Lies, Lies, Lies: Wednesday, February, 1st, 2023

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast.

Happy Wednesday.

It is hump day.

So appropriate because I'm

seated with three of the most humpable, lovable

sexy people I know.

It's Bryce.

It's Strece.

It's Jax.

And it's Claude.

It is.

That's so true.

Yeah, the Strice Brothers are with us, both of them in studio, like on chairs, visible to the audience watching on YouTube.

And yada welcome because these are some gorgeous boys that you're seeing today.

Yes, it feels so good.

So right.

It's been weeks.

Weeks.

It's been eternities since the Strice Brethren have been on the show and it's time today that they get their fucking asses up and work.

I know.

Like they don't even know how important, how integral to the business they are.

Yeah.

And today's episode is going to have a million views.

And literally all they have to do is sit there and look pretty.

Just like us.

Just like us.

It's not as easy as people think it is.

No.

And everyone just wants to hear from us, you know?

I know.

You can't just sit here and look pretty.

I mean, we could and it would be good.

It would be gorgeous.

But it wouldn't be great.

No, no, no, no.

Well, it's great because it's Wednesday and we've got stories.

We've also got dear toasters, you know, some conundrums to help the girlies through.

We're together.

Yeah.

We're alive.

Yeah.

What else is going right for us today?

You got a new couch.

I got a new couch this morning.

It was just delivered.

I'm so excited to like go downstairs and really tinker with it and make it my own.

A couple pillows, get it all decorated.

My living room is now coming together.

Most of the pieces have arrived, but I need to like move my TV over.

And then place some more things.

So I'm really excited about this journey.

Big things happening.

You chose a big week to come.

i'm a big girl so it's it's only right ain't that the truth okay watch your mouth when you talk to me like that okay

watch your mouth i was just like backing up everything that you say no jackie's the kind of odd one this morning like she told me she didn't like my outfit like i went into claudia's room and she was already complaining about her outfit no i just said like you know my capsule wardrobe here is not doing what it needs to be do to be doing because i i honestly am spending way more time here than i thought i ever would i thought i just like needed the bare minimum like no i need a full loop Luke, a full wardrobe.

Like we have big plans this weekend.

I'm gonna have to borrow something from you or Olivia.

Like my, my capsule collection, it's not cutting it.

Yeah.

So I just like didn't disagree with her.

She was like, yeah, you look like trash.

That's really what you said.

I didn't say you look like trash.

You just said like you're giving trashy vibes.

That's literally not what I said.

I'm not going to repeat what I said.

Because it was worse.

It was not.

It was not, but some things could be meant for the private.

No, she just like entered and was like, wow, you're so ugly.

That's what she said.

I would.

No, i'm kidding i'm kidding i can't with the fucking blasphemy the fallacies coming out of your mouth she didn't say that she just said you look wow you're putting the turd in literia that's what she said yeah that is what i said let's get real i'm so like living for our liturgia mcclurdia era the way this nickname has caught on i know i don't stop talking about it but literally every message i get is lat turd latt

um and i hope we never exit this era like the thing with you is like your nickname is always in and out of era

and fleeting like some things have lasted and stood the test of time.

That's true.

Like Councilor Snitch.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

But you didn't see that one coming.

No, none of us did.

Years and years.

I hope Leturdia is here to stay, but you never know.

You can't control.

You don't know where she'll go from here.

And that's the thing about Leturdia.

She's so mysterious.

But I will take your request and I will file it away.

And I'll let that influence my next decision.

I will.

And I also feel like every time we podcast together, like the next day on the podcast, I say something to this effect, but I have to say it again.

i'm not okay

yesterday was the hardest day of my life oh every time we podcast together here yeah

because you know taking care of harry but yesterday olivia was just so busy she had her hands tied she said can i drop

she had her hands full and she said can i drop michaela off and i said of course like i thought you know we would lay in bed like this that's the thing about michaela she loves to lay in bed and watch tv she's like my soul sister but i got like michaela on crack yesterday she had just woken up from her nap and i had to watch her She was done with laying in bed.

She was done with laying in bed.

And Olivia said, you know, you could do whatever you want with her, but she can't jump around because she got her adenoid surgery.

So like her ears are very sensitive.

She can't jump around.

I'm like, great.

I'm not looking to jump around anyways.

What did Michaela want to do?

Jump the fuck around.

She wanted to go outside.

She wanted to jump on the bed.

Like I needed this bitch to sit down.

I was so tired.

I, it was like I had worked a full day and now I had to work Michaela hours.

When her parents came to pick her up and have dinner with us, like they couldn't leave fast enough.

Like I needed everyone to go to sleep.

I needed to lay in bed i was not okay like and i and i understand

that being like a stay-at-home mom is such a privilege when i tell you it's horrendous like i never want to do it

would you rather be a stay-at-home mom or assemble chairs on the beach

shit okay so for some backstory since I feel like I haven't said this in a while, people always ask it like, it's like a dinner party question.

Like, what's the job you would least likely want to have?

And everyone's like, shovel shit at the elephant circus.

Shovel elephant shit at the circus.

Mine is 100%.

I would not want to be like a cabana boy on the beach who like sets up chairs and umbrellas in the sun.

It's too much physical labor.

I hate being outside and like it's so hot.

All of my least favorite is like walking in the sand.

It's not just like you could sooner do it at the pool.

But of course there's something out there.

The tension on the beach, walking on the beach is so hard.

Yeah, plus like carrying everything, setting it up.

That job is the amalgamation of everything I hate.

Like being physical, being hot, being outside.

So would I rather do that or to me like a lot of the elements of being a stay-at-home mom mirror that of being a cabana boy it's kind of like the same physical vibe yeah

i think i'd rather still rather be a stay-at-home mom because i get to be outside home no yeah and there's air conditioning yeah but it's it's a really good question yeah drop a comment you guys what's the job you would least likely want to have yeah And I feel like people don't think it through because everyone's always like garbage man.

It's like, really?

The garbage truck has air conditioning.

No, and like the benefits and the pay yeah you are severely well taken care of you work for the city you have great health insurance you have an ox cord like what's bad you meet lovely people i think for me and this is really specific to me and it should be the answer should be this is other people's like job and and it's like not a bad it's a great job but for my skill set and my weaknesses the thing that i would be the worst at that would like just drain me would be being a real estate broker and going around and and talking all day

and like wearing heels and like meeting new people all day and like like just no not personable but like no like just having your social battery small talk all day long yeah no that's for me that's not a job i could see you doing no and like if i showed you the apartment like here you go take a look you know it is what it is like i'm not gonna change your mind look around like i know the sub-zero fridge and all the details like i couldn't i feel like i could do it i feel like real estate agency is like a performance of sorts.

Yes, that's true.

And I could dazzle.

Yeah, you could.

You could.

I think I could do that.

I don't know if I would enjoy it.

I think it's a lot of time I'm on my heeled feet.

In the heels.

The heels.

It's not fair.

Like when I see those

selling sunset girlies, I'm like, you have my utmost source bag.

Yeah.

But I think I could do it.

And I'm also like,

another thing that is not my skill is like sales.

I don't think I would be good in sales, like trying to convince someone to buy something.

Like I'm very like, if you like it, you should get it.

No.

And if you don't need it, you probably shouldn't.

No.

And and I think also part of being a real estate agent is like, you know, relying on personal and social connections.

Like, oh, do you need a house?

Let me sell you this.

Or, oh, I just saw this great property.

You might be interested in it.

And like, for me, mixing work and like my friends, kill me.

Like, seriously, take me out and shoot me.

Yeah.

I hate to be like,

to even like seem like I'm trying to like.

gain something from a friendship, you know?

Yeah.

I hate that.

Yeah.

No, you have to be able to like work your network.

Yeah.

Your network is your net worth.

Yeah.

For me.

No.

No.

But I'm curious, you guys um drop a comment what would be the job any job in the world that you would not want to have yeah because it's so random yeah it's just based on like what your weaknesses are and what your strengths are right and i just feel like those cliched answers like once you start thinking about them they're not that bad like even shoveling at the circus okay like the shit part isn't great but the circus is a family did you see the raided showman literally and there's entertainment like i'm sure you get after hours tickets and like i'm sure you get free popcorn travel you see the world yeah it doesn't sound that bad no it doesn't So I'm just curious what other people's like death jobs are, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'll keep thinking about it.

And I'm sure other people's are like jobs that I would actually really like.

I'm sure for some people, like they could never be a teacher.

They could not be around like kids.

I would love to be a teacher.

I think I would be a really good teacher.

You know what?

You always used to say that.

And I'm was like, yeah, sure, whatever.

And now seeing you as a mom, like you're such like not the type of mom I thought you were going to be.

Like you're, not that I thought you were going to be a bad mom, like, but you're like above and beyond like the best mom ever.

And so I actually could see you, even like with Kayla, like you bring the same energy to Harry that you bring to Kayla.

Like you don't like treat Harry better because he's like technically yours.

Like you really love kids.

Yeah, I do.

I do.

And I didn't see that, honestly.

Like I didn't used to say like, I want to be a teacher.

I'm like, okay.

Pray for the camera.

Pray for the kids.

Like, like, no, I didn't see it at all.

Yeah.

But I see it now.

Yeah.

So everyone always asked, like, if you weren't a podcaster, what would you do?

And unfortunately, I think I would like probably still be in some sort of like social media marketing and like not know how to break out of it.

Yeah.

But what I should have been doing is being a teacher even if i was just like a substitute teacher substitutes are the best yeah bad teacher holly holiday from glee yeah i think if i wasn't doing this i always say like i would be a veterinarian for one literally never a veterinarian for one like i would be a private client concierge vet only to theo's needs you would study medicine so that you could cure him 100

i don't know i really don't know what i would do like i know that i would probably just like you have a job like in marketing or media because that's like what i studied in college college.

That's like what we know, but that's not what we should be doing.

No,

I should be a pop star like for real.

Yeah.

That's my dream.

I guess that's technically what you're doing now.

Like not really.

As close to it as you can make yourself get.

I always say like when I am, you know, about to go on stage at Madison Square Garden, like.

I'm so honored and humbled to be there, but like I wish it was for singing.

Like I, and I love doing comedy.

Okay.

What if like whenever you get your biggest venue, whatever that's going to be next, like it's going to be for your tour.

But what if you just like came out just backup dancers no and like yeah just did a concert i think i think everyone would be really understanding i think at first they would be confused and then like once they saw the talent and the passion they would get on board they would be understanding like okay we know mcclurt and she's living her dream like we love that for her we'll we'll take this l for her yeah yeah yeah i think we'll catch the special online yeah i think they'd be understanding too yeah think about it but that is like my absolute dream because people are always like you must be living your dream and i totally am but like i do feel like part of me is like missing out like on, I, all I ever wanted to be was a pop star.

I feel like maybe you should work it into every set, like an intermission or something where you just get to live out your dream for a few minutes.

Or like, I'll end the show because I want it to be like perf.

I want the show to be perfect.

And then I'll be like, come back and be like, by the way, you guys can leave.

Like, I'm going to do another 30 minutes just singing.

But this is not mandatory.

Feel free to leave.

Feel free to go get a drink.

I think they'll stay.

I think they'll stay too.

Maybe not the husbands.

But they need to drive home.

So true.

They'll wait.

That's it.

They'll wait in the car.

Yeah.

Listen to the toasts.

Literally.

So we've got a great show today.

Uh,

I don't have anything really else.

Oh, I'm watching Ginny and Georgia,

and you know, people are like begging me to recap it.

They're like,

I saw one comment, yeah, I did.

Begging, like, pleading.

Claudia, please.

I'm only on like episode four or five.

And like, it's not really like a substantial show that you can recap, like where you can have intellectual conversations about it.

It is so bad, but it's like incredible.

I love Georgia.

I can't with Ginny.

I think that's the point.

Like, she's like this angsty teen who's just being so dumb.

Like, and Georgia's like this, you know,

teen mom who like, you know, hustles hard.

And I just, I love Georgia.

And I just want Ginny to be nice to her mom.

I just, it's basically a TV show about like a kid who's mean to their mom.

And I, I feel like I saw enough of that growing up.

I hate people who are rude to their parents.

And it's definitely triggering me.

Hmm.

Yeah.

But I do think you would like it.

That's what Olivia said.

Olivia watches it too.

I think you would like it.

I don't know if I have it in me to give it a chance.

So, you know, for you, like whenever you see that guy, what's his name?

Richard from

the bull type, that actor.

You know, when you see him in like a Hallmark movie or a TV show, like, you know, it's going to be your type of show.

Yeah.

I realized last night I have one of those.

Who?

The character

who plays Jason Street in Friday Night Lights.

Yeah.

He's in Heart of Dixie.

He's also the mayor in this show.

I know if he's in a show or a movie, I'm going to like it.

Yeah, that's good.

And it's so funny.

I don't know why.

Like, I have this like weird connection to him.

Like, maybe because because i was really moved by his story when i saw him in friday night lights as a young girl but um

whenever i'm reading a book i i always find a character who i imagine is him he was in something else recently like something real also the fuck is his name yeah i'm on my jason street actor

his name is scott porter oh that sounds right and he is in

Everything.

Heart of Dixie, Friday Night Lights, Ginny and Georgia.

But there's something

else.

Oh, he was in Why Women Kill.

We loved that show.

I did love that show.

Who was he?

Season one or two.

That is so weird.

I loved that show.

Hold on.

Let me think.

There was like the couple in the 50s.

Scott.

And then Lucy Lou.

And then like the modern day couple.

It must have been a different season because I didn't finish it.

It might have been season two, which was really terrible.

I didn't finish it.

It was really, really bad.

Let me look for a picture.

Oh, oh.

He was married to that girl from America's Next Top Model and they murdered him.

Spoiler alert.

Remember her?

Oh, he was the abusive

bad husband.

He was very good.

Oh, that was kind of like a departure for him, too.

He was in a new role.

He was a new role.

Yeah.

Because he's only like,

he must have like an agent who specializes in trash.

Whatever that agency is, where he's like, you need to get a job in.

You need to get signed.

That's your dream job.

That's my dream job is to like be in like Hallmark

sappy.

Except like, again, know thyself and your skill set.

Like I would not be good.

As an an actor?

As an actress.

What do you mean?

I'm not a good actress.

Really?

Yeah.

Don't say that.

I hate to say it.

And I know that the craft doesn't require much.

It doesn't.

But I'm not good.

I think I could be like an incredible actress.

I think you could too because you're very dramatic.

Like, I'm not a good actress.

And I'm comfortable saying that.

No, but I feel like you, like, you and I will go somewhere and we'll like be with people or whatever.

And we'll get in the car.

And I'll be like, I fucking hated that.

And you'll be like, really?

What?

Like, I thought you were having a good time.

Like, I think I'm a good actor, like, in everyday everyday life.

Yeah.

Like, Ben is always like, we'll get in the car and be like, fuck, like, let's get home.

He's like, I thought you were having a good time.

Yeah.

That, like, even my own family believes me.

Yeah.

I think.

I think they've got the skill set for it.

I just, I feel like I could, I think I can act like in everyday life, you know, when I need to behave.

Uh,

but

when it's intentional and like dramatic, like, I have nothing to give.

I mean, actors are just, they're just liars.

Yeah.

And I'm not a liar.

No, I am.

I lied to you yesterday.

You did.

I asked her if she, she was getting in my bed, like while I was out.

She just wanted to like relax in my bed because her room was occupied.

And I asked, it just was like, did you shower last night?

And she was like, no.

I was like, oh, but you bathed.

And she was like, yeah.

I wasn't expecting the follow-up question.

At first, I was going to tell the truth.

You were like, did you shower?

I was like, no.

Like, I wasn't even silly or sweaty.

And like, I was fine.

And Jackie was like.

I guess to Jackie, the concept of me showering was so inconceivable.

She just assumed that I bathed.

Yeah.

Because my room has a tub.

We were talking talking about how you were excited to take a bath at night.

So Jackie was like, oh, so you bathed.

I was like, oh, yeah.

So it just went along with the lie.

And then I told her a few hours later that I lied.

I just.

After she had been in my bed.

And I'm not going to lie.

Like, she was upset.

There.

No, I just don't like that you lied to me.

I wasn't planning on lying, but you kind of like cornered me with the, with this follow-up question.

I did not.

Like, so what?

I didn't bathe.

Like, who cares?

I'm literally.

No one, but you made it a big deal by lying about it, right?

Isn't that what you always say?

It's not the crime.

It's the cover-up.

That is what i always say i really believe that too i just felt like it was truly a harmless little white lie yeah except like and not in a negative way but maybe it's just because like you're a different person when i got into my bed last night like oh shut up seriously shut the fuck up your bed was fine i laid on top of the covers in my clean pajamas like don't even start like don't even start a detective like i would have known someone else is in my bed that day you're such a little scoundrel like don't even lie to me like that don't i literally i did have the thought i'm not going to.

It's not, this isn't a lie.

But it might have just been like, you were just saying.

You were just saying that two minutes ago that you don't lie.

So don't start now.

I don't.

That's our no.

Don't fucking start now.

You're such a liar.

I literally had the thought when I put my head to my pillow.

I was like, someone else was in here today.

Wow, I guess there's two liars on set today.

Bryce and Treis.

Rise and Trice.

These boys lie through their teeth.

Oh, mom, I didn't have dinner yet.

Yeah.

To dinner, Bryce.

Actually, you know, Bryce did yesterday kind of chug my Diet Coke.

Was he up all night with the zoomies?

I couldn't believe he drank my soda.

I dropped all night tending to his mother because I had a migraine.

Terrible.

And he was like, Mama, can I get you a cold compress?

Mama, do you want your eye massager?

I was like, yes, Bryce, please.

And Mama,

Bruno lives in the 1930s.

Yeah, my whole household does.

We have Mama and Papa.

Totally.

Mama, Papa.

I have Papa.

Oh, yeah.

Not Papa.

Yeah, you have Pap.

It's funny how, like, intonation is everything, you know?

It really is.

So let's get to it because we kind of got a big show.

Lots of stories, some drams, and then dear toast stars which i'm excited about so without further ado to do to do about the strew to do to dos here are the past five stories that you need to know and i'm so excited because we have a brand new sponsor today one that's very near and dear to our labias it is european wax center sponsoring today's episode break away from the winter blues with a wax from the experts book a service today at european wax center dot at european wax center period all it takes period period all it takes is 15 minutes whether you're jet setting or just staying at home get the quick refresh you deserve in 15 minutes or less and extend your smooth at home with our post wax phase each one is designed to complement your wax and maintain silky smooth skin all winter long so whether you're like a regular waxer or you want to get into it i feel like jackie's been waxing for so long and i've only recently started to get into waxing because it's obviously the better choice for hair removal and i was like kind of nervous about it Margo is obsessed with the European Wax Center.

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T.Y.

Yad Welks.

First story, a little world tour news.

Beyonce announces Renaissance World Tour dates for summer 2023.

The superstar performer announced her highly anticipated Renaissance World Tour on Wednesday.

Beyonce will kick off the U.S.

leg on July 12th in Philadelphia with subsequent stops in cities including Chicago, New York City, Boston, Atlanta, Miami, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Houston, and New Orleans, among others.

So this is very exciting.

I think it's been a while since Beyonce has been on tour and now she's doing it.

There's a lot of world tours going on.

I feel like there are a lot of world tours going on and I wonder if they have to like navigate around each other.

Like, do you think Beyonce like waited a little bit?

Cause it's summer 2023.

It's like kind of when Taylor starts.

Like, do you think she had to like not accommodate, but like, you you know she didn't want to do it too close to taylor and like have to compete to be honest no no i don't what about madonna

no no different demographic yeah yeah

i also i like that i like this time frame that she announced like it's it's not february and we can get excited for summer 23 like that's a good amount of leeway i also think like only really beyoncé could do that because like you have to know for sure like stadiums like most people who play stadiums they don't sell out immediately like a couple people do but you need like a decent amount of time to lead up to the shows in order to sell like 90% of the seats out.

But I feel like Beyonce is like one of the only people who could do it like literally four months before.

Yeah.

It's like not that long.

But Taylor sold out everything, right?

Because you guys couldn't get tickets.

Yeah, Taylor's like a Beyonce as well.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, because we couldn't get tickets yet.

Rub it.

Yeah.

So what's going on with your tickets?

I just can't explain like how relaxed I am.

That's so good.

Like I have no tickets.

I have no prospects.

I'm 27.

I have no money and no prospects, but I just know I'm going to be there.

Yeah.

I can't like explain how I'm not concerned.

I'm not concerned for you.

Like I'm so calm.

I'm not going to be there.

I'm feeling very calm.

You are a beacon of calmness.

Calmness is my superpower.

That is not true.

That is a lie.

A lie.

A big lie.

I would say, what's your superpower?

Probably like my looks.

Yeah.

No, actually, what's my superpower?

My personality.

Like, that's so something an ugly person would say, but like,

it is.

Like, it is.

I'm sorry.

I think people people like you know sometimes think they might not like me or like you know and then like i you can turn them i really like

with your powers i'm a dazzler i really am yeah

and i just happen to be beautiful which is so unfair but um

no that's definitely what it's on the inside that counts another thing that you would say to an ugly person wow i'm just feeling like really gorgeous today um

no by personality what what would you say is your superpower

Oh

there's so many.

I would say actually calmness.

yeah i would say calmness is among like you're so level-headed like you never get like hasty you know like what do they say about decisions and haste like you've never made one of those when i'm i make one once a day yeah

yeah no i would say my my calmness and just like my

level-headedness that was a good word yeah um so beyonce's going on tour i feel like everyone i feel like everyone's gonna be going like so many concerts this summer that's so fun i love that for us yeah and i do think normally like we would not like be experiencing a tailor tour and a beyonce tour like in the same few months we have years to make up for right years were taken off of our lives and they must be added back.

Quite literally.

Quite literally.

Speaking of concerts, there's also been some buzz that Harry Styles got like a really big offer to do a Vegas residency.

Oh my God.

I mean, that's a great idea.

He'll be amazing.

And he's so Vegas, but he's so Vegas.

Like take a break.

I know.

I do think conceptually it's like a good idea for him and his brand, especially because he kind of like does residencies.

Yeah.

He does like a couple weeks in New York, a couple weeks in LA.

But my God, yeah, he did like take like a month off and now he's back at the the forum.

But it's not even about taking time off.

It's about like scheduling your schedule to be humane.

Yeah.

No, I agree.

Like with days off in between.

I know.

It's like sad.

He needs to calm down.

Yeah.

But I do think he would probably put on like an amazing show.

I think I would go see that.

Yeah.

I could go for a trip to Vegas.

Me too.

We need to see Adele.

And we need to see Carrie Underwood.

Oh, when does she start?

She's go.

She's on, right?

Because Rach went.

Oh, did she?

Yeah.

That would be a good one, too.

The country women do a good Vegas residency.

I think Miranda Lambert just wrapped one up too.

They're like, it's so Vegas also.

It's like diamond and denims, you know?

It must be fun to live in Vegas and like you have every concert that you could just go to.

Yeah.

I thought you were going to say it must be fun for like Carrie Underwood to live in Vegas for a few months, and I actually don't think it is.

No.

And I don't think that they do.

No, yeah, that's not what it is.

Like Adele's is on the weekends.

I think she probably goes back to LA on Monday morning.

Yeah.

I really do want to see Adele.

What's crazy is like the ticket prices have not come down.

It looks amazing.

It looks amazing.

She likes to do it.

Every video I see, like I watch the whole thing, and I'm glad that I did.

Me too.

I do want to say it doesn't look like the production is so wild.

They couldn't have gotten it right the first time, but I've moved on from that.

I'm just still like a little suspicious.

And I really do want to see it.

Like, especially when she goes into the audience, I'm like a little annoyed.

Not that I have any plans to go.

I'm annoyed.

Like when she goes into the audience, which is like kind of like the worst part of a concert, like everyone has to turn around.

Like you can't even see the person.

It's during my favorite song.

She goes in when we, when we were young.

Yeah.

Not to complain about a show.

I probably won't see.

Yeah.

Maybe you should tell her.

No, maybe she'll hear this.

Anyways, Beyonce, I'm excited for everyone who's going to go, but I feel like it's not enough shows and there's going to be like a calamity trying to get tickets.

Well, we'll have to see how Ticketmaster handles, you know, they had their hearing.

Yeah.

And it was like all the politicians.

At first, I thought it was funny.

And like, no, not for one second did I think it was funny.

No, then I was like, okay, these people are like trying to be viral.

This is like giving cringe.

Like the second before, like everyone said, like all these people in Congress really like talking to Ticketmaster and like then speaking in Taylor Swift lyrics.

And it was like, obviously, one person did it.

And then the next person and the next person.

And it was so cringe.

It would look at their notes and be like,

Ticketmaster, you're a nightmare.

Dressed like a daydream.

Ticketmaster, now we have bad blood.

Ticketmaster, you should say to yourself, it's me.

Hi.

I'm the problem.

It's me.

Like cringe beyond.

It was cringe beyond.

Yeah.

At first I was here for it.

And then like the long, the more, the more people I saw doing it and each each one got worse and worse, I thought, this is what's wrong with our country and why, you know, eggs are $8.

This is what's wrong with our country.

You ever just like forget how to drink and you're suddenly soaked?

Are you soaked?

I'm covered in Pellegroin.

Because you didn't put your mouth on it.

I didn't?

No.

Oh my God, it's everywhere.

Whatever.

Are you ready for our next story?

I took that shower you finally wanted me to take.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yeah.

Tom Brady says he's retiring for good after 23 seasons in an emotional video.

So Tom Batty, Brady put out a video this morning saying, give him a chance to make fun of himself.

He said, I'm retiring for good.

I know the process was a pretty big deal last time.

So when I woke up this morning, I figured I'd just press record and let you guys know first.

He said press recurred?

Oh, yeah.

He did say press recurred.

It won't be long, but he just spelled it wrong on People Magazine.

It won't be long-winded.

You only get one super emotional retirement day.

And I used mine up last year.

So I really thank you guys so much.

He said to every single one of you for supporting me, my family, my friends, my teammates, my competitors.

I could go on forever.

There's too many.

Thank you guys for allowing me to live my absolute dream.

I wouldn't change a thing.

Love you all.

Well, you should.

I just feel like that last line is a little bit of a lie.

Yeah.

Especially.

Not even because that he like didn't do great this season.

He lost his family.

He lost his, like, you know, if he had just.

retired when he said that he would, he would still be married to Giselle, according to sources.

Um

like whatever like it's way it's crazy how like he is the goat.

I'm like I feel like nobody cares.

Like it's so it's almost played out at this point.

Like sure time.

At least he knows he's not trying to like make a meal of it.

He's just like no, it was a self-aware statement.

And for that we're extremely grateful because like we're all looking at him side eye.

Though this time it was a little bummed because there were rumors he might be going to the 49ers and they actually could really use him and he could use them.

Like I guess they need a strong QB.

They have everything I do think his time is up.

They have everything else really strong.

I know.

And he's from the Bay Area.

Well, that's true.

I do wonder, like, what's on his mind?

Like, is he living?

I could see like everything we have heard about like the whole Giselle thing being a lie.

But like, if it's true, this has to be a person like living with deep regret.

Yes.

But like, I think that it.

It's more than just like one decision for him to go back to football.

That would like end his very long marriage, you know, because if they were otherwise so happy.

Yeah, there has to be something else.

then they would have made it work.

So I just, I think it was, they were at the end of their road and that was the last straw.

But if it wasn't that, there would have been a different straw.

Are you at the end of your road or the end of your rope?

I think you could be at both.

I think it's at the end of, I mean, you could be like end of your rope is a little

like more

giving like suicidal vibes.

Yeah, that's the vibe I'm getting.

Rope is definitely.

So I'm gonna, I'm gonna change it to road.

Did you see Kylie wearing that necklace?

Yeah, that was the the news.

That was fucking weird.

Yeah.

I'm all about like, you know, making a statement with your art, but like, it's fucking weird.

Yeah.

Fashion is just getting like kind of weirder and weirder.

Darker and more twisted.

More twisted and I just think further away from like what regular people want to wear.

Want to wear.

Yeah, totally.

So

for that reason, I'll stay in my sweatshirt.

Yeah, for that reason, I'll stay in this outfit that you didn't like.

That's not what I said.

You didn't like it first.

That's not what I said.

I didn't say I don't like it.

I'm happy for Tom you know hope he enjoys his retirement whatever he does his businesses gets into sportcasting um

but I had I have like so many like like I'm curious you know like about what he's really feeling at this time

because I could see a world in which like he kind of like looked like depressed in that video yeah and I don't know if it was just because like you know he's ending his career or because like he kind of went out like a loser Like I'm retiring, never mind.

Yeah, but like you have to remember he's not a loser.

Like if he's ever feeling that way, he can look at his six Super Bowl rings and feel better.

Yeah.

So, did he win a Super Bowl?

Since leaving the Patriots?

Yeah, I think the Bucks won.

Won once.

And then he retired.

I don't know.

I feel like he retired before he went to the Bucks.

Bucks.

Me too.

I think he won with the Patriots, retired, came back, won with the Bucs, and then lost twice.

Or once.

Once.

Twice.

Yeah.

Okay.

So it's not like that losery, but it's not great.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story, which is really kind of crazy?

Kind of crazy.

So Nicola Peltz's snippy text blasting her wedding planner's mistakes have been shown in a lawsuit.

Yes.

Because Nicola's dad is suing this wedding planning duo for not giving back a deposit that he deposited, even though they didn't wind up working with them.

So according to the Daily Mail, Nicola's father filed a lawsuit against wedding planners Nicole Bragin and Ariana Giralba for refusing to give back the $159,000 deposit he gave them.

In the lawsuit, he's claiming that he and his wife hired them in March 2022 through their firm plan design events.

After parting ways with their first wedding planner, the Peltzes hired the duo six weeks before the star-studded nuptials were to take place.

However, after only nine days on the job, the duo decided not to move forward with Nicola and Brooklyn because they could not handle the couple's guest list, which included more than 500 people.

Per the Daily Mail, the lawsuit reads, the celebrity of the wedding couple, combined with the anticipated attendance of many high-profile guests required that the wedding planner have the expertise in staffing to plan, coordinate, and execute a wedding event of the expected caliber and complexity.

Yeah, like not just any old wedding planner could execute this.

I heard that this was like their,

they went through like three or four people till they found the right one, this being one of them.

Yeah, this was number two.

And the lawsuit is because they didn't get their deposit back.

But the lawsuit included some text messages that Nicola had allegedly sent the wedding planners in the lawsuit, including one where the actress said she was, quote, tired of fixing their mistakes after they said Lewis Hamilton RSVP'd yes, although he told the couple he could not attend the wedding.

So she texted them, Lewis Hamilton did not RSVP.

So explain why his name's on the list, please.

She said, we spoke to him.

He can't come.

So explain why you said he RSVP'd yes.

The wedding planner said she tried to.

explain that she needed more time to get familiar with the app that the virtual guest list was on.

She said, I need time to do this.

I'm going to take a moment to learn the app and send you the information.

I hate looking like a fool, but I hate the most not giving you you what you need asap i will be back soon nicola who was seemingly upset allegedly replied that's not true he didn't rsvp at all

nicola's dad also claimed in the lawsuit that the wedding planners had a drinking problem

and oh because they sent a text to nicola saying um

that one of them said going for tequila before her head was about to explode to which nicola replied yes queen So I guess like that's okay, that's dramatic, Mr.

Pelts.

Yeah.

So he's also report suing for the legal fees.

I don't know.

It kind of sounds like they were pretty far into the planning process with these planners because they were accepting RSVPs.

So they deserve to be paid for something.

Yeah, but to be paid versus like the deposit.

Yeah, I don't know what this money is like specifically for.

I've never heard of a wedding planner taking a deposit.

They get a fee.

Yeah.

I don't know.

And then they wound up hiring a different wedding planner with how much time to spare.

Like this was already six weeks out.

Like, how many weeks did they work for them?

A week, two weeks?

No, it has, I feel like they probably worked with them for a decent amount of time.

If they were already in the collecting RSVP stage, that's, that's six to eight weeks.

No, but they hired them at six weeks out.

They had a different wedding planner before.

Oh, you know that for sure?

Yeah, that's okay.

Oh, so, oh, oh, oh.

They hired them with six weeks till the wedding.

Got it.

Okay, so no.

And then they didn't go with them and there's a different wedding planner.

That's fucking crazy, by the way.

I thought all of this was like, you know, one year out,

starting to plan, going through a few planners, and then ending with one, not changing planners six weeks before.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

And I don't know.

I don't really under, maybe this is like a mega, mega rich person thing, but I never heard of a planner taking a deposit.

Yeah.

So that's why he wants his money back.

Yeah.

So I wonder, I wonder who's like going to win.

Like who's entitled to the money?

Her dad is like a billionaire businessman.

I don't think a bad look.

No, I don't think he would go for a lawsuit that wasn't a win for him.

um because it is a bad look if if the law isn't on his side yeah that's true like it's not like crystal fucking clear yeah that's true it's just like so awkward like having your text messages being leaked so awkward i actually don't think that they're that bad considering like what could have been worse heard about her but also the dad put hers in so like maybe there were others maybe like they'll add them but um i'm sorry that's like so dramatic she's just like a little snippy about lewis hamilton like why is he on here he told us he wasn't coming no but like so dramatic to like submit a text message where she says she needs a drink because it was like a special stressful day She has a drinking problem.

Calm down.

But like at least we could see Nicola was nice when she were back in the middle.

Yes queen.

Yeah.

Cause I could see Nicola being like such a bitch.

So scary.

Like she's like just think, how do you not

as a bride six weeks before her wedding?

Like how do you not like when you grow up?

Like her family, people don't even think understand like they're like the top 1% of the 1%.

Like they're like next level rich.

She's so gorgeous.

She's in Hollywood.

Like how could you not be like a

cunt?

I just don't know how you couldn't not be like the the most nasty bitch alive.

I mean, there's a way where you're just like so grateful for your bountiful blessing.

I can tell you it wouldn't be me.

Like if I was so perfect and like literally came from like billionaire, billionaire, billionaire family, became like a starlet, was perfect looking, like you could not catch me being nice to a single human being.

Like you, I wouldn't even pretend I know you.

You wouldn't even look at me.

Well, actually, if you're still my sister, that means you're also like a billionaire.

I think she loves her little sis.

Okay.

Is she always posting her sis?

I don't know.

I feel like she is.

Like, I just, it's so important to know thyself.

Yeah.

And I just know I would be worse than Nicola.

Like, I just know it.

Yeah.

Especially six weeks out.

She's having wedding drama.

I should have called Birch.

Like, they would have.

It just also would never.

It's so interesting.

Like, really,

maybe a wedding of this magnitude happens like in this country like three times a year.

Who is?

Like, because this is bigger than like Kardashian, even.

I feel like, who's the Mindy Weiss?

Mindy Weiss.

Like, I feel like someone bigger.

Like, who's bigger than mindy weiss

i don't know but they it it happens it exists all the time but i'm just like who is it not every day who is it i don't know it's anyone's job for the taking speaking of gurdy they should have hired gurdy she's in miami i don't think so um

so random i don't know what just reminded me of this but um Yesterday we were talking about how like Orlando Bloom and Katie Perry, I mean, Miranda Kerr and Katy Perry were at that event together.

So Miranda Kerr posted a TikTok.

I saw it.

It was so cute of her like dancing with Katy Perry and being like, when you love your son's stepmom so much, like obsessed.

Obsessed.

I love that.

I feel like a lot of people didn't even realize that like

there was a kid.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're like kind of, they're like really private actually with their kids, like as they should be.

And now I think I'm like becoming obsessed.

Like I need to see, I need to see more step co-parenting content.

Yeah.

They should do an episode.

of like a podcast blended yeah they should they should start a blended podcast yeah where they like bring on parents who are having a hard time co-parenting.

And they just kind of ameliorate the situation immediately.

Yeah, which actually is a great segue into our next story because they could become the new Dr.

Phil with that.

Oh, and is it the new story that they could become the new Dr.

Phil with that?

That's brought to you by Kitch?

Is there a coincidence?

Like, is that the one?

That's the one.

God.

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Next story.

Dr.

Phil's talk show will end after 21 seasons.

He said, I'm moving on from daytime.

The long-running daytime talk show hosted by Dr.

Phil McGraw will wrap after its current 2022 to 2023 season, which is its 21st.

Dr.

Phil is ending his time with the show after signing his most recent contract with CBS Media Ventures, which was good for five years in 2018.

The syndication company is expected to give give networks the option to run previously taped episodes for the forthcoming 2023 to 24 season.

He said in a statement to people, I have been blessed with over 25 wonderful years in daytime television.

With this show, we have helped thousands of guests and millions of viewers through everything from addiction and marriage to mental wellness and raising children.

This has been an incredible chapter of my life and career, but while I'm moving on from daytime, there is so much more I wish to do.

CBS Media Ventures said that Dr.

Phil will soon share details on a strategic primetime partnership that will help him increase his impact on television and viewers.

I feel like this timing is really good because it's only a matter of time before Dr.

Phil gets canceled.

Like

there was like a small movement led by Danielle Bergoli a few years ago and like it had a little bit of traction because I think a lot of the facilities that his production company would like send troubled teens to is like are some of those problematic places like Provo Canyon that Paris Hilton went to.

And you know what?

He's gotten he's gotten through 25 years relatively unscathed.

And I think in order to protect his legacy, this is the absolute best thing that he should do.

It's, it's literally, it's a ticking time time bomb.

Yeah, I don't know if the culture can handle Dr.

Phil for much longer.

No, because Dr.

Phil is very much like the tough love.

Yeah.

And he, like, what, I think what a lot of what he used to do, like, would not fly today.

No, no.

So unless he wants to, and I don't think that he should change

his way or his format, but, you know, the world has changed.

Yeah.

And his time is up.

His time is up.

It's also worth noting that daytime television is changing.

Like Wendy Williams show, Ellen DeJenneres, show, Dr.

Oz, The Real, like they're all going.

I think that this this is an inflection point for daytime.

Will it change beyond recognition where it's to the point where like there are really none of those shows?

Or it's like, we're just doing Kelly and Drew and like, you know, Jay HUD.

These types of really light, bright shows that are like.

Yeah.

not going to solve the world's problems.

Right.

No, you're right.

We're definitely moving in that direction.

Like it's more of like the Ellen vibe than the Dr.

Phil, Dr.

Oz, like kind of scary.

I feel like sometimes that content is like fear-mongering.

Like, what's in your morning cereal cancer you know like and like um dr drew like things like that the doctors that you got way back jerry springer like right maury like quaking maury's ending right yeah

steve wilcoast like it's i think we're

i think like our kids will not be watching you know when they're homesick from school they'll be watching kelly clarkson and you know what they'll be better off for it Yeah, no, they could have, I feel like when you're homesick from school and then you're watching like, you know, Jerry Springer and you see like some, someone in dire straits, it's like you know what i'll go to school tomorrow it's true we're scaring the kids straight while they're sick instead they'll be singing like

sometimes in the middle of the night i can feel you again

i just miss you and i just wish you were a better man

you know you'll go in there supposed to be sick instead they've got the karaoke machine out love that for them sorry the kelly okey machine Kelly Okee.

But now it's like, what's next for Dr.

Phil?

And it says he's obviously working on some big, probably more like

high-level like production or development thing with CBS.

And I really feel like he should give his time slot to Morgan Stewart.

Yeah.

Like he should make his next phase in life, like making Morgan Stewart the next Dr.

Phil, but like of her genre.

Yeah.

He must see the talent that's, you know, the mother of his grandchildren, you know, his daughter-in-law.

He must see it.

They should also show together.

And like maybe like she could bring that be that foil where it's like

Phil.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I love that format.

It's like, and it would be bringing like old and young generations together.

I'd be watching.

In a second on a dime, I would be watching that.

It's something to think about.

He has a podcast that's really popular.

He does like more mental health stuff.

I don't think this is the last of Dr.

Phil, but I do think in this kind of antiquated format, it's not, it's not going to make the, it's not going to cut it anymore.

Yeah.

But I feel he has so many like fans.

And I don't think that's why he's really leaving.

Like, I just do think that daytime is changing.

You know, and he's probably over it, like doing the same thing every day for 25 years yeah it's like he could if he wanted to retire yeah oh he's so rich yeah he's fine so we'll see what's next yeah but the end of an era truly yeah are you ready for our fifth and final story yeah britney spears is accusing melissa milano of bullying for questioning her well-being alyssa milano alyssa milano you said melissa milano i'm like the tick tocker melissa matrano literally no i didn't you literally said melissa but okay okay roll robos gaslight repeat You are.

You.

You.

You roll the tapes.

Good.

Cause we have them.

Because we have them.

Hopefully today's files don't mysteriously disappear.

So Alyssa Milano tweeted, someone please go check on Britney Spears.

You know, that's what people say these days.

Yeah, I just want to say, like, before I give my opinions, I'm definitely biased because I find Alyssa Milano to be like one of the most annoying bitches on the planet.

Continue.

And so Brittany...

posted that to her Instagram story and said, it saddens me to see things about me from people who don't know me.

This definitely feels like a form of

bullying.

Ladies, we are supposed to be rooting for one another, not pulling one another down.

You know,

I might have to rescind what I said.

I think I might be with Alyssa Milano on this one because you know what?

Like, it's not bullying.

It must be tough for Britney to see that.

But like, Britney is not okay.

We all know that.

I know, but I feel like this is what we've always been saying.

It's like,

you don't need to check on Britney.

Like, this is Britney.

Right.

This is the Britney that we freed.

Like, and I think that the situation that she was in was extremely extreme.

But at one point, like,

she was

when, like, this all started because, like, I think that she's not like

what you would consider

normal.

Normal.

Yeah.

She has her quirks about her.

And that doesn't mean that she has to live her life like a prisoner, though.

So thus she is free.

Right.

But, like, she's going to, Brittany's going to be Britney.

And he's going to be a little weird.

And she doesn't need anyone to check in on her.

No, also, I just feel like Alyssa Milano should mind her own business, you know?

Like, there's like things out there about like her husband, like, just stop.

Oh, I don't even know.

Just stop out there.

So just like, why don't you mind your own business?

And like, you know, those in glass houses.

She had said recently, Brittany, nope, I'm not having a breakdown.

I am who I am and moving forward in my life.

I've never felt better.

That's literally what I think.

She is who she is and she's moving forward in her life.

I know who she is, which is a person that like you, you might not have thought that she was, but she is.

Or like.

I think like two things can be true.

Like she can be happy, but also deeply unwell.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

And she could be unwell, but not need to be in a conservatorship on lithium, like working every day, not being able to accept her own money, having an ID placed in her when she wants kids, not being able to marry her husband.

Like she deserves her freedom.

Yeah.

And just because she like dances in her living, it's not like what you would post on social media.

And the thing is, I don't even like look at any of it anymore because it is out there.

Yeah.

And the girl is free and she deserves her freedom.

But it's, it's, it's not, you know,

it's not the usual celebrity curated content.

Well, it's also important to remember, like, not only is is Brittany obviously going through stuff.

So her social media is weird,

she's also a 40-year-old mom.

Like, she's chewy.

Like, that is also her aesthetic.

Like, I feel like people are always like, because we expect, you know, like every celebrity, no matter how old they are, has like some, you know, 25-year-old intern helping with their social that, like, it always comes off like cool, like, they know the trends.

But like, Brittany is literally 40.

She's a mom of two.

Like, that is kind of the vibe for people that age.

Like, that's what they post.

Maybe not the dancing, but like the quote cards and like the weird captions.

Yeah.

I feel like there was other stuff recently that was more concerning, but it's like like she's working through all of her newfound freedom and she's doing it in front of everyone.

And that is her right.

Like, it's going to be wrong.

She's a human being.

And it's going to be ugly.

And so I don't know that she needs to be checked on all the time.

I think being checked on is what got her into a situation that was really bad.

She's not hurting anyone.

It doesn't seem to be that she's hurting herself.

Let the girl live and be fucking weird.

Hax.

So I understood what she meant when she's like, like, everyone can stop saying, and everyone thinks they're being so like helpful, helpful and magnanimous let's check on britney and read about britney brittany too she's so very happy and that mentality this just happened last week like we need to check on brittany like people like

concerned fans like call the cops and the cops show up at her house in the middle of the night and like it freaks her out so it's like we can be concerned but like there has to be a line please it's so important for everyone in the world who cares about britney to remember you don't know britney So just like, don't call the cops to her house.

Like, you don't, this is still a stranger to you.

You don't really know.

None of us really know what's going on.

I mean, you don't know what she's really like.

Yeah, but hopefully she has a few good people around her who know what she is really like and so know what to look out for if something is wrong.

Yeah.

Agreed.

Um

it's been so nice to have the boys back.

Like Theo's been such a fucking angel this whole time.

Yeah, so was Treisand

and now he wants to explore, which is his right to do.

His duty.

He's going to explore his duty.

That's for sure.

It's for damn sure.

And that's our show.

Oh, Oh, no, it's not.

Sorry.

It's not.

I was wondering.

You know me.

I'm like, not okay today.

I mean, same.

Let me pull up the dear toasters for you.

So it's Wednesday, which means our advice segment, our favorite day of the week, is dear toasters.

If you want to email us, get some advice from your favorite girlies, email deartoasters at gmail.com and we will do our best to get your quandary on air.

We've got some good submissions today.

Are you ready?

Ready.

Hey, girly turtlies.

My husband brings me home a magnet after every work trip he goes on.

It's cute and thoughtful, except he puts them on the fridge.

I've tried to find another spot for them, but they always end up back on the fridge.

We're moving from our apartment into our first house soon, and the magnets just simply don't fit the aesthetic.

What do I do?

Should I lose them during the move?

Much love.

Well, sorry, she wrote her name.

Oh my God, nobody ever writes their name.

Much love.

Magnet girl.

That is so interesting because it's so sweet, but I totally understand.

Like, we cannot be having a fridge full of magnets, but if they're not going to be on the fridge, like they're just going to sit in a drawer, which is also kind of sad.

Like those are gifts from him

for me.

Like I am, of Jackie and Ben, they both call me the sweeper.

Like I'm constantly sweeping up, throwing things out.

Like I don't care if they have sentimental value.

Like I hate clutter in my house.

I find myself like, you know, months later looking for stuff and being like, oh my God, I definitely tossed that in the sweep.

So I'm just very much like, I don't care about your feelings.

It's, you know, it's how the house looks over your feelings.

This is like a really sweet thing.

Maybe you could put them in like a shoebox.

No, or like put them in a drawer.

And then when you need a magnet on the fridge, like for a grocery list like take from the magnet drawer but we're not just gonna have like magnets on the fridge that aren't serving a purpose no yeah that's like very like old retro like it's it's tacky like it's not the vibe you could be like going into the new home like i want purposeful magnets and they're not just gonna sit on the fridge like if you want a grocery list or you're leaving me a note like this is the magnet drawer do people still use magnets like our fridge is still magnetic i feel like the new like vibe though is people having like cabinets over their fridge so most people don't actually have magnetic fridges i think my my fridge is magnetic but i don't have a magnet right is that still a thing i guess like when you have kids and they start like coming home with like paintings and like you have the kids schedule on the fridge like it's cute it's still it's cute but like i feel like that's not like just magnets for magnets sake right No, I mean, I don't have children, so like I certainly don't have a single magnet in my home.

Purposeful magnets is where we're going in 2023.

Just like, oh my God, I was listening to this podcast.

They were talking about purposeful magnets.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it really got me thinking, like, our magnets are not serving a purpose.

And until they do, they should go in a drawer.

They're just kind of like cluttering.

But did you see that story about marie kondo she's kind of like given up yeah that was sad that was sad and like a real reflection of the state of the world it made me sad to think of everybody who threw their stuff away and is now like oh i want it back they got carried away they got condoed away but i still like her philosophy yeah right if it doesn't spark joy get rid of it but i don't know i feel like this might be a hard sell now that like marie kondo is bowed out but maybe we need a new marie kondo called the sweeper

New show idea.

I am the fucking idea.

Claudia Ashre is the sweeper.

Your superpower is sweeping.

It really is.

But that's why my studio remains completely organized and clutter-free.

My house, you will not find a single thing I don't actually need.

And it's, it's one of the great joys of my life sweeping.

I love it.

I, I swept your house last night when everyone's still eating different things.

It's fun to sweep when it's just like the kids' choice because they just like all go back in the bin.

It's like, and it it goes from being like so messy to so clean.

So it's easy to clean when it's like, yeah.

And you're also really good.

You have like bins for Bruno's toys, bins for Harry's toys.

Like it's easy to sweep your house.

Yeah.

I also just felt like it was like really messy and like Zach was going to come come home like it's not nice, you know?

Oh, thanks.

I mean, it's that's a fun mess.

That's not like really messy.

That's not like dishes in the sink.

No, I also would like to be a good house guest.

So it's not like oh, Claudia's coming.

Like Ben's toenail.

Ben's toenail.

Did you ever tell that story?

I don't think that we did.

I work so hard when I stay at Jackie's house to be a good house guest.

Like, so that it's not like, oh, Claudia's coming.

So like, I know you'll never feel that way, but like, I don't want Zach to be like, oh, so much work.

Claudia's coming.

So I always, you know, I never leave a dish.

I, when I leave, I, you know, make the bed every morning.

I leave that the room nice.

I take my trash out.

And I do it for me and Ben.

Yeah.

But they stayed here in December.

And when we were cleaning out the room, because we were turning it over for the next guest, we found Ben's toenail on the nightstand.

Like, you know, when like your big toe, like just the whole thing comes off?

Not like the whole nail, the whole like extension.

Like, yeah, yeah, the whole, the whole like tip.

And so he must have ripped it off and left it on the nightstand because he must have been impressed like with his big, big toenail.

I actually, I remember him ripping it off and showing it to me.

Oh, really?

Yeah, it never occurred to me he would leave it there.

Then he left it there and Zach found it.

I feel like if I had found it, like I would have concealed it and just told you, but Zach was.

It's so disgusting.

It's like all the work that I do to like leave a good impression for my family.

And Ben destroys it with a two-inch nail.

And so I call Ben.

Oh my God.

And you told me to scare him.

So I left him like a really scary voicemail.

Like, hey, Ben, we need to talk.

Like, please call me back.

And when he called me back, I was like,

you know, dragging it out.

And then I was like, and I found your toenail.

And he was like, no, that's not mine.

That was Claudia's.

Oh, what?

You didn't tell me that.

Yes, I did.

He said, that's Claudia's.

I was like, no, it's too big to be Claudia's.

And it was on your side of the bed.

Yes.

And Claudia.

I was closer to the window, right?

Yeah, of course.

And Claudia would an emperor.

Uh-oh.

I cannot.

Anyways, he was like not even giving you.

Like, not apologizing.

I'm like, not embarrassed.

I cannot believe you.

He's like, really.

Well, I guess if it's mine, I'm sorry.

If it's.

That's like, if I hurt your feelings, I'm sorry.

Yeah.

He's like, I don't don't think it's mine, but if it is, like, I'm really sorry.

I cannot believe that little shit tried to blame me.

Wow, I'm like mad at him all over again.

I actually had forgotten about it.

Back to the deer toasters.

Just

get rid of them.

Like, I'm sorry.

Put them in a shoebox.

Like, it's sweet.

It's like collectible.

Oh, yeah.

Or in the move, don't throw them away.

But like in the move.

They don't have to go on the fridge.

Like.

Put them somewhere where he can't find them.

And then also maybe going forward, be like, I feel like we have so many magnets.

But I'd love that you're always saying in me, like maybe a shot glass, maybe a keychain.

Yeah, change it, switch up.

Switch it up, maybe a sweatshirt.

Our next one is like a Venmo issue.

And I find these issues like people really have such gall, right?

Hey, Jackson, Claude.

Token Gen Z are here.

Claude, your TikTok presence is working.

My big sis introduced me to the toast and I'm obsessed.

That's why I wanted to read this submission.

Anything for me?

No.

Usually like there's something nice for you and something nice for me.

Well, she didn't say something.

She just said the TikTok presence is working since I'm the one doing the TikTok.

Oh, okay.

I thought she meant also like your videos, like, you know, your food, trying to do it no, no.

I think she just meant the clips because she found out about us from her sister who sold her.

Oh, TikTok.

Okay, it wasn't just like niceties for both of us, as some people do.

So there's nothing for me.

How about you?

It's the other girl.

I need your advice.

I just moved to Denver for work.

I'm in the process of making new friends.

A few new girls invited me and two of my friends from home to go skiing this past weekend, and it was a blast.

We totally hit it off, and I could see us moving past the dreaded friend dating phase.

But my dilemma is that after the weekend was over, the girl who drove requested a Venmo for gas and parking.

Totally normal.

And then she requested a $35

Venmo request per person for one, an exterior and interior car detail.

And two, a payment to rent a spot on her car's ski rack.

Her blatant explanation was that if I charge $10 to every person to bring their skis per trip to the mountains, I can then pay off my ski rack by the end of the season.

So she's just using these girls like to pay her back to pay for a ski rack.

I'm not sure what that is.

A ski rack that she would already have.

Yeah, that she like wants to pay off.

Am I petty as fuck for not wanting to pay this girl an extra $35 so that she can pay for her own car upgrades?

On the one hand, it's not worth losing a new friend over $35, but she knows we are all on a shoestring budget and skiing is as is expensive.

If I pay her, does this fuel this kind of behavior?

How would you approach this?

So I guess she bought a ski rack for her car and then if she charges everyone $10, then she's like she never had to buy it.

Yeah.

Even though they did use it.

But also the interior and exterior detail, that's definitely like extreme.

Extreme, but, but, you know, maybe she needed it.

Yeah, like

I would just pay it too.

And, like, going forward,

there will be a time when like you won't want to pay it and it doesn't make sense to you.

But, like, if you want this person as your friend, just pay it.

Um, but I do think this is a problem that's going to persist, but maybe eventually like it will be something so crazy that you could say something.

I don't know.

I, I kind of feel like this isn't the most unjustified request.

Like, $35 when it was like the whole weekend, everyone used this one girl's car, like, skiing, snow in the car.

Like, the detail detail doesn't seem like that crazy to me um the ski rack is like a little chutzpah like but it's like where would you guys have put your skis right if she didn't have her car and she didn't buy a ski rack i don't know it's it's like it's very

gray no no no like it's um

it's very like a small thing

but everybody's on like has bills to pay and i mean it sounds like she would have bought it regardless like she didn't buy it like for you guys but um i would i would pay it this time and then just you know keep an eye out yeah

it doesn't honestly it's not the most i've heard of crazier things people asking for venmo requests yeah i would pay it this time for sure but like next time be like okay what are the costs gonna be up front the next time someone asks you to do something like if we're going to dinner like okay are there any costs associated or just like we're going to dinner but it's hard enough to make friends in a new city so honestly just like let this one go especially because i i don't feel like it's that crazy yeah no it's not the craziest thing i've ever heard um all right our third and final dear toasters dear jackson claude long time listener here i hope all is well and fabulous with both you and the boys.

I recently had my first child and I don't know how to tell my in-laws that I don't want them posting pictures of my child.

Sorry, I'm not giving the child a gender.

I don't want them to be posting pictures of my child on social media.

I feel like they're going to roll their eyes and think I'm a crazy mama bear behind closed doors.

I don't like confrontation and I don't want them to feel like I don't want them to be a part of my child's life.

My mother-in-law and sister-in-law post everything and I mean everything on Facebook.

And that's just not my journey.

My husband and I are more private and we don't feel the need to overshare our life.

I know my in-laws want to share pictures of my newborn out of love and excitement but i don't know how i feel about my child having a digital footprint at the moment here's the kicker i want to be in charge of what photos are posted and when i feel like they will think it's hypocritical of me if i tell them no posting and then i may post a photo here or there down the line what are your thoughts that's a very well thought out submission totally um i feel like you it's have every right to say i don't want my baby on social media but you could also be like

especially i don't want like a lot of volume of my baby out there but like there if there's ever a photo that I'm comfortable with you guys sharing, like I will let you know.

And like, if I share something, that means that you can share it too.

But I just, just because there's one picture doesn't mean that there's now going to be a thousand.

Floodgates.

And they absolutely have to respect that.

If they don't, like

that's a problem.

And as far as you worrying about them thinking you're like a crazy mama bear behind closed doors, like let them think that.

Let them think that.

That's why you care so much about their grandchild.

It's better than them thinking you're just like the deadbee mom.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, Jackie's totally right.

There are such worse things for your in-laws to think about you.

you like if your parents think if your in-laws think you're too overprotective over your child that means you're doing a good job yeah being overprotective is never a bad thing when it comes to kids no never so i agree like this is it is important like it is worth having the conversation over

you're not unjustified and nothing you're asking for is like that crazy and i feel like if you explain it out especially like your sister-in-law who's like younger like she should get it it other like parents don't really understand like the full magnitude of social media um so i think you'd have to like explain it to them more but as long as you do it in a nice way way.

Yeah, in a nice way, not in like a condescending way, like you guys share so much.

Like, yes, right, right.

Just like, this is me, like for our family, like my

your son agrees.

Like, we just don't want a lot of pictures out there.

We'll let you know if there's ever stuff we feel comfortable sharing, but well, did you have to tell your in-laws?

Yeah, and we totally understood.

Yeah.

And I'm sure that they would love, like, they would love to be able to share pictures, but like, of course, they know and they respect 100%.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Oh, I didn't realize like that you literally did this too.

Yeah.

And so like you just said, like, no pics.

Yeah.

I said we're like we're not sharing great pics of Harry like please don't share either.

No, I guess I just realized that too because I am friends with your in-laws on Facebook and I've never seen a picture of Worldini.

Right.

I wish I would.

And like you didn't really have that conversation with me because you know like I would, I'm so against it.

Like the world needs to see.

Yeah.

Let's see when it's your turn what you do.

No, I know.

You know, I've thought about that a lot because like Olivia didn't do it and then like you didn't do it.

And I, I don't know how I won't, but I think,

I think I agree.

The way way that I felt, like I always said, I'll see how I feel.

I'll see how I feel.

And the way that I felt made my decision for me.

But like the way that you feel, you might still feel like I don't see what the big deal is.

And then you can share.

By the way, I do see what the big deal is.

And I agree with your sentiments.

I just feel sad for everyone else that they will never get to experience the magic.

But I just, I feel like you'll.

the way that you feel like it won't even be a hard decision.

If you wind up posting or not posting, you'll know.

Yeah, you'll know.

You'll know.

That's how I felt.

I'm also just like a loser follower.

Like whatever my sisters do, I do.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

So like, the decision's already been made.

I don't know, but sometimes you go rogue.

I do sometimes go rogue, but not with important shit.

Like kids are important.

I don't know.

I could see you going just being like, no, I feel fine.

No, I don't.

I couldn't see that, actually.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay.

But.

Again, you're totally entitled to the girl who wrote in, not to make everything about us.

You're completely entitled.

But I think that's why she wrote into us.

Like, yeah.

I picked up on that.

Oh, I totally, because it didn't apply to me.

And if it doesn't apply to me, I'm not even paying attention.

I didn't even pick up that, like, you literally did this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I was totally fine.

Yeah.

So, like, unless you have like evil in-laws, which it sounds like they're pretty normal, like they love your kid and like want to take pics.

So I think you'll be fine.

Yeah.

And I think a lot of people do understand, even if they've not experienced it, but they can conceive of like the downsides of social media.

And like, especially for young kids, like there is a lot there.

So I feel like they'll respect your decision.

Yeah, I agree.

Because we all want what's best for the child.

Of course.

And that's what we all have in Kerman.

In Kerman.

What are we going to have for lunch?

I literally just got so hung.

I heard somebody downstairs open the microwave.

That's why.

I'm so glad you asked the question.

I'm starving.

Maybe like we go out for lunch.

I'm not.

I also need to go to Target because the way I have asked repeatedly for a chair in my bathroom, I cannot, you know what I didn't realize?

I guess I have a vanity at my house and I have not done my makeup standing up.

Do you need a chair with a back or a poof?

I just need something.

Well, you could always take one from the dining table.

No, no, I want like a, it needs to be taller.

Taller.

So I just need to go to, I need to go to Target and get what I need.

Like my back, my feet hurt.

Like just standing up and doing your hair and makeup when you take as long as I do is backbreaking stuff.

Yeah.

So maybe we'll go lunch and then Target.

I love, oh, I have to edit the Red Heads today.

A new episode drops tomorrow.

We recorded it yesterday and it's so good.

And even though we all like the book, like we all had a lot of really valid concerns.

Okay.

And I feel like it's a really good episode about a great book, which so many people loved, including the Gowerlies.

And as always, the rating felt right.

But we were like not just blindly eating all of it up because you could have.

Cause there was, honestly, she's like real life Evelyn Hugo.

Yeah.

Oh, that's it.

It was a really good book.

But we have concerns.

And I have concerns too about what I'm going to have for lunch.

So I'm going to go figure that out.

I'm going to have a bowl of stripes for lunch.

I hope you guys have an amazing hump day.

Thank you so much for joining us.

And I hope it's time for your lunch now or dinner, whenever you're listening to this or dessert.

Because I want my dinner now.

I do.

I do want my dinner now.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast of Millennium Morning Show where we deliver the best of stories eating each and every one every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Bye.