Alex is Guilty, Hailey is Not: Friday, March 3rd, 2023

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Toast and

Hap

Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on Strider.

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend, weekend, Friday, Friday, getting down on Friday.

There's something a little extra special about a Friday

after a week with a holiday.

Do you know what I mean?

It's like last week we coasted.

This week we're back to reality.

Yeah, this week was earned.

I thought you were going to say a Friday after a verdict.

Well, that too.

I mean, we are going to get into it, you guys.

Jackie heard your pleas.

She watched the doc.

I watched your doc just in time for the verdict to drop.

Just in time.

And so I have thoughts, and I also have a lot of questions that I'm hoping you can answer because you watched the trial.

Yeah.

But I have the necessary information now.

So I'm very glad for the verdict that came.

Yeah.

It was crazy.

That's our first story.

But that's kind of the name on everyone's lips: Murdaw.

And not just any Murdaugh, Turdy Loo Murdaw.

Turtleoo, Turtleoo, Turtleo, Turtiloo.

I like mine better.

Turdy Looia.

Turdy Loo.

That's right.

Turdy Loo.

Turdy Loo.

Wow, that was kind of like amazing.

Like, wow.

It's a power of Turtleoo.

It's the power of turtle compels you.

Wait, I just wanted to say, I remember like a few, I think maybe in December, you were saying how, like, sometimes when you go and look for the stories, like, it really puts you in a funk because, like, there's so much terrible news out there.

And I have to tell you, I know you had a really busy morning.

So I was like sending you stories.

And I went on Twitter and I saw such a disturbing video.

I cannot go on Twitter.

Like, it's Claudia.

There are so many disturbing videos on Twitter that I see every single day that are so disturbing that you'll never hear about.

They don't like really get, they're not in the news.

What did you see this nfl player was sentenced to six months in prison for um beating his wife in front of their child and she had like a ring camera and so i was like what is this video and i don't even know why i watched it but like it was he threw her literally at the tv like it was so i saw that one and the baby is in that little uh jumpy thing yeah yeah yeah oh my god and like now my day's ruined yeah um i saw one this week that i only saw on twitter of a man literally standing behind a homeless man i think it's in St.

Louis.

I saw this.

He's being filmed the whole time by some people just a little bit away.

He's like futzing with a gun the whole time trying to load it.

And he executes the man in broad daylight in the middle of the street while people look on and just film.

And film.

They don't like shout to the guy like, hey, they don't call the police.

Look out.

Nothing.

They don't call the police.

They don't get, God forbid, they get the fuck up and do something.

Right.

Oh, my God.

I saw that video too.

No.

And

this is the video.

that video is actually that episode of Black Mirror.

You know that episode where someone commits a crime in their life and then their punishment is that they have to relive

like the same day over and over again where terrible things happen to them and people just follow them.

It becomes like a museum.

Like they're at the zoo pretty much.

Like they're in the zoo and people like tourists come and just film them all day while all these terrible things happen to them.

Black Mirror was

such a a crazy show.

I know.

Like, I mean, I won't get into, you know.

Stop.

Turdy Lou, it's Friday.

Come on.

Okay, I won't bring it up.

But if you know, you know.

That was just like a crazy time, that Black Mirror, like era.

Yeah.

So many of the episodes are just so pertinent.

That one in particular, I don't know what it's called or anything, but it was just like, you don't know what's happening till the end.

So I also just spoiled it.

But it's the person's punishment for whatever crime they committed.

They every day, like they wake up, they get like amnesia the night before.

They have to live the same day over and over again where they're so confused.

Horrible things are happening to them.

And people just come and visit, and tourists come and just take videos of them the whole time.

They're like, what the fuck is this?

Well, that's a great like negative note to start the show on.

Let's let's turn.

It's Friday.

You have any plans for the weekend?

You know, I do.

Some light plans.

Nothing like set in stone, just some ideas.

I'm idea eating for the weekend.

What about you?

Nothing.

I mean, Ben got back at like one in the morning last night from LA,

and then this morning he was up at six to go to Boston and he gets back tonight.

So like, I just know he's not going to want to do anything.

So my weekends are in.

Thanks, Ben.

That doesn't sound like Ben.

You know, Ben has like actually really good social battery and physical battery.

It's where we differ the most.

I think he'll rally.

He probably just wants like a few hours to chill, but then he'll probably want to do something tonight.

I don't know.

It's like so soon, you know?

You don't know if you're ready?

I don't know if I'm ready.

No, not at all.

I understand.

Are you happy to be home?

Are you happy that he's home or are you not happy?

No, I am happy, except like I had just drifted into like a gorgeous sleep when he woke up.

Oh,

he could have stayed at a hotel.

No, I know.

And then I was up.

And then I was like, oh, I hear him.

I should say hi.

And then he was so tired, he passed out.

I'm like, bitch, I'm literally just sitting here.

That's so wrong.

It was wrong on a multitude of levels.

I was wrong for that.

Wrong.

He didn't give a rip.

When Zach wakes me up out of like a real sleep.

Jail.

Jail.

Jail time.

Jail.

Jail time should be served for that.

I always say there's a special place in hell for people who like don't, and not that Ben or Zach do this, like who don't respect other people's sleep.

But if you don't do everything in your power not to wake up the person like in the room with you, like that's not cool.

Yeah.

Like girls in camp, like when you were like taking a nap during rest hour and they were just like being loud.

Like I'm resting.

That's hard.

It's a communal space no but like have go play outside like have some respect oh wow you're one of you're turning into the teacher of the show go play outside come on seriously like i'm napping here

respect for my nap it's it's rest hour yeah i feel like camp is like really you could always tell when someone went to camp because camp is where you really learn to like play and live with others you know on a on a small and a big scale yeah like sharing a shower sharing living facilities like so how can you tell when someone went to camp when they don't respect nap time.

But you said some of the campers didn't.

But that's where they learned.

It's because it was their first summer.

It's where they learned.

Yeah, they'll learn today.

I miss camp.

Like I would literally do anything to be 15 again, like getting ready for the for the summer, honestly.

You know, it was this sort of conversation that inspired the first Camp Toast, like just missing camp, wanting to bring it back, saying, why can't we go to camp at 30?

No, and by the way, we can.

And Camp Toast was amazing, but it was different.

There's really nothing like being young, like having your parents pay for your camp, you know, at Camp Toast, you paid for it.

Not even that, having the whole summer off.

Like you're lucky if you can get a weekend now, but you have no responsibilities, no ties.

You're untethered that summer.

And two months, it wasn't even long enough.

No, I know.

And just like having really no worries in the world, like just being able to be free, be outside, run around, make friends, fall in love.

Like it was really, ugh.

Camp is so special.

I could literally, I could start the morning camp, like a new podcast all about camp and all the things I learned, all my fun experiences.

People would love that.

Ugh, I just loved camp.

How come every conversation we're having is taking a depressing turn?

Oh man, I don't know.

Why are we so negative today?

We're just depressed.

Why?

I know.

Why?

I don't know.

It's Friday.

We got to buck up.

Maybe because I ate a bagel before this and the carbs are weighing me down.

You know, I usually just have a yogurt, maybe a macro bar.

You're kind of like the jurors who ate lasagna.

I'm the juror, and now I'm just like guilty.

Literally.

But I don't know why I'm being negative.

I actually got to sleep in because you had some like hairy things to do today before the show.

So I got like an extra 45 minutes of sleep.

I look gorgeous.

I'm feeling good.

It's a little hot in here, but like whatever.

I don't know why I'm like kind of being like a negative queen.

I don't know.

Let's lean into it.

We've been so positive recently.

Oh, you're so right.

We've been so annoying.

So disgusting.

So not us.

So excited.

Joie de Viv.

Yeah, let's go back to like hating everyone and everything.

Okay.

What's next?

What else are you hating?

Well, it's actually part of our second story.

We're going to recap the story that doesn't exist,

which is the Hailey Bieber, Selena Gomez drama.

And I have some people I really fucking hate in that story.

And it's not who you guys might think.

It's not any of the major parties involved.

Can't wait to hear.

Actually, I think I know it's exactly who we think.

And it's the people that you've always hated.

And that's the Jelena stands.

Not even the Jelena stance.

Like, just anyone who's really getting themselves all bent out of motherfucking shape about three people who don't know who they are, who don't care who they are, and who literally, like, none of them have done anything.

This is just like a story created out of thin air.

And so everyone yesterday was like, can't believe you're not talking about Jelena, Haley, Kylie.

You guys are so toxic.

All those people are deeply unwell.

What the hell would we talk about?

Nothing Nothing has happened on, not Selena, not Haley, not Kylie, has even spoken or done anything since we last reported this story.

No, and even when we reported this story, our assessment was that nothing actually happened.

Like these were two isolated videos that really have nothing to do with each other.

And the only person who's acting out is Selena by like commenting on all these like victim mentality videos.

And encouraging, encouraging.

Encouraging it, but like Kylie and the crew like literally didn't do anything other than post their own stuff.

So we we reported on that initial nothingness.

Right.

And the nothingness that is spurned after.

people like it's crazy because there is so much going on in the world you know like there's so many things to get up in arms about 100 take up the cause for and you would think that there was world peace and complete quiet

based on how people are reaching and looking for something to complain about no i completely agree um so it's the it's the commoners who have made this story literally exist it's we'll talk about it that's our second story let's just just dive in.

Let's just dive in to the fast five stories that you need to know before you embark on this Friday.

And today's episode is sponsored by State Farm.

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And you know, I love that that's kind of the motto of State Farm because that's kind of the motto of the toast.

We're always saying everything is so personal.

Everything should be personal.

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It just feels better that way.

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We're so similar.

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Thank you, State Farms, for sponsoring today's very special Friday edition episode of The Toast.

And like a good neighbor, State Farm is always there.

Always there.

Thank you, Claudia.

What can I say except you're welcome?

Are we ready for our first big story?

The wheels of justice have turned.

Wow, I'm feeling really singy today.

And pretty quick for the wheels of justice, which are notoriously slow to turn, except if you look at it from the big picture, the justice wheels on the Murdoch family were slow to turn.

yes but in terms of this case you're right the jury returned in two hours and 50 minutes and the sentencing was done the next morning because last night they came back i was like oh i thought we were going to wait even for the jury till the morning and the guy said okay guilty and then he said we will do sentencing at a later date and the prosecution said oh we'll be ready at 9 30 a.m tomorrow morning preparedness

alec murdaugh has been sentenced to life in prison for the murders of his wife and son, signaling the death knell of a once-revered Southern dynasty family and its disgraced patriarch.

Murdah was found guilty yesterday of murdering Maggie and Paul at the family's hunting lodge in June 2021.

He faced between 30 years and life in prison, and he got two life sentences in what came down this morning.

Theo's snoring is just too sweet for this world.

Do you hear it?

That's not, he's not snoring.

I don't know what the fuck you're hearing.

Jackie, I'm sitting right next to him.

He's not snoring.

Okay, he stopped.

No, you're starting again.

You really don't hear it?

Shh.

Take your headphone off.

You didn't hear that.

Oh, that was a breath.

How the fuck do you hear that?

I don't know.

That's why I thought it's so loud that I'm hearing it.

That's weird.

No one else is going to hear it.

Damn.

That's crazy.

That is crazy.

What's also crazy is this whole case.

So I watch the Murda murders on Netflix.

Also, it's crazy that their last name is murder.

I know.

Everyone keeps saying murdock, but like it's not.

It's murder, and that's another way of saying murder.

Yeah, no, like there, people are saying it all different ways, and I think kind of any way goes depending on where you're from.

So murder, but murder, murder.

Yeah, murder.

I want to be

a murderer.

So the documentary was really good.

I really enjoyed having all of the information, a lot of the backstory about the family in general and then how we got to this place.

But my question is, was it established during the trial?

What was his motive for killing his wife and son?

So that was, I think, something that they struggled with.

But

there's a lot of different theories.

And I think the kind of...

most commonly believed theory is that, you know, this family was getting away with literal murder for years and corruption and financial crimes.

And it really wasn't until Paul was was so messy with the Mallory Beach murder that things started to slowly unravel and people started to look into the family and whisper in town.

And I think there was a lot of rage from Alec that his son being a moron and like a drunk idiot was going to maybe

tumble this whole, you know, house of cards down.

There's also the working theory, but I.

It's important to know that Paul was shot first.

Okay.

Thus, thus making everyone believe like he was the intended victim.

Yeah.

But, you know, Alec did request that his wife Maggie come to the house that night.

Him and Maggie at the time were not living together.

She was staying at the beach house.

It's believed that she had uncovered something.

I mean, I don't know what the fuck she couldn't have known.

She knew that they were like killing people all this time and stealing money, but that she had, she was planning on leaving him.

And he, you know, they had to literally kill their housekeeper just to get money.

Like they were not in a good financial place and divorce is very expensive.

So that could have have been another motive, although she was shot second.

So I don't really know

if that theory works for me.

I do believe it was meant for Paul.

Interesting.

And why did he want Maggie?

It was pre-planned.

Like he told Maggie, like, come to the house.

Maybe he was at the moment.

Paul was trying to step in between them and he shot him.

So that he is like a drug addict and was on and off like abusing drugs and withdrawing and detoxing, as Morgan said.

So maybe he like his actions don't make sense.

So I know that there is a Netflix documentary and an HBO Max documentary, and the Netflix one is more popular.

But from what I've heard, and my general takeaway from the Netflix documentary was I really appreciated the backstory, especially them giving a voice to Mallory Beach because her murder was so sad and so corrupt, and really they never got justice.

However, as it pertains to the trial, I think a lot more of the more pertinent like footage and, you know, witnesses and evidence is in the HBO documentary.

So if you're really interested, I would recommend that.

Okay.

Yeah.

Also, the interesting thing and why I thought they really weren't going to convict him was a few things.

One, this is a jury of his peers.

And it's very possible, like a lot of people are still very intimidated by the Murdon name and they don't want to make themselves a target.

And they could have just like swept this under the rug, but it's clear that like people in this town and the low country are just like sick of this.

Like they don't want to keep living with these people.

And them delivering a verdict in three hours is crazy, less than three hours, especially when you think about, you know, they don't immediately sit down and start talking.

They have to put them in the room and give them all the evidence and all the indictments.

Like that shit takes time.

So I would say they probably started talking maybe like an hour or two.

They had 45 minutes and they reached the unanimous guilty verdict.

That's crazy.

Yeah, I think also

The it was clear through the trial like these people don't have any money.

He's not a working lawyer anymore this has become the biggest case in the country like all the other small things that happened before didn't garner any attention so it does get swept under the mark like you can sweep this under the rug they also they don't have the power influence and money that they once did so it would be shocking if the jury were still

afraid afraid because like what power does this man have now No, the jury, they're good southern, you know, family people.

They don't want this shit in their town.

No, they don't.

And like, you're murdering our sons and daughters.

Get the fuck out of here.

Get the fuck out of here.

So I was shocked also

because, you know, the most damning evidence they had.

So when police show up after Alec calls them and he quotes, finds the bodies, what he says is that he was out visiting his parents.

He just got home.

And

he called the police.

And what he said was, I

you know, I checked their pulses and I got a gun because I thought somebody might be, might be here, whatever.

Then, as it turns out, through unlocking Paul's phone, is that the dad was on the property not only an hour before, but minutes before because they're at the kennel.

Paul is taking a video of the dogs, and you hear Alec and Maggie in the background.

So he was literally there, I think it's like six minutes before Paul was shot first.

So he lied.

And he does admit to lying, just saying, you know, he just said it and then he ran with it and he doesn't know why and he was so emotional, yada, yada.

But there is no

murder weapon.

The gun like mysteriously disappeared, you know?

Um,

and there is no like extremely clear motive.

There's like a million hypotheses where I this turnt man, but there's no clear.

So I was just really shocked because the most damning thing is the video, and that's really bad.

Like he was at the house at the time of the murder.

That's really also the fact that there was like backsplash on his shirt.

No, it wasn't that.

It was that the clothes he was wearing.

When the police showed up were different than the clothes in the video that was taken one hour prior.

But the forensic evidence couldn't was done on the shirt

The shirt that he was wearing

I Don't know when he got picked up Maybe yeah, maybe and that shirt had like stuff on it that would like the blowback from a rifle well he had said that he went to check the pulse and what the uh

what the uh prosecution said which is a really good call is you know paul was shot in the head your brains when you get shot in the head are

blown to smithereens.

They're laying on the floor.

So, no offense, what rational person is going to check the pulse of a person whose head has legitimately been exploded onto the floor?

Which is a great point as well.

Yeah.

Like when Nancy Grace went to lunch, she had an expert on, and the expert is on, you know, I've been to crime scenes where people have been shot in the head.

You have to scoop up their brains with a ladle.

That was like JFK and Jackie.

Right.

So, what the fuck is checking someone's pulse going to do, moron?

True.

And you know, Buster was there, third row.

Buster.

Yeah.

There's also a working theory that Buster did it and Alec is covering up for him.

But like Alec would never throw himself in front of the fire for anyone else.

No, or they did it together because if I'm Buster, I'm fucking pissed that my dad killed my mom and my brother.

Yeah, but like Buster's also fucking diabolical.

Like this is a family.

You can't use that logic because this is a family of deep unwellness.

Yeah.

No, we can't even get into their mindsets.

Right.

Right.

And that's why I also think there might have been things that Paul and Maggie discovered or knew

that we don't even know.

No, I think there is so much that we don't know and will never know about what went on in that family.

Yeah, I think, but what we know for certain is that he killed those two.

Yeah.

And then also like the suicide attempt with the so fucking with the cousin.

That to me like was like,

it was, I understood his plan there.

It was like to get this guy to come and look like he's about to kill him.

Instead, Alec kills this guy.

And now this guy looks like he's guilty for all the murders.

Right, right.

No,

they were like so

precise in all their criminal activity for years.

And then it was like after the Mallory Beach thing, like everything started to unravel.

And even the way that Alec handled that fake suicide and writing checks, like he was so messy

that he had to be convicted.

Yeah, but like this wasn't.

He was probably messy all along, but nobody looked into it.

Once you start looking, you see.

Even they started looking into Stephen Smith and you, and it's and it's obvious.

Buster all over it.

Buster's all over it.

Of course.

You look into Mallory Beach, like they're all over it.

The housekeeper, oh my God, like the housekeeper.

But nobody looked.

Yeah.

Because they were all being paid not to.

A hundred percent.

Buster is apparently going back to law school.

Wow.

He was kicked out for plagiarism.

I don't know.

I mean, what the fuck else is he gonna do?

He's the only one now.

Yeah.

He's got a girlfriend, which is the most shocking part of this whole thing.

Not only because he's one of the ugliest motherfuckers I've ever seen in my entire fucking life, but also because he's literally part of a family of murderers.

Like, yeah.

That's how you and he might be one himself.

Stephen Smith.

Thank you.

Yeah.

That was, excuse me.

Oh my God, such a tragedy.

Horrible.

I hope that someone was saying, I think in our family chat, I hope they open up the case into Stephen Smith again.

Yeah, I mean, when you learned about all the people they were, you know, allegedly responsible for murdering, it's like they get worse and worse.

Like Stephen Smith, this like lovely, fun, everyone loved him, young guy, his whole life ahead of him.

Same with Mallory, a sweetheart who was adored by her parents and her boyfriend.

Gloria, this lovely old woman who was so loyal to the family, like every single one.

These are fucking evil people.

And even before the murder, the way that he was stealing from poor people, from victims, from the vulnerable, that's fucking evil.

That's what evil people do.

And I know it's like, well, you could be a thief, but you're not going to be a murderer.

I don't know.

There's something inherently fucking evil about stealing from the people you're supposed to protect.

Yeah.

And I don't see the jump from that to murder as as that crazy.

No, to me, it seems like an escalating scale.

Right.

Like a natural progression.

If nothing you've ever done has ever been,

have there ever been consequences for.

Right.

And on trial, Alec did admit to those financial crimes.

And I do believe he still has to stay on trial for those.

Yeah, there's like another 70 years of jail time that he's up for with his financial crimes, but he's serving two life sentences.

He will be in jail for life.

He will be in jail for life.

I mean, a lot of people are not convinced that this man will actually be in prison for the rest of his life because he is this like shady ass lawyer and he's going to, you know, appeal.

He even requested a mistrial the second the verdict was

was called.

They think he's like this slimy lawyer.

Like there's all these different legal loopholes that he can, you know, try and work.

I don't believe that.

I think it's all caught up to him now.

I just think people are so afraid because they got away with it for so long.

Like, this is like, it's not possible that he's actually, you know, they took down the Murdaugh dynasty.

Yeah.

Unless I'm just not, I don't know in what ways they were so influential in the past.

You know, is he like the Jeffrey Epstein of the South where he has all these secrets about powerful people and, you know.

they want to protect him or just

in the past money just like paying you know cops and everyone was sort of on his payroll whether legitimately or illegitimately and so you know but the money's run out so so has the yeah so have the favors so has the influence and like where are the consequences for all the people who whose job it was to be you know law enforcers and who all looked the other way all the sheriffs and the deputies and everyone who hid their extensive you know wrongdoings where are the consequences for those people where are the consequences for like the dpl or whatever it is the nat the nature department of law yeah who didn't even call Mallory Beach's parents to tell her that right tell them that she was missing.

I don't even know if they ever called them them to let them know they didn't let them know that she was found.

She was only even found by good Samaritan boaters.

Yep.

It's as if they were all looking, but not.

Right, like looking the wrong way.

Yeah, like wanting to look like they were looking.

Because at first I'm like, wow, they got all these helicopters.

There's 20 divers.

Like this is a whole thing.

But

how can you convince all these random people to like try and not find the body?

No, I know, but you're right.

Like there,

and by the way, this is only Mallory Beach.

I'm sure there's even more infractions when it comes to Stephen Smith and Gloria.

But like, what,

where are the consequences for all the people who made this possible?

Like, of course, it's a chain of command, and starting at the top is great, but like, there's this town is riddled with corruption when it comes to law enforcement.

So, where are the consequences for that?

I don't know.

And what sled?

I meant to Google it.

I don't know.

That was so interesting from the documentary.

I'm like, what the fuck is this agency?

South Carolina Law Enforcement Division.

Okay.

Oh, okay.

So, like, NYPD.

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

That makes sense.

Glad we gotten that up.

I'm glad that the verdict was what it was.

They did, um,

while Alec was being walked out after delivering the guilty verdict, they did pan to the jury.

And everyone was freaking out, like, oh my God, they accidentally panned to the jury.

I'm pretty sure that's not what happened because about six jury seats were empty, meaning I think they were given the choice to leave if they wanted to protect their identities and stay if they didn't care

because half the jury was missing.

So I don't think everyone was like, oh my god, it was an accident.

They never follow Alec out of the courtroom because he walks past the jury to go back to prison.

They just let him go.

The camera angle doesn't go.

But yet last night after it was all over, it did follow him.

I don't think, you know, this is not something they take lightly, juror identity protection.

I think people chose to stay and people chose to leave.

Yeah, one juror already gave an interview to GMA.

Oh, what did they say?

He said he was a good liar, but not good enough.

No, those people in the south, they don't fuck around two hours.

Yeah.

This is, it's a good day for justice.

I feel like we're always reporting on the justice system failing, even though this whole fucking story

is an exercise in the failure of the justice system, how they were able to get away with this for so long.

Even though this instance is technically justice for Maggie and Paul, like it's justice for Mallory and Steven

and people who like were just railroaded by this family for so many years.

Right.

What's also really interesting that I saw somebody

point out on TikTok is that when Paul was on trial for Mallory Beach, he obviously never completed that trial because he was killed by his father, but he was represented by those two lawyers who were the two lawyers representing Alec this week or this month.

So how can two lawyers represent a guy who's on trial for the murder of their former client, Paul?

Well, they must really believe he didn't do it.

Isn't that a conflict of interest?

No, it actually sounds like all the same interests.

And he's the fit, they're the family lawyer.

No, I know, but it's just, it's weird.

No, but like individual lawyers, especially for the defense,

you can really have anyone you want.

It's like the government officials who have to recuse themselves if there's a conflict.

I think it's all lawyers if there's a conflict.

Like it's part of like your oath as a lawyer.

But what could a conflict be?

I don't know.

It's definitely a little confusing.

Yeah, but if they think that like they are defending him, they don't think that he did it.

So like he's, you know, being misaccused of killing this, their other client who they also deeply care about, like the injustice is abound.

I think it's, I think it's a conflict.

But I'm not a lawyer.

Conflict, like who is being

injusticed by that?

Paul.

Right?

Yeah.

You know what else was really interesting that Nancy Grace pointed out?

She's so wise.

There's so much we don't know because why the fuck wasn't Maggie Murdaw's family anywhere to be seen this entire month?

They did not show up in court to support, like, nothing.

Maybe

they don't want to be in the press and they don't want to be associated with the name.

Maybe no one has figured out that they're like Murdaugh relatives and they just want a quiet life.

I know, but like your family member is murdered and the murderer is on trial.

But but maybe they were like present or just didn't like identify themselves.

Do you know who everyone?

Nancy said they were not there.

And Nancy knows who everyone is.

Maybe they're old and they couldn't go.

Maybe.

I'm just saying like that's it's definitely bizarre.

It's definitely bizarre.

But I would understand like not wanting to be a part of this.

No, of course.

But I think your desire for justice for your loved one trumps your desire to not be in the spotlight yeah

riba said it best don't trust yourself to no backward southern lawyer damn and also it's like maybe if she had like a close friend or something wouldn't they know what was going on with her that they could testify to that a sister yeah yeah

there was a few people who testified for maggie like uh friends

what did they say well they said one of them was the one who said that Paul's nickname was Lil Detective because he was always finding stuff out.

And he was the one who probably uncovered something about Alec.

He was the one who found a bag of drugs taped under the coffee table.

Right, right.

Interesting.

But it was definitely a very bizarre trial.

Yeah.

It's a bizarre trial.

Remember how Alec, you know, he didn't cry when he was convicted.

He didn't cry when he got a life sentence, but he gets on the stand and he's an actor.

You know, this guy's a lawyer for 30 years.

You can't forget that.

Acting so much snot coming out of his nose.

God forbid you just wipe it on your fucking sleeve.

A juror actually passed him a tissue because it's like, eyo, sir, like, we don't need to look at this.

Damn.

So it was all just so calculated.

Yeah.

But not good, not good enough.

Not good enough.

People are...

The people from that area, they don't want this.

You know, this is a nice country family town.

They want to go back

to a time where murderers went to jail.

Yeah.

So

it was a journey, this trial.

It was a journey.

Justice for Mallory Beach, Stephen Smith, and Gloria.

Yes.

Agreed.

Are you ready for our next story?

Another journey of the week?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Selena versus Kylie, Haley, and the gals.

Honestly,

it seems like everyone versus Haley right now.

That's what the vibe is.

Well, according to The Independent, Kylie Jenner lost half a million Instagram followers this week amid the drama.

And Haley lost a shit ton too.

How much did she lose?

I think almost a million.

Like on TikTok and Instagram, she went from like 14 million to 13 million.

So you can't tell exactly how many.

And on Instagram, like 50 to 49.

That is so crazy.

Like

this doesn't exist.

No, this is not a thing except for people like talking about it and making a thing.

And even I've seen like some brands have been like, we're team Selena.

It's like,

on what?

What are you talking about?

Like, and

why are you a legitimate brand, like giving life to honestly psychotic people on the internet?

Yeah, like, cause let's backtrack.

Like, what actually happened here?

A week ago, both Haley and Selena posted a TikTok that really, I genuinely believe, had nothing to do with Selena.

Fans were quick to point out, like, you know, come to Selena's defense.

You know, it was just like typical fan delusional behavior, pointing out, out like why Kylie's video might be about Selena and why Haley's videos might be about Selena.

And what happened was that Selena commented on the video about Kylie saying, no, I love Kylie, big fan.

I don't think this is about me.

And Kylie also commented, like, this is reaching.

Calm down.

So let's put that to bed.

So Kylie, both Kylie and Selena have said Kylie didn't do anything.

Yeah, Kylie's lost half a million followers, make it makes sense.

Then the Haley one with Kendall and Justine Skye, I believe.

Haley, Selena commented, just kind of encouraging that narrative, like, I don't let this stuff get me down.

And then other people being like, oh, I've always am just sitting around feeling bad for Selena Goldman.

I was like, justice for Selena.

She commented on a bunch of them leaving hearts.

Thank you so much.

Really encouraging this victimhood that she sees herself in.

So with Haley, Selena gave her fans kind of room to run.

But with Kylie, she didn't, and they still ran.

Yeah.

She still lost half a million followers or more.

Sorry.

Yeah, no, half a million.

I don't know what the fuck is going on.

And now

every time I open my page, it's old videos of Haley popping up and being like, see, Haley was a mean girl this whole time.

And it's like, yeah, these videos are not flattering.

She's literally 16 in the videos.

Like, who fucking cares?

They're taken out of context.

Like, I'm just never going to see a video of someone from five years ago with no context and be like, wow, she's really been a bitch this whole time.

Like, I'm just, cause I'm normal.

I'm never going to do that.

I saw the craziest, most factual factual tweet that just sums it up for me.

What?

It said something like, yeah, mean girl Haley with her lifelong friend sticking up for her.

Meanwhile, Selena's beefing with her kidney donor.

Wow.

Yeah, no, I also think now the narrative has been like, Haley has been obsessed with Selena for seven years, and they're going back and finding any instance where Selena and Haley did something similar.

And there's definitely a bunch of examples you could pull where like they say something, you know, really similar, or Haley, you know, is doing something similar.

And that's because they are similar.

They're literally the same age, the same gender, and live a very similar lifestyle because they're both extremely wealthy, you know, influencer, influential/slash famous people.

Yeah.

So I don't think it's that crazy that like they both at one point in an interview said, I wish people knew my heart.

Like, that's how people talk.

That's how people talk, unfortunately.

It's not like Selena said, I'm a gagu, gaggi gagagu, and then Haley said,

like, they both just said something.

And then people are like, well, you know,

Rare Beauty, you know, donates a percentage of their proceeds to mental health funds.

So does Rode.

Everyone does.

Like, it's not these like crazy original things that Selena is doing that Haley is like copying her.

Like that's just, it's what famous young women do.

It's what they say.

They talk about mental health.

Like that's the world we live in.

Like people are reaching so hard.

And that's not like,

and people are like, are you team Selena or Team Haley?

I'm team nobody because this doesn't exist.

I'm team turdy.

I'm team getting my time back.

I have to let you know, though, and what's beautiful is that if you're not on TikTok, this does not exist.

Aside from like a few publications writing it up because they want those Jelena clicks.

I'm always, I keep being shocked when I see an update about this.

I'm like,

What?

What happened?

Still nothing.

Still nothing.

It's also worth noting that the fandom who's supporting Selena is like, Haley's been a bully and a mean girl.

And the shit they're saying about Haley right now so far exceeds the word bullying.

It's fucking evil.

It's evil.

It's so mean.

And you know what?

Like they are worse than what they're accusing Haley of being.

And they're using videos out of context from the last five years to prove some sort of point that Haley Bieber is some sort of evil wench and has been this whole time.

This is so moronic.

Like I can't, it's so difficult to even talk about because, like, nothing has happened.

I do think, though, that, like, there is some responsibility on Selena for encouraging this and encouraging millions of people to bully, like, to bully

other, two other girls.

Yeah.

Like, I don't even think this has anything to do with Kylie.

Like, and the way, I think what's happening to Kylie and the loss of followers is just honestly, like.

collateral, but it's really about Haley and Selena.

And I cannot believe we're talking about this again.

Like, seriously, somebody shoot shoot me.

Especially after they seem to have kissed and made up, and they took that picture, and multiple pictures, and everything was fine.

Like, we need to move on.

And it's best for Selena to move on, too.

Like, why does she want to keep being dragged into this narrative with her ex's wife?

Yeah, no, it's not a good look for her, especially when she was, you know, commenting on random people's TikToks, then being like, I'm taking a social media break, and then never took the break.

You know, what's also so funny is that Selena's, like, best girlfriend right now is, like, actually the Hollywood mean girl.

Who?

Nicola.

Oh my God, you're so right.

Yeah, like that, the way people think of Haley, like she's always been this mean.

She's like a nepo baby privilege, like always been a bitch bully.

When I genuinely like, I don't believe that she is that, but that's what people say about Nicola.

And there's like stuff to back it up.

And

I don't even think that Nicola cares.

I saw her post a TikTok video with you.

You say that.

Oh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that one.

She's like making this video.

It's like the sound that's going off it's a song and it goes you say that i'm really fucking boring

well that's rich coming from you yeah like she doesn't care like i don't even like for hailey like these labels are really damaging i think also because her brand is like being you know she's really like the american sweetheart like yeah

mental health whatever nicholas just like

Nepo baby living her best life like whatever need

whatever by the way that's a really good point that's a really good point it's just and i just i don't want this for selena i feel like selena has made such strides in recent years like she was she was really tied to them and i don't think she wanted it she was tied to them for so long and it's like now she's you know after her documentary she's releasing music rare beauty is so powerful it's like the biggest makeup brand in the world right now and it's like I don't really know why she would want to be dragged back into this.

I feel like that was such a bad time for her.

And she's made such strides in moving past it.

Yeah.

i don't want this for her no

i love to see her thrive outside of this narrative

remember she was spotted with that guy in italy like we were moving past we were moving past well and now my entire social media page is filled with old edits of her and justin riding bikes in venice beach like why well now she's fishing in texas with her sister so okay good that's good that's good

Yeah,

anyways, we'll see.

I can't say we'll keep you posted because as stated, we don't give a shit.

Oh, and our pigment is

wildly unpopular, which is so shocking.

Crazy.

Yeah.

Can't relate.

I really,

I hope we don't have an update.

And the only update we will give, if something actually happens.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But Haley's posting like Unbothered Queen, yesterday was Justin's birthday.

Happy 29th.

Like she's moving on.

Yeah.

She's missing on.

People were reaching so hard at the very beginning of this, like really making fake news stories.

Like Haley reposted somebody who shared Rode skincare.

And when you repost someone's story, if they have a song on it,

the song that they had gets reposted on yours.

So somebody had put up a song, and I don't know the song, but there was a version.

There was a version of that song that had come out with Selena, but the person who who shared the story initially posted the original version.

So Haley's story automatically posted the non-Selena version.

And they're like, look, she's telling Selena to calm down and not even using her song.

Chill the fuck out.

Chill the fuck out.

And then there's like all these edits with millions of views being like celebrities that have unfollowed Haley Bieber.

Rihanna, JLo.

It's not true.

People are just making stuff up.

Oh my God.

How infuriating if you're Haley Bieber.

For Haley.

Yeah.

How annoying.

No, I'm going to venture to say that Haley Bieber is the victim in this.

In this saga, and I'm completely unbiased.

I love Selena.

Love.

I love Haley.

I love Kylie.

Kylie's not even involved.

I'm saying

I have absolutely no bias.

I am just looking at this saga as a rational adult human being.

Yeah.

And if you don't agree with me, maybe you're not a rational adult.

No human being.

Right.

Because Theo's a rational adult.

Ain't that the truth?

And you know what?

He's sleeping right now.

He says, I'm bored by this story.

Damn.

This non-story.

That's what he said.

Well, you ready for our next story?

If it's the next story that's brought to you by BetterHelp.

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Yeah.

Our next story.

Matthew McConaughey's wife, Camilla Alves, was aboard the turbulent jet that dropped 4,000 feet.

So this week there was a Lufthansa flight, Lufthansa flight, Lufthansa, that was forced to land in Virginia after it was hit by severe turbulence.

The plane was bound for Germany and then landed at the Dulles airport.

And it turns out that Camila Alves McConaughey was on the flight.

She posted a clip from her seat to her 1 million Instagram followers displaying the chaos on board and sharing her experience following the emergency landing.

She said, on flight last night, plane dropped almost 4,000 feet.

Seven people went to the hospital.

Everything was flying everywhere.

To respect the privacy of those around me, that's all I'm showing.

But the plane was a chaos and the turbulence kept on coming.

At least one passenger reported the plane being struck by lightning during the flight.

They tweeted, quote, people who didn't have their seatbelts fastened got hurt mostly because it came as a surprise without the seatbelt sign on, and lightning hit the plane badly.

Camilla confirmed her flight Wednesday was the same one that was forced to land at Dulles International Airport after hitting severe turbulence over Tennessee, hospitalizing seven people.

Oh my God, that is so crazy.

First of all, that that even happened.

Yep.

And so crazy that there was a star on board.

Yeah.

I'm glad everyone is for the most part okay.

Yes.

But 4,000 feet?

That's a drop by the way that's a drop that doesn't it's you know a drop is like a second but 4 000 feet you're dropping for a long time i don't know exactly how long but that's scary it almost feels like probably you're in free fall yeah so scary imagine if you're not wearing your seatbelt oh my god no and that's why it's really so important like even though it's annoying when you're sitting just to be wearing your seatbelt always yeah it's so true because you know i feel like i don't even do that no me neither because like the seatbelt sign's not on but there's no time to get it on like it wasn't like they were experiencing turbulence and then there was just one bigger spurt of it than another like it came out of nowhere i feel like there has to be more to this than turbulence because 4 000 feet is like not

normal not normal that's not normal for turbulence so they say that the one person said it was struck by lightning but they also framed it in a way that made it seem like we don't know if this person knows what they're talking about you know yeah no because it was one rogue and like camilla didn't say our plane was struck by lightning so and right you know liftanza didn't put out a statement saying it was lightning but there clearly was something more than just turbulence.

Right.

There was probably something wrong.

Where did they fly out of?

I'm not sure.

What does this have to do with Tennessee?

It was over Tennessee when the plane was over Tennessee when this happened.

And so they landed in Virginia and they were on their way to Germany.

Oh, maybe they came out of Texas.

Isn't that where the McConaughey's live?

Yeah.

Let me.

Wow, so crazy.

Yep, departed from Austin, Texas.

I love a little deductive reasoning that was good investigative work thank you turded lou i hope like everyone recovers from their injuries this is so scary also like mental injury like the trauma of course 4 000 feet oh that's frightening do you remember that prank show yep i think about this all the time I think about this all the time.

That like pulled up that pulled, it's like a punked vibes, but it wasn't punked, punked, and they pulled a prank on Paris Hilton.

They were on a plane that like they pretended to crash.

That was like the most fucking thing.

They pretended it was going down and they like filmed her reaction.

Like if I know Paris has a lot of trauma, but to me, that's just as traumatic as like anything I've seen.

Everything's like legitimately thinking that you're dying.

It's so fucked.

Oh, and then, and it's not like, oh,

it was a near miss.

It was like, not only did I think I was dying, I was being played a prank on.

Used for

my level of trust for anything would never be the same.

How does she enter any space if it's like, oh, I was on a private jet that was bugged by some loser fucking pranksters?

How can I trust anything?

No, and like there's zero possibility that it was fake because she was freaking like the footage is so

real.

Yeah, no, and I think she was upset afterwards about duh.

I think she was like publicly upset about the fact that they had done that to her.

As she should.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's just what I was thinking about.

Well, the good news is, is that the plane landed safely and everyone's getting the help that that they need.

Yes, true.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

A little fashion justice being served.

Fashion justice.

Fashion is being served and justice is being served while Cardi B does community service in Chanel.

She says, don't commit crimes.

The rapper was ordered to complete 15 days of community service as part of the plea deal she received in September following a 2018 fight at a strip club.

And this week, she offered her Twitter fans an update on how giving back is going for her.

She shared snaps of her unsurprisingly upscale outfits before reporting for duty several days in a row.

So she tweeted some mirror selfies of her looks for community service saying, day, whatever the fuck of community service, obey the law.

I just want to say, like, the looks are so cute.

She posted this one pink Chanel bag that.

She's so funny.

I have to get this bag.

She is seriously hysterical.

She's so funny.

And of course, like, you shouldn't, you know, break the law, but she's using it to spread a good message.

Obey the law.

You know, she's using it to spread a good message.

Like, look, there are consequences

for your actions.

And I'm here paying the price.

Like, let me be a lesson.

I think this is a great moment for Cardi B.

And she's being funny.

Yeah.

Oh, and she's being funny.

And she's being fashionable.

And she's like, you know, she's doing the work.

She's doing her time.

She did the crime.

She's doing the time.

It's overall a pretty decent message.

And now I have to find the Chanel bag and she's inspired me.

She's inspiring others.

She's inspiring others.

It's true.

You love to see something good come out of something bad.

And it's like, even if you're on a community service, like

get dressed up.

Yeah, for the community.

Yeah, I mean, wear, you know,

sensible, functional outfits, but

have some style.

Add a little glamour to that community.

I love it.

That's

the service.

100%.

So,

good work, work, Cardi B.

Good work, Cardi B.

Our fifth and final story

for our fifth and final episode of the week.

Ah, a little new couple news.

Chase Stokes and Kelsey Ballarini are smooching it up in a New York City date night amid her divorce drama.

Chase Stokes and Kelsey Ballarini are making public appearances as a couple now, and they're all smiles about it.

They hit up the Rangers game on Thursday night at Madison Square Garden, and during their time in the stance chase grabbed her by the chin for a kiss real romantic stuff

their couple name is chelsea yeah i was already starting to complete their names i'm like they've been together for two weeks i was talking about them literally two days ago and i said chelsea and case yeah that's what i you heard me mom that's what i where i was going yeah yeah that it works

It works.

I'm so excited for SNL, actually.

I'm going to really try and stay up and watch it.

I'm not going to try and stay up because I know thyself.

I will be watching on Sunday and i'm really excited and i like that reel that they did like kelsey to set and they both came out yeah but did you see the um you know how they do the promos yes and they were all really bad yeah who was heidi gardner was that who was next to travis and they were like i'm travis kelsey goes you guys to know what kelse ballerini and then like heidi gardner makes a joke a little skit it's a little skit they do a few of them and they were all like dreadful no and like get let kelsey get involved like dreadful she stood there mute it was really painful and really scary scary for what might be to come.

I know.

It's always scary when you see something from SNL that's like really not funny and it puts into perspective how like these are supposed to be the greatest comedic minds of our time and like this is the best they could come up with.

Yeah.

No.

No.

I'm still gonna be optimistic.

Plus TMZ reported that Jason has been called to the stage.

It's unclear what his role will be, especially since he just had a baby girl.

But they obviously want him like front row engaging in the sketches.

And I think the rest of the fan fan will be there too.

Obviously, mama shit.

Jason has been called to stage.

Jason has been called to stage.

That's so good to know.

I totally forgot.

He has to be there.

Like we...

Yeah.

And it's like, obviously, we love him, but the Eagles fans like love him.

Like he is like a,

yeah, you know, a tri-state area legend.

He really is.

And I think everybody wants to see him up there.

shaking that thing.

Yeah, 100%.

I totally forgot, but I'm so glad that I figured he would be.

The The whole family is going to get involved.

But what was I going to say?

Oh, let's do predictions for what we think Kelsey's going to sing.

I've been watching a lot of her footage because she was on a mini tour this last week in the UK and she's saying Penthouse.

And I do think she's going to sing Penthouse.

Yeah.

It's not even my favorite one.

Okay.

This is a prediction of both what I want her to sing and what I think she'll sing.

So I'm combining the two.

Because I still think she's going to do one like acoustic rolling up the welcome mat moment and one fun pop moment.

I hope so.

I really really think so because she doesn't want to like from subject to change.

Yeah, so like heart first.

Yeah, I mean she's literally about to embark on another huge leg of the heart first tour.

I think she'll start with heart first

and then she'll strip it down.

My hope is that she sings Mountain with a View.

Me too.

Because that's my favorite song.

But then you've told me that Blindsided is pretty viral.

Oh,

miss me again.

Leave me again.

Love me.

Leave me again.

Leave me again.

Yeah.

I think that that's a like she literally sings it stripped down on the music video.

It's going to be one of those.

It's going to be one from Rolling Up the Welcome Matt, one from Subject to Change.

Pop.

This is a huge marketing opportunity for her.

And she is, you know, doing this tour.

I would, I could see a world in which she does two songs from the EP, but I do think one from Heartfirst.

I think you're right.

I think one from Heart First, I would love if she did subject to change, but like that wasn't a single.

I should probably do

I don't know the little things, maybe.

What is her most recent single from

Subject to Change?

That's a good question.

Let me tell you really quick.

I got it.

Subject to Change is so good.

Like,

it's 7 a.m.

and I'm on

the one alone.

How do you know what's a single?

See Discography.

Singles.

If you go down, I'm going down too.

I love that song.

The Little Things

is a single.

What I Have is a single.

Love is a Cowboy is a single.

And Heartfirst is a single.

I think it's going to be The Little Things.

Okay, I'll have to listen to it.

I don't think it'll be If You Go Down.

It's a little too

niche country.

And it's like, she has so much much range and it's like a a little dilly dilly of a song

okay my official my official guess is the little things

and penthouse okay my official hopeful guess is

subject to uh heart first

and

mountain with a view wait you know what let's go to what's the most played one from

Oh, that's a good question from the EP.

From the EP.

Mountain With a View is at 5.9 million.

Blindsided is 4.7.

But also the EP starts with Mountain with a View.

So you'll click that first.

But it's not like it's that other one.

What about Kent House?

It doesn't come up on top five, so then I can't see listens.

Oh, that's bizarre.

All right, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Yeah.

Or Leave Me Again.

Mountain with a View and Leave Me Again are my hopeful guesses.

Okay.

Well, no Monday.

We'll probably both be wrong.

We'll probably be wrong.

We'll probably both be wrong.

We're both a little right.

Like it'll be Little Things and Mountain with a View.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I I mean, I love Mountain with a View.

I would love if we're both right.

I would love that.

I think we're all right.

I think we're better than all right.

I think we're fabulous.

Totally, especially now that it's officially the weekend.

I know.

What are your hopes and wishes and dreams for the weekend before we let everyone go?

Oh,

fun times, memories made, restfulness achieved.

Yeah, restorativeness,

laughter, and joy.

Those are mine.

That's beautiful, Turtleohoo.

Turtle who wants to thank you all for listening to the Toast of the Monday morning show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts anywhere.

Podcast can be found.

So it's Spotify, June, Citrus, Public Radio, IRA Cox, all the places to have a listen, podcast, find us a toast of the five-star view about a beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are.

Hope you guys have an increase

Friday.

We will see you on Monday.

Have a blessed weekend.

A little bit of an update for next week as we have a short week.

Next week, we have episodes Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, because Wednesday night, I am headed to Portugal for Brian Kelly's 40th birthday.

So I am taking two days off.

Please don't kill me.

I just really want to go.

And I'm making the most of them, so I'm excited.

I get back really late Sunday night, but I am coming in Monday morning.

So I'm doing it as best as I can, missing the least amount of episodes Thursday and Friday, okay?

Understood, Turtle.

Love you guys.

Have an amazing week and stay lit and stay wickedly talented.

Love ya.

Bye.