S5 Ep96: Florida Toast: Monday, July 25th, 2022

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Good morning, millennials.

Happy, um, happy what?

Monday.

Oh, my God.

If there ever was a Monday, this ain't a Monday.

And I don't know what is.

Hey, guys, welcome to Florida.

Well, if you're listening as a podcast, business as usual, premium, audio quality, yeah, yeah, yeah, Brass and Stress.

Brass is here, missing stress, but he's just down the street.

He should have been here, but the couch ain't big enough for the four of us.

But for the 11 people who watch us on YouTube, we have decided to build an extremely impromptu.

This is not, we repeat, not, Jackie's official home studio setup.

We just got some shit off of Amazon.

We had a random couch laying around.

I just ran to Best Buy.

If I'm looking a little shy and it's because Best Buy is hell on fucking earth.

And I bought us a new fancy camera.

So we're doing the most.

Let's take from the beginning.

So today is Monday.

Yes.

Last time we saw you guys, it was Wednesday.

And if these haven't been the four craziest, busiest days of life, I don't know what has been.

Like, I moved down here, my moving boxes, during that time, Claudia decided to take an extended trip to Florida.

Who knows when and if she's ever leaving, which was so exciting for me because I love you and I miss you.

Right, you moved to Florida on Thursday, and I took a flight on Saturday.

But you planned it on Friday.

Yes.

Yeah.

So I missed you so much, and I'm so excited.

We had an amazing weekend, which we'll get to, but it was also just great for content because we can be together.

And we get that je sequa that happens when we're together.

Right, so even though we're not a different jeune sequence when we're remote, and it's like craziness.

It's not a je sequoi, it's a mental illness.

Like we're unhinged.

Yes, but we have Jackson Claude back in the studio.

So once we realized that we would be podcasting together, then we were like, why do audio only?

We could put together a little studio.

Now, we need to drive home the point that this is temporary.

Yeah, we heard your nasty critiques of this couch, which is very cool, by the way.

In defense of this couch, this couch never asked to be a star.

Right.

This couch never asked to be on the show.

Like, we said, couch, like, you're looking nice.

Do you want to be on the podcast, the vodcast?

And the couch

acquiesced.

No, and the couch was there for us when nobody else was.

So honestly, I will not tolerate any fucking slander about this couch.

And you guys being like, that couch is ugly.

That couch is not it.

That couch is not toasty.

Like, we recognize that this isn't the typical toast.

We recognize that.

You know what is toasty?

Perseverance and courage.

And that's what it takes.

An entrepreneurial spirit coupled with mogul energy.

Right, waking up at literally the crack of dawn to go to FedEx and Best Buy just so we could get a premium.

Like, I just want to hear the critiques, but it's really important to remember: like, this is not Jackie's official Florida setup.

She has sickening wallpaper, more furniture.

We have a whole thing, but we figured while we were here, we might as well be moguls and video together.

And honestly, we did a little test shoot last night.

It looked super cute.

Obviously, not as premium as our studio in New York.

But you know what?

It's actually pretty great.

And if you want to know what the journey was like to building this studio, we vlogged.

Okay, some I couldn't put my finger.

Remember during the vlog, I said, this feels like we're filming an episode of Arrested Development.

Yes.

Somebody left a comment, and I'm sorry, I don't know who it was, and that perfectly, that's not, I wasn't trying to say arrested development, I got the wrong TV show.

It was literally an episode of the office.

Yeah.

Like zooming in on people and like their reactions.

Right, and working with your coworkers and talking about the experience.

It was so funny.

We were putting together everything last night, and by putting together, like, you know, angles, moving the couch, putting up the lights.

You know, this art had a glass on it that the boys, a glass frame, the boys took it off because there was a glare, just all this stuff.

And we were sitting here, we were laughing so hard, and we were filming it because it was a test.

And we were like, we should just be vlogging it because we're filming ourselves anyway.

And then it turned into really a masterpiece.

The reviews have been so raped.

People are saying it's the best episode yet.

They said they haven't felt this way since the Great Chili Cook-Off.

Yes, I saw that as well.

It really is so premium.

It felt like a little episode of a reality show, and it's hysterical.

And really, the husbands were the stars.

Like, we're in it, obviously.

It goes husbands, Sprice brothers, us yeah we were like irrelevant uglies in that video and i wouldn't have had it any other way it was such a delight to film it's on the patreon now um patreon.com slash the morning toast and you can also get a little like look-see behind the scenes of how we came to this stylistic choice yes given the resources that we had so i just want to say once again this couch is not permanent we're not trying to make it like the new toasty thing this couch just was wanted to be an anonymous couch in my house and now it's thrust into the spotlight and all the hate it's receiving like it doesn't deserve that this couch is a private citizen, but I'm hoping like

a fan account pops up for the couch.

Yeah, just as for this couch.

Just as for this couch.

It's very cool.

I think it's cool.

Like not only, I wouldn't choose this couch for the show, but like as just like a cool piece of furniture, it's cool.

Like you should keep it in your studio if you, I don't know, need to take a siesta between podcast, podcast, podcast, meeting, meeting, meeting.

Vodcast, vodcast, vodcast.

Photo shoot, photo shoot, photo shoot.

So now that the four people who actually tune in on YouTube have been addressed, let's address the millions who listen as a podcast.

Yes.

Hey, hey.

Hey, guys.

Hi.

Let's catch up.

Like, you literally have had a life-changing week, and obviously I had to, you know, come down here and make it about me.

Of course.

No, but I couldn't have done it without you.

And the idea that I would be here and have that experience this weekend and you wouldn't have been there.

Like, it wasn't meant to be that way.

Yeah.

No, I completely agree.

Yeah.

So you really made this weekend.

So in Crayob.

Thank you.

It was just a really...

Floridian weekend.

I feel like I'm hitting the ground running living here.

Bruno is drinking my coffee.

Bruno, you're going to be so Bruno's going to be like zoomies all fucking night.

As if Bruno couldn't get crazier.

Can I ask you a question?

Would you ever drink that after Bruno drinks it?

If I needed to, but this was the end of my second cup.

I could say goodbye.

If it was the beginning of my first cup, Bryce, we're sharing coffee.

Right.

But I think it's a no for me, dog.

Yeah.

You want me to get rid of it?

Set it down.

Yeah, but don't.

The couch.

Remember the couch.

Of course.

I'm just.

It's fine.

I'm living up here.

Okay.

Yeah.

Scary.

Okay, so it's been a transformative weekend, but between moving, like, all the treachers that come with moving.

And I really tried to make it as least treacherous as possible, yet it still came for me.

There's nothing.

That nobody is going to spill because the arm of the couch.

Just get up and put it on the ledge.

Get up.

Get up.

This is

inhumane.

Bruno, get your butt up here.

Thank you.

You're still.

Bruno, I just want to let you know, like, this is our first podcast of the week, and so far, I wouldn't ask you to come back tomorrow.

So get your fucking ass up and sit down.

Yeah, because you were being an angel last night.

I'm the movie star.

Yeah.

Okay, so this weekend, back to it.

Right.

So I got here on Saturday and we had such a fun time.

Like, we've been swimming, we went out to lunch.

I've been hanging out with Kayler and Rolled so much.

Did you get what you came here for so far?

I still

haven't found what I'm looking for because I'm looking for a pub sub.

And haven't found one?

You know, I've never had a pub sub.

No, but everyone's saying like you would love them.

No, the chicken tenders are like known there, but I haven't really even spoken about this because everyone is so mean to me whenever I do talk about it.

But I've been like

dieting.

And I want a PubSub so bad, but I'm really doing a good job and I'm really proud of myself.

And I'm starting to feel like so much better

physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.

So I went to Publix yesterday.

I bought a lottery ticket, by the way.

I forgot to tell you.

If you want in, you have to tell me because the numbers come out tomorrow.

And currently, it's me and the Shapiros.

I could invest in your ticket.

Yes.

Hmm.

I did $40 worth of the Mega Millions is at $790 million, Jacks.

$40.

And the Powerball Florida exclusive is, I think, $103, $104.

So it's very exciting.

So if you want to get in, you're going to have to vend mummy because then me and Olivia win, and then we move to, you know, Beverly Hills.

Right.

And we leave you in the dust.

Damn.

Okay.

How much of an investment are we talking?

Well, do you want in on the mega millions and the Powerball or just the Mega Millions, which is $7.90?

I think just the Powerball.

So that would be

what is $40 divided by 3?

15?

That's like odd.

11?

12.

This is sad.

It's 13 and 33 cents.

Yeah.

So I expect you to.

Would they give me a deal?

13?

Call it even?

Well, then we would split, if we win, we would split it proportionally.

Got it.

So I'd be like 32 and

23.

There's a couple million dollars because you wouldn't send me 33 cents.

Okay.

So it was very exciting.

And, you know, I buy lottery tickets all the time, but I don't know how the lottery works.

I just know if you live in New York, like, you don't win.

Yeah.

Always someone in Florida.

Hello.

Why not you?

Why now?

It's going to be me.

I love this encouragement.

Actually, I feel like this happens once a year on the show.

Where we buy a power roll?

We.

You buy a lottery ticket and you are.

You're on my personality ticket.

No, you're on this high horse of like, you're winning the lottery.

Everyone else is being left in the dust.

No, if you don't buy a lottery ticket, this is your last week as a lay person.

Exactly.

If you don't buy a lottery ticket and spend the time until you find out you lose, like, acting as if you're going to win hands down, no question then you're not a human being everybody buys a lottery ticket and spends the next couple days like basically just assuming they're going to win I think that's the problem though and that's where people get into trouble because people who buy a lottery ticket every week and live that week like they're about to win the lottery can find themselves in a lot of debt okay that's true but I was talking about this with Olivia because I spent $60 on tickets like I got a lot of members which is really dumb because they're literally $2.

But then I was saying to Olivia like Olivia was saying you know $60 basically down the drain because you're not going to win.

And And I'm like, yes.

But the excitement I'll feel for the next three days, like talking about it, look, I'm podcasting.

I'm making my money back right now, you know?

That's worth $60 to me.

Three days of joy for $60.

As long as you're not living large and spending money that you haven't earned or won yet.

No, I'm not.

I didn't mean financially.

I heard you were at Best Buy this morning.

You were spotted at Best Buy, like buying off all the equipment.

I bought literally three things, and that was all they had in the store.

You know, the supply chain has hit Best Buy.

I was talking to the man who works there, Anthony, literally such a nice guy.

And can I just say how I hate buying podcasting equipment?

Because somebody always asks.

Of course.

And then you also not only do you not want to talk about yourself because you're so shy.

So it's awkward.

But then you also do sound like a person who's in their basement, like thinking that the world cares what you have to say.

So that's.

And then also, it's like, well, I'm about to be a podcaster.

And if your personality isn't dazzling while you're talking to them, it's like, why are you podcasting?

I was being quite dazzling, but it did occur to me that this man thought I was just going to literally open up my computer and think I'm going to be the next morning toast.

So I felt like slightly embarrassed.

You thought you were gonna be the next Claudia Oshre.

Right.

I was slightly embarrassed but I also didn't want him to like press because like then he googles and it's just a downhaul.

Like I just I prefer to buy my podcast equipment online is what I'm saying.

And he told me the supply chain crisis has hit Best Buy as well.

I would imagine.

So literally the entire store was so empty.

I'm like is this a brand new store?

Are you guys going out of business?

He's like no the chip crisis.

I'm like excuse me?

The chips.

Like these tech companies don't have a lot of chips and every product needs a chip.

That's what's happening with cars too.

So they're not gonna put a chip in like a $100 camera because they only have so many left.

They're putting them in the $3,000 cameras.

So that's all there is available.

I was able to get a decent price on this gorgeous Canon one, but Best Buy is truly

the worst.

Yeah.

I would feel like it would be not the worst, but I haven't graced one in a decade, so I can't say.

Yeah, and it's just like, it's crazy how if I was in the city and this morning I had to go to FedEx because neither you nor Olivia have a working printer and you have a pass because you just moved but I'm like Olivia you both work from home you don't have a fucking printer I have a printer um complex like because I have one and I think it's like really irresponsible when other people don't yeah you do have all of those things yeah yeah um and it's so cheap and so easy like I just I don't believe in not having a printer so I had to go to FedEx best buy and then I was thinking like if I was in New York like I would have gotten this shit done in 30 minutes everything was 45 minutes away like but you had to drive do you listen to music of course I was being insane I could not believe I didn't crash a Shapiro's car there's just a lot going on and the yellow lights here are insane.

Because they're long, they're so long, so you get comfortable.

So I'm driving, and I'm like, oh, maybe I'll slow down.

But no, like I had, then I literally almost died.

Like, I fully ran like a complete red light, and I'm like standing in the middle of the interface.

I'm like, I mean, the intersection.

Yeah.

I got this.

This is an interface.

And I'm like, oh my God, this is literally like how people die.

And I was thinking if I got pulled over, like, I would have a really good explanation.

I'm like, sir, I'm incredibly confused.

Like, is the light yellow for 30 seconds or 30 minutes?

I can't tell.

Yes, but being an an out of towner, I do think that's a typical excuse.

Oh.

It's an excuse people use.

I think it depends on the officer and if he wants to grant you a pass.

But like, even though the light is yellow for 30 seconds, like you still should have slowed down.

Right.

I guess that's that's so true.

You know?

But I like had a heart attack.

I was having so much fun like listening to like all this country music and then like reality hit.

And I'm like, girl, slow down.

Did you get a nice coffee?

That's all you needed.

A big coffee.

No, I didn't get a nice coffee.

I didn't want to take a dump into Cheryl's car.

You'd rather take one on my couch.

I thought that would be rude, you know?

They let me bar their car.

That would be really, really rude, really rude.

So, how are you liking suburban living so far?

Aside from that, it's just like crazy.

There really are so many cultural differences between living in a city and living in a suburb.

And I obviously always knew that.

But to like actually wake up and go to work in the suburbs, it was a lot of work.

Yeah, well, literally, I haven't even done my job yet.

I'm sweating.

We also are putting together a studio for like the number one podcast in the world.

Or soon to be the number one podcast in the galaxy.

Right.

So I imagine you're tired.

It was extremely difficult.

Before we keep catching up, do you mind if I say something?

I would love if you said something because I think you, I know what you're going to say, and it's something that I need to say also.

Yeah, because

I walked into your house and I saw the most gorgeous piece of furniture in a bedroom that actually does not belong to me, which is super, super fucked up.

It belongs to the counselor.

We're calling it Snitch's room because I have two guest rooms, and one is for Claudia and one is for Snitch.

And the bed in the counselor's room is

Thumma.

Thumma, thumma, thuma.

Let me be your thumma.

Thumma, thuma,

Jackie's home has been graced by a Thuma bed.

Yes, you guys.

And Thuma is a brand that practices an intentional, less is more design philosophy for the bedroom.

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That's us.

Clean lines, subtle curves.

Not so subtle, mime.

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And it's made for how you live.

The bed is backed by a lifetime warranty, ships right to your door in three easy-to-maneuver boxes, and we can attest to that experience.

And it takes about five minutes to assemble, and you won't end up murdering your husband.

So it's so good.

So important.

Thumma, saving lives.

What's the point of having a bed if you don't have anyone to share with?

That should be Thuma's tagline.

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Now go to thuma.co, C-O slash toast to receive a $25 credit towards your purchase of the bed, plus free shipping in the continental U.S.

go to thuma.co slash toast, that's th um a dot co-slash toast for a $25 credit.

And get your thumba.

Tsuma, Tumma, Tumma.

Let me be your Tumma.

I just don't like Brittany Spears.

We did.

Let me be your Tumblr.

No, she can't tell Shikira, but.

Good thing we're recording this.

Yeah, because we'll play it back.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Also, oh, you got your hair out of the tape.

Did you see that?

My hair was stuck in my.

You taped your hair to the card.

The thing is, when you're a hairy beast like me, like, these things don't even phase you.

You find your hair.

If I, when I have a child,

literally I'm going to come into his room and, like, my hair is gonna be in his mouth.

Like my hair is everywhere.

No, especially with the postpartum shedding.

My hair is

everywhere right now.

It's like I go to someone's house and I can't even like redo my ponytail because I come out with a bunch of hair.

Like, where do I put it?

Also,

where can I put my wig?

I have to get up and throw it away.

I wanted to say that, like, you've had like a transformational week, and I feel like I've talked the whole time in this catch-up.

So, can you talk?

But that's how it goes.

and it's fine because you're here.

Like, if you were in New York and I was talking about my weekend,

that would be, I mean, I wouldn't put it past you.

Tell me about you.

Like, you have a closet that's so big now.

You have a tub.

Like, tell me.

The thing is, everything is great.

I'm just so overwhelmed and doing so much and moving so quickly and constantly trying to catch up that nothing has settled in.

Yeah.

Which is pretty good.

And I do feel like that's also

a good coping mechanism.

Like, it doesn't feel like a lot has changed because I haven't processed it.

Yeah.

And by the time I do process it, hopefully I'll be settled in and I can just like skip over the processing.

True, true.

You know?

And by the way, if you guys wanted to see like a peek of Jackie's house, you should get on Patreon because while the boys were being busy, we were like fucking around and finding out with the camera.

And you had a nice little sneak peek.

You did of my little upstairs area, which has actually turned into my favorite area of the house.

And it's so random.

Because it's like work and play.

And lounge.

It's very cozy.

And I intend to make it even cozier.

And other than that, the only thing that's like, I mean, everything is so overwhelming, but what's really putting like the nail in the overwhelming coffin for me is like pumping.

Oh, it's just like a nuisance.

It's just, oh my god, I can't find the time.

And like, you just have to like sit there and do nothing for 30 minutes.

I mean,

I try and like find this morning.

I decided every time I pump, I'm going to use it as an opportunity to read because I haven't been able to find enough time to read and I want to.

So like maybe I will won't dislike pumping so much if it's my reading time.

That's actually really good.

So trying to find like small joys in it.

It also could be like a good time to meditate because you have to sit there for 20 minutes, maybe a little meditation.

But I do think reading, I just finished my book.

We've been reading all weekend in addition to like everything else that we're doing.

On our new Kindles, we both have the Oasis, and I have to say, it's a fabulous product.

I'm so glad I got it on Prime Day because I don't know if I would pay.

I think it's like $300 something.

I wouldn't pay that, but I got it on Prime Day for a lot less, and I really like it.

Having a button to change the page is...

life-changing.

I've had a backup Oasis for a year because Zach got one for himself and then he never used it, so it just became like my, in case my Kindle runs out of battery Kindle.

And that's what happened on my my flight on Thursday.

I we are about to take off.

I power up my Kindle, it's dead.

I quickly like use my air, what's it called, hotspot to get Wi-Fi to get on my new Kindle to buy the book I was reading, and I got it all right before we took off.

And then I was reading on my Oasis, and I'm like, it's time for the change.

I wasn't ready before, now I'm in this period of change, and I'm ready for the Kindle Oasis.

So I was reading The Hotel Nantucket by

Ellen Hildebrand, our girl, our queen.

It's all about her.

It was so good.

I would say it's just as good as Golden Girl.

It's not similar at all.

It's about a hotel.

I liked Golden Girl.

Yeah, it was just really, really good.

I actually wound up giving it five stars because, and I think it was my first five-star fiction book of 2022.

That's pretty big.

That's huge.

That's pretty big.

I have been reading a lot too, like a lot of rom-coms, like meaningless, but I've been loving them.

They're so light and fun.

I made a TikTok if you want to check it out.

And wait, I had something really important to say.

And consuming other content because I have finally, thanks to living in the same house as Michaeler I have finally seen sing one and sing two

the like animated

it's not even musical because it's like no the animated excuse to repurpose popular music and make money off the royalty it's like kids glee honestly yeah it's fucking amazing like I have been loving every minute of it except some of the voices are bothering me and I don't really understand why Tori Kelly was an elephant like her no her voice like doesn't match the character she's like the shy elephant yeah I think it's kind of like she's like the bearded lady from Greatest Show, and it's like the same vibe, like you wouldn't expect.

And it's just like it's bothering me.

Some of the animation is not my favorite, but it is just stellar.

It is a work of art.

Michaela loves it so much.

It's non-stop, like before she goes to bed.

And I love it too.

And I've also been learning about Miss Rachel.

Do you know Miss Rachel?

I know about her from you.

You guys, if you have kids, you know Miss Rachel.

And Olivia introduced me to her.

She helps kids on, she makes YouTube videos.

She makes like helpful tutorials on word pronunciation, learning colors, numbers.

She's cute.

She is so fucking popular, Jackie.

She has literally maybe 100 videos.

She started during the pandemic.

And they get hundreds of millions of views because kids just watch them over and over.

And I was watching.

I'm like, this girl's got charisma.

She has a star.

She has what it takes.

Her voice is so cute.

Like, the kids love it.

And I was thinking, I'm like, she just got it started, but like, people are like, you have to Google her net worth.

It's $15 million.

I'm like, it's not enough.

She's going to be huge.

Like, for the way that the kids love her, she needs to start a podcast.

Of course.

She needs to make original music.

She needs a line of merchandise at Walmart or like in collaboration with Target, a show on Nickelodeon.

She's going to be huge.

And she just started during the pandemic.

She's going to be bigger than Jojo Sewell.

Like, I just wanted to say it so that I could say I said it.

So big things for Miss Rach.

Big things for Miss Rach.

And then there was like drama because Miss Rach hasn't posted in a few months.

And everyone was like, hashtag, what happened to Miss Rach?

And then she let everyone know.

She's like, you guys, I'm a teacher and it's a summer.

I'm like, I have off, so like, back off.

And

her videos are like over an hour long, so kids can just like watch and watch.

And it takes a really long time to like edit, produce.

She has to get the licenses to like a bunch of songs.

So she's just working hard and premium content takes time.

That's pretty much the moral of the story.

I mean, don't we know it?

Don't we know it?

I love Miss Rage.

The moral of today's story.

She's taught Michaela so much.

Like, I obviously haven't seen Michaela.

What has she taught you?

She's really like spoken to my soul in a sense.

You know, like the wheels on on the bus, like they do go round and round.

Does she has she shown you that we're all just kids at heart?

That's the thing.

Can you tell me I was right about us all being kids at heart?

You were 100% right.

And that's like when I see Miss Rage and she's sticky, you know, sticky, sticky bubblegum, I'm like, yes.

It is sticky bubblegum.

No, you're 100% right.

It's not sticky.

And it's just like Michaela knows all this new stuff, like she's blowing my mind.

Counting to 10.

Michaela knows that bubblegum is sticky.

Right, and she's like doing all the hand motions and she's counting to 10.

And I honestly like, and this is no slight to Olivia because Olivia would also say this, like, it's all Miss Rage.

Like,

Olivia loves Miss Rage.

It sounds like she's fun for the whole family.

And it sounds like there's just like a lot of people who are important to us in our lives named Rage.

Of course.

Carcel, Miss,

et cetera.

Et cetera.

Yeah.

Are we all caught up?

I don't know.

What else have you been getting into?

I mean, you've been with me every step of the way.

I know it's been in Delight.

It's really hot here, but it's also hot in New York, so I really can't complain.

Yeah, at least here you can swim.

Have you been enjoying swimming?

How's your ear?

You know, I'm a swimmer, and obviously I was brought down with a debilitating case of swimmer's ear a couple weeks ago.

And I'm not going to lie, I did go swimming two days ago, and I got in the shower.

My ear was kind of stinging.

But dramatic.

I will not be acknowledging nor

investigating.

Yeah, I'm just...

I'm just living life at this point.

I'm going to have to be hub culture, by the way.

So I was actually going to post on my stories today.

I was recording a story being like, what do you guys want us to talk about?

Like, leave a box just to remind me of any big stories.

And then I didn't love how I looked in the video, so I X'd it up.

I feel like.

And then I tried to record it again, and Zach walked in, and then I got angry.

LOL.

And I was like, I lost my moat.

Guys, tensions are high in our family just because for the last 12 hours, everyone has been helping us put together this studio.

So let's just give a major shout-out to Zach Shapiro, Zach Weinreb, and Ben Soffer for helping us so much and really not complaining.

Yeah, no, they did such a good job.

And they were even troopers about the vlog.

It was so funny.

No, but I was just like, I can't talk into my phone with someone watching me.

Oh, okay.

And in his defense, I was using his bathroom because mine doesn't have mirrors yet.

And,

oh, no, like when he walks into the room, if I'm like doing content, you'll have to stop.

And then I lost my joa.

Mojo.

You know, I lost my mojo.

But what's big in pop culture?

So it's a lot of small stuff, and we'll be talking about it.

There's not like one major thing that we've missed.

That's good.

Because like, honestly, I hate when we have to take like time off and then something fucking happens.

Even though, do you see that?

People think Kylie's getting married.

Like, yes.

Is that a story?

No.

Should we talk about that?

How she went out to Georgio Baldi, which is becoming the hotspot for all celebs.

And she was with her gal pals, Stas, Kim, the crew, and everyone was wearing different, I think they were all wearing black, and she was wearing white.

Yeah.

Do you think she's getting married?

On its face, yes, but I just don't know why she would.

And if she would, why she would be so out and about with like her bride?

Like she's secretive.

I don't think she's trying to be like secretive.

I think she's just like trying to live life and like be small about it.

But I just don't know why they they would they're both have huge estates they live in california where it's like hard to get married you separate stuff like why would they bother i feel like celebrities know how to get married and protect themselves completely financially no matter where they live i think that's probably a huge business there's definitely like a boilerplate california big estate celebrity lawyers yeah and like you love each other so much but you still live completely different financial lives yeah that's true yeah oh the big news was ben and jlo getting married did we talk about that yes we did we did yeah we did my god it feels like i've literally not podcasted

we're acting like it's been six months.

It was four days that we missed.

It's been seven months.

We know

it was two episodes that we missed.

And we still did a Patreon, so we're not like totally.

We're just different people.

Well, you certainly are, because you literally live in a new state now.

But you've spent as much time in this.

You've moved just as much as I have.

Oh, my God.

I'm literally more Florida than you.

You really are.

You're driving.

You're going to Publix.

Yeah.

You're engaging with the local customer rep at Best Eye.

The local economy.

You have a new man named Anthony.

I'm winning the Powerball.

Things are like a Florida icon.

Everything's coming up cloudy.

Okay, I think we should jump right in because we're about to hit 30 minutes and we have not yet spoken about.

And we have a lot to do.

We have to do the Fast Five.

It's Monday, so everyone has to unburden themselves.

And

as much as we want to talk about ourselves, we're here to do a duty, and that's to un their burdens.

That is so true.

And that duty usually revolves around duties, so let's get into it.

And it's not going to happen in the Shapiro's car.

No.

So without further ado, it is time for the Fast Five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite bite out of your morning toast.

How.

How.

How.

How.

How.

How.

How.

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Florida episode of The Morning Toast.

Yes, thank you so much.

Okay, our first story, some light fare.

Selena Gomez celebrates her 30th birthday with her bestie, Taylor Swift.

And a lot of other celebs.

Her party looked poppin'.

What are the details on the party?

Because I personally only saw this photo.

So Olivia Rodrigo was there.

Billie Eilish was there.

Selena's like inner circle.

It looked so much fun.

I've been seeing so much about it on TikTok and people were obviously quaking that Billie Eilish and Olivia Rodrigo were hanging out together.

Why is that a big deal?

Like just two pop icons.

Oh, for sure.

I've never seen them like hang out.

Like Selena and Taylor.

Right.

And I got to keep an eye out for Selena.

The thing is, I'm constantly keeping an eye out for Selena.

But the thing that broke the internet was Taylor Swift, like finally posting on Instagram.

Thank you, Girly.

Of course, she posted 30, Nerdy, and Worthy with a picture of Selena.

I have, like, I know I keep saying this, but it's really like a testament to how people can change.

I have become such a big Selena Gomez fan.

I love her makeup.

I love her music.

I love her acting.

I love her friendship with Taylor Swift.

I love her as a celebrity.

Like, I love her social media content.

And I used to be like a major hater, and that's because I'm a negative and like disgusting person

so I just love this I love Selena Selina's 30 that's really a coming-of-age Disney story it is and I think a lot of us are 30 now you know and I think that's what that says like I will soon be 30 but Selena is reminding me like that's what's coming for me yeah and it actually is really nice like amid all of the like the Disney friendships breaking up and then like Taylor's girls coad breaking up that Selena and Taylor have remained tried and true.

It's a statement on friendship and females supporting females.

Yes.

Which we know all about.

Right, because we support each other when it's convenient.

Was there anyone who should have been there that wasn't there?

What is the talker saying?

People aren't really speculating on any feuds.

It just looked like a really fun party and Selena looked beautiful and like she doesn't really hang out with a ton of other celebrities.

She has like an inner circle.

So people were just excited to see her like being out and about, girl.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Which is exciting.

Have you watched Only Murder Season 2 yet?

No.

I do know there's a really big plot line about a squatter.

So I'm like kind of nervous because I'm convinced I have one.

Couldn't be triggering, though.

I hope my squatter is limited up while I'm gone.

I left drinks for him in the fridge, a nice blanket, fresh towels.

How do you know it's a him?

It's a him.

You can feel the male energy.

I heard him cough, and it was definitely a man's cough.

Interesting.

Yep.

So I hope he's doing well.

And no, they're dropping episodes on.

His toaster?

Do you think he's watching listening?

Maybe he's just like a really big fan.

Maybe he's listening in the walls right now.

Maybe it's Kylie.

If you could say something to your squatter, what would you say?

Hmm.

That's a good question.

Give me a minute.

Would you even want him to leave or do you like the company?

Honestly, if I had the opportunity to speak to him, I think I'd politely decline.

Like, the way we kind of live parallel lives is really poetic and beautiful, you know?

Yeah.

And are you sure it's not a ghost?

Because in the Hotel Nantucket, there's a ghost that...

I'm going to read the book.

No, no, no.

She comes out, chapter one.

She's one of the characters, and it's like a cute addition, even though you would think it would be weird.

And it was just making me think, like,

what else could be haunted?

Maybe your apartment.

You did say it's pre-war.

It's very old and spooky.

Brian Kelly's house has a ghost named Guinevere, a previous tenant who I believe died in the home in like the 1800s, because Brian's house is like an old farmhouse.

It's been around.

You would actually find it interesting.

It reminded me of the Gilded Age.

Yes.

Doyle's Town.

Yes, you were telling me.

And Guinevere definitely pops her head out every now and then, and it's actually really spooky.

Like, you can feel Guinevere's presence.

And I kind of love the name Guinevere.

Yeah.

Guinevere.

You should put it it on your list of baby names if you're thinking about having a girl.

I will put it when my phone isn't busy doing double duty as a backup recording, just in case this one doesn't actually work and we need backup audio.

We have so much unnecessary equipment.

Like, we have to do that.

No, because you have so much trauma from losing episodes.

If you lose an episode once,

you will have backup of everything.

True podcasters know, like, always have your voice memos be recording everything you're doing.

Like, just en caso reque.

The crazy thing about Michaela is that, like, she speaks a little Spanish.

Yeah.

She's so, like, bilate.

I'm like, just living in a home with her, I'm amazed.

Kids are amazing.

They really are.

Dovers are amazing.

When they go from just being like babies who need you to like do everything for them to like a sense of independence, like she can walk wherever she wants, she can communicate.

Like it's really jarring.

Yeah, but then they just need to reach that third level where they start to do stuff for you.

So that's what I keep saying.

Like I definitely see

why people want to have kids because when I have kids and they become of the age where they can communicate with me like 100%, we're speaking like, I don't know how old that is, like four?

Like when you're fully able to like speak the language.

Yeah.

Have a person.

Yeah.

I don't know.

And like listen to me.

I will be using my children as servants like whatever I can.

Like you think I don't get up now?

I do.

I will, if I'm, we're sitting right here, ready?

This is going to be an example.

We're sitting here podcasting 10 years from now.

Okay.

Our kids are downstairs.

Okay.

Joey, I'm calling Joey.

I don't know why my kid's Italian.

Joey, Joey.

Because I need my scrunchie over there, six feet for me.

I will bring my child from upstairs to go get me my scrunchie.

And that's on giving them life.

100%.

I don't make the rules.

100%.

And I would say that's the one issue I have with the Streis brothers.

They don't have thumbs and they can't fucking help.

I keep waiting for them to be able to listen to me, understand what I'm saying, and communicate back so that I can say,

literally, you can let yourself out.

The doorknob's right there.

Get on your back two feet.

No, if only they had thumbs.

I know.

But they're so darn cute.

They're so darn cute.

Are you ready for our next story?

The saga continues because Adele finally announces the rescheduled dates for her Las Vegas residency, Las Vegas.

She said she's more excited than ever.

Adele is taking Las Vegas in just a few months and attempting to remove the stain from her reputation.

It's going to be tough.

On Monday morning, the singer announced the rescheduled dates for her long-awaited Cin City residency at Caesar's Palace Coliseum, now set to begin in November and run through March 2023.

It is the real Caesars Palace, by the way.

Yeah.

Quote, words can't explain how ecstatic I am to be finally able to announce these rescheduled shows.

I was truly heartbroken to have to cancel them, but after what feels like an eternity of figuring out logistics for the show that I really want to deliver and knowing it can happen, I'm more excited than ever.

I mean, she's going to have to do fireworks

because it was so cute.

She needs to rappel off the building like pink.

Right, it was so crazy.

They couldn't get Adele.

Logistics, they couldn't happen.

It needs to be mind-blowing, and not just her performance down, because you go to an Adele concert, and if she had stuck stuck with the original date, people would have had no expectations other than Adele just being the beautiful singer that she is.

Now, with all the attention drawn to the actual quality of the production, it has to be larger than life.

It has to be the biggest thing Vegas has ever done.

It needs to have a circus, a pool, pyrotechnics.

I won't be satisfied.

And then, maybe then I will believe her.

Yeah.

Because not to like doubt her, but I'm definitely doubtful.

I think a lot of people are.

And this is just, as we've said so many times, it's a weird story.

It definitely tainted a lot of people,

her for a lot of people, in their mind.

And now she has to put on the show that did need to be canceled because the logistics didn't work out.

Right.

So we'll have to wait and see again.

Oh, we're always waiting and seeing.

Speaking of waiting and seeing, did you make a story, Ricky Martin?

Yes.

Okay, because I wanted to.

You can't just throw out that he like dated his nephew and then not take it back when the claims are dropped.

Okay, yeah, so we'll get there.

I just wanted to, I forgot to ask you that before we started recording because I was so feclimped.

Yeah, no, we we waited and we saw and now we see because we waited.

And we saw.

And that's what we got because we waited.

And I love seeing once we've waited.

Yeah, and I also love waiting before I see.

100%.

Right.

So, Adele, she's getting back out there.

I think that's great.

I don't think I'll be going unless I just happen to be in Vegas.

I don't think that's anything I would fly in for.

And no, but if I'm there, that's something I would totally love to see.

That sounds like a gorgeous way to spend the evening.

Like, put on a cocktail dress, shake yourself a martini, and go see Adele.

And go,

hey on me, baby.

You're like definitely getting better.

I was just a child.

Didn't understand.

Didn't get that chance too.

It's like actually good.

Am I Adele?

No.

But that was good.

No, I think I am.

No, actually, I can tell you for sure you're not.

If you were Adele, you wouldn't be Harry's mom.

Oh,

shots fired.

But you're definitely getting better.

It's probably from spending so much time with me all these years.

It's finally, you know.

No, but as you grow, your voice changes.

Listen to an episode from four years ago.

Actually, don't.

That's actually cool.

That's so true.

And maybe I'm just growing into a gorgeous singer.

You know what's crazy?

What if we grow?

My voice is getting worse.

What if in four years from now, like, we have

I have usurped you?

The reality of that is not that crazy.

I'm definitely, my voice is getting worse and worse as I get older.

I think probably like the best voice I ever had was when I was like 18.

And ever since then, it's been like a down.

I don't think that's true.

When do you think it was the best?

I don't think that, like, you know, I'm your biggest fan vocally.

And I think.

So just vocally?

You're not my biggest fan anywhere else.

Well, I'm speaking in the vocal category.

I'm definitely your biggest comedy fan.

You are.

Yeah.

Even though I'm not a good comedy supporter because I laugh silently.

And that's a really big problem at live shows.

That's true.

People like you should be escorted out immediately.

There it is.

There it was.

Etiquette, silenter, and silent.

And when I'm dying, bowled over.

Look at this.

For a podcast, you guys probably think I never laugh at Claudia's jokes.

That's why we have to do.

People are always like, why don't you guys just switch to podcasts only?

It's literally so much cheaper and easier.

And we're like, no one will know what Jackie's ever truly feeling because she's a silent laugher.

It's so true.

I just laughed right there.

I just thought right.

But you didn't hear it.

You need to work on it.

Like for your laughter.

Okay.

Okay.

I'll start a fake laugh.

Just for your, like, it's literally your job to laugh on a microphone.

Yeah.

But I have one job.

Literally, you were also saying something before this.

I was.

It sounded interesting.

Oh, you're my biggest fan.

I'm your biggest fan.

And I think your voice is as beautiful as ever.

The only thing is you could stand to, if you're going to, like, sing on the show, which you do, it's your job.

You could stand to work with a vocal coach and hone your skills.

So I have to tell you.

I know, we all know you did it in college once and you didn't get much out of it, but then in hindsight, you actually learned a a few things, but you like didn't take it seriously.

Do I say that story a lot?

Maybe just to me personally.

So every semester at NYU for an extra two credits.

Oh, here we go.

Okay.

I would do...

Do you have a sip of your coffee while we wait?

Yeah, it's over here.

Oh, it looks watery.

I would do vocal lessons, and that's how I ended up, like, only having to take one class in my final semester.

And they were actually some of the worst times of my life.

I just found they were taught by grad students who didn't want to be fucking teaching me, which I totally understand.

And honestly, I want to be taught by a real teacher, not a fucking grad student.

And it was really, honestly, a waste of time.

Oh man, I've been actually meaning to say this.

Thank you so much for bringing it up.

So on TikTok, I often, I'm done with the other NYU story, by the way.

Like, I don't even care.

But it reminded me of, like, I have like this thing for voice teachers.

Like, I kind of fucking hate them.

Okay.

Because I'm on TikTok and I'm always getting like vocal teacher reacts to amazing Ariana Grande riff.

Okay.

And I'm not going to say who this girl is.

Honestly, I don't even know.

But like, whatever you're about to say, why do we care?

Right.

What about lay person reacts?

Right.

They're just like basically showing you the technique.

Like, Ariana is able to do like a belt in her high voice, which is amazing.

You know what?

I'm not an expert, but I can tell you Ariana Grande is doing amazing things with her voice.

So they're just explaining the technique and basically just being like, amazing, amazing, so guttural, like all this shit.

And I see like the same woman a lot of the times.

And I never really noticed her.

I'm just like, okay, whatever.

And then a video of her singing actually came up on my TikTok, and I was flabbergasted.

Like, it was an atrocity.

And

I'm like, who the fuck are you?

Who have you been all this time?

Doesn't surprise me.

Those who can't do teach.

But I don't like that phrase.

I think only when it comes to like special, like, I'm sure, like, a math teacher didn't want to become a fucking mathematician.

They wanted to become a teacher because they love kids, you know?

And then, like, math was just the area that they hated the least.

Right.

Yes, those who can't do teach, maybe, like, okay, soccer coaches.

Like, they would have loved to have been a pro-soccer player.

Yeah.

Those who can't teach teach gym.

That's so mean.

I take umbrage with those who can't do teach because that implies that our teachers are failures and they're not.

No, I totally agree with you, but I do think it's like in a specialized field.

In sports, or like, okay, maybe those who teach wood shop wanted to be carpenters, maybe.

You know, perhaps.

But I don't believe when it comes to educating the youth in regular school subjects.

Also, justice for gym teachers, because I love gym, and we had some great gym teachers.

I love the crazy ass gym teachers.

We had one when we were really little.

Remember in grade school?

Yeah.

Yeah.

He was just like a crazy ass gym teacher.

But that's what the kids need in gym.

Yeah, no.

They don't need to be handheld.

They need a game of dodgeball.

Yeah.

And it needs to be a kid-eat-kid world out there.

You know, I think our old gym teacher, Mr.

Lonney from Vermont, I believe his daughters are toasters.

I think I met them.

And what kind of, he was a hardcore gym teacher.

Yeah, I know.

And like, he didn't fuck around.

And I think he had a gym teaching assistant who was like, you know, would placate to the weaker campers.

But he was tough.

No, he took his job seriously, and he taught, he also coached the boys' basketball team, and they fucking loved him.

Yeah, no, that's good.

That's a good teacher.

That's a good teacher.

Like, sure, anyone can be an easy teacher who's just like, yeah, you know, let's watch movies all day.

Let's be a bad teacher.

But bad teacher was also a good teacher because she was tough on the kids.

And the kids need that.

Basically, the message is it always comes back to bad teacher.

Always.

And be tough on the kids.

They can handle it.

Yeah.

And they need it.

They need it.

And these kids are out of control.

These kids are not okay.

Yeah.

And justice for gym teachers.

And good luck to Adele at her Vegas residency.

Yeah.

How can we get here?

Vocal teaching.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Because Kiki Palmer is firing back at a comparison to Zendaya over colorism.

She said, I'm an incomparable talent.

I agree with that.

Kiki Palmer doesn't appear to appreciate the recent social media conversation comparing her career to that of Zendaya.

She said a Saturday tweet, not she said, Hollywood Reporter said, a Saturday tweet drew attention for claiming that a perceived difference in mainstream popularity between Palmer, who currently stars in Jordan Peele's Nope, which is like killing at the bottom of this right now.

People are so

I we have to talk about this after, but like how Jordan Peale became like the new M.

Night Chamolay, and even though M.

Night is like still really big, like how he became overnight like the greatest thriller director is so interesting.

So interesting.

But so there's a tweet that drew attention that claimed that Zendaya's mainstream popularity, quote, is one of the clearest examples of how colorism plays out in Hollywood.

The Twitter thread pointed out that Kiki Palmer and Zendaya are both former child stars, but that Nope is being described in some circles as Palmer's breakout role.

But that would just be to people who are unfamiliar with talent to uncultured circles.

Uncultured circles.

Everyone knows her breakout role was T-R-U-E-J-A-C-K-S-O-N-V-P.

Anyway, so Kiki then tweeted, quote, a great example of colorism is to believe I can be compared to anyone.

I'm the youngest talk show host ever, the first black woman to start in her own show on Nickelodeon, and the youngest and first black Cinderella on Broadway.

I'm an incomparable talent, baby.

This is Kiki Palmer.

100% agree.

I don't like comparing the comparing of two.

the two of them, but also I do believe Kiki Palmer had like a break in her career after True Jackson, which is why it feels like maybe Zendaya like accelerated a little bit more.

But I find Kiki Palmer to be like one of the most underrated talents in America.

Yes.

Hysterical.

She does it all.

She is a singer.

She's a dancer.

She's one of the funniest actresses of all time.

She's gorgeous.

Like, she definitely doesn't get enough credit.

And I'm glad that like this nope movie is becoming so big because it's exactly what she deserves.

But I could go in, I could literally write a thesis on that.

100%.

But I also think it's just about what you consume because everything that Kiki Palmer does, like, I am a big fan of.

I actually feel like I might have seen more Kiki Palmer projects than Zendaya.

Like, she was in Scream Cream, she was in Hustler, she was in Aquila and the Bee.

Aquila and the B.

Plus, she's like a digital star, too, because she like does comedy online, and that parlayed into a TV hosting gig.

Yeah.

Plus, she has that iconic video.

She's two.

I know what you were going to say.

I'm sorry to this man.

And you know what's so funny?

You know what she's talking about.

Dick Cheney.

I'm sorry to this man.

And then also, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

I know it ain't the stallion.

You know it's your girl.

Oh, I don't know that one.

She was last year at the Met Gala, the Vogue correspondent, which is thank you, Vogue, for finally doing something in June.

And she was hosting, I think, maybe their TikTok or whatever, doing interviews with everyone.

And when Meg thee Stallion came up, she sang that.

And I can't believe you don't know that sound.

It was everywhere for like three months on TikTok.

Oh.

I guess people on Reels weren't using it.

They were.

Well, I also don't watch Reels with sound because everyone just uses the same like sad songs that are meant to make a mediocre video.

That's literally the point.

They say, put this over the last video on your camera to make it feel like a mad.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I'm just like, no.

yeah, no.

Just the point I'm trying to drive home here is like, I fucking love Kiki Paul.

No, me as well.

She also tweeted, I've been a leading lady since I was 11 years old.

I have over 100 plus credits and currently starring in an original screenplay.

That's the number one film at the box office.

Hashtag nope.

I've had a blessed career thus far.

I couldn't ask for more, but God continues to surprise me.

No, she's amazing, and I hate that people are literally saying anything about her because I love her and she deserves more roles.

That's really the more electricity.

I feel like she gets a lot of opportunities, but she deserves more.

More.

She's like a true tower.

I want more.

I want my dinner now.

I love Kiki Palmer.

She's actually, we should add her to our list of dream guests.

Dream guests and eligible bachelorettes.

I don't know.

Is she single?

I don't keep up with her personal life.

Like, I'm really...

I'm sorry, my phone is doing double duty.

I can't go to my eligibles list.

Like a patron of her art.

You know, I don't keep up with her personal life.

True.

Just if she's in something like, I want to watch it.

Yeah, she does it for the art.

Yeah.

We love art.

And as patrons, pat patrons of the art, we love that.

Yeah.

Are you sweating?

Always.

I'm so caliente.

I'm hot, but I'm not sweating it.

Kiki Palmer would be a great podcaster.

100%.

She's so funny, and her voice is just like

she's a great voice.

Everything she says is funny, whether she tries to or not, because she's just like, like a physically and vocally funny person.

Yeah.

I love her.

Yeah.

Well, she was doing talk show hosts, which is like, you know,

what you do before you decide to podcast.

No, what you do before your way down.

Yes.

Or on your way up.

Yeah, she hosted like one of the hours of the Today Show with Sarah and Michael.

It didn't last long, but the show was.

Not hurt.

It wasn't her fault.

No.

I blame Sarah.

I'm kidding.

I don't even know who that is.

That's the point.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yes, I see your iPad, and I'm very excited to discuss.

Oh, I like sitting close together because you can see the iPad.

I know.

And then get all excited.

Before we move on, I was able to wrap up the Adele thing at the end because I saw your iPad.

Totally.

And do you have something to say before we get into our next story that you see on the iPad?

I got so invested in communicating with my sis, I literally forgot my job.

I'm starving.

Like, what are you making me after this?

Something so delicious, but it's going to be health-conscious because I know that you're a healthful girly, which is why our next sponsor is.

Okay, let me do it.

Sorry.

You teed me up.

Sorry, I didn't even realize I was genuine.

I'm genuinely hungry.

I wasn't trying to make like an ad break.

I was just trying to let you know, like, after

we do this, like, you are responsible for feeding me.

Oh, okay.

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What do you have to lose?

Love it.

Thank you so much, Claudia.

It's a pleasure.

Our next story that has us all excited: Zach Efron returns to East High from High School Musical.

Finally acknowledging us after years of ignorance.

And it wasn't bliss.

Wildcats everywhere, raise your hands up in the air.

Wildcats everywhere.

Wave your hands up in the air.

That's the way we do it.

Let's get to it.

Come on, everyone.

I have to say, just really quickly, I think perhaps my favorite line from any high school musical song ever, and I only recently came to this realization when there was a trend on TikTok of kids filming their last year of high school with the song in the background and like doing prom and graduation.

I was like actually crying.

I wish the rest of my life could feel just like a

high school music.

No, I really like I want the rest of my life to feel like a high school musical.

It's like so cute.

It is really cute.

And I get like chills when I hear that line.

Sorry.

That's beautiful.

Well, we're we're also getting chills because Zach Ephraim returned to East High from High School Musical and said, don't you forget about me with his fist up in the air and a fist emoji.

And it's giving reunion.

Of course, that's obviously where all of our minds go.

What else could he be doing there?

It's not some, you don't just like pass East High, Salt Lake High School East every single day.

Right.

And so Zach has been like, you know, very not so subtly, like,

not ignoring the franchise, but ignoring the franchise.

No, he's bigger and better.

He didn't come back.

They did like that Zoom thing, but you know what?

I was.

He's better than Zoom.

He was depressing, so I'm glad he wasn't there.

But like, he's never really embraced the post-HSM life.

And everyone does.

Vanessa Hudgens doesn't do it a lot.

Ashley Tisdale does it all the time.

Somebody turned the air conditioning on in here, and I want to kiss them on the mouth and then give them a fella.

Okay, like, where did that fucking vet just come from?

And where has it been this whole time?

It's right above us.

There's a vent, and it just started doing.

I think the AC guy is here because Zach was saying he's coming today.

And he's just so

happy.

That chance getting fellatio when he's done.

And then we'll totally understand.

Go give him a big kiss on the mouth.

No, literally a percentage of the ads today, like we're going to give him like a commission on this episode.

It feels

like

my mood suddenly shifted.

I'm like, why am I feeling gloriously, delightfully happy?

And that's why.

Wow.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

That just gave me exactly what I needed.

Okay.

Heaven.

Heaven.

Yeah.

He's been ignoring all the losers on my School Musical, and now he is embracing them with open arms.

And I think we're going to get some sort of quality reunion.

Yeah, well, people think that now this is like a sign because why now?

You know, you've literally spent 15 years ignoring everyone.

Does this mean something, or are you just feeling generous?

Like, seriously?

I think it's a lot of things.

Also, maybe it took him 15 years to get over Vanessa.

I mean, it's taken me 15 years to get over them.

And then just when I was over them, boom, Austin Butler and her break up.

Just when I was over them, I see this picture.

Courtside.

Back in the day, courtside.

The love I have in my heart for them as a couple and like the way they really elevated that franchise because they were genuinely in love is not something I take for granted, honestly.

Like I'm extremely grateful to them.

Yeah, me too.

And I'm just scrolling through the pictures in this article, and it brings me down to a picture of Sharpe and Ryan, like doing their thing.

Do you know they have like major beef?

Like Chris and Ashley?

Yeah.

Why?

I don't know.

That's just what I heard recently.

Do you want to hear something interesting?

I think they say, and this is is just the rumor mail, that she was just difficult to work with.

She was giving Sharpe.

Oh.

But how could you

start acting?

How could you be Sharpe and not start acting like her?

Wait, I have to be Claudia on Halloween.

I have to tell you something.

There was like a huge uproar on TikTok that I think you would find interesting because

Austin Butler obviously dated Vanessa Ann.

Vanessa Ann and Ashley Tisdale are really good friends.

He did an interview during press to promote

Elvis, and it was like, who do you FaceTime the most?

And he's like, probably my best friend, Ashley Tisdale, which is weird because that was his ex-girlfriend's best friend.

So, have they, you know, maintained a friendship?

Has Ashley maintained a friendship with both of them, or did she dump Vanessa for Austin?

The rumor that I read, and like, so they used that to mean that Ashley stayed friends with Austin because, like, his star was rising, and like she wanted to be his friend, and that her and Vanessa are less close because of it, but they're still friendly, but not as close as they once were.

If that's the type of person Ashley Tisdale is, like, that's that's literally like the worst type of person you can be, Right, and that's a really bad thing to say about someone if it's not true.

Like, if it's not true.

If you stay friends with Austin because she's thirsty.

So now we just need to know, like, is she friends with Vanessa?

And so we confirm.

What I read meant that said that they were friendly, but we were just saying yesterday.

The new way to be enemies with someone is to be like fake friends still.

Yeah, like still comment on their Instagram, still like everything.

Still follow them.

Like

used to be like you got into a fight with a friend and you blocked them and like that was that.

But now it's like, no, the way to hate someone is to like still follow them, still support what they do, but just hate them.

Yeah, and like it's very possible Vanessa hates Ashley, but doesn't want to make it a big story, so keeps liking and keeps commenting.

Yeah,

interesting.

Yeah,

but back to Zach's post, like it does, it means a lot because you know, we all fell in love with him in that one scene, and then he just never kind of looked back.

And you know, who's over the moon about this?

Bart Johnson.

Yes, he's one of his guy who plays his dad, Bart Johnson is his name,

his entire life since the wrapping of of film three has been dedicated to being Coach Taylor online in real life, like at Connecticut.

On Caddy.

It's giving major loser energy for sure, but I appreciate that he's keeping the fantasy alive.

And there's something, but there's something really sweet about it and

just wholesome.

Yeah.

He's also Blake Lively's brother-in-law.

Yes, his wife is Robin Lively, Blake's sister.

Which makes it better.

And less sad.

Like, okay, yeah, you're cosplaying online, but you get to have dinner with Ryan Reynolds probably twice a year.

Right.

I would say more.

Her and her sister are close.

Yeah.

And he seems like an affable guy, and so does Ryan.

Okay, well, I know Ryan and Blake.

Don't they live in Canada?

What?

Do they?

Yeah, it's like a weird thing.

I didn't know that.

I love Canada, by the way.

I mean that in a negative way.

Please keep watching the toast.

We do have a big Canadian audience.

We're big in Canada.

Are you ready for it for the final story?

No, I really am.

Even though the air is on.

So I'm actually like, I couldn't feel it.

I'm feeling better.

Literally, the color has come back to my face.

I thought I was going to literally have to go to the hospital.

No, you even heard me say, isn't it warm in here?

I know, and you don't say that's what I'm doing.

I don't really complain about the temperature.

And even if the one is warm, it has to be like Dante's Inferno before I complain about it.

It's just so crazy because when we podcast, like, in our apartments in New York, it's not central air, so it's just like a big old humming machine.

And you can never podcast with your air conditioning on if you live in New York.

But, like, homes, like, it's, like, not the same.

No, it's just.

This vent is just giving us life, and it's not making a sound.

Not a sound.

We didn't even know it until we felt it.

It feels so good.

And we unknowingly put this couch right underneath the van.

And I just want to say, like, someone was on our side.

Yeah.

We had an angel on our shoulder.

A ghost.

Guinevere.

Guinevere.

Our fifth and final story is just as for Ricky Martin.

Because he's returning to the stage after his court case was dismissed.

As we reported last week,

in Puerto Rico, there was a case filed against him by his nephew alleging stalking harassment after they terminated a relationship.

Also, it didn't say that in the article that we first reported it on, but I believe it was his step-nephew.

So there was no blood.

Which is just, it's still bad, but it's a huge difference.

Different.

Yes, yes.

It's different.

It's better.

Yeah.

Not good, but better.

Now the case has been dismissed, and he took the stage at the Hollywood Bowl in L.A.

With some help from the L.A.

Philharmonic.

Together, they delivered a night filled with live music, dance numbers, and iconic Martin flavor.

No, honestly, like, good for him for getting back out there because things like this, like,

you know,

they can change a perception of like your, like, the, they can just, if you let, if they fester and like you don't address it or like you take some time off, obviously, because this is so, you know, taxing, jarring,

it's like the thing that remains in people's minds.

And what's so sad about this is like people will read the crazy headline, but they'll never really follow up with it unless they're toaster

research.

And we waited and seed, and that's why it's important to do that and to course correct.

But something like this is so damaging, and it's one of those things that like people will remember forever.

Not me.

Tabula Rassa.

Same.

Tabula Rassa.

People who don't keep up with pop culture, they heard it because it's so crazy.

And then in a few years, be like, didn't he date his nephew?

And then it'll turn and be like, Wasn't he with his son?

No, exactly.

Yeah, exactly.

So it's so damaging, and it's really fucked up.

And now I'm just like feeling like I need to be defensive of Ricky Martin.

Yeah.

And I am.

So here we are.

That took a turn.

Didn't think I'd be saying that last week.

No, not at all.

Also, what's the Ricky Martin song?

Like, Living Levita.

Hello,

Jiboo, Jim.

Her skin is the color of moga.

She will wear you out.

Live in La Vida.

Such a good song.

Such a good song.

Like an insane bop.

Yeah, insane.

And imagine if we had to cancel that song.

No.

A loss.

That's honestly, some songs

are uncancelable.

And one of them, and I'm sorry to say it, is Ignition by R.

Kelly.

I was going to say, I believe I can fly.

No, I could live without that one.

I could live without ignition.

It's the actually, I'm not going to say it, but

like if I'm drunk at a club and it comes on, I'm not protesting and like being a good person.

Like I am breaking it down.

I didn't realize he sang ignition.

And the other one, I think it's World's Greatest.

Okay, that song is.

No, and also, like, the verse where it's like, I'm that star up in the sky.

I'm

the one.

It's so cloudy, don't do it.

Yeah, I made it.

I'm the world's greatest.

No, that's a song that's really tough to lose.

And that's what, really what struck me the most in that lifetime documentary

about him was people's inability to cancel him because so many of their weddings, family reunions, bar mitzvahs, like things like that, you use those songs.

And so you're connected to your family and your memories and your childhood with that music.

And people are having a really hard time with it.

Yes.

Also, what struck me from the Lifetime documentary about those songs is like, especially with I Believe I Can Fly, it had a very gospel,

religious element to it.

So it was like he was

the star, that song made him like godly almost even harder to cancel.

No, but he got what he needed.

Yeah.

We waited and seed and we saw and justice was served.

I'm still waiting and seeing on Ghalane.

I just don't feel good about it.

Do you hear most recently she was moved to a low-security prison in Florida where she can do yoga all day?

Florida?

Yeah.

That's where he was like in prison.

That's where he was.

And it's like the chillest prison ever.

And we still, we didn't find out one fucking person.

Not a name.

How can she go to jail for sex trafficking when we don't know what happened and who was trafficking?

To whom?

To whom.

That's upsetting.

Really fucking upsetting.

Now she's living the life of Riley down here.

Yeah, of course.

Oh, that's disgusting.

Yeah.

I will never stop talking about that.

Yeah, keep talking.

Bring it up anytime.

I'm always happy to chat about it.

Me too, but we have our duty to do because people need burdens that need to be und.

Yeah, and there's probably some duty in there as well.

For sure.

Knowing you guys.

It is our Monday segment.

Knowing us, honestly.

It's Unburden Yourselves.

If you do something over the weekend that you're just like carrying around with you that is really bringing you down, you're so embarrassed, hand it to us.

Email us at unburdenyourselves at gmail.com, and we're gonna make you feel better about it.

And once you give to us, it's gone.

Like you can't think about it anymore.

That's the rule.

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All right, you ready?

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Ready as I'll ever be.

Let's hear it.

Hi, guys.

What do we do?

What do we do?

Oh my God.

Sorry, I just had a stroke.

Hi, love y'all.

I'm writing into unburdened myself from literally three months ago, and I still cringe about it every day.

Flashback, it's Easter.

My husband was visiting me in a different city that I was traveling to for work.

How many years ago?

Sorry.

Three months ago.

Oh, sorry.

So it was Easter.

Her husband was visiting her because she was traveling for work.

She's newly married, and he had gotten me two Easter baskets.

One with like classic Reese's, Cadbury eggs, some slippers.

I don't know why I said it.

You're making me hungry.

And the second one was bragging.

The second one was filled with like sexual items.

So we had gotten sheer underwear, sex dice, a raunchy card game, and butt plugs.

Is that an Easter tradition?

I think he was just trying to spice up married life.

You know, they're separated.

She's working.

He's trying to make it nice, you know?

They had butt plugs that had rhinestones on the end.

She just wanted us to know that little detail.

I feel like it's going to come in handy.

Yeah.

We ended up stopping at his parents' house for dinner.

All goes well, and we head back to his truck and we begin to back out.

We were quickly stopped by my father-in-law running out to give us something my husband had forgotten inside.

He swings open the front door,

immediately noticed the basket, looks me and and my husband both in the eyes, hands us what we forgot, and shuts the door and walks back to the house.

We've never discussed this ever again.

I'm mortified that my father-in-law saw my bedazzled butt plug set.

Please help me forget this moment in life.

That's tough.

So, what?

Your father-in-law knows that

his daughter-in-law loves his husband so loves his son so much that she would put a rhinestone up her butt.

Like,

yeah, I mean, obviously, it's not ideal, and you know, I don't know what they're

what they are like.

But I also feel like parents in general have an easier time with like their son, thinking about their son engaging in such things.

As opposed to like a sibling?

As opposed to their daughter.

No.

You know, like, yes.

So I think being the daughter-in-law, it's okay.

It's okay.

If you were a son-in-law and, you know, your wife's dad handed her butt plotter,

that would be much worse.

That's actually so true.

But also, like, I don't know, it's not that weird.

Like, parents, you know,

gave birth to you.

Like, they know what happens.

They fuck.

Like, I don't know.

It's just an awkward moment, but, like, I don't think they'll think of you any differently knowing that you guys like have a healthy, vibrant sex life.

You know, like, if my

son, like, I found, let's say my son and my daughter-in-law are here at my house spending the weekend, and I go in to clean because I love to clean, and I find, like, vibrators and ball gags, I would be, like, good for them.

Yes, is there anything that you could find?

Like,

is there a line?

Um, no, honestly, no.

I think I'm very open.

Like, I'm an open-minded person.

Like, I don't, I don't know.

I don't know a lot of sex toys, so I'm like trying to think.

Like, anal beads, I would be like, okay, maybe, you know, not for me, but good for them.

Yeah.

I really, like, I'm really not a judgmental person.

So I guess the question here is, like, what are your in-laws like?

Are they judgmental?

Right.

And she, I feel like that she was in there.

Can you say again?

Just sexual things.

Sheer underwear.

Cute.

Sex dice.

A car cute.

It doesn't, like, the butt plug is the crazy one, but it's really not that bad.

But it was bedazzled.

That could be, you know, like people have bedazzled shit all the time.

Yeah, and maybe it was a wine stopper.

100%.

And the rest of the stuff is, like, cute and flirty and fun.

And you're married, so, like, it's not like you're using this with a hooker.

Totally.

Don't sweat it.

Don't sweat it.

It's really not a big deal.

Honestly, it sounds like cute and funny.

Yeah.

Enjoy the Reese.

Hey, Jackson-Claude.

Hey.

I have to unburden myself about something I did at work.

I'm an ICU nurse.

I already see the words down below, and it's made for me.

I'm an ICU nurse, and last night at work, a coworker, and wait, sorry.

Last night at work, a coworker and I needed to call someone to ask for help.

The coworker who we were calling is named Tarek, and we couldn't remember his last name that we needed to call him on the special hospital phone.

I fully said, oh, I remember.

It's El Musa.

Needless to say, that the HGTV house flipper turned reality star.

Love Rhombus member was unable to be reached using the hospital phone, and my coworker was so confused and concerned with how I came up with the name Tarek El Musa.

I'm going to chalk it up to a night shift brain.

First of all, that's iconic.

That shit happens to me all the time.

Like, I will, sometimes on the toes, like I will, you're like, what's that girl from,

you know, Scream Queens called?

And I'll say the name of like someone I went to high school with.

I know.

I always get nervous that I'm going to do something like that.

It's mortifying, by the way, because then that person always reaches out and then they think you're thinking about them.

And like, I'm really not.

I'm really not.

It just like was in my brain, you know?

Yeah.

Or like worse, like somebody you like cyber stalk.

Someone whose name you shouldn't know.

Right.

That's really bad.

This is hysterical and not embarrassing at all.

And at least it's like Tarak Al Musa.

Like everybody everybody knows him like he's top of mind he just got engaged like he just did the gender reveal with heather i think they're coming away

oh it was a cute gender reveal does he have any sons yet or does he just have daughters i don't know does he have daughters i but i as the you know tariq el musa resident historian i really should know that and i don't shut on your elmusa i know oh my god i'm i'm like embarrassed almost embarrassed i need to unburn myself now you're fine by the way that's like a funny

celebrity celebrity like now you got on the podcast so the whole thing was worth it you know yeah and now you have this inside joke with your fellow night nurse And it's funny, and like,

don't let this cloud your brain.

Like, you're busy saving lives, you know, but

Tarek El Musa is a firsty, lastie.

Like, it's not your fault.

You just saw, like, that's exactly why you had this predicament, because Tariq El Musa is one word.

There can only be one Tari.

Yeah, no, all other Tariqs, back down.

Or change your last name to Almusa.

Right.

I think I'm changing my first name to Al Musa.

Almusa Ashre.

Like, I'm so connected to them.

Like, I'm obsessed.

You need to marry Tarek.

Claudia Al Musa.

But see, the thing is, it's too close to Christina Alamusa.

Yeah.

All right, ready for our third and final?

Yes.

Hey, Jackson-Claude.

Hey.

Let's get right to it.

Okay.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years, and we've lived together for almost two.

At this point in our relationship, we're pretty open and comfortable with one another, farting in front of each other, peeing with the door open, etc.

The other day, I was getting ready to go to work, a work dinner with a couple of new clients.

I had not yet met them in person.

I was getting ready and trying on different outfits and like greeting myself in the mirror, like pretending.

I wanted to see how I would look to to the clients when they met me for the first time, I guess.

But I was like smiling, waving, and putting my hand out for a handshake to myself in front of the mirror.

My boyfriend walked in on me doing this and absolutely roasted me.

I wasn't that embarrassed in the moment, but to be honest, I was like, whatever you see, you do so much more embarrassing stuff than this.

But thinking back on it, I'm like, holy shit, I'm a huge freak who talks to themselves in the mirror and pretends to meet new people.

And now my boyfriend knows he's dating a huge freak.

Ugh, I keep cringing every time I think back.

Help me on my burden.

There are cringy things that people do in the mirror, and that is not one of them.

Like you're a professional girl.

You're taking things seriously.

You want to see how every, like, every angle that people are going to see you from.

Like, what does your dress do when you put your hand out?

Does it go up too high?

Like, please, does he not, like, he should get his fat fucking ass up and network, and he would know what it's like to practice talking in the mirror.

No, and I have to say,

talking to yourself in the mirror, you have to be an extremely confident person to do that, because it feels weird, and most people would be like, no, that's too weird.

I would feel like a loser.

And the fact that you're able to just like do it confidently, and like, actually, I've never done that before, but I actually now might start doing that.

That's like like a great idea to like see how you look to other people while you talk.

Yeah, I feel like I've done that, I don't know, in certain situations, like seeing how, like, okay, I'm gonna practice like smiling.

What kind of smile?

Like, I'm going to the DMB.

What smile am I doing?

Like, I don't think that's a weird thing.

It takes a really confident person to do that.

So, like, you sound beautiful, stunning, and smart.

And your boyfriend rose to you sounds like you just have that type of relationship.

Like, I wouldn't take it personally.

As long as he's not like truly making fun of you and making you feel bad or stupid,

you did nothing wrong.

And I think it's really cute and a totally normal thing.

And there's like weirder things you could do in the mirror, like dancing.

Do you do that?

Not in a long time, but now that I have a house, probably.

Oh, for sure, now that I have a house.

I don't have enough mirrors yet.

Honestly, like, I don't think it's that weird.

I feel like I dance in the mirror all the time.

Like, when I'm doing my makeup and I'm playing music, I look at myself and be like, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fuck it.

Live your life.

You guys

only get one life.

Yeah.

And when I started DJT, like, I used to talk to myself in the mirror all the time because I was so nervous.

And the only thing I could do was like talk because the only person I could trust was a girl in the mirror, you know?

I was surrounded by Snatchler.

No, I'm kidding.

I wasn't there.

No, I'm kidding.

But like

you just like you have nowhere to turn to, so you turn to yourself almost.

Uh-huh.

And I found it so immensely helpful.

I still, I talk to myself in the mirror before every show, so there's really nothing wrong with it and you shouldn't be embarrassed.

Don't be.

And if he's making you feel like

too bad about it in a nefarious way, you know what I'm saying?

Let us know.

Red pads.

Red flag.

Red flag.

But other than that, I hope we helped everyone.

They weren't that bad this week, so you guys have nothing to worry about.

They're never that bad, especially once we dissect it and get down to.

It's always worse for the person who's writing it in, but like to fresh ears, it's like it's not that crazy.

Yeah.

So that was UnburdenYourselves at gmail.com.

Coming up on Wednesday, we have Dear Toasters.

So that's deer toasters gmail.com.

And we're back tomorrow for another fabulous audio and video experience.

Yes.

So hopefully we'll take all of today's learnings and tomorrow will be even better.

Oh, so if you're watching on YouTube, because we are working with this new camera, our YouTube videos for this week will be up slightly later.

It's probably going to take about an hour to upload and edit.

So

just stay tuned.

They're coming every day.

But if you're so eager, you can listen to the podcast first.

Yes.

Podcasts are up immediately.

We'll see you tomorrow.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast and Monday Morning Show, where we deliver the fast-fast stories that you need to know everybody through Friday and YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcast can be found.

So it's Spotify, IGN Stitcher, Public Radio, IART Radio Cast Box, all the places where we listen to podcasts, find us the morning toast, leave the five-star review about our beautiful standing smart we are.

Hope you guys have been in Crayob Monday.

In Crayob, make it in Crayob, you guys.

See you tomorrow on

Tuesday.

Have a great day.

Bye.

Bye.