Turdy Lou Murdaugh: Thursday, March 2nd, 2023

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast.

Happy Thursday.

Hope everyone's having a blessed, blessed day.

Hey, Jax.

How are you chewing?

I'm doing good.

Thank you so much.

Excited that it's Thursday as we descend into the weekend.

We turn to madness.

We prepare for landing.

Seatbacks up and trade tables stored.

Turdy loose.

Stowed.

They could be stored as well.

You could store them away.

In the store.

The proper term.

You know, I'm kind of like really good friends with the points guy.

The proper term is stowed.

Okay, well, you could stow.

How about we stow you?

Bitch.

How about we stow the turd?

somebody woke up a little fiery today no not at all I woke up extremely relaxed you did a lovely morning I'm looking gorgeous today you are so really no complaints I got a new sweater big big times and you know I love my sweatshirts so I'm feeling good I'm so glad how is uh how's the belly Belly's good belly is bellying belly's gonna belly I can't say belly now without thinking of that movie,

The Summers.

I turn 30.

The TV show.

Yeah, her name was Belly.

That was a plot hole.

It was a plot hole.

I mean, it's from the book, and it's really a nickname that could only be given to someone who's naturally thin

and who's never struggled with body image or weight.

I don't think a person like that really exists, but it's fiction, so we suspend disbelief.

Yeah, so other than that, all good here.

Redheads dropped this morning, so it really has been a relaxing, exciting morning.

You know, know, our passions bearing fruit, everyone getting to listen to the episode.

It's such a great episode because it's a crazy good book that is billed as a great book for book clubs.

And you're probably like, what does that mean?

Why?

Like it's so ripe for discussion.

Like so many different philosophical questions are asked.

Love that.

Love that.

And even if you didn't read the book or not, if you're not going to read the book, like you could still listen to the episode because the premise I could sum up in one minute.

And then it's a question of what would you do, Laterd?

Well, I heard the Redheads hit 70K on Instagram, which is like kind of like a really big deal.

I know.

It really, really is.

Like, we are just growing, growing, growing.

And it's really been so organic.

I was saying on the show, like, it's not like we've had a viral Redheads moment.

Like, oh my God, those crazy redheads.

It's just

word of mouth, good hard work, consistency.

Yeah, the redheads are very consistent.

It pays off.

This was our 40th episode.

40 books.

If you, I actually don't know if there's anyone who's read all 40 books because I did a call out.

I posted all 40 books recently because they're on my bookshelf.

And I said, how many have you read?

And aside from the people who host the show, I didn't see anybody who were 40 for 40.

Wow.

It's a challenge, the Redheads Challenge.

Hashtag.

Hashtag the Redheads Challenge.

Yeah.

First one to complete.

Gets a personalized video from all the Redheads.

So cute.

So sweet.

How about that?

Sweepstakes, giveaway.

Sweepstakes, giveaway.

Okay, but how do you prove that you read them all?

You know what?

We have to go by the honor system.

And we are an honor system.

Like, there's never going to, I don't want to jinx anything, but I don't think there's going to be treasonous activity within the Redheads community.

Like, we're just not that kind of community.

No, but you know what is that kind of community?

Hampton, South Carolina, where the Murdoch murders took place.

No, no, you don't have to take your things off, but like, bitch, it's happening right now.

Either keep up.

Either keep up or don't.

I'm not listening to you because I have managed to evade every single morsel of information about this trial.

I think the jury is out right now, literally.

If they

came with a verdict, I don't know yet.

Like, I don't know anything.

So I want to keep not knowing just in case I decide to dive in.

So if you would like to speak on it, let me know so I can take my headphones off.

Okay, I'm not going to, I'm going to say just one thing and I didn't even, it just sounds full of information.

I watched a trial yesterday, and then I watched Nancy Grace.

Nancy Grace has been like at the forefront of this trial.

She has like her own show where, like, during lunch breaks, my God, she is so funny.

Like, she could sensationalize

anything

right before they got back from lunch.

She had literally a six-person panel.

They were talking at first about interesting stuff, but you know, the lunch break is long, and eventually you run out of shit to talk about.

She's talking about how she was walking through the back entrance and she saw the bailiff bringing lunch to the jurors, and it was lasagna.

And carbs can make people very tired middle of the day.

That's a heavy lunch.

And what does that mean for how the prosecution is going to open back up after lunch?

And I was like, I honestly only respect for my Queen Nancy Grace.

Like, talk about understanding your job.

Like, your job is to talk.

Your job is to look into everything.

Your job is to make things interesting that might not be interesting, i.e., lasagna.

And I just wanted to say respect for what Nancy Grace is doing out here.

I have respect as well, but like, that is a suspiciously heavy lunch.

Lasagna is not a lunch.

Nancy Grace thought so as well.

Someone's trying to tire out the jurors.

I think she's onto something.

No, the thing about Nancy Grace is like, she doesn't see things the way we see things.

Like me and Nancy Grace could spend the day together and then I would recount how the day went and Nancy would recount how the day went and you would be describing two different days.

She's very perceptive.

She is perceptive, but I would say you're perceptive too, Turdy.

But she also really did like invent like the sensationalist trial vibe.

Like, you know, ever since the 90s, she's been like hunting down, you know, murderers and her headline news show.

She's kind of like an icon.

I feel like people don't talk about her enough.

And until you watch her, like,

except there was one thing that was really bothering me.

And she, I believe, is Southern.

So many people who are involved in this are Southern.

And to be honest, like, people don't talk enough about the language barrier between Southerners and non-Southerners because they kept saying girars and i'm like what is girars and then i was like i think they're saying girars i kind of like girars better you know what because girars

is not a word no totally but i was like what is a girar and everyone on the panel everyone on the panel that she hosted during the lunch break was southern so they all kept saying girars i'm like is that a person for the case who i'm not familiar with I love that.

The rural girar.

All of a sudden, it's not such a mouthful.

Right, right.

these are rural girards no uh yeah well there are parts of the town that are really rural like mozelle where the shooting took place it's like in a 2 000 acre farm that's been sold actually yeah i didn't know those things that

there was a farm there was a shooting and it's been sold um

so thankfully you haven't spoiled anything for me no this isn't a spoiler either but i did just find out um through our family chat our family chat has been really lit up about this the daily mail sent an article mozelle this farm that's like you know

belongs to the family.

And everyone in the documentary was like, you know, it's their farm.

It's been in their farm for years, yada, yada.

Literally, like,

they've only owned it for like a little while.

And what's a little while?

Like a couple of years and like before this whole thing happened.

And they didn't even buy it.

Like somebody gave it to them.

It was like a trade.

It was like really shady.

That doesn't sound shady.

That sounds more.

You don't just get a 2,000-acre farm like in a deal.

I guess when you're dealing with shady people, everything is shady.

But that kind of, like, I've actually heard of that happening where like people like trade properties.

Like if you have

no, it was like for like a thousand dollars.

Like it was like a really little amount.

And I feel like, okay, maybe shit like that happened a hundred years ago and his family was in the town a hundred years ago.

Like a crazy story.

My granddaddy lost a bit and gave up.

You know, like I could see that.

But not like eight years ago, you know?

Oh, that's interesting.

There's just a lot of interesting things.

Yeah.

I literally don't know anything.

How many episodes is the Netflix doc?

Three.

Just watch it.

And they're all under an out.

Lengy Lou, I've been so busy this week.

I think this is like my eighth podcast of the week.

I not only had to record the Redheads, I had to edit the Redheads, which you know I take very personally.

So you're just not prioritizing the toast, noted.

Yeah, no, this week the toast has fallen by the wayside.

I didn't give it all to my, I didn't give it all to the Patreon this week.

I didn't give it all to the show.

You're right, Turdy Lou.

Turdy Lou, you're right.

We sell the characters in the Mario Red House trial.

Why don't you go down to the courthouse and say, hi, y'all, I'm Turdy Lou.

No, literally, everyone has like a really southern name, like Reggie.

Like, they all have like really long, like, Ro, Ro,

Paul, Paul.

They all have, I'm Turtleoo Hoo.

You are Turtleoo Murdoch.

Even though, even though, I literally be.

Is that their name Murdoch?

Like, Richard?

Is it spelled Rupert?

Okay, so it's spelled M-U-R-D-O-U-G-H.

So it's technically Murdoch.

I get it.

It's technically Murdah.

Everyone in the documentary said Murdoch, like literally Richard, Rupert.

I did the same thing.

I did the same thing.

Rupert's family, but it's spelled differently, and it's Murdah.

Turtleoo Murdah here at your service.

Yeah, I'm here to testify.

I swear to tell the whole truth, nothing but the truth.

So help me, God.

I'm a distant cousin of the Murdah's, and I saw some things.

I did see some things.

And I would love to talk to them, Gerards.

So I've been watching the trial, and I haven't watched like a lot of trials, but I did watch the Johnny Depp one.

And the actual courtroom is so different.

This one is so small.

And like, there's so many people in it.

And they're sitting on like these wooden church pews

for hours on end.

Oh, my God.

I don't know who would volunteer to go sit there.

It looks so like I would get actually a sciatica.

You need a heating pad.

Well, they don't show the jury because they have to protect their

identities.

But I do wonder what kind of chairs the jury's sitting in because i do think that would make an impact on my decision because once i'm sitting on yeah if i'm sitting on a wooden chair with like no cushion and i can't bring my own heating pad like i'm out yeah i'm out i'm angry i'm volatile and that's gonna affect my decision in that room but in which way

i'm gonna be pissed and i'm just gonna want to get this over with that no i'm i'm gonna be wanting to get this over with so i'm gonna make the decision that i feel like is gonna move the conversation like majority probably and that's why you wouldn't be a good jar.

No, and I feel like I've said this many times.

And if I ever do get picked for a jury, like this will come back to hopefully save me.

Do not pick me for a jury.

Like, I'm extremely emotional.

I'm extremely biased.

I really don't, like, I have preconceived notions of people.

I'm very judgmental.

And I usually let those judgments carry me through.

I'm usually right, but.

I'm just saying, don't fucking pick my ass as a jury.

Even though, like, being picked on a jury like this, while it is torture, because it's, you know, months and weeks on end, you,

the opportunities that come your way, books, interviews, podcasts, money, it's kind of worth it.

Yeah, but Turdy, I don't want to destroy the narrative you've built of yourself as a horrible juror, but you also always see both sides.

I do, I do.

You might be an ideal juror.

Oh, but like, I'm also a curious little cat.

And like, you can't, you can't watch anything.

You can't talk to people.

You can't watch documentaries.

You would actually be the perfect girar for this trial.

I don't know anything.

You would be the perfect Girar.

I do wonder.

I'm sure they weren't allowed to, but like, if there's a juror who's watched one of the documentaries or saw the TikToks, like they're in the OJ case, like they were all locked in hotel rooms because it was so national.

They had no TVs, no phones, no magazines.

It was literally hell.

But I think these people go home every night.

Like, how can you really trust 15 of your peers not to just like look at something?

It's an honor system, and it's been that way for hundreds of years.

So you have to have faith in people.

Yeah, you do.

And I don't.

So that's another reason why I shouldn't be a good juror.

And it's also like,

this was a small town that this happened in, right?

Yeah, very.

And this is a very big thing.

I think they want to get it right, like for their town, for their people.

Because if they don't, then a murderer is on the loose if it's not.

Big man Murdaugh.

Alec.

Well, that's the other thing.

It's A-L-E-X.

And they call him Alec.

And they actually don't even say Alec.

They say Elec.

I find like the names in this trial to be the most infuriating part.

Like,

Alex Murdaugh is how it's spelled.

And everyone's like, Elec Murdock.

Okay.

It's so annoying.

Good to know.

So just like start for real, like, let's go.

Okay, I'm trying, Turdy Lou.

Chick-chock.

I will.

Maybe today.

Maybe today.

Well,

that's all I got.

Oh, I finished the Lucy Score sequel, like the

highly anticipated sequel to her breakout book, Things We Never Got Over.

The sequel came out like a week ago.

Oh my God, what a bad book.

I was shocked.

Like, first of all, I

not that, you know.

We know it wasn't the character you wanted to read about.

It wasn't, but like, eventually, I feel like with sequels, it never is.

And then, because I'm so used to like the people I got used to in the first book.

But then after like 10%, I'm like, you you really they really do make you like them actually ended up really liking both characters um

but my god like so cliche

so unoriginal and no sex like come on that's what we open these books for like not to be a freak but like let's just be honest with a lot let's just be honest not for

the story right so it just it I gave it a two out of five and that felt generous it was really and it was long it was just no bueno okay well thank you for the review oh also should we tell everyone how this might be like our last show?

Cause we're going to be able to retire soon.

Sure.

Jackie's banking.

Jackie thinks we're going to retire this week

to a private island.

Because I posted a link to my new fruit bowl.

And I've never, and I posted, oh, the reason why we get to retire is because it's an affiliate link, but the affiliate link system that I usually use doesn't have William Sonoma.

So I said, Turdy, does the one that you use have William Sonoma?

And it it did.

So it's Turdy's affiliate link on my page.

So we're split.

I'm getting paid.

So we're

splitting, you know, whatever comes our way, but like, literally.

Oh, we are?

Not splitting, but like, oh, we can both retire.

No, fruit ball.

So the plan was that you were going to take the money and then buy my next fruit bowl that I would drink again.

And we could just keep buying fruit bowls.

Right.

It's just like free fruit bowls for everyone.

So I literally got so many clicks all night.

I was updating Claudia with the click count.

And like, I think we can retire soon once the numbers come in.

You're gonna start calling me Returdie because I'm retired.

Returdia.

Returdia.

I could see you being retired except

the irrelevance.

I know.

It's my biggest fear.

Yeah.

No, I like what I this I'll do this still, but like maybe we even when you're retired But well, that wouldn't be retired, but it's like even if we could retire from the fruit bull sales I would rather just like get a second home, you know?

Yeah, of course, of course.

No, I don't want to retire.

I'm too young, too sprightly.

I've got too much energy, too much to say.

I genuinely enjoy this.

So me too, me too.

I think I would be sad if I retired.

I would miss this.

So instead, like maybe we'll get like a house in Aspen with our fruit bowl sales.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Yeah.

I think you're going to need to sell a few more, but sure.

Okay.

Well, I'll post another link.

Totally separate tangent, but you're just reminding me of something.

So Ben is still gone.

I'm still alone.

And literally being alone is my worst nightmare.

Like I have been filling my days.

That's why I've been reading.

Like, I've been really trying to, like, not get myself to a position where I'm reminded of how alone I am.

But, you know, I took like kind of a turn yesterday where I'm like starting to enjoy it.

Like, I don't know.

Like, it's kind of a vibe.

First of all, my house is so fucking clean.

It's like when I have a dish, I just wash it.

When I put something away, like, it's either dirty or clean.

Like, it's been so easy to keep my house clean.

I've kind of been like loving it.

I can play whatever music I want.

I don't have somebody yapping in my ear about my reading.

And I don't know.

I'm kind of telling Ben.

I'm like, yeah, maybe you should stay.

Yeah, out of sight, out of mind.

I'm kind of, kind of like an independent woman.

I love that for you, turd.

Yeah, I feel like a character in Sex in the City, honestly.

Yeah, no, being alone, I've always enjoyed it.

And especially when it like means that it's like your space and especially in an apartment, like it's all yours.

Do you want to hang on a couch?

Do you want to hang in the bedroom?

You want to go back and forth?

You want to play music throughout the whole place and not have to worry about someone's calls?

someone's calls and i'm married to like the king of calling oh my god i can't stand calls in my house i know get out with your toxic call energy no ben is always on calls and like i'm understanding like he's running a business like sure workday calls i'll always allow uh but he goes out of his way to like make more calls like a text no i'll call them and then it turns into like a 25 minute conversation always with the calls in the car oh my god it's infuriating the calls the sound of his voice has made me want to seriously rip out my my hair.

Ooh, that's not good.

I know.

So I've just been enjoying my alone time.

I want to update everyone.

That's good.

And how are your cooking adventures going?

Oh, fuck that shit.

I give up.

You should try following a recipe sometime.

Nah.

I had a bowl of cereal last night.

Believe it.

You should do like Home Chef because it literally has pictures, directions.

It's idiot proof.

It's turning proof.

It is.

I've done it before at one of those services.

Like, it's definitely idiot proof, but it just requires planning.

and that's you know i'll send you my

i'll send you my promo code so you could retire so you can get another house

um

well i'm ready to dive in are you i am ready turdy loo without further ado about turdy loo here are the fastest life stories that you need to know

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Take that control, girly.

Take back your memories.

Our first story, you're going to have to go back down memory lane to Monday night when we met Josh Popper, the summer house boxing coach, who is now reportedly dating Madonna.

Yep.

Madonna is reportedly dating her hunky boxing coach, who's 35 years her junior.

Irrelevant.

What's relevant is that his name is Josh Popper and you might recognize him from Monday night's episode of Summer House because he was flirting with Sam.

He's Sam's boxing coach.

They almost hooked up, but he didn't.

And now I guess he's dating Madonna.

By the way, 35 fuck, that is a lot of years.

Sources told...

The Daily Mail on Wednesday that Josh has been training one of Madonna's six children at his gym breadwinners in New York City

days after revealing her new face at the, quote, new face.

I think she posted that, that it was a new face.

At the 2023 Grammy Awards, the hitmaker shared photos with her suspected new beau via her Instagram story.

In the since-expired snaps, the singer could be seen cuddling up to her heavily tattooed sparring partner while pressing her lips against his shoulder and squeezing his bulging bicep.

This is gross for a million reasons, mostly because she's 35 years older than him, and this is so inappropriate and disgusting.

I kind of like don't like Madonna And

she hasn't really made it easy, especially because like last time we spoke about her, like I wasn't really alive for like the Madonna glory years.

So my really only experience as like an adult with a functioning brain when it comes to Madonna is like her being thirsty and weird and like kind of gross.

And this is just adding to the list of reasons why I'm on a fuck with Madonna.

Like this is really disgusting.

Yeah.

It's exciting like for us who

I wouldn't have cared about.

I literally have would not have cared one iota about Madonna's new young boyfriend.

Not only would it not be a story on the show, but like when I read the headline, I wouldn't even read it.

I would just like scroll past it.

Scroll, yeah.

But the fact that he was just on Summerhouse, like, what are the odds?

It's not like he was on Sharma

two seasons ago, like literally three days ago, makes it titillating.

No, it's a crazy bizarre coincidence.

He must be a really good boxing coach.

Like all of his customers just falling in love with him.

So true.

I mean, he's very handsome.

And we said he had really good energy.

Claudia was even saying he should be on Summerhouse.

Well, now he certainly should.

Yeah, I mean, they definitely need

some guys.

Do you think Madonna should be on Summer House?

I think she wouldn't say no.

And that's the problem currently with Madonna.

Agreed.

I wish her the best, honestly.

This is extremely bizarre behavior, extremely inappropriate.

How old is he?

He is 329.

And she is 64.

That's fucking gross.

That is disgusting.

Yes.

And imagine if the genders were reversed.

Imagine.

I don't subscribe.

Unlike, unfollow, gross.

Bye.

Yep.

Are you ready for our next story, which we do subscribe?

We do follow.

We do say hello because Sassy Schroeder is pregnant, expecting her second baby with her husband, Bo.

And we can add another one to the pregnancy crew for 2023.

It's shaping up to be a great year.

I was so happy when I heard this.

Like, this is so nice.

And I read her book where she talked about her first pregnancy.

And her first pregnancy was like really during a hard time for her.

She wasn't really sharing on social media because she had just gotten fired from the show.

She didn't even get to announce her pregnancy.

Like somebody who knows her leaked it.

And she said in the book, she didn't know who it was.

But like that moment was stolen from her.

So for her to be able to do this like on her own time and share her own photos and like document the journey with her podcast, like that's really, if I I feel like for her, it probably feels like a lot of this, these are first-time things.

Yeah, when I did her podcast, we were both not pregnant.

It was in like September or October.

We were talking about like, you know, she was talking about how she had a hard pregnancy and how like she wasn't looking for, like.

because it was like that and it was also because of COVID that it was very like isolating that it was like making her not looking forward to doing it again but I was like no now I'm looking forward to doing all the things that we couldn't do the first time like even just like wearing a bathing suit I never wore a bathing suit in

when I was pregnant with Harry just because I didn't go anywhere.

And you know where to go.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I hope that like now we can both like enjoy all the things that we couldn't in the first, like restaurants and, you know, if there's a wedding now.

Experiences.

Yeah.

Experiences.

And not just being like in confinement.

Right.

Which is hard enough, but as a pregnant person can, I'm sure, be like really toxic.

Yeah.

So I'm so happy for her.

Me too.

And it's shaping up to be a great crew.

Also, I forgot to mention on Patreon, Rihanna.

Rihanna.

Yeah, okay.

So who's the pregnant crew now?

Rihanna, Stasi, me,

Raven Gates,

Emily Didonato, Jackie Schimmel, Jackie Schimmel,

um,

who was I just about to say?

Oh, Whitney Carson from Dancing with the Stars.

Okay, random.

I follow her.

I like her.

She's really cute.

Okay.

It's a good crew.

It was a good crew.

And then a bunch of people just had babies.

So it's like I was following them and I was in my first trimester, but like, and they were in there last, we were technically pregnant together, but only I knew.

And also, like, let's see what else there, who else?

Right, it's still early.

It's still early.

The crew could, the crew could grow.

Yeah, I feel like I'm also only talking about influencers, really.

Yeah.

But I feel like there are celebrities that we've announced recently are pregnant.

Hmm.

Sophia Grace.

Oh, that's huge for the group.

Huge for the group.

Huge.

That's fucking crazy.

Oh, my God.

Oh, wow.

This list is so random.

Oh, Katie Stevens from the Bull Type.

How nice.

How nice.

Ryan Lochty's wife.

Love.

Oh, my God.

Throwback to Ryan Lochte.

Living Lochty.

Remember that?

No, it wasn't called Living Loch D.

It was Living Lohan.

That was the other e-show.

Remember when he had a reality show?

Yeah.

That was weird.

That was Rumor Willis.

Ryan, let's go back to Ryan Lochte.

Ryan Lochte was and is so hot.

Yeah, for sure.

And so talented.

Such a hard worker.

Good swimmer.

Yeah.

Good swimmer.

But

then he did that weird thing.

Yeah.

I forget the details, but he did something weird.

He was also like, he was a bad boy.

He was a bad boy.

But like...

He was always being compared to Michael Phelps, and Michael Phelps had the, what was his scandal?

He smoked pot.

Yeah.

Like, oh, who fucking cares but like Ryan Lochte's scandal was like kind of way worse he like

he

behaved badly at a night out in the Olympics right no no he like went to a gas station and like

let me just google it because I feel like he had

just in Rio in Rio it was

Ryan Lochte gas station oh so Jesse J is pregnant

oh yeah that's also really nice I'm so happy for her yeah me too Okay, so Ryan and a bunch of other swimmers claimed that they were robbed Sunday morning while leaving a party in a taxi.

And they claimed they were robbed by people posing as police officers, but the story varied depending on who was telling it.

And at one point, Ryan Lochte said a gun was held to his head, but later he said the gun was merely pointed in his direction.

He also initially claimed that his taxi had been pulled over, only to later say that the robbery had occurred at a gas station.

Did any of that happen?

Video footage captured over the course of the night shows the swimmers in various places.

Security camera footage shows the swimmers entering and exiting the gas station and then leaving in a taxi.

Later, security footage shows the swimmers going through a security, uh, going through security to enter the Olympic village.

A Brazilian judge who ordered that the swimmers remain in Rio noted that the group looked surprisingly calm given their claim that they had been robbed at gunpoint.

Oh, I think it was like something like they were getting back late and they were going to get in trouble and they were like drunk and they shouldn't have been.

And so they like came up with this crazy story.

Yeah, but then like they were like it became huge news while three American Olympians in Rio were were held up at gunpoint.

We have to investigate

But they were just like lying.

Yeah, that like wasn't made into as big of a deal as I remember like the Ryan Lochte pot thing.

Michael Phelps.

Thank you.

But just like throw back to the Ryan Lochte era.

Remember when he beat Michael Phelps?

Like that rivalry was kind of everything.

So you know two all-American swimmers.

I know, but it really like wasn't a rivalry because Michael Phelps is just like better.

The actual goat and Ryan Lochte is just like a really, really good swimmer.

Yeah, and like Ryan Loch D was like a really good swimmer and like also a really hard worker.

And like for like a few years, Michael Phelps went through this phase where like he was like, you know, a star and he was just like getting by on his talent.

He was coasting because he's just like more genetically

gifted.

Because he's gifted.

And like something really sad was like the last Olympics I watched like leading up to the Olympics where the qualifiers and like Ryan Loch D didn't qualify and he tried.

So like that was sad.

That was like Cody Simpson.

Yeah, but Cody Simpson wasn't already an olympian so yeah no but i mean he had his time it's not sad when's in the olympics like i'm ready next summer paris oh my god a whole year and a half 24 yeah

damn i'm sorry dirty

uh i'm ready did we just have a winter olympics must have in 2020 oh yeah nobody watched the whole thing nobody watched it was member it was last year uh i think it was in china they like had to like everything.

It was like fake snow.

It was like,

and people didn't want to support it.

It was not the vibe.

It was not the vibe.

It was actually really sad for the Olympians who like, I know, no one cared.

Tried.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Our next story is kind of crazy.

Kind of crazy.

Kind of crazy because there's a new show coming out called The Idol that is produced, directed by the creator of Euphoria, Sam Sevenson.

And he is being accused of ramping up the the sexual content and nudity of the upcoming HBO drama, The Idol, and twisting it into a, quote, rape fantasy.

So the Rolling Stone published a very damning piece about this new show, where 13 alleged members of the series' cast and crew spoke out over their discomfort with the show's new creative direction.

Quote, it was like any rape fantasy that any toxic man would have in the show, and then the woman comes back for more because it makes her music better.

One production member told the magazine of Sam's version of this new show.

Another source added, it was like, what is this?

What am I reading here?

It was like sexual torture porn.

However, HBO told PageSix that they're pleased with how production has unfolded since Sam took over the reins of the show.

Quote, the creators and the producers of The Idol have been working hard to create one of the HBO's most exciting and provocative original programs.

This show stars The Weekend and Lily Rose Depth.

The concept is like The Weekend is like this wellness guru slash cult leader, and Lily Rose Dep is this rising pop star.

And I I guess they have this like fucked up abusive relationship

where he like but I this is just from what I've read like and she keeps like coming back from where I guess she thinks it makes her the music better it's like physically abusive I think mentally just like when just fucked up shit all of it fucked up shit anyway so the Rolling Stone published this like piece 13 people speaking out about what they saw about things that were in the script that actually never were shot but just like fucked up script ideas.

Okay.

Then the weekend posted, tweeted

at Rolling Stone, like, did we make you mad?

And he put in a clip from the show where they fucking trashed Rolling Stone.

Right.

They referenced.

So he was basically saying, your article doesn't really have merit because you're just mad about what we said about you.

Said.

And it's like,

that is a really weird coincidence.

Like, did they see that and then they were mad?

Or is that just a coincidence that the art, like, I think it's, I think it's a coincidence.

And I have to see the show and like see what they're talking about.

But there is something to be said about this fucking freak, Sam Levinson.

And I think it gets really glazed over in euphoria because euphoria is like star-studded and everyone loves it.

But it's really, there are so many euphoria scenes that are so uncomfortable, especially through the lens when you're thinking about these are like juniors in high school.

And I know that they're technically adults, so like it's all fine, but like when we're supposed to be watching the show about high school teenagers, there's really fucking dark,

sexual, problematic shit.

And this guy, Sam, is definitely a fucking freak.

And so I'm inclined to believe this article.

Like I really am.

Me too.

I don't watch Euphoria because I literally watched a few minutes once and it literally made me so like depressed like for just like the children and the clips that I've seen in like the storylines that like you talk about in recap.

It's just like fucked up, unnecessary, like gratuitous and sexual.

And the idea that he's doing another show that's like taking all that to the next level and with like people who are actually adults.

I believe that it's fucked up and

is concerning.

I believe that.

I agree too.

I'm more inclined to side with Rolling Stone on this one.

And I don't think like Rolling Stone as a whole would like put together a piece with 13 witnesses just because like some TV show called them irrelevant, you know?

Yeah.

Also, it's worth mentioning that TMZ published a separate story on Wednesday that called into question the validity of Rolling Stone's sources and claimed that none of the 13 people the magazine spoke to had seen the final product of the idol, which I think.

Well, they weren't claiming that they did.

They said they saw the script.

And they could have seen bits and pieces and not like the show from beginning to end and had something to say about it.

So they could be talking about specific scenes and they could also be talking about just like script ideas and the set vibes.

But it's also worth mentioning Lily Rose Depp had glowing things to say about Sam Levinson.

She never felt so comfortable, so appreciated, so this, that.

So

I don't know.

I feel like a lot of the people that work with him, especially the young girls, like say that.

And I don't know, I just like don't, like, I have a, a, a weird feeling.

Like, I don't, I just don't believe that it's all hunky-dory.

I have a weird feeling.

She said this quote, Sam is, for so many reasons, the best director I have ever worked with.

Never have I felt more supported or respected in a creative space, my input and opinions more valued.

Working with Sam is a true collaboration in every way.

It matters to him more than anything, not only what his actors think about the work, but how we feel performing it.

Yeah, okay.

That could also, that could be true.

But then, you know, there's also something to say about what show the show like Euphoria did for Alexa Demi and Sidney Sweeney and not Cyndaya because she was popping off already, but like everyone who was a part of it.

And I think a lot of people see that and want that.

So I don't know.

Maybe this is just me being cynical because she's saying it's all good, but I'm just like not buying it.

Yeah.

I think this guy is a freak.

And I think like we all get so caught up in euphoria, but like I definitely feel weird watching it.

Like I really do.

Yeah.

I think there's, there's inappropriateness going on and, and it's highly likely that he has taken it way too far.

Yeah.

And you know who I really would love to hear from because I feel like she's the only person who like would say something is Barbie Ferreira.

Because she's not on the show anymore.

She played cat the first two seasons.

The second season, she was like barely in it and there was like a lot of rumors that her and Sam were like not vibing and she was like mad about a lot of stuff that was going down.

And then she left, and like, that's it's the biggest show.

You don't leave, you know what I mean?

Unless you're scripled and like you're

you have a backbone and you're mad about something.

I also feel like I would love to hear from her sometimes.

I'm sure she doesn't want to get a reputation for being like difficult to work with, whistleblowing.

Especially if everyone has glowing things to say about him, but I feel like sometimes what can happen is like someone who is like a really big star, even Lily Rose Depp, like

has

people in her corner, is established.

Like, she's not someone you

could fuck with or could take advantage of as easily as someone who needs this show,

brand new, coming up, doesn't know the industry.

Like, I feel like two different people on the same show could have a different experience, like, based on who they are.

No, you're right.

Like, I don't think anyone would be dumb enough to fuck with Johnny Depp's daughter.

She's protected.

You're 100% right.

Like, and she's worked for years.

She's a Chanel girl.

Like,

she

has

people and systems in place that protect her and like it's not like it's this show we're nothing for her yeah and you're right like barbie ferreira started out as an influencer

and worked her way up to the fucking met gala but it's a different background you're right so yeah and maybe zendaya has had a great experience with sam because sam wouldn't dare

right and you know uh zendaya just it came out she renegotiated her contract she will be making a million dollars an episode from euphoria episode wow good for her

anyways Which is so crazy because like

when I watch Euphoria, I actually don't like her parts.

Her parts are really the dark parts.

She's the one who struggles with addiction and like mental health.

I like the silly drama from high school you stole my boyfriend, Maddie.

Rue, when was this?

Like that's a part of the show that I like.

Like the really dark stuff I find to be really depressing.

And while it's probably like a

real for a lot of people, it honestly makes me depressed.

Yeah, I think that's the Sam Levinson stuff.

Yeah, no, the Sam Levinson stuff is like the very weird up close of Sidney Sweeney's nipples and she's a junior in high school.

Like it's fucking weird.

Yeah.

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You're welcome.

Okay, our next story is news that I find so interesting.

And if you hate royal news and you hate talking about books, you're going to fucking hate this story.

And that makes me love it.

Sarah Ferguson, Duchess Fergie,

has written her new romantic novel.

And apparently she's an established author and she writes historical fiction.

So she is turning the page with her new novel, A Most Intriguing Lady.

Sarah, whose title is The Duchess of York, tells people exclusively in this week's issue about what inspired her to incorporate a detective element in her new historical fiction novel, Out March 7th.

So this novel is literally historical fiction twisty.

It's a book that I would read.

It's about the the Duchess of Buclew, who is one of Queen Victoria's like closest confidants.

She's even in the show Victoria.

She's played by Diana Rigg from Game of Thrones.

So she's like a real person.

It's about her youngest daughters, Lady Mary and Lady Margaret.

Her youngest daughter.

Her daughters, Lady Mary and Lady Margaret, because the Duchess of York wants to write about invisible women in history.

And that is very much a trend.

You know, people find like someone who's didn't get the credit they deserve and all of a sudden we're talking about them.

So she is just like a historical fiction girly author and i swear i would see this book on my goodreads and i would read it and i would have no idea that it was written by her i i don't know if she's like uh

like i don't know if i would i would literally never in my life read this book but like if i was debating it i don't know if i could trust her to be like so unbiased you know she's been in the royal family she's seen it all she's been excommunicated she literally was exiled from the country i know well she's actually admitting that she said um not that she's not biased but that the character lady mary in his book in her book is her.

She said, I believe that Lady Mary, the real life heroine of her new book, she's so me.

And I really have explored a whole different side of me through Lady Mary.

And so now I don't worry about someone saying, oh, are you Lady Mary?

My answer is yes, you know?

She also has written a different best-selling novel called Her Heart for a Compass, where she again explores the theme of invisible women.

And she talks about how she loves historical romance.

She said, I cry at Hallmark, you know?

Just mentioning Hallmark, I could cry.

I love romance and I love the beauty of love and joy and magic.

Fergie, Duchess Fergie is like kind of having a moment in the last few years.

She's really back in the royal fold

when she was like excommunicated for so long.

Why was she excommunicated?

Because she got divorced?

Divorce, the feet pics,

the affairs.

The feet picks.

Yeah, I think the feet.

Yeah, like some guy was sucking her toes on the beach and the paparazzi caught it.

Yeah.

And it was like in the 90s.

It was kind of freaky.

And it was the 90s.

Like now we're like, get your feet, girl.

Yeah.

Get your toes sucked.

And so she divorced him.

Well, they got divorced, all that stuff.

And did she have to leave the country?

I don't know.

I don't think so.

Oh, okay.

Because also her girls were there.

She was in an episode of Friends.

Like, that is how desperate she got at one point.

Wow.

She said, quote, I have been invisible for my own self for a very long time now.

And so now I'm just beginning to sort of liberate and sort of test the waters, right?

So invisible women for me and a voice from the grave is crucial for me, which is why I chose this period in history.

Because, for example, Lady Margaret and Lady Mary, all their brothers were written about, but they weren't.

So I think my real love is to take on an invisible woman, woman from the grave and say, right, this is your story.

How would you like it to be told?

And just to tell it.

She also was quoted speaking about the queen glowingly recently and how she really looks up to her.

That's sweet.

Which is sweet.

Yeah, she's having a moment.

I am kind of living for it.

Redhead's Redhead's got to stick together.

Let me see how many pages this book is and if I would read it because I feel like I would be more inclined to read it if I didn't know that she wrote it.

You know what I mean?

For sure.

Like it'd be a fun fact you found out afterwards.

Totally.

But it was like cloud 368.

Fair.

Fair.

Okay.

I will not be reading it.

No, but you wouldn't.

You wouldn't read the best historical fiction book of the year.

I actually read a historical fiction book this year.

Which one?

Woman on Fire.

Oh, right.

And you loved it.

Really good.

Really good.

Really good.

This is called A Most Intriguing Lady if you do find yourself intrigued by the premise,

which I do.

And you know, she might have access to some docs

and some actual historical factoids that us lay people do not.

Perhaps, yeah.

So, do with that information what you will today, ladies and gentlemen.

Ladies,

are you a lady?

Uh,

that's a good question.

Are you a most intriguing lady?

No, no, no, no, no.

But am I a lady?

It depends who you ask, and it depends where I am.

In my home?

No.

That's okay.

Not even.

But,

no, I'm not a lady.

I'm not.

You are.

Thank you.

But I am not.

I would love to be.

You're not a girl, not yet a woman, not yet a lady.

Will never be a lady.

Just a turdy.

I'm not a girl.

I'm just a turdie.

Love that.

Yeah.

Our fifth and final story.

I don't even know what to call this news.

It's good news, I guess.

Good news?

No, no, no, not like that.

Oh, okay.

Not like that.

Just like

people who have done wrong doing right.

News.

Oh, I love that.

Is it a redemptive story?

Kind of, because Billy.

redemptive a word?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Billy McFarlane, the Fire Festival creator, is out of prison.

He has been, you know, out and about.

He went on Sophia with an F podcast.

And he's teaming up with Andy King, the guy he asked to, you know, perform for Latio for Evie on Water in the documentary.

Again, and now they're selling cheese sandwiches for a good cause.

Remember the cheese sandwiches?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

What's the cause?

The cause is for the Bahamian workers who didn't get paid

over Fire Festival.

So Fire Festival creator Billy McFarland is getting back into the cheese sandwich game, but don't worry, these won't come in styrofoam while you're getting screwed out of a concert in the Bahamas.

Sources close to Billy tell TMZ he recently had a reunion for the first time in five years with Andy King.

Yes, the guy who says Billy asked him to give oral sex to a customs officer to get shipments of Evian water released.

Seems all is well between them now, though, because they shot a video together promoting their newest venture, selling grilled cheeses at 7th Burger in New York City.

And the clip is pretty funny.

The video features Andy making the sandwiches, a tongue-in-cheek take on the ridiculous cheese-on-bread meals served at the Doomed Bahamas Festival.

He's also taking swigs from Evian water bottles.

TMZ is told that 100% of the sales from the April 7th event will go to the workers in the Bahamas who are still owed money from Firefest.

They also tease a Coachella trip in the video, but we're told that hasn't been set in stone yet.

That's nice.

I mean, when you brought this up, I was like ready to china.

Like, I'm so done talking about fucking Fire Festival.

Like, it was so, to me, it's like so

done over and like played out.

All the jokes and the memes and the documentaries.

Um, but this is nice.

And I think, like, a huge

part of this whole saga was really how terrible it was for the locals and the natives and the restaurants and all the people showing up.

And that's really to me, like, yeah, the people who bought tickets and didn't get what they wanted and were like stranded, that's bad too.

But, like,

the people who live there and work there and are trying to make a living and have their home be infiltrated by a bunch of like influencers, like that was a huge tragedy as well.

And so I appreciate that, that they're not being forgotten.

Honestly, I do.

I have respect for those.

I do.

Also, he's already working on another festival, but it will be based in virtual reality this time.

It's called P-Y-R-T.

Pert.

Pert?

Is that like party?

Like, I don't know.

Same letters.

I think it's like similar to fire, where it's like the only vowel is a Y and it's not even a vowel.

Oh, right.

That was probably where they went went wrong most with Fire Festival, spelling it with a Y.

Yeah, that's how you knew it was going to be bad.

Doomed.

Doomed.

So this is pert.

I definitely won't be at that one because I don't do virtual reality.

That's just like where I draw the line.

I actually recently found out that somebody I know like loosely went to Fire Festival.

And was a part of like the class action lawsuit.

And like this person, I don't really know them that well, but they like refused to talk about it.

It's like illegal because they like got something.

I want to know.

Who?

I'm not going to say.

I know, but they give me a clue.

Influencer, lay person, high school friend, Ben.

I'm not going to say it.

I'm not going to say it.

I'll tell you after.

Because they're like really weird about it.

Interesting.

I mean, I'd be weird about it too.

I'd be embarrassed.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I got conned.

Unless, yeah, unless they could parlay that into like documentary fame and followers.

Right.

Like a few of the influencers who like went all in and they actually had like a good experience, like Helen Owen.

You know, they.

Did she go?

I believe so.

Man, that's so embarrassing.

I don't know if she was in the documentary.

I just feel like I remember seeing her there.

Her there.

And they had like, they actually got a villa, and it was fine.

That's what some people.

That's why people hate influencers, like eat the rich.

Like, oh, I'm here in my villa.

I'm fine.

Yeah, but like the whole, everyone who went to the festival, like it was an expensive festival there.

Like, you know, it just kind of

was, you rolled the dice as to who actually got a house and who got a tent and who got a cheese sandwich.

That was such a crazy time, like when it was all happening in real time before the documentary came out.

Like,

that was crazy.

That was crazy.

Anyways, those are the fast eyes stories.

Feel as though you needed to know them.

I am so hungry.

What are you going to have for lunch?

Such a great question, Turdy Lou.

You know, when your stomach is so empty and like it's making that sound all the way, like the sound travels like from your belly to your butt, you know that sound?

Yeah.

It's not a fart.

I did just order groceries.

They should be here imminently, but did it, is there anything?

Is there anything good?

Oh, I mean, I could, if I got some eggs, so I've kind of been wanting to make like, you're going to vomit, so maybe take your headphones off, some like hard-boiled eggs and like make that into like an egg salad sandwich.

I actually like hard-boiled eggs, but you lost me at egg salad.

No, but I'm not going to put anything.

I'm just going to be like mashed up hard-boiled eggs with a little, close your ears, gray popan.

And bread.

No, I'm not grossed out by that.

Like, I know I would never eat it, but like, I respected.

But no, it won't be actual eggs out.

I don't like, I don't want May or anything.

I just like eggs and mustard and bread, so I'll put it together.

It's weird.

That's not like a normal thing people eat on.

I think that's weird, but then it also reminds me, like, I eat very poorly and, like, I have a really limited palate in terms of, like, things that I like.

It's very immature.

But weirdly, like, ever since I was a kid, like something I really like, there's like a few things like I eat that people are always shocked to find out, like cottage cheese.

I also really like a hard-boiled egg without the yellow with like a little fleck of salt.

I think think that's like a nice snack.

And it's like, that's so toxic diet culture, but like I actually like it.

Yeah, no, it is good.

And you wouldn't do this, like a little laughing cow cheese on the inside.

I don't know.

A little caviar.

Ooh.

I can't have caviar right now, but

or I'm also going to make some egg bites because Harry and I tore through the egg bites I made last weekend.

So I got more, I got a bunch of eggs.

So I'm going to do egg salad.

Wow.

In this climate, Richie Rich overslourged because I don't really have a lot of other protein sources.

Right, right.

It's hard.

Yeah, that's true.

I forgot about that.

Well, now with your affiliate link, you should be able to get all the eggs you want.

We shall see.

Turd will start sending Zillow links later.

Literally.

But that's our show.

First one in a while.

That's under an hour.

How long were we at?

Like 50?

No, I don't got another 10 minutes of things to say.

If we were a few minutes away,

I would pontificate about something.

Pontificate?

What does that mean?

To go on and on.

And it was a word that was used a few times in this episode of The Redheads.

And Snitch said, what does that mean?

And we said, to go on and on.

I actually learned a new word from this dumb book that I read.

And it's a word that I had heard because it's in the song Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift, mercurial.

And then it was in the book.

I'm like, let me find out what the fuck this bitch means, you know?

It means unpredictable.

Great word.

A dwindling mercurial.

Hi.

Add it to the list.

Toast words.

It's a good word.

Mercurial.

I would like to start.

I feel like my lunch is going to be a little mercurial, honestly.

Yeah, no.

I feel like my day is going to be like a little mercurial.

Turtle.

Turtle.

Okay, that's our show.

Thank you guys so much for sending to the Toast Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

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So that's Spotify, Adunstitch, or Public Radio.

I ready to cast Bucks all the places.

So if you listen to podcasts, find us at Toastley the Five Star of View about how beautiful, stunning, and wicked, how talented we are.

Hope you guys have an inclayab Thursday.

We'll see you tomorrow for Friday.

Yay!

So exciting.

Love ya.

Bye.