Divine Retribution: Thursday, March 23rd, 2023

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast.

Happy Thursday in March of 2023.

That really feels like a Thursday in March of 2020 because we are podcasting from home today, audio only.

I haven't sat at this desk to podcast since dark, dark times.

Hey, Jax, how you dern?

That's so funny because for me, it doesn't feel that way because I'm still in my studio.

So I'm like at work, but I'm in my pajamas.

So I'm working from PJs because I'm sick.

I know.

I'm sick.

I'm sick.

Sorry, you go.

My illness has just been like a little bit of a journey.

Like I woke up this morning.

I'll explain what I have.

So I've had a cold, you guys have heard over the last like two weeks, sneezing, whatever.

Yesterday was really bad sinus pressure in my nose and my head before i went to sleep last night like i had the humidifier going cold compress on my nose and then i was sleeping i slept really well and then i woke up before my hatch alarm even started and i woke up coughing like My throat was on fire and like the coughs, like I felt like I couldn't catch my breath.

What I think now what happened is that it was all the mucus like went down into my throat while I was asleep because I was on my back and on my side.

So,

you know, gravity did its thing.

And the first few minutes that I was away, like the first 10 minutes, like, I was like, oh, I can't do the toast today at all.

Then I sat up and I had a tea.

And then like 30 minutes later, I was like, okay, I'm sick, but I could, I could talk for an hour.

I just can't spend an hour doing my makeup, which is why we're audio only.

Okay, so that's called post-nasal drip.

I learned because like when I get like a little bit sick in the mornings, I'm on death's door.

I have to go to the hospital.

And what I've learned is that that's called post-nasal drip.

Like that's why you feel like shit in the morning when you're sick, but you're not as sick as you feel just because the mornings are so bad.

Yeah.

No, that's what it was.

But also like with pregnancy, your

nose canal is just like inflamed already.

So like sinus tings are

real.

But I had never felt my throat feel like that in my life.

So maybe I've just not had like a bad sinus experience, but I was like, holy shit.

And I was reading up on like sinusitis last night when I thought that might be what I had.

And then all of a sudden I was having these symptoms that last night I could say I didn't have.

Like even tooth hurt.

Tooth hurt.

Well, I think I speak on behalf of myself and all the toasters when I say thank you for still showing up for work today.

If you're a regular podcast listener, your life remains unaffected.

If you're a YouTuber, check out today's podcast.

This audio is also available on YouTube if you're just like a YouTube app girly.

But hopefully Jax will be better by tomorrow.

If not, it's Friday.

So at least we have the weekend and then you'll definitely be back by Monday.

Yeah, so I'm going to take the day today after this, like just be in bed, tea, soup, water, rest.

Bryce, who just knows when his mom needs him desperately.

Like it's crazy how he's, he's Florence Brysingale.

He's,

he's also just like extremely intuitive.

No, he really, really is.

Like, it's crazy the things that he, he picks up on.

But I'm hoping that tomorrow I'll be better because honestly, I'm too booked and busy for this right now.

Like, and I'm not even particularly booked this weekend.

I just like have a busy life.

Like, I drive now.

Like I'm obviously not driving today.

I'm not going anywhere, but like I have things to do.

Harry needs to play.

T-Lom.

The life of a mogul.

And a mother.

The life of a mogul mother.

Mogul mother.

It's really like I'm super busy and Harry can't have me down and out.

He's like, mom, let's go.

No, he was actually.

He was texting me this morning being like, you know, like, I understand, like, she's sick, but like, like, low-key, it's kind of annoying.

We have plans.

and I just feel like maybe she's faking because she's just like not in the mood to hang out with me and I said Harry absolutely not like Jackie mom would never she would literally never do that she's in she's an agony knowing that she might not be able to give you 110% today and I think I definitely like talked him down off the ledge but he was feeling like kind of you know kind of shuddered I mean, we all are when I can't give 110% to my sweet dearie.

The mother is the heartbeat of the household.

That's beautiful.

Where'd you read that, Turdy Lou?

I just made it up and I'm literally ready to write my next novella.

I'm obsessed.

Put that on a little

pillows called.

Like a tea pillow, I think it's called.

Yeah, like those ones that are stitched.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or we could put it on a baby onesie and sell it at chat morning toast.

Oh, no, toastmerch.com.

Oh my God, I love that.

The mother is the heartbeat of the household.

Okay, like I definitely feel like I made it up, but now like that you're saying it's so profound, I must have heard it somewhere.

Okay, let me Google it quickly, even though then I'm sure I'll find it somewhere.

But let me see if it's like from somewhere.

But I want everyone to know before Jackie maybe finds someone who said it, like I genuinely just thought of it and I really did make it up.

Like I did.

And there's such a thing, my new favorite term is parallel thinking.

Yeah.

Where two people can have the same thought and the same idea and neither one of them is copying the other because like we are all humans with a brain.

Because the idea of what I just said, like isn't necessarily an original thought.

You know, moms do run the household.

The mother is a heartbeat in the home.

It's not like so obvious.

Like, there is an Amazon book called Mother is the Heartbeat in the Home.

And without her, I still feel

without her, there seems to be no heart throb.

Okay, well, mine was better.

I agree.

Yours was better.

Keep it short.

Yeah, no, maybe coming to toastmarch.com too, you know, maybe.

Yeah, TBD.

So I'm so glad you're here because I wanted to tell you.

I know you already saw because I posted on my Instagram.

Ben has been in Alabama this week doing spritz stuff.

And today it actually worked out nicely.

He's going to the Bahamas for a bachelor party.

He was already south.

He was just going to go straight from Alabama to the Bahamas and he's at the airport and he texted me.

I don't have my passport.

I'm obsessed.

I'm obsessed.

Let me tell you why.

You know, obviously my heart aches for my husband, who's now in a pickle.

You know, it's one of his best friends.

I don't know how he's going to get there.

There's really, I'm useless.

There's nothing I can do.

Like, what?

I'm going to fly to the Bahamas and meet him.

Like, no, there's nothing I can do.

It's not like he's in New York.

You know, if he was at Newark, he would just have to come back to the house.

Yeah, take a later flight.

No, he is shit out of motherfucking luck.

And I can't help but wonder, you know, how, A, this wouldn't have happened if we were traveling together.

B, I feel so vindicated for every time we've traveled abroad.

And he's made me feel crazy for like my checklists and getting early to the airport and packing 24 hours before, not the day of.

Ben is always just flying by the seat of his pants, always doing things last minute and kind of irresponsibly, but I'm always there to catch him.

Like, there's never any repercussions for his kind of crazy lifestyle because I'm always there to pick up the pieces.

And today, I wasn't.

And I just can't help.

I know you guys can't see me recording, but I'm recording this with a smile.

Like, I am so, and I like obviously, like, I, my heart hurts for him.

Like, that sucks, but like, I just feel like every time he's ever, like, called me crazy or like made fun of me for, I'm so with the airport.

I'm so meticulous.

I'm so timely.

I'm probably over, overly cautious and I get mocked for it.

And look at the consequences when you are not overly cautious.

This is what happens, Ben.

So maybe the next time you think about making fun of your wife, you just lick her fucking ass for doing everything for you.

Literally, literally, I too have a smile on my face because you know I've been hearing like all of these Ben stories and I really have wanted you to punish him.

Like I want him to pay for his crimes and to feel the consequences of his actions.

And today we didn't have to lift a finger and he self-sabotaged.

No, it wasn't self-sabotage, Jackie.

Like you've been wanting me to punish him, like not invite him to this, like to make it like a punishment would have been like taking the passport out of his bag.

But the universe like rewarded me for being the bigger person, which I never am.

And like, like this was God.

Yeah.

I'm, I have to get, I have to pray.

But, like,

what is he going to do?

I don't know.

I told him, I'm like, it's Thursday.

So, why don't you just fly home?

Come get your passport, spend the night here, and leave in the morning.

And you'll be there first thing Friday morning for a bachelor party.

I don't think it's a big deal.

But Ben had this big plan.

He drove to the Pensacola airport because it was like the perfect flight to get to the Bahamas.

He was flying through Miami.

So now there's no random flights from Pensacola to New York.

He's like, really?

He's fucked.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

I have to look at a map of where Pensacola is because there are some big airports like in the panhandle.

No, and like I think he's maybe like an hour flight from Atlanta.

So you just take a flight to Atlanta and then Atlanta, you can get anywhere.

But the thing is,

the thing is,

this is not my starting point.

It's not my monkey.

Like I'm not going to be over here, you know, making travel plans, especially for somebody who's so relentlessly mocked me for years.

I'm just, I'm not going to be that girl.

Not today.

I'm busy.

You know, I'm running an empire.

My sister is sick.

Like I have other things to do.

Yeah.

Pensacola.

Oh, wow.

I see where he is.

Now, I do have, I do have like a plan I could do that does benefit me.

I think I know.

And it benefits me.

Yeah.

I told Ben, Still take that flight from Pensacola to Miami, but don't get on the second leg to the Bahamas.

Spend the night at the Shapiros or the Wine Rebs.

I will come down, spend the weekend in Florida with my family, and I'll bring your passport.

But I haven't told him that.

I desperately, I desperately want you to do that because I would love to see you.

But like, I don't know.

Like, my,

I know, you're torn between

that.

No, no, no, my taste for revenge is just as sweet as my taste for seeing you.

That's how like riled up I've been over his actions.

I know.

I don't want to help.

Like, I think it's so important that people learn from their mistakes, honestly.

And like, stuff like this happens to Ben all the time.

Like, we showed up to the airport in Florida to go home from like spending a week at your house, and he left his wallet at your house.

Like, things like this always happen.

And I don't feel like he will really learn if I'm like, and you know what?

On during that time, I got on the flight.

Like, I had Theo.

I was like, you know what?

This is a you problem now.

And it was, it was, obviously, wasn't as dire as this, but like, in situations like this, I really don't feel like fixing it for him because it, his problems will only get worse, really.

Yeah.

And you're supposed to be here next week.

So would you just stay

if you came?

Yeah, I guess.

That's not so bad.

That's really not so bad.

I'm supposed to fly to you on Thursday.

Oh, no.

I have to be in New York on Thursday for a work thing.

Oh, so no, you're not coming for a weekend to bail him out.

No, I'm not.

No, and then I have to like spend money on flights.

Like, then I'm like, you know, being bamboozled and stuff like that.

So I do think like fresh air and like a green environment is what would best for Theo right now.

While he's recovering.

Well, in his recovery.

You know, he kind of needs to like dry out down here.

Actually, drying out is exactly what he needs to not do.

That's why I've been giving him drops four times a day because if his eyes get dry, his abrasion gets worse.

Oh, okay.

But still, he should come down here for some R ⁇ R.

100%.

Yeah.

Okay.

You're not coming.

I can't believe I'm saying that.

Like, don't come, but this is so important that it's a teachable moment.

Jackie, we're on the same page.

Don't worry.

I'm not offended.

A teachable moment is what this must become.

And there is a path where he can, it's still, it's only Thursday.

He could go home.

He could see his wife.

He could check on his one-eyed son.

Thank you.

And then go on a bachelor party on Friday.

Like, since when do you need to go for like a five-day weekend on a bachelor party?

No.

No, I know.

I know.

So that's just like, you know, a win for the Naggy Bitch Wives column today.

So we can all celebrate.

Today is justice news.

Yeah.

Today in judicial news, the naggy bitch wives have won.

Attorney Lou, what's the saying?

The wheels of justice turn slowly.

So

true.

Hold on.

The wheels of, I always forget the second, the wheels of justice

grind slowly, yet they grind exceedingly well.

Exceedingly.

Exceedingly.

And that it refers to the notion of slow but certain divine retribution.

That's what this is.

It is divine retribution.

Move over divine diversion.

Divine retribution is what I seek.

And today we have it and we need to celebrate.

No, not even just celebrate.

Like take a moment.

We're always saying how important it is to acknowledge a space that we're in.

Like we

feel like I know Ben is like understanding how vital my, my presence is in his life right now.

And I'm feeling just overwhelmed with like vindication.

But also like,

like he feels dumb.

Like he feels dumb.

I know he does.

He has to.

And that feels good.

Yeah, that does feel good.

Wow.

Some great news this morning, everyone.

I'm feeling sick, but I'm feeling motivated.

Yeah,

that's all the good work that we do.

Show's over.

Like, we've accomplished what we set up to accomplish.

It's so true.

No, show's not over because we have to talk about the Vanderprim Perls episode from last night.

We have to talk about Raquel Levis sitting outside this forlorn shopping center

being approached by TMZ.

So that's what we have to do today.

Yeah.

And I personally feel like I can get right into it.

You know, my update is that I'm sick.

And

you whore.

Yeah.

And that's all for me.

And Claudia is experiencing divine retribution.

So

you know what?

So it's a win for both hosts, honestly.

It is.

It is.

So without further ado, here are the Festify stories that you need to know.

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Our first story, we're actually going to shake things up today because it makes sense for the narrative of this show and because like we're podcasting from home, we can kind of like do whatever the fuck we want.

What do you think, Turdy Lou?

I agree.

So So here's how it's going to go.

First story is VPR news because Raquel spoke to TMZ at length.

Then we're going to go into VPR recap, Vanderpump Rules recap, because we're going to be talking about these characters and like we're going to want to talk about the show.

So we're going to talk about the show.

Yeah, no, it's just for streamlining.

The TV recap starts right now.

For continuity's sake, because typically if there was like a Vanderpump story, I'd make it fifth to go into the TV recap.

But Raquel's interview to TMZ is the number one story of the day.

And Jax is the number one guy in this group.

100%.

So Raquel was caught outside her.

Raquel was, you forgot to do air quotes.

Caught.

Well, I want to talk about that.

Yeah.

But let's just go with the flow for now.

She was caught outside her local nail salon.

getting her nails done for the reunion, I presume.

And a TMZ cameraman was there asking Raquel all of the questions.

And she was feeling chatty as fuck.

It's the first time she's spoken since she put out a statement and a couple social media posts.

And she's really talking at length.

And there were a few things that she wouldn't answer because, you know, it's going to come up in the reunion.

Also, not her place to answer.

Like, what did Ariana say to her?

Like, you better not fucking tell us, you wench.

Yeah.

She didn't.

She's sitting there.

If you didn't see the video, she is wearing no makeup.

Her hood is up.

She's wearing AirPods and big glasses.

You can't see her hair.

Like, it's a very not glamorous moment for her.

No, but I think even Raquel knows.

Like, if she had set this up and showed up completely glam, people would automatically know that it was a setup.

And now, like, knowing that she looks kind of haggard, people are definitely like, well, maybe it wasn't a setup.

It's really making me question the setupness because you can see.

No, I know.

It's effective because I feel like there's a way to show up, not in glam, but like

still looking pretty.

Looking like

millions of people are going to see this video.

Like, I want to put my best, my A foot forward.

This really, like, to me, she really looks like she got caught, but maybe that's because she really wants us to believe she got caught and that she didn't call TMZ herself.

I mean, when they call, when they said, hey, Raquel, and she looked up and saw a camera, she didn't appear to be incredibly shocked.

And by the way, if it was totally caught off guard, she could have walked away.

She could have gone inside to the nail salon.

Like, she just continued to sit there.

Like, I definitely believe that it was a coordinated.

affair.

Yeah, I do too, because like TMZ doesn't just like lurk around this shopping center.

Like when they're at the airport, you know, they wait at LAX to meet some talent.

That's where Tom Schwartz was caught on TMZ at the airport.

I think he was, but he was going to Winter House.

So it's also confusing.

Yeah, but he was at the airport is what I'm saying.

Yeah, yeah.

Like I'm a great airport.

Not LAX.

No, no, but he was at the airport.

Like

airports are total, like, free-for-alls when it comes to paparazzi.

Also, like, there have been paparazzi stationed outside of Raquel's apartment building and Ariana's house.

So if it had been there, like, maybe, I don't know, this

current nail salon has so shook me.

And, you know, if I am the owner of that nail salon, I would kiss Raquel on the mouth for sitting right in front of our logo.

Bliss nails.

Bliss nails.

Like, no, bloom nails, bloom nails.

Like, what marketing?

That was, maybe Raquel owns the nail salon.

Like, that's how intentional it seemed.

Yeah, well, they could have followed her from her house, but regardless.

The story is what she said.

She talks about how she is going to the reunion today, and she posted on her story she will be in person at the reunion today.

She says that she has to take accountability for everything.

She was asked whether or not her and Tom are together right now.

And she said that

neither yes nor no, but they're just like seeing what happens.

You know, they have a few like things they obviously need to get through.

Who knows what will happen at the reunion?

They're not like saying to each other, we're together forever, we're riding through this, but they're also not being like, oh, we fucked up, like, see and never.

Right.

I think it was a pretty good answer, just being like, we can't figure that out until we like get ourselves out of the shitstorm we created, which is a good way of handling things in life, honestly.

Yeah, no, I think that's what they should be doing, but I do, I weirdly hope that they stay together.

They have to i mean that's the only way to make this whole thing worth it yeah yeah um

so her voice like you know she's very um

i mean i don't know what she's like now but as far as we've known like she's been like kind of timid and even in this most recent episode where she's standing up for herself like her voice is like shaky and she like cracks and i thought she did a pretty decent job of like handling herself and and keeping her composure although her voice did crack and it sounded like she was about to cry when she did say that like she's you know she has to take accountability for her actions at the reunion tomorrow like in the very beginning of the video video.

Yeah, her voice, she's always had like, you know, timidness in her voice, but to me, she kind of sounded like

she

is like, I don't, not on drug, not like, um,

not like high, but like on drugs, over-the-counter drugs, like, I don't know, Xanax, SSRIs, like something, because she was just like extremely like muted almost.

Muted, mellow.

Yeah, we'll see.

Like, girl, your whole world blew up.

Like, you're just sitting here talking to TMZ like it's a regular Tuesday.

No, that's actually like a decent point.

It's very possible, like, with her therapist that she was talking about, like, she got a prescription for something because I can imagine how, like, not only is your personal life, like, beyond imploding, but it's happening on a global scale.

Like, that will drive anyone to

insanity.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's like kind of what she sounded like to me.

I just like am really struggling.

I wonder if anyone else can relate to this because

so clearly are Raquel and Tom in the wrong and the scandoval thing, but we're watching, you know, TV of something entirely different.

And what I'm watching on TV, like I'm so team Raquel.

Like it's so crazy to me.

And I don't know how to balance those parallel thoughts.

No, that's actually not the right use.

Sorry.

No, there are two thoughts that are on separate tracks.

Yes.

They're actually like perpendicular thoughts because they're so different.

They're about to intersect, but they haven't, right now they're cruising and they're going to intersect.

And so you'll have to figure out how to deal with them so they're not parallel because parallel lines never intersect right i agree

and we can get into the show but what i'm doing is i'm just evaluating the show for the show's sake and if i see anything between sandoval and raquel like that's what i'm picking up on but between raquel and like the girls it is what it is and in this situation it's so crazy because literally everyone is wrong like everyone is right about one thing and wrong about another thing like raquel is right that those girls like brought her there just to like be mean girls.

And maybe they don't, you know,

their mean girl ways aren't like how they were 10 years ago when they were outright bullying Sheena.

But like to all giggle in one room and all sleep in one room together and then like, you know, say, be nice to her when she walks in and talk shit when she leaves.

And then like Lala had said, like, oh, no, we thought the galaxy lights were sick.

Like, no, you didn't.

You thought she was going to murder you.

I was so glad that they had the flashback.

So like in that situation, like I think Raquel versus the mean girls, like Raquel is right.

But then she runs outside and goes to Schwartz like, your wife is this and that.

Like, shut up.

Stay out of their divorce.

And everything between Schwartz and Katie, Raquel is wrong.

Yeah.

Then, like, Sheena, weirdly, I think that Sheena is right about the hotel thing.

Of course, Sheena's right about the hotel thing.

It's weird to me.

Like, I understand wanting to fuck with, like, being Katie and wanting to fuck with Sheena because she's been fucking with you.

And, like, oh, Sheena wants something.

I'm not giving to her.

Yeah.

But if it requires going to Mexico

to a wedding that you're not going to, to sit in your hotel room to watch from your balcony like

why would you want to do that like just to fuck with Sheena like that's illusory to me so in that situation Sheena's right Katie's wrong but Katie's right in the Schwartz situation and Sheena's wrong in every other situation when she runs outside is like your wife a ba ba ba like shut up you as well sheena and raquel need to stay out of the Bubba marriage right like up until this point Katie's biggest crime was just like really who she was associated with but like when it came to the raquel thing like like she was totally justified in her anger.

But this Sheena thing is so bizarre because like, and I, by the way, I agree with you.

I totally get wanting to stick it to Sheena.

Like, fuck Sheena, but it's making Katie look so bad.

Cause like, one, why the fuck do you want to be at the hotel?

And she's like, it's not like we're going to stand on the balcony.

And then it turns out that's exactly what she does.

And the fact that she's bringing Christina Kelly, who like clearly Sheena is still not.

Christina Kelly is literally famous for making fun of Sheena's first wedding.

So you were going, she hasn't been on the show in years.

You're bringing her back to go to Sheena's second wedding.

Like Like, I understand why Sheena would be like, get that girl.

Imagine someone you knew was making fun of your wedding.

And then someone who's like in your circle, not your friend, but like, you know, on and off, was bringing that person to be around your second wedding.

No, I know.

That's literally all Christina Kelly's known for.

So the fact that it's Christina Kelly who she's bringing is like another layer.

And it really just makes Katie look so bad.

And like everyone was pleading with her, like trying to pay her, and she wouldn't let it go.

Like she was wrong.

She made herself look really bad.

And I, and I understand the intention.

I really do.

But this is not the way to win.

If anything, it makes everyone more sympathetic to Sheena and everyone was taking her side.

And she's just like isolating herself with Lala and Christina Kelly.

And that's like not a cool crew right now.

No, it's not.

The other crew's not cool either, though.

Yeah.

So that's it.

It's everyone.

It's everyone.

And also.

From what we saw, Sheena did not ask Katie.

Like, I don't know if she ever asked her off camera or it just wasn't filmed, but like we only got like Sheena like demanding that Katie give up the room.

Not like, listen, Katie, I know you're not coming to my wedding, but I also know like you're kind of stuck with the trip.

Like I, one of my bridesmaids actually doesn't have a room.

I would love to buy it off of you.

That way you could spend the money going somewhere else and my bridesmaid gets to stay at the hotel.

Yeah, no, she went about it in the wrong way for sure because when you need something from someone and especially that person doesn't like you like you have to be

Yeah, I ask nice now watching the episode knowing what we know it was really interesting to see Tom Sandoval like so sticking up for Raquel even though I don't think that would have alerted me of anything because Tom Sandoval is like always getting involved.

That shit that doesn't, you know, require his attention.

And that was just like another thing that Tom was doing.

But for the first time in his goddamn life, he was like partially on the right side of history.

Yeah, no, and also Tom Sandoval was doing it because he likes going toe-to-toe with Lala and he likes going toe-to-toe with Katie.

Like he just likes arguing with them.

And I think at this stage in all everyone's relationship, he sees Raquel like a little sister.

And like someone didn't eat, like they were being cruel to her.

She was also like, she's dumb and drunk and she sounds like a moron and Lala is just coming in like a fucking wolf which like it's just it's overpowering and Raquel did need people to stand up for her like the way that Ariana stood up with her for her was like so nice and I think her intentions were really pure because everybody there is her friend but now in hindsight it's like wow and you turned on you betrayed this girl you're disgusting Yeah, it was just, it was a very interesting episode to watch.

And then there's like this side story of James Kennedy feeling feeling like he's being pushed out of the group.

And it's so funny.

And it's kind of odd that Sheena like invited his girlfriend to the wedding festivities, but not the wedding.

Like she's coming to the welcome party and the after party and the cocktail party, but not the actual wedding.

And I don't understand that.

Cause like I understand brides who are like, no ring, no bring.

I understand that there's like, I totally get that.

But when it's a destination wedding to invite like certain people to selected events, like that's bizarre.

Bizarre.

also they do live together though prematurely and like that is usually the policy like because not like if you said no ring no bring tom and ariana like yes

so like living together typically gets you an invite plus james is a groomsman

and a groomsman typically gets a plus one also i thought it was a little tacky that she didn't invite allie honestly and because it's destination and you know allie's upstairs in the hotel room it's like if she wasn't invited and she wasn't going to mexico fine but like knowing she's going to mexico you toss an invite because oh katie maloney's not going there's a chair right

was katie maloney before they you know stopped being friends was she a bridesmaid or just like a guest i think just a guest okay was sheena a bridesmaid in her wedding yes wow times have changed Times have changed.

And then do you watch Jackson Brittany on Watch It Happens Live?

I did.

Oh my God.

I mean, could anyone get a word in the whole time?

I felt like everyone there was like on Adderall.

Like, I think Jackson Brittany were so excited.

They had so much to say, so much to update.

And, you know, Andy, like, his style of interviewing is rushing through.

Like, oh, you have an answer?

I'm not even listening to it because I'm on to the next question.

I excited to play this dumb game that nobody cares about.

Right.

So it was like, not only was that classic Andy like rushed shtick there, it was Brittany and Jax who both have so much to say.

It's been so long.

So much has happened.

Even if the scandal of all didn't happen, we still have to like, you know, hear so much from them in terms of like updates in their lives that it was honestly like I couldn't keep up.

They kept talking over each other.

Andy kept cutting them off.

Like it was literally the episode, like the theme of the episode was Adderall because it just felt like everyone was just like non-stop talking.

Yeah, it was chaotic.

I'm not saying that they were on Adderall, by the way.

I'm just saying like that was the vibe.

When the episode started, I just felt like they were so excited to be like back at Watch Robins Live.

There's so much catching up to do.

They have a baby.

Like Jax was right about everything.

Like they're just hyped up.

They have this new podcast they're promoting.

By the end of the episode, I felt like.

I don't know if they felt this way, but I felt this way for them where like they were like, oh, we didn't miss this being spoken down to by Andy.

Like he's so condescending towards them.

He's always been so rude towards Jax, but like he was just rude to the both of them, just in his way, you know, just snide remarks about like everything that they said that was just dumb.

And by the end, I was like, I bet you they're so glad to get out of here.

Of course, you want to be on TV.

Of course, it's a good career, but like, I don't think they miss the way that Andy made them feel all those years.

I completely agree.

And I thought it was really interesting when they shared that they were asked to film at Sheena's wedding and they declined and stayed at another hotel.

And it really made me feel like even, you know, more confident in their relationship.

Like they're not clamoring to get back on TV.

Like they really are just happy and they went to enjoy the weekend and not like make it about them.

And I was, I was shocked to hear that.

Yeah.

Zach and I were watching it together and I was also just really

remarking about how normal they are as a couple.

Like when they were talking about something that Jax does that like bothers Brittany, he didn't know what she was going to say.

And then she goes, sometimes you have a hairy butt.

And we were just like cracking up.

Like Like, that's just so personal.

They're just like such regular people.

And they really defied all the odds.

I don't know how someone like Jax goes from being like a pathological serial cheater liar to being like father of the year,

husband of the year.

It's a shocking transformation.

But I really feel like like he is walking in this path and like they're really happy with their lives.

No, it was really nice to see.

I completely agree.

And I feel like Andy just wouldn't like give them that.

You know, he was like, really just trying to keep Jax in the box that he knows.

And it was like, why don't we like allow space for people?

Like, it really does seem like Jax has evolved.

And he was even, you know, self-aware enough to say, like, by the way, I'm going to talk about this skin of all thing, but like, I know how it sounds.

Like, I've been there.

I've cheated.

I've made mistakes.

So you can ask me questions, but just don't know.

I'm not dumb enough to think that like I'm better than this.

Like, I've been there.

Right, right.

So I just don't know like.

why it couldn't have been acknowledged like how much has changed and they really are the last couple standing and they have this beautiful family and they're not thirsty like they're really not yeah they're really not So I, I, they are launching a podcast.

It drops on Tuesday.

So that was like perfect time for them to come on watch what happens live and promote it.

I truly wish them all the best.

I think they're a really, really nice couple.

They seem genuinely happy and they have defied all of the odds.

So true.

I was sad to hear about them and Stasi because like it's clear that Brittany loves Stasi and like so does Jax.

And I know that the wedding was like a problem because they basically like the last minute said they weren't going and like Stasi had like paid for everyone and it was like, you know, a really small wedding and it was whatever.

Um, and you could tell that they, they were, like, both really sad that Stasi was mad at them.

It's sad.

I hope that they can forgive.

That's something that's for, that's annoying, like, upsetting, but forgivable.

Agreed.

And

I also just found it interesting to hear who Britney is like close with.

She's really close with Sheena and she's really close with Kristen Doty.

Yeah.

I just felt like everyone loved Brittany.

And then I felt like I think it's friends with all the girls still.

Ariana, too.

Yeah, yeah.

Not Raquel.

She doesn't know her.

Yeah, yeah.

No, I just, I found it, like, interesting.

Yeah, they're very much, like, still in the mix.

Yeah, even though it seems like online, like, they're not.

No, it seems like with the kids, like, the Lala, Stasi, Sheena, crew.

Yeah.

Cruz is like all their girls is his boyfriend.

Yeah, he's so cute.

All their kids are so cute.

Oh, my God.

Totally.

Cruz is so cute.

Did you see him sleeping on Santa Claus over Christmas?

No.

They took him to see Santa, but he was napping and he literally is sleeping on Santa in the pictures.

That's so cute.

Oh, also, you know, I was glad Andy asked because like I actually was really interested and struck by the conversation, the storyline that Jax had about his mom after his dad had passed away.

And I was surprised and delighted to hear that he had like made an initial, like he reached out and they connected and like hopefully they're on the road to some sort of

rapprochement.

Yeah.

That was nice to hear.

There was one other thing that they talked about.

Oh, I mean the headline from their episode is that Jax said Tom Sandoval cheated on ariana one week into their relationship with miami girl he cheated on her throughout the years he knows these things to be true yeah i mean not chalking i don't think you just like have an affair like okay but when he said does it matter if he cheated once or cheated 10 times and everyone was like no yeah no it fucking matters yeah a hundred percent either one time either you made a mistake or you're a serial like narcissist yeah it totally makes a difference like one time don't try it with me but like one time could be like i do see how people can get past that.

Forgivable

10 times you have no respect for me.

You're just get out of my house.

Get out.

Yeah, no, not the same.

Not the same at all.

Yeah.

Okay, so that's VPR for this week, Vanner Pump Rules.

They're filming the reunion today.

Right now they're getting ready.

If anybody, they're not listening.

I don't really think many of them are toasters, but what I just would like for them to do is take a breath.

Everybody is so hyped up and I'm worried they're going to ruin it by all descending and just like making themselves distracting from what we need to talk about, which is so right.

Tom, Raquel, and Ariana, like everybody else who has their opinions and is like just like shark circling, calm down, please.

You'll have your moment, but like, please do not distract from the task at hand.

Yeah, everybody needs to make themselves small.

Yeah, no, but instead they're all just going to like jump on this and and their behavior is gonna be bad too.

So like I just I don't want it to get lost what we need to talk about.

Yeah, also I don't know how because this is like kind of unprecedented.

How do you

like

schedule a reunion like this?

Because usually like you go in parts and the beginning of the season is reunion part one.

You have to open with the scandival.

You have to open this.

No, no, no.

If they if they don't open with this, I will be picketing outside of 30 rock.

Like there is,

this is unprecedented.

Like, I understand you want to tease the big stuff for the end.

There's no talking about anything before it's scandal.

There isn't.

So,

I hope they're not dumb enough to think we're going to go for that.

Agreed.

And the problem is, how do you talk about anything else?

How are we going to talk about, you know, Sheena and Brock's wedding and the hotel room drama?

Right.

It's so irrelevant now.

It's so small.

Yeah.

Or like James and Allie.

Who cares?

Who cares?

Havasu.

Havasu.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story, which is some more reality TV news?

Yes, but all I want to say is last night's episode was missing Charlie.

Like, she's now what I look forward to.

Yeah.

The thing about Charlie, though, and I was remembering when I watched Watch What Happens Vive is like, she takes aim at something, like she goes all the way.

And like she really, you know, is like a cannon, but sometimes she just like aims her

missile in the wrong direction.

Like when she went after Jax at the reunion, it's like, how do you guys even know each other?

It was so random.

And it was like, for me, that's why I was like kind of put off by her because it was clearly just like a ploy for airtime.

Yeah.

It wasn't because she felt, you know, so passionately.

But this time she got it right.

Yeah, she's just a little misguided.

But as long as we keep her aimed in the right direction, she's great.

100%.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yes.

You don't have anything to say?

It's just the first story.

Okay.

But it's more reality TV news because Diddy and his brood of seven will be getting the reality TV treatment on Hulu.

Hmm.

Sean Diddy Combs seems to be following the Kardashians to Hulu.

We hear the entertainment mogul is working with Hulu on a reality series that will feature him and his children, tentatively titled Diddy Plus Seven.

It's going to profile the entire family.

They all have businesses, even the kids, and it will feature everyone, a source familiar with the project told page six.

Diddy and his kids have already been spotted filming the show in locations such as LA and Miami, according to sources.

Honestly, up until you said Hulu, I was like, this this is weird.

Cause like reality really is like lowbrow.

But something about Hulu obviously like elevates it a lot and it makes it better.

No, and then it's not a reality show.

It's a docu series.

Docu series.

Yeah.

But like, I don't know, Diddy certainly doesn't need the money.

But I do think

this is a good family.

Like, I think Hulu needs Diddy more than Diddy needs Hulu.

Like, this is, there's, I feel like every family thinks they have a should have a reality show and there's so many flops and a lot of them don't.

And this,

I think, given that there's so many of them, they have enormous wealth, so well connected.

I'm sure they all have like good personalities too.

I do think that this is like a family ripe for reality.

I just don't think that they need it, even though Hulu definitely is elevated.

Yes, I don't think Diddy needs this, but I think it is like a really good thing to like give to his children as a springboard for whatever careers that they want to have.

And maybe they want to be in entertainment.

And it's like, this is a really great way to set them up like with actual jobs.

And if they have companies, like they said, like it's a great platform for their companies and it's a it's a good like springboard for your kids if you make the most of it no totally then they all and he has seven of them so it's not like he can ensure seven kids could be a success like just by his name alone yeah and i do believe diddy is like close with the kardashians i'm sure that like he you know is learning from the best i'm sure chris jenner is somehow involved honestly Yeah, I think it'll come down to like whether the kids have it, you know, and their dynamic is

right for TV.

But I think there's a really good chance that they do and they will be successful in this.

It's just the nature of having seven kids alone is interesting.

That's true.

And of course, the wealth is always interesting to me.

Yeah, like

I think it has every

ingredient for success.

Yeah, but you like, there are just like, I feel like a lot of case studies we could point to of famous families who have gotten reality shows who you would think like they have money, they have it all, but they genuinely weren't interesting.

Like the Bradshaw bunch never took off.

Yeah.

Even Living Lohan.

Because they each had like a couple of the ingredients,

but not all of them.

And one of those ingredients is a lot of kids.

You need a lot of kids.

You need a lot of characters.

It's an ensemble.

It's true.

It's really, it's a group effort.

Yeah.

It's a team sport.

Are you ready for our next story?

Which is actually more reality TV news.

No.

You're not ready.

Because I have to tell everyone about a brand new sponsor that we are so excited about because I feel like we've raved.

We've raved and raved about Top Golf.

And now they are joining our show as a sponsor.

It's golf.

It's not golf.

It's Top Golf.

Jackie and I actually recently had the best night out on our Nashville trip.

We took a girl's trip to Nashville and we spent the entire night at Top Golf.

It was a dream.

It was so, so fun.

The food was so good.

I think we ate our weight in.

pizza.

The food was incredible.

So were the vibes.

And we had so much fun playing golf and we were actually really good at it.

Who won?

Did you?

Yep.

You think I would forget?

Even if you're into golf, you'll love it.

If you're not into golf, it's so fun, and you can't help but get like competitive and annoying.

And then, like, everybody hates you.

That's what happened to me.

Um, we're not huge golf girlies, but it was the perfect spot for a girl's night out, and they just really have everything.

They've got you know, the clubs, the balls, the teas, the turf, um, but they also have a bunch of stuff that's not golf.

They've got great music, big targets on their fairway, huge TVs, handcrafted food, beverages, and also great spot for photos because we went to the one in Nashville.

It was gorgeous, and it wasn't particularly like warm out, but warm outside, but all of their bays are heated.

So you can go in the winter, you can go in the spring, summer, fall.

It was really like stunning.

I got like a gorgeous Instagram photo that's on my Instagram if you want to check it out.

Yes, so did we all.

Also,

it's great for girls to go alone, but it's also a great place to meet guys.

It's a great place to meet guys.

A lot of people

were planning on going again on our Nashville trip and we're all going as couples.

And we were like, what should we do on this night?

And I suggested top golf because it's literally perfect for a couples trip.

It's perfect for a couple's night out.

So they have everything that you could possibly need.

They've got food and beverage.

It's the only place you can play around and then order another round.

You can hit a slice and grab a slice.

It's all the fun of outside, but with the comforts of inside.

They have comfy, heated bays in the winter and cooled bays in the summer.

So the top golf experience is just a vibe.

It's so much fun.

It's great for a girl's night.

It's great for a couple's night.

It's great for, you know, you want to go meet guys.

Jackie's totally right.

It's golf.

It's not golf.

It's top golf.

Download their app, book a bay, and come play around.

You will not regret it and you'll get a great photo in the meantime.

Thank you, Claudia.

You're welcome, Jackie.

Sort of a progression of news throughout the week.

One, Tyra Banks has left Dancing with the Stars as a co-host.

And two, Julianne Huff is joining Alfonso Ribiero as the new Dancing with the Stars co-host.

Oh, not as a judge, as a host.

As a host.

She went from dancer to judge to now host.

ABC announced Monday that the actress and professional dancer will be returning to the Disney Plus competition series as a co-host alongside Alfonso Ribiero.

The announcement comes three days after Friday's news that Tyra Banks would exit the season, the show after three seasons.

This was like such a weird thing that happened at Dancing with the Stars.

Like they did not have a problem with their hosts.

I feel like their hosts are beloved, Aaron and Tom.

They've been around forever.

I think it was a lot of people's favorite parts of the show.

So there was like no problem to fix.

And they came in with a wrench and a screwdriver and tried to fix it.

So it was weird.

And then they replaced them with Tyra Banks.

And it just wasn't a job that Tyra Banks was built for.

Like, I think she really gave it her all, but it's just not what her skill set is best utilized to do.

So it was a flop.

And there was, and honestly, I don't know why Tyra Banks would do it.

Like the audience was just like mean to her.

Like every time she like flubbed a word, it would like go viral.

So it wasn't a fun thing for Tyra, I don't think.

It wasn't the right fit for Tyra.

And it never really needed to be fixed in the beginning.

So it was like they made this whole hoopla for what?

Yeah.

Well, now they've settled on two people who are veterans of the show in some way or another.

Yes.

And I think that they will actually be really good.

Alfonso Ribiero does a ton of hosting

on his own.

And Julianne, she does it all.

She is just, you know, a five-trick pony.

Yeah.

No, the two that they have now, I think, are perfect.

One, because Alfonso is like a American icon, like, and he's known known for like that dance.

And he has so much hosting.

He hosts America's Funniest Home Videos now, which is like in

the homes of millions of Americans.

Like, he's really like America's sweetheart.

So I think it's perfect.

Of course, Julianne Huff is like a veteran of the show.

She's a favorite of the show.

She's a very skilled dancer.

She acts, she hosts, she's perfect.

So they got to a good place.

Like, I'm fairly confident in these two, but I don't know why they like went to go fix something that wasn't broken.

Well, I think they wanted to be more diverse.

Got it.

And then they also, it was also just like a transitive, transitional time for the show because they moved to Hulu and they weren't on cable anymore.

So they were like shaking things up all around.

And I think the transition to Hulu was actually successful.

I don't know if it really affected their ratings.

I feel like it did.

I haven't heard anything about Dancing with the Stars since they are no longer a weekly show like on cable.

Maybe that's just because like I only hear about it when you and Margaret are watching it and you just didn't watch it.

But did you watch it because it moved?

I know I didn't watch it because I don't care.

Like I really tried to get into Dancing with the Stars, but like at its core, like, I just don't give a shit.

Like, I, I don't care really about dancing.

And unless they had, you know, Taylor Swift, like, there's no celebrity on there that I'm really that passionate about

to tune in.

But I do think them having Charlie D'Amelio was like a huge get for them.

And I think that really helped them during the transition to Hulu.

You keep saying Hulu.

By the way, it's Disney Plus that it's on.

Oh, my God.

Thank you for finally correcting me.

I'm so sorry.

Sorry.

I thought that like maybe there was a typo in the article, but they've said it a number of times.

No, no, I forget.

Like Hulu and Disney Plus are owned by the same parent company and the D'Amilio show is on Hulu and we were just talking about Diddy.

So I got my

wires crossed.

Thank you.

So that's exciting news.

And I look forward to seeing what Tyra does next because she is, you know, a rare talent.

And I hope she does something awesome because

I think they almost, they really, they set her up to fail.

Like they took two beloved hosts.

And I get that they wanted to be more diverse and I totally support that.

But that's like a terrible position for Tyra to be in because she's replacing two people who really didn't need to be replaced in terms of skill and in terms of like Q score.

So she just went in as like, you know, kind of the villain almost and she was set up to fail.

Yeah.

And it's like, this isn't even her area of expertise.

Like, not that it is for Aaron Andrews, but they're like typical hosts.

But Tyra, while being a host is also like a celebrity, a personality, like model.

You don't, we don't get the Tyranis that we love when she's really just reading off of a teleprompter and asking dancers how they feel.

Yeah, no, it wasn't.

She's Tyra's a star, she would be better as a judge.

Yeah, Tyra's a star.

And the part of being a host that a lot of people forget is that it's not about you.

Yes.

And it wasn't the right role for her.

And I think she would probably agree with that.

You know whose job she should have taken instead?

Who?

Chris Harrison.

100%.

She would have been amazing as the host.

Who currently hosts The Bachelor?

Jesse Palmer.

Oh, right, right.

I have not been keeping up with this season, and I just had a thought the other day.

Like, I genuinely, like, I can't believe there are people who still watch The bachelor like it's just it's crazy to me well so I follow a lot of bachelor nation you know from our heyday they're all just you know influencers parents now so I just like their content and a lot of them do still watch because they I they do like little recaps here and there so that's really how I get my information like I guess like Zach, who's The Bachelor, like he wore flip-flops and like broke up with someone when it was like, there were a lot of bugs around.

Okay, well, what I know about this season that I actually am really into is one of them, a fan favorite.

I don't know if she's still there.

I don't know where we're at currently, but like she was top four at least.

She got a home town sweets this week.

Okay, she got a hometown and she's like a really, really proud Jew.

And she took him to Katz.

They went to Sarge's and he had like his pastrami sandwich and gefilta fish and she was just like really showcasing her culture and how proud she was.

Her last name is Frankl.

Like I did love that.

I we've never had that.

Wait, I'm obsessed.

I think her name is Arielle or Arielle.

I'm not sure.

Arielle Frankl.

She was eliminated in week nine.

Fuck.

Well, she made it pretty far.

She made it to hometowns.

Yeah.

And I think, like, she was a fan favorite.

People loved her.

They were shocked that she got sent home.

Maybe she'll be on paradise.

Well, we need to find her a Jewish king.

But if she,

like, if she's, if being Jewish is so important to her, but she was falling for Zach.

I mean, you know, everyone's fallen for everyone on that show.

Like, it's not real.

It's not real.

Now we have like

Jewish.

Like, if she went to paradise, are there Jewish guys?

Adam Gottchalk was Jewish.

Obviously, he's married with a baby baby now but yeah, I feel like there's like maybe one maybe one That's funny I wouldn't know because who was the bachelor last season at I don't know the guys, but right

well I know I thought it was like a nice thing that they you know showcased she showcased that's cute.

Yeah, are you ready for our next story, which is weirdly more reality TV?

Are you okay?

No, because it's like technically Dancing with the stars is reality TV, but it's not like no, it's like it's reality competition.

Right.

This is reality competition.

American Idol judge Katie Perry is in some hot water over a comment that she made during someone's audition.

She's okay, by the way, I watched the premiere.

She's like always saying some out-of-pocket shit.

And I get it, it's hard to be like a star, and your job is really to, in this role, like hype up other people.

But she like is always making the auditions like about herself, and it's like kind of uncomfortable.

So, what did she do now?

Okay, so there was a woman who came on who she looks looks very young and she is, she's 25.

And before she kicked off her audition, she told Katie and the other judges her age, 25, and that she has three children.

Okay.

So all the judges looked really surprised and Katie Perry stood up as Luke Bryan began fanning her.

And the contestant said, if Katie lays on the table, I think I'm going to pass out.

Katy Perry said, honey, you've been laying on the table too much.

Oh my God.

Okay, wait, I want to say one thing.

I want to say one thing.

Did she mean laying on like a hospital bed table?

So at first I thought it was hospital bed and I was like, okay, whatever.

But now it sounds like, you know, get off your back.

Right, you whore.

Stop having kids.

Right.

No, that's really, that's no bueno.

That is no bueno.

So,

yeah, no, it's not good.

Especially like Katie's a mom, so I'm sure that like she said it with no malintent, like whatsoever.

But it just, you know, sometimes you have a joke in your head and then what comes out is just it doesn't land is not good um fans like quickly went to social media to express their disdain for the comment and the contestant went to tick tock and like did a video about how like it was embarrassing to have that on tv and it was hurtful i think that women supporting and uplifting other women is so cool and i think that mom shaming is super lame and i think that it's hard enough to be a mom and it's hard enough to be a woman um i definitely agree you know women should support each other like when applicable

When applicable.

Women should support each other.

Asterisk.

But like Katie as a mom, like it's just like, that's mean.

It's mean, but also like, I do think it's really important that like we recognize like Katie's intent versus her impact.

Like I actually don't.

No, I don't think that Katie is like a mom hater.

Yeah.

You know, she's like a

you only get one child sort of person.

I just think it just came out a little nasty.

We've all been there where we say something that we think is going to be funny and like it crosses the line.

Like I, I gen, they should have cut that out for sure.

Like, why are they out here making Katie look bad?

Yeah.

But Katie in the, in the, um, feels weird to call her Katie.

Sorry, Katie Perry.

Yeah.

She's like always saying like some really fucking weird shit.

And me and Ben are like when we were watching, we were like looking at each other.

She's just like low-key inappropriate.

Oh, really?

Yeah, like when there's like really young hot guys, she's like kind of weird.

Like she's just like kind of a freak.

Someone else used to do that on American Idol and I was like, this is weird.

It's just bizarre.

Yeah.

Imagine if the men did it.

Right.

Right.

So, anyways,

that was an odd moment.

And what's crazy is they have like millions of hours of footage, and they like choose to put that in.

No, somebody at the network or like in the editor's room hates Katy Perry because that is something I would have cut out if I'm like out here trying to protect Katie's image.

Yeah.

Totally.

Now are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I am.

Which is not reality TV news.

Oh, oh, wow.

Yeah.

Chris Martin says he doesn't.

Wait, who's Chris Martin?

Coldplay.

Oh, right.

Okay.

Sorry.

Oh my God.

You know when your brain doesn't work?

He says he doesn't eat dinner after when this diet goes viral.

One week after his ex-wife's controversial diet went viral, the Cold Play frontman told Conan O'Brien on Conan's podcast that he does not have dinner anymore.

He said, I stopped eating at four, and I learned that from having lunch with Bruce Springsteen.

I was lucky enough to go over there to the lunch the day after we played Philadelphia last year.

He continued, noting that he was on a really strict diet anyway.

Oops, just lost my article.

And he shared that he was inspired to make Springseeds habits his next challenge because the 73-year-old rocker looked more in shape than he did at the time.

When Bruce's wife told Chris that her husband only eats one meal a day, the singer thought, well, there you go.

Chris joked that his single meal consists of a flank of buffalo with a steroid sauce.

That's funny.

I just want to say,

the way nobody's talking about this compared to how they were talking about Gwyneth, like

it just populated, so give it a second.

Because this is selective outrage.

Let's see.

No, no, it literally just, the episode probably.

I just know.

I just know it's not going to pop off in the way that Gwyneth's whole thing did.

And this is why I don't take any backlash seriously because people don't actually care.

They just dislike certain people and they make like big kerfuffles about things that are never really about the thing they're saying it's about.

It's about the person.

And Cole Play is like a beloved band and Bruce is America's, you know, rocker.

He's street the boss.

You're so angry.

Come for Bruce.

Right.

No, if you really care, come for Bruce and come for

Chris Martin.

Diet habits, except the only thing that they might say is that Bruce didn't share that this is what he does.

Like he's not.

Well, no, but Chris Martin did.

Chris Martin did.

Chris Martin did.

Yeah, no, I'm sure they'll come for Chris Martin.

I'm sure that that's.

I don't think that they will.

I don't think that they will.

And I just, I just think that's what I'm saying.

He's literally the female Gwyneth.

This is another teachable moment.

Selective outrage is a real thing.

Yeah, but let's see how it plays out.

But one meal a day.

Hmm.

I mean, I guess.

You have a big lunch.

No, like, I guess if like your plate, like you keep going up for like for seconds, like throughout the day, that's one meal, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like if you have two, if you have dinner and you go for seconds, that's not two dinners because it's like one seating, you know?

No, no.

But I'm sure Chris Martin doesn't take seconds.

If you, okay, here's a good question.

If you could only have one meal, I don't know why you would be in this situation, but hypothetically, if you had to choose one meal to have every day that, you know, you couldn't have the others, which meal would you want to have?

I think I would have lunch at like three o'clock.

I mean, like, that makes sense time-wise, but like, I just love dinner.

Like, dinner is my favorite meal.

I

ever look forward to lunch.

I always look forward to lunch.

I'm talking about health because, like, dinner is bad because it's so close to bed, I think, for the health people.

I'm not talking about health.

I'm just saying, like, if we're picking favorites.

Yeah, no, dinner is nice, but how are you going to get through the day?

I know.

And sometimes when, like, I have a day where you have really early dinner, five o'clock dinner.

I'm always like, literally, it's 4:59.

I'm like ordering my dinner.

I cannot eat dinner.

I'm like Theo and Bruno.

Like, I cannot eat dinner fast enough.

I love dinner.

Yeah, those boys eat at five o'clock, and at 4:45, Bruno's looking at me, and I'm like, it's in the fours, Bruno.

You can't have dinner.

Yep.

By the way, the same exact experience.

At 4:45, Theo stands by the door and he stands there, seriously looking at me for 15 minutes.

I will not get up before 4:59.

Like, once the clock strikes five, it's game on.

Yeah, yeah, and these boys know it too.

A hundred percent.

They could play us like a fiddle.

Fiddle.

They're fiddlers.

Those were good stories.

You had said that they were like

You had said that the stories were like trash.

I actually thought they were pretty good.

I just said

these stories.

Ugh.

You did say that.

But sometimes, like, when I say these stories are garbage, I didn't say that.

You didn't say that.

I just said.

Stories are meh.

Yeah, yeah, meh.

But you enjoyed it.

But I enjoyed them.

Everything's meh in comparison to Scandadhal.

It's so true.

Like, we're chasing that high constantly.

We are, which is toxic, you know, because

people's lives.

And it's hard to remember that.

It's hard to keep it in play, into, in check.

Are we toxic?

No, no, I think we try and keep things in perspective like every few minutes.

Okay.

Well, that's our show.

Stay up with us on social media to find out if we're going to be audio only tomorrow.

Jax, I hope you feel better.

Like take the rest of the day, you know, give Zach all your responsibilities and just lay.

I'll take it from here.

Thank you, Turdy Lou.

Thank you for

the toast have healing restorative properties?

I feel kind of the same, but I feel stable.

Okay, she's stable.

Thank God.

I feel stable.

Okay.

Love you guys dearly.

Thank you for

dealing with no video today.

I know you miss these gorgeous faces.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast on the Monday Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Hope you guys have an amazing day, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Bye.

Love ya.

Bye.