really been killing it.

I feel like I've seen more comments than ever when people are like, bring back Taylor again.

Like, Taylor's just killing it.

And I'm like, I'm grateful that she came and she's just crushing it.

Yeah.

And she, I remember when I podcasted with her a few times when you were like on tour and stuff, like she makes the job a lot easier because it feels like less like an interview and more just like a couple of hosts hosting.

She's a true professional host.

Like, you forget she was at Sirius XM Radio for 11 years.

Yeah, but like Ben comes on and he's like, let's talk about Ben.

Chaos.

We actually

is.

We have some stories today.

One of them is it's very Ben-like.

Oh, that's the other thing.

I've been choosing the stories too.

I'll never complain.

I'll never complain again, Jackie.

I'll never complain.

Oh, my God.

This is so good for our relationship.

I saw in your episode with Sophia, your fifth and final was about Wendy selling canned chili.

But by the way, Jackie.

So interesting.

I'm so interested about that.

I needed to know that.

This is a story I chose for you because you and I would have loved that.

And Sophia, she was playing the game.

She was like, oh, cool.

She wouldn't make me feel weird or anything.

But that was totally a you story.

I know.

I wish I could have been there to share my thoughts.

But here's the thing.

If I didn't see that episode of The Toast, Toast, I would have never known that.

And that's why we do what we do and why we surface these odd stories.

Because you isn't that cool

about the chili.

It is cool.

And like, that's really one of their better products.

So I'm glad that they recognize that too.

They see each other.

Yeah, they're self-aware, just like you.

Me?

Yeah, that's like your claim to fame is how self-aware you are.

I like to think I'm self-aware.

Are you co-signing and saying I am?

Yeah, no, I think you're very afraid of being not self-aware.

It is my biggest fear.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But so you are very self-aware, but like you could be aware of other stuff too.

Like, excuse me.

Like, you could take some time off of your self-awareness.

Like, you're doing okay.

Okay.

And then what should I put that time towards?

What are you trying to say?

Oh, I don't know.

You could raise awareness for other things.

Like what?

I don't know.

I'm just saying, like, you're doing a good job.

Like, don't worry so much about it.

You know what I mean?

Okay.

You know, I like 98% of my mental

energy is used towards, like, what are other people thinking about me?

Like, how am I coming off?

Am I okay?

It's really pathetic.

No, and that's another situation where, like, I didn't mean that to sound insulting.

No, I know, I know.

I was just saying, like, you can, like, give yourself a little grace.

Yeah, wait, totally.

I was, as I was falling asleep, I almost last night, as I was falling asleep, got up and texted you because you have to watch Young Sheldon.

You guys.

Oh, my God.

I saw your story and I I was going to respond, but I tapped too quickly.

Did you get hacked?

No, everyone was like, turdy, be fucking for real.

What are you talking about?

Because I posted on my story that Young Sheldon is the greatest television show to ever be created.

And let me tell you, Jackie, you would fucking love it.

It's all about the campers, by the way.

And I said this on the podcast with Sophia, so I don't want to be repetitive, but like, I don't have any sort of affliction to the Big Bang Theory.

This is a show that's like associated with the Big Bang Theory.

It's a pretty good thing.

It's a spin-off.

I hate, hate the Big Bang Theory.

I think it's dumb.

And i judge people who think it's like a great show honestly um even though you've never seen an episode don't know what it's about right i i have seen an episode and i generally know what it's about oh okay ben likes it ben likes it red flag continue yeah agreed moving on divorce um

so i weirdly started getting served on tick tock like clips from the show and i'm like oh the show looks so cute jackie you would love it especially like i know you're just like chilling at home a lot this last week and like next week you would love it it's a quick 20-minute sitcom episodes.

It's Camper Energy Up the Ass.

You know, Jackie.

You will love it.

It's so sweet.

It's got such heart.

It like teaches good lessons.

Like, Jackie,

I was not kidding.

Me and Ben are obsessed.

It's so good.

I was being dead fucking serious.

Where do you watch it?

HBO Max.

Okay, I have HBO Max.

Check it out.

Like, it's so good.

And there's to be known as Maximilian.

Literally the worst name.

I hope they don't do that rebrand ever.

I know, but it's so weird still.

Okay, but will you watch it?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm looking for a show.

She's looking for a show.

Okay, that works for me.

That works for me.

That's such a surprise.

I know.

Like, how not young Sheldon am I?

No, you're like old Belden.

I'm so old Belden.

It's so true.

I really am.

Yeah.

So you're going to join the Fast Live today, which is a delight.

Have there been any stories in like the two weeks that you've been gone that you were like dying to recap or anything that you was paining you to like see me doing without you?

So I feel like, no, like the last two weeks, like I did three episodes last week and like I felt like you know, what we caught up with everything.

Yeah.

This week, the only and then we also did like that Monday episode two weeks ago where it was like a huge recap of everything we've ever thought in our lives.

This week, the only standout stories for me were Sophia Ritchie's wedding,

which like I feel like is thoroughly recapped and it was just enjoyable to consume.

And Sidney Sweeney and Glenn Powell

liaising.

Well, do you have an update in your stories for that today?

I don't, because I imagine you've like been talking about it every day.

I only spoke about it once, but there was like a big update that came out after the toast today.

One being Gigi Paris, who is Glenn Powell's ex-girlfriend, confirmed it.

She literally made an Instagram Instagram story and was like, know your worth and don't forget to move on or something like that.

And then I think a rep for Sidney Sweeney told TMZ, like, she is still very much engaged to that nobody.

So this is all just drama for their movie coming out.

Huh.

Yeah.

I think there's smoke here.

Me too.

And really, like, I hate to be like that type of person, but I have been watching a lot of their red carpet photos and footage.

And like, they do look at each other very lovingly.

Like, it's that you can see something in their eyes.

Okay, but like, to me, that is acting like it's a red, it's a press junket for the movie.

Like that's promoting the movie.

But I thought they recently filmed this movie like that it wasn't coming out imminently.

It does feel like a quick turnaround time.

That's there because I think they were like frolicking in Australia just a few weeks ago.

No, you're right.

So that's a little confusing.

But no, if they're doing like public appearances and looking lovey-dovey, that's giving Bradley Cooper Lady Gaga.

Yeah, we gotta not get gaga.

It was, we all got caught caught up in that.

We all, I think we all got caught up in that.

Yeah, but I also don't know how Glenn Powell and Sidney Sweeney like get together and don't fall in love with one another.

Yep.

I don't know.

I don't completely agree.

I don't know how they just like shake hands and say like, great job on set today and move on.

They're perfect for each other.

They're perfect for each other.

And I'm like, it's, it's bad that there were other people involved.

If, you know,

if it is collateral.

But like, you can't fight fate.

I know that's what we meet when Taylor Strecker was on.

She was like, it's so sad because like cheating is wrong, but like who fucking cares?

Like they're perfect for each other.

Sorry.

And there's not a marriage in this equation, right?

True.

No, there's an engagement.

Yeah.

Okay.

So it's just like, you know, young love tings.

Yeah.

You got to bop around

if you're them.

If you're them.

Because this is the call I made with Taylor.

Tell me if you agree with this.

Like Glenn Powell is obviously a movie star.

He's been in so many hits and he was just in Top Gun, like the biggest grossing movie of the year, yada, yada.

But there's something about him that's like not superstar famous like he should be.

Yeah, agreed.

And he's missing like a star-studded relationship.

Yeah.

And this is it.

Agreed.

He hasn't just like clicked for audiences yet in the way that he's clicked for me.

I know.

Like, and I know you're a really big fan of him and he has like a huge cult following from that rom-com he did with Zoe Deutsch.

Like people loved that movie.

But he's not.

And he like he should be because he was in Top Gun Gun and he's in these like big ass like franchises.

But I don't even think he's like that recognizable.

Now he's slowly starting.

The Sydney Sweeney thing is helping.

And if they really do date, it would be great for him.

Yeah.

For me, like his breakout role is hidden figures.

I see.

I didn't even know he was in that.

John Glenn.

Oh, yeah.

He's so cute.

John Glenergy.

John Glenn Powell.

Oh, that was so much better than mine.

Duh.

And then, you know what I wish would happen?

Like, when people play historical figures, that like in other series, they would play them as well.

Like,

for example, in The Crown, when Prince Philip meets the astronauts, like he met John Glenn, and it should have been Glenn Powell.

Like, and now I feel like in other biopics, like when people are playing Elvis, like in the background of someone else's biopic, like it should be Austin Butler.

I know that's never gonna fucking happen, but like a little continuity would really mean a lot to me as a viewer.

Can I tell you how much I love that idea?

Like, that's a fucking brilliant idea.

Thank you so much.

I think that it is too.

I know that there's like, it couldn't really never happen, like, studios, contracts, agents, like, you know, some

movies only get made with like agents, people, you know, whatever.

But then I wouldn't have to be like, is that, you know, is that June Carter?

Who's that supposed to be?

Is that Johnny Cash or Joaquin fucking Phoenix?

Yeah, but the thing is, like, let's say somebody made a movie today.

Joaquin Phoenix is like 20 years out of Walk the line yeah it's no it's it's tough the time period is really short i would say there needs to be like a rule if you make a movie within three years of a movie being made with a fictional representation of no i'm gonna say five years i'm gonna say five years okay we'll give it five years then like as a society we really encourage you to use the actor who's known for the role i love that idea thank you so much Maybe you'll bring some more of those good ideas to the rest of the stories today.

Maybe.

I can't promise anything.

Maybe.

Don't count on it.

Is that a TikTok sound?

No, I just made it up.

Should somebody click it, clip it and make it a TikTok sound?

Yes, they should.

Love that.

I love that for us.

Okay, so let's get into said stories.

Without further ado, here are the fast five said stories that you need to know.

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Thank you, Turdy Lou.

Yada welcome.

So our first story is actually a story that's been unfolding over the week.

And now Morgan Wallin's label is denying the claim that he was too drunk to perform his canceled show.

So that is the rumor.

Yes.

Last weekend, Morgan Wallen was scheduled to perform in Mississippi.

And right before he was supposed to go on stage, they canceled the show, citing that he lost his voice.

Then a TikTok user shared a video of a security guard at the stadium telling attendees after a Sunday show that an allegedly intoxicated Morgan couldn't walk and had to be taken out of the venue by an ambulance.

He said, losing his voice is bull crap.

However, both the guard's employer and Morgan's label have shot down this claim.

They said, quote, a hired employee of Best Crowd Management made false claims as it related to last night's Morgan Wallen concert, and we do not stand behind the detail in his statement.

By the way, that TikTok that was going around of those girls like talking to the security man at the arena and filming him gave me such a pit because, like, why would they put his face in it?

You know, right.

I mean, yeah, he's like starting a rumor or whatever, but like, this man's 100% fired and 100% losing his job.

And I just like, it gave me a pit.

Like, I wish they blurred out his face or something.

Yeah, or just cropped it out.

That's like number one.

Um, number two, what do you think?

I don't know.

It's like definitely suspicious.

Honestly, I don't know if I have ever ever heard of somebody canceling a concert after the openers already performed.

It's literally next level.

And that's the only reason I'm like slightly suspicious that something else is going on because singers losing their voice is totally common and it sucks.

And if he had done it the morning of or the day before, like we all would have been like,

but it's totally understandable.

The going up until literally showtime is so weird to me.

Like to let people in to buy merch, to get drunk.

Like, I don't know.

It's fucking weird.

Yeah.

It's the losing the voicing it's like even if you're waiting an hour letting the openers go on like his voice isn't gonna come back in that time yep yep yep yep but he could sober up in that time right but he didn't allegedly didn't i also

see then my other but then like uh he canceled the shows for the rest of the week so that makes it seem like he lost his voice and you know in a week he'll have his voice back so

how does the canceling of the rest of the shows fit into the drunk narrative Okay, well, so the rest of the shows that he canceled are rescheduled.

So I know this is like crazy, but maybe he was like really committing to the bit because nobody would have believed that his voice was out if he did a show the next day or this weekend, whatever it was.

So maybe like in order to make it really believable, because he didn't reschedule the Mississippi show, but he did reschedule the other two that he canceled.

Yeah, maybe like

that's a really expensive way to commit to the bit, though.

I know.

I know.

And honestly, I was hoping he would also reschedule next week's shows because that's that's when he's coming to Florida and I can't go.

And then he moved all his shows to September.

Like, that would actually be fantastic.

So, I, like, not to be selfish, I hope his voice stays out for a while.

Yeah.

I also did see like unverified rumors that he actually had gone missing and nobody knew where he was.

And they were just hoping he was going to show up, which would make sense for like the timeline.

That would make sense.

Also, like, I just watched George and Tammy, and this is so George Jones.

Like, literally,

I was thinking this is so Kelly Canner.

Oh my God.

In the opening scene of George and Tammy, like, George Jones is so drunk, like, in the bathroom, he's ripping up money and flushing it down the toilet, and he can't stand.

And his management team takes,

what's the silver tape called?

Duct tape?

Yeah, but like heavier than duct tape.

And they taped his legs straight.

Oh, yeah.

They taped his knees and threw him out on stage.

That's next-level psychotic.

So it's like, it's very country of him.

He's country.

But also very unprofessional.

Very inconvenient for the fans.

They did get refunded, but still, like you said, they went out to the stadium, they got babysitters, they got drunk, and they went home.

No, and then I was talking with Taylor, like, you know, most people don't actually buy their tickets straight from Ticketmaster.

It would be great if we all did, but like...

Scalpers get them, bots get them.

A lot of people buy their tickets secondhand.

And after looking into it, because I was curious, like only Ticketmaster refunds.

So it's like these scalpers not only don't have to give their money back to the people who bought it from StubHub, but they actually get a refund from buying it on Ticketmaster.

Isn't that crazy?

Even StubHub?

Yeah, it's resale.

Resale, you don't get a refund.

Geez, I didn't know that.

I know, and that's why, like, as an artist, not that I'm, you know, I am a touring artist myself, like you're really not encouraged to promote any sort of resell websites.

Well, there's a number of reasons for that.

I didn't know.

But, of course.

Yeah, this seems like the biggest one.

Yeah, and I remember when StubHub, like in the early days, like when I was in high school, we used to like buy buy tickets on StubHub.

Like, you know, one in five times you were buying fake tickets.

I do feel like a lot of like those scam fraud elements have been vetted on like the really legit resale websites like StubHub.

I don't think that happens as much anymore.

I don't think it happens on websites like StubHub.

No, but like Vivid Seats for sure.

But we should ask Margo because she owns the website.

StubHub?

Yeah.

Because she's the most stubborn bitch you'll ever meet.

Because she's so stub.

I know.

This is just like a really fucking like suspicious ass story.

And I'm not letting it go.

I'm looking into things.

Yeah.

I feel like it's not that crazy of a theory.

He's definitely in and out of sobriety.

Yeah.

That's also like the theme of his album.

It's so much about like not drinking, but drinking.

And he obviously struggles with this.

And so

I just

hope that he gets the help that he needs.

Or that his voice comes back.

Whatever it is.

Speedily.

Speedily.

Okay, are you ready for our next story?

Yes.

We're going to the chapel, and we're going to get married.

Lucas Gage and Chris Appleton got married in Vegas, and Kim officiated, and Shania performed.

So, Lucas Gage from the White Lotus wed the celebrity hairstylist, Chris Appleton, and they both announced that on social media on April 26th.

They posted photos and videos from the ceremony, which included Kim officiating and Shania performing.

This is so weird.

Yeah, they went from like, are they dating?

Aren't they dating?

And that was like one to two months ago.

Yeah.

And now they're hitched.

I don't.

feel like, you know, this sort of shotgun Hollywood wedding is, you know, built to last, but I think they're really cute together.

And it's, it's actually really nice to see like, you know, Chris, who's like full-time job job is to like support other people like to be the you know support kim and j-lo to be a the star and be on stage for like it to be about him for once yeah and i really enjoyed that and of course like the the nuptial details were iconic you know you still the one that i love

the only one i dream of even though like

it's become a really popular wedding song and it's kind of weird because it's like about a man who like treats you like crap oh yeah you should go with i hope you dance instead.

Looks like we made it.

Like, why, why wouldn't we make it?

Look how far we've come.

Like, it's just like a little weird.

I don't know.

You're not making it.

That's not as strong of a case.

I'll find some more lyrics.

Like, you can get through stuff and be proud of that and say, looks like we made it.

Look how far we've come, my baby.

Cause like, you know,

relationships aren't just like smooth sailing all the time.

Like, I actually think it's realistic depiction.

Yeah, let me just find the lyrics.

Like, yeah, find the one nefarious lyric that keeps you up, just like, just like that pink song, Claude.

Toast Radio listeners will know.

Right.

Toast radio.

Okay.

It's just, okay, maybe there's actually like nothing that nefarious in it, but it's just like, it's just weird, you know?

We beat the odds together.

They said, I bet they'll never make it.

It's like trying to get.

And why was everyone saying that?

Why was everyone saying that?

You know?

Okay.

Why were the odds against you?

Okay, go off, turdy.

No, it's just something to think about.

Yeah, I love thinking about

speaking of I Hope You Dance by Leanne Womack.

I just, I appreciate every person who sends me Zach Goitowski's Instagram stories.

He's now posting in feed, you know, fan art of him and the property brothers.

And it just further validates everything I said when I was, you know, kind of shook he came at Irina for coming on the show to be famous.

And when he really thought he fucking slayed when he said that, like, you know, like there was blood.

Like, and literally watching his activity on social media, it is so abundantly clear that there is one person on this show who came here for fame, and his name is motherfucking Zach Goitowski.

I miss my case.

The content is cringe.

Ooh, it is painful.

I am feeling for bliss.

She seems happy.

I know, but like.

There's a lid for every pot turdy loo.

Looks like they made it.

Look how far they've come, my baby.

They actually didn't take the long way?

That's the next line.

Might have took the long way.

Actually, they did for the show.

For the show, they did.

For the show, yes, I guess they did.

I think they had the wrong song that they were obsessed with.

100%.

But back to Lucas Gage and Chris Appleton.

Like, I just, there's an element of bizarreity to this entire saga.

So I'm just, I'm being, I'm skeptical.

I'm skeptical.

I said it, Jackie.

I fucking said it.

Oh, wow.

I wasn't skeptical.

I was just like,

okay so so it's the real deal

and i don't know who was there but i know chris appleton has kids and i don't think that they were there yeah

that's weird but it also felt like very planned i don't think they were in vegas otherwise

i i do think they were i'll tell you why and i also don't think you can you can like not plan something when shania twain is performing um i think they were in vegas because chris appleton was awarded hairstylist of the year and i feel like that whole thing happened in vegas are you sure i think that was in la

Let me double-check.

I'm actually not sure.

Because it was like

the name of the award ceremony was like the Los Angeles Fashion Awards.

And I was like, that's not a real thing.

Oh, yeah.

Daily Front Row LA Awards.

I was just making stuff up again.

It's so important that like everybody remembers

everything on this show is made up.

I was shocked that Kim went to something called the Los Angeles Fashion Awards.

That sounds like something.

Well, that was Daily Front Row.

That sounds like something they do on Real Housewives of Orange Awards.

Real Housewives of Orange County.

Queenie.

Yes.

I knew what you were going to say.

That's so true.

Knowing that Chris was honored, it was very sweet of her to go.

It was sweet of her to go.

And to obviously plan.

I'm sure, you know, she was the one who booked Shania.

Yeah.

Also, it feels like Kim has been taking in every Las Vegas residency recently.

Yes, she saw Usher.

She saw Katy Perry.

She saw Adele.

Yeah, I think like every weekend she goes to Vegas and takes in a show.

Well, I mean, if you had a plane and Vegas was an hour away, like like literally you could leave that.

That's how long it takes you to get to MSG some nights.

And that's how long it would take a normal person to get to the airport.

Yeah.

No, no, no.

I think it's awesome.

I would do the same.

Like that, yeah, by the way, if I had a plane and lived so close to LA, oh, and by the way, I could get tickets to whatever I wanted and probably go backstage and maybe even get on stage.

Like, if I had all of those things, you bet your ass I'd be spending every weekend in Vegas as well.

Do you think she'll go to Kelly Clarkson?

No, because I don't feel like Kim.

Honestly, I don't feel like Kim has good taste in music, honestly.

But she kind of has like corny taste in music, and I feel like she would be going for like since you've been gone.

Oh, actually, like, I forget that that's what Kelly's known for.

Like, I'm thinking, you know, peace by peace.

Yeah, no, she's not going for me slash mine, but she would be going cuts.

She would be going for breakaway.

Like, that's so like not what I associate Kelly Clarkson's music with.

It's crazy.

Yeah.

I hope Kim goes.

Well, now, actually, when you frame it that way, I could totally see, totally see Kim, like wanting to, you know, capitalize like on, you know, early 2000s, Y2K vibes.

Yeah.

Yeah, totally.

That's just not the Kelly we know.

I'm sorry.

No, that's not Kelly Brianne.

That is, that's Kelly Clarkson.

That is not Kelly Brianne.

My fucking queen.

Do you know that she has a children's book?

I did know that.

Like River Runs, River.

Yeah.

And like, there's a song at the end of the book, and it comes with a bear and like you squeeze the bear and it's Kelly sings the lullaby.

Oh, goodbye, gotta go order.

Yeah, no, I was surprised you didn't have it.

I know, you know, it came out like before I was in the market for children's books, but um, I didn't know that Kelly sings, and there's a bear.

Goodbye.

Yeah, she was on her talk show talking about it because apparently, it's Ashton Kutcher's uh son's favorite book before bed.

Oh, wow, that's so cute!

It's like it's it's popular, she's got a cult following with the kids.

I believe that, I believe that too.

Are you ready for our next story?

I am, which would have been a great story if Ben were hosting, but Aaron Rodgers is coming to the Jets.

What?

You don't know this?

No, Ben is out of town.

J-E-T-S Jets, Jets, Jets.

He wrote a lengthy goodbye to the Packers after his Jets trade went through.

There were rumors swirling for like the last few weeks that he might go to the Jets, but like the Jets always.

Oh my god.

The Jets always

have it.

Jackie had not heard whispers.

I didn't even know.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

I thought there were whispers that he was going to retire.

Yeah, no, he's he's going to the Jets.

J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets.

That's exciting because, like, as a New York football fan, if you're a fan of the Jets, like, you know, it's just a bleak life.

Like, they've never even had any sort of like, not even, not even momentum, but not even hope.

Like, it's really like a sad fucking franchise.

And the Giants, which is like the other New York team, they're like the cool kids.

And like, they've won Super Bowls.

And like, even when they're, you know, not great, they're still good.

And so when you're a Jets fan, it's like you're just the dork.

And the Giants are like the popular kids.

So for this, I can't remember like the last time an actual famous person whose name I knew played on the Jets.

Like that's crazy.

It was Mark Sanchez.

Don't be fucking rude, Tim Tebow.

Yeah, but he was there for like five minutes and I don't even think he played.

Mark Sanchez.

Mark Sanchez, but that was like Mark Sanchez was famous for being a Jet.

He wasn't like famous and then came to the Jets, you know, and he was famous because like he was like not supposed to be that great and he like blew shit up.

He was on the cover of the New York Post when I was in high school every single day.

Yeah, those were good times.

Well, Well, that could be Aaron because not only is like Aaron Rodgers going to the Jets, which is cool for the Jets if you're into that sort of thing, but he's coming to New York slash New Jersey.

Like he's going to be your neighbor.

He's going to be a star.

And I wonder what this means for the sharks.

I wonder what this means for Shaylene.

Yeah, yeah.

I feel like she's so New York now.

I feel like she could see a life for herself in New York.

Maybe it was Green Bay that was coming between them.

She's so not Green Bay.

She's also so, she's so not New York City.

She's not like a city girl.

She's very like barefoot, you know,

doing hikes in her bikini.

Yeah, but she could hike on the West Side Highway.

The High Line.

Yeah, she would love it.

No, this is like so crazy and so exciting.

That also means like, you know, I like to think, you know, oh, Jackie's telling a story.

What does this mean for me?

And here's what it means for me.

It means like I feel like I might see Aaron Rodgers out at like a fabulous restaurant or like a cool club.

Yeah, like zero bond.

Yeah.

I'm sure he'll become a a member.

Yeah, I feel like the nightlife opportunities, and I think Aaron Rodgers likes to throw down.

You know, he takes the season seriously, but you know, he enjoys his time off.

Yeah.

I just feel like he's not going to like New York.

I know.

I don't, where is he from originally?

Like, like born and raised.

Yeah.

Hold on.

I'm looking it up.

Oh, Chico, California.

Oh man, that's where Ryan from the OC was from.

Chico.

Oh, wow.

And he went to Berkeley.

So, yeah, maybe, maybe he hasn't spent a lot of time in New York.

Maybe he doesn't know how much he's going to love it.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know.

But I'm excited.

I'm excited for New York.

I need to ask Zach Shapiro what this means.

Like, Zach Shapiro's been not really into football.

Like, he follows everything, but he's really into basketball.

Shapiro is like our family football fanatic.

And he cares about the New York teams, like, my husband doesn't.

Yeah.

He's a huge Giants fan.

So I have to ask him what's what this means for me and for the for the state and for the community well it could mean good things for you like it could mean like now maybe I'll go to a jets game and it'll be something to go to

yeah by the way I feel like when we got into our 49ers era I really appreciated like how fun really truly fun it can be to go to a football game like it is fun to be a part of it also there were rumors that Aaron Rodgers was gonna go to the 49ers I think oh shit okay but let's go let's go back to the 49ers Like, our team doesn't have a.

They don't have a quarterback that they can lead.

Quarterback.

Who, like, who are we thinking?

I know that people were actually thinking Tom Brady might go, but he officially retired again.

So.

Yeah.

No, they need, like, we need some fresh blood.

Yeah, we need, like, a hot young thing.

We need like a Matt Saracen.

No,

we don't.

We need a Matt Saracen out of Texas.

No, we need the one who got hurt to get better because he was like

all that.

Yeah.

He was all that, Brock.

If you go to his Instagram, he's such a PJOM.

It's like Jesus this, Jesus that.

I'm like, yes, Brock.

Yes.

That's beautiful.

Yeah.

Well, that concludes your sports news for the day.

Feel like you needed to know where Aaron is going.

And what this means for Shaylene.

And what it means for Turdy's backyard.

Right.

Before you dive into the next story, let me tell you that today's episode is brought to you by Top Golf.

It's golf.

It's not golf.

It's Top Golf.

So they've got a bunch of things at their Top Golf locations that make them, you know, the golf.

They got the clubs, the balls, the tees, the turf, the ball, picker, upper thing.

But they also have a lot of stuff that makes it not golf, like great music, loud music, giant targets in the fairway, huge TVs, handcrafted food and beverage menus.

It is fabulous.

I can tell you firsthand, we have spent, you know, many a night at top golf, and it is fun.

We're going back next week, actually, in Nashville.

It is so fun.

We're obviously not like big into golf.

When I tell you how much fun we had, we got so into it.

And we were all girls.

We We were like, I guess we'll just like go and like dance and stuff.

We got so into it.

It was so competitive.

Jackieo ended up winning, but we enjoyed everything that Top Golf had to offer.

That's the food and beverage that they do actually have price gameplay on Tuesdays.

We enjoyed the music.

We enjoyed the vibes.

The bays are heated in the winter and they're cold in the summer.

I'm very temperature conscious and it's nice to know that they are too over at Top Golf.

So

make sure to check out a Top Golf if you're in a town that has one.

It's such a great way to spend a girls night, a date night, couples night out.

That's what we're doing next week.

So much fun because it's golf.

It's not golf.

It's top golf.

Download the app and book ahead and to come and play around on Half Price Tuesday or any other day.

Today's episode is also brought to you by The Perfect Bar.

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Happy snacking.

Thanks, Claudia.

What can I say except you're welcome?

Now, I don't want to ruin your appetite with the next story, but

the new season, season six of Black Mirror has been confirmed

with a June release, and they just released the teaser, which I'm literally too scared to even watch.

No, I'm not fucking watching that shit.

This show is disgusting, and it's

depravity at its finest.

But it's also really smart and really good and

it gives you a whole new perspective on life.

And you have to watch it.

And it's also star-studded this season.

Yes.

So this season's roster includes Aaron Paul, Annie Murphy.

Oh, I love her.

That's Shit's Creek.

It's Alexis.

Yes, Kate Mara, Michael Sarah,

Salma Hayek, Rory Culkin, and many others.

Who's Rory Culkin?

The one from Succession.

No, that's Kieran Culkin.

Oh, shit.

And then there was McCulley.

And then there's a third.

There was always a third.

Googling.

I had no idea.

Yeah.

And he's definitely from something we know.

Wait, yeah, wait.

Hold on.

The way that this family has the genetics of serial killers and they all ended up as like famous actors, they all look like serial killers.

But what have we seen him in?

I'm not recognizing anything from his

cat.

Waco, Waco, Waco.

Who did he play in Waco?

He played like that guy, you know.

Oh, no.

I remember him.

He's from Halston, the Netflix miniseries.

He played Joel Schumacher.

Oh, I don't.

Oh, I did watch that.

No, he played David Thibodeau.

He was like one of the new recruits.

He was kind of like our eyes and ears.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That show is so fucking good.

We really quickly, when you were going through the people who are in it, Kaymara, I really wish she never did that show on FX about the teacher who has sex with her student because honestly, I love how the same

The teacher who had sex with their student.

She was so convincing in that.

To me, she's a fucking pedophile.

Like, I can't move past it.

No, it was such a deeply like authentic performance.

Like, I see her as a teacher.

Wow.

Do you want to disturb me?

Do you want to pull a Megan Trainer?

No, I don't want to.

I'm not going to say what you want me to say.

You don't want to go to jail tonight?

No, that's not how I plan to spend my evening.

So the season looks, you know, just as dysfunctional, dark, and dystopian as ever.

But a new addition is that it seems like they might not be one-off episodes.

They've always been like standalone installments.

But the showrunner hinted that season six follows a new model.

A log line notes that the sixth season of Black Mirror is the most unpredictable, unclassifiable, and unexpected yet.

So it might

have more of a story arc.

Like continuity between each episode.

It used to be like you could just watch random episodes, kind of like Law and Order.

Like you would just watch random episodes.

They had totally different characters, totally different places they were set in.

Like,

I've seen a bunch of episodes, but I never watched them front to back.

People would just be like, oh, you have to watch that one or you have to watch that one.

It's not confirmed, but like the showrunner.

Said, like, I always felt Black Mirror should feature stories that are entirely distinct from one another and keep

people and myself surprised.

It should be a series that can be easily defined and can keep

reinventing itself.

But then he also feels the need to challenge everything.

Like everything about Black Mirror is like challenging

usual assumptions.

So anything fucking goes with this show, Girder Loins.

Also, does it feel like it's been a really long time since the last Black Mario Mario?

It's been three years, I think.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah.

So season five came out in 2019.

Right.

So four years.

This is long-awaited.

That's crazy.

Oh my god, this show, like, the people who think of this shit are so fucked up in the head.

Like, I can't.

Okay,

obviously you want to go to a dark place, but think of some of the more compelling episodes.

I'm on a roll, riding so high.

Achievement.

By the way, I never even saw that episode.

I just love that song.

Oh, it's cute.

It's also the premise of the book that we read for the Redheads, Clara, and the Sun.

Oh.

Just like

a doll that's like your friend and companion.

Oh, so you mean Life Size starring Tyra Banks and Lindsay Lawham?

Yeah, yeah, they all are pretty similar.

Life Size did it first.

Then there were other episodes too, like that guy who used to like bring people home from work and like put them in his computer games.

Sad fucking episode with Landry from Friday Night Lights, who's this fucking freak who like digitally kidnaps his coworkers who he doesn't like and they make them live in this alternate reality for the rest of their lives.

Right.

Oh my god, that fucking show.

And then he ends up, spoiler alert, dying.

And like, they did it, but like, I can't.

And then also the one with like Bryce Dallas Howard, where she's a bridesmaid.

I hate that one.

Her social credit score is like not good enough.

So she keeps trying to like get it up, but she winds up with like an like really bad.

I think she winds up like dead.

Or like arrested.

She was like on the side of the road like hitchhiking.

I think she ends up dead.

Yeah.

This show is turnt.

Like it's really not okay in any way.

I know, but I look forward to the personal internal battle I'm gonna have about whether or not to watch it.

Oh, yeah, I'm totally watching it.

I don't know.

You know, I need to know, like, what level of like gory, like, they really just fuck with your head sometimes.

And you know what?

That's not good all the time.

Like, no, life is hard enough.

But I do feel like so many things wind up happening in the world.

And then we're like, oh my god, that's like a Black Mirror episode.

And it takes Black Mirror to show us some of the dangers of like modern social media.

Social, yeah, technology, like that episode.

No, you're so right.

We were just talking about this episode where

the punishment for a crime that this person committed was that they like wake up every single day, they forget every single day, they forget everything that happened before, and they like have to go through the same day over and over again.

And people attend and watch it like it's a museum.

Yeah,

messed up stuff.

No, deeply unwell people coming up with these concepts.

I wish them well.

Yeah.

Okay, are we ready for our fifth and final story?

The final story.

It's Jackson Claude back together again.

And that's a magic number.

It's a little light, exciting bachelor fair because Becca Kufrin is pregnant and expecting her first child with her fiancé Thomas Jacobs, who she met on Bachelor in Paradise.

Whom she proposed to, correct?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Just, it's important that we not forget that.

I forgot.

And I.

No, I couldn't.

That's the only thing I think of when I think of Becca Kufrin and her man.

I honestly did not know that they were still together.

Right, they're still together.

And that actually is really cute.

And I feel like, you know, in Bachelor World, a lot of people get together.

A lot of people get engaged, even.

Especially on Paradise.

Yeah.

To either get married or have a baby with someone makes it, you know, a lot more ceremonial.

And so these two are going the distance.

She announced on Wednesday that her and Thomas Jacobs, her fiancé, will be expanding their family this fall.

Party of five coming September 2023.

Five?

I think there's probably dogs in the picture.

Oh, oh my God.

I hate when people do that.

Like, it's so confusing.

I know, but, like, what do you think?

You're going to leave Theo out of your announcement one day?

No, Theo is the announcement.

Like, he's here.

Get with the program there is a dog in the picture and the sonogram looks like one little one so five so that's one two that's four three four hold on maybe there's two dogs this fifth maybe she's having twins it looks like one

baby

I think there might be two dogs two dogs oh okay I was literally like typing out investigative like what is going on.

I was like, maybe he has a child from another relationship.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, that good thing that you called that out.

Party five.

I'm like, damn, that's a big family.

Yeah.

Well, they're growing their fam.

Anything that's really sweet.

That's nice.

I mean,

Becca Kufrin like wouldn't be where she is right now if Ari Leindike didn't like dump her on television.

And I know everybody made Ari and Lauren like the villains out of that story.

But I think now, you know, knowing what we know, Ari and Lauren have multiple children.

She's engaged, has a baby on the way.

Seems like everything worked out the way that it was supposed to work out.

Don't you think, Jax?

I do think, Turd.

Turd thinks yes.

Yes, thank, Turd.

I, turd.

Yes, thank.

Yes, thanks, Turd.

Absolutely.

Those are the fast five, and I didn't choose them, and it was an absolute pleasure.

This is Thursday's episode.

Friday's episode is going to be me and Shannon.

We're going to be podcasting live from Palm Springs before we head out for our first official day of Stagecoach, which is so exciting.

How are you feeling about Stagecoach?

Do you see the weather?

Stop.

Yeah.

I was prepared.

I knew it was going to be over 100 degrees.

I'm okay with the weather.

I am packed.

I do believe I have like all my outfits.

I was feeling good until Shannon sent me a picture of her outfits.

You want me to send you that?

Do you?

I do.

I do.

Let me send it to you right now.

It's vomit worthy.

I saw in your story that you

were vomiting like let me just send you one and you'll know like why i don't want to go anymore but your outfits are really strong claude like we it's not about the outfits it's it's like about the whole look you know what i mean like just look at the shit picture of shannon and you'll understand why i'm no longer interested in attending this festival with that you know devious wench yeah no that's really cool stuff but also you could think of it this way like there's things in there that you could borrow I know, and Shannon's so generous.

She was like, what can I bring?

She's bringing me a jacket.

She's like, do you need something?

She's getting me sunglasses.

Like, she's being so generous.

Maybe she has the belt that you need.

I just don't think, like, wear the same belt size, you know?

Fine.

Did you try on the belt that you bought with your outfit?

I didn't try it on.

Like, I'm just, I'm just crossing my fingers.

You're a raw dog in it.

Yeah, I bought a belt.

It's like an expensive belt, and I'll just return it if I don't wear it.

Yeah.

That's fine.

Yeah.

So like, that's a little bit of update for me.

So I'm just got to spray tan.

I'm literally going to go to bed.

I have to wake up at the crack of dawn.

And make sure you're following me on Instagram this weekend because I'm going to be at stagecoach like living it up.

And make make sure you're following Jackie too because she's always doing interesting things over there.

That is so sweet, TL.

I can't wait to keep up with your story.

By the way, do not call me TL.

I know, I won't.

I just did because I know that I reached like my turd maximum.

I know people get like annoyed, but you know what?

I don't get annoyed.

No, it's like I don't, I'm still gonna call you turd, turdy, like whatever, but I do know that there's like a limit.

So if I could switch it up, remix it, yeah, then I'll try and do that.

But I don't think TL is the one.

I don't think so either.

I'm excited to follow along on your weekend of fun in the sun with the girly, swirly, twirlies.

We will miss you.

I will miss you too, and just be like living vicariously through you in the music.

But, like, you know what?

The lineup's not my dream lineup, so I'll be okay.

It's definitely a missable lineup.

Yeah, but like, you're going for

the fun and the camaraderie.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Because I like it.

I like it.

I like you, Jackie, and I love podcasting with you.

And thanks everyone for listening to The Toast, the Monday Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcast can be found.

So that's Spotify, Tunes, Titcher, Public Radioi, I Red Castbox, all the places we have to listen to podcasts.

Find us at Toastleafster RV, about a beautiful, standing, and wickedly talented.

We are.

Hope you guys have an amazing day, and we'll see you.

I'll see you on Friday.

And then we'll see you next week.

Love you.

Love ya.

Bye.