I Am (Single): Friday, January 20th, 2023

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the toast.

Happy

Friday.

Friday, we did it Friday.

Friday, gotta get down on Friday.

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

Weekend.

Hey, Jax, howdy, girl.

It's Friday.

Yes, yes, it is.

I thought you were going to ask me about me.

So I was just like waiting for the HYD,

but it never came.

But I'm doing okay.

You know, something that happens when we do this show is that I have to pick the stories.

Like, so I spend 30 minutes before the show picking the stories.

I go all over the internet.

And the news is so awful.

I know.

That it's so hard.

to then just like find like five fun stories to talk about and then like not just think about all of the terrible things I just saw.

I know.

That's true.

I actually never thought about that part of the job because you picked the stories.

I'm sorry that you had to go through that.

Some days are worse than others.

Like today was particularly harrowing, especially when I get on the Daily Mail.

Like, but actually, it's not even just Daily Mail.

Like People Magazine, you think it would be like fun fluff.

The true crime section, the real life, they have a section that's true crime.

They have a section that's real life.

And it's real life is always fucking horrible.

I'm so sorry.

But that's kind of like the miracle of the toast.

That's why we do what we we do to like filter through those horrible things and just give you the positivity.

But it's hard to bounce back sometimes after I've seen what I've seen.

You're literally like the joker.

Like you make everyone laugh.

But on the inside, you're deeply unwell.

There's like, where's the piece for me?

You know?

You're Jacqueline Phoenix.

I'm Jackie O.

Phoenix.

And so, yeah, that's just like.

It's always, I usually forget by the time we start recording, but like, today I haven't forgotten.

There were a number of stories that were just.

upsetting.

Upsetting.

Oh my God.

Well, I'm going to make you laugh today.

Hey, Jax, how you doing?

Oh, thanks, McClured.

I'm doing well also because it is Friday, which is magnificent news for everyone.

Especially you and I, because we do love the day of the fry.

We do love the day of the fry.

I'm overjoyed.

You know, a Friday isn't any less special when you have the Monday off, you know?

Yeah, agreed.

It's Friday, no matter how you slice it, because there are some weeks where it's so long and it's like, it's just Friday.

So take the wins where you could get them.

I hope everyone has really exciting weekend plans.

Do you have?

I know you're hanging out with Shannon.

Yeah, I'm seeing Shannon tonight for dinner, which I'm so excited about.

I have like so much, I feel like she has such good gossip.

I like need to sit her down and just study her.

And I also just haven't seen her in like literally months because she's always gallivanting around the globe.

So yeah, we're going to a fabulous restaurant.

We're going to look fabulous.

I'm finally like really making some headways, headway, headway with my Dyson Air Wrap.

I did purchase it almost maybe two maybe three years ago um

i gave it a shot when i got it and i got so frustrated and i don't know what compelled me to just like try it again shannon helped me she has a tutorial she does um

she has like a subscription on her instagram which a lot of people are doing now i think it's really interesting and i feel like shannon's the perfect person to do it because she's like so glamorous like i can't get enough and i watched her tutorial and like literally the hair would not wrap around the barrel for me it was like so annoying and i thought it was because you know my hair is too long and thick i have to get the bigger barrel Oh, no, it's so long and thick.

How hard for you.

I know.

But it turns out that the air wrap has a filter and I didn't know that.

And you have to clean it or else like it won't suction.

Like the bottom thing comes off.

There was so much dust.

Oh my God, it was disgusting.

And the second I figured that out, it started rapping.

Huh.

And now I remember.

That's good for me to know as someone who uses the air wrap.

every week.

Oh, okay.

And so when the air wrap, when it came to my house, it came with all the, you know, accoutrements.

I put them all in the box.

And there was this little like circular brush thing.

And I'm like, what the fuck is this?

And I threw it out.

It's the brush for the filter to get all the dust out.

And now I had to use, I had to throw away my toothbrush and use my toothbrush to get, it was like so annoying.

Oh my God.

Wow.

Okay.

I'm going to try that too.

I use my Dyson Air Wrap a little differently than you use yours.

And I like the way I use mine, except when my hair, when I don't have a fresh haircut, like it really won't hold.

So I've kind of just given up right now.

But

I'm giving

i'm getting a haircut on monday in addition to this being the year of yes it's also the year i like start um like proactively doing things so i'm getting a haircut i actually have a physical i have not had a physical um

in 200 years

and i feel like now that i'm not um like now that i've lost weight like I feel like every time I went to the doctor, it's like, well, you could lose weight.

I'm like, no, I know.

I'm not dumb.

Like, I know I'm extremely unhealthy.

Like, you think if I like wanted to be this weight, I would.

It's not a choice, bitch.

And now that I've lost some weight, I feel like I'm sure she'll still tell me.

I'm still like medically obese, but I'm sure she'll tell me, but I'm on my way, you know?

Yeah.

No, we looked at the BMI.

You're not medically obese.

No, I am.

Were you?

Yeah, no.

I thought that was not the conclusion that we came to.

No, it was.

It goes like you're, and by the way, BMI is so like toxic and unrealistic.

Like, I feel like BMI is not accurate, but technically.

No, but if BMI, like when you go by, they say I should be like 103 pounds, which I'm literally saying.

Even in 2019, like not even close.

And I was like entire flames.

But they give you a window and like the top of my normal window, normal, according to BMI, like I think is pretty generous.

I don't think BMI is like that crazy because yes, the low number is pretty low, but like there's a big green window that they give you.

And then they give you a yellow window.

I personally, like, I don't fuck with the BMI, but it is a frame of reference that people often use.

So I'm just using it here.

Yeah.

And my BMI would consider me obese.

And then under obese is overweight.

And that's kind of like goals.

I'm not there yet.

No, okay, but we were looking at it and like you weren't, you weren't far off.

Yeah, but I wasn't, I wasn't super close.

I feel like you were saying, oh, whatever.

You know what?

I'm not, I'm not letting the BMI dictate my life.

Like, BMI is toxic.

I'm doing it for you, but like now that you're having these gains, like it's cool to see where you like stack up to this thing that like has always been there.

I've invaded you.

Yeah.

But so all sad to say is i'm taking care of me this year i'm going to the doctor for a physical i am going to the dentist i haven't made that appointment yet because honestly that's worse than the physical i absolutely hate the dentist and the last time i went probably maybe over a year ago she said i had a cavity and i should come back and i didn't i just like hoped i would brush the cavity away not how cavities work but if it's not bothering you it must not be that bad No, it's not bothering me, but I do feel like I could get a cleaning.

Like I'm just, it's the beginning of the year.

I just got a cleaning.

I feel like the beginning of the year is a good time to like make all your appointments haircut doctor dentist anything else, you know full body skin check.

Oh, I got to do that.

I just did that.

I want to get a haircut.

I got it.

I think I'm going to get my haircut down here because I don't even ask for like anything crazy.

It's not like I'm going for a new look, just a trim.

Maybe I'll do that with my new vehicle while I still have it.

I only have a few more days left on my loaner car from our friends at GM.

I didn't talk about it on the toast yesterday, but GM sent me a car.

They sent me like this cute, gorgeous Cadillac.

And I didn't drive yesterday, which feels like a waste, but I needed a day off.

Like, driving is a lot for me.

It requires so much.

Like, I get so much adrenaline from the whole thing that, like,

it's not a casual experience.

But today, I'll be back in my car because I only have a few days left with it.

You should drive to get bangs.

You should get bangs.

You know what?

Like, no, but I actually think you might look good with bangs.

I don't think.

You don't think?

No, I don't think so.

I have a very round face.

I think that bangs benefit round faces.

No, no, then you're just like a little curtainy bowling ball.

Well, if you get bad bangs, then there's nothing.

No, no, no.

Even good bangs.

Like, there's no need for me to get bangs, but I think you should get bangs.

I've like always secretly wanted them.

I had side bangs in the seventh grade actually at my bombits.

If I had side bangs, and they were, they were my pride and joy.

Like, I couldn't believe I was allowed to get them.

And when i got them i was obsessed because i was very much like the emo time you know secondhand serenade fallout boy for me like i've got i've gotten to live my bangs fantasy and it was just that it was fantastic it was amazing parisian bangs are like when they're all over your forehead and they're then they're in the middle like they're short yeah that like cropped bang look is never gonna work for me not the bang

not that one no but

some people do it yeah yeah it's not for me um so i don't know.

Maybe this is a sign if you've been thinking about getting bangs that you should, not you, Jackie, our listeners, that you should do it.

Yeah, Claudia wants to see.

Yeah, I like, I love the bangs journey for people.

I know it's like such a hassle to grow them out and it's fun at first and then it's not because you can't style them.

I know, but I don't know.

You should do it.

Yeah, that's not like you always are itching to get bangs when you sit down for a haircut.

Like I'm always itching for like a bob.

That's what I would advocate for.

Like I think anybody who's considering just going short should totally do it.

It was one of the better things I've ever done.

I am so here for Bobby O making a return.

Theo's crying.

Honey.

Oh my god, I want Jackie to get a bob.

He wants Jackie to get a bob.

Claudia, I literally didn't know Theo was in there and I was like, what is going on?

At Claudia's, does she have a baby in the studio?

Yeah, no,

because Theo's so excited.

He said, Auntie is getting her Bob again?

No, no, no, I will, but not for a few years.

It was such a great time when you had a Bob.

It was a great time.

And I feel like when it comes back, it's going to even be even better because like I'm even better at my hair now.

I'm better at my makeup.

And I was so against it when you got it.

I'm like, you're crazy.

You're crazy.

But now you're the one who's always asking for me to get it back.

But no, I worked too hard to grow my hair this long.

I think it like sweeps me.

You work too hard for this zip code to go home now.

Ain't that the truth?

Ain't that the truth?

We got an amazing show.

It's Friday.

Theo's here.

Jax is here.

What else, genuinely, this is a genuine question.

What else could you ask for?

Honestly,

Bryce.

Oh, right.

That would be the only other thing.

But he's doing Bryce Tings this morning, unfortunately.

And we miss him.

God rest his soul.

It's not a full stride,

but it's a Thry Day.

So good.

So good.

So good.

Especially because we haven't seen Theo in the studio in a while.

To what do we owe this pleasure?

You know, it's Friday.

His walk ended early.

You know, like the timing, the stars were aligned.

I love that for him.

Hi, my angel man.

You want to say hi to everyone?

Oh, I love you so much.

Oh, I fucking love this guy.

You know, those Bryce and Strice, they hate these chairs because there's like nothing for them.

No, and now I do remember why I stopped bringing Theo to the show.

Like, I'm so distracted.

Like, the way you can't text and drive, you can't pod and thrice.

I know.

Unless we're together and the boys are together.

And then it's just like a feast for the senses.

But he's just wandering around the studio, like sniffing around, and like, I'm obsessed.

He's so cute.

I miss that boy.

He's such an angel.

Crunchy, angel man.

Crunchy, angel man.

Speaking of musical, I finished the sound of music last night.

Oh, how was it?

Amazing?

It was so good, McClured.

You should really watch it.

It was so premium.

They really don't make them like that anymore.

Like,

the songs were so good and then like the score was amazing and the scenery and the story.

It was just garge.

And I'm so glad that we've had this renaissance with sound music.

And I have to owe it to that weird ass story I picked the other day.

Yeah.

About the baroness, this new show.

And now that I watch the sound and music, I know who the baroness character is.

She was like meant to be like evil stepmother, except she wasn't evil.

Like Georg.

I don't know why they can't call him George.

Georg, the father.

my God, I thought you said Gaylord.

This, he brings home this wench from Vienna.

She's a widow and she wants to marry him because he's wealthy.

But I think they also like get along and they have a good time.

But then he falls in love with the governess and so he sends her on her way.

And even though the baroness did try and get rid of Julie Andrews and like she was a little nefarious, like, of course, she's stepping in on her man.

Like that, she's literally a textbook, like, you know,

pretend you're a piece.

Like, no, like the nanny who's like making eyes.

Oh, that's dad.

So she had to go.

So she had to go.

So, um, and then when Georg does break up with the baroness, you think she's going to be like spiteful and say something nasty, but instead she cuts him off and like she breaks up with him to like,

she's really cute.

Anyways, I guess it's going to be a Baroness Origin story, which

I think

will be nice because she wasn't such an evil character.

By the way, speaking of the sound of music, Jackie and I were shocked and

taken aback that the sound of music official Instagram account.

This is the craziest thing.

The sound of music official Instagram account followed us, commented on one of our clips from Unreals where we were talking about the sound of music, and they left a comment that said, this synopsis left no crumbs.

Like,

obviously, it's a Gen Zer on that account, and she's doing a very good job, but I wasn't expecting Julie Andrews to use like some modern TikTok phrase.

No, no, I was really shocked by that response.

And in a good way, I was shocked, but I was, I was really shocked.

But they have a really pop-in social presence.

They celebrate all the cast members' birthdays.

They post fan art.

So cute.

You know, so it's, it's nice to see.

And I know it's only January, but if we're going to start like a list for 2023 of films that are good when spending holiday time with your family, I think the sound of music is the first on our list.

Yes, it is already on my list.

I put it there last night.

And last night I was doing some more research about like the trap Trap family like now they go by the Traps they dropped the Vaughan when they came over

I think that's for the best yeah but they're so iconic as the Vaughan Trap family singers yeah uh

what did I learn about them oh that the movie like when during the Cold War when there was like threat of nuclear war like I guess the government put together a list of movies they were gonna play for people to watch while nuclear war played out and sound of music was one of them.

See, it's a timeless film.

We need to get a hold of that list.

Yes, add it to our holiday list.

Exactly.

So like I said, gorgeous show, gorgeous girls, gorgeous day of the week.

Yes, and I think without further ado, we should get on with it, usher you into the weekend with the Fast Five stories that you, yes, you, I know you think, no, I know,

I'm on TikTok, I know.

You don't.

You don't know these ones that you need to know.

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Our first story, I'm glad to put a pin in this conversation

from the entire week that Selena Gomez has clarified her relationship status amid the dating rumors that she is with Drew Taggart from the Chainsmokers.

Selena Gomez clarified she is single in a since-deleted Instagram story post on Thursday amid rumors she is dating the Chainsmokers member, Drew Taggart.

She said, quote, I like being alone too much against a photo, a black and white photo of the sky behind a mountain range.

And she added the hashtag, hashtag I am single.

And then she deleted it a few minutes later, but of course she posted it.

Okay, first of all, I'm shocked that like for once your denial actually came true.

Like I feel like you were in denial about Kim and Kanye.

You're like constantly in denial about things.

And you had, you had actually good proof and really good reasoning to the point where you actually convinced me that these two were not dating.

Like you're right.

They got pictures of them in a bowling alley where they're apparently making out, but nobody took a picture of them making out.

Sure.

No, you were 100% right.

I'm shocked that your like vehement denial actually turned out to be true.

Yes.

And this is a situation where you you have to trust your gut.

Like the other situations when, like, Kim and Kanye were getting divorced, like, I was in denial because I was just processing my grief.

Like, I didn't have reasons.

I wasn't like, no, for this, this, and this, they will be together.

Like, I think everybody couldn't tell that I was just processing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For this,

I trusted my intuition.

And I said that the truth booth said they are not a match.

But what's so weird is that she posted this photo, which was very clear, but there actually was a man in the bottom right corner.

There was a head of a man.

I thought what I first saw before I read the text, I'm like, oh, her and Drew, like relationship confirmation.

So to say you're single, but then to accidentally have your friends, like, who's a man's head, like in the bottom of the frame is just misleading.

Oh, for sure.

The whole thing is like kind of an interesting response, like considering Selena doesn't need to respond.

Like if you're single, you're single.

And she doesn't.

She doesn't really ever respond.

I have another theory now that just came to me.

I think it's like a cons like a bit of a conspiracy theory, but I'm just going to keep reading into everything.

Okay.

So she hashtagged I am single.

I feel

like

she has a single coming out called I Am.

Or it's called I Am Single.

Or it's called I Like Being Alone Too Much.

No, that's like the first lyric.

I like being alone too much to dance with your heart.

That was good.

Oh man, not me like making up like a Madonna.

I was about to ask you if that's a real song.

No.

Oh my God.

That's so nice.

I'm quaking.

It's the first line of I Am by Selena Hillman.

I like being alone.

Wait, what did I say?

I like being alone too much to dance with your heart.

Dance with your heart?

Who?

Literally, who am I?

I've never said that phrase in my entire life.

Keep going.

Sometimes like my artistic side just takes over.

Keep going.

This might be better than I drink wine, wine, wine, wine.

Okay.

I like being alone too much to dance with your heart.

But when I'm alone, I get lonely in the dark.

Should I write this on?

Keep going.

I don't want to push my luck on.

Okay, but you could skip to the chorus of I am single.

How would that go?

And would you, is it I am the single or I am single?

I am.

Okay.

And it'd be like,

I don't know.

I forgot the melody already.

I'm now nervous.

There's so much pressure.

No, no, no.

But the chorus is different than the bridges, so you could start fresh.

I need a minute.

I am.

I am.

And it would need to be like different phrases, like, I am great.

Not great, but like

I am free.

I am me.

And that's how it would end.

Like, I am me.

And then, I am single.

Yeah, no, single doesn't work.

But that opening line, I like being alone too much to dance with yawn.

What did I say after that?

Sometimes I get lonely when alone in the dark.

Yeah.

That's also how songwriters write.

They'll do a little bit of like.

I remember how your hands were all up in my hair.

Sometimes I can remember if you were even there.

Something like that.

Something like that.

But sometimes when songwriters write, they do a little bit of like fudging the lines.

Is this already a song, or am I making up like the most sickly melody you've ever heard?

This is not a song.

This is not a song.

So good.

So good.

I'm obsessed.

Claudia, you need to get into the studio.

Inspiration is struck.

No, and like it's important to know, I have two songs out.

They're amazing.

I had nothing to really to do with the writing of any except for like a few notes, you know?

Like I'm not, I didn't do the melody.

I had like people do that for me.

So this is the first time I'm like kind of like finding my artistic side.

Like I'm up, you know what?

I just need to really, I mean, never mind.

I was like, oh, that was so dumb.

Oh my gosh.

You're going to voice note in.

Record a voice note.

I'm like, this is literally being recorded.

Literally.

I'll lay be along to my to dance with y'all.

Oh man, I'm obsessed.

Obsessed.

Oh my God.

I hope that this is the case for Selena.

And even if it is, like, you could still write your song because now we'll have two songs called I Am.

No, what if like Selena hears this and then like changes her song and like steals my idea?

Oh.

But she doesn't contact you?

She would never.

She loves me.

And also like enough people listen to this podcast for us to really get some momentum.

Yeah.

Like we'd have the people on our side.

Yeah.

Cool.

Cool.

Well, I hope that I'm right about this being like phase one of a single announcement.

Of a launch.

Yeah.

That would just make this whole saga really exciting.

Can I tell you how when you used to live here and were, you know, my friend and my sister,

you bought a box of tissues for the studio and you were like, I don't know, like, I feel like we need tissues.

We have paper towels.

We've never had a box of tissues.

I'm just now finishing them.

It is the greatest gift you ever gave me.

You're going to miss them.

Tissues are, no, I just ordered more on Amazon.

Tissues are so underrated.

I know, I have a box here too, and I actually just used one this morning.

I had a sniffle.

I'm always wiping my nose with toilet paper or paper towel, or like honestly, my sleeve.

But tissues, I feel like I only get tissues if I'm like really sick.

And it's like, why?

Yeah.

Why?

I have tissues all over my house.

That's a Zach thing, but it's really nice.

It's gorgeous.

Yeah.

Just wanted to shout out to tissues.

These are puffs.

Use code toast.

No, I'm kidding.

Puffs.com, code toast gets you no discount and probably is a link that doesn't work.

And probably like puts you on some list.

Wait, what was I going to say?

You know what's such good marketing?

It's like I cannot say puffs without puffs plus indeed.

Yeah.

You know that commercial?

Yes, I do.

It's so sweet.

I like that commercial.

I'm glad.

You can move on to the next story if you want to.

Okay.

Our next story is a little shady news because Vanessa Hudgens reacted to her ex-Austin Butler's viral Elvis accent.

So Vanessa has stayed mom as Austin has ascended to previously unimagined

greatness, but she's now just saying one word.

So Page 6 posted an article saying Austin Butler's Elvis accent is genuine and might remain forever, said a voice coach.

Then an Instagram user commented saying he went to the Lady Gaga School of Oscar campaigning.

Then Vanessa commented crying.

Like she responded to that guy's comment.

A lot of people thought she were crying to the post of page six, which was the article.

No, she was responding to someone's funny comment.

Yeah, that he went to the Lady Gaga School of Oscar campaign acting.

Yeah.

Did Lady Gaga like have her accent?

It wasn't an accent, but she became Allie.

Like she was, there was no, it was indistinguishable who was who.

And like, you know, oh I was thinking house of Gucci sorry oh no she went hard for stars born that's what I think about when I think about oscar campaign yeah yeah but I was thinking about accent or or is this guy saying I don't really get his joke like I don't think it's that funny that like Videssa needed to comment like sometimes people sometimes people leave hysterical comments I guess I just pretended to understand to be a part of something yeah

or or is he saying you remember how lady gaga said like a million times there could be a hundred people like that's what i think of when I think of Lady Gaga Oscar campaigning.

There could be 100 people in a room.

She said that in every interview.

And maybe like his thing is like he's going to say that a thousand times.

Like this is his voice.

I don't know.

No, that's not what I got.

I got really like, you forget now, but like when it was her turn with Star Is Born, like her and Bradley, were they dating?

Were they not dating?

Like she was just like.

at all times being her character from the movie.

And that's what Austin is doing at all times being Elvis.

Right.

Like they had those billboards all throughout LA like of Lady Gaga as Allie, the pop star, and like being like, Allie, the pop star, new music.

And if you need reminding, like, remember Nina Dobrev's Halloween costume where she was the dumbest thing anyone's ever done.

But it's helpful in this situation because she dressed as a baby wearing a baby.

No, a star being a star be being.

No, she was dressed as a baby wearing a star because it was, she was just born.

A star is born.

And then she had like a sign that said like campaigning for an Oscar.

I sneezed on it.

It's true.

Bless you.

Yeah.

I just honestly, the comment isn't commenting for me.

Like I don't get it.

I just feel like she is

weighing in and semi-like dragging him for this face.

It's shady.

It's shady.

And I think she deserves that.

And by the way, and this is full-blown confirmation of what we all already knew.

Like.

Your voice doesn't sound like that.

He definitely had a very low register.

Like in the Carrie diaries, it was like very sexy.

He was like this teenage boy who had like a really low voice, but it's not even close to what it is now.

Yeah.

I also have like a really hot take.

Like, I thought Austin Butler was amazing in Elvis.

I thought Elvis was an amazing movie.

I can't even overstate how much I loved it, but I think he was miscast.

Why do you think that?

I just like,

he doesn't like when I watch videos of Elvis now, like they come up on my algorithm all the time.

And like,

he just didn't have that Elvis-ness.

He did it as much as he could.

Like he put on as much as he could, but like

it just, he required so much costume and makeup and extraness when like I think other people could have done it more naturally.

My takeaway from the film was that I thought he was amazing and I thought he definitely deserves an Oscar nomination.

I didn't think the movie was that great.

I had a lot of problems with the film itself.

Did you feel like it was a movie that was a real movie?

Yes.

Yes.

Well, that's good.

It had real movie-like qualities.

That's good.

I think he did an amazing job.

He did the best that he could have done.

But I think someone who was a little more naturally Elvis

would have just done a naturally better job.

Honestly, Miles Teller.

Like, that's.

No, I know what you mean.

Like, physically, there was a lot of, like, prosthetics and everything that made it, like, a little campy, like a little costumey.

Elvis was broad and big.

And, like, Elvis.

Austin's, like, small to me.

That's true, actually.

Elvis was like a tall king.

Yeah.

No, that's true.

So that's, but I loved it.

I think he doesn't deserve an Oscar for it, but he deserves to be nominated.

Nomination.

I agree.

It goes to Brendan Frazier or I'm protesting.

But we should watch the movie.

I need to see the whale.

It's in theaters.

I should just like get my fat ass up and go.

Show yourself.

So solo.

It's so nice to go to a movie alone.

As a woman in this climate?

Okay, fine.

Go with Ben so he can talk the whole time.

So like, why is this guy like here?

And like, why is he alone?

Is he wearing prosthetics?

Who's that?

Who's that?

Who's that?

Who's that?

Who's that?

I'm a bitch.

I'm literally seeing this movie for for the first time, too.

Shut up.

Get some popcorn.

Get yourself a big soda.

You know what?

That's a nice way to spend the day.

You know what?

I'm like kind of craving going to the movies now.

I'm like, I have such a fabulous weekend and like, I'm not going to cancel any of my plans.

Maybe one day next week, I should just buy the tickets.

Why didn't you go this afternoon?

Oh, that's actually a great idea.

A little matinee.

Ben is at a trade show.

Hawking that Spritz.

And why don't you go with Shannon?

Because we have like a fab night out planned.

Like I'm like, the town of the movies.

No, like she's like,

Shannon could make the movies fabulous again.

Let's go see the stars.

We don't know the rest of the story.

Justice for that version of Annie, which isn't the original and isn't the most modern one, but had wonderful moments.

Like that.

Like the Kathy Bates one?

Yes.

And that was like an original song to that movie.

No, the best one's the original.

No, I think the one that I grew up with is Kathy Bates.

Yeah, but that one's like,

you know, a little watered down.

I liked it.

I love it.

And they added scenes, and that was really good.

And songs, who knew?

And songs.

The original is so good.

And then the new one is so good, too.

I love all.

And then, of course, live.

Something smells like it's burning.

You should go check on it.

I'm going to go check.

Give me a second.

Oh, my God.

So much drama here at the toast today.

Earlier, Jackie's Wi-Fi went out for a second.

Like we were on our interface and she bounced.

Now the house is burning down.

What do we do?

I'm holding everything down here at the studio in New York.

Theo's here.

He's asleep, so he's not being much help.

Also, like, I don't want to speak it because then I feel like it'll be true.

I'm like really worried that Theo's losing his hearing.

Every time I say like, want to go.

O-U-T or do you want to E-A-T?

Those are like his trigger words and he knows he'll hop up off the bed.

And the last couple couple of weeks, I have to say it like four times and like,

and he's like, not listening.

Is everything okay, Jax?

She's back, you guys.

What happened?

What happened?

All good.

The good news is it only smelled like that in here.

And then I went out and the AC repairman is here and he needed to test the heat.

So the heat just came on full glass and it smelled.

All right, no worries.

I was telling everyone about something I'm going through.

Do you want to talk to me about it?

Can I help?

Like, I don't really want to like verbalize it because like once you say things they become true but like me and ben both think like very

it's very possible maybe we're just overreacting like theo might be losing his hearing no he's just ignoring you

that's also possible but like when i say the things that he loves about like going out for walks and like he's just like he has to we have to say it like three times maybe he's just tired what about when you say you want to eat That's what I'm saying.

Like sometimes, no, actually with the food, he always eats.

So he's fine.

He's fine.

He's fine.

We're just constantly worried about him, you know?

I mean the worrying never stops with these boys

Ain't that the truth?

I'm like sneezing so much today and I don't even feel sick Well, you better rest up before your big night.

I love sneezing.

It's like what feels better than that?

I don't know except like when my sneezes smell weird that I'm like am I dying?

Yeah, that's a fun fact about Claudia if you get if you're ever close enough to her to smell a sneeze Yeah, I think it's because I have tonsils.

I have tonsils.

Oh

Not all of my sins smell.

Like, I don't want to be painted as gross.

Like, I have really good oral hygiene.

Maybe I have like a sinus infection.

I don't know.

It's just something sweet about you.

I have so many problems.

Okay, let's get into our next story, which is really a crazy story.

Trigger warning, suicide.

There's a lot going on here.

I was telling you about it yesterday.

Naomi Judd's final note revealed.

So Naomi Judd wrote in what appears to be her chilling suicide note that she did not want her, quote, mentally ill daughter, Winona Judd, to attend her funeral.

Radar Online obtained a photo of the message written on a yellow post-it note from the Williamson County Sheriff's Office in Tennessee on Tuesday.

The post-it note said, quote, do not let Y come to my funeral.

She's mentally ill.

The word not was underlined, indicating how strongly Naomi felt about banning Winona from her services.

So some images have come out from the crime scene in her bedroom where she took her life.

Which seems like really like,

should we be seeing that?

I don't know what the

laws are.

Yeah.

And this note was left with her, which is

really shocking.

A source close to Winona told the outlet that she's crushed by her mom's last words.

A friend said, Y knows better than anyone the mental struggles Naomi went through, but it just crushes her to think her mom's dying thoughts were so vicious.

It's also worth remembering that Naomi's daughters, Winona, Judd, and Ashley Judd, were written out of her will.

Right, which we reported on a few weeks ago, or maybe even months ago.

When the initial news came out.

Right.

And so we were like, you know, we'll just have to wait and see, but it definitely seems like there's bad blood.

And now I think this is like a beyond confirmation of just at least where her relationship with Winona stands.

I don't know about Ashley.

Yeah.

I can't have been amazing if she didn't leave her anything in her will.

Right.

But she wasn't on the side.

Not as bad as

this.

Is like so sad and crazy.

Yeah.

And it's like everyone's pointing the finger.

It's like Naomi, or in the letter, Naomi's like, Wynona's mentally ill.

And then Wynona said, you know, it's so hard to

believe what anybody says when they're mentally ill, implying that her mom was.

So it's like, it's like that Spider-Man meme.

It's you, it's you.

Like, who is, who's the mentally ill one?

Right.

Why'd you call her Wynona?

That's what people call her, by the way.

Really?

Yeah.

i literally was watching like kelsey ballerini's story and she was like so excited for this year like i'm doing the judge tour with winona oh my god and i'm like fairly certain like if you're from the south that's how you say it but like i could be making all of this up no it's it's interesting because i guess her name is spelled w-y but like winona rider is w-i

i think winona is such a cute name I think it is too.

Like if I was a southern girly, like I would like that.

Yeah.

But I'm almost positive it's Wynona.

Oh my God.

Okay.

That's a lot like for me to calibrate.

Take your time.

I will.

I will work it in when reporting on this story.

But anyways, this like Judd family saga just is so

crazy.

And like I wouldn't say like before all this happened, I was particularly like, you know, interested in their dynamics, but this is this is crazy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wishing them the best.

Me as well.

Are you ready for our next story, which is more sad news?

Is it unfortunately brought to you?

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We didn't want to kill each other and like choke each other after setting up a bed.

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Today's episode is also brought to you by Vegamore.

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You know what that just reminded me of when in your intro things we used to put in our hair?

Olive oil.

Yeah, back in the day, we were girlies who every summer would come home from camp with lice.

I feel like considering we were four girls and we went to summer camp every summer, we didn't get it that many times.

Like we could have gotten it more than we did.

We had it like a handful of times, but like we didn't get it until a little later in life.

Later in life, and then I feel like it was, you know, five summers in a row where we got it.

We never got it during the school year.

Yeah.

But then

we would have to sit down strand by strand.

Someone would pick through our hair.

And then for two weeks, we had to sleep with olive oil in our hair, which wasn't the worst.

The worst was waking up so early to get it out.

Olive oil out of your hair before school.

But it's not like you could just use shampoo and conditioner to get olive oil out of your hair.

You had to use dawn.

You have to use dawn.

But wait, you can't like get in the shower, wet your hair and then use dawn.

You have to do it in the sink and you couldn't run water on it.

You had to lather your hair in the dawn, dry, but like with the olive oil, scrub so hard.

Oh my God, it was some of the worst mornings of my fucking life.

Yeah.

And then it's like you don't want to go to school with a wet head.

So you're like trying to blow dry your hair before school, but you're also like 10.

No matter how much you scrubbed with the dawn, you would have like by the time your hair dried, your hair was fucking oily.

Oh, I disagree.

It wasn't oily.

And actually, I think the olive oil is actually really nice for your hair, but the dawn then ruins any progress you made.

But it was a really effective method of getting rid of lice.

Like once they sit you down and go through all with that tiny comb, they go through your entire head.

It would take hours.

They pretty much got everything, but to ensure that.

They got everything that you can see, but then there are like not the eggs.

It could have been eggs that were laid an hour ago.

Right.

So you had to do the olive oil for two weeks because eggs can lay for up to two weeks.

It was, it was literally horrible.

Yeah.

So now I was thinking about that, how it felt.

Oh, I'm so glad you brought that up.

Sleep in the shower cap of olive oil.

Yeah.

So like after we would get lathered up, we would like sit and watch TV.

We couldn't lean back on the couch.

All four of us with like literally sopping wet olive oil hair wrapped in a shower cap.

And like a towel around our neck.

Yes.

Oh my God.

And our sheets and our pillowcases like were destroyed.

And we stuck towels towels on our pillows, but still it soaks through.

Some of us were rough sleepers.

Yeah.

It was horrible.

Horrible.

I don't know.

Like now I'm looking back at it like nostalgically.

Of course.

But like that, like when you couldn't sleep because your hair was making so much noise because the shower cap was like rustling against the towel.

Yeah.

Horrible.

Yeah.

Not fun.

Anyways, if any of your kids have lice, I'm sorry.

That like drugstore shit, like that shit doesn't work.

Yeah, no, but that's actually, that's really how you get rid of it.

Like

two weeks of sleeping with olive oil in your hair.

Yeah.

It's the best way.

We tried.

Horrible.

Our next story, as stated, some more sad news.

Leslie Jordan's cause of death has been confirmed.

So Leslie Jordan, the beloved actor, died on October 24th at the age of 67, and his cause of death has been confirmed as a sudden cardiac dysfunction.

The actor died when the medical event caused him to crash into a building in Hollywood, California,

according to the L.A.

County Coroner's Office and documents obtained by people from the Department of the Medical Examiner, Coroner.

They determined that his death in his car was from natural causes and listed artiosclerotic cardiovascular disease as a secondary factor.

There was no evidence of drugs or alcohol in his system.

He had been sober for more than two decades at the time of his death.

This is so sad.

Like,

it's just really sad.

It's not like anything like happened, you know?

Yeah.

I love Leslie Jordan.

I feel like ever since he passed away, and I feel like this happens a lot with famous people who pass away, like their content gets served to you more.

I don't know if like more people are searched for it.

But he feels like he was a content king.

Yeah.

And he really popped off in the last couple of years, even though he's been acting for, you know, so long.

But I feel like I'm constantly being reminded of him and like how genuinely funny he was.

And it's just sad.

Yeah.

It's really sad.

I'm glad that they confirmed what had happened because it was a bit of a mystery.

Right.

And that there wasn't anything nefarious.

I didn't know he was sober for so long.

That's awesome.

That is awesome.

I love that.

Yeah.

So our fifth and final story,

a little Kelly news.

Oh, thank God.

Kelly Clarkson has been granted restraining orders against two alleged stalkers.

Is it us?

Literally, that was the joke I was going to make.

Shit, sorry.

The Grammy winner was granted permanent restraining orders against two alleged stalkers on Thursday, TMZ reported.

Per the outlet, the individuals, Claudia and Jacqueline Austral, are prohibited, just kidding, their names are not us, are prohibited from making contact of any kind with Clarkson or her children for the next five years.

Additionally, they must reportedly stay at least 100 yards away from the family.

The perpetrators have allegedly showed up at her LA home on multiple occasions and caused disturbances.

Oh my God.

Like, Kelly is constantly going through stuff.

Like, can't she just be America's sweetheart, build her business, like, in peace?

Like, it's not the divorce.

It's a stalker.

Like, stop.

Like, leave her alone.

Everyone is always coming for Kelly's dad.

No, and she couldn't be doing more for this country.

And this country does nothing for her.

We couldn't be more obsessed with Kelly, but you don't see us stalking her.

You know, like, you could be a fan.

If we can control ourselves, so can you.

That's the music.

I thought the story was going to be that Kelly did a nine-to-five like cover.

She made a music video and everything.

It's so cute.

She did a nine-to-five cover, like on, it's been on Spotify for a while.

oh so then i guess she officially made a music video because i saw it this morning when i was like scrolling before i had to get out of bed um she made the cutest little music video you know she was stumbling out of bed tumbling to the kitchen pouring herself a cup of ambition yawning stretching just basically trying to come to life um and it was adorable that's so cute yeah she has a nine to five cover i'm glad there's a music video for it but the thing about kelly is that she works so much more than nine to five

Kelly does the five to nine and then the nine to five.

Yeah.

Like

amazing stuff.

She does does her nine to five Kelly Clarkson show.

And then after that, she's a mother.

She's a singer.

She's a performer.

Like

an author.

Do you think that she's a furniture designer?

Right.

Wayfair for Kelly Clarkson or Kelly Clarkson for Wayfair.

Do you think Kelly will ever go on tour again?

I feel like I've asked you that because like with her new life.

Yes.

When she puts out her next album, I think she will go on tour because I think she likes.

touring and she used to no but how does the kelly clarkson show she'll go in the offseason i i think she'll tour she knows the fans want to see her she knows what was her last tour i think the love so soft

meaning of life

meaning of life and she had like a bar on stage i didn't go to that tour no me neither and like i didn't know it was gonna be the last one for an eternity don't ask me why because we didn't know it was gonna be the last one for a decade yeah

Lots of people announcing tours.

Who?

Madonna just announced one.

Oh, yeah.

I saw that video.

She had a bunch of friends over and Amy Schumer dared.

Yeah, that was real.

That was like really desperate.

I was shocked by that, like kind of desperate.

Like I was watching it because, and weirdly, I got, I saw it because I followed Diplo and he posted it.

He was there.

And he said, like, didn't know what this dinner was when I was invited.

And then so I found out from Diplo that Matana's going on like a world tour of her greatest hits and

then, but I didn't see it anywhere else.

Okay.

I want to say something.

And this is an extremely, extremely hot take.

Okay.

And I know people are going to maybe disagree with me, and that's fine.

I'm not saying my opinion is the right opinion.

It's just my opinion.

But like my POV of Madonna, and I was not alive for like the real heyday.

Like I know she was like the Taylor Swift.

I know, I know 80s, 90s, maybe even in the early 2000s.

But everything I've seen of Madonna in the last 10 years is

genuinely pathetic.

Every time I see her like do something, it actually makes me sad.

Everything she does is desperate.

I can't even imagine that there, and I know, I know that nobody agrees with me.

And I just want to say, like, I'm not saying I'm right, but like, I can't even imagine there being someone who wants to buy a ticket to her concert, but I know she's going to do arenas all around the world.

I know.

I'm just like shocked.

Like, I think, you know,

she like wakes up every day trying to recapture the magic of the 80s.

Like, that's how I perceive it.

And I know that's like not, maybe not accurate, but that's how I see it.

Yeah.

I don't think she's doing herself a lot of favors in the last

everything.

Interviews, anything i ever see with madonna like it's never premium and it's never like

i feel like keeping her legacy in a strong place like and i i disagree that people won't want to go see her like people want to go and relive no i'm saying i'm saying i'm sure i know that there are i cannot even imagine yo i can imagine someone who's like 80s 90s and those are their hits and like no they don't want to who else are they going to see in con they want to see their people in concert it would be like in 20 years you go and see taylor swift and while she performs songs from today.

But like,

I think Madonna's tours and this one too are going to be like on the level of Taylor Swift.

She's going to do stadiums.

She's going to go global.

And the way I see her, I see her like a share.

Yeah.

Cher does like tours, but it's only,

you know, greatest hits.

She's not releasing new music.

And it's never, it's not even close to the scale of what Madonna's have been.

And I think this one will be.

Madonna's is very much on the same level as like Elton John.

Yeah.

And Elton John, I totally understand.

Like, to me, he's still so relevant in culture without being like a desperate kind of like has-been vibe.

The Madonna, Madonna, like, it just doesn't make sense to me.

Yeah.

You know what Madonna needs?

She needs a movie like Rocket Man and Bohemian Rhapsody.

She needs.

I agree with that.

I think that would help people like us understand

obsession.

It was like the same people who made Rocket Man and Bohemian Rhapsody, right?

They had like such the same vibe.

They didn't have the same vibe.

But like the marketing.

No, they just came out at the same time.

Rocket Man was like confessions of a teenage drama queen.

It was so good.

More like musical comedy.

And Bohemian Rhapsody was very serious.

And the guy who made it was like a big

pedophile?

Question mark, alleged.

Who?

Remember, it was a whole scandal and no one wanted to nominate the movie for anything.

Is it Brian Singer?

Yeah, yeah.

What's What's his, uh, I don't know if he's a pedophile.

I think he's, you know, classic Hollywood, you know, no such thing as no.

Me too vibe.

No such thing as no.

He was reportedly up to his old tricks on the Bohemian Rhapsody set.

What are his old tricks?

Yeah, he's a controversial one.

But it's not kids.

See, that's why Hollywood is such, like, so bullshit hypocrisy.

Like, Me Too, they made this whole thing.

Like, hashtag time's up.

They're all wearing pins.

And then the next year, they got Brian Singer making movies for everyone.

Like, please, don't tell me you actually care.

You don't.

So just stop pretending.

In 1997, a 14-year-old extra accused Singer of asking him and other minors to film a shower scene nude for the film Apt Pupil.

Two other adolescent boys, 16 and 17 years old, later supported the 14-year-old's claim.

So like I said, like nobody in Hollywood actually cares.

Brian Singer's former employee partner details years of alleged abuse.

So he abused his his assistant he's accused of molesting and raping underage boys oh my god

okay that's disgusting and honestly the film shouldn't be nominated yeah i don't know if it wound up winning anything but then like if the argument is like well oh the argument was like well like what about the lighting you know people worked really hard on this movie but like rami malak was amazing

you know wait No, you're talking, you said he did

rock and no, he did Bohemian Rhapsody.

Oh, uh, Rami Malik was amazing, right?

So, but see, that's on people.

It's honestly on people in Hollywood who have power, like Rami Malik and Lucy, to say, I'm not working with this director.

Like, nobody actually cares.

Yeah, they just did it like performatively to wear the pin on the Oscars.

Hashtag time's up.

You know, this is finally coming.

Thank God.

And nobody actually did anything.

So, you know what?

I don't care about these people.

And I don't know why we all look to them as like some sort of role models when they're so morally corrupt.

Like Faye Resnick couldn't even.

Yeah.

So those are the fascinating.

So you need someone who's a wonderful pillar of society to make a Madonna biopic.

Yes, and I think it should be Kenny Ortega.

By the way, I don't know why Kenny Ortega never

like evolved past Disney into doing like large-scale theatrical musical productions like for Hollywood.

Like Kenny Ortega is so talented.

He could win Oscar.

He's got what it takes.

You know, I fell down a rabbit hole and I got pranked um

like it was going around that jenna ortega was kenny ortega's like niece or something and it actually made a lot of sense you know yeah but she's not there's no relationship that's really funny it was a good one though i i got chrissed what's it you got what when you get chris what's that

um like It's this thing where like you prank someone on the internet and then like you say something crazy and then right after you say it, you put that little video of Chris Jenner dancing.

Gidgey, Gidgy, yeah, yeah, that's that.

Like I got you.

And it's called Getting Krissed.

Like it's like getting pranked.

That's so funny.

I've not heard of any of this.

No, it's like,

Jackie and I are devastated to announce that this will be our final episode of The Toast ever.

Gidget, get you, yeah, yeah, ta-ta.

You've been crissed.

I don't love a prank.

A harmless prank I'm okay with.

Yeah, but do they ever stop?

People don't know the line.

No.

No, they don't.

People take it too far.

Yeah.

So those are the fast five.

This was our final episode of the week.

It was fabulous hanging out with you guys all week.

Jack's always a pleasure.

Thanks to you as well, McLeod.

Hope everyone has a great weekend, whether that's being productive, being lazy, getting drunk, rearing children, whatever it is, it's all equally as valuable.

So, thank you so much for listening to The Toast, The Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories you need to do every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So, if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast.

Wait, before I leave, I just want Theo wants to say bye.

Oh, my sweet angel.

Can he hear me?

No, it's been a while since Theo's been on the show, so everyone, he just wanted to say, Rot, Ro, thank you all so much.

I love you all, and I love the toast because it really helps make my mom a star.

That's what he said.

Thank you so much for listening to the Dido Civil Liberty Morning Show where we deal with the Assize Stories on YouTube everybody's Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts anywhere.

Podcasts can be found.

So at Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeart Radio Castbox, all the places where we listen to podcasts, find us a toast leafy five-star review about a beautiful starting and wickedly talented way.

Hope you guys have an increase of weekend.

We'll see you

on Monday.

Love ya.

Bye.