S5 Ep121: E! For Embarrassment: Monday, August 29th, 2022

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Monday.

Hope everyone had an amazing, refreshing, rejuvenating, and relaxing weekend.

Hey, Jax, how you doing?

I'm darn good.

My weekend was all of those things, I think, except for the fact that I pulled my back out on

Friday night into Saturday morning in my slumber, and it's still not 100%.

And like trying to be a mom with a tweaked neck and back is really challenging.

And I'm just like Zoolander.

Like I can't turn all the way.

Zach keeps making fun of me, but it's also forcing my posture to be impeccable.

Like I've just been sitting like this because I can't move my neck down.

And that's really took over my weekend.

There are honestly few things worse in this life than throwing your back out.

Not only is it beyond painful, but you're also useless.

Useless.

Like on Saturday, I really couldn't like pick Harry up out of the crib.

I could hold him like sometimes, but really useless.

Yesterday was better.

It just hurts, but you got to power through.

No, I fucking like

some of the lowest moments of my life are when my back is thrown out.

And I keep forgetting to take Advil, you know, I'm just so busy.

Like I should have taken it this morning.

I should have taken it last night.

And I just keep forgetting.

So I'm just in pain.

I'm so sorry that that happened to you.

But you know, what the Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away as well.

Because the Lord giveth on Thursday night, at least for me, I haven't even spoken to you about this.

I got home from my show in Red Bank, which was amazing.

Thank you to everyone who showed up.

And my YouTube plaque had arrived.

Has yours arrived yet?

No.

You know, with this move, you are like a couple days behind shipping-wise.

Like when I got my Jessica Simpson roller skates from Jessica Simpson herself, yours came like a few days later.

Yeah.

Ooh, that's so rough.

Well, I'm glad you got yours first.

I'm, and I'm very patient as a person.

So if anyone has to be on the delay, I'm glad that it's me.

I saw that you got yours, but I wasn't even like, where is mine?

Like, I know mine will be here.

It will.

You have to trust in the universe and trust in UPS that your packages will be delivered.

Yeah, so we got our hundred thousand subscribers, YouTube plaque.

It was a huge,

a huge moment.

It wasn't one of those things that you anticipate and then it finally happens, and it's like, wah, wah, wah.

I keep walking back into the living room, looking at it, marveling at us, at our business, at our mogul energy.

And it's just a constant reminder.

And once I have it framed and hung on my wall, it will be a constant reminder that like we are

amazing.

Yeah, that's always nice to be reminded of that.

Also, we keep, we actually stopped trying to remember to say this on the show, but I just want to

mention something that a few weeks ago, we hit a different milestone of 900 episodes.

Oh, I know.

We keep forgetting.

The day that it was the 900th, like right after we remembered and we were like, fuckity fuck.

But we are in the 900s, which means that in a few months, we will have our 1,000th episode.

And I don't know what happens once you've done 1,000 episodes of a podcast.

Like, does someone tape your mouth shut?

Right.

But I look forward to finding out.

And it's just fucking crazy.

I think once you hit a thousand episodes, you automatically get canceled.

No, I think that happens at like 100, like the first 50.

If you can survive like the first 50.

I am curious, though,

who else in the podcasting space has hit a thousand episodes?

Joe Rogan or Joe Rogan.

Yeah, he has because his episodes are numbered and they're like 3,300.

Right, right.

So I'm wondering who else?

Because most people do weekly.

Yeah, and it'd have to be someone who's been around doing this for really for years because Joe Rogan started in 2011.

What about the daily

Times?

Let me Google it.

They're always like above us in the charts and it makes me hate the New York Times.

That's what makes you hate the New York Times.

And the anti-Semitism, for sure.

That'll do it.

But honestly, the charts, it's number of episodes, 1,598.

Damn.

Okay, I think it's definitely a very short list.

And

I hope one day, Beruchashem will be on it.

Yeah, that's very exciting for us.

So sorry we didn't get to acknowledge the milestone with, you know, a party, maybe some balloons, like we did our 700th episode.

We also forgot to acknowledge our 800th.

Yeah, we're just weird about like what we choose to acknowledge 700 because we realized it the day before we got right it's not not it's not even a choice it's just circumstance yeah but I do think once we hit a thousand and it will be in a while because we still have to do a hundred episodes which takes us about I think five months um

once we hit a thousand I really we should have a party we're like one of those sitcoms that hits a hundred episodes you know oh my god totally and then they get syndicated and they all get a cake yeah and they all get big checks I guess I guess maybe we should get ourselves cakes I'll send you one you send me one um so other than that like my whole weekend kind of revolved around the plaque.

You know, it was like, what does the plaque want to do today?

Does the plaque want to go out to lunch?

Does the plaque want to go shopping?

What did the plaque want to do?

Just lay in bed.

And so I had no choice.

I laid in bed the whole weekend.

I read.

I watched TV.

It was very relaxing.

I did not leave my house until yesterday.

And that was simply out of necessity because I'm going on a trip for Labor Day weekend and your girly has not one thing to wear.

And so I had to get some clothing.

And then I got home.

And something I've been meaning to do for like a really long time, I did, which was was clean out my closet.

And I'm, I'm really good about like cleaning out my closet every couple of months.

This time I had waited like so long.

When I tell you, I felt like I got out of a soul cycle class when I was done, like driplets of sweat dripping down my face, neck, ass crack.

I got like 10 garbage bags full of donations.

It felt so good.

And now I walk into my closet and I feel joy.

I really do.

I love that.

I'm so happy for you.

Thank you.

And everyone was like, you're organizing and cleaning out because you're moving.

No, I'm not.

You guys, don't push her.

Don't push her.

You won't like what you're going to see.

You have to know.

I feel like by now you know our personalities, our predilections.

Predilections.

And you guys have to know not to push Claudia.

She has to come to everything on her own.

I couldn't push her into watching Downton Abbey.

I couldn't push her into reading.

I just have to make a light suggestion and let the chips fall.

Where they may.

Totally.

So no plans currently.

Just, I appreciate an organized home, you know?

That we know.

The sweeper never stops the sweeper never stops like oh you like something you better watch it because i'm gonna throw it out if i don't like it yeah no oh you didn't use it for five minutes garbage yeah no that's what i do oh you haven't worn the shirt in a week probably better off donated you don't need it you don't need it um

i had one more thing to say well first of all we have such it's gonna be a nice long episode oh my god because literally the world did not stop turning we were so much

had to bump a story till tomorrow yeah which is good there was a lot of like you know jv stories that will be for tomorrow's episode if nothing else comes up, but there's so much.

I actually, I think it was Liz Height posted on her Instagram story that like the publicists got back to work this week.

Yeah.

And now

everyone's back from summer break.

There's stories and our cup runneth over.

I'm so excited.

And it's Monday, which means everyone is going to be able to unburden themselves in the UB segment.

And last night was the second episode of House of the Dragon, the Game of Thrones prequel.

I watched it.

And of course, I love watching it, but I love watching it with the anticipation of knowing we're going to slay this recap.

Yeah, I just want to say, now that we're talking about it, two things.

Like, you were very right about one thing, and then I was right about one thing, but I was very wrong about something.

I was wrong about Otto Hightower.

Nefarious, nefarious as fuck.

I don't know why last episode I thought that he was fine.

I thought he was neutral.

Like, not what was I right about?

You were right that Damon actually might be

one of the good ones.

He's Jackie.

He's like Josh and Ben.

Good guys.

He loves me like you should one.

Like you wrote the singer girl one.

The kind you find when you don't even look.

Everybody wants a good one.

He's good all the time.

Tell him, sis.

He's one of the good ones.

And he's all mine.

That was not your best.

I'm going to be honest.

I feel like Gabby Barrett and I don't have the same pitch.

What can you do?

Speaking of good guys,

there's a new episode of Josh and Ben's podcast, and there's like some drama.

Like, leave it to them, second episode, like starting drama.

Um, because as last week, we teased there was like a really big interview coming up.

Just go listen to the episode, they explain it in the beginning, and then they just do like a funny episode.

But there's drama, yeah,

big drama, big drama, curly drama,

Curly drama.

Drama that hurts.

Yeah.

I wasn't sure if you were going to say something.

I was.

So go check it out for yourself.

We'll stop teasing the drama.

Just go listen to it when you're done with this, but you're going to want to listen to today's episode.

So, anyways, back to before I was singing.

You were right that Damon actually might be like the good one and maybe the king and his peeps like are the nefarious actors here.

And I was right that Alice didn't, Alison, they didn't have sex that night.

It was, they were laying the foundation, which is exactly what happened.

Yeah, I don't want to respond because then we'll get into the whole thing.

And that will be for the TV recap after the past five.

So if there's nothing else you want to say, I suggest we just dive in because there is a litany.

Look at me.

S-A-T-word.

Litany of things we need to discuss.

Most importantly, Taylor's album, notably Kelsey Ballerini.

Yeah, I just wanted to discuss one more thing, if I may.

Sure, sure.

And it's something that I'm looking at right now, which is that you're wearing a seamla.

No, I'm not.

I'm wearing a romper.

Oh, really?

It looks like a seamla from where I'm sitting.

For those who don't know, seemla is dress in Hebrew, and Jackie refers to use the word dress ever since she rediscovered the word seemla.

Just because there's something about like when you're wearing a dress.

It's so feminine.

Simla.

When you're wearing a dress, like it's just a simla.

No, this isn't a seemla.

It's a romper from Show Me Your Mumu.

I actually placed an order at Show Me Your Mumu last night because I decided to bloom where I'm planted and get clothes that fit me.

Okay, so I have like had a renaissance recently with Show Me Your Moo.

This is not sponsored.

Not at all.

I paid full price.

I don't even think honey picked up a code for me.

Well, they sent me like so much new clothing for free.

And the sweater I wore last week that said howdy that everyone was like obsessed with is Show Me Your Moo.

It's sold out.

This romper, Show Me Your Moo Moo.

And honestly, I think it's important to mention and promote brands that make cute shit, not ugly shit, because everyone's making ugly shit, that make shit that is good quality with like a decent price.

It's a little expensive, but it's decent.

And brands that have a normal range of sizes.

Like, so I'm always here.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna promote a brand that does that, even though I don't benefit from it at all, even though I do get free clothes.

Yeah, no, that's really nice.

I didn't know like you got free clothes, but you know what?

I'm happy.

You get what you pay for.

And I'm looking forward to

I'm looking forward to receiving my order that I literally placed last night.

So that's such a coinky dink.

And that's like, that was a real impetus for me to clean out my closet because they sent me such nice things i'm like these things deserve a nice place to lay yeah the rule general rule of thumb though i personally don't stick to it is that for every new piece of clothing you should remove a piece of clothing from your closet that you don't wear and donate it so that you never have like

right now your closet is full i'm sure So you then you start stuffing stuff the more you get, but you really don't wear everything in your closet.

So if you could find a way to remove something for every new thing, you would remain,

your equilibrium would be intact.

Okay, that literally never occurred to me, and I'm going to do that.

That's so smart.

Oh my God, thanks.

And by the way, what I do is when I clean out my closet, I make, I do, I clean out so big that I have space because then I get new clothing and I'm like, all right, now I can withstand the things that I get.

You know, we're about to go into fall.

I'm going to need sweaters, you know?

You're going to need sweaters.

And I think I'm going to wear this hat to the party tonight, you know?

You should.

It's really sharp.

Don't you think?

You know, but I had something else.

Is this yours Pink?

I'm so musical today.

You are.

You're sounding like me.

And now I really understand why it's annoying.

I got bit with the bug.

Ooh.

What else that I wanted to say, but I cannot remember.

Oh,

I remember.

I remember.

Okay.

I started We Are the Brennans.

Wow.

Margo recommended it to me.

Then I went on Goodreads.

I saw you gave it five stars.

I did.

Yes.

Oh, I must have been hit over the head.

Oh my God, what a piece of shit.

Literally.

Okay, so this, just a little backstory.

This was our Redheads book.

Actually, one year ago today, it was a Snitch's Choice.

And considering it was a Snitch's Choice, we actually all, we, we all enjoyed it and we liked it.

I don't know why I gave it five stars.

It kind of was like dreadful, but fine.

Positively dreadful.

First of all, give me a group of more unlikable characters.

There was not one, and I got through 30%, and that's when I decided to, you know, protect my piece and not finish it.

Literally give me one character who I could even remotely identify with.

Everyone was just out here making bad decisions financially, bad decisions personally, bad decisions romantically, drinking and driving.

Like, literally hated

every minute of every word I read.

Yeah, it's, I wouldn't have recommended it for you.

It was a good book for the Redheads because there was like a lot of themes and characters and storylines to dissect and because it was a departure for the snitch, which we always encourage.

Encourage, of course.

Speaking of which, this month's book, Episode, drops on Thursday.

We are recording tomorrow.

We read

Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton.

I'm about 60% in.

And I think you would like that.

It's Dolly's memoir.

And

it's really...

Not every moment, every story I'm obsessed with, but she really like captures something

about your 20s that I'm really enjoying and it's making me nostalgic, but not enough.

Not missing, not missing those days whatsoever.

Yeah.

Well, when I had to burn my Kindle after reading We Are the Brennans, then I went into something safe, which was like a spicy rom-com.

And it was recommended to me.

And it has a sequel.

So I just want to say, it's called A Not So Meat Cute.

And then the sequel is called So Not Meant to Be.

And don't be dissuade by the titles and the cover art.

It's like really corny.

They're both so cute, so funny.

And like what I didn't expect, like I know what I'm going to get from a book, you know, this one is going to give me thriller.

This one's going to give me porn.

This one's going to make me laugh.

So I was not expecting the porn book to make me cackle so many times.

Like I, especially last night in the sequel, I was reading something so funny.

The writer is like weirdly very funny.

I love that.

And it's just a nice layer to like a cute romantic comedy vibe.

I have been cackling.

Like there's a few moments in each book that like genuinely make me belly laugh, which is really hard to make me laugh in a book.

Yeah.

Oh, but there's nothing better.

There's nothing better.

Mostly I only really laugh at celebrity memoirs.

Yeah, I was thinking like Tom Segura made me laugh.

Claudia Ashre made me laugh.

Of course she did.

Gary Giannetti makes me laugh.

Sophie Kinsella makes me laugh.

You still haven't read one, Sophie Kinsella book.

No.

Read one.

It's just one of those things, you know, I'll read it in five years.

Yeah, and be like, have you read it?

And then I'll start like a Sophie Kinsella Instagram fan page.

Literally.

But you know what?

I won't push you.

I know you and I love how you are and everything about you.

So I'll lightly suggest it and move on and not get too wrapped up in it.

Cool, cool, cool.

I'll get there.

Yeah, you always do.

I

let's also talk about the week this week.

It's Labor Day, so there is no show Friday or Monday because I will be enjoying my time in Turks and Caicos.

And you should come and see me on your way home.

Oh, you know what?

I should.

You should.

I think that would be right.

Okay, I'll think about it.

And I know your shows would allow it.

Right.

So my shows.

I have my Gwunge tracker up to the next one.

Just quickly promote.

September 17th and 18th, I will be in the Pacific Northwest.

I would love to see all of my PNW toasters, Seattle and Portland, the 17th and 18th tickets available at girlwithnowjob.com slash tour.

Great.

I'm so excited for that.

Obviously, construction workers for Gwunge Tour are excited about it too.

And now now I think we've adequately plugged everything.

I feel like, what else did I do?

I just, I was honestly in backbreaking pain this weekend and I was reading for the redheads.

So please, you guys, it's never too late to become a redhead.

We're kind of like taking over.

I can't really explain what's going on with the redheads, but I also feel like books in general, plus like Kindles are having a renaissance and the redheads are just like kind of leading the charge.

So

And by the way, I feel like you, I successfully got someone to read.

Who?

Abe.

Okay.

He, I, a couple months ago, I was like, you have to buy a Kindle.

And so we bought one.

He's like, I really want to get into reading.

And then he opened it and he was like, this is a Kindle.

Like, and you know what he, like, I know what he meant.

Like the interface is like literally from 1997.

Like the store.

And he was like, not into it.

But he went this weekend to Israel.

It's his birthday.

Happy birthday, Abe.

And he was like, I'm going to bring the Kindle, suggest.

a couple books for me.

So I suggested luckiest girl, because he said I want like certain types.

So I said luckiest girl alive.

Then I said verity because he wanted like a murder mystery vibes and I do feel like he'll appreciate the little you know porn elements and then I recommended red white and royal blue and so on the good right yeah and then you should read that okay

I've told you so many times I think you would like it Okay, I'll add it to my thing.

Well, he read Luckiest Girl Alive on the plane.

And I think when I told him that Milakunis was making a movie out of it, he like thought it was like cool, you know?

Yeah.

And he loved it, like beyond loved.

And it really, it felt so good.

It feels so good.

I'm, I think book recommendations are more personal than food, more personal than comedy.

When I recommend a book to someone, like I really, I follow up.

I'm like, did you read the book?

What did you think about the book?

Like, I recommended it for you.

I didn't recommend it to everyone.

Right.

Sometimes I read a book and I'm like, Kristen would love this book.

Yes, yes.

I know what you mean.

She knows that like I take it really seriously.

So I think everyone who I like, I'm like, you have to read this book.

They eventually do.

Yeah.

And it feels good when somebody like takes your recommendation and then loves it.

And I feel like I did a good, I don't really, I get asked for recommendations from people in my life.

Like on Instagram, I'll recommend like a good porn book, but other than that, like you don't really ask for tailored selects.

And I felt really good.

I actually had two good tailored selects moments like this past week.

Stasi has gotten into reading too, and she's such a historical fiction girly.

Her area of focus is a little before my time, but I've read some books in her beat, and I've recommended like two two books to her that she loved.

And then also Shannon read that Titanic book that, because she was saying like her and her friend Taylor became obsessed with the Titanic.

So I was like, if you read this book, you'll have no further questions.

And she listens to books on tape, which is just something cute about her.

Books on tape.

Are you 97 years old?

She does the audio.

Audiobook.

Okay, yeah.

She does the audio book.

And she read that Titanic one and she really enjoyed it.

Books on tape.

That is literally such a throwback.

Throwback.

You have a book on tape.

I do have a book on tape.

Girlwithnjob.com slash book.

I do feel sad though that like both for both of us, like our renaissance with reading came long after the time where like Borders, Barnes and Noble were like these social,

because I could see spending a Sunday rainy afternoon cuddled up at a Barnes and Noble with like a Starbucks.

Like that is something I would do.

And that was totally a thing when we were like nine.

And I'm like, you're not going to get me to spend my weekend at a fucking bookstore.

And it's just sad that we miss that.

Yeah.

Also, I was with a friend yesterday and she was telling me how, like,

if you go to the library, I know a lot of people already know this, but a lot of people don't.

If you go to your local library and get a library card, which is free and like, we need a library renaissance in general.

100%.

Then you download an app called Libby and you plug in your library card information and you can read all these books for free.

You just borrow them.

A lot of the more popular books do have a wait list, but like instead of buying books on Amazon all the time, like if you just get a library card, download Libby, it connects to your Kindle, you can be borrowing books for free from the library.

No, for sure.

And libraries sound so quaint when it's, you know, in your town.

Yeah, no, the New York public library.

It's not the New York Public Library.

It's not a safe haven.

It's not

exactly what I said about it.

It's a public restroom.

Now that I live in suburbia, like the library sounds cute, but I wouldn't have been heading down to the New York Public Library before.

No, I had to, and it's romanticized, of course, sex in the city, and you see the outside, it's so gorgeous.

But what you don't actually know is like, that's not really the library.

Like, the actual library with a stock of books is across the street, and it's forlorn.

It's like an old ass government building.

Literally, it's

my friend Rachel's dad used to call it the Pubic Library, because it's literally disgusting.

Yeah.

It's forlorn.

It's forlorn.

It's abandoned.

It's disgusting.

Yeah.

No, I know why I personally hadn't gone to the library recently, but now that I don't live in New York, maybe I will.

And not to get political, but are libraries paid for by taxpayer dollars?

I think so.

So we're paying like super high taxes here for things like that, gorgeous libraries, hospitals, things like that, right?

Yeah, exactly.

The hospitals are good.

The library.

Use the money to pay the roads.

Yeah, no.

Honestly, if you want to hear my true thoughts on taxes, go watch my comedy special, Disgrace Queen, available on Amazon Prime.

It's all in there.

It's all in there.

Like, honestly, I do believe my groundbreaking, you know, earth-shattering special put a target on my back for the IRS, honestly.

Yeah, but good thing you've got your shit together.

Oh, I pay.

I pay and I pay and I pay.

You know what I'm thinking?

I feel like we recently have so many new

audience.

Like so many new toasters, so many new listeners.

And I don't know if all of them know that you actually have a comedy special from your first tour available to watch.

Like if you, Claudia's on her not like other girls tour right now, which is amazing and it's so fucking funny.

And hopefully one day we will all be able to watch it on our televisions.

But her last tour that she did right before COVID, the Dirty Jeans tour, she did a comedy special and you can watch it on Amazon and it's so funny and premium.

So whenever I'm on my stories and I'll share like somebody read my book or somebody's like, you know, watching my special, I'll always share it.

You know, girls got to promote.

And I've been getting so many messages recently like, wait, you have a book?

Wait, what's this comedy special?

And I guess that's just the power of TikTok because we've literally gotten so many new followers and listeners, which we're so grateful for.

Welcome.

Yes, I have a book, a memoir that just came out.

It hit the New York Times bestsellers list.

Number fucking 12.

And number 12.

number 12, number 12.

12 yourselves.

And before this tour, I was on my first tour, which was the Dirty Jeans tour, and I recorded that special and it's on Amazon Prime.

It's called Disgrace Queen, and I believe it's free.

Yeah, so check it out.

Once you're done listening to this and then Good Guys and then Good Tour and Elizabeth and then Snatcheler and then Dane Right and then Cameroon Dreams.

Probably a podcast.

Exactly.

Then watch Quadi's special.

Then and only then.

Oh, wait.

Don't forget about Patreon.

You have to listen to all 250 episodes that you've ever done on Patreon, and then you can watch Claudia's special.

Okay, are you trying to get people to watch my special or not?

No, I am.

I just want them to be fully immersed

in TNN universe.

In TNN culture.

TNN things.

TNN things.

Okay, we actually really have to get in because we have a long fucking show.

We do.

So without further ado, do to do, here are the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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What can I say?

Except Taylor Swift announced a new album called Midnights after her VMA's 2022 speech.

So first two stories are kind of blended together.

We're going to try and break it down.

VMAs were on last night.

Who knew?

But you know what?

A lot of news came out from them.

A lot of actual real stars.

There was star power there.

There was.

And Taylor Swift accepted an award.

During her acceptance speech, she announced that she has a new album coming out in October.

She said, quote, I thought it might be a fun moment to tell you that my brand new album comes out October 21st.

I will tell you more at midnight.

And then at midnight, she posted on her Instagram said album called Midnights.

She said, midnights, the stories of 13 sleepless nights scattered throughout my life will be out October 21st.

Meet me at midnight.

In the Instagram post, it has this bit of text.

I'm hoping we can break it down and then we'll also break down October 21st.

We lie awake in love and in fear, in turmoil and in tears.

We stare at walls and drink until they speak back.

We twist in our self-made cages and pray that we aren't, right this minute, about to make some fateful, life-altering mistake.

This is a collection of music written in the middle of the night, a journey through terrors and sweet dreams, the floors we pace and the demons we face.

Damon.

For all of us who have tossed and turned and decided to keep the lanterns lit and go searching, hoping that we just maybe when the clock strikes 12 will meet ourselves.

Midnights, the stories of 13 sleepless nights scattered throughout my life will be on October 21st.

Meet me at midnight.

Okay, so first of all, I think there was a lot of, you know, speculation from the Swifties, like, are we going to get another re-recording soon or is the next thing we get going to be original music?

And I would have been happy for either, but I obviously am happier that it's new music because it's been a really long time since folk,

since Evermore.

I love the concept of this, first of all, like Relatable Queen, like who else, who, like, everyone is up.

at night, like thinking about their worst fears, things going on in their life.

And I'm sure for Taylor, like relatable happens to her all the time.

And I think it's interesting that each song is like a different night based on, you know, whatever was going through her life at that point.

And I'm curious if like,

and I'm sure we will be able to decipher like what each song is about.

Not everyone, because we don't know everything that goes on in her life, but I'm sure that like, you know, one of the songs will be like the night she met Joe or something.

Like, and we'll be able to decipher, or maybe like, and since she announced it at the VMAs, I have to imagine perhaps there's one song about after, you know, what kept her up that night.

after the VMAs with Kanye.

Yeah, that's so true.

Also,

it will probably be harder because I feel like every album she puts out is like a moment in time.

It's like, oh, this past year and a half.

And here's how I felt about it.

And then we just have to examine the year and a half.

This will be like examining her whole life.

Her whole life.

If anyone can figure out the Swifty code, it's the Swifties.

And so I'm not worried.

And I know she will give us enough Easter eggs to put it together.

And, you know, now that we've officially entered a new era, I do feel as though everything she wears now is indicative of what the vibe of the album will be.

And last night at the VMAs, she looked so gorgeous she was wearing this crystal it was honestly it was giving Kendall Jenner at the Met Gala it was really similar um and I'm sorry you know to have brought that up but she looked so beautiful and then at the after party I didn't even think she could do better than she did at the VMA's and she did she was wearing this like midnight blue starry romper with like this furry shawl it was so glamorous it was honestly both outfits were giving kind of that wildest dreams aesthetic from the music video like old Hollywood very glamorous red lip yeah but she is old Hollywood.

That is her aesthetic, like always, aside from when she's like putting on a different one.

That hasn't been her aesthetic for a really long time.

Yeah.

With Lover, we got like really bright colors.

Oh, yeah.

With Evermore, we got like cottage core.

Right.

So perhaps, you know, this is a return to the Taylor of Yore.

The Taylor of Yore.

I'm very excited for everyone, for myself.

I'm excited for new music.

I wonder what the vibe vibe will be.

I feel like it's still going to be in this vein of like

emo singer-songwriter.

It's not going to be the bop.

Pop.

No, yeah.

Even though she did say like in the description, it's both nightmares and dreams.

So I feel like some of them will be like very whimsical, very dreamy, and others will be maybe, you know, more dark.

But again, like, what's the genre?

That's the thing with Taylor.

Like, you never know what you're going to get because one album is country, one album is alternative, one album is pop.

Like, what is it?

It's cross-genre.

And that's why we stan our talented queen, but it does make it difficult to have expectations.

Yeah.

I don't know why I thought October 21st was sooner than now I'm realizing it's two months.

And I just kind of hate that, like this whole

beat up.

I wish she would have closed the gap a little bit.

But the thing about Taylor is like, she's so traditional.

The way she does music is the way people have been doing music for the last 20 years.

And I think a lot of artists have changed that.

You know, they do surprise albums.

But she did by the old school

surprise album for

folklore.

Curtigan.

For folklore.

Yeah.

Well, that was because we were desperate and she was, it was a global crisis and she was being helped.

And we're grateful.

Yeah, we are grateful.

But for the most part, she does that old school way, like lots of press, one or two singles, like one or two really videos.

Right.

People don't really do that anymore.

They just drop works of art entirely.

But she goes like the old school radio route.

Yeah, that's very true.

I mean, it's fine and the time will fly.

No, it's annoying.

It's fucking annoying.

It is annoying.

You know what I was thinking about this morning?

Remember when she dropped Evermore and like in the art, it still said like Weather Vane or whatever?

No, not Weather Vane, Woodvale.

Woodvale.

And then

everyone was like, oh my God, third album.

It's a triplets.

And they were like, oh no, we forgot to take it out.

That was like the fake title of the album when we were working on the artwork.

And it's like, really?

how

people worked on this and you forgot you just left it relatable

relatable even Taylor Swift makes mistakes no I know but that was crazy and people still think that like there's a conspiracy there and it was meant to be there and like she's lying about it being a mistake no I think like that there is a third sister album to folklore and evermore titled Wood Vale um especially like there's so many clues you know when she released those cardigans for the song cardigan it had three stars on it and they were like it's emblematic of each each album.

Yeah.

Now we also need to talk about the fact that Midnights is coming out on October 21st, which is Kim Kardashian's birthday.

Does it mean anything?

It means nothing.

Like, people are so annoying.

Because, first of all, if you know anything about Taylor, you know that the dates that she releases her music on have to mean something.

She's, you know what she is?

Is she Jewish?

Because she's very into Gematria.

Gematria, yeah.

For those who don't know, like in Hebrew, and like this is like a biblical thing, each letter in the Hebrew alphabet is associated with a number.

So sometimes like a word will equal,

like for example, okay, the word chai, which means life, in Judaism, like life is signified with the number 18.

Like everyone knows 18 is a lucky number in Judaism because it means life.

And that's because chai is two letters.

The chet is eight and the yud is 10.

But also it's the chet is eight and yud is 10.

Think about it.

Like a is one, b is two, c is three, and like all the way till z is 26.

So each letter has a corresponding number.

And then the letters.

But does it go, does it go numerical?

I feel like after 10, it becomes weird.

Or maybe after 20.

No, I mean, I think.

I haven't learned Gematria in forever.

Yeah, but what's so weird that you mentioned that, I saw a post on my Instagram today that was Gematria, but English Gematria from Peloton Memes.

And so it says, if A is...

ABCDE equals 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, then knowledge, the letters of knowledge equal 96%.

Hard work equals 98%.

Both are important, but fall just short of 100%.

But the word attitude equals 100%.

Okay, they're just trying to get you to Peloton, but.

No, it's Peloton memes.

It's not the corporate account.

Well, that's Gematri.

Honestly, Gematria is like such a throwback.

It brings me back to like literally third grade learning Gematria and like not understanding it at all.

I'm like, well, are they numbers or letters?

They're both.

But Taylor is like a Jewish queen with the Gematria.

So October 21st is the date.

Taylor's lucky number is 13.

So 10, 21, which is the date.

102 and 1 is, and sorry, 10 and 21 is, wait, 10, 2, and 1 is 13.

So they always have to mean something.

And you have to release music on a Friday.

So there are limited options for Taylor when it comes to Fridays in a year, which numbers also have meaning.

And she also assigns you for calendar.

And she loves October.

Yeah, Sad Girl Autumn.

Like, she loves.

So I think it literally has nothing to do with Kim.

And I will believe that until she gives me a reason to believe that it does have anything to do with Kim.

I think it has nothing to do with Kim.

As she's told us, she wants nothing to do with this narrative.

I can't imagine she's doing things to keep her in like the new cycle with Kim Kardashian.

And I'm sure, like,

I would be shocked if she even knew about this.

And I'm sure if she didn't, she's like annoyed today that, oh, that's what people are taking away from this, that they think I did it on Kim's birthday.

But you know what?

It does actually make me feel really bad for Kim

because

Kim can't enjoy the musical stylings of Taylor Swift, which just sucks because there's really something for everyone in Taylor Swift's catalog.

And whatever music you're into, whatever you listen to, I think everyone pretty much agrees, unless you're like so stubborn, that like there is a place in

Taylor's discography for you.

No, and also like we know Kim was a fan of Taylor.

She has a iconic video saying she loves

love story and then she's watching Taylor on Twitter.

But I actually think there are so many people who I like really hate and I just find a way to put it out of my mind and listen to their music.

And I feel like when Kim is like in the gym or whatever, and we've heard like their music sometimes in the back, Kim, Taylor's music in the background of some people's Instagram stories, I feel like she can put it out of her head.

I hope so.

I don't really listen in her AirPods to Taylor, like full Taylor Swift albums, but when it comes on and she's like in the mood, she's able to just enjoy the music.

By the way, I know what you mean.

Like, there are people who I hate so much, but like their music, sorry, like it slaps.

I'm gonna listen to it anyway.

But there are also people that I hate.

I don't have personal beef with that.

That's true.

You know what I mean?

But there's also people that I hate, and I actually can't listen to their music anymore.

I understand.

For Kim, I don't know if it's the same comparison, just because, like, this is personal.

It's not like just hating someone from afar.

Yeah, that's true.

So,

I hope, I really do hope that Kim is letting herself enjoy the musical stylings of Taylor Swift because it's such a, it's such a pleasure.

It's a privilege.

Yeah.

And so I'm excited that we all have this to look forward to.

And Taylor looked, I just want to say, like so spectacular.

We never get to see her.

And like, we're just so desperate for like little crumbs.

And she gave us a whole ass piece of bread last night and she looked amazing.

And I love her so much.

And it was so fabulous to see her, really.

And we're going to get to see a lot more of her.

And this is obvious.

Her era is clearly very like sparkly, midnight you know disco ball is what i'm getting and i think there'll be a lot more where this came from so get excited and the artwork was very cool very etchy very cool cute okay our next story a little more vma's news for me i think it was like the headline from the evening even though i didn't watch the animes i barely kept up with like the looks or anything but addison ray's mom and young gravy kissed on the 2022 mtv vma's red carpet

I think I know like a decent amount about this.

If you want me to give you like a little backstory.

Okay, please.

So, you know, Addison Ray's dad has been out here embarrassing himself and his family over the last couple of weeks.

And it all really started with like him making these crazy videos about young Gravy.

And the reason why he was doing that was because young Gravy was like doing press, basically saying like he thinks Sherry is everything of the sort.

Like he wants to date her.

Like he was being very public about like how he's really into Sherry.

And Monty, who's Sherry's ex-husband, I think they're probably, I don't know if they're divorced yet, and Addison's dad made all these videos like saying how disrespectful it was, even though like he recently was exposed for literally cheating on the mother of his children and his wife.

So it started this weird beef between young Gravy and Monty Lopez.

And honestly, Sherry never even acknowledged it.

Like, but then there was some other weirdness with Addison on following her mom,

Addison's mom tweeting like, I'm heartbroken, yada, yada, mothers will understand.

And so it's been unclear, like, what's going on between Addison and her mom, but we're all pretty sure Addison is not talking to her dad because he's acting like a fucking animal, like a three-year-old on social media.

So then, after all of this, last night, Young Gravy shows up on the red carpet with Sherry as his date.

And it's so bizarre.

He's 26.

She's in her 40s.

I am fairly certain they're not dating.

I think that like

Young Gravy was more than happy to be used as a pawn in Sherry Ray's divorce drama.

Like her ex-husband has been so embarrassing, like texting 20-year-olds, posting these disgusting videos, then hanging out with Ava Luis, who is obviously Addison's like arch nemesis, like

doing all of these things to embarrass Sherry, to embarrass Addison.

And I think Sherry and Young Gravy used last night's red carpet as like a moment to get back at him.

I really don't think that they're dating, even though they kissed on the red carpet.

And then in the telecast, they were behind someone who was like hosting or or announcing something and you could see them kissing in the background i still don't think they're dating yeah i didn't know who young gravy was until last week because he was on sophia with an f

and i watched a clip of what he was talking about and he said that he was talking about like having all these girls in different like uh ports pretty much and like hose in different area yeah but they're like real like relationships when he's with them but he has like multiple of these people so i just hope like sherry's not getting too invested because i now know that he has a lot of other girlfriends who feel really special and that she'll never just be his one and only.

So I'm grateful to Sophia with an F for doing that investigative work for us.

I don't think though that they're actually dating.

But like

for to do that on the red carpet, like where's Addison?

This is just like not a great look.

No, this is the takeaway for me from this story.

Addison Ray's parents are disgraceful.

After, After,

first of all, after Addison made it and started growing and getting all these opportunities for brand deals and acting, yada, yada, yada, the way she brought her parents along for the ride, whether it was what she wanted, whether it was they wanted, was admirable.

You know, like nobody really gets famous and puts their parents at the forefront of

the spotlight.

Like it was, it was always a little weird, honestly, like the way that her parents had TikTok accounts that were verified and would make dancing videos.

Like it's fucking weird, first of all.

Then not only that, but for them to then have this, and by the way,

things happen, people break up, to handle it in such a disgusting way on both of their parts, honestly, more so Monty than Sherry, but now both of them, is so embarrassing for Addison.

Her parents are acting out of control.

They're acting like the kids, especially her dad.

I'm sure Addison is not talking to her dad, and we know she's not talking to her mom.

And honestly, I feel that.

Yeah.

Also, it's like to the whole world who's watching this, like Sherry showing up with Young Gravy.

If they just walked the carpet together and we could have been like, ooh, titillating.

But like them, like making out PDA, even if they are dating, like, stop, you know?

Yeah.

The whole world is like watching and like, no one's thinking this is like cool, cute, or cute, or shipping.

So it's really just to get back at Monty.

And it's like, oh, okay, so you care.

So you care about this like disgusting piece of shit.

Up until this point, Sherry was above every, everything Monty was doing was so like lowbrow, so tacky, and Sherry was remaining above it, even though there was, you know, for me at least, like questions as to why her and Addison weren't talking and why she followed her mom on it, unfollowed her mom on Instagram.

But now Sherry's like playing dirty just like Monty, and they're both honestly disgraceful.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, look at what they're doing to their daughter, who's literally had this, you know, historic, unprecedented success on her way to being, you know, a true fixture in Hollywood as a celebrity, whether it's acting or doing beauty or just social media.

Like she has a very, you know, hopeful hopeful career ahead of her.

And her parents acting like this, like bringing her down to a level that's so tacky when like she's out in Malibu with the Kardashians, like, look how well she's done for herself.

Yeah.

And they both want to, you know, chip away at that by being two-year-olds.

Yeah.

Agreed.

It's unacceptable and it's really embarrassing.

I'm embarrassed for them.

Should be Addison on the red carpet.

Of course.

Where is Addison?

It's like Dixie D'Amilio walking, Addison's mom and her 25-year-old boyfriend walking.

Like,

are these people okay?

But also, where's Addison?

Like, I know she's been on Italian vacation for a year, but

where is she?

She probably took some time off and then all this stuff happened and she just extended that time off because honestly, she should not have to answer or really be a part of this.

Like, if her parents want to act wild, then that's on them.

And she really shouldn't have to step out into a red carpet and be asked about that.

It's not her fucking problem.

I mean, she can't really control how her parents are acting.

So, you know what?

I would take a break too.

Like, relax.

Yeah.

As far as other things that happened at the VMAs, Nikki Minaj like won a Lifetime Achievement Award.

So happy for her.

Her new song is really good.

What's her new song?

I'm not going to lie.

I have been very critical of Nikki Majina.

You have, especially because I didn't think it was cool the way she, you know, was the only female rapper for a really long time.

And then when it came time for Cardi B, like, she was not gracious.

She was not.

And then obviously, you know, there's a lot in her personal life that is unique.

But then she did the Potomac reunion and she crawled her way back a little bit.

And then I started to like like her on a personal level, but I really thought like she would not come back as like the queen of rap.

I thought that time was kind of over for her.

But she just really is super freak and it's a fucking bop.

One thing about me, I'm the baddest still alive.

And like I only know it because of TikTok, but now I like want to listen to it on Spotify.

Like her rap is just so good.

Like it's so on point.

Like every word makes perfect fucking sense, you know?

Yeah, it's so on point one thing about me I'm the baddest still that you

it's fictitious like she's a word fictitious like perfect SAT word.

I don't know the song yet, but I've got to add it to my Spotify.

It's really good.

Cool.

Well anything else that happened

I didn't watch by the way.

I didn't watch some of the red carpet looks were here or there.

Unique.

I thought Sabrina Carpenter looked unreal.

I completely agree.

I thought Lizzo looked a little silly.

I'm sorry.

I love her dearly.

But that dress was just a no for me.

But you know what?

That's fashion.

It's everyone's choice.

Jeff Cameron looked a little

bad.

Dixie D'Amilio looked gorge.

She's a class act, that girl.

Yeah.

Good stuff.

Good stuff.

Yeah.

And it was in New Jersey.

Right.

Are you ready for our next story?

I am.

Olivia Wilde asked Shia LaBeouf not to quit the movie Don't Worry, Darling, in a leaked video saying, Quote, I'm not ready to give up.

This is really, like, really bad.

Yes.

So, a previously reported video message that Olivia Wilde sent Shia LaBeouf asking him to reconsider his decision to leave Don't Worry Darling has leaked.

The full contents of the video were reported by Variety, but the video itself emerged several hours later.

Shia had sent Variety the video in an effort to rebuff Olivia Wilde's claims in a recent cover story that she fired the actor from the film due to disagreements over his acting process.

Shia countered saying he left the film on his own because he couldn't find enough time to rehearse with his co-stars.

Olivia Wilde reportedly sent Shaya the video several days after he left Don't Worry Darling in August 2020.

In the clip, she says, quote, I feel like I'm not ready to give up on this yet and I am too heartbroken and want to figure this out.

She also appears to allude to some potential tension between Shaya and co-star Florence Pugh, saying, quote, I think this might be a bit of a wake-up call for Miss Flo.

If she really commits, if she really puts her mind and heart into it at this point, and if you guys can make peace, and I respect your point of view I respect hers but if you guys can do it what do you think is there hope a rep for Olivia did not return a request for comment

Okay, like not Olivia Wilde being like the most fraudulent feminist of all time.

Like, yeah, like talking to variety.

And I've seen a lot of clips from this interview.

Variety did a big thing with her because she's really kind of the next big female director.

Like if she's not already, you know, she's getting to that level, like kind of how I feel about Mindy Caitlin.

Like when she's associated with something, you know, it's going to have that Olivia Wilde vibe.

So they did this big article, woman director, yada, yada, empowering women.

Oh, yeah, I fired Shia.

As we all know, Shaya has been accused and is currently being sued by some of his ex-girlfriends for abhorrent abuse.

Like he's not a good guy.

In this scenario, though, I do love how petty he was, like sending the full video.

So she's out here being a hero, you know, I protect women, yada, yada, I fired Shaya.

It was tough.

We was what we had to do.

And then this video comes to light um that not only proves that she was lying but is actually incredibly cringy for you know someone who wears a t-shirt that says feminist af you know yeah

she not only is asking shia not to quit but to stay, but is also being incredibly condescending to Florence Pugh, Miss Flo.

Like in the video, her tone is like obviously distasteful towards Florence and wanting to side with Shia.

And maybe that's not how she feels.

Maybe she thought that's how she would get Shia to agree.

All in all, it's a really bad look for Olivia Wilde, especially, and it's made worse by the fact that like she is obviously dating Harry Styles, who has these hordes of fans who do not like her.

So the video is getting perpetuated even more,

more than it would if she was just a regular girl dating Jason Sadekis, you know?

Yes, but I'm not even invested on the Harry Styles piece, but like this is...

fucking crazy just to be so caught in a lie like that and to lie to really prop yourself up to like and also you know i'm very glad that he sent this video forward because

we should know

and it's just like people just fucking lie and i know

when someone says when there's rumors or this or that or sources like i can always give it the benefit of the doubt and be like that's probably not true or like maybe that didn't happen and so i'm always this is full proof this is she said one thing and the video shows that she fucking lied Yeah, no, it's really bad, especially now, you know, she's like that classic, you know, celebrity who, you know, she went on Watch What Happens Live.

Her skirt was embroidered, feminist, feminist, feminist, feminist.

No, she wears cores.

She's like, feminist, feminist card is, you know, formative fucking activist.

Her feminist card is being rescinded for sure, but also just like your truthful human being card.

Your credibility.

Your credibility.

No, it's really bad.

One, because the video is so obviously just like said one thing, but you did another.

But also, like, this tension that has been rumored up until this point with Florence, Pew, is kind of like fully validated now.

Like, it was really rude vibes in the video about Florence.

It's been reported that Florence is not going to do any press for this movie except for the Venice Film Festival.

That's the one thing she's going to do.

And honestly, I'm with her.

Like, first of all, your director, who's a woman.

So you're like, finally, I'm getting a woman director.

She can finally understand what it's like to be a woman in this business, someone i can lean on perhaps be a mentor to me and she's fucking you know being sneaky behind your back trying to get your co-star who's just been exposed for being like a violent abuser you're she's trying to get him back on then she ends up dating the lead they keep running away together no one's on set no one's working no one's being professional i'm sure she's like fuck this forlorn project i wish i never signed on you know what i owe Florence an apology.

I was wrong because I...

You were doubtful.

You weren't.

No, I said like she's probably bitter about the movie because because like if anyone was gonna be dating Kyrie Styles on set it was gonna be her and that's so not what her issue is here and I was it's more layered I was wrong and I apologize because it's so much more layered and yeah this sounds like a miserable work experience A toxic working atmosphere.

Yeah.

But like just even the Shia part.

And I guess like what she's saying is she's trying to get Miss Flo to rehearse more with him, kind of like what he wanted, like because he's very methody and like wants everyone rehearsing all the time.

And I guess Flo probably didn't want to.

Flo was probably like, this is a nine to five.

I'm going home.

Like, we'll pick up tomorrow.

And so they're going to be in the middle of like spending more time.

That's what I'm getting.

That's putting the pieces together.

That's probably where the biggest disconnect was.

So it's like, not only was she going to like

try and make Florence like method act like Shia, who also is like

alleged abuser and just like not a guy you want to be spending extra time with.

Right.

Alone time.

Then they finally figure out that piece and it was Shia who left.

It wasn't even Olivia making the right decision for florence it was shia who left which is so impactful and then okay so we bring on harry styles and now it's like you're running off with him florence is directing this who you know i apologize i was so wrong that's very big of you um i like before this whole saga i know like the teeny bot like gen z is obsessed with florence pugh and to be honest like i was not familiar at all mostly because i haven't seen um little women and that's where like she has like a cult following from so i didn't really know anything about her and i was just very kind of, you know, neutral about her.

Now I feel as though I like her a lot.

Like knowing what she's been through and still acting with such grace, even though I am

such grace.

Even though I'm sure she's so happy.

This is all that this video was was sent in because one, it shows that Olivia Wilde is a liar.

Two, it shows the toxic ass environment that she worked from.

And now people probably understand why she doesn't want to promote this film.

Like she wants to be done with it.

And she comes out the hero.

So my only question is, like, what does Olivia Wilde do now?

Like, this is so bad and so embarrassing for her.

And she was, like, ascending this very small, you know, to this very small group of female directors, you know?

And now it's like,

I'm sure she'll be fine.

I'm sure, like, she'll just keep doing whatever she was doing.

But I think for the fans, especially people who like didn't know where to fall on

this particular movie issue, and people really love Florence and people really love Olivia Wilde.

Like it's it's opened some eyes.

I don't think people.

I wonder if Florence even knew about this video.

I wonder if she

for sure not.

I'm sure she's feeling she probably knew that Olivia Wilde did not fire Shia LaBeouf.

She probably knew that.

Yeah.

That she knew that Shia quit and then she sees Olivia running around town being you know a hero for women when she didn't even have the balls to fire the alleged abuser in the movie.

He had to quit.

Yeah.

Like it's so embarrassing.

I'm like, I'm embarrassed.

Yeah, it's really embarrassing.

Yikes, Olivia.

That's really,

it's giving yikes.

It's yikes worthy.

Yeah.

So let's see what happens next.

But all of this to say, I got to see this movie.

Right.

So I'm, you know, no press is bad press.

So I'm curious if this is helping the film.

I saw like a little teaser they released.

I don't know if I need to see it.

I don't know that I will see it, but even though there are some sexy Harry Styles, this does make me more interested in seeing it.

I don't know if it's enough to see it, but I didn't care one iota before any of this happened.

I would have also assumed the movie already came out, you know, felt like forever since they've been dating, they met on set.

Like, right.

Yada yada.

So true.

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Thank you.

Our next story.

Shocking news this morning.

Kelsey Ballarini files for divorce from Morgan Evans.

It's over for Kelsey Ballarini and Morgan Evans.

The singer filed for divorce from the musician on Friday after nearly five years of marriage, People confirms.

A source tells people that, quote, they've been working on their marriage for a very long time.

Prior to this, they had separated privately once before and have been in therapy for several years.

They gave it their best go, but

unfortunately arrived at the decision to formally separate.

She addressed the split on her Instagram story this morning saying, friends, I've always tried my best to share my life with you in a real and vulnerable way while also protecting layers of my personal life as they unfold.

This is now public record, so I wanted you to hear from me directly that I'm going through a divorce.

This deeply difficult decision is a result of a journey of love, growth, and effort that ultimately has come to an end.

It's hard to find the words here, but I feel extremely grateful for the years of marriage to Morgan and

hopeful for the next seasons.

With very active schedules coming up, please be mindful that we are both fragile, actively healing, and showing up the best that we can.

Okay, let me say one thing.

When all these women in country, like these young women in country, were getting married, it was all around the same time.

Kelsey Vallerini Ballerini and Morgan Evans, Casey Musgraves and that guy's name who I don't remember.

And Ryan Hurd and Marin Morris.

Like all three of these like huge women in country were getting married like around the same time, all to men like significantly less successful than

I thought.

In the same industry, yeah, which I thought was like really interesting.

Of course, we all know Casey Musgraves' marriage was the first to bite the bullet.

Now

Kelsey Ballerini.

And I do feel as though Marin Morris's marriage is like really strong.

And I don't think that they're headed the way the the other two are headed, but it's just interesting to know now, like four or five years later, that two out of three of those marriages did not last.

Yeah, and we'll never know what the issues were.

But I imagine from an outside glance, it's very hard to one, be in the same industry as someone and to be married and in the exact same space.

And it's like.

just so obvious when one person is more successful than the other.

Like I feel like a lot of other people who are, you know, maybe I'm a singer in this genre, you're a singer in that genre, or I'm an actor, you're a singer, Nicole Kidman, Keith Irman.

There's no jealousy because there's no crime.

But to be in the exact same category and fighting for the same, you know, opportunities, recognition, minutes on the radio, et cetera.

And like one person is having so much success.

Like

it takes a really,

I don't even want to say a big person, but like just a certain type of person to not have any issues.

with that.

Right.

Because like jealousy and competition, like those are natural human emotions, especially if you're like a hustler, like you are motivated to be successful.

So I can't imagine that's the entire reason why,

but I think it leads to other problems in the marriage.

Because if you're not entirely happy with where you're at in life, you know, you take that out on the people around you.

And again, this is all just

guessing, but I just can't imagine it doesn't have at least something to do with it.

Because when you think about where they started and now where they are, like Kelsey is bigger than ever.

You know, her next album's coming out.

The three songs she she released are so fucking good.

Like, she can, like, she's just killing it.

She performs everywhere.

She does festivals.

She headlines.

And Morgan, who released his first album a couple years ago that I thought was incredible, like really filled with the most beautiful music.

I like haven't heard from him since.

Yeah, he's definitely more low-key, but he's unbelievably talented.

Right.

We love his music.

Rustin Kelly.

That was a music.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It just, I'm sure it throws a wrench into what is already difficult institution of marriage.

But I, and I don't know if this is like, you know, too soon to say, I am excited that eventually Kelsey Ballerini will be dating because she's kind of like this belle of the ball in country music.

I don't know if she's going to continue to date within country music, but she's like this beautiful young girl.

And I just think like who she dates next will be really fun for us to watch and also really good for her career.

For sure.

But I do feel like he'll be in a relationship first.

that's how it always goes

yeah but like i don't think you know people care tend to

yeah i'm just i'm i'm excited for her to heal and then be spotted out with i don't know like brad pitt yeah oh i'll add her to the list but oh yeah i'll have to put her under a category of not healed yet not healed yeah tbd

oh and you know who i'm taking off the list sherry wreck sherry i was thinking the same thing get rid of her she doesn't deserve it uh kelse Until she starts to act like a grown-up, then perhaps we'll consider putting her back on.

But until then, no, no, no.

Okay, Kelsey Ballerini and Chris Evans.

Cute.

Kelsey Ballerini and Michael B.

Jordan.

Cute.

Kelsey Ballerini and Josh Grosin.

Obsessed.

Even though I feel like he's a lot older than her.

She seems, you know, like mature.

Mature.

Yeah, for sure.

Because she's been in this industry, you know, for a long time.

She's had to to grow up quickly.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

I'm also really excited for her album.

Like, she's been killing it

with the singles that have come out.

Love is a calibrate.

I haven't listened to new music because I listened to the same five songs over and over again, just like as a mom.

I feel like the rotation changes constantly, but these days it's Middle of Somewhere by Luke Holmes.

Just want to say, we've never like fully debriefed the album, but I think it's so hard because this one's for you is also an incredible album.

But like this album growing up is fucking

10 out of 10.

Like, it's there's only one thing that's bad about it, and that's that it's not fucking long enough.

Every time I get to the end, I'm like, wait, yeah, the music stops.

I'm like, what?

Also, Outrunning Your Memory, we love that song.

We sing it always.

And I think part of the reason why I feel like the album's not long enough is because I think one of my perhaps my favorite song is the last one.

That girl is going, going gone.

Claude.

So good.

You'd love this bar.

It's so good.

Like, if you like country music, if you don't like country music, it's a and the songs are like, they're kind of like emotional.

Like, he's tapping into things that, like, you know, you think in your head, but you don't say.

Like, I'm so glad, you know,

I'm glad, hold on, I'm not anybody else because I used to wish I was.

Like, things like that, that we all feel, but would never even admit.

Like, yeah, I used to hate myself.

Like, it's so real.

And it's not like, it has the country, you know, whiskey beer, beer, whatever, broke.

Like, it has that, but it also has a depth to it that's like kind of like emo.

He's just sharing universal truths.

Yes.

No matter where you're from, what your genre is, it's universal truths.

It's literally, it's a work of art.

It's a work of art.

Middle of Somewhere is my favorite song and Outrunning Your Memory.

And then the other five in the rotation that we're always listening to is now Obviously Can't Help Falling in Love.

And If I Can Dream by Elvis is my new favorite song.

I never knew it before.

I listen to it probably 20 times a day, all different versions of it.

It's so good.

Better Back When for Luke Homes is up there for me,

as is Going, Going, Gone and Used to Wish I Was.

All of them.

But I'm glad I'm not.

I'm just in Carolonder, girl.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Oh, my God, all ready?

Yeah.

It's some TV news.

Daily Pop and Nightly Pop have been canceled at E.

E is canceling two of its daily entertainment news shows.

The daytime talk show Daily Pop will end its five-year run in September, and Companion Nightly Pop will go dark in October.

The NBC Universal-owned cable outlet also plans to launch a new evening show in October that will return to the roots of the e-news brand as the gold standard of entertainment news coverage, according to a memo from Tracy Wilson, executive VP Syndication Studios at NBC Universal, to E staff on Friday.

She wrote, I know change can be challenging, but I'm truly excited about the future of these brands that we are going to build together.

The whole email is like all over the internet, but the headline is that Daily Pop and Nightly Pop are

done.

E

is so moronic, and they have not been okay for

years.

I don't know like who on the planet decided to cancel e-news.

Like, they should be fired immediately.

That was just a terrible idea because that was really what E was known for.

And maybe it needed to be improved and fixed in some different ways, but that's what they've claimed to be, was like this pop culture network.

And E-News was honestly the only brand in their catalog that had recognized, like, we all know e-news.

Everybody wanted to be on e-news growing up.

Like they could have evolved if there was problems, but like whoever canceled e-news, like a terrible idea.

Then they had this whole slate of morning programming, pop of the morning, daily pop, nightly pop.

They...

Pop of the morning was literally forlorn.

It was the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

And I love him, but like, why the fuck was Victor Cruz the host?

He's a a former football player.

Like, what the fuck does he know about the Kardashians?

Like, it made no sense.

And they never really ever lean into digital culture.

You know, they have the rundown, which is like their Snapchat thing.

And they're always bringing on like podcasters and TikTokers to do it.

But like, they need to bring that energy to cable because nobody is really caring about most of the talent that they procure.

But having said that, in the last couple of years, they've done a good job of finding good talent.

Justin, Morgan, Nina, Hunter.

And so not only have they canceled their shows, but like they really never like nurtured that.

They really should have like been putting more energy, more resources towards those four people because they were coming like, becoming like the new faces, like a younger generation of E,

and they just canceled it.

So like, what are they doing?

And what original shows do they even have anymore?

And why the Bradshaw bunch.

That's it.

Yeah.

It must be doing so well.

Like, I, I don't know.

I love Daily Pop.

I can't believe it's ending.

I don't know what their new strategy is.

Maybe they're going to focus more on nighttime share, but, like, then why not nightly pop?

Also, E's whole thing is, you know, pop of culture.

So we were getting pop in the morning and pop in the evenings.

Like, are they also going to do a whole nother rebrand?

We all just got used to pop.

Like.

It's so silly.

It feels like every few years there's like a reorg.

And what we're all like, when there's an internal reorg, we're not supposed to really feel it or know about it.

But it's like every single few years, they're taking us along this with them.

I can't imagine what it's like to be working there, to be one of the hosts.

Did everyone know that this was coming?

Did people find out in the news?

I don't know.

And what does this mean for some of our faves?

Like, Morgan still does necessary realness.

So is she still technically with E?

What does this mean for Justin?

I mean, Justin has been doing, you know, like almost now, like maybe monthly or weekly spots on the Today Show.

He's amazing.

He's so funny.

I hope if there's a job there for him, they give it to him because like, honestly, E has all these talented people and their talents are going to waste.

E does not appreciate them.

E is moronic.

They are not in tune with what's necessary.

And it's so shocking to me that like out of all this crap they've been throwing at the wall these last few years, they actually got two really substantial shows that were good, that had a good following.

And

they're just canceling it after they made all this progress.

Like I literally don't understand.

Yeah, I mean,

I don't know what the ratings were, but maybe there was like a dip because I don't think you would cancel like the most watched show.

But like, and can I tell you we reformulate

if there was a dip in ratings, and I don't think either of the shows had like the highest of ratings.

And I want to tell you that has nothing to do with the format of the show or the host.

It has everything to do with E now having this horrendous reputation of being like the messy network.

Like, honestly, they're giving Demi Lovato every few years, like, no, this is the real us.

We're going to be this.

Yeah, I agree.

It's like, well, what are you?

Also, I I feel like now, especially without e-news and now, especially without Daily Pop and Nightly Pop, like they're just like an Instagram account.

Rom-com.

They're an Instagram account with the posts.

Like, they're an influencer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, every

channel has a brand, you know?

And you know what you're going to get on that.

Like on Bravo, you know, you're going to get reality shows mostly centered in big cities around different subcultures.

You know what you're going to get.

You turn on sci-fi, you know what you're going to get.

You turn on

VH1, you know what you're going to get.

Now it's like you turn on E and you're like, what the fuck is going on?

Like it's a Zoom show with Kevin Hart in people's closets

or it's a sweet home, Alabama.

Like what, what is your volume?

I know.

Well, they're

so messy.

What they'll say now is like they're going to figure it out and they're going to reorganize, but it's your...

But I thought they had figured it out five years ago with their new morning slate live from New York.

And they were doing like all female content.

Like every single show on their network was female focused.

It was like very cavalier, total bellas, total divas.

It was all female shows.

That was Lady Gang.

But

that didn't work.

I firmly believe like Lady Gang was not given a good enough, long enough shot because I think that show had legs.

Yeah.

So

I don't know.

Yeah, and I just thought I was like, okay, give them a minute.

You're taking for the first time ever podcast and making it into a television show.

It takes time for people to adjust.

Like, it's not, maybe the first season is not going to break the record.

Clardia.

Busy Phillips.

Yes.

Ooh.

Busy Phillips.

They've just been dropping the ball for years.

Clardia.

Busy Phillips.

Yeah, Busy Phillips.

And it's just sad that the network that I think, like, as millennial women used to grow up and everyone's dream job was to like be on e-news, be the next day.

The dream is dead.

Yeah, you couldn't pay me.

And you know what?

I'm actually really happy in a sense if this canceling of the show gives Justin and Morgan like more freedom because I do think those jobs, like they keep you really busy.

They're really restrictive in terms of what else you can do.

Your contract is really tight.

I don't think you can be out here, you know, doing different partnerships and doing podcasts.

And the two of them, they're both so talented and so funny and people really love them.

So I hope that like...

in a way the show getting canceled releases them from their shackles.

Like, go do a podcast, do a web show.

Like, you're hilarious.

Yeah.

I wonder if they're still with E, though.

I don't know.

Necessary realness.

I know Justin has like a,

you know what?

They should really do

like a, like a Kelly and Ryan of E with Justin Morton.

Daily Pop.

And Morten doesn't want to do that.

Right, right.

Because she has kids.

Like, why don't they make it like a three o'clock show?

I mean, they obviously know a lot, a little bit more than us, like about viewer habits and stuff.

What time of the day?

Yeah.

So, I guess they'll be doing this nightly show.

They're going to put everything into a big nightly program.

And I would hope that they're using the talent that they have, the talent that people like and want to see.

But one would hope.

Then, why not just revamp nightly pop and make it, you know, an hour and a different setup, different format?

No, this is like E is embarrassing.

This is the episode of Embarrassments.

Everyone is out here embarrassing.

Yeah,

Olivia Wilde.

The E stands for embarrassing.

Embarrassing entertainment.

I love that.

Well, those were the fast five.

And boy, were they juicy.

I mean, what a weekend.

What a weekend.

And we'll have more for you tomorrow.

And

it's not, it's far from over.

Would we like to be able to do that?

Game of Thrones, please.

Game of Thrones.

Okay.

So episode two of the House of the Dragon was last night.

It was one of those episodes, you know, when you get, you know, if you're familiar with Game of Thrones, you know that there's two types of episodes.

One is, you know, where lots of explosive things happen, plot twists, huge moments.

And the others are episodes that set the groundwork.

They really settle, you know, move things around so that those big explosive moments can happen.

And last night was very much, you know, like a setting.

a setting of the scenes.

It wasn't that explosive, but you know, like things that happen in this episode, maybe in episode five, like something fucking crazy will happen.

And it'll be because, you know, we staged it in episode two.

So it wasn't crazy but i think obviously the big takeaways were one that the king has decided to marry that brunette girly as opposed to the child which

on one hand i was relieved he wasn't marrying lena the 12-year-old because it was disgusting

and on the other hand i'm upset you know for rhiniera her bestie it was a

stepmother

and you know She was making such good progress with her dad.

I do feel like if she

ends up up having, you know, some sort of break with her dad, like it will be detrimental for the realm.

And

he's trying and she's trying, but he lied to her and he betrayed her.

And he didn't even have the decency to tell her when they were having the conversation about remarriage that he was thinking about marrying her brunette bestie.

So I do feel like this is a huge, huge betrayal for her and is perhaps going to lead to

her

cutting off her dad, which is not going to be good.

No, it will lead her right into Damon's arms.

I do wonder if, like, their end game, I don't know.

You also have to, like, just

suspend some of the things that you think are

weird, uncle, little uncle Lovin, and the 12-year-old.

So, but I mean, we should have married lane.

They're not the same.

Jackie, I can separate uncle

and non-uncle.

Like, I can separate and she's.

So, you're okay with incest, but you're not okay with like blurry pedophilia.

Yeah, am I crazy that pedophilia isn't bad till she was 14.

Oh, how gracious of him.

I was not into that.

I got why it made sense, the merging of powerful homes, Valeria and Targaryen.

And when they cut to, when they were saying they have a kid, I'm like, and rage coming young and I thought that Lena was in the first episode.

She was, but I'm like, oh, they must have another daughter.

And I don't remember her being so young.

I thought she was like Rhiniera's age, just a little little young, but not

a lot of you.

I thought she was like 15.

When they were like, we have a daughter, I'm like, oh, we must not have met that one yet because it can't be the toddler from the tourney.

The toddler from the tunnel.

But it was.

It was the toddler from the tourney.

And I'm like, this is disgusting.

So on one hand, I'm like sad that Rhaniera has been betrayed.

But on the other hand, I'm grateful that that young lady Lena has been saved from a lifetime of misery with this old, ugly king.

Yeah, who's not doing doing well, about to lose a digit.

Ooh, the digit with the maggots.

That was really disposable.

Okay, but also time is moving so quickly, quicker than it ever moved.

The mom died six months ago.

Okay, mom died six months ago.

Did you watch a preview for next week?

No.

A baby is born.

And he has a full head of blonde, Targaryen hair.

Who?

Wait, who is a baby?

Allicent.

In the preview.

All right, can you stop spoiling?

It's not a spoiler.

In the previews for next week.

No, it is.

I didn't want to.

In the previews for next week, there's a

Damn.

Well, I love when.

Well, I love when things move fast because

one, more happens, and two, like in these old-timey worlds, like it would take a month for them to go to Dragonstone.

So I'm grateful I didn't have to wait.

Like next year's episode is like three years later.

Damn, that's actually.

But you know what?

Maybe it's like now it's really a Game of Thrones because Allison's son,

right now, he exists and he would, he usurps Rhaeniera that will force Rhaeniera to do something else into David's arms no are you shipping now I'm a picture I am kind of shipping and so maybe these first two episodes were kind of like the prequel to now the story begins

that's a good call maybe

and this episode I was like actually really vibing with the king like he thought it was weird about the 12-year-old he understood why it was good but he also thought it was weird um he wanted to prioritize his relationship with his daughter he apologized apologized for not being so communicative after his mom died.

He apologized that as a part of his job, he has to remarry.

Like I was really on his side until he ended up handling it so poorly.

Like, yes, I agree.

And I think the king is a good guy, but he's not a great king because he's not like strong.

in his convictions and he doesn't have that many convictions.

But there's something about this like episode of Game of Thrones where it's like we're watching like a father trying to bond with his teenage daughter, like a king try, like, who cares?

It feels like we're watching, you know, a rom-com rom-com from 2022 of like you know a single father trying to bond with his daughter

you know what if you're right about these two episodes kind of like being the prequel then that actually makes sense because we'd need to understand how and why rhinera would then betray her father and turn to okay fine but it was giving like they don't talk about their feelings in the medieval ages

Yeah, even though I did like love that the dad was like very, you know, communicative.

But it's just like, you know, interested in renewables everyone in the medieval times was like so he's so 2022 like tell me about your feelings

yeah the dad is weak like he's not the he's nothing of the sort yeah somebody lied to him several times and told him at least he's not evil and he's nothing like that he's nothing in the game of thrones like you could get a joffrey you could get a ramsey

oh you know who i wanted to fucking slap the woman Auntie.

Okay.

The queen that never was.

Shut up, Wens.

I have two things to say.

I think that there's two really bad actresses in the show who are kind of bringing it down.

I think she's a bad actress.

I agree.

And I think the whore is a bad actress.

Oh, Jackie, that was my next point.

First of all, she was being such a bad actress when they went back inside after the dragon and thing.

And completely.

I don't want to be here.

She doesn't want to be his wife.

Yeah, and it was like, I was running away.

And he was like, from what?

And in the worst acting I've ever seen,

fear.

What?

I agree.

And that's something that game of thrones has always consistently been above i cannot tell you an actor who was miscast or who did a bad job on game of thrones i cannot the whore has to go no i agree and like in the game of thrones of yore we would never be hearing like the horse

the horse feelings

right the horse feelings are irrelevant agreed

And Damon, who's like very volatile, yeah, he's sitting there listening.

That would never happen.

It's just like a little, so unrealistic.

And it's too many feelings.

Like Game of Thrones is, you know,

you live or you die.

You don't feel.

No, like in the regular show, if the horror went on and on about her feelings, she'd be put to death.

Dead on the spike.

Yeah, like, stop talking, Wench.

So I thought that was weird too.

And when Rhaniera came in on the dragon, I was like, queen being queen, she's giving Danny Targaryen.

She's everything of the sort.

Damon loves her because he finally gave her back the egg.

I ship.

Romance at its finest.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But the queen that never was his husband is really pissing me off.

Even though he's not wrong,

and the crab.

You can't sit idly by while the free cities, you can't.

But my God, like, chilling.

And it's also like

he's in a very high position of power.

Everyone around the table is like jockeying to be on the iron throne, but it's like, is anyone just fucking happy with their station?

It's like, okay, I don't want the pressure of being king.

I've got a great life.

I've got my own castle.

I'm not going to make every move in my life trying to get me or a family member on the throne.

Yeah.

No, nobody feels that way.

And it's not fair because nobody really cares about the free city thing because it doesn't affect them yet, but it really affects him because he's like, you know, the house of the sails, the sailor, the sailors, the sea.

So it's going to affect him first, but then it's going to affect the rest of the world.

That's like John in the wall.

That's like John in the wall.

Yeah.

Right.

exactly.

So it's not fair, and of course, I knew he was gonna go to Damon.

Like, maybe Damon will do something about it, but then I did love how he was like, Don't talk shit about my family.

Only I'll allow to talk about it.

You were right about Damon.

I need to go where you watched the first episode, and like, oh my god, not me being right about something, period, and especially about Game of Thrones, because, like, I'm so dumb.

People will be like, You didn't see that coming?

I was like, I had no idea.

I thought that in the first episode, like, the small council was just a bunch of like weak losers, but not nefarious actors.

Otto Hightower, like, is Littlefinger.

otto that's but i ben said the exact same thing who was that chubby man that he that the king went to for his un

he sits on the small biased opinion i don't know who he is exactly but he's a he's a good guy one of the good ones

um so all in all it was like a fine episode nothing crazy happened but not every episode can be crazy obviously and we need to we needed to set the scene for this week so it was setting the scene in the middle of the episode Zach was like, this shit sucks.

I was like, remember how slow it was?

No one remembers how slow season one was because nobody watched season one week to week.

But imagine watching that week to week.

You would have never stuck with it.

No, and I still thought it was good.

It's better than most seasonals.

It's better than Umbreys, but it's a little, it's a lot of feelings for Westerns.

Because we're only focused on one family, it's a lot of the same people.

Whereas like even a boring episode of Lord of Thrones, you would get Winterfell.

You would get The Wall.

You you would get King's Landing, you would get Aria, you would get a lot of different updates from different people.

And on this show, it's one family.

So it's just a lot of the same people.

That's why it might be

the whole time.

Right.

True that.

So I loved it.

I love the recaps.

They're so much fun with you, Sissy Pooh.

And I think it's time to unburden ourselves.

Let's do it.

I can't wait for you guys to unburden yourselves.

Every Monday, we are doing Unburden Yourselves, which is a segment where you guys can write in about something you went through this week that is weighing so heavily on you that the only way to get rid of the burden is to hand it over to us.

You can email us, unburdenyourselves at gmail.com, and it is brought to you by

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All right, ready to unburden yourself?

Hello, Jackson Claude.

I've been keeping this in and I need to unburden myself.

During quarantine, I was living with my parents and I stumbled upon something interesting.

I was home alone and I wanted to do some karaoke.

I wrote this in.

My mom's laptop was downstairs and mine was upstairs, so I just use hers for YouTube because I'm lazy and she doesn't mind if I use it.

I went into her history for some reason and saw multiple fully watched gay porn videos.

Although there's nothing wrong with that, of course, my mom is very religious,

she has very traditional views, and this was the last thing I expected.

Also, who uses YouTube for porn?

I mean, I know she was probably curious, but I couldn't look at her the same way for days.

I got over it, but it still lurks in my mind every now and then.

You just got to un that burden and forget about it.

Yeah, I think you truly never know someone, even if it's your own mother, you know, that's the taste.

Yeah, and it wasn't meant for you to know, so you just need to unknow it now.

Right.

And you don't know what the context of like why she was searching for it is, you know, maybe she met someone who was like, I'm a gay porn actor, so she was like wanting to see his work.

You never know.

Like things happen.

It's not probably she was watching gay porn, but if we're right, let's

could have been other stuff too.

And you just have to forget about it.

Yeah, and I think obviously you shouldn't be thinking about the fact that your mom watches gay porn.

But if anything, perhaps you might have a little, you know, respect for her.

Like, wow, she's more open-minded than I thought.

I underestimated my mom.

I thought she was this religious, traditional, closed-minded person, but she's actually

a lover of gay porn.

A curious queen.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but again, it's obviously awkward.

Just try not to think about it.

Just try not to think about it.

And just know, like, even moms have secrets.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, Jackson Claude, I love you both, and I really need to unburden myself.

Two weeks ago, my coworker and I had to glue together 200 invites for an upcoming work event.

While gluing the cards, I drew a dick on the invite thinking that the glue would just dry clear.

My coworker and I both laughed and thought it was okay to send.

Well, my boss just sent us a text with a picture of the invite and the dick that was clearly still on it.

The glue did not dry clear.

It's just me and my coworker that glued these invitations, so I must own up to my cute little drawing and tell my boss that it was me.

I am so embarrassed, I don't even know how to respond to him.

Love a girl who might be jealous.

Just own up to it, you know, things happen.

And the fact that, like, your boss is a male, like, just makes it like a little more.

Like, I think a girly might be able to laugh at it.

But this is like makes it weird.

Yeah, this is just awkward.

It's just unfortunate.

It's unfortunate, like just zoom out, you know?

Zoom out and be grateful that he sent you the invitation while it was still on his desk, not when, you know, the CEO.

Exactly.

It always can be worse.

And it's just a silly little thing.

Just be really apologetic.

Be like, oh my God, I totally thought it would dry clear.

This is so unprofessional.

I would never do it again.

I'm really sorry.

Like, it's always important when you're getting in trouble before you actually get yelled at to totally acknowledge that you were wrong, apologize, admit why it was wrong, and say it'll never happen again.

Because Because then the person who's about to yell at you, like,

they're neutral.

You've already said it.

You've already said it.

You've said everything that you're doing.

You neutralize the threat.

And this is just a lesson, obviously.

You never know what glue is going to look like.

And perhaps leave drawings of dicks to your personal items.

Into your personal life, you know?

Personal affairs.

If you're in the workplace, like no situation.

Unless you're working in gay porn, like, should you be drawing dicks?

Right.

Unless you're storyboarding for gay porn.

Or you work at like a dildo factory and you're coming up with designs, yeah.

A new prototype.

Yeah.

You could say to your boss, like, I have a part-time job at the dildo factory.

And I just got my gay pornography.

I'm so sorry.

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

This

is bad, but if you just own up to it, I don't think it's a fireball offense.

Hopefully, your boss is like young and funny and cool.

If he's like old and stuffy, I mean, that's going to be awkward.

But he sounds like if he texted it to you, that means he's young because older people don't know how to send text, let alone photos.

Yes, obviously.

True that.

So it sounds like he's young, and obviously he went to college.

Everyone used to draw dicks everywhere.

It's fine.

It's fine.

All right, are you ready for a third final?

Hello, Jax Claude Rasenstrass.

I have been holding onto this for two months, and I cannot seem to get the awful cringe out of my head.

I'll keep it short and not so sweet.

Earlier this summer, my parents were throwing a party and needed to borrow some of my patio furniture so their guests had places to sit.

No problem at all.

I got up early, knowing my dad would be over to grab the chairs and the table.

I worked out.

I took a full shower, you know, shaved everything, deep conditioning, one of those.

Flash forward, my dad stops by.

He's loading up the furniture and he asked to use my bathroom before he heads back home.

I obviously had told him to go right ahead.

I sat on the couch to watch TikToks or something.

About an hour later, I had to pee, so I walked into my bathroom to find that I had left the shower curtain open and the floor of my bathroom is, of the floor of my bathtub, is covered in tiny little hairs.

Not only from my legs, but my pubes were just sitting there staring back at me.

The drain must have backed up.

I was mortified.

I stood in shock until I mustered up the courage to text my mom and ask if dad mentioned anything about my bathroom.

Thankfully, he didn't say anything to her, but I can't stop thinking about the fact that my dad probably thinks I shaved a ginormous bush in time for their summer bash.

Thanks, a clean but regretful toaster.

Oh, it's okay.

It's just your dad.

And like, he doesn't know what hairs, what hair.

Yeah.

I don't think like a grown dad would look at a bathtub full of shower and think pubes.

Men, first of all, are not even that perceptive.

perceptive.

He probably didn't even look in the tub.

Like he wasn't even, and if he did see it, he would think, oh, maybe, you know, your husband shaved his beard.

When men see hairs like that, they think how it happens for them.

When they shave their beard in the sink, you know, they get the hairs everywhere.

Yeah, I think there's just a human.

And it could have been so many hairs.

It could have been armpit hair, could have been like hair.

You could have given yourself a little trim of your red hair.

So just keep that in your head as like, if you ever, if it ever comes up, be like, dad, I cut my hair.

Yeah, men don't see hair at the bottom bottom of a tub and think pubes.

I really don't think that they do.

Also, it's like, okay, so if he knew that it was your pubes, like, okay.

No, if he knew it was your pubes, like, I understand.

No, it's like, it's not.

Yes, it's, it's, it's embarrassing, but it's like, not a big deal.

Like, no one got hurt.

Everything's okay.

Yeah.

Well, you know, that actually had me thinking something I was thinking while getting ready this morning that I wanted to just like hopefully bring up in conversation.

And now it actually does.

Because, you know, I get all the time.

people are always like oh my god i'm so jealous of your hair it's so thick it's so healthy it's so shiny and it is it is all of those things but the next time you're feeling bad about not having like thick healthy hair just know that like the hair on my head and like that energy that the hair brings like brings itself in my armpits and my legs too you know yeah so if you have fair hair just know like you don't have some of the problems i have okay that's I just I don't know why I was thinking about that but I was like because I looked down I'm like I shaved my legs a couple weeks ago and now I'm like fully hairy I'm like I have to shave my legs again a couple this is the the price I pay for having, you know, gorgeous follicles.

No, I would say anyone who's shaving every few weeks.

Oh, sorry.

A few days.

Oh, okay.

No, like three days and my hairs are back to being fully grown on my legs.

Yeah.

It's so annoying.

It's so annoying.

It never ends.

And like if I have my armpits lasered and it was one of the best things I ever did.

Because it totally truly works.

But the surface area of lasering my armpits is one 100th of the the surface area of my legs, especially if I'm doing my thighs.

So it's just so tedious and so painful.

Like there has to be a better way.

Yeah.

Lasering my upper lip, perfect.

It's a small piece of skin.

My armpits, perfect.

My legs?

My legs, first of all, are huge.

It's a lot of time, energy, pain.

And there's like no better way.

No.

And I sure as fuck am not going to wax my legs.

I just think that's insane.

No, and I've like waxed my legs a few times and I didn't even find it to be that effective.

Like all the hairs grow in different directions, maybe because I've shaved for so long that like it doesn't, it wasn't even really that smooth after.

Yeah, they're like the hair removal industry needs to evolve.

I feel like we've been stuck with the same options for a while.

Like tweezing, threading, waxing, lasering.

You could nair.

That's pretty new technology.

So smelly.

And weird.

And unnatural.

I don't know.

Something about it freaks me out.

Yeah, no, it's like Chernobyl.

It's like top sick.

I was like, why don't i just take a torch a flame torch what's it called a flamethrower and torch the hair on my legs nair seems very chemical and i'm not even like you know clean beauty girl like i don't care what the is in my lipstick but nair crosses a line it's toxic have you smelled it no i know it's giving chernobyl it smells like chernobyl

so i just feel like you know the hair removal industry has gotten comfortable with the options and i think they need to continue evolving maybe a pill.

But see, a pill stop the hair on your head.

Right, and I like the hair growth on my head, and that's it.

Everywhere below my head, bald, please.

Maybe a pill that stops hair growth, but with an accompanying serum that you put in your scalp to nullify, counteract, to nullify the effects on the scalp.

Yeah, I like that.

Get to work.

Me?

Yeah, figure it out.

Formulate.

Scientific toasters.

Free idea.

Go patent it.

Yeah, I'll be your number one customer.

Yeah, we'll do ads for free.

For free.

So that was Unburden Yourselves.

If you guys want to write in and have us change your lives, unburden yourselves at gmail.com.

That is our show.

We are well over an hour and a half.

We do have to be able to do it.

I have to pee so badly.

Like, I've been in pain for the last 30 minutes.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Chase of Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So everybody watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts and whatever podcasts we found at Spotify, Just to probably read our audience books, all the ways.

Okay, Jackie's to be.

Goodbye, everyone.

Have a great day.

We'll see you tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

I love y'all.

Tomorrow.

Bye.