S5 Ep38: Diabolical, Radical Lady Whistledown: Wednesday, March 30th, 2022

Good morning, Millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Wednesday.

We're together on a hump day.

Hey, Claude, how are you doing?

I'm not gonna lie, I'm feeling hump-alicious.

I didn't realize that we were reunited on a Wednesday and I'm headed to the airport after this, but I might have to stop by your apartment to hump you.

To hump someone you love so dearly.

Don't forget to do that today, you guys.

Happy Wednesday.

I am thrilled, overjoyed to be back with my girl.

It's been fun.

It has has been fun, but it's not the same.

It's been a crazy week.

Obviously, you've had some amazing co-hosts.

You've had some amazing stomach virus.

Like since we were last together, which was last Monday, just so many things have happened.

Everyone has been thoroughly enjoying all of the different shows, myself included.

And I'm glad to be back because we have so much to talk about.

No, I mean, like, of course, we do the show for years and nothing interesting happens.

Then you go on maternity leave and Chris Rock gets slapped.

And it's just, it ain't right.

It ain't fair what the universe is doing to us.

But I'm glad you're here because people are quaking.

They need to hear your thoughts.

And honestly, I don't think you and I have even really spoken about it.

I would love to hear your thoughts as well.

Yeah, we have to speak about it.

Also, like every week we're doing a show on Monday.

And like this week we happened to do Wednesday and we missed like the Monday after the Oscars where the slap heard round the world happened.

And actually something that you just said reminded me of a quote from Pole Dark, if I may.

Sure.

Or forget, I forget the character's name, but it's like the kitchen maid's husband.

He's always saying, tisn right, tisn fair, tisn't decent, tisn't proper.

Tis not proper, that's for fucking sure.

I try to schedule you every Wednesday, but you know, these guests have schedules that I try to accommodate.

Of course.

So this week, Leah was available on the Monday.

And, you know, this episode actually works better for me to do a remote podcast-only episode because I'm headed to the airport right after this, heading to Austin and then Dallas and then Houston for two shows.

Texas girly.

I'm such a Texas girly.

Like, gotta get me a ranch water and a cowboy hat.

I just wanted to say all my shows in Texas are currently sold out except for the one I added in Houston.

So if you want to come see me and you weren't able to get tickets, come see me in Houston.

Girlwithnojob.com/slash tour.

That's the last time I'll talk about it.

I apologize.

So yeah.

Last time you'll talk about this leg.

Oh, yeah, of course.

Oh, no.

Not the whole, sorry.

Not the arms, chest, head.

Not the barrel-chested freedom fighters.

Just the leg.

Also, today's Wednesday, we are doing Deer Toasters with Jackie, and I have read through them and they're really good.

And there's one in there that was literally made for you.

Wow.

Okay.

I'm really excited to get into it.

It's been a while since I did Deer Toasters.

And the stories, you know, they leave something to be desired.

So that's desirable as Deer Toasters.

So sorry that it's taken us two minutes and 49 seconds to get here.

How is Harry?

He's good.

He's about to fall asleep for his nap.

So hopefully he's just napping while I'm podcasting.

And then once again, we will have synced up nicely.

But he's just a little cutie and he is doing his thing.

You know, he can't be told what to do.

He's not going to be put into a box.

Like, he's not going to nap if he doesn't want to nap.

Nobody puts Harry in a corner.

No.

And all he just wants to do is eat and cry.

And we let him do that.

I heard a rumor about Harry.

Can you confirm or deny?

I heard that Harry is growing.

We do it every day.

We're growing in the evening.

and even when we play, and when you're training on away, no way,

and we're sad,

and away.

Is that true?

It is true.

Phew.

He's growing every day.

It's really crazy.

Like, I look at pictures from last week.

I'm like, well, these are irrelevant.

Right.

No, I feel that way now when in my time hop when I see pictures of Michaela, I'm like, who the fuck is that?

Like, it doesn't even look like her.

No, we send old pics of Kay every day, and it's like, who is this woman?

I'm unclear.

I'm unfamiliar with her work.

No, No, me too.

But Haroldson is doing great and I'm excited to, you know, be Hannah Montana today, like mommy on the podcast.

Who is she?

Like, we don't know her.

We know.

And then I'll go back to being zombie mom later.

Cool, cool.

Well, you look very pretty.

No, I don't.

No, right now I'm in my zombie mom attire, which is, you know, a mom bun and a t-shirt with stains from my nipple cream.

Got it.

Well, I have to say.

And it's called fashion, and you should look it up, sweetie.

Oh, BRB, just googling that fashion.

No, you actually like could look so much worse and you look nice.

Thanks.

I like this bun.

It's giving, um, it's giving sporty spice.

Oh, thanks.

Yeah, no, my hair is so long too, so it's like the bun, the bun has like the, you know, extra pieces that fly out.

I feel like you are going to emerge because not only are you emerging from maternity leave, you're emerging from nine months of pregnancy and then a pandemic.

I feel like when you finally leave your house, your hair will be down to your pussy and you're going to be like literally a mole woman.

Okay, well, like I was getting haircuts over the last two years.

Oh, you were?

Yeah, just the last haircut I got was in October, but it was a little shorter than I even wanted, but which was perfect.

It gave me room to grow.

Right.

Because you're growing.

We do it every day.

We're growing in the evening and even when we play and when we roll out and win a widow and winnow.

I don't know how the end of the song goes, clearly.

I like your ad lip.

I think it gives it a nice pizza.

I have like a sense of musicality.

I'm kind of like Charlie Pooth, except I'm not annoying as fuck.

Whoa.

And oh, whoa.

Oh, I don't know if like we've really spoken about this because it's like kind of random, but I currently am harboring a lot of hate in my heart for Charlie Pooth.

Why?

And by the way, you have to be careful what you say because anyone out there can hear it.

No, I know.

Experience that firsthand.

I'm sorry, Phillip Phillips.

I'm sorry for what I said.

Even though I said that you're the most talented man to walk the earth, I said that.

You said he wasn't a big star.

Right.

But like, you know what?

A lot of people are big stars.

Look at Will Smith.

It doesn't mean much.

So we did then, we did then receive, you know, contact from Philip Phillips.

So I hear what you're saying.

And actually, this is something we spoke about on the toast yesterday with Girl Boss Town, how like we

as consumers like harbor so much hate for like certain celebrities when they've never actually like done anything.

And that's like with Charlie Pooth.

Like I'm sure he's a good person, but I really feel like he should just take a break and step away from TikTok because it's making me literally hate him.

Like his content and his music.

He's like, what if I made a song out of the sound of this light switch?

And then he released a song called Light Switch.

It was like this really choreographed marketing.

It was so stupid.

And the song, sorry, sucks.

I'm just like harboring a lot of hate for Charlie Pooth right now.

Okay.

Okay.

Might I suggest

like you think it's Charlie that needs to take TikTok.

I know you're going to say and I say no.

I say no.

Might you need to take a step away from TikTok since it's causing these really extreme emotions.

No, I also have one more really hot take to share about Charlie Pooth.

Having perfect pitch is not a personality trait.

Like you can't build a brand around it.

It's not the center of your universe.

Like a lot of us have perfect pitch, okay?

And we're just moving on with our lives.

I know.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Hey, Jackie.

Wait, sorry.

Can you tell me what note this is?

That's Croix.

Yes, very good.

In France, they pronounce it La Croix.

That's La Croix.

Okay, so

sorry to Charlie Pooth.

Sorry to this man.

That's just how it's going to have to be.

I don't feel that way.

I feel the need to like, one of us has to be pro and con everyone ever since Phillip Phillips gate.

That way there's something when they do eventually hear this podcast

because it's just crazy where this podcast finds itself.

No, that's what we were talking about yesterday.

Also, we were talking about Friday Night Light.

She's like, I know Taylor Kitch will probably never hear this.

And I'm like, GBT, actually,

I wouldn't say that.

Like, I wouldn't not say that.

Like, he probably has a sister who's a toaster, okay?

Totally.

Speaking of people who listen to the toast, we just have to do our daily Kylie update because we never spoke about the fact that she changed the name.

We didn't?

You and I didn't.

Oh, me and Ben did.

And I'm just

shook to the core.

She just constantly leaves us wanting more.

And she's so funny.

She's like, I'm just going to tell you guys, because I keep seeing this name Wolf everywhere, like as if I I didn't tell you that that was a name.

Jackie, I literally said the same thing.

She's like yelling at us for using the name.

She told us.

I think, I don't think she meant it that way.

And I think she eventually deleted her story because I, I think she was like, I see a lot of you guys.

Well, no, yeah, she told us.

Or calling my son by the name I named him.

And I just want to say overall, like, and I was talking about this in the lead up to the pregnancy.

Like, I can't believe this doesn't have happen more often.

I actually am completely here for this decision.

And you should normalize changing the name if, you know, you live with it and it doesn't work and there's they should make it easy like yes when you leave the hospital you have to fill out the birth certificate i imagine if you want to change it after that it's really fucking hard there should be like a 30-day window where like the paperwork hasn't been filed and like parents have flexibility and i think it should be called the kylie jenner law it should be called wolf's law wolf's law and also speaking of kylie like she did not respond to our um cry for help asking her to post a picture of her dogs to let her know that she listens to the morning toast but that's because she posted her vlog that day we got more than we even bargained for.

And she's not going to post like this, you know, amazing award style vlog and then also like do her shout out to the toast, especially because she gave us two and she's not going to keep indulging us like that.

So we shouldn't ask for another one today?

I mean, what did you have in mind?

I think she shouldn't announce the baby's name today.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

And like, honestly, if she, let's give her Wednesday and Thursday because she's obviously busy.

She's a new mom.

So today, March 30th, and then tomorrow is March.

Is there 31 days?

There's 31 days.

So the 30th or the 31st, Kylie, that is the window you have to announce your child's name to let us know.

Okay.

And also Friday, April 1st.

Oh my God.

But then it would be on April Fool's.

Yeah, no.

So I'm just saying today or tomorrow.

Yeah, it's today or tomorrow.

Yeah.

I don't know if she listens to these episodes right when they drop because, like you said, she's very busy.

Right, running a billion dollar company.

And I saw yesterday she was back in the office.

She made a TikTok with her Skittles machine.

Yeah, and just like her gorgeous face.

So exciting.

Kylie, I hope everything is going well.

Miss you.

Miss you, crave you, desire you all the time.

Okay, I think we should dive in because we've got a lot to cover in addition to the fat

dear toasters.

Okay, so without further ado, to do to do,

it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

And today's episode is brought to you by MTV's Ex on the Beach.

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Thank you for those, Claudia.

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Yeah, thank you to everyone.

Thank you, Jackie.

We all want to thank you.

I think we all deserve to be thanked.

I think so too, except for Will Smith.

So our first story, I mean, I could have chosen all the stories today are about so-and-so reacts to Will Smith's slap, like literally from the most relevant to the least.

But Amy Schumer did put out a statement about the slap saying that she's, quote, still triggered and traumatized by it.

So, she took to Instagram to start out with a joke promoting her new Hulu show, saying, Love that for her.

Saying, I think we can all agree that the best way to unpack what happened is to stream my new series, Life and Beth on Hulu, and to see me on tour this fall, but for real.

I actually watched the first 10 minutes of her new show, and it was like incredibly dark.

I think it literally pointed and like then it turns around.

She's like a sad woman and clearly something happens that like makes her reevaluate her life.

Um, so that's my thoughts on that.

But this is, she said, but for real, still triggered and traumatized.

I love my friend Chris Rock and believe he handled it like a pro, stayed up there and gave an Oscar to his friend Questlove.

And the whole thing was so disturbing.

She said, I'm still in shock and stunned and sad.

I'm proud of myself and my co-hosts, but yeah, waiting for this sickening feeling to go away from what we all witnessed.

Yeah, I think the general consensus amongst the comedian community is like everyone is standing by Chris Rock, except for Tiffany Haddish, who's out here making some of the worst takes of all time.

So this doesn't surprise me.

It's a horrible precedent for comedians.

It's, you know, of course, you can get on stage and slap a comedian that you don't like.

Right.

Like at an award show, even if you're doing stand-up, you constantly are making fun of like people in the audience.

Like now that this is like a remotely acceptable, I mean, personally, I don't think it's not response to someone making fun of you.

I mean, and I feel like there's this, like, kind of, it's so odd.

There's like moral ambiguity around this.

It's like, what do you think about the Will Smith scrap?

As if there's any response other than it's completely no, like unacceptable behavior.

You know, so, and so that's what we were talking about yesterday because Will Smith did release an apology statement, which I was like relieved by because I've seen so many people like recapping this or giving their thoughts on the internet.

And a lot of the takes are like he was defending his wife, like, you don't make fun of someone with an autoimmune disease.

And it was like justifying his behavior.

So there's like a large community of people supporting Will Smith on this.

So he could have like stood by what he did.

His actions seemed justified by a lot of people, and he wouldn't have had to make the apology.

So I was relieved, even, you know, in the slightest, that he at least acknowledged that it was wrong.

And he is going on red table talk.

Yeah, I mean, that doesn't like impress me much to give, you know, like to squeeze all the juice out of this thing.

What's

like bothersome to me is like, okay, so he had this moment and then he also had the biggest stage and the same stage where he did it to address it.

And his speech, like, I think he tried to be vague about it and, you know, address it without like explicitly talking about it.

Cause obviously, like, this was a big moment in his career and he doesn't want like it to be marred by what he did.

But spoiler alert, it's already marred by what you did.

So you might as well address it in the same forum where you did it.

Because now, like, who's going to read your Instagram caption?

I personally don't care.

And I just felt like his speech was like, it's just so 2022 that the person who assaults a person on stage is also in their speech saying that they are called to be an ambassador of love.

No, and they get a standing ovation from Hollywood, which is just like so Hollywood.

And it just feels like nobody like knew how to react in the moment, which I can.

understand for like a lot of people in the audience.

Like maybe it was confusing.

Maybe they were like, is this a bit like, you know,

it was just so odd.

But the fact that there was like not one adult in the room who was like, get him out of here.

Right.

Not one.

No.

And by the way, 100%.

And what I really didn't like about his speech is like, don't bring Richard Williams into this.

Like, don't compare what you did.

Richard Williams was a fierce defender of his family.

I don't think Richard Williams ever smacked anyone on national television.

So don't bring Venus and Serena's dad into this.

Like, he was a great man, a man great enough to have a movie made about him.

So like, this is on you and you only.

He really tried to like bring it all full circle to the role.

And I think, you know, it was a commendable effort.

But as far as as like forgiveness he really didn't say sorry in in the same place where he could have just like addressed it head on yeah he had the same audience's attention and i mean he did apologize during his speech he apologized to everyone except chris rock right and no and so that was really the big difference with his uh instagram apology was that he addressed it apologized to to chris and that means nothing if he hasn't personally reached out to Chris Rock.

I'm sure you've seen the reports that like sales for Chris Rock stand up are skyrocketing.

Like fanfare for Chris Rock is there.

I just really want to hear from Chris Rock.

And I don't think that we will.

I don't think he's that type of celebrity.

Like I think he's private.

He lives in New Jersey.

He doesn't like play the stupid ass games.

But I would love to hear from him.

Yeah.

I mean, maybe he'll address it in his comedy like with jokes and sometime he'll have press and like that's like a nice way to um and also like then all those people buying tickets will be happy because I'm sure that's what they're going for.

But I think Chris Rock handled it like an absolute professional.

Like champ.

you yeah it was

i don't know what else a person could do it was one of the most shocking things i've ever seen shocking even the most like seasoned professional comedian no one is prepared for that so to have to go on with the show and you know what really justice for questlove because that was like a huge moment for him his first oscar his documentary was like i was watching jimmy fallon he was doing an interview with hoda and he was talking he was literally gonna cry about like how proud he was of questlove and was talking about how like for the last year after every show he spent hours and hours and hours watching footage and editing and like it was this huge feat for him um

and the whole moment was overshadowed and a lot of people's moments were overshadowed Questlove obviously most obviously but um I also saw Jim Carrey a lot of people are giving their takes and a lot of people have good takes I thought Jim Carrey did um did the the story justice when he did an interview with Gail King on CBS Yeah, what did he say?

Will you?

He was just like, he was really upset by it.

Like, obviously, as a comedian, like the notion that you can just like get up and smack someone because you don't like something they said.

Like, he was like, that is asinine.

And like the, the amount of work that it takes to get to the Oscars, whether you win or not, but like to be even nominated, just to be in the room requires so much hard work, so many years of just like blood, sweat, and tears.

And for Will Smith to ruin that for every single person was disgraceful is what Jim Cowrey said.

Yeah.

Also, I saw that he said something about Hollywood like being spineless for the fact that they were all like stood up and gave him a standing ovation.

Like really, it was like zombies, you know, they just did not know what to do.

They just like follow the person next to them.

Yeah.

Honestly, I don't think I could blame anyone in the audience for like for standing up.

First of all, because whenever anyone wins an award, you stand up.

And two, like it was really unclear at that moment if that bit was staged.

And we at home like were all figuring it out like on the internet, all working together.

But I don't think anyone truly knew like what was going on until like an hour had passed.

Yeah.

Also, Bill Maher spoke about it and he said that it was like cancel culture encapsulated.

He said, Because at first you saw he was laughing at the joke, right?

Yes.

This is what happens with a lot of cancel stuff.

He said, at first, oh, it's funny.

And then you look around, oh, wait, I'm supposed to be offended.

And then there's the subsequent overreaction.

He was like, the Twitter mob come alive, says Bill Maher.

That's actually a really good way to put it.

Yeah, I mean, everybody, not actually not everybody, but there it is true.

Like, Will Smith was laughing at first.

I mean, at first, i didn't understand the joke i thought you want to know what i thought i thought jada pinkett smith had starred in a bad movie called gi jane and he was making fun of her movie and asking when the sequel was coming i didn't know it either but like when things started to go awry like you know i googled immediately gi jane i saw demi moore looking sexy as fuck with a shaved head and then i understood the reference um

But yeah,

I actually have found it really interesting to hear what different celebrities think because I just, I don't know, I find it interesting.

Zoe Kravitz is like very upset about it.

Tiffany Haddish is, I think, the most famous outspoken person in favor of Will Smith's actions.

I just,

it's literally the craziest thing that's ever happened, honestly.

It's the craziest thing that's ever happened.

And the fact that there's like,

you know, two sides is more.

It's pretty crazy.

Yeah.

Just sad state

of the world.

Anyways, back to Amy Schumer.

I just wanted to say, I actually thought that the way that she brought it back, like during the show, I think now, I think now a lot of people are like, we had the wrong reaction at the time.

And like, we should have taken it more seriously, but people didn't know what to do.

So I feel like they're kind of like walking back what they did.

But I actually thought, like, the way that what Amy said right after was just like, did something happen?

feels it was

so funny.

It was really funny.

And then when she called Kirsten Duns the seat filler, like I was actually laughing so hard.

Well, so you know there's like a north, she's getting like backlash.

I saw that this morning.

People are insane.

No, you know what?

We reported on it yesterday, so I don't want to repeat myself, but I just want to say, like, how about everyone leaves comedians alone?

Like, don't invite us places anymore.

Like, we don't want to make you laugh anymore because you can't take a fucking joke.

We'll just make the normal people laugh.

And you guys can have your boring ass award shows with like an MC.

No, no host.

How about that?

Okay.

Yeah.

I thought that her segue was actually really funny.

And it was a great bit.

And Chris Kirsten Dunst was in on it.

Even if she wasn't, it was obviously a joke.

Like, nobody thinks Kirsten Dunst is a fucking seat filler.

No, and for most of us, maybe not for those who watch The Power of the Dog, even though Kirsten Dunst is in that too.

But for most of us, like, Kirsten Dunst is the bigger star.

I actually think it would have been more offensive if she did it to her, like, to Jesse.

Well, Jesse.

Obviously, because he's a fucking nobody.

No, but he's not a no.

He's like a very big actor.

Who's unknown?

He's the type of guy that, if you saw him in the street, actually, I mean, if you watched Friday Night Lights,

then like,

yeah, he's seared into your brain.

Yeah, no, like, if we had to, you know, compare the two in the relationship, Kirsten Dunce is obviously the bigger, bigger star.

That's why it's funny.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And she was a good sport.

I saw like paparazzi pictures of her like being off camera, hysterically laughing.

Like, it's funny.

And honestly, like.

People on my TikTok, like, I've ended up on a terrible side of TikTok where, like, I saw this girl being like, we need to talk about Amy Schumer.

And she gave this horrible take about how it was like such an offensive joke.

I literally wanted to write a comment, like, but I'm not a troll.

I wanted to write, like, you, my friend, are a big, big, big loser.

You absolutely have to go outside and get some fresh air and see your friends and family if you have any.

Which gather, what I gather from this atrocious take is that you don't have any.

Like, it was just horrendous.

Wow.

Wow.

Yeah.

Sorry.

I mean, just, I'm just going to put that in the column of you've got to step away from TikTok.

probably

probably okay well i mean

we shall see what happens if there's any repercussions from this who knows but it was just a crazy wild turn of events

are you ready for our next story is me kelly clarkson has finalized her name change to kelly brianne confusing everyone worldwide nationwide 666 666 666 and you know what like i i need explanation on this So, I think a lot of people saw this and thought that Clarkson was her married name.

It is not.

It is her name she had on American Idol.

We do know that she has like a very

estranged and toxic relationship with her father.

So, I have to assume.

This is what she said.

No, I don't think it's about her dad.

So, obviously, her public name is Kelly Clarkson.

I believe when she got married, like in her personal life, she was Kelly Blackstock.

And so, she said, I just got divorced.

So, I had to drop my married last name.

I just kept my middle name for my personal life.

I'm still Kelly Clarkson.

I don't think I can change Clarkson at this point.

I'm 20 years in.

She had previously explained that Kelly Brianne more fully reflects who I am.

So maybe it's like she likes having her like personal name and her famous name.

I just don't think like at the age of 35 or whatever, she is like, you could change your personal name.

Like, that's just not how it works.

It was already changing because of her divorce.

I'm not, I'm really just like not understanding this entire thing.

No, I'm not understanding it either, especially when you're such an icon, such as Kelly Clarkson.

Like, why do you need a personal and a professional name?

Like, and it's the perfect name, like, Kelly Clarkson.

Like, there's not a better name, has never been given.

This is just like,

I don't know, it's so odd.

You know, I feel like Kelly has been through a lot and she's handled all of it with grace.

And maybe this is her way of just like having a breakdown.

Yeah, yeah.

Of just because I don't get it.

Don't have it all together.

Kelly Brianne.

I'm so beyond confused.

Claudia, she's Kelly Brianne of Tarth.

That's a funny one.

Also, have you seen that Kelly is hosting this new show called American Song Contest with Snoop Dogg?

I saw, and that's where she was talking about the new name.

Got it.

I have to say, I think that this, I mean, I haven't watched one mere moment of it, but I think this concept of a show is actually really good.

It's like American Eurovision, where every state has a song that competes.

I just kind of love it.

I kind of like it.

It's giving like Catching Kelsey vibes because he, during his reality love show, it was one girl from every state.

Oh, was it?

Yeah.

Isn't that crazy?

50 girls.

50 girl.

That's a lot.

Yeah.

No, it was like kind of insane, but really a fabulous idea.

The weirdest thing about Catching Kelsey, the reality show about NFL star Travis Kelsey.

Travis Kelsey?

Travis Kelsey.

Is that like, that's the type of show you do when like you're irrelevant and like not good at football.

But like every time Ben's watching football, I'm like, oh, oh who is that he's hot ben's like it's travis kelsey like he's really good he's like still in like one of the he's like a top player so that's just not something like a top player does it makes no sense no it's like if aaron rogers like was the bachelor like you go to reality tv after your nfl career to die like you don't go in the middle yeah no it's so odd and it's not as if he has like actually a hard time meeting women of course not i mean but i'm not complaining because the show was fantastic yeah

you know i just wish he found love at the end of it.

I think like literally the show ended.

They like hooked up and then that was it.

That was just a unique time in pop culture.

It was.

Anyways, so Kelly's new show, Catching Kelly.

Catching Kelly.

You can check it out on NBC.

Okay, and that's Kelly Brianne.

That's Kelly Brianne.

Don't get it twisted.

Do not get it twisted.

Are you ready for our next story?

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Great.

Thank you so much.

Our next story is, you know, a little postpartum content because I just have a special place in my heart now for celebrities opening up.

Olivia Munn says she's, quote, struggling with postpartum life four months after giving birth.

So Olivia Munn posted to her Instagram story a picture of herself at 1.54 a.m.

saying postpartum life right now.

Everyone's asleep except me.

I've been wearing the same shirt for three days.

I think maybe more.

I'm pretty sure that's spit up on my shirt.

I'm so, so happy.

And at the same time, I'm struggling.

Weird to feel both simultaneously, yet so grateful to have all the happiness to keep me afloat.

Also, sidebar, like she really looks stunning and I don't see a stain on her shirt.

It ain't right.

It ain't.

It ain't right.

Yeah, no, like if I was wearing the same shirt for three days, which like i would smell so bad right now um i wouldn't look like that but you know what everyone has a different journey 100

and i love her opening up like i personally am just still stuck on the fact that she had a baby with john mulane like i literally can't get over it it's it has not processed she's trying to like move forward like move everything forward they both are they're like we are standing firmly in the ground like we cannot be firmly in the past and it's funny how like sometimes we have like collective amnesia about stuff and how you can just like move on from something so quickly but people will not move on from this.

Because, first of all, the timeline that he shared when he went on Seth Meyers was like kind of a lie.

And a lot of people have done like research via Anna Marie Tenler's Instagram.

There's a lot of murkiness as to like when the relationship started, when she got pregnant.

So we never really got full clarity on that.

And so that leaves people to wonder and start conspiracy theories, which is why a lot of us are so firmly staying in the past.

And also like, it's just crazy how he was like the guy who didn't want kids, the guy who didn't want kids, and had this amazing marriage that people were obsessed with.

And then we don't hear from him for two months because he's struggling with addiction and we're like, happy he's seeking help.

And then he comes out, I got a girlfriend and she's pregnant.

Like, it's crazy.

It's crazy.

I mean, it just goes to show you really never know like what's going on between two people or even with one person.

And Olivia Munn's just trying to like out here be a relatable postpartum girly.

And I'm going to let her have it.

And I, I appreciate the relatability.

So do I.

I agree.

Like, I think anytime people don't glamorize postpartum life, like, it's great because the ones that do, like, while I love that for you, you're making other people feel bad.

So stop.

The way that I feel about it is like, I don't mind if someone's glamorizing postpartum life as long as they're being like honest about their experience.

Like, for example, Christine Quinn, like she really had that glamorous postpartum experience.

I think it's like literally she's one in a billion.

Yeah.

But if that's really how you're experiencing it, like that's fine by me.

Not everybody has to be like, you know, so

raw.

Gross.

Yeah.

So as long as people are being honest, I don't mind what it looks like.

Yeah.

I guess that's that's fair.

Thanks, Claude.

Anyways, so it's really like so crazy now, like how my whole Instagram or like people that I follow, like I'm just obsessed with people who are like new moms and just sharing stuff.

And it makes me like want to share more because I'm like, oh, maybe I could be that like influencer by somebody else.

But I don't have it in me.

You'll get there.

Like share every thought and feeling.

Like, it's just too much to even experience it, let alone think, you know what, I need to put this on Instagram.

Yeah, I agree.

Like, I feel that.

You know, but then I'm glad that there's others that we can all talk to.

Yeah.

We all like to be influenced.

I think we all like to be well informed.

Are you ready for our next story?

Yes.

Some self-spilled tea from Craig Conover in his new book.

He details his Adderall addiction.

He said, I couldn't film without it.

So Craig's new book, Pillow Talk, What's Wrong with My Sewing, just came out.

And he talked about being addicted to Adderall.

He said, in those early seasons,

the anxiety of needing to be on when I went out to the bars caused me to take more Adderall, and so on.

He said by season three, he was hopelessly hooked on Adderall, taking three 15 milligram pills a day.

Damn.

He said then prior to season five, his breakup with Naomi caused him to take more Adderall than ever, with zero reason to be taking it other than to numb my own sadness.

He said, I take it as like a quick, happy pill, but I just didn't know that I was adding to my depression.

According to his book, A Trip to the Bahamas between seasons five and six led him to realize he had a problem.

He and his friend were spearfishing in the middle of the ocean when he was instructed to alert his pal if he saw a shark.

As one approached, he dove in to warn his friend, but couldn't hold his breath for more than a few seconds because of the Adderall he'd taken earlier that morning.

Luckily, everyone was fine,

but he

it led him to briefly quit Adderall, which then he relapsed.

But then, after filming of the next season ended, he made a conscious decision to quit the stuff for good and founded his sewing company, which he tells Page Six gave him something to live for.

Oh my God, wait.

Okay, first of all, I definitely feel like there's a noticeable difference in like the Craig we currently know, especially re-watching this week's episode of Summerhouse, where he's like extremely lucid and very reasonable.

Um, and I feel like for a while, he wasn't that guy, so I can definitely see a difference in him and i feel like this is really common for young reality stars like when you hear the vanner pump rules kids talk about like their first couple seasons on

um vanner pump rules first of all they were so underpaid and they were so broke that like they literally didn't have food so they would like just eat at a roll so they weren't hungry and they got so thin and i think that like with the really long hours of reality tv and constantly needing to like have energy and be present it's impossible no human being can actually do that so i think this is really common for reality stars yeah i think so too.

And Craig had shared this on the reunion, like when he did finally, you know, get off of taking Adderall.

But you can even see it in his behavior, like on the show.

Like, you know, he would sleep until the afternoon, then go out all night.

And I think also just like the culture of like drinking so much and then having to be awake and wanting to be out for a long time.

Like it's all just conducive to like abusing this sort of medication.

And I think it's a pretty big of him to like share this whole journey.

And this book, I mean, it already sounds good.

It also makes me laugh.

The title.

And I mean,

the title makes me laugh because it's like a quote that he said to Naomi.

And he was so earnest when he said it.

It was like the sweetest thing.

What's wrong with my sewing?

And it's just like now, even this story, like back when he was with Naomi, like that's what he was doing.

He was sleeping till the middle of the afternoon.

And like, she was just like, didn't want that for

her life.

And so I feel like he had to, you know, hit rock bottom in order to make these different changes.

So it all pretty much comes full circle.

What's wrong with my sewing?

Yeah.

And I just feel like I think Craig is in like his best season yet.

He's in an amazing relationship with the queen of the universe.

Like they're perfect together.

He passed the bar.

He has a really, really successful pillow company.

First of all, all the pillows at our studio now are all sewing down south.

It's a really like successful business.

And he like kind of emerged the hero on Southern Charm in a lot of ways.

Like,

yes, but like we haven't seen a season of Southern charm in a while, and it's so crazy how, like, when he goes into the summer house house, he's like, it's like Craig's here, like, and he's like, big man on campus.

But when he's on Southern Charm, he's like everyone's little brother that they're constantly putting down.

I mean, like, we know that he's the hero, but the way that like his friends treat him, he's like not that big man on campus.

No, you're, you're right.

But like, I don't know.

I think like maybe we might see big man on campus in Craig this season.

Like, he's just, he is that guy now.

Yeah, but I don't know.

Like, Whitney and Shep, like, can't let him shine, they just can't.

Whitney, like, really can't.

Actually, no, both of them, like, yeah, like, naming your dog Craig is so fucking rude.

But I think that, based on, like, what I'm I see on like social media and stuff, or maybe I just have hope in my heart, it seems like Shep is a brand new Shep, like, he's still in his relationships.

I feel like he's not like that angry old man that he was.

Agreed.

I think he's been like revived, brought back to life, him and Taylor, traveling a ton.

I agree.

I think that they've all kind of grown up, grown up, except for Austin.

Except for Austin.

I didn't watch this week's Summerhouse, but I was caught up till last week and I watched

Peg, Pagan Craig on Watch What Happens Live.

And they were just so simpatico and so fat.

Eratico?

Eratico hypnotico.

They were so fucking cute.

Like

I couldn't ship harder if I tried.

I couldn't pick two people in the Bravo world.

who I

wanted to see more.

Like I couldn't dream up a better couple.

No, I completely agree.

And while this week's episode, like, was the big fight between Danielle and Sierra, like, they ended it right when the fight began.

So, like, you really didn't miss much.

It's next week.

Got it.

And last week's episode was really good and it held me over.

You know, I felt like I have, I'm in a good place with Summer House.

I'm so happy for you.

Yeah, it's been really good.

And just watching, like, it's just crazy to watch all these shows cross over.

I feel like this is Bravo's dream.

You know, this is literally like the sweet life.

Yeah.

Right.

Hana, man, Tana.

Hana, man, ha.

And no, and you feel like Bravo tried to do this so many times, even like having Vanderpump rules fly out to the Hamptons.

It didn't work.

Even the concept of Winter House, and now it's just like happening so seamlessly.

It's a beautiful thing to behold.

Yeah, agreed.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story, which is just going to lead into a personal TV recap for me?

Sure.

Okay, we have a list of all of the TV shows that are being renewed

across all different platforms, but I will stick to the shows that we care about how does that sound sure okay so first we have apple tv we're getting ted lasso season three of course also morning show season three for those of you who watch hulu we are getting only murders in the building season two so excited can't wait dollface do you um do you watch that show

No, I don't.

And like people tell me that I should.

I just find like all the promo for it really annoying.

Okay, I watched season one, but it's as if I didn't because I don't remember anything that happened other than that I enjoyed it.

But if I want to watch season two, I have to watch season one again.

And like, that feels stupid to watch something I've already seen.

But it came out like three years ago.

Yeah.

But I don't remember a darn thing.

Also, The Great is renewed for season three, surprisingly, because it's like.

I started it.

It was so bad.

I like can't believe.

I was like, wow.

Elle Fan, what's her name?

Elle Fanning?

Yeah.

Elle Fanning in a period piece, being gorgeous, being the queen.

This show stunk.

It's horrible.

I told you that.

What's with the satire?

Like, no, it's so bizarre.

It sucks.

It sucks.

I didn't even finish it.

I thought the same thing, and it should have been exactly up my alley.

Like, yeah.

It was insane.

Love is Blind has been renewed for two more seasons.

They're going to have five seasons.

And by the way, I watched Love is Blind.

That's what I wanted to talk about.

Oh, right.

And also, they have a new

sh like experiment show coming out with Vanessa and Nick Lachey.

It's like either get married or break up.

It's like it's called the ultimatum.

Yeah.

It looks good.

I mean, no, I thought it was good too.

Netflix, it'll probably be good and I'm sure we'll be watching it.

Yeah.

It looks pretty good.

But I watched Love is Blind.

I had so many like strong emotions and opinions that like dissipated 24 hours later.

Right.

I literally had to call Claudia like every five minutes to share my thoughts.

But overall, it was just like such a bizarre season and a bizarre cast.

And nobody, I mean, I guess we have the two couples and they do seem happy together, but

what a weird show.

What a group of losers.

Yeah, yeah.

That at the end of the day is what it is.

And then also, have you recapped Bridgerton yet?

No.

Do you want to talk about it?

Yes.

I thought it was fine.

It was not bad by any means, but like coming off of season one, it was just meh.

In my opinion.

So you said to me, like, it's not as good.

So when I went into it, my stand, like, my expectations were low, which actually made me really like it.

And also, I was saying to you last night, like, I loved season one, but I wasn't like

Daphne Duke, like, ship, like crazy, like everyone else, you know, like I enjoyed it, and they were really cute, but it wasn't like the end-all and be-all for me.

So, I was okay to move on from them.

And I really liked this season.

I thought, like, the storyline was pretty good.

I mean, it was kind of frustrating and stupid.

And like, everyone, like,

just no one being honest about their feelings and getting into this huge, big, dumb mess for absolutely no reason no reason like if we all were just mature like we would have avoided this whole thing right like nobody was pushing these two together it's not like they were obligated to be together it's not like you know the elder miss sharma like couldn't marry the viscount if she wanted to like right she was just like less eligible but she wasn't like off her litter

no yeah no it was so stupid and like honestly for the first half of the season i couldn't fucking stand anthony and kate like both being like competitive like i just i literally wanted to kill both of them like i just couldn't yeah and also this is and we talk about this on the redheads a lot like this trope of like enemies to lovers right and we also had that a bit with daphne and the duke like it's one of my least favorite tropes and i look forward to moving on from it you know what

i think i actually enjoy it in a book but i don't enjoy it i don't think it translates well on tv like the most recent one i read was the hating game Yeah, that's classic enemies to lovers.

It's classic enemies to lovers.

And I felt like in the book, it was really like the way that they hated each other was very real.

And in the show, it was like, you obviously just want to fuck.

So just fuck.

Like, oh, and there was no fucking.

Like, where the fuck was the fucking?

Right.

We were talking about this last night.

Like, with season one, there was like so much YA porniness that like I think everyone loved it so much.

But with this season, like because they don't connect till the very end, like there's not a ton of fucking.

So they were like adding like gratuitous shit, you know, just that they needed to hit their like nip count.

Yeah.

And you could tell it was like they're just trying to like please the fans who are like into the show just for the sex.

Yeah.

100%.

That's me.

Also, um, let's talk about the Eloise and the Penelope of it all.

Like, oh my god, Penn is fucking, spoiler alert, diabolical.

And we were talking in the middle of the show before, like, she turned into like this evil wench.

In the middle of the show, you were like, how do you feel about Penn?

And I was just like, there's something really like twisted about her.

The fact that like, you know, she seems like so sweet and like, you know, sad, like a sad character.

Wallflower.

Yeah, but like the fact that she

writes about all these people, that she like will look Colin in the eye and like is in love with Colin, but like literally ruined his life last year.

Right.

Like her and Colin can never be together because she did that.

No, and also because of what she did to Eloise this season.

Right.

Like I said that before what she did to Eloise.

Yeah.

What she did to Eloise, like, I'm sorry, unforgettable.

Goodbye.

Like, you are the villain of the story.

Like, take your whistle down and shove it up your ass.

No, you know what?

Penelope is giving social justice warrior.

Like,

she does these horrible things and she thinks she's helping people.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, Like you are the crafty lady whistleblowed.

That was the only way you could think to get your friend out of this pinch.

Right.

Right.

Like drag her name through the mud when her family's already going through like a major scandal.

Drag her as a political radical.

Like why not just say like Eloise is ugly?

Penelope being a political radical is the funniest thing you've ever said.

Also, Penelope being in love with Theo is the cutest thing.

Theo?

Theo sharp.

The printer boy.

Eloise.

Yeah, that's what I said.

No, Penelope's in love with Colin.

And honestly, part of me, even though she is like a diabolical radical, I do like really want that for her.

And when she like overheard him talking about her, like, I never wanted to die more.

Like, that's like a thing in movies.

It just happened in Tammy Faye.

Like, when you hear someone talking about you and they say like the worst thing, like, I think we need to outlaw scenes like that.

They make me so uncomfortable.

Okay.

Just want to say, like, Penelope needed that.

She was getting

a control.

Too big for her bridges.

Too big for her bridges, but I will say that, like, as a character move, like, it was out of character for Colin.

He wouldn't have said that.

I feel like the writers just wanted to take Penelope down a peg, but Colin has never spoken like that about Penelope, and he never would.

And, like, no, I think she wanted to radicalize her.

Like, she needed, she becomes, like, enraged afterwards.

Like, you see her looking out the window.

So that's, like, her villain moment, like the moment she turns into like a real evil.

I think

I think so too, but like, and I understand they needed to radicalize her, but um,

it was a too big of a leap, you know, she should have heard something else or so out of character, or even like heard Colin say something that sounded bad, so she walks away, and then like, you know, he says the rest, and it's fine, something like that, even though that's also annoying.

But like, he just wouldn't, he like dragged her to filth.

He would never,

never, he would never.

He would just saved her family from another ruinous moment.

And he's really a nice guy.

Like, he's honestly a catch.

No, like, Colin just wants love.

I mean, it's just sad because, like, love is staring him in the face in the form of this diabolical queen.

In this diabolical wallflower.

Yeah.

But, um, like, but even when he went to, like, visit Marina.

Oh, he's, like, pathetic.

He's so pathetic.

Like, this woman is married with children.

She's the lady of the manor.

Get the fuck out of my house.

Get the fuck out of the house.

I completely agree.

Yeah.

I'm happy to see Marina doing so well.

Me too.

Even though, like, she's not, like, that well, but she's doing well.

No, but like, she is well.

She's mature.

Like, she understands, like, you're

not, like, life.

She's gotten so much of what she wanted.

Not everything is going to be perfect all the time.

Um, what other shows are being renewed?

Oh, well, I just saw Power Mount Plus 1883 is not returning for season two.

What?

Which is like, that doesn't sound, I feel like this article is like an April Fool's prank.

Fraudulent, right?

Why wouldn't it return?

It's from Us Weekly.

Oh, you didn't say that.

Okay, I'll take everything you said with a grain of salt.

Okay, so

TBD on everything.

TBD on everything.

Anyways,

what else?

I think I was mostly doing Bridgerton this week.

It was good.

Like, it wasn't, I just have a really high bar.

You do.

And I just enjoy the, you know, the background.

Simple things in life.

That's me.

Well, our show's not done yet because we have Dear Toasters, which which is our advice segment.

If you ever want to write in, it's deartoasters at gmail.com.

We will always keep you anonymous.

We will change everyone's names.

And also, if you've written into us and we have given you some of our sage gorgeous advice, please write us in with an update.

We would love to know how all that went for you.

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All right, first up, dear toasters.

Hello, Jackson Claude.

How you dern?

At the end of January, my husband was laid off from a sales job.

He kind of already had one foot out the door and he wanted to look for something else, but being fired still sucked nonetheless.

When he was fired, one of my close friends' mom told us that her company was in desperate need of more help in sales and that she would pass along my husband's name if he was interested.

He, of course, was interested and started the application slash interview process.

While I was really excited and hopeful about this job, I still advised my husband not to put all his eggs in one basket and still be applying to other positions too.

Of course, he ignored my sage advice.

Fast forward to today, March 29th, after two interviews and lots of talking with the bosses at this company, they did not offer him the position.

I am beyond frustrated with him, especially for the fact that he is now sitting on the couch moping around feeling sorry for himself.

Is it wrong of me to want to chew his ass out?

I'm a middle school teacher, so I work my fucking ass off daily, and it is so annoying to come home every day and hear him bitch about not having a job.

I just want to pull a Kim Kardashian and tell him to get his fucking ass up and work.

I am over his self-entitled attitude, and I wish he would understand that if you want something in life, you have to go out and work your butt off for it.

And to make all of this even better, we are both stressed about money and bills and all that, as we purchased our first home right before he was laid off.

What is a girl to do in this situation?

My husband is literally a PJOM in every other aspect, but he's driving me fucking nuts.

Love a pissed-off millennial wife.

P.S.

If you read this on the show, I promise to send an update.

Okay, thank you for the promise.

We'll see.

We get a lot of false promises.

We do.

Like that.

This is so frustrating.

And

I understand the desire to chew him out.

And you just have to like look at your dynamic and think of like what's going to be the best way to get through to him.

Because even though it would like would feel so good to just like rip him a new one and just like give him the cold hard facts like is that what's gonna get through to him or if you tailor your message in a different way like would that resonate more you know but either way you need to like whatever you have to say like find a way to say it but just try and find the way that's gonna make the most impact yeah i do think that this is like a situation for tough love because like like you said you just bought a home the bills are piling up and if he's not like it's not his fault necessarily that he doesn't have a job right now but it is his fault if he's not trying and that's what it makes it see like what i gather from your email is that he's just moping around, like, not actively

LinkedIn applying.

You should be playing for like 100 jobs a day.

So, I do think, like, it's annoying, but I do think you have to be like a little rude.

Sorry, like, this is life.

This is life.

Like, it's not, this isn't a video game.

Like, this is real life.

We've got Bill Spaby of the house.

Like, get your fucking ass up and work.

Get your fucking ass up and work.

You should just play that clip around the house all day long until he gets a job.

Yeah.

Be like, I'll turn it off when you start applying to jobs.

Yeah, because at the end of the day, like, shit happens.

I think everyone has been fired from something at something at some point in their life.

It's not really your fault unless he was like, you know,

doing something bad at the office.

But you know, people get fired.

It's not a big deal.

But one, it's like, what can I learn from this so I don't get fired again?

And two,

I have to get my fucking ass up and work.

So sitting around is not an option.

No.

And I think you, you need to make that clear to him.

Otherwise, it's going to just drive you crazy.

And like, clearly he's lost perspective.

And so it's just on you to reel him back in, like show him the bills, show him things aren't adding up and get your fucking ass up and work.

But find the right way to say it for his ears.

Right.

You know his vibe better than us.

Yes.

Okay.

Dear Claude and Jackie, this is two toasters in dire need of advice for our third roommate, Nicole.

She's been seeing a short king, Keith, a total PJOM, for a couple weeks now.

He's been asking her out multiple times a week on nice dates

that last all night.

They love to spend time together and enjoy each other's company, but there's one big question.

They haven't had sex yet, despite Nicole talking about it and initiating it more than a few times.

Each night has ultimately ended with her giving and not receiving.

Sex is really important to her, and she is scared to move forward in the relationship

without knowing if the sexual chemistry is there.

Does she keep going out with him in the hopes that the sex is good and he's just nervous, or does she sever ties now before leading him on too long?

What should she do if the king falls short of her expectations in the bedroom?

Love, two of your biggest fans, and a soon-to-be toaster.

P.S.

We will send an update of her following your advice and what happens.

That's what everyone's saying today.

Wow.

I mean, they're saying it on a day when, like, I really don't know what to

tell you.

This makes me think that he has something he's withholding, like a piece of information.

I don't know what it could be.

Perhaps

like a diagnosis of some sort.

You know, like...

Wait, why do you think that?

Because he won't have sex.

Well, why does it have to be a diagnosis?

Like, why can't it be like...

I meant like an STD.

Oh,

okay.

But I don't know.

Is there STDs that you can only get from sex and not from oral?

Because she's giving him blowjobs.

Interesting.

No, I wasn't getting that vibe.

I was thinking like maybe like a virgin or something.

Oh, like that.

Or maybe even more.

That's more, that's probably.

Yeah.

But it's also, you can do stuff without like having sex.

And if he's okay, like getting a blowjob, then he should be like, okay, you know,

servicing you as well.

Right.

No, the one way.

The one of you sounds like kind of selfish.

The one-way oral ain't right.

I think you should just mention it all.

Yeah, because honestly, and not in a, not in a combative way.

Just be like, is you know, I'm ready when you are.

Like, is there something that's holding you back?

But I think having a conversation about it at this point, like, there's nothing else that you could do without speaking about it.

Just talk about it.

Yeah, but also, like, I just, I don't want to be rude, but I don't think this bodes well for your future relationship with this man because

let's say like he's just like, oh, I thought you just like wanted to give me a blowjob.

He's like an inherently selfish person.

And you talk about how like sexual chemistry is really important.

So like really, if that's who he is, I don't think like you can change him that much.

And I just feel like this relationship is doomed for failure.

Sorry.

I totally agree.

But I want you to find out what's going on.

So like, of course, of course.

Like, obviously, it's probably going to end.

I'm sorry to say.

Sorry to this man.

But before it does, like, give it a fair shot of being and never stop asking questions.

And never stop asking why.

Yeah.

Why haven't we had sex?

Like, why don't you reciprocate?

What is going on?

Be open.

And you know what?

And then I just think that sets a good precedent for the rest of your relationship.

Like, if this were to be

best case scenario, like you get answers and you guys are able to move through it.

But like more realistically, like you can just, you know, have peace at night, like understanding what was going on.

100%.

Yeah.

100%.

Okay, here's our third and final one.

Hello, beautiful, stunning, and smart Claudia, Jackie, McKay, and LC.

I've been a Toasta forever, and I'm an avid Patreon member and podcast listener.

Please help.

So, for some backstory, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for five years.

He's an absolute P-jum, and I love him dearly.

His name is Ben.

He is everything you could ask for, and we talk about the future all the time, and I genuinely want that.

Here's the problem.

I have a guy friend who I always had a thing for.

His name is Maverick.

We are part of the same big friend group, and we have been since high school.

We go on trips and see each other enough, and every time we do, there's just something there.

Always paying attention to me, flirting, but nothing has ever actually happened.

On our last trip, he basically admitted that he's always had a thing for me, but knows I'm in a relationship with Ben and we are planning to get married.

I did not know that's what he was going to say.

I'd always kind of known this was a thing, but it was kind of unspoken.

I would never do anything to ruin Ben and I, but I'm crazy.

Am I crazy for considering what could be with Maverick?

I'm like the girl deciding between her boyfriend and the guy with the ranch.

I constantly have dreams about Maverick, too.

Is it normal to have someone you are just always hung up on, but never actually do anything with?

Am I crazy for having it in the back of my mind all this time?

Please help with a toaster with a deandra's choice damn i mean i will say there's a big difference between this story and that story which is that does maverick have a ranch right because home ownership changes everything land ownership

cuts different

animal ownership absolutely different can he make his own food can he live off like i'm sorry i just think she was trying to reference that like she listens to the toast no no no i know but like don't it's hard like comparison is the thief of joy so you're looking at the ranch toaster and you're like maybe that's Maverick, but I'm letting you know like there's no comparison here if he doesn't have a ranch.

Because a ranch can make you happy.

But even there is no ranch here.

So like, why are we talking about it?

Because I want her to realize this is not the situation.

Right.

Like, right.

Now, not the vibe.

Stop.

No, stop.

No, now we're whittling it down to the person, like the person.

Yes.

And so, I mean, it seems like you're in a happy relationship and you're kind of like always, you know, looking, wondering.

And that's, that's hard.

And that also is a thief of joy.

And it this, like, life is in a book, you know, because in the book, I would say, like, go for Maverick.

100%.

Just like in my favorite book, Girl With No Job.

I wish she had gone for Maverick.

Right, right, right.

But life isn't like that.

And, like, you know, the idea of someone generally is so much better

than the reality of them.

And if you have a good reality with Ben,

stay in that one because the devil you know is better.

Not that they're devils, but what you have is a bird in the hand.

That's what I was going to say.

More pleasant.

Yeah, maybe that's just me being like a conservative girly, but like I'm always just like, don't fuck up something good.

Like, you, it's not like you hate this man.

It's not like you cheat on him.

He cheats on you.

Like, you have something good and you're just like wondering.

And curiosity is fine.

Acting on it is not.

And I just think, like, don't be stupid.

That's my answer.

That's my advice here.

And anyone can seem like the perfect guy from like, you know, stolen glances across the room.

But like

when you're living, you know, you've tested things with Ben.

Like you live together.

You shit together.

Like you're like, like you've seen his skid marks yeah like maybe you guys had the stomach bug together like right

you don't have that same mileage with maverick and the odds that it that it's better than this good thing that you have are pretty slim so i think that this is something that's fine to just like live in your mind and enjoy those stolen glances you know but i wouldn't clandestine meetings and stolen stairs i wouldn't uproot your life for the idea of maverick yeah and you know what like when you've just been friends with someone for so long and like you really love them with your heart, I think a lot of times you can mistake that for feelings when like maybe you just love this person because they remind you of like where you grew up and like your family.

Like it's not always love, but what you have with Ben is love.

Like you guys live together.

Yeah.

Team Ben.

I'm Team Ben too.

It just seems like a lot of work.

Yeah, of course.

And like you don't know what the end result would be.

Yeah, but I think maybe like your relationship with Maverick is unhealthy and like that's worth evaluating.

Right.

Or maybe you are like looking elsewhere because maybe some in some place in your heart, like, you're not happy with Ben.

Or maybe you're just someone who's like always checking out the grass on the other side.

Which is honestly a terrible thing to be.

Like, don't be that girl.

Be happy with what you have.

Yeah.

Unless you're not happy with what you have.

And then, you know, then it sounds like she is.

Then end it for reasons that have nothing to do with Maverick.

Right.

Right.

But it's nice to know.

Maverick was married with children and said to you, I never want to be with you.

End it even if that's the case.

Right.

But it's what I gathered from the emails that like she actually is happy with with Ben.

A bird in the hand, girly.

But do what you want.

100%.

But do what you want.

There's two in the bush.

Yeah, no, there's two in the bush.

Run.

Go.

Go look.

Go.

Go look within the bush.

Those were dear toasters.

Thank you to everyone who wrote in.

Again, the email is deartoasters at gmail.com.

And that is our show.

We hope you guys enjoyed.

Thank you so much, Jackie, for being here.

We are off Thursday, Friday.

I am headed to Texas for tour.

We're also off on Monday.

And then next week, we have Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.

And we have three unbelievable shows.

Like, I know, like, you might want to say, oh, no, we have three instead of five, but these three are better than five regular.

Okay.

Just trust and believe.

Yeah.

Wow.

And the schedule will drop when?

When are you going to drop that?

Let's, let's do maybe Sunday or Monday.

Okay.

That's really exciting.

So keep your eyes peeled on the Morning Toast Instagram where everything great happens.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast and Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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Have an amazing hump day, and we will see you guys on Tuesday.

Bye.

Tuesday.

Goodbye.

Love ya.