Don't Count Out Yar Auntie: Monday, October 17th, 2022

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the Toast.

Happy Monday.

Hope everyone had a fabulous, stunning, beautiful, and smart weekend.

Hey, Jax, how you dern?

I'm dern good.

Happy to be back in studio.

It was great weekend, busy weekend, tiring weekend.

And now it's just another glorious Monday.

Could you believe it?

No, because it feels like a Friday.

I have the longest weekend.

Like, I'm ready to now relax, but it's monday um we haven't been in studio since thursday um

well actually since wednesday because thursday we recorded remotely from nashville um i i feel like i've been to the edge of the earth and back since that last show like i'm a different person what's changed for you just the experiences i've experienced you know they've changed you they've changed me i mean first of all my show in nashville was life-changing like

the way i would literally move to nashville is is not normal.

It was so fun.

First of all, like the show was incredible.

It was such a nice theater.

Shout out to the T-PAC.

It was beautiful and I was amazing.

And then I hit the town afterwards, obviously, because Shannon was in town.

My friend Abe came with me and it was Nashville.

So like I did what I had to do.

You do what you do.

Yeah, I went honky-tonking on Broadway.

It was in Khayab.

Like the way I don't think I've ever had more fun in my life than when I go out in Nashville.

Like, why don't I live there?

You should move there.

Well, if I lived there, like, I wouldn't go to Broadway.

That's the thing.

It's like truly for tourists, but I don't care.

You would find somewhere else and you would, I think you would still love it.

I support you moving there.

It was amazing.

Like I love it there so much.

The weather was perfect.

The people were so nice.

I had so much fun.

I was like out till the break of dawn, came home, ate McDonald's, like things I do in New York, you know?

It was really

just stunning.

Like if you were there to experience it, I'm so glad for you because it was wonderful.

Like, oh, just love.

You love to hear that.

Claudia always embarks on her tour.

She doesn't know what it's going to be.

She's always a little shy, even through her confidence.

You can see that there's like a shyness, you know?

Like, you know, how you always say, like, will people love, like, am I funny?

Blah, blah, blah.

And then she comes back on a Monday to let us know that she crushed it.

That I crushed, I'm literally the most talented comedian on the planet.

Like, nobody can write material better than me.

I am the voice of my generation.

Like, that's how I feel when I get off stage, which is good.

It's better than feeling like, oh my God, I'm in the wrong line of work.

Like, do I actually think I'm the most talented comedian?

Yes.

You know what I mean?

It's just, yeah, you're right.

Like, the difference between like the podcast before a show and after is so different.

Before a show, it's like, hope you guys come and have a good time.

Like, we're going to have a lot of fun.

Yeah, like, I think you guys are going to like it.

Lit that shit to the ground.

We did.

We burned that mother down.

Like, if you were there, you know, like, we burned that to the ground.

You experienced greatness.

I experienced greatness.

Like, let's do it again.

Where are are we doing it again next time?

So I hate to disappoint everyone, but my last three remaining shows, Durham,

Charlotte, and Birmingham are at 100% capacity.

I just got the numbers the other day.

So there's literally not a ticket to be sold.

So you will not catch me promoting girlwithnojob.com slash tour.

You won't.

Oh my gosh, the show is about to be like 15 minutes shorter every day.

No, the show is about to be 15 minutes long.

Period.

Yeah.

I'm so sorry to like be the bearer of bad news, you know?

I'm sold out nationwide.

I'm sure we could find something else to promote while we have this dearth.

I mean, if we had to, you know, it's never too late to become a redhead.

Girlwithnojob.com/slash book jackieoflow.com.

I mean, the list, the list of mogul tings is endless.

T-N-N.

Yes, et cetera, et cetera.

Speaking of it being never too late to become a redhead, you are a redhead right now as you are currently reading our newest book.

Can you share your thoughts as you progress?

I'm reading lessons in chemistry.

I'm taking it slow.

I haven't had like a ton of time to read.

I think I'm about like 50, 60% now.

If you read the book, like you know the thing that happened like crushed me and like I really did not want to continue reading the book.

Like why?

Why did they have to do that?

That was Snatcher's POV too.

That was so unnecessary.

Like these two miserable people who had like the only source of joy taken from them.

Like whatever.

I don't want to spoil it for anyone.

I am enjoying it.

It's a lot of science.

Like chill with the scientific analogies.

Like we get it.

Are you a scientist we get it um but i am really enjoying it i'm just doing it slowly i don't know why because you had a busy weekend yeah so then i came back friday headed to the new york wine and food festival spritz through a a bash it was as truly like i i had nothing to do with the planning so ben was just like show up here wear this like you know and it was so much fun all the girlies came out the influencer sophila court and it was super fun

like the face of spritz the face of spritz the gorgeous face of spritz she is a Spritz can personified.

1,000%.

Bubbly, red, stunning.

Yeah.

I love when you and Margo hang out with her because I just feel like it's,

I feel seen.

Through osmosis, like you're hanging out with her.

Yeah, it's like you guys still choose to hang out with redheads only.

And then I ran into Matt Peterson.

So he is a TikToker who I've known is a toaster.

He has like literally 10 million followers on TikTok.

It's crazy.

What's his shtick?

Okay, I'll do it for you.

He's like, he does like this food, these food challenges.

So someone will be like, eat only purple foods for a day.

So he'll choose someone's challenge and be like, challenge accepted.

And then he'll take you through the day of like eating only purple foods.

And he just moved to New York.

So he came to this prison party, obviously, because it was the New York Wine and Food Festival.

Of course, Matt Peterson had to be there.

And I knew he was a toaster.

I didn't realize how big of a toaster he was.

Jackie, he was saying the nicest things and he said something that like truly stuck with me that I was like using all weekend because I was like, I was really nervous about BravoCon.

He was like, I need to tell you something.

Like you guys have to stop talking about like your haters because you don't realize like there are so many people who love you guys.

We like literally would take a bullet for you.

You're such an important part of our day.

Like stop talking about the four haters.

You have so many lovers.

And I'm like, you're so right.

Like I was like, it's just human nature, you know, like you focus on the negative.

Like there could be a hundred people in a room.

It's, yes, it's human nature.

And there's a million people in the room.

I think like we are particularly traumatized.

Yes.

But that is such amazing advice.

And that's literally the advice like we always give other people.

Other people we can't take ourselves.

And I've really never thought about it like that.

No, Jackie, and he was like literally screaming at me, but he was totally right.

He's like, stop, stop.

And I'm like, okay, okay, I'll stop.

He was totally right.

Oh my God, I'm obsessed.

Obsessed.

Obsessed with this change of perspective.

So that was kind of the shift in my weekend, you know, like that was like a whole new me.

That's what I'm saying, a new girl, new experiences.

Oh my God.

I'm, I'm loving where you're taking us.

So then Saturday, I woke up and I finally went to Pennsylvania to meet Brian's son, Dean.

It was literally the nicest day.

First of all, like fall is in full effect.

And as much as I'm like, there's so many aspects of your new life that I'm jealous of, of course, you know, having a pool, Harry, like a lot of different things.

You not having the seasons, like it sucks.

Like we were driving up.

It was so sick.

It's so sick.

And when I was moving to Florida, people are like, oh my gosh, the weather so amazing i'm like that's actually my least favorite part about thinking about moving to florida is like i i love the seasons i even like the colds and i'll suffer through those two miserable months you know i'm living literally two months for 10 and no you're living yeah yeah yeah it's worth Oh, I love it all.

And so to me, like the weather in Florida is actually a negative, not a positive.

For most people, it's a positive.

You know, it's summer 24-7.

You can always swim.

I still haven't been in my pool since you were here in August.

Well, I'm coming back maybe sometime this week.

I probably won't be in my pool again until you come back.

Well, I'll make sure to pack my trunks.

Bring your swimsuit.

So we just drove up to Pennsylvania and it was so beautiful.

Like I literally was like sobbing on the way there.

It's just like you only get like a month, maybe less of like that transition

of the transition.

So it's still a little green, yellow.

It was so beautiful.

It was like such a peaceful drive.

And then we got up to Brian's farm, which he's done like so much renovation and construction on.

And the trees were just, it was so red by Taylor Swift.

And I met baby Dean, and he was so fucking cute.

And Brian had the nursery, and it was just like so amazing.

And we had lunch, you know, John grilled, and it was just like a studying day.

We walked around the property, saw the horses.

And then right before we left, we watched Brian's birth video.

So Brian surrogate's wife kind of like filmed the whole thing on an iPhone, like nothing crazy, but we put it on airplane and we watched it.

And it wasn't like super

graphic?

Graphic, thank you.

She was standing, you know, at like a normal

angle.

But

I think Ben was like, I have seen a birth before.

Like I once ran into a toaster and she showed me her water birth and that was honestly fucking traumatizing.

I've never, I've given birth and I've never seen, I don't know what it looks like.

I've never watched a video of it.

I don't know what, like, I only saw what I could see.

And, and I think that's how it's supposed to be.

Did you look at your coochie?

I did as much as I could,

but I couldn't.

I'm not an acrobat.

Like, you know, pregnant.

Yeah.

Like, I can't like

pregnant.

Oh, there's a, the baby is in my way.

Right.

So there was like twice where she was like, come and look.

So I did as much as I could.

And it was like.

cool stuff.

Nothing crazy, but like Zaga.

That's so crazy.

So we watch a video.

As the baby's coming out, they like, you know, immediately bring baby to Brian's second skin.

We're all like sobbing.

It was really like, you could totally, in the video, it captured like the specialness of that moment.

And Brian was saying how, like, a lot of, you know, it wasn't in Cedar Sign, I was kind of outside LA.

And so, you know, they don't have a lot of surrogacy there.

And so, um, everyone, like the nurses, and that everyone was crying.

Like, it was like so emo.

It was so beautiful.

So, right after that, we left, we drove back to the city, and Ben was like dead fucking silent in the car.

I'm like, what is wrong?

That's so not Ben.

He's so, he's so chatty, especially in a moving vehicle.

He was like, I just, I can't talk.

Like, I need to process what I just saw.

I'm like, oh my God, it wasn't even that crazy.

Like, I don't even have a particularly strong stomach.

It just, it wasn't that crazy.

He was dead silent for the first 45 minutes of the car ride.

Like, he could not speak.

Yeah, I don't, I don't feel like people need to watch.

birth videos.

I feel like by the, like, by the time you give birth, like every, your body has done such like incredible, amazing things.

It's like, what's pushing out a human?

And even like for your husband, so like if Ben saw you give birth, like he also had seen you like create a child for 10 months.

It's like

it's very stark to go from being a lay person to watching a birth.

Yeah, I don't think you need to watch a birth to like prepare yourself for it, but it was like a nice moment.

I'm glad I got to see from Brian's life.

You know what I mean?

Not everyone's cut out for it.

That's what I was taking away.

I wasn't looking for like, you know, anatomical,

like blood.

No, I was just like, oh my God, this is so special.

I actually wish I could have been there, but now I got a video, you know?

Yeah.

So it was such a nice day.

And then me and Ben just came home and chilled because the next day I was doing BravoCon.

So we drove home.

We got stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic going into the Lincoln Tunnel.

And Ben had a moonstruck moment, which if you listen to the toast, you know that means he thought he was going to shit his pants.

And we pulled off and like we were driving around.

You know, like right before you get into the tunnel, there's nothing there.

Like

we were driving around.

We were.

Ben was screaming.

Like we finally ended up at some random, like, it was called Bonefish Grill.

Ben got to poo, and that was the end of our day.

Then we went to bed, woke up super early yesterday for BravoCon.

So I knew I was moderating this panel at BravoCon, and I was like really fucking nervous.

Like, honestly, it kind of ruined my weekend knowing that I had to do it because I had this pit.

Like, I was really nervous about it the whole time.

And I wasn't sure why.

But then once I got there, like, I realized why the magnitude, like the event, it's 10,000 people.

It's at the Javid Center.

It's huge.

It's like this huge undertaking.

And the second you walk in, I saw saw literally within four steps, I saw Naomi, Craig, Austin, Kyle Richards, so many different people, Patricia Altschul.

Like, it was really overwhelming.

And it was kind of crazy to be there because, you know, everyone who becomes a Bravo lebriti, like, immediately gets like this big ego, I think.

And they all think they're like the biggest star on their show.

So then to be in a room with all these other big stars, it was kind of like

a dick measuring contest?

Yeah, exactly.

Like, and I saw saw a lot of people being nice to one another.

I saw a lot of people ignoring one another.

For a Bravo fan, it was incredibly overwhelming.

Like, you, I couldn't go to the bathroom without seeing 45 people.

It was crazy.

I saw Reza.

I can't even, Jackie Goldschneider.

Like, I can't even count the people, Lee McCweeney.

And then I got to meet everyone for my panel.

So my panel was all about the iconic vacations that they've taken.

So we heard from Candace Dillard, Bissette, Kyle Richards, Kenya Moore, and Luan De Lesseps.

And then also four producers from each of their shows talking about like how they plan and how they film those trips.

Did they talk about who pays for it?

No, but we did talk about like why Beverly Hills seems to always be flying private when everyone's flying commercial.

And Kyle was like, because we pay for it.

So the ladies pay for it.

Okay, fair is fair.

And I think that really settled the rest of the group.

Kenya was like, yeah, why?

And they were like, well, we pay for it.

And everyone was like, oh, okay.

Well, that makes sense.

At least you're not getting special treatment.

Right.

So the panel went great.

We had great conversations.

It was so interesting to see how like the crowd receives different housewives.

I mean, I could have told you this, but seeing it in person, like the way the room lost their mind over Luanne.

Like she's such a star.

And I think in the context of this conversation, vacations, she really comes to mind as, you know,

Is that a buffalo coming down the stairs?

Axela Francais, the pirate, don't be all uncool.

Like she has all these iconic moments falling into the bush.

So everyone was really lit to see her.

And for me, I've met Kyle and I've met Luanne.

I had never met Candace and I never met Kenya.

And, you know, I watch Potomac religiously and I'm not a particular like Candace fan.

But after meeting her, I have to say, like,

obsessed.

She was, of all the ladies, the nicest to me, like chatting, taking pictures, like so kind, so lovely.

And then when I was watching last night's Potomac, like I found myself being like drawn to her.

But that happens all the time when we meet with the show.

Same with Kenya from the show.

Yep.

Like when they come on the toast and you, you get a really good feeling from them, it influences how you see them on the show show because you're able to just like put them into context.

And like,

I think it's a good thing when that happens.

It harmonizes them.

Yeah, no, and to have more of like a

picture of this person.

So I'm so here for changing hearts and minds.

Yeah, Kenya was incredible.

Like I'm obsessed.

The way that like, you know, it really showed me and I think it's so important to always remember like you don't know the people that you're watching on TV.

Like you literally know nothing about them.

Yeah.

It's so cool.

It was awesome.

It was so cool to be asked.

Like honestly, like I was really honored.

I'm glad it's behind me because I was like so nervous about it.

And there were so many toasters there, which just made like, it was a very welcoming environment, which I really appreciated.

That's so nice.

It was a fabulous weekend.

Jam-packed weekend for you.

Jam-packed weekend for you.

How was your weekend?

I'm tired of talking.

My weekend was a little different.

You know, it was very home.

Focused whenever Harry was napping.

I was either just reading or cooking.

But a few exciting updates from the weekend that I'll i'll share one on friday morning we took harry to get his passport which was just like the cutest

when i tell you i've showed every single picture people that picture every single person that picture sorry i'm like having a seizure of his passport picture it he's literally a lump of potatoes like he's just skin in the picture it's he's just like a potato uh dress like acting like a big man you know

cosplaying um also something really exciting that happened this weekend was that harry said mama.

Oh my God.

Yes.

And I've also showed 1 million people that video.

Sorry.

So on Saturday morning, when I, when he woke up and I went to get him from his crib, like I'm pretty, I thought I heard him say mama, but like no one was around.

And, you know, I didn't have it on video.

So I was like, oh, maybe his like mouth just made mama, whatever.

I didn't think too much of it.

But then later, I've also been noticing that when he plays with brew or like sees brew, and I'm always saying, brother Bruno, brother Bruno.

I'm always like, there's brew, where's brew?

I just say Bruno all the time.

I've been noticing that he's like trying to say Bruno.

It's obviously not going to be a baby's first word.

It's kind of hard, but he's like, it is.

He'll say, boo, boo.

And so like, we were eating and just like playing and Zach and I were like, Bruno.

He's like, boo, Bruno, boo.

And we were doing that for a while.

And then Zach decided to switch it up.

And he was like, dad, dad.

And I was like, please.

And Harry goes, mama.

You guys, the video like, like, changed my life.

Like, not only was it like, you know,

a lot of kids say mama.

Now, I'm not saying Harry's special, but i think he might be because he literally had such enunciation he basically said mother no not even that like he swerved on his father he

was think you think i'm gonna say dada before mama when this woman birthed me did you see a birthing video yet father you think

it was literally so perfectly enunciated it wasn't like

it was mama literally like jason mamoa

even he couldn't ruin the moment so that was really sweet

Like when I say, when I tell you, I've watched a video no less than 45,000 times, I'm obsessed.

Literal genius.

It was really, really cute.

And then really exciting was last night, the Snatchler came over because she was in town for work.

She requested I make a chili, which, you know, I'm never going to turn down.

I did a different chili than the one from last week because the Shapiros did come over and I don't want them to get sick of my cooking.

So I did a beef chili from Half Baked Harvest.

Love her recipes.

And it was a big hit.

Like Kayla literally is obsessed with my cooking.

Like there could be chips on the plate.

I made a corn muffin.

Her plate is full of like yummy carbs.

Only eating the chili.

That's our carnivorous girly.

And she is like the only critic that I care about their opinion.

She's the only voice that matters in the culinary industry.

The only voice that matters.

And I think it was Friday night.

Oh, I cooked Friday night too.

See, a lot of cooking this weekend.

I made stuffed peppers.

Tacos, stuffed peppers.

So good.

I was the only one who ate the stuffed peppers.

Everyone else just had tacos.

But I really enjoyed and I'll be having stuffed peppers for lunch for months.

No, I have two more.

I'll be having it for lunch and dinner.

It sounds like we had such different weekends.

And like, I'm like so jealous of your weekend just because like family food and fun, you know?

Mm-hmm.

You were missed, though, because, you know, the sisses were together last night having chili and

you would have loved it.

That's that's sweet.

And just out of reading update, I finished my book tomorrow, tomorrow, and tomorrow.

I could say objectively, it's a good book, but I personally didn't love it.

But it was, it's a good book.

It's obviously amazingly well written.

It just, I was saying this to Claude, it just filled me with like existential dread.

And I don't feel that way when I read a lot of books, but I was just feeling like dreadful.

That's how I feel, honestly, about every new episode I watch of Tell Me Lies.

Yeah, it's positively dreadful.

It's just like,

it was so pessimistic and like, just like sad and just like never really got really to be great, even though these were kids who were like having like so much success and they just like couldn't enjoy life.

And I just love a little joie de viv, you know?

It's so important that every book I read has a certain element of joie de viv.

And just leaves me with a bit of joie de viv.

But then I'm also reading, I'm almost done with, The Only Woman in the Room by Marie Benedict.

It's historical fiction and it's the story of Hedi Lamar, who is an iconic queen, but her backstory is so interesting.

She's an Austrian Jewess who escapes right before the breakout of World War II and goes on to Hollywood to become a huge actress and inventor.

She's like the most gorgeous woman and the smartest woman.

Get you a woman who could do both.

And her story is amazing.

What am I saying is that she's beautiful, stunning, and smart.

Literally beautiful, stunning, and smart.

And I haven't finished reading it yet, so I don't want to Google yet, but a quick Google because I wanted to see a picture of her because I'm like, this beautiful woman, let me see, showed me that Gal Godot will be playing her in a series on Showtime.

Of course she will.

Our Jewish queen Gal Godot coming in to preserve history.

And to play a fellow Jewish queen.

And I also love reading books about like the time before,

like between 1933 and 1939.

So like the war hadn't broken out yet, but like the Nazis are on the move and like, you know, Nuremberg laws are going into place.

Anti-Semitism is like crazy on the rise.

And like.

I know in hindsight, everyone thinks that they would do the right thing and like stand up for like people who are being

oppressed.

But like it's so interesting to

hear, to like see what actually happened during that time and how like

everyone just like went along with it, cheered for it.

Like when Austria, when Germany invaded Austria, they didn't even have to invade.

Everyone was cheering in the streets.

There was no military presence.

They just absorbed Austria.

And

it's, um,

it's just crazy to hear it from like the what actually happened.

If you ever do one of those trips like to Poland, um, like a March of the Living, there there are all these trips that you can go on and like learn about the Holocaust, visit concentration camps.

Auschwitz is obviously like a museum now.

And one of the craziest parts of that trip is they'll show you how like all these, there are so many different facilities that were used to like

kill and, you know, enslave Jews.

And so many of them are like literally in the middle of a suburb.

Like you're standing in what used to be like a gas chamber.

And right across the street, there's like a nice suburban, you know, street with five homes on it.

And people used to just chill while all that was going on.

Yeah, also, like, the last count, I think it was like the New York Times discovered that there were 40,000 concentration in death camps across Europe during World War II.

Like, that's not something that like a few crazy people hook up.

No, and it's not like this is like mass production,

people are okay with it.

Like, it's

wild to think that.

And also, like, you don't just go from like

Hitler being

elected to death camps.

Like there's an almost 10-year period where like it's all of these small things that happen along the way that nobody stops or nobody speaks out against that allow for you to get to that final solution.

Well, we've got BravoCon and concentration camps here for you today.

And that's what you can expect at the Morning Toast, the unexpected.

The unexpected.

But that's what happens when you're a reader.

Like you're just expanding your horizon.

Constantly expanding your horizon.

So there was a lot of news that came out from that book.

What was it called again?

The Only Woman in the Room, Marie Benedict, fabulous historical fiction writer, also wrote personal librarian, Chef's Kiss.

There was a ton of news that came out of BravoCon, so we're going to talk about all of that and just the general musings from the weekend, lots going on.

And then we also have House of the Dragon recap at the end of today's episode and a little Potomac.

There's really nothing going on in Potomac, so it'll be a 40-second recap.

But House of the Dragon, second to last, the penultimate.

I love that word.

The penultimate is always fucking snatched.

We had the ninth out of tenth episode of House of the Dragon last night, so of course your girlies are going to be recapping that for you at the end of today's episode.

You truly don't want to miss it.

No, you don't.

So, without further ado,

where are you?

Bruno misses his auntie.

Do-do-do-do-do-do,

where is Do?

What did he do all weekend?

do it.

I love you.

Theo was at his grandparents.

Do it do it.

I'm happy for Dew.

Can't wait till he's with his auntie.

Do-do-do-do-do-do.

I need brew.

We need to discuss when I'm coming to you.

Do-do-do-do-do-do.

Brew loves you.

He said, where's my auntie?

Okay, I know this is probably like not podcast fodder, but I don't need to pack any food for Theo, right?

You still have that big bag or did Bruno eat all of it?

He ate some of it, but you don't need to pack.

Also, I meant to send you a picture of this week and I forget why I didn't.

Bruno went into your bed.

Like, I caught him there.

It was like pitch black.

You're kidding.

He like ran out.

I turned on the lights.

He was like getting into the pillows.

It's like unmade because Brew was looking for you.

Leave it.

Yeah.

I'm shook.

I know.

I meant to send you the picture.

Also, speaking of I'm shook, there's a new episode of Good Guys, which there is every Monday, but today, Ben was in LA last week, so they recorded a bunch of episodes together.

And the one they recorded today has Cody Co on it, which is like, look at them getting premium, like A-less guests one month into podcasting.

I guess it's the power of Josh Peck, probably.

So check that out.

It's anywhere you get your podcast.

It's up right now.

I listened to it last night.

I was cracking up because they're all like, well, Cody is engaged, but they're all like, you know, married guys.

Yeah.

And Ben was saying the funniest thing.

He was like, I am so grateful to be married because like I was the biggest loser before I got married.

Like my wife totally saved me.

And Josh was like, well, why do you think you were a loser?

And Ben was like, because I had no confidence.

Like I couldn't get any girls.

Like I literally thought I was like an ugly, like I had no confidence.

And he's like, well, now like I have so much confidence.

Like my wife gives me so much confidence.

Like if I was single, I'd be slaying.

It was a really good conversation and Cody's just the best.

So that's really sweet.

It was sweet.

They're like, because you know what?

They really are like the good guys.

They were just talking about how like married life is awesome.

Like they're so cute.

That's really cute.

i i'm gonna listen to it but i feel like that's a really good message to get out there i feel like the good guys are good role models and it's not what you typically hear you know no theory is like about how monogamy is not natural from all these like selected pussy this weekend and they all have like open marriages and like yeah

they're making monogamy cool I love that.

And if there's like a guy that you're talking to and like you want him to like start kind of settling down, maybe maturing, suggest good guys.

I think it'll really help like that, you know, late 20s guy, bachelor, who's like maybe close to transitioning into like a settling down period of his life.

I think it could help.

Send them the good guys pod.

Oh my God, I love, I love the work that they're doing.

Mm-hmm.

So now without further ado, here are the fast five stories that you need to know on this glorious Monday.

I like that.

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Great, thank you.

Our first story is a big BravoCon recap.

The biggest headlines, moments, exclusives, et cetera, in no particular order.

Here's an

article from In Touch Weekly with some of the biggest moments that we'll break down.

First, the new Rony cast was revealed.

Real Houses of New York.

I'm pleasantly surprised.

Yeah, Real Houses of New York, not legacy.

This is the new reboot with fresh cast has been revealed.

Cast members are Uba Hassan, Giselle Tank, Erin Leachy, Jenna Lyons, Saida Silva, and Britt Whitfield, as well as Lizzie Savetsky, but she wasn't at BravoCon because of the Jewish holiday.

So I obviously, I feel like a lot of people have known that Lizzie Savetsky is going to be on Brony.

I feel like she was one of the first people cast, and I think maybe some of these girls are her friends.

I think the big shocker for everyone is Jenna Lyons, former president of J.

Crew.

She's like kind of like a fashion icon.

Yeah.

And that's like a pretty good get, honestly.

A pretty good get.

That was the only name that I knew personally, but I think.

Besides Lizzie besides Lizzie, I checked out a lot of the other women.

I think all of them, some of them have followings, they all have premium content.

Yeah, no, I feel I have I feel optimistic, me too, because even though I hadn't heard of them, I did like a little deep dive on what they all do for a living, their husbands, and it was giving rich and it was giving young and it was giving social media.

And I feel like that's kind of a show people have been like begging for from Bravo.

And, you know, the Bravo fandom, like I was reading the comments on Bravo's Instagram, like people are so so negative

because they're used to the OGs.

They're like, bring Sonia back.

Well, Sonia probably is going to be on Legacy.

So like, let's not forget that.

What I did find interesting about this was this was an official, you know,

statement that Leah McSweeney is not a part of the new show.

I feel like there was still some

question as to whether, because she's young and hip and cool.

Well, she said on the toast that she wants to be on legacy.

Of course, those are her friends.

And like, that's going to be, it's going to take a while for this show to get its legs.

A new show is always hard to get off the ground.

So she wants to be with the established girlies.

Yeah.

What I also like about this cast is like, I feel like there were so many names throwing out, so many obvious choices for people who are New York social media young housewives.

But these, for most of us, are all fresh faces.

And I like that they're doing something different and not just like going with like a safe person because they have followers or what.

I would have been happy with some of those choices, but like I'm here for the fact that they didn't go down that route.

Yeah, but I also like that they have like a big name, you know, like they need that.

Yeah, Generalines.

I think that's really cool.

I also think it's so admirable that like, you know, obviously they all went to BravoCon.

They had a picture with Andy.

It was like a big thing.

And Lizzie Savetski didn't go because it's

meeting out Sarah.

Yeah.

I forget which holiday it is.

It's like kind of a niche one that I don't really participate in.

But

That's like hella admirable because like it could be Yom Kippur, but like they want me to be the star of a show.

Like gotta go you know like yeah it's cool she seems uh scrupled I've actually met her she's lovely lovely girl scrupled for sure she's scrupled so that's very cool um I honestly I was ready to like come and be a hater but it seems like they did a pretty good job honestly yeah no I'm optimistic as stated I've Bravo has needed for a while I feel like and we are always the type who are like wipe this like clean need fresh this is bad bad bad so like they're trying something new they actually answered some of the cries of some of the fans.

And so, let's give them the opportunity for to see how it is.

You know, you can't just complain all the time.

No, and Andy did one of the events yesterday.

Was it was actually at the same time as mine.

So, I was like kind of like sad because I'm like, no, it's going to come up to mine.

It was Ask Andy, where basically he just was like, free-for-all, like, whatever you want to know.

Um, and they were talking about Roni.

And, you know, all the people who are at BravoCon are like fans of the OG show, and they're like complaining.

And Andy was like, I hear you, but like, the numbers don't lie.

This was the lowest rated season in Housewives history, not just New York, of all franchises.

Like something had to be done.

And I feel like

Bravo's been on this Housewives journey for like 15 years.

And the people who started watching it, like everyone's aging up in the last 15 years.

And if they want to continue to get new younger

audience members, like they have to evolve a little bit, you know?

Right.

At the end of the day, this is still a business.

You know, and it's not just like what a handful of people want to see on their tv like there's advertisers you need to bring in people who are watching you know a lot of advertisers want to advertise to a certain demographic of people so if all of your audience is a bit older that's not going to bring in the premium dollars like this is a business and we are right the numbers don't lie and i like that he said like pretty much what he's saying is you guys are the reasons why there's no roney as it is anymore because you guys didn't watch By the way, you know what I thought was so interesting?

How Ramona was non-existent in BravoCon?

Do you was she there?

I don't think so.

Maybe it was she was celebrating Shiminiat Sarah.

No, like

a good one.

Let me just check because I was thinking yesterday.

I'm like, where is Ramona?

I feel like.

Oh, no.

She was at

one day ago.

She went to like a party.

Oh, she went to, I'm sorry.

I'm totally wrong.

I'm sorry.

She was there.

Just didn't.

I feel like she wasn't, it looked like she wasn't participating.

I was like consuming content all weekend and I didn't see her even once.

Oh, that's so interesting.

That's so not like Ramona.

Okay, here's some more news that we got some spin-off news.

Luann and Sonia are getting their own spin-off series called Welcome to Crappy Lake, which is set to premiere in 2023.

We knew that they were doing a simple life type show.

Cool.

Teresa and Louie are having a wedding special

following the show's next season.

Lala Kent spilled on her sex life, saying I'm having the best sex of my life, which I mean compared to my old relationship.

I thought you were talking about a spin-off.

No, no, no.

Oh, sorry.

That was.

Leva's spin-off too about Republic.

Yeah, and they they uh aired the trailer for leva's spin-off during the last part of the southern charm reunion which i did watch oh so it was already out i feel like the last bravo con like the big announcements were like kind of huge new yeah new and like these announcements were like kind of like some a lot of them there was already like whispers we kind of already knew the rony cast we knew about luan and leva we knew leva we knew that louis and theresa were having a show i mean that's just common sense but i do feel like this bravo con was so much bigger than the the last one, you know, like especially in terms of like the breadth of people they invited from Bravo.

Like

I wasn't it was a little bit more selective, but like Reza was there.

You thought it was selected.

No, the prior year, I felt like it was way more selective.

Whereas this year, Reza and MJ, who I adore and I'm not complaining, but their show was literally canceled.

You know, like every cast member of Southern Charm, even if they're not main cast members, were there.

Every single person was there.

And I wonder, like, does Bravo pay for all of them to come?

Yes.

I think they pay for everyone's flight and hotel.

I don't think you get paid

to participate.

But if you have a business, you get to have a booth there.

And you make, I mean, it's 10,000 people who bought tickets.

So 10,000 people who are obsessed with you wanting to buy whatever, you know, your Robin's hats or, you know, like,

it's a, it's a, they really, it's a very smart business idea.

Yes.

Then also that I think one of the biggest news from the weekend was Luke from Summerhouse and Ashley Darby like flirting and

holding hands and leaving together out the ship like even if it's just for the night like Ashley Darby deserves to have some fun yeah really cute really cute and of course like the everyone is talking about Teresa and Melissa because separate panels fully on the outs they had to split up the jersey uh panels they did not see each other and then everyone like everyone was staying pretty much at like the same hotel and late night melissa no no what's her name jennifer aiden threw a drink at joe gorger they weren't even filming like real life So, like, shit's bad.

Shit's bad, but I gotta be honest, like, that's not gonna work when you have two cast members who actually can't be in the same room together, won't even do a panel.

And by the way, like, this is like the network's event, like, and they can't do a panel together.

How are they gonna film the next season together?

We can't have a disjointed season where there's like two groups.

It doesn't work.

Like, they're gonna have, for the sake of, like, their jobs, they're gonna have to figure out a way to talk.

Yeah.

Which is also a nice thing about the show because it will force them eventually to talk whereas like if they were both off the show starting from now they would never speak again yeah and that reminds me of kathy and kyle i saw a couple interviews kyle said you know we're sisters like we're we're we're fine like we're working on it and like we're gonna be fine kathy said i will she literally said point blank to an interviewer i will not be returning next season if it's the exact same cast and he was like i assume you mean lisa she said yes so she's literally making an ultimatum between the network and i feel like the network is going to choose Kathy.

I think the network is going to choose Kathy.

I know, but Kathy was being so reasonable.

She was like, by the way, and I know, like, I'm just a friend of, so, like, it doesn't matter.

Right.

But people fuck, like, it's unprecedented how much they love her.

They love her so much.

Myself included.

Lisa Rinna got booed when she was walking on stage, but I feel like that's, you know, Rinna kind of like.

She doesn't mind that.

You know, she's like.

No, I thought she handled it beautifully.

She did.

And she gave everyone the finger and she's laughing it off.

I'm sure somewhere down, like, it does hurt her.

That's my worst thing.

I think for her, like, she'd rather be booed vehemently than be like Paul Ray clapping.

You know what I mean?

Like, she likes to have an impact, but it is kind of like sad.

And so you could see Lisa Rena is not beloved right now.

And Kathy Hilton is unprecedented.

They did the conga line for her at the Direc TV party.

Like.

Yes.

No, Kathy.

And by the way, the thing I love most about Kathy Hilton, it happened to me this morning.

Like every couple of days, she like stalks me and she likes every single one of the posts that she missed since the last time.

She's so supportive.

That's so amazing.

And another tidbit, I have to shout out to Bryce Sander, who works at Entertainment Tonight.

Like he was a correspondent on the carpet.

And every clip that I saw that was like full of pertinent information, he was talking to this person.

He was asking impertinent questions.

Yeah, because on the first night, he was like, you know, Andy, there's like a million conspiracy theories that like the big announcement this year is like you're retiring and Craig Conover is taking over for you.

I saw that.

And Andy was like, um, no.

And even if I was, like, why Craig?

Like, I love Craig, but he's not one of our, you know, he's not known as one of our best correspondents.

Right.

And he's like, no, I'm not retiring.

And honestly, I have felt like in the last couple of years, Andy's enthusiasm for his job has

gone down a little bit.

But I felt like he was, like, he had the best weekend of his life.

Like everything I saw, he was having so much fun.

He really did, like, he did the most this weekend.

I felt like his, he has a reinvigorated love for what he does.

Yeah, that's nice to see.

He also, Andy said that there's no Kathy Hilton meltdown footage.

He said, you know, that I'm a shade assassin.

I'm going to want to show it.

If I was having a producer,

if the footage was on a producer phone, we would show it.

Trust me.

Yeah, no, I believe that they don't have any footage, but that's unacceptable.

Yeah, also, Kyle Cook revealed his Bravo Hall pass.

He said, I'm going to go super controversial on this one.

Maybe Naomi from Southern Charm.

That's like a little too close to

Rome.

Yeah, I agree.

But you know what?

Her and Amanda kind of look like.

So Amanda can take that as a compliment is that he still wants Amanda.

I guess.

You know, but still, that's like kind of weird.

They asked some like really weird questions.

I just saw a clip of Erica Jane.

Someone, they asked, like, who's going to be the next couple to split up?

And she said, first she didn't want to answer.

And then she said, Dorit and PK.

But you also have to think of who are the couples on the show?

Kyle and Mauricio, Crystal and Rob,

Doreed and PK.

Here's a personal

of Doreed.

I went over, let me tell you, I went over to Kyle right before the panel.

I was like, hey, girly, I'm your moderator.

And she was like, hi.

And then Dorit was there and Dorit's hoop earring fell out.

And Kyle was like, Dorit, she was wearing like this huge poofy skirt.

She's like, Dorit, your earring's on the floor.

You're about to step on it.

So, you know, I'm a young, able-bodied girly, and she was wearing like this huge ball gown.

So I bent down.

I didn't, she didn't ask.

I just bent down, picked up her earring, and gave it to her.

When I tell you, she did not even look me in the eyes or say thank you.

I'm like, oh my God.

It was like,

but it wasn't rude.

She like,

like, thank you are the words you're looking for, Wench.

I did see Karen Huger, too, and I was like, just about to defend her.

I'm just about to defend her marriage.

No, I'm sure her marriage is fine, but rude.

Isn't that rude?

Yeah.

Thank you.

Like, I just bent down.

You didn't even ask me.

I don't even know you.

I picked up your earring.

That's rude.

Rude.

And I'm guessing that Erica and Doreed Doreet aren't chummy currently based on.

I didn't see them together.

I saw them both separately.

Dorit and Kyle are totally best friends.

Like you can tell they were together, even though they weren't on the same panel.

They were walking around together.

But it's just like everyone came with their own posse and it was like literally like standoffs.

Like it was so interesting.

It's so interesting.

Even like there was that one night where everyone was on stage and it just like turns into like this big like Jerry ego.

So it's like Jerry Springer.

Like they're all just like, oh, and it's like, but everyone there like thinks that they're the star of this show.

And like everyone's like so dressed to the 90s and so intense.

Like the stakes are so high and they're also like shading each other and it's like nonsense shade.

It's like a circus.

It's a circus.

It is.

I am looking forward to the Watch Reapons Live specials that they taped because I think those episodes are really good and fun.

Yeah.

Caroline Manzo was there.

That's like another example of like how wide they cast the net.

Yeah.

So it was a, you know, a very eventful weekend.

I think Bravo put on a great

event.

I think people have heard a lot of fun.

Story was that like the people who had bought tickets were complaining about the way that it was run.

There was like some footage that was out and then people were comparing it to Fire Festival, which is one of my least favorite comparisons because like Blink 182 never took the stage at Fire Festival, yet like all of these panels did go off.

But they were really long lines for the bathroom.

There was like a lot of chaos, I think, for people who who bought tickets.

So that's also been a lot of fun.

A long line for the bathroom.

That's not something to complain about.

Like, it's annoying for sure.

Anytime I go to a Broadway play, anytime I go to a sports game, like it's really annoying.

It's not inhumane.

And that's not fire festival at all.

And I walked around yesterday and it seemed like they really, like, they had a million people working there.

I didn't experience it for three days, so I don't know.

for a fact, but it looked like it was pretty well put together.

Yeah, it was just like people said, quote, waiting in lines for panels only for there to be stampedes in, no chairs, people camping out all day to not let others in, no use of the RFID bands.

It's a shit show.

And a video game

user shows like hordes of Bravo fans racing forward and ducking under barriers at the entrance on Friday.

That sounds like the chaos is because of the attendees, not because of Bravo.

Right.

Like it said Bravo had stanchions and a line and nobody followed it.

That's

like Bravo can't make people act.

Behave.

Right.

Yeah.

They had stanchions.

Right.

There was a line for a reason.

Like, they knew there was going to be a lot of people.

So that's, like, kind of not their fault.

I will never remember the word stanchion.

I know, I can't.

I think I just did.

No, you said it.

I know.

I said it can't be.

It's like not in my vocabulary and it like refuses to enter.

I understand.

Like, you could ask me tomorrow, like, what are the things that they had to snake?

Oh,

ask me tomorrow and I won't know the word.

Fab.

See you tomorrow.

See you tomorrow.

Okay, so that's your BravoCon recap.

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

Yeah, truly.

Next up, the big news of the weekend: Haley Bieber poses with Selena Gomez weeks after addressing rumors that she, quote, stole Justin Bieber.

So Haley Bieber is keeping an eye out for Selener at the Academy

Museum of Motion Pictures' second annual.

Museum.

Yeah, museum.

Second annual gala on Saturday night in LA.

So not only did they take this one picture together, there's like multiple pictures.

There's a hug.

There's a hug.

The way that, like, it's not just one stage photo, it's like once they're sitting, once they're standing, one, um, Selena has her hand around Haley's thigh.

Yep.

Like, the way that it's multiple photos, like, I'm so overjoyed.

And what's so funny, do you remember this event from last year?

We have to watch this episode from last year because we were like, what the fuck is this?

And that was where Kaya Gerber went with Jacob Oliver.

Jacob Awarding.

We were like, what is this random event?

Why is it literally the Met Gala?

Why is it so A-list?

Why is everyone looking so fashionable in Sweden?

And now this year, everyone again is like, what is this event?

It's the second annual fabulous event for fabulous people and a fabulous press-up for Kaya Gerber.

I think the Gerbers put on the event so that Kaya can always have an amazing moment because

she's two for two.

100%.

It looked so fabulous.

Of course, the Selena thing eclipsed the entire event.

And I'm so glad.

And I really hope that anyone who's ever said the the words Jelena in the last five years officially shuts the fuck up.

Yeah.

And I hope this is the thing to do.

And I don't know what more could be done aside from like Selena, you know, saying a whole thing, but I think that would also just like stir it up and make it more real.

So I think them just like being girls, taking pictures, they clearly had more than just that one moment.

They had a conversation and they seem to be happy and enjoying each other's company.

And you love to see that.

I'm so happy about this.

Like, I really can't put it into words.

Like, I know it's not plausible that they would ever become like really good friends, but like they're just like making peace.

But I just, I love these two so much.

And I think it's an, they're like, you know, um,

what's the word?

Setting, a fabulous example for young women.

I love these two with my whole heart and I'm, I'm thrilled.

I'm overjoyed.

Yes, nature is healing.

Nature is healing.

And they both looked absolutely stunning.

Just really gorgeous.

Really, really gorgeous.

So hopefully we'll be seeing Selena in in Haley Bieber's bathroom.

Etc., etc.

Totally.

Not anytime soon, but you never know.

We got to start somewhere.

And you know where I'm going to start?

Where?

With Thumba.

Thumma, Thumma, Thumma.

Let me be your Thumba.

Thumma, Thuma, Thumma.

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Okay, our next story.

Megan Thee Stallion says she's got to take a break following her home burglary.

So Megan Thee Stallion performed on SNL this weekend and while she was in New York, her home was burglarized.

What the fuck?

Thieves took off with $300,000 to $400,000 in cash, electronics, and jewelry.

Police have not made an arrest yet, but they do have video footage of the incident.

So she wrote on Twitter saying material things can be replaced, but I'm glad everyone is safe.

Hottis, I'm really sorry, but after SNL, I really got to take a break.

I'm so tired physically and emotionally.

Oh my God.

What the fuck?

Like, because I was just watching the Bling Ring documentary.

It just feels like...

Very prevalent in my mind right now.

Like, what the fuck?

Like, why can't people stop robbing other people?

Like, go leave everyone fucking alone.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That is so sad because it's not, it's not about the material item.

Celebrities have insurance and of course, whatever.

The sense of peace that gets robbed from you when someone invades your home and the fear it instills in you is so crippling.

And nobody feels bad for you because you're a celebrity, but like I do, because I'm a human being.

And I think like if you're, if you're ever inclined to rob someone's house, like you're fucking delusional.

Stop.

Stop.

Right.

And also I feel like, you know, we talk about this, the news cycle moves on, but this person like lives with this trauma

for a very long time.

And nobody cares to acknowledge it because, like, you know, you think celebrities don't deserve rights because they're rich.

Like, that's the culture.

Like, oh, they're fine.

They'll just, you know, get more security and buy another thing.

And it's not about that.

No, it's not about that.

Anyways, I'm glad she's taking a break if she needs one.

Normalize taking breaks when you're at the height of your career.

Like, it's okay.

We will all still be here waiting and be fans when you come back.

I know.

I just feel like when you're part of that hustle culture, you get such bad anxiety because like staying relevant is the key to your success.

And so like taking time off and stepping back from the spotlight is literally like the scariest thing you can do, I think, when you're building your career.

Oh, for sure.

But

if you are like supremely talented, the cream always rises and like you'll be back doing your thing in no time.

And you just have to like trust in yourself that you could do that.

But you also like can't get to where you need to be if you are running on no fuel.

No, and Meg thee Stallion, I think is like a mainstay.

I think she'll be like in history, one of the biggest female rappers of all time.

Exactly.

So she could take a break.

She can take a break.

And we will all still be here ready and waiting when she's ready to come back.

I was asleep during her SNL, so I didn't get to watch, but I heard rave reviews, and she did both.

I think people who can do both are so, it's like such a flex.

It's such a flex.

Those are like the coolest episodes.

It's like 100% yours.

Yeah, no, it's just like cool.

Like, yeah, I'm known for my singing, but like I can be funny and act and read off a cue card.

Like it's such a...

Why?

Reading off a cue card is hard.

I was saying that seriously.

Okay.

It is hard.

It would be easier to memorize it, honestly.

Like cue cards, you have to look at the camera, but then also at your cue card.

That's true.

That was not me being shady.

I'm sorry.

No, I was not knocking that.

It is a true talent to like act while reading a cue card.

I just think it's like such a flex on all the other hosts.

Like, it's the coolest thing.

Yeah.

But I think that moment is ruined a bit when your home is burglarized because you like it.

Just a tad.

Just a tad.

Just a tad.

But I'm glad she's taking a break and more people should take breaks.

Maybe she could call Harry Styles and let him know that we're taking breaks.

Gotta take a break.

My policeman, HSLOT.

You know who finally took a break after Ariana Grande.

Yeah, she took a very nice long break.

And look, we're so ready for her whenever she's.

There was a two, three year process where like she would not take a break and she was going through so much in her personal life and it was really sad to watch.

And she was breaking down on stage and she just would not stop.

It's like someone let this girl take a nap.

She got married and finally took a nap and I feel like she's been like off the radar for like over a year and I feel like it's so good for her.

And she does REM beauty.

She does

voice,

but yeah, but it's like low-key stuff that lets her sleep in her own bed at night.

Right.

And that's also different than doing like an album and a tour at the same time.

And I feel like it's been so good for her.

I feel like she's also working on Wicked Rehearsals right now, which is in LA and she gets to still be at home with her husband.

She has like a really good work-life balance.

Yeah.

I can't talk about wicked because it's coming out in far

way too far and in two parts.

So, like, I don't even want to get my hopes up.

Okay, we don't have to talk about that, but something I just wanted to say is, you know, once every year, I am reminded that Ariana Grande is married.

Like, it's so random, and I always forget.

I always remember.

It's like always one of the first things I remember about her.

I don't know why.

I think it's hard because he's like a nobody, you know, which is great.

Which is great.

You love a businessman, Bo.

Speaking of marriage, are you ready for our next story?

Yes.

Robert Kraft marries Dana Blumberg in star-studded surprise wedding.

He's added

another ring.

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft married Dr.

Dana Blumberg in a star-studded surprise wedding in New York City on Friday night.

Page six has learned.

The billionaire and 47, 81-year-old billionaire and 47-year-old doctor invited guests to a kickoff and a touchdown party at the Hall de Lumière in lower Manhattan and told them to dress festively, but did not disclose that they'd be tying the knot.

So people came to this party, not knowing what to expect.

Turns out it is a wedding.

They had it.

Like being rich is so sick.

Yeah.

A few fun facts.

One, Elton John performed and they had met Elton John a few years ago.

And like Elton had said, like, whenever you guys do get married, I would like to perform for you as a gift.

And so then Elton gave them a few dates that like worked for him.

And that's how they chose.

Not them planning their whole wedding around Elton John.

Right.

They also had it at the Hall de Lumiere, which right now is showing the Gustave Klimpt exhibition, which is the woman woman in gold.

You know her?

Is that supposed to mean something to me?

Yeah, you haven't seen the movie The Woman in Gold?

No.

One thing about me is like, I know nothing about art.

Do you know the story about the woman in gold?

I'm assuming it was a woman who wore gold.

Okay,

let me give you just a brief synopsis because it's a good story.

So Klimt is an artist, and The Woman in Gold is one of his pieces.

A prominent Jewish family commissioned it in the

like over 100 years ago and it passed down through their family.

But then when the Nazis took over, they stole that piece of art.

After the war, the family

took the trial to try and get their art back.

That's a picture of literally their aunt, Adele, and it's theirs.

They bought it.

Oh, you know what?

This does sound familiar.

Helen Mirin, it plays the survival daughter.

And so Climpt is the artist who made that piece, and his exhibition is at.

is displaying right now in lower New York.

So the whole, they rented out the exhibition for five days.

So then the the whole wedding like was surrounded in climp stuff.

That's beautiful.

Beautiful.

It's a great movie.

Check it out.

You know what's so funny about this wedding is like, obviously you see them.

He's like 1,000 years old and she's like this vivacious blonde.

Like she is almost 50.

Like it's like not that crazy.

No, it's not that crazy.

And she's a doctor.

She's like New York's top optimization.

Right.

She's not like a harlot.

Right.

It's not what you think you are looking at.

It's like kind of like a really appropriate marriage.

And robotic.

And when you look at them, you don't see it because she's like blonde and like really fit.

And like, she looks 25.

Right.

But no, they're.

It's like kind of romantic, yeah.

It's really.

If I wanted to do a surprise wedding, I'd be like, hi guys, I'm throwing a party.

Like no one would come.

That's the thing.

And I'd be like, wait, no, it's my wedding.

And then they'll be like, oh, yeah, sure, I'll come.

You know what I mean?

Right.

No, but he must throw a great party.

Right.

Tom Tom Brady was

no Giselle.

Yeah.

Solo.

It's like, it's real.

Like, I know.

I'm accepting it in my own time.

I've just, yeah, I've just entered the stage of acceptance.

Yeah, which is good.

And I think this slow, I don't think they intentionally did it this way, but like this slow rollout is giving me time to process as opposed to if they just all of a sudden one day put out a statement, I would be like, what?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like shock.

Yeah.

Shock and awe.

Yeah.

So really sweet.

Wedding news.

Happy for you.

Know that I am.

Are you ready for a fifth and final story, which is like some confusing divorce news?

Yes.

So people put out a story yesterday that uh it wasn't just people but there was like an official report it went to every outlet monique samuels and her husband chris samuels are divorcing period like no questions asked i was so upset when i saw it like i literally wanted to cry for the samuelses but then monique and Chris went on Instagram and appeared to hit back at rumors that they were splitting after 10 years of marriage.

She flashed their wedding bans in the video that she posted.

She said that she had just gotten back from hiking all day and then turned to to Chris and asked, Chris, what do you have to say about all this?

And he said, shop Mila Eve in response, referring to Monique's

store.

Then Monique flashes her wedding ring directly.

Shop Mila Eve.

That's funny.

That is funny.

Directly in front of the camera.

Counter hijacking?

That's so us.

No, so us.

But then she says, no better source than the actual source.

Y'all already know how I roll.

I give my own damn exclusives.

And then she prompted fans to tune into her YouTube show Monday evening.

Okay, I'm like, glad they're not divorced, but like, I do feel like they might have been like

poking us like like this is giving PR I feel like they might be trying to just save the announcement till their show tonight on YouTube because

oh I mean I guess we'll find out tonight we'll find out tonight I feel like I'll be so upset because they're not like they're just flashing their rings like and they're saying they're kind of like joking about it but they didn't say explicitly like

we're never

together in their house chilling like married people do yeah divorced people don't don't act like that most of the time.

Right.

I, I mean, I'll be so upset.

I will be heartbroken.

I will be so upset.

The way that like I feel like they are literally picture perfect American family.

Like, please, no.

Please, no.

First ch'Cchala and now this.

No.

No, we can't handle it.

I hope that tonight's Monday YouTube is just a fun.

Nothing mean it literal, like mindless episode of whatever it is that they do on their YouTube channel.

Yeah, not them just pushing up the news till they can announce it themselves because she said I give my own damn exclusives.

Oh, I didn't see it like that, but like it's just an alternative way of thinking about it.

I feel like it's fine.

Like I feel like they're totally fine.

Like I believe in love.

Me too.

Me too.

And that's just a little bit about me.

Well, those are the fast five stories.

Feel as though you needed to know them.

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Great.

Okay, so the morning after the king dies, and it's like all hell has broken loose, they're being so fucking evil, the high towers, like locking everyone in their rooms, trying to come up with a plan so that Rhiniera doesn't find out that he's dead and they can successfully usurp the throne before sunrise.

Yes.

Only problem: the king cannot be found.

Right.

What did the little boy run and tell his mom?

I believe that the king was dead.

But Allison knew.

No?

He didn't tell his mom.

He told the snitch, Talia.

And then Talia went to go tell him.

Got it.

Got it.

That's what I think.

Or maybe that, like, his,

that Aegon wasn't there, like, where's dad?

You know,

oh, that's good, too.

I don't think it really matters.

I was just like, waiting, I thought it was like Aegon did something horrible, or I thought maybe it was a flashback to a young Aegon.

Like, I didn't know because the episode just started with that little kid.

It was a little confusing.

I don't think there's anything more to it, but I just didn't know, like, what was being told.

So, no, you know what it was?

You're right.

Your first thing was right.

He told Talia that the king is dead because then Talia told Allison and the spy master

a whore bad actress

bad actress worse than ever last night worse than ever even though I did appreciate her mission that

ring of child fighters sharpening their teeth and their fingernails that was horrible and Aegon is really really sick really really sick and he is bastards all over town I so agree in one moment I was like oh my god what are these like child abusers doing in King's Landing and then in the next moment like she's advocating for them them.

And I was like, thank you.

Queen.

Queen.

Queen.

No.

And it's like a.

And if Otto goes back on it, like, not that I have anything left to give to him, but like.

His word means nothing, honestly.

Yeah.

The way that Aegon does not want to be king, would be a horrible king.

And everyone knows how sick, twisted, unethical, and disgusting he is.

Yet we're all bending over backwards, like killing all these nice people just so Aegon could take the throne is so stupid to me.

I hate the fucking high towers.

Allicent, at least like

expresses she has a conscience.

Yeah.

She's not all evil.

I actually think she's like struggling with all of this.

Yeah.

I think that here's what I, regardless of if the Saris was said what he said before he died, the high Otto and his crew

were doing it anyway.

So that's good to know.

It didn't change that much.

The only thing it changed was Allison's participation.

Because if he hadn't said that, she would have been going to bat for Rainiera.

But since he said that, she's on the fence.

You know, I know it's episode nine and we should have done this from the beginning, but I'd like to crown a weenie of the week every week because last night it was Sir Kristen.

The way I hate this fucking loser, the way he killed that guy for speaking facts, speaking motherfucking facts and being the only person in the room with ethics and morals.

I hate Sir Kristen Cole so much.

He's obsessed with Allison.

He's such a power loser.

First, it was Rainera.

he's no

pussy whipped he definitely has some like mommy issues yes because he doesn't have a mind of his own and he's so fanatic and extreme like get a life loser so extreme it's like calm down it's not that decent

yeah no he's such a loser like even the way like a couple episodes ago he started that fight um with the haronhall guy in the yard over the prince like he's such a loser i'm so glad also they recast Aegon again, right?

This is our first time meeting this Aegon.

No.

He was there last week?

Yeah.

I had the other Aegon, though, like two episodes ago.

The one who was jerking off two episodes ago into the window?

Yes, yes.

That's it.

No, I think we saw this guy last week.

That's what I was expecting to see under the table.

No, that guy looked like kind of familiar, like I'd seen him before.

Okay, okay, good.

The only the good news is, though, about Aegon is like he's the only one keeping us from Aymond on the throne.

I know.

I thought Amond was going to kill Aegon.

Amond would be worse than Aegon.

Aimond is a Joffrey.

Yeah, I think Aemond is evil and I think Aegon is stupid.

I also know I like that Viseris is being called Viseris the peaceful because that is what he was.

That is what he was.

Even though I did feel like the second he got crowned, me and Ben were like guessing.

I thought he was like going to kill himself because like this is his worst nightmare come true.

But then when he heard people cheering for him,

it's addicted.

yeah.

I just don't believe that the people in King's Landing give a fuck about who the king is.

Like they're all like,

I felt like when they were cheering, like they don't care.

They do not care.

And they say this all the time in Game of Thrones that like they don't care.

Like it's all these like seven kingdoms who are warring with each other for a seat that doesn't change the lives of the people whatsoever.

But you know, I think they like were forced into this place.

It turns into a pretty good concert.

Hey, we have a new king.

Rah-rah.

He seems excited.

We're excited.

And I was like, damn, this is addictive like uh what's his face is about to have like a power trip and then yadanti came through

yadanti

i bet

the way i take back every negative thing i've ever said about her Because now, obviously, she's hopping on her dragon to go alert Rainira about what's gone down.

The only thing that was missing was a little Tracaris on these hose.

I know.

She could have ended it all right.

I know.

But you know what?

That would have been exactly what she was advocating against because she's not evil.

no but she told allison like obviously you can't kill rainira and her children if she killed allison and her children she's just as bad as what she was trying to avoid so she would never count

it was a really good episode given the fact that rainira and damon were not even in it and i didn't even get to see my boyfriend last night like that was upsetting

but it was good nonetheless it was really good only because yet auntie came through no that's the thing about aunties like you can always count on them yeah and you might count them out but they're always

count out the countess.

They're always going to be with there for you.

I wasn't entirely sure

whether, I think they wanted us to guess for a second if it was going to be Raines or Rainiera.

I don't know how Rainiera would have found out.

No, but they showed her hustling down the stairs.

Right.

And when she looks up, when she's in the crowd, I think she realized they're going to the dragon pit.

And she was like, thank you.

You're taking me exactly where I wanted to go to get my baby boy.

Like, remember when she's being like with the mob and she looks up to see the street that they're on?

I didn't know why she was smiling, but me too.

She knew right then.

She found her handler.

She knew right then and there, they're going to the dragon pit.

I can get my, my dragon.

Okay, and let's talk about those two brothers, like, the one that bailed out Raynis and the two

obsessed, but like, my God, do they suck at their job?

Like, literally, he lost Raynis in the first four seconds of getting her out of the castle.

Oh, yeah, but in the previews for next week, which is not a spoiler, because they're at war now, and Rainira and Damon are in the episode.

The brother who refused to

save Aegon

goes to Rhae Niera's side.

Pledges filty.

No, and like when they hanged that man who was trying to escape and go tell Rainiera, like it was giving like North Korea.

Yeah, that was quite upsetting.

That was upsetting.

Especially because it's like when the other guys, like they stood their ground and they were like, we stand with Rainiera, the two people who did.

And it's like, well, what if one of you just like pretended to and then went back to the other side?

And it's like, oh, that's what he did.

That's what would happen.

Okay.

Now we know.

Literally.

Laris is literally fucking disgusting.

Littlefinger.

I hate him.

He needs to be the first to die.

The thief.

That was new.

That was new.

But you had to,

it makes sense.

He's giving, he's doing all this shit for her.

Why?

Right, right.

No, he's a fucking freak.

He's a fucking freak.

Such a good episode, but like, need my girly back.

Like, Rainira, Damon, where are you?

Also, the daughter wife

is like a prophet.

You know, you see that.

She said there's a benefice, a beast, beast beneath the boards.

Yes.

Apparently, in the other episodes that she was in, she was like saying a bunch of stuff that didn't make sense to us, but they were all like prophecies.

She like knows shit.

What does there's a beast beneath the floor mean?

Raines?

Rainise and her beast.

Got it, got it.

Like, when he was literally beneath the boards.

Oh,

so pay attention to whatever she's saying.

Got it.

Okay, sister/slash wife.

Also, the Railhouse says the Potomac was on last night.

Quite literally, nothing happened except the way that Ashley and Giselle are being so fucking dramatic.

I definitely thought it was weird that he sent the message.

And then once I found out he worked there, I'm like, that's not weird.

I've got to be honest, I didn't watch because I was immensely enjoying my book.

And I was like, this is you missed nothing.

I'm sure it'll be a great season, but like it's a super slow build.

Basically, Ashley was posting that she was out all night.

And when she woke up the next morning, she had a message from Chris

Bassett.

Wait, is it Bassett?

Bissette?

Bissette, right?

Because when I say Chris Bassett, and then I say Candace Dillard, Bissette.

Right.

Good call.

And when I introduced her at BravoCon last night, I said Candace Dillard, Bassett, Potomac Barbie.

She looked so cute.

I saw.

Whatever.

He had sent a message like, you should have come to the W.

And that's like a weird message to send your wife's friend at three in the morning.

But he just took over as the general manager of like their club there.

He's trying to make it like cool and he's trying to get all of Candace's friends to come.

So like, it's not weird.

So Ashley like brought it up and was trying to make it a thing.

And then Giselle was like, you know, last year at the reunion when we broke for like snack, he came into my dressing room and I was all alone and I was really uncomfortable and he was just complaining about his wife.

And Robin was like, did he touch you or do anything?

She's like, no.

And Robin was like,

so you're just being dramatic.

Like there, Rob was actually proud of Robin for getting her head out of Giselle's ass for two seconds to being like, you're being so fucking dramatic.

Like, they're trying to make it a thing.

It's not a thing.

And this is not my newfound Candace Dillard beset Stanhood.

It's just facts.

Like, stop being dramatic.

Yeah.

That was the only thing that happened.

Then they went and did a dance class with Cherise.

And I just fucking hate Cherise.

Cherise is back.

Yeah.

And they like,

she keeps trying to like have lunch with, Karen Huger, and Karen Huger is not interested.

And all the ladies are saying it's because like Cherise has like some big T on Karen.

And I'm just not interested.

I'm not looking for anyone to expose Karen.

Like, she's America's sweetheart.

Like, leave her alone.

Yeah, leave her alone.

Everyone tries to come for Karen.

It's like people who come into Beverly Hills and they just go for Sutton.

Like,

it's not going to work.

It's not going to work for the fans.

And it's just not going to work for you.

So, those were the TV recaps.

Right?

Yeah.

You caught up on Tell Me Lies?

I did.

I did.

I found this episode to be particularly dreadful.

Yes, my patience with the show is wearing.

And there's only two more episodes left.

How are we going to wrap it all up?

I'm glad we got a villain origin story from Pippa a little bit because she was pissing me the fuck off by being such a loser, wannabe, like pick-me girl.

Yeah.

Like when she was like, ironically, like about the movie, she's just like kind of like a loser.

Yeah, that's it.

That's her truth.

She is.

Yeah.

I like her.

That's her truth.

And I

understand.

I'm team Pippa as opposed to Lucy.

I mean, Lucy's like my least favorite person, aside from Steven.

I know.

I know.

I'm just like so over the show.

Like, I'm not invested in anyone's relationship except for Bri and Evan.

And we didn't even get Bri and Evan content.

What do we want, Brevin?

When do we want it now?

And we know that they get married, so great.

Everyone else can, like, fuck off.

Fuck off.

Though I do hope Wrigley could find love too because he really loves Pippa.

And I hope

she needs to find herself is the thing.

Like maybe.

I think she struggles with her sexuality a little bit.

Yeah, and like just knowing like who she is and what she wants.

But Wrigley like loves so purely and so passionately and he deserves a nice girl.

I love him.

Yeah.

Me too.

And he's like not, he doesn't have a mean bonus in his body, whereas everyone around him is like plotting.

He's just living his life doing football.

with the bros.

Trying his best, trying to look after his brother.

Trying to look after his brother.

So another episode of that this week, part two of the Beverly Hills Reunion, which we will talk about

on Wednesday.

And Kardashians.

So Potomac.

And Winterhouse premiered.

I'm not watching.

I may watch the first episode to see if I'm feeling anything.

We shall see.

I don't think I'm going to watch.

I'm feeling good about where I'm at, like with my content.

That's good.

I'm happy for you.

So that's our show.

Thank you so much for listening to The Toast, The Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the past five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you are watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found.

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Jacquesque, have an amazing day.

Love you dearly, and I'll see you tomorrow.

Love you.

Talk to you in five minutes.

100%.

Talk to you guys tomorrow.

Love you.

Bye.