S5 Ep50: Off With Her Head with Stassi Schroeder: Tuesday, April 26th, 2022

What is it that makes the all-new Hyundai Palisade Hybrid an incredible SUV?

Is it the spacious interior that's comfy for the whole crew?

Or the capability to go off-road?

Maybe it's up to 600 plus miles of range?

What if it's all of that and more?

What is it then?

The All-New Hyundai Palisade Hybrid.

Is it the driver behind the wheel?

No.

Are you sure?

The All-New Hyundai Palisade Hybrid.

So much more than just another SUV.

Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more details.

Audival's romance collection has something to satisfy every side of you.

When it comes to what kind of romance you're into, you don't have to choose just one.

Fancy a dalliance with a duke or maybe a steamy billionaire.

You could find a book boyfriend in the city and another one tearing it up on the hockey field.

And if nothing on this earth satisfies, you can always find love in another realm.

Discover modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Allie Hazelwood, the latest romantic series from Sarah J.

Maas and Rebecca Yaros, plus regency favorites like Bridgerton and Outlander, and of course, all the really steamy stuff.

Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com slash wondery.

That's audible.com slash wondery.

Good

morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning shows.

Happy Tuesday.

I'm excited to be in studio with the first timer on the show and your first podcast in two years.

Is that correct?

In two two freaking years.

I don't think you're- No, wait, I don't think you understand what a big deal this is.

Like, same.

Because

for eight years, I was doing podcasts 24-7.

Not just my own, but other people's.

You know how podcasts swap.

Of course.

And then all of a sudden, for two years,

nothing.

Nothing.

So, like, I do feel like I'm gonna puke a little bit.

No, I'm not.

I'm like a tad nervous.

Of course.

I mean, any like interview after like a scandal is like always a big deal, but people are really excited you're on the show.

And today's a special day because it is the pub day for your book yeah and by the way i just have to say the title is so good off with my head the definitive basic bitch handbook to surviving rock bottom it's out today thank you congratulations thank you now i know you were always planning on writing a second book right yeah after the success of next level basic yes so actually um i was like 70 done that second book

and uh shit went down right in June of 2020 and I was like, we're gonna have to regroup.

Right.

And begged my publishers pretty much and was like, please, you're the last, you're the last hope.

The last hope I have.

Please don't get rid of me.

And they said, they gave me the longest extension ever and said, you know what, go rewrite it and rework it.

And this is now what it is.

And it's so much better than what I had before.

Yeah.

Because what I had before was so choogy when you think about it.

Right, and basic.

But it was just a follow-up to next level basic.

Right.

And like there wasn't like the heart

that this has.

And you actually have something to say now, something quite important.

Yes.

So let's go through it.

Okay.

And also, wait, can I just say, I became such a huge fan of yours and Jackie's over

quarantine.

I was like, I didn't listen to any podcasts for a really long time.

Because people were talking about you?

No, just because my podcast got

canceled.

So I was like, I just like can't.

It hurts too much.

I feel that.

And then after a while, I was like, okay, I'm ready to get back in there.

And yours was the first one I started with.

So sweet.

And I am a huge fan.

So

I'm really excited about it.

We love to see toasters just popping up out of nowhere.

It's the best.

But let's talk through it.

Okay, so you

shot to stardom Vanderpump Rules.

I would say a lot of people would consider you their favorite cast member for a really long time.

For a really long time, yeah.

Yeah.

And back in the day.

So you're on the show for what, like seven seasons?

Eight seasons, eight seasons.

Yeah, I took like a I took some time off in the middle, right?

Oh, right.

Who could forget, Patrick in New York?

Yes, thank you for reminding me.

Great time.

Um, and you were really like a fan favorite on the show, and you had all these things going on.

You had the podcast, you had the podcast tour, you had a New York Times best-selling book, so it really seemed like everything was going well.

Then you met Bo and everyone was like, fuck yes, this is how it ends.

Like, it was all really, really going well.

How boring.

No, so something had to happen.

100%.

Something had to happen.

And what I find interesting is like, you really weren't a stranger to controversy, even at the height of all of your success.

You had a lot of backlash for things you had said.

Everyone remembers Nazi chic.

Personally, as a Jew, I wasn't offended by it, but I see that other people were, and I'm not going to diminish your trauma.

But personally, I didn't think it was that big of a deal.

But you had had these little things before.

Yeah, well, no, I had been canceled quite a few times before.

And I talk about this in the intro

of the book where, like, I had made a joke to my friend Katie.

She'd asked me on her podcast, um, you know, if you, do you think you would be canceled again?

And, like, if do you think now you know how to handle it?

And I'm like, I absolutely will know how to handle it if this ever happens to me.

Oh my gosh, I got this.

I've been through being canceled so many times.

You know, no, nothing really could ever prepare a human being for what it's like to be universally hated.

Like, no, no, no.

And I imagine for me, like, the weirdest thing about watching your whole scandal was like, you obviously were were going through the scandal and then found out you were pregnant.

Well, I'd already found out.

I was already we found out you were pregnant.

I apologize.

Yeah.

And I am, and how far along were you when like the major scandal, like the core of it happened?

I was nine weeks pregnant.

Yeah.

And they say the worst thing for a pregnancy is stress.

Is stress, yeah.

The amount of people texting me being like, just try and stay calm.

Like, really?

Just like stay Zen.

Fucking stay Zen.

I'm

sobbing, dry heaving on the floor of my house.

Like, what do you mean, stay Zen?

This baby will get the strength that I have from all of my tears right now and all of my emotional breakdowns.

So, like, I get, you know what?

Please stop telling me to say, stay Zen.

Yeah, but how did you navigate that?

Because, like, you have to be very conscious of your stress levels.

And it's kind of

impossible when you're going through something like this.

It was a good week.

of hell and not being able to to stay stress-free.

But after that week, once everything was was done, like once I was fired from everything.

Right, let's go.

So, Bravo fired you?

They were the, I think, the last one of the last ones to fire me.

Podcast was canceled.

It started with like my

sponsors.

Right, of course.

Which I expect.

I expect that.

I'm like, oh, I've been through that before.

Yeah, sponsors.

Yeah, I'm like, that's fine.

We're going to be fine.

Right.

Then my publicists dropped me, which then had my

made my agency drop me.

So I lost all of my management and all all that

so then it was um

then I think it was Bravo who fired me then my podcast fired me and hits just keep on and they uh deleted all my episodes right and then um my tour venues just started been there started canceling um and then I one of the hardest things was that I'd I'd sold the rights to Next Level Basic.

Oh my god, I was just reading about that in your book.

Yeah, and to be made into an animated series.

And it was like to me that was like the highlight of my career thus far and i'm like you know what i'm gonna be able to like quit reality tv i'll be in like a writer's room working on something creating something doing something different at least like i'll i'll have like this is this is it this is what i've been building towards and um

that also

fell through so the only thing i was left with yeah was this book.

And your Instagram.

And my, which no one liked at that point.

Right, no, of course.

I really couldn't use it.

Were you,

how active on social media were you?

Were you reading everything that was being written?

There were days that I did, and then days where I was like, I will actually throw myself off the roof of my home if I keep doing this.

No, I can't.

So that's when I

stopped looking at social media altogether, except for Pinterest.

Right.

That's such a happy place.

It is.

But you know, when you've infiltrated Pinterest with your scandal, like you're in big trouble.

You know, shit has gone down.

Well, was there a financial element for you?

Because you had just bought a house.

Yes.

Yeah, right?

And then it was like, could your timing have been worse?

Yes, of course.

I just bought a house.

I was about to have a, or I found out I was pregnant.

And like, I'm losing all of my income.

What the fuck am I going to do?

What the fuck am I going to do?

So yeah, that was.

Tough.

Yeah.

So now, what, we're like two years out.

When you look back on that incident, a lot of people were upset.

You called the police on faith.

Well,

there was a tip line that was called.

Okay.

So there was an article written and they had a tip line number.

For the woman in the picture in the article.

And you thought it was faith.

Yes.

And you really did, like in your soul thought it was.

My soul thought it was faith.

And Kristen and I had like

thought that we like did our due diligence.

Crying stoppers.

Just fucking stupid, stupid shit.

Right.

We acted on gossip and that was the problem.

I did not witness anything.

Like, I did not witness faith doing anything.

And that is truly, I think, been the biggest lesson is to, you can't go accusing people of things that you've never witnessed before.

Right.

But yeah.

So Kristen had called a tip line and just left her own information,

not Faith's information.

Yeah.

And they never called us back.

And when you look back on the whole situation now, like at a glance, first of all, what is your, is there a relationship with Faith?

You've spoken to Faith?

No.

So back after.

like the week after I lost like all my jobs and stuff, I had a couple people reach out to her to ask for her number and she didn't want to give it, which I'm like, okay, I have to respect that this person doesn't want to, I get it, 100%.

I wouldn't want to talk to me either.

100%.

So that's been where it's at.

And that hasn't changed.

No.

Interesting.

And so now when you look at that whole situation, you're far from it now.

It's two years out.

You're a mom now.

You're back podcasting on Patreon.

You've evolved in a lot of ways.

What is your main, how do you look at that situation now?

Like, what is your takeaway from it?

I mean, there are a million takeaways.

So if you could be a little more specific.

Yeah, I think like my question is, is how do you see it now?

Do you see it like it was something like it was really hard to go through, but you're glad you went through it because you're a better person now?

Like, how do you 100 fucking percent?

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Because I don't think I, I feel like I was on this path to just not having to think about

real shit.

And I could have easily continued on that path just doing reality TV, living my best life, podcast storing, storing, me, me, me, me, me.

I feel like Beyonce.

Right.

And it really,

I had to really

sit for two years and stew.

And stew, not just stew, but like take a cold, hard, deep look at myself.

And what do I value?

Like, what do I want my life to be?

What have I done wrong?

And why are those things wrong?

And how am I going to not do those things again?

And how do I inform myself enough so that like it that something like that doesn't happen again.

Yeah.

Because I have a daughter.

Right, right.

And that changes everything.

That I have to, you know, she has to look up to me.

And I love that you dedicated obviously your book to your daughter.

It says, Hartford, you saved me.

Can you talk a little bit about writing a book that is so deeply personal?

kind of like, and I've been there, my book is right here, and I've been through the same exact similar situation.

And writing a book, just trying to explain yourself when a lot of people have turned on you and you so desperately like want them to know, like, I'm actually not this person, I'm actually like a great person and I've made mistakes.

And I met it was so emotional for me, and I wasn't pregnant.

So, I know you wrote the majority of the book in your daughter's nursery.

Um, what was that journey like?

Okay, so I will say this: if I wasn't pregnant, I probably

would have spiraled in this situation.

I think that I would have dark passengered the shit out of my life.

And

Hartford being pregnant is what really kept me like having a having purpose.

so like writing this book in her nursery yeah while i'm pregnant imagining like what this kid is gonna be like what i want her to know what i want her to like learn like

that was so soothing and calming

like while i wrote this book because everyone's been at rock bottom yeah and so to some degree to some degree whether it's a breakup or like you know losing a jaw anything okay a death whatever like everyone's been at rock bottom and I missed being able to communicate with my followers and listeners.

And during that time, I wasn't able to do that.

Because if I posted something on Instagram without acknowledging everything that happened, like that's that's bullshit.

It's out of touch.

It totally is.

And so this was my way of

connect, finally being able to connect with them again.

And Hartford was just like

really what made that so special and got me through that without having having to like down bottles of wine and take a Xanax.

And by the way, I think a book is a perfect place to do that because, like, you know, you could have come back in any sort of way, whether it's a podcast, a book.

And I think a book is really

the perfect place for that because you can be very intentional and really think about what you want to say.

I'm the type of person who's always like, you know, speaking and then thinking.

And I think sometimes sit down and really have your thoughts put into words, be really meaningful about what you're trying to say is really helpful.

No, Claudia, that was legit my train of thought because so many people, and this is another thing I learned during that time, don't listen to anyone's advice.

There were so many fucking people, my crisis PR person, just like everyone around me being like, you need to just like keep on going with your normal life.

Like keep out there, like start your podcast again, do this.

Like, and in my soul, in my gut, like my intuition, everything was telling me, like, no, like, there's no interview I can do.

There is no like redemption.

There's nothing like, I have to really like sit and like have my thoughts like they need you you can't just say something in 10 minutes to describe this whole experience.

Like I need to write this out and I need to chill and I need to be low-key and I don't want people to hear from me for the most part until they can read it themselves in its entirety.

And that's why I say in this book before the chapter, the canceling chapter, I say if, you know, the only thing I ask is if you read, is to read this whole chapter in its entirety before you make your judgment because it reads in chronological order.

Got it.

So people could easily just pick up the book and be like, she's not taking accountability.

Well, like, I'm going in chronological order.

So, like, just, can you wait till the later date of that chapter?

Yeah, I agree.

I think it's only fair for a judgment to be made when someone's read the whole book.

Yeah.

And now that your book is out, you did return to podcasting in a different way.

And I was actually really curious about what weird-ass deal you had before that could get, like, did you not own Straight Up with Stasi?

Because I did.

I do.

I did networking.

Oh, I remember how this, I remember.

Thank you for jogging my memory.

I was so confused

because podcasting is so like you own your shit.

Yes.

Okay.

So this is how it happened.

They were able to take it all down from Apple.

Yeah.

But then they gave me back my episodes and I sat there with it being like, do I want to re-release them on the podcast app?

Do I want to do that?

Is that making a statement by me like putting them out there?

I don't want people to misconstrue that as being like, I'm still here.

Listen to me, bitches.

So I'm like, you know what?

I'm just going to keep them, hold on to them, and that I have them.

And I think people who have subscribed, they can still actually listen to them.

But

if you wanted to go back and do straight-up Wastati again, you could.

Oh, I want to.

You do?

Yes.

No, I absolutely want to.

Because your podcast.

Because I miss it.

Right.

Miss it.

Because your podcast now is is private.

It's on Patreon, so it's behind a paywall, which there is like a level when you're re-entering the world.

You inspired me to do that.

I'm telling you.

It's a great platform.

The way that you've handled what you've gone through was,

I'm sorry that you've gone through it.

But at least it helped give...

Some of the rest of us insights.

So that's why I do what I do, honestly, to inspire others.

But I think a lot of people, like the number one question I got for you was like, when is your return to podcasting and your return to reality TV?

So you do plan to return to standard podcast format?

100%.

At some point.

Yes.

I have been waiting.

This is, like I said,

I've wanted to kind of just remain silent and chill until this book comes out.

Because it's important.

And then what about reality TV?

Ever?

I don't know.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Because it's so funny because I have...

literally family members calling me being like, so you're going back to Vanner Pump world and seeing all these articles.

I'm like, not that I'm aware of.

That's not,

I

loved reality TV while I was on it.

And

I always said, like, I would have done this for the rest of my life.

I didn't know any different than that life.

And then I, and even in the book, I say that because I wrote it when I was pregnant and in the first few months that Hartford was born.

But now that I know my daughter, now that she's a toddler, she's not just like this blob.

I bet you even when she was a newborn, I'd be like, yeah, I'd go back to reality TV.

Right.

but now that like i she has a personality like she is a human being i don't know that i would go back to reality tv unless i was um in charge of editing right uh and what goes out about her and um i just yeah like i like i have i have respect for for so many people who do put their families on reality tv it's really hard it's really tough it's very fucking hard um it's not for me unless I am like a Kardashian that has

unless I have like a final say in

who's editing my daughter.

I just can't have some random editor I've never met just like going through footage and being like, here, where Hartford's crying and throwing a temper tantrum.

That's just not the point.

I think that's very reasonable.

But you are, it's so weird because you're not on the show, but you're still very much a part of the...

the group.

It's yes.

And it's weird when people like come up to me and are like, I love Vanner Pump Rules.

I'm like, I'm not on it.

Yeah, but

a core part of the history.

And I think a part of the reason why it was so successful, like when you backhanded Kristen in that bar, like, oh my God,

iconic.

Violence is not the answer.

No, it's not, but like on TV, sometimes it is.

So you're still very much a part of the group.

The group is still very much making waves.

And honestly, the show is at this weird place where like the show itself is kind of irrelevant, but the castmates are not.

Like, and I want to get your take because so much has happened off camera.

More has happened in the last couple months with the Vanner Pump Rules crew than the entire last season.

So just rattle off your thoughts.

Okay,

And not thoughts.

I need your opinion exactly on what happened between the Rares of Rumor that Tom Schwartz and Rocket.

That did not happen.

And I was listening to your podcast this morning with your husband, and I'm like, that did not happen.

But if it did, what would Katie's reaction be?

I honestly don't know.

Because it's so weird.

They're in such a good place, Schwartz and Katie.

Like, what I've been saying when people are like, how is she?

Right.

I'm like, they are divorce couple goals.

Yeah.

Like, they are handling this so well.

Like if, God forbid, no, I wouldn't handle it.

No.

If Bo divorce me, I'll burn it to the ground.

That's, no.

Yeah, it wouldn't be like that.

Okay, Lalan Randall.

Like, did you know what is the, what,

what is that?

Just give me the whole spiel.

Well, no, no one knew anything.

We found out on Dumois.

Not on Dumois,

but.

Like a fan account?

A fan account or something.

So everyone was finding out at the same time.

And so obviously, no we me and bo cut randall off you did right when that time

in in it because it wasn't just like a cheating thing it was it's way darker beyond and i i don't and i can't really speak on it because you know lala and has ocean and they're they're going through it but yeah no you went china's baby's birthday no but

the in all fairness okay i drove an hour outside of town to get to it because Bo and I thought it was Saturday.

So I had planned.

Oh my God, you're kidding.

I had planned all of my, like, my manicure, my spray tan, like, packing for this book tour on Sunday around

Summer's birthday party.

Oh, my God, that is the most annoying thing.

I couldn't do anything.

And then I was literally almost there when all of a sudden, like, my blood ran cold.

And I was like, why hasn't anybody texted me today and been like, what time are you going?

I've been there.

I've been there.

What time are you going?

Normally, that's how the texts go.

And I just was like quietly just like looking on my phone for the invitation.

And And I'm like, Bo.

And Hartford was screaming the whole entire car ride.

And I'm like, Bo,

um,

it's tomorrow.

Oh, and that was Saturday, it was bleak.

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Yeah, I'm sure, like, Bo wanted to kill you.

Oh my God, that is so funny.

And there was a lot of like, people thought there was like tea there, but there's not.

You just missed partying.

It's not tea there.

You just missed Marty.

Yeah.

And the last thing I want to talk to you about

before you're officially out of my hot seat is you being a COVID bride.

Yes.

Very difficult group to be in.

I've been through worse.

Well, that's 100% true.

But you are married.

Yes.

Legally.

Legally married.

It was really important for Bo before I had birth to get married.

And so I wanted to respect that.

Stand the traditional career.

There you go.

And so we got married.

We actually had a

twofer.

So Katie threw my baby shower.

Oh, wow.

And the tailors were in town.

And so I'm like, well, if we're going to get married, the tailors have to be there.

So why don't we just do it at my baby shower because it's so cute actually or tacky no no I mean it depends

for sure but around baby shit everywhere no you're it's budget friendly you had just lost your job like you could only afford one party it's fine

but you are getting married like relatively soon yeah like the big thing in Italy is Rome and yes because you went to I went to a wedding there yes beautiful venue really stunning thank you it's gonna be stunning um I got locked into that venue because um yeah my wedding was supposed to be on Vanner Pump Rules.

And so when we went wedding scouting, we had a producer come with us.

And wherever we chose, we had to sign off on

all of that.

And once COVID rolled around, they did not let me out of it.

So Bo and I were like, okay, so do we just eat that money

or do we just try and reimagine what this wedding will be?

Off camera.

Off camera, cut the guest list to like three people.

Right.

And that's what we're doing pretty much.

And so when your wedding was going to be on Vanderprump Rules, I think I know the answer to this question, but does production pay for anything?

Not $1.

This is what they pay for.

An extra day.

So they paid for the, like, instead of just getting the venue the day of the wedding, they pay for the day before so they can set up...

lighting and production and all of that.

So like, no, nothing that has to do with my, nothing for me.

And how many people were going to be at your wedding when you were filming it?

A little over like 100, like 120.

And now?

Now it's like 35.

And Taylor Strecker is marrying you.

Yes.

Which is literally the most iconic thing ever.

She's such a queen.

I'm so excited.

And honestly, even though I think like you really were stellar on the show, but you went through a weird period where you like moved to New York and you thought you were better than everyone.

I know.

But and that was like not the best thing for you.

But Taylor Strecker came out of that, right?

You met that when you were, you met her when you were here.

Yes.

So when I think about like all of those, then that was like the most miserable time

ever.

I literally lived in like a like 250 square apartment with my ex-boyfriend

who was really mean to me and wouldn't talk to me for like days at a time.

So I would either call Taylor or I would go to the Mexican restaurant across the street

and call my mom or my friends and be like, What am I doing?

And I'm such a prideful person that I was like, well, I can't move back now.

Like I already made, I made this decision.

I made this so public and look at me.

I'm here that I was like, I'm going to ride this so hard.

Mistake.

But Taylor, who is a blessing, is my school sister, like my best friend.

Like that, that makes it all worth it.

See, really, everything happens for a reason.

Yeah.

That was just like so funny.

No, it wasn't.

No, like,

as a viewer, it was like, what is this which doing?

Like, things couldn't be going better for you.

Like, you're like the queen bee.

Like, get back here.

I know.

And then I dress, like, everyone said that I dressed like you were dressing weird.

Yeah, I know.

What do they say?

Like,

like the Secretary of State's wife, like a senator's wife or something.

And I'm like, I look back, I'm like, that is so accurate.

Yeah, but it was just emblematic of that time in your life.

I don't think that's bad.

Oh, my God.

It was iconic, too.

It was fucking hilarious.

I was not thriving.

No, not thriving, but you're back out now.

New book, everyone.

Off with my head.

And Stasi's going to join me for the fast five because you are a pop culture girl.

Oh, yes, I am.

What are you into?

Well, we were talking about before how, like, you don't watch Bravo anymore, obviously.

No, I mean, I watched Vanderpump Rules to support my friends that are still on it.

But I haven't.

And also, once you have a baby, you gotta, you don't have time

to sit and like watch like all the TV in the world.

So, like, I have to really love what I'm watching, and I feel like I can't just watch like mindless shit anymore if it's not like inspiring me in some way.

I hate myself for that.

No, I agree.

I agree.

But, like, I just, yeah.

Um, and are you a Kardashian Stan?

It's like important before we move forward.

I need to know.

100%.

Okay.

I love the Kardashian.

Me too.

Which Kardashian do you think you relate to most?

Okay, so like it changes.

Of course.

It changes all the time.

I used to think Chloe,

and then I went through a phase where I was like, I'm so Courtney.

Courtney is it.

But like Kim is just like...

She's it.

She's my inspo right now.

100%.

I used to be like a Chloe girly too.

And I still am a Chloe.

100%.

Chloe is the best.

They're all, it's like, I hate choosing a favorite because I love them all.

It's like choosing a favorite child.

Yeah.

I feel like I'd have an easier time doing that if I had more.

Who do you think

is?

I actually think I might have an easier time choosing my favorite child.

I feel like you're right.

100%.

Okay, so Sassy's going to drop me for the fast size stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

And today's episode is brought to you by Pear Eyewear.

Change up your look in a snap.

Pear Eyewear's base frame and magnetic top frame combination make it super easy to switch up your style.

The base frames start at just $60, including prescription lenses.

There are hundreds of top frame designs to choose from, and you can match whichever base frame that you want.

There also have the Pear for a Pear program.

So every pair purchased, Pear will provide glasses and vision care for children around the world, which is just wonderful.

You can get glasses as unique as you are.

One pair, infinite style, starting at just $60.

Go to peariwear.com.

That's P-A-I-R-E-Y-E-W-E-A-R dot com slash toast for 15% off your first purchase.

That's 15% off at P-A-I-R-I-Wear.com slash toast.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Liquid IV.

When you push your body too hard or you just feel run down, it's extremely important to stay hydrated.

And Liquid IV's one stick hydration multiplier into 16 ounces of water will hydrate you two times faster and more efficiently than water alone.

Liquid IV's hydration comes in refreshing flavors like watermelon, lemon lime, strawberry, piña colada, and more.

One stick of liquid IV in 16 ounces of water hydrates you faster and more efficiently than water alone.

So if you struggle to drink water because it doesn't taste that good, I agree and you should try Liquid IV.

They have five essential vitamins, B3, B5, B6, B12, and vitamin C.

They also have three times the electrolytes of traditional sports drinks, and it's made with premium ingredients that are non-GMO, free of gluten, dairy, and soy.

So grab liquid IV in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 25% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use the code toast to check out.

That's 25% off anything you order when you use promo code toast at liquid.com.

Experience better hydration today.

Liquid IV.com.

That promo code is toast for 25% off anything you order.

All right, Sasse.

Wait,

can I just say?

Please.

I drink liquid IV all day.

I have it with me.

literally, I am a liquid IV fan.

Freak, I, it is, it's, it's everything.

And a hangover.

Well, I don't get hangovers because I drink so much liquid IV.

100%.

All right, let's dive into the fast five.

I, the first story is like not really breaking news, but I wanted to get your take on it because you have met Lisa Vanner Pump several times.

She's online beefing with Erica Jane.

Right now.

Yeah, currently, because Erica, did you see that Erica threw out Garcell's book?

Yes.

Okay.

I did see that.

So then Lisa Vanner Pump.

Which is like sad.

Don't throw out a book.

Cyclic girl.

Like the earth.

Just like give it to someone.

The earth.

Like, it would have been way more interesting to just be like passing this along.

Yep.

Yeah.

No.

They just could have gone to a better home.

Yeah, agreed.

So Lisa was asked about it and Lisa responded, I thought that was pretty mean, honestly.

Maybe Erica didn't understand it.

Maybe Garcelle should have sent her a scratch and sniff book or something.

So she was being shady.

So Erica got shady back and basically said, Lisa Vanderpump's mouth reeks of garlic, cigarettes, and Chardonnay.

So I thought that was kind of interesting because I kind of do see that for Lisa Van der Pump.

No, well, she doesn't drink Chardonnay.

Oh, that's true.

She's a rose girly.

Yeah.

So

already, already.

She's off.

That's off.

But Lisa Van der Pump does smoke cigarettes.

I rarely, like rarely, rarely.

So she doesn't smell.

No, she doesn't smell.

We saw her in Dubai on Real House's Beverly Hills getting angry and having a cigarette with Ken.

And it was like seeing, you know, like a teacher out of school.

And it was just

crazy.

Yeah, totally.

Have you seen Lisa Vanerpump smoke a cigarette?

In the past, yeah.

Back when I was smoking cigarettes in 2012.

Well, that was another question.

Cigarettes are like a main character on Vanner Pump Rules, which is just so weird.

Like, you know, why don't you guys just like vape?

Okay, are they still a main character?

Well, with some of the guys, yes.

Not so much since everyone has had kids.

Okay.

But like up until recently, like the cigarettes were literally...

Like the plot.

No, I start like,

I'm gonna,

this is gonna turn orange.

The spray tan is gonna start sweating into this vest.

When I think back on like the first first like two seasons of Vanderpump Rules, like it's literally just chain smoking.

I'm like, what the f?

I can't believe that was what?

It is.

Yeah, no.

It's embarrassing.

It's so crazy.

Like, it's just cigarette.

It's just vintage.

Maybe it's going to look like cool and like, you know, James Deany someday.

Like how we look back at like Lindsey Lohan's like heroin cheek era.

Oh my gosh, yeah.

That's going to be you guys.

It's such a throwback.

I agree.

It's like so random.

Like get a jewel like everyone else.

In all fairness, there were no jewels in 2012.

That's true.

The show has been on for so long.

Yeah, it's been an eternity.

So what does the Savannah Prumps breath smell like?

That's what I wanted to ask you.

Well, I haven't got close enough to smell it that there's that.

Do you smell people's breath?

Okay, so I happen to have like a nose like a hound and I'm very breath conscious.

Like I'm really like ask Ben.

I'm always like your breath, your breath, your breath.

Because like there's two different types of breath, let's be honest.

Breath that smells like food, which really doesn't bother me unless you're eating something like really smelly.

But if you're just like tasting like your tacos, like that doesn't bother me because, you know, it's food.

But then it's like breath that's like

I can't really explain it, like it's like the smell of your insides, but that's not people can't help that.

That's like called halitosis.

No, no, there is, there is halitosis for sure, but then there's also just poor dental hygiene.

Okay, and I think the latter is inexcusable.

No!

I like I at all times, I have like Listerine strips, gum, mint.

I'm so breath conscious.

And I just wish more people were like that.

I get it, but like I have like, I have a soft spot in my heart for people that have that problem because I don't know.

I feel like it's like a digestive thing in your stomach.

And I'm not talking about those people.

I agree.

Like there are medical issues and that is totally not your fault.

I'm not talking about that.

Okay, if you don't have halitosis and your breath smells like you're inside.

That's unfair.

That's unfair to us.

And you know what?

That's kind of like what I miss about wearing a mask.

Like I didn't have to smell anyone's breath but my own, which wasn't pleasant.

I'm not going to lie.

Smelling your own breath, no matter how good it is.

It's like...

Or you know what was the worst?

It's like when you wore the same mask for so long and then you had your sweat.

And when you put it on, then like, you're like, does my breath smell like this?

Holy shit.

I'm one of those people.

Well, you know what?

Do you still have a relationship with Lisa Vanderbrump?

We're friendly when we see each other, but it's not anything really more than that.

Now, I don't know what I did to you, but I'll take a Pinot Grigio.

Sorry, I've been wanting to say that for like an hour.

Why?

I hate it.

Like every,

I don't, I remember the exact moment that I said it and a producer came out after the scene and was like, that's why we needed you back.

This was after New York.

Right, right, right.

And I'm like, for what?

And they're like, the Pino Grigio that was hysterical.

I'm like, no, it wasn't.

I genuinely needed a Pino Grigio and she was my server.

Right.

And I had no idea.

I can't see the humor in it.

I'm like, I'm too in it that I can't see how it's funny.

It's so funny.

And it was just like so mean.

Like, I don't know what I did to you, but I'll take a Pino Grigio.

Like, it was just so funny because Sheena was just kind of standing there, like, useless.

And she's like staring at you.

So you're like, well, I don't know what you want, but I'll take a pin agree.

It was.

You know, I need to start.

I need to start embracing this.

I need to receive it.

I need to own it.

I need to just like find the joy in it.

What's the one line people like quote to you the most?

Is that

that one?

Or I am the devil and don't you forget it, which I'm very into.

I'm proud of that for you.

You're such a like true crime girly, right?

I have always been a true crime girly until it became so popular that it was everywhere.

That it became too girl.

That now, but I don't, I wonder if that's why.

Like, am I just trying to be a contrarian or did I just like, did, did I, did I, did I

throw out of it?

Like, do you consider yourself choogie?

Yeah, I think so.

I think you're choogy, but like in a really chic way.

That's so nice.

Yeah.

Because there's something glorious about being chugged because you're living.

You don't care what people think.

You just like the things that make you happy.

Totally.

It's like so easy.

But like, if I could be chic while being choogie, I'm here for it.

I mean, like, you're wearing a vest.

Like, that is not chuggy at all.

It's from Zara.

It's like a tuxedo vest.

Like, do you want to see me wear that?

Like, I could never.

So you are chuggy, but like with a spin, like with a really, with your own unique flair.

I love this.

Yeah.

Can we change my Instagram bio to this right now?

Chuggy with a flair.

Chugy with chic.

Chic chugi.

Like, that is totally you.

So you can confirm 100% her breath doesn't smell like cigarettes, chardonnay.

I totally can confirm that.

I don't really believe you because I feel like I could.

She doesn't drink Chardonnay.

I just could see.

She only has cigarettes like on rare nights when she's like being attacked and doing it.

Out, out, out.

Like, you know what I don't want to be like, have you smoked a cigarette with Lisa Vannerbaum?

Back in the day, yes.

Iconic.

Okay, well, in other groundbreaking news, Kim Kardashian has joined TikTok with her own solo account.

After, of course, we know she made her debut with Northwest.

And then she made her own account a while ago, but never posted.

And yesterday, she posted.

And she posted, you know, of course, with Chris Appleton and Mario, like doing glam, just having fun, being girly girls in the jet.

On the jet?

On the jet.

Because she was on her way.

She was wearing this blue sequin gown, which she wore to the Kennedy Center on her day with B.

Davidson.

So I, you know, I inferred that on the jet, they were either on their way or leaving the Kennedy Center because she was wearing that blue scoop neck dress, which was a very, um, very mature dress.

I'm not sure it was my favorite.

I was giving like Mother of the Bride, but she's on TikTok.

And I, as like, I'm the resident TikTok correspondent.

I'm sitting here.

I know that you are very into TikTok.

So I follow you on TikTok.

Do you follow me back?

Probably.

I don't think so.

This is the the thing about TikToks.

The people you follow, it's like following doesn't matter.

Like the people that I follow, I end up not seeing anymore.

The notifications are not filtered at all.

So I stop.

I'm like, I shouldn't follow people anymore because then I'm never going to see their videos.

Also, the TikTok journey that I'm on is

like...

old vintage castles in Scotland.

Oh, is that like?

Like travel back in time with me to what it would be like as a peasant in the 1600s.

Oh, I get me.

Like,

that's my journey.

I get, like, here's a little brown pill you put in your belly button, and you'll literally lose 100 pounds.

That's what I get.

It's, and like, honestly, I'm getting dangerously close to purchasing.

In your belly button?

Yeah.

And like, all the way down.

How does it hold it in?

And like, you put like no sense.

You put the pill in your bed.

That is a lie and a scam.

That is not real.

Don't do it.

You put this brown, it looks like a piece of dog gibble in your belly button and then you slap a band-aid over it.

No.

And overnight, you lose 100 pounds.

I need to see this TikTok actually.

I'll send it to you.

I need to see this TikTok.

I'll send it to you.

And then there's all these doctors reacting, basically, being like, Do not do this.

But I don't know.

I'm not convinced.

That's what I get.

Do you post on TikTok a lot?

Not as much as I, you know, in my brain, I'm always like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be a TikTok girly.

I'm gonna do this.

And I'm gonna post multiple times a day because I guess that's what gets you like, you know, up there on TikTok.

But TikTok is so hard.

Full-time job.

Like creating TikToks are so hard.

I have so much fucking respect for everybody that doesn't have a movie editor.

I don't understand.

But also at the same time, I wrestle with it because I'm like, the thing I love about TikTok is that I don't see celebrities and or well-known people.

It's like, again, it's like, here's an Anglo-Saxon home.

And this is where they would make their bread.

Yeah.

Like, I, do people want to see my TikToks?

I'm not sure.

I like maybe it's not, maybe like I just want to be a spectator.

A lurker is also great.

I spend like, you know, a couple weeks ago, you do the screen time thing, like where you could see how much screen time you spend on.

That's against my will.

Like, it tells me on my phone and I ignore it.

It's so annoying.

So a couple weeks ago, collectively in one week, I spent 24 hours on TikTok.

So like a whole day.

Yeah.

Oh my.

Yeah, I'm really mentally ill, honestly.

Like, it's an illness.

It really is.

I need to get off.

And, you know, what is your philosophy on having your children on social media?

Because you've really seen the dark side of it.

Yes.

Are you going to be like a helicopter mom?

Well, I mean, if you see, if you follow me on Instagram, you would see that

I post my daughter a lot.

No, but I mean when she grows up.

Yeah, so this is not now that it's kind of like with the reality show thing.

At first when she was born, like I had like two weeks where I was like, I'm never posting her.

She's mine.

Like, oh my gosh.

And then I was like, oh my God, but this is the

most important thing that's ever happened to me, the thing that I love the most.

How can I not share this?

Bucket, I'm going to share it.

I've embraced it.

And then now that she's a toddler, now I'm like...

She's recognizable.

Yes.

And people, just the other day, someone came up and asked for a picture with Hartford.

Not with me.

That's weird.

And I'm like, no, my baby's not taking photos with people.

And now I'm like, do I back off posting her?

Or is it harmless?

Because is this just 2022 where people do post everything?

Like, I really see both sides to it, and I can't fucking decide how I feel.

You'll figure it out.

At some point.

At some point.

But I, I, I think more people should think about the other side.

Like I think a lot of people, especially a lot of people that I follow are like really out there with their kids and that just like freaks me out.

I don't know.

I don't.

But see, we're going in the direction that like where like everyone's doing it.

I know.

So like

will it be weird if she grows up and she isn't on it.

Will then she be like, you know what I mean?

I know.

I think she's like a freak, the class freak.

I don't know.

No, totally.

I think I'm gonna go to the next one.

I'm gonna.

See, that's the thing.

I'm like, I'm gonna fuck her up in some way,

regardless of what decision I make.

And that is so much pressure.

Oh my god, 100%.

I could never.

All right, moving on.

Happy for Kim Kardashian.

Welcome to TikTok.

Follow me back.

Next up, we've got a little selling sunset news, and I just really wanted an excuse to talk about the worst show on television.

But Jason, is this the worst show on television?

So I've never seen it.

I thought it was so popular.

It's so popular, but like, if you have

a brain cell, like it's so dumb.

It's literally dumb.

Like I just can't use a different word other than moronic, but people are like quaking because this season started out, you know, Chris was dating the boss.

Yes.

I see all this on social media on the Daily Mail.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But so now like, and I'm only like two or three episodes into the fifth season and it's really atrocious.

Like it's really, really bad.

But did you like it in the beginning?

Yes, in the beginning.

And then.

Isn't all real?

All reality shows are like that.

They're golden in the beginning because it's so much more real.

And like everyone, no one knows what the fuck they're doing.

And nobody has anything to lose.

No one has anything to lose.

No one has any brands.

And then as like the years go by, everyone's too scared to just be themselves.

And that's when things get a little stale.

But so why people are quaking is like, so Chris and Jason dated for six months.

And then he dropped on her that he didn't want kids.

And so now he's getting like a lot of shit for wasting a woman's time.

Like, I actually think like the meanest thing a man can do is waste like a woman's, you know, fertile good years.

Right.

So he's getting a lot of shit for like being six months into a relationship and then telling her she didn't want kids.

He didn't want kids.

Okay.

Um,

did she ask him before those six months?

Like, if she didn't ask, that's her own fault.

We're all responsible for ourselves.

Yeah.

Like, personal accountability is so important.

So, like, there needs to be context before we go like hating this random dude.

But just watching them, like, it's so painful.

And the reason why I really don't like the show is because, like, the villain is Christine.

Okay, so I did see that she tweeted

like

enjoy all the fake storylines and I'm like

oh No, I'm like that is like the number one thing on when you're on a reality show Don't do because you're literally just shooting yourself in the foot and you're gonna cancel your own show It's you're literally you're gonna cancel your own fucking paycheck by tweeting that but having said that like am I on Team Christine?

Absolutely.

So watching the show is like infuriating because it's all the women against Christine and like Christine is not I don't have a reason as to why I'm Team Christine.

It's just like all these other girls are like losers getting together, like laughing.

All they do is talk about Christine all the time.

Like, someone could have just given birth, and they're like, Oh my god, did you hear what Christine did?

It's like Christine, Christine, Christine.

It's so lame.

So it's just like, you know, you guys are acting like loser energy.

I'm going to be on Team Christine.

I don't have a good reason.

I just am because she's like cooler than you.

She is.

So watching a show where like the one person you like is so universally hated, it's frustrating.

Okay, I get that.

Wish I'd seen it.

Wish I wish I had it.

No, honestly, like you said, like being a mom, you really cannot like spend time watching things that don't serve you.

Selling sunset serves nothing.

There is no purpose.

Like, do not waste your time.

I'm being dead serious.

I'm just being honest.

Okay.

I also

think on reality shows too, this is like a theme that happens where all the girls band together and dislike.

One person.

One person.

And it's always interesting how that happens because sometimes, and for the most part, it's based in something that's off-camera that they can't talk about.

So true.

And so then all the women that are friends look like fucking assholes because they're sitting around hating on this person.

But the truth is they can't talk about the actual thing that is the reason why they don't like Christine Quinn.

So I wonder if it's the same sort of situation.

Reality show is so fucked up.

Right, but also I think a lot of it is just like

when you meet someone, like you're not always going to vibe with them.

And there are people who you meet who are like, there's just something weird about them.

Like you can't put into words, but like they're just not your vibe.

Like there's something intangible about like what's off with them.

And in a reality show, that just comes off as you disliking someone for no reason.

Correct.

And you're not going to like everyone.

Exactly.

Which makes things complicated because everybody likes to pit everyone against each other.

And you're either team this or team that.

Right.

You can like everyone and not have to pick a team just because somebody doesn't like.

It's a it's not a way to live when you really think about it.

Were you on the amazing race?

Fuck off.

You were, yeah, with black hair.

Yeah.

Tell me about that because honestly, they asked me in Jacket Audition for it once and I was like, I would literally.

You should totally do it.

I'd rather die like running around.

But it is like

a real-life adventure.

Yeah, you do.

You have to fly coach.

You also have to sleep in ten.

And like just stand by at the airport.

Like, no,

I print my travel documents.

I get to the airport early.

I have a glass of wine.

It's just not for me.

Yeah, no.

I would never do it now.

No, right, of course.

But yeah, I don't have what it takes at all to do it now.

I was 16 and they did a family addition.

And I blame my dad because I was a minor.

So like I had no control over the situation.

And did you like come close to winning?

Not at all.

No, we actually lost in New Orleans, like five minutes away from my house.

Like,

so there's that.

It was hilarious.

It's so depressing.

Oh my God.

Also, that just sounds like the word.

There are a lot of reality shows I imagine.

Like, I could do, I couldn't do.

I don't think I could ever do Amazing Race.

I think I could do maybe like Big Brother because you just have to land bed off.

Fuck that.

You just lay down.

That is actually, I would rather do Amazing Race 365 days straight than I, the thought of having cameras on me 24-7.

24-7.

except in the bathroom is like that is next level I can't I went I did when we went to summer house oh I wanted to ask you about that a couple times I put it in our contract I was like cameras in our room go off at 10 p.m.

They go back on at 10 a.m.

I'm not on the show.

You don't need that from me.

Like I, my mental health will start to fully deteriorate and spiral.

I cannot handle that sort of pressure.

Like I need my like alone time to recharge.

100%.

So scroll TikTok.

Paige was just here and she was saying like Craig also hates it.

Like he will never come on full time because it's so disarming.

It just truly is.

And then it's like you're having sex.

I'm seeing two people having sex.

I'm like, this is like porn.

I would never, no, I can barely make out with my husband in front of like a friend.

It's so,

I don't do that.

I can't imagine just no, it wouldn't happen.

We wouldn't have sex for months if that was the case.

Oh, I wanted to tell you something, a message for Bo.

I know that

if it's negative against the Rams.

No, it's not.

It's not.

You know, fuck the Rams.

No, I'm totally kidding.

Kelly Stafford follows me on Instagram.

I take back everything I said.

I know that he purchased me a hat and gave it to Taylor's Trekker.

And Taylor sent it back.

I want to blow up Taylor's spot and let you know I never got the hat.

No, I know, because Taylor sent it back.

What does that mean?

I don't know.

It was so weird.

Like, this, but then.

She came and she was like, oh my God, I forgot it at my house.

What an asshole.

And like, she just, you know what?

I think she's trying to like keep me and Beau apart, like, for real.

That's the vibe I'm getting.

All right, I have two more stories for you that are brought to you by Modern Fertility.

We're all supposed to go to the OBGYN once a year for our annual checkups, but checking in with our fertility isn't usually a thing we're ready for until we have kids.

And knowledge is power, so you got to know more, and that's why Modern Fertility was created.

It's easy and affordable.

It's a great way to test your fertility hormones at home with a simple fingerprint.

You'll mail it in with a prepaid label, and you'll get your personalized results within 10 days.

Get insights into your hormone levels, your ovarian reserve, aka how many eggs you have compared to other women your age, and you can get a ton of other important fertility factors.

The results will go deep into what every hormone means, and you can talk one-on-one with a fertility nurse to review your results and your options for next steps.

Traditional testing at the doctor can cost over $1,000, but Modern Fertility gets you the same information at $159, which is a fraction of the price.

And if you go to modernfertility.com slash toast, you can get $20 off your test.

If you want kids today or maybe one day in the future, clinically sound information about your body can help you make the decision that's right for you.

Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to modernfertility.com slash toast.

So that means your test will cost $139 instead of the hundreds of thousands it could cost at a doctor's office.

So get that $20 off the fertility test when you go to modernfertility.com slash toast.

That's modernfertility.com slash toast.

Speaking of vaginas, Leah Michelle, Leah Michelle was so close to Jonathan Groff in Spring Awakening that she showed him her whole vagina.

So she is, you know, oversharing.

Happy for her.

So they're doing Spring Awakening.

These two met.

Jonathan Groff is from Glee.

I know him, but he's also the voice of Now That Your Mom.

He's the voice of,

you know, I'm not which.

Ice, the guy with the ice and let it go.

I mean, in Frozen.

Oh, whoa.

Sven.

No, that's the horse.

Who's Sven's?

Are we talking about?

Are we talking?

Christoph.

Oh, he's Christoph.

I think he also might be Sven, too.

Like, I think he's all of the voices.

The horse?

The donkey.

The donkey?

Yeah.

What is he?

He's like an ice reindeer.

No, yeah, no.

I watch Frozen twice a day.

So they are are best friends and they met like years ago doing Broadway Spring Awakening.

And now, Spring Awakening is like coming to HBO Max.

So, like, they're doing press and being annoying together.

And she shared something like, I just feel like I could have.

I saw this on

Plane yesterday because I was like, what is Claudia going to ask me about the fast five?

I need to be like all up on my shit.

And I'm like, wow, it's a slow news weekend.

There's literally nothing.

This week has been dreadful.

Yeah, I don't lie.

But so here's what she said.

Jonathan and I became so close.

We were intertwined.

But Is that it?

No,

they're really just being lengthy in this article.

Where does she say?

Oh, here.

Sorry, I'm starting again.

Jonathan Groff said, Leah and I were given this material where we had to fall in love.

But the first thing I felt was that they're going to know I'm gay.

Fuck.

I never had sex with a girl.

I'm in the closet.

So I'm just going to pretend that I know what I'm doing.

I wanted the choreography to tell me what to do and give me the moves to allow me to express myself.

And thank God for director Michael Mayer.

And then Leah Michelle said, at one point, I literally showed him my whole vagina.

And Jonathan says, I can confirm that.

Any more details?

Or is that?

No, that's pretty much it.

Just like so unique.

I need to know, was it just like pulling my pants down, or was it like stirrups?

Let's do this.

You know, like, it's so crazy because I feel like most women like have never even looked at their vaginas.

Like, I don't like to do it.

No, but like, Jonathan Groff, a gay man, has probably seen more of Leah Michelle's vagina than most women have seen of their own vaginas.

This is true.

If she did, like, lay on a table and spread them.

But I don't see the point in that and what that helped with a sex scene.

I literally, that sounds like just like shock.

That's so Liam Michelle.

She's...

Oh, have you been watching The Girl from Plainville?

Yes.

I'm two episodes.

behind.

Like I have two left.

Okay.

Don't you think the glee thing is so weird?

I love it because I love this ref, I love this specific reference.

I know.

And I could really see how like, you know, a very

impressionable, you know, um, unbalanced young girl can watch that show and like want the attention of having your fiancé die.

Like it's so twisted, but I was living for the

musical numbers.

Oh no, totally.

I'm very into it.

Yes.

So good.

But back to Lee Michelle.

She showed Jonathan Groff her vagina and I

now I just feel like she should show us all of her vagina so we can really kind of relate to it.

Are you a Lee Michelle fan?

I feel very conflicted because like if you knew the amount of influence glee like has and continue had and continues to have on my life, I'm such a gleek.

I've seen the show one million times and I really identify with Rachel Berry, like being vocally gifted.

We have that in common and also just like, you know, being really like annoying.

I actually really relate to the character because like we're both really annoying and like we're not everyone's cup of tea.

And I just I love the show and I love the songs and I love the singing.

But Leah Michelle,

you know, in real life, I don't know if I would like her that much.

Have you met her?

Yes, she came on the podcast, and I have to say she was absolutely lovely.

Absolutely lovely.

But it doesn't discount what other people, you know, their experience.

Yeah, I've always been curious.

I just think she's so talented.

Beyond.

Beyond talented.

But then you read these things.

But also, it's like...

You know what?

Let's just, she's talented.

I know.

Let's like her for

what her job is.

She's not out here trying to be like miss like.

Do you know about the conspiracy theory that she can't read?

Do you know about it?

Yeah, it's like really big.

Um, and I actually asked her about it on the podcast, and she was like really upset about it because she was like, Wait, like, genuinely upset?

Somebody definitely can't read.

Yeah, no, like, like, if you get upset over that accusation, you can't read.

And now, I am going to be thinking about this for the next seven days of my life.

And what's so weird is, like, we met her in like this apartment building.

Like, we came to her, she didn't come to us.

Um, and she like had- she couldn't read Street Signs

Because she like had this room reserved for us and it was like this room in her building that was actually a library.

And I just thought that was really interesting and kind of

the share.

Do you think she can read?

So this girl, this podcast, and I don't remember the name of the podcast and I apologize, but these two podcasters like put together this PowerPoint on like why they think she's illiterate.

Like over the years, they've seen all these things and they just think like her and Ryan Murphy are working together that he reads reads her the scripts and she memorizes the lines and she doesn't read her own scripts.

And like they have all this footage, videos, her at signings over the years of them really putting together all this proof that they think that she doesn't know how to read.

And it was like kind of a joke, but also dead fucking serious.

And it blew up.

I'm so shook, right?

It blew up.

I'll find it and send it to you.

And it got back to Leah Michelle.

And Andy actually asked her on Watch Rappens Live.

And she was like, not thinking it was funny at all.

She was like,

no, like, I've seen it.

And like, it's like so stupid.

Like, me and Ryan, Ryan Murphy, she was like, very defensive.

Me and Ryan Murphy, like, working together, like, why would we ever like,

no, yeah, it's like, girl, it's a joke, and you being so defensive, it's like, oh, you actually don't know how to read.

Oh, does that mean she's not funny in real life?

She was, I have to say, she was wonderful on the podcast.

And, you know, a lot of people, I will say, like, who you meet who got famous for one thing, they, they always hate the thing that made them famous, you know?

Yeah, sometimes I resent the shit out of Vanner Pumpkin.

Of course.

And for me, like, when you're so deeply impacted by a show, like, Glee, really, I was raised on Glee.

I feel very deeply connected to it she was incredibly kind about it she wasn't being lame she was giving me like all the gossip on glee like she was so happy to talk about it and like indulge me in my fandom so that was very kind of her because i think a lot of people wouldn't do that like a lot of people just like hate the thing that launched them you know yeah it's because people are scared that that's gonna be the only thing they can ever do a hundred percent um okay so moral the story of the michelle camera yeah she showed her vagina and like i have nothing to say because i don't know like why she would do that i don't need it sounds just like i need to promote something right now.

So and we're talking about it's Spring Awakening on HBY.

Why did I not think to do this over my book?

I should have showed somebody.

Somebody might have joined me.

Wait, I have something better.

Let's make some press.

What is the craziest thing, like the craziest, juiciest tidbit in the book?

Oh my God.

I have no...

The thing is, I don't know what other people find.

We find juicy like celebrity, like...

Okay, okay.

I can, okay.

I think...

Based on like what people are writing about right now, I think the juiciest part, first of all, you didn't read it to prepare for this fucking interview.

Bitch, I literally walked in today and my book was sitting on the counter.

It just arrived.

Where's my early copy?

I sent you a box.

It just got here today.

Look, it's right there.

Oh, shit.

So that's why I put it on this pedestal and I started reading it before you sat down.

You know, I like to read.

I would have read it before, but I didn't get an early copy.

Okay, I'll say this.

I will say this.

Before

we got fired and all that went down, Vanderpump Rules was supposed to transition into a new show called Val, that was going to be called Valley Rolling Valley or whatever.

Valley Rules or whatever.

And our wedding was going to be the start of that new show.

So it was going to be...

Because you guys live in Valley Village?

I mean, I don't.

You don't, but everyone else does.

But a lot of the people do.

And so they were going to slowly transition us and have like a and keep Vanner Pump Rules with a whole new cast of people who work at the restaurant.

Younger people, like fresh to sur.

Yeah.

And then so the rest of us would transition into this.

The way that like Vanderpump Rule started where it was like Real Housewives of Beverly and it transitioned into Vanderpump.

That's what we were gonna do with my wedding that that is juicy.

That, yeah.

So so that's not happening either.

Obviously.

Like half the cast got fired.

Oh my god, that is like such a juicy piece.

Thanks for sharing that.

Yeah, so if you buy my book, you can read it all about it.

Yeah, no, I started reading it.

It's very good.

It's very honest.

And I think it's a good combination of like you being extremely vulnerable, but also like giving the people what they want, like juicy tidbits behind the scenes.

Do you do you go through what it's like like hour to hour, minute to minute, like the day you got canceled?

I used to.

Yeah, I used to all the time, but like I quickly realized that you cannot live like that in order to survive.

I mean, in the book about getting the chapter on getting canceled, yes.

You give people a play-by-play.

I get full-blown play-by-play every single day what happened.

Like, I compare it to like the biblical like creation of Earth, except it was like the destruction,

the universe.

Right.

But it was like the destruction of my universe yeah so that it was all right fifth and final story we got the real housewise of new jersey um trailer and it's supposed to be like the craziest the craziest season yet i know but like it actually has been an amazing season and i really i know you don't watch real housewise of new jersey but i just wanted to bring it up and ask you about your interactions as a bravo leber with teresa judice

because she is just like positively dreadful awful the biggest hypocrite you've ever met in your life like really such a nasty woman and i've met her in person and she's actually quite lovely.

I've never met her.

Oh, you haven't?

No, I never have.

What is like, what does the Bravo Liberty Universe say about her?

The thing about the Bravo Liberty Universe is that we all want to talk about ourselves.

Yeah, that's true.

So true.

I've never met anyone that's like, let's talk about Teresa.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

You know, it's like everyone is just like so pumped up on their own ego and myself included.

I'm not taking myself out of that.

That it's like, this is what I'm doing.

This is what I'm doing.

There's no time to ask questions about other people.

Speaking of ego, are you friends with Tom Sandval still?

We were never close friends.

Like,

if I see him out someplace, can we sit and like have a conversation?

And it's like, good to see you.

Absolutely.

That's what it's like.

But we were never friendly.

But do you guys run into each other quite a lot, just given like the group?

Not that much.

I don't really go out.

My life is not the same as it used to be.

So the only reason that I ever do run into him is if it's like Tom Schwartz's birthday

or Katie's birthday or something like that.

But that's pretty much it.

Is Tom going to move out of the house or is Katie?

I think they're both going to.

Oh, they're going to sell the house?

I'm pretty sure that's the plan.

I also don't know if she wants me to speak on it.

Yeah, that's fair.

That's fair.

Do you find, like, this is what I always say to Taylor Streker?

Because, like, every time she comes on here, she has like had the worst job ever of like somehow.

She does.

I feel so bad for her.

Me too, because I know she gets a lot of shit shit for being my friend and I know she gets a lot of shit for being your friend too and she's always like the punching bag slash just representative I know for like her friend's drama I know and as a member of Vanderprimp Rolls do you feel that way a little bit too like anytime you do any sort of press and I know you haven't done press I haven't done any so this is my first one like oh shit after this I'm like I should probably think about whether people are gonna ask me about Jesus Breath Randall and Lala but like whenever any of them go on watch happens I've Andy asks like their opinion on every single cast member so that was my least favorite part of doing reality TV and when like conversations have arisen where people where people have been like, are you open to doing Vanner Pump again?

I'm like, I can't imagine going and doing an interview and being asked about Tom, James,

Macau,

every person, and like that being just the only thing that I have to offer.

Like I'm just, I can't do it.

No, that honestly sounds like the worst part.

Like I have my own problems.

Like I can barely speak for myself, let alone everyone else around me.

100%.

So the the book is out today.

It is Off With My Head.

You can get it everywhere, right?

Amazon, e-book, Barnes ⁇ Noble, indie bookstores.

Off with My Head, the definitive basic butch, basic butch.

Basic

basic bitch handbook to surviving rock bottom.

Stasi Schroeder, New York Times best-selling author.

We love to see.

Two New York Times best-selling authors just like sitting on couches.

It's chilling here.

Check out the new book.

It's juicy.

You guys are going to love it.

I'm already on page seven and I got it this morning, so that's pretty good.

I will be finishing it.

Enjoy, Stasi.

Thank you so much for being here.

Good luck with your book.

Good luck with motherhood.

Good luck with podcasting, with everything.

Thank you for being a toaster and thank you for coming on the show.

Thank you.

Thank you for having me and for supplying me with so much content,

so much podcast content every single day.

That's what we do.

Guys, thank you so much for listening to the Morning Toast, Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts and we're podcasts and we found out Spotify, Identity, Stitcher, Public Radio, II Radiac, Box, all places where you listen to podcasts, Viness, Morning Toast.

Leave a buck star view about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

Have an amazing day.

We'll see you tomorrow with

the Jackie Owen studio.

This is so good.