Tiny Cretin of a Man: Tuesday, October 18th, 2022

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Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Toast.

Happy Tuesday.

Hope everyone is having a blessed day thus far.

We're about to bless your day even thus further.

Hello, Jacks.

How are you, Dern?

I am dern good.

Thank you so much.

It's a gorgeous Tuesday.

So joyful.

Can't wait to rejoice with you in the glory that is Tuesday.

Glory be to God.

Amen, sister.

How was your your Monday?

It was Monday.

It wasn't terrible.

You know, it was a nice ease into the week.

We're back Tuesday.

Now we're in it.

Rise, grind, hustle, you know?

You know, I had a nice Monday myself.

I finished my book, which was very good.

I would say, though, that the first half was much better than the second half.

The second half was a little rush and like the inventory things.

They just weren't landing for me, but it's a true story.

So it's like, it seemed unbelievable.

If it wasn't a true story, I'd be like, this could never happen.

But because it's a true story, I'm like, tell me more.

Ma'am,

are we going to talk

about

your sweatshirt?

About my sweatshirt.

Yeah.

Thank you for reminding me because you know I would have forgotten.

I come on the show every week.

I always speak about it four seconds before we started recording.

Right, which is why it was out of my mind.

I always come on the show with like a couple things and I want to say, do I ever remember to say them?

No.

But this is so important.

You should write them down.

I should.

I really should.

I need more like pens and paper around my house to just write them down.

You got gotta start jotting things down.

Errant thoughts.

Errant thoughts.

But today's announcement is that Redheads merch is dropping new merch.

I've been teasing it for a while, but I really wanted to get everything so gorgeous and right for you guys because the Redheads is like an ironclad brand and there's just no room for error, period.

So today I'm wearing one of our new sweatshirts from the collection.

If you're watching on YouTube, I'm just going to move to the left.

If you're listening as a podcast, check out our Instagram because we will have posted a photo in the sweatshirt.

It's really cute.

You know, the Redheads are kind of evolving.

The Redheads are evolving.

So we will be dropping like four sweatshirts, one long sleeve, a hat, tote bag, as always, phone case mugs.

You can see the whole collection on our Instagram account.

I will post all of the images of things that we're dropping.

And the Redheads are constantly evolving.

And I thank you for bringing that up because not only do we always evolve and with every book that we read, we are expanding our minds, but we're also always growing.

I know I joke around about how the Redheads are taking over the world, but it's like kind of not a joke.

When do you think you'll get to the place where like your emblem is on the cover of a book?

If I ever reprint my book, which I don't know why I would, you know what?

When I did the paperback.

I should have done it.

I should have, because I got the New York Times emblem, which is really why I did the paperback.

I should have done the Redheads one.

Like, what's wrong with me?

I think that, to be honest, it won't happen because I'm pretty sure that like Reese's Book Club, Oprah, Jenna's Book Club, they get advanced copies of books and they choose what book they're going to have for a specific month before the book is released.

So then when the book is released, they can put on the cover that it's a Jenna's book club.

It's a today show, you know, it's a Reese.

And the Redheads, we're just lay people who are just recommending books that we think would be good.

And so we'll never be on the ground floor like that.

I mean, I guess we could be if we got like, but that's not the spirit of the redheads because because nobody reads the books before we choose them.

Yeah.

So I don't know if that would happen, but you guys know my goal for the Redheads, like where I would be like, okay, we made it is to have a Redheads table of books at like Barnes and Noble or a local bookshop, any bookstore.

I mean, I could show up with a table myself and kind of together.

I feel like we definitely have a toaster who is like a manager at a Barnes and Noble, a local indie bookstore.

And if you do that, like we'll promote the hell out of your store.

So the hell.

The hell.

So I feel like it's a win-win for everyone.

Agreed.

Reach out to me if you have the power to set up a table in your local bookstore.

It's so funny how we have like such niche goals.

Like when, not even for books, but like when I was releasing my book, like I really wanted to be sold in airports.

And that was a goal that I achieved.

And like a lot of people, obviously I wanted to be a New York Times bestseller, all that thing.

But we have like such random niche goals when it comes to our career.

Yeah.

No, and but it's also just things that you associate with making it.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

And I think it's like

we're not like other career women.

Of course, but I think it's different for everyone because, you know, we all grew up differently and you would see things as a sign of success.

And to me, like going to a bookstore and seeing a table that's like Reese's book club, which they have, I'm like, why not Redheads?

Why not?

Why now?

Why this sperm?

So Redheads merch impertinent information is dropping Thursday.

We're Thursday girls over at the Redheads.

So this Thursday, Redheads merch is dropping at shopmorning toast.com.

Check out at the redheads on Instagram for all the details.

And the great thing about the Redheads is like, if you are a redhead, you can rep the brand.

Love it.

But if you're like not even a redhead, you could still like rep it.

And people are like, what's that?

And you're like, it's my book club.

And they're like, smart tings.

No, but then if you happen to have red hair, it just also adds another element, you know?

Yeah, it's multifaceted.

Love that for you.

Love.

Love to see, you know, literate women thriving and being fashionable.

That's really all you want to see from women, literacy and fashion.

And the Redheads achieves both.

Speaking of redheads, you are still reading lessons in chemistry.

I know you're struggling a little bit.

Yeah, it's a fine book.

It's really not an amazing book.

Like, I just want to be totally honest.

I'm about 70%.

Like, I could have finished it last night, but I'm like, I'm not even having a good time.

It's, you know, me, I read a book in a day, so it's taken me like six different reading sessions to finish it.

It's fine.

It's a good book.

It's like, whatever.

But are you not obsessed with 630 and Mad?

I was.

Not really.

I was.

Like them together.

The character development of the main character, Elizabeth, is so horrendous.

I want to smack her upside the fucking head.

Like you have this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Somebody literally came to you, gave you a TV show at a prime slot.

You literally have never worked in TV in your life, and you're going to be an ungrateful wench.

That's what you're going to be.

And I get it.

It's for women's empowerment.

I get it.

But it's like, stop.

Stop.

Follow the rules.

And I know in the end it works out because she did it her way.

I get it.

But watching her like destroy everything in her path just to like do it her way,

it's kind of, you know, annoying the fuck out of me.

Damn, we needed you on the Redheads episode because we were all agreeing.

No, like, I get it.

Women are more than household businesses set in the 50s.

I believe in the message.

I agree with you that like.

There needs to be some compromise.

Like just because things should be done a certain way doesn't mean that they're going to and it can't be my way or the highway or else we're never getting anywhere.

Yeah, I did just get to the part in the book where her and Mrs.

Frask lay down their arms because they share a mutual trauma and I loved that so much.

Like just as for Mrs.

Frask, like no wonder she was like a miserable wench.

Like she's been treated like shit.

Yeah, that was Dana's takeaway.

Frask was her favorite.

Frask was a queen.

And then Frask getting fired for being 27 pounds overweight.

Like relatable.

So there are elements of the book that I do enjoy, but overall, like as a read, I'm not finding it like to be a a super easy read.

It's not

easy.

In science, I cannot deal with the pages and pages of scientific references.

Like this, did I pick up a textbook?

Okay.

Like on the cooking show, how she can't just say salt.

She has to say N-A-C-L, you know?

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

She's annoying the fuck out of me.

She's not your kind of girl.

She's like quirky, you know?

Yeah.

And she's, you know what she is?

She's scrupled to a fault at times.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Yeah.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

We have a fab show.

Yes.

Not a ton of TV recap, which is great.

So we're just going to be able to focus on the stories, focus on ourselves, which is so important when you have a podcast, to focus on yourself.

Oh, beyond, especially when it's every day and you guys need to know everything that I was doing.

And speaking of what, I made it to the gym yesterday.

I'm feeling hashtag proud.

good for you

you know there's a trend going around on tick tock that i wanted to get your take on it's like people are sharing the moments in media and pop culture that like shifted who they were as a person

and i was curious if you had any moments like that definitely for me obviously one that comes to mind is ariana grande performing at the wicked 15 year anniversary like that performance like really truly shifted who I was as a woman.

Yeah.

I feel like for me, I need to back it up a little further

because I feel like when I'm younger, that's when you know you're more impressionable and these things have a way of shifting you.

Shifting streisans.

Or like a moment in a TV show.

I need to think about it because I don't want to, I don't want to.

I can think of big moments from our childhood that were like, oh my God.

And like the whole world was talking about a certain thing, like Miley Cyrus on the cover of Vanity Fair.

But for me, that's a good one.

I don't know that that shifted things for me.

For me, it made me realize, my God, people will complain about anything.

Yeah.

Another one of those moments.

All of my moments really have to do with Miley Cyrus.

Okay, so another one of my moments is desperate housewives, like when Tom leaves Lynette, like who the fuck do you think you are, you fucking wench?

Yeah.

After all she's done for you and your dumbass opening the pizzeria.

Like that was a moment.

And I was like, wow, men are really, like, they have the audacity.

Like they have the audacity.

Yeah.

She

gave up her career for you, even though she was more successful than you.

So she could be a housewife and you could continue to work.

You then put the family's livelihood at stake by opening that dumbass pizzeria, the Scavos,

and then you leave her, you fucking wench.

Yeah, you really related to Lynette.

Even more so.

I didn't relate to her, but you liked her, like sympathized with her.

Yeah.

Even more so when I rewatched the show as a a grown woman because, you know, being in a relationship and being married, like you know, marriage is all about compromise.

And

you really saw as like a grown woman how much nerve Tom Scavo had.

Just because he was like better looking of the two.

Interesting take.

I re-watched Desperate Housewives almost like eight years ago now.

So not as like a wife.

Fresh.

And definitely, and not as a mom.

I feel like my time might be coming.

The only thing is that now I don't have the time.

Make the time.

You know, like it's, there's actually so many moments from Desperate Housewives that, like, were major life-altering moments for me.

When Carlos became blind,

that was huge.

Or like when Orson,

when Orson had to be kicked out of the house because like he had, in, you know, a few years ago run over Mike.

And it's like, but Orson and Bree.

Right.

No, there's so much.

That really, that show is so good.

Like, I feel sympathy and sadness for anyone who's never seen it.

Yeah.

No, I feel feel actually really excited for you guys because it's all ahead of you.

It's all happening, in the words of Sheena Marie Shay.

Yeah, that's a good trend on TikTok.

I need to think about it further to think about what really resonated with me.

Sound off in the comments.

Like, what was a moment in pop culture and media that really changed who you were as a young woman or man?

Another moment was Caitlin Jenner's special Diane Sawyer.

Oh, that actually like changed my perspective on life.

That was the first time.

I'm not so many people.

Yeah.

And not even, of course, about like

trans, but also like

now when I'm like talking to people about like gender, which I don't really do all that often, but like if I, if I do, like I'm always saying, how, you know, gender and sexuality are so different.

And I only learned that from the Caitlin Jenner special.

Like when Caitlin said that, I was like, oh my God, yeah, duh.

Like.

the two have nothing to do with one.

Like it really,

that was a cultural shift.

That was a cultural shift.

And yes, it was very educational in terms of like the transgender experience, I think, for so many people.

But something else that I really took away from it is to mind the way we speak about people who we don't know because you don't know what's going on.

Could be anything.

And the way that people were talking about.

Caitlin before that special, like it just didn't get any nastier.

It nastier than what was being said.

And we were all a part of it.

100%.

We are all guilty and compliant.

That was a horrible time.

So that was a big eye-opening moment for me.

Yeah, no, that's a good one too.

I'm curious to hear what people are going to say because people sharing.

A lot of people have like moments from TV shows that I don't watch, like flea bag.

But it's been really interesting to see like what stays with people.

I think for a lot of people, Marissa Cooper dying was like how they learned about deaths.

Yes, yes, yes.

That's a good one too.

So yeah, just like a fun, fun thing the kids are doing on the talk.

Thought I would alert you to.

Yeah.

That's cool.

Thanks.

Yeah.

Thanks for keeping me up with the kids.

That's really my job here at the toast, to kind of be like the Gen Z correspondent, because, you know, I kind of teeter between being Gen Z and Millennial.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sure.

We're also gearing up for our Toast Owen episode next week.

We're going to be together.

I just finally booked my flights to come see you.

I'm going to join you at the end of this week.

And then all of next week, we'll be together for episodes.

And of course, we're going to end the week

with Toast Owen.

What day is Toast-O-Ween?

Like what day is Toastwin?

Halloween.

Oh, actually, Halloween is on Monday.

Oh, so will we do it Monday?

That's so weird.

Yeah, no, we're doing it Monday.

That is weird.

Because usually we like leave it all at the end of the week and then we

can come back Monday.

It's November and we're fresh.

No, but starting off the week with a Toasta Ween episode is going to be kind of bizarre, no?

It will be, but that's, we're not like, it's the 31st.

We adhere to the lunar calendar.

We do.

And that's just a little bit about us.

So stay tuned for that.

Some people have been guessing.

I have not seen anyone guess what we're going to be, which is, I love to shock and awe.

Yeah, I don't think I've seen anyone guess it right.

I don't think so.

I'm really excited.

I don't think so.

And yeah, that's really all it for me.

It was an uneventful day.

Not much to update the girlies on.

Slept like a beast.

Oh, oh, sorry.

So I'm sleeping.

Heavenly slumber.

All of a sudden, I hear

Now, in case you couldn't tell, that was glass shattering.

Couldn't tell.

Glass shattered on the white cloth.

I'm like, what the fuck?

So right before bed, Ben is like, I want to go get some water.

And I had just filled, I have like a reusable water bottle that I use because I've been trying to drink a lot of water.

It's always on my nightstand.

It's always filled with.

I drink a lot of

water.

It's always filled with ice and Brita.

Like, it's really premium.

So Ben's like, I'm going to go get some water.

I'm like, no, wait, I just filled mine up.

Here, take my thing.

He's like, no, no, no.

I'm like, just take it.

You don't have to get up.

Take my water.

He's like, no, I really like those cups you got in Rome.

Like, I want to just use the cup.

I'm like, okay.

Cut to four in the morning.

Ben's like being a beast in his sleep and he knocks the cup off the table and shatters my fucking brand new glass.

From Rome.

I went to Rome.

I bought eight water glasses that are so cute.

I literally got them home.

I was carrying these glasses.

It was like such a thing.

I've kept them all intact since I went to Rome in October.

Ben, boom, breaks one in the middle of the night.

So then there's glass all over the floor.

He has to vacuum because Theo and it's literally, I'm so fucking pissed in my sleep.

I didn't even get up, but I was like, I guess I was yelling at Ben in my sleep about how I literally trekked through all of Europe with these glasses just for him to come home and break it and be a beast.

So then I woke up like normal time a few hours later and I had a text from Ben.

He had found the glasses on Wolf and Badger.

You ever get to see that website?

Really cute stuff.

Really cute stuff.

He had found them.

He bought me a new set of eight, which was so nice because he only broke one.

But I guess like in his sleep, he had felt really bad because I literally begged him right before bed not to use the glass.

Like just use my fucking water bottle, bitch.

So I have eight new glasses on their way.

Well, you come out on top.

I do.

Perhaps you will.

It's just like, like, why?

Like, just use the water bottle.

Of course.

Just use a water bottle.

He had to be histancy.

Fancy Nancy.

Fancy Nancy over here.

Yeah.

And it disturbed my sleep, which like unforgivable sin.

Just as much as the cup.

And I'm sure Theo was distressed as hell.

We all woke up kind of like in a tizzy.

Like we were frazzled.

You hate to see it.

You hate to see it.

It was really disrespectful.

He'll have to apologize for that.

Yeah, he'll have to.

He did, by the way.

And like he felt really bad, which just made me even more annoyed annoyed because I wanted to be angry.

Right, right.

You can't be angry at someone who's like deeply apologetic.

And he woke up.

He was like, I should have just taken the water bottle.

I'm like, yes, like he knew exactly.

I'm like, but I still wanted to be angry.

So now you need to like hold on to this memory for the next time he tries to defy you and be like, remember what happened last time?

Yes.

That's called being petty.

Yeah, that's called being petty.

That's also, I feel like, what you would do with Harry, like to teach someone a lesson.

Yeah, I

perhaps.

Speaking of eggplant Roladini, how is my son?

He's great.

He misses his auntie,

but he's been great.

He left us with a little present today, a little spit-up on

my new merch.

Mommy's new merch, no big deal.

Let's talk about baby spit-up because the way it smells so unbelievably vile.

I mean, of course, it's throw-up, so that makes sense.

But the older he gets, the more disgusting it gets.

Because in the beginning, it was just like a little breast million.

I'm feeling the opposite.

Like, he threw spit up on me today, but he had had oatmeal for breakfast, and it actually smelled like, like, cute baby tings.

It didn't smell vile today.

Maybe it's because you're like his mom, but like, it is literally a trochress.

Like, it could make me gag the smell.

Oh, my God.

You are so dramatic.

I'm not dramatic at all.

Okay.

I'm not.

Like, it's so smelly.

Okay.

I'll tell me you said that.

Please do.

Tom that that wasn't.

The thing about me and Rold, we have a really honest relationship with one another.

He says, Auntie, you look fat in those jeans.

I say, Roldini, your breath stinks.

His breath has never smelled a day in his life.

No, not his breath.

Actually, that's the thing about like not having teeth is your breath smells incredible.

Yeah.

Gotta knock out all my teeth.

So sick of having bad breath.

Yeah.

I like have bad breath.

I think I have a cavity.

I need to go to the dentist too.

One thing about me is like, I'm not going to the dentist, you know?

Yeah, I have to go.

I don't have strong teeth, so it's imperative that I do go, but I think you're fine.

And you know what?

Like, remember when we were kids and like everyone got to the phase in their life where they were getting braces and it was like the worst thing to happen to your social life.

Like it was literally crippling to be just like metal mouth Mabel.

And now so many people I know like in their adulthood who had braces are doing Invisalign.

And just like Invisalign is so common.

Like kids these days like don't even need to get metal braces.

Like they're getting Invisalign.

Like that's not.

Well, Invisalign is so expensive.

And honestly, for a kid, you're getting braces.

Is it not covered by insurance no or braces i guess it's cosmetic and braces i think are we never had them i don't know the cost but i think they're i don't know so much less expensive than invisalign

yeah no but i feel like we'll get to a place where like invisalign becomes the norm perhaps but i think right now if a kid needs braces like you're getting braces deal with it yeah no that's like that's one part of like like i always wished to be younger for sure but like that whole braces thing like that was a traumatizing part of youth for a lot of people yeah you know what i was thinking about recently

Because I feel like so many people, especially like influencers and celebrities, like have veneers.

Okay, I was thinking about that too.

Because our teeth are not veneers, like.

We think we have bad teeth.

No, no, not that I think I have bad teeth, but it's like I just like don't look like a grown person because I have like my little chiclet teeth.

By the way, I completely agree.

But then like grown women have veneers.

And I guess I'm like, I'm not grown until I have veneers.

No, I was literally have, I was just thinking about this because I saw TikTok and this guy was like, do not get veneers.

He was like bleeding out of his mouth.

And all the comments were like about how celebrity and influencer culture is like totally normalized getting veneers cosmetically for no reason.

Whereas like you used to get a veneer or a set of veneers if your teeth got knocked out.

Like it was a medical thing.

And now it's just like a total vanity thing.

How like, yes, you are not like beautiful until you have veneers and it's fucked.

Yeah, it's so, I never thought about it before.

And I always would have thought that like, you get veneers if your natural teeth aren't great.

But now I'm just like, you need, like, you chip a tooth or something.

Right, right, right.

But now I'm like, am I just never going to be on that level if I don't have veneers?

I just want to say, I'm not kidding.

I don't really feel bad for you because, in terms of adult teeth, your teeth are kind of like I could look at you and be like, wait, does she have veneers?

Like, you have like, not your bottom teeth, no offense, but your top teeth.

But your top teeth are like grown adult teeth.

I have two buck front teeth.

Then the ones next to it are tiny little chiclets.

And then the ones next to those are vampire Bella Swan things.

Like I have like

real teeth.

Whereas like you have like beautiful teeth, your top teeth.

Thank you.

Yes, I'm not getting veneers.

I never even

thought about it.

But I just was like noticing all.

of the influencers and celebrities have veneers and I'm like, maybe I'll like

it's it it just looks so much more mature no and the crazy thing about veneers is like how common they've become when they're literally 30 grand and so painful and like to get installed do they take out your you have no teeth underneath you have like little nubs they pull out you have to shave it down to put the cap on

It's like a crazy thing to do.

No, thank you.

And one thing about me, like I embrace plastic surgery, cosmetic enhancements, but I draw the lion at teeth.

Unnecessarily.

Of course.

Like, I'm not talking about when Sheena tripped on the sidewalk, sued the city, and was able to get a whole new set of teeth.

Yeah.

This is interesting.

No, I'm so glad you brought that up because people were just talking about it on TikTok.

I'm like, you're right.

It's so weird.

Yeah.

And I just feel like at every, like, people eventually always get veneers.

I feel like how many like older people do you see with their, with their teeth that grew in when they were eight?

No one.

But that's gonna be me.

I'm not getting veneers.

I'll watch this episode in two years with my big new teeth and be like, oh, I was so naive.

No, I really, um, like, yeah, every single person on reality TV has veneers.

Yeah, and I just feel like now, like, it's kind of how with when everyone gets like lip injections, but I have, these are my like natural lips, but now it's like, I'm kind of part of the small lipped community because everybody's lips are so big.

No, but like, that's how, like, the

scale is changing.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

But that's why, like, when Sonia Morgan, oh, my tooth fell out, like, it's not her real tooth.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Veneers fall out all the time.

So interesting.

So intrescent.

Um, so that's your dental news of the day.

Yeah, and while we could speak about teeth all morning, we have work to do.

So without further aid.

Wait, you know what?

Wait.

You know what I have?

I've got beef between my teeth.

It would be lust

without my floss.

That's like the, that is a cultural shift in media.

Like that episode of Sweet Life of Zach and Cody where that kids performed the song and that kid happened to be Justin from Ugly Betty.

Wow.

And he did that little dance.

I've got beef because he was pretending to be a piece of floss.

It was so good.

Also, we went to the moon in 1969 cultural shift.

Did anybody know when we went to the moon before that?

No.

No, because I had thought that it was 1970, but it was the year sooner.

Yeah.

I didn't know that.

Yeah.

Now you know.

So now without further ado, it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and

take a bite out of your toast.

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Okay, our first story is kind of fucking wild.

James Corden is Hollywood's latest tantrum maker.

So yesterday.

Tantrum thrower.

Yesterday, Keith McNally, NYC, posted on Instagram.

He is the owner of Balthazar and Pastis and Mirandi and Manetta Tavern.

He's a restaurateur in New York.

And those are all, like, if you don't live in New York, those are all like celeb hotspots.

Like, I believe him when he's saying Manetta Tavern.

Like, these are all premium.

Like, good luck getting a table at any of these restaurants.

Yes.

So he posted a grainy photo of James Corden taking his phone.

He really dragged him to filth with that photo.

It looks like he took it on his phone of Google Images.

You know, when people do that?

Oh my God.

And

out of nowhere, he said, James Corden is a hugely gifted comedian, but a tiny Cretan of a man

and the most abusive customer to my Balthazar server since the restaurant opened 25 years ago.

I don't often 86 a customer.

To today, I 86 Corden.

It did not make me laugh.

Here are two examples of the funny man's treatment on my staff.

Manager report number one.

In June, James Corden was here on table 61.

Although this is

diabolical, it happens very occasionally in all restaurants.

After eating his main course, Corden showed the hair to Balthazar manager G, who was very apologetic.

Corden was extremely nasty to G and said, quote, get us another round of drinks this second and also take care of all of our drinks this far.

This way, I write any nasty reviews in Yelp or anything like that.

Okay, so obviously, you know, getting a hair in your food is not ideal, but like humans are creating your food and sometimes that happens.

And it's gross.

But the restaurant, especially a fancy place like Balthazar, like they'll always make it right.

They'll comp your meal.

Like they'll make it right if you point it out.

So obviously it's unfortunate and it's on the restaurant, but that's what happens.

We're not robots making your meal.

Like, people have hair.

Right.

Manager report number two.

James Corden was at Balthazar with his wife on October 9th for brunch.

He asked for a table outside.

Brunch maiter D.

Allie Walters took the party to table 301.

Mr.

Corden's wife ordered an egg yolk omelette with Grayer cheese and salad.

A few minutes after they received the food, James called their server, MK, and told her there was a little bit of egg white mixed with the egg yolk.

MK informed the floor manager, G, the kitchen remade the dish, but unfortunately sent it with home fries instead of salad.

That's when James Corden began yelling like crazy to the server, You can't do your job, you can't do your job.

Maybe I should go into the kitchen and cook the omelette myself.

MK was very apologetic and brought G over to the table.

He returned the dish, and after that, everything was fine.

He gave them promo champagne glasses to smooth things out.

G said that Corden was pleasant to him but nasty to the server.

MK was very shaken but professional that she is continuing to finish her shift.

Okay, so like

James Corden is like a monster.

I feel like that's not the most surprising.

I think that that is surprising.

James Corden is like...

No, no, no, like I can see it.

I can see it.

No, I'm really, really surprised.

He seems like,

first of all, his brand is being, you know, that nice, funny guy.

He's everybody's friend in Hollywood.

And.

So was Ellen.

So was, yeah, no, but that's why that was shocking.

Unless you had heard the whispers before.

Yeah.

It's shocking because her brand was being like the nice, funny woman.

She ended every show like, don't forget to be kind.

Right.

But she forgot.

Don't you forget to be kind.

She forgot.

So she totally totally escaped her mind.

I never heard anything like this about James Corden.

No whispers.

So this has caught me unawares.

And it's very surprising because it's very off-brand for what he purports to be.

But then the manager also, or the owner also posted this, that another grainy photo of James Corden taken on his phone from Google Images.

James Corden just called me and apologized profusely.

Having fucked up myself more than most people, I strongly believe in second chances.

So if James Corden lets me host his late late show for nine months, I'll immediately rescind his ban from Balthazar.

No, of course not.

But anyone magnanimous enough to apologize to a deadbeat layabout like me and my staff doesn't deserve to be banned from anywhere, especially Balthazar.

So come back to the five and dime, Jimmy Corden, Jimmy Corden.

All is forgiven.

I feel like James Corden will never set foot in this restaurant ever again.

It was nice of him to apologize.

I mean, he literally had no choice.

People were dragging him to filth.

And like, I feel like this might, this might be be like the beginning of the peeling back the layers of James Corbyn.

Well, I think now if other people have experiences like this, they will come forward.

I just

one, I just, before I say the next day, I just want to say I think people who are nasty to weight staff are the nastiest people, especially if there was a bit of egg white in your yolk.

Like, that's not a real thing.

You're welcome.

It's healthier for you.

Yeah, welcome.

No.

Who sends that big girl?

Like, that's psychotic behavior.

And, and, and, okay, a hair in your food, like, yes, you definitely send that back, but there is a nicer way to do it.

No one put it there intentionally.

Calm the fuck down.

Agreed.

People who have disrespect for like servers are scum of the earth.

Yes.

With that said,

this restaurant owner just like posting a picture of James Corden to his Instagram with like all of this information I find to be extremely bizarre.

Like one, if he's like Lika to Dunois, like a normal person.

Yeah.

And two, like, I feel like other celebrities might be like, well, I don't know that I want to go.

Not because I'm a bad person or anything, but this guy's just like putting people on blast, you know?

Like, yeah, but I feel like this is not a pattern with this man.

Like, if he was doing it a lot, I'd be like, okay, that's weird.

But you know what?

Like, I don't know.

I kind of liked it.

Yeah.

I mean, it's T.

The T is T.

No, but it's also like, you know, people

out for bad teachers.

Celebrities should live in fear that if they're going to be rude to waitstaff, like, they're going to get dragged.

Because I'm sorry, you have to be a human being.

That's true.

You know what?

Like, if this instills the fear in God

to the Ellens of the world, you know what?

I'm fucking here for it.

I am.

That's a good point.

It doesn't bother me.

Normally, like, this call-out culture where, like, you know,

the thing that always comes to mind is like the Instacart driver who said, like, Kylie's baby was screaming in the next room.

Like, that shit I don't like because one, it feels like an invasion of privacy.

And two, it's like, I don't know if I believe you.

Like, do you, what's the proof that you really even drive Instacart?

But this guy, like, I believe, I believe him.

I know he owns these restaurants.

He's looking out for his staff.

And you know what?

I'm here for it.

Okay.

I am.

Because you know what?

Like,

celebrities are, there are a lot of celebrities who are like really, really rude to the people who work for them.

But, you know, like those people have a choice.

You know, like, they can, you don't have to work for Mariah Carrie.

I'm not saying Mariah's Carey is evil, but you know, like you go to work as a servant, just doing your job, trying to wait on people, and you have to wait on some asshole.

Like, you know what?

I'm here for this whole story.

Okay.

I, I, I don't disagree with you.

And I do, I like your point that they should live in fear and they should be extra nice to make sure that they should live that they don't end up being like this.

But right, remember when Kendall Jenner left Mercer Kitchen without tipping or without paying the bill?

I remember there was a Mercer Kitchen incident.

I don't remember this.

And

I'm sure that it was an accident, a misunderstanding.

Her friend was like, I got it.

No, I got it.

And then they, like, I don't think she skips out on bills.

And the way that she was dragged till the next century online, she'll never do it again.

Yeah.

It teaches celebs.

Everyone's watching at all times.

If you're going to go out in public, you can't act like an ass.

Yeah.

And that's good.

Proper art.

It's good to promote people not acting like an ass.

Agreed, especially in restaurants, because I feel like wait staff are some of the most underappreciated and disrespected people in this country.

Yeah.

So, like, when I'm at a restaurant and I hear, I'll never, I feel like I've told this story before.

I will never forget.

Like I see people being rude all the time.

Nail salon at all.

Like my literal, my butt clenches.

I'm like, yes.

Make it stop.

Shut up.

Okay.

So I was at 40 carrots.

I remember the story from high school because I happened to like have not like well, really well, but I knew the girl who I was looking at.

Like you sit in with her.

You saw it from my friend.

No, no, no, no.

She was a few tables away.

Like I didn't know her enough to say hi, but like I knew her name.

You know, in high school, like you used to like know people's names that you didn't know.

Yeah, of course.

Facebook.

Facebook, right?

Okay, and so we were at 40 carrots, and like at 40 carrots, they don't write things down,

um, but they always get it right.

It's like a thing there, it's crazy, they never write down your order, everyone customizes a salad, swap out this, add this, but they always get it right.

So, this girl was a few tables down from me, and her salad arrived, and I guess it was incorrect.

And so, she summons the waiter and she like goes to their hands like this.

She goes,

Generally, I do not like it when waiters don't write things down.

This salad is incorrect, she shoves it and says, please return it.

It was so rude.

Like, I, and we were both like 16 at the time.

And I was like, damn, she has fucking balls, bitch.

Like, I would never talk to anyone like that.

Like, at six, I would never talk to anyone like that period, but like at 16, like, oh my God.

I never forgot it.

I literally will quote it once a week.

Generally, I don't like when people don't write things down.

Oh, man, you have to tell me who it was offline.

I would love to.

I don't know if you know her.

Oh, my God.

That's like, I barely knew her.

She was just friends with one of my friends.

Also, like, my salad has to be like a hamburger in order for me to send it back.

Right, of course.

Of course, you say no croutons.

The croutons are there, but you just eat it.

Chick them out.

Like, it's not a big deal.

Like good.

I was hoping they would be there.

Right.

No.

Like, for me, I'll never in my life send things back.

I will literally move things around, go home and order McDonald's.

Like, my husband will send things back.

He'll be like, you know, this fish doesn't taste right.

And like, I get it because, you know, you're paying for a fish.

And if the fish is rotten, like, you shouldn't eat it.

But, like, I can't.

And if I ever do, like, my voice is so small.

And I'm like.

No, and this is what I say.

I always, whenever I'm like about to complain at a restaurant, I'm like, I realize I'm the most annoying human being on the planet.

But like, this salad was supposed to not have dressing and it has dressing.

So can I just get a new one?

Yeah, I guess if it was dressed and I wanted it not dressed, I would.

For me, I think salad dressing is the most disgusting thing.

But I would eat it like that.

If it's anywhere near my salad, I can't eat it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a salad ruiner.

And that's for the salad I eat once a year.

So it's not really a frequent problem that I have.

Right.

But no.

Also,

I just feel like in general, like say like something's like a little amiss about your order, whatever it is.

For the most part, everyone should just get a little more comfortable.

Like

it doesn't have to be perfection.

Unless it's like something major, like I agree, like I didn't want lettuce on my burger.

Take it off.

Take it off.

If you like most of the nine times out of 10, what's wrong with your order?

You could pick it out with your fingers.

Like,

yes, I totally agree.

Unless it's really mixed in there, chopped, sauteed, and fried, like you're fine.

Yeah.

Or like it tastes good this way, too.

You'll like it.

Yeah, no, you'll eat it.

You'll eat meant that way.

You'll eat it and you'll like it.

You'll like it.

Totally.

Anyways, I'm very curious to hear if like more people now have the stories about Mr.

Gordon.

Because you're not rude just once.

It's a pattern.

Yeah.

So,

but that was surprising.

That was.

Speaking of people speaking out, Jason Sudakis and Olivia Wilde's ex-nanny is telling all.

She gave an exclusive to the Daily Mail and told how smitten Olivia Wilde broke up with devastated Jason Sudakis just weeks after she began filming Don't Worry Darling with Harry Styles in Palm Springs.

So for the first time.

Before we dive into this story.

I want to say, like, I will be drinking up all the tea that was spilled and dissecting every minute of it.

But I think someone working in your home with your children, then doing an anonymous interview is so abhorrent and disgusting and such an invasion of privacy.

I don't know if she had an NDA, if she didn't have an NDA, but you let someone into your home with your children and they exploit that.

Like, I think that is so horrible and disgusting and just scum, scummy.

Horrible, disgusting.

And I also just, you know, before I even go to like what she said, I want to let you know that Jason and Olivia already put out a statement together.

This might be the thing to bring them back together because like they were united against one another, but now someone who was in their home with their children is attacking them.

It doesn't even matter what they're saying.

Like they are now a united front.

They're back to being a family.

Yeah.

So they said together as parents, it is incredibly upsetting to learn that a former nanny of our two young children would choose to make such false and scurrilous accusations about us publicly.

Her, um,

Her now 18-month-long campaign of harassing us as well as loved ones, close friends and colleagues, has reached its unfortunate apex.

We will continue to focus on raising and protecting our children with the sincere hope that she will now choose to leave our family alone.

So

this woman obviously has an axe to grind.

I personally like, I hope they sue her because she definitely signed an NDA and this violates every term of that.

But here's what she said.

For the first time, she revealed the full inside story of the breakdown of Olivia Wilde's relationship with Jason Sudeikis and her affair with Harry Stiles.

She said that while Olivia Wilde has always claimed that her and Jason split up at the start of 2020, they actually split 10 months later, weeks after she began filming with Harry Styles.

The nanny said she was caught in the middle of the warring pair and said that Jason Sudeikis later uncovered the full details of Olivia's relationship with Harry by reading messages on an Apple Watch Olivia had left behind.

During one blowup on November 15th, Jason allegedly lashed out and chased after Olivia after she had prepared a salad for Harry Styles in their kitchen.

Jason went outside and lay under her car so she wouldn't leave, the nanny said.

A series of devastating texts from Olivia and Jason to their nanny reveals how the actor was crying, crying to her about Olivia leaving.

Not the salad.

Yeah.

This is so messy.

I mean, Olivia has

stated and really dug her ground for years, not for years, but for months, that this was not an extramarital affair.

She started dating Harry after Jason and all was kosher.

I think a lot of people were skeptical of that and the people who were skeptical of that now have even more reason to be skeptical because the nanny said they were still together during 2022.

It wasn't January.

It was more like October.

So that's interesting.

I don't know.

Like

this feels like a little too much information for me.

Like course.

People are entitled to having breakdowns in their kitchens and fighting with their husbands in their driveways.

Like, I don't know.

I feel like as much as I really wanted to like slurp up this tea, it just really feels like none of our fucking business.

Right.

And then also you do have to question the source.

And

Olivia and Jason said like she's been acting in an unprofessional manner for months now and like kind of harassing them.

So I'm not even sure if everything that she said was true.

Even if it is true, it's not my business to know.

So I'm not really like

ingesting it.

I feel like when people do stuff in public, then it's up for all of us to pick apart.

Yeah.

But what you do in the privacy of your own home, this is like a confidentiality.

It's like spying.

And it's no, it's really

people deserve privacy.

It's like when you get evidence in an illegal way, legally, what's that called?

I don't know, but like the evidence is thrown out because if it was secured in an illegal manner, it's uh no, there's a word.

It's um

it's like you throw it out, it's like uh hold on, illegal evidence.

The thing is with the C

it's like so law on order.

Like, I know it's so law and order.

So circumstantial.

We've had this conversation once before, and then like afterwards, I remembered what it was, and now I'm forgotten again.

Shit.

Whatever.

The evidence gets thrown out because it's neither here nor there because it was secured in an illegal manner.

So I agree.

Like, and I bet they're, you know, Elizabeth, Elizabeth, Olivia, and Jacob.

Oh, my God.

I'm not okay.

Elizabeth and Jacob.

Olivia and Jason are like probably quaking that this woman who's clearly unhinged was like so close to their children for so long.

Yeah.

That's like a pit beyond pit.

Pit beyond pit.

So I don't know.

I don't like this.

I really don't.

And it doesn't really change how I feel about the situation.

No, if anything, it makes me sympathetic towards Olivia and Jason.

Right.

And what the biggest bombshell would be like that she did cheat on Jason with Harry, that they did start their affair while they were together.

Yeah, people already think that.

It doesn't change anything for me.

No, I agree.

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Okay, our next story.

Megan Markle is talking about her time on Deal or No Deal on her new podcast.

Her finally, new episode dropped with Paris Hilton, and she is talking about her time as the Deal or No Deal

briefcase girl.

Quick question.

Has she not released an episode since the last time we talked about it?

Or were the other episodes like a round?

I think that she did release an episode.

I think

I believe that she did.

That she has.

So she quit her job in 2006 as a briefcase girl on Dear No Deal because she felt she was being, quote, reduced to a bimbo.

She said, I ended up quitting the show.

I was so much more than what was being objectified on the stage.

I didn't feel like, I didn't like feeling forced to be all looks and little substance.

And that's how it felt for me at the time, being reduced to this specific archetype, the word bimbo.

Oh my gosh, she is like having to use the word archetype.

It's like shoehorning it into every episode.

But I think that's the point of this show.

It's each episode is what word are we deconstructing?

And this one is bimbo.

Got it.

Okay.

I mean, by the way, to be objectified like that, like that sucks.

But that's kind of like, you know, becoming a lawyer and being like, you know, there's too many, too many trials for me.

Like, that's the job.

Right.

Right.

She said, I was grateful for the job, but not about how it made me feel, which was not smart.

By the way, I was surrounded by smart women, but that wasn't the focus.

No, for sure.

And

I'm glad she's talking about it because, like, it's kind of like iconic.

By the way, for me, another cultural shift moment was when everybody put together that Megan Markle, who had just gotten engaged to Harry, had been on deal or no deal.

Like for me, like that whole arc, like you can, that's literally like the American dream.

Like you can do and become anything you want.

It doesn't matter where you came from.

So I personally, like, I'm obsessed with this arc.

Um, to hear that she didn't have a pleasant time, like that sucks.

But it's also like, what did you expect?

Like, that is literally the job you signed up for.

Like, you, you don't talk as a briefcase girl.

You literally stand there in a tiny dress.

Yeah, and hold a briefcase.

And hold a briefcase.

Right.

So I'm glad that she's, I think, feel like this is the first time since she's been

royal that she's acknowledged.

I think so.

I'm trying to think back.

I can't remember another time.

That's why it's so crazy.

Yeah.

So, and you know what?

Like, that's why

that's what a podcast is for.

I respect she could have, you know, kept pretending like it didn't exist.

Next, I need her to talk about giving Roadhead to Ethan in 90210.

Next, I need to talk her to talk about the Hallmark experience.

Was she in a Hallmark movie?

Yeah.

Which one?

One, Sparks Fly.

It was a very lovely July 4th-centered.

Oh, not Christmas.

Okay.

That's not Christmas.

But I do think that there were others.

And in it, her romantic lead of Sparks Fly was Betty Cooper's father from Riverdale, also known as

the Black Hood.

Yeah, Hal Cooper.

Oh, that's weird.

That's very weird.

It's a good movie, though.

Check it out.

I am so grateful that she is talking about it.

I mean, we never watched, but everyone's obsessed with suits.

Yes, I know.

I never watched, so I don't know anything.

That's why I didn't mention it.

But yes, people do.

But we would be remiss if we didn't mention it.

Of course, of course.

Even though to me, like cultural impact of deal or no deal is just as big as that of suits.

Agreed.

So I'm grateful that she is talking about it because like, honestly, it's something I've long wondered and thought about and like what her opinion on it is.

It's not high.

We know that now.

And

cool.

Cool.

Yeah.

She didn't give us like a lot to work with, but.

No.

And her show is like kind of scripted.

So it's like.

It's.

Yeah.

It's like it's.

It's well thought out.

No, it's like interview and then she talks like now, but I'm pretty sure it's like written out before.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's like it's edited.

It has like an interview style and then like they cut to like a narration amusing, Megan's music.

Megan's musings, but it's not like, oh shit, did I just say that?

Fuck it.

Yeah, no, it's not conversational.

It's very produced.

Are you ready for our next story?

Is it the fourth or the fourth?

I am right.

Erica Jane says she was joking about PK and Darrete Kemsley being the next to break up.

So we reported yesterday that at BravoCon, Erica was was asked who she thought the next couple to break up would be.

After a long pause, she said, Dorit and PK.

Then PK posted.

PK dragged her to fucking Phil, honestly.

Erica Jane thought her husband was innocent.

She thought the ankle is more important than the brain.

She thought she could keep the earrings.

Now she thinks Dorit and I are next to split up.

Here's a quick bit of management advice.

Stop thinking.

Yikes.

You know what's so interesting to me is like, at the beginning of the season of Beverly Hills, Garcel's main gripe was like, there is a core group in this group and like no one else can really make genuine friendships because the five of you are so like tight.

And now it's between Lisa and Kyle being Dunzo and Erica and Doreen, like that group of Lisa, Kyle,

Erica, Doreet, and I think Teddy Mellencamp was in that too.

They're like fizzled, like they're done.

Yeah.

Also, Erica then said, when did you get so sensitive?

You know damn well I was joking, but this actually reminded me of something and it's going to sound like kind of crazy, but throughout this season, I was like kind of getting, I don't know what sort of vibe, but I can't explain it between like Erica and Pique.

Like they were such bitter enemies Dreed and Pique's first season.

Like, and Erica like eviscerated him like on the reunion.

He was just like meant to be like this like pervy weird guy.

And now Erica and Pique had like a really good friendship.

Like you always see them like chatting when there's a party.

I think they like, um, Erica likes each other.

Like each other.

Yeah.

I think they like each other.

Even when PK was like to Mauritio, like, aside from your wife, like, who looks the best tonight?

Remember when he asked him that?

Yeah, of course.

And he asked it, like, waiting to give his answer of Erica.

Right.

He had someone in his life.

Right.

And Mauricio's like, Rena.

Like, yeah.

No, totally.

I feel like

they're like really sometimes like are so

friendly.

And they just have like this love-hate relationship.

And now they're on the hate side.

But you don't really miss with your friend's husband like that.

I also don't know why Erica said it.

Like, I, if, okay, so first of all, I didn't get the vibe at all that she was kidding.

She didn't laugh.

So I, I hate when people say that.

Like, if you're going to say something, stand by it.

So I don't know why she said it.

And then I don't know why she said she was kidding.

And it was like, how could they not be upset by that?

Like, don't be all surprised that they're mad.

No, if that's your friend and that your friend says that, like, say about someone you're not friends with.

Like, right, because Dareed is like very Switzerland, almost to the point where she's like boring this season.

So she doesn't come for anyone.

If anything, she was being like really sympathetic to Erica and Aspen.

So I don't really know why Erica would come for her when Doreed has really been nothing but neutral and really nice to Erica this season.

Yeah.

Just like they moved into Diana's hotel together.

Right, right.

So like, come on.

It's weird.

It's weird for sure.

And it's like, it's aggressive for no reason.

Yeah, I don't know.

But who else would she have said?

She was asked which of the ladies from Beverly Hills, right?

I don't know what the question was, but she would have stuck to Beverly Hills because she doesn't know the other franchise's marriage.

I mean, it's hard to say because Sutton and Garcell don't have husbands.

Nobody knows Rick Hilton.

Kyla.

She would never say Rinna.

She wouldn't say Kyla Mauricio.

And you can't say Kyla Mauricio because their marriage is an institution.

Yeah.

So

she's really only left with Doreen.

She was not answered.

She like walked down the runway.

Yeah, she made a moment.

Yeah.

Yeah.

These Watch Rapids live specials have started to air.

The first night I I sent you that clip, they had

Candace Dillard Bissett, Kenya Moore, Sheena Marie Shea, and Melissa Gorga each perform like a medley of their own songs.

And I was like living for every moment of it.

I thought Kenya's was a mess.

I thought Sheena's was so cute.

Like she did actually a really good job.

She did.

Candace Dillard took it incredibly seriously, which was like a little bit weird, but still pretty good.

And then Melissa Gorga lip-sang for her life, and it was fabulous.

Yeah, it was.

couldn't look away.

No, I mean, these Watch Robins Live specials, they've done them before, and I don't know why they have so much trouble with the audio.

Like, Andy's running around handing his microphone to everyone, like, mic people up.

Yeah.

No, they did them dirty with the music.

But I think, like, by Sheena's turn, she realized, you know what, just don't sing over the track because you can't sing, you can't hear it.

Kenya was the first

and she didn't know.

She got screwed.

The first through the wall is the blood.

She didn't know.

She didn't know.

Yeah.

But they all were good sports about it yeah um i actually really enjoy those watched weapons live specials where they do like the kids ones like i i like that yeah i didn't watch it you know what i started watching a new show on netflix called the empress

the star

vibes royal vibes it's um about Cece.

She's the Empress of Austria and she's come up a lot in my readings.

I was actually just reading about Hetty Lamar and she plays Cece in an Austrian like Broadway production of Cece.

And I was like, you know what?

I've seen this woman a few times.

I'm going to read a book about her next.

And then I realized that this new show on Netflix is about her.

So I've started watching it.

It's really quite gorgeous and stunning.

I'm only two episodes in, but I look forward to learning her story.

Stunning.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Only if it's the fifth and final story that's sponsored by Neutrophall.

Yeah.

Is it?

Yeah, sorry.

I was, yeah.

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Great.

Our fifth and final story, a little more bravo news.

Monique Samuels and her husband, Chris Samuels, have taken to their YouTube channel to address the rumors, and they have announced that they are trying to fix their marriage, but they deny divorce rumors.

So you are 100% right, by the way.

Like,

I thought you were being crazy, being like, no, they like it.

It literally feels like they put this story out to promote their YouTube channel.

It worked because Monique admitted that her map, because if there was no divorce rumors and then she just went on YouTube to say that they're struggling, no one would be able to do it.

It wouldn't be news because also they went on Love and Marriage DC last year and like talked about some of their marriage struggles.

So that wouldn't be news.

Anyway, she admitted that her marriage with her husband, Chris Samuels, was quote, struggling in some areas, but they are most definitely not getting a divorce.

She said, it's no secret that Chris and I have been struggling in some areas of our marriage.

And anybody who watched Love and Marriage DC last year, y'all saw the arguments, y'all saw everything that was going on.

It was a lot of confusion.

It was crazy building up to that 10-year marker of our marriage.

And when you've been married that long and you have things that you're like, listen, this is being unmet or I've been unheard.

You start to get frustrated and it's like, oh my God, is this what life is going to be like?

I can't take it anymore.

So what you guys saw in Love and Marriage was my cry for help.

Anyways, they will be living apart right now, though not getting divorced and they will be working through these issues.

I mean, it makes me really sad, first of all, that like their marriage marriage is having trouble because I like, I looked up to their marriage.

I thought they had an amazing marriage and I really, really hope that they can work through this.

But it also makes me sad that they're resorting to these types of tricks and

staged moments because Monique is better than this.

And I feel like, honestly, she needs to come back to housewives for real.

I agree.

I also think like if you can sit down and do like a YouTube video with your husband, 100% who you're like on the outs with, but you guys can like really talk about how your needs aren't being met.

It's like, well, what if instead of talking to YouTube, you just talked about your needs?

Like they're communicating.

Like, I just feel like it's a bit drastic considering it seems, of course, not everything's as it seems, but like to sit down and be able to like talk publicly about the fact that you guys are going through a rough time right now and are on the brink of divorce.

It's like, we can maybe come back from here.

Yeah, no, because couples, most couples, 99% of couples who are on the brink of divorce, like cannot even look at each other, let alone sit down and record a YouTube video.

Right.

If you need so much space from someone that they need to move out, like, how can you record?

You're not getting it together to fill.

So what I need from Monique is I need her and Chris to really work on their marriage, get to a better place so that they can return.

Yeah.

Because it's enough.

Like it was fun.

She was disrespected.

She had to stand her ground.

But now Bravo needs to

swallow their pride.

and crawl back to Monique.

I don't think she's going to go back.

I know, because you know what she is?

Scrupled.

Scrupled.

Even though I bet

when Candace was talking about have you no scruples, she was talking about Candace.

Actually, she might have been talking about Ashley for writing the statement.

She was in her house.

I don't know who Candace was with her.

She was talking like to Chris.

Chris.

But I don't know what it was about.

I think it was about Monique.

Well, we've truly come full circle on that.

I just, I need her back, especially because I know it's early, so it's not fair to say, but like these first two episodes of Potomac have been positively dreadful.

Like the way that Giselle is creating a storyline out of thin air with this Chris Bassett DM, like we need more.

We're going to need more.

We're going to need more than that.

Yeah.

And I just, I know the woman to do it.

I think they thought it was going to be Cherise, but I think it's going to be Monique.

I hate Cherise.

I would love for it to be Monique.

I would love for Monique.

Also, now that Charisse is back, Monique probably won't join.

Right, right, right, right.

Yeah.

But like these antics with the YouTube and like the

boy who cried divorce, like she's better than this.

Come on.

So those are the fast fact stories.

You definitely did not need to know any of them.

Really?

Maybe the first one.

And you didn't need to know Jason and Olivia.

No, you didn't need to know the big nothing burger that was Monique.

Megan Markle.

Also, she said a whole bunch of nothing.

Yeah, but she talks about her time.

Right, right.

Maybe, okay, so maybe like two and a half of the stories you needed to know.

Yeah.

The James Corden thing is just like, I'm still trying to

process it because just something about it just like doesn't

doesn't feel like justice to like

put someone on, I don't know.

But like, of course, what he did is.

It does.

By the way, if your crime is going to be like being an asshole, I think being put on blast is the perfect punishment, honestly.

It's not illegal to be an asshole, but it's just not the right thing to do.

Of course, of course.

I don't know.

It's just like,

it didn't feel like justice.

I also felt like the way it ended felt weird.

Because, like, he apologized to the restaurateur.

Not, he didn't apologize publicly or to MK and

to the staff that we know of.

So, I don't know.

It's just like a weird story.

It was definitely a weird ending.

Like, never mind.

He apologized.

He can come back.

And I want to host late show.

Yeah, no, the guy is weird.

But I respect the hustle because if I ever, like, you know, if James Gordon ever owed me anything, I too would ask in return to do his job.

Yeah.

Also, now people probably go to Balthazar, like, knowing you're going to be put on blast.

So, like, I'm going to also, you're going to see someone.

I'm going to be an angel now.

Yeah, no, it definitely adds to like the legacy of Balthazar, which already has like a rich history of being a celeb spotter.

Where is it?

I think it's technically in Greenwich Village.

It's like, I think it's by Lafayette, I think.

Don't quote me on that.

I've been once and I took a cab and I don't remember like what story it was.

I don't, I don't know if I've ever been.

Maybe, no, sorry.

I think it's in Soho.

Okay.

It's a stunning facility, by the way.

When you come to town, we should go.

It's like, oh, next time we have a GNO and we don't know where to go.

That's where we should go.

But we better act right.

Oh, I will, Keith McNally.

I will.

So those were the stories.

That was our show.

Nice and quick show.

Oh, no.

It's already an hour and 10 minutes.

Okay.

Tomorrow we are back with Dear Toasters.

Do we have any TV that's on top of it?

Definitely.

Though I couldn't tell you what.

No, I couldn't tell you either.

But we'll see you guys tomorrow.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast anywhere.

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So that's spotted by iTunes Stitcher, Public Radio, IRB, Cast Box, all the places.

Wherever you listen to podcasts, find us, The Toast, leave a five-star view about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

Hope you guys have an increase Tuesday.

And we'll see you tomorrow for Humpty.

Bye-bye.