Greta vs. The Coal Miners: Wednesday, January 18th, 2023
- Dear Toasters Advice Segment (55:12)
The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob)
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Transcript
Good morning, Millennials.
Welcome back to the toast and happy Wednesday.
It is hump day, the most important and sort of vital day here at the toast.
Hey, Jax, how you doing?
I'm doing well.
I'm glad that you're speaking to the importance of hump day because not only is it vital to the toast, like it's vital to the world population.
Like if we ain't humping, we ain't procreating.
And
humanity could cease to, humanity could go extinct without hump day.
If we ain't humping, we ain't jumping.
Well, that's true because it rhymes.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Happy Wednesday, everyone.
It is a gorgeous day here in New York and Florida, I'm assuming.
We have a.
It is, it's so freezing.
I don't know if it's just my house, but like it has been colder here.
And then when it's cold here, my house gets so cold, like my heat doesn't work.
And we've just kind of given up.
And so like frosty, I brought out my blanket today because I'm just having chill.
By the way, our house is so weird because like me and Ben, no matter what time of year, we sleep in a tundra.
Like, but you know, we have people come to the house and when I'm in the living room eating dinner, I don't need to be freezing.
So our like living, dining, kitchen, main living areas are like set at the heat, 80 degrees.
You open the door to our bedroom.
igloo.
It's like 59 degrees.
It's freezing.
We've never turned the air off in our bedroom.
It's too different.
I'm living in the North and South Pole.
That's not very green of you, McLaren.
You know what?
I don't want the pressure of being a green girl.
Like, yesterday's episode was hilarious, but you know what?
I just want to say, like, on my part, I'm not going to speak for Jackie.
I was joking.
Like, I don't want to be a green girl.
Like, I care about the environment for sure, but I don't want to categorize myself as a green girl because then I'll do something and people will be like, Really, Claudia?
You could have walked.
It was only two blocks.
Well, you know what?
I'm tired.
And you're not a green girl.
And I'm not a green girl.
Why would you have walked?
So I don't want that expectation being put on me.
You know what I mean?
It's too much.
I understand.
I understand.
I already have a lot of people.
I put so much pressure on myself.
Like, I didn't choose this life is the thing.
Like, it kind of chose me.
The Tesla chose me.
And I'm doing what I look at my cup today, you guys.
Oh, my God.
If you're listening to this podcast for the first time in six seasons, Jackie is drinking her coffee out of a mug, not
a plastic cup.
And strawberry.
I used to always drink hot coffee and and I'm drinking a hot coffee today because as stated, I'm chilly.
But when we would do the toast in New York, I had to take my hot coffee on the road, hence, you know, a disposable cup.
But now that I'm in my house drinking out of my mug, like I have a mug.
So I have a mug and I have a Tesla.
You can't.
And by the way, yesterday, Greta Thunberg was actually detained by German forces for protesting at a coal mine.
So it seems like she's going to be out of commission for a bit.
And the spotlight for like a new famous green girly is empty.
And it sounds like Greta needs a temporary replacement.
Me.
The only thing is with that, my wires are crossing because I support the Toonies, but I support the coal miners.
Yeah, no, I want to know what she was, what she was talking about.
Was she protesting the miners?
Because you come for the miners, I come for you.
She was protesting coal mining in general because like it emits...
greenhouse gases that are bad for the environment, but like that's a tough one for me.
No, yeah, because it's like, do we, where do we care more about the gases being emitted from the coal mining or coal miners working hard providing for their families?
And I think what they mine like creates like everything.
Yeah, like I'm not 100% sure like
no, it's like that's like really important shit and it's like a job nobody wants and it's like the lowest totem pole.
So I'm gonna stick with the coal miners because I support here in America, like I support hardworking people, the men and women of coal mining industries supporting their families and they're really the backbone of this nation.
And for how much we talk about them, I really should learn like what coal miners do.
Like what are they mining?
Where does the coal go?
I feel like the coal makes like energy.
Yeah.
They're mining coal and then we use that coal and like burn that coal to create fuel and a bunch of other things that keep us running.
Sounds like it's it's a no-brainer.
Like we need the coal miners, Greta.
There are so many other worthy places.
Sit this one out.
She girl busts a little too close to the sun on that.
The pictures of her getting arrested.
Well, not arrested.
They said detained.
I don't know what the difference is.
She was like walked off of this set.
Yeah.
Did you see?
There's a video.
So the pictures of her went viral because she's in the arms of like four big German detainees and she's just chilling.
They're holding her limb by limb, one for her arm, one for her other arm, one for her leg, one for her other leg.
And she's just chilling, like not bothered.
And it looks like this like triumphant photo.
And then I saw a video of it and it wasn't as triumphant and there was like a guy being like, Greta, can I get a selfie with you?
And she's like, hee hee hee.
Like for a while, she's just like standing there there with the police officers.
Like, nothing's really happening.
They're just like taking pictures.
It was...
It was getting photo up.
It was.
But that's, I think, what Greta lives for.
No, and the green girlies, we can't turn on each other, you know?
No, no, we can't.
But like, you came for the coal miners, Greta.
I know.
And I don't know how we can.
I draw the line.
I draw the line at the coal miners.
I do.
Also, like, doesn't she have to go to school?
I've often wondered that about Greta Toon.
But here's the thing about the great greta
is that when she first popped on the scene everyone was like shook and she was like 16 that was like six years ago she's only
yeah are you okay because i also then part of me like feels weird even talking about her because i'm like she's 20
she's not i think she's in her 20s now she's 20 okay
so she
doesn't need she probably has her high school degree it's also different in germany about college yeah is she german
I thought she was German.
What accent is this?
How dare you?
I thought she was like Swedish.
Jared, Greta, to me.
I thought she's Dutch.
No, she's definitely Dutch.
She is from Sweden.
Oh, okay.
She's got that Icelandic.
No, not Icelandic.
What?
Nordic.
Nordic.
Yeah.
I swear I thought she was German.
Well, it was confusing because like then she was in Germany yesterday.
Right, right.
Doing, you know, protesting like they're coal miners.
Like, right, like you don't know German culture, Greta.
Stay out of it.
No, one thing about Greta, she's not going to stay out of it.
She's going to make it her business.
Yeah.
And that's why she's as successful as she was and why she is.
And that's why she was Time Woman of the Year, like when she was four.
Time girl of the year.
That's also why she and I had to cancel our lunch plans.
But now things are kind of like a little awkward with us just because she knows where I stand about the coal miners.
Coal miners, yeah.
And like, and then she now has a problem with me.
So I don't know what the green community is for me.
I think the green girlies like might be breaking up.
Yeah, there's just a lot of wires, and everybody, you know, like everybody has their
agenda.
Yeah, I'm bowing out.
I don't want to be a green girly.
It's too much pressure.
I want to continue to care about the environment, but care about myself a little bit more and
do that in peace.
But that's why driving a Tesla is so perfect because you get to be like inadvertently green and you like look sickening and like a futuristic robot.
Oh my God.
You know, I did take an Uber to the studio today, even though it's walkable.
I was just so tired.
And I got a Tesla, so I actually
started with me in spirit.
No, and I didn't omit any, you know,
greenhouse gas emissions.
Carbon emissions.
Yeah, like it wasn't, it wasn't bad for the environment for me to take an Uber today.
That's good.
Yeah.
That's really good.
So all in all, are you supportive of me getting a Tesla?
There was like whispers that you didn't seem supportive.
You know, actually, I wanted to talk about that yesterday because I was FaceTiming with two of my friends yesterday.
I was probably in just all day, like one of the worst moods.
One of the worst fucking moods.
And I was re-watching the show yesterday.
And as I was doing the show yesterday, I was like, I knew I had like a mug on my face and like, I just didn't fucking care.
So I actually did want to apologize to you and to everyone.
Like, I just was in like a fucking nasty ass mood yesterday.
And I was trying.
I was like, mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And like, I was just in a bad mood.
I didn't even, I didn't notice the mm-hmm.
I was, I was literally in such a bad, I got such bad sleep the night before last.
Like, I was in such a bad mood.
And I'm feeling better today.
So now I can acknowledge that I was wrong.
Like, I was just, like, if you watch my face yesterday, especially at the beginning, after like 10 or 15 minutes, even if you're in a bad mood, the toast brings you out of it.
But in the beginning, I was like a mean muggin yesterday.
Got it.
Got it.
But like, aside from the bad mood, like, I feel like there's a part of you that's just like not convinced about me getting a Tesla.
Okay, don't be paranoid.
I'm very convinced.
Oh, okay, cool.
What's wrong?
Why wouldn't I pursue you?
Because he's like wanting to send me to a charging station.
Okay.
I see what you mean.
I'm just, I want you to be thinking it through, you know?
Like, I just want you to know all the different, you know, responsibilities that come along.
And I'm cheap.
I'm like, where can we go get free charge?
You know?
Free energy.
Free energy.
Free energy.
And I'm sorry if that made it seem like I wasn't supportive.
I'm just, I'm trying to think of all possible scenarios, you know?
Got it.
Okay, cool, cool, cool.
I'm glad that you're excited.
And I just know when you come down here, like, we're going to drive it.
I'm going to ride around my whip and you're going to be obsessed.
I will say,
I have been driven in a Tesla by like friends two times.
Once by Lauren Elizabeth and once, actually, not to brag, by Ryan Phillippe.
And both times, the one thing I didn't like about the car, and you don't drive fast, so like I'm not worried about that, is when you like go from like, you know, standing to driving fast, like there's such a.
You know?
Yeah.
It's like if you hit the gas, like you're everyone goes flying.
You know, Kyle Bush Who's that?
NASCAR.
Yes, it's like vroom and like your hair like you get pulled back.
Yeah, that's like supposed to be a perk, but you know that won't be me.
I do not feel the need for speed.
Now, let's just circle back
the car ride with Ryan Phillippe.
Yeah, one time he drove me to a party.
Just you and him?
No, no, the car was full.
But it felt like it was just me and him.
What seat were you in?
I was beha was driving and I was behind him in the back seat.
That's not so bad.
At least you weren't like in the back back.
No, no, but I wasn't, you know, his passenger princess.
You weren't shotgun.
No, I wasn't shotgun.
I was sitting right behind Ryan.
That's pretty cool.
Was he a good driver?
Yeah.
What kind of Tesla do you remember?
It had the doors that go up.
It was actually really sick.
Yeah.
That's Monolax.
It was really sick.
That's pretty cool.
It was a Batmobile.
Yeah, it was a Batmobile.
I think it was white.
I really can't remember.
I didn't know that story.
So that's a cool story.
One thing about me is I am an endless well of thirsty stories.
Like,
that's just me.
If there's a celebrity involved, like, I'm going to tell it.
But you haven't told that one.
It hasn't come up.
You know, makes you wonder, like, what else we don't know about you.
I know.
I feel like actually, I'm so braggadocious.
Is that the right word?
Like, when you're braggy?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm so braggadocious, like, about everything, but actually, I feel like a lot of stories I have with celebrities, I actually keep close to the best because one, I don't know,
I won't get invited back.
And like, two, you never know, like, how celebrities feel.
Like, some, some like it, some don't.
Like, I don't know.
So, I just like shut my mouth.
Yeah, I understand.
I feel like there's a statute of limitation, and then you tell the story.
Yes.
Yes.
Understood.
We look forward to hearing about what happened in LA for real.
Speaking about things.
Two years.
Literally.
Thinking about, no, speaking about things that I'm looking forward to, today's like a really big day.
Jackie and I decided, we've had this idea for a while, and we weren't sure exactly how to do it from a technology, technology standpoint, but we figured it out with the help of YouTube.
Tonight, we've been wanting to do a live show, like a digital virtual live show on our Patreon forever.
We like, we looked into a bunch of different platforms and we figured out the best way to do it is on YouTube, we think.
Tonight is our first one.
So if you're a Patreon member, you already know, but if you aren't a Patreon member, you've been thinking about becoming a Patreon member,
or this just sounds exciting to you, it's not too late to sign up.
So today at five o'clock Eastern time, Jackie and I are doing our first YouTube live show.
Jack's from Florida Studio, me from my house.
We're going to be doing cocktails, pop culture, chit-chatting, Greta Thunberg.
It's all going to be live.
So it's kind of like our old audio-only live show with Spotify Live breaking bread.
We're calling this one Freaking Fred, just because we don't own the name legally and we don't want to get in trouble sued by Spotify.
But it'll be similar.
It'll be similar.
It'll be the aforementioned.
You know, 45 minutes to an hour.
Jackson Claude original recipe.
The live chat will be back.
If you remember from the old YouTube live days, you'll be able to comment in real time on YouTube.
If you can't catch it and you are a member or you want to become a member, you'll be able to watch it afterwards on demand.
But it'll be like exciting to be there live.
I'm very excited.
I'm excited too.
I'm excited to see what people have to say.
That'll help inform the combo.
We're going to just talk about pop culture things ourselves.
And then, you know, late night, Jax and Claude, not,
you know, early evening.
Things get wild.
Jax gets crazy, like kind of delirious, like after being a mom and
a worker all day.
I keep it together on this show.
You know, I'm very much like the,
on the straight and narrow.
After dark, she gets wild.
There's no telling what'll happen.
There's no telling.
So I'm really excited for that.
We have been talking about doing that for a while.
Everybody loved breaking bread, so they're going to love freaking Fred.
It's
kind of going to like change the world.
I think so.
I really do.
Plus, to be live with our
peeps again.
Yeah.
The comments always crack me up.
It's going to be really fun.
So we will see you there.
It's not too late to join if you want to get in on the fun.
It's patreon.com slash the toast.
$7.99 is our premium subscription.
And you basically get five extra episodes from Jackson Claude every month.
That's vlogs, podcasts, video podcasts.
And it's fabulous.
So there's no reason not to.
Great.
And we've actually recently brought back a segment that we used to do on this show, but it wasn't right for our show called Unburden Yourselves.
We brought it back on Patreon, and I think we're going to start doing it maybe like once a month because it was so funny.
It was.
So people excited to unburden themselves.
Yeah, it's been a long time.
Oh, and speaking of, today's Wednesday, so we have deer toasters.
And we have one that I actually feel personally
like invested in and like offended by.
Ooh, okay.
Can't wait.
You'll see why.
It's our second one.
Okay, can't wait to get to that.
Before we get into everything, anything else you want to update the group on?
No, I literally watched 45 minutes, 45 episodes of Mindy Project last night.
People say it goes downhill after season three, and they're not wrong, but it's still like a good, funny, fresh show.
It's not like bad.
Nice.
Yeah.
I started reading Hill Billy Elegy.
I know it had a big moment a few years ago and it was movie.
Hill Billy Elegy?
Have you heard of it?
Hillbilly Elegy is a movie too, like Amy Adams, Glenn Clause.
No, I never heard of this.
And I thought it would be a good follow-up for me to Demon Copperhead, which was like about Appalachia.
It's, you know, it was honestly amazing.
And the author, you know, attempted to write the great Appalachian novel to like represent her people and what they've gone through.
So I wanted to learn more.
So I just had heard of Hillbilly Elegy.
It was on my Want to Read.
So I was like, maybe this feels like a good time to read it.
It's nonfiction, though.
And I'm getting, it's a lot of nonfiction, you know?
What have the Appalachian people been through?
Pardon my ignorance.
I have literally no idea.
They've been through a lot.
And honestly, it has to do with the coal mining.
Like they were like the mining communities and then like the mines went away
and
now like they're really struggling with the opioid crisis.
And it's just like this cycle of poverty.
Yeah.
Like generational poverty that they can't get out of and they're just like kind of like they're just like so disrespected.
And yeah, the whole thing is fun of.
They get made fun of.
Like and it's like that in Demon Copperhead, he was like, we have TV.
We see what you're saying.
Like
it's not nice.
Let me ask you another question that's going to show how dumb I am.
Where is Appalachia?
Appalachian Mountains, but
it's a number of states.
So, like,
Demon Copperhead was in Virginia.
Hillbilly Elegy is like between Kentucky and
where's the other place that they moved?
Ohio.
But it's like the Rust Belt.
It's a lot of states.
Got it.
Oh, my God.
That's so sad.
I don't think I've ever made fun of Appalachian people, but now I'm going to look out for it.
Yeah, like even just the word, you know, Hillbilly and those sorts of words.
I thought Hillbilly was just like southerner.
It's it's condescending.
For sure.
It's condescending, but I think and redneck too.
But I think in
country music is like attempting to take the words back, you know?
Yeah, well, that's also in Demon Copperhead, that's what he said.
Like, you know, it's the name that they call us.
And then, you know, you take your power back by calling it to yourself.
But
it likes red letters, red dirt.
Yeah, but it's still a disrespectful name.
It's not a slur, but it's like, it's like white trash.
Like, white trash is not a slur, but it's like condescending.
But it's bad.
It shouldn't be like used if we're not going to be using scary words.
Yeah, but it's not like a hard slur.
It's like one level below.
For sure, but like we've taken out one, we've taken out four levels below.
That's true.
Like that Lizzo thing.
Like that's what I was just thinking of.
S-P-A-Z.
For, I think they said it was ableist.
Like you won't even say it, but we're saying everything else that we're saying.
So true.
So that's like, there was a lot of points made in Demon Copperhead.
It's just, it was so, so good.
And I just wanted to educate myself further.
So I thought Hillbilly Elegy would be good.
Also, it's in the 200s amount of pages.
So that felt right.
So is Mindy Kaling's novel, which I looked up last night that I will be adding to my list, 222.
But
it's nonfiction, so it does take longer anyway.
You know what else is in the 200s?
Your book?
Girl with No Job, The Crazy, Beautiful Life of an Instagram Thirst Monster available wherever you get books, audiobooks, e-books, and hardcover books.
Amazon, Barnes ⁇ Noble, indie bookstores.
Check it out.
Great.
What a great combo.
For as much as we talk about reading on this show, I really don't plug my own New York Times best-selling novel that much.
And we always are getting new listeners, so it's important that you let them know.
Because if they tuned in three weeks ago, they might not know.
And that not only that you wrote a book, like I think a lot of people write books.
But that it's a New York Times bestseller.
And it's like actually good, you know?
Like it's gonna make you belly laugh.
You might even cry if you've been through, you know, there's a lot of talk about grief.
It's just like the life story of me and my journey.
And like, it's not trash.
Like, I feel like a lot of people, especially like digital people, like write books just to write books and like put like charts in there and shit.
Like, no, it's a 240-page novella.
Is it a novella?
It's not.
It's a memoir.
It's a memoir.
But it's also kind of like a romance.
And I kind of feel like there's a sequel that's going to be written.
It's this will they, won't they?
Of Claudia and Maverick.
It's the Maverick pages.
Like, you think that this book is about like Claudia and Ben's romance, but the underlying subtext shows the love of Claudia.
It shows otherwise.
Maverick is your mysterious past, Claudia.
100%.
So
I don't think the book is closed on that, honestly.
Quite literally.
You should, hold on.
Free idea for you.
Okay.
You should write a sequel to your memoir that is fiction.
It's never been done.
That is such a good idea.
Yeah.
I would need help, though.
I'd need to have a co-writer because I don't have any experience writing fiction.
I can only write about what I know best, and that's myself.
Yeah, but you could also like take some writing classes.
I think that would just like help you learn how to write fiction.
Yeah.
Just change your mindset.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, no, by the way, that's like such a good idea.
Think about it.
The crazy, and it would be called the crazy parallel life, or like parallel universe life of an Instagram their sponsor.
You're on an influencer trip in Paris, and you see Maverick.
I'm getting emotional.
That's like, it's so good.
And you say to your Parisian influencer friends, That's my ex Maverick.
You wrote the story yesterday.
But I say it's my ex-husband because it's a parallel universe.
Like, who cares?
Right, right, right.
Love.
Love.
And you know what they would call him in Paris?
Maverique.
Maverick.
And of course it would be smut.
Oh my God, of course.
I would actually, I would need Tessa Bailey to write it with me.
I don't think I could ever actually write smut.
Write the smut you wish to see in the world.
Love that.
That's like what Rach Parcel is doing.
I know.
Rach Parcell has been talking on TikTok about how she is writing a fictional book and I'm like so excited.
Yeah.
I need to come out.
It's such a good idea.
It is.
Because I feel like she's like a really influential reader.
Like, when she shares a book, like a lot of people download it.
Like, I think she could sell a lot of books and she's read a lot.
I feel like she could, she could get her dub.
Yeah, you guys have the same taste in books, right?
Yeah, very similar.
I've taken a lot of really good recommendations from her.
Awesome.
Maybe she needs a co-writer.
Oh my god, you could do it together.
She could just name her character Maverick.
Perfect.
All right, let's dive in because we've got your toasters.
We've got five stories, a gorgeous day for gorgeous girls.
So, without further ado, did it, did it, do, here are the fast eyes stories that you need to know.
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Do you know what scene I'm talking about?
McClaird.
I was just shocked at that's what you quote more than any movie in your life.
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Our first story, something puzzling, but I'm sure we can get to the bottom of it.
Selena Gomez and Drew Taggart went bowling together.
Page six is calling it a bowling date, though I'm still not sure.
Selena Gomez and Drew Taggart seem to have confirmed their rumored romance.
Page six has obtained exclusive photos of the singer, actress, and the chain smokers member on a flirty date at the gutter, a New York City bowling alley on Sunday.
An eyewitness told Paige 6 the couple was making out like teenagers while enjoying some alone time.
There was also a group of young girls that went up for pictures from her shortly after and a man getting an autograph.
The pair kept things casual with Selena wearing a black sweatshirt and matching sweatpants.
I don't know that she would wear sweatpants on a date, like in so early in their relationship.
And he wore a camo shirt and dark pants.
So yesterday I was like fully of the mind that this was false.
Us weekly is not reliable.
This is never happening.
And now we have proof.
And I know Jackie's going to choose to continue to live in denial.
I will accept that they are probably dating.
I don't think it's going to last forever, but I was wrong.
I literally could not see it being true.
And now I've actually physically seen it.
And it's important to acknowledge when you're wrong.
I just want to say,
I'm holding out still because one, these two are bowling and then they have all these pictures of them, but they say they were making out all over each other, but there's not one picture of them making out.
But someone across the room is taking pictures of them the entire time.
If they were making out, would there not be one photo of it?
True.
I think per I'm going to stick with what I said yesterday.
I think that they're working on a song and I think that this is creating hype for the song.
And it's like, okay, our PR person is making us go bowling together.
Like there's worse things.
I know.
I just feel like Selena's above that.
Like she doesn't do PR relationships, you know?
Well, she doesn't really do relationships.
She hasn't.
Right.
But it's like, honestly, I feel like PR relationships kind of get a bad rap.
Like they're the worst, fakest thing.
But it's like, okay, I'm not going to, it doesn't have to be like we have to pretend and like get married and have kids, but it's like, oh, you want us to just be seen bowling together to help our song?
Like we're not, we're not lying and saying we're dating.
We're just going to like go out and have a good time.
That's fine.
Okay, so if in the next year we get a song with like the chain smokers slash Drew and Selena Gomez, we will know that this was fraudulent.
But if we don't and they don't last forever and we never hear about them again, they did.
They went on on a date.
Is that a good barometer?
I don't think she would wear that on a date.
I don't think Selena gives a fuck, honestly.
I know, but like,
if you're in, like, the
that's not a date outfit.
Sorry,
it's not black sweatshirt and black sweatpants, but it is bowling.
Like, you don't want to wear your finest to the to the alley.
It's true, but you know what?
It is, it's a studio outfit.
Oh my god, is she wrong, you guys?
No, I don't think I've said anything incorrect so far.
So, no, you're being
using your critical thinking skills.
I'm very impressed.
I am.
And of course, you know what?
If I'm wrong about this, I'll honestly be happy because, like, I want Selena to find love.
I want it to be with someone who's like successful and in the industry rather than like, you know, some mysterious businessman who we don't know.
Like, I want to know who Selena's with.
So, like, I'll get on the ship if it's true.
I just like, I don't believe that the ship is setting sail.
There are also like a lot of shady things coming out about Drew in terms of timeline.
Like he was dating Steve Jobs' daughter, Eve Jobs, which I'll never get over that that's her name.
Up until like a few days before this rumor came out and they had like broken up, but it was like very much like we still need to talk and like very much not completely broken.
She had recently even posted a photo of them on Instagram.
And then when this rumor came out, she deleted the photo and deleted her Instagram.
Okay, that's one piece that doesn't add up.
That's like hella dramatic.
Like you didn't do anything wrong and he looks like an ass.
Like, you actually look like an ice girl.
Like, leave your Instagram up, Eve.
Maybe.
Okay, this piece doesn't add up to me because that's.
Maybe she's in on it, too.
No, no, I don't think she would be in on it because, like, she's.
Oh, my God.
You scared the shit out of me.
Oh, my God.
I literally, I'm not okay.
Hi.
Hi, how are you?
Are you from
the ice cream show?
Oh, he told me you were coming tomorrow.
Yeah, the guy was supposed to call him and tell him.
Okay, well, I can't do right now.
I'm sorry
I mean you're more than welcome to do your thing
I'm recording if you could just not go behind me you can hit the radiator the radiator's not in frame oh my god I'm not okay pest control is here no pest control is so important let's love pest control let this be a message to all of our listeners call the exterminator you gotta get that shit done once a month and I really recommend Sayonara they're great
Awesome.
Okay, so let me give you my theory on this because to me, this sounds like this Eve Jobs piece is the only thing that doesn't add up because it does sound like she would be like upset that he moved on so quickly.
And so she deleted her Instagram dramatically.
But I think it's because she doesn't want any part of like the Selena stands on her Instagram.
You know what?
And she's wise for that.
She doesn't want to be mixed up with these two and like in a romance, a
love triangle.
Look how it worked for Haley Bieber.
Eve said no.
So true.
And it's not Selena's fault, but she does and can have like a very toxic fan base.
And it's very possible.
Like she just wanted to, you know, write herself out of this narrative, one in which she never asked to be a part of.
Yeah.
So
that would explain that part.
And it still leaves it open to this being a PR relationship or a real relationship.
Yeah.
Hmm.
That's good.
No, so far you've been able to explain all this away.
I still feel like they probably went out on a date, even though you're right.
Like, so the person was taking pictures, but not of them making out.
Like they were making out like teenagers.
No, it's so important to question everything.
And like Celine, there were a bunch of girls out that were Selena fans.
If they saw her making out, like they would have videos and photos.
No, Selena is too famous to be making out with someone in public and not there be a photo of it, especially when there are photos of the two of them at the same event.
Like five minutes earlier before they're making it.
And the girl with camera phones were there.
No, you're 100% right.
Question everything.
This is really, this is some fine investigative work, Jackie.
Like I'm really, I'm very impressed.
Thank you.
So I think that if they want to select it, they have to take it up a notch, but I don't think Selena would resort to like publicly making out with someone who like she's she's actually not interested in.
But like to go bowling, sure, whatever.
Right.
Between jam seshes.
Everybody likes to bowl.
Everybody makes mistakes.
You just said everybody just like Hannah.
Oh my God, that's so kind of you.
Oh, speaking of Hannah, I had heard this before yesterday's episode, but I didn't know if it was true or not, so I didn't want to say it on the show.
And then we got some feedback
from yesterday.
A lot of the stuff that's coming out about Miley's song, like When I Was Your Man is the song that Liam dedicated.
She filmed in the house that they used to whatever.
He had dated 14 girls.
A lot of that was like shit made up by Miley Stans to like make the song go viral and like
give it like some drama.
Like a lot of that shit is not true.
Just want to say that all worked on me.
Definitely gave the song relevance.
Right.
I guess, yeah, how would we know that he cheated on her with 14 people in that house?
Like also the suit.
But
yeah.
Okay.
Miley Stanz is like out here making stuff up.
Honestly, we need the Miley Stans working for us.
Yeah, no, the Miley Stan's like doing more marketing and strategy than like the biggest record labels in the country.
Yeah.
Good for them.
I thought that was interesting.
Yeah, good for them.
And you know what?
If this is what's going on with Selena, then I'm happy for her, but it's so important to constantly be asking questions.
Exactly.
Are you ready for our next story?
Yes.
Todd and Julie Christley report to prison to begin serving their time for tax fraud.
Todd and Julie Christley are beginning their new lives behind bars.
The Christley knows best couple reported to their respective federal prisons on Tuesday, two months after they were sentenced to a combined 19 years for fraud and tax evasion.
Respective, like they're in different facilities.
I know like you would keep men and women separate, but.
Yeah, separate.
Damn.
Todd is serving 12 years at federal prison camp Pensacola in Florida.
Meanwhile, Julie was originally set to spend the next seven years at Federal Correction Institution
Mariana, just two hours away, but she was reassigned to federal FMC Lexington in Kentucky.
Well, Todd's is called a camp.
I mean, I know it's probably still not great, but.
Okay, it's called camp.
I mean, who knows what that is?
Is it one of those stands for?
No, federal.
I don't think so.
Actually, hold on.
How would I find that out?
I don't know.
We'd have to ask you.
We'd have to see who else is there.
Federal prison.
Like, where is Ghulane?
Yeah.
Or, like, where did Felicity Huffman go?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Todd's Christley serving his time in one of America's cushiest prisons.
Okay.
It's still a prison, like, let's be real.
It's minimum security, labeled one of the cushiest in America, usually reserved for white-collar crime.
That includes wire fraud, mail fraud, and healthcare fraud.
Okay, but what about Julie's?
Julie was federal FMC.
Sounded bad.
Federal FMC
Washington.
Reminds me of the book Horse.
Oh, her first dinner in prison revealed.
I can't with these articles.
Oh, my God.
How do they know that?
They must, like, look at the menu.
I don't know.
That's true.
She.
It didn't come up as like a cushy place?
No.
But...
This doesn't mean it's not.
I would imagine it's similar because they have the same level of crime.
So are they never going to be able to see each other?
Because it's not like you can visit your spouse in prison if you're in prison.
I guess not.
That's like so sad.
Yeah.
Like I know they did that shit, but this seems so harsh.
Yeah, it really does.
It's such a long time.
Like with Genshah, like I could see, I could see my life in six years.
Yeah,
I cannot see my life in 12 years.
Yeah.
Agreed.
So it's 12 and 7.
Yeah, she got 7.
He got 12.
Which means his
involvement was more, but he got to go to the cushy camp.
I hope she gets to go.
That's just because there was an article calling it a cushy prison.
Like I,
there might be, this might be cushy.
Well, I guess this is the cushiest.
Right.
Like that cushy prison that Jeffrey Epstein was in, where they like let him go home for a few hours every day.
Oh, really?
Is that where he was?
Literally, like, he got driven to his house for a few hours every day.
Maybe to sleep at night.
I don't fucking know.
Oh my God, go to prison.
In Florida.
Okay.
And Todd's is in Florida.
But not the prison where he was found dead.
No, no.
He had served time
prior.
Yeah.
Let's see.
It was was a facility in Florida.
I'm really curious if it's the same one as Chris Lee.
I don't think I'll find it in time.
Okay.
Well, regardless, I'm wishing them well, strength, faith.
Yeah.
That's all you can do.
Agreed.
Are you ready for our next story?
I am.
I guess it's technically some more Selena news because Only Murders in the Building has revealed their new cast member for season three, and it's Meryl Streep.
This show show is so elegant.
Season three of Only Murders at Hulu.
The announcement was made by series star Selena in a video posted to Instagram which can be seen in this article.
It is not yet known whether Streep will appear in a guest recurring or series regular capacity.
True that.
So Paul Rudd is also like a series regular for this third season.
Meryl Streep, I don't know if she's ever done television.
Like this show is so elevated.
I feel like we don't really live in the type of world anymore where TV was like kind of beneath a lot of actors.
Like I think some of the biggest and baddest will do TV now, even like, you know, movie stars.
But I don't think Meryl Streep ever has.
I feel like this is a really big deal.
Well, she did big little lies.
Oh, yeah.
And a couple other miniseries.
That's true.
That's true.
Thank you for correcting me.
Well, this is the same thing.
I get what you're saying.
It's still major for her.
It's major for her.
It's major for the show.
But this show is extremely star-studded and elevated.
I'm sure like Martin and Steve and Sleener have like Rolodexes of context and people who want to be involved in the show because it's such a big hit.
I wonder why we've never had a Taylor cameo.
Like just for like a second.
Taylor definitely loves the show.
I feel like Taylor wouldn't want to make it about her.
That's true.
That's true.
You know, like let Sleener have her thing.
No, that's so fair.
Yeah, and like every cameo, there's not just been like stars for stars' sake.
Like Jane Lynch was on, Carr Delavine, but they had
roles.
Yeah, no, you're right.
Except for Sting.
Yeah, and a little bit Amy Schumer, like her, I don't really understand her
part at all.
Yeah.
But I know what you mean.
Like, it's more than just a cameo.
It's like more purposeful.
Yeah, so I feel like Meryl Streep's not going to be like a main character, but she will have a role in the show.
Oh my god, that's very exciting.
I love that show.
Like second season, like it got away from me a little bit, but I still enjoyed it.
Like it's still such a good show.
The writing is so funny.
Martin Short and Steve Martin are so funny.
It's a great show.
It is.
And I think what it underscores is the power of podcasting.
I agree.
And I think that's so important.
So important.
But it's the power of true crime podcasting, which is not your fave.
No, it's not that it's not my fave.
I just don't think they belong in the comedy category.
And I think that's not a crazy thing to say.
Yeah.
Am I wrong?
There's literally a true crime category.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I hear what you're saying.
I do.
Yeah.
Are you ready for our next story?
Yeah.
It's a little Von Trapp news.
Excuse me?
The Von Trapps, you know them?
Yeah, from the sound of music.
Yep, the famed sound of music Von Trapp family is developing a TV drama show.
Wait, I'm sorry.
The Von Trapps are still alive?
I know.
That was shocking to me too, but at least like they're
descendants.
The Von Trapps are real?
Yeah.
That was their story, fleeing the Nazis.
Okay.
Can I just share something?
Sure.
I don't think I've ever seen the sound of music.
I don't think you've ever seen the sound of music where you've been old enough to understand it.
No, like I've definitely seen the Vin Diesel movie Pacifier where that kid is in the local community production of the Von Trapps and he sings, you are 16, going on 17.
I definitely know that, but they, you know, before they know he's doing community theater, he's got a Nazi costume in his room and they're worried about him becoming a skinhead.
Such a good movie, by the way.
I've never seen,
I'm telling you, I've never seen the sound of music.
I think
the hills are alive
with the sound of music.
Never seen it.
I think that we saw it when we were younger.
We were just too young to understand.
And then I more recently saw the Carrie Underwood live version because she played
the governess.
What's her name?
In the live version.
In the NBC version for NBC Live, like you know how they do live things?
She was in it.
So can you just give me like really quickly, what's the synopsis of the film?
I know the Nazis are involved, and I know there's a bunch of kids who sing.
So there's a bunch of kids who sing they have this like amazing governess.
I need to remember her name.
Are the von Trapps Jewish?
They don't sound Jewish, and that's kind of a flaw in the song.
Von Trapp?
Right.
That's the part that doesn't add up.
So why would they be escaping the Nazis if they're just a a bunch of like German propaganda?
I don't think it was a great place to be.
Okay.
You know, especially or a Nazi.
Right.
Then you're just going to be like privy to these crimes.
Yeah.
Amazing call.
So they're a bunch of kids.
I think they're like a little unruly.
So they have a governess and she like shows them the power of music and the hills were alive with the sound of music, teaches them Do Ray Me and they're just like singing and fucking around.
And then the Nazis come and they have to leave.
Do they successfully get out?
Yeah, because now they're New York City-based and they're writing a drama series.
So the von Trapp descendants are currently living in Manhattan.
Yes, Miles is the New York City-based grandson of George's eldest child, Rupert, who was actually depicted as Lisa in the Oscar-winning 1966 movie.
And Miles is the one who is developing this scripted drama called The Baroness.
It's going, it's billed as being a mixture of the crown and this is us.
Excuse me?
Like, that's the vibe.
I kind of hear what they're saying.
Like, those are two shows that couldn't have less in common.
It's going to be the crown, like, historical, but, like, corny as hell.
This is, this sounds tern, like, really, it's like, it sounds like it's got to be bad.
I don't know.
I like the title.
I like the title too, The Baroness.
It sounds like it would be on, like, the history channel.
Yeah, Yeah, for sure.
I'm trying to read what a synopsis of the movie is about, but it literally just says like the governess Maria teaching them the power of music.
And oh, and the father is a widowed naval captain.
I think there's a romance between Julie Andrews and the dad?
Yeah.
And then there's seven children, and it brings a new love of life and music into the home.
Then World War II.
Joe, a dear, a female
dear.
Bray a drop of golden salon.
Me, a name I call myself.
Fa, a longer way to run.
So, a needle-pulling thread.
Fa, a note to follow so.
Tea, a drink with jam and bread.
Wait, let me ask you a question.
Did that limerick, like, exist before the sound of music, or they made that shit up?
I think they made that shit up.
Okay, and then is that other song also from the sound of music?
These are a few of my my favorite things.
Yep.
Right on dogs.
And whiskers on kittens.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I have like PTSD from that song because that was like a classic song that we had to practice for piano back in the day.
So cheap.
It was so fucking hard.
And like I literally hated that song because of it.
I think that's why I kind of like have like a like a hate for the sound of music that I couldn't now like pinpoint until now why.
I have a love for the sound of music because I think I sing or play or listen to Do Ray Me every single day now since Harry.
Like all of his music, like those musical toys that they have for babies that have like five notes.
Yeah.
We can play Do Ray Me.
So I like, that's always fun.
And then I listen to the full version and, oh, it's Claude.
It's chock full of fun.
It's funny.
It's chock full of fun.
Which version do you listen to?
Julie Andrews.
She pops off.
Pops.
She popped her pussy.
She put her whole pussy in that song.
She put her whole pussy in the movie.
And I now, honestly, I want to watch the movie because we love a movie musical.
Julie put her whole Andrussi in that, in that film.
She really, really did.
Love that for her.
Anyways,
I'm going to be open to this.
Because
if I didn't know the story and I went on Netflix and I saw there's
a show called The Baroness,
like.
Yeah, you would watch that.
Well, I just am here for this story because I feel like that was something I was like kind of embarrassed of.
Like, I feel like it's like a woman of a certain age and like a Jewish woman, like I shouldn't know what the sound of music is.
And like, I've never like had the opportunity to ask.
And now I did.
No, I think there's, there's definitely something that's confusing, how it's about like music and education.
But like Nazis.
And Nazis.
I totally agree.
Yeah.
And honestly, I feel as though if it weren't for the amazing film, The Pacifier with Vin Diesel, like I really wouldn't know half of the shit that I knew up until this moment about that film.
That's beautiful.
That movie is so good.
Star-studded too.
Lauren Graham, Vin Diesel.
That's it.
Oh, and Rogers and Hammerstein did the music for sound of music, so of course it popped off.
That's how you know it's like legit, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, maybe I'll check it out again.
And we'll see you when the Baroness comes out.
Yep.
For a full roasting of This Is Us, X the Crown.
Are you ready for our fifth and final story?
Already?
Yeah.
It's little Shakira drama.
I am keeping up.
Okay, so Shakira is going through a divorce with her ex-husband because she discovered that she cheated on him.
And there was like all of those things.
No, he cheated on her.
i'm sorry that's what i meant he cheated on her and there's all of these things that like she's doing and the mother-in-law's house and like a witch on the balcony yeah on the balcony but she took aim at him in her new music video where there's a severed head in her fridge of her ex-husband and uh we find out how she discovered he was cheating on her did you hear this no Okay, so Shakira reportedly discovered her ex's affair by finding a clue hidden in their fridge.
The singer who split from her.
Oh, yes, sorry, I did hear this.
The jam.
Split from the footballer in June after 11 years together realized her ex was having an affair when she discovered a jar of strawberry jam had been eaten while she was away.
So she said that,
or it's known that
no one else in the family liked the jam that was in the fridge.
And then she went away and came back and the jam had been fully eaten.
I just want to say, like, The fault in this story is like, why would you keep a container of jam in your house that nobody in your family likes?
That you like.
Does Shakira like the jam?
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
So it's like, it's Shakira's jam.
And like, if anyone.
And she's the only one who would eat it.
Yeah.
That's, I mean, that's super sleuthy.
And that's not something that her husband would know to like clean up Gubb's track.
Get rid of.
Yeah.
So that's crazy.
No, and by the way, it's one thing to be like fucking another woman, but it's another for the woman to be in your house going through your fridge.
Like that's like a relationship.
Using your jam, like
making herself toast.
Like if it was just like a one-time thing, like you probably wouldn't fuck at your own house and she definitely wouldn't be going through the kitchen looking for you know snacks in the middle of the night.
Yeah,
I would like it to
be it's in her house.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I would also love for like Shakira to come out of this with like a smucker sponsorship, you know, or whatever brand it was.
Yeah, I was trying to look at the brand.
It doesn't look like a brand, but it does kind of look similar to Bon Maman.
Yeah, but also what, where does Shakira live?
I don't think she lives in America.
It could be like an international brand.
Right.
Well, Bon Bon Maman is international.
And do you know that they hid Jews in their factory during the Holocaust?
I did know that about the Bon Maman
jam.
It's like the jam that has the cap that looks like a picnic table.
That's what this Shakira jam looked like.
So it's Bon Maman.
There was no label.
Maybe she heard one of her kids peel it off.
It also kind of looks like something like a jam she would have made herself.
That is fucked up if she made that shit by herself with the preservatives and everything.
Yeah.
Wait, tell the Bon Maman Holocaust story again.
Oh, I I mean, there was this meme going, not a meme, but anything that's text on an Instagram, I call theme.
But there was this card going around, like the Bon Maman factory.
I guess it's in France.
It sounds French.
During the Holocaust, they hid
in the factory,
which is really beautiful.
It is.
And like, I'm Smuckers Loyal, but ever since then, I pick up a Bon Maman every now and then.
I support.
Smuckers is like a little too sugary.
Smuckers is for children.
It's fraudulent.
Yeah, I actually buy intentionally and because I like it, bottom mamon.
I know.
I just like cannot get enough of that strawberry preserves from Smuckers.
It's so sugary.
It's so good.
Like it's fucking crack on a fucking like warm corn muffin.
That's probably what Shakira's family likes.
And she likes it.
She's like, guys, let me give you the good stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Totally.
She cracked the case.
But I do think you have to suspect your husband in order to notice shit like that.
100%.
Because also, like, if you asked me right now, like, how much is left in your ketchup bottle?
Like, I would have no fucking idea.
Yeah.
And, like, I also live in a vacuum of things in my house that only I eat.
Actually, I do have, like, there's a lot of things like that.
Yeah, like my fiber one bars.
But I would have just, your fiber one bars, I would have just assumed,
I don't know, sometimes Ackley clears out the fridge.
No, totally
companies.
If jam doesn't expire.
But anyways.
No, Shakira.
It's good work, good investigative work on her part.
But you're right.
She had to know something was up in order to be like looking for details this small Yeah in order like if I saw jam that was eaten and it was the only thing that I eat in the house and other people don't I wouldn't be like my husband's cheating on me No, I would be like oh, I must have been eating it in the middle of the night again or like oh maybe the ship heroes came over Kayla wanted TB and J wow.
I was like I don't know.
I that's just what
my mind wouldn't go there either
Well, those were great stories.
Thanks Jack so much.
And don't fret the show is not over because it is Wednesday and we have dear toasters, our advice segment.
So if you ever want to write in and get your thing read on air, we will always keep it anonymous.
We'll always read your thing.
Your thing.
And the email is deartoasters at gmail.com.
Try and keep it brief, need to know information only.
We can't be reading, you know, essays here on the show.
And again, your identity is never going to be compromised because
we don't care.
So, you know.
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All right, ready for some near toasters?
Yep.
Dear Drex and Claude, first of all, I just want to say how much my friends and I love you guys.
We use your advice like our Bible, L-O-L.
I'm in a bit of a predicament, and I want the advice of some beautiful study and smart girls.
I've been dating my PJOM boyfriend for five years.
We're planning on getting engaged in the upcoming year.
We don't live together yet, but we are more than ready to sign a lease with each other in the next few months, right before we plan on getting engaged.
The problem is my parents are extremely traditional.
They've expressed many times how disappointed they would be if I lived with someone before we were married.
They love my boyfriend so much and they want us to be married, but I don't have the same views on as them and I want to live with him before marriage.
My question is, do I live with my boyfriend before we are engaged slash married and possibly start our marriage out on a bad note with my parents, but we'd be setting boundaries now that I will make my own decisions?
Or do I go against what we both want slash see for ourselves just to please my parents?
Thanks so much for your help.
I love you both.
P.S.
My boyfriend is extremely patient and has put the ball in my court, but is willing to have difficult convos with my parents if need be.
Sincerely, a toaster who loves her parents and her man and who's in a predicament.
I don't know, they've been together for five years.
I will say, like, I'm coming at this from, you know, a more conservative POV.
Like, I didn't live with Ben until we were engaged.
Yeah.
That was something, like that i was told had to be done but also something like i was down for like that's just how that was like a rule in our house yeah and i agree with it i feel like if you can wait to move in with him until you're engaged like that's kind of meeting your parents halfway and also be like being modern and being true to yourself but it sounds like you're about to get engaged in the next few months and you're about to move in together in the next few months like i think that would also kind of put a fire under your boyfriend's but they kind of need like
these like benchmarks that like, okay, we have to be engaged by this time or else like we can't move in together.
And like logistically, that becomes a cluster fuck.
I think the idea of
waiting till you're engaged to move in together is nice.
I know it's not for everyone.
I know a lot of people feel like you should get to know your partner and how they live before you agree to marry them.
I think if you've been with someone for five years, I'm sure you spend a lot of time at his place and vice versa.
Like I didn't feel like I was spending so many much time over at Zach's when we were dating.
I didn't learn anything new about him when we moved in together.
Like I had technically like known his living habits.
So
I don't know how much I agree with that, but there are other things aside from, you know, how sloppy he is.
Like then you're paying bills together.
And like that just shows you another side of your partner, which I think to wait until you're married.
would be really hard.
But I think if you can tell your parents, like, I understand where you guys are coming from, we're going to wait till we get engaged.
I think that would be a happy medium.
And that's also something that like think is smart.
Yeah, it's smart.
And then also, like, then you'll get engaged.
Like, right.
No, for sure.
I think your parents' expectation of not wanting you to live with someone until you get married.
Like, that's extreme.
Like, if you're engaged to someone, like, you can live with them.
And I know some people are probably going to like really disagree with this.
Like, many, many people live, have very happy relationships.
And they live with their partners long before they get engaged.
And I'm just saying, speaking from my own experience, and it sounds like this girl maybe has like raised in a similar way.
I think it's totally reasonable for you to do whatever you want.
But I do think like a really happy medium for you, for your parents and for your boyfriend is just to wait till you get engaged to move in together.
It sounds like that isn't that crazy.
Your parents would be okay with that.
And then also, you know, you're engaged and it's, it's a lot less stressful to like go in with someone like on finances and bills and a house when you're engaged.
So yeah.
That's just us being conservative, but that's like low-key.
Like we're very traditional.
We are.
And I think that that's nice, but it's also more modern because it's not like you're waiting until you're married.
Also, I just wanted to say one more thing
about it, but now I can't remember.
But I understand that there's going to be people who like totally disagree with us, like live with your boyfriend.
Of course.
And I'm like, if that's what works for you, like.
No, but it also depends on what's your relationship with your parents.
Like some people, that's what I was saying.
Like the older you get, like really don't really listen to their parents anymore.
And some people like always maintain that level of like authority with their parents in their life.
It also just totally depends on what your relationship with your parents is.
Like if you like, if you listen to them and like that's something you want to continue to, like it's, it just depends.
Yeah, that's what I was going to say.
She said, like, do you think we should put our foot down now and show them like we're not going to be living like the way that we want, they want us to live?
But I feel like once you get married, like that's, you're more of, you know.
An adult
person as opposed to, you know, it's very traditional to go from like your parents' house and then you're married.
But like then you guys are making choices as a married couple.
I think to like let them know now we're putting our foot, you can't tell us what to do just like for that, for the sake of it, You can, you can plant your flag in the ground on something else when you need to.
Like, I don't think just because you listen to them halfway on this doesn't mean they expect you to do what they say for the rest of your life.
Yeah, agreed.
Okay, so this next one is the one I feel personally invested in and like kind of offended by and like I'm kind of going to drag this girl who wrote it.
Hi, Jackson Claude.
I really need your advice.
My boyfriend and I are on the brink of being engaged and I could not be happier.
He's the man of my dreams and I can't wait to be his wife.
I only have one concern, his parents.
The four of us just went on a long trip together and I couldn't help but notice how much they bicker.
It was happening multiple times on a daily basis and it was extremely uncomfortable.
Whenever I'd look over to my boyfriend to see his reaction, he didn't even flinch.
It's very obvious that this is normal behavior for them and my boyfriend has been used to it for years,
if not his whole life.
I have extreme anxiety and this that this would that this is what he would expect our marriage to be like.
My parents rarely bicker or fight in front of me and my siblings, so I'm not really sure how to handle this environment.
I obviously know that they fight, but they do it behind closed doors, which is how I'd I'd like to behave in my future marriage.
How do I talk to my boyfriend about this?
It's gotten to the point where I've gone completely silent at dinner when we're with his parents and they're bickering because my anxiety is through the roof.
I don't want to offend him or make him think I don't love his family.
It's such a sensitive topic and I'm really scared he will not be open to the conversation.
Please help.
I want to be open to the conversation.
Bitch, it's literally none of your business.
Like, first of all,
like not you being judgmental of like a 40-year marriage like take a seat take a seat.
Okay.
Second of all, like once again, I'm out here like constantly trying to change the narrative when it comes to bickering.
Like, bickering is normal.
You know what?
This is
normal.
They say bickering is a form of communication.
It is.
It's also a love language.
Like, I told you guys that I recorded an episode when I was in LA in an interview with someone who's like very
like legit.
I didn't say who it was, but whatever.
We did a whole segment on relationships.
And I said to him, like, I've never been
like self-conscious about me and Ben's bickering.
Like, it's always been funny and like it's really how we communicate but ever since you know we started this podcast and then he would come on like people would give a shit for it and like I started to feel like maybe I'm like being a bitch and he really made me feel so good about it he was like literally like fighting a relationship where you don't fight you don't exist like it's not real so first of all I think you're being really judgmental of like someone else's marriage especially like it's literally none of your business no and especially like grown older people like I hate when younger people tell older people how to act and it's like talk to me after a 40 40 year marriage exactly I also think bickering in public is healthier than like
hiding it in general I think just like if you you have nothing to hide like it's probably better than someone who's hiding something yeah my overall takeaway from this is like why do you care you know you're about to get engaged it should be like the happiest time of your life like you're you're stewing about something that has literally nothing to do with you.
It doesn't really affect your life.
Like if you get uncomfortable by it at dinners, all right, so you have an uncomfortable dinner with your in-laws once a month.
Right.
You don't have dinner every night together.
Right.
I don't understand why so much of your energy is being put towards these people.
The only thing that I would say, like, I could understand where she's coming from.
It's like she's worried that that's how he will approach relationships because that's what he's seen, which I think is very fair.
I think a lot of people, you know, they see something at home and then they repeat it.
But then that's on you to like.
forge a different path with your husband.
And like
bickering is a two-way street.
So like if you're not bickering with him, like there will be no bickering.
But see, that's a conversation worth having.
Just being like, you know,
expressing concern about like how you two will communicate, as opposed to being like, your parents are bickering and I'm uncomfortable.
Like you just sound like a distressed millennial.
Yeah, but I also think like, I think it's easy for people at the outset of marriage to be like, we're not going to bicker.
We're going to solve our problems.
You know, we're going to communicate.
It's very fantastical.
Good luck with that.
And then like, seriously, I want to hear from them in 40 years.
I'm going to set a timer on my phone for 40 years.
I'm going to write her back and say, what do you think about bickering?
Yeah, no, I just think this is like a naive point of view.
And I really would encourage you, like, not to waste your time and energy on this.
Like, this is supposed to be like a beautiful time in your life.
Focus on your man.
Like, you're thinking way too much about your in-laws and how they communicate.
A, it's none of your business.
And B, like, you aren't like affected by it.
And just focus that energy on steering your relationship outside of the bickering zone if that's really important to you and you don't like that dynamic, which I do get that, especially if she did not grow up with it.
Yeah.
And maybe it's, you know, like Adrian and Paul.
That to me is just like when bickering goes too far.
So
what if her in-laws imagine her in-laws are Adrian and Paul?
Like,
no, yeah.
And that's, and that's really uncomfortable, but it's not your problem.
Like, not even in the slightest.
Yeah.
So I would just focus on showing your husband a better way.
Yeah.
If you don't like it, don't do it.
Okay, ready for our last one?
Yep.
My queens.
So I recently rekindled things with this guy from a few years ago.
Avery.
when we first started talking he told me he was fresh off of a breakup we've now been dating a few months but something has felt off me being a little skeptical and curious i asked my friend to follow his ex on her fin stuff because she's private i'm new to this creeping thing we found his ex we got her to accept the request and realized that they are not only still together but they live together and also just celebrated three years
What do I do?
I only know he's cheating on her because I use this fake account.
Do I DM her from my real account, the fake account?
How do I confront him?
I'm going to come across as a crazy bitch for having used a fake account to stalk her to get this information.
Help.
Sincerely a toaster who will be ending things, but like, how do I go about this?
Okay, so the man she's seeing for three months who told her he like went through a breakup has actually still been with the girl and is actually engaged to the girl.
I mean, she's going to break up with him, but does she tell the girl?
I don't know what my philosophy on this is.
You know what my philosophy is
always anonymous letter.
No, because an anonymous letter, like
you want to ask so many more questions, not credible questions.
It's not credible.
It's not credible.
You have more questions.
It's not just something you're going to take at face value.
It could be explained away.
Like, he could be like, you know, I have these crazy ex-girlfriends.
Like,
it could be explained away.
And you're not there to defend.
Like,
I don't, I need to decide what I think is like the right thing to do in these situations.
Girl code or mind your own goddamn business, not your fucking problem.
But I would want to know.
Bitch, you can't, you got got to tell her.
Like, it's just a real, yeah.
I'm going to go with what I would want.
I would want to know.
Wouldn't you?
Especially if they're not even, like, they're not married yet.
They don't have kids.
Like, they're on the precipice.
Like, it's not too late.
So now it's, how does she tell her?
Why don't you follow her from your own account?
Follow her from your own account.
Have her accept it.
And be like.
You could also send her a message without following her.
Yeah.
But send proof.
Be like, I am shook.
I just found this out.
I was like stalking you, not to be a freak, but because I had like a single mission.
Like,
and I found out that you guys are literally engaged and still together.
You never broke up.
And I think you should know we've been dating for the last three months.
Here's pictures of us from last week.
I have nothing to gain from this.
I am breaking up with him.
I just wanted you to know because I see that you're engaged.
And what she wants to do with that information, you can't make someone see the truth.
What she wants to do with that information is her business, but you did the right thing and you can bow out peacefully.
Agreed.
Yeah, you got to tell her.
Follow her.
Be direct.
It's time.
Yeah.
Yeah, no.
I often struggle between like, what's the right thing to do and like, what's my business?
Yeah.
But this is both.
Yeah.
I think telling her 100%.
I don't see a reason why you shouldn't tell her.
Same.
Same.
Well, thank you to everyone who wrote in and got vulnerable with us.
Sorry if some of you had to hear the hard truth.
That email account is deartoasters at gmail.com.
Please, if you've been thinking about writing in, write in.
I feel like we're almost at like the bottom of the email.
So like, yeah, dear toasters at gmail.com.
That's our show.
That's our show.
We have another show coming up tonight.
So if you'll see you guys there.
More toasts.
If you want us to freak some Fred with you, then head over to patreon.com slash the toast.
You will get the link at five o'clock for our live show.
And Jackson Claude will be popping off.
You never know what's going to happen.
And I think ever, of course, you can watch it afterwards if you can't sign on at five o'clock, but I think it'll be really fun for those of us who are in this together.
Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast, the Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.
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Hope you guys have an
in creab
Wednesday.
Don't forget to hump someone you love, and we'll see you tomorrow.
You know what's going to be in Creab when you see Maverick in Paris?
100%.
Love you.
Bye.