S5 Ep100: Samson, Delilah and Babbel: Friday, July 29th, 2022

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Hey, Zach!

Are you smiling at my gorgeous canyon view?

No, Donald.

I'm smiling because I've got something I want to tell the whole world.

Well, do it.

Shout it out.

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Minutes!

Whoa, I love that echo.

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Look at that, Zach.

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Yes, T-Mobile home internet for the neighborhood.

McDonald's, you still haven't returned my weed whacker.

Carl, don't you embarrass me like this, please?

What's everyone yelling about?

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McDonald's got my weed whacker!

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast and happy

Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on Friday.

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend, weekend which really reminds me i actually had a question for you which seat cannot take

that one that's your seat that's your side thank you so much i know it's confusing welcome back to the morning toast everyone happy friday hope everyone's has

had an amazing week is having a great kickoff to their friday and you probably are if you're watching the morning toast you definitely are if you're watching the morning toast we're wrapping up week one of florida week but i think we're moving into week two i know and like week two is going to be to be crazy.

Let me tell you why.

Well, first of all, Claudia's not going home this weekend.

No, no, no.

I feel like I thought that you probably would.

I thought you would be tired of us.

I don't know.

Tired of this town.

Like have a plan, but like the other night, like maybe last night, Ben like brought up the fact that he like,

you know, like, when are we going home?

And I'm like, what are you doing?

Like, shut up.

He was talking about going home.

Yeah.

I'm like, what?

It's not the time.

It's not the time.

It's really not the time.

My nibbling need you.

I have literally nothing to do at home and I'm being so fucking productive here.

You are.

So, um, but it's also gonna be like a crazy week next week.

Let me tell you why.

There is potential that we win the lottery tonight.

So honestly, if that who knows if we'll actually be here on Monday.

If you won the lottery, you might have jetted out.

If you won the lottery, would you still do the toast?

I was just having this conversation with Shapiro because we were talking about like, we'd all quit our jobs.

And I was like,

no, I actually like my job, but I might do it once a week.

Okay, yeah.

And also, you like like the fame, you know?

Yeah, right.

So I would never step back from the spotlight.

No, like you do this for the fame and the fortune and the art.

And even if the fortune came, like you still want the fame, but then you could just be like a famous lottery winner.

Right.

Which is like kind of tacky, but I'm okay with it.

But you could pivot the podcast to like, how I spend my earnings today.

Right.

Or we could launch a new podcast at TNN, like how I'm spending my earnings.

Yeah.

Like I keep bringing it up, my lottery dream house, my lottery podcast.

Yeah.

That would be the inspiration.

Cause, and honestly, my co-host needs to be like the tattooed gay guy who hosts My Lottery Dream Home.

He's so funny.

And he's like, so I'm out of of a job?

Oh, for you win the lottery and I'm out of a job.

That's not going to work.

Sorry, I was like so busy making everything about me.

I forgot you also would be winning the lottery.

Oh, yeah, I would be.

Right.

Actually, you didn't send me the $20 yet for the tickets.

So

you do Venmo?

I take QuickPay, Venmo, Cash App, Zelle.

I would quick pay you, but I don't want to like log into my bank on the show.

So totally, like some hacker is going to like figure out.

Yeah.

And then you'll have to give up your house.

And you're just moved in.

I know.

With our new premium video, like you guys could see.

Also, next week is going to be

so crazy because we just have like, you know, so many things being delivered.

Like, this set is just going to be constantly changing.

It has been this week.

Yeah, I don't want to overpromise.

No, I just think there might be a new fresh look on Monday.

There might be.

Or Tuesday.

Or hump day.

Which would be a really good day for change.

Yeah.

So I actually had a list of things.

Where's my phone?

But also, I just want to say that not only is it Friday, it is Stry Day.

And I feel like we're not appreciating the fact that like Florida Toast means bras and strass on the ones and twos every single day it used to just be like a special occasion i think it only ever happened twice in new york where it was both boys on a strid and now it's every day is striday

and it also happens to be friday which just makes it so much better yeah you know that's why it's friday right but would you say it's friday if both the boys were in on tuesday no did i say it on tuesday i don't remember you're always like larping i can't keep track no it's striday is only when bryce and strice are in the studio the strice brothers are here on a friday then it's friday got it got it got it um pretty simple to me Extremely simple.

I had just like a list of things I wanted to talk about.

One was a lottery, like just warning people, like, if there's no show on Monday, it's because we won.

Two, yesterday, we dropped a vlog on our Patreon that was literally getting such rave reviews.

When I was editing it, I was like, is this too chaotic?

But people were craving the chaotic energy.

Maybe it's because Claire Crawley has taken a step back from public life that people are craving chaotic energy.

And basically, Olivia, Jackie, me, and Roldini all went on an afternoon outing to Publix where we all had our very first pub sub

and we did a whole taste test.

It was like a mukbang, a vlog, a

food review, and a family-friendly TV show all in one.

And the reviews on the pub sub are extremely mixed.

So if you're one of those people who's like pub subs are your personality, you might be triggered and you might weaponize that against us,

resulting in us having to gaslight you.

And body shame.

So patreon.com slash morning toast we still have one more episode dropping this month and it's going to be family-friendly fun because all steens are well i forgot to cut that out um because olivia's here jackie's here spiro's here wine grab's here ben's here theo's here rice is here roll is here i miss that snatchler though and you know what she misses us too have you spoken to her no actually because i said i spoke to her and i was like do you like miss us do you care you're having fomo yeah and she said Yes, I can't watch your stories.

And that's when you know it's cutting her.

Why doesn't she come for the weekend or something?

She's like so fucking busy now.

I know that like if she was actually doing nothing this weekend, she would come.

That's so snatchless.

She's just in that phase of her life where like her summer weekends are like fully planned out, like trips to the Cape, clam bakes, you know, etc.

It's hard to get on her schedule, maybe in the fall.

It's so hard to get on Council's schedule.

Yeah, and we didn't prepare.

Also, while you're enjoying this, if you're looking for something to do afterwards, our episode of Breaking Bread that we recorded live on Wednesday is now available on Spotify for anyone to enjoy and consume.

Oh, that's a funny one.

That one's really funny.

And then yesterday, when we were talking about glee on the podcast, I actually FaceTimed you yesterday to tell you this, but then I'm like, you know what, let me save it for the podcast.

Okay.

We were talking about, you know, quickly glee yesterday on the podcast.

As we always do.

As we always do, talking about, you know, how New Directions really wasn't.

the best name for the group.

And I didn't even realize, even though maybe I did, that, you know, so many former Glee cast members are toasters.

And I got a message, actually a voice memo from Jenna Ushkwitz, who played Tina.

And she was like, first of all, love the toast, getting me through postpartum life.

And I'm like, like yes queen fellow pp mama and she said like i was dying listening to the conversation because like they literally called it new directions because it sounds like nude erections

i saw that yesterday but i also saw that like someone just said it sounds like new directions and so i wrote back i'm like is that like a purposeful thing are you with me or it's just like a happen she was like no like that's literally why but then i also saw a comment that someone said that the creators like his hometown glee club was called new directions i saw that too but i'm gonna choose to believe Jenna Ushkowitz.

100%.

I'm going to choose to believe eyewitnesses.

Right, right.

Not comments.

Not comments.

If I trusted every comment I read, I would be big yikes all the time.

The only thing worse than yikes is big yikes.

Big yikes.

Claudia moji.

Claudia texted me yesterday morning, just big yikes.

Because that's like the evolution of people starting to use yikes as like a condescending term on the internet has evolved into big yikes being like the worst version of it.

and could i just say ever since we've kind of like spoken about the stigma of yikes like people have been messaging it to me like as a joke obviously and it doesn't like scare me any less like seeing yikes in my message even if it's a hundred percent like obviously referencing a joke and this person is like a true toaster i still get a pit i'm like oh my god i'm literally being canceled yeah no their comments on um the picture of you dead there was a really funny comment appropriating the dead yikes and at first i was like

and then i laughed yeah but honestly like like, part of me wishes we never brought it up.

No, I think we're taking the scariness out of the words.

We're taking the power out of the words.

And we're taking our power back.

We are taking our power back.

And maybe by talking about how jokey all of these big, bad words have become, like, we can eventually give them their power back and not abuse them.

100%.

100%.

That's what we're trying to do here.

Just no small feat, just trying to change the world.

Just trying to like give the power back to language and change how people speak.

You know, I like, I'm actually really triggered by like the word language.

I love it.

I'm obsessed with languages and the idea of languages and obviously the tower of Babel.

Oh, Babel's today's sponsor.

Should I do it now?

Yeah, you have to.

This conversation about languages right now is brought to you by Babel.

And also I have a really interesting story to share about languages, which is why I brought it up.

Okay.

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Now, what I was going to say as to why I'm triggered by the word language, because when I was a freshman at NYU,

you have to take like a certain amount of class accredits in certain schools, like arts and sciences, like for like the basic ones.

So you just choose random classes that you think are going to be easy that don't pertain to your major.

And Olivia was a senior at NYU and she also had to

do like an arts and science.

So we decided to take one together.

And the class, we could not have chosen a worse class.

It was called linguistics, linguistics, colon, languages of the world.

So I thought it was just going to be like, you know, what do they speak in Brazil?

Brazilian, you know?

I'm kidding.

I know it's Portuguese.

So we thought it was going to be so easy.

We literally,

I don't even, I can't even tell you what it was about.

I had no idea what was going on.

Literally, the class wasn't even taught in English.

Like we were writing in hieroglyphics.

Like I was so confused and I failed.

It's like the only class I've ever failed and I didn't get the credits.

And I think Olivia, not to like blow up her spot, got like a C, which I was glad to take the F because like if she she was graduating, she wouldn't have gotten the credits if she got an F.

So like I took it for her.

Yeah.

And there was another girl in our class who had like a job lined up at Morgan Stanley.

She was like a big Stern School of Business Girly and literally she failed and like couldn't graduate.

It was the hardest class.

So honestly, like every time we do a Read for Babel, I'm triggered because I'm just reminded of like the languages of the world that I don't know.

And every time we do a Read for Babel, I am

joyous because it reminds me of the Tower of Babel, that biblical story.

And I just think there are so many metaphorical applications for the Tower of Babel in everyday life.

That's so funny.

You know what biblical story I find like myself applying to everyday life?

Samson and Delilah.

And like the hair.

Oh my God.

I mean, how many influencers go for a Bob bob and cut off their power right but more often than not you go for a bob and it like transform you into into a sophisticated woman women oh my god i'm one of those people oh my god that's one of your biggest pet peeves when people miss it's not because i confused women and women it's because i can't fucking speak because i'm like omno

i have a clogged duck and i'm on well

yeah like i had i was getting a clogged duck once a week and then i went like a month without one and it just came back today

i know like after a long week i'm gonna massage it no after a long week i was looking forward to you know a nice relaxing Friday, Striday.

But the clog ducked.

Anyways, that's why I said women.

Okay.

It's okay.

You're literally entitled, mama.

Like, soon I'm going to be telling you when I'm on my period.

Oh, my God.

That's how contradictory I've become.

Now I've gotten to a place where every time I see an influencer posting about their period, like I will send it in our Steen's chat.

I need to know.

Yeah.

I need to know.

Anyways.

Babel, Samson, Delilah.

Yeah, most influencers, when you go for, or just people in general, I think going for a Bob is like a way to take you like just to a new sophisticated new level of place in your life.

But sometimes people cut off their power a la samson a la samson big yikes big yikes samson yeek um

so that's like a biblical story that i find like really um like applies to everyday life like and it's not only always about hair but like everyone has a thing like samson had that makes them who they are yeah and then a person a delilah will come in and take it from them yeah i always forget about the delilah in that story she literally cut his hair i thought it was like yeah no when you think about it yeah i just think about samson and his hair she's like a jezebel big time And you know what they say about Jezebel?

Jezebel don't even stand a chance.

We're literally such Bible girls.

Bible girls.

And that's the cool thing about that album.

It's extremely biblical.

And like, what album?

Kanye.

Oh, sorry.

I forgot we were talking about music.

Like when he thought the book of Job was a job, but now he can appreciate the story of Job.

I thought you were going to say, which is what I'm going to say.

And that's the cool thing about like the Bible is that while we are Jewish, like all of our Christian and Catholic toasters like know the story because like part of it is the same book.

Yeah.

So we're just like bringing people together through religion.

That's us.

So we've got a great show.

Five stories.

Before we get into them, though, we need to talk about something like really major that's happening on your couch.

What?

Pearls.

Yeah, I'm wearing pearls.

Claudia is wearing a string of pearls to coordinate with the pearl buttons on her cardigan.

Who is she?

She's a suburban mama.

Oh my God, I did not realize that.

She's going to lunch with the ladies.

At the club.

At the club, and then they're going to do like a little book club and have a glass of chardonnay a crisp glass i didn't realize you were like so taken with my outfit well every day you've shown up to my house like right as i'm finishing my makeup before i get dressed and like you're coming in these looks and i'm like ready to put on merch every day i'm like fuck i have to get dressed well let me say i have officially plowed my way through olivia's closet like sweater is mine this is everything i'm wearing today is mine i've like tried on everything that i like and would fit me and i feel like i'm pretty much at the end of my rope now so i have to go to into my own closet and i absolutely have to go to the mall this weekend like to get some clothing

um And this is a sweater.

I was telling Olivia like I've never until I try stuff on.

Same.

I've never ordered from Princess Polly before, have you?

No, but the Snatcher is getting me close.

So Remy Bader got me close because like there was cute clothing that looked like it would fit me.

So I ordered and I've loved everything I purchased from there and they, their sizes run big.

And there's just something about something running big that makes me feel so like teeny tiny, you know?

And I was telling Olivia, I'm like, you should order.

It's like reasonably priced and it's great.

So I really enjoy it.

And so I got this sweater from there and I like, I'm not sure when the right time to wear it was.

And I happened to have packed my pearl necklace, not the one Ben gave to me, the one I bought myself.

And I've been watching too much Drag Race.

Oh my god, Drag Race finale time.

No, the winner was announced.

Wait.

Wait.

The winner was announced and I know who it is.

Don't say it.

Okay.

Wait, how did I literally skip a spoiler?

I saw it when I was looking for stories this morning.

It said the winner was announced and I actually clicked it to see if I won.

But don't tell me if you did.

The most annoying thing is like, it's Paramount Plus.

So I think the episodes come out Friday.

I'm so used to it being on cable every Friday night, but I think they drop it like midnight on Thursday.

I hate, this is what I hate about the streamers, like Kardashians.

There's no catch-up.

Like people need a minute.

If it's on at 9 p.m., like people can watch it and then go to bed.

But if it comes out at midnight, we're not teenagers who are staying up like till one in the morning to watch something.

Oh my God, fuck, I'm so annoyed.

I really hope drinks monsoon one.

I'm not looking at your face.

But I forget the point I was trying to to make before, but thank you.

I like my sweater too.

And I like your Fanny Skims jacket.

Thank you.

I just really realized that it's reversible, so now I'm wearing it like the other way.

I've worn it the other way.

And I'm also wearing Skims slippers.

So I'm just like Skims girl.

I will say I have worn like that material windbreaker on the podcast and it's really not a podcast friendly material if you talk with your hands a lot.

Okay, well since Bruno is on my lap and my hands are really cold.

It's okay, Bruno.

You're doing so good and mommy loves you so much.

Bruna.

Bruna, Bruna, Bruna.

Let me be your Bruna.

I wish there was a Thuma ad today, but there's not.

Damn.

There's going to be a Thuma ad in my house every single day soon because Snitch's bed is coming.

Oh, good.

What were you going to say?

I forgot.

About your jacket.

It's reversible.

You were like, well, Bruna, because we were talking about other materials, not good for podcasts.

Oh, well, since, no, no, Bruno, since he's on top of me, like, maybe I won't move so much.

He's holding you down metaphorically and emotionally and physically.

Just like the Tower of Babel keeps you humble.

And just like Delilah.

Also keeps you humble, unfortunately.

In an unfortunately, in an unfortunate way.

So that's really all the catching up I have to do.

What about you?

I think that's it.

Oh, I've been reading the book for the Redheads, A Flicker in the Dark.

I'm like 66% of the way through.

Will I like it?

So good.

Will I like it?

If you can stomach it, because it's extremely spooky.

Oh, you know, I like it.

Like about missing girls, but it's so good and twisty.

And I think I know what is the roundup.

I think I know, like, it's a whodunit.

I think I do know.

But I don't know.

The writing is so good.

It's like, it's so on point.

It might.

One of the best, we've read so many good Redheads books, but it's definitely the best thriller we've read at the Redheads.

I can't.

Let me tell you why.

I just had an experience that I meant to mention on the podcast.

I was reading one of my like really cute rom-coms when I told you about the two girls who marry movie stars.

And in one of the books, like the movie star's ex-husband, ex-wife has like a crazy stalker and the stalker breaks into the house.

And it wasn't like a particularly thrilling or like amazingly written book, but this particular scene where like the man breaks into the house was so real, I was quaking, even though it was like a very very light book.

That night, I heard something in my sleep and I flipped over and screamed.

And I was like, Ben, did you hear that?

I literally was having like night terrors because of this one scene in this romantic comedy.

And it wasn't meant to be that scary.

So I definitely can't read that book.

I'm not good with stuff like that.

Yeah.

No, last night I had multiple anxiety inducing dreams.

I wouldn't call them nightmares because they weren't like so crazy, but extreme.

Like I woke up like, oh my God, pita pata, pita pata.

One of them involved Theo.

I've already heard about the dream and it's very upsetting and I wish to not repeat it.

It was bad.

Theo, we're just glad to see Theo here today is all I can say.

He's literally been such a good boy.

Really enjoying the Florida life.

I'm so happy to hear that.

I finished a whole book in one day yesterday while finishing Hotel Nantucket.

I was reading so fast yesterday.

I read

Taylor Jenkins Reed, One True Loves.

Okay.

Really good.

Everyone was like, you're going to love it.

And I really did.

I think I gave it five stars.

And I've been really stingy about my five stars this year.

I think I've only given like two.

Yeah, I haven't given very many and I've only read Taylor Jenkins Reed's like historical fiction, you know, fake

famous people books.

Yeah, Evelyn Hugo.

Yeah.

Daisy Jones, you know, Halloween Rising.

But and I started one of hers that's like about regular people and I couldn't even finish it.

I really didn't like it.

One True Loves is like really cute, but it's also like it poses such an interesting, I can tell you the plot because tell me it's it happens right in the beginning.

So the main character gets married, love of her life, yada yada.

And he literally goes missing in a helicopter crash and dies.

So, she goes through the grief, she meets someone new, and like right before she's supposed to get married to that someone new, he turns up.

Like, he was never dead.

So, then she's like choosing between the two of them, and it's just like it's interesting.

And everyone lands on a different side.

Like, she chose right, she chose wrong.

I happen to agree with where she chose.

Did she make a choice?

Is this one of them?

It's not like I'm choosing me.

No, in the whole book, you know, she's gonna choose someone.

No, she doesn't choose me.

I would never enjoy it.

I'd never give a fuck five stars where someone chooses me.

That's such a cop-out.

Yeah.

No, you're choosing.

That's what I'm saying about choice.

I know.

You understand now what I was trying to say.

Do something.

Make a fucking choice.

Yeah.

Agreed.

She makes a choice and she doesn't make you wait terribly long.

I love it.

And you know what?

It's like, that's the thing about choices.

This is what I was trying to say.

Like, even if she chose the other person that you didn't necessarily agree with, like, she made her choice.

Yeah.

And it's okay.

You should read it.

It was really good and short.

My favorite.

Oh, okay.

I have.

So many books on my TBR, which is a good place to be because there was a time when I, there was nothing left for me to read.

I felt like I read every book.

We've been there.

So I'm happy to be in this place.

If you want to become a redhead, it's really the perfect time because this book is not just like, I think all the girls are really going to love it.

And now we're at three for three on like an amazing book streak.

And the book that Margo is choosing for next month, you've already read.

I think this is what she's choosing, but Snatcher gets so unpredictable.

If Snatcher doesn't choose it, like I'll be so mad.

It's a book that I'm obsessed with.

It's like trendy right now.

Yeah, right.

No, it's the perfect thing for her to choose.

It's a snitchy choice.

The thing about Snatcher, though, is she doesn't want to be controlled.

And she doesn't want to be predictable.

Right.

And so if she knows that I want her to pick something, like, she might swerve left.

No, she'll go out of her way not to choose it.

Just because it's her choice.

And at least she's making choices, you know?

That's the thing about choices.

But it is a book that I want to read and having it be a Redheads book will ensure that I do read it.

So I think it's the perfect time to become a Redhead, you guys.

It's like back to school season.

True.

It's such a vibe to like pick up a great book with the Redheads and then have a podcast to listen to where we make fun of it, even though we loved it.

100%.

That's what we do.

100%.

You know what else we do?

The fast five stories.

The fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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Great.

Okay, our first story,

Candace Cameron-Burray and Jojo Siwa Saga continues.

We also have been pronouncing her name wrong.

It's Candice Cameron Burr.

Burr.

I'll think about it.

I said Burr.

I just feel like I didn't get Beret out of nowhere because I would never pronounce B-U-R-E Beret.

Do you think I'm lying?

No, I just think the Instagram comment that told you that.

No, it's like 100% Candice Cameron Burr.

No, but like I heard Beret somewhere.

I'll try and transition, but we'll see.

Maybe you heard Beret when you were like sorting through Michaela's collection of hair clips and you were like, oh, what a cute beret.

Berette?

Anyways, Jojo.

Bere is a hat.

Brett is a clip.

Sorry.

It's very confusing.

Jojo was stopped at the gas station and asked about her recent feud with Candace.

Jojo said that she didn't share all of the details of the meeting after confirming the actress did call her after their recent feud.

She said, quote, we did speak on the phone.

She shared that in her Instagram video.

It was at the after party that she didn't want to take a picture with me and I was okay with that, the dance mom's alum said.

But then I turned around and when I looked back, she was taking pictures with other kids.

Siva said that's the part that made her, quote, really, really upset, calling it one of those memories that always just stuck with her.

Quote, when you're little and somebody says something to you and you just never forget it as long as you live.

I think we've all had that moment.

And I feel like that this was that moment for me.

Okay.

That is a real moment that, you know, it's giving me and Hillary Duff, honestly.

Oh, yeah, that is something else.

No, but sometimes you have that moment.

It's not necessarily with a celebrity.

It's just like an adult makes you feel a certain type of way and it just sticks with you.

And it's unfortunate that like this was that moment for her and that like she's digging her heels in now.

Yeah.

See, the thing is, is like, I just need to know more about, like, if someone says no to taking a picture with you, that's they're allowed to do that.

For me, why I hold a grudge with the Hillary Duff is she came over and she was so fucking rude.

If I take a picture with you, will you stop staring at me?

Yes, thank you.

Um, so like turning someone down for a photo while it's like embarrassing for you, they're completely entitled to do that.

Okay, even if she turns down and takes pictures with other kids and fans.

But like, why do I have any reason to believe that Candace Camin-Beret would intentionally like target an 11-year-old Jojo Siwa?

No, I don't think it's like a targeting.

So like maybe she didn't want to take pictures and then she got dragged into something like, oh, my cousin's daughter loves you.

Like, I don't know.

I'm not like into this storyline at all.

Like, unless Jojo really explains like if Candace was actually rude, sounds like she's holding a candle for something.

And like, she shouldn't have put it.

She's allowed to like feel however she wants to feel, like feel triggered or just happen to remember this weird moment but to like talk about it online and now like dig in even further i'm like what are you doing yeah also she's at the gas station filling up her car and she's like videoed by uh paparazzi and

so it makes me feel like she called them to say this again right like how did they how did they know she was going to be at that gas station right they're not just like waiting at the gas station jojo see what comes by in the middle of a feud right it's not like it's outside craigs right where paparazzi or lax where paparazzi just happened to be but by the way even if she went to craigs i would say the same thing like she went to craigs to be paparazzi to talk about this some more.

No, I could see a world in which she went to Craigs and then there were paparazzi and she was like, fuck it, let me just say it.

But like gas station is definitely giving set up.

Unless there's like one gas station in LA that paparazzi hang out at and like celebrities, that's actually not a bad idea.

Like make it the go-to gas station where if you're a celebrity, you pull up.

I would be getting my gas there every day, hoping someone would recognize me.

And that's where paparazzo goes.

So it's like a mutual unspoken

like situation.

Yeah.

But yes, I didn't even think about the fact that this is more than likely set up.

So she's making it seem like Candace Cameron-Beret's like recount on Instagram was not entirely true.

Yeah, except that they're saying the same thing.

I guess it was an after-party, not a red carpet.

And I guess at a party, she would have more bandwidth to take a picture versus on a red carpet where she really is working.

I don't know.

It's just like, it's while it is awkward, it's not the craziest, rudest thing for a celebrity to say no

to taking a picture with a fan.

I mean, it's not, you know,

kind,

but it's not warm.

Yeah, but it's not like outwardly rude.

No.

Some celebrities are weird about that, like

have never said yes to anyone.

But the thing is she was saying it's her.

Right.

But I just don't think it was like a targeted thing.

I think like those things happen.

Like you don't want to take pictures.

Then your agent comes over and it's like, oh, well, your manager's daughter like is here for her bot mitzvah.

Like, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like those things just happen.

Yeah.

So until I hear anything really damning on Candace Cameron-Beret as it pertains to JoJo Siwa, I'm not with Jojo on this one.

I think maybe she needs to have a cigarette and calm down.

Or maybe she's had too many cigarettes and she's amped up.

She's itching for a fight.

I just want to say, like, when we used to talk about Jojo Siwa chain smoking in her bathtub, it was like such a far-fetched concept.

But the modern day Jojo Siwa is probably smoking cigs in her bathtub.

She's like a badass.

She cut her hair.

Yeah.

She doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks, clearly.

So I agree.

I don't think it's so far-fetched.

We were joking.

We were LARPing when we said that Jojo Siwa chain smokes, but now it's like, maybe she does.

Yeah.

Maybe she does.

What if she just lights up a cigarette?

That would be her prerogative.

Yeah.

I do like love the new JoJo, but I do miss the ponytail.

I can't lie.

Like it was so iconic.

I do believe, and I think she's documented this on TikTok.

She has like extreme hair scalp loss problems from wearing a ponytail so tight since she's been 11.

Well, I saw a headline today that she has a bald spot from Dance Moms from the stress.

Yeah, she made a TikTok about it.

So she was showing off her bald spot and then it was like throwback, like the reason why.

And then it was like a picture of her on dance moms at 11 years old.

Oh, so

I don't know if she was referring to the ponytail

or to dance moms being the reason.

I would imagine it's the ponytail.

It was so fucking tight, and she wore it well into her teens.

Yeah, I mean, it makes you think about Ari.

Yes, I mean, that also makes me think of that episode of Kardashians where Kim and Courtney went to an event, and Courtney wore like the craziest, highest, tightest ponytail.

And then literally had a bald spot in the middle of her head.

But from one ponytail?

That's what she said.

Darn.

Yeah.

And she went to the doctor and got like shots.

Yeah.

Wow.

I wonder how that's doing.

Bald spots are tough because once you get like get start treating them, like it literally takes a year for your hair like to even know if it's working.

Yeah.

Have you ever heard of bald spot?

Not like, not like that.

I haven't.

No.

Just like I've had, I've spots where it's like thickness, but not bald.

No, no, no.

Are you ready for our next story?

Nikki Minaj is coming out with a documentary.

The first trailer for her six-part documentary series called Nikki is coming soon and she's giving fans a first look.

On Thursday, she released the first trailer for her highly anticipated project titled Nikki, sharing the two-minute clip on Twitter.

She wrote, coming soon, the hashtag Nikki documentary, you didn't know you needed.

I love you so much.

The thing with Nikki Minaj is her personal life is actually extremely well I just want to say based on the trailer and the quotes, it's about her rise.

Like it's about becoming a famous female rapper, like, you know, failing

the support that she did or didn't.

Like it's not current.

No, it's not based on what she just dropped.

Honestly, I don't really feel like a documentary is a good move for Nikki Minaj because at present, like her personal life is so twisted.

Like the man she, I believe, is married to is a sex offender.

Her brother is,

I think, in jail for murder.

So, and

she doesn't speak on it because honestly, like, it's not her who's done those things.

But when you open yourself up to a documentary, you really,

like, there are things people expect you to talk about.

It's like a book.

He's in jail for rape.

Oh, sorry.

Sorry, I misspoke.

Raping an 11-year-old.

Her brother.

Her brother.

And then her husband is a registered sex offender.

And I think he might have done some prison time as well.

So these are things people like know about Nikki Minaj, and she never addresses them.

But you can't make a documentary and like not address the thing, you know?

Yeah.

That would be like Brittany writing a book and not talking about her conservatorship.

It's the thing like everyone is that's on the top of everyone's mind when you open your your personal life up to a documentary.

Yeah, well, it's six parts.

So perhaps, you know, the early parts are the early years and the later parts are what's current.

And maybe this is her speaking on it.

Maybe.

We'll see.

But she has to.

Her husband has been sentenced to one year of house arrest because he failed to register as a sex offender due to an attempted rape conviction from 1995.

Right.

So

yeah.

Like I think as long as she wasn't opening herself up and like doing a podcast or writing books or documentaries, she could get away with not speaking on all this, but now it's like, oh, you're opening yourself up.

Like you

were curious.

What's going on?

How do you feel about all this?

Question mark.

Did they say it's like a streaming?

Is it a YouTube?

What is it?

Or is it like DVD?

It doesn't say.

Got it.

It's just coming out sooner than you think.

And still, like, no specific date, but that there is a six-part doc.

It's, it feels like one of those things that she's been like filming herself for a very long time.

Yeah.

Well, I love a celebrity documentary, but I like more current things.

Like when people make a documentary, like how I still haven't watched J-Lo, but like it's about halftime, or that was Lady Gaga, too.

I don't really love like, this sounds like more like an e-true Hollywood story.

Yeah, the rise.

Like if I'm going to watch that, it's going to be for someone I'm like head over heels obsessed with.

Like I would watch that about like Taylor Swift or I don't like, I would watch a Nikki documentary if it was like, what's going on now?

Her getting ready for her tour or something, you know?

Yeah, I feel that.

But remember when they brought back E-True Hollywood story and then like never brought it back?

Yeah, because it's like e-True Hollywood story concepts, you know like boy boys yeah you know yeah it wasn't particular people it was categories yeah it stunk he is so weird to me like as a network i'll never get over it like first of all i think one of the biggest mistakes they ever made was canceling lady gang i think if they gave them like a little bit more time it would have been huge to um

e-news question mark each your hollywood story question mark I don't know what they're trying to do as a network.

I feel like for so long they were trying to be like the pop culture network.

They just like squandered every good thing they had.

Yeah.

I don't know what's going on there.

And then the Kardashians left and it's just been the literally like the last remaining quality brand on A is Daily Pop.

Yeah.

The Pops.

The Pops and Nightly Pop.

Yeah.

Pop.

Are you ready for our next story?

Why'd you giggle like that?

Because you said that.

Oh, I thought.

And that's there.

I thought the story was funny.

It's cute.

Okay.

It's cute.

A California fruit stand employee found a lost wallet and it turned out to be William Shatner's.

Stop.

While picking up some cherries at a local fruit stand, William Shatner got separated from his phone.

Luckily, William.

For the star, the owner made getting it back to him a top priority.

So the owner of the fruit stand was on break when William came through.

And when he came back, he found his belongings in one of the bins.

And when he opened it up, he was surprised to see it was William Shatner.

The face of Priceline.

Yes.

So they spoke to some local law enforcement on getting it back to him.

They wound up FedExing it.

And William got it back.

He tweeted, I would like like to thank Gary and Natalie of BNT Farms for their extreme honesty in returning my lost wallet.

They are obviously good citizens.

I would also like to thank Officer Mark Turasco and Sergeant Billard from the Gilroy PD.

My best, Bill.

Bill?

That's in the tweet.

Yeah.

He calls himself Bill?

I know he wouldn't put it in the tweet, but like...

He like gave them a reward, right?

Like you're a major celebrity.

Yeah, that's just what you do.

Like he seems like a normal, humble human being who wouldn't put that on a tweet.

Yes.

But you gave them like a bunch of cash, right?

Like, they literally gave you back your entire life.

Yeah, I would hope so.

Like, I've never, I have lost wallets.

It's never been returned to me.

And if anybody ever actually returned it to me, I would literally kiss them on the mouth and give them all the cash I had in my house.

Like,

you have, like, you have to.

Tom Segura has a really funny.

And this book.

I need to read it.

You need to read it.

He has a really funny story in his book about finding a wallet one time in a cab and like, you know, fantasizing about when he found the person and they would become like lifelong friends and it would be this thing that bonded them forever and he could not find the person like ever never whatever and a few years go by and he's like at a restaurant and the waiter comes over and he's like he looks familiar and it's the guy i think his name is justin that's crazy tom is like freaking out and justin is just like so

about the whole thing and is so not like into it and it was like such a letdown for tom okay i actually have a similar story i was in a yellow cab once and if you lose something in a yellow cab in the city, like you're done.

It's never coming back.

Uber, you can track it down and I have a bunch of times and somebody left their cell phone in the back seat.

I'm like, I can hand it to the driver or like just find out who it is and like call them and meet, you can come meet me.

So it's this Android and I take it home.

I didn't tell the driver.

I'm like, let me just do a good deed.

And I cannot open the phone.

First of all, I don't know how to use Androids.

It's locked with a password.

There's literally nothing I can do with this phone.

And they're like, it just ended up sitting in my house for like years.

I think it's still there.

Oh, my.

Well, that's weird because usually you can't open someone's phone, but you wait for them to call the phone to see where it is.

And then you pick up and say, hey, John.

I tried hard

for like a few days.

Nothing came in.

Nothing came out.

Then it died.

I was like, I don't have a charger.

Like, it was just a good deed gone wrong.

Yeah.

And that's on trying to, like, I was trying to put good karma out because I'm always losing shit.

Like, oh, maybe the next time I lose my wallet, somebody will return it to me instead of stealing my credit card.

And of course, there's always the possibility of a meet cute.

That's not what I was hoping for.

Unless it was like, you know, a really famous talent agent with an Android.

Yeah, no, with an Android.

But I think in general, like people say you found the wallet.

It would be a perfect book.

You found the wallet of a handsome man.

You go to return it and you fall in love.

What a great story.

That's the premise of an episode of Friends.

They find this like young guy's

cell phone and they like fight over who gets to return it.

And they're talking to the young guy on the phone.

Yeah, there's something exciting about like finding someone's belongings and being the one to return it.

And then the guy shows up and Tom was so excited about Justin.

Yeah.

And Justin gave him nothing.

The guy

shows up to return it and he's 85.

It turns out the young guy was his assistant and he's like disgusting looking.

But yeah, yeah.

That is a crazy story.

And how good is Tom Segura's memory, like remembering someone's ID?

Oh, he was obsessed with it.

Yeah.

Like he spent so much time looking at it.

Sounds like a makeup story.

No, no, no.

Tom wouldn't lie.

Fiction.

Tom wouldn't.

Fiction.

Honestly, like, that's a little too convenient.

And there are crazy things that happen, but like, that's a little convenient.

I think he says that in his book, that like he has some really crazy stories that are like not to be believed, but they really happened to him.

Okay, good, because I'm not believing them.

I think you should just read the book.

Liar.

Are you ready for our next story?

What number is it?

Four.

Oh, no, I'm not.

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Great.

Our next story: Real Houses of New York.

Sonia Morgan puts her Upper East Side Townhouse back on the market for $8.75 million.

She's the girl who cried sale.

Sonia Morgan is giving New York City Real Estate Market another go.

It's perfect time.

The star has relisted her five-story Upper Eastside Townsend for $8.75 million after attempting to sell the property for nearly a decade.

So new photos of the house have emerged, and it looks really nice in these pictures.

But having seen the ins and outs on the show, this townhouse is kind of like a

renovation, requires a gut reno.

Also, like the real estate photos that like legit Douglas Ellaman companies use, like are really edited.

They add like sparkles and brighten them.

Like it looks good, but like the photos are definitely glorifying it a little bit.

Yeah, she did fix it up as we saw on the show and she wasn't living in it, but then she had to move back during COVID because she didn't have a renter anymore.

She's still not living in it, but now it is really and truly for sale.

But this is just not the time.

Yeah.

New York City real estate is in the tank.

But when it comes to, like, I actually feel bad for Sonia because I think when she got this townhouse in the divorce, it was like a huge win for her.

Because at the end of the day, a townhouse on the Upper East Side is like a valuable piece of real estate.

But she hasn't been able to really do much with it.

And it's so expensive to maintain, even just bare minimum, like making sure, you know.

leaks and she's not that but plus the taxes on it right the maintenance so i think it's become like a real burden for her 100 no she's been wanting she's been ready to part with it for a long time now and like made peace emotionally and she just can't make peace with it physically and honestly like i don't think like the notoriety of the the townhouse when it comes to bravo and like reality television has helped the sell sale of the no because the buyer of this house like doesn't want all of that no if you're spending eight million dollars on a townhouse on the upper east side like you're extremely like elite and like classy and elegant and like that doesn't really you know those aren't words i would use to describe the real house size of New York City.

Yeah.

So I actually feel bad for her.

And like, I hope someone buys it.

It would have to be one of those things like, you know,

like people who like in the Middle East, really rich people who just like buy property in New York as like investments or just like a place to put their money.

They never live there.

They never go there.

And then they'll sell it in a few years.

Like, I believe that's what happened with Joan Rivers' apartment.

Yeah, that's what happened at the plaza when they sold all these, when they turned it into condos and residences.

Majority of the people don't live there whatsoever.

It's just a place for them to put their money to park some money right so hopefully we can get like a rich sultan or something for sonia and then maybe they can start dating

that's a really good point yeah that's exactly what she needs because it's really not livable it has to be completely gutted it's super dated and if you're spending eight million dollars you want something fresh yeah you want to live in the lap of luxury right so it's a gut reno and

those types of investors who just like buy properties don't ever live there and so they don't really care what it looks like sonia and the Sultan.

I would watch that spin off.

100%.

100%.

Oh, also, speaking of Bravo, and we haven't been able to speak about this because the show got canceled and I guess nobody cares anymore, but Mike Shoehead from Shahs of Sunset was arrested on 14 counts of domestic violence.

Oh my God.

I know.

And I'm like really upset.

Jesus.

It's not like that.

like shocking if you watch a show.

He's like really toxic with women and definitely has like anger issues.

So it's like one plus one equals two.

But but it would have been nice to have filming it would have been nice for one plus one to equal sock in this situation right i just like really there's not a day goes by that i don't feel at least once a day like this is something shaws of sunset like could have covered because could have solved could have addressed you know it's such a good show i'm sorry cans look sick maybe when we have toast studios you could reboot it yeah that and the

new zealand girls and their farm Yeah, and Society Season 2 would be on Toast Studios.

GCB.

Nashville.

Filthy Rich.

Remember that show?

Remind me?

Kim Cottrell.

She plays like the head of the show.

Of course.

Who could forget?

Except that the last few episodes like ruined the show.

Filthy Rich, the FX show starring Kim Cottrell as the leader of a megachurch, was amazing, but its only, I think, issue was that it really came out at the same time as Righteous Gemstones, which is the HBO bigger budget, better, you know, cast version of it.

And people loved Righteous Gemstones with John Goodman.

I should watch that.

Yeah, I started it.

Me and Ben started it.

We liked it, but we just like never continued it.

It just just wasn't Filthy Rich, and it never will be.

No, and Filthy Rich was so good.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

I really and truly am.

Some good and bad news to wrap up a saga from this week, which is everyone hating Instagram.

Instagram has nixed some TikTok-like features, but it's still going hard on Reels's.

Reels.

The TikTokification of Instagram took a step back as the meta-owned social app said Thursday it will discontinue a beta test of a full screen version of the feed and also promised to reduce the number of recommended videos, photos, and accounts that people see in Instagram.

I hope that means that Jackie Ashre will no longer be seeing accounts that exclusively have 47 likes.

Jessica's family reunion.

But make no mistake, Instagram is still putting its shoulder into video, continuing to aggressively develop and promote reels, the TikTok style video feature that lets users record and share videos of up to 90 seconds.

Okay, so like, at least they back down a little bit, but they're just so like stubborn and like hell-bent on.

competing with TikTok that like they're literally like losing the respect of everyone.

Yeah.

It's like it's really turning.

It's that's what they did with Facebook.

Everyone couldn't live and breathe without Facebook.

They made so many changes kept like

they changed to be everything to everyone, but it's like we can have multiple apps.

I have like dozens of apps on my phone that I use for different things.

I'm not looking for one app to do it all.

That's my phone.

My phone does it all.

Yeah, that's so true.

No, they're like totalitarianists.

Like they have to be everything for everyone at all times.

Like, why can't we be happy with what you have?

Why can't we post our sickening pictures on Instagram and our sickening videos on TikTok?

I don't know.

It's so annoying.

And like, they get away with it.

Like, they copy every app that's become popular

in the world in terms of social media.

Like, Instagram copies it.

They copied stories.

They copy everything.

And they get away with it.

And like, Instagram still remains like the center of the social media universe.

And it's just fucking annoying.

Like, no, but I feel like this too.

This time they've been kind of stopped in their tracks.

Yeah, they're going to focus on reels, but it's really not happening the way that they're not taking down TikTok.

And I don't think that they will anytime soon.

You can't.

Like, you literally can't.

But I also think people's behavior is different.

Like, you go to Instagram to see your friends and like specific people that you socialize.

But on TikTok, you're really watching strangers and it's just different.

And that's fine.

It's fine.

It's fine.

It's literally fine.

They're just so annoying.

And the nature in which they like, like, that's the thing.

I think the most successful social media apps

like really listen to what their users want.

Like, you know, people on TikTok like are always begging for like different features.

And over time, like TikTok gives it to us.

Like they listen.

People wanted longer videos.

They wanted more effects.

Every time like

a trend happens where people have to do a certain thing with their camera, TikTok will create an effect that does it for you, like to help engage people and make it easier for them.

Like if you're older and you don't know how to do the like,

they'll make a filter for you.

So that's part of the reason people love TikTok.

As a user, you feel heard.

Yeah.

Instagram is like, oh, what did you want?

Okay, we'll give you the opposite.

Oh, you wanted 10 minute videos?

Sorry, we'll give you one minute video.

Like they're always just doing the opposite of what people want and ignoring them.

And it's so fucking annoying.

Like, remember how long it took them to get filters that didn't make everyone look like rats?

Yeah.

People used to film on Snapchat with like the dog ears and like the smoothing filters, save it, and then upload it to Instagram.

Like, get with the program.

Yeah.

Get with the motherfucking program, bitch.

Now.

You know who listens?

The Strice brothers.

And they've been so good today for Striday.

And those were the fast five stories.

And you definitely needed to know every single one of them.

Yeah, but if you're feeling RDH that the content for this week is ending, there's so much more where there's

first of all Patreon.

There's a new episode up for patrons who are already, you know, caught up.

New episode, us at Publix.

But if you're not a patron yet and you joined today, like you have over 200 episodes waiting for you and there are some gems.

I mean, we literally had two gems this week.

We dropped a couple days ago of log in this exact room, getting our studio together, all hands on deck.

Zach was here, Zach was here, Ben was here, Jackie was here, Streis was here, I was here, Bryce was here.

And we did like a documentary style, very, you know, the office inspired video of putting together the studio.

And it's literally one of the funniest things you'll ever see in your life, if we do say so ourselves.

So check it out.

And then when you're done with all of those 200 episodes, head over to Spotify where our show, Breaking Bread, new episode just dropped.

It's historical.

It's really just become, yes, we talk about pop culture, but it's just become a place where like, it's a FaceTime for us where other people can weigh in.

No, and it's just become literally like.

the moronic language we've created here at the morning toast and like the people who understand the language speaking that language Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

It's an inner circle thing.

Yeah.

But you all would understand because you're part of the inner circle.

So there's Patreon, there's breaking bread, and then we're going to be back next week with more shows.

So we hope this has been a great first week.

We want to thank everyone for being patient.

Might I add, like, now that we have our new sickening bugle chairs.

The outpouring of love for the couch.

Like, wait, I liked the couch.

Really?

Where were you when everyone was dragging us to filth?

No, nobody wants to stand up for what's right when the time matters.

Now it's all in the past.

Everyone wants to say they were on the right side.

You know, we loved the couch, but please, we heard the crickets.

I don't want to hear that you loved the couch, honestly.

Like, I don't want to fucking hear it.

I'm triggered.

And you're weaponizing my couch against me.

And so I'm going to gaslight you in return.

But thanks for being patient.

Monday, Tuesday was tough with the audio video.

We got to a great place.

I feel really good about it.

And we're going to keep evolving, keeping queens.

And thank you to everyone who has been on this journey with us.

Honestly, reading the comments on everything we post on Instagram this week has been one of the highlights of my life.

People are so fucking funny.

Like me and Jackie keep screenshotting screenshotting people's comments and sending them to each other because you guys are so fucking funny.

Yeah, like I like them when I find them funny, but I just need to make sure Claudia saw it too.

Yeah, of course.

And by the way, I've literally seen everything.

Like you don't even have to send them to me.

That's so.

You still should.

Yeah.

I just want you to know like what sticks out and like what you're enjoying.

Yes.

Of course.

Yes.

We're girls who enjoy.

So that's our show.

Oh, and one more thing.

I wanted to thank everyone who made Gmail YouTube accounts yesterday, who got their mother and brother to subscribe.

We got over a thousand subscribers yesterday.

And while it's good, it's not good enough.

No, I really, like, I know it could happen.

No offense, like some of you are being lazy.

Yeah, we know how many people listen to the show every day.

It's a lot.

No, this could happen in an instant.

If everybody's talking to the podcasters, listen, if you're listening right now to the show, I am talking to you.

Yeah, you know, you know, you think I'm talking to the other person?

Yeah.

I'm talking to you.

Get on your Gmail.

Go to youtube.com.

Go to the morning toasts and just hit subscribe.

It's that simple.

It's you.

It's so simple.

No, no, no.

I'm not saying to the abstract.

You.

And you're thinking like, I don't need to do it.

There's so many other people who listen.

Like, they'll do it.

No, bitch.

You.

Yeah.

Get your fucking ass up and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Okay.

We need to be in the three-digit club.

Like, it's like embarrassing.

Yeah.

90K.

Oh, my God.

You know what?

I think after what we have brewing next week.

I know.

Brewing.

People will feel inspired to take up the mantle for us.

I don't disagree.

Not in the slightest.

Doesn't mean that that you shouldn't do it or every today.

Yeah, that's not like a pass.

No, no, no.

So thank you so much for listening to The Morning Toast, the Millennium Morning Show where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe.

Or if you're listening as a podcast, please feel free to subscribe.

We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found.

So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, Cast Box, all the places.

So wherever you listen to podcasts, find us The Morning Toast.

And don't forget to leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

Hope you guys have an encrayob weekend.

Enjoy the weekend.

Be safe.

Have Have fun.

We love you.

In Crayob weekend, you guys.

Nothing less.

Goodbye.

Bye-bye.