Claudia's Favorite Stories

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Hey, Zach, are you smiling at my gorgeous canyon view?

No, Donald.

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Well, do it.

Shout it out.

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Whoa, I love that echo.

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Good afternoon, millennials.

Welcome back to the Toast Patreon, your fifth and final episode for the month of November.

This is going to be...

A fun one for a number of reasons.

One, Patreon's always fun.

Cheers.

It's a great episode prompt.

And three,

said episode prompt allows our chatty queen to really talk.

I'm going to, I want to place an estimate, 95% of this episode will be McLardia's voice.

I was going to say 70%.

Well, all I really have to do is, well, one, I have to listen and laugh and

let you know what stories you are constantly telling.

So, and also do this intro where I can't shut the fuck up.

So,

no, but also, like, the thing about my stories and the reason why they are my favorite is because they spark interesting debate.

Okay, that's actually an interesting debate prompt itself because I would say that like they don't.

And some of these stories just like lead us down a dead end.

And that's

rude.

Rude.

There is a larger message to take away from every story.

And I will share that as well.

Okay, great.

And I will let you know which stories like for me are a conversation killer.

Wow.

And

they might be a conversation killer because then it's just like, well, it's already been said.

And now we've said it all again.

And now we've said it.

Okay, I mean, I think you'll be surprised and delighted at how much there is to offer from my favorite stories.

Okay.

So this episode is called Storytime Again with Claudia Ashre.

And the intention is this.

Claudia has a couple favorite stories that she likes to tell a lot on the show.

And if you are an avid listener of the toast, you already know a lot of them.

And so then we'll reference them on the show, aka Dennis's funeral.

But if you're kind of a new toaster or maybe you didn't like pick up on it all these years, you don't listen like you're about to be quizzed on it, you might not know what the actual story is, just that it's now a joke of a story.

So we are going to go down the list of all of the stories that Claudia repeats very often.

And then I think we're going to get into just famous stories of yours that people might not know the full story on, like Lynn Manuel.

Right, we'll see what we have time for, but I think we should start with the repetitive stories because they are really have become a cornerstone of the show.

And I want to make sure everyone is being kept abreast on what they actually reference or not reference.

Okay, so let's start with the first one.

We couldn't do this episode without starting with this first one.

It is the one that started it all because it was the one that people really called you out for.

Like, how many times is Claudia going to reference

two words?

Dennis's funeral.

Now, this one I feel has a larger message, and definitely one that could spark debate because the whole point of my Dennis's funeral story, which I will share in a minute, is to really highlight how fucked up the media can be.

Like, we all just live in this society where we accept the media is like always doing like horrible things, and we just like accept it.

And I think a prime example of that was Dennis's funeral.

So, who is Dennis?

If you watched a a few seasons ago of Real House Foys of New York, Bethany Frankl was, not even briefly, like she was dating this man named Dennis for two years.

And one day, very shockingly, it came out that he had passed away and he had been really struggling with an addiction that none of us really knew about.

And it was really

it was really a sad story.

He had, you know, young kids, well, not young kids, but he had kids and he wasn't that old.

He was really, it was just a sad story.

And Bethany was, of course, you know, part of the media narrative.

and she had went to his funeral and

then she went to the burial you know which is like close friends and family and the paparazzi followed her to his burial ground they took photos of her and published like her literally sobbing like the lowest point of someone's life

they were engaged losing a fiancé and like ran with the photos, took pictures of like Dennis's loved ones who aren't even famous.

Like the whole thing gave me such a pit.

And I thought it was a perfect example.

So anytime we were talking about like how fucked up the media is, like you were telling the story about that TV show you watched with Darren Chris where the media actually was responsible for the death of a man because they put out the info.

The assassination of Gianni Versace.

The murderer was on the run and he had stolen

someone's car, actually a prominent figure, Lee Miglin.

He stole his car.

So on the radio, they said

Andrew Kunanen was the name of the murderer.

Wow, it's all seared into my memory.

And he was on the run and they said he's in this car, this model, this makes.

So if you see it, call the police.

So of course, Andrew had to get out of the car.

And so he wound up pulling over to the side of the road at like a cemetery.

He found the undertaker and murdered him and stole his truck and continued on in that truck.

Because the media had posted what type of car he was in.

Right.

Because they like thought that they were helping, but helping.

solely responsible for that man's death.

Right.

So there's blood on their hands.

And I feel like that's what I think started the whole Dennis' funeral thing.

Cause then I obviously references Dennis' funeral.

Like anytime there's just a question about American media, I just feel like that's a really good example.

Like they have no

lines, like all about sensationalism.

And that Dennis story, like we joke about it, but it really bothered me.

And I don't even like love Bethany.

I just saw like somebody going through like such a difficult time and like people following her and Dennis's family.

Like certain things are and can and should be private, even if you're famous.

So that's the basis of the dentist story.

And I stand by that, like that point, even though we've like made a joke of it.

The point point remains.

Agreed on that front.

Thank you.

Next up, Kenan's Uber Drivers.

We can't talk about Keenan Thompson on this show without Claudia telling us this story that she's heard from Keenan's Uber drivers.

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Love ya.

Bye.